Archers Nicknames, Phrases and Abbreviations

The new lyrics to the theme tune, from Mister Legs:

Dumb Tedium, tedium tedium
Dumb tedium tedium dumb


AAB, the: the Ambridge Ambulatory Bedroom (JustJanie)

Ablazing Grace: Grace Archer (joe)

acne jerk: Anisha Jayakody (shell-like)

Adolf Titchner: Rob Titchener (ProphetTenebrae)

Adoxa: Susan Carter (eljay)

after dinner mint, giving someone an: euphemism for the sex act (said suggestively by Matthew to Pip, noted by QuietFlowstheAm, seconded by Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells)

Airfield Sisters, the: Miriam and Lulu Duxford (rosiet)

Akneejerk: Anisha Jayakody (joe)

Alicoholic: Alice Carter (pharoah hound)

Alidespair : Alistair Lloyd (strokecitydave)

Alligator: Alistair Llyod (trad., anon)

Ally-bally-bee: Alistair Lloyd (ProphetTenebrae)

Alush: Alice Carter (can't believe i utter)

Am-aggeddon: the Great Flood of 2015 (DracsM1)

Ambilge: Ambridge (Fourthought)

Ambridge Ambulatory Bedroom, the: the spare room which suddenly appeared at Blossom Hill Cottage, and may also have been found in or missing from other houses (JustJanie)

Amber Archer: (much dreaded) fourth child of David and Ruth Archer (trad., anon.)

Aniseed: Anisha Jayakody (Snarklehound)

Aniseed the vet: Anisha Jayakoday (Snarklehound)

Annie: Anisha Jayakody (Zunky)

Anthrax (Anthea the Battle Axe): Anthea Jennings (Flageolet Bean)

AO: Ambridge Organics shop (trad., anon.)

AOSB: Ambridge's Only Star Batsman: Rob Titchener (charmbrights)

Aporcalypse: what is bound to happen at Berrow Farm (gossipknightley)

Aporkalypse Now encompasses the fate of the porkers in the pig factory and the porkers that no doubt the persuasive Justin will tell about this enterprise when doing his PR.(gossip knightley)

APPs: more than one Grundy -- Ambridge Permanent Paupers (dpbc)

Arsealot: Ursula Titchener (Zunky's son)

Arsula: Ursula Titchener (Foamrubberperson)

Auntie Cardboard: Christine Barford (trad., anon.)

Auntie Satire: Auntie Satya (Wynkyn de Worde)

auntie satnav: Usha's Aunt Satya, from her motorway habit (irene)

Baby Cheesus, the: Henry Archer (trad., anon.)

baby Gridiron: Gideon, Rob's chosen name for Helen's son (majorclanger)

BaconBoy: Tom Archer (Sturmey Archer)

Badger's Leap: Grange Spinney (trad., anon.)

Badly done (name), badly done: Reference to Rob saying this to Helen about the café

Bagfather, the: Rob Titchener (Aisling)

Baggy: Rob Titchener (Sturmey Archer) — not to be confused with Baggy of Baggy & Snatch

Bandy Kneesborough: Mandy Beesborough (anon.)

Barista, the: Anna Tregorran (a barrister) (This Harming Man and wynkyn de worde)

Bartleblood: The Ambridge Elixir of Eternal Life. Keeps elderly Grungies, Archers and other cliched cast members functional for the indefinite future. (Broken Arrow)

Barwick Green: The Archers signature tune "dum di dum di dum di dum..."

Barwick Mondegreens: mishearings which become board Pravda through repetition without confirmation (joe)

Basketcase Farm: Bridge Farm ( ProphetTenebrae)

Baspofald: Bastard Spawn of Aldridge; Ruairi Donovan (trad., anon.)

Baster Babe, the: Henry Archer (trad., anon.)

batting for Darrington: euphemism for being gay, Darrington being "the other team" (trad., anon.)

beach boys, the: Toby and Rox Fairbrother (irene)

Beating Fart, the: Pip Archer (because she is the Beating Heart Of Ambridge according to SO'C) (Migrantfrperson)

Beetle, The: Vanessa Whitburn (trad., anon.)

Big Bapper: Brenda Tucker (trad., anon.)

Big-Ears and Noddy: Adam Macy and Ian Craig (Used2B)

bilemobile: a bile shed on a raft on wheels (Carriecat)

BF: Bridge Farm. Or BrookField. Or Berrow Farm. They renamed the last one from Valley Farm just to confuse us all.

BFNI: Bridge Farm Nest of Idiots, Encompassing any or all of Pat & Tony, Tom, Johnny, Helen and Henwy, depending on context (Gus)

BFPB: the Bridge Farm Permanent Babysitters, Pat and Tony Archer (gossipknightley)

BFPZ, the: the Bridge Farm Petting Zoo (Tuna

BHC ('Bloody House of Custard'): Blossom Hill Cottage (Marsh Gibbon)

Big Sock, The: Sean O'Connor (ProphetTenebrae)

bile sheds: place for Mustardlanders to vent our spleen (inspired typo by Carriecat)

Bitchysnob: Ursula Titchener (Dun Diggin)

Black Widow, the: Elizabeth Pargetter (Broken Arrow most recently)

blamey: Amy Franks, from her habit of casting blame in the wrong directions (trad., anon.)

bleating tart of Ambridge, the: Pip Archer (Broken Arrow)

Blob: Rob Titchener (trad., anon.)

Bloody Hell Cottage: Blossom Hill Cottage (Walter Gabriel's Ghost)

Bloody House of Custard: Blossom Hill Cottage (Marsh Gibbon)

BLT Bumptious Little Tosser: Tommy Archer (RosieT)

BLT: Bumptious Little Twat -- Josh Archer (TufTanya)

Boarstal: the new pig-unit at Berrow Farm (Snarklehound)

Bolter: Kate Madikane (nee Aldridge) (trad., anon.)

Bo Peep: Pip Archer (ayrshire-cowman)

Bo Pip: Pip Archer (Highland cow)

Borefeathers, The: new name for the programme after the Fairbrothers take it over (joe)

BPS: balls per second, a unit for for TA script evaluation (joe)

Brahn: Brian Aldridge (pointed out by Quatermass)

Brain: Brian Aldridge (trad., anon.)

breeding tart, the: Pip Archer (Flageolet Bean)

briefcase/briefcasing — used as an expletive; a reference to when Matt Crawford tripped over his briefcase and muttered something which some listeners heard as a very rude word https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2okU5r12ck

Brine: Brian Aldridge (trad., anon.)

Brokefailed: Brookfield (trad., anon.)

Broody and Moody Ian Craig and Adam Macy (trad., anon.)

Brothers Grimm, the: Toby and Rox Fairbrother (irene)

Bruise: Bruce Titchener (Len Thomas)

Brusque: Bruce Titchener (rosiet)

buckfuddy: Toby Fairbrother in relation to Pip Archer, and vice versa (Snarklehound)

Bumble Buttock: Tumble Tussock cider (Snarklehound)

Bunter: Alan Franks, because he ate all the mince pies (Dusty Substances)

BVW: the Blessed Vanessa Whitburn. In October 2006, Vanessa Whitburn referred to users of these boards with the words 'bless 'em'. Posters still sometimes refer to this.

bypass, the: almost everything outside Ambridge is near it (trad., anon.)

Cackle and Tackle: Lilian Bellamy and Justin Elliott (Stefania)

cardboard and hardboard Christine and George Barford RIP (trad., anon.)

carp: 'crap' was a word banned by the Profanity Filter. Still used occasionally (trad., anon.)

Carpet Burns: PC Harrison Burns (Minihohum)

corncrake, the: Kate Madikane (anon. ? MidgetGemII)

Carol Toboggan: Carol Tregorran 

Carrotline: Caroline Sterling (Foamrubberperson)

Cartridges, the: Christopher Carter and Alice Aldridge, after their marriage (Chris Ghoti)

casseroles: Jill's use of the casserole as a social weapon is noted (trad., anon.) "In a very real sense, the casserole is all around us" — Keri Davies

CATP complain about this post — see catpee (trad., anon.)

catpee: to press the exclamation mark at the top of a post to complain about it to the moderators; comes from CATP, "complain about this post" (trad., anon.)

cattoo, the: the cattle, in Pipspeak (trad., anon.)

CCC: Change Counting Club (for people who prefer change counting to melodrama)

Cecil B DeSnell: Lynda Snell in Director mode (joe)

Champion the WonderPip: Pip Archer (Gus)

change-counting: in the village shop; done for many years by Martha Woodford and then Betty Tucker, now (not often enough) by Susan Carter. It leads to the traditional saying: "Be the change you wish to count." (trad., anon.)

Chaz the Loan Goldfish: a character in Ambridge Extra who was a rather pathetic loan shark (SunnyakaSonny)

Châtelaine of Wittering Heights, the: Jennifer Aldridge (joe)

Check: Jack Woolley (pointed out by Quatermass)

cheeseblocked: creative mishearing of Kate telling Roy "your chi's blocked" (Simon)
    Explanatory notes from more than one source: this may mean
    1) A digestive dysfunction caused by cheese;
    2) A form of punishment along the lines of being stoned, or as an alternative to waterboarding;
    3) A banishment from a cheese-orientated organisation;
    4) A defensive manoeuvre in a local martial art, colloquially known as Tai Cheese (see Ecky Thump for comparison);
    5) A cognitive, emotional or spiritual discombobulation that interferes with the process of making cheese. (I'm sure the Bridge Farm crew could elaborate on this);
    6) Like "wood-blocked", but with the print produced from carved cheese, rather than carved wood. A good Parmesan would be most durable, but a Brie, for example, would be both ephemeral and splodgy. The cheese would be an integral part of the artform;
    7) A lung condition caused by excessive inhalation of cheese mould.

Cheese Straw: Helen Archer (trad., anon.)

Chilli con Carnal: offered by Susan Carter to Neil Carter (1Eggor2)

Chilli con Carne: offered by Susan Carter to Neil Carter when what she seemed to mean was sex.

chipolarcher: the offspring of Tom Archer (Tommy Sausage) and Kirsty Miller (binocular)

Chipolata Kid, The: Tom Archer (Mister Legs)

chiz chiz: a swindle; taken from the Molesworth books. Also "as any fule kno", ect. ect. (Geoffrey Willans)

Chuckle Brothers: David and Ruth (trad., anon.)

Chuckle Brothers, the: Rex and Toby Fairbrother (pointed out by Joe K)

Chuckles, Chuckles O'Baster Ian Craig or possibly Ian Archer (Country Squire)

Chocolate Tea Pat: Pat Archer, usefulness of (Tomas_Bosque)

Clarrieluv: Clarrie Grundy as referred to by her husband Eddie (trad., anon.)

clique: occasionally posters, particularly those who have been posting for many years and know each other, are accused of being in a clique. Not accurate. (trad., anon.)

CMD: Call Me Dan; Dan Hebden Lloyd (barwick_green)

coat: "I'll get my coat" is said when someone has made a bad joke (trad., anon.)

Constable Bluebottle : PC Harrison Burns (Tuna Tuxedo)

Constable Carpet: Harrison Burns (Marsh Gibbon)

Constant In: Constantin the Busy Boy picker (Broken Arrow)

Control Knob, The: Rob Titchener (Epponn'knee-Rae)

Cookie Boy: Ian Craig (trad., anon.)

Corpulant Porpoise, The Rev : Alan Franks (wynkyn de worde)

Costalot Cafe: the Bridge Farm Cafe, whatever it ends up being called (Foamrubberperson)

cowboy, the: Matthew Holman, according to Toby Fairbrother in the programme

Cowditz: the Berrow Farm megadairy

CRAP: Character-Related Amnesia Problem; what is going on in TA. "So if we comment on crap writing, we're making an almost academic Lit Crit point." (carrick-bend)

Creepycop, the: PC Harrison Burns

Creepy Copper, the: PC Harrison Burns

Creepy sex pest #1: Toby Fairbrother (ProphetTenebrae)

Crispy Grace: Grace Archer (wynkyn de worde)

Crouton, The: the baby of Kirsty Millar and Tom Archer (joe)

CSMKK, the: the Custard Stained Memorial Kitchen Knife (Miss Frog)

Cucumber Man: Ross Kirby, an Echo journalist who made some suggestive comment about the cucumbers at Ambridge Organics (trad., anon.)

Cursula: Ursula Titchener

custardy: custody, in use for a long time but particularly after the "real custard" episode of 3rd April 2016 (trad., anon.)

cyber-drinks: come in various sizes: buckets, wheelie-bins, skips, paddling pools, even oil tankers (trad., anon.)

Cyclops: Mike Tucker (trad., anon.)

Dacow: Berrow Farm cow unit (Snarklehound)

damacratic republic, the: the holdings of Damara Limited (irene1)

damacratic republic supreme leader: Rob sees himself as this (irene1)

Dampling, The: Henry Archer (Gus)

damp squid, a: the rest of the world calls it a damp squib (originally a typo by annakist)

Darrathon, The: the Darrell Makepeace Depression storyline (steenbok)

deading, dedding: killing off an Archers character (trad., anon.)

DD (Dopey Duo) Ruth and David Archer (trad., anon.)

DeadBetty Tucker: she's dead, Jim (trad., anon.)

dekaboom: see kaboom

delaying supper: Offering sex. Siobhán Hathaway asked her husband Tim "Shall I, er, delay supper?" (trad., anon.)

Dementor: Kathy Perks (trad., anon.)

DeMerde: Demara Capital (joe)

dibble, the: PC Harrison Burns (Edgeley)

Dicklock: Dr Richard Locke (Flageolet Bean)

Dickyard: Rickyard Cottage, especially with Toby living in it (catvirago)

Dickyard Cottage: Rickyard Cottage with Toby in residence (TUNA)

Dim-ara: Demara Capital (AFrend)

Dimcerity: dimwitted but very sincere encouragement, such as that given by David to Elizabeth about her parenting skills (Broken Arrow)

Dimvid: David Archer (TUNA)

Dobbin: Debbie Aldridge (trad., anon.)

Doc Locthario: Richard Locke (Broken Arrow)

Doc Schlock: Richard Locke (AFrend)

Doctor Quack: Richard Locke (trad., anon)

doggedly independent: the header on the official Who's Who entry on the TA website described Helen as "Fragile, but doggedly independent". Now it calls her a tragic heroine.

Doom Music: a later part of the theme music which used to be played when a character was either dead or dying at the end of an episode. Vanessa Whitburn, who was quoted as "hating it", stopped its use (trad., anon.)

Door-Matt: Matthew Holman (Tuna Tuxedo )

DoorPat: Pat Archer (TheReds)

Dopey: David Archer (trad., anon.)

Dopey and Mopey: David and Ruth Archer (GeordieLad)

Dopey Dearest: David Archer (Tuna Tuxedo)

Dopey Duo (DD): David and Ruth (trad., anon.)

Dopeynomics: Brookfield economic practice (dpbc)

Doreen: Jolene Archer. Not really a nickname; "Doreen Amanda Rogers" was her original name.

Dorothy Dansgirl: Dan Hebden Lloyd's girlfriend Dorothy (Epponn'knee-Rae)

Dosh: Josh Archer (Tuna)

Dour House, The: the Dower House (NotSoTinyTim)

Dower Tent, the: where Elizabeth will live when Freddie inherits (dpbc)

Dr Death: Richard Locke (trad., anon.)

DreadFoolKrate: Kate Madikane (Sturmey Archer)

DredFuleKrate: Kate Madikane (Sturmey Archer)

Drip: Pip Archer (anon.)

DS Walford: DS Madely, because the actor also plays a policeman in EastEnders

DtA: Discuss the Archers (forum)

Duckbills, the: Miriam and Lulu Duxford (susu)

Duckboard Sisters, the: The Duxford Sisters (Armitage Shanks) 

Ducks Caff, the: Les Sœurs Heureuses (rosiet)

Dullard: Darrell Makepeace (joe)

Dumbara : Damara Holdings (Prophet Tenebrae)

Dustbin: Justin Elliott (Sergeant Sunshine)

Dustbin Eliot: Justin Elliott (Sergeant Sunshine)

EATTC: The Rob/Helen storyline, Eating Ambridge To The Core leaving nothing but some pips and and a mouldy stalk (Positively Debutante)

Echo Warrior, the: Kirsty Miller repeating herself again (Armitage Shanks)

Ediot, the: the editor (joe)

Eek, Oh, Warrior, the: Kirsty Miller (can't believe i utter)

Eeyore: Tony Archer (trad., anon.)

Elizardbeth: Elizabeth Pargetter (TUNA)

ElMona: Elona Makepeace (rosiet)

Enclave, the: Ambridge and its immediate area (trad., anon.)

Enema: Emma Grundy (who is a pain in the arse and makes you feel uncomfortable) (NotSoTinyTim)

Enemed: Emma and Ed Grundy (Fanta)

ewekiller option, the: Pip Archer (joe)

FA: Fantasy Archers

F & P: the annual Flower and Produce show in September. (trad., anon.)

Fagash, Fagash Lil: Lillian Bellamy (trad., anon.)

fainting couch: used by more sensitive posters when things Get Too Much (trad., anon.)

fairy: there are fairies responsible for SLs in TA resolving themselves without consequences (job fairy, relationship fairy, dairy fairy, etc). Keri Davies has denied this. (trad., anon.)

Fairy Dairy, the: Mike and Ed's enterprise (trad., anon.)

FairlyAwfulBrothers, the: Toby and Rex Fairbrother (Sturmey Archer)

Far Quenelles, the: when it comes to shouting at the radio in exasperation while TA is on.... (Mister Legs)

Fat Dan: Daniel Hebden when he was on steroids as a child (trad., anon)

Feather: Heather (Apple Orchard)

Featherbrain Brothers, the: Rex and Toby Fairbrother (Griesley Wife)

Featherbrains, The: Rex and Toby Fairbrother (LlamaDrama)

FF: Felicity Finch, who plays Ruth Archer (trad., anon.)

FFD: Daniel Hebden after we were forbidden by Keri Davies to call him Fat Dan (trad., anon)

FFOA: First Family of Ambridge, the Brookfield Archers (trad., anon.)

Fistram Porkmore: Tristram Hawkshaw (Snarklehound)

Fistula: Ursula Titchener (Lindow woman)

Fixadent: Mr La Teeth the 'Fixer' ie Latif, Justin's friend(Roxette)

Fizz: Pip Archer (Jude, on air)

Flakey: Kate Madikane (Broken Arrow)

Flapjack the Ripper: Jill Archer (barwick_green)

Flat Nigel (a.k.a. 32 ft/sec² a.k.a. g): Nigel Pagetter (deceased) (Sturmey Archer)

Flibbertigibbet, the: Lilian Bellamy (Peggy Woolley, on air)

FLOA: First Lady of Ambridge, currently Ruth Archer (trad., anon.)

Fludde, ye: The Am flood of 1st (or 1st-5th) March 2015 (trad., anon.)

footstinger, the: The Toe Bee.™ Toby Fairbrother (steenbok)

Foreverpet: Heather Pritchard (wildwomanwonga)

Formerly Welsh Pat: Pat Archer (NotSoTinyTim and possibly another)

forsythia moment: not convinced one way or the other. Shula doing the church flowers said she was "in two minds about forsythia" (trad., anon.)

FOTPOT: Friends of Tony, Poor Old Tony (BBC Board)

Foulbrothers, the: Rex and Toby Fairbrother (Epponn'knee-Rae)

Fowl and Jowl: Phil and Jill Archer (trad., anon.)

Foxbreath: Oliver Sterling. (trad., anon.)

Foxbrush: Oliver Sterling (trad., anon.)

fred: what some people call a thread (trad., anon.)

Fridge Farm: Bridge Farm

Frilly: Freddie and Lily Pargetter

Full Thickness Burns: PC Harrison Burns — full thickness burns is the old way of saying third degree burns (HedgeSparrow)

Fumble Futtock: Tumble Tussock cider (Snarklehound)

Fumble Gusset: Tumble Tussock cider (barwick_green)

Gack: Gideon/Jack, name for Helen's son (Lizabelle)

Gate-Gate: Pip letting the cows out by accident, 2017 (anon)

Gay Gables: Grey Gables (trad., anon.)

GG: Grey Gables (trad., anon.)

ghastly galumpher, the: Pip Archer (malahide)

Ghastular: Ursula Titchener (Aisling)

Giddygloop: the Bridge Farm Organic Babyfood (catvirago)

Giddyjack: Jack or Gideon, Archer or Titchener (charmbrights)

Giddy'un: Gideon, Rob's chosen name for Helen's son (Sturmey Archer)

GiddyUp: Gideon Titchener (BBC website)

Gidnap: the kidnapping of Jack Archer by Rob Titchener (barwick_green)

gidnapping: kidnapping Gideon (?typo? by TUNA picked up by charmingAnnielynn)

Gin-man Gigolo, the: Toby Fairbrother (steenbok)

goldparent: the Ambridge Money Fairy (Aisling, supported by charmbrights)

Goosey-Gander Bros, the: Toby and Rex Fairbrother (wynkyn de worde)

Grabba Sandwich: lunch. The only thing you can do with a sandwich (trad., anon.)

great culvert in the sky, the: where the bad plots go when they die the death (ProphetTenebrae)

Greg Turner Memorial Shotgun: weapon for use by anyone we would like to get rid of (trad., anon.)

Gridiron, baby: Gideon, Rob's chosen name for Helen's son (majorclanger)

Grim Gorbals: Grey Gables (Mister Legs)

GRoT: Gideon Robert Titchener (many people simultaneously, I think)

Grungie Wassock: Tumble Tussock cider (OscarWildesWit)

GTMS, the: the Greg Turner Memorial Shotgun (joe)

Guantanamoo: Berrow Farm

GWTHWG: Gripping With The Heels While Galloping (carrick-bend)

halibut: used to slap either other posters who have said something untoward or characters in The Archers who deserve it. THWACK!. (trad., anon.)

Ham Hock Farm: Hadley Haugh

Hände hoch!: Hadley Haugh (Nancy Banks-Smith)

Hank: a standard diminutive for "Henry", like Hal and Harry (very trad., anon.)

Hankenjack: The new cheese from Helen Archer (joe)- lactose free and with a bit of a bite. Hard, rather bitter, but with a deceptively fragile crust. A dogged aftertaste. Twice the flavour: once going down and again coming up. From a cutting-edge independent cheesemaker. (joe, gossipknightley, Snarklehound)
Hardboard and Cardboard: George Barford (RIP) and Christine Barford (trad., anon.)

Harrison Berk-Whistle: PC Harrison Burns (Grey Gabbler)

Harrison Fraud: Harrison Burns (Grey Gabbler)

Harrassment Burns: PC Harrison Burns

Hashisha: Anisha Jayakody (Wynkyn de Worde)

Hateful: Hazel Woolley (trad., anon.)

Hazchem: Hazel Woolley (trad., anon.)

Heatherpet: Heather Pritchard

Heleninacell: Helen Titchener (from a Hitler spoof)

Helenocentric: The normal condition of Helen Archer (steenbok)

Hellin: Helen Archer (trad., anon.)

Hellinob: Helen and Rob Titchener (Flageolet Bean)

"Hello you two": a phrase which is used often in TA (to denote how many characters are present in a scene) and much commented on in ML

Hellqueen, (the): Helen Archer and then Helen Ttchener (trad., anon.)

helmat: Helen Titchener in doormat mode (pointed out by charmbrights)

Henbot, the: Henry Archer (Ambridge Forever Frittering)

HenWee: Henry Archer (wynkyn de worde)

Henweed: Henry Archer (Aisling)

hibw: have it both ways. What the scriptwriters think that they can about things (dpbc)

HMP Porkhurst: Her Majesty's Piggery Porkhurst at Berrow Farm (Leeky Hill)

Hodgepig: Terry Hodge, the MCP farmer (dpbc)

Hoggaway: the new pig-unit at Berrow Farm (can't believe i utter)

Hootenanny: Jill Archer (Foamrubberperson)

Hooter, The: Jill Archer (Aisling)

Hooternanny: Jill Archer (schnauzermum)

Hootie: Jill Archer (Sturmey Archer)

Hoover, Henry the: Henry Archer (anon.)

Horrid Henry: Henry Archer (anon.)

HQ, the: the HellQueen; Helen Archer (trad., anon.)

Huge Hyphen: Huw Kennair-Jones, the editor announced in 2016 (anon)

Hugh Hyphen: Huw Kennair-Jones, the editor announced in 2016 (anon)

Hungarian translations: another euphemism for sexual intercourse, after Siobhán and Brian's affair at the time when she was employed to translate documents for his Hungarian enterprise (trad., anon.)

Huw the Hyphen: Huw Kennair-Jones, the editor announced in 2016 (Chris Ghoti)

hydrated cephalopod: see "damp squid" (ProphetTenebrae )

HyphenatEd: Huw Kennair-Jones, the editor announced in 2016 (dpbc)

hypoPipical: hypocritical like Pip (ProphetTenebrae)

IAGABDL: It's All Got A Bit Day Lily (ephemeral) (B. Yonda)

IAGABS: It's All Got A Bit Silly (carrick-bend)

"I came late to avocados": said by Phil Archer

ICI: It's Crap Innit (Gus)

IGULAA: It Got Utterly Ludicrous/Laughable Ages Ago

infestuous: an Archers phenomenon: whenever one of them messes up, a brother, sister or parent can be sure of coming along to tell them they're the best parent, brother, sister etc ever, while sneering at selected other members of the clan (Snarklehound)

in Panto: absent during a time when the character ought to have appeared because the storyline needed their presence (trad., anon. First said about David Troughton being cast as Tony but not appearing over the following Christmas; later applied to his not appearing as Tony during most of the Rob/Helen storyline, to explain why Tony apparently knew nothing about it.)

INYF: It's Not Your Fault -- said to Helen when something was her fault (trad., anon.)

"Isn't that X over there talking to Y?" see "What are you doing here?"

It's Not Your Fault: said to Helen when something was her fault (trad., anon.)

IWBWHW: It's what Betty would have wanted (trad., anon.)

IWGWHW: It's what Greg would have wanted (trad., anon.)

IWNWHW: It's what Nigel would have wanted (trad., anon.)

Jackeon: Jack Archer (Curmy)

Jacknap: the kidnapping of Jack Archer by Rob Titchener (Nelson_G)

Jack the Nipper: Helen's Titchener baby (Zunky)

Jadeon: Jack/Gideon Archer (mikedotneil)

JD: Jenny Darling; Jennifer Aldridge (trad., anon.)

Jeck: Jack Woolley (trad., anon.)

Jedward: Toby and Rex Fairbrother (irene)

Jelliedeelliot: Justin Elliott in his whelk-stall capacity (Zunky)

Jellyot: Justin Elliott (malahide)

Jenny Dahling: Jennifer Aldridge (trad., anon.)

jessebel: Jess; from Jezebel. (irene1)

Jigiot: Justin Elliott (AFrend)

John Toboggan: John Tregorran

Johnny Come Lately: Johnny (Rich) Phillips

Joke: Jack Archer (Aisling)

JR: Johnny (Rich) Phillips

Junior Meerkat: Rosa, daughter of Elona Makepeace (trad., anon.)

JusDim: Justin Elliott (Sturmey Archer)

Justin Dickhead: Justin Elliott (lsd25)

Justan Idiot: Justin Elliott (TUNA)

Just A Nitwit: Justin Elliott (joe)

Justinandout: Justin Elliott

just in Birmingham: explanation for a vanished character, as Roy told Rex about Mike (villageschoolmaam)

Justin Timberbrain: Justin Elliott (Foamrubberperson)

Justsenile: Justin Elliott (Zunky)

kaboom; dekaboom: make a mistake in the reply box so that the whole of a correspondence shows in the thread instead of just one's own post; edit to correct this (sometimes done by appeal to the moderators)

KAS: Kenton Appreciation Society (trad., anon.)

Kate Madasahatter: Kate Madikane (Zunky)

kennedys, the: Toby and Rex Fairbrother (irene)

ketchup: the 'catch-up' or daily synopsis (trad., anon.)

kewl: cool (trad., anon.)

Knob, Knobber: Rob Titchener (see Titchynob)

Knobdad the Bad: Bruce Titchener (Steve green)

Knobdemort: Rob Titchener (Eliza Bennet)

Korn Krake, the: Kate Madikane (Sturmey Archer)

Krake: Kate Madikane (…as in Corn Crake) (Sturmey Archer)

Krakey: Kate Madikane (…as in Wot Krakey Did) (Sturmey Archer)

Krusty: Kirsty Miller (trad., anon.)

LA: listen again (trad., anon.)

La Beetle: Vanessa Whitburn

Lady Macvet: Alisha Jayakody (Zunky)

Lady of Shallot, the: Helen Titchener (Zunky)

Lame: Leonie and James (barwick_green)

Lard Bro's, the: Toby and Rex Fairbrother (wynkyn de worde?)

Lardy boys, the: Rex and Toby Fairbrother (eljay)

Las Sewers Horreux: Les Soeurs Heureuses (Broken Arrow)

La Teeth: Justin's friend Latif (I think several people thought of this one at the same time)

Latté: Justin's friend Latif (JPBS)

Lazy Scissors: Les Soeurs Heureuses, the caff in Borchester (can't believe I utter)

Lazy Stick, the: Helen Titchener

leg humping, humping his leg: the well-trained Pat's enthusiastic reaction to Rob being even more than usually Manly (ProphetTenebrae)

Lemon Drivel: Lemon Drizzle Cake and by extension the way in which Jill goes on and on while delivering food in the fields or cowshed

Le Rob Soleil: Rob Titchener, the Sun-Rob (Zunky)

Les Freres Miseres: Ian's new restaurant (pharaoh hound)

Lesser Horrors: Les Soeurs Heureuses, the caff in Borchester (Gus)

Les SewersRUs: Les Soeurs Heureuses, the caff in Borchester (JustJanie)

Lidiot: Lilian Bellamy and Justin Elliott (jezzer)

Lilo- Lil and Limpet: Lilian Bellamy and Justin Elliott (gossipknightley)

Lilsinit(forthemoney): Lillian Bellamy and Justin Elliot (catvirago) 

Little Miss Cheaty-Pants: Anisha Jayakody (Armitage Shanks)

Little Saint Nic: Nic Grundy (Zunky's family)

Lizard, The: Elizabeth Pargetter (name given to her by Tim Beecham on air)

Lizardbreath: Elizabeth Pargetter (trad., anon.)

LL: Lower Loxley (trad., anon.)

Lobotommy: NuTom in the wake of his seeming mindwipe over the non wedding that led him to propose again to Kirsty (Zunky's Son)

Lockejaw: Dr Richard Locke (Marshy)

Lord Lichplank: PC Harrison Burns in Photographer mode (joe)

Lord of the Sties: Tom Archer (Jazzer, on air)

Lord [O']Scorne: Sean O'Connor (Snarklehound)

Los Desaparecidos de Ambridge: characters who haven't spoken for months or years, as for instance Kathy and Jamie in December 2016 (villageschoolmaam)

Lucky Knickers: have strange powers for getting people jobs, new houses and other things. They don't deal in love, but will be worn on request by their owner (trad., anon.)

Ludicrous Lexicon: Lexi Viktorova (rosietonthemove)

Lurpak-Legs: Pip Archer (dipblodocus)

Lustin: Justin Elliott (Carriecat)

Lyndaaaahling: Lynda Snell in Her "Professional Actor" hat (Wurzel)

Lyndibots: Robert Snell's pet name for his wife was Lyndibottom (trad., anon.)

mAdam: Adam Macy (trad., anon.)

Madam Whiplash: Peggy Woolley (trad., anon.)

Madame Woolleybrain: Peggy Woolley (rosiet)

Mad Controller, the: Ian Craig (Capricorn)

Maestro: Henry Archer — because his voice sounds like the one in a 1984 Austin Maestro (Snarklehound)

Maisy Dadger: Pip Archer as played by Daisy Badger (ArnaldAlmaric)

mAlice: Alice Carter (trad., anon.)

Man and Stuporman: Ian Craig and Adam Macy (dpbc)

Mange Farm: Grange Farm (Snarklehound)

Mankwold: rude name for Borsetshire Blue (Helen's cheese)with w and M being interchanged (Dusty Substances)

MAOFTL, the: The most annoying option for the listener (steenbok & villageschoolmaam)

Mark 'how's my driving' Hebden: Mark Hebden (trad., anon.)

Martyn Gibson Mousefart Ending™: the fizzle at the end of the story about Martyn Gibson's constructive dismissal of Kathy from the Golf Club (steenbok)

Mattiavelli: Matt Crawford (gossipknightley)

mayo: the list of threads on a board, in one mode a delightful mayonnaise colour (trad., anon.)

MBR: Mind Blowing Rape; what we assume happened to Helen on 27th August 2015 (Snarklehound)

MBS: mind-blowing sex, according to Helen when she told Kirsty what she got from Rob (Snarklehound)

Meerkat, the: Elona Makepeace (trad., anon.)

Meerkat Mansion: 3, The Green, where the Meercats lived (trad., anon.)

meet: Mustardlanders' get-together. (trad., anon.)

Me-Randa: Miranda Elliott (Wynkyn de Worde)

minibus: the Sunday morning omnibus edition of The Archers (trad., anon.)

Miss Fragile-but-Stabby: Helen Archer (dpbc)

Miss Nuvet: Alisha Jayakody (Dave)

MiWrathda: Miranda Elliott (ProphetTenebrae)

ML Mustardland

MLers: people who inhabit Mustardland, i.e. us

MMM: Me Moom's Money, Ruth's inheritance from Heather (Chris Ghoti)

modding: removing from the boards by the moderators, messages which have broken one of the House rules (trad., anon.)

Moany: Tony (trad., anon.)

moddable: used instead of a word which the moderators would remove; all-purpose swearword (Chris Ghoti)

Modom and Begorrah: Adam Macy and Ian Craig (BBCB trad., anon; remembered by Gus)

mods, the: the moderators. The volunteers who keep order in Peets.

Modsquad, the: the mods

moist cephalopod: damp squid (trad., anon.)

moist cuttlefish: see "damp squid" (QuietFlowstheAm)

Mogadon Man: Adam Macy (gus)

monotom: Tom Archer (EulersIdentity)

monotomic: William Troughton's delivery as Tom Archer (EulersIdentity)

Monsieur Floppy: Toby Fairbrother (Sredni Vashtar)

Moody and Broody: Adam and Ian (trad., anon.)

Moo-Gate: the release of the Brookfield cattle into the wild in 2017 (charmingAnnielynn)

Moolag, the: Berrow Farm megdairy (Snarklehound)

Moschatel: Susan Carter informally (eljay)

Mr Teflon: Rob Titchener (Coronach)

Mr Fourth Northern Accent: Matt Holman (Tuna Tuxedo)

multishirking: managing to avoid doing many important tasks by visiting Peets (trad., anon.)

Mrs Meerkat: Elona Makepeace (trad., anon.)

Ms Botcher: Daisy Badger (joe)

Mustardland: the Archers message boards

muster: a meet (trad., anon.)

Myson: Ruari Donovan (Brian said "but he's my son!") (trad., anon.)

nano talk: small talk such as PipSqueak/OneOfTheFairBros dialogue (Sturmey Archer) 

N&Q: Notes & Queries

napkins: subject of a long thread after Ruth used paper ones for a dinner party (trad., anon.)

Neds: unresolved loose ends (B Yonda)

Neiiiuuul: Neil Carter (Sturmey Archer)

newbie: a new poster (trad., anon.)

New Huw: Huw Kennair-Jones, the editor announced in 2016 (Ambridge Forever Frittering)

NFA: Normal For Ambridge (trad., anon.)

Niffer: Mrs Brian Aldridge (trad., anon.)

Niggle: Nigel Pargetter (trad, anon.)

Nob, Nobber: Rob Titchener (see Titchynob)

Nobby Winklemann: the oberleutnant of Cowditz, Rob Titchener (wynkyn de worde)

Noblet, the: Ethan Titchener

No-can-do: Noluthando Madikane (can't believe I utter)

Noli-Me-Tangere: Noluthando Madikane (Ron Bacardi)

NoliTantrum: Noluthando Madikane (Roxette)

Nolle tandem: Noluthando Madikane (binocular) 

Nolli prosequi: Noluthando Madikane (dipblodocus)

Northern Powerhouse, the: Matthew Holman (Toby Fairbrother)

Nothingtodo: Noluthando Madikane (The Green Man)

not in a marshmallow frame of mind: disinclined to be cheered up with trivial things like sweeties (Adam in The Archers, 14/10/2016)

Noxious Nols: Noluthando Madikane (pharoah hound)

NuPip: Pip as voiced by the new actor Daisy Badger

NuTom: Tom as voiced by the new actor William Troughton

OAM: Old Abandoned Mineshaft (Quatermass)

O'Connorism: lie (Chris Ghoti)

OH or oh: other half (trad., anon.)

Oily: Oliver Sterling (rosiet)

O'KonkerBrain: Sean O'Connor (Sturmey Archer)

OML: Old MustardLand, the BBC board, closed on 25th February 2013

OP: original/opening post (the first post in a thread) (trad., anon.)

OSM: oozing sex mode (Jolene, mostly) (Capricorn and Freda Fry (bloke))

Other Priapic One, The: Justin Elliott (Sturmey Archer) 

owl: an email; taken from Harry Potter (JK Rowling)

page 94: people who realise they are rambling or ranting may say 'cont. p94' (Private Eye)

Panettone: Pat and Tony Archer (gus)

pants, the: the panto (typo by Rachael Reynolds in Lowfield)

Parasite, The: Kate Madikane (shesings)

Paterwauling: when Pat Archer howls (Purple_Hay)

Pat hetic: Pat Archer (wildwomanwonga)

PC Burnsinhell: PC Harrison Burns (Lois)

PC Carpet Burns: PC Harrison Burns (Minihohum)

PC Harrassment Burns: PC Harrison Burns (anon.)

PC Perve: PC Harrison Burns (anon.)

PC Plank: Harrison Burns; out of Jackspeak, plank as an epithet for intractably obtuse individuals (Snarklehound)

PC Plankton: PC Harrison Burns (catvirago)

PC Shagpile: PC (Carpet) Burns (Fuzzypeg the hedgehog)

pedestal made for two, a: what is needed for Pip Archer and Toby Fairbrother (Curlew)

pedestal of twatishness, a: what is needed for Toby Fairbrother (Curlew)

Peepikins: Pip Archer (Quiet Flows the Am)

Peggy Bank, the: Peggy Woolley

Peggy the Wedge: Peggy Woolley, from her habit of trying to drive wedges between her children and their children (dipblodogus)

Peg the Pill: Peggy Woolley (rosiet)

Perforatee, The: Rob Titchener (MrsBeetle)

Petulant Pip: PipArcher (barwick_green)

Phil Spectre: the ghost of Phil Archer (Roxette)

Phlegmalot: Justin Elliott (anon.)

Phlegmeister, the: Wayne Tucson (anon.)

Phlegmy: Justin Elliott (anon.)

Phroebie: Phoebie Aldridge (dipblodocus)

Piggoi: Peggy Woolley (trad., anon.)

Piggy: Peggy Woolley (trad., anon., pointed out by Quatermass)

pigston: the new pig-unit at Berrow Farm (Tonkarav)

Pigsy: Neil Carter (Sturmey Archer)

pink hats: from the phrase "well, we can't all wear pink hats" as a colourful alternative to "let's agree to differ" (trad., anon.)

Pipal Infallibility: The doctrine which says Pip Archer can make no mistake (Shaun the Sheep)

Pipal Supremacy: the idea that Pip Archer is the ultimate authority on all things agricultural (Shaun the Sheep)

Pipfancier: Toby or Rex Fairbrother

Pipocrit, the: Pip Archer (ProphetTenebrae)

Piposterous: preposterous (gossipknightley)

Pipped-at-the-Post: Pip Archer (OscarWildesWit)

Pipplington: Pip Archer (Quiet Flows the Am)

Pip's Law the law by which being told on air by one villager that another villager has a characteristic such as wit, honesty, industry, beauty etc makes that the fact even though their behaviour on air indicates the contrary about them (Green Man)

PipSon: Pip as played by Daisy Badger

Pipspup: Pip Archer's putative child (Lou's Funny Mummy)

Pipsquawk: Pip Archer (trad., anon.)

Pipsqueak: Pip Archer (David Archer's nickname for her when she was a child)

Piptwit, the: Pip Archer (Tuff Tanya)

Pip 'where's me coos' Archer: Pip Archer (The Green Man)

Pip's World of Coos: "a magicale worlde of cow heaven" (catvirago, explained by ArnaldAlmaric)

Pipthetic: Pip Archer (rosiet)

Piptulance, a fit of: Pip Archer style petulance (ProphetTenebrae)

Piptulant child, the: Pip Archer in foot-stamping mode (ProphetTenebrae)

Plip: Pip Archer (rosietonthemove)

Plop: Pip Archer (Foamrubberperson)

Plott de Weiss Syndrome: what a character has when he or she behaves out of character to forward a plot; also, the condition of an entire storyline (spelling by joe)

plunking clot device: Clunking Plot Device (Aisling) 

POC: Christine Barford (rosiet)

poison dwarf, the: Ruth Archer

PolPat: Pat Archer (lost in the mists of time)

Pony: Pat and Tony Archer (trad. anon.)

Poop and Toper: Pip Archer and Toby Fairbrother (Coronach)

PoopSkwit: Pip Archer (Sturmey Archer)

Poopsquit: Pip Archer (trad., anon.)

Poor Old Christine: Christine Barford (rosiet)

pooter: computer (trad., anon.)

POPINOF: Pile Of Post It Notes On Floor (carrick-bend) https://c2.staticflickr.com/4/3080/2864030835_ba990c2046.jpg

Porkhurst: the new pig-unit at Berrow Farm ( Edgeley)

POT Poor Old Tony, Tony Archer (trad., anon.)

PPI: Pip's Protest of Innocence (The Green Man)

Prat: Pat Archer

premod: the state of new posters until they have proved they are not going to make (too much) trouble; the condition of those deemed by the moderators to have made (too much) trouble. If you are in premod your posts have to be passed by a moderator before they will appear on the board.

Priapic One, The: Brian Aldridge (Sturmey Archer)

prod-a-mod: use the catpee ! (trad., anon.)

PTSD: Pseudo-Topical Scriptwriting Deficiency (carrick-bend)

PTSD: Pernicious Titchener Stoat-Dance (steenbok)

PTT (Part Time Tony): Tony Archer played by David Troughton (Roxette)

Pup: Pip Archer (a typo by Chris Ghoti)

Pusscat: Matt Crawford's pet name for Lilian Bellamy

PWC: Pip's World of Coos

Queen of Hades, the: Helen Titchener/Archer, from Hellqueen (Broken Arrow)

Radio: Susan Carter, because she broadcasters gossip (trad., anon.)

Radio Carter: Susan Carter (trad., anon.)

Radio One: Susan Carter (trad., anon.)

Radio Two: Annette Turnerr (trad., anon.)

Rapelet, The: name for Helen's son (standard slang, apparently. Use forbidden by moderators)

raperaperapelet, the: Jack Archer (gus; use forbidden by moderators)

Ravioli and Samphire: the llamas Constanza and Salieri (majorclanger)

RFIK: Random Fact Implying Knowledge (B Yonda)

RL: real life, something that occasionally gets in the way of ML (trad., anon.)

Robalurks: lurking behaviour by Rob Titchener (Fullon Antiques)

Robastalks: stalking behaviour by Rob Titchener (Fullon Antiques)

Rob Bag the Bad: Rob Titchener (Walter Gabriel's Ghost)

Robber, the: Rob Titchener (Mrs Perkins)

Robbore: Rob Titchener (annakist)

Robby-the-Runt: Rob Titchener (OscarWildesWit)

Robert the Brute: Rob Titchener (Steve green)

ROBespierre: Rob Titchener (as in Reign of Terror and Cult of the Supreme Being) (Zunky)

robfleshbloblet, the: Jack Archer (gus)

Robfuscate: what Rob Titchener does to prevent people noticing what he is up to (PhyllisDoris)

Robfuscator: Rob Titchener (Zunky)

Robgnostics: Those in Ambridge who are undecided whether Rob Titchener is a good thing or a bad one (ScruffsBone)

Robgoblin, the: Rob Titchener's expected child by Helen (villageschoolmaam)

Robhypnol: what Rob uses to get women in The Archers to say things they should not (Gnome de Plume crossing for Peet)

Roblem, the: Rob Titchener (steenbok)

Roblet, the: Helen's potential Titchener baby (joe)

Roblin King, The: Rob Titchener (Shaun the Sheep)

Robnoxious: what Rob Titchener is (mikedotneil)

Robochef: Rob Titchener (He chops, he minces, he mashes and...bastes!) (Zunky)

Robostomy: Rob Titchener (Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells)

Robotics: What we, or the SWs, are all doing when we discuss Rob Titchener (DracsM1)

Robotomy: the personality change some characters (particularly Pat) have had in relation to Rob (catvirago)

Robsputin: Rob Titchener (Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells)

(R)obstacles: things which get in Rob's way and have to be removed (ProphetTenebrae)

Robster, the: Rob Titchener (comebackmattcrauford)

Robulation: a portmanteau word, Rob + jubilation/adulation, for the general attitude to Rob (AFrend)

robuloathe: Rob Tichener The analogy is with "spudulike" (irene)

Rota Boy: Roy Tucker (trad., anon.)

Roy of the Racists: Roy Tucker (trad., anon.)

Roy of the Rotas: Roy Tucker (trad., anon.)

Roulette Vet, The: Alistair Lloyd (Foamrubberperson)

Runspellable: Ruairi Donovan (trad., anon.)

SATTC: shaking Ambridge To The Core: a reference to The Archers' 60th anniversary storyline (originally from a BBC press release http://www.bbc.co.uk/pressoffice/pressreleases/stories/2010/05_may/27/sopps.shtml )

Sacha Torte, the: Sasha Locke (Roxette)

Sacwed Gwandchild: Henry Archer (Gus)

sAdam: Adam Macy in misery mode (Broken Arrow)

Saint Pip: Philippa Archer

SAPS: Sudden Accelerated Plot Syndrome (compassrose)

SATTC — Shake Ambridge To The Core: what throwing Nigel off the roof was supposed to do, according to the advance publicity from the BBC. - It didn't.

SBM: Shop Bought Muck — from what Rob Titchener said about custard (Snarklehound)

SCC: Seamless Character Changes (Aristotle O'Flanagan)

Scorn: Sean O'Connor (B. Yonda?)

scriptease: what the editorial team and scriptwriters are doing in the Rob/Helen storyline (MissPica)

scriptwittering: poor, ill-thought-through scriptwriting (Arnald Almaric)

Scunner O'Connor, The: Sean O'Connor (gus)

Sean O'Chuck Up: Sean O'Connor (ArnaldAlmaric)

Sean O'Conflict: Sean O'Connor (Redwick)

Sean O'Control: Sean O'Connor (Steve green)

Sean the Sheep: Sean O'Connor (Lady M?)

Sexy: Lexi Viktorova (rosiet)

Sherrins: unresolved loose ends (B Yonda)

"s/he's not dead, s/he's just in Birmingham": explanation for a vanished character, as Roy told Rex about Mike (villageschoolmaam)

Shornock Honor: Sean O'Connor (Flageolet Bean)

Shorn O'Competence, Shorn: Sean O'Connor (joe)

Shrewla: Shula Hebden Lloyd (ProphetTenebrae)

SLIPS — Story Line Induced Personality Syndrome: A condition wherein a character suddenly displays behaviours contrary to normal that is brought about by the Script Writers purely for the sake of introducing an Issue (Coronach)

Shovehorn: Siobhan Hathaway (now Donovan, RIP) (trad., anon.)

Shrewsun: Susan Carter (Sturmey Archer)

SHTTC: Shake Helen To The Core (Jarlene Whiplash)

Shula-burning: see wicker heifers

skipfuls: see cyber-drinks

SL: story line, as provided by the editorial team (trad., anon.)

SLG: Spotty Little Gobshite - Josh Archer (Gus)

Slime: Sam Batten (trad., anon.)

Slime Ball, the: Rob Titchener (Mrs Perkins)

Slough of Socspond: what The Archers is now wallowing in (DracsM1)

SLT — Snarty Little Twonk: Tom Archer (Dusty Substances)

Slug, The: Roy Tucker (refers to his negative charisma) (steenbok)

Smarmy Trekkers, The: Toby and Rex Fairbrother (Jane Townie)

Sneeze, the: Anisha Jayakody (Foamrubberperson)

SnellPiffle: what Lynda Snell utters (Sturmey Archer)

Snitchyrob: Rob Titchener (MidgetGemII)

snork: when something you read is so funny that you splutter (or nearly splutter) your lunch/coffee/false teeth across the screen and keyboard (trad., anon.)

Snyff: Lynda Snell sniff (Chris Ghoti)

Sob: Rob Titchener, who cries to order (JPBS) and as a S.O.B. (joe)

SOC: Story Over Character (joe, inspired by "SCC")

Sock, The Sock: Sean O'Connor

Socko: Sean O'Connor (Lackadaisy?)

socks, sox: euphemisms used back when "sex" was a word banned on the BBC board. Nowadays we can mention sex as much as we like, but some people still prefer the euphemism, while others deplore it (trad., anon.)

soco: Sean O'Connor (irene)

SOCophants: people who will hear/accept no wrong of Sean O'Connor (joe)

Soddem and Begorrah: Adam Macy and Ian Craig (trad., anon.)

soggy octopus: see "damp squid" (Broken Arrow)

soup: "It's only soup, I'm afraid" is the alternative to Grabba Sandwich (trad., anon.)

Sour Sisters, the: Miriam and Lulu Duxford (rosiet)

Sowcatraz: the new pig-unit at Berrow Farm (Snarklehound)

Sowditz: the proposed intensive pig unit at Berrow Farm (malahide)

Sow Quentin: the new pig-unit at Berrow Farm (Nelson_G)

Spare Mousie: Ruairi's spare comfort toy in case anything should happen to Mousie (trad., anon.)

Sphagnum Phil: Philip Moss (Roxette)

Sponge Farm: Bridge Farm (full of spongers, sops up misery) (Edgeley)

spoons: mentions of spoons or offers of wine gums are troll warnings (trad., anon.)

SPSK: Tom Archer ....Self-Pitying-Sossage-King (Broken Arrow)

Square Peg: Peggy Woolley (Zunky)

Squire Aldridge: Brian Aldridge (Sturmey Archer)

Squire Archer:David Archer (pahnda)

Squonk, the: Helen Titchener (The Green Man)

Stab Night, Stab Day: Sunday 3rd April 2016 (which was on Monday 4th according to the editor/script later that week)

Stabby and Grabby: Helen and Tom Archer (barwick_green)

stammering Cherokee, the: person brought into The Archers to help fill a minority quota (Used2B)

stoat dancing: what Rob does to fascinate his victims (steenbok)

St Pip:Philippa Archer

Strange Farm: Grange Farm (AFrend)

StS: Sean O'Connor (Lady M?) NB: StS may also be St Shula

St Shools: Shula Archer (trad., anon.)

St Shuggs: Shula Hebden Lloyd

Styal: the new pig Gulag (Edgeley)

Stylag: the new pig-unit at Berrow Farm (Tonkarav)

Superpeg: Peggy Woolley (Edgeley)

Superpip: Philippa Archer

Supersmarmysmugaliciousextrasnarkytrocious: Tom and Helen Archer (conceived by can't believe I utter, polished by Lilian's Twin)

SW: scriptwriter

Swamnesia: Scriptwriter Amnesia, forgetting things which happened more than a week ago (Snarklehound)

SWNI: Script Writing Nest of Idiots (dipblodocus)

Swiss army lawyer, the: Usha Franks (ProphetTenebrae)

Sydney: a land-travelling piranha with lots and lots of small sharp teeth, ally of Chris Ghoti

TA: The Archers

TAE: The Archers Encyclopedia

TanK: the offspring of Tom and Kirsty (charmbrights)

TB: The Bull (forum)

TB: Timothy Bentinck, who plays David Archer (trad., anon.)

TBOTA: The Book of The Archers

TBTB: The Buggers That Be, caused by a typo for The Powers That Be by Gus (hiya loxley)

TBU: The Bull Upstairs (forum)

TC; The Thin Controller: Helen Titchener (trad., anon., pointed out by eljay)

Terrible Toby and Reliable Rex: the way to tell the Fairbrothers apart (Roxette)

Terrible Twits, the: Rex and Toby Fairbrother (Mister Legs)

Tesburys, Sainsbos, Toxics: supermarkets (trad., anon.)

TFW: That Fisher Woman, Janet Fisher, previous VOA (trad., anon.)

Theo Gambit, the: particular sort of plot cop-out. A character mentioned only in order to be the villain after a long-term character has been suspected. Theo was Alistair's partner who sold ketamine from the veterinary practice, and in 2002 Alistair was thought to have done so. (trad., anon.)

therapist, the: Rob Titchener with a missing space between words (anon.)

Thick Controller, the: Pip Archer (Broken Arrow)

Thin Controller: Helen Archer (trad., anon.)

Third Degree Burns: PC Harrison Burns (borchesterbouncer)

Thrustin' Jellytot: Justin Elliott (steenbok)

Tompkins: Tom Archer (ProphetTenebrae)

Tiger and Pusscat: Matt Crawford and Lillian Bellamy (trad., anon.)

Time Order: looking at the latest posts from all threads on a board, rather than reading them at the end of each thread. Reached by clicking on "latest posts" next to the name of the forum in the forum index.

tin hat: what you put on you suspect will need one after a post (trad., anon.)

Tipyard Cottage: Rickyard Cottage (felix the cat)

Tit, The: Rob Titchener (rosiet)

Titbum Shitehawk: Tristram Hawkshaw (joe)

Titchy and Bitchy: Rob and Ursula Titchener (Dun Diggin/cherrytree)

Titchynob: Rob Titchener (Dusty Substances)

Titchynob and Bitchysnob: Rob and Ursula Titchener (Dun Diggin)

TobeRag: Toby Fairbrother (Lynne C Doyle)

Toboggan: Carol Tregorran

tobanicals: plants when stolen by Toby Fairbrother (Marsh Gibbon)

Tobanist, the: Toby Fairbrother in his Botanicals hat (Marsh Gibbon)

tobemeister, the: Toby Fairbrother (Fuzzypeg the hedgehog - a tribute to American Pie's the Stifmeister)

Tobenwrecks: Toby and Rex Fairbrother (strokecitydave)

Toblerone: Toby Fairbrother (Aisling)

Toby Dick: Tony Fairbrother (binocular)

Tobying: lying (catvirago)

Toby Jug: Toby Fairbrother (OscarWildesWit)

toby or not toby: Rex and Toby Fairbrother (irene1)

Toby-the-Loafer: Toby Fairbrother (OscarWildesWit)

Toecurl: Toby Fairbrother (TUNA)

toerag: Toby Fairbrother (anon.)

TOG: TheOldGrundgie; Joe Grundy (Sturmey Archer)

Tomentity: Tom Archer as portrayed by William Troughton (Snarklehound)

Tomnonentity: Tom Archer Mark II (Purple_Hay)

Tosh: Josh Archer (Broken Arrow) 

Toss Bros, the: Rex and Toby Fairbrother (rosiet)

Tovy, The Tove: Toby Fairbrother — The Tove is undoubtedly very slithy (Letty Cartwright typo, spotted by Baggy n' Snatch)

trape: inspired typo for tripe (barwick_green)

Trebog-roll: any Tregorran (Sturmey Archer)

T-Rex: Toby and Rex Fairbrother

Trex: Toby and Rex Fairbrother (RosieT)

Trexit: what we wish for the Fairbrothers (eljay)

tropical insect: topical insert (joe)

tropical inserts: these happen when something relevant to Real Life (OMT) is inserted in a last-minute recording session just before an episode is aired, as for instance when the Queen Mother died. The BBC boringly calls them topical inserts. (trad., anon.)

TTAAI: Treating The Audience As Idiots (elizabeth church)

TTP: Taking The Pee (Purple_Hay)

TTYLIML: The Things You Learn In Mustardland (trad., anon.)

TVH: The Village Hall (forum)

TVOA: The vicar of Ambridge (trad., anon.)

Tweedie One, The: Sean O'Connor (Foamrubberperson)

Twittinobs, the: Helen and Rob Titchener (Flageolet Bean)

Twrecks: Toby and Rex Fairbrother (catvirago)

TWSOE: The Wrong Sort Of Editor (Chris Ghoti)

TWSOL: The Wrong Sort Of Listener (Dusty Substances?)

Tyson Titchener: Rob Titchener (Fullon Antiques)

UCE: Unconvincing/Unbelievable Continuity Error (carrick-bend)

UMRA (UK/Media/Radio/Archers): the first online discussion group for TA, long before the BBC got involved in this internet business. Some of the links listed at www.umra.freeuk.com do still work.

undiscover'd country, the: Birmingham (William Shakespeare, Hamlet -- not about Birmingham! -- quoted by Joe K)

Unspellable One, the: Ruairi Donovan (trad., anon.)

Unwelcome Matt: to be put out by Dopey Dearest on the day that Pip announces that it is curtains for her unconvincing relationship with Mr Fourth Northern Accent (Tuna Tuxedo)

Ursual: Ursula Titchener (I'm sticking with Ursual, now, because that's what I always seem to type, and I'm getting sick of correcting it — Joe K)

Ursulator, the: Ursula Titchener (designerwelly's OH)

Ursuloathe: Ursula Titchener (irene)

Vaccuum, the: Henry Archer (Red Mug)

"VanBlessa": Vanessa Whitburn (after she said "the listeners, bless them" in an interview)

Vanisha: Anisha Jayakody (This Harming Man)

vermiform appendix, the: Toby Fairbrother (joe)

Vicar of Nibbly, the: Alan Franks (Ron Bacardi)

village of the dumbed, the: Ambridge, since nobody can speak about Rob (French Marigold)

voicy likeys: those male characters introduced into The Archers since 2013 whose voices are well-nigh impossible to tell apart (DanzacRose)

Violent Elizabeth: Elizabeth Pargetter (trad., anon.) 

Vowelstrangler, the: Daisy Badger as Pip Archer (ArnaldAlmaric)

VW: Vanessa Whitburn, editor of The Archers between June 1991 and May 2013

WAINS: Why Am I Not Surprised (Chris Ghoti) 

WAINSS: Why Am I Not Surprised Susu (Susu's response)

WAYNS: Why Are You Not Surprised (Chris Ghoti)

Werebaker, the: Jill Archer ("I can see it now. Backlit by the moon a figure appears climbing over a wall. The figure leans back over and places a plant holder on castors (marked 'orangery. Do not remove') next to her and ties a length of washing line to it. One more rummage behind the wall and a le crueset is placed lovingly on the pot holder. The figure sniffs the air, spins to the right and mutters 'home, must walk' and sets off tugging her strange cargo jerkily behind her. Soon, it is just the moonlight and a plaintive hooting." poshscouse)

werejill (see Werebaker): Jill Archer (irene)

weskly: weak, unco-ordinated, unsure what you are doing, having mild hallucinations; common result of having drink taken, or failed to eat for several days (Armitage Shanks; a typo for weekly, explained by Chris Ghoti)

"What are you doing here?": used with a full name to introduce a character into a scene. As Joe says, "Shula Archer, what are you doing here?" Similarly "Isn't that X over there talking to Y?" is used to suggest more characters present than are voiced.

"What brings you here?" see "What are you doing here?"

wicker heifer: On Valentine's night, 2006, posters met to burn an effigy of Shula, or Shula in an effigy (trad., anon.)

wickering: disposing of a character by burning them in (an) effigy (trad., anon.)

Widdleon: Jack Archer (Snarklehound)

Widow Plasterer, the: Elizabeth Pargetter (Steve green)

Wiener Baron: Tom Archer (trad., anon.)

Willy Farm: Willow Farm with Roy in residence (Aisling)

Windy Miller: Kirsty Miller (gus)

wine gums see spoons

Witchy and Titchy: Ursula Titcheder and Rob Titchener (Fullon Antiques)

WOE: Whim Of Editor (Chris Ghoti)

Wooden Bums: PC Harrison Burns (rosiet)

Woodencop: PC Harrison Burns

Woodentop: PC Harrison Burns

wailfest: what anyone in The Archers, and in particular at Bridge Farm, has if they are upset at all about anything (Miss Frog)

worat: a wrod which evolved over time into a vicious, fanged rodent, which some long-standing posters still occasionally blame for bad things which happen in real life (I expect the worst.) LadyM has one. Be afraid. (trad., anon.)

Wor Roothie: Ruth Archer (trad., anon.)

Worsula/Wursula: Ursula Titchener (Foamrubberperson )

WR: Wor Roothie, Ruth Archer (trad., anon.)

Wrecked and Floppy: Rex and Toby Fairbrother (Edgeley)

Wrecks: Rex Fairbrother (TUNA)

wrods: accepted typing errors given meanings (trad., anon.)

Yawnington Crescent!: exclamation for use when Rob is introduced into the conversation (Flageolet Bean)

YCHIBW: You Can't Have It Both Ways — comment on Pat's position regarding Rob (carrick-bend)

Ye Maggikal (Magickal) Babe: Henry Archer (Ms Mumbo-Jumbo)

YL-DT: Pip Archer (Broken Arrow) (see yodelling loose-drawered twit)

YMBY: You Mustn't Blame Yourself -- said to Helen when she is to blame (trad., anon.)

Yodelcoward, the: Pip Archer (Tuna)

yodelling loose-drawered twit: Pip Archer (Tuna Tuxedo)

YodelPip: Pip Archer (Redwick)

Yoko: Ruth Archer (Oooooohhhh Noooooo!) (Sturmey Archer)

You Mustn't Blame Yourself: said to Helen when she is to blame (trad., anon.)





More information from Ambridge | Ambridge Reporter Discussion Forum