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Sunday 1st January, 2023

Elizabeth can't make her mind up, and the most convoluted proposal ever is made.

Characters: Tracy, Jazzer, Kenton, Elizabeth, Chelsea, Brad
Credited scriptwriter: Sarah Hehir
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Midnight strikes at The Bull, and neither Tracy nor Jazzer does any proposing; Kenton for some reason gets onto a public address system to thank his customers for being there and to encourage them to link arms in Auld Lang Syne. The place goes silent while Jazzer and Tracy chat, then Tracy hails Elizabeth and offers her arm in the dance.

Later Kenton and Elizabeth are catching up about what David has had to say about his troubles. She doesn't have Vince with her, and didn't want him to be; she isn't sure why she hasn't given them both a clean break, except that he has given her a hand-made bowl he painted himself and that has reminded her how sweet and thoughtful he can be. On the other hand David and Ruth are effectively shunning her, David outright hates Vince, and she doesn't really seem to understand why, although she claims to; Kenton doesn't tell her, just suggests that she either dump Vince or make it clear to him that that any olive-branch held out to her has to be extended to David and Ruth as well.

Outside, watching the fireworks, Brad and Chelsea discuss her not wanting to go elsewhere to be with her mates, but instead to stay in Ambridge with her family; Chelsea suddenly announces that they have ruined Mum and Jazzer's lives by sticking their oars in. She saw Tracy and Jazzer dancing; Tracy was doing something like a cross between the Highland Fling and a Charleston and Jazzer was clearly adoring her in spite of it. As Brad mourns not having had another salmon thingy, Tracy appears and says hello to her beautiful brilliant New Year's bunnies, which makes Chelsea say bunnies are at Easter and Brad say that actually it's the Chinese Year of the Rabbit so New Year's Bunnies could be a thing. Tracy is having none of that, and declares it to be the Year of the Horrobins. [Please, no. Just no. Chris]

As Elizabeth commiserates with Kenton for having her and David each chewing his ear off in one weekend, and he says that's his job, to pull pints and listen to people's problems, Jazzer comes over and asks after Vince. He is told that Neil and Susan won the hamper in the raffle, and then that it's nice Brad and Chelsea have come out with him and Tracy to The Bull: Elizabeth's children are in Felpersham and understandably did not want to be in The Bull seeing in the New Year with her. Jazzer goes off again to try to find Tracy and give her a glass of punch, and Kenton asks what Freddie and Lily think about the whole business with Vince; they haven't said a lot but Elizabeth knows they weren't impressed with his behaviour. She is wearing the brooch Nigel gave her just before he died twelve years ago and can't help comparing Nigel and Vince: they are like chalk and cheese. When did everything get so complicated? She can't keep avoiding Vince! She is advised by Kenton the Universal Agony Uncle to find time to sit down with Vince and thrash things out. For now, though. she needs get down to some serious celebrating. He drags her off to dance.

As they go into the bar the microphone is grabbed by Chelsea, who says she wants to make an announcement. She, and Brad, made a mistake, and now they're going to unmake it. She is hopelessly embarrassed and stumbling on about Tracy and her boyfriend, so Brad takes over and marks time about the couple deserving all the best in life until Chelsea has gathered her wits a bit, then Chelsea asks Jazzer if he will do the honours of marrying 'our Mum', and Brad asks Tracy if she'll make an honest man of Jazzer. Tracy and Jazzer haver and stammer for so long that Kenton demands to know if he ought to open the champagne or not. Then the couple propose to each other, and each says yes, to the sound of loud cheers from the rest of the cast.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 2nd January, 2023

Susan's nose it out of joint, and Stella's too.

Characters: Brian, Stella, Ruth, Susan, Tracy
Credited scriptwriter: Sarah Hehir
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Out and about at Home Farm, Brian wishes Stella a Happy New Year and asks about New Year at The Bull; she tells him about the proposal, which surprises him a little. She invites him to walk with her to the trailer and asks him if he'll have time to go through her report for the BL Board with her; he says he will pop over to the office in the afternoon, to which she agrees. She mentions robots surveying where they should be using chemicals, with which Brian is completely in agreement: Justin is in favour of cutting costs. Then she mentions the Tech conference, the Farm Technology Show in Manchester, to which she is going for two days next week; Brian thinks that isn't a good idea straight after Christmas and he'd appreciate it if she ran things like that by him first. She is surprised to learn he thinks she shouldn't be going. In any case, she is the farm manager and he hired her to make these decisions. He thinks that her attention should be on the farm; she tells him that these shows are essential, as he must know, to which he replies that he has said what he thinks, and reiterates that he would appreciate it if next time, she'd run it past him first.

Susan was babysitting Martha at New Year so that Alice and Chris could go on separate nights out; Ruth tells her about the proposal, which is news to her. Tracy then comes into the shop, and Susan is short with her about not having been told Tracy's news, even in a text; Tracy says that was because she wanted to tell her in person, and then that Chelsea was the one who did the proposing: that both of them had been planning to propose but it got into a muddle so Chelsea dived in. Susan is offended all over again that she was not told about Tracy's plan. Ruth is happy to talk about the news, but Susan is not. Tracy would like to show her more photos, but Susan snubs her by simply telling Ruth that will be eight pounds thirty please; Ruth, also snubbed, leaves, whereupon Susan pours cold water on Tracy by saying it was just as well Will wasn't there: New Year's Day is Will's wedding anniversary and the whole thing might have been seen as being in very poor taste.

The Brookfield cowshed is the scene of Ruth congratulating Stella on her dancing at The Bull. Stella has come ostensibly to return the old moisture meter she had borrowed but in fact to pick Ruth's brain about Brian Aldridge, whom she describes as having been irritable, indeed totally unreasonable; Ruth proceeds to bad-mouth him and tell Stella she is in the right to have stood her ground., and say that working with Brian must be a nightmare. She pulls back from talking about how Brian treated Adam, however, and tells Stella her advice would be to leave it to work itself out. Stella is not sure that was the answer she was looking for.

Presumably at Ambridge View, a fair walk from the village if Susan had happened not to be in, Tracy turns off the vacuum cleaner Susan is using: she wants five minutes with Susan, because they need to talk. She is upset because of Susan's attitude in the shop about the first good thing that has happened to Tracy and Jazzer for ages, and says Ruth didn't know where to look. Susan continues to be dismissive and unpleasant, suggesting that they had not thought it through before going in for the fun of a public display. Tracy points out they have been living together and are not starry-eyed teenagers, and lists the many things they have been through since they have been together; they love each other. Tracy wants Susan to be at least a bit happy for her, but Susan is grudging, wanting to know why she had to hear it from Ruth.

Brian is given the bum's rush when he comes to do what Stella had asked to and have a look at the report for BL: she hasn't got time for him. In spite of claiming she has to be somewhere else, she then reads him a lecture on her being the manager and tries to have that talk to him about his attitude being unreasonable and unprofessional, but as she is getting into her stride Jennifer rings him: he says he is sorry but he has to take this, Stella says 'What, now?' and he says 'Now' and leaves her in mid-complaint as he goes to do an errand for his wife before the shop closes.

Tracy has ended up apologising to Susan because Susan was not at The Bull, and offering her half the mini-bottle of Prosecco she has brought with her, but Susan just says she didn't expect her to come over and if she's honest, it's not really a good time. Tracy, who is now clearly starting to get fed up with her grudging sister, says that she gets it: somehow, Susan has managed to make it all about her. Talk about taking the shine off their lovely news. She'll see herself out.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 3rd January, 2023

Pip wants more out of life, Ben is happy with what he has, and Tracy is still miffed.

Characters: Pip, Lottie, Ben, Neil, Susan, Tracy
Credited scriptwriter: Sarah Hehir
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The meeting between Pip and her primary school chum Lottie, who is playing a new year's resolutions game with her and claiming to have resolved to do a comedy stand-up gig come summer. Ben arrives to chauffeur them to The Queen's Head in Borchester, and assures Pip he'll been fine doing the milking; Lottie wants to know how come Pip ended up with Ben for a brother while she ended up with the world's two most selfish idiots. Pip claims he's just showing off because Lottie is there.

Booking an extra day of holiday was a smart move, according to Neil, who is sitting by the fire with his feet up, but Susan is now feeling excessively guilty over not having sounded pleased and happy for Tracy; it's her own fault Tracy isn't answering her texts. When Neil says she and Tracy are always falling out, Susan tells him that she thinks that this time it's her fault; she was taken by surprise and didn't sound pleased or look happy for Tracy, because she wasn't: she felt left out. Neil scoffs at the idea and suggests she should just say she's sorry, explain what she just told him and then tell Tracy that she is over that now and she's happy for them both. Susan is silent, and he asks if there's something else: she admits she 'might have implied it was rushed' and asked whether Tracy had really thought about what she was letting herself in for, which didn't go down too well. She then says she's seen Tracy's heart broken before and she can't help worrying: she doesn't understand it but it's how she feels, unsettled. Neil argues against her, and she says it's just since Mum died, but she has always felt it was her job to look out for Tracy [really? She seemed to have nothing to do with her whatever during all the years Tracy was not living in Ambridge. Chris]; he suggests going and offering Tracy a big heart-felt apology, and says that he will drive her to The Bull so she can buy Tracy a drink during her break. Susan has a brainwave: they can take her the Underwoods hamper they won in the pub raffle as a peace-offering.

It seems that Pip's new year resolution is to eat a burger without getting ketchup, mayonnaise or relish on her top; Lottie points out that she has already failed to do that. When Lottie refuses to let her get away with something so minor, she produces a long list, which Lottie makes fun of; when pinned down she says she resolves to be more than just a list of jobs that go round in her head. She bets Lottie has meetings in power suits at her job, which is with an insurance broker. Pip thinks that totally glamorous, while she gets to put on her wellies every morning and see exactly no-one unless you count her family, which she doesn't. Lottie contrasts writing a spread-sheet with helping a cow give birth, and Pip produces a story about relocating the dislocated hip of a pregnant cow, with the lives of cow and calf depending on her getting it right; Lottie encourages her to have another pint.

Tracy doesn't want Susan's hamper, and she is not interested in Susan trying to buy her or treat her like a charity case. She wants to know why Susan behaved as she did, then when Susan's attempt at explanation is not coherent says that her break is nearly over and she will see Susan around, and goes away.

Children explaining to their parents about things their parents taught them in the first place is the new topic of conversation between Pip and Lottie; they get on to the names girl-children have for such bodily parts as the vagina and the vulva; Lottie and Madison use the 'proper' words, whereas Pip and Toby settled on noo-noo, which Lottie finds hilarious. Back on the new year resolutions, Pip should make more time for herself, and Lottie wants them to have more meals together, and Pip suggests she and Madison could come and test out the B&B: they could be their guinea-pigs. [As opposed to Leonard staying there some weeks ago, on 24th October, 2022. Chris]

Susan has hung about at The Bull and is trying without success to make her peace with Tracy; Neil coming over to try to help, doesn't. Tracy is still very put out indeed: she says bluntly that after the year she's had, she doesn't have the energy to micro manage Susan's reaction to what was frankly brilliant news. She stomps off, and Susan turns down Neil's offer to go after her: it's no use, she's really had enough of Susan.

The meal she and Lottie enjoyed together, burger, beer, chips and dessert, has left Pip too full to want any food, and Ben has fetched Rosie. Pip says how good it was to go out for a bit and talk properly with someone, and Ben says that Lottie seems nice. Then before he forgets he gives Pip Rosie's report card on her project (as made by Ben); it got three smiley faces and a star. She didn't want to share the glory with him, but she does want him to have the badge, which he will wear with pride. He reminds Pip that tomorrow Elena is planning a family call to talk to Ben's whole family without Ben present, which Pip feels he might find rather strange but he feels will be easier for them, since they can ask questions without worrying about his reactions. Elena has been brilliant, and he has really enjoyed today, just doing normal useful stuff again; Pip tells him her resolution is to do less of that, and have more fun. Ben responds laughingly that in that case he knows where to go if he wants relief from Brookfield drudgery: Rickyard Cottage, the party house.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 4th January, 2023

Ben is under discussion and Vince extends an olive branch.

Characters: Ruth, David, Pip, Vince, Elizabeth, Elena
Credited scriptwriter: Sarah Hehir
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The heating at Brookfield was turned on by Ruth, but David turned it off and opened a window because he thought it was stuffy. Ruth is busy sniping at David about this and other unrelated topics; Pip calls them to order and David thanks her for her intervention. Pip then praises Ben for doing the milking and collecting Rosie so that she and Lottie could squeeze in another pint, and Ruth immediately attacks her for happily getting drunk while her brother ran about after her: he's supposed to be taking it easy he's supposed to be resting. Ruth is clearly very much on edge, and she attacks Pip for asking Ben to do favours for her. When David tries to intervene she attacks him and forbids him to tell her to calm down. Ruth wants them to 'get their story straight' and the other two see no need for any such thing. Pip leaves, after an attempt at a joke which goes down like a lead balloon with Ruth.

A strong effort to butter up Elizabeth isn't getting Vince far. He knows that Elizabeth being busy was not the reason she wouldn't see him at Christmas or New Year. He talks wistfully of the morning she fetched him from the airport, before his bad behaviour round Ambridge later that day and that week; she tells him that it's hard to believe the Vince charging round Ambridge in a rage is the same Vince who makes her laugh at stupid jokes or is willing to sit with his ten-year-old daughter painting a pot for her. She loves the bowl he gave her for Christmas, which is probably the reason she is there and thinking about how on earth they can make this work. She is not prepared to commit herself to giving it another try, though.

Josh has backed out of the call with Elena, who wants to get started, and David has said that Jill is not to be there. Elena tells them that the idea is to keep them in the loop about what Ben's been going through and what his recover could look like, but first they should mention anything that is an immediate concern for them. As soon as David mentions Ben giving up his nursing course as an example of what might be of concern to them, Ruth jumps on him , even though Elena agrees with him that it is a legitimate concern; she attacks him about what she tells him is his version of helping Ben, and David defends himself as well as he can until elena suggests pausing for a moment and Pip tells her parents to listen to themselves and what they sound like. When Ruth has come to order a bit, and might be thinking about Ben rather than attacking David, Elena asks how Ruth she; she says worried, with no idea what is good for Ben and what isn't; Elena reads a section from a booklet to them over the computer. [She didn't say it was, but that was how it sounded. Chris] Ruth feels better as a result. Elena then returns to David's questions about Ben and his course.

Making small-talk, Vince tells Elizabeth that he is pleased that he is taking both Beth and Shelley out for a carvery on Sunday, but then goes back to how he is still interested in trying to make things up to Elizabeth; he doesn't want to lose her. Does he get another chance? She says that she too would like to go back to how it was. He promises not to be the man who attacked Ben, but she manages to see that all he has said is about her, nothing about the wrong he has done her family: even if she forgives him, she has to deal with the fact that her brother is furious with him, and she is stuck in the middle and can't handle it. She needs him to make peace with David and Ruth. Vince goes to ring Ruth and invite them out for a meal.

Ruth is busily blaming 'us' for not having done enough for Ben before they knew he was in mental trouble, and wants to know how they can stop it from happening again. She is worried that they couldn't stop it happening the first time and would be powerless to stop it from happening again. How do they know he hasn't gone back to a really dark place? It terrifies her. Elena reassures her that they will be much more aware of the early warning signs, and she will take some time during the session to go over his symptoms with them. avid thanks her, then wants to know what they should do if Ben has a relapse, another hallucinating incident: who do they contact, A&E, the doctor, the mental health team? Elena says they should just message the team. Ruth has seen stuff on the internet about triggers and wants to know whether working at the farm might be bad for Ben; Pip recounts what he did yesterday and that Ruth was worried it was too much for him, and Elena says that was fine. David asks about the medication and whether he will ever be able to come off the pills, and Elena says he will need them for at least a year, and the team can discuss them with him then; Ruth asks whether she should police him taking them or not and David seems to feel that while he was glad for them to check in the beginning, it is beginning to irritate him now, and Pip says he's a grown-up and they ought to trust him, with which Elena agrees. She reiterates that the family has already come a long way together, and should slowly be able to return to normal in the end.

In the kitchen later Ruth asks Pip how milking went and apologises to her for snapping in the morning; from what Elena said, Ben is probably relieved that Pip and Josh are treating him normally. David comes in and he and Ruth agree it went well and it was good; he also apologises for having been a bit off this morning, though to whom is not clear. He asks if there is any tea when he has finished the last of the outside work, and Ruth offers wine. Pip has a nice little congratulation to her about Ruth and Dad being nice to each other: Elena's a miracle worker. Ruth says there's just one dark cloud looming: she has had a voicemail from Vince Casey inviting her and David out for a meal on Friday. Good luck breaking that to Dad, says Pip.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 5th January, 2023

Brian and Stella are in cahoots, while Tracy is gradually placated.

Characters: Jazzer, Neil, Tracy, Brian, Stella, Susan
Credited scriptwriter: Sarah Hehir
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

A meal at Ambridge View has been proposed by Susan, and Neil has roped Jazzer in to help him persuade Tracy to come; he tells Jazzer that it is to be a hotpot. Jazzer is more concerned about the icy atmosphere than the food, but is open to bribery from Neil in the form of a pint and is still regretful about Tracy having refused the hamper, especially when Neil lists some of the things that were in it. However, when the idea is put to Tracy she refuses it point-blank even though Jazzer is clearly keen.

At Home Farm Brian is talking to Stella about the Secret Service having recently shown an interest in farming; James Bond noticing how critical farming is, says Brian, to which a preoccupied Stella only replies, 'About time.' She is a great deal more concerned with the report she has to give this afternoon to the BL board. They discuss the report, and such matters as nitrogen inputs and maize yield for the unit at Berrow. Brian suggests that they could make a move, and she mentions she plans to drop in information about new research into planting multispecies over-winter crops; it's all new thinking they need to embrace. There will be so many presentations and Q&As on all of this at the Farm Tech show, to give her more ammunition for the end-of-year meeting in April. When Brian asks if she is still planning on heading up to Manchester despite his misgivings, she replies brusquely, 'Yes, Brian. I am.'

Before the meal starts Neil is making a real effort at conversation about such things as the children being able to be out on their bikes every day in the mild weather; he offers Jazzer and Tracy drinks and both opt for the red wine that's already open. Susan is apparently changing her top upstairs, Jazzer is hungry, and Tracy is not at all happy to be there. Just after Neil has gone out to fetch their drinks and Tracy has begun to speak wistfully about a badly-cooked omelette at her own kitchen table as less likely to give her indigestion than having to thank Susan for a meal, with Jazzer reassuring her that if it's too bad they can leave straight after eating, Susan bustles in and starts to chatter nervously. Jazzer compliments her on her top, which she says was a Christmas present from Alice, and the two start to converse in a stilted if civil way; as Susan seems about to try to speak to her directly, Tracy gets up and goes out to the loo.

Nerves were to be expected among the Board members, but Stella wasn't expecting that level of anxiety, bordering on paranoia; Martyn was difficult, but nonetheless she made a good job of her presentation. Brian tells her it was entertaining to watch her getting them all dancing to her tune, and his hat is off to her. Stella once more returns to her theme tune of innovation being vital to survival, and mentions that Annabelle was vocal about the need for it; Stella almost thought she was going to offer to come to the Farm Tech show with her. Brian takes the opportunity to say he is sorry if she felt that he was unsupportive of her decision to go. Stella lets him know that she is not happy with his attitude, and points out that he questioned her authority as farm manager: she's not prepared to spend her time trying to second-guess how he will react to her decisions. He says he is sorry she felt like that, and she says that's OK as long as it is clear going forward that her decisions are respected. Of course, says Brian, obviously, and offers her another drink before they head home: she can tell him all about what she is looking forward to seeing at the Farm Tech show. She is suspicious this may be a joke.

At the uncomfortable meal Neil and Jazzer are talking about work, Jazzer with his mouth full, and Tracy and Susan are being silent until Susan suddenly interrupts and tells Neil that's enough of the Berrow talk. She then embarks on what Tracy calls making a big speech, apologising and saying she even made a hash of apologising, probably because at the time she wasn't properly sorry; it took her some time to work out what she was feeling and why, and then she had to realise that none of it is about her. She goes on to say that good news is precious, especially at the moment when everything is so tough, and she truly can't think of any better news than her sister marrying the fellow who makes her happy (to which Jazzer adds a hearty 'Ay, agreed!') and how lucky Jazzer is, because Tracy is the most loyal, loving, heard-working and funny person Susan has ever met, and she is privileged to call her sister. She's very glad that she will soon be able to call Jazzer her brother-in-law and hopes she'll be a worthy sister-in-law and if she ever gets anything so wrong again they are to give her a sharp nudge and tell her to jog on. The emotional moment is then dissipated in offering Jazzer another helping of hotpot, which he greedily accepts.

After the meal Susan and Tracy have gone out for a walk in the rain and talking about sledging on Lakey Hill riding on a fertiliser bag together in their childhoods [Susan being twelve years Tracy's senior. Chris]. They have left Neil and Jazzer clearing up, and Susan thanks Tracy for coming: Tracy thanks Susan for the lovely evening. They discuss plans for the wedding, starting with Tracy suggesting a completely absurd hen do of a week at Magaluf but agreeing that a jug of Pimms at The Bull will do for her, thought Susan says they can do better than that, and then going on more realistically to Jazzer's (as yet unknown) best man, and Tracy's wedding dress; she says she would be happy to get married in a bin bag with everyone she loves around her, to which Susan replies, 'Bin bag it is then.' Susan tells her that she really does think she and Jazzer make a brilliant couple, and they're going to be very happy together.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 6th January, 2023

Pip has misunderstood, and Elizabeth wants apology to Vince.

Characters: Vince, Elizabeth, David, Ruth, Lottie, Pip
Credited scriptwriter: Sarah Hehir
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

When Vince turns up to collect Elizabeth at five thirty, she is not yet ready to go out and offers him a glass of wine, but he declines; he is going to drive, and he wants a clear head for the business in hand. So she asks him to pour her one whilst she finishes getting dressed; they have plenty of time to be in Waterley Cross for seven thirty. He is wearing his lucky tie because he needs all the luck he can get, and hopes that after today having a meal out with Elizabeth's family won't be a cause of concern. Elizabeth advises him that neither the place or the food will be the deal-breaker for David: how genuinely sorry he is will be what matters. Vince tries to reassure her.

Heavy rain and the possible state of the roads as a result is what is on David's mind; Ruth says Susan had heard of the restaurant they are going to and the food is meant to be really good. David grunts about that, then wonders whether that's Vince's idea of atonement: one fancy meal to make up for everything he's done; if he had his way David would not be going. Ruth points out that at least they will have a good meal, and once the land sale is finalised they won't have the loan hanging over them and can pay Vince back. Just as they are about to leave, Lottie comes in looking for Pip, and Ruth is delighted to see her. David remembers that Pip told them she had turned up again, and Ruth says she will give Pip a ring to let her know Lottie and Maddy are there. Ruth was not aware that Lottie and Maddy are going to be staying for the night in the B&B: Pip had not told them. Lottie is embarrassed. For some reason, instead of making Pip deal with her own mess Ruth tells Lottie that they are about to go out and now is really not a good time. Lottie says that she must have misunderstood Pip, and she will go. Pip immediately appears, David takes Ruth away so they won't be late, and Pip clearly was not expecting Lottie: she didn't see Lottie's text arranging to come, and is left explaining she meant some time soon, not right now, and they are not set up yet. Lottie apologises and blames the misunderstanding on Rosie having told Maddy it was to be today. Pip says Rosie would love to see Maddy, and they should stay for a bit. Give her a few minutes: she's got an idea.

Vince is struggling to make conversation with David, and David clearly wishes he were not there: he is grudging in reply, until Ruth and Elizabeth come back from chatting with Brian, Jennifer and Kate, who are there to celebrate Jennifer's birthday. Vince tries to propose a toast to Family, but David says he'd rather drink to decent milk prices, and Vince changes the toast. Ruth drinks to a long and happy life; she has to prompt David to respond, and he says 'Cheers' in a despondent voice worthy of Tony at his gloomiest. Silence follows until Vince says he'll have to take the bull by the horns: if he doesn't he's not sure about a long life, but it's definitely going to be a long night.

Apparently Lottie has never been able to get Maddy to eat eggs, but tonight she and Rosie between them ate half a dozen, scrambled. The inducement was Josh allowing them to hunt for the eggs in the chicken ark, using torches. They are now bouncing on the beds upstairs; Pip and Lottie chat about children and bed-bouncing, then Lottie asks how Pip is doing with her New Year resolution to have fun, and Pip says good; she has started looking up ideas for what to do on 17th February, her birthday. She wondered about dirt-track racing and asks if Lottie would like to come along; Lottie doesn't know what it is. When it has been explained, Lottie says she is game, and asks about the kids; Pip says no, but she thought of asking Esmé, another mum from school, and Stella, and maybe Rex. Lottie says it is something grown-up to look forward to. Then Lottie notices the time, nearly seven-thirty, and says she had better make a move; she offers to have Rosie for a sleep-over, which after a half-hearted caveat or two Pip accepts. Lottie then invites Pip to come over for breakfast pancakes once she has finished milking.

Now that Vince has apologised and made the first move, Elizabeth seems to expect David and Ruth to apologise, though for what is entirely unclear; as Ruth says, they have nothing to apologise for. David asks whether that is Vince's script: get them to agree mutual acceptance of guilt and then he will pay for this stupidly expensive meal in this stuck-up restaurant and walk away looking like the good guy, to get his claws stuck in David's sister again? Ruth tells him that's enough and apologises to Vince, and Elizabeth tells Vince she's sorry she encouraged him to do this. Vince suggests everyone taking a minute, and Elizabeth says she is sick of thinking about how she could make everything OK again, and not knowing where her loyalties lie. She thought getting together to talk things through was worth a try; Ruth says she's sorry, but she really doesn't see how a meal was going to make up for Vince's outrageous bullying of Ben. Elizabeth is now obliged to point out Vince having had the grace to say he was sorry, and says she assumed David and Ruth having accepted the invitation meant they had some intention of making things better. Ruth wonders if she told Vince what Ben's been going through, and Elizabeth is silent. Ruth then explains to Vince that obviously Elizabeth wouldn't trust him for one second with something so sensitive, after his shouting about Ben and Chelsea in the pub; Vince says he's apologised for that and he doesn't know exactly what's been going on with Ben – but he never wished him any harm. Ruth is exasperated and says 'Yes you did!', going on to assert that Vince wanted to break Ben and that's exactly what he did. Vince admits he was angry, and says Ruth would be too if she saw her daughter being treated badly, but Ruth is having none of it: she just thinks he isn't sorry at all. Elizabeth wants her to calm down, but David has had enough; they'll pay the bill on the way out. Elizabeth is left appealing to 'David' with no answer forthcoming.

As Elizabeth and Vince go out to the car he apologises to her for mentioning Beth, but she says he would have had to be a saint not to react to some of the things they were saying. He says that it's true she didn't tell him about Ben, and wants to know whether Ruth was right about Elizabeth not trusting him; she prevaricates and says it's not really something you explain in a text. Vince wants to know where this leaves 'Us'. Since he has done everything she told him to, Elizabeth has now decided where her loyalties do lie: can they just go home?

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 8th January, 2023

Jim chickens out and Kate faces the unexpected.

Characters: Jim, Jazzer, Kate, Rex, Kirsty
Credited scriptwriter: Katie Hims
Director:
Julie Beckett
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The memory of how Jazzer was when they first met leaves Jim incredulous about the news Jazzer has brought him; he used to be a tearaway, now he is a pillar of the community. They are sure Tracy will let Jazzer know if he becomes boring, but will also keep him on the straight and narrow. Jazzer has come round to talk with Jim, and first he wants to thank him for everything, but most of all for his friendship. Jim says there is no need: the friendship is entirely reciprocal. Jazzer has something else, though: he would like Jim to be his best man. This does surprise Jim, but also flatters him: he agrees immediately, saying that he would be deeply honoured.

Hammering on the roof is not compatible with Kate's cold weather class and she wants to know how much longer Rex will be doing it; he is aware that she wants quiet but points out that she wouldn't want water dripping on everyone. She responds that rain is actually very good for building up immunity and resilience, explaining about the release of compounds by trees which are good for the body; this surprises Rex, whose response to all the following woo about ions and antibodies is 'If you say so'. She asserts that she is not making it up: it is actual science. [These theories were reported on in The Guardian last October, which explains their appearance in The Archers now. Chris] He tells her he is not arguing, though she doesn't think he sounds convinced. He says that is because he is concentrating on the roof, and she carries on about the weather being a blessing in disguise, though she does concede that water dripping on her students would be horrible. She does however want to know where Kirsty is; Rex says she is around somewhere, and Kate then wants to know why, when the cabin is only four months old, Rex is having to repair it already. He will be calling the company that built it to come and do the rest of the repairs, and Kate says it does look lovely, and having a proper floor for her classes is great. He asks for some hot chai, but Kate refuses to make him some on the grounds that it is for her class, not him. When Kirsty then comes up and congratulates him on the roof repairs he disclaims, saying it's just a bit of plywood, and then in response to her saying she was held up by two ramblers complaining about the weather says she ought to have told them that it is good for them, regurgitating Kate's earlier lecture to him; Kate is not amused. Kirsty says she then ran into David, who looked really miserable, and Kate is able to tell her about the dinner on Friday, which because she was eating in the same restaurant she was able to observe. She thinks there must have been a row, because David and Ruth walked out half-way through without David even finishing his meal; she didn't overhear what it was about. At this point Rex comes down, having finished the temporary mend, and Kirsty offers to ring the builders first thing tomorrow and get them to come and do a proper job, while Rex turns down Kate's suggestion that he can join her class if he wants.

Jim has come to see Jazzer and back out of being his best man: he wouldn't be able to organise a stag night or give a funny speech. He has assumed Jazzer will want a stripper, and wouldn't know how to book one, which makes Jazzer laugh heartily. Jazzer than says he has got it all wrong, and Jim assumes Jazzer doesn't want him to be best man after all.

The cold weather class was ill-attended and Kate says it was a disaster; Kirsty and Rex try to help her put a good face on it, and when Kate asks what she is going to do about the gallon of chai she made up for the class, Rex eagerly says that if it's hot he will take it. Kirsty suggests that they get out of the weather, drink chai, and work out how to do it better next time; Kate doesn't think there is going to be a next time, but Kirsty thinks that is defeatist and Rex wants chai, now: he's really cold.

Attempts to reassure Jim are getting nowhere: he says he isn't a 'bloke' bloke who could organise a stag night. Jazzer gives him some tea and tries to reassure him that he has no desire to go to Magaluf, even if he or his friends would be able to afford it. Jim explains that he has a horrible feeling that he will be a let-down, and that he is the wrong person for the job. Jazzer can see that he is getting stressed, and says he can find somebody else; Jim is relieved, but wants to make it clear how amazed and thrilled he was to be asked.

Rex says the chai is fantastic, and Kate is glad at least it's not going to waste. She asks whether they ever found out who was stealing from the log-pile, and how the logs came to be returned, and Rex says no; when Kate asks about the wild-life camera, he claims that unluckily, it ran out of battery, then asks for a top-up to his chai. Kirsty asks him why he is dressed like the Michelin Man, and he explains that he's freezing; Kate suggests he may be coming down with something, and Kirsty says he should be doing Kate's cold weather class and building up his immunity. Kate's phone beeps as she is saying she doesn't think anyone should be doing that class. She hopes it will be Jakob from a vet's conference he has gone to in Belgium, and indeed it is, but the news is not what Kate hoped for: his brother will be coming to stay at his place, arriving on Tuesday, and Jakob won't be there. The brother needs somewhere to stay, for an indefinite period, and Kate realises she will have to look after him even though she has never even met him. His name is Erik, and when Kirsty says 'Erik the Viking' Kate says she is never to say that to him, but she does have to meet him, everyone has to meet him, because Kate can't do this on her own. Jakob has never made Erik sound all that nice, and since Jakob is her life-partner she trusts him, even though as Rex points out, Jakob can be a bit hard on people; what if he is right and Erik is as bad as he says? What if he's worse? What if he's truly awful?

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 9th January, 2023

Jim lands Susan right in it, and Adam does the same to Pat.

Characters: Jim, Susan, Adam, Pat, Joy
Credited scriptwriter: Katie Hims
Director:
Julie Beckett
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Having backed out of being Jazzer's best man, Jim is explaining to Susan that he felt terrible about it and now wonders whether he ought to do it after all; she tells him that she can't advise him, because she has made a belated New Year Resolution not to express her opinion too strongly on other people's life decisions. She then gets a text telling her that Maureen can't come for her afternoon shift because she has done her back in; Jim at once says he can cover for her, but Susan goes on to tell him that she is blaming the shop for her back. Apparently when they did a shift together last week Jim asked Maureen to clean the stock-room; Susan says he will have to cover all Maureen's shifts until someone else can take over as a volunteer. She is somewhat judgemental in her blame of Jim for having caused Maureen to leave, but responds to his mild reminder about not expressing her opinion too strongly explains that she only meant about personal decisions but is still allowed to express her opinions.

Erik turning up is being explained to Pat by Adam, who says that according to Jakob Erik is complete nightmare, so Kate is dreading his arrival. Pat makes sure Adam is OK to do the veg boxes until Tom gets back from his holiday with Natasha's parents, which they discuss briefly. Pat bemoans the lack of colour in the veg boxes at this time of year, though once the poly-tunnels get going again they look a lot more cheerful, and Adam tells her that he's had an idea about getting the customers involved in the farm and the growing; Pat says they already have Open Farm Sunday, but Adam thinks they could do more: for instance creating, not a tourist attraction exactly, but a place people could come and visit on a regular basis – like an edible forest.

The advertisement for the position as a shop volunteer which Jim has written is being decried by Susan as being an essay, when all it needs to say is 'Help wanted, enquire within'; he says they have to let people know what they are getting into, whereas she feels there is time enough for that face to face when they have come forward. He objects that they might feel awkward about not committing themselves after they have come in, and Susan responds that the team has to commit too: they aren't going to take the first person who wanders in off the street. They agree on that, with Susan adding that whoever it is, they can't be the kind of person who thinks they know it all, or someone who wants to takeover, or someone who talks too much, or someone who judges someone else for buying a multi-pack of Wotsits that they're obviously going to eat by themselves in one sitting ... Jim grunts after each example, possibly in agreement. Before she has finished her catalogue of undesirable characteristics in a shop assistant, Joy comes in and says she wants to volunteer; Susan tries to put her off, saying they've has a lot of interest, but Jim won't allow it and expresses courteous interest in Joy's long-winded exposition of her suitability.

Pictures of a forest trail he and Ian have visited are being shown to Pat by Adam: he is suggesting a sort of trail for people to look round the farm and see how the food is grown. Pat understands that it's a sort of trail and Adam agrees that's it: you welcome people onto the farm, and they get to see how all the growing is done, though obviously you control where they can go. People find open gardens popular, muses Pat, and Adam suggests calling it a forest garden [when it is neither. Chris]. He is clearly copying an idea somebody else has had, and Pat asks how long that has been established; he doesn't know, but thinks that if they were to start planting this January... Pat jumps in and suggests they could have something up and running by May, and he concurs. She adds that perhaps they could link up with the wetlands [that's the succession ponds, I think. Chris]: the pools and lakes are teaming with wildlife in the Spring. They could signpost the trails and explain what the wetlands are for: people are getting very interested in alternative approaches. Adam thinks that would be great, and Pat enthuses it's a fantastic idea.

Joy is giving her history of life in retail, the men's department in a large Newcastle department store between 1987 and 1981, to Jim's interest and Susan's increasing distaste; as Joy goes on and on Susan continues to make it more and more clear that she isn't keen on her joining the shop team, while Jim eggs Joy on and she is oblivious to Susan's unenthusiasm. Jim eventually suggests that Joy might put it all in a cv, though Susan says she shouldn't go to any trouble; Joy leaps on the idea and finally leaves the shop to go and write up her cv, promising to bring it in later in the day. Once she's gone Susan says she can't listen to her all day long, and Jim agrees she talks quite a lot; Susan asserts she puts her on edge, and her talk of yellow y-fronts is more than Susan can bear. She's not prepared to take the risk Joy might talk about them all the time; they'll have to find someone else.

It has occurred to Adam to worry about what Tom may make of his idea, though Pat initially says he'll love it: will he feel like Adam is taking over? Although that hadn't occurred to Pat; now he's said it she simply doesn't know how Tom may feel: his reactions are unpredictable. She thinks he should be incredibly grateful for the fantastic suggestion, though she warns Adam that when he introduces the idea, Tom may be a bit of a wally about it, and offers her apologies in advance if he is. Adam laughs and agrees to run it past him; Pat reiterates that she thinks it's a great idea; surely Tom will see that straight away?

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 10th January, 2023

Erik arrives, and Jim is talked round.

Characters: Kate, Erik, Jim, Alistair, Jazzer
Credited scriptwriter: Katie Hims
Director:
Julie Beckett
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Erik looks very like Jakob, about which Kate exclaims repeatedly as she is making him welcome and showing him round Jakob's house. She also offers to show him round the village tomorrow. At the umpteenth 'I can't believe how alike you are!' from Kate, Erik claims to be younger and better looking than his brother, then says he's joking. He doesn't mind her not having bought food in for him; he tells her she is a brilliant landlord for doing as much as she has, and after being somewhat taken aback she explains that she and Jakob are life-partners. Erik first says that he didn't know Jakob had a partner, then, as she expresses great indignation about this, remembers that he did know but says that he and Jakob hardly ever speak, maybe twice a year, and she hasn't been mentioned so he'd forgotten her. He does now remember that Jakob sounded really excited when he first met Kate, and points out that Jakob doesn't often sound excited. Kate remains unsure whether to believe him.

The arrival of Jakob's brother may have excited Alistair but it is not high on Jim's list of priorities: as well as finding the perfect best man for Jazzer, he has to find a perfect new volunteer for the shop. Alistair suggests to him that this is madness: he is the perfect best man himself because he is the best man Jazzer wants, and if Susan doesn't like Joy she can be the one to find a new volunteer. Jim doesn't really accept this because Maureen leaving has been presented to him by Susan as having been his fault, so Alistair then recommends making two lists of possible people, one list for each job. Jim tells him he is wonderful.

The present which Erik has brought with him for Jakob, a smart speaker, would make Kate very happy, but she accidentally lets slip that while she wanted one, Jakob didn't because he thinks Big Tech are using them to spy on people. Erik is unsure quite how to react to these revelations, and while he is floundering Kate reveals that she is still annoyed with Jakob for not mentioning her; Erik changes the subject to the local pub Jakob has told him does excellent food, and perhaps going there for tonight's supper. Kate volunteers to go to supper with him, and also tells him that Jakob's partner Alistair can't wait to meet him, so she could ask him to come too. Erik thinks that sounds brilliant.

Jim is making his lists, and has put Alice on the list for the shop because Susan must be over that business with the brick now, all water under the bridge. Alistair puts forward Ed for the best man gig, claiming he is not sure that Jim didn't leave Ed off the list because he subconsciously wants the job himself, which Jim disputes was his reason. Then Jazzer rings the doorbell, and Alistair lets him in and escapes to the pub.

When Kate asks what Jakob was like as a kid, Erik reveals that everything was colour-coded, with yellow Lego in a box with a yellow label, red in one with a red label; as Alistair starts to laugh Erik adds that Jakob's room was very neat, with books in alphabetical order, and he always did his homework early. He was the worst brother Erik could have had; Erik loved him, of course, but he heard 'why can't you be more like your brother' over and over; tales out of school seem to be Erik's forté, though he then claims to have been kidding well, sort of. Kate lets on that Jakob thinks Erik was the favourite, because he was the fun one, which appears to be news to Erik, who goes on to tell his audience that Jakob was perhaps a bit staid: he had a paper round as soon as he was old enough, and then a Saturday job helping out at a vets' surgery: he clearly knew what he wanted, whereas Erik had no idea. Kate tells Alistair that Erik is now a conference and events stage manager, and tells everyone what to do, with jobs all over the world, very glamorous. Pausing only to make a joke out of this version of his life, Erik goes to the bar to get another round, and the slightly stunned Alistair and Kate agree that he's lovely, not what they were expecting: Jakob made him sound like a nightmare. Alistair points out that Erik is spontaneous, chatty, good with people, and incredibly sociable: that is Jakob's nightmare.

Jim's list of potential best men is being presented to Jazzer, who doesn't sound enthusiastic about Neil, Alistair or Ed, no matter that Jim has waxed lyrical about how much they like Jazzer and how good they would be at the job; he loves them all but he doesn't want any of them. He asks Jim please to listen to him: he isn't interested in drinking games or hilarious speeches, and there's only one person he wants as his best man: Jim, who is the best man he knows. This silences Jim. Jazzer goes on to say that he understands Jim doesn't like the pressure of the whole shebang, so he has had an idea: Ed and Jim could share the rôle, to which Jim agrees. When Jazzer asks if they're on, then, Jim replies that if Ed is willing, then yes, and when Jazzer further asks if this is happening, Jim replies that apparently it is, and it is going to be the best day of Jazzer's life.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 11th January, 2023

Kate explains, Lilian is obtuse, and Jim and Susan are in a hole.

Characters: Kate, Alan, Jim, Susan, Lilian, Justin
Credited scriptwriter: Katie Hims
Director:
Julie Beckett
Editor: Jeremy Howe

As he sits in the tea-room minding his own paperwork and having a working lunch Alan is accosted by Kate, who is meeting Lilian there; he is initially apprehensive, but after alarming him by telling him that a large number of her family has written to the Bishop over Alan's decision about the window, she good-humouredly informs him that the Bishop has made it clear that it is Alan's decision not his, and she seems not to be too upset about it. After saying 'fair play to you, Alan', she jokes that they fought the church and the church won, which Alan seems not to find all that amusing. She doesn't want to make his lunch get cold, but she just wanted to let him know there are no hard feelings. He thanks her, and she leaves him to it.

The shop bell rings and Jim comes in with two bits of news for Susan, the good and the great. She asks to hear the great first, and he tells her that he and Ed will be sharing the position of best man for Jazzer; Susan is delighted for them all and thinks it's a wonderful solution. The good news is that he has found someone for the shop, though there is a chance Susan won't like him any better than she liked Joy: it's Justin Elliott, who is apparently very keen to 'give back to the community'. Susan absolutely is not only not keen, she is incredulous and says that isn't good news at all. Joy talks too much and she wouldn't trust Justin as far as she could throw him. Jim points out that nobody's perfect.

Having met her at the tea-room, Lilian is telling Kate that Justin is being secretive about his appointment that afternoon, almost cloak and dagger, and she has no idea what he is up to. Kate suggests that he may be planning a romantic surprise for her, which leads Lilian to talk about the (non romantic) hotel weekend with Jennifer, who wouldn't let her pay for half of it; Kate says that was because it is a Christmas present, and Brian and Jennifer have given expensive presents to everyone. Lilian muses that she and Jennifer should spend more time together, then asks if Jakob's brother has arrived, and Kate says he is absolutely lovely and she doesn't know why Jakob said he was a nightmare. She can see that they are very different people, Erik being made for action, quite messy, doesn't stop talking, goes from project to project without blinking... Lilian saying that he sounds a bit like Kate offends Kate mightily for all that she has been singing his praises. She finds it necessary to inform Lilian that Jakob doesn't think she's a nightmare; he's madly in love with her and she is madly in love with him. She is missing him and thinks this vet conference has gone on for long enough.

Jim and Susan are doing their best to put Justin off the idea of volunteering. The two enumerate every possible disadvantage to working in the shop, and Justin offers ways to deal with every one of them.

Lilian is shocked to see Alan sitting in his corner and wants to know if he was there all along: Kate could have told her, she might have said anything about him! She tells Kate that she is still completely furious with him, but Kate tells her there is no point. Kate asks if Lilian has any paracetamol: she has a headache, having got absolutely plastered in the Bull last night with Erik insisting on following up several beers with tequila shots, which she contrasts with Jakob probably insisting they should go home after a half of shandy. Lilian is revealing that the whole village fancies Jakob, to Kate's disgust, when Alan comes over to ask whether Jakob will be back to in time play the organ on the Sunday after next; Lilian is thoroughly unwelcoming but Kate is all sweetness, and after Alan has left Lilian wants to know why Kate was so conciliating. Kate explains to the seething Lilian that she and Peggy have decided on a new plan, to kill Alan with kindness so that he has to give them what they want. Lilian promises to lay on the charm good and thick, and finally locates the paracetamol, which she gives to Kate.

Not in the least dismayed by any effort of Susan's and Jim's to point out every possible down-side to working in the shop, Justin says that it all sounds rather fun and that nothing either of them has said has put him off: when can he start? Susan says she will be in touch, he leaves saying he will see them soon, and Susan tells Jim that it's all his fault and he will have to be the one to train Justin up. Jim is disinclined to accept complete responsibility, but she bulldozes through his protests and tells him he has lost them Maureen and found them someone they don't want. Jim tries to argue that he might not be as bad as she thinks, but eventually has to admit Justin might be more trouble than he is worth.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 12th January, 2023

Tom likes Adam's idea, and Kirsty likes Erik.

Characters: Tom, Adam, Kate, Kirsty, Erik
Credited scriptwriter: Katie Hims
Director:
Julie Beckett
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Wales was wonderful and Tom is enthusing to Adam about even having been able to have a whole evening out with his wife while his mother-in-law babysat for them [nobody in Ambridge except Natasha and Tom ever looks after the Star Twins, right? Chris]; Adam sympathises about how tired Tom is, and they discuss whether it is better to have twins and get all the work over in one go; Tom is very clear that two children is enough and they are never going to do it again. Tom wants to know if everything went OK without him; he suspects that something must have gone wrong in his absence, something broken, his dog lost... When Adam says Tom doesn't have a dog he laughs and says it's a hypothetical dog, or maybe a metaphorical dog, and Adam promises he has broken nothing and lost neither.

The winter yoga class is being run again; Kate is despondent about the possibility it might be a greater success in the finer weather, but Kirsty is more upbeat. Kirsty mentions that she has heard from Jim that Alan says the idea for the church window has been given up; Kate is affronted that she heard this via the grapevine. Kirsty thinks it had all got rather divisive and it's a good thing they gave it up, but Kate tells her it was entirely because Alan has been completely awful about it, and not to be bought with Peggy's money; then Kirsty backpeddles frantically, saying she thought they had given up because they'd had a rethink, to which Kate replies they gave up because they clearly didn't have Alan's support. Kate's phone pings but she can't at first find it; when she does, she has a message from Noluthando, whose boyfriend of two years broke up with her on her birthday a week ago; Kate hates being so far away from her daughter. She bemoans the fact that she can't call her immediately because she has to set up for the class; Kirsty encourages her to do it, and she'll hold the fort if anyone arrives. Kate has no sooner left to ring Noluthando than Erik arrives, having come to a last-minute decision about coming along. Kirsty recognises him because he looks so like Jakob, and when he asks who she is introduces herself as Kirsty. Erik says he is kind of disappointed that she hasn't heard anything about him after the drunken night at the pub, then suggests that she might join the class; she hadn't though of doing that, but it sounds a good plan.

The idea for Bridge Farm that Adam had in Tom's absence has come to his mind, and Tom, who is not in the least surprised it exists, and says he knew Adam was acting shifty, tells him to spit it out: he tells Tom that he thinks they should grow an edible forest garden.

There was a very good turn-out for the class, and Erik and Kirsty are both pleased on Kate's account; Kirsty admits she gave it a big push on the publicity but hadn't told Kate in advance in case it hadn't worked, and Erik says he was talking to some people in the class who was there on Sunday and had come again, bringing four others with them, so clearly it is doing well by word of mouth too; in fact Kate thinks there might have been too many there, because she ran out of chai. Erik says the chai when they finished was a lovely touch, and with her doubts settled, Kate says she will be happy to do it again. Erik offers to help her pack up her stuff.

Faced with what might be said to amount to a hard sell, Tom expresses suspicion of what Adam is up to; when he hears that Adam has got drawings with him ready to show his point, he knows that Adam has planned this all carefully in advance. Adam launches into his exposition: it will only require half an acre as linear herbaceous borders, only instead of flowers, they would be planted with food, rhubarb, artichokes, onions, chives and so on, also berry bushes and espalier apple and plum trees. The more Adam enthuses, the more Tom shows a rather dour and doubting face, so that Adam says anxiously that he doesn't like it; then he suddenly says that Adam had him at 'edible forest garden' and it is amazing, he loves it, but he couldn't resist winding him up a bit. Adam is relieved, but pretends to hit him anyway.

Once Kate has driven off with all her stuff, Erik and Kirsty talk together about themselves, which includes Kirsty's plan to go swimming in the Am tomorrow; she invites him to join her at two o'clock, which will allow plenty of time for a swim before dark. He is not entirely keen on the idea, it being January and all, and wonders why she is doing it, to which she replies that it is more fun than just going to the pub. When he adds that he thinks it might be a bit dangerous because of not being acclimatised to the temperature, she says if he doesn't want to swim they could just go to the pub; she is surprised when he then says that he will come swimming. Out of the blue and for no immediately apparent reason Kirsty asks him if he is single; when he says he is, she replies that so is she, or she wouldn't have asked him out. He says that now he knows, he still wants to go, more so in fact. He'll see her tomorrow.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 13th January, 2023

Justin gets the position, and Kirsty gets her coat.

Characters: Justin, Lilian, Kirsty, Erik, Susan, Jim
Credited scriptwriter: Katie Hims
Director:
Julie Beckett
Editor: Jeremy Howe

It seems that Justin has been told by Susan that his shift at the shop today is only a trial run, but he is confident he is a shoo-in; Lilian thinks him working in the village shop is bizarre, and that others will also see it as something for which he must have an ulterior motive. He says he hasn't time to convince her that his heart is pure, fun though that might be. She warns him that he ought not to assume that working in the shop will be undemanding: apparently some of their customers can tricky so-and-soes. Justin is sure he will manage: he will charm them all, every single one of them. Lilian cackles and wishes him good luck with that.

On the banks of the Am, Kirsty says that she thinks Erik looks terrified, and he retorts that he is not terrified, he just can't believe she is making him swim in a river in January; she denies making him do anything and then starts instructing him on how to go about river-swimming in January safely: go in up to your knees at first, see how that feels, control your breathing, then put some water on the back of your neck and that way you give your body some warning. [This has been a Public Service Announcement. Chris.] Erik decides to ignore her advice and just chuck himself in; with some alarm, she exclaims that rushing straight in is the opposite of what you're supposed to do, it's dangerous. He ignores her and dives in with a mighty splash.

The campaign by Susan and Jim to make Justin back out of working in the shop continues with comments about the till sticking, and then a warning to him in confidence about some tricky customers. Justin assumes that means shop-lifters, but Susan says it's no such thing, just that there are some very demanding types out there, the Hilary Noakes and the Cecil Jacksons of the world, impossible to please, bringing things back, complaining, wanting to exchange things: they are a nightmare. Jim goes away do some sorting in the stock-room, leaving Susan to look after Justin. He asks her whether they get a lot of shoplifting, which she says they don't. Then his first real live customer arrives: it's Lilian, who just wants to peruse. [sic]

It seems that Erik has survived and is breathing just fine, though Kirsty says she would not have wanted to have to say 'Jakob, I broke your brother.' He apologises for having frightened her, and when he asks how long they will swim for Kirsty says they can stay in for one minute per degree of temperature, which means about ten minutes and they've been swimming for five; when he says he can do this, she rejoins that it is not an endurance test. Erik then says that his hands have gone numb, and Kirsty orders him to get out at once; he tells her he can stay in as long as she can, whereupon she announces she is getting out now.

In the shop, Lilian is demanding a refund on a tin of tomato soup with a dent in it, though Justin offers to exchange it for an undented one, and on some chocolate biscuits about which she has changed her mind; when Justin points out that he is very fond of those biscuits she informs him that is why she has decided not to have them after all: he is too fond of them. Irritated, Justin asks Susan to do the refund, but she first gossips with Lilian about her impending hotel break with Jennifer, then says she has to show Justin how to do it himself: otherwise, how is he going to learn? When Lilian mimics Susan's 'how are you going to learn?' Justin warns her not to push it.

Erik has lit a fire to prove that he is not completely useless, and says the swim was amazing. All her health and safety advice having been ignored has ruffled Kirsty a little; when he asks her why she is single, she says he doesn't want to know and that she doesn't want to tell him but asks him why he is: he says he just can't make it last. A relationship. He just can't make a relationship last. He's had a fair few girlfriends, in fact, and when Kirsty asks what goes wrong he says he doesn't know: obviously it's never his fault, he jokes, he's a dream in a relationship. If you say so, responds Kirsty dryly, then adds that his job can't help, always off to the next exotic place. He denies that all his work is in places that are exotic, but yes, she's right, it doesn't help.

After Justin has finished his shift and gone, Susan and Jim discuss him and agree he did well enough except for not being able to deal with Lilian,. In the end, faced with a choice between him and Joy, Susan decides she would rather offer it to Justin. Jim demurs that she said she wouldn't trust him as far as she could throw him, and she agrees that she doesn't, but beggars can't be choosers. Jim wishes they knew why Justin was so keen to work in the shop, and Susan suggests that perhaps if they give him the job they can find out: if he is up to no good, they will be able to keep tabs on him.

It's beginning to get dark and Kirsty and Erik have been drinking hot chocolate and eating cake beside a fire Erik has built. When he suggests going to the pub, Kirsty invites him back to hers and tells him that her housemate is away for the weekend if that makes any difference. They won't be interrupted, she says suggestively. Erik wants to know whether he is reading this right, and Kirsty says she really hopes so; they flirt a bit about his popularity with the ladies, and Kirsty says that it is refreshing to be with someone who doesn't know her entire past history. Erik decides that he would love to come back to hers.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 15th January, 2023

Brad is being harassed, Rex is beset by leaks, and Erik is making himself at home.

Characters: Chelsea, Brad, Tracy, Rex, Kate, Kirsty
Credited scriptwriter: Daniel Thurman
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Minor bickering is going on between Chelsea and an unresponsive Brad, who is staring at his phone: she wants to talk about Jim being Jazzer's best man, and although Brad replies to her every remark is clearly more interested in whatever is on the phone. Chelsea is immediately suspicious: has he got a girl? She bets he has a girl. Who is she, someone from college? Just tell her the name, she'll get it out of him eventually. When he says it is Paige, no, not the stuck up one at college from Loxley Barratt, a girl from the maths course he went on last month, Chelsea at once bellows for Tracy, telling her to come here quick, Brad's found himself a girlfriend!

After the yoga participants have left Rex begs for some chai from Kate. She had a good crowd for the class and Rex is glad of that; the company who put up the shelter were very apologetic about the leak and it has been fixed. Kate relays to him the troubles of Noluthando, unable to afford her rent solo after being ditched and needing to find somewhere else to live; she once more bemoans being so far away from her daughter and unable to support her properly. When Rex declines to join the next yoga class because it's too cold, Kate first lectures him about layering, then says that actually he already knows about that going by all the jumpers he is wearing and wants to know why he has so much on all the time. He tells her he has had no heating in the boat for a week and there is a leak over his bed; she is horrified, and offers him a bed at The Rookery [Jakob rents what used to be Kate's cottage, and Kate's cottage was never called The Rookery. It was one of The Rookeries, and then it was The Hobbit. Chris] with Erik. When he is unsure about this on the grounds that it is Jakob's house, not hers or Erik's, she informs him that Jakob won't be back until next Monday so it will be fine. Rex is still dubious about the idea and feels it is intrusive, wondering whether they ought to ask Jakob, but Kate is determined they don't need to do that, and says she will give him a lift there at once.

Tracy wants Chelsea to stop badgering Brad, but is obviously full of curiosity herself about this girl. After saying he will say nothing more, having made the mistake of saying anything to Chelsea in the first place, Brad refuses to reveal much to either of the prurient females he lives with; all he really lets slip is that he met Paige because they were partnered together for a maths game. Chelsea accuses him of sneaking around with this girl behind their backs for weeks and wants to know why they haven't met her, and he tells them she lives in Reading and he hasn't seen her since the course; they have just been messaging. Tracy points out to her that he is taking it slowly, and Chelsea thinks he is taking it too slowly.

The meeting of Rex with Erik goes well, mostly because of Erik's hail-fellow-well-met attitude and readiness to throw open his brother's home to Rex; Kate is rather put out by his having moved the furniture around and filled the place with junk-food nibbles, to which he replies it was a bit of a show-house ('that's how Jakob likes it,' puts in Kate) and he wanted it to look a bit more lived-in. When Kate is still clearly unhappy about the mess, Rex promises to sort it before Jakob gets home. As Kate is about to leave Kirsty emerges from somewhere in the cottage, and Erik claims she has been showing him round the sights, saying that the trip up Lakey Hill was memorable [Yes, ha ha, clever scriptie. Scriptie biscuit. Chris]. Kate seems genuinely pleased that they are having fun, and says she had better be off, though Rex wants her to stay. Erik immediately asks who is for a glass of wine.

Understandably, Brad is not interested in advice from Chelsea about his love-life, pointing out that hers hasn't been so wonderful and then, when Tracy objects, apologising; Tracy is in favour of Brad being allowed to take things at his own pace with Paige, Chelsea is determined that if he doesn't 'shift up a gear' he may lose his opportunity. Tracy feels that he should be allowed to know what he wants for himself: Paige might be shy, and perhaps she's not ready for an official date. Chelsea reckons that if he doesn't push things forward it might fizzle out. After some argument between Tracy and Chelsea, during which Brad remarks that he is actually there, Tracy says he should do what works for him, Brad says he will, and Chelsea that she just hope it works for Paige as well.

Tours at the rewilding are being arranged between Kirsty and Rex, and when they have decided who will do which over the next week Erik suggests opening some more of Jakob's wine; Kirsty refuses any more and goes home, saying that she won't be coming back later. After she has gone Rex suggests perhaps they could have some white wine next, so it won't make a stain if it is spilt on the cream carpet. He also wants a cloth to clean the coffee table, which Erik forbids him to do on the grounds that Rex is a guest and has only just got there. As he goes to rifle through the wine rack in the kitchen, it becomes clear that Erik is determined to treat Jakob's property as his own; Rex is uncomfortable about this and doesn't want him to open a 'very nice bottle of Malbec' that he finds, on the grounds that Jakob might have been saving it for a special occasion, though Erik has said he'll replace anything they drink. He replies breezily to the suggestion that they ought to make a note of the labels by saying that he'll surprise Jakob, which Rex clearly thinks is not a good plan. Just as Rex suggests perhaps some bowls for the nibbles, and some coasters, might be an idea there is a crash of breaking glass from the kitchen: Erik has dropped the bottle. Rex is upset, but Erik's cheery response is 'At least it's not on the carpet.'

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 16th January, 2023

Brad has a success, and Tony comes clean.

Characters: Leonard, Tony, Chelsea, Brad, Lilian
Credited scriptwriter: Daniel Thurman
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The guitar returns! Leonard brings it to Tony in his railway shed, where Tony is fixing a derailing problem in the layout. Leonard has mended the guitar, with some on-line guidance, and chuckles happily about it being as good as new, almost; Tony agrees that you can hardly see the mend. [Good grief. Chris] Now, says Leonard, Tony can book himself some lessons. After hearing him enthuse about following Tony's progress with keen interest, Tony gently explains to him that the whole thing was a misunderstanding, caused by the letter in a bottle and Lilian thinking that he had an unfulfilled ambition as a musician; he really isn't interested in learning the guitar. Leonard is crushed, and Tony realises he'll have to tell Lilian.

At the Horrobin residence Brad has been hogging the bathroom, which Chelsea has been waiting to use it before setting off for college; he tells her that he messaged Paige last night and she has agreed to meet him tonight, which Chelsea realises explains him being so worried about how he looks. She has a quick gloat about having been right that he ought to ask Paige out, and makes Brad admit that she was. He is getting the train after college to go and meet Paige in Oxford for a pizza. Chelsea thinks it sounds perfect.

The mended guitar has been taken for Lilian to see and admire Leonard's craftsmanship, and Tony tells her that giving him the guitar for Christmas was a lovely idea. She senses a 'but', and he explains that he has no memory of ever having wanted a guitar, nor of writing the letter, and doesn't really want it now. Lilian is stricken: she was so pleased when she thought she was helping to make up for all the times he got presents he didn't want, such as a chess set instead of a toy car. He tells her that although he doesn't want it himself he has had a thought about the guitar: that it might be better handed on to someone else. The idea that he proposes to get rid of it slightly upsets Lilian until he finishes by saying that if she doesn't mind, perhaps he could give it to Mungo, so it stays in her family.

What he is to wear is on Brad's mind, and he consults with Chelsea; she asks what he is more comfortable in, and he says he isn't comfortable at all. She tells him he is worrying too much, and should go dressed as he was on the maths course. Paige obviously liked what she saw when he wasn't even thinking about it; he should just be himself. That's who she is expecting to see.

The idea of giving the guitar to Mungo has reduced Lilian to happy tears; she thinks it will give him a link to his Great-Uncle Tony. Lilian offers them tea, but fearing that he may be late to pick Jill up, Leonard looks at the carriage clock on the mantel, which Tony recognises as the clock that used to be Jack Archer's. It shows a time he can hardly believe, but he is reassured by Lilian that it stopped a week ago. Justin claims to be too busy to take it to a mender, what with volunteering at the shop, and she is going to have to do it herself. Leonard at once offers to have a look at it for her, though she does suggest clock-mending is a specialist job and he might not be able to: Leonard and Tony are sure that she won't lose anything if he can't. Tony offers the use of specialist screwdrivers, and the two men promise to do their very best.

Brad has got back from Oxford having almost missed his train home, and Chelsea has invaded his room, where he has taken refuge rather than going in to where Tracy and Jazzer are watching telly downstairs. Chelsea wants him to tell her how it want, and he says he is surprised because he had a really good time and he didn't think he'd be able to. He was proper nervous on the train there worrying about whether Paige would turn up, but in the end she got to the pizza place before him even though he was early. He then starts to dissect the evening and says he ended up having a lot of fun. Paige is really great, good to talk to. Chelsea is worried in case they spent the whole time talking about maths, but he reassures her that they talked about themselves and their families as well. And Paige liked his outfit, and she looked amazing. Chelsea promises to keep quiet this time about what he has told her, and is just really glad it all went well; Brad decides to text Paige to check she got home OK, which Chelsea says is a nice touch, seeming to mean it rather than mocking him. It sounds like he and Paige had an amazing time. Brad says that honestly, he can't wait to see her again.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 17th January, 2023

Justin is a snake-oil merchant and Brad is distressed.

Characters: Justin, Jim, Chelsea, Brad, Rex
Credited scriptwriter: Daniel Thurman
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

As Alan leaves the village shop Justin emerges from the back of the shop and announces he is done in the stock-room; Jim is dubious, but apparently the empty boxes are broken down and put to be recycled, and the only mouse that had been caught in one of the mousetraps has been disposed of in the rubbish. Justin now wants to man the till; he is keen to serve the public, but Jim is not very keen to let him, saying that customer service is a fine art requiring a delicate touch. Justin assures Jim that he knows what he is doing, and explains to him the difference between up-selling and cross-selling; he is sure they could do with shifting more stock, and Jim ends up defending the poor takings over recent months, but also suggests that some people do just want a packet of mints and a chat and don't care for the hard sell. Under pressure, he agrees that when the next person comes in Justin can demonstrate his alleged skills.

On the bus back from college Brad has been silent and obviously depressed; Chelsea worms out of him that he hasn't heard anything from Paige, in spite of his having sent her two messages, one last night and one at lunch-time. She's read them but hasn't replied, and he is afraid he's said something wrong and put her off somehow; he wants Chelsea to read his messages and check there is nothing in them that might have upset Paige: she is to be honest and tell him if anything he has written might have put her off, anything that comes across as a bit weird. Chelsea reads them and assures him nothing is wrong with them and there is probably a really simple explanation for the silence. Then a message comes in; it's from Paige.

Before he comes to the counter, Jim wants to give Justin a word of warning about the way Rex shops, with a list and definite idea what he wants,. When he comes over to the till all he has is floor-cleaner. Justin asks whether he needs it for the boat, and he explains that he is staying at the Rookery [or not; Kate thought in December that it is The Hobbit. Chris] with Jakob's brother Erik, and tells them what has happened there: the red wine Erik has broken on the kitchen floor has stained the grout between the tiles pink. Justin suggests that as well as the powerful cleaner he has already bought, it might be an idea to buy some baking soda (or bicarb) and white vinegar, to increase his chances of success; also bleach, and a top quality scouring pad, and some rubber gloves. They have all these things.

Brad is sitting alone in the dark and freezing cold on the village green, and Chelsea is worried about him. Eventually he tells her that Paige isn't interested, and he know this because she has accidentally sent him a message intended for one of her friends. Chelsea is not convinced how bad it is until he shows it to her: it says, 'Met up with the lad from the maths course. He's sweet and everything but dot dot dot It's definitely not going anywhere. Don;t know how to tell him though.' Brad is distraught, and Chelsea tries to comfort him, saying that Paige doesn't even know him and it's not his fault. He says miserably that he really liked her, and Chelsea hugs him.

The hard sell from Justin continues, culminating in a pricey bottle of white wine (Chenin Blanc) to drink instead of red. The total bill is £32.97, a lot more than Rex was expecting when he came in for one item. When he has left, Jim thanks goodness that Justin never went into politics because if he had they would all be done for, then admits that the shop might benefit from Justin's salesmanship. He nearly quadrupled Rex's weekly spend. If even a handful of customers spent an extra five pounds a week, says Jim, the shop's future would be in no doubt.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 18th January, 2023

Brian is being browbeaten, Erik bamboozled and Lee bluffed.

Characters: Helen, Lee, Brian,Stella, Justin, Jim, Erik
Credited scriptwriter: Daniel Thurman
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

At their house in the Beechwood development, Helen and Lee are discussing what sort of day each has had, with Lee offering to think about dinner once Helen has claimed exhaustion. Mabel has left a jumper under the bed in the spare room at Bridge Farm, which Pat has posted to her, and we discover that his daughters stayed at Bridge Farm for the whole of Christmas week and had a wonderful time; Anisha agreeing to them being there for such a long stay surprised Lee. He hopes to have them more often; he'd love to spend more time with them. Helen suggests asking their mother if they might all go on holiday together, his children and hers, at Easter. Lee decides to ring his ex-wife about the idea as soon as she is home from work.

Farm tech is apparently 'racing ahead' and the tech show has inspired Stella; Brian is very happy for her but advises her not to get carried away. He is not particularly impressed about the new disc drill she is enthusing over, nor at all sure that it will really save them money. He understands the salespeople have persuaded her, but before she can get into the full swing of her spiel or make him read the brochure he cuts her off because he has to answer his phone to Jennifer.

The art of conning the customer is being imparted to Jim by the medium of role-play: he is to remember that people may come in with a definite idea of what they want, but Justin feels it is his and Jim's job to widen their horizons. Then a customer does come in: it is Erik Hakansson, instantly recognisable to Jim by his family resemblance to his brother. He is looking for a nice bottle of red wine, and Jim puts him off the idea, which horrifies Justin; he should be thinking of the profits! Jim says he is thinking of poor Rex, then proceeds to enthuse to Erik about the Chenin Blanc.

After finishing his call Brian comes back, and Stella berates him for interrupting her important sales-pitch to talk to his wife. Nothing urgent, then, says Stella; he suggests that it was important to him. She tells him sharply that she was trying to talk to him about something important to all of them, to which he replies that he thinks he has heard all he needs to; she fails to take the hint and continues with what amounts to a sales pitch until he first asks whether they have her on commission, then insists on being told the actual cost of her chosen new drill, 150K over two years, and comments that she does like trying to spend his money. She tells him sharply she is his farm manager and they need this drill, to which he responds that he's sorry, it's a no from him.

The phone call with Alisha is going very wrong; Lee is yelling at her, and she hangs up on him. Helen implores him to talk to her, and discovers that the reason for his fury is that the children's mother is taking Mabel and Evie to California. Helen assumes this is for a holiday over Easter, so she suggests they can all go away together in the summer instead, but no: Alisha has been offered a permanent tech position in San Francisco and is moving there to live, taking the girls with her.

Three bottles of wine instead of one have been selected by Erik, and Jim then says he thinks that Kirsty might appreciate some chocolates as a token of his appreciation for her showing him round the area; Justin is clearly surprised when Erik buys boxes of both soft centres and truffles at Jim's urging, then escapes before he can be sold anything more Once he is safely outside the shop door and out of earshot, Justin gloats that Jim has cracked it and they will make a formidable team.

Helen is trying to talk Lee down from his rage, and his conviction that Alisha always tries to undermine him. The reason she allowed him a whole week with his daughters was that she spent Christmas in California sorting out somewhere for them to live. Whether he likes it or not, she is doing this. Helen points out that Alisha can't just take his children out of the country and emigrate without his consent. He is still completely furious, and determines that he will refuse his permission: there is no way he is going to allow his children to be taken away.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 19th January, 2023

Erik is insouciant, Pat and Helen are concerned, Lee is inconsolable but determined.

Characters: Rex, Erik, Pat, Lee, Helen
Credited scriptwriter: Daniel Thurman
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The wine-stained grout in The Hobbit's kitchen has been weighing on Rex's mind; he is still trying to eradicate that pink stain. Erik finds him there on his knees and walks into some rather bitter comments about it; he says they have done their best, and Rex asks 'we?' He left the cleaning stuff out hoping Erik would take a turn, but Erik sees no point in even trying and talks about his busy day seeing an old buddy in Felpersham for lunch and having Kirsty over to dinner. This really doesn't calm Rex down much. Erik tells him that he needs to relax, and if Jakob happens to notice, Rex should just say it was Erik; this is also no help. Finally Erik says ruefully that he really didn't mean to upset Rex, and Rex admits that it isn't entirely about Erik: it's just that Erik reminds him of Toby, which means he is behaving as if Erik were him; stupid, he knows.

The horrible shock that Lee must have had is getting lots of sympathy from Pat, who wonders whether he has spoken with Alisha again. Lee thinks there is nothing to discuss, though Helen agrees with Pat that there is a lot to talk through. When Pat can see he is not going to accept it, he asks why he should when they are his daughters too. He is definitely going to fight it with everything he's got, and to that end has today started to look for legal advice. After he goes up to read Jack a bedtime story, Helen tells Pat it's the first she's heard about him getting legal advice, and feels he is desperate to get control of the situation. She is worried about how he is approaching it all, and can't see things ending well.

As well as being told he reminds Rex of Toby, Erik has been treated to a description of Toby as neglectful and lazy. He and Rex used to share a place and the wine stain feels very familiar. Nothing has ever really got properly resolved between them, just builds up. Erik says he gets it, and that in some ways Rex reminds him of Jakob, and Jakob drives him mad with his fussiness. Rex speaks of someone being just thoughtless, never malicious just with his mind elsewhere, and as the older brother feeling the need to apologise for him. Erik says that he and Jakob are very different and his visiting while Jakob is away is perfect for Jakob, because he doesn't have to deal with him. Erik then asks where Toby is, and when Rex says he moved away from the village last year and he misses him, thinks that he and Toby would have got on. After saying he'll come to see Jakob, perhaps, and that he and Rex should meet up in The Bull some time, Erik wants a loan of Rex's Marigolds: it's his turn to tackle the stain.

The question of it being a fantastic opportunity for Alisha and her girls has not apparently occurred to Lee, as far as Helen can tell, or perhaps he doesn't want to think about it; Lee just wants to put a stop to it. Helen wants to be as supportive as she can but she knows how ugly things can get. Lee just isn't seeing the bigger picture right now: he's too wrapped up in his anger. Pat thinks she is right, and can see how difficult it is for her. She offers to have a word with him, but Helen feels she must talk to him herself. Pat advises her to tread carefully.

Table salt as an abrasive has been tried by Erik to no particular effect; Rex now seems relaxed about the stain, and thanks him for trying. He's had a call to tell him that Serendipity has been fixed, and he is going back there soon, so Erik and Kirsty can have the place to themselves for supper. They agree they will miss seeing each other, and that they can always meet at The Bull. When Rex mentions that Erik has hit it off with Kirsty, who is clearly into him, Erik makes it clear that it is casual, nothing serious, and he is certain Kirsty feels the same as he does. Rex now has yet another thing to worry about.

The television is switched off so that Helen can tell Lee what to think I mean sorry tell him that she doesn't think Alisha is being vindictive; she thinks Anisha has reasons other than that for wanting to move somewhere that offers opportunities for the girls as well as for her. Helen says she's not trying to hurt him, she's just trying to stop things from getting out of control to keep things amicable between all of them. She doesn't want to upset him, but he clearly is upset, even tearful. He explains she has told him nothing he doesn't already know: he can see why they would want to go to California, at their age so would he have done, but he can't bear to let them go; he wouldn't be able to cope if he couldn't see his girls. He has to fight this move, he can't let them leave; she'll stand by him through it, won't she? When she murmurs 'yes' he asks her to promise, and she replies that of course she will.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 20th January, 2023

Daughters absent and present, and fathers whose place is in the wrong.

Characters: Kirsty, Kate, Adam, Lee, Tony, Stella, Brian, Helen
Credited scriptwriter: Daniel Thurman
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

While Kirsty was leading a guided walk Kate turned up to talk to her about Erik, who has left a note and the key to the Rookery [Hobbit dammit. Chris] on her doormat. She is deeply apologetic about the way he has left Kirsty flat.

Outside the Bridge Farm shop Adam encounters Lee, who has been buying Bridge Farm Yoghurt as a bribe for a patient at The Laurels who doesn't like doing her physiotherapy. While they are talking Tony comes up and says he will be checking the Anguses shortly but first has to help Johnny service the milking unit; Adam promptly volunteers to help Johnny. Adam tells them he has just had a call from Jennifer, who is having a high old time in Stratford with Lilian, then goes off to find Johnny. Tony asks Lee how he is, to be told 'not too bad'; Tony says he and Pat will do whatever they can to support him and sympathises with his not wanting to lose his daughters, suggesting that they might not want to go and leave him and all their friends behind. Lee thinks that's a good point and says he would have them there in a heartbeat, though Alisha would object; Tony says persuasively that it would have to be the girls' choice. He adds that he thinks they might be dreading the move – but Lee would have to ask them. Lee eagerly says that he will.

The tine drill has suffered stone damage and Brian finds Stella examining it. She takes the opportunity to tell him that she has had an email to tell her that the deal to spread the payments on a new drill over three years will only be on the table till the end of the month. Brian is unimpressed; 'talk about every trick in the book', he says. She wants them to rush into the purchase; she is more than ever convinced that they need the new drill, though what new evidence she has is unclear: she says she has been reading about it. They will be in a better position regarding the new BL contract if they have it, she says, again without any evidential basis. Brian says she has said enough, and he has certainly heard enough, then asks whether she has been speaking with Justin, which she emphatically denies; she did see him in the audience at the conference, though.

Kirsty is reassuring Kate that she really didn't have to worry; she was with Erik when he got the call asking him to come early to his next job, and knew all about his departure. They had a nice fling together and then said goodbye. It was exactly what she needed, a bit of fun. Kate is somewhat taken aback and says she thought that Kirsty might be developing feelings for him, when that was all she wanted; Kirsty confirms that Erik isn't really relationship material, or not for her anyway: too unreliable. Kate got the dependable brother, who will be back on Monday and Kate can't wait to see him.

The idea of the girls coming to live with Lee and Helen has been put to Helen, who clearly doesn't want to say no but wants to say yes even less; she temporises by talking about whether Alisha would allow it, and whether the girls would want it, while Lee enthuses about it being a solution to the whole problem. Lee tells her Tony suggested that the girls have a right to a say, which doesn't please Helen much: she says there is a lot to figure out. Lee just feels that it would mean he didn't have to fight; Helen points out they would have to consider Henry and Jack in all this. Lee enthuses that they all have such a good relationship, and anyway he isn't asking for a final decision; he just means, in theory, so he can sound things out with the girls. Helen feels that it's a big decision; he says it could work. Would she at least give it some thought? She agrees that of course she will.

Stella is insisting that Brian must back her about the drill, and he is pointing out that it would be a massive outlay in uncertain times; while she claims to appreciate that, she insists that it makes environmental and economic sense for Home Farm and for the BL contract. To keep that, they will have to demonstrate they are buying new kit. She continues to quote a sales brochure; Brian continues unconvinced. She spins a line abut her reasons for having gone into farming and her passion for farming in the right way; Brian tells her that he has heard her and he will consider it, but that's as much as he is promising.

Helen dismisses Tony back to the Anguses, having torn a strip off him for planting the idea of custody in Lee's head; he apologises and says he didn't mean to interfere, but she isn't letting him off that easy: it's a pretty big thing just to drop into the conversation, she tells him crossly. When he asks what if Mabel and Edie do want to stay, she comes back with, 'Exactly. What then?' She clearly does not in the least want Lee's daughters living with them, and Tony having seen them happily together for a week doesn't make her feel he was entitled to think they would be happy together for longer than that. Tony sighs and agrees. They'd have to move house, she explains to him, and she just is not sure it's what she wants. Tony ruefully admits that he can see that now. She goes on to say that it really frightens her, and it's not something she ever saw happening: she didn't think she'd be in charge of two teenage girls on top of everything else. The unfortunate Tony, who is now aware just how badly he has blundered, sympathises for all he is worth and says that he does understand, but Helen carries on to point out that she has been there with Greg's daughter and really doesn't think she could do again. Tony saying 'then don't' merely makes her get more upset about how she is to tell this to Lee, and go into a fugue about how supportive Lee has been to her and the boys, and how the boys get on well with Lee's daughters so she is the only obstacle. Tony tries unsuccessfully to talk her out of this deliberate [yet phoney. Chris] self-blame; it remains all about her and how she feels, and Tony is yet again left apologising and grovelling about her situation, which is somehow his fault.

Erik did say in his note that he had left The Rookery [Hobbit. Chris] spotless, but Kate didn't believe him and so has roped Adam in to help clean the place; when they find it clean after all, Adam suggests that perhaps Rex had a hand in that, out of gratitude for being rescued from the freezing narrowboat. Kate says he sent her some flowers, and a lovely note, which really helped cheer her up: when Adam makes sympathetic noises, she says she is really worried about Noluthando, but expects to feel better when Jakob gets back next week. Seeing a bit of Erik really made her appreciate Jakob, but she still wishes she were able to be with her daughter. Adam suggest they could call her together; they are family, after all.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 22nd January, 2023

Brian is late, and so, it turns out, is Jennifer.

Characters: Adam, Alice, Kate, Brian, Justin, Lilian
Credited scriptwriter: Tim Stimpson
Director: Jeremy Howe
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Adam is buttering carrots for the family supper, having made roast potatoes to Jennifer's recipe, with Alice watching him while Martha and Xander play in the next room. They are waiting for Kate and Brian, and Jennifer has sent a picture of her and Lilian sipping champagne in Stratford. Kate arrives on time, which surprises them, and has good news: Jakob has bought her tickets to Durban to visit her children. This time next week, she'll be there.

Brian is talking with Justin, whom he has interrupted while he is eating, about cereal futures and the volatile economy; he wants to know what Justin is planning for Damara, since it would be interesting to know what other farms are doing: investing in more equipment, for instance. Justin instantly realises that he has something specific on his mind.

The fact that Jakob has gone on from his conference in Belgium to visit a friend in France is being exclaimed over by Alice, but Kate is sanguine about it. Adam comes in to turn down the temperature of the Yorkshire pudding [at this point stout party suddenly collapsed. Chris] and they go on talking about Kate flying out to Durban on Saturday, with Adam wondering about cover for Spiritual Home and worrying about over-cooking the mushroom Wellington he is making for Kate. Kate continues miserising over Noluthando, whom she just wants to cuddle and comfort about her relationship break-up and thanks to Jakob will be seeing soon. Adam starts to express concern about Brian possibly causing supper to be over-cooked and Alice offers to ring and hurry him up.

Meanwhile Brian is still chatting with Justin and failing to turn down a slice of cheese with quince jelly; he has now told Justin about Stella insisting on getting the new drill, and Justin seems to be in favour of doing so, because in the long term they need low-till to protect the soil, and the disc drill Stella wants will chime perfectly with that aim. Now the machinery is available to make low-till practical on a larger scale, it is a good idea. Brian is still worried about affording it, and how big an improvement it is on the one they already have. Justin tells him about the feeling of the BL board, which since he is a member of that board Brian doesn't know, and that if Home Farm had the most up to date equipment they would be better placed to keep their contract. Brian says 'I see' in an enlightened tone, and Justin offers him a glass of wine to go with his cheese and crackers, then hears a mobile buzzing and asks whether it is his or Brian's. It is Brian's, with a call from Alice which he just misses, and than Justin's goes as well: it's Lilian.

At Honeysuckle Cottage Adam has decided to serve supper in spite of Brian's absence, asking Kate to drain the [buttered! Chris] carrots, while Kate looks forward to it being summer in Durban and taking Noluthando to the sacred caves of the Basotho to shed themselves of the past [sic] and begin their relationship anew. As she enthuses, Adam's phone rings, and when he answers it, his cheerful comments to Brian about just plating up are silenced by what he hears; he says 'Warwick' and 'don't worry, we'll find you' and that they will have to work out what to do with Xander and Martha but they will be straight there. While the others immediately wonder whether Brian had has another attack, Adam rings off and then tells them that no, it's Mum: she's collapsed. They're rushing her to hospital now.

At the hospital Lilian is being hysterical to Justin about Jennifer having just been on the floor and Lilian being able to do nothing for her, while he tries to be a calm and steady shoulder for her as she asks him whether Jennifer knew she was in the ambulance with her. He says the doctors know what they are doing and Jennifer is getting the best possible care. Then the rest of the family arrive and ask how mum is; Brian is talking with the doctors now, Adam is parking the car, and Lilian says it is something to do with pressure on Jennifer's heart and her lungs filling with fluid and that she wasn't with her when she collapsed and they had to come and find her. Justin says they must all try to be positive, just as Brian comes in; both his daughters ask how Jennifer is and what the doctors have said, and his silence tells them that it is bad news even before he says that the doctors said they did everything they could and Lilian wails 'dear Lord!' Brian, seeming dazed, says it was her heart: it wasn't strong enough. Alice and Kate repeat 'mum' several times and Brian tells them he is so sorry: his Jenny is gone.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 23rd January, 2023

The news is spreading, but not as far as London.

Characters: Adam, Brian, Lilian, Alice, Tony, Stella, Chris
Credited scriptwriter: Tim Stimpson
Director: Jeremy Howe
Editor: Jeremy Howe

A phone is sounding, and Adam asks Brian whether he would like to him to answer the phone: it's Stella but she rings off before he can get to it. Adam says that he feels Brian sitting alone in his bedroom is not the best idea, and Tony is downstairs; when the doorbell rings he says it will be Lilian, and goes to answer it, saying he will see Brian downstairs.

Lilian has arrived with Jennifer's case, which Alice takes, and is greeted in the living-room by Tony; they are both still struggling to believe it. Peggy is staying at Bridge Farm in Helen's old room, which Lilian is glad of; she says it wouldn't be fair on Kate for Peggy to stay at The Lodge. The siblings embrace, and Lilian thanks him for breaking the news to Peggy last night, which she could not have done; he tells her that Pat and Johnny went with him. Lilian is concerned that Peggy has lost all her spirit, and says that it is every parent's nightmare to have a child die. Tony agrees, without mentioning that he does actually know about that. Alice comes in and thanks Lilian for collecting Jennifer's case, and Tony is shocked when he learns that Justin took her back to the hotel to collect her and Jennifer's things; one of them could have done it, and it must have been very distressing for her. She tells him that she needed to do it: she couldn't bear the thought of Jennifer's belongings sitting there waiting for some stranger to pack them up. It was good to have something to do. Adam comes in and Lilian asks him for a hug; Alice asks sharply if Dad is coming down, and Adam is not sure: he didn't even come down for the video call with Debbie, and when Lilian asks whether he has spoken to Ruairi she finds they have not yet managed to get in touch with him. Alice has been calling and calling and has left voice-mails asking him to ring back, but nothing. Lilian asks whether they could try anyone else, uni friends perhaps, but Alice doesn't know any of them and hasn't got their contact details; Adam makes excuses for him, saying he is very preoccupied with his life in London. Tony suggests that if Brian isn't coming down, perhaps Tony should go up to him instead, and Adam agrees that would be great and offers to bring a cup of tea. Alice goes to collect Martha and take her to bed, repeatedly assuring Lilian that she will be fine on her own with her child and won't be having a drink.

Upstairs Tony has gone into Brian's room and is sharply told not to sit where Jenny sits. He immediately puts his foot in it again by mentioning not being able to get in touch with Ruairi, but Brian just says they should let him enjoy his life a little longer: he's the lucky one because as far as he's concerned Jenny's still alive. Then he breaks down, and Tony reminisces about Jennifer, saying that he can't imagine how it is for Brian but they are all there for him, which causes Brian to leave the room abruptly. Tony anxiously but unavailingly pursues him.

Meanwhile downstairs Lilian is telling Adam about the weekend at the spa hotel with Jennifer and what they did there; Adam is somewhat dampening but says it's nice to know she was happy. Lilian agrees that she was, and there just wasn't any sign, at least, she doesn't think there was, though Jennifer was tired when they got back in for tea. If she'd had any idea! Adam rather wearily says that he knows, but Lilian goes on asserting that she didn't know anything was wrong. She is interrupted by Tony, in the hall, trying and failing to stop Brian from going out. Adam goes to find out what is wrong and is told that Brian is in a state and that it is Tony's fault; when Tony says he'd best go after him Adam stops him and says that he will go.

Brian encounters Stella, who demands an answer from him about the drill; he declines to speak to her and gets in his car and drives off. Stella asks Adam what's going on.

Alice is glad to be with Martha; Chris tells her he and his family will do everything they can for her, and stumblingly expresses his grief for someone who even if she was no longer his mother-in-law was still Martha's granny, and how he is going to miss her. Alice manages not to cry, then explains to him that she is all right and is not going to turn to drink. He asks after Brian, and Alice says he isn't really speaking to anyone; then she says she is really worried about Ruairi, who still doesn't know.

With good reason, Stella is appalled she banged on abut the new drill to Brian in the circumstances; Adam reassures her that it's not her fault no-one had told her what had happened, and apologises for that. She reassures him that he doesn't need to explain, they must all still be reeling, then asks when it happened; Adam tells her, and she likens it to the same thing having happened with her dad, who also died from heart failure with no warning. Adam says she will understand then that they could all just do with a little space. He suggests that it is probably best not to try to contact Brian for a while: she'll just have to handle things on the farm, which she says she will do. He thanks her and as she calls after him to tell Brian not to worry, shuts the door; she announces 'I'll take care of the farm' to empty air.

Explaining to Chris about the absence of news from Ruairi is making Alice angry; he didn't come for Jennifer's birthday, just sent a card, which hurt her somewhat though she pretended otherwise, and though he sends Mum the odd text now and then, for the rest of them it's as if he's decided to ghost the whole family and Alice doesn't think anyone's heard from him for months. Chris suggests that in that case it's no wonder he hasn't been getting back to her, and she says that they need to let him know; she can't tell him what it's about, that's not the sort of thing you can put in a message. It's going to crush him when he finds out. Chris asks if she's got an address for him, and when she says she's sure she could find it says he will drive her there so that she doesn't have to go on her own. She thanks him: that would be amazing. No problem, says Chris, and then suggests they can leave Martha with his parents, get a bite to eat and drive down tonight.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 24th January, 2023

Kate talks about Kate, and Alice stumbles on Ruairi's secret.

Characters: Chris, Alice, Ruairi, Kate, Jakob, Julianne
Credited scriptwriter: Tim Stimpson
Director: Jeremy Howe
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Apartment 36, Somewhere Posh In London, has been located and Alice is sure they have the right address. She rings the entryphone repeatedly and Chris wonders if perhaps Ruairi's not in: if he's clubbing he might be out for hours. As they are about to go and wait in the car Ruairi picks up and wants to know what Alice is doing there. He is suspicious and wants to know how she knew he was there; she tells him that Jennifer had his address. He doesn't want to let them in, and when she says there is something she needs to tell him merely tells her to go on, then, but she insists she needs to do it face to face. He buzzes her in and says seventh floor; Chris offers to wait in the car, but Alice is unsure she can do this on her own.

At Willow Cottage Kate is offering Jakob some hot chocolate, with oat milk that Jennifer got for her, while Brian is asleep upstairs. She is grateful to him for staying for a while to be with her; she is finding being there very strange and keeps expecting her mother to walk in and tell her she's put fresh sheets on Ruairi's bed for her. He asks how Noluthando and Sipho took it. She won't be going to Durban after all, but says it was lovely of him to arrange it. Jakob is taken by a picture of a dreadlocked Kate at a road protest in Kent, which Jennifer had framed; he says Jennifer must have approved of what Kate was doing, and Kate tells him that Jennifer definitely didn't approve at the time, because Kate had just dumped her GCSEs and walked out without telling anyone where she was going.

Ruairi sounds world-weary about what Alice has to tell him, but after Alice has made him sit down and tells him in simple words that it's bad news, it's about Mum and she's died, his cool pose is shattered and he reacts with denial, saying no repeatedly and that she can't be. Alice tells him it's why she has been trying so hard to reach him, and he reacts with anger, culminating in telling her not to touch him and pushing her away, which causes Chris to tell him to sit back down. Ruairi wants to know who he is to tell him what to do since he is no longer part of the family, and tells him to get out; Chris remains calm and replies that Ruairi needs to take a step back, but Ruairi has become intent on getting them out: it's his place, they have said what they had to and they can now go. The shouting rouses Julianne, who comes in and asks what on earth is going on.

School photos have come out and Kate explains that she got expelled a few months after it was taken. She hadn't told him she had been expelled, but then he hadn't told her about his brother; it turns out that he noticed the red wine stain in the grouting and she says she and Rex hoped he'd forgive Erik, which makes Jakob ask what Rex has to do with anything and when told he stayed there for a few nights because of an emergency, to say that explains it then; when he got back the place was almost up to his standards. He then apologise for what this implies about Kate and tidiness. Kate remains subdued and doesn't make a fuss about that, before telling him that there won't be any more photos of her in the next album, because she kind of stopped appearing in family photos. Jakob is sure there must be a few, but she says no, not really, because she was off taking drugs, staying out late, or joyriding with her boyfriend, which shocks Jakob. She says she looks back and thinks what she put Mum through, and he tries to comfort her. She says she spent all that time being angry and trying so hard not to be like Mum, and the truth is that Jennifer never stopped being there for her; through tears she says maybe they were more alike than she thought.

Tea has been made by Julianne, and she gives it to Alice and Chris; she offers alcohol, which they refuse, and when she asks Ruairi what they have he sulkily replies that they said they didn't want anything. She and Alice talk about the situation, and when she tries to include Ruairi he is inarticulate and monosyllabic, so she asks about the family and is glad they have siblings living nearby. Ruairi tries to get her to go back to bed, but she is more concerned about Alice and Chris than her own lack of sleep, and then when they say they have to get back because they have a child to look after, suggests that Ruairi could go back with them. He doesn't at all want to, but she tells him firmly that she can find someone else to go with her to the Barbican and she can't expect him to in his state of mind, and sends him off to pack a bag.

Kate is now doing a lot of self-examination about her adolescent behaviour, which Jakob tries to explain as everyone rebelling against their parents but Kate is convinced now was her trying to wake Mum up, to remind her that she wasn't always a WI middle class housewife, but a single mother and author of a published novel – which is more than Kate has ever achieved. One time, Jennifer even admitted to having had a Che Guevara poster on her wall; Jakob expresses surprise. When Jakob asks 'So what happened?' Kate replies that Dad did, and that may have been why she was so angry. He thinks she could be onto something, and it backs up his hypothesis about why Jennifer hung the photo of Kate at the protest: she admired her for standing up for what she believed in. Maybe she wished she could have been more like Kate. Kate starts to sob, saying that she can still feel her mother always there supporting her; she just wishes she had said thank you, and now she never will.

As they wait for the lift it's clear Ruairi now can't wait to get away, but Julianne calls him back and when he goes, Chris asks whether he is a provincial hick or is this really weird: did they even know Ruairi was seeing someone, and did Alice see how old Julianne was? She just wants to get out of there; she's fine, but they just need to get back to Ambridge. Ruairi comes back, and as the lift arrives makes them promise never to say anything about Julianne; Alice swears on her life, and Chris says they are not there to spy on him. They have a long drive ahead of them; let's get him home.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 25th January, 2023

Everyone is falling apart and falling out.

Characters: Pat, Tony, Lilian, Kate, Adam, Alice, Brian, Ruairi
Credited scriptwriter: Tim Stimpson
Director: Jeremy Howe
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Pat has made some soup for Tony to have in a flask; he is out with his railway, and Peggy is about to go home. Tony reckons Mum will need more support from now on, but it's Lilian about whom Pat is worried: she's very jittery and just burst into tears when they were talking about nothing in particular in the kitchen. Tony points out that they have all heard her crying and it would be strange if she hadn't, but Pat thinks that actually being there makes it worse. Tony points out she is still in shock, but Pat says Lilian is convinced she could have done something, which Tony exclaims is ridiculous: there's nothing anyone could have done. Pat has decided that Tony needs to say something to Lilian: it's not fair to keep her in the dark; he protests, but as they are arguing the point Lilian comes out say she has left Peggy listening to the radio and will be off now, though she will come back later in the evening. Pat says 'Tony' in a minatory voice, and he asks Lilian to wait a bit: he's hardly seen her.

It seems that Susan has brought round a vegetable chilli, which Kate plans to heat up; Adam is well up to his usual level of enthusiasm for that idea. They have run out of vases and the Eagletons' beautiful bouquet has had to be stuck in a measuring jug. Alice arrives and asks if Adam and Kate are both OK, to which they reply in a more (Kate) or less (Adam) affirmative way. Ruairi is in his room upstairs refusing to come down and claiming he has uni work to do; Kate suggests he ought to ask for compassionate leave, but Alice thinks it may be his way of coping. Kate wants to know how he reacted when Alice broke the news, and Alice tells her he was upset, which Kate seems dubious about. Kate continues to probe, and Alice seems prepared to answer, saying she didn't meet any of his friends . Then Adam makes a distressed noise and says he has found Mum's medical notes under some cards: Kate says they must have been given to Brian at the hospital. When they look at them, they find that not only is the cause of death given as pulmonary oedema, there is a further reference to an underlying condition, which puzzles Alice: Mum didn't have any conditions. At that moment Brian walks into his children's silence, wanting to get to the sink, and Kate asks him what 'aortic stenosis' is.

The guilt Lilian has been feeling about having gone off to the spa instead of staying with Jennifer is all coming out, and Tony is struggling to bring it into perspective and telling her she can't blame herself for doing what they were there to do, relax and enjoy themselves. Lilian says Tony is not listening to her and becomes hysterical about what Jennifer did for them as children, then says she wasn't there for her and if she had been she might have noticed or realised something was wrong. Tony knows that calling for help sooner wouldn't have made any difference and firmly says she must just take his word for it: there was nothing she could have done. Aghast, Lilian wants to know what he means.

While Brian points out none of them is a medical expert, Alice is consulting Dr Google and finds out that aortic stenosis is a chronic disease of the aortic valve [which I bet none of them could find on an unlabelled chart of the heart. Chris] and reading out details from a medical site. Brian tells her to put her phone away, and when she doesn't says 'yes, yes', which leads to Kate asking him if he knew Jennifer was ill. He says that she doesn't understand: it wasn't his choice. This leads to outcry from Alice and Kate, while Adam tries to calm them and says they should just let Brian speak. When he does, he tells them their mother didn't want them to know. She didn't think she was going to die, not yet anyway. Adam says that he must have noticed something was wrong, to which Brian replies 'Of course.' He explains that he made her go to the doctor because she had been getting breathless and her ankles were swollen, and that's when he found out. It was before Christmas, early November he thinks. Kate and Alice are outraged, and Adam again calms things, asking whether there was any treatment; Alice says indignantly that it says here they can replace the valve, and Brian says that he begged and begged her to have the operation, but there was a problem with her arteries which meant that while for most people it would be absolutely fine, for Jenny the only option was open heart surgery and she just didn't want to put herself through it. Alice is indignant: is he saying that Jennifer refused to have the operation which could have saved her life? Brian says they told her she might have years, months at least, and she just didn't think it would be so soon; he adds that he wanted her to tell them all, and Adam demands to know why she didn't want them to know.

Meanwhile, Tony is catching the same indignation from Lilian: why did Jennifer see fit to tell him and why didn't she tell everyone? He says it's his fault: maybe she started with him because she thought he wouldn't get too emotional, but when she saw how upset he was she just couldn't bear to go through that with the whole family. She made him promise to keep it to himself. Lilian is furious that he didn't decide they should be told anyway: she clearly wasn't in her right mind, did he not think that she might need the love and support of the rest of them? She was Lilian's sister too and Lilian deserved to know. At this point Pat intervenes, thus revealing that she knew as well and making Lilian even angrier; she is now not prepared to listen to any argument and just wants to leave. She needs to be on her own.

Because Brian says that Jenny felt they had all been through enough this past few years, Kate exclaims that was because of Alice, and Alice is horrified to be blamed; voices are raised again, though Adam yet again speaks in the voice of reason, and Brian points out there has also been his health and the trouble with the farm, which Adam at once takes personally as an accusation against him; this time Kate is the one who says they ought to stop being quite so sensitive and get back to Mum, which leads Adam to point out the heartache Brian caused Jennifer by letting chemicals leak into the Am, and Kate forcing them to sell their own home, and there is another round of blame-casting to which Brian calls a halt by shouting 'Oh, stop it! Stop it all of you!" He explains that all he was saying was that things were on a more even keel, with Alice clean, Adam settled at Bridge Farm and Kate with Jakob, and Jennifer didn't want to spoil it. And she was right, wasn't she: now look at them! These last few months have been awful, but she was spot on; no wonder she wanted to keep it a secret. Then Ruairi suddenly intervenes, saying Jenny always was amazing at keeping up a facade: how long has he been there, asks Alice; long enough to hear them all tearing strips off each other, he replies, then suggests they can knock themselves out, and leaves. Alice rushes after him in spite of Kate saying that she should leave it.

When she catches up with him he tells her that it's kind of typical for their family: lies, deceit. After all, he's living proof. You've got to hand it to Jenny: she's had the last laugh. When Alice comes back with the suggestion that he is right, they ought to have less secrets, so if he wants to talk about Julianne... he says nice try, but Jenny was the only thing that held the so-called family together, and now there's not much hope for them: they've already started to fall apart.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 26th January, 2023

David is supportive, Ruth gives advice and Stella seizes an opportunity

Characters: Ruth, Stella, Adam, Brian, Ruairi, David
Credited scriptwriter: Tim Stimpson
Director: Jeremy Howe
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Gentle and reasonable voice in play, Ruth is advising Stella and agreeing that she really does need an answer now about the new drill. Stella wants at least to know who is in charge; she could just keep things ticking over, but the way prices are rising, next year a hundred and fifty thousand pounds for it might seem like a bargain. Ruth suggests talking to Adam, or perhaps Debbie, but Stella isn't sure how much say they have; all the decision making has been between her and Brian. Ruth tells her that everyone's voice counted when she was representing Ruairi, but Stella is right: if she will be running the farm single-handedly, she needs to know where she stands.

Soft and tactful voice to the fore, Adam wakes Brian to talk about the funeral service and ask whether Jennifer made any plans. When Brian says no, exasperation overtakes tact as Adam castigates Brian for their having had 'all these months' to plan it and not having done so. Brian, exasperated, says it wasn't an easy thing to talk about, and Ruairi comes in looking for his phone at that point. Adam stomps off to book an appointment to register the death, saying he thinks it best if he does it from home, and Brian asks Ruairi please to wait, then explains to him that although he knows they would have liked to be told, Jenny was scared, not of dying but of seeing what it would do to them all, particularly to Ruairi. Ruairi assures him it's OK, it's not like he's been around; he didn't even come back at Christmas. Brian says that if he had known he would have done, but it's all right: Jenny understood. Ruairi doubts it, but Brian says of course she did: she loved seeing how he'd thrown himself into university life and taken advantage of all the opportunities there; she was incredibly proud. Ruairi starts to cry and asks if he actually thinks so, that Jenny was proud of him? As Brian is about to reassure him the phone rings and Brian feels he has to go and answer it.

Jennifer having been diagnosed with a heart condition back in November had been shared with David by Pat, which astounds Ruth; Pat wanted to warn them before they saw Peggy, who didn't know. When Ruth asks who did know, he says just Brian and Tony and Pat. Both Ruth and David seem indignant that her family did a good job keeping it a secret, when all the two of them were worrying about was Brian's angina; David is even more worried about him now and thinking maybe he should drop by Willow Cottage, to which Ruth agrees though she warns him that Stella says Brian looks completely crushed. David finds this unsurprising and wonders where he will be without Jennifer; meanwhile he needs to go and buy some fence posts; life goes on, eh, says Ruth. Just as David is about to leave Ruth sees Ruairi at the top of the lane. [What lane would that be, looking from the yard at Brookfield? Chris]

The hard sell for the drill is now being pitched by Stella to Adam, who assumes that Brian has agreed to it and says that she should put in the order; he feels none of them is anywhere near coming back to the farm yet. What they need is the peace of mind of knowing it's all being looked after; she is employed by the partnership to manage Home Farm, so she doesn't need to wait to make big decisions. Take the reins; they'll all be grateful.

Ruairi is being made a cup of tea by Ruth, who asks how things are at home, and when he says not great says at least they're all together, and she was so pleased when she heard he was back amongst his family, which is where he belongs. Ruairi seems less sure of this, and she decides to pump him, then asks him if it's about Jennifer being ill, which came as a shock to them as well; Ruairi says he is staying out of it, while Adam, Alice and Kate are all using it to get one up on each other: who hurt Jenny the most, who's to blame. Ruth's shocked 'Really?' is covered by him saying he's not getting involved. They all want to be the one that mattered most. When Ruth tells him that he mattered, he says that he hurt Jennifer just by being born; let's face it, he's not even related to Adam and Debbie, and only half-related to Kate and Alice; as far as all of them are concerned, he'd already lost his mum. Ruth is outraged on his behalf even if, as he says, none of them has actually said that; she makes matters worse by telling him that he can feel the loss of Jennifer, which leads him to ask what right he has to be upset when all he ever did was cause her pain? Ruth tells him that's nonsense and that Jennifer loved him just as much as any of the family, and she chose to take him in. When Ruth tells him he has as much right to grieve as anyone, he flabbergasts her by saying that he's not grieving: he doesn't deserve to. As soon as the funeral is done, he's going straight back to uni; he only came home because of Dad. He doesn't belong here.

David catches up with Brian, who is out for a walk and says it's like being in some awful pressure cooker back at the cottage; he needed to get out for a while. David talks about the rooks, and Brian says this is where he asked Jenny to marry him, on January the first nineteen seventy-six. He tells David all about that, while David makes the right responses, and they laugh together, then David says being married to a farmer suited Jennifer very well. Brian remembers when he first arrived, and Jenny helped him with a house warming party after he had Home Farmhouse done up, and how she loved the house and shone there, then breaks down: he lost her home, after everything, and made her spend her last years stuck in a cramped little cottage. David comforts him as best he can, while he says the children all blame each other but that is what broke her. David is firm that what mattered to Jennifer wasn't the house: it was Brian, and the family; Brian is not comforted, saying she deserved so much more. How will he ever manage without her? David agrees that it's going to be hard, but Brian is strong; he's got them, he's got his friends, but all Brian says is no, no, no. Jenny was his one saving grace, and without her he is nothing. He can't imagine how he is going to go on.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 27th January, 2023

Privacy is breached and a toast is raised.

Characters: Kate, Alice, Jolene, David, Neil, Tony, Brian, Adam
Credited scriptwriter: Tim Stimpson
Director: Jeremy Howe
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Kate comes in to where Alice has been crying over unpacking mum's case from the hotel. The clothes still smell of her and Alice can't bear it: why didn't she tell them? How can she just be gone? Kate has been thinking about it and says perhaps they just need to accept this is what Jennifer wanted; she'd obviously thought a lot about how it was, about her condition.... Alice cannot accept this possibility and denies it, asking angrily whether Kate really thinks this is how her mother wanted to go, not being able to say goodbye properly? Kate has to admit that is not what she thinks; she was just saying it was a decision Jennifer made for herself and they should respect that. Alice's reply to that is an emphatic 'No!' followed by a claim that Jennifer didn't do it for herself, she did it for them, because she knew they'd crumble, saw how Tony reacted and spared them that for as long as she could – so if it is Alice's fault it's Kate's fault as well, it's all their faults. Ruairi's got it right: as always, Mum was sacrificing herself to hold the family together. She doesn't let Kate utter a full sentence in her eagerness to say that they all let Mum down and now they can't ever put it right.

At The Bull, David and Neil are having a pint of Shire's each with David worrying about Brian and fearing that nothing he said was any good to him; Jolene intervenes with her view that he may not have thought so at the time but Brian will remember it and be comforted. She recalls how she felt when Sid died: at first nothing helped, and she couldn't take anything in; everything went on round her and she wasn't a part of it. Perhaps just knowing there are people out there who care about him will help Brian. David still wishes there were more he could do, and Neil chimes in asking 'Who says there isn't?' When David wants to know what he means, Neil asks if David plans to be there for a while.

In the Willow Cottage garden Tony is beating his breast to Brian about having got so emotional and caused Jennifer not to want to tell anyone else; Brian impatiently tells him he reacted the way any decent brother would, and it meant a lot to Jenny, which surprises Tony. Brian explains that she loved Tony, and what Tony and Brian did was love her back by keeping her secret as she asked, and they shouldn't feel guilty about it. Then Neil comes in through the gate to tell Brian he has plenty of friends to support him, to hug him as a mate and tell him Jennifer was a wonderful woman, and then to invite him for a drink down The Bull.

Sitting in the garden is apparently not acceptable to Kate, who tells Adam she can't believe Brian is doing it; Adam wearily says it's better than Brian being in the house 'getting in the way'. Adam is going to the funeral directors tomorrow, and Kate says she will go with him. He assumes Mum wanted a traditional church funeral, and Kate starts to try to plan in more detail, but Adam just wants to get the ball rolling, and snaps at her again. He and Kate then have a small row about him being unable to find a form she has put into a file where she is putting all the death-relevant bumph; she claims she told him she was doing so. Alice arrives to break up what shows every sign of becoming yet another fight between Aldridge siblings, whereupon Adam and Kate both decide it is time they went home; Alice asks them to wait for a moment and look at something she has found. It's a journal Jennifer kept. As she starts to say 'Listen to this' Adam breaks in to ask whether she is sure they ought to be opening it, if it is private, but is shouted down by Kate, and Alice starts to read aloud Jennifer's thoughts on making sense of the imminence of her own death.

Taking Brian to the pub may be a good idea, though Brian has his doubts; Tony and Neil are persuading him to stay for one drink as he has agreed when David comes over to express delight he has made it and Jolene welcomes him effusively and asks what she can get him.

Alice is now delving into Jennifer's impressions of Brian when she met him, and that she married him because he saw her and not all her baggage. She starts to cry, and Adam takes over reading Jennifer's recollections in the private journal he doubted they ought to open, still about Brian. Alice is surprised and says she never heard Jennifer talk about Dad like that before, and Kate says 'me neither'; Alice wonderingly says 'She really did love him, didn't she?' Adam continues with his reading of his mother's musings, which are now about the lessons this life has taught her, in an emotional voice until he too breaks down and says 'sorry'. Alice takes over and reads about one of Jennifer's favourite poems being Browning's Rabbi Ben Ezra, whose first verse is quoted; light dawns on Adam, who exclaims that is why she didn't tell them she was ill: it wasn't because she was putting herself last. Alice chimes in and says Jennifer was putting the good things first, and Kate says they should try to remember that instead of bickering, and Adam agrees, saying Jennifer didn't want them to be afraid, and they can forgive her for that – can't they?

A photograph taken on New Year's Day 1953, which was found in a drawer upstairs at The Bull and then put up behind the bar, is being shown to Brian: Tony is in it as a toddler, Jennifer just shy of her eighth birthday and Lilian aged six, with their parents, Jack Archer and Peggy, all grouped outside the pub. Jolene wants Brian to have it as a sort of tribute to Jennifer: she did grow up there, after all. Neil wants to buy Brian another whisky, but he refuses it; he's about ready to head home, if they don't mind. He thanks Neil for twisting his arm to get him there, and is about to leave when Jolene proposes a toast: 'to your Jenny'; 'To one of Ambridge's most remarkable and beloved residents, Jennifer Aldridge!' after which everyone starts to clap.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 29th January, 2023

Two men want to mulch, one man wants to wallow.

Characters: Ruairi, Alice, Pat, Adam, Tony, Lilian
Credited scriptwriter: Tim Stimpson
Director: Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Ruairi has walked into the master bedroom at Willow Cottage and caught Alice with Jennifer's diary, and is outraged about the family having read it, especially since Brian doesn't want them to. Alice says that Brian said he didn't want to read it but said nothing about them not doing so, and tries argue that it's like the tape from Siobhán which he was happy to hear, but he says that was different: it was meant for him. Alice is sure Mum intended them to read her journal and tries to tell him what is in it, or get him to read the bit about his arrival, then starts to read that to him, but he says forcefully that he doesn't want to hear it.

At Bridge Farm Pat and Tony have offered to let Adam stay off work for as long as he needs; he politely declines their offer and says he would rather be working, mulching the edible forest garden beds; Tony, who is also clearly craving distraction, wants to help with planting the dwarf apple trees and the fruit bushes. Adam is going off to visit Brian, and when Pat asks how Brian is says very withdrawn: he sits staring at the TV without watching it. Tony says it was good they got him down the pub on Friday, and Adam agrees. Pat wants to know when the funeral is, but Adam doesn't know yet: they will probably wait until Noluthando and Sipho are able to get to it. Pat and Tony offer that if there is anything they can do, or anything he needs, he is just to say the word, for which he thanks them. As he is about to leave Lilian comes up on her way to visit Peggy and asks him to stay for a bit, but he explains he wants to get to Brian's and makes his escape,with Lilian saying he is to see he takes care. Pat suggests that since it is chilly, they should go inside.

The boot is now on the other foot: Alice has caught Ruairi reading Jennifer's journal. She tells him how he is allowed to feel, as she so often tries to do, and wants to know which bit he is reading; as she tries to take it from him to look where it is open, he tells her to get off him and stop pretending she knows how he feels when she doesn't, then throws himself out of the room in a despairing way, colliding with Adam in the doorway. Adam wonders if he should go after him, but Alice has worked out which page he was looking at and reads the section about Ruairi's arrival to Adam, and how his becoming real was what helped Jennifer to start forgiving Brian.

In the Bridge Farm kitchen Pat is trying to insist that Tony must be honest with Lilian and tell her how he felt about having to keep Jennifer's heart condition secret; they have to clear the air. Lilian comes in to put some cups ready to wash up, and Pat tells her that she is not to go yet because Tony would like to talk to her. Her response is unreceptive, and his explanation that he was miserable about being made to keep Jennifer's secret, and he told Pat only because she would be able to keep it to herself, goes down with Lilian like a lead balloon and gives her yet more reason to be hurt and offended that he didn't trust her – though from what she says it becomes clear she would have done exactly what Jennifer didn't want and tried to bully her into having the operation she had decided against. She is not prepared to accept any explanation from either of them, and has another rant about her situation and her unhappiness with it, and her anger that they have managed to get Mum on their side: all she knows is that none of them were there. Tony ends up telling her that he was Jennifer's brother, and that he is grieving too, but she is unable to see anything past the end of her own nose for the time being. He had months and months to come to terms with it, says Lilian [or at least eight weeks, from mid-November to the third week of January. Chris] and he is not to dare to claim to be worse off than she is. Pat tries to get her to stop attacking her brother and fails.

There is to be no peace for Ruairi as Alice insists on coming into his room to talk about what she has read in the journal about him and knows he has also read. He is very unhappy because he read it as saying she would have preferred it if he had never existed, and though Alice tries to impose her interpretation of it all on him and tell him what he should concentrate on, all he can talk about is his neglect of Jennifer and his guilt about not having told her things, and staying away from her even over Christmas when there were so many things he needed to say; Alice points out that she feels the same even though she was in Ambridge all the time and with Jennifer. She suggests inviting Julianne to Ambridge and clearly doesn't believe that it was his flat and Julianne was just staying over; he tries to distract her by suggesting one of them should answer the doorbell when it rings, but she says that Brian or Adam can do it and ploughs ahead. Eventually he becomes infuriated by her prying into his his private life and says it is his business, and she is to keep her nose out.

The doorbell that rang was Lilian, who is now bent on talking at Adam about her feelings, which Pat and Tony, Peggy, and Justin don't understand: that's why she has come to him. He does his best with her outpouring, which assumes that he, Kate and Alice feel the same as she does about having deserved to be told Jennifer was unwell, until he says he felt that way too but now they have come to terms with that having been Jennifer's decision. Lilian is badly taken aback, and he says he thinks they all ought to come to terms with the fact that this is the way Mum wanted it. She refuses to accept that, and tells him that since it is clearly only her who feels this way, she'll be all right on her own. As Adam sighs resignedly, she walks off down the path.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 30th January, 2023

The one-woman pity party continues, with added G&T.

Characters: Justin, Lilian, Susan, Lee, Lynda, Pat
Credited scriptwriter: Tim Stimpson
Director: Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

At a quarter to nine Justin wakes Lilian to tell her he is off to do his shift at the shop; he then suggests various ideas for things they could do when he gets back, but she is too angry about her grievance against Pat and Tony to be interested even in shopping at Underwoods, and is then unpleasant to him for trying to distract her from it.

When Justin arrives at the shop Susan is bemoaning to Lee the lack of information given to Peggy about Jennifer's condition, but he immediately springs into action to sell Lee the double-sized packet of batteries, sixteen instead of eight for only a fiver more. Lee agrees, and Justin takes over the till to ring it through. As soon as Lee is gone Susan asks him about Lilian, but he distracts her by suggesting the display is not as optimised as it could be.

After eleven, Lilian (in her robe, which presumably means dressing gown) has opened the door to Lynda, who turns down the offer of a G&T and is sorry to have got her out of bed. Lynda is planning to post a tribute to Jennifer on the village website but didn't want to do so without running it past one of the family; also she has some points of information she would like checking. She reads it out to Lilian; it is sententious and clearly intolerable to Lilian who, to Lynda's dismay, bursts out crying.

Lee has sought out Pat, who is feeding her goats, in order to ask her about Valentine's [sic]: he's booked a table at the Mexican [sic]in town and would like Pat to mind the boys for them, as she immediately guesses. She agrees and he starts to leave, but she stops him: she has been meaning to ask, what's the situation with Mabel and Edie? Helen has said they might be having them at half term. Lee joyfully says that they are, but when she asks about the move to the States says that will be going ahead unless they have other ideas. She denies trying to grill him, but says that with everything else that's been going on they haven't had a chance to talk. Has he got time for a cuppa?

The idea for the new display is now being deprecated by Justin as not original; he says supermarkets have been doing it for ages, to which Susan responds that this isn't a supermarket, it's a village shop. He has moved the cleaning things and bin-bags to a corner and replaced them near the front of the shop with locally-made fudge and luxury biscuits. She is resistant to his notions about impulse buys, on the grounds that she has been managing the shop for years and her customers know where to find things. He suggests that they see how it goes, and if after a couple of weeks it has proved unpopular he'll put everything back. She remains doubtful but allows it, so he finishes putting out the artisan chocolates while she enquires after Lilian and sympathises about her having taken it hard. She says plonkingly that having family round you is what you need at times like these, which gives Justin an idea.

Over tea, Lee explains his plans for half term and how he proposes to show his daughters that boring old Borsetshire isn't so bad, to counteract their mother having got them all excited about California. He lists attractions he intends to take them to, and when Pat seems slightly dubious about the upheaval that two more people in the family would cause, especially to Henry, tells her that he has of course consulted Helen. He does know there are reasons to be specially careful, and in any case they might still want to go with their mum, but he does realise that whether they go or stay he can't do it without Helen by his side

All Lilian's past traumas, including the death of her first husband Nick (Lester Nicholson) when she was twenty-two, are being poured into Lynda's sympathetic ears, with emphasis on how Jenny was always there for her. Lynda understandingly says that Lilian could always lean on her, and Lilian miserably agrees and wants to know why Jennifer couldn't lean on her about the problem with her heart, but told Tony instead. Maybe they weren't as close as she thought. Lynda asks whether Lilian really needs another gin and tonic, and Lilian agrees that perhaps she doesn't; Lynda goes on to suggest that sometimes it's the people we are closest to that it's hardest to be honest with: after the fire she couldn't bear to tell Robert how she genuinely felt. Sharing it with him was too painful, as though it would make it more real. When Lilian protests that she did it in the end, Lynda asks who is to say that Jennifer wouldn't have done the same? She just thought she had more time. At this critical moment Justin gets home and Lynda gets ready to leave, and Lilian tells her the tribute is beautiful and thanks her for going to so much effort [sic]. Justin then comes in, saying they will both want to hear that he has just been on the phone to James and suggested they come up for the weekend; Lilian gasps, and he adds that since Mungo has a teacher training day on Friday they will be there on Thursday evening. Lynda is pleased, but Lilian is horrified and angry: what was he thinking? Does he think she is in any fit state to host guests? When he protests they aren't guests, they're her family, she says he should have asked her first, and she doesn't want to see them when she's barely coping herself; she rushes away telling him he is not to touch her and he is heartless. Justin apologises to Lynda, who says she quite understands, and asks her what he is to do? He's invited them now; he can't tell them not to come.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 31st January, 2023

Plates go by the board, a board goes on the floor, and Ruairi goes back to London.

Characters: Ruairi, Alice, Chelsea, Freddie, Brian
Credited scriptwriter: Tim Stimpson
Director: Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

In what he fondly thinks is privacy, Ruairi is on the phone to Julianne, telling her he will be back in London by Friday, a week being about all he can take of Ambridge. Then Alice walks in, saying sorry, she came up to say lunch is ready. He asks if Julianne minds him calling her back later, and turns to Alice, who first says she didn't mean to interrupt and then asks if it was Julianne, which produces an exasperated noise from Ruairi. She says she was only asking, and he's definitely going back to London then? When he says yes, tomorrow, she starts to argue about it, saying she thought he was working online, asking him at least to stay till the weekend and start back on Monday, and refusing to accept that he wants to go. He asks what use his staying around is when they're not going to start playing Happy Families, and she leaps on that to say none of them is happy and wrong-foot him by asking what's so wrong about wanting them to be a family? She says that if she had somewhere to run away to she'd probably want to too, and that she is worried about Ruairi. It's only been a week; is he sure he's ready? He says he'll be back for the funeral: now they know it's a month away, he might as well get on with his life. This shocks Alice, but he says if lunch is ready they're only wasting time up there.

As Freddie starts to clear a table, Chelsea comes to stop him saying she was going to do it; he says he just thought he'd lend a hand and she says, 'Well, don't!' on the grounds that he will do her out of a job; when he asks if she can do an extra shift on Friday she says yes, Trent already asked her. She wants to know if she's in trouble or something, and he says no; his hovering is making her nervous. Eventually in an attempt to help her with some plates he causes her to drop them.

At lunch, Alice is making conversation about Lilian, and James and his family's visit not thrilling her; Ruairi grunts when expected but otherwise has nothing to say. She appeals to a completely abstracted Brian to say how old Mungo is now, and he manages to reply to her but says her mother was the one who was good at remembering people's birthdays. Alice says it's a shame Ruairi won't see them. Then she wants to make him join her and Brian in an activity, though he says he is going to see Ben that afternoon, and tells Brian that Ruairi will be going back to London tomorrow. She suggests a board-game, which Ruairi starts to refuse until Brian says it's a good idea and suggests Cluedo, to Ruairi's bemusement. When he asks if Brian really means it, Brian says he has hardly seen him and Alice says that's settled, then.

Custard has gone all over Chelsea's shirt, which she is cleaning. Freddie is glad it was no worse, and apologises, saying from now on he'll keep out of her way. It's just there isn't much for him to do: he's been shadowing Trent since last summer and there's only so much you can learn about being a catering manager. And there isn't anything he can teach Chelsea. She takes that amiss until he explains it was straight, she's great at her job, and he just feels a spare part. Chelsea tries to cheer him up by talking about his DJ-ing. She encourages him to do something else if he's bored with The Orangery: go and run the gift shop or something. He's a Pargetter; what's stopping him?

While Alice makes some coffee Ruairi sets up the Cluedo board and Brian reminisces about Cluedo games past; when Brian starts to talk about Jenny, Ruairi interrupts to talk about the present game. Brian tries to tell him that Jenny loved him, and Ruairi disputes it, saying that she taught herself to, and getting angry with Brian, saying he's made a story about Jenny to tell himself or he wouldn't be able to stand his own guilt. Brian remains patient until, when he says you can tell which on the notes are Jenny's, Ruairi says he didn't deserve her, neither of them did, they are both just selfish, when he tells him he has had enough of this now and then tries to continue to talk about the game; Ruairi knocks it to the floor and says they both ought to be ashamed, not grateful, then rushes out.

At Lower Loxley Hall, Freddie explains to Chelsea that the reason he isn't being more assertive is that Mum doesn't trust him, and you can hardly blame her: with his record he's just lucky to have somewhere to work. Chelsea casts scorn on that: he did a bit of dealing and has been clean for four years, and Elizabeth will have to let him do more eventually: he's like Prince Charles was, the heir apparent, and he's going to be running the whole place one day. He should go and tell her he's ready for more responsibility; Chelsea points out everything he has already done, but he still thinks it's no good: Mum is used to running things on her own, and doesn't want him. Chelsea indignantly tells him that if it's what he wants, he's going to have to step up, set his sights on what he wants and not let anything get in his way.

Once again Alice invades Ruairi's room, wanting to know what's going on, and finds him packing to leave. She tells him he can't, and as she pleads with him Brian too comes in asking what's going on. Ruairi asks him to get out of his way, and Brian says he is sorry for whatever it was he said, and Ruairi asks what was it he said? To make him leave? Brian doesn't know, and Ruairi says, 'Exactly. And that's the problem.' Alice puts in her oar again, and Brian tries to talk him out of it, but Ruairi is certain: he has always been the family dirty secret, and that is why he has to go. As Alice asks him not to leave like this, he says that at least in London, he doesn't have to pretend to be something he's not; in London, no-one cares at all. He slams the door behind him, and Brian groans.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 1st February, 2023

Brian will not be moved, but Tom's apple trees need to be.

Characters: Adam, Tony, Tom, Harrison, Brian, Natasha
Credited scriptwriter: Tim Stimpson
Director: Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Mulching the beds has made Tony out of breath, and Adam offers to finish on his own; Tony says he thinks they ought to put in some herbs, which they can make ten pounds a kilo from. He reckons they could pick four or five kilos from the beds every fortnight, which Adam thinks a good plan. Tom comes up, ostensibly because he has come to check the garlic and, when Adam's phone rings and Adam goes away to answer it, asks whether Pat and Tony can babysit the twins on Valentine's day, since he and Natasha have hardly had a night out together since Nova and Seren were born. Tony says he's sure they can, abstractedly because he can hear Adam sounding worried. Adam rings off saying he can be there in five minutes, and when Tony asks if everything is all right, says no, not really: someone's reported Brian to the police. Tony and Tom exclaim in horror and Adam says he isn't sure what the matter is, something to do with Home Farm house, but Harrison thinks it would be a good idea for a member of the family to be there. Tom offers to go with him, but he says he hopes it will turn out not to be too serious and makes his escape, with Tony asking him to let them know what's happened. When he is out of earshot Tony and Tom agree that doesn't sound too good, and Tony says he hopes Brian is OK.

When Adam gets to Home Farm he is greeted by Harrison, who thanks him for getting there so quickly; he explains that Mrs Gill was upset because Brian was sitting in the front garden staring at the house and not moving, and she was in the house by herself and her alarm was understandable. Mr Gill is on his way home, but in the meantime Harrison asks Adam if he can talk to Brian and explain he needs to leave: he has tried but Brian simply blanked him. Adam is concerned that Brian might be arrested, but Harrison says unless he gets violent or abusive it's a civil matter, then asks how Brian has been coping: has he shown any signs of instability since losing Jennifer? Adam says no, except that they are all still reeling, but then manages to mention that Brian and Ruairi had a row yesterday: he wasn't there, but it sounded pretty nasty [according to Alice, presumably. Chris]. He will stay and talk with Mr. Gill; Adam says he will do his best, and Harrison wishes him good luck, then suggests he can take his time: the best outcome is for Brian to leave of his own accord.

The bench on which Brian is sitting is apparently new; when Adam has sat down next to him he comments on that, then starts to talk about the changes he can see in the garden, trying to get Brian to talk to him; he asks if Brian does know he's trespassing, to which Brian replies irritably that of course he knows, and Adam doesn't have to talk to him as if he were an imbecile: he hasn't lost his mind. He just wanted to see the house. Adam says that now he has, it's probably time to leave; when Brian says he's not going anywhere, Adam allows his usual exasperated way of saying 'Brian' to escape, to which Brian asks crossly what they are going to do, drag him away kicking and screaming? Have Harrison throw him into back of a police van? In a patronising voice and as if talking to a mental defective Adam says no, of course not, but it is the Gills' property now, so they have no right to be there. Brian instantly responds by saying, 'Right, off you go then, but I'm sitting here on this bench, and I'm not moving until I decide it's time to leave. Is that clear?' He then tells Adam that he and Jenny lived in that house for over forty years, and he needs to be sure it's the way he remembered it. He's staying right there.

Tony has brought out the raspberry and redcurrant bushes for Tom, who has been hard at work planting the first espalier apple trees and levelling the training wires for them with a spirit level; Tony breaks it to him that he has put them in the wrong place, in the middle of the bed instead of at the back. Tom is aghast, and Tony says the basic rule of farming is always stop and think before doing anything. It will be easy enough to move them. Tom is then rung by Natasha, who wants to know where he is; Tony goes off to make them a brew, and Natasha says he sounds more cheerful, which Tom attributes to it always helping to have something to do. Natasha then asks whether Tom has been into the Bridge Fresh emails recently and, when he says he hasn't since first thing, tells him they've had an approach from a modelling agency, a woman called Nell Jensen, who saw the family photos he put up and just had to get in touch. Tom assumes she wants Natasha to be a model, but no; when he asks who then, she says she'll come over and they can have a chat about it.

Brian is reminiscing, and Adam allows him to do so and just agrees with the things he says, until he gets on to some self-blame: maybe Ruairi was right, maybe he was just selfish and didn't see how much pain Jenny was in when he brought Ruairi home just because he didn't want to see; then Adam disagrees with him about it and insists that Ruairi doesn't know what he's saying and they knew what they were getting into. Nobody hid how they felt, as Adam knows because he was there. He tells Brian about a passage from Jennifer's journal on the subject of all the aggro she got when she had Adam, but wouldn't have done a single thing differently. This somehow proves that Brian isn't selfish and Ruairi is just grieving. Mum chose to raise Ruairi, and Brian chose to be Adam's step-dad, for which Adam will always be grateful.

Tom is over the moon about the agency wanting Seren and Nova, but Natasha isn't sure and points out the flaws, such as their having to pay for a professional portfolio of pictures, and the agency perhaps spinning them a line about the amount of work they may get; as is usual when Tom has an enthusiasm, he is not really amenable to reason and insists they will get plenty of work because they are so adorable. Natasha says they ought not to get carried away when they haven't even spoken to this woman yet, and when Tom is certain that they ought to, agrees that they will give her a call. Tony comes in at this point, but Natasha manages to cut Tom off after him exclaiming to Tony that he won't believe it, as a result of which Tom lamely says he has planted the gooseberries in the wrong place as well.

Adam is now in the lead on reminiscences about the family and garden, when Harrison comes over and says the Gills have said Brian can stay there as long as he likes; now Harrison has explained the situation to them they are really very sympathetic. Brian promptly decides he has been there for long enough; it's all just memories now, and Jenny's not there. It's time to go home.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 2nd February, 2023

A bit of pampering works wonders, and Pat is persuaded against her better judgement.

Characters: Lilian, Lynda, Chelsea, Natasha, Tom, Pat
Credited scriptwriter: Tim Stimpson
Director: Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Lilian has gone to visit Lynda at what is clearly an inconvenient time; she talks over her hostess about her own need to vent to someone about Justin and the arrival in three hours of James and his family, not letting Lynda get a word in edgeways until Chelsea comes into the room in search of a towel and Lynda reveals that she is about to have her hair cut.

Natasha is of the opinion that Brian is lucky he got away without them taking further action [for what Harrison was clear was not a police matter. Chris] but Tom has been told by Adam that the Gills were kind and understanding. Natasha has not been doing Summer Orchard work on her afternoon off but researching into child modelling, and proceeds to outline (and then ignore) the drawbacks. She has discovered the cost of a top-notch photographer for the portfolio pictures: eight hundred pounds. Tom is decidedly taken aback.

The hair-cut is underway and Lynda is explaining that she feels Mungo is undisciplined: apparently he tried to run over the neighbours' cat in his electric toy car, Chelsea says her mum would have had a fit if she'd tried that. Lynda tries to get comment from Lilian and fails. Chelsea fetches the mirror and Lynda likes the result of her labours; Chelsea offers various other things she could do and Lilian, who is not really interested, says she thinks it is fine as it is. When Chelsea says she'll pick up her stuff and get out of their way, Lynda asks if she is in a rush to get away.

Use of the credit card to pay for the photoshoot is now being argued, with Natasha saying it would be an investment and Tom showing less and less enthusiasm for the idea. He isn't even sure Seren and Nova will get the bookings to pay eight hundred pounds back: it seems a big outlay with no guaranteed return. Since Natasha has spoken to the photographer, who has a free slot on Monday, his protests have little chance; she just wants to know if he can get cover, since they both ought to be there. Before he has committed himself, Pat comes in to tell them she has just sent them copies of a photo she has taken of the twins, which she describes as fabulous. She says they are so photogenic, and Natasha seizes the opportunity to tell her that she and Tom were just saying something similar.

As well as the extra shift she has been offered at The Orangery, a chance to earn some more has come Chelsea's way: Lynda is talking Lilian into having a hair-cut, and since she missed the one she had booked on Monday, she eventually agrees to a little spruce-up. Lynda says she hasn't been to anyone else since the first time Chelsea did her hair. Lilian agrees to have her hair freshened, and as Chelsea gets going starts to talk to her quite cheerfully. An anecdote from Chelsea about a mannequin head being yanked off the table by too enthusiastic hair brushing reminds her of a time that Jenny lost a valuable earring which got caught in a hairbrush by a girl at Fabrice's salon and pulled right off; they couldn't find it anywhere and after ten minutes they gave up and sat back down, whereupon it was found caught in Jenny's hair. Lilian laughs, then is reminded of Jennifer and starts to cry instead; the others sympathise as she says Jenny wasn't just her sister, she was her friend too.

The idea of a photoshoot is a surprise to Pat, who readily agrees that she and Tony can cover for Tom and assumes it will be just a family portrait, in Borchester; when she is told the photographer is in Birmingham and is given the details about Seren and Nova having been head-hunted by a modelling agency she is rather less enthusiastic. Tom says he knows what she is going to say, and they have checked it out: it's all totally legit. She remains dubious, and asks whether it is really what they want the twins to be doing; her comment about it not being just about the money is drowned out by the enthusiastic Tom talking about how fantastic it would be for Seren and Nova to have something to start out with in life, what Natasha has dubbed a nest-egg. Pat reluctantly agrees Tony can cover for Tom on the farm if that is really what Tom wants.

Paying for Lilian's haircut has become Lynda's treat, and Chelsea has done a really good job; she is pleased with the extra money, which Lynda says she deserves. As she makes her way out Lilian thanks her, then when she is gone thanks Lynda too: not just for paying, but for talking her into it. She does feel more like herself. Lynda says it's no more than Lilian did for her during her recovery. She knows a haircut is not going to make everything better, or heal any wounds, but it can make it easier to face the world. Lilian gets a message on her phone: James and family are almost in Ambridge, and will be there in half an hour. She'd better get home. Lynda enjoins her not to worry: they are there to support her, everything will be fine.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 3rd February, 2023

Mungo is a handful and Ruairi is a drunken idiot.

Characters: Julianne, Ruairi, Lilian, Justin, Tony, Pat, Adam
Credited scriptwriter: Tim Stimpson
Director: Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Ruairi has kept Julianne waiting in a cab outside his flat for fifteen minutes and she is not happy about it. He makes excuses, and she tears him off a strip, pointing out that he was the one who wanted to come to this drinks party and she needs him to have his head together and to be witty and convivial there. He tells her that he would rather be with her than with his so-called family, and apologises for having kept her waiting: he was making himself look good for her, which she admits he has done. Just as they have started to be on a more friendly footing his phone rings: it's Alice, and he turns the phone to silent, saying that all that matters to him now is Julianne.

To Justin's surprise, Lilian has come into his study to hide the guitar that she gave to Tony behind his filing cabinet: Mungo has been rushing about the house with it, not even trying to play it, and anyway it is too big for him. Ruby is cowering in the utility room, and when Justin asks what James and Leonie are doing Lilian tells him that Leonie has been having a nap for the past hour and James has gone out 'for a breath of country air' and is probably in The Bull. She says she told Justin this would happen: they have been abandoned. So much for the support of her family! Justin saves what he was working on and tells her to go and have a lie-down while he looks after Mungo.

Using the twins in advertising seems exploitative to Tony, and he and Pat are definitely upset about the whole thing, but they accept that they can't change Tom and Natasha's minds; Pat just hopes they know what they are doing. Adam comes over to tell them the last of the apple trees has been planted, and they congratulate him on the forest garden; he says Tony has been responsible for it too, and Tom, and Johnny has planted some bushes, which has all helped since Adam keeps getting dragged away. Given this incredibly obvious opening, Pat asks how Brian is; Adam tells her that he hasn't been trespassing again if that's what she wants to know, and when she asks whether perhaps he might need some help if he is struggling says he doesn't think so: going to the old house is out of his system now. Not that they're not keeping an eye on him, especially now Ruairi is back in London. Pat reminds him that he is grieving too, so hard when he's having to deal with someone else's grief as well.

The party has proved too much for Ruairi, who is being hustled out of it by Julianne. He is clearly drunk, and has embarrassing Julianne by the way he was coming on to a man whom she tells him is a hedge fund CFO. She doesn't want him there any more and wants to know if he can get back to his apartment alone. He is drunkenly hurt and wants to know if she thinks any of it matters; it's just a big game, none of it's serious. She tells him to get himself in a taxi and go home.

Supervising Mungo has reduced Justin to a wheezing wreck; the Romans versus Barbarians game they have been playing was a bit robust for him but he was having fun, and and assures the censorious Lilian that they will clear up the mess they have made. She can't help smiling: his hair looks like he's been mauled by a hedge. In fact she seems in a better mood; she has been chatting with James, and it has been really nice, a little wander down memory lane. They thought of going out somewhere tomorrow. She admits he was right to invite James and Leonie: it is good to see them. As Mungo seems about to emerge from the lavatory Justin says he is happy to stay with Mungo and give her more time with James. She wishes him the best of luck.

It's starting to get dark, and the inhabitants of Bridge Farm are congratulating themselves and Adam on the interactive nature of the edible garden [you eat bits of it, it eats bits of you? Chris]; he goes to take the tools back to the yard. Tony is a bit abstracted and when asked by Pat, says he is thinking about Lilian and wondering which will happen first: fruit on these bushes or Lilian forgiving him? Pat is sympathetic but is sure Lilian will come round, in time. All they can do is carry on. Tony agrees, then says he has been meaning to check: Tom has asked them to babysit on Valentine's day. This catches Pat on the wrong foot because she has promised Lee they will look after Jack and Henry. She suggests he can go to Tom's and she to Helen's, and he has a counter-suggestion: all the kids could come to Bridge Farm. One way or another they'll manage. Tony says that he doesn't mind having to do things for their children: it keeps him looking to the future and he wouldn't have it any other way.

When Julianne lets herself into Ruairi's flat he is on the balcony, thinking, and she comes to find him. She asks if he is better now and he replies that he is fine; he didn't get the message she sent him because his phone is still on silent. She has to tell him that she thinks it isn't working any more: this thing they have together needs to be mutually beneficial, and she thinks it would be best if they called it a day. He protests and apologises, and promises he won't have too much champagne again, but she is unimpressed: he promised that it wouldn't happen this time. He says he is begging her: what's going to happen to him if she kicks him out of the flat with nowhere to go? He pleads for one more chance. She tells him that if she were to give him one more chance, emphasis on 'if', she needs him to take a break at least until after the funeral: she'll keep paying his allowance. His response is attempted seduction, but she's not interested: he is to get his head straight, which is the only way she is prepared to keep this arrangement going.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 5th February, 2023

Kate craves change, while Ruairi finds it unwelcome (and gets none out of Julianne).

Characters: Kate, Jakob, Ruairi, Julianne, Kirsty, Alice
Credited scriptwriter: Liz John
Director: Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

At the rewilding project Kate is busily counting her chickens for Jakob's benefit: they are hoping for dormice, and even nightingales. The latter impresses Jakob. She loves being at the rewilding, and even working for Kirsty. Jakob asks how she's feeling, and she accepts that he thinks she is sounding upbeat; in fact she is feeling strong: her grief is giving her new energy. She has been thinking about everything she has achieved in life, particularly her amazing children. She has a quick riff on the road protest and how she was fearless, and how the picture of 'the young me' is how she really is: she thinks that is when she had the most impact on the world. At this point Jakob, who is on call, gets silently summoned to the other side of Edgeley and she says she will go and find Kirsty and hope to plant more lime saplings.

Ruairi has turned up uninvited at Julianne's flat, and she is giving him the brush-off: she told him to take a month off, and doesn't know why he is there. He offers to fix her a drink, to which she agrees, but she tells him he has to go once he has. Ruairi talks about the dinner with Bill Nightwell that she is going to and whether she will manage to persuade Bill to make a deal; she tells him that is for her to worry about. Alice tries to ring him and he ignores it, and tries to make himself important to Julianne by telling her information about Bill that she seems not to have known: he and his wife plan to retire soon to somewhere near Ambridge. He wants to go with her and get chatting to Bill and his wife, but Julianne tells him she doesn't want him there. After his behaviour last week she can't risk it. She is not interested in his continued attempts to persuade her, and tells him to make himself scarce while she calls a cab. He is not required: she has booked someone else from the agency, a nice young chap called Alex or perhaps Alexis. Ruairi is shocked. [The listener is not. Gus/Chris.]

It's amazing that the the whole area will soon be brimming with wildlife, according to Kate, and Kirsty agrees that's the plan, then tells her that she's had enquiries about the cold-weather yoga classes, which of course are on hold. Kate says she wants them to use biodegradable tree-guards, but Kirsty says the plastic ones are more effective at the rewilding: they need maximum protection with the longhorns. Rather than argue the point, Kirsty says she is heading home, thanking Kate for her help and asking her to let her know when she can tell people the yoga classes are starting again. Kate thinks they should cancel the whole thing: she's just not feeling it, not just the yoga: everything. It's nonsense, really. She wants to know what use any of the things she offers is: Kirsty wonders whether she is all right, but Kate says she is just having a little self-reassessment.

Julianne is sorry if she has upset Ruairi, and he is having a tearful scene with, or possibly at, her, saying that he didn't think she would do this. She tells him they had agreed he would not be available for a month, and he says that he is available, and here; she is adamant that he is not invited at this time but she will ring him in a month: she will not take him to this event. Also, he is grieving and she is no good at dealing with that sort of thing. He exclaims that it's not fair, when she has said how good they are together, and starts to list things he knows about her such as her favourite vineyards, and she asks brusquely whether that isn't what she is paying for. He says he isn't doing it because she is paying him but because he cares about her, in fact he is starting to fall in love with her. She loses patience at that, and tells him he has to leave now. As she opens the door to show him out, he still protests that he is trying to tell her something; she comes back to tell him it is not something she wants to hear; when he says he just wants her to listen she tells him that is what his family is for: she is his employer, and it is simply not appropriate. This has run its course and it is time to call it a day. As he stammers, she says she regrets it has to be in these circumstances, but he has given her no choice. She will pay him for the month, while he makes other arrangements. Now she repeats, will he please leave her apartment.

As Kirsty gets home to Willow Farm Alice comes out of Willow Cottage, and Kirsty asks after Brian, to be told he is up and down. She is glad she caught Alice: she had a strange conversation with Kate earlier, and was told Kate wants to cancel the cold-weather yoga. Has she said anything to Alice? Kirsty doesn't want to cancel it, and won't do anything yet. Alice says she'll have a word tomorrow.

Meanwhile, Jakob is arguing that more participants at the yoga classes makes it more profitable and therefore worth doing, but Kate thinks they have become a distraction. She has to make some big changes in her life if she is going to achieve as much with her life as she did when she was younger. Everything that's happened recently is a monumental wake-up call for her.

Alice has just calmed Martha down for sleep and shut the door on her when Ruairi rings her and says nothing in reply to her first few sentences. He then claims to be fine but clearly isn't, and brokenly tells her he is outside Julianne's building and she never wants to see him again. Alice expresses her sorrow, saying that's awful. He doesn't know what to do, and she tells him to come home: if he is upset this is where he needs to be, and they all really want him. He says he doesn't know anything any more, and she tells him what she is saying is important: he needs to come home.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 6th February, 2023

Elizabeth blocks Freddie and Ruairi shocks Alice.

Characters: Freddie, Elizabeth, Alice, Ruairi
Credited scriptwriter: Liz John
Director: Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

When Freddie tries to have a word with Elizabeth she is too busy leaving a message for David to speak to him initially, and then explains she needs to clear the air between David and Vince after having forced them to have the disastrous meal together, but David is (very sensibly) being too busy to talk with her. She's tried going round unannounced, but he sees her car and goes away to work on his farm rather than be talked at. Freddie suggests she ought to give it time, but she thinks it has been long enough [over a month since Vince drove David and Ruth into walking out of the restaurant meal on 6th January, and three since he attacked Ben in The Bull. Chris] and she misses David. She then asks Freddie whether everything is set for their guest chef event on Thursday night; he replies that Trent and he have everything planned. She then says she has five minutes before meeting the volunteers: did he want to speak to her? He launches into his having thought about getting management experience and wanting to learn about every aspect of the business: he now knows all about the catering side, and when Elizabeth says he may do, when the full six months is up, points out it is up now, a fact of which she seems to have been unaware. She doubts him, and then when he says he wants to move on to something new, something that would be a challenge to master, she agrees and suggests shadowing Veronica in the shop for a bit. He rejects that suggestion because he wants some solid management experience. She claims that is tricky, then says he will have to leave it with her because she is going to be late for her meeting with the volunteers.

Alice has come to wake Ruairi with a cup of tea and offers to come back at lunch-time. He didn't want to go back to Willow Cottage, and she tells him he is welcome to her sofa for as long as he wants. She proceeds to quiz him about it being over with Julianne: did he say she threw him out? He explains he upset her and made her late when she was going out, and Alice is indignant: he is grieving, he's allowed to be needy. He explains Julianne has an important deal in the balance and he thought he could help, but he has screwed it all up. Alice asks if she knew he was trying to help, and he says of course, but now he'll have to find somewhere else to live, as he can't afford the flat now. Alice is surprised: he can't be broke, Dad gives him plenty and he has a student loan. He starts to enumerate ways he will save money, explaining that Julianne will no longer pay for his gym membership and new clothes, and Alice demands to know what he means. He tries to shut up, rather too late, and under Alice's questioning lets out the arrangement he had, which Alice says is not normal; he tries to explain, and makes matters worse. She says he will have to explain to her.

When Elizabeth emerges from the meeting Freddie doubts that she has solved the morale problem among the volunteers; they look ready to throttle each other. Cliff, who is himself not good with visitors, tells the others how to handle them, and there have been customer complaints about him, two last week alone. Elizabeth suggests that if Freddie wants a challenge, someone needs to lay down the law asap; Freddie doubts Cliff will listen to him, but Elizabeth is not prepared to drop her idea and says that if he does well with this, she will try and think how he can get more management experience. He jumps on this, suggesting he could shadow Glen, but she is definitely not prepared to commit herself to that.

Ruairi continues explaining and Alice continues to be shocked; an agency? For escorts? Ruairi says, for sugar babies, which shocks her again: he signed up for this? And being paid isn't part of being together, which was what she and Chris assumed they were when Julianne came out of Ruairi's bedroom. She skates round saying what she obviously thinks, and in the end Ruairi says Ben was more direct and told him he was prostituting himself. Except he didn't understand: Ruairi was in charge. Well, until Julianne dumped him. Alice, with rare (in her) understanding of realities, says Julianne didn't dump him: she dispensed with his services. She gets angry, and when he says he has made great contacts who will be useful to him when he graduates, asks if she can hear himself. That's his body, and he should have some respect for himself! [Pot, meet kettle. Chris] She decides she can't cope and walks out, with him trying to tell her she's got it all wrong as the door shuts behind her.

It seems that Cliff was too hard a nut for Freddie to crack and he may need to try again, as he tells Elizabeth when he goes to see her. He suggested that the visitors would spend more in The Orangery if they were left in peace there, but Cliff disagreed, maintaining that the longer they were in there the more they would spend, so logically, if he delayed their leaving ... She is not to worry though, because Cliff is not back on the rota until Thursday. Freddie suggests he might listen more if it came for her, but she says he agreed to take it on and she has every faith he'll manage it.

Ruairi has brought Alice a cup of coffee; she was outside for ages. She wants him to say he understands how sordid the whole thing is (to which he says 'maybe') and how harmful, with which he disagrees. He says he is sorry he was so upset last night, but Alice says he doesn't need to be sorry, he needs to open his eyes: Julianne is using him, exploiting him and, when he says that's not how it feels, tells him that he is financially dependent on her: how can that be healthy? Ruairi points out that it's over now so she doesn't need to worry, and she says she needs to know he's not going to do this kind of thing again; he takes the wind out of her sails by calmly saying obviously not. She tells him he is a bright, capable, caring young man bursting with potential; he responds that potential doesn't pay the bills. She starts to tell him he has to give notice on the flat and see if any of his mates has a room going spare; he says he would if he had any. He explains he isn't close to anyone at uni; she assumes that now he is no longer with Julianne he can make some friends, but he explains that he already tried, last year, but they all dropped away and he lost touch until in the end he was basically alone. This earns him a pep talk about deserving better than That Woman: he needs to meet someone and have an equal relationship, though when he says that's what he wants, Alice tells him she knows it isn't easy but he needs to make good decisions. He says he will try, and ends up apologising to her for being so needy, whereat she says he can be as needy as he likes as far as she is concerned. Whatever happens, she's there for him, just like Mum was.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 7th February, 2023

Freddie plays peace-maker, Susan is confounded and Kate is nostalgic for the non-existent.

Characters: Jakob, Kate, Stella, Joy, Freddie, Susan, David
Credited scriptwriter: Liz John
Director: Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Whilst he and Kate are looking for an injured deer Jakob suggests that they might invite Alice, Adam and Ian to dinner some time, and Brian if he feels up to it. Kate thinks it might be useful so they can discuss the funeral arrangements; Jakob adds 'and Ruairi now he's back', and Kate remarks that he is keeping a low profile at The Nest and Kate wouldn't let her visit him. Then they encounter Stella, who hasn't seen an injured deer – or perhaps a dog or a sheep, since the only evidence they have it exists at all is a client of Kate's with appalling eyesight who thought she saw something. Jakob is not pleased that Kate didn't mention that detail; Stella says she's been there for fifteen minutes waiting for Ed and has seen nothing. Ed is bringing saplings to plant for tree-canopy, and Kate promptly volunteers to help rather than go back to the surgery with Jakob, which also doesn't please him. Stella doesn't much want her help, but Kate is determined.

Freddie has been buttonholed by Joy at the shop as he waits to buy some Garibaldi biscuits, Elizabeth's favourites which Joy also likes. Susan has vanished and nobody is serving, and Freddie is in a hurry to try to catch David, who is chatting with Lynda on the green but clearly wants to get away. He has the right change but can't go without Susan taking it, so Joy offers to sort it out for him. He leaves just as Susan gets back, and Susan is put out and snooty, telling Joy that they do like to scan items for their records; it doesn't occur to her to scan another packet. She says is flat out in the shop. Joy congratulates her on having chosen Justin over her, since he's transformed the displays and also ordered the Garibaldis; Susan informs her that she orders the stock, and they always have Garibaldis when they're available. When Joy says she and Freddie had never seen them, Susan tells her Justin had moved them. Joy wants to know which naughty volunteer has let Susan down, and the answer is Justin, who has a lot less time to offer than they had expected. Joy actively doesn't offer to volunteer, and Susan is forced to ask her if she would still be interested, and also to say please, before she agrees that she would be. At that point she offers to do her trial shift right now, by which Susan is pleased.

Kate's help is being said to have been welcome, though Stella wants to get rid of her now Ed has arrived. Kate is reluctant to leave, talking first about bio-degradable tree-guards, which Stella has discarded already as an idea, then suggesting wild rose for hedge-gaps because that's a native species. Stella counters by saying they will have hazel and hornbeam arriving too. Alice starts talking about dragging Alice up to Oakbank field when Alice was little [when Alice was four, Kate was fifteen. Chris]; Stella is clearly not much interested, but is polite. Kate tells her she thinks her roots will always be firmly planted in Home Farm land.

At The Bull Freddie has bought David a pint of Shires for the first time ever, having rescued him from Lynda; Jolene wants to talk to him about Valentine's night, so he was coming to the pub anyway. David asks after the DJ-ing and then The Orangery, which Freddie says is going really well, but then admits tha his attempts to sort out the volunteer, Colin, aren't going well: Lily overheard him calling Freddie 'the naughty twin' to another volunteer, and the other said that he's now known as the Pointless Prince. David can't help laughing, and apologises; Freddie says Lily thought it was hilarious. But the point is Colin won't like Freddie telling him off. David offers no help, so Freddie asks after Brookfield and gets told that lambing and calving are both about to start; David then wants to know what he has done to earn a pint. Freddie tells him about the guest chef night on Thursday, which has a table for two going spare; not for David and Ruth, but for David and Elizabeth. For some mad reason she misses David. Cheeky, says David, but is not displeased and agrees to Thursday at seven thirty, so Freddie can tell Elizabeth he'll be there; Freddie says she doesn't yet know, because he wanted it to be a surprise.

In the shop David and Joy are getting on well until Susan comes over and tells her not to hold up customers, apologising to David and saying it's Joy's training shift; she sends Joy to stack the tins of fruit, and takes over holding David up by talking at him. David tells her he was asking Joy for advice about his new suit for Jennifer's funeral, and she gave him a few tips. He adds he has got a lot of time for Joy, as it happens. He then leaves, and Susan tells Joy that it seems they've had a crossed wire, and she shouldn't have been so quick to judge. Joy asks if she's passed her training shift and will be put on the rota, and to her delight Susan says yes.

Kate is extolling her day at Home Farm, while Jakob has notes to write up; she says she felt more at home than she ever is at Spiritual Home [which, in case anyone other than Kate has forgotten, is in the middle of Home Farm land. Chris] and she felt that all her new energy was being put to good use. Jakob warns her that people say you should hold back on any big changes while you're grieving, but she thinks it can also be a moment to see the truth of things. What she is starting to realise is that sometimes, you should just go back to where you started.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 8th February, 2023

Kate is very Kate, Adam is truly Adam and Ian does Ian really well.

Characters: Ian, Adam, Stella, Kate, Jakob, Alice
Credited scriptwriter: Liz John
Director: Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Ian is concerned about Lilian having upset Tony and Pat, though Adam says she is now keeping her distance. They have to tell Xander soon that Jennifer is dead: he's bound to ask where she is eventually, and Ian doesn't want to lie to him. They can't decide how to tell him. Ian has asked advice from the nursery he attends, who suggest 'gone back to Nature' or 'to Mother Earth', since his parents don't believe in traditional things like heaven.

At the Home Farm office an unexpected Kate has turned up and wants a chat, and Stella says that she has time for one if it's quick. The importance of Home Farm land to Kate is mentioned by her again, and she has decided that it is family land that deserves to be nurtured and protected as responsibly as humanly possible. Stella agrees with her. Kate admits her uselessness to the farm up to date, and failure to support Adam when he made his contribution with the no-till; now she feels she should do her bit. Stella asks how, and Kate says she will guide Home Farm towards net zero by 2040. She has a net-zero vision for Home Farm, and has done some research on the internet. Of course she knew most of it from her days as an environmental activist, did Stella know about that? Stella has in fact heard of the NFU's net zero goal, having been at the Oxford Conference at which it was announced, so Kate is obliged to return to her grievance about the plastic tree-guards rather than lecture her about that. She tells Stella that going forward, she should see Kate as the conscience of the farm; Stella suggests gently that she doesn't need anyone supervising what she is already supervising herself. Kate steamrollers on about hedgerows and native species, and Stella points out that she knew that. When told that Kate will be behind her all the way, Stella suggests that what would help, going forward: they need to know where there are gaps in the hedgerows that need filling, so if Kate would survey that it would be great; and it would help the climate, too, obviously. Kate, who exclaims she knew Stella would see it her way, thanks her and tells her to consider it done.

In spite of saying he'd get home as soon as he could Adam is late and arrives home apologising. He reports that he twins behaved for the photoshoot and then screamed all the way home, and Tom and Natasha were frazzled; when Ian suggests he and Adam can now join Xander in the lounge Adam is not sure telling him now is a good idea. He is having trouble processing it himself, let alone telling Xander: if he can't take it in, how's Xander going to cope? Ian feels that it must be done by them before someone else tells him; Adam worries that he might break down when they tell him and that would make it worse. Ian says Xander needs to understand why people are behaving the way they are, Grandpa parking himself in the Gills' garden for example, and Adam agrees though he says again that he is hoping Brian has got that out of his system. As Ian continues his argument Adam's phone sounds: it's Stella, and Adam is keen to take it; Ian goes to be with Xander. When Adam answers, Stella tells him that Kate has been there, and when Adam, somewhat surprised, asks why, Stella says she thinks it was to pull rank, though she thinks she has managed to head her off at the path [no, really, that's what she said. Chris]. Adam explodes in exasperation that that is all they need.

In her general round of interference Kate is now butting in to Jakob's examination of a horse at The Stables, and then says they'll keep an eye on the horse in chorus with him. Alice says 'two vets for the price of one!', to which Jakob replies acerbically that only one of them is qualified. He suggests Kate could wait in the car and he won't be long, but no, she wants to talk to him and to Alice. Alice is sorry she wasn't at lunch with Kate on Monday, but she had to sort out some things for Ruairi, who has not yet spoken to Brian; he is struggling himself. Jakob mentions the idea of everyone coming to dinner some time this week, but Kate isn't sure she has time for that now: she's busy at Home Farm. Alice understandably cuts off laughter and asks, 'Doing what?'; Kate tells her that she is guiding them towards net zero, and Stella has asked her to check on the hedges for her first task. Jakob says there are miles of hedges and she hasn't got time: she has Spiritual Home to run. To Alice's incredulity, Kate's response it to say that she'll get rid of it: she'll sell it. Jakob protests that she can't do that, at which point Adam arrives, angry that Kate is not answering her phone. She says she doesn't know where it is, and anyway phones aren't her main concern at the moment. Adam forbiddingly informs her that Stella rang him, which makes her exclaim delightedly that Stella has told him about her hedgerow project, but he goes on to tell her that Stella said Kate had turned up unannounced and tried to tell her how to do her job. Alice is shocked, Kate denies she did anything of the sort, and Adam wants to know what she is playing at. Adam says Stella is an experienced farm manager, but when Kate questions her having said Kate tried to tell her how to do her job has to admit that it was not in so many words, but it was what she meant. Kate instantly asks how he knows what she meant: he wasn't there. He says he knows Kate, so he can imagine it perfectly. Jakob suggests they all calm down, Kate claims to be perfectly calm and then accuses Adam of having left Brian in the lurch ('that's not what happened' interpolates Alice), and Adam says he is not getting into this now but she is not to bother Stella again. As he leaves Kate tells him to stick to Bridge Farm, which is his thing now. Jakob tries to suggest she can't just get rid of Spiritual Home, which is important to her, but she says nothing is more important that building nature back into the countryside, and goes to wait in the car.

After Kate has left, Alice says she can't believe it and Jakob says Kate has been like this for some days, and though he has tried to persuade her to slow down and not make big decisions yet, she's just not hearing him at all. He asks Alice to try to make her see sense.

It seems that even after his set-to with Kate, Adam has done really well with Xander, at least in Ian's opinion. Adam just hopes Xander understood most of it: he took it all in so calmly, and asked if Grandpa's OK. Adam just felt dazed, and really doesn't know if he feels OK himself; he has totally mishandled Kate and will have to text her later and apologise, which Ian thinks is a plan: they're all stressed and upset, and these things happen. They plan to send a rice-paper boat down the Am for Granny, with a drawing from Xander, and Adam says that he honestly thinks that might help him too.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 9th February, 2023

It's the end of the road for Ruairi; is it a dead end for Freddie?

Characters: Julianne, Ruairi, Alice, Elizabeth, Freddie, David
Credited scriptwriter: Liz John
Director: Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Julianne has rung Ruairi because she wants his help with Bill Nightwell, whom she failed to sign up on Sunday because he was in a difficult mood; she is now in the Reedles Hotel in Felpersham for an event at which he will be present. Ruairi suggests she can book someone a lot better than him, but she thinks Bill and his wife might expect him to be there, since it is in Felpersham. She'll pay his usual bonus if he can be there by seven and he asks 'Only the usual?' and she says OK, a larger sum; when he says he was being sarcastic she tells him that she wasn't. She really does want them to be OK: he asks whether she means it, and says that's what he always wanted. As Alice comes in he asks Julianne whether they can talk everything through, and she says 'Absolutely' and offers to send a taxi for him, to which he agrees as Alice apologises for having butted in while he was on the phone.

Alice is full of news about Martha being asleep, and Ian having rung with worries about Adam, but wants to know if was talking to Ben again. He says it was Julianne, and Alice is outraged. He says Julianne needs his help with an important deal and is paying him a huge bonus, and Alice is not to have a go, because he has made up his mind. She doesn't let it go at that, and starts to tell him that he agreed Julianne only makes him unhappy; he tells her it's a few hours at the Reedles Hotel and it's enough money to fund his apartment for longer, and that would make him extremely happy, so... Alice continues to argue that Julianne has made him dependent, and once the money runs out it won't be her ringing him, it will be him ringing her. Ruairi tells her he has to go and get ready, because Julianne is sending a cab, and not to worry: he knows what he's doing. Alice is left to say that he obviously, clearly does not.

The contents of the fridge are not inspiring Elizabeth, who can't think what to cook tonight; Freddie tells her that as it happens, she doesn't have to because there is a table with her name on it for the guest chef extravaganza. She says he and Lily can have the table, because she just wants to slump in front of the telly, but he insists the table is for her. She speaks wistfully of fish finger sandwiches, and Freddie points out she has never had one before coming clean: she is dining with a very special guest tonight. When she asks who, he says it's a surprise, and she tells him she's not in the mood, so he has to tell her it's David. This does surprise her, and she wonders how he managed that: it's brilliant! He has more good news: Cliffgate is resolved. She is surprised again, and wants to know how: Freddie says they agreed after several conversations that if visitors want to know more about the house they should simply come again, which means of course that they pay again. Even Diane was impressed, and Elizabeth clearly is – and says so. Then she tells him it is timely, because she has come up with the perfect starter position for him; the only rôle on offer, temporary volunteer coordinator. When Freddie protests that no-one does that now, she says she and Glen do, between them, but they are far too busy to herd cats. She leaves him to think about it while she gets changed for her special dinner with her stubborn brother.

Julianne is delighted that Ruairi has got there on time, and says he looks extremely well. Bill has arrived, but before they go in she wants to apologise for being insensitive last week; she's aware he's grieving and she should have been more sympathetic. She suggests that they need their wits about them with Bill and should hold back on the booze; he tells her that's no problem.

At The Orangery David and Elizabeth seem to be getting on well, and he apologises for not returning her calls; he knows she wants him to make up with Vince, but she says she doesn't, actually; he says good, because he doesn't think he can. She isn't worried about Vince; she is worried about the two of them. She won't have him coming between them, they're family and that trumps everything. David is dubious: Vince is her partner, so it won't be that easy, but they can agree to stay out of each other's way or at least be civil; Elizabeth is relieved and says that's all she needs. Elizabeth muses that they have always been a close family, but she didn't realise how close until Shula left, to which David responds that he misses her too. Elizabeth describes Shula as 'the glue between us all', to which David responds 'more of a UN peacekeeper'. But when Elizabeth says they'll have to do their own peace-keeping, David isn't sure: he reckons Freddie has picked up some of her negotiating tactics, since he's why they are sitting there. David assures Elizabeth that he has a lot of respect for her and her kids, and Vince won't change that.

The deal has gone well: Bill is completely on board and the other directors will fall in line, Julianne announces triumphantly. Ruairi is glad about that, but when she thanks him for not drinking mentions that she has been knocking them back: she's allowed but he's not? No, she says with finality. She then tells him that's it for the evening, job done, and she had better order him a cab; he asks whether he has misunderstood, because he thought she was saying she would give him another chance, and she wonders whatever gave him that idea? She's sorry, but he's far too involved; he practically told her that he loved her, on Sunday, and though he is sweet she's not girlfriend material: sorry. She could put in a word for him with a pal of hers who is doing PR for a big fashion house, and she thinks they could have a lot of fun if he doesn't fall for herat which critical moment Alice arrives because he isn't answering his phone, and tells him he looks terrible, snubbing Julianne at the same time. He says Alice was right and he shouldn't have come.

David and Elizabeth are laughing together, until David says he has to leave to get up early in the morning, and invites her and the kids to come over for lunch one Sunday: Mum would love to see them. As he leaves he encounters Freddie and thanks him for being Shula, which completely baffles him; Elizabeth thanks Freddie and invites him to join her whilst she finishes her coffee. He tells her he has decided to accept her job offer, which will help him hone his skills; when she asks him what skills he will need, he replies diplomacy, endurance, other skills pertinent to herding cats. Elizabeth tells him that his first task is to recruit more volunteers. He asks how, and she says he'll have no trouble: he got David out for a meal, didn't he?

Alice has taken it on herself to start a row with Julianne, telling her that Ruairi is a wreck; Julianne points out that is nothing to do with her, and he is paid to do a job and that's it. She's exploiting him, says Alice with indignation, and when Julianne asks Ruairi whether he does feel exploited, he replies that he feels humiliated by her having just offered him to her mate; as Alice exclaims indignantly, Julianne tells him that she was prepared to recommend him, but not any more. Alice accuses her of grooming him, and Julianne suggests that she should tread very carefully with that kind of language. Alice says she has made a vulnerable young man dependent on her, and Julianne points out that actually, he wanted to be dependent on her and that is why she had to sack him. She adds that if he is vulnerable that's not her fault: she didn't raise him, did she? Alice and her dysfunctional family can claim all the credit for that. She tells both of them not to contact her again, or she will get her lawyers involved. Alice tries to get the last word by saying with increasing volume that she should get her conscience involved, and her humanity, if she has any, but Julianne has clearly gone out of earshot of even her shouting. Ruairi can't believe Alice came, and says that it was wishful thinking to suppose Julianne cared for him. Alice is glad that he sees that now, and tells him 'come on: let's get you home.'

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 10th February, 2023

Adam gets maudlin, Ben gets away and Ruairi gets drunk.

Characters: Adam, Ian, Ruairi, Alice, Paul
Credited scriptwriter: Liz John
Director: Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Adam has come home early, having told Tony they were going to take Xander to the Am. Alice loves the idea of paper boats and is bringing Martha to join them. Xander has done a picture of himself standing on the Am, and has managed a few words: Granny loves roses. There is also a giant red rose,which Xander apparently said was because it was like Granny's heart, full of roses. Adam chokes up briefly, then when asked if he is all right tells Ian that he feels as if he were not in the room but somewhere above, looking down on everyone else grieving. He thinks it's not normal. Ian tells him about having felt safe silently watching Jennifer cooking after his Aunt Beryl died, and that this shows that one person who would never tell you how to grieve was Jennifer herself. Adam agrees; that's what he's lost; there's a gaping hole where Jennifer used to be. As he loses it, he manages to say he is going to check on Xander and leaves the room in spite of Ian's protests.

Ruairi has been for a hack and he thanks Alice for the idea. She asks if he is feeling a little better this morning, and he tells her he is a hundred per cent fine. Alice plans to take Martha down to the Am a little later, and she has drawn a picture, though Alice is not sure how the boat thing works and is afraid it might be too big. Ruairi is meeting Ben in The Bull, and doesn't want to talk to Brian, whom Alice says is worried about him. She asks if Ruairi is all right for money, and he tells her Julianne transferred a load of money into his account this morning, which annoys Alice until Ruairi adds it had the reference 'final payment'. When asked if he is OK about that, Ruairi replies that he doesn't know: he knows she wasn't good for him... Alice interrupts to agree with him about that, and when he says he was in a bubble triumphantly tells him that it is well and truly burst now. He seems uncertain and she suggests that if he tries to think more positively about himself and his future that will help. Yet again she tells him the whole family loves him and, when he says he knows that, disputes that he does know it but tells him he doesn't need the likes of Julianne to tell him who he is: that's for him to decide [or rather, her. Chris.] He says that he has no clue who he is, but he'll let her get on, and leaves to have a shower and get to the pub.

The boating party has met at Honeysuckle Cottage and is considering the sayings of Martha, who according to her mother wants to give lots of hugs to Xander. Ian says he'll love that, and then that on second thoughts he will go and check up on them. Adam takes the opportunity to tell Alice that he messed up on Wednesday and Kate is now ghosting him: has Jakob got her to think again about selling Spiritual Home? Alice says that Kate is not hearing Jakob at all; Alice has tried telling her she ought not to be making important decisions, but that's a work in progress: she'll keep trying. Adam is glad Stella distracted Kate with the hedgerows survey, but sorry he has landed Alice with extra work, especially when she has Ruairi staying. Alice says she thinks he's had a tough time in London, which surprises Adam because he is always saying that he's having great fun. They agree it's time to head for the Am.

Clearly no longer sober, Ruairi thanks Paul for staying after Ben has left to take Bess for a walk; Paul has an afternoon off. He tells Ruairi that he is sorry about Jennifer, then turns to tales of Hilda, about whose antics he and Jennifer had a sneaky giggle. He can't imagine how awful it must be, losing your mum when you're little and then Jennifer too; Ruairi responds that it's not great, but thanks. Paul asks how things are otherwise, and asks after the London situation and JW, who was texting him all the time; Ruairi says there is no 'London situation' now. When Paul asks whether that's good or bad Ruairi says definitely good: he had been missing out on having fun and being a student. Paul says he can help with that: he's meeting some mates in Borchester later, and Ruairi says he would love that: he's in desperate need of a proper night out.

The boat-launching has gone well, and as Ian says, the funeral won't mean much to the children: this just seemed like a better way to say goodbye. Alice says that Adam seems a bit quiet, and Ian says that he still seems to be numb and doesn't think he is grieving properly; Alice didn't know there was a right way to grieve. Ian says Adam knows there isn't, you can't can't control grief, and asks if Alice is OK: is she coping? She says just about, in spite of her kid and Ruairi on her plate now, and The Stables. She asks how the pizza business is getting on and Ian is happy to tell her about it, but Alice notices Adam is sitting on the riverbank and thinks it might be a bit cold for that; Ian says he'll go and see if he's all right, and leaves Alice to watch the kids.

Adam is crying, because he has finally realised that Jennifer is really gone; Ian is sympathetic and holds him. Adam says Jennifer was everything, and talks about what she meant to him and how she never once stopped loving him: how can he manage without her, how can he get through this? It's not actually bearable. Ian assures him that he will get through it, and he'll be with him all the way. Jennifer was special, and though Adam won't feel like it just now they should be celebrating her life. Adam reveals that for a moment, he wanted to wade in and catch the boat, which makes Ian talk about them all getting wet going in to save him, and they both laugh. Ian suggests that he and Xander should come to the gig tomorrow; he has a helper (called Billy) so Adam could wander around. Adam would love that.

After what he calls a top night out, Ruairi tells Paul that he loves his friends; everyone kept buying him pints and he lost count. Paul says he told people about Jennifer, and Ruairi changes the subject to thinking he's left his keys in the cottage; Paul says Alice won't mind being got up to let him in, but Ruairi suggests they could go back to Paul's. Paul points out that it's a nice offer, but he's already said no. Ruairi tries to persuade him, but Paul is firm; when Ruairi tries to grab him Paul says 'sorry, you obviously need a friend but I said no.' Their wrestling on the doorstep brings Alice to the door asking if everything is OK, which makes Ruairi moan 'Oh no'; Paul explains Ruairi has over-indulged, and Ruairi suddenly has to be sick and makes a run for the lavatory. Alice asks Paul if it was a good night, apart from this bit, and Paul tells her it was, sort of: Ruairi has taken their mum's passing really hard. Alice says he has a lot of other stuff going on; Paul says at least he is safely home, and the taxi hoots. Alice stops Paul from leaving by asking him if there is any chance he could keep an eye on Ruairi, and Paul agrees to try though he isn't sure... Alice interrupts to say she is worried that he's not really coping. Paul agrees that he was pretty wild tonight, but he has a lovely big family who are all there for him, and Alice says well, actually, it's just her, at the moment; Paul thinks that's tricky for her, because he's not that easy to help at the moment and then the taxi hoots again repeatedly and he has to go, saying 'Don't worry, he'll be fine" as he does so. Alice heaves a deep sigh and says, 'I really hope so.'

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 12th February, 2023

Noluthando may be welcome but interference is not.

Characters: Brian, Alice, Roy, Kirsty, Kate, Jakob, Noluthando,
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Jenny Stephens
Editor: Jeremy Howe

A walk by Arkwright Lake birdwatching is doing Brian and Alice good; Brian spots a heron. He mentions he is unhappy that he hasn't seen Ruairi since their altercation; Alice makes excuses for Ruairi, but Brian has texted him a few times and got no answer, and wants to know if he's all right. Alice says she thinks so, and he's not avoiding Brian, he's just got a lot on. They've talked a lot, and he can stay at Alice's place for as long as he likes; she thinks London is a bit frantic for him just now. It's easier for him to get his head down and study while he's at hers. Brian thinks he'd be better off staying with him, but Alice says he's got all his stuff at The Nest. When Brian suggests him calling there on the way back and taking Ruairi to The Bull for a pint, Alice promptly says he is out for the afternoon with Ben. Everyone is struggling, but when Brian asks if Ruairi is she first says no, and then yes, but no more than anyone else. So long as she thinks he's OK then: but she could tell him to reply to Brian's texts. She says she will. Then she wants to talk about the funeral, though he doesn't want to and says 'not now' quite clearly. She says they have to do it some time: the church is booked, and Kate has spoken to the funeral directors again yesterday and discovered they need them to come in this week. Brian asks why, and she tells him that they want to know if they are having a charity donation page, and they've given her a whole list of things they want a decision on: flowers, notices, order of service... Brian interrupts to say that is what they pay them a small fortune to arrange, but Alice points out the funeral director can't choose the readings or hymns. Brian is clearly not going to talk about this, and reverts to the heron. She pesters him to tell her a day that is convenient this week, and he says he doesn't know but will have a think about it. She gives vent to a long-suffering sigh and says 'OK'.

At Willow Farmhouse Roy is wondering whether Phoebe will mind if he throws her old posters out; Kirsty says he shouldn't do anything without checking. They are getting rid of all the furniture and making themselves an office with two desks, filing cabinets and a sofa-bed. Roy remarks that their garden doesn't look too bad, but Brian and Jennifer's side of the fence is a mess; they wonder how Brian is doing, and Kirsty has the sensitivity to remember how she felt after her late miscarriage, how she didn't want a fuss even though she didn't know what she did want. Then Roy did something she'll never forget: he quietly cleaned up, with no fuss, because she didn't feel up to it. Roy wonders if they could do something like that for Brian [not apparently seeing any difference between cleaning up in his own damn' house and trampling over someone else's property. Chris.]

Since she is not enjoying running the place any more, Spiritual Home is now full of negative energy, according to Kate. Jakob is sending an email or text and fails to make a suitably sympathetic response, ignoring her when she asks what time it is. She goes on about feeling trapped, and he says that though of course he'll support her whatever she decides, it's a terrible time to make big changes. Kate instantly suggests it's the perfect time and starts a riff on mortality and not wasting the life she has left on this earth. She's a farmer's daughter ["Only when it suits you, dear." Chris' OH] and has always had a visceral connection to the land and now sees that her energy should be channelled into Home Farm Net Zero. Jakob says he is asking her to wait a little before making decisions, say till after the funeral, especially when it comes to telling her dad. She complains that is so frustrating, when all she wants to do is shut the door and move on. Jakob suggests she put her energy into getting everything in order, and then if she still feels the same in a few weeks she can put the business up for sale as a going concern. Kate reluctantly agrees the accounts could do with a bit of attention, and the client list needs updating. When she tries to leave, to go and organise the flowers, Jakob wants her to stay a bit longer, telling her she could do it online. She smells a rat when the doorbell rings and he asks her to get it, and goes off very crossly to do so. It is Noluthando. Cue much squeaking from Kate.

The Willow Cottage garden is having a makeover without Brian's consent, for which Alice thanks Roy and Kirsty; she has left Brian at The Bull having a pint of Shires, and he should be back in about an hour. Kirsty notes he didn't seem to want to go out, but Alice is sure she knew better than he could what he wanted and says he quite enjoyed the lake once they were there. Alice would stay to help with the clear-up but she's had a text from Kate summoning her to Jakob's cottage, where there is a surprise for her.

She arrives while Noluthando is telling her mother how they all felt when Kate rang and told them about Jennifer: they didn't believe it, and then Noluthando spent all night telling Sipho stories about Grandma. They even laughed about things together; Alice says she and Kate were the same, one minute crying and the next laughing about funny things they remembered. Noluthando felt she was so far away from them all; but now she is here, and Alice can't believe Kate managed to keep it a secret. Only because she had no idea, says Jakob as he arrives with tea and Kate-approved biscuits. Jakob and Noluthando cooked the surprise up between them, and had to tell a lot of lies, which Kate says was worth it. Alice claims Brian will be over the moon to see her and says she will be a breath of fresh air for him. Kate expresses gratitude to the wonderful man, Jakob, who says he didn't do anything really, and says no-one needs to know that when Noluthando says he paid for her ticket.

Kirsty and Roy are congratulating themselves on Brian's garden looking a lot better when Brian gets back from The Bull sooner than expected. He wants to know what they are doing there, and when Roy explains they thought the garden could do with a bit of a spruce after Saturday's storm and they would help him out a bit, and Alice thought he wouldn't mind he wants to know why they would ask Alice; she doesn't live there, he does. Kirsty apologises: he is absolutely right, and they should have texted him first. He is outraged that Alice is making decisions on his behalf; Roy says they didn't want to bother him and it was easier to text one of the family, but he can see that was a mistake. Yes, it was, Brian tells him, since Brian is more than capable of making his own decisions, and of clearing up his own garden. Roy protests that they didn't mean to make him feel ... um like ... they just thought ... You didn't think, says Brian. When Kirsty tells Roy to pass her the compost bag, and they will just fill it and be off, Brian explodes: he said leave it! He doesn't need their help!

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 13th February, 2023

David is surprised about a charging station; Justin is astonished to find that Ruairi charged.

Characters: Ruth, David, Noluthando, Ruairi, Kate, Justin
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Jenny Stephens
Editor: Jeremy Howe

At Brookfield Ruth reports having got the calving pens ready, and remarks on the post; David tells her it is mostly birthday cards for Pip, and she enquires whether there is a present from them; when David finds it she says that was cutting it a bit fine [Pip's birthday being on 17th February. Chris], then goes on to extol the new, draught-free winter housing for the cows. David opens a letter from the council: the buyers for the land they are selling have put in a request for a change of use – for an electric vehicle charging station. They decide not to worry about it tonight: they deserve a couple of hours to switch off.

Noluthando is trying to get Ruairi to come the The Bull tomorrow, and he says he isn't in the mood for Valentines but he will think about it. She wants to make the most of her time in Ambridge, and Kate cuts in to say that because of her stupid job she's missed out on spending the day with her daughter, and grumbles about everything at Spiritual Home taking longer than she thought; she mentions staffing, accounts, loan repayments, forward projections, and on and on. Noluthando says she was fine, and Kate invites Ruairi to eat with them at The Lodge; he thanks her for the offer but says he just wants an early night. Noluthando protests: how often do they get a chance to hang out? Before he has to reply Justin comes over and greets Noluthando, then says he is glad he bumped into Ruairi; Noluthando sees Natasha with the baby [how does she know her? Why just the one baby? Chris.] and she and Kate rush off to meet them, leaving Justin asking Ruairi whether he is coming to the finance event in Birmingham tonight; he has seen Julianne Wright on the guest list. He is surprised when Ruairi says he won't be there: he had assumed he would be her plus one. Ruairi says he is having dinner with Kate and Noluthando; Justin says he had better get on the road, and leaves.

David has summoned Ruth to the barn by text, and it is dark until he switches on some heart-shaped fairy lights with a cry of 'Surprise!' He has arranged a Valentine's Brookfield Barn Picnic, complete with slushy playlist, which Ruth thinks very romantic. He has got a Bridge Farm hamper and a bottle of bubbly: he thought that this year, above all others, they could do with a bit of romance. She has only got him a card, and hasn't even written it yet; he produces an amber necklace for her and puts it on for her, then apologises for the arguments he caused and times he made it harder for her instead of easier. She says she's sorry too, but blames on desperation and exhaustion her forgetting he was on her side. They agree to remember they are a team, but they are still going to be busy with the calving and the B&B and Ben starting at The Laurels in a fortnight. They open the champagne.

At the Birmingham do Justin hails Julianne and congratulates her on the deal with Bill which was announced last week; when he tries to find out whether Bill has signed on the dotted line yet she turns the subject and gives him no answer, then mentions his working at the village shop [and how did she know that? Chris], which he describes as 'helping the local community and proud to do so'. She thinks they should drink to that: will he join them in a glass of champagne? Her plus one, Giles, is getting another bottle. Justin asks who Giles is, and is told he is doing a post-doc in business and law and Justin should have a chat with him. His hat's off to her: she always has a handsome young man in tow. Where did they meet? At a networking event, she says, but she is keen to hear more about his retail prowess. Justin however is not attending; he tells her he has seen Ruairi Donovan in Ambridge and assumed he would be her plus one. She points out that Ruairi has had a bereavement, which surely Justin knows about. He instantly becomes hushed and appropriate, and accepts Julianne's condolences on the loss of his partner's sister. When he tries to inquire further about Giles, Julianne says he is on his way with the champagne, finally.

Noluthando and Ruairi are talking about the pain of losing a partner, which Ruairi likens to a punch in the stomach, and Kate chimes in to say that a break-up isn't something you can rationalise: it's felt in the gut, the heart, the soul. Noluthando seizes on this, and then Ruairi asks if it is getting any better: she says, a bit, but she still thinks about him, a lot, all the time. Kate assures her that's normal because he was a huge part of her life; the key is not to beat herself up about thinking about him ('Be kind to yourself,' interpolates Ruairi) and get really good at finding distractions. Ruairi suggests another slice of pizza, and just remember to never fall in love again. Kate says no, definitely fall in love again, just take your time and watch out for red flags; find someone who makes you feel good, not just someone you love. Noluthando says she found Jakob in the end, and Kate boasts that he quietly cherishes her, which makes her daughter coo, and adds that he is very honest when he thinks she is jumping into something feet first. He totally gets it that she wants something different, but he's helped her slow down this week. Ruairi asks what the something different is, and she has a quick riff about the environmental issues around farming and them being real, vital work. Since her mother died Spiritual Home feels frivolous, and she wants to get involved in the family business in a real, meaningful way. Ruairi is glad if this means he won't have to join one of her frozen yoga classes, which Noluthando corrects to 'cold yoga', and Kate says she isn't planning to announce it to Dad just yet but she's really excited about Home Farm and the road to Net Zero.

The Birmingham do continues, and Justin has made his way back to Julianne after having had a good chat with Giles, whom he describes as 'impressive'. He mentioned an internship. She denies being his mentor, but says she is paying on the generosity of older colleagues who helped her towards early success. When he asks if Giles is her new project, she wants to know why he is so fascinated by Giles, and he says he isn't fascinated, he's just trying to work it out. She laughs at him and says she will help him out: how often does he see a man with a woman on his arm half his age and think nothing of it? He laughs and says half the time, and she replies 'Exactly.' These events often require a plus one, so why shouldn't she turn up with a bit of eye-candy? Justin is taken aback and says he thought she and Ruairi Donovan were ... Lovers, she asks him, and when he says yes tells him that she never had him down as a gossip. He says he isn't, he is just curious as to where she finds all these eligible bachelors, or the time. He really isn't getting this, is he, Julianne mocks him: why does it bother him so much who she chooses to surround herself with? He says that it doesn't, but he had the impression.... She and Ruairi were so often together.... She explains that what she had with Ruairi was purely a business arrangement and he is shocked at the idea she was paying him: does she mean Ruairi was a pro... an escort? Bingo, says Julianne.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 14th February, 2023

In which very little happens, at length and to music.

Characters: Freddie, Noluthando, Alice, Ruairi, Paul
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Jenny Stephens
Editor: Jeremy Howe

As Freddie sets up, Noluthando tells him he is an enigma for being a DJ by night and Lord of the Manor by day, shepherding old folks round his stately home. Freddie points out not all are old and their official name is volunteer guides, which Noluthando says she will try to remember. She is full of pre-judgement about the Young Farmers, which Freddie finds silly; they're a good crowd and the dance floor is never empty. She wants to see if a broken-hearted young teacher can match them. Freddie promises that with him controlling the decks loneliness and heartbreak will be blown away; even if they both have proper jobs now they are still young.

Surprisingly, Alice mentions she has seen Brian and that he misses Ruairi, which Ruairi says is not his problem. Alice agrees that it's hers: she has to make excuses for why Ruairi hasn't been round to see him. Ruairi sees her point but says Brian knows why he won't visit him; Alice tells Ruairi that it is because he is grieving that he is angry with Brian. Ruairi offers to go and fetch some logs for the fire; Alice asks whether he is sure he doesn't want to go to the Young Farmers' party at The Bull, to which idea he gives a studied embittered laugh and says yes. Watching TV with his saddo big sister? she asks. It's exactly where he wants to be, he tells her. She won't let it go and says he could do with seeing some friends and blowing off some steam; he is firm in refusal: he needs some time to unscramble his brain. She refuses to allow this and tells him to get changed: she is taking him to The Bull herself and they are going to have a good time. They don't have to stay long; if after an hour either wants to leave, they leave together. He agrees, and thanks her.

Paul has turned up at The Bull and almost barges into Freddie; when Noluthando introduces herself he realises that she is Kate's daughter, and having explained that he works with Jakob, relates his amusement at Jakob stressing over keeping her visit a secret from Kate. Noluthando thanks him for his condolences over Jennifer and says Ambridge feels all wrong without her. Paul knows Ruairi is really struggling with it, and she's surprised he's friends with Ruairi; Freddie explains they went to the Hunt Ball together, which makes her say oh-ooh in a knowing way and express real pleasure at meeting him, just as Ruairi comes in and Freddie greets him. Alice is getting them drinks, and Freddie is about to start his set with Noluthando's help. Paul tells Ruairi it's good to see him, and says they are still friends, aren't they, then when Freddie starts some music, drags him onto the dance floor.

A good time is being had by all, including Alice, who explains to Paul that Chris Carter is Martha's dad and her ex-husband; this leads Paul to say she is a fully paid up member of the lonely hearts club then, to which she laughingly agrees. He insists on getting a round in and is surprised Alice wants elderflower cordial; when she says she doesn't drink these days, he asks what it all looks like through sober eyes, to which she replies 'interesting' and Ruairi translates that as 'messy'. He goes to buy the drinks, and Alice informs Ruairi that Paul is really nice; Ruairi says he's fun, and that seeing him isn't awkward, then asks if she's OK or if she wants to go. She says no, she's fine and it's good to see him smiling again. She says being there has given her a bit of perspective that life is not all about breaking through Brian's reluctance to make decisions about the funeral; Ruairi is scathing about dad being selfish and uncommunicative, why isn't he surprised. He then offers again to leave if she wants, and she asks what the time is: it's eight forty-five, and she is surprised because she thought it was much later. 'Time flies when you're having fun,' says Ruairi [thus showing either that he is drunk and confused about the phrase's meaning, or that he is being deeply ironic. Chris.]

Noluthando has gone outside to take a voice-message, but reassures Freddie it was from Sipho not her ex. Sipho is apparently missing everyone [huh? Who in Ambridge apart from Jennifer and Phoebe has he met? Jennifer is dead and Phoebe isn't there. Chris.] and Freddie says it will be good to see him. They have ten minutes to go before the next set: Freddie plans to get people fired up, and then cool things down for the slow dances at the end. Noluthando won't be taking part in those, but says Freddie could if he plays his cards right: Paul's friend Nina has been looking at him all night, and her body language has been very obvious. He ought to go over and get her number. He says he's all right, thanks, and she has misread the body language. Noluthando claims Paul told her Nina was asking after him, wanting to know if she and Freddie were a thing, which makes Freddie laugh disbelievingly. Freddie suggests they should put her off by pretending they are together, to which Noluthando says Nina is just his type: into music, into him. Why doesn't he take a risk for once? He realises she isn't going to give up, and resignedly agrees to do as she tells him.

Downstairs at The Bull Ruairi is now looking for Max, Paul's mate, but Alice can't remember which one he is of the many Paul has introduced her to. He asks if she is going to go up for Freddie's next set, and she mentions how surprised she is that it's only nine-thirty; he has noticed she keeps telling him what time it is, and asks again whether she wants to go. After a bit of discussion she admits that she has been in bed by ten most nights this week and she is trying not to let things get her down, what with dad, Lilian and Tony, work, Martha, you name it. Ruairi says that he'll bet this is the last place she wants to be and says he will get their coats, but she says no, he must stay: she's fine going back by herself. He says firmly that they made a pact. He's had a blast, but now he wants to be with his big sis and able to talk to her without having to shout over the music. She allows him to persuade her, and they leave.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 15th February, 2023

Noluthando is prurient, Justin is prying, and Will talks a bit of sense to Brian.

Characters: Freddie, Noluthando, Ruairi, Will, Brian, Justin
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Jenny Stephens
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The aftermath of the event at The Bull is being discussed by Freddie and Noluthando, with reference to possible hangovers and to Ruairi, who is expected. When he arrives and explains to an over-interested Noluthando that he went off early not with Max as she had hoped, but with Alice because she was tired and wanted to get home, the spotlight is turned on Freddie with a demand to know whether he has heard from Nina. Ruairi pricks up his ears at the name Nina, and Noluthando explains that Freddie got her number. When Freddie claims they have exchanged a few messages Noluthando wants exactly what each of them said, but he tells her he has to go because he can't keep the volunteers waiting and declines to answer any further question, saying some people have got work to do. She shouts after him that she'll get it out of him later, and Ruairi wishes her good luck with that: Freddie is a Man of Mystery about romance. Then Ruairi gets a message from Justin wanting to know if he is free to meet for a coffee. Noluthando of course demands to know why, but Ruairi has no idea: he didn't even know Justin had his number.

After stopping for help outside Willow Cottage, Will is filling his car's radiator with water, and plans to add coolant when he gets to the petrol station. When he comments on the gardening Brian repudiates it: the mess is none of his doing, that was Roy and Kirsty. Will asks if he has any plans for the day; Brian tells him there are always things to do, and Jenny would say 'Best to keep busy'. Will asks him, if he's not busy, for one more favour: the maps on his phone are playing up... Brian says he'd offer to lend him his phone but Stella might want to get in touch, and Will says it's a bit of a cheek, but how about if he borrowed Brian and his phone? His round should only take an hour or so, and he wouldn't ask if he didn't have to. Brian decides to agree, and goes to fetch his coat.

Having been abandoned at the tea-room by Ruairi, Noluthando has got a lift from Kate to Lower Loxley Hall in order to find and pester Freddie about his messages from Nina. She wants to see what the last message from Nina was, and he says no, then admits that Nina didn't message him, because he never got round to asking for her number. Noluthando inquires whether when he made out he'd been talking to her it was macho posturing to impress Ruairi, but he says he just didn't really fancy her. And then he thought Noluthando would be disappointed in him and it just seemed easier to make up a story. Is that weird? She says no, which relieves him, then apologises: she thinks it's her fault and she got a bit pushy. Next time he should just tell her to stop if she starts getting a cupid complex again. He says he will.

It seems that Justin wanted to have a chat with Ruairi about Bill: he's interested in Julianne Wright's recent acquisition and wonders if Ruairi knows anything about it. He is hoping for some inside info. Ruairi asks if that's the only reason Justin wanted to see him, and Justin says it is his understanding that the deal isn't legally binding yet; Ruairi tells him that he wouldn't know and asks why Justin doesn't ask her. Justin tells him not to be naive, and Ruairi says he had nothing to do with Julianne's business dealings, which leads Justin to comment that his loyalty is admirable and that Julianne must have really made it worth his while. When Ruairi wants to know what he means by that, he says that he didn't want to bring up the 'special business arrangement', and Ruairi, as if he were the naive he has just been told not to be, indignantly asks whether Julianne told him.

Brian is doing a good job of giving Will directions to Hazlehurst: stay on the B1985 all the way. He is sure Will knows that anyway, and doesn't need sat nav, nor him. Will says it'll be five years next week, which makes no sense to Brian until Will adds 'since Nic died', then talks about the things that have happened, stuff she's missed, feeling on his own even when there were people around him; he hasn't always coped that well, with which Brian agrees. But the anniversary reminds him he's survived, and what he's managed to get through. Brian can't believe it's been five years, and Will muses that it's still hard to wake up every day without her. Brian tells him that what he can't stand is walking into the house: even when Jenny was out it felt lived in, and now... Will knows, and is not going to pretend it gets easier, but it does get more bearable. Eventually. There will be times, when Brian gets past the darkest point, when he realises that he's felt happy for a bit, and that's good

Stalling hard, Ruairi is protesting that he really does want to help Justin, but it wasn't like he was at any of the meetings; Justin at once suggests that he understands that: Julianne didn't trust Ruairi with actual information. Ruairi says he did meet Bill, once or twice: he grew up near Ambridge and knows some of the same people as Brian. Justin asserts he is not interested in Bill's childhood and wants to know if that was really all they talked about. Ruairi first says yeah, then no, actually: when he told Bill dad had retired, sort of, he said he was hoping to retire soon, which Justin says he could find out from anyone. Ruairi digs into memory and reveals that he knows Julianne said she liked him, rated him and said it was a good job he was still chair of the board; when Justin asks if he knows why, Ruairi says because not everyone there voted for Julianne's bid, which Justin does find interesting. She was annoyed that some of them weren't happy with her getting the contract; one in particular thought she wasn't offering enough, and Ruairi thinks he might be able to remember his name; Justin says eagerly that this is exactly the kind of information that might be useful. Ruairi gently enquires about the 'business arrangement' with Julianne, and Justin asks 'what business arrangement?' All already forgotten.

As they drive around Borsetshire Brian tells Will that he knows people are trying to be nice, but after the first lot of clichés... 'Sorry for your loss,' says Will understandingly: he knows how Brian must feel, and offers 'I'm sure she's looking down on you'. Brian just switches off; he can't stand it, nor the look on their faces, which Will also knows. He suggests though that the ones who avoid you are worst, or don't avoid you but pretend nothing's changed. He says he's been there, the one making a hash of it or not saying anything, because it's all too embarrassing. When Brian asks whether he thinks death is embarrassing he says no, not death, but grief is: it's too big. Brian grunts agreement, and Will goes on to say there's no reason to grief; sometimes it's not there, then next week it hits you in the chest unexpectedly. Brian asks slightly desperately what he is to do: what did Will do? Tried to survive a day at a time, Will tells him, and do what caused least harm for him, for the kids. Brian cuts him off and says no, he can't take that on: his children don't leave him alone, they're always wanting to talk or eat or walk; he dreads Adam's big serious face at the door, and Alice constantly ringing him and rushing him to do things. Will suggests he has to find his own way through it, and he doesn't have to behave in some way just because people expect it of him. Nobody knows what he's feeling! No, agrees Brian. But, Will says, when Nic died he shut down, and in the end he had to ask for help; there's no shame in that.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 16th February, 2023

Alice reaches breaking point; Ruairi has had enough; Brian holds out an olive branch.

Characters: Alice, Brian, Roy, Kirsty, Ruairi
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Jenny Stephens
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Alice is chatting with Brian, which goes well while she is listening to his account of going out on Will's round in the morning yesterday, but falters when she mentions the funeral and becomes difficult when Brian asks if she has seen Ruairi today and says there is no room for him at The Nest. Brian feels it has gone on long enough and he should be back at the cottage with Brian. Alice temporises and says she doesn't think that's a good idea: Ruairi needs space; but she will talk to him. She thinks the garden is a mess and he ought to let Roy and Kirsty finish clearing it up: they must hate looking out on it as it is. This causes him first to say it would have been fine if they had left it alone in the first place, and then grunt when she asserts they were just trying to be kind. So she asks if he's had a chance to look at 'that brochure', and he asks what time she said she was picking up Martha. He clearly is not prepared to discuss arrangements for the funeral, objecting first to 'brochure', which sounds as if they are choosing a holiday, and then 'casket': what's wrong with 'coffin'? She asks if he likes any of them better than others? No. Should the rest of them decide then? No. When she asks what he is eating tonight he says not to worry about him, he can look after himself, and she finally goes off to fetch Martha.

Outside Willow House Roy and Kirsty are trying to get Phoebe's old dressing-table into the boot of the car to take to a charity shop. Roy has heard Jim and Justin talking about the charging station on the Brookfield land, and is surprised when Kirsty, unlike Jim, is in favour of it: you can't campaign for a greener future and then block the infrastructure to support it, she says cheerfully. As they are about to start lifting the dressing-table, Brian comes out and rather to their surprise offers to help, in a pleasant way.

At five in the evening Alice has brought Martha home and found Ruairi on the sofa with a partly-dressed Max; when she comes down from settling Martha in her room she is very angry indeed and launches into Ruairi about how unacceptable his behaviour is. She doesn't accept his apologies, and furiously says she can't believe he thought this was OK, shrilly enumerating all the things wrong with it including the fact that this is Martha's home. Ruairi grovels and says he didn't think, but she is not placated. Then she finds some Rizlas and is furious that they were smoking in her house, which Ruairi denies, saying they they were rolling up indoors, but smoking outside. Alice doesn't find this acceptable: 'Just skinning u-u-up, how considerate!" she says sarcastically. This is basic, she tells him: you stay somewhere, you behave. Why doesn't he know that? She shouldn't have to tell him this: he's her brother! Ruairi says lamely that the last thing he wanted was to make things more difficult for her, and she responds tartly, 'Well, you have.' She then launches into an account of how ill-done-by she is: she's been working all day, she's knackered, she feels caught between a rock and a hard place with everyone, she still has to make Martha's dinner; small wonder she has a splitting headache. Ruairi tries to make amends by offering to get water and a paracetamol, but her only reply to his attempted peace-making attempt is that she can't deal with this. She's spent the last two weeks looking out for him, looking after him, worrying whether he's OK; when he says he knows and asks what he can do to make this better she snaps, 'You're a grown-up. Act like one!' He could start by going to see Dad: she is sick of making excuses for him and just wants to come home with her daughter, shut the door and not have to deal with any of this. She is at her wits' end.

The car is loaded, and Roy and Kirsty thank Brian for his help. He asks whether they need anything else while he's there, and Roy is just saying that there is nothing when Kirsty, with a bit more ability to see an opportunity for bridge-building when one is presented, suggests that they do have to get everything downstairs; the penny finally drops after she has talked at Roy for a bit, and he agrees that if Brian could help with that it would be brilliant. Kirsty suggests they could get started at once, but Brian stops her and asks whether they'd mind if they shift the pile of rubbish in his garden first: it's quite an eyesore. When Roy says it's getting dark, and he could do it in the morning before work, Kirsty points out that with the spotlights on they'll be able to see well enough, and Brian comments that he thinks once that's done the garden will look OK again, almost up to Jenny's standards; he thanks them for having got started on it.

Ruairi is packing to go, and a less fraught Alice tries to persuade him to stay until the following morning, or to see Brian before he leaves. He can't face that right now, but he will sort it. She doesn't get what this was all about; she thought he was feeling better, and when he says he was feeling almost all right she mutters she'd take that. He affirms that he will be back for the funeral, and she has another burst of complaint about Brian refusing to talk about it; when she mentions it he changes the subject. Ruairi declares that Kate said the same thing, and Alice grumbles that Kate and Adam both do, but Kate has Noluthando there and spends more time working at Spiritual Home than she did when it was her grand passion. Ruairi agrees that Kate is all over the place, and Alice proposes that if he does plan to speak to Brian again it would be handy to do it sooner rather than later: maybe he might have more success about the funeral brochure. Ruairi doubts it. She starts breathing heavily and saying that she hates all this, and now they're fighting, which leads him to try to take all the blame, and say that at least she won't have to worry about him on top of everything else. She tells him that just because he isn't there doesn't mean she won't worry, and her worry is that it's all about Julianne. She makes him promise not to see her in London, which he willingly does: he is going to get his head down and get on with his course-work. The subject of Max is then raised: when Ruairi says he doesn't know why he did it, there's nothing there, she enquires why he invited him round if he doesn't even like him? Ruairi pertinently asks whether she never brought anyone home that she didn't care if she never saw again, and finishes his packing. She begs him to look after himself, they agree they will miss each other, and he shuts the door and is gone. After a very short burst of hyperventilation Alice rings Lisa and leaves a message saying that she needs to see her, she needs help, she's not coping and she wants a drink.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 17th February, 2023

Alice is having a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, and passes it on to Brian.

Characters: Noluthando, Brian, Alice, Lisa
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Jenny Stephens
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Brian has been showing Noluthando pictures of his wedding to Jennifer, and Alice, speaking as to a small child, says that's such a lovely idea. Noluthando, not going along with this, makes a joke about his hat being Dickensian, and also says that Jennifer looked modern and stylish; they joke together until Alice congratulates him on having done the garden, again as though telling a small child a drawing is lovely, assuming that he did it himself. He says that it was with Roy and Kirsty after she left; she snidely says 'so you apologised', to which he ripostes 'for what?' He asks whether Noluthando is ready to go: they are off to look at Arkwright Hall. Alice has to meet Lilian at The Stables; Noluthando saw her at Bridge Farm last night, but not talking to Tony. When Alice asks whether Kate has seen Alan about the flowers, Brian points out she said she was in a rush to leave, and she says she is; after seeing Lilian she has a meeting in Borchester; she just dropped in to let him know 'Roorih' went back to London last night, but he'll be back for the funeral. She will also be speaking to the funeral directors, so if he's had any thoughts...? He says he hasn't had time, and right now he needs to get his boots on. She warns him she will ring him about it later, and when he seems not to be attending says 'Dad!' sharply, but finally goes and leaves him in peace with Noluthando.

In a Borchester café Alice is greeted by Lisa, who has come to meet her and says she was sorry to hear about her mum's death; she is immediately subjected to a complaint about Alice's troubles with Brian, followed by a bout of tears, and makes it clear she has not been impressed by Alice ignoring her for so many weeks. Alice makes an excuse about everything having been impossibly difficult, but Lisa doesn't accept that: when it's hard, that's when it is most important to keep up with calls. Alice says she is sorry, but Lisa has no idea how Brian has been behaving, making everything difficult, and she misses her mother, all the time. Lisa is matter-of-fact as she says of course she does, but Alice goes on to say that yesterday her brother made things worse, and her sister is more interested in selling her business than helping arrange things, and she sometimes wants to tell her she really couldn't care less. Lisa interrupts her in mid-flow and says Alice knows what she's going to say, what she has to say, doesn't she? Alice doesn't, so Lisa reminds her that although she has an awful lot on her plate, it's really important not to get caught in a cycle of self-pity. Alice is shocked and says that's unfair, when her family is falling apart around her and they all want her to make it better somehow, and go to work, and be a mum, and she can't do it! Firmly, Lisa says she isn't denying it is tough for her, and she'd be struggling too, but her job is to help Alice stay sober. Alice can't believe it and says 'My mum's dead' in a pathetic voice; Lisa says she knows that, and Alice hasn't been ringing her, which astounds Alice. Lisa asks what Alice has done in the past few weeks that will help keep her sober, and it becomes clear that Alice has not been doing the things that have been recommended: she has skimped on her daily gratitude list, for instance, and Lisa at once says that it is while she is in a state that she most needs to do it. She has to make it a priority. Alice says she knows, that's why she is there, and Lisa points out that she's not her friend and not a shoulder to cry on: Alice has friends for that, and Lisa is there only to help her navigate her way through this without a drink. It may sound callous, but that is the point of her. She's glad Alice rang, because she seems to have loads of excuses to wallow in misery, or go into self-destruct, to have a drink. Alice denies having said she was looking for an excuse to have a drink, and Lisa is unimpressed: alcoholics will drink if they snap a shoelace, and she will go back to it not because her mum died or her dad is being difficult, but because she stopped working at staying sober, When asked if she has been to meetings Alice admits she hasn't, and Lisa asks her how important being sober is to her, getting the answer 'It's everything.' When Alice says she hasn't had time to go to a meeting, Lisa recounts a story about her own experience of not being comforted when her ex turned up at a meeting and caused drama, but instead encouraged by her buddy to help someone else. Her buddy was right, and she did as she'd been told and didn't backslide. She knows what has been working for Alice, and she knows Alice has stopped when she most needs it: helping someone else is the reason Lisa is there at all, and still sober. Alice says 'yeah', and gets a pep-talk about keeping the seductive addiction at bay.

Out in the grounds of Arkwright Hall Noluthando asks about Brian's quiet wedding, and helps him talk about his having loved Jennifer and missing her all the time, then talks about how different her broken affair was from his lifetime one, and Brian is the first person to ask if she misses her ex; she doesn't really: she misses how he was, not how he is now. They agree she is well rid of him, but she says it still hurts; Brian, calling on Will's wisdom, says it will start to hurt less, eventually. She has so much to look forward to, and her mother says her teaching is going well; she says she likes it and loves the kids. Their peaceful agreement is interrupted when a message arrives with a beep on Brian's phone, and he explodes: it's Kate, making two messages from Alice, three from Kate and two from Adam, and all he wanted was to go out for a walk and for a few hours not have people hassling him about things like coffins and flowers. Is that too much to ask?

Alice has agreed that she has to put staying sober first, and Lisa directs her to go to meetings, about which Alice instantly cavils: that's easier said than done, with excuses about working and not having had Martha so much when this started. Lisa is unimpressed: she's talking about one meeting a week, possibly two. Alice continues to argue about how difficult it would be, and Lisa point out that she has just said that staying sober comes first; she needs to stop making excuses and make it work. Alice says that because she hasn't had a drink, she thought she'd be okay stepping back a bit while everything else is so full-on, and Lisa says maybe she will, and this way isn't the only way, there's no law saying she has to listen to Lisa, but she does have to be honest with herself. Is her way working? Alice has to admit it isn't, and Lisa says she needs to put staying sober back at the centre of things. She should phone Lisa even when she doesn't like what she has to say.

Back at Willow Cottage Brain and Noluthando are getting on well together chatting about Ambridge and their afternoon when Alice comes in and ignores Noluthando's attempt to involve her in what they were talking about, choosing instead to hassle Brian about what sort of coffin they are going to have for Jennifer. Brian has quite suddenly had enough. When she tells him which coffin they all like and asks his opinion, he tells her he doesn't like any of them, and when Alice says obviously they'd all prefer not to need one at all commands her to say that to the undertakers: tell them he doesn't want a coffin, or flowers, not memorial booklets or readings or hymns. Noluthando tries to intervene, and Alice says it's fine, she gets it, the pressure is horrible and they can just organise it without involving him, and he tells her sharply to stop and listen. He doesn't want them to organise it. She interrupts him to assert that they have to, and Noluthando insists she must to let him speak. He tells them he misses Jenny every minute, but he doesn't have to do this. They can tell the others there won't be a funeral, and when Alice says that she can't, they have to have a funeral, for Mum, he denies that and says that no, Alice, he doesn't have to do anything.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 19th February, 2023

Emotional blackmail, intrusive bullying, and failure to pass on information: just another Ambridge day.

Characters: Susan, Alice, Tony, Helen, Brian, Lee
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Gwenda Hughes
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Susan has gone round to see Alice, and found her hanging up some washing in the house. Alice apologises for the mess, and Susan's saying that she wondered whether she could be of any help with the funeral opens the floodgates; she bursts into tears and tells Susan, who didn't mean to upset her, that it's kind of her to offer but at the moment they're not sure there's going to be a funeral.

Tony has gone round to see Helen and Lee, and tells them Pat would happily have fed Lee's children and Helen's children at Bridge Farm, as well as Noluthando (who is visiting Peggy), but Helen says their dinner is almost ready. The various children seem to want to help with planting the broad beans in the polytunnel, and are getting on well together; Lee thinks they are being ominously quiet while laying the table in the other room and goes to check on them, leaving Helen to worry to Tony about Lee needing quality time with his girls before they go. His concern is that she might be doing too much, and he offers that he and Pat could do more, but she says that isn't it; Lee has taken the week off to be there. She and the girls have spent some time together when Lee went to football with Jack and Henry, and she has discovered they are very excited about going to California, but they won't say it in front of Lee; Lee is letting himself imagine life with them in Ambridge, because they enjoy it there. Tony tries to blame himself, but Helen impatiently tells him they are past all that; it's Lee she is worried about now.

Having got from Susan the sympathy she didn't get from Lisa, Alice tells her all about what's wrong, and how Dad refuses to talk to her and make decisions, and she's just not coping; he isn't speaking to her now. She talks herself into a right old taking, again, with Susan speaking softly and kindly in the gaps, and ends up by saying that sometimes she just wants to hide under the table with a bottle of vodka and wait for it all to be over. She then says she doesn't want to burden the family with it but she needs to go to meetings regularly: she used to, but how can she find time right now when she's firefighting at every turn and nobody is communicating. Mum would have snapped Brian out of it. She then produces Jennifer's recipe book and talks about that instead and how she plans to repair it so none of the loose pages gets lost, and Susan talks about wonderful cooking by Jennifer and how she was unable to imitate it when Jennifer shared her recipe for chocolate hazelnut mousse, until Alice has calmed down and show Susan things in the book. Then she starts to cry again because it's so unfair she'll never see Jennifer again, and Susan falls back into the comforter rôle and assures her she will get through this.

The conversation over the cooking is still going on, with Helen telling Tony again that Lee thinks everything is going well but she is afraid about how he will feel when he discovers his daughters still want to go away: he'll come crashing down. She doesn't know what she's going to do; she supposes she could find a way of broaching the subject, but Tony asks whether that doesn't risk making her look like the bad guy, only saying it for an easy life. She replies that she can't just sit back and do nothing, and he begs her to think carefully: it's not an easy situation. She agrees to that.

When Brian answers the door he is understandably short with Susan, who tells him she has just come from Alice's and has been told he says there's going to be no funeral for Jennifer: why would he say a thing like that? He tells her that it is a family matter, and she interrupts him to tell him that's why she's there. She appreciates what he's going through, they all do – Brian interrupts her to say 'Good. Then you'll kindly leave me alone, please' but she carries on and tells him he cannot shut himself away and pretend this isn't happening. She tells him he has to speak to his children and make decisions with them, and as he tries again to interrupt her flow she tells him that Alice is beside herself with worry and feeling she is trying to keep all the plates spinning on her own, to which Brian says she isn't on her own and, more sharply, that she's wrong; and forgive him, but he doesn't have to do anything because Susan says so. Who the devil is she to come into his home and tell him what to do? In a lowered and dramatic voice, Susan tells him Alice is thinking about drinking again. She hasn't, and God willing she won't, but please, don't put her in that position! She doesn't want to burden anyone with it, but as he said, it's a family matter and he is Alice's family. No matter what he's going through, she has to deal with the addiction as well as the loss and that can't be easy. Susan will see herself out. Aghast, Brian asks her what he is supposed to do, and Susan tells him to be Alice's father: that's all she needs right now.

The children are all on Lee and Helen's bed watching a film, with Mabel not doing washing-up duty as she is meant to, but Helen tells Lee to leave them to it, and he suggests maybe the two of them could snuggle up and watch something on the telly; Helen thinks that sounds nice. Lee says that it felt at dinner as if the girls had always been there, and they get on well with Helen: she makes them feel comfortable. She manages not to tell him that she thinks this won't last, and sends him off to pick something for them to watch while she puts the left-overs in the fridge. He goes to do as he is told.

Brian has gone over to The Nest, where Alice is surprised to see him. She wants to know what he is doing there, and he says he is checking in on her, as they all seem to do with him every hour on the hour. She invites him in because it's freezing, and he says it's crisp, but that jumper would see her through an arctic winter; she tells him Mum got it for her for Christmas. Brian tells her he has been looking at coffins, (she says 'OK'), and he thinks her mother would want something decent, but not over the top (she says 'Agreed') so he's marked a few in the brochure. Perhaps she could get together with Kate in the morning and work out some of the arrangements. For the funeral? asks Alice in disbelief. Yes, he tells her. Then he tells her that he owes her an apology; they're all going through ... whatever they're going through, coping however they can, but saying what he said about not having a funeral ... 'It's OK, Dad,' says Alice, but he disagrees. No no no, it isn't; if Jenny could see him now ... 'She'd know you were doing your best,' says Alice, but he tells her Jenny would say his best wasn't good enough, and it hasn't been, but he promises he'll be there for any decisions they need to make together, and whatever she, and Kate, and Adam organise for the funeral, he's confident it will be the perfect goodbye.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 20th February, 2023

David and Ruth get nervous, Alice gets validation and her very own recipe book, and Lee gets backed into a corner.

Characters: Lilian, Alice, Helen, Lee, Ruth, David, Susan
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Gwenda Hughes
Editor: Jeremy Howe

At The Stables Lilian and Alice are competing in sympathy for each other about being tired and needing distraction, until Alice gets a message from Susan offering to have Martha tonight, and says she has to talk with Dad and Kate about the funeral arrangements, which causes Lilian to grumble about Brian having said there would be no funeral and how she nearly went round to give him an earful; she is surprised when Alice says he apologised for what he had said, and then wishes people could be as forthcoming with apologies to her. Alice asks her about travel arrangements to the funeral: they need to know how many cars to book and who is travelling with whom [to St Stephen's and then the graveyard there; why do they need to hire a fleet of cars for that, when they live in the village and all have cars anyway? Chris]. Lilian agrees to go and speak to Peggy about it, then urges Alice to take Susan up on her offer, but Alice is not sure she should: she made a stupid mistake last night.

At the farm shop Helen is surprised to see Lee, who is having a problem about pancake wars at home, which is to be English versus American with Pat and Tony as the judges. Mabel wants to know, does Helen have buttermilk? She doesn't. He is team England, and she wishes him good luck but says that when it comes to food and kids, Americans win every time.

The cows are being brought in for calving at Brookfield, where David and Ruth are strawing down and discussing Ben and the B&B, which as Ruth says is just one room, thankfully. David reckons they need to cushion him from any hiccoughs and keep building his confidence: he's done the food hygiene and safety course, and it's pretty basic, what they're offering. Ruth splutters with laughter and suggests that should be their ad: 'come and stay at Brookfield B&B, it's pretty basic.' She's sure he will make a success of it, though he's starting at The Laurels next week too, and it's literally a bed, and some breakfast: what can go wrong? David isn't sure: Ben has talked to Jill about when she ran a B&B at Brookfield, but that was years ago and he wishes there were someone they could ask, and get some up-to-date advice before they launch the business. Ruth doubts there are many who would give them that free.

There has been a broken glass disaster at the shop and Susan has to clear it all up before serving Lilian, then finds that Lilian is there not to buy but to talk. She's worried about Alice, for whose being worn out Susan is sympathetic. Lilian tells her Alice is concerned she may have over-shared yesterday, and wishes she hadn't admitted to Susan she was so close to having a drink. When Susan texted her she was afraid her offer to look after Martha might mean that Susan thought Alice wasn't up to it. Susan grasps the problem immediately, and when Lilian offers, if that's not the case, to tell Alice so, Susan asks her to let Susan sort this.

The idea of asking Lynda for advice has occurred to David, though Ruth is unsure she will give away her secrets to them; David says he will remind her about her having the use of their barn for her Christmas production. He's sure she owes them one or two favours by now. Ruth continues to be unsure about it, but David reckons it's worth a try; he'll call her as soon as he gets the chance.

True to her word, Susan has gone to see Alice, who offers her a cup of tea; she refuses it, and gets straight to what she is there for. She tells Alice what Lilian said, and that she thought she'd come and see her. Alice admits she said some things that perhaps she should not have done, but the thing is, she always feels the urge to drink; the point is, she hasn't and she wouldn't. She tells Susan all about not being able to find the time to call her buddy or go to meetings, and having so much to process; she called her last week and they have a strategy in place. There's no room for self-pity, and she starts to list the things she must make the time for no matter what. Susan finally manages to say more than the word 'Alice', and explains she was only thinking Alice needed some proper rest; she's sorry if her message worried Alice. Alice asks if that is true, and when reassured that it makes sense to Susan that she wants to hide away from it all, and the thing that makes her a very good mother and a strong person is that she hasn't given in to it, starts to cry, saying that she really hasn't. But it's been so hard! Susan comforts her, assuring her it's not going to happen because she is so much stronger than that. Alice says she feels lucky to have Susan there, and Susan replies they are all lucky to have each other: if death teaches us anything it's to value those we love while we have them, She is then reminded to give Alice something she has brought for her: a recipe book of her very own to put all of Jennifer's recipes in, and write down her own. Alice finds it beautiful, especially the butterflies added by Poppy and Keira to make it special, and thanks her.

The ominous opening, 'Lee, we need to talk', alarms Lee. Helen tells him that his daughters are excited about going to California, and haven't told him so because they didn't want to hurt him. They have talked to her about their plans for being there. Lee concludes that she doesn't want them to stay, which she instantly denies, saying it's not about her. She admits she had reservations, but she is loving having them there for the week; it isn't about what she wants or what he wants, it's about them understanding what the girls want. She thinks they want San Francisco, which makes him upset about having always been shut out, asking what sort of dad it makes him if they move to the States? Twice a year is not enough; the age they're at, he and they are really connecting: is he supposed to just give that up? When Helen says 'No' he responds bitterly that he has no choice, there's nothing he could do, and she drops her bombshell: there is, because he could go with them. It's a very real option, and he'd have no trouble finding work. Despairingly, he asks 'But what about us?' and gets no reply.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 21st February, 2023

Kirsty is hoist by her own petard; Helen, inevitably, is not.

Characters: Kirsty, Roy, Brian, Tony, Helen, Lee
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Gwenda Hughes
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Kirsty has phoned Roy to complain that Brian has come round bringing a frozen shepherd's pie as a thank-you for having him over the other night, and volunteered to help her with the decorating; he's gone home to put on some overalls and she wants Roy to come home and get rid of him. Roy thinks it's nice he's being helpful, but she doesn't want him: she just wanted a little peace with her paintbrush and she doesn't want to have to tiptoe round Brian. Roy says she ought to show a little sympathy, but she says she has, on several occasions. [Since they started talking to him at all, which was on Thursday? And when he has been over to dine with them once? Chris.] Roy needs to get home as soon as possible and help. When he asks how he is to help, she doesn't know, and then the doorbell rings and she goes and is sweet as pie [non-shepherd's, we presume. Gus] to Brian.

What Helen has said to Lee astounds Tony, who can't think why she told him he should go to California. She says she didn't want to be the one standing between him and his daughters, and tries to talk about the broad beans, but Tony isn't to be deflected. He tells her that suggesting Lee could go sounds as if she wanted him to go, and she says that she does if that's what he wants. She can't pretend Lee's only choice is to watch his girls go: she sees how much he's hurting and the only thing stopping him is them being a couple. When Tony asks what if he decides to go, she admits she doesn't know. Tony asks what happens to her and the boys if he goes: do they go too? She can't see how. So that would be the end of her and Lee? persists Tony. She wishes it were simpler, but she can't stand in the way if he wants to be with his girls, and if he stayed, their life together would be pretend. Tony says that's very noble, but also risky: it could cost her happiness. She says it's Lee's happiness she's thinking of, and since last night she doesn't even know if he's talking to her. That'll make judging the pancake competition fun, opines Tony gloomily, and Helen makes him even more cheerful by asking if he's had a chance to speak to Lilian yet; one problem at a time, he groans.

When Roy gets home at last, Brian is asleep in an armchair, and has been for just over an hour; Roy wonders if he can't sleep in his own house, in his own chair. Kirsty grumbles on: he tried to help paint but was no use, so she convinced him he should come down and take a break and after a cup of tea and two digestives, he fell asleep. Maybe Roy should wake him. They are both fed up because he is spoiling their plans for their dull evening; Roy suggests going to the pub and leaving a note in case he wakes up, but Kirsty won't hear of it. Anyway, Roy is starving, and remembers that Brian brought a shepherd's pie; Kirsty goes to put it in the oven.

Tony has been sought out by Lee, who has found himself unneeded for the pancakes; he is not terribly happy when he thinks that his girls may have confided in Tony about wanting to go to San Francisco, but Tony explains Helen has talked with him about it. Lee is sure she is looking for a way out, literally asking him to leave, but Tony makes it clear that she isn't: she is pointing out that Lee has an option and could stay closer to them no matter the cost to her and the boys. Lee is miserable because when he asked her 'What about us?' she didn't answer; Tony points out it's not her decision to make, and she doesn't want to make it more difficult for him. Lee says despairingly that the thought it was about him and the girls, and now it's about him and Helen as well; maybe he's not good at judging this kind of thing! Why did she tell him going was an option? Tony asks what he'd tell her if she faced the same situation with Jack and Henry; what she said, she suggested because she loves him and knows how much he loves his girls. Lee asks what he's supposed to do, and Tony evades the question by telling him he can be a good parent at a distance as well as in the same house. Lee is worried that they will think he doesn't love them, which Tony pooh-poohs, telling him they know he does, and he is a good father to them and to Henry and Jack.

The radio is on, and Brian wakes apologetic saying that narrator always sends him to sleep; Roy says it happens to the best of us and Kirsty suggests he must be tired and need an early night. He is preparing to go home, telling them not to forget the shepherd's pie, when Roy outrages Kirsty by inviting him to stay and eat it; he says he couldn't possibly impose, Roy presses him, and after token resistance he goes to get changed, offering to bring a decent bottle of wine back with him. After he is gone Kirsty expresses exasperation and Roy is cross with her: Brian did bring the pie over, after all. She feels that their house is being taken over; it isn't that her heart doesn't go out to Brian, but she doesn't find him congenial because he holds views that she doesn't about her job, and once he's had a couple of drinks he doesn't know when to stop. She's so tired of having to smile politely and wait for him to wind down. She doesn't know which is worse: when he's out like a light on the sofa, or when he's railroading the conversation. Roy suggests she could ring him and ask him not to come after all, but though they start to have row about that, it fades into laughter and she just tells him he is doing all the clearing up.

Lee and Helen are out for a walk, and apologise to each other; Lee takes the blame for not having talked to her about what she said last night, and having spoken to Tony knows that he was wrong to think she wanted him to leave the country. Tony cleared things up for him, for instance by asking what he'd say if the positions were reversed, and so he has spoken to Alisha, and will speak to Mabel and Evie tonight. He's come to a decision: if Helen can be courageous enough to support him leaving to be with his daughters, he ought to be man enough to let his girls be happy, to let them go. The delighted Helen asks, does that mean he's staying? He says yes: this way he can be a good dad to his daughters and to his sons as well. Helen tells him she has been trying to think how to tell the boys he would be moving far away and couldn't find the words; good, says Lee, because he's not.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 22nd February, 2023

Tony is flattened, David taken aback, Roy discomfited and Lilian advised.

Characters: Tony, Lilian, David, Lynda, Adil, Roy
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Gwenda Hughes
Editor: Jeremy Howe

As Lilian stalks out of Bridge Farm Tony tries to get her to listen to him, or talk to him at all; she says she has talked to Peggy about transport, and when he says the she, Mum, Pat and he can travel together she says that the way things are at the moment she would rather go in a separate car, and Peggy agrees that Lilian should go with Leonie and James while Peggy, Pat and Tony go together. He thinks this is a silly arrangement [and all cars seat six in comfort? Chris] and foolishly suggests that Jennifer would have wanted them to show a united front just for one day, giving Lilian the opportunity to ask him not to tell her what Jenny would have wanted. She then informs him that Jenny would not have wanted anyone to upset Mum on the way to the funeral, slams her car door and drives away.

At Nightingale Farm David has come to ask Lynda for her help, and interrupted only by Adil reminding her he is expecting a parcel in the afternoon and being reminded to collect his packed lunch (which worries David: are packed lunches expected at a B&B?) she gives him a great deal of good advice, after making it clear to him that Ambridge Hall is a high-end establishment and he really can't compare Brookfield to them. She praises their having tea making facilities in the room and is doubtful about the shared bathroom, but what David really wants is advice about last-minute snags, or issues they may not have thought of. She laughs and tells him she can't tell what would be required or best suited to Brookfield without seeing it for herself. She proposes to come over and cast a final eye over everything, particularly when she hears that it is for Ben's benefit. When he cavils, saying they'll probably be with the cows, she asks if he wants Ben to make a success of it, and when David says 'Yes', tells him she will see him later.

Adil and Roy are discussing the reconstruction of Grey Gables, and Roy apologises for being late and not meeting the architect when she arrived; she has gone out into the grounds to inspect things. Adil too was not there, having been delayed by a call from his sister: it is doing his head in. When Roy says 'you too' he wants to know who has been bugging Roy, and gets a long rant about Brian – coming round too often, having to be handled carefully – then offers a simple solution: stop inviting him. Roy can't, because it's the right thing to do; not if you don't mean it, says Adil bluntly. When Roy continues to complain, Adil says that doesn't sound too bad, and once things settle Brian will get back to his new normal. Roy's continuing whinging gradually seems to exasperate Adil, who wants to know why, after spending ages moaning about the guy, Roy would accept a dinner invitation from him, and when Roy is about to say "because it's the right thing to do' tells him that the right thing to do has to come with the right intention, otherwise it's hypocrisy. Fortunately for Roy, whom this reduces to silence, Adil's phone rings and they are called out to the architect.

A minor disaster and soil everywhere is going on at Bridge Farm when Lee arrives to talk to Tony and ask if he has spoken to Helen; Tony says she seems happy. Lee has decided to look on the bright side about California, and thanks Tony for his sound reasoning and help. Tony says he is very welcome; if only everyone was open to sound reasoning! Lee realises this is about Lilian, whom Tony describes as 'stubborn as a mule.'

Lynda makes good on her promise, or threat, to have a look at Brookfield, startling David by having let herself in. She is not impressed by his ideas, nor by the smell in the kitchen. She feels they need to put a television in the room, and makes various other comments which are not acceptable to David; after his second minor disagreement with her diktats she treats him to the Full Snell Snyff and tells him he clearly has no idea what it is like to have a real live guest staying at his B&B. She cannot in all good conscience allow him to go ahead in the world of B&Bs without a trial run of his place; she will stay there in rôle as a guest, tomorrow night. He says she really shouldn't bother; she tells him to learn not to look a gift horse in the mouth and hands him a list of matters he is to address before she arrives. He sighs wearily.

At lunch Roy offers Adil a share of his food, and apologises for going on about Brian. Adil's reply is that if Roy wants to feel sorry for Brian, he should feel sorry for him, and if he wants to moan then moan, but doing both is crazy. He is complaining about being taken at his word. How does Roy think Brian would feel if he could hear him now? Roy is abashed and apologetic, and Adil says that he lost someone close a few years ago: it's bad enough you're going through hell, the last thing you need is people being insincere and offering fake support.

Lilian is booking in Lee's daughters for 'taster sessions' at The Stables, and when she suggests that they will be able to have more riding if they come back for a longer visit he tells her they are moving abroad with their mum, so he wants to make the most of his time with them before they do. We never know what tomorrow brings, so we might as well make the most of today, he says sententiously, then moves instantly to telling Lilian that he was so sad to hear about her sister, but for the life of him he can't see why she would want to make more distance between her and her brother at a time like this. She starts to cut him off politely but he talks on, telling her that Tony is hurting because of the rift, and she tells him more kindly than perhaps he deserves that it's not always that easy; he tells her that it is if you let it be, and while he's sorry and it's not his place, we should make the most of the present while we can. If a sudden loss doesn't teach us that, then what does it teach us?

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 23rd February, 2023

Lynda is deliberately difficult, while Roy and Kirsty try to make things easy.

Characters: David, Ben, Lynda, Kirsty, Brian, Roy, Alice
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Gwenda Hughes
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The first official B&B guest at Brookfield, a Ms Innis Pectre-Goole, is expected, and Ben is trying to make sure everything is just right, and feels they should sort out their on-line bookings, but David thinks that after calving is over would be the time to do that. Ben wants him to wash up his cup and mentions that Lynda is not charging them for her time; David is flabbergasted by the idea they would pay her for a free breakfast and a night in a clean bed and then pinches one of the 'guest' biscuits. Ben is concerned that it must all go really well because she's a perfectionist or, as David puts it, fussy. As Lynda knocks on the door David says 'all rise' in an affected voice, and Ben tells him to behave himself.

Supper at Willow Cottage is starting with canapés made by Alice and Noluthando, who came over to make sure Brian did Jenny proud. Kirsty is full of praise, and Roy offers to put the wine they brought with them into the fridge. When he is gone Brian encourages Kirsty to help herself to a drink, and Alice rings up Brian to check up on him and apologise for not being there to help. She has to talk with Auntie Lilian, who hasn't thawed yet: this does not surprise Brian. Alice says she will come and help clear up, and rings off. When he comes back into the room he apologises again for falling asleep at them, and they both tell him it was fine. When he goes out to check the cooking they have a low-voiced and conscience stricken conversation about Adil having lost someone and Roy asks her to keep it between her and him, then says the takeaway from the conversation was Brian; Roy feels terrible now for complaining, and they agree that from now on he is welcome to settle in their armchair and listen to wildlife documentaries all he wants.

Lynda is being as picky as might have been expected: she has come down to tell Ben the complimentary soaps in her room are scented and won't suit her skin. When he offers a cup of freshly-made tea she refuses it because she doesn't drink caffeine after six o'clock, and at that unfortunate moment David comes in out of the rain and lets Bess in, which starts Lynda fake-sneezing and claiming an allergy to dogs: having dogs in the house was not mentioned in 'the details'. David points out that it's a farm and, as Ben takes Bess away to the living room, that Lynda has a dog herself. The fiction that Lynda Snell and Innis Pectre-Goole are not the same person is then upheld by Lynda, who is indignant in her persona as an unknown guest that there was no warning about the dog: she lectures David about allergic reactions and then goes back upstairs, asking for her soaps to be put in the bathroom as she leaves the room fake-sneezing. [Which sounds exactly like the allergy-sneezing she has always claimed is real. Chris]

Supper has been delayed by the Beef Wellington not having cooked yet because Brian had it on too low; the veg is all ready, the beef is not. Kirsty has turned up the oven and the guests go on saying all is well; Brian is not convinced it is, and feels he has let Jenny down. When the pinger starts going off Roy insists on getting the beef out of the oven, and Kirsty explains it was his turn to cook; they take it in turns. When he brings the beef in Brian lets slip that this is a Beef Wellington of Jenny's from the freezer; Roy is impressed.

As David is washing himself down in the kitchen after a difficult delivery Lynda comes down again and is outraged; when she complains he points out that the family bathroom is to be kept nice for 'Innis' and anyway, what is she doing there? He thought 'Innis' had gone up for the night. When Ben comes anxiously to ask what is going on she explains she merely came down to see if they had some herbal teas and found his father half-naked and washing himself in the kitchen sink. Ben seems accusatory too; David asks what he's supposed to do when he has been practically banned from every other space in the house and his clothes are covered in afterbirth – 'too much information', says Lynda. Ben is concerned: is everything OK? As he and David discuss the cow and calf Lynda asks David at least to put on a shirt; this isn't an episode of Poldark. When David protests to Lynda, Ben and Lynda chorus 'Innis!' at him and he loses his cool and explains impatiently that he has been up since ... forever ... and doesn't expect much sleep tonight either, he is catching his breath in his own kitchen, and the dining room for guests is over there if Lynda is offended by his long-johns. Ben offers to put his clothes, and the tea-towel he has been using to rub himself down, in the laundry and then come down to help. David says no, he'd better stay with 'Innis' (who makes a snide comment about being able to look him in the face now he is almost dressed), but asks if he could fill a couple of flasks for him and Ruth and bring them out before he goes to bed. As he leaves, he plonks a packet down on the table and says, 'There. It's camomile. It's supposed to be relaxing,' and stomps out, leaving Lynda outraged in his wake. Ben asks Innis to fill out the breakfast request form, and she says it will take more than breakfast to wipe out the image of his father.

Brian is now offering Apple Strudel and Black Forest Gateau for pudding: both shop-bought, for which he apologises, but Roy and Kirsty continue to be easy to please. He is too busy talking about the architect at Grey Gables to notice they are not eating, and when Alice comes in she points out first that Brian still has his apron on and then that plates and forks would make it easier to eat pudding. Alice goes to fetch what is needed and Roy goes to the loo, and when left alone with Kirsty Brian apologises for not even being able to serve pudding, and contrasts himself unfavourably with perfectionist Jenny; Kirsty says that Jennifer loved looking after him and without him would have had no-one to spoil, and denigrates her and Roy's cooking. Brian says it's been lovely having the two of them over, and she says it has been a pleasure being there. She asks him to remember that Jennifer chose the life she had because she loved him; Brian says he misses her terribly, and Kirsty says she knows: if his Jenny could see him now, she'd be really proud of him.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 24th February, 2023

Innis gives a verdict, Lynda gives advice, and Tony and Lilian are gluily reconciled.

Characters: Ben, Lynda, Lilian, Tony,
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Gwenda Hughes
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Breakfast is served, with Innis refusing coffee but accepting tea; she asks about the various ingredients and Ben tells her the eggs are from his brother's hens and the sourdough bread cooked by his grandmother. She asks him to order a taxi to take her to Borchester for half an hour's time, and he goes to do that.

Lilian has been summoned by Peggy, but goes first to Tony's railway shed to ask if he knows what it is about. [Why, when she's not talking to him? Chris] Being very short with her, he says he doesn't know, then that possibly it is because Peggy is not happy about Lilian travelling in a separate car from them. Lilian is annoyed, saying it's a short car journey, not the end of the world, and he points out that perhaps when you are burying your child it can seem to last forever. He offers to suggest to Peggy that the kids want to travel with Lilian and Peggy, and he and Pat will go in a different car. She changes the subject and asks if the clock she can see is Dad's carriage clock, expressing surprise that it is working; he says yes. She says that it hasn't worked for years [see synopsis for Monday 16th January, 2023. According to Lilian that day it had stopped during the previous week. Chris] and he makes little of having mended it, then says he was trying to give it to her when she was in such a rush last time she was over. She mentions that she had a favour to ask: she has found a projector in the attic [which attic, for any sake? The Bull? The Dower House? Argh? Chris] and wanted to use it to look at a box of slides that was with it, but can't seem to get it working. Could he have a look at it? He is non-committal, and she says if he can get it working they can see if there are any images of Jenny they'd like for the funeral. He says he'll have a look now, and she goes to speak with Peggy.

The taxi should arrive soon, and Ben asks Innis if there is anything else he can help her with, and she asks him to bring down her bags because she has an inflamed knee, and to cancel the taxi since she can now have a lift with a friend; the driver possibly getting 'a bit narky' is not her problem.

The projector was simply jamming from age and dust in the works, and Tony has got it working. They fix some curtain-linings to a rail on the wall, though Lilian falls off a stepladder insisting on doing that rather than letting Tony do it; this makes them both laugh and end up in perfect accord. They agree that he will hang the 'screen' while she sorts out the slides.

Ben comes back to find Lynda petting Bess, which upsets him because the dog is not supposed to go near Innis and shouldn't be in the room with her, but Lynda laughs and says she is pleased to report that 'Eenis' has left the room; he is now in the company of his friend and compadre [sic. And we were. Chris and Gus.] Lynda Snell. He asks how they did; she asks how he thought it went. He thought the room went down well, and the breakfast, and she agrees and tells him what was less good: she was unsure about the shared bathroom, and the 'Poldark incident', although she sympathises with 'poor David' having to wash at the sink to keep the bathroom nice for her, was not something anyone should be expected to have happen. Ben however showed much patience with Eenis; he says it wasn't a walk in the park, and she tells him that was by design, a deliberate trial by fire: once you've dealt with a worst-case scenario everything else should indeed be a walk in the park. She advises him that while he address the customer's peculiarities very well, it was perhaps too well: for instance the soap would really not be his problem, and he could have directed her to the village shop for some. She suggests that his USP should be the action-packed, uber-reality of farming life. She believes there are plenty of potential guests out there who would be interested in such a place. And she believes that with a few tweaks here and there, Ben will be a very recommendable host of a very recommendable B&B. He's going to make a success of this, she can feel it in her bones.

Tony and Lilian are having a wonderful time looking through the slides and talking about times past, exclaiming over the scenes they are projecting, until memory of how Jenny always managed to cheer her up, or as Tony puts it, snap her out of a frump [and why that word, Naylah Ahmed alone knows. Chris] is suddenly too much for Lilian, and she has to go out 'to message Justin and tell him where she is'. After a little while Tony follows her and finds her in tears. When he asks if she's OK she says 'no, really not' and he says he isn't either; she pours out her sorrows about Jennifer and not being able to get her death and what she saw out of her head; he is really sorry she had to deal with that alone, and he understands why she is angry, but if she'd been there when Jenny told him she didn't want to burden Lilian until she had to... They just never expected it would be so soon; his voice cracks at that, and Lilian starts to cry in earnest again and wails that she still can't believe she's gone, and Tony tells her he can't either. If there was anyone who could bang their heads together when they were fighting it was her, says Tony miserably; Lilian sobs that Jenny was always the glue, she kept them together. Tony summons up determination and says it is now up to them: if she will forgive him, they can be the glue that keeps them all together, for Jennifer's sake. Lilian says there is nothing to forgive and she's been such a fool; Tony says she hasn't, she just misses her big sister. She says that she loves him, and he says he loves her and always will.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 26th February, 2023

In which both Freddie and the script fail to generate much interest.

Characters: Freddie, Lily, Noluthando, Cliff (no actor credited), Harrison, Alan, Neil
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Superintended by his big sister, Freddie is putting up some photographs of Lower Loxley Hall when Noluthando arrives and asks what is going on. He explains it's for the volunteer recruitment day, about which he told her last week; Lily quite unnecessarily informs him that not everyone is as interested as he is in that. Noluthando had been hoping just to hang out, and Lily is instantly sympathetic with her about things getting a bit fraught in Ambridge, and says they can hang out some other day; when does she go home? A week on Friday; that was a much compassionate leave as she could get. She is going home to flat-hunt, not staying on with her dad and Sipho. Lily suggests it might be a bit less stressed after the funeral, and Freddie asks if she's seen much of Brian, which gives her the chance to say that everyone's pretty worried about him and Alice is going to take special care of him at the funeral. She changes the subject back to the drop-in volunteer day, which will be run by Freddie, and of course Lily, and Cliff and Diane, the two longest-serving volunteers. Freddie plans to see how suited the people coming might be to various different rôles, not just as tour guides. At this point Cliff arrives, and while he goes to hang his coat is explained to Noluthando as 'self-appointed chief tour guide'; Lily says they especially want more tour guides, and in an undertone Freddie adds they are not after more guides like Cliff. It's clear Freddie is not keen on Cliff, so naturally Lily defends him. Freddie however is looking for younger blood: most of the guides are pretty ancient so no wonder younger people stay away from the house in droves. Families visit the rare breeds and the treetop walk, but not the house, which he feels ought to be the core of the enterprise. On the far side of the room Cliff gets out his flask, and Lily patronisingly says that she has been trying to explain to Freddie that older people are more likely to have spare time in which to volunteer; when she mentions them needing an interest in history, Freddie suggests that since Noluthando is a history teacher she might help, saying that mum made him head of volunteering (which Lily immediately disputes, saying "temporary volunteer coordinator") and though rather taken aback, Noluthando agrees to do it.

Harrison is doing his best to demonstrate his new-found Christianity to Alan by talking about giving things up for Lent more mindfully than he used to, and Alan plays along with his resolutions now being for others rather than just himself. He has given up being a slave to work so that he can do more for other people; Alan says he does very important work, then reminds him he has offered to rehang the curtain in the Lady Chapel. As Harrison is talking about wanting to do more for the village, Neil comes over to ask if he can ring on Friday, to which Harrison immediately agrees since he is planning to be at the funeral anyway. Harrison apologises for having missed a lot of ringing recently but explains his resolution to do more for the community; Neil suggests he might volunteer at Lower Loxley, but he isn't really interested. Alan offers him coffee and conversation if he isn't going to go after Neil, though no biscuits because it's Lent.

Neil is being grilled by Freddie, Lily and Noluthando, though not it seems by Cliff, who is clearly too bashful to open his mouth in such exalted company. He lists his qualifications, and is patronised by Lily for a bit, then quizzed by Noluthando about what he means by 'heritage' and how he pursues his interest in it. As they start to get involved in discussion of John Tregorran and Jennifer's book about Ambridge, both Freddie and Lily interrupt, with Lily talking over Freddie suggesting they don't want to waste Neil's time in order to ask what other experience he could bring to the rôle, leading to a brief résumé of his whole life. Since he has no more questions, Lily tells him they will be in touch about the next stage, and he leaves. Freddie is not sure about getting in touch, but Lily puts him right about that: Freddie would be mad not to, Neil is a lovely man and good with people, and would take the job seriously. Freddie still thinks they need volunteers below bus-pass age; they aren't going to attract more people with clones of Diane and Cliff. Lily tells him in her most supercilious way that beggars can't be choosers, and she would like to remind him that they have been there for two hours and had interest from precisely one person.

Harrison and Alan discuss Alan's nerves about taking the funeral; sometimes he'd just like to be in the congregation, when it's a friend being buried. He fears making a mistake. There is also the tension between him and the Aldridges over the window; Harrison has heard about that and is sympathetic, but he hates to think what Kate's reaction would be if he messed anything up. Funerals are a day families never forget; he really has to get this one right.

At the end of the volunteer-drive, Noluthando is trying to cheer Freddie up; only a handful of people showed up, whereas he had expected to be picking out the cream of a large crop. Lily points out that Leah Button seemed keen to help in the office, and he has Neil and Oliver as well. Freddie says Oliver is even older than Cliff: where's his fresh blood? Noluthando suggests he could try a different approach: maybe a social media campaign? Lily sardonically suggests handing out flyers in nightclubs or doing a stunt on TikTok, and when he says she is being silly, tell him he could just accept that's the way things are. Freddie, outraged, says that if he is to prove himself to Mum he can't just recruit a couple more wrinklies.

After he has hung the curtains Harrison has a further chat with Alan about having personal feelings at the same time as having a job to do; he knows about that as a police officer, and the best thing he can do when that happens is simply to do his job. Friday is going to be a big occasion, but if they felt awkward the Aldridges wouldn't have asked Alan to do the service, and he thinks he can relax about it. Alan says he'll try to remember that; at the end of the day, it's not about him: it's about Jennifer, and the people she's left behind.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 27th February, 2023

Neither Ben nor Kate appears to be up to the task in hand.

Characters: Lee, Ben, Kate, Alan, William Padry (a patient at The Laurels)
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Not long after arriving at The Laurels Ben is hailed by Lee, to whom he explains that he's been shadowing Farida but is about to start work on his own. His experience on the nursing course is helping him, and Lee reckons he ought to find it all straightforward. Lee is putting up a poster about his seated exercise class, and Ben offers to try to help him get support for it.

As the representative of the whole family, Kate has come to see Alan; they've all agreed on the points he asked about. She just going to start talking about them when he interrupts her to mention the friction over what Kate calls 'Gran's window', which has been playing [sic] on his mind. He wants to put it behind them, and Kate affirms that they should put it behind them completely: it seems trivial now. He is relieved to hear it. She expresses herself as ready to go into the details, and he asks to start with the music: what have they decided on?

A tentative knock on a door is answered with grumbling, and Ben comes in to be greeted by a patient who thinks he looks as if he is from the local infant school and is thoroughly impatient with him, demanding his breakfast; Ben intends to get him out of bed first. Just as he's about to start doing so, Lee knocks and comes in: he has a therapy session booked with the patient, William, who says not on an empty stomach. Lee is a little disconcerted to learn that William has not yet had breakfast, but when William says he is dying of hunger Lee comes back sharply with the comment that he can afford to lose a bit of weight, and says he can come back later. After he's gone William describes him as torturer in chief.

It seems that Phoebe will read the poem, and then Kate comes to the Eulogy: everyone thought it would be nice if one of Jennifer's children did it, Alice and Ruairi didn't feel strong enough, and Adam thought Kate would do it well. She thought Debbie would be better, but Debbie just wants to go with the flow, so it is to be Kate. She's done things like it before, in a pagan setting, and Alan says he's sure there will be similarities, but Kate feels that this is much closer to home and she is really struggling with it. She asks Alan if he will hear her read it out, and tell her honestly what he thinks of it.

Tea to go with his breakfast has now arrived for William, who is not noticeably grateful and point-blank declines to ask Lee about his seated exercise class. He just wants to be left alone. As Ben is about to leave William discovers his tea has no sugar in it and is angry about that too.

Reading out her clichéd words about Jennifer is proving too much for Kate, who breaks down and starts to sob. As she apologises Alan tells her it's all right, gives her a tissue and suggests she might take a break. Kate says she doesn't think there is much point in going on trying: she tried to read it to Jakob last night and did exactly the same thing. Alan offers to help her with it by taking over if she falters, but while she is grateful for the offer she doesn't want to spoil the flow of the service. She really wanted to do this for Mum, but Alan assures her that not being able to doesn't mean she's failed Jennifer or loves her any less; quite the opposite, in fact. She decides she has to be honest and see if someone else could take it on; Alan suggests she could work with them on the wording. Kate comes to the realisation that it doesn't have to be one of the children, but she'd like it to be one of the family. Alan advises her to go easy on herself at this difficult time full of emotions. She tells him it's all shaken her up and made her think about her own life; she tells him about her plans to be more involved in running Home Farm, and to step away from Spiritual Home, in fact to shut it down. Alan suggests not rushing into that: it's generally good advice not to make big decisions soon after a bereavement. Kate however replies that the more she thinks about it, the more she feels it is right: everything has its allotted span, and she thinks the universe is saying this is the end for Spiritual Home.

It's lunch-time at The Laurels, and Ben offers Lee help arranging the chairs for his class. He hasn't managed to drum up support for the session, and he's had a tough morning because it's all so full-on; this is the first time he's stopped. He apologises for messing up Lee's appointment with the impatient patient, and Lee laughs it off: it was no trouble, he saw him later. Ben agrees that Mr Padry was giving him a hard time, and Lee says that he takes a bit of time to warm up, that's all: his bark is worse than his bite. He is one of the people who doesn't appreciate communal living and just misses his independence, and takes it out on the staff sometimes. Ben says ruefully that he didn't make things any easier, and Lee tells him it will get better, a bit better anyway, though the staff have been rushed off their feet the whole time he has been coming to The Laurels; he's sure Ben will get a lot out of his time there, but he's not going to lie: Ben is going to have his work cut out.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 28th February, 2023

Rapprochement at The Laurels and recruitment at Lower Loxley.

Characters: Freddie, Brad, Chelsea, Josh, Ben, Sykesy
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

When Brad arrives at Lower Loxley Hall ready for work, he is greeted effusively by Freddie, and it becomes clear that this is a one-man recruitment drive. Brad is really not interested in becoming a tour guide, but when Chelsea arrives her ears prick up and she insists, in the face of Freddie not being at all enthusiastic about the idea, on volunteering herself in Brad's place.

To the accompaniment of a lot of cackling chickens, Josh is spraying his van ready to do deliveries, and Ben tells him he's already started work properly at The Laurels. He gives Josh the rundown on what the job consists of and what the residents are like, including those who are quiet and glad of what you're doing and those who are not; he gives a brief description of the trouble he had yesterday. Josh says props to him for doing a job Josh definitely couldn't, and Ben explains the worst bit is the phone: everyone has one, and when someone wants a member of staff, they ring all the staff at once and have to be answered immediately in case it's life and death rather than just wanting a cup of tea. All you see is where it is and you don't know what it is until you answer. Josh is concerned that Ben is all right doing all this, but Ben says he'll get used to it, and Josh changes the subject to Ben's twenty-first birthday on the fifteenth of March. Josh wants to push the boat out, but all Ben wants is a quiet celebration at home. He had a big party for his eighteenth and now doesn't want another. Josh insists that he'll get him a drink and a special present anyway.

Chelsea is accusing Freddie of indeterminate prejudice against her, while Freddie tries to explain he just didn't think being a tour guide would be her sort of thing. Every argument he puts up she shoots down, in particular him assuming she wouldn't get on with the older members of the tour groups; she points out she gets on well with Jim Lloyd, and you don't get much more historic than him. She is very enthusiastic about it, and in the end Freddie has to capitulate when she accuses him of thinking she's thick and common and insists that he is to put her name down: she'll do it.

The same awkward patient is waiting for Ben, who catches it again initially but this time stands up to him, explaining what he has been doing and ending by saying that everyone has to start somewhere, with which the resident has to agree, telling him that what he is saying is 'don't be such a grumpy old git'. Ben wouldn't put it exactly like that, but the patient is determined to extend an olive branch: he gave Ben a hard time about the exercise class and he knows Ben didn't mean any harm, but he did hard manual work all his life and now he just wants to sit and watch telly. As Ben is asking what it was that he did, Ben's phone rings and interrupts, but someone else answers first. Ben asks his question, and they then bond over the patient having been a farm worker and knowing that Brookfield was Phil Archer's farm, and Ben knowing his nephew Terry at Paradise Farm in Edgeley, who is in the Hassett Hills collective and who tops up the council funding to pay for The Laurels. He's looked after his uncle Sykesy, which is what he prefers to be called: he can't stand being called 'William', never could. Ben calls him Sykesy, and is about to help him back to bed for an afternoon nap when the phone goes off again, this time with someone incomprehensible at the other end; he is sharply told to get there and not worry about Sykesy, who will kip in his chair if needs be.

Still hanging about outside Lower Loxley Hall, Chelsea has waylaid Josh as he is making an egg delivery, asking him whether he doesn't think she'd be a great tour guide. He has no particular opinion, but if Freddie thinks she'd be OK... Chelsea asserts that Freddie practically begged her to sign up, and Josh says he's sure she could do whatever she sets her mind on. She has started to explain how she will alter the uniform to suit herself, when Brad comes out and says he is really surprised she wants to do that tour guide stuff, and Josh agrees that he doesn't see why she'd want to do an unpaid job. Chelsea had not realised it was unpaid, and first doesn't believe it isn't paid and then doesn't believe anyone would do it for nothing. The other two assure her that the reason Freddie's new job title has 'volunteer' in it is because it is about volunteers. She didn't know that; she thought it would be some kind of promotion. She thinks the tour guides are a sad bunch of losers doing that just for fun but when Josh suggests she'll be telling Freddie she won't be available after all, she tells him 'No way' after she practically threw herself at him to get him to say yes – 'I thought you said he begged you!' objects Josh. He obviously thought she wasn't capable, says Chelsea crossly; well, she's going to prove him wrong.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 1st March, 2023

Susan is hard to shake, Lilian has had an idea and Helen makes a suggestion

Characters: Susan, Tony, Lilian, Lee, Helen
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

St David's Day has been very different this year because Pat has been making food for the funeral buffet instead of decorating the shop, and Susan has been doing the same; it's a terrible time for everyone, but it's nice to have something to focus on, says Susan. Neil has applied to become a guide at Lower Loxley, she adds inconsequentially; Tony says the livestock are a godsend to him, because they always have to be tended no matter how you feel. When John died they pretty-much saved his sanity. We have heard a car driving up; now its door slams, followed by the clack of high heels as Lilian arrives and asks for a word with Tony about the funeral, so Tony tries to get rid of Susan, and eventually manages to do so since she is on an errand for Pat. Lilian tells Tony it's the tribute to Jenny: now Kate has decided she can't do it, they need to work out who will. Tony is clear: Lilian would be the right person, and after a bit of hesitating she agrees to try if the others are OK with it.

On her way from checking on Jack and Henry for Pat, Susan runs into Lee, who has come to collect Helen's sons and take them with him to make tea; Helen has gone to Ludlow for a meeting with a potential customer so he is in charge tonight. Susan takes advantage of having met him to bend his ear about how awful the electric car charging development is; Lee is non-committal. Susan can't see why they have to have it 'slap in the middle of Ambridge' [which Hollowtree isn't. Chris]. She offers to give Lee a copy of the leaflet Jim has done on the subject, but before she can, Tony comes in and starts to talk with Lee abut Ben at The Laurels, and since this isn't about Susan's concerns she asks Lee when his girls leave for America; Tony gently suggests they mustn't keep her from the dairy, where Clarrie will be missing her with Helen away for the afternoon. She reluctantly takes herself off, leaving Tony and Lee to talk about his feelings about the girls being so far away. As Tony is saying comfortingly that no matter how far away they may be they will always be Lee's daughters, no-one can take that away, Helen comes in unexpectedly early after a successful meeting; she didn't go round other shops in Ludlow, but came home to support Tony. Lee tells her that actually, Tony has been supporting him.

A knock on the door interrupts Tony going through some more old photos he's found; Lilian has come to talk about how on earth she is to encapsulate Jenny in a short tribute. She's been trying to make a start on it for hours and is completely stuck: there's so much to say about her! They talk about Jennifer, with reference to several points in her life at which she showed strength and independence, and then Tony asks whether a gin and tonic would help, and Lilian says she's never known a time when a gin and tonic didn't help, so he goes to get one for her and a pint for him, suggesting she could have a look at the photos while he's fetching them.

Not prepared to let Lee escape her, Susan has taken him a leaflet and is now at Greenacre sounding off to him again about the horror of thirty charging points on a two-acre site, plus extra parking; Helen tries to tone it all down and Susan sensing the complete lack of interest from both of them, eventually goes away. Helen then tells Lee about an idea she has had to try to cheer him up: she has been looking at flights to San Francisco, and thinks they should all four of them go over there later in the year, which would give him something to look forward to. Lee protests that they can't afford it, but Helen is sure they could save up over the next few months: would he like to go and see Mabel and Evie in America? When he says, 'Of course, but' she interrupts to tell him it's going to happen, even if she has to cash in an ISA or something. Lee is bowled over, tell her she is amazing, and adds that he loves her so much.

Tony and Lilian are having a laugh over the holiday at Polperro that is shown in the snaps Tony unearthed from the back of a drawer, and remembering Jenny there; Helen comes in looking for a folder she left in the house earlier and wants to know what they were laughing about, and Lilian tells her they've been looking at holiday snaps and it has helped them to work out what to say about Jenny: they have decided to focus on her as their sister, which is their unique perspective, after all, as Lilian says. Helen says that's lovely, Lilian explains she feels much happier now she has a theme to work around, and Helen says she is so pleased; then Lilian adds that she's just had an idea for a tweak to the proceedings: she thinks Jenny would whole-heartedly approve.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 2nd March, 2023

Chelsea says her piece, and Brian saves the day.

Characters: Chelsea, Neil, Susan, Alice, Freddie, Noluthando, Brian
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Before the interviews for the guides' jobs at Lower Loxley Hall Chelsea is seeking suggestions from Neil about her presentation; he does his best for her in spite of her having dismissed the subject of his, and anything he suggests for hers, as 'boring', until they are interrupted by Susan bringing Alice into the kitchen, whereupon they move to the lounge to leave Susan and Alice to talk in peace. Susan wants to give Alice the food she has prepared for the wake at The Bull; she was surprised it is to be there, thinking Brian would have wanted somewhere posher like the Golf Club or Lower Loxley, but Alice reminds her that Jennifer grew up there. Also, people can just walk there from the church. [To which almost everyone could just walk as well; what were all the cars for again? Chris] Susan asks how Alice is getting on, after her wobble last week, and Alice thanks her for her support and says Lisa and Chris have both been wonderful too. The move on to what Susan has made to be a the centrepiece of the funeral baked meats: unfortunately when Susan tries to turn out the avocado and asparagus terrine she has made from a recipe of Jennifer's, as a tribute, it collapses. Alice, seeking for something to say in consolation, suggests perhaps they could put it in bowls and treat it as a dip; Susan says it's a disaster.

In his talk at Lower Loxley Hall Neil is doing well, if being slightly predictable, about the regiment Colonel Edwin Pargetter got up from the county in 1745; Freddie is impressed, but wonders whether they were involved in any fighting, which Neil tells him they weren't because Charles Edward Stuart's army turned back at Derby. Freddie and Noluthando ask him to wait outside while they confer, telling him to help himself to tea or coffee. When he's left, Freddie admits Noluthando and Lily were right about selecting him, and Noluthando says he'll be a safe pair of hands, as will Oliver. As expected, both were better than Fleur [Button. Chris].

Outside the room, Neil is instructing Chelsea about the proposed charging station and why it's a bad plan; the retail park that is going to be there as well will be competition for all the Ambridge shops, and the tea-room too. Chelsea hadn't considered that when she thought there might be some new jobs going. When Noluthando calls Chelsea in, she asks Neil to go in with her, and Noluthando doesn't see any problem with that; Freddie too thinks it's all right. Chelsea has chosen to talk about Gerald Pargetter's wooing, winning and wedding of Julia.

Susan has insisted on going to apologise to Brian in person for her having failed to make the terrine she has been told he likes [Gus and I cannot believe anyone would actually like this! Chris]; Brian makes the right noises about it not being the end of the world, and Susan persists in going on about how important it was and how she has let them down; she offers to go and buy something to replace it, if Brian will tell her what he'd like. Alice tries to reassure her, and says they won't go short of food because so many people are bringing some, which doesn't help Susan's amour propre much; then Brian has an idea for a solution.

The talk by Chelsea has been a great success; Neil congratulates her, and Freddie and Noluthando are impressed. Freddie questions a few of the statements she has made, but she is able to give evidence for them, citing having asked Elizabeth and having seen photographs. Freddie becomes enthusiastic and starts to plan Neil and Chelsea as a double act, saying they can move on to the next stage of the training, but Chelsea puts him right: it's awesome that he liked what she did, but she doesn't want to be a guide. The place is boring, and she isn't going to do all that work for no pay. She just wanted to prove she could do it.

Brian is rooting through what Susan says is a very well-stocked freezer, and finds a big lamb, leek and prune pie; 'eat hot or cold', says the label. He knows it's not the same thing that Susan was cooking, which she tells him is all right as long as there's a centre-piece: that's what's important. When Alice asks who brought him that, he tells her that her mother made it. He would really like it to be part of the buffet, and Alice and Susan concur; Susan accepts Alice's suggestion that she could make her terrine into a dip. Then Alice starts to laugh, and when asked, says it's quite funny when you look at it: who else but Mum could be so organised that she's contributing to her own funeral tea?

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 3rd March, 2023

It's a funeral. Without a single punch-up. Tsk.

Characters: Neil, Alan, Kate, Lilian, Tony, Alice, Brian
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Outside the church Alan and Neil are doing some last minute preparation, and Neil thanks Alan for allowing flowers in the church even though it is Lent; Pam Fletcher has done a lovely arrangement. When Kate approaches Alan asks how Peggy is, and is told she is settled in her usual pew at the front, but is quite frail. Lilian then arrives with Tony and they say hello and that they are worried about Brian, who has clearly been dreading the day. They have changed the plan and are going to do a tribute together. Kate is very grateful they took it on. Lilian hopes that with Tony's help she will be OK, and Alan tells her he can always step in. Kate notices that Lilian is wearing the perfume Jennifer always wore; Lilian says she thought it would keep her close to her sister.

Alice is trying to get Brian's attention to tell him the car is there, but he is not yet ready; could it go and collect Phoebe and Noluthando and Sipho first? They are already in the car and waiting for him. His problem is that he can't decide on a tie; he'd like to wear the brightly coloured one Jennifer got him for Christmas, but feels that it might seem disrespectful and perhaps he ought to wear a black one. Jennifer would know: she'd put him right in an instant. He misses her so much.

When he has been safely delivered at the church Alice brokenly tells Lilian all about how he was in such a weird state and she didn't know what to do, and Lilian comforts her with the usual immortal words 'come here, darling', and points out that they are all here for Brian so it doesn't all have to fall on Alice, who must look after herself too. Alan then comes up and says that he can't see Brian, and Lilian tells him she thinks Brian is round the side of the church by the other door; Alan goes to find him and when he does, tells him the hearse will be there any minute. Brian asks if the tie is all right, and Alan reassures him it doesn't matter: everyone there will be there because they loved Jennifer and love him, they're on his side and know how hard today will be, so any choice he makes to help him through it is the right choice. Brian knows that Jenny would tell him to stop fussing and get on with it, and does so.

After the end of a very strange and rather unpleasant hymn Alan starts the funeral service, and is followed by Tony and Lilian reminiscing in counterpoint about their big sister, during which both Tony and Lilian almost but not quite break down.

Before they go out to commit Jennifer's body to the ground, they sing a final hymn: Jerusalem, because for decades Jennifer was a staunch member of Ambridge Women's Institute and because it is a celebration of the green and pleasant land which she loved so much.

Lilian thanks Neil for the peal or whatever it was ('just a method,' says Neil deprecatingly) and he in turn congratulates her and Tony on their tribute. Tony wondered if Roger, Jennifer's first husband, would turn up; Lilian says he isn't in great health and it's a long way from Fife, but Debbie is going to visit him while she's here. Neil is planning a planter on the green in Jennifer's memory, which Tony thinks is a lovely idea; Lilian fails to react because she is wondering where Ruairi is. She couldn't look at either him or Brian in church because it would have destroyed her.

Brian tells Kate that he is doing better than he had feared; he was really worried about the bit at the grave ('the committal,' she reminds him) because it is just so final, but Alan made it rather beautiful. Kate says it was beautiful, and he repeats that it was, it was; and having all of them around him made him feel really supported, which pleases Kate. He feels that her mother would have approved. Than he wonders if Debbie is OK, not having had a chance to have a proper conversation with her since she came over from Hungary, and Kate says she is dealing with it in her own way. He asks what it is that he hears about her giving up Spiritual Home, which startles her; she wants to know how he knows about that, and he says that he is her father and it is his job to know everything. She admits it is likely, and he says he is surprised; he's watched her today and she has a real talent for the touchy-feely stuff. She says he never used to care about that, and he tells her that when life throws things at you it can make you re-think what's important, so she explains that is what's happened to her and is the reason she is thinking of selling up. He suggests she should think about it carefully; not only is it something she's good at, she has made it into a successful business, which latter she thinks is really lovely of him. Too much emotion leads him to suggest they go and get a piece of the pie before it all goes, and she reminds him that it is lamb, so not for her.

There was a wreath of herbs on the coffin, at Adam's suggestion: rosemary [that's for remembrance. Chris], thyme, sage, all the herbs she used; Alice thinks it was a lovely touch, just right, and Brian agrees you could say that about the whole day. Not what any of them wanted, but it was perfect, they agree. Alice wants to stay at Willow Cottage and make him some tea, but he tells her to get off home, or to the wake if she wants; when she says she thought she might stay the night he tells her that is very thoughtful of her, but this is how things are going to be from now on, and he may as well get used to it. She argues and thinks of more and more things to say, but he finally manages to get rid of her and closes the door behind him. Once safely alone in his own house he tells Jenny that he wore his lovely coloured tie in the end, the one she gave him: she always had impeccable taste. She'd have loved today, with all her family around her, all her friends. He couldn't bear the thought of having to say goodbye, but he doesn't, does he: she's there with him, in his heart, and she always will be.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 5th March, 2023

Ben feels guilty, and Adam is offended. Nothing new, then.

Characters: Bess, Ben, Josh, Ian, Brian, Adam
Credited scriptwriter:
Daniel Thurman
Director:
Julie Beckett
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Bess is keen on heading over to Heydon Wood, and Ben and Josh go along with the idea. They are walking off the food at the wake, and Ben did his first late shift last night. Josh is still determined to make a fuss about Ben's twenty-first birthday; Ben doesn't care about it, especially nothing expensive when he knows how dire the egg business is at the moment; Josh admits he's losing money, what with the price of feed and the avian flu, but is hanging on and hoping for some better economic weather. Josh asks when Ben plans to move back to The Stables, and discovers he isn't ready and would rather stay at Brookfield. If that's the case, Josh reckons he should probably start looking for a new housemate, which leads to Ben realising he has been stiffing Josh for his rent all this time and hadn't realised what he was doing.

At Willow Cottage Brian is sorting Jennifer's possessions when Ian comes in to see him and bring him some beef stew and dumplings for lunch. Some of her things haven't been unpacked from boxes since they left Home Farm, and he can't see any point in hanging on to them. Ian suggests that people usually say wait a year before disposing of things, but Brian is not waiting a year. He doesn't need it. Ian suggests that others might: Adam, Kate... Brian says they are welcome to take whatever they want so long as they do that soon. Adam arrives at this moment, and though Ian would like to have a word with him before he sees the mess, he is too late; Adam walks in, and is momentarily silenced to see his mother's clothes all over the room. Brian says he wants to get it sorted by the Friday collection for the WI bring and buy, and Adam finds his tongue to ask what Brian is actually keeping. Ian tries to get him to come away, but too late: Adam is now full of anger that Brian doesn't recall Jennifer wearing various things he picks up, and in an menacing and unpleasant voice asks whether Brian doesn't think it's a little soon, and when Brian says the sooner it's done the better they will all feel, tells him ominously that is pretty far from how he feels.

Ben is having a melt-down about having been stupid and selfish while Josh tries hard to calm him down. He's caused enough trouble already, says Ben, and goes on to take the blame for the charging station and the feeling against his parents in the village; Josh tries to stop him and to argue against him, saying that their parents can cope and all Josh has to do is find a new housemate and it will all be good. Ben is ominously silent when Josh addresses him.

Speaking in a furious undervoice to Ian, Adam is now refusing to believe that Brian intended to tell anyone before getting rid of the clothing for which Jennifer no longer has any use and nor does Brian; Ian is trying to calm him down when Brian gets back from finding some bags for him to pack with whatever he wants of Jennifer's things. Then Ian finds the hat Jennifer wore to their wedding and Adam is outraged that Brian was happy to throw it out, and though Ian tries to distract him insists that Brian should have talked to 'us' (clearly meaning 'me') before deciding to get rid of Mum's things, which it will be awful for him going through now. Brian point out that he is the one living there, and Ian manages to deflect Adam slightly by saying there's clearly been some miscommunication ('that's one way of putting it' mutters Adam) and suggesting that they take it all off Brian's hands, since Brian has kept the few things he does want, and take it to their place for everyone to go through and choose what they want. Brian is relieved, if they are sure, and Adam says they can take it with them now.

A suggestion to go back to the house is not acceptable to a heavily-breathing Ben, who just wants to stay where he is with Bess. Josh asks about the techniques he has been given by the support worker for times like this, then runs him through the ones he remembers are mean to help ground him (five things he can see, four that he can hear, three that he can touch, and it is very obvious that Bess is the first for each of these) until Ben has calmed down enough to thank him and say he will help him to find a housemate but not try to take full responsibility. They are even able to laugh together.

Carrying heavy boxes of clothes into Honeysuckle Cottage has tired Adam and Ian and they decide to bring in the rest later. [I need to think about this. There was so much it was filling the living-room at Willow Cottage and was going to fill the living-room at Honeysuckle Cottage, and yet it all fitted into one journey in one car. Having just taken about five large-estate-car loads of a dead woman's clothes to a charity shop during the clearance of her house, I find it hard to make these two things fit together. Chris.] Ian apologises for having caused all the mess, though Xander will love climbing on all the boxes; Adam says he will go through every thing as soon as he can but in a more delicate way than Brian was doing. Ian offers to help him. Adam then says it was quite a shock, and Ian is sympathetic, though he can see Brian's point of view and does say so. He says that Brian was not doing it to upset Adam, to which Adam responds that Ian heard him, totally convinced he wasn't doing anything wrong; Ian points out the obvious truth that as far as Brian is concerned, he's not. Adam is concerned that Jennifer would have hated to see her clothes all over the floor like that, and in spite of Ian trying to indicate to him that Brian was just being practical, says it took all his strength not to lose it with Brian; Ian advises him to try not to take it too personally. Everyone takes grief at a different pace, and this is just Brian's way of trying to handle it. The two then start to process their own inability to believe that Jennifer is dead, and talk about the funeral almost cheerfully, until Adam says he misses her and seeing the clothes she will never wear again hurts a lot; he isn't planning to keep it all, he just needs to be the one who throws it away. He then sees something labelled, in Jennifer's handwriting, 'For the children'. [Brian, of course, didn't notice this box when sorting; he just proposed to throw it away. Yeahright. Chris.]

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 6th March, 2023

Honeysuckle Cottage is full of squabbling siblings, while the wrong sibling is foisted on Josh.

Characters: Ben, Lily, Alice, Adam, Kate, Josh
Credited scriptwriter:
Daniel Thurman
Director:
Julie Beckett
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The shop bell rings and Ben and Lily meet in the doorway. She complains that Freddie is driving her mad and has a prolonged grumble about him, to which Ben makes vaguely sympathetic noises before suggesting that perhaps Freddie could move into The Stables, since he has lived there before. Lily thinks it sounds like a great idea, and says she will let him know there is a room available.

Her siblings are convincing Kate that giving Spiritual Home another five years is the right and sensible decision. She's not sure about Brian's motives for being kind to her about the venture, and perhaps he just wants to keep her occupied so she can't interfere at Home Farm, but Alice and Adam are quick to say they are sure that isn't his motivation. Adam says he thinks Brian was just being honest with her when he praised her, since he certainly isn't mincing his words at the moment, and in spite of Brian being so blunt with him he is feeling better now. They agree that it is what Dad's like, but Adam adds that he is clearly not thinking straight; Kate disagrees and says he may be thinking too straight and that's the problem. He just wants to tidy everything away and move on from it all. Adam then produces the box marked 'For the Children', which is full of toys from their childhoods, and baby clothes. It's a bit of a jumble, which is why Adam thought they could go through it together and claim what's theirs. [What about Debbie and Ruairi? Chris]

Lily has turned up at The Stables looking for Josh, and tells him to forget Freddie: she wants to move in. They go inside, where Josh offers her beer, which she accepts, and makes it clear he isn't sure about her idea, though he says he is just weighing it up. She gives him the sob-story about having missed out on being a student because of having been with Russ; Josh explains that it isn't really student living, since Aunty Shula wants the house looking after. She says that they could still have parties and games nights, about which Josh, who works twelve-hour days, is less than enthusiastic. She has the money to pay the rent up front, she boasts: kitchen sales didn't pay too badly when you hit your targets, which she always did. She can move in at the end of the week. He tells her he plans to let out the third room as well, and she thinks that is great: the more the merrier. However, when he says he thinks he should offer Freddie first refusal she is horrified and begs him not to let Freddie move in. Josh wants someone quickly, and she promises to find someone before Freddie even knows there's a room available.

With a certain inevitability, the three Aldridge siblings are arguing about the contents of the box and disagreeing about what was whose.

Ben is collecting the last of his stuff from The Stables, which Josh says wasn't necessary, but Ben also wanted to tell him something to do with the Facebook group opposing the electric charging station. He's been reading the comments, and ... Josh instantly breaks in to tell him not to do that; he is to promise not to go down that rabbit-hole. He has to look after himself and block out all this rubbish. If it would make him feel better, Josh volunteers to join the group and keep an eye on it, to which Ben gratefully agrees. Josh says they had some fun times there [in the period between 18th September when they moved in and 25th September when Ben was told Chelsea was pregnant and become No Fun At All, presumably. Or before 27th September when Ben told Beth and both of them fell apart. Chris] and then asks Ben not to mention the room to Freddie because Lily made him promise not to: she doesn't want Freddie moving in. She is determined to make this a fresh start; what, by moving a couple of miles down the road? Ben scoffs, but he agrees to stay schtum and listens to all Lily's decisions about a film night every week and one day a week shared takeaways, commenting that only Lily could be so prescriptive about fun; when he hears she will be moving in on Sunday he tells Josh to enjoy his last week of freedom.

Adam has provided pizzas made by Ian and the squabbling continues right up until Alice notices a list in Jennifer's handwriting – of exactly what is there and what belonged to which of her children. They agree that Mum was always the best at resolving arguments, and it seems that she still has the knack; Adam says they had better go through the list, then, and Alice says firmly that Mum's word is final, with which the others concur. There's only one problem, she adds: when they've finished, who's going to be the one to keep Mum's list? They all start to laugh.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 7th March, 2023

Elizabeth fails to be suitably upset, while Tony is dutifully enthused.

Characters: Lily, Josh, Elizabeth, Helen, Tony
Credited scriptwriter:
Daniel Thurman
Director:
Julie Beckett
Editor: Jeremy Howe

On the phone to Josh, Lily is arguing for her choice of house-mate, Courtney, with whom Josh does not at all want to share. She's the only person Lily has found, and when Josh asks how about his mate Dom Lily rejects him and they are back to square one. Lily is moving in whatever, and wants to take some measurements; Josh will be back at six, and she proposes to say she is going to The Bull with him and Ben, which surprises Josh. Hasn't she told her mum she's moving out? She admits she hasn't, nor Freddie. She knows she should but she has to break it to them gently. Then Elizabeth comes in wanting help with something and Lily hastily rings off. Elizabeth is not deceived by her very lame explanation that it was nobody, and nothing, and Lily eventually tells her she is planning to move out.

Helen has come seeking Tony, who has just been on the phone to Jim, who is going on about the electric charging station; Helen knows all about it, since she's had it all from Susan. She admits she is concerned about the size and scale, and more traffic in the area, while Tony is worried about the retail units and what might go into them. They have both looked at the relevant websites, and discuss pros and cons for the scheme based on them. Helen however would rather discuss her plans for the dairy; Tony reckons Adam has encouraged them to open up to the public, and thinks they should tell him so and give him a bit of a boost, since he seems to be rather down about sorting Jennifer's clothes.

Lily is producing lots of excuses and sounding very plausible, only to discover that Shula had already told Elizabeth of her plans, having heard them from Josh. Somewhat to Lily's dismay, Elizabeth is fine about it, though she would rather have heard about it from Lily first: she might have been able to help. Lily has been wondering if she would ever move on from Russ, and Noluthando having moved on so soon after her break-up spurred her on to be the same. She finally admits that being with Russ compromised things for her. Of course Lily knows this will always be her home, pledges Elizabeth; Lily further admits she had imagined a future for her and Russ at Lower Loxley, and now she needs a different future. She needs to find something new; Elizabeth really hopes what she has found is what she is looking for. Elizabeth then assumes she has not told Freddie her plans, and when she is reluctant to do so makes her promise to tell him while Elizabeth is away on a course until Friday lunch-time.

The idea Helen has had is an observation window into the dairy and cheese room such as many dairies now have, and restaurants have had into their kitchens for years; it will make the dairy much more accessible and won't impact production, she says, and gets no argument against it from Tony. She has already told Pat and Tom, who seem to love it, though Tom suggested a shelter for the public in case it's raining; Tony enthuses about giving that a rustic corrugated roof with oak beams for a farmyard feel. Helen praises the idea as shabby farmyard agricultural chic, at which both laugh. The family is all on board; and what's more, Lilian has found Helen a builder who can start work as soon as they like because a job he had has fallen through, and reckons he might be able to finish the window in a couple of days. He is coming over tomorrow morning to have a look round. He is keen to get on, and comes highly recommended by Lilian. Tony sounds a note of caution about needing to warn Susan and Clarrie, since the dairy will have to be closed while the work is going on, but Helen isn't worried: she'll see what the timetable is first.

Lily is measuring up and Josh apologises for Elizabeth having been told by Shula: was she OK? Lily reckons she was, and also reckons her chest of drawers ought to fit; now all they have to do is find a third person to complement the household. Josh really feels they ought to ask Freddie: he thinks it could work, but Lily is absolutely set against the idea. Rather than Freddie, she will allow Josh to offer it to Dominic, but Josh informs her it's too late: Dom has found somewhere else. She begs for more time to find someone, and Josh issues an ultimatum: if she can't find anyone by the end of the week, he's asking Freddie. She says that won't be necessary: one thing's for sure, she's not made this decision to have Freddie follow her there.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 8th March, 2023

Sometimes blandishment works, sometimes it doesn't, and sometimes it won't do at all.

Characters: Kate, Noluthando, Freddie, Clarrie, Susan, Helen, Brian
Credited scriptwriter:
Daniel Thurman
Director:
Julie Beckett
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Kate is still havering about Spiritual Home, this time at Noluthando, telling her that she is not sure Brian's praise was sincere; Noluthando is more willing to talk about the flat-share she is trying to organise in RSA with another woman whose relationship has ended. Freddie comes over to make sure their meal was all right, and to ask Noluthando if she is ready to be the guinea-pig for his revamped tour. Kate declines to join them, so they go off together. Freddie explains they have offered roles to Neil and Oliver, and tells her he hopes to follow Noluthando's suggestion and recruit students doing vocational qualifications at Felpersham University. He planned to ask Lily to help with that, but he doesn't know where she is: she has been leaving him alone, which seems to be a relief to him. He leads off on his tour.

At the dairy what is clearly a long-standing discussion abut the charging points is going on; Susan is opposed, Carrie tells her that Eddie and Oliver are all for it, and the argument rumbles on, with Susan being secretive about what Jim plans and telling Clarrie her doubts for what is clearly not the first time and how she feels 'the Bridge Farm lot' are not taking it seriously enough, until Helen arrives and she shuts up. When Helen tells them about the planned observation window they don't react with the complete enthusiasm she expected.

Brian has turned up at Spiritual Home's office and seems reluctant to tell Kate why he is there, saying that he didn't want to bother her; it seems he felt that a treatment might be called for, to help him relax. She asks how he has been sleeping, and whether he has any aches or pains, and when he answers 'badly' and tells her he has a neck-ache brought on by dozing off in his armchair, tells him she has been having deep tissue massages and she recommends them as an alleviation for stress hormones. [Seriously: check with your GP before you have these. They are not always suitable and in some cases can be harmful. Chris.] She definitely thinks they could help him: she'll see if Shona can fit him in today.

Susan and Clarrie are voicing their concerns about their privacy, their dislike of the idea of being watched like zoo animals, and their objections to not having been consulted at all, and Helen only manages to talk Susan into being less hostile to the window by flattery about her having been a public figure because of her broadcasting experience. Clarrie remains opposed to being gawped at through the glass, but Susan comes up with the suggestion of an intercom so they could answer people's questions and becomes quite keen on being in charge of that aspect of things, since Clarrie doesn't in the least want to do it. Helen praises her for the great idea, and asks Clarrie whether that makes her feel more comfortable: 'Not particularly,' replies Clarrie, deadpan.

Freddie's tour involves the fact of the house having been mostly built in 1702 and the coincidental death of William III in that year and accession of Queen Anne [though it's clear to the meanest intellect that these were totally unconnected to ower Loxley Hall. Chris], and then going up to the galleried landing, where they will look at the art collection.

The deep tissue massage was wonderful, according to Brian, who wants to know how much he owes Kate; 'my treat', she tells him. He insists he will pay from now on, which pleases and flatters her since it implies he will be coming back; yes, Shona recommended a course of treatment. Kate wishes he had told her sooner so they could have got it sorted out for him more quickly, and is really touched that he came to her and thought they could help. She tells him that in spite of their chat last week she was still questioning whether she really had a future at Spiritual Home, or it had a future with her. She'd sort of come up with a plan, deciding to stick with the business for five years and see how it goes, which Brian applauds as sounding eminently sensible. He talks up the place as her calling, and she mutters gloomily about having planned on only coasting, but when he exclaims in alarm about the idea that she might still give it up, she says no, not at all: she wants to be more proactive. She wants to take a leaf out of his book, and really make Spiritual Home flourish, which he thinks is an excellent idea.

At the end of the tour Noluthando has a question, or rather more of a comment: she praises the content and his having really kept her interest. He points out that she was on her phone towards the end, and asks anxiously whether everything is all right, and she tells him she was worried about one of the paintings, the huge one on the landing of the ship's officer, which she wanted to do some research on. Freddie asks anxiously if he got some information wrong, and she says no, it's more about what he might have left out.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 9th March, 2023

The painting may possibly be of a slaver, and Adam is ambushed by an old love-letter

Characters: Ian, Susan, Freddie, Noluthando, Adam
Credited scriptwriter:
Daniel Thurman
Director:
Julie Beckett
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Ian has come into the village shop to buy £4.98-worth of last-minute items for catering an office party in Borchester, and Susan asks how he and Adam are doing. When he says he would rather be at home helping Adam sort out Jennifer's clothes, and how difficult that is proving to be even though Kate, Alice and Lilian have each taken a few things and Debbie and Ruairi have put in some requests, Susan tells him how difficult it was clearing out her mother's things, and how her brother Clive 'helped' by helping himself to anything valuable he could find. As Ian is about to leave, she volunteers herself to come over after work and help with the sorting: Ian leaps on the idea.

Freddie has tried to take the painting down, but it is permanently fixed, and Elizabeth has told him to wait until she is back, so in the meantime he has put a sheet over it. Noluthando asks whether that won't just draw more attention to it, but he thinks not, if the area is closed to the public. [Difficult, that, since it was said to be on the staircase up to the area with the main painting collection in it. Chris] He couldn't leave it as it was after what she said. He will get professionals to remove it as soon as possible. Noluthando says she didn't mean to panic him, and that the ship in the picture only might be a slave-ship; they know it's the portrait of an East India Company officer (not a member of the family, Freddie adds firmly) and they know the East India Company was involved in the trafficking of slaves, but all she is saying is that since the picture features a ship in the background and navigational equipment, it could be making reference to ... Freddie cuts her off; the connotations are enough. She claims she just wanted him to be aware, and he says he is grateful to her for pointing it out. She doesn't know what more use she can be, and he explains he just wanted her to see that he is doing something about it. He's heard her concerns, and he's acted – as decisively as he can. She wants to know, then what? What's he going to do with it once it's down? When he says get rid of it before anyone else notices, she points out that they hadn't until now, and he should think about how many people have walked past this painting without questioning those features in it. Including him, she adds.

Having joined the Great Clothes Sorting Event at Honeysuckle Cottage, Susan is telling Adam about Clarrie disliking the observation window. He does sympathise somewhat with Clarrie, though he thinks the intercom idea is great; Susan tells him it has all come from him and his edible forest and he has proven quite the inspiration, for which he thanks her. Breathing deeply with exertion, he says he really appreciates her help, and she is understanding about the daunting nature of his self-imposed duty; now they have a system: to stay, to go, and to be decided. When asked if he has any idea where to send the donations Adam says bitterly that Brian has already decided they are to go to the bring-and-buy in Darrington, and Susan says his mum would approve of it being the W.I. Susan admires the clothes and the accessories, including a silk scarf like the sunset, which Adam decides is to be donated. Then Adam checks the pockets of a smart 1960s coat and finds an old love-letter, which he proceeds to read out to Susan under the impression it is from Brian [who is not entitled to the least privacy. Chris] Except that when he gets to the end of it, he sees the signature is Paddy, not Brian. It's from his father.

Merely getting rid of the painting will not solve the issue, as Noluthando is determinedly pointing out, though Freddie thinks it is better than nothing. She wants him to know that it just brushes things under the carpet, and saves people from having to consider the truth about his history [even though it is not a picture of a Pargetter at all. Chris]. It's a complicated subject, she informs him, and when he asks her for some guidance about what to do tells him she is not the authority and he should speak to his mum and Lily. When he objects that would just be having it decided by a bunch of white people she says she can't speak for the entire black community but she thinks he can get some independent advice. And she doesn't think much of the dust-sheet either, but Freddie says that a little sign under paintings doesn't feel enough to him when he sees it in other places: 'we're sorry it's racist, not our fault'. He really thinks it is best if he has the painting removed. She tells him it is his call, and he explains he is trying to promote Lower Loxley, not embroil the place in controversy. She informs him that since it is an English stately home, she can't imagine its connections to controversy begin and end with one painting. No, she hasn't seen anything specific, but she bets you'd only have to scratch the surface.

Having finally got Xander settled, Ian wants to know what he can help Adam with. Adam hasn't started dinner as he was supposed to, just read and re-read Paddy's letter; perhaps Ian should take it away. Instead, Ian reads bits of it to him; Adam is finding it weird that his mother might have been in love with this man, his birth father, and they've never even met. He wonders whether Jennifer felt the same as Paddy: she kept the letter, he must have meant something to her. But he has never seen her wear that coat. She probably read the letter, rolled her eyes and stuffed it in her pocket. He has no idea what went on between them, and now he never will. Ian assures him that it's fine to wonder, but Adam tries hard to convince himself he has all he needs: Ian, and Xander; why would he care about something like this, something so remote? Ian continues to reassure him: he's just processing stuff, and he has something written by his da... Adam decides it isn't significant, and in spite of Ian's argument puts the letter in the bin. It's all in the past, and he'd rather let it stay there.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 10th March, 2023

The past looms large for several people.

Characters: Lily, Freddie, Susan, Elizabeth, Adam
Credited scriptwriter:
Daniel Thurman
Director:
Julie Beckett
Editor: Jeremy Howe

While Freddie is going through the art collection catalogue Lily insist on telling him she is moving to The Stables, and explains that the reason she didn't want to tell him is that Josh wants to ask if he is interested in the third bedroom there. He's going to call about it today, and she is begging Freddie not to take it, and tells him she needs space – to which Freddie inquires whether Lower Loxley is not big enough for her? He is delighted she is leaving and makes no secret of it: while he is frantic over here, she can switch off at The Stables. She denies that it will be like that, and he says it already is. She immediately starts to snipe at him about his panicking reaction to the business with the painting, then patronisingly tells him they will do something as soon as mum gets back. She then reverts to what he is going to tell Josh, to which he enquires why he would want to move back to The Stables, when he only lived there before because he had to. She is flatteringly delighted. He points out to her that this is his home, and right now his priority is to protect its reputation.

Elizabeth is back, and meets Susan as she comes out of the Farm Shop from stocking up after her absence; she is planning a special meal to mark the occasion of Lily moving to The Stables. Susan commiserates about losing Lily but offers Neil being a tour guide as a consolation, then says there's a lot of hidden talent about: who would have thought Justin would be any good behind the counter of the shop? Adam then comes over and Elizabeth asks how he is before telling him what a beautiful service it was, a real testament to a remarkable woman. She then says she had better be going and sends her love to the family, leaving Adam and Susan together; Adam asks Susan whether she would like to come for some lunch as a thank you for helping yesterday and for being so sensitive about that letter from Paddy. He is feeling a bit thrown; it's all he's been thinking about, really. Susan suggests they talk it through over a coffee and cake.

Having got back to Lower Loxley Elizabeth is being unimpressed by Freddie's solution to the painting, and Lily finds it necessary to say for the record that she wasn't consulted. Freddie is stung into remarking that she was too busy plotting her move to The Stables; she ripostes that he could have asked her, since she will be covering this sort of thing on her course. [Not that at this point she knows any more about it than he does. Chris.] Elizabeth is angry because when he called her she told Freddie what to do (nothing) and he has ignored her instructions. He argues that all she said was to replace the text panel, at which Lily chips in that sounds sensible to her, and Freddie ignores her and goes on to say that is not enough. Elizabeth tells him that's the protocol and there is a template document he should have used while they were assessing the details. Freddie says he has seen it, and a vaguely worded text panel isn't sufficient. Lily asks why the dust-sheet was even necessary when he had closed the space to the public, and tells him he has totally over-reacted. He says he took action, and she tells him it was knee-jerk action. He then tells her that they need to go back and look at the entire art collection, at which point Elizabeth tells him they have already conducted an audit; he feels that the current problem shows that it clearly wasn't thorough enough. Elizabeth tells him that a lot of work was carried out, and he points out that Noluthando spotted the problem after a simple internet search. Elizabeth's solution is to draft a new text panel, brief the guides as soon as it's in place, and re-open the area. Freddie is outraged: he really thinks they should take it down. Elizabeth tells him that you can't just erase the past, and he responds that they have a duty of care towards their visitors; she comes straight back with the statement that they also have a duty of care towards history.

Susan and Adam are discussing the letter, and the fact that Adam took it out of the bin. He has been thinking about not knowing either of his fathers before Brian, though Roger a bit more than Paddy, and all his life he's been fine with that because he had Brian. Susan suggests Brian is more his father than either of them, to which Adam agrees but says it's strange to think he has three father-figures and only knows one of them; not a good strike rate. He hasn't told Brian about it because he feels he is disloyal, a bit to Brian but mostly to Mum. There are a lot of things he didn't ask, and Susan points out that you can't ask everything! He agrees he can't ask Mum, but what about Paddy? What would he ask him, if he could?

Having fallen back on telling Freddie that lots of places have similar policies, Elizabeth is unappreciative of him suggesting that maybe they are wrong, and tells him that this is what they decided. He is scathing: 'what, to retain and explain?' Lily says it's surely better than his preference and then makes a wise-guy comment about 'stash or trash', causing him to say that he happens to take this seriously. Elizabeth claims that she does too, and he ends up fighting his corner about it being taken down, against both his sister and his mother telling him in relays that he is wrong. He is more concerned about causing distress than educating their visitors; Elizabeth denies they will be causing distress. He says he doesn't want to offend people; she tells him none of them do. Lily then puts in her oar and, with Elizabeth's encouragement in the face of Freddie not wanting to hear her, suggests that with the right text panel a blank space could be quite powerful. Then they could auction the painting and make a donation to an appropriate charity from the proceeds. [NB: not donate the proceeds; donate from them. Chris] Freddie admits it's not a bad idea, and she thanks him ever so sweetly. He could probably go along with it. Elizabeth objects that they can't just sell a painting: they are answerable to the Trustees. Freddie would have to make his case and wait for them to make a decision; he says he will do that. She says she can't stop him, but in the meantime they will do as she says.

Adam is now talking about tracking Paddy down, this not being the first time he has thought of it. He talked himself out of it before, at about the time they found out about Brian's affair with Siobhán, and he squashed the idea: Mum had enough to cope with. Susan goes on being sympathetic. Now his mother is dead, Adam muses, that's one less person to be hurt; when Susan asks what about Brian, Adam says he is sure he'd understand. Anyway, Brian is doing what he feels is right for himself; maybe this is something Adam needs to do. Susan thinks it's natural to want to know who you are, then equivocates like anything rather than commit herself to any actual advice. Adam doesn't know where he would even start: all he has is Paddy's name. He's realised this is something he can't move past, not really: there are things he wants to know. When Susan asks what if the outcome isn't what he wants, he says that at least he'll have tried. It's like something has been triggered in him, there's only one man who can answer his questions, and he is going to find his father.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 12th March, 2023

Plus ça change for Clarrie, and all change for Brian.

Characters: Clarrie, Eddie, Brian, Alice, Susan, Joy
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Marina Caldarone
Editor: Jeremy Howe

As usual, Eddie has not found time to do an essential household repair and Clarrie is having to deal with the consequences, in this case the flooding of the bathroom cabinet caused by a leaking tap. [How? If a tap needs a washer replaced, it just drips maddeningly into the basin. Chris] Eddie is busy shaving because he thinks it makes him look younger, and is then going to be far too busy with all sorts of other things which will take him out of the house: he'll get round to it. And how about the trenches to plant potatoes? He'll do those too. When she asks him when, he suggests she ought to be in church. When she mentions her unhappiness about the observation window his reaction is to say, 'here we go,' in a dismissive way, and he declines to fix the leak before he comes down, on the specious pretext that it is his birthday next week. Clarrie goes away in understandable exasperation.

Brian has worked out that his children are trying to keep him busy, though he doesn't really mind; today it is Alice taking him for a walk to get some fresh air, and Adam has invited him to the Cheltenham Festival on Tuesday. Alice asks whether he thinks Adam is OK, and he replies as much as any of them are. She asks if Brian is sleeping OK, and he says yes; when Alice says that Kate told her he had a massage he says she had no business to, which Alice pooh-poohs. They post the 'thank you' letters Brian has had to write [presumably replying to letters of condolence, which is not a thing. Chris.] Then Alice suddenly takes off after someone she has just seen, with Brian calling after her.

It was Joy, and when Alice catches up with her she can't think of anything to say.

The bee in Jim's bonnet about the charging station and his determination not to let it happen without a fight has caused Susan to ring Clarrie and talk about it at her yet again, and Clarrie is clearly not interested, though she thinks she might follow Jim's example and have a word with Helen about the wretched observation window. Susan was under the impression she had acquiesced about that and isn't pleased to learn she hadn't, and tells Clarrie she is over-thinking it, which causes Clarrie to say she hasn't got time for either the window or Susan and Jim's shenanigans, not today. She's up to her eyeballs with chores, not to mention all the stuff she has to remind Eddie to do before tomorrow. Susan has the grace to say she is sorry that Clarrie is feeling under the cosh [sic. Chris] and get off the line, but feels obliged to excuse doing so by saying she has left her phone-charger at the shop and has to go and fetch it before someone nabs it.

Because Alice is too embarrassed to do so, Brian has gone to explain to Joy; Joy is grateful to him for coming to talk to her, because she thought she had done something wrong. He explains that she is wearing a scarf just like one of Jennifer's, and for a moment Alice thought she had seen her mother. [Brian and Alice were posting letters in the pillar-box outside the post-office and shop, Joy was on her way to open the shop, and Alice saw her and ran up behind her. This was all stated on air, and makes nonsense of what happened. Chris.] Joy is very sympathetic, and also feels terrible because she thinks it might actually be Jennifer's scarf: she bought it with several other things at the W.I. bring-and-buy last week in Hollerton. [Not in Darrington, to which the donation was to be made. Chris] Brian tells her that it did indeed belong to Jennifer, but reassures her that it is good to see it being enjoyed by someone else, and Jenny would be so pleased. Alice is, it just took her by surprise. He assures Joy that it couldn't have gone to a better person and it suits her. Susan arrives at that point looking for her phone charger and Brian makes his escape; Joy tells Susan all about it, and Susan recognises the scarf she had previously admired, and which she dropped off at the bring and buy for Brian. [Not for Adam, who had taken charge of Jennifer's clothes? Chris] Joy is still feeling bad for Alice, though Susan says they gave it away and must have known someone else would wear it; Joy sensibly points out that sometimes it's only when you see someone else wearing something that you realise you didn't really want to give it away.

Eddie is now saying he'll do 'it' (unspecified) when he gets back from delivering the hay-bales, and has done the sheep with Edward. Clarrie wants to know about the trenches for the taters, which need to be in the ground by the end of the month, and mentions that she can't get much done in the garden until he has dug it. Eddie says he has remembered he now has to do yet another chore for someone other than his wife, and might be back later than he expected, then distracts Clarrie by asking whether Susan said anything bout the window, getting the result he wanted: Clarrie says that apparently she's over-thinking things, and this gives him the opportunity to leave, with Clarrie asking him as he scarpers at least to put the mug in the sink! She asks if he has fixed the leak and he says he can't be late; he told her, it needs the right new washer. Then he leaves as she tries to make sure he will at least remember to get a washer while he is out.

Alice has let herself in to Willow Cottage, and claims not to have meant to startle Brian [in which case maybe she ought to knock, or ring the bell, before walking in? Chris]. She needed to sit down where she and Mum used to sit. She's in a bit of a state and Brian calms her down, offering a cup of tea and telling her she is not pathetic. He tells her that every day is a step forward in this new existence without Jenny, and for what it's worth, Joy really didn't think badly of her, and once she knew the scarf had been her mother's totally understood how she might be feeling. She even offered not to wear it. He is clear: all the things he sent away, the things that used to be Jenny's, are all just things, objects; they were hers, but much as it hurts to say it out loud, they're not hers any more. He knows they all think he was too hasty in passing on her things, he knows Adam felt that way; Alice is clear that they all had the chance to keep anything they wanted, and perhaps if she had the choice again she'd keep all of it. Brian tells her that he spent all those years with Jenny and he doesn't feel an attachment to these things; he starts to tell her his version of how he bought the scarf and she tells him the version of the story that Jennifer told her; he tells her that he has the memory of doing something nice in the sunshine, and Alice has the memory of Jennifer sharing the story with her, and that's what's precious, so much more than the scarf. It's the memories that count. None of the stuff. Alice percipiently remarks that it can't be easy for him being there all the time with it all around him, and he agrees, telling her that is why he's decided to move out. The tenancy agreement is up and he has decided not to renew it. He's leaving Willow Cottage.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 13th March, 2023

Paul regrets having to leave Ambridge, and Clarrie simply resents change.

Characters: Alistair, Paul, Josh, Clarrie, Susan, Helen
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Marina Caldarone
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Lambing is in full swing, and Alistair and Paul have been called in to help a ewe who has been in trouble for a while. Josh appears to be the only Archer present, and he and Paul do a bit of chatting as they work, Josh cleaning and warming the lamb and Paul doing blood tests. Paul says it's his first lamb at Brookfield, and as he gets ready to pack the van Josh notices his long face, and is told Paul's placement is coming to an end on Friday. Josh can hardly believe it: already? Paul will miss working on the farms, and doesn't suppose there will be much farming in his next placement from Lovell James; Alistair points out he is a recently qualified vet nurse and needs to get varied experience, then goes off to find David. After he's gone Paul lyricises about being close to the land, and the gorgeous horses in Ambridge; it's a bit sad, but he'll miss being there.

Clarrie is griping about Eddie having been too busy helping Ned to help her, and Susan is every sort of sympathetic, though not sympathetic enough to stop her from telling Clarrie that Eddie spent yesterday afternoon, when he said he'd been helping Ned, out for a drink with Neil; Eddie called him up and invited him for a pint. Just as Clarrie is about to explode, Helen arrives to tell them the window is going to be done tomorrow: it should be finished by Thursday. Clarrie hates the whole idea, not to mention doing a full day's work before packing everything up and covering all the equipment. She says it will be overtime for them no matter how Helen looks at it, and grumbles about having to tell Eddie she will be late; Susan explains to Helen that Clarrie is under pressure at home, and Clarrie explains yet again that she does not like the idea of the window. It's clear she has not warmed to the idea of someone looking over her shoulder all day, and all Helen's and Susan's blandishments don't appear to change her view of the matter.

Josh has brought coffee to Paul, who is glad he will be getting a good reference, and Josh tells him he's obviously good at his job. Paul says again that he loves the farm stuff, then changes the subject to Josh's problems finding someone to be the last person in the house-share; he approves of Lily and commiserates about Ben not moving back, though he can understand Ben wanting to be where he is helping with the B&B. Paul encountered him earlier with someone looking around, whom Josh explains as one of the guests whose son is interested in farming. Paul starts trying to talk himself into wanting to leave and get new experiences, but reverts to how he has really enjoyed being in Ambridge and isn't sure he wants to go back to city life; opportunistic Josh promptly offers him the last room at The Stables. Paul initially thinks if he were staying in Ambridge it would be perfect, but he has no idea where Lovell James will send him next, and his only means of transport is his bicycle. He'd better go and find Alistair.

As he drives Paul back to the surgery Alistair tells him that he'll be an asset wherever he goes, and if it were not that they want Denise back because she is so much a part of the practice, he and Jakob would be trying hard to keep him on if he wanted. Paul is touched and says it's good of him to say that. Alistair goes on to say that on Friday, he and Jakob were thinking of taking Paul out for a meal at a restaurant of his choice. Paul is delighted at the idea of a leaving do, and Alistair says that they'd like to give him a decent send-off; it looks as if they'll be able to get off early, because the last appointment is just past three. Paul then says that he's had such a good time, and has learned so much from them, he'd like to arrange Friday's do: a send off from them and a thank-you from him. Alistair laughs and agrees.

The still-disgruntled Clarrie points out that when Helen mentioned all hands to the pump she meant theirs, since she hasn't yet shown up. Susan persists in trying to cheer her up and Clarrie persists in her ill-humour, and Helen then breezes in and suggests that Clarrie can go home at her usual time if she wants, but Clarrie is determined to be miserable and says she has told Eddie now, and anyway she isn't sure she wants to go home. Susan blames herself for having told her about Neil and Eddie, which Helen jumps on asking what about them, and Susan is about to tell her when Clarrie chimes in and explains for herself that Eddie doesn't seem to care what needs doing at home at the minute; he doesn't care two hoots about her, and now he's lying to her. Helen says 'Oh, dear,' and Clarrie further explains that whenever he starts slipping up on home jobs she knows he's up to something and he'll get himself in trouble. Despairingly, she says she's got Eddie on one side and this window on the other, whereupon Helen, to cheer her up, says they are having new uniforms and logos, bright new whites and logos that pop. Susan is greatly excited; Clarrie is not. Helen, still unremittingly cheerful, points out that they'll get two days off, and because it's such short notice they'll be paid for them; Clarrie utters a somewhat disgruntled 'Coo' and Susan wonders what she and Clarrie are going to do with themselves.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 14th March, 2023

In which a good time is had by all.

Characters: Brian, Adam, Susan, Clarrie
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Marina Caldarone
Editor: Jeremy Howe

At Cheltenham racetrack Brian and Adam are enjoying themselves and chatting quite amicably about all sorts of things; Adam says he was up late doing research on the internet, and when Brian asks if that was to do with his Edible Forest Garden says it was something else but then rather than saying more about what it was talks about his enjoyment of the positive attitude at Bridge Farm, and though Brian asks 'Unlike us, you mean?' it's clear he has taken Adam's pleasure in his new employment well. He thanks Adam for inviting him along and pretty-much apologises for having upset him last week, saying he's sure Adam would have had more fun with Ian or with his sisters while Brian looked after Xander.

That Clarrie is trying to fix the leak herself means Eddie has left it for another day, but Susan is opposed to her doing it: Clarrie tells her that she doesn't want to get Oliver involved, and Eddie is going to be late back, but Susan has plans for the day off that Eddie doesn't know they have. There is a craft fair at Westbury, and it turns out Clarrie went there once, years ago, and enjoyed it greatly. As further inducement Susan tells her a local knitting group is knitting a scarf to wrap around the entire church, and anyone can join in. Clarrie argues that she can't leave all this, and if she isn't there Eddie won't get on with any of the other jobs he ought to be doing. Susan tells her to leave a list, and after a little more argument she agrees to go.

The race before Adam and Brian are going to have lunch is exhilarating, and Brian has won something on it; he has also been approached by Lavinia, who clearly didn't know what to say so he doesn't know why she bothered instead of waving from a distance and avoiding him the way most people do. Adam is a bit shocked and asks if that is a common reaction, and Brian tells him that yes, it is. He hopes Adam never has to experience it: when your other half has died, so many people would rather walk on hot coals than have a conversation with you! Not close friends, of course, he adds hastily, but the rest: he doesn't blame them, he'd probably do the same except Jennifer would make him go over and speak to them. Adam says that Alice tells him Brian plans to move, and Brian expects to be asked if that's really a good idea, but Adam feels it's Brian's business where he lives, though Alice wasn't so sure. Brian tells him that he is looking into a few options but they are not to worry: he'll be fine. Then he tells Adam he is a good son, and he's sorry he's never been the father Adam needed but he is proud of him, and Adam reciprocates by telling Brian that when he thinks of his dad that's Brian. He is clearly about to tell Brian about looking for Paddy, but Brian keeps on talking, saying that no matter how inadequate he has been he's always loved Adam. Adam instantly disputes that he has been inadequate, saying that they have never been the conventional father-son duo but they've muddled along. Brian then tells Adam to come on because it's The Arkle next.

Susan and Clarrie are having a wonderful time, and Clarrie is looking at wool with which to make a Kermit the Frog when she gets a text from Eddie asking whether she prefers sage green or crisp white, which leads to her thinking he's gone off his rocker. She doesn't bother to reply. Susan then gets a message from Neil saying he might be a bit late getting home, but she doesn't think it likely Eddie has roped him into anything. As they go off to have home-made pie for lunch before their turn knitting for the scarf Clarrie shows Susan the massage-bead seat-cover she has got for Eddie's van because he has complained of trouble with his back, and she has a leaflet for a festival in Faircastle tomorrow afternoon. Clarrie is glad Susan made her come out; she's having such a good time! And what's more, says Susan, they're getting paid.

It is now the Champion Hurdle and Adam and Brian wish each other luck with their bets: may the best horse win! Brian says if his comes anywhere it is drinks on him tonight, and Adam says he'll see if Ian can meet them at The Bull with Xander. And if he doesn't win the drinks will still be on him, Brian adds. Adam chooses this moment to tell Brian he has found Paddy's letter while he was sorting through Mum's things, and has decided to try and find him and connect with him, if he can. Brian manages to say 'right', and then the race starts and he can shout about that a bit rather than answer any further.

When they get back to Grange Farm the to-do list is still sitting on the table and Clarrie blames herself for being stupid enough to think she might enjoy a day out and His Lordship might actually pull his finger out and do what she asks. Susan tries to cheer her up, but she says she was going to bake his birthday cake this evening but now she isn't going to bother. As soon as Susan finishes in the post office tomorrow they are going to do it again: what time does that festival start in Faircastle?

Three hundred smackers is not bad at all in Brian's estimation, and when Adam congratulates him on always having luck with the horses he argues that it's not luck, he has a nose for it. Adam says he remembers Brian saying that the first time he and Mum brought Adam to Cheltenham, and that he has still never really won anything. Brian asks if he has got hold of Ian, but Adam wants to apologise if he has upset Brian and explain that Paddy is nothing to do with his thinking of Brian as Dad, it just feels like something he has to do. Brian is very understanding and says he was just taken by surprise: he was a bit taken aback that Jenny had kept the letter. Adam can see that, but says it was in the pocket of an old coat and didn't have a pink ribbon round it, and Brian says he's glad Adam felt able to tell him about it and asks if he's found anything. Adam says no, but it's early days and he'll let Brian know if he does. Brian is clear that it makes sense: anyone would want to find out where they came from, who they came from and it's not as if their family wasn't complicated. Adam was worried that the timing might be bad for Brian, but Brian is firm that he understands and whatever happens he will be there. Adam thanks him, and nearly calls him 'Dad', settling at the last moment for 'Brian' instead. Brian tells him not to worry: they don't have to turn into the Waltons to prove anything

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 15th March, 2023

Clarrie is surprised, the listener is not, and history is comprehensively rewritten.

Characters: Eddie, Neil, Susan, Clarrie, Sykesy, Ben, Jill
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Marina Caldarone
Editor: Jeremy Howe

A conspiracy between Eddie and Neil continues, with each thanking the other and saying he couldn't have done what he has without the other helping, until Eddie says they have a lot to do before Clarrie gets home from work and Neil tells him that Clarrie can't be at work: when he was at Bridge Farm to borrow a truck, he saw that the dairy was closed, and neither she not Susan was working in the shop. The two men puzzle over this, with Neil wondering why Susan didn't tell him the dairy was closed. Eddie, aghast, asks where their wives are, and Neil tries to call Susan and ask her.

At the festival Susan decides to ignore Neil's call and let the phone ring out. Clarrie is worried in case he has worked out they are bunking off work again; Susan points out that they are doing no such thing, they are bunking off home, and anyway how would Neil know where they are going? What happened to the trouper who was waxing lyrical about not being taken for granted yesterday? Clarrie is feeling bad about leaving Eddie with a shop-bought cake; Susan says he's lucky to have a cake at all. Clarrie feels she should have stayed home and figured out what Eddie is up to, though he didn't come home with a bunch of flowers like Susan predicted, and Susan admits that Neil didn't say much either. Clarrie abruptly decides that she doesn't have time for them: let's see what's what here and just forget about them. Just as she and Susan are about to go in to the main tent she cries out in alarm: she has seen Derek, Ned's son. Typical, snarls Clarrie: the one time she decides to go awol, Eddie's dodgy friend's son's here. Susan is determined to go on in, and bets he won't even notice them.

Sykesy asks Ben whether he fancies himself as a bit of a Florence Nightingale, and Ben asks whether he wants him to stay or not. He is interested in Sykesy having told him the other day that he knew Brookfield when he was a kid, and Sykesy informs Ben that his family farm had a prisoner of war camp on it back during the War, which astonishes Ben [and is the most egregious reinvention of history yet: Phil worked at Brookfield throughout the war, and never once mentioned this. Nor did anyone else in the programme. Chris]. It was fourteen acres, called Quartershot POW camp, and some of the POWs were working on the farm for Ben's great-grandparents. It had been commandeered so Dan Archer had no choice, and was the talk of the town for a few weeks when an Italian prisoner of war escaped. Sykesy's big brother used to knock about with the evacuees who helped the Italian escape. Ben's phone rings and he puts it onto silent, but that's all Sykesy remembers about the Great Escape, so he tries to get Sykesy to go with him for tea and cake in the dining hall, saying that it's his birthday and Sykesy has to share a bit of cake with him. His brother and cousin want him to go out with them later, but he doesn't much want to. Sykesy is finally persuaded to go down for one slice of cake and one cup of tea, after which he doesn't want to see Ben until he is being told tomorrow about what they got up to.

Slabs were put down yesterday with Oliver's help, and Eddie is sure he and Neil will be done in no time. Eddie then gets a message from Ned which includes a picture of Clarrie, dancing in a tent at the Faircastle Fiddler Fest; Eddie can't think how come she's there at all, and Neil has no idea but thinks it looks as if she's having a good time. Eddie decides it's just an old picture and Ned is winding him up; they need to get the wood off the truck.

The cherry bakewell won't kill you, according to Sykesy, and he accepts a cup of tea just as Jill comes over and asks if there is any for her. She has brought Ben a birthday cake to share with his 'friends', and recognises Sykesy by that name. He is unsurprised, since he has worked farms round these parts all his life, and she remembers that he worked at Brookfield sometimes [though never during The Archers radio programme, before which Jill was not there either. Chris]. She decides to wait to have her tea until Christine comes down, and when Ben asks her about the POW camp at Brookfield corroborates all the story Sykesy has told about it, though it was before her time, of course. They did catch the escaped Italian in the end, she tells them, before going on to say she has some candles somewhere and Ben has to cut his cake, thus very much embarrassing her grandson.

When Clarrie gets home she is unexpectedly greeted by an oily Eddie, who tells her he has mended the leak upstairs and proposes to dig the trenches for the potatoes tomorrow, before asking her all about her day at work in so much detail that she immediately realises that he knows she wasn't in work. He wants to know since when she has liked fiddle music, and when she says it was lovely and really got them all going he speaks of having photographic evidence from Ned. Why didn't she tell him? Because he lied to her. He is most indignant and asks when he lied; she tells him when he spent the afternoon drinking with Neil after telling her he was helping Ned, to which he has no easy reply. She tells him exactly what he has been doing wrong, ignoring her and then lying about where he has been, so yes, she went to do something for her, and she doesn't care what he what he says. What he has actually said is 'good'; which he expands on, saying it's about time she had some fun instead of doing nothing but work for all of them. And the last couple of days he fell behind with his jobs because he was doing something else, and he'll show her what it was.

The excuse Susan gives for not having told Neil what was going on was that she got carried away seeing Clarrie suffering. But a site that Neil has shown her is perfect; he says he knew she thought it was time for an upgrade from the pergola, so he is going to build her a summer house there. She says the pergola couldn't have gone to a better home.

Meanwhile, Eddie is showing Clarrie the sage green pergola for her to put a chair in and put her feet up; he explains he got it from Neil and the two of them sorted it out. She says she was sure he was up to something and he replies that he was, in a way; when she wants to know why he did it for her when it's his birthday not hers, he tells her it's because she is always working away to make everyone else's day special: who's to say he can't treat his wife to something special on his birthday? She says, 'Happy birthday, Eddie,' and he thanks her. but tells her she is his best birthday present and kisses her.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 16th March, 2023

Nobody cares about the window, and Brian doesn't care for well-meaning interference.

Characters: Adam, Alice, Susan, Neil, Jakob
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Marina Caldarone
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Adam and Alice are discussing Brian: whether he is serious about moving out of Willow Cottage, and where he is going to go. Alice says that Mum did everything for him and she doubts he is going to start learning to take care for himself overnight, with which Adam agrees, and she speculates that maybe he is hoping one of them will ask him to come and stay. They decide that since it can't be Kate, or Debbie, or Ruairi, it is up to them to arrange his future, since he is never going to leave Home Farm, is he. Could either of them fit him in, with all his stuff? It won't be forever, just until he finds his feet. Alice points out that since Brian likes to have a drink in the evening she can't really do it, so Adam says he will ask Ian. Alice needs to catch Jakob before he goes out on his rounds, so they part.

At Ambridge View Susan is rejoicing in the beautiful sunny morning, and Neil is eating salmon and eggs. He's pleased she is happy about the summer-house. She tells him Clarrie called her about how lovely the pergola is, and Susan feels it couldn't have gone to a better home; she bets that was Neil's idea, but he says no, it was all Eddie. She asks about Lower Loxley and Neil says they will let him know when they want him. Susan then shows him the new uniform Helen has got for the dairy workers, which she thinks is rather too tight; Neil likes it, and also says she used to complain the old ones made her feel like she was wearing men's overalls. Clarrie isn't happy about it either, but Helen just said she didn't want them to look as if they were drowning in their white coats. Susan is afraid this window is going to give her and Clarrie more than they bargained for.

Examination of the horse and a description of its symptoms has led to Jakob taking some 'bloods' to send away, and he and Alice discuss Alice having insisted that Adam must take Brian; Jakob has read something about a child benefiting from having a grandparent as part of its household, which catches Alice's attention when he tells her it's been studied in various cultures across the world and, where a parent may be busy and miss something, a grandparent is another set of eyes and ears looking out for the young person. Alice had not thought about it like that. She then asks about Paul, and hears Jakob's reservations about Friday's leaving do: he is worried Paul is going to expect Jakob and Alistair to perform an Abba number with him, in full bling. Alice says he sounds like the life and soul, and Jakob responds gloomily that is exactly what's worrying him.

Susan has put on the new uniform, and Neil does like it, though he thinks the cartoon calf logo is a deer. When Susan asks if he thinks it looks OK, he says that with a lovely figure like hers of course it does. He has to go.

After her conversation with Jakob, Alice now rings Adam to say that she wants Dad to be with her and Martha. Adam is suspicious of the sudden change of heart, so she claims to have been doing some ree-search and quotes Jakob's earlier summary of the benefits for children of resident grandparents [see the Grundys, also Josh, Ben and Pip; oh, hang on a minute... Chris]; when she says she thinks it would be good for Martha, Adam instantly retorts that it would be equally good for Xander, and they could make the downstairs office nice for Brian. Alice thought Adam would be relieved, but suggests that they will speak to Brian and see who he wants to live with. If Adam comes to hers after work, she'll call Dad over and they can put it to him.

Neil gets back to Ambridge view hungry for his supper, and asks how work was: it seems Susan and Clarrie had hard work cleaning and sterilising everything and putting it back again, though others did help them a bit. He then asks how the window went, it turns out that nobody looked through it at all apart from Fallon and Emma waving to them. Neil notices that Susan has the petition clipboard with her, and she reminds him that he has not yet signed it; as he asks where she wants him to sign, she asks him whether he knows if that Fred from Stoners Farm who used to do magic tricks for kids' parties still has his top hat. Neil is rather disconcerted and asks why she wants one; apparently it is Jim who wants one. Neil asks if Susan really wants to get involved but she is absolute that she does: they have to get objections in early or they will all be railroaded into having the charging station whether they want it or not; Neil protests that when Jim is onto something he's like a dog with a bone, and Susan replies, 'As am I.' She says they want to preserve their village, not see it turn into a roadside service-station on the way to somewhere else.

Adam has turned up late, having been waylaid at Bridge Farm, but it doesn't matter, because Brian is not coming; when Alice rang him to say she or Adam would have him until he found his feet he laughed at her and said he knows exactly where his feet are. He doesn't want to live with either of them, and Alice is afraid he thought they were being really condescending. Apparently he's seeing somewhere tomorrow, and if it's a goer he'll let them know. When Adam asks whether he said where it is, Alice says no: Adam's guess is as good as hers.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 17th March, 2023

Brian is moving on but Paul is staying put.

Characters: Paul, Jakob, Alistair, Usha, Brian
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Marina Caldarone
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Paul's chosen leaving do is an escape room, with clues to look for which Jakob is good at solving. Alistair getting a message on his phone irritates Paul, who says that they agreed to no calls until they get out; Alistair doesn't answer it.

Outside Blossom Hill Cottage, Usha runs to greet with Brian and hopes he wasn't waiting long; she had trouble finding the spare keys. She had someone in to cut the grass and tidy the garden, so she was searching for them manically [no, I don't see why someone mowing the grass would need the keys, but that was what she said. Chris]. She tells Brian how sorry she was about Jennifer's death, and what a good funeral it was. Brian says that Alan did a splendid job, and Brian couldn't have got through it without him. Usha understands about him leaving Willow Cottage, and invites him in to have a look around.

There is another room and a different lot of visual clues to work out, including a mirrored wall. Paul's phone buzzes, which irritates Jakob; Paul says his mother must have forgotten where they were going to be, and Jakob tells him crossly to put his phone on airline mode, as Jakob has done. As Jakob works out the clues, Paul reminds them that time is ticking.

Blossom Hill Cottage is unfurnished, which suits Brian because they have plenty of things in storage [still in that barn, or have they been moved to somewhere dry and free of rodents? Chris] though he suspects he won't need much more than they have at the cottage. Usha assures him it has been redecorated more than once since Helen was there, but Brian is not concerned about that: it hadn't even crossed his mind. More to the point as far as he is concerned is that it was in Blossom Hill Cottage, when Peggy was living in it, that he realised he had to have Jenny in his life. It was Boxing Day, 1975, he spent the evening with the family, and it just felt so right. Usha is enchanted to think that he knew then. The proposal took him ages: nearly a week! New Year's Day 1976. Usha exclaims in delight that he really did know. They were married a couple of months later [or to put it a little differently, on the 29th of May, 1976. Chris]. He tells Usha that Jenny knew as well, then reconsiders and says maybe that's just what he chooses to think. Usha is sure that's not so, but Brian says that's what we do, isn't it: edit our memories as we go along. Usha assures him, as someone who had to battle for her man, that the timing speaks for itself; Jennifer knew. She wants to be sure Brian will be happy, since it is further out than Willow Cottage [all of a hundred and fifty yards further. Chris], but Brian regards that as a selling point: the kids all want to check in on him constantly. Usha asserts that is only because they care, but Brian feels there is a fine line between caring for someone and feeling burdened. Usha asks how they are doing and Brian says coping, each in their own way: Ruairi is hiding in London, Debbie is leaving for Hungary soon, Adam is working on his latest project, and Kate of course has decided to completely reinvent herself, which they are hoping won't last much longer. Alice probably has the biggest burden. Usha points out that they are all strong and will get through it; as Brian says, it's just whatever one can do to cope, and hopefully time takes care of the rest. Brian tells her about being summoned to Alice's yesterday to choose which of her or Adam he wanted to live with; he felt like she was the parent and he was her child, and he wasn't having it. He knows they mean well but he can't help thinking that they all expect he won't be able to iron his own clothes or cook himself a meal, but he'll not sit about in anyone's living room being a useless burden. Usha says there is plenty of fire in him yet, and he thanks her but would like her just to explain that to his children.

A phone starts to ring as the intrepid trio solve the last room, the highest level, and Jakob wants to know if there is a prize. Paul disillusions him; no, they didn't do well enough to get a prize, which in any case would only be a team photo on a board. He didn't have Jakob down as a prize kind of guy, but Jakob says he was waiting for someone to run up with a trophy or something. Alistair is behind him and back on the phone, which reminds Paul he must ring his mum: he'll be outside when they're ready. Alistair comes back to Jakob and when Jakob says drinks and dinner for the soon to be departed are on them, Alistair says he was just speaking to Doug at head office, and it turns out Paul's not actually leaving. They are sending Denise to a practice in the East Midlands that needs cover. Jakob supposes Paul will be pleased, and as he asks whether Alistair will be, Paul comes back in to tell them he just spoke to mum and ... 'You're not leaving,' interrupts Jakob happily. Denise was as surprised as they are, but is chuffed that head office thought she could help a 'should we, shouldn't we keep it open' practice. Paul says he knows they were looking forward to having her back, but they'll have to put up with him for a little longer. Jakob tells him that yes, they were looking forward to seeing Denise again, but equally, they were sorry to see him go, and when he says his leaving do is a bit defunct now, Alistair says it is now a 'we're glad you're not leaving' do; then he remembers about The Stables having a spare room which Paul had been thinking about, and suggests that now he will be remaining in Ambridge he ought to see if it is still up for grabs. Paul tells him he is on it, and Alistair is simply the best. They other two look forward to at least six more months of high-octane veterinary nursing with Paul.

The inspection of Blossom Hill Cottage has got down to details like a slightly sticking back door, and Usha asks if Brian is going to take it. He says he is, please, and Usha tells him she can send him the standard contract, and is absolutely sure she doesn't need references; when would he like to move in. He says, ideally, A.S.A.P., and she tells him he will have to let the utilities know he is taking over, and she will see if she can get him in as quickly as possible. Does he want to hang onto the keys for today, and do any measuring he needs to? He wants to stay and do that, and to sort out some other stuff, and she tells him she hopes he'll be very happy there. She lets herself out, and Brian gives a sigh, then says, 'Home sweet home.'

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 19th March, 2023

Justin demonstrates stupidity as well as contemptibility, and Debbie butters up Adam.

Characters: David, Adam, Justin, Jim, Debbie
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

That Brian has decided to move to Blossom Hill Cottage comes as news to David; Adam tells him it has taken them all by surprise. He seems very eager: he is already packing up the house. When David clearly has no more to say on the subject Adam asks how calving and lambing are going, and David says exhausting; he is off to the shop for snacks to eat during tonight, after which he will go to The Bull for a Mothers' Day lunch. Then he realises what he has just said and apologises to Adam for mentioning mothers. Adam says he is not to be daft, and he doesn't need to tiptoe round them; David hastens to get away, and Adam calls after him that he ought to get an energy drink too. Adam's phone rings, and Adam tells the person on the other end that the spare room is ready for them and asks their ETA; whoever it is is already in Ambridge.

At the shop Justin makes a joke about the amount of chocolate David is buying, asking whether they need to restock; Jim, overhearing from the stockroom, asks whether Justin mentioned a shelf that needs re-stocking, then if he can interest David in a newspaper. David politely declines to buy one, and Jim points out an article about electric car charging points no longer getting government grants. While Justin tries to shut him up, Jim continues to dig at David; David is not interested, nor prepared to join Jim's campaign against the chargers at Hollowtree, and reiterates that when they sold the land, they were explicitly told it was for a horse to be kept there. He will sign a petition if Jim likes, but he hasn't the time or the energy to get further involved, and he doesn't want to start throwing allegations around. Jim says they need a story like a farmer having been lied to, something that's going to cause a stir. After David rushes away, with Jim calling after him that it's not good enough to stay silent and they have a duty to their fellow citizens to take a stand, Justin remonstrates: the shop needs customers, so could they please try not to scare them away?

The office at Honeysuckle Cottage is cramped as a bedroom, but Debbie (for it is she) says it is fine. It's only until Friday. She and Adam hug as if they had not been at each other's throats as a rule for years, and Debbie apologises for having rushed away straight after the funeral; Adam is understanding about her not having felt able to face being in Ambridge. He then asks after Roger, who apparently sends his love and regrets for not having been at the funeral: it's a long way and covid affected him badly. She suggests that Adam ought to get in touch, but though he is glad for Debbie that she and Roger get on, it's not the same for him. And speaking of stepfathers... She wants to know what is going on with Brian: she couldn't believe it when Kate told her about the move. Adam tells her they all feel the same; she says that even in the little time she was there she could feel her mother around at Willow Cottage and Adam says perhaps that's the point, then graciously allows as how Brian seems very positive compared to how he's been. She asks about how he is doing, and he says OK, and talks about how the edible forest garden is coming on well. They could go and see it if she wants, and he'll ring to see whether Ian wants to bring Xander along too.

Jim is now voicing his gripe against Brookfield, who ought in his opinion to have shown greater vigilance. Justin defends them, saying it's not David's responsibility; Jim makes it clear that his objection is not to charging stations but to the inappropriate location. He also objects to the anonymous nature of the company behind it. Why are they hiding? Justin equivocates, saying that it's not unusual for businesses to use consultancies in such developments. In any case, what does Jim propose to do? Jim quotes Eldridge Cleaver saying that you either have to be part of the solution or you are going to be part of the problem. And? asks Justin slightly impatiently. He'd say that makes Brookfield part of the problem, says Jim triumphantly.

Debbie thinks Adam's work is spectacular and is very flattering about what he is doing [what does she want, I wonder? Chris] but says it is just a shame he couldn't do it at Home Farm. The ever-positive Adam says that Stella is now arguing for the same things he has tried to advocate: low input, high quality; Debbie says he was ahead of the curve. Debbie says Stella and Brian seem to get on well [something she presumably knows by osmosis, since up to this point she has only been in Ambridge for the funeral. Chris] and Adam says he is just grateful the farm's got her. Adam has a quick jab about her running the place single-handed and Brian not having been into the office since Mum died; Debbie says it feels strange for nobody in the family to be actively involved any more, to which Adam responds they are happier for it, or at least he is, how about her? She protests that she is too, and loves her life in Hungary, but mentioning Mum being gone reduces her to tears, about which she apologises. She hadn't really taken in how important it is to know where you come from, and maybe that was why it was good to see Roger and feel she still has foundations; she suggests they should get to the tea-room and meet Ian and Xander. Rather than do so at once, Adam wants to tell her he has started looking for his Dad, though he doesn't even know if he's still alive; like she says, something about losing Mum. She feels it's a huge decision but it's important: even if she and Adam don't think so, deep down fathers are part of who their children are.

Justin has caught David away from his table at The Bull, and warns him he may have a bit of trouble on his hands with Jim, something more than the digs he's been having ever since the planning application came out. Justin isn't exactly sure what, but Jim's upset David won't join his crusade and although Justin understands about being busy, he just thought David ought to know: forewarned is forearmed, as they say. David thanks him for the heads-up and goes back to his meal, and Justin, in the pub where there are presumably more customers than David, then rings somebody called Asif and in a hoarse semi-whisper apologises for bothering him on a Sunday, tells him about Jim's objections, warns him they may have a formidable adversary on their hands, reminds him that he is keeping Damara's name out of it, tells him he will keep his ear to the ground and let him know if he gleans anything more concrete, and says it's amazing what you can learn in the village shop.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 20th March, 2023

Maybe Clarrie and Susan should ask David for some hay-bales?

Characters: David, Ruth, Ben, Clarrie, Susan, Jim
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

There is tragedy at Brookfield: a terrier has savaged one of the lambs, which is in a bad way. Alistair must be called, though David will do his best to clean the poor animal up with antiseptic soap, and Ruth will have to leave him to it; she has to get back to the house for today's B&B guests, since Ben is at The Laurels visiting Sykesy. That irritates David as well: they had a deal, the B&B is Ben's responsibility. At that moment Ben shouts to them; he wants them to come and see outside, at the top of the lane outside the farm entrance. [Brookfield farmyard opens directly onto a public thoroughfare going up from Ambridge to the other farms beyond Brookfield. The top of that lane is at the other side of Bridge Farm, out of sight round a corner. Chris] There's Jim and Neville and Nathan Booth, and a couple from Grange Spinney; Jim is wearing a green top hat with 'stop Brookfield car-park' on it. They are protesting against the EV charging station. Ruth is aghast and David exasperated.

The observation window is far larger than either Clarrie or Susan had expected and Clarrie feels like a fish in an aquarium, though Susan is trying to be more positive. It's here now, and Clarrie saw how excited Helen was about it. Clarrie is upset because Helen has asked them not to talk, and she is not at all sure that the people outside will only hear them when they turn the microphone on. They agree to have a practice at answering questions about the cheese-making process; Susan goes outside to be a member of the public.

Jim is on the phone directing someone how to get to the protest when the furious David arrives and tells him they have nothing to do with the charging station and suggests he should go and protest where it it going to be built, while Ben tries to calm him down. David wants to know how they are 'colluding with concreting countryside' as Neville's placard puts it, and Jim says by refusing to lend his voice to the campaign. That doesn't have to remain the case of course, but David is scornful of the idea that he is going to be persuaded by the sort of behaviour in which Jim and his friends are indulging. He loses his temper with Jim and tells him to clear off, who retorts that they are on the public highway and it's not his land. Ben tries to get David to come away, but David says he is going to call the police, while Jim talks about peaceful protest and says that calling the police won't make a jot of difference.

The practice at the dairy is going as well as could be, that is, badly. Clarrie gets flustered and can't remember things, eventually saying that it is no use and she can't do it.

The police are no help, and Ruth asks David what they are going to do and is told nothing, unless the protesters break the law. At the moment they are being careful to confine themselves to a bit of the verge, and not go onto Brookfield land. She asks him what about the B&B guests, who may arrive at any minute, and what they are going to think, and finally pushes him into losing his temper with her as well, and savagely asking her what she expects him to do about it. He has called the police, who aren't going to be able to help just as they aren't going to be able to help about who let their dog loose on Brookfield land and savaged a lamb. As he is snarling at her Ben arrives and tells him that Jim says they will go, but only after the photographer from the Echo has been. Ruth is horrified that Jim has called the papers, and Ben says he's basically after publicity for the campaign. He says let them have their picture, and hopefully they'll be gone before the guests arrive. David finds the idea of them dragging the Brookfield name through the mud intolerable, and rushes away growling 'not on your Nellie they're not!'

The workers have swapped places and Susan is being the dairy-worker to Clarrie's member of the public; she also forgets things. [We do learn that they use rennet in Borsetshire Blue, which means it is not suitable for vegetarians. Chris] She also doesn't much like it when Clarrie asks awkward questions, and decides it's silly because they are pretending and it makes her self-conscious; she won't forget things when they do it for real. Clarrie reckons that will be worse, and Susan implores her not to say that: she knows what she is talking about, she'll be absolutely fine.

Ruth is imploring Jim to move away from the entrance for the sake of their guests, who want a peaceful visit; Ben is being the voice of reason and saying they can still wait for the photographer; Jim is unmoved and points out that they care more about their guests than about the people who actually live in the village. There won't be much peace when there's car after car driving through the village, he says; Ben can't resist pointing out that electric cars are very quiet. As Ruth continues to argue with Jim, Ben notices something: it's David, driving a forklift from which he unloads bales to block the view of the farmhouse, or possibly of the protesters. Jim thinks it is outrageous, and Ruth points out the bales are on their land and they can put them where they like. So they think it is fine to stifle lawful democratic dissent, asks Jim awfully; if that's the game they want to play, they haven't heard the last of this. He can promise them that.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 21st March, 2023

Misunderstandings – two; hilarious consequences – nil.

Characters: Debbie, Brian, Joy, Justin, Paul, Harrison
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Although she doesn't want them herself, Debbie is upset that Brian, who has no use for them, is planning to get rid of Jennifer's old cookery books; he reminds her that he needs to de-clutter. She wonders what he will be taking to Blossom Hill, and starts to discuss various things he might want from what is in storage in the barn. She seems inclined to plan his furnishing for him, but when she starts to tell him that a chair she remembers would go well in the cottage and he tells her he quite fancies getting one of those reclining electric armchairs that Jennifer didn't like, it shuts her up. After he says he needs to think about what will suit him now rather than haul about things that were meant for somewhere else, it seems he can do nothing right, and saying she doesn't need to bring him some parcel tape later on makes her ask suspiciously whether he plans to be out. He says no, whereupon she invites him to dine with with her at Kate's place; she clearly takes it amiss when he says he doesn't want to and will be fine on his own.

It's a change of shift at the shop: Justin has arrived to do his stint, and Joy pauses before leaving to give him the gossip about Jim claiming that David drove down the lane [what lane? Where from? Chris] with a hoofing great pile of bales, straight at him and his fellow-protesters, who were so shaken that they gave up and went home; Joy doesn't entirely believe it, because she reckons if that had really happened the police would have got involved. She goes to get her coat from the stockroom, having mentioned that Harrison came in to drum up support for his committee to do with 'May's big event', which Justin assumes is the Coronation. While they are still talking Debbie comes in, looking for the parcel tape Brian told her not to bother getting, and when Joy hears who it is she flees rather than be introduced to her, because she is wearing the scarf that used to be Jennifer's and remembers Alice's reaction to it. Debbie asks who she was.

Harrison has missed Alistair at the surgery, which Paul is locking up; when questioned, he tells Paul there has been an outbreak of dog-attacks on livestock and he wanted to ask Alistair to remind his clients about keeping their dogs on leads. Paul for some reason seems to think Harrison is gay, and starts to flirt with him.

It seems that Joy, in her anxiety, has brought everything she got at the bring and buy sale over to Willow Cottage so that Brian can identify anything that was Jennifer's; he seems not to recognise any of it, initially, which is a relief to her, but then he does recognise a brooch, which she immediately tries to give back to him. He tells her that it is hers now, she has paid for it, but she is determined: she wouldn't feel like wearing it. He mustn't worry about the money, it was for charity anyway. She starts to pack up the things she has brought with her and get ready to go, but Brian offers her a cup of tea, or coffee, saying he was making himself one, and she accepts. They chat for a while about the bring and buy and Joy's pleasure in second hand clothing, giving something a second life. She likes wearing something which would have cost ten times as much new, especially if someone compliments her on it : one or two people have remarked on the brooch. She knows the gems aren't real, but it's so beautiful; Brian immediately repeats that she should keep it and enjoy it. He would much rather someone got pleasure from it. Put it on, he says: I want to see you wearing it. She acquiesces, but has trouble doing so: she remarks that it has quite a tricky catch, which Brian tells her Jennifer always said as well as he offers to help her with it. At which critical moment, as he is pinning it to Joy's blouse, Debbie walks in [everyone walks in on Brian without bothering to knock; one day someone will catch him having a wank. Chris] and demands 'what's going on?'

Harrison either is or is determined to seem to be unaware of Paul's interest, and talks to him as if all his innuendo were entirely ordinary conversation; when he turns down the offer of a drink, though, saying he has to get home to his missus, Paul is quite cast down. They agree that it was nice to talk, and Harrison says he will see Paul around, then remembers his meeting on Thursday and invites Paul along, saying it might be right up his street. Paul asks whether it is am-dram and Harrison tells him not exactly, it is musical, but agrees there will be lots of sparkle and amazing glamorous outfits when Paul asks, then reveals that it is to be a Eurovision Song Contest. They agree that the love Eurovision and never miss it, and Paul asks wistfully whether Harrison is sure he has a missus.

There being a wrong end of the stick available, Debbie has grasped it firmly and is berating her father and accusing him of having refused to eat out with her because Joy was coming over; no wonder Joy behaved strangely round her at the shop! This part of her tirade completely bewilders Brian, who has no idea what she is talking about. She asks whether this is a new thing, or has it been going on for a while? She refuses to accept that he and Joy might just have been talking, and tells him she has seen it all before. Brian can't believe this sort of thing would even cross her mind: he is grieving for her mother and hasn't the slightest interest in Joy, or any other woman. At this critical moment Joy comes back in, clearly having heard that a row is going on, and says that if this is about Jennifer's brooch, she will give it back – which naturally Debbie assumes to mean that Brian is giving away her mother's jewellery. When he says she doesn't understand, she says coldly that she thinks she does. He really doesn't change, does he? Don't touch her! Poor mum, she sobs; what did she ever do to deserve this? Thank God she doesn't know.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 22nd March, 2023

Debbie says the unforgivable, while George manipulates his grandmothers.

Characters: George, Susan, Adam, Debbie, Brian
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

George is going on about not being allowed to have a party at Grange Farm for his eighteenth birthday and asks Susan whether she'd mind him having it at Ambridge View; unfortunately she is not really attending to him because she is swotting up about cheese-making. Realising that he needs to butter her up a bit, George offers to ask her some questions.

When Adam gets in from work he goes to find Debbie, who is in her room. He asks about her day; she has been to see Gran, and Alice, but when Adam asks whether she has spoken to Brian she says she hasn't. He's exasperated: he told her, there's no way anything is going on between Joy and Brian. She's not been in Ambridge; she's not seen Brian these last few weeks, walking around in a daze. She interrupts his arguments to tell him in a defensive way that she knows she was wrong and jumped to the wrong conclusion, but that doesn't make it easy, walking onto the cottage and seeing them together. She thought she'd dealt with all those old feelings; obviously not. Adam tells her it's not just her: Mum's death has raked up stuff for all of them. Whatever he may have put her through, Mum was the love of Brain's life and Adam is not sure he will ever get over it, certainly not in a few weeks. She made a mistake and over-reacted; he'll understand. She just needs to tell him she's sorry, that's all.

After discovering that Susan has the bare bones of cheesemaking down pat, George starts to try the sort of questions that might be asked by people looking in through the observation window, with a slightly lubricious emphasis on how making cheese feels and what it smells of. After a while Susan is pleased enough with him to want him to keep going, and when he says he has to get home to asks Emma and Ed about his party she offers to have a word with them herself.

At Willow Cottage Brian invites Debbie in but is clearly still ruffled about her vicious attack on him and Joy; he tells her she will be relieved to know he is on his own today and that she can check the cottage if she likes: he hasn't got any fancy-women hidden upstairs. She stumbles through the form of an apology while he listens in perhaps a slightly forbidding silence: she didn't mean to, she was upset, being back in Ambridge has brought up a lot of memories, she got the wrong end of the stick... Brian tells her she got more than the wrong end: has she any idea how embarrassing that was? She replies that of course she does, and Brian points out it was not just embarrassing for him, but also for Joy, who was only there because she felt awkward about what had happened with Alice, to which Debbie replies she didn't know about that. Brian agrees that no, she didn't; she just started flinging around preposterous allegations. She says all right, she is sorry, and when he repeats 'sorry' on a note of incredulity she says look, she messed up and she doesn't know what more he wants her to say. Then she adds 'you can hardly blame me', and Brian becomes angry, especially when she says it looked as if he was keen to erase all trace of Mum. From there things can only go downhill, with him saying he doesn't need books to remember her mother and her talking about his track record and accusing him of having affairs with women in addition to Siobhán, of whom she mentions Caroline and Mandy Beesborough before saying those are only the ones they know about, at which he protests. She is just being honest, she tells him furiously. In the course of the argument she says that forgiving isn't the same as forgetting, and starts to cry as she tells him they all had to watch what he put Mum through; when he points out that Jennifer was not always faithful either she asks him indignantly why he thinks Jennifer went back to Roger, and talks of all the things she had to put up with to keep the family together. No wonder it affected her heart! That is enough for Brian, who tells her he is not going to be blamed for bringing about her mother's death. Now get out. When she asks him to let her explain, he says coldly that he thinks she has 'explained' enough; doesn't she?

The same questions that were put to Susan are now being aimed at Clarrie, with a side order of praise for her answers; she is similarly beguiled into agreeing to ask Emma and Ed about a party for George's eighteenth birthday.

The account of what Debbie said to Brian has shocked Adam, who wants to know how that was an apology. She admits that it wasn't, but blames it on what Brian is like sometimes, he couldn't just accept she was sorry. So you accused him of killing Mum instead, says Adam wryly. She denies having accused Brian of killing her, and Adam says causing her condition, then; what, he broke her heart so many times it finally broke for real? She admits that she shouldn't have said it. Adam wants to go and talk to Brian and check he is OK, but Debbie begs him not to: it won't do any good, Ian has dinner ready and they should just go and eat. When Adam says she can't just leave it like this, she tells him that it wasn't just what she said about Jennifer's heart, but refuses to tell him what else it was. The point is there were things said that can't be unsaid; she's sorry, she doesn't think there's any way of putting this right.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 23rd March, 2023

In which everyone is either unreasonable or stupid, and misunderstanding abounds.

Characters: David, Harrison, Ben, Justin, Jim, Paul
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The lamb has survived her encounter with the dog, as David tells Harrison, who has come round ostensibly to tell him there has been no result about the reported attack but also to castigate him gently for having been mean to Jim and his gang; Jim is still upset about it. David admits he had been having a bad day, and agrees he will try not to inflame the situation next time. When Ben gets back from work Harrison leaves, and it becomes clear that Ben (having been at work all day) has not got the bedroom ready for a guest who booked it as he was leaving in the morning, and nobody else has done it either. David reckons if he was going to be at work all day Ben shouldn't have accepted the booking, and Ben goes off to sort out the bedroom.

It's now Justin's turn to get a friendly warning from Harrison, this one about keeping Ruby on the lead. Justin checks that the meeting tonight is at six; he is looking forward to it. As Harrison turns away to shout something to Jim, Justin mentions that coronations don't come round every year, but it is clear Harrison hasn't heard him. When Jim comes over, Justin takes his leave, and Harrison tells Jim he had a chat with David and suggested he could have handled things a bit differently on Monday; Jim doesn't seem to mind that it was nothing more than having a word, and says they live to fight another day. He too leaves Harrison to go about his off-duty business, ignoring a shouted invitation to the Eurovision meeting.

When the doorbell ring David doesn't answer it, instead calling Ben to come downstairs and do so. When Ben gets to the door, Jim is on the doorstep and turns out to have made the booking that morning. David is exceedingly hostile, not at all surprisingly, and Jim is urbane, while forging into the house and upstairs and saying that he doesn't mind carrying his own case.

At Harrison's meeting, Justin tries to pump Harrison about Jim's protest but gets nothing out of him. Paul then arrives, flamboyantly dressed and carrying a lot of union flags; as expected, Justin makes a lot of 'amusing' mistakes about the Eurovision song contest because he thinks Paul and Harrison are talking about the coronation.

David asks Jim to leave, and Ben offers him a refund, but he is determined to stay the night and says they have no legal way to evict him. He doesn't want a refund; he would like David to take his foot out of the door so he can settle in. When David says he is going to throw him out, Jim speaks of the review he would write in that case and the effect it would have on future custom. He refuses all conciliatory offers about his campaign made by David, and refuses to say what he actually wants of him. When David argues that his action won't change anything and asks him please to get out of their house, he simply says no. Ben opines that Jim is right: he has paid to be there, and it is no skin off their nose if they let him stay. He tells Jim when checkout time is, and that there is a late check-out fee. Jim replies that he understands, and also mentions that he won't be requiring breakfast; he has brought plenty of sustenance with him. He then shuts and locks the door.

At The Bull the hilarious misunderstandings continue, including Paul saying 'you do know she's trans' (meaning Dana International), and Justin being outraged because he was speaking of Queen Elizabeth II when he got that reply. At that point, mercifully for all of us, Harrison actually mentions the word Eurovision, and Justin is suppressed and somewhat embarrassed. Harrison promptly co-opts him as treasurer.

Brookfield is now adorned with a sheet hanging out of Jim's window saying 'Visit Brookfield, charging station views coming soon'. [This confirms that Jim is getting a little gaga; Hollowtree is not in line-of-sight from Brookfield farmhouse because there is a village in the way. Chris.] David says he will go to get a ladder and pull it down, but Ben dissuades him: it's getting dark, and even in the morning you'll barely be able to see it from the road. Getting Jim riled only makes him worse, and if this makes him feel he has got one over on them what difference does it really make? Just let him do his thing. David understandably asks what if he refuses to check out tomorrow? He could have enough in his suitcase to stay holed up for days. [That, I suspect, would be illegal; he has paid for one night, not many. Chris.] Don't they have more guests coming tomorrow? Ben confirms that the Thompsons are doing so and will stay until Monday. David asks what happens if Jim doesn't leave, and when Ben assures him it's not going to come to that, wants to know how Ben knows that. Can he see inside Jim's head? Now they have to hope it's not just his welcome he outstays.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 24th March, 2023

Two departures, both timely.

Characters: Brian, Adam, Debbie, Ruth, David, Chelsea, Jim
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Adam is trying to persuade Brian to talk to Debbie, who is leaving for the airport in a couple of hours. Brian can't see that they have anything to discuss; Adam most unfairly says how unhappy Jennifer would be about this, which brings a reproachful 'Adam' from Brian.

The siege at Brookfield continues; Ruth is up outside the guest bedroom with a cup of tea and a flapjack. There is no reply to her knocks, so she leaves them and goes back downstairs. David tells her that Josh has discovered an online video by Jim, one of a series, though David says he's had hardly any views or shares. Ruth can't think how they are going to get him out; Alistair, Jazzer and Jill have all failed to get him to budge. Ben still thinks he will check out at midday, but Ruth is worried in case he doesn't; David says that the minute the clock strikes twelve they drag him out of there, which Ruth doesn't think a good idea because of how he might retaliate. They have to find another way. Ruth then notices the replies to Jim's posts and wonders if the person who sent them might be able to help.

Debbie has packed and is ready to leave; Adam wonders if she plans to see Brian and it is clear that he thinks she should try to make peace with him, but she says he obviously doesn't want anything to do with her and the best thing she can do is just get going. As they argue over who will carry her case to the car the ding-dong doorbell rings, and when Adam answers it Brian is on the doorstep. Debbie greets him with the words 'Guess you were hoping I'd gone.' [So she clearly doesn't want to be civil to him; would Adam still think she did, after hearing that? Chris]

The writer of the comments to Jim turns out to be Chelsea, whom Ruth is begging to help them get Jim to leave. She isn't sure what to say, but is sure she doesn't want Ruth anywhere near when she tries: she can't do it with Ruth hovering over her. Once Ruth has reluctantly gone away downstairs, Chelsea knocks on the bedroom door and says who it is, offering to message Jim if he doesn't want to talk to her; Jim opens the door and pulls her inside.

In her own stammering way Debbie is trying to convince Brian that she never meant to hurt him [a patent lie. She did mean to. Chris] and is just asking him to listen. Fine, says Brian, he's listening. After a longish pause, Debbie admits she doesn't think he caused Jennifer's heart condition, then turns her latest 'apology' into a rehash of her feelings from twenty years ago and how Brian's behaviour with Siobhán compounded how hurt she was by Simon Gerrard's behaviour and not being able to trust him (to which Brian comments that he never trusted Simon and would have stopped Debbie from marrying him if he could have done) and how it felt as if her whole world was collapsing, so she put up a wall and she doesn't think it's ever come down. Brian is surprised, because they seemed to get on well in Hungary when he and Jennifer visited last summer, but Debbie continues with her jeremiad: she has no-one special, she doesn't have children, and she is all alone. Brian is sorry: he genuinely thought Hungary was what she wanted, and that it was a fresh start for both of them. Debbie tells him that the irony of it was that mum was able to forgive him (at this point she starts to cry) and the two of them were happy while she stayed stuck in the past. Then she blames herself for crying. Brian is horrified, and tells her they can make it all right: come back to Ambridge! When Debbie is completely taken aback, he tells her he is serious: she could manage the farm; why not? Come back and run the farm!

In the safety of 'Campaign HQ', aka the spare bedroom at Brookfield, Jim is telling Chelsea all about his lack of understanding of modern communications methods. Chelsea tells him bluntly that he can never go viral, and the top hat and banner just make him look a little bit mad. He ought to play to his strengths; all the stuff he was banging on about in his videos like flood risk and light pollution and village envelopes, that's what he's good at: the really boring stuff, what most people can't be bothered with. Jim says that he does have an eye for minutiae, and Chelsea tells him that is what he ought to concentrate on and that is how he is going to win.

Out on the stairs, David and Ruth whisper together, until suddenly Jim's door opens and he emerges, only going back briefly to collect his razor. He praises the comfortable room, tells them he will certainly be leaving a complimentary review, asks them to cut down his banner-sheet, and when David asks what about his campaign says that Chelsea has convinced him this phase has served its useful purpose. The new tactics Chelsea says he has cooked up are nothing that need concern David. As he breezes out he thanks the astounded Archer couple for their hospitality.

Brian is doing his best to persuade Debbie, minimising the need for Stella after her contract finishes: when Debbie says this is nuts, he assures her they only took Stella on because there was no-one else to manage the farm after Adam left. All Brian ever wanted was to be able to pass Home Farm on to his children, and Debbie is the one who could do it. They could be a team again, put the past behind them properly this time. What does she say? Debbie says it's funny, she was only telling Adam the other day how much she missed the place, and you can't escape your roots; Brian, delighted, assumes that is a yes and she will come back, but what she says is no. She's sorry: she loves the farm, she loves Ambridge, she loves him, but there's just too much history. For better or worse, Hungary is her home now. It's where she belongs [lucky old it, Gus].

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 26th March, 2023

Every moment with your children counts; the best ones are when they are leaving.

Characters: Tom, Helen, Natasha, Lee, Alice, Brian
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Gwenda Hughes
Editor: Jeremy Howe

An outing to Netherbourne Hall has been arranged and Tom and Natasha are late; Helen and Lee have been waiting twenty minutes. Helen and Tom start to talk about Bridge Farm, until Natasha calls them to order: she and Tom agreed, no talking about work.

When Alice walks into Willow Cottage Brian is not hard at work, but as she says, they can't do much until Adam and Ian get back. They look at a framed photo of Brian and Jennifer in Hungary last summer which Debbie has given him, and Brian can see the irony of their having gone to Hungary because they were worried about his health. He and Debbie spoke last night, and Alice is glad they have talked together and sorted things out: she was worried last week. A van pulls up outside and Adam and Ian are back; it's time to get on with it. One more load and they'll have the cottage cleared.

While Jack and Henry play, the adults discuss Jim's behaviour: Natasha has a copy of the video Jim made at Brookfield, but says what it has mostly done is make her want to stay at the B&B. She feels that thinking that Ambridge isn't the right place for a charging station doesn't mean you get to hole yourself up in someone's home. Lee points out that Jim did pay for the room, but Natasha still thinks it was a bit much. He has taken the video down since, though. Tom then triumphantly shows off some photos of his daughters, taken by an advertising campaign for Fairtrade cotton babygrows. Natasha suggests they can tell Helen and Lee about the offer they have had, for Seren and Nova to advertise for the personal care and hygiene division of a multinational company, Schaeffer Baas, which Tom says makes some of the most environmentally controversial agrochemicals. It's for a global campaign: corporates and on line. Helen is horrified, Tom says that of course they aren't thinking of doing it, and Natasha is silent; Helen tells him that it is as well they aren't, because it wouldn't just be her who'd have their guts for garters: Mum and Dad's heads would explode. Lee asks how much they are offering, but Natasha says they don't know: it was just an initial approach from the agent, and since Nell knows they run an organic farm she will be expecting a 'no'. The conversation moves on, with Tom saying [untruthfully. Chris] that it isn't as if they planned any of this, and that they didn't set out for the girls to be child models [which is why they, um, got them an agent and made them available to be, well, child models. Chris]. It's days like today that really matter, all being together. He goes on at length about the joys of parenthood and having two daughters, and Lee abruptly goes to see what Jack is up to, leaving Helen to point out to Tom that Lee is feeling a bit sensitive, and then when Tom realises what he has done that it isn't Tom's fault. [He mustn't blame himself; she'll do it for him. Gus.]

The van drives off and into the echoing Willow Cottage comes Alice, who discovers that Brian has decided to keep a few of Jennifer's old recipe books after all. Brian has turned the heating off, taken the meter-readings and made sure all the windows are locked: they're done. This is it. Roy and Kirsty came round with a present, and Alice says they have been good neighbours, especially recently. Brian agrees but says he won't miss sharing a wall; for that you need to share a taste in music. He says that Willow Cottage was only ever meant to be a stop-gap while they looked for somewhere Jennifer would be happy and they would spend their golden years, but they never found it. Alice says that Mum was happy at Willow Cottage, and she knows it wasn't easy having her living with them and it can't have seemed she appreciated it, but she really is grateful and it saved her, that and the rehab. It feels strange to see the place empty now. Brian suggests all that might be better in the past and it's not worth holding on to unhappy memories. Alice reluctantly agrees, and he says they still have the unpacking to do once they get to Blossom Hill: what are they waiting for? Time to go.

Tom is rightly feeling like an idiot because it didn't occur to him that Lee might be missing Mabel and Evie (though Natasha doesn't see why it would have done when they were talking about modelling) and when Lee comes back apologises for going on about Nova and Seren; he didn't think. Lee brushes it off, saying that time with your kids is precious and he wishes he'd had more of it before his two moved away, and Natasha asks if they have been in touch; they have video-called him and given him a tour of their new house, which has a steep street outside just like in the films. Natasha utters a few bromides, which seem to comfort Lee; he thanks them both and says it means a lot. Helen then comes back talking about tea, with hot cross buns, but Tom can't let it go, saying that he just wants Lee to know he's got them, he's got family around him. The women then defuse it all by leading off towards the café. Apropos nothing in particular, Natasha says she will drop Nell an email about the modelling job first thing.

In an equally echoing Blossom Hill Cottage [why echoing? It is full of all Brian's possessions, it ought not to echo. Chris] Brian calls goodbye to Adam and Ian and firmly shuts the door. Alice wants to stay and help him unpack, laughing about Kate having told him before she left that he is not to hang the mirror opposite the front door to reflect all the positive chi that arrives back out again, then offering to make a cup of tea, but he is determined that he doesn't want one; she should go home as well. He doesn't need any help; he would much rather do it by himself. It's been a long day. She says she thought he might want some company, but if that's what he prefers... He thanks her, and opens the door. She takes a while to get through it, making various further suggestions; he tells her not to worry about him, he will be all right on his own, and shuts the door firmly behind her.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 27th March, 2023

Oliver is in revolt, and has Jim smelled a rat?

Characters: Justin, Jim, Elizabeth, David, Oliver, Neil
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Gwenda Hughes
Editor: Jeremy Howe

When Justin jocularly asks Jim whose house he plans to squat in today and recommends Ambridge Hall of the local B&Bs, Jim is not particularly amused and is somewhat cagey about his plans. He asks whether Justin is familiar with satyagraha, and when Justin has no idea what that is, kindly explains that it is the philosophy of non-violent resistance that Gandhi employed in the fight for Indian independence. His idea was to synthesize it with social media, which Justin points out did not work. Jim agrees, and says that Chelsea told him that if he wants to stop the charging station being built his expertise lies elsewhere. When Justin tries to find out what he will be doing he asks whether Justin is not meant to be working in the shop, which opens at two, and tells him that punctuality is the politeness of kings ['punctuality is the politeness of princes' is the usual form. I suppose Jim might claim 'l'exactitude est la politesse des rois' as referring to kings; but Louis XVIII, 1755–1824, is a bit outside his period and 'princes' is the usual translation at that time, just as 'l'exactitude' is not translated as meaning 'accuracy'. Chris] and he will let Justin get on.

His burgundy waistcoat makes Oliver look very smart, according to Elizabeth. Oliver calls it 'the volunteer blazer', leaving some doubt as to which type of garment he is actually wearing. He clearly has something he wants to say to Elizabeth, but she doesn't let him get a word in, being too busy telling him all about what he presumably, being 'on the rota', already knows. When he finally manages to tell her he has been put in the scullery and the butler's pantry for the next two months, she realises that this is a complaint and swiftly tells him (and Neil, who has just arrived) that any questions about the rota should go to Freddie, not her. Neil tells Oliver he is at the main entrance, in charge of buggies and back-packs and anything people need to leave behind while they tour the house, which Oliver thinks might be even less scintillating than his post.

Collecting Jill is Elizabeth's next job; while at Brookfield she takes the opportunity to make fun of David about Jim's protest. She does volunteer that if they hadn't had to sell the land to pay for the solar panels none of this would have happened, but without actually saying they only took the money for the solar panels because Vince was her boyfriend. She asks if David has seen Brian, who wasn't in [or chose not to answer the door. Chris] when she dropped in a card for his house-moving, but David hasn't. She asks about lambing, which is easing off, and David says there have been no more dog-attacks. He asks her how things are at 'the pile', and whether she is getting used to not having Lily at home, and she says she hasn't had the chance because Lily is still around so often. She does feel that Lily might be getting more out of uni if she lived in Felpersham. David then utters a disbelieving groan; Jim has arrived and knocks on the door.

A creaking door heralds the arrival of Oliver, wanting a word with Neil. He is bored and hasn't even got mobile reception. He is rather fed up with what he has been given to do, and resentful of the more experienced guides being given the more interesting rooms to show off. He has a good gripe about it, and Neil suggests that he and Oliver were not the recruits Freddie had in mind, especially with some of the mutterings from the old guard about the painting: one is even threatening to resign if it is removed, a view with which Oliver is in sympathy. If their possibly agreeing about the painting is the reason Freddie consigned him and Neil to the very boring areas they are in, he feels they need to demonstrate that the more mature people still have something up their sleeves.

Jim has come to apologise, and to invite David to be part of his team for the pub quiz on Thursday, the drinks to be Jim's responsibility. When David is reluctant, Elizabeth butts in to ask how he can possibly say no to an olive branch. Eventually, and having apparently forgotten about the lambing and the calving, David agrees to go, though Ruth is out at the cinema with Stella that night and Ben is working evenings, while Jill may be at Leonard's and Pip would have to find someone to babysit. He doesn't want to be a team of two with Jim, and when Elizabeth tells him he should go he tells her she ought to as well, to which she agrees. After Jim has gone, Elizabeth speaks reproachfully to David, who says he has already been lumbered with Jim once this week; now Elizabeth can enjoy the pleasure of his company too.

Further to his insurrectionist plans, Oliver has arranged that he and Neil will take a tour from Abberton Wood, a retirement village, round Lower Loxley Hall on Wednesday, while Clifford and Diane take over their positions in the scullery and at the door. Neil is a bit taken aback but does agree that he wanted to be given more to do; it just seems rather a lot to take on. He was thinking more of being a guide in one of the main rooms. Oliver talks up the idea as being a friendly group of pensioners to show round, and says it will show Freddie there is no reason not to give them more rewarding roles. Neil agrees it is worth a shot.

When Jim gets to the shop at one minute to five he feels that Justin could finish early, but Justin would rather stay and talk. When he tries to pump Jim about what he plans to do, Jim elects to tell him in spite of being suspicious of him; he plans a campaign based on thorough research and facts. He has already approached a local architect to advise on planning regs, and Usha is asking on of her colleagues if he'll assist with legal issues on a pro bono basis. His 'cunning scheme', as Justin put it, is to assemble a crack team of experts to challenge every detail of the application. At the very least, it might delay things. Justin rather ruefully says that it might And who knows, says Jim: if they put up enough obstacles the developers may decide to throw in the towel before it even reaches the planning committee. So what does Justin make of that, he asks triumphantly. Justin thinks it sounds like a much more formidable plan; he's sure when the developers get wind of it they'll be quaking in their boots.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 28th March, 2023

Tom goes against his better judgement and Oliver shows there is no fool like an old fool.

Characters: Oliver, Ed, Will, Natasha, Tom, George
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Gwenda Hughes
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The revised tour on Wednesday is being bigged up by Oliver to Ed, who is polite but not interested; when Will arrives to help weigh the lambs and separate them for weaning Oliver leaves to brush up his Lower Loxley Hall knowledge so he won't be caught out by any tricky question, and the two brothers get on with the task before them. As they work they discuss both George's grandmothers having produced near-identical reasons for George to be allowed an eighteenth birthday party at Grange Farm, and they realise it isn't a coincidence; they conclude that George has been coaching Clarrie and Susan.

It is hectic in the Bridge Farm packing shed when Natasha comes in determined to talk to Tom. She has picked a bad moment; he is both very busy and totally preoccupied, talking at length about the grand opening on Monday and the parts everyone including the two of them will play in it, as well as Justin trying to talk to him about the charging station, and without stopping to listen to her; eventually she shouts at him to get his undivided attention. When she has it, she tells him she's had Nell on the phone about the Schaeffer Baas job for the twins; Tom at once hopes she made it clear the girls would not be modelling for an agrochemicals firm, and she says yes, she did, but then Nell explained exactly what they might be giving up financially. She thinks they ought to take the job.

George is back from college early, as Oliver points out, and they get talking. Cassis tutissima virtus is apparently the Pargetter motto [Have they had away with Cholmondeley's arms as well as the Cholmondeley motto? Has anyone bothered to tell the seventh Marquess? Chris] and Oliver obligingly translates it for George: virtue is the safest helmet. Oliver then keeps George to talk about his pig bio-security project, and George is surprisingly informed and eloquent on the subject.

Natasha is now arguing for what she wants, and Tom for once is not caving in immediately but arguing against her. She keeps on about the money, he is equally firm about the company being one which none of them would want to be associated with. She claims that she doesn't like it either, but if they don't take the job, someone else will. Also, if anyone thinks they recognise the babies, their parents can just say it's not them. Tom feels she has already made her mind up; she can't see how they can turn down that sort of money, and then mentions having left home with nothing but a load of student debt. She doesn't want that to happen to Seren and Nova. He wavers, but in the end he has had enough and tells her desperately that he needs time to think about it.

The lecture on pig bio-security continues, and ends with George admitting that he might like to work with pigs but absolutely doesn't want to work for a company like Borchester Land: he wants to be his own master. Oliver sympathises. George tells him that one of the options he is doing at college is about developing a land-based enterprise, about which he also seems knowledgeable. Oliver applauds this, then says he'll be an adult soon; week on Friday, says George, only ten days to go. George then starts to try to get Oliver's consent, as the owner of the farm, to George having a party there; Oliver is busy being non-committal as Will and Ed come in and let George know his scheming has been seen through. And it's still a 'no', Will tells him, though they have come up with something else he might like.

After the boxes are all packed and the van is loaded Natasha comes back and may have intended to have another go, but Tom pre-empts her. He's sorry about earlier, and she's right; they should take the job. It's hard, but they'd be mad to turn their noses up at that sort of money [the amount of which he has telepathically discovered, since she didn't in fact give any figure. Chris]. Natasha says there is one more problem: the video-shoot is on Monday. She could try to take the girls on her own, but if anything goes wrong that will be very difficult. Tom realises it would be too tough for only one of them and they both need to go. He says they can't tell everyone the truth, and Natasha suggests just saying it's another big modelling job that they couldn't afford to turn down. Will then arrives to start delivering the food-boxes, and Tom and Natasha leave it at that.

Oliver has gone to find Ed and ask his opinion of a scheme Oliver has had about George's birthday; Ed assumes it's about the party and says George seemed happy enough with the offer of being driven into town in the limo to impress his mates, but Oliver says no, it's something else. He thinks George has a lot of potential and wants to sponsor him; if George can produce a convincing business proposition and Oliver would want to see a properly worked out plan before committing himself – he thinks providing George with a kick-start would be money well spent. Ed is slightly staggered and asks how much they are talking about; Oliver says that would depend on George's proposal, but he was thinking of maybe five thousand pounds? How does that sound to Ed?

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 29th March, 2023

All's well that ends well for Oliver, while it's his beginnings that bother George.

Characters: Neil, Elizabeth, Oliver, Will, Ed, George
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Gwenda Hughes
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Neil is rehearsing his guided tour talk at Elizabeth, who really isn't interested until he tells her that he and Oliver have swapped rôles and he and Oliver will be doing the tour. She is disconcerted and wants to know whether Freddie knows, then tells Neil that Maria will be late arriving because her little boy is ill. Neil has no idea who that is, and Elizabeth says it is their schools co-ordinator; Neil has not spoken to her, and has not been through the lesson plan for Abberton Wood. Neil thought Abberton Wood was a retirement village, and as she starts to correct him Oliver, the originator of that idea, arrives full of good cheer. When he too is told that he has volunteered to show members of a primary school round he disputes that Abberton Wood is a primary school in Felpersham, but is told the primary school he knew about has been taken over by an academy trust who rebranded it. A coach-load of year six pupils will be arriving shortly, and someone has to teach them, while at the moment they don't even have Maria.

The limo has not been properly cleaned by Eddie, so Will and Ed are doing it. They agree that they should take Oliver up on his offer to help George, just before George himself turns up and starts to criticise the cleaning job, then demand extra perks for his limo ride such as a keg of beer in the back so he and his mates can have pints on the way. He wants to test the sound system in order to make sure he can play music off his phone, and when Ed starts the car so the battery won't be drained, the engine makes an ominous clattering noise [such as no car ever makes. Chris] and it becomes clear there is something badly wrong.

The penny has finally dropped for Neil: Abberton Court is a retirement village, Abberton Wood is a primary school. Oliver is relieved he hasn't gone completely mad, and admits he made a mistake. Elizabeth gets a text from Maria, who is now stuck in traffic after an accident just outside Websterbridge and has no idea when she'll arrive. Oliver offers to speak to Cliff and Diane; Elizabeth has already tried that and they're not prepared to swap back so it's no use. Oliver asks if she or Freddie could do it, but she has a meeting with the accountant and it is Freddie's day off. She's afraid Oliver and Neil will have to do it; they've got the Key Stage Two resources. She gives them some skeletal instructions. Neil hears the coach arriving.

George asks anxiously whether they can fix the limo, but Ed says something major has gone wrong and Will says there's no way it will be up and running for his birthday. George is gutted: he promised his mates a swanky ride. Ed offers them lifts from him, Will and Emma, but George point-blank refuses the offer; it's embarrassing. In the limo with the partition his mates can't see who's at the wheel; if they can, he knows what they will say. As Will comes over to ask how it's going, George explodes: he wanted to prove to his mates that his family aren't just a bunch of hoboes and they wouldn't let him show off the family farm, and no way is he going to be dropped off by his parents and his uncle. Ed says if it's that embarrassing they could manage taxis; Will cavils about the cost of taxis to Felpersham, and George continues to refuse to be taken by his family: he's not giving his mates the ammunition. He'd rather just sack off the whole thing.

Oliver is feeling miserable and inadequate, because he has been babbling and blustering in a random way; Neil tells him that is working very well because Neil knows the actual answers and is correcting him, and the kids love the by-play. Oliver is the class clown and Neil is the boring swot. They are indeed laughing at Oliver, but in a good way. One of the teachers has just told Neil she's never seen them so engaged. Oliver is greatly encouraged.

A ferret is squeaking at George, who when Will comes up to his room pretends to be working; Will sees through that and reminds him he's not meant to have ferrets in his room, but he won't tell. He wanted to talk to George about his birthday; it's not George's fault the limo is bust, so if paying for taxis means he'll have a good birthday then that's what they'll do. Just don't go promising a ride to absolutely everyone: it'll bankrupt them. George says he won't. Will then asks whether George is that embarrassed by them, and walks into the truth as George sees it: it isn't him personally, explains George, it's just what people say. When questioned further, George tells him that it isn't them not having money, it's that Ed isn't just his uncle, he's his step-dad and all, and George's friends poke fun at his whole life, asking if his mum couldn't tell the difference between the brothers, does he know who is his real dad, or if they are a threesome. Will says he should ignore them, he knows what happened; yeah, says George, and even he thinks it's messed up: mum having two kids by two brothers and they're all living on the same farm? Will says he thought George was fine with it, and George wants to know how come Will is fine with it: that's what he doesn't understand. Will tries to explain: for a long time he wasn't, but after a while he came to terms with the fact that he and Emma just weren't meant to be. George mutters that she humiliated Will, and when Will says that he wouldn't say that comes straight back with 'No, you wouldn't. That's how weak she made you.' Will objects that's a bit harsh, and George apologises, and says he knows they are meant to pretend like it's normal, but it really ain't. Of course his mates take the mick: it's weird. Who can blame them?

Oliver triumphantly tells Elizabeth that it is all fine and Maria has now arrived and is taking the children to lunch. Elizabeth is greatly relieved and asks if it was a total mess; the two men say it wasn't a mess at all, and give her a quick taste of the double-act they put on, which makes her laugh. She says that as with all the school visits they'll be asking for feedback, and Oliver asks whether Freddie will hear about it if it is positive; Elizabeth assures him he will. Just if Oliver is tempted in future to amend the rota, please check with him first! She tells him they can go home when they are done with the children; Neil apologises for tinkering with the rota, and she supposes there is no harm done in the end. Oliver suggests that if two fuddy-duddies like him and Neil can handle that, they can handle anything: maybe this is just what was needed to make Freddie take note.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 30th March, 2023

Alice moithers, Jim investigates, and Justin quite gratuitously stirs some shit.

Characters: Alice, Lilian, Justin, Jim, Elizabeth, David
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Gwenda Hughes
Editor: Jeremy Howe

For some reason Brian is not at home; he is out in his car, and Alice wants to know where he has gone. [He has clearly gone down to the end of the town without first consulting her. Chris.] Lilian is unfussed; that doesn't mean he's gone AWOL, he might have gone into town or to the market. Alice thinks it's a bit odd that he went out without telling anyone, or answering the message she has left for him. They go on grooming Aziz and chatting; Martha has a new cute saying, and it is James' fiftieth birthday. Then Justin drives into the yard in an electric car.

At The Bull Jim is delighted to greet Elizabeth, and wonders where David has got to. Elizabeth says he hasn't managed to persuade anyone else to join their team. Jim has got them a table and registered them for the quiz as Team Détente, which has be explained to Elizabeth as being suitable for Jim and David; Jim hopes David won't mind, but Elizabeth is sure he won't. He offers Elizabeth a drink, and she asks for a glass of Sauvignon Blanc; there is a queue at the bar, and he chats with her for a little until David appears, delayed by a cow-muck based emergency, and asks for a pint of Shires. Jim apologises for having tried to force his hand over the charging station, then tries to get him to divulge the name of the person he sold the land to; Elizabeth suggests they could get the drinks and the quiz out of the way first and Jim immediately agrees. He has already made a start on the picture round: he thinks the young man with the beard and luxuriant hair is Stalin.

The car was a present for Lilian, who enjoys driving it but wants to know why he got it for her. She is not flannelled by his saying she deserves to be spoiled, and Justin comes clean and tells her Damara is an investor in the company behind Ambridge's proposed new EV charging station. He didn't tell her this before because as the deal came together, she was losing Jennifer and he didn't want to trouble her. He is telling her now because of the rising public opposition, though he doesn't intent to make Damara's interest public knowledge. Anyway, he feels they ought to walk the talk, and an engineer is coming next week to install a charging point on the drive. Lilian thinks they ought to head for home before they run out of battery, and Justin agrees that she has drained it [so they've gone a couple of hundred miles? Chris] but suggests stopping for a nightcap on the way.

One of the children, probably Lily, might have been able to convince Jim the hirsute young man was Zayn Malik not Stalin, or so Elizabeth reckons. She tells David that Lily has been haunting Lower Loxley Hall, but has finally explained to Elizabeth that she doesn't feel confident enough at university to move away altogether; she felt The Stables was a good half-way house. Jim comes back to the table, having submitted the answers so far, and the next round is going to be current events. Elizabeth jokes that one of the answers might be Jim's sit-in, and David lets slip that Justin implied to him that Jim had set his sights on Brookfield, and he ought to have listened. This treachery seems to confirm Jim in a low opinion of Justin, and he offers to get in another round

Being the treasurer for the Eurovision committee has been worrying Justin, who doesn't want to do it, though Lilian thinks he would be the perfect fit. When he says he doesn't know how to get out of it, Lilian says don't, then, just throw himself into it and have an absolute ball. He changes the subject to ask her whether she has locked the car, and when she does she exclaims that even the way its lights turn off is fancy. Justin reminds her to say nothing about Damara's involvement in the charging station; she says her lips are sealed. Alice then appears out of the darkness and asks if they had a nice drive; she is still trying to get hold of her father, for no reason she seems able to specify, and was going to see if he was in the pub. Lilian goes happily off to check if he's inside.

The quiz has not been a failure exactly, since Team Détente came in third, and Jim comes back with drinks complaining about the quality of the illustrations in the picture round; Elizabeth goes to congratulate the winners, the Snell's Angels, leaving David and Jim together. Jim says he found himself next to Justin at the bar, and is surprised he didn't resume his questions regarding Jim's plans to stop the charging station. David asks if Jim thinks Justin has something to do with that, and Jim says it's possible: he's never trusted him, and now it turns out he's been slipping David information. David cavils that it was more of a general warning, but Jim feels it confirms the man has a hidden agenda. When David wonders how they can be sure, Jim suggests that investigating the man who acquired the land could help: he might have purchased it for Justin in order to keep David in the dark. David is happy to divulge it if Jim thinks it would help: the name was Marcus Bonneville. Jim is delighted: isn't it better when you work together! It looks as if they've got some detective work to do.

Speaking as to a small child or one who is hard of understanding, Alice bellows into the phone to her father, explaining that she was worried because he didn't reply to her messages. After she rings off Lilian asks where he is, and Alice doesn't know, though it sounded as if he were in a bar or a restaurant. After she has gone home to go to bed, Justin takes the opportunity to suggest to Lilian, on absolutely no grounds whatever, that Brian may be 'up to his old tricks', all about which Justin has heard. [This is patently echoing Shula saying the same in 1985, only there was at least a little evidence on that occasion. Chris] Maybe the reason he didn't say where he was going is that he doesn't want anyone to know, leers Justin.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 31st March, 2023

Tom stands up better than Brian against being pushed around; Jim plays detective.

Characters: Jim, Brian, Alice, Helen, Tom, David
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Gwenda Hughes
Editor: Jeremy Howe

A solicitous Jim is offering Brian another bag in the shop; Brian has spent £23.86. Jim mentions a couple of names (Marcus Bonneville and Asif Morani) from the business community, ie connected with the charging station, to see if Brian knows them, but he doesn't, and he is about to leave when he remembers paprika, which he couldn't see on the shelves. Jim goes to find some just as Alice walks in and starts cross-examining Brian, who makes his excuses and leaves before Jim gets back from the stockroom asking whether he wants his paprika ordinary or smoked.

At Bridge Farm Helen is ordering Tom around and piling extra work on him because he and Natasha won't be there for the Grand Opening on Monday; she has written his tasks on the white-board without consulting him, so the requirement to put the wooden cow made by Bert out into the yard comes as a surprise to him. She excuses her high-handedness by saying that the rest of them will have to work twice as hard on Monday now he and Natasha won't be there. After a longish exposition of how important the day will be, all of which Tom and the listeners already knew, she makes it clear that she has guessed that the photo-shoot on Monday is in fact for Sheaffer Baas, which Tom emphatically denies. She asks where the shoot is and he says London, whereupon she lies and says Natasha told her Manchester. Tom falls for this. Helen becomes shrilly indignant about them having taken the job with the agrochemical giant, whereat Tom sensibly walks out saying he has jobs to do.

Jim has gone triumphantly to Brookfield to pool information with David. They have both found out that Marcus Bonneville is the director of Chaff and Wester Property Limited, but Jim has taken his search further and discovered the other names associated with that company, one of whom is called Asif Morani. And Asif Morani also works for a company called Cellcharge UK, which specialises in charging stations. Admittedly this gets them no closer to proving that Justin is involved – but David has come from the other end, looked at Damara Capital's website and discovered that you can download their annual report, where he has discovered them writing about the move from fossil fuels and the opportunities provided by investment in rural charging infrastructure. Jim congratulates David, who says that now all they need to do is link Damara Capital with Cellcharge UK. But how, wonders Jim portentously.

Alice has doorstepped Brian and is continuing her interrogation; he doesn't want to let her in but eventually capitulates. He doesn't see any reason for him to have to tell her his every whereabouts, and says so perfectly reasonably, but she then starts to come out with the same grossly insulting suspicions voiced by Debbie, which makes him angry. She says she didn't really think that, but since he won't tell them what he is doing... He does his best to point out that it is nothing for her to worry about, but before he can get her to leave him in peace the smoke-alarm in the kitchen starts to go off. 'Oh, that's just perfect,' says Brian crossly.

Jim is now ringing Cellcharge UK's head office, pretending to be Justin Elliott and asking if he can speak to Asif Morani; it's quite urgent, he tells the switchboard, so they transfer him to Asif's mobile. When he is put through he claims he has been put through to the wrong number and hangs up, telling David triumphantly that Asif greeted him with the words 'Hello Justin' and it sounded is if they'd known each other for years. Jim is outraged again: all those questions in the shop, pretending he was simply making conversation; that man's been playing Jim for a fool. David too; last week's events need not have happened if Justin had had the decency to come clean. However, there is nothing to be gained from an immediate confrontation; as long as Justin doesn't know that they know, then they hold an advantage. They can play him at his own game.

Brian reckons the chicken Kiev [not pronounced Kyiv by him. Chris] that he was cooking is pretty unsalvageable, though Alice says it is only burnt on one side, and starts to put it in the bin. Under continued pestering he 'admits' to having been to a cookery school, since he thought he could benefit from mastering a few basic skills. [Since when was a Chicken Kiev 'basic'? Chris] That was where he was yesterday, and when Alice asks why keep it secret, he admits he was self conscious. He didn't want lots of attention. And it was rather nice being with new people who didn't know he was a widower. In the evening they ate what they had been cooking, which was what Alice heard when she rang him. His kievs were better yesterday; Alice says that one looked pretty professional to her and she would love him to cook her one. In fact, they [nb, not he; she is taking over. Chris] ought to invite Adam and Kate to Sunday lunch as a mini housewarming. He's not to worry, they could all muck in if he needs help; and it's what Mum would have done. With surprisingly good grace, or perhaps just worn down by her importunity, he agrees.

Displaying uncharacteristic backbone [sudden onset scoliosis? Gus], Tom stands up to Helen's bullying over the Shaeffer Baas job. He eventually points out that if she tells Pat and Tony it won't stop them from doing the job, it will just cause lots of nasty arguments, and he'd say Dad has had enough heartache this year. When Helen says that's not fair and it is his decision, he comes back with no, it is hers. She can think what she likes about his and Natasha's motivation, and as for Mum and Dad finding out, that's up to her.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 2nd April, 2023

Martha's in the money, and Tom is in the dog-house.

Characters: Helen, Tom, George, Alice, Brian, Adam, Kate
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

While Tom is working flat out to get the veg boxes ready Helen comes to nag him shrilly in order to make it absolutely clear that she is annoyed with him. Eventually she needles him into snapping back at her, and then being very calm as he asks her if she wants to talk about the modelling job, since that is obviously what her evil tamper is about. She denies that there is any point, and then since George arrives and she presumably doesn't want to appear badly in his eyes says that she is going for lunch with Lee and the boys, and that George and Tom can find and erect the wooden cow. She can't resist being a bit nasty about Tom to George before she flounces off, even so, though she moderates her voice for his benefit.

At the Sunday lunch preparations Alice offers to help, but Brian has everything under control. To give her something to do, he asks her if she will prepare the starter: asparagus wrapped in prosciutto ham, though he is not sure whether that is cheating; she says it isn't if he calls her his sous-chef. As she goes to get the asparagus she notices the important-looking envelope with Jennifer's will in it, fetched by Brian from the solicitor's yesterday. She is surprised that he hasn't opened it, but at that moment the doorbell rings and he says it must be Adam and Kate as he goes to answer it. Adam has brought some Prosecco and some sparkling rhubarb cordial; Kate has brought nothing, but volunteers herself to clear up. They all go through to the kitchen.

As Tom and George look for the wooden cow, we discover another new talent for George: he is expert enough at film-making to be able to provide an answer to Tom's difficulty about Will not being able to stand in for him explaining about the Bridge Fresh veg boxes. They have quite a good time discussing how the film is to be made, and also find a forgotten promotional life-size cut-out of Tom to which a QR code can be fixed.

Brian having mysteriously vanished out of earshot pro tem, Kate declares that the meal was surprisingly tasty, though Adam suggests he needs Jennifer's recipe for roast potatoes; Alice defends him, saying he's done pretty well after only one week of lessons. [During which week Alice didn't miss him at all until Thursday. Hmmm. Chris.] Kate praises with faint damns (her veggieburger obviously wasn't home-made but the cauliflower cheese was quite nice) and Alice says it's a shame Debbie and Ruairi couldn't be there, though Kate suggests the tension in the room might have made digestion a bit difficult. As they discuss Ruairi and poor old Dad being the only one still in the doghouse Brian comes back in and asks who is in the doghouse, to be told by Kate that obviously it's not him; now he's proved himself she'll send him some of her favourite vegan recipes to try next time. Brian's enthusiasm is not noticeable, but she goes to get her phone anyway and comes across the envelope with the will in it and asks what it is. When told, she too is surprised he hasn't opened it, and he says that he knows what's in it, but she can open it if she wants; he was planning to send copies to Ruairi and Debbie, but otherwise they are all here. Kate pauses and says it feels wrong, 'deceased' in relation to Jennifer, and Alice becomes upset; Brian says if it is going to distress them they can read it another time and there is really no hurry, but Kate has gone right ahead and now discovers that Mum left some money to Martha but none to her other grandchildren. Adam assumes it's a gesture and must be for all the grandchildren, but Kate says he can see for himself, and as far as she is concerned fifteen thousand is more than a gesture.

The filming of Tom is going on until Helen barges into the middle of a take and spoils it. She is completely unrepentant and simply asserts that Mum needs a break and the trail signs need to go up: Tom promised he would do that. Tom asks for fifteen minutes, but Helen isn't going to allow them, so he has to go and do as he is told; he leaves George to take establishing shots of the farm. He'll be back in an hour. Helen tells George to come back to the yard as soon as he's done: they aren't hiring him to be Tom's personal assistant. As soon as George has left she has another go at Tom for not being there tomorrow. He didn't have to say yes to the advertising job, she tells him bitterly: he had a choice. She reiterates that she hates what he's doing, and again asks him if he can imagine how horrified Mum and Dad will be if they find out. Tom asks if she is planning to tell them and she says no, it's not her place; it's his mess not hers. Now will he please get the route signs out on the track before Dad drives her mad going on about them. He asks whether there's any chance she will stop treating him like something unpleasant she found on the sole of her shoe, and she says 'Sorry Tom, no, can't promise you that.'

Brian thanks Kate and Adam for doing the clearing up, then says he'll go and light the fire because it is getting a bit chilly, but before he can go to get in some logs Adam says that when they have finished they can discuss the will [to what purpose? It's a will. It's not subject to alteration at this point. Chris] and Kate asks if he knows when Jennifer changed the will: was it after she knew she was sick, or before? Brian is absolutely clear that he didn't know she'd made any changes; she didn't tell him. Adam wants to know why only Martha and no mention of her other grandchildren, which Brian doesn't know either. He goes to get the logs, and Adam and Kate are left to speculate; Kate says he obviously doesn't want to talk about it, and Adam adds that neither did Alice: she couldn't wait to get out of there. Kate is unsure neither of them knew about this, and Adam doesn't know what to think; Kate wishes they could just ask Mum, who would have a good reason and could explain. Adam heaves a huge sigh and follows it with 'it is what it is', but Kate inclines to feeling it's wrong, and not like Mum to disregard the rest of her grandchildren. What was she thinking?

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 3rd April, 2023

The second law of Finagle states: 'Everything that can fuck up, will'.*

Characters: George, Adil, Pat, Susan, Helen, Adam
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

As the latest Bridge Farm Launch Day is about to start, George finishes hammering the model Tom into the ground and finds time to talk to Adil, who is looking for Helen. He's about to try to show Adil the promotional video he made with Tom when Pat materialises beside them, in time for Adil to smarm for a bit about David Attenborough talking about wildlife habitats in Britain [on BBC 1 at 7pm. Chris] and their importance, and how it got him really excited about the idea of growing food while giving space to nature, just as they are doing at Bridge Farm. Pat offers to give him a quick tour so he can see everything that's going on, and mentions salad shortages as a reason for it to be important that people see how their food is grown, without making the connection clear at all. Then she tries to introduce George and Adil to each other, except that they met at Christmas because they were both in what George refers to as 'the Christmas farce' meaning the Christmas carols; Adil flatters George by telling him that Oliver speaks highly of him. Pat breaks up the love-fest by asking George to pop over to the welcome tent and grab Adil a taster pack, which George goes to do.

Inside the dairy Susan and Helen are chatting together and having a laugh about the families who have been looking in through the window when Adam comes in to ask how it's going. Apparently they've been busier than usual and had a nice steady stream of visitors all morning, and had a lot of questions. When Helen steps outside to put a list of times outside the window Susan asks Adam whether he has heard anything from his father, which he hasn't, and then whether Brian is OK with him putting out feelers, to which Adam replies that he's been very good about it, and in answer to a further question about how Brian is in himself says he seems fine and cooked a really nice lunch for him, Kate and Alice yesterday. Then another family appears at the window, Helen comes in to say she is off to give a talk about the farm, at which point a noise like chain being bashed rhythmically against a concrete floor indicates to Susan that a bearing has gone again and Helen asks Adam to move the family over to the other window [or the other end of the single long window we heard was being installed? Chris] and he says he will keep them entertained while Susan and Helen sort things out.

Adil is now telling Pat that he sees local producers as partners and goes into a panagyric on growing, making and serving food with love [sounding like a refugee from Pseuds Corner. Chris], which pleases Pat, who replies that they are planning to build on what he sees today. George comes back with the taster pack and fails to derail Pat's determination to show Adil the new viewing window [not windows then? Chris] in the dairy; Adil promises to swing by later and be his guinea-pig. Then Helen messages Pat to tell her there is a problem, and she has to go and do Helen's talk instead of her. Perhaps he would like to come and hear it, in front of the farmhouse in twenty minutes? And he can go and see the goats in the meantime. George then intervenes saying that he will look after Adil and he will be in safe hands, and starts to boast about the video, 'my latest premier'. Unfortunately after all his talking it up, it doesn't work: the QR code has expired. Adil tells him he'll just have to firefight: George made the film and knows what Tom was talking about, so he can simply do the talk in person. Adil has five minutes: 'impress me, George Grundy.'

While Adam keeps the crowd at bay, Susan replaces the broken bearing. She mentions this is not in their original job description, and gets ready to go and take over from Adam; Helen is non-committally pleased about all being well that ends well. Susan says that now the public have these windows [not window? Chris] into their world the job will never be the same again. We move to the other window (or end), where Adam is making weak jokes to a group of people who are apparently lapping it up, or at least silently refraining from heckling or throwing things. As he finishes, Helen tells him they're ready when he is, and he directs the group to move across to the cheese-room window [both of it. Chris], where Helen Archer is getting ready to load the curds into the milling machine.

George has Tom's spiel memorised and also manages to answer questions Adil throws at him; he is rewarded by some desultory clapping and Adil saying 'well done', and that he got Adil to believe he actually cared about organic farming. He soon puts Adil straight on that one; not enough money in it for him. He wants to be a proper businessman, or an influencer. Adil is somewhat disappointed, but takes the opportunity to give him a pep-talk about hard work and a good attitude, and how being decent and hard-working matters more than ever when you have money and power.

As a reward for having slogged their socks off all day, Helen proposes to give Susan and Clarrie an extra break tomorrow. Pat congratulates everyone, herself included, on the success of the day, and mentions that Will said quite a few people mentioned the blog; Susan says they had as many questions about Nova and Seren as they did about curds and whey. Pat's talk was a success, with people staying afterwards to chat about the history of the farm, and Ambridge. And Adam's talk about the edible forest garden seemed to go very well. Susan mentions that she was half machine engineer and half public performer today, and Helen says she deserves proper recognition for that but, as Susan asks what sort of recognition that might be, George walks over and interrupts, then embarrassed by Pat's praise of him. Tom and Natasha are mentioned as not having been in touch, and George says when they do hear from Tom, could they ask him when he will get paid: Tom said he'd sort him out with a bit extra because of the filming. Susan is mortified by him asking, Helen says he deserves to be paid because he's done a good job, and Pat says they've all done a good job. All these new attractions, and a decent Spring, are really going to put Bridge Farm on the map.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

* Finagle's third law states that once you have allowed for every conceivable fuckup, nothing will go wrong, just to fuck you up. The first law was lost in the post.

Tuesday 4th April, 2023

Now it's Brian chasing Alice, while Lee hunts for treasure.

Characters: Lee, Susan, Helen, Alice, Brian
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

All Lee wants at the shop is washing powder and beans, though Susan tries to tempt him to get some treats for the boys. She asks how today went at the dairy and is told it went well, though not as crowded as yesterday; when Lee tells her Helen said she was great and fixed the cheese machine like a real pro she replies that it was Our George who was the real star of the day. Lee has seen the film he made of Tom and thought it looked great. When Susan says that in a few days they'll have their first grown-up grandchild, Lee lives up to her expectations and says she doesn't look old enough. His bill is six pounds and eight pence, and as he puts it on his card he asks if she has any plans for the evening; she has to pop up to Bridge Farm and collect a bag of George's stuff, and Lee says he is going there too: Helen has just sent him a mysterious text about a surprise waiting for him.

It's a treasure hunt, organised by Henry and Jack. They wanted to cheer him up because they know he misses his girls, and Jack decided that hiding his little gift would be more fun than just giving it to him. Helen is allowed to help, and has the first clue ready to give to him. It is in rhyme.

Brian is ringing Alice, and gets a message first but then tries again and is answered. He has been worrying about her since she left precipitately on Sunday, and both Adam and Kate have said she didn't return their calls. She claims to be busy at work, too busy to pop in to Blossom Hill Cottage on the way home, and refuses to make any concrete arrangement to see him.

It has taken Lee and Helen almost half an hour to do one clue, and the boys have got bored and cycled off, abandoning them. The next clue is as impenetrable as the first, and when Helen says she knows roughly where one of the final clues is hidden Lee initially disapproves of the idea of cheating, but when she points out that it will take them until well after dark, and then he can expect Jack, tired and cranky, her, tired and cranky... Lee capitulates without a further thought and agrees to cheat.

Alice does arrive to see Brian, who asks her about work; she describes it as a good distraction, and when he asks from what, says whatever fresh hell is thrown their way and then claims to be joking. She wants to know if he has spoken to Kate and Adam, about Sunday, about the will, and he says 'no, not really', and then simply 'no'. She wants to know how mum could do something like that, and whether he really didn't know about it, which he is firm that he didn't. She feels favouring one grandchild only is something Mum wouldn't do, it's weird, and it keeps going round and round in her head. Brian is getting somewhat alarmed even before she says it's not a thoughtful gift for Martha's future: it's insurance against her being an absent mother.

The last clue has Lee and Helen baffled, and Susan comes up to find out how they are doing, offers to have a look, and almost immediately works out the answer. She goes with them to see if she is right, and is there when Lee opens his present: a guide-book to San Francisco. Susan for some reason feels obliged to say she had got it into her head that it would be an engagement ring. Helen had no such thought and nor did Lee: he was expecting a bar of chocolate or one of Jack's painted stones. Susan, slightly embarrassed, says she had better be getting off: she'll see Helen tomorrow. Maybe then they can talk about that recognition Helen mentioned? Helen asks what she means, and Susan enquires whether it might be a pay-rise, recognition for the fact their job has completely changed? They are constantly on show, and she thinks it only fair she and Clarrie get a pay review. Helen was thinking more of a blog post saying what a good job they do in the dairy, but she hears what Susan is saying; they should pencil in a meeting at the end of the week. Remind me tomorrow, she says, to which Susan replies fervently that she will. After she has gone, Lee and Helen laugh over the engagement ring notion, and Lee says the book is the perfect treasure and gives Helen a kiss.

Alice has worked herself up into a state and is refusing comfort from Brian; the more he tries to get through to her, the more she argues against him. She is full of anxiety because she feels the bequest for Martha means that Jennifer didn't trust her, didn't think she was strong or was cured; the more Brian tells her Jennifer was proud of her, the less use it is. When he says it was a gesture for her youngest grand-daughter, Alice comes back with, 'that she left in trust – with Chris!' There's no other way to see it, Alice argues: she was afraid for Martha, and didn't trust Alice. Brian doesn't know what to say, and as he does his best to get through to her Alice bursts into tears, sobbing wildly as he helplessly says 'Come here, darling.'

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 5th April, 2023

Kate thinks she understands Jennifer's motivation, while Justin's is transparent.

Characters: Jolene, Harrison, Adam, Kate, Justin
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The Eurovision meeting at The Bull is about to get under way as soon as others than just Jolene and Harrison arrive; Fallon and Paul have sent regrets but ideas which shows they still want to be involved, as does Joy who can't make it either. They'll go upstairs as soon as Justin gets there; Harrison expresses surprise that Justin signed up to be on the committee, and Jolene admits she didn't think he had an altruistic bone in his body, to which Harrison replies that could be because he doesn't. Harrison has discovered that he has an ulterior motive: he wants to be made Borsetshire Business Angel of the Year, the award given to people in business who do saintly things for their community. Jolene is unsurprised but wants to know how Harrison found out: his superintendent is going to the Presentation Do and spotted Justin Elliott and Martyn Gibson on the list the nominees. Jolene immediately spots an opportunity to get more out of him: let's see how angelic he's prepared to be, she suggests.

To avoid Xander's bath-time Adam suggests that he and Kate take their drinks into the garden, which Kate thinks a good idea. Adam has been talking to Ian about the bequest to Martha; Adam still doesn't get it, but Ian thinks it would be a shame for them all to fall out over money. Kate starts out being resentful of the fact that Jennifer singled out one grandchild, with which Adam agrees, and says that if she's honest, she feels angry. Mum must have known it was a contentious thing to do, but she left no explanation. Adam points out that she did it without letting Brian know: maybe that was so he wouldn't challenge her. Kate can't see why the fifteen thousand couldn't have been three thousand to each of her five grandchildren; it could have made a lot of difference to Noluthando and Sipho. Adam is trying not to feel hurt on Xander's behalf, but Kate says it's impossible not to feel hurt; either she was being thoughtless, which doesn't seem like her, or she wanted to favour Alice. Adam has inside knowledge there, though, and says she seems even more upset than they are, to which Kate adds that Brian seems quite worried about her. Adam suggests they go out and hope fresh gives them a new perspective, but Kate just mutters gloomily that it makes you wonder what sort of random stuff Dad will do with his will.

After Justin arrives, a little late, Harrison and Jolene act on their plan and wind him up with ever-more outrageous suggestions about what is to happen at their Eurovision Extravaganza and about what is expected of him as a volunteer; he finally starts to crack over the costumes they suggest the judges will have to wear. Fallon has suggested the theme 'all the sparkles' and Jolene (who is having a hard time not bursting out laughing) gleefully says what she thinks each costume should be: Paul, fiery red dragon; Chelsea, silver fish; Joy, purple diva; Harrison, mermaid; Jolene, queen of hearts, and Justin, the glittery business angel. He suddenly realises what is going on.

Kate reckons it is hard not to see this as Mum favouring Alice, but then factors in them knowing Jennifer was worried about her, what with alcoholism and a new baby, to which Adam adds 'and the divorce'. Kate can't imagine how many sleepless nights having all that on her mind must have caused their mother. Adam muses that the change may have been about doing something concrete, in case? In case Alice started drinking again, says Kate starkly. Adam can see why Alice is upset! Kate thinks it's all so complicated, and Adam realises that Mum leaving the money in trust to Chris means Alice must see that as a double whammy. Light dawns on Kate, who suggests that actually, it's not that complicated if you see it from where Alice is standing: it's absolutely brutal. Kate realises that when she was at her most wild she would have been the one giving Jennifer sleepless nights; if Jennifer had changed her will when Kate first became a mum, it would have been Phoebe she'd have picked out. [Since Phoebe was her only grandchild at that point it would have been difficult for her to choose one of the other four! Chris] She and Lucas and Roy have proved themselves as parents, whereas Alice hasn't. Their children don't need Mum's protection. Adam works out that this means he and Ian should be happy Mum wasn't worrying about Xander. Leaving the money as she did was about Jennifer's need to do something, muses Kate, so they need to support Alice through this. They'll have to set aside their own feelings and accept it as a nice thing Mum did for Martha. Adam reckons they should be grateful if Mum didn't think their children will need the money.

Justin confesses: the Business Angel Award has become extremely important to him. Harrison thinks that it's brilliant Justin and Martyn and a load of other high profile businesspeople getting so het up about an award that they actually end up doing good. He's seen Justin in the shop. Jolene starts telling Justin how much she can see his enthusiasm for his rôle as a judge, and he makes a further confession: he can't stand Eurovision, and thought he was volunteering for a Coronation celebration committee. In theory he has nothing against the Eurovision song contest but he knows his limits. Jolene says they've had their fun and no-one is going to force him to stay, but as he is about to leave he asks for a signature saying he participated in the village Eurovision initiative so that he can show it to the award panel: without a third-party witness his volunteering won't count towards the award. Harrison points out that he didn't do anything and doesn't want to sign, and Jolene can't resist taking the piss some more, but Justin is serious: he has put in more hours, but Martyn Gibson has more variety. He begs Jolene and Harrison to sign, and they take the opportunity to touch him for a generous financial donation to the funds.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 6th April, 2023

Lee is anxious as usual, and for once George pushes his luck a little too far.

Characters: Lee, Pat, George, Chelsea, Helen, Susan
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

A shotgun blast turns out to have been Pat potting pigeons. Lee is surprised to see her with a gun; he is looking for Helen, who isn't in the dairy. Since he can't find her, he wants a quick word with Pat, first about Henry and Jack and then, as they go to look for Helen, about something else.

Chelsea is cutting George's hair, and clearly finds him objectionable, not surprisingly when he tells her he is only there because she is his cousin and she is cheap. When he adds that if he were not saving for his birthday night out he would have gone to a proper hairdresser she downs tools until he apologises. He then outlines their plans for his birthday night so she recommends a club, and he wonders whether they are big on checking for fake IDs; she points out he will be eighteen tomorrow, and he tells her his mate has made a fake ID for Brad, which outrages her. She asserts that Brad won't be going with them, to which George replies he wants to go along because he's desperate to pull; she is not convinced.

When Lee explains what is on his mind Pat is relieved it's nothing important; he tells her he didn't really think Helen wanted to get married again but he was afraid Helen might have been hurt when they laughed at the idea after Susan's faux pas. Pat laughs at him for his worries: Helen has never given her the slightest hint that she wants to marry Lee. He is slightly hurt and she hastens to reassure him: Helen likes him and wants to be with him, she just doesn't want marriage. He shouldn't let Susan Carter's ideas upset him: it's working for him and Helen and he should just enjoy it. Helen then arrives in a car with a cry of 'Hi you two!' and talk about the viewing window. Pat mentions having had enquiries about how Nova and Seren are, and Lee asks how they got on with the modelling; Pat doesn't know and has seen no pictures of the shoot, and Helen is not interested in asking. She is more concerned that it is soon going to be time to fetch Jack, who is making a scone-based pizza at his holiday club.

George continues to needle Chelsea about Brad and about her being boring, until he goes too far and suggests that in order to get him to behave more like them, he and his mates might spike Brad's drink. At this point Chelsea 'accidentally' cuts a large and very obvious swathe through his hair with the clippers, and claims to have slipped. He is furious and claims that he was only messing, but she is unrepentant; when he says he won't pay she tells him she doesn't want his money and he is to get out. If she finds out he has even gone near Brad's drink with anything she will tell Harrison.

In a panic George rings Susan, begging for help and claiming that Chelsea shaved part of his head with no provocation. She's totally ruined his birthday: he can't go out like this! Susan suggests he should come round and she'll see what she can do. She could always help when he was little; he shouldn't worry because Nana will always fix it.

Henry is not yet home, but Lee will message him. When Lee points out he has emptied the dish-washer, Helen replies that it was under duress and the penalty of part of his pocket-money being withheld, but he apparently has a creative idea of where cutlery lives. Meanwhile Evie has sent Lee a photo of her science project, a working model of the lungs, and Helen says she is so proud of her. [What exactly entitles Helen to be proud of a child that is not hers and which she has not brought up? Chris] Lee is just pleased they are messaging him. Henry replies to Lee's message and Helen says ruefully that he replies to Lee, whereas she has to practically declare him missing before he answers anything from her. He is at the skate-park and will be catching the next bus home, apparently. Helen goes into a fugue about them growing up so quickly, and Lee distracts her by telling her what he and Jack got up to before holiday club: he got Lee to help him line up the Marvel characters and graded them in order of strength, then size, then kindness. Helen thinks that was very sweet. He decided the kindest was Mantis, and Helen can't wait to pick him up and hug him.

Neil is out so Susan and George will be eating sausage and mash without him; Susan has sorted out a hairdresser who thinks she might be able to help with George's hair. It's the mobile hairdresser and she will fit him in as a special favour; George is dubious because she was at The Laurels, but Susan is firm that she does all ages, and that he needs to tell her how grateful he is because she doesn't usually work late. She made an exception because he is turning eighteen. George thanks Susan and tells her she's the best, and immediately reverts to boasting about what a great birthday night out it's going to be. At her request, he gives her a hug, and she tells him he's a good lad.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 7th April, 2023

Several mock shocks for George and Brad, and a real one for Helen.

Characters: George, Brad, Harrison, Susan, Helen,
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

As a diesel vehicle pulls away George shouts insults after it, and is quite rightly ignored. He thinks there should be a law against dumping people in the middle of nowhere, but Brad is not surprised they were chucked out of the taxi: George had started burning hash. The other lads have apparently been in town for an hour already; Brad offers to ring his mum and ask her for a lift, but George turns the idea down: she will ask awkward questions like 'why are they stranded outside Grey Gables'. [Which is a good question: Grey Gables is well off the road, on a drive past The Lodge which only otherwise goes to the Golf Club. No taxi would be going past it to get anywhere: that drive is a cul-de-sac. Chris] George decides to text Rex, and while waiting for an answer tries to lie about who did his hair, but Brad knows who actually did it and is not impressed by talk about 'a celebrity hairdresser'. Rex will be at least forty-five minutes, and George can't think what to do while they wait. [Walk the five hundred yards back to The Bull, perhaps? Chris] As they start to talk about the poltergeist in Room Thirteen, with George suggesting climbing over the fence and going ghost-hunting since it is dark, Harrison Burns turns up in his car (and is described as 'the feds' by George); however, he is easily fobbed off and drives away again wishing them a great night.

Susan has come round to discuss a pay-rise on account of the extra work and pressure the window is going to cause for her and Clarrie, and Helen is disconcerted at being challenged in this way, especially when Susan starts to generalise about the behaviour of employers. She takes the wind out of Susan's sails by agreeing with her and saying that she has had a look at the figures and thinks she can stretch to a small pay-rise for both of them.

At George's instigation, the trespassing pair has moved a bench under a window and George tells Brad he can get in now. Brad doesn't want to, even though George points out it's only plastic sheeting in the window, so they won't have to break glass; he is a very reluctant criminal, pointing out reasons not to break and enter. He has noticed that Harrison saw them there.

Once they are in, Brad thinks it's all rather beautiful without any people in it, but George can think of nothing better to do than shout 'hallo' repeatedly and then start messing about with ghostly voices, until there is a definite clattering which is nothing to do with either of them. Brad doesn't like it at all, but George just wants him to take a photo of George, or better yet a video of him running towards the camera. Brad wants to know if they can go once he has, since he thinks Rex might turn up any minute and wouldn't wait for them if they're not there; as George is insisting they have to go to Room Thirteen Brad sees a flash of light like a torch. George mocks at him about that as well, but there is a sudden cackling and both of them run for it.

Susan gives provisional approval to an updated job description, but is not prepared to commit herself for the future since they have no idea how busy it may get. Helen is thrilled that sales of ice-cream in the shop are up already; Susan thinks they might need another person working the dairy if it gets busier. They start to part with Susan telling Helen she is going to watch the last two episodes of a boxed set with Neil, and Helen talking about the boys camping out in the back garden. As they are about to go their separate ways Harrison's car arrives. Susan is alarmed, it being late, and George being out in Borchester; she fears something may have happened to him.

To the sound of the eerie barking of a fox, Brad and George pelt away from Grey Gables building down the road, having climbed out again over the fence. Brad is sure the unspecified 'they' will know it was him and George; the ever vain-glorious George thinks there is literally no reason why they should. Brad fears the possibility of CCTV, and thinks Chelsea was right and he should have stayed at home; George is already thinking about what the lads will say when they hear about it. Brad doesn't want him to talk about it to anyone, especially since George broke something, and wants him to delete the video off his phone. He wants to know how come George doesn't get it: trespassing, breaking and entering, they're looking young offenders. George continues to belittle his alarm, and is saved from further argument by the arrival of Rex in his taxi.

The greeting Harrison gets is Susan assuming he wants to talk to her, but he makes it clear it is Helen he wants to speak to, and Susan slowly and reluctantly goes off home. Harrison suggests Helen might want to sit down, which only alarms her; she assumes something has happened to one of her boys, or Mum and Dad, but Harrison assures her everyone's fine. He does have some difficult news, though; understandably she wants him just to tell her. It's Rob Titchener: he's back in the country. Helen absolutely denies that he can be, and instantly wants to be reassured that Harrison has checked and Henry and Jack are safe; Harrison tries to calm her in the face of her rising and shaking voice and assertion that she is terrified. Harrison doesn't know Rob the way she does, she says; she is certain that he will come back to Ambridge.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 9th April, 2023

Many people are patronising and Helen can't keep everything under control.

Characters: Mia, Justin, Jim, Lee, Helen, Tony, Pat
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Marina Caldarone
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The Bull is redolent of the smell of hot cross buns made by Wayne; Jim and Mia take their existence at face value, while Justin assumes they are to lure in punters and points out you can get them all year round so they don't just mark Easter. Jim drags in Dr Johnson writing of 'cross buns' for Good Friday breakfast. Justin sees them being available all year round as a missed marketing opportunity, which irritates both Jim and Mia. He has to be off, and Jim reminds him that he is meant to be at the shop for Bank Holiday opening tomorrow. After he is gone Mia wants a chat with Jim about the Brookfield charging station.

Lee wants to tell Pat and Tony about Rob's possible reappearance, but Helen says there is no need and forbids it. They will only be worried, and she has a prohibited steps order in place: Rob can't come anywhere near, he can't see Jack and he can't get in touch. She says they were wrong to worry when Blake turned up, and Lee says that time they were wrong, this time they may not be. She argues that this time they have CCTV, and Harrison is on the case; she doesn't want everyone's lives disrupted by this man. When Lee says he just means they should stay alert she pounces on that and says yes, the two of them: they don't need anyone else. They can manage this themselves; Lee wonders whether they can.

What Mia wanted to do was to tell Jim that she admires his standing up for what he believes in, but inform him that he is wrong in what he is standing up for, and will be on the wrong side of history. He very sensibly [and with remarkable patience. Chris] makes his points about a charging station at Brookfield being badly sited and ill-thought-through, while she totally fails to listen to or apparently understand anything he says and goes on about charging stations saving the planet. She then becomes insulting about him wanting to preserve the character of 'his little corner' while the rest of 'us' pay the price. She finally warns him she is not letting it happen: he and his protest are standing in the way of the common good and she is going to do what she can to stop him. He thanks her courteously for the warning, so she tells him she is an expert protester and knows the ropes; he finally loses patience and asks her how she feels about being shoulder to shoulder with the fat cats and profiteers like Justin Elliott. She repeats the name as if she never heard it before, then asks if it is Justin Elliott behind the charging scheme; Jim tries to backtrack and say he was merely giving an example of the type, telling her it would be better all round if she forgot all about it.

After lunch at Bridge Farm Lee is chatting with Pat and Tony, about the Easter service on Lakey Hill; Tony quizzes him about whether Helen is all right, since she seemed rather quiet at lunch. Neither Tony nor Pat will accept Lee's repeated assurances that she is fine, and insist that he should speak to her, or they should have a word; after some very disproportionately third-degree questioning it becomes reasonably clear he can't convince them there is nothing wrong with Helen. [Come to think of it, nobody could, since there very definitely is – though perhaps not in the ways they mean... Chris]

Mia is working at The Stables when Justin drives up; after a misunderstanding about her possibly planning to lecture him about destroying the planet, she takes the opportunity to offer him her support over the charging station and tout her experience as a protester. After telling him that he seems quite a bright bloke (an echo of patronising words he used to her earlier at The Bull), she suggests to him that he might come to need her help: she can mobilise if he ever needs support. He thanks her, and she says he knows where to find her.

It is clear that Lee has spilt the beans, and Tony is urging Helen to come and talk to them about things while Pat tells her it is different this time and they know what to look for. She more-or-less patiently tells them in effect to mind their own business and not worry about it. She is determined that she doesn't want everyone knowing, which is just going to start a panic: neither Gran nor Tom needs to know. Tony reluctantly agrees, if she is sure about that, and is relieved that she has heard nothing from Rob. Pat decides to make coffees and unsubtly need Tony's help to do it, leaving Helen and Lee alone so that Helen can tear Lee off a strip: the one thing she asked him not to do, she says in an icy voice, and accepts no excuse for his disobeying an order from her: wasn't it clear enough? When he says he couldn't have stood there saying nothing when Pat and Tony started making things up, she tells him that he could have invented some reason for her to be being worried. He ends up apologising but asserting that Pat and Tony are entitled to know, and actually, worrying about people you love is part of the deal. She says furiously that she wanted to control this situation and now she can't: Lee has taken that away from her. He tells her that he made a conscious decision to tell her parents, after thinking about them and about her; he didn't just jump in. Surprisingly, she apologises and admits she shouldn't take it out on him and says she just doesn't want to put them through it again, everything that happened before. When he asks if she is all right she says yes, and don't worry: she can cope with this. Tony is right: Rob hasn't tried to contact her, and there is absolutely no evidence he is planning anything.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 10th April, 2023

Helen's confidante seems sincere; we know Oliver's is not.

Characters: Justin, Jim, George, Oliver, Natasha, Helen
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Marina Caldarone
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Jim has been doing the Bank Holiday shift in the shop alone, Justin having found other more important things to do, and is not best pleased about it. Quite failing to realise that he has offended, and indeed not being there to help even now, Justin asks Jim to write him a reference for the Borsetshire Business Angel of the Year Award saying that he has worked unpaid at the village shop as an act of service. He would have asked Susan, but thought Jim might be a touch more articulate and persuasive. Jim asks him to leave the form with him.

When George catches up with Oliver he tries to butter him up about the guiding work he is doing at Lower Loxley Hall, but Oliver is not particularly cheered, and when George says he seems a bit down explains that there was a break-in at Grey Gables on Friday and both the memorial bench for Caroline and the tree planted in her memory were damaged by the intruders. George feigns outrage at the 'pig' who did it and at what Oliver describes as 'desecration'; he advises him to put it behind him, get the bench fixed up and not give the scumbags another thought.

Natasha has come to drop something over at the office for Pat, and in spite of Helen being very busy stops for a chat and asks her if she is all right. Helen says she would be perfectly fine if people would just let her handle this herself and goes into a rant about people assuming she will fall apart, which baffles Natasha, who had no idea Rob was around. When Natasha says she doesn't know what Helen is talking about, the wind is completely taken out of Helen's sails. She therefore tells Natasha what has happened, claiming that she is managing: she has applied for a non-molestation order. Natasha prods her for more information, claiming she would need a little friendly reassurance if it was her, and gets the whole story out of her in double-quick time – not that there seems much reluctance to confide in her. Helen had an email this morning from Jess, his first wife, wanting to see her on Thursday.

The shop is now shut, so when Justin called there Jim was not available and he has had to come and find him at Greenacres, where Jim is washing his Riley. The form is in the house, not yet filled in, and Jim shows no sign whatever of treating it with the least urgency. However, he claims to be keen to play his small part, and knows that this is important; he will have it ready for Justin tomorrow morning at the shop.

Helen is sure that hearing Rob is in the country on Friday and getting an email from Jess on Monday can't be a coincidence; she assures Natasha that she trusts Jess, who wouldn't do anything to harm her: Jess isn't the problem. She just can't trust anything to do with Rob Titchener, who manipulates people who aren't even aware he's doing it. Natasha encourages her to go and see Jess but to take a friend, and volunteers herself for the position. Helen doesn't know what to say; 'say, Thank You, Natasha, and then say Yes," instructs her sister-in-law.

Oliver is now sitting in Clarrie's pergola at Grange Farm, and George has come to find him again; he wants to suggest that rather than employing a professional bench-fixer, Oliver might let him mend it. It's the least he can do in the circumstances, he says, which baffles Oliver: he asks what circumstances, and George mentions the start-up fund. Oliver is not terribly willing but is eventually persuaded. George has restored some of his faith in human nature, when he compares his actions with those ... 'Scumbags?' suggests George. Scumbags, agrees Oliver, but goes on to say they may yet face the consequences of what they've done: Adil has decided to call in the police. The perpetrators have clumsily left all sorts of traces the police can follow up. 'Sweet,' mutters George.

George then rings Brad to warn him to say nothing to the police, fill him in about the story he is to tell, and warn him never, ever to grass on a mate.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 11th April, 2023

Various chickens come home to roost.

Characters: Brad, Harrison, Tracy, Justin, Jim, Adil
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Marina Caldarone
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Pester-power doesn't work on people younger than yourself; George keeps ringing Brad to repeat his instructions and threats, and Brad is fed up with it. He feels sick when he thinks about Oliver's bench and would rather own up. Immediately after he has rung off Harrison comes in wanting a quick word, and Tracy assures him that Brad will be as helpful as he can. Brad denies having heard about the break-in and Grey Gables, but Tracy contradicts him and says he has; Brad continues to deny having seen anything after Harrison drove by on Friday night, and says that he can't really remember. Harrison reckons in that case the best thing is to get the pair of them back to the station, and since Brad is under eighteen he will need someone with him during the interview, and Tracy agrees to go along: she says they just want to get to the bottom of it – don't they, Brad?

Need for his form is causing Justin also to pester, in his case Jim, and Jim is deliberately obfuscatory; this time he has left the filled in form at home. He does however promise to deliver it to the venue before the deadline of one o'clock, by hand.

At 'the station' Harrison reminds Brad that he is under caution, then questions him. He mentions having seen him at Grey Gables, and there being CCTV there which the police could check. [Which of course they would not do in the four days before dragging a sixteen-year-old in for questioning. Right. Chris.] He wonders why they were dropped off there, and Brad is unable to explain the taxi-driver's behaviour except to say one of them started rolling a fag and he pitched them out. Harrison wonders whether it was tobacco and Brad says he doesn't know. Then when asked whether they saw anyone else, Brad talks of shadowy figures hanging about by the fence, and it becomes clearer and clearer that he is lying; Tracy wants to know whose idea it was, and Harrison says he is going to take a break and make a cup of tea.

The Borsetshire Business Angel of the Year Award is in a glitzier venue that Adil had expected, and Justin talks up the importance of the occasion. Adil says he must be leading the field, and Justin complacently agrees that he was, but he has been let down by Jim Lloyd, who is a clever man but has the organisational skills of a garden snail. Adil wishes him good luck, and he goes to check the place-settings just before Jim arrives. When Jim asks whether Adil is jostling for an award himself, he says it's not really his sort of thing; he is only there to represent the company. Jim tells him that he is himself there to see Justin Elliott, and when Adil says ah, another endorsement form, complains that Justin has been sweeping through the village like Mother Teresa. Adil tells him that Justin has just swept into the dining-room, and Jim doesn't follow him, saying that he still has a minute or two and asking Adil what he would rather be doing. When Adil says he'd prefer to be at home with a good book, and when Jim rather forbiddingly suggests The Art of the Deal Adil laughs and says no, a biography of Graham Greene. [I wonder whose, and also whether Adil has read 'A Sort Of Life', Greene's memoir. Chris.] Adil reckons Greene would have watched the award ceremony with interest, whereas he has to invent games to play in order not to be bored; at the moment it's posh car bingo: you get points every time someone manages to let you know what car they drive. Double points if they mention 'my other car', suggests Jim, which tickles Adil; Jim then mentions that he drives a vintage Riley, presumably to get Adil off to a good start, but then has to go to catch Justin.

It's not so much Jim catching Justin as Justin hurrying up to Jim wanting the form, which Jim gives to him with the suggestion that he ought to read it before handing it over to the judges or he might regret it. When Justin does, he is horrified: Jim has described him as 'a devious and manipulative presence' and mentioned 'an entirely spurious concern for the public', and when Justin expresses his outrage Jim makes it clear that he knows exactly what Justin has been up to with Damara. Justin tears up the form, but Jim smugly tells him that was a copy, and he can take the original to the judges himself. He is totally unimpressed by Justin's bluster, and tells Justin he will just have to brace himself, unless... Unless what? demands Justin.

At the police station Harrison is pressing Brad hard, asking for all sorts of details, to which Brad mostly replies he can't remember. Eventually he says it was more than four days ago: why doesn't Harrison ask George? Harrison says that's enough and they are done; Tracy can have a word with Brad if she likes, but he is going down the corridor to do what Brad suggests: talk to George Grundy and see if his story matches.

Adil is confused because Justin has withdrawn from the award. Jim remarks that it was something of a puzzle, and Adil wonders whether his arm was being twisted, which Justin denies. When asked why by Adil, he comes out with sententious guff about the real pleasure you get from doing your bit for the community being in the help itself, not in some bauble: good luck to Martyn Gibson! Adil appears to be deceived; Jim clearly is not. He says it was very self-effacing, as was resigning from the shop, which does surprise Adil, who thought Justin enjoyed that. After more flannel from Justin, Adil tells him that he is an example to them all.

In the interview room Tracy does her best to get Brad to tell the truth and get out of the mess as best he can, and is sure it is George who is behind it, but before she manages to make an impression on Brad Harrison returns and tells them George has owned up to everything, a quite different story from that told by Brad. Brad doesn't believe George said all that, then goes silent before admitting it is what happened, to Tracy's exasperation. Brad desperately says the bench was an accident and they never meant to break it, but Tracy and Harrison say he should never have lied, and Harrison points out that whereas George has told them the truth, Brad has lied about it under caution, which is much more serious.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 12th April, 2023

Alice has no idea what she wants, and Oliver decides not to do what is not in his power.

Characters: Alice, Brian, Oliver, Tracy, Chris
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Marina Caldarone
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Alice is trying to get Brian to understand how hard everything is for her; he says rather wearily that he does understand, they've been through it often enough, but she insists on telling him that it makes her feel shaky, and his quite reasonably saying that it needn't, and that she has said herself that the will can't change, cuts no ice with her. She requires his absolute attention while she talks at him: an email to Stella can wait. Resignedly, he offers her five minutes, and she reverts to telling him what she has already said:the will makes her feel insecure, she can't help that. To her incredulity Brian says that actually, he thinks she can: she is torturing herself with this. Unfortunately he tries to reason with her, and she goes off on an accusatory tack and puts words of blame for her into his mouth. The nub of the matter appears to be that Alice has convinced herself that Jennifer was expecting her to fail. Brian thinks perhaps she should respect her mother's wishes, and move on.

In The Bull Oliver is telling Tracy about the cherry tree with Caroline's ashes buried among its roots, and explaining that he intended it to mean both love, the Chinese meaning, and transience as it does in Japan. Tracy says it's a lovely spot, and Oliver sadly tells her that George and her Brad ripped branches off the tree as well as breaking the bench. It may not have been deliberate, but they obviously didn't care, and to him it looks as if they were out to trample all over Caroline's memory. Tracy is horrified and unhappy, and says they didn't stop to think but they never meant any harm, but Oliver says the end result is the same: something precious has been destroyed. He does believe her when she says she can't tell him how sorry she is about all this, but points out it isn't really her who has to say she is sorry. He adds that even if Brad does say he is sorry as Tracy is certain he will, Oliver may not be able to forgive him.

Chris is at work when Alice comes to him and tells him Brian is not prepared to listen about Jennifer's will. Chris doesn't believe that Brian told her to get over it, and she admits those were not his actual words, but continues to air her grievance and also to try to pick a quarrel with Chris as well when he is not absolutely supportive of her view of the matter. When he suggests sharing the money out she is quick to say that won't work and belittle his thought. Then she tells him that the money isn't the problem, it's that the will actually signals to the whole family that Jennifer was setting the money aside in case Alice starts to drink again. Jennifer not trusting her is what it is really about. Quite what she expects him (or anyone) to do about this she cannot seem to articulate, though her grievance is reasonably clear. It's enough to drive anyone to drink, she says, and then when Chris protests at her choice of words tells him it was a joke.

It seems that Oliver can now guess what Tracy has come to see him about. She's had a call from Harrison. Emma has been to see him too, and she too had a call. Harrison has told them that the police are not taking any further action, and it's now up to Oliver whether or not to press charges. [This is not how it works: it would be up to Oliver if he wanted to take out a civil case, but it is never up to the victim of a crime whether or not the police/CPS press charges. If it were, the courts would collapse under the weight of unwinnable cases. Chris.] He doesn't know what he is going to do. She hasn't come to press him to make a decision: she just wants to say something about Brad, that he will never do anything like that again. Oliver takes leave to doubt that: he doesn't think it likely, but after Friday he isn't inclined to take anything for granted any more. He has said to Emma what he now tells Tracy: that he will think about it, and decide later today. She pleads for Brad, saying that he is without malice, but Oliver is not inclined to give way in thinking that there may be an obligation to press charges and see Brad is properly punished. Tracy says she wouldn't blame him; she's only asking him to think about what she said, and Oliver promises that he will, and he'll let her know as soon as he has made his decision.

Chris has come to see Brian, and they have a conversation about how it feels being on your own again and how one might not find pillow-cases for weeks, with Brian adding comments about Kate and Alice coming round, tidying up and moving things; Chris asks whether he moves them back after his daughters have gone, and Brian says, 'Of course.' Eventually, after a bit of bereavement-bonding, Chris comes to the point: he saw Alice this morning and she was a bit upset. It's not so much the money, he explains; it's the feeling she's not being trusted. Jennifer did what she thought best, but it's what it's doing to Alice. Brian insists they can't change the will, and Chris agrees but says he thinks they should keep an eye on her and see that she stays on track. Maybe if they all work together, including Adam and Kate, they can come up with a plan. Brian thinks that's a good idea, and when Chris says it's probably only a wobble but if they're all aware of it... We can help pull her through, agrees Brian.

When Oliver comes over to 6, The Green, Brad is out, and Oliver says that he can't hide away: he'll have to see him some time. Has Tracy told Brad that? No, she tells him, and he immediately says he'd rather she didn't: he doesn't want her sending her son round to say sorry. If he comes, it has to be his own decision, not because he's been sent. Tracy thinks that means Oliver will press charges if Brad doesn't come to see him off his own bat; she's getting a bad feeling about this. Oliver assures her he has already made his mind up. He isn't entirely sure he is doing the right thing, but the decision is no; he's decided not to press charges.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 13th April, 2023

Everyone is sorry, very sorry, except perhaps for anyone who ought to be.

Characters: Chris, Adam, Ian, Helen, Natasha, Jess
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Marina Caldarone
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Chris is trying to explain Alice's problem to Adam and Ian, who are initially understanding; Ian says wills always make things difficult, Adam wants to know whose advice Jennifer had taken [as though she were incapable of independent thought. Chris] and they all agree that it is not about the money. Chris says he wondered about dividing it equally among all the grandchildren, which appeals to Adam and Ian, but tells them Alice said it isn't his money and he can't give it away. They ponder this and try to think of ways round it, but unfortunately Ian says something Adam is able to take as a slur on Jennifer and then follows it up by saying that giving Martha an advantage could also be seen as disadvantaging Xander, which leads to all three talking loudly and simultaneously so the listener will have little or no idea what is being said by any of them. Eventually Ian says 'sorry' and suggests he should put the kettle on.

Jess has arranged to meet Helen at The Golden Pheasant, just the other side of Denton Grange, so Helen and Natasha are driving there. Helen has not told Jess that Natasha is coming, and Tom doesn't know she is either, which Helen thinks a good thing. He has taken the girls to the safari park [which they will really enjoy, now they are nine months old. Chris] since it is quieter on the farm today. Helen is very grateful to Natasha, who asks how she is feeling; Helen thought she'd be all right, but... Natasha assures her she'll be fine. It has occurred to Helen she is doing this before she has the court order in place, and well, all the old feelings have come creeping back. Natasha says she can turn round right now, or they can go somewhere else, but having been offered this 'out' Helen of course insists on going on: she has to know. Natasha reassures her that she will be there, and Helen calls her 'my safety-net.' When asked about Jess, she tells Natasha they don't have much in common apart from Him, but Jess testified for her at her trial and saved her life. Natasha feels that this means Jess broke Rob's hold over her, to which Helen agrees Jess now thinks he's a monster.

Tea has been brought, and Ian apologises for going too far, Adam says he didn't mean to suggest Alice wasn't stable, and Chris asserts that he was a bit too quick off the mark; they all start playing the old apology game in which each person blames himself a little more than the last, and they end up saying 'sorry' simultaneously.

By a twist of fate, Helen now says 'I'm sorry' to Jess for not having mentioned Natasha, explaining that it isn't because of Jess, just that she gets nervous about any link to Him. They agree that it is nothing to do with sense or reason, more of a feeling in the pit of your stomach. Jess tells Helen she is lucky to have someone who'll come with her, and when asked how she is says she is OK, still doing a bit of work for Social Services, part time; most of her time is spent looking after Ethan, who is doing fine. Just as she asks how Helen is, Natasha comes back with their drinks and then offers to go and sit at another table so they can be private, but Jess doesn't mind her presence so she stays, promising she will just sit there and not say a word. Helen diffidently suggests they should get to the point. Jess says it didn't feel right to tell her in a message, and she really was driving up to see a friend, and goes on at such length about why that Helen has to ask her again what it is she wanted to say. When Jess says that Rob's back in the country it's a definite anti-climax, and Helen tells her the police already let her know. Natasha butts in to tell her about the non-molestation order, and Jess apologises for having dragged them all the way out there. Natasha, rather sharply, asks whether that is it, all she can tell them, and Jess explains she thought Helen would be devastated and had to see her face to face, which Helen says was very considerate. Natasha asks whether Jess knows why Rob is here, and when Jess says yes asks whether he has told her: is she actually in touch with him? No, Jess insists; she heard from a friend down in Hampshire who is on a village Facebook group and saw that his mother had died, and that's why he's come back: for the funeral. [And she knows this how? Rob's doings won't have been on the Facebook group. Chris.]

Back at the Fathers' Union meeting Chris is suggesting that what Jennifer put in her will is a kind of tribute to Adam and Ian: she had faith in them. This leads to another outbreak of careful explaining from each man about not meaning to give offence, followed by praise of Jennifer as having treated all her grandchildren the same; she would have been so sorry to see them squabbling about her will when all she wanted was to make things work out well for everyone, the whole family. The family is why he came round in the first place, reveals Chris: family support. Alice needs a bit of support right now, to keep her on track and stop her spiralling out of control. Adam asks whether she is losing confidence in herself and Chris thinks maybe she is; Ian suggests that she needs something to occupy her (as well as The Stables and a two-year-old child): a hobby, something where you can just lose yourself. [Orienteering, then? Gus.] Chris says 'bell-ringing' as if this were a revelation from On High, and says it's obvious when you think about it: they could always use more ringers. It's perfect. Adam is incredulous.

On the way home, Natasha says she reckons there has been no-one in Jess's life since Rob; she was kind of nervous, not with them but in general, like the shyness you see in some kids: is it all right if I have a drink now, should I take my shoes off, little moments of uncertainty. Helen isn't interested in that and simply wants to think about what Jess had to tell them: it's sort of reassuring that he's come for a funeral... Natasha says that of course it's reassuring, it's a proper reason for his being here and nothing to do with Helen. Helen is reluctant to accept that, and Natasha tells her to believe in it: she'll get her non-molestation order tomorrow, but that is going to be belt and braces now. He'll be at the funeral in Hampshire and then he'll go back to wherever: Helen has to believe it! Helen laughs and assures her that she will.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 14th April, 2023

Contrition from Brad, confession from Pat, and neither from Natasha nor George.

Characters: Tom, Natasha, Brad, Oliver, George, Pat
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Marina Caldarone
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The trip to the safari park was a great success and the twins enjoyed it, according to Tom; they loved watching the other kids playing, and they loved the animals. Natasha mentions the client absolutely loving the shoot last week, and Tom's response is decidedly lukewarm, but she says she thought he would like to know and she doesn't like keeping things from him. Like where she was yesterday, which she proceeds to tell him.

Brad has sought out Oliver in order to apologise to him, and a very grudging Oliver gives him a hard time, asking whether Tracy sent him and how he knew where he was. Bewildered, Brad says that no, it was his own idea to come, and explains that he rang Grey Gables and Roy said Oliver wasn't in, so Brad looked for him at Grange Farm. [This is completely mad. Why would Oliver be at a building site? Why would Roy be at one? Come to that why would there even be a phone there? Chris.] Oliver says he has been waiting for Brad all week and knows why he has come but is not going to make it easy for him. What does he want? Oliver drags thanks for not pressing charges, and an apology, out of Brad, who also says he isn't trying to share responsibility and what he did was wrong: he's not talking about George, he came to say sorry for himself and what he did. He doesn't need to speak for George, who has already been to see Oliver; Oliver thinks that was brave, and contrasts it with Brad having taken so long to come and see him. Oliver then goes on to ask him if he knows what they did, and how Oliver felt when he saw what they had done; Brad doesn't, and is told to try. He says he keeps thinking about it and wishes it had never happened, but he can't do anything about it now. He is clearly sorry and wants to make up for what he did, which Oliver says he can't do, but suggests he could ask George if he wants help trying to fix the bench. Brad says he will. Oliver says that it pains him to discover that someone he thought cared about people was behind this: Brad can only repeat how sorry he is, and Oliver asks if he will shake his hand on that. A handshake, to show that he's sorry and that Oliver will give him another chance.

The revelation of what Helen and Natasha did has sent Tom into a furious state of disbelief: he thinks that what they did was incredibly stupid. He can see what might have happened if Rob had been there, and no amount of Natasha saying 'but it didn't' cuts any ice. And they told nobody, so nobody knew what they were up to. Natasha somewhat patronisingly tells him to calm down, which fails to calm him; he says he shouldn't be surprised, since she has done this sort of thing before when she and Kirsty went looking for Blake. He does not agree that Helen needed support: she needs to stay well clear. What if it triggers her? He tells Natasha that she has lied to him, and didn't even tell him Rob was back in the country, and being told that Helen asked her not to doesn't make it better: Helen was wrong. When Natasha asks if they ought not to attend to what Helen wants, he says no: they tried that before, when she was living with Rob, and look how that turned out! Natasha can't believe he is saying that, blaming Helen for what happened to her. Tom denies blaming Helen but says that people should be told about this so they can be prepared. They are going to have to let Mum and Dad know. That they do, and he is the last to be told, sends him out slamming the door. [And neither of the two sleeping nine-month-olds woke up during the whole row. Remarkable. Chris.]

When Brad goes to offer help to George he is turned down: George claims he promised Oliver it would be all his own work, and if it is Oliver will reinstate his birthday present start-up money. Brad is horrified that is all he is bothered about: doesn't he care what they did? George says it was only larking about, and it was both of them: the bench was collateral damage. Even if it was their fault he'd be mad to let a chance like this slip by, and he doesn't intend to share the credit for the repair. Brad can't believe it: breaking in was George's idea in the first place. George tells him that's the way of the world and it's too late crying over it: you just have to suck it up. Brad says he lied to Harrison as George told him, and George changed his story and left him in the muck. George clearly doesn't care, telling him it can't be helped, things move on and you have to move with them. [Tempora mutantur? Really, George? Gus.] The outraged Brad has had enough of him creeping round Oliver just to see what he can get out of him: he's done with following George around. From now on, he goes his own way.

When Tom asks Pat when they were planning to tell him that Rob was around again he gets a 'calm down' from her too, and again it doesn't work. She tells him that it is Helen's decision when to let people know, which infuriates him further. He says [rightly. Chris] that they need to know so they can do something about it, and when he is told that Helen is applying for a non-molestation order reckons, sarcastically, that will be a shed-load of help. Then he tells Pat what Natasha and Helen were doing yesterday, which she didn't know.

Oliver seems unimpressed by what George has achieved so far in the bench-mending line, and reminds him of the deal: if he is not satisfied with the result, he will call in a professional. George agrees, and says he will hand over and Oliver won't pay him a thing apart from basic material costs. Then Oliver asks where Brad is, and George is surprised; when Oliver says Brad was going to offer to help, George asks if that was what he said, then hints that Brad said something he doesn't want to divulge and tells Oliver that Brad looked in but never did a stroke of work: don't hold it against him, he's still basically a kid. He then says that Brad is desperate to be noticed, and that he feels sorry for him, which is why he invited him out last Friday, and of course he really regrets that now.

Surprisingly, Pat now thinks Tom is right: it could have been dangerous going to see Jess. But he is wrong about them not being ready. They're never going to be fooled by that man again. She tells Tom that she would be prepared, personally. She's thought about it, over the past few years, during sleepless nights. If Rob came back now she'd be prepared, in her darkest hours she honestly believes, she would be prepared to do anything to stop him. She sees herself holding the gun; he's done that to her, she'd take his life. His life to save Helen's: she'd be prepared to do that.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 16th April, 2023

Helen is angry with Pat: lying is her job, after all.

Characters: Tony, Jim, Jazzer, Helen, Pat, Lee
Credited scriptwriter:
Paul Brodrick
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Her sons are planning a treasure hunt for Helen's birthday, so Tony has been sent to the shop to buy prizes for it. Tony has been told by Lilian that Justin has stopped volunteering in the shop and tries to discover why, since she is a little worried about him, but Jim is giving nothing away and suggests that Justin may shed some light for her. In return, Jim canvasses for his support over the charging station, but is disappointed: Tony has considered both sides of the matter but is definitely leaning in its favour. As Tony leaves, Jazzer comes into the shop in response to Jim having asked for an emergency meeting about his stag-night.

It's been a lovely birthday so far, according to Helen, and there will be trifle as well as cake; the boys are upstairs writing the clues for her treasure hunt. Pat asks about a flickering outside light and the CCTV; Helen points out that Lee has been over the security and checked it all, and tells her to stop worrying. Helen is feeling better now she knows why He is in the country and that he will soon go back to America; Pat prefers to be cautious, but capitulates in the face of both Lee and Helen saying everything will be fine and anyway there is nothing more they can do. Lee suggests that Pat should go and fetch the boys so that they can eat and then go and look for the treasure, and when she goes to do that asks Helen if she needs a hug. Helen says yes, please, but adds she is OK and Mum's just a bit anxious; Lee hopes that won't make her anxious. Tony gets back just in time for Pat to come back down in a panic: she can't find Jack, and Henry thinks he has gone outside with one of the clues.

Jazzer was looking forward to a good pub-crawl, but Jim wants to complicate it with a check-list for each pub: ambience, cleanliness, state of the beer and so forth. He feels that they this way they will be able to tot up the scores and decide which is the best pub rather than trying to remember through a fug of beer. Jazzer is not looking forward to seeing Ed the following night: it's this thing with Brad and George. Tracy is in a tizz about it: she's grounded Brad and is fuming with George. Jim opines that what they did was reckless and hurtful, and Oliver was extremely upset, but Jazzer reckons Brad only did it because George pushed him, and, when Jim argues that doesn't make what Brad any less culpable, says that George is a jail-sentence waiting to happen. Brad is not like that; he's quiet, and just now too quiet: he's gone right back into his shell. Jim asks what's happened, and Jazzer explains about the interview with Harrison, with Brad having been threatened by George to make him lie; so Brad denied everything and then George owned up and told Harrison the truth (Oh, no! interjects Jim), so that Brad now looks like the liar. And Brad is upset about what's happened to Oliver, too. Jazzer really feels for the kid. As a step-father would, says Jim, before pointing out that Ed is in the same relationship to George. Jazzer doesn't know about that, but feels that nothing seems to bother George, and wants to know how he can go out and be pally with Ed when his boy has done that to Jazzer's? When Jim says he can see that might be an issue, Jazzer tells him it's more than an issue: he can't do it.

Not being able to find Jack straight away was solved at once by Tony, who went immediately to Jack's favourite hiding place behind the shed; Helen thinks it was lovely seeing the boys being so normal, but feels it was more of a strain for the adults. Lee points out that Pat managed to hide how worried she was in front of the boys, but he thinks she was quite shaken: Helen says Pat was there and saw what That Man did to Helen. She can't tell Lee how much it helps having him with her. But they should go inside now and have some of the lovely tea he's made for her. As they turn back to the house Pat comes out and tells them she and Tony have decided to invite the whole family to come and stay at Bridge Farm as they did before. Helen doesn't want to, and when Pat says they'd be much safer with more people around them insists that they are not moving to Bridge Farm: if they move out their life stops being normal, and she won't let Him do that to them. When Pat says he's done that already she denies it: she is in control of this, and the boys need a normal life in their own home. Lee backs her up, and then Tony calls them all to come in. Pat tries again to persuade them to come, just until they know Rob is gone, and Helen absolutely refuses the invitation.

The shop is being closed early; Jim is very concerned about the situation between Jazzer and Ed. [What these two statements of his had to do with each other, who knows? Chris.] Jazzer says it can't be helped, but Jim thinks that it can. They have a stag do and a wedding coming up, and they can't have Jazzer and his best man at odds with each other. Jazzer thinks he should stick to Jim, as was his original plan, but Jim is having none of it: Ed is one of Jazzer's oldest friends and means a lot to him, and when Jazzer says Brad and Tracy do now says he knows that. Just leave it to him. The three of them are going to have a lot of fun tomorrow night, and by the end of it he guarantees that Jazzer and Ed will be the best of friends.

The situation after the treasure hunt at Bridge Farm deteriorates badly when Helen says she is sorry and doesn't want to upset Pat, but moving to Bridge Farm isn't right no matter what she and Dad think, and Tony doesn't know what she means. When it is explained to him he says he and Pat have never discussed that, and when Pat starts to argue her case says that what he said was that it would be up to Helen and Lee. It's not Pat's decision. Pat desperately tries to get them to see how she feels, postulating more and more possible disasters, with the result that Tony tries to stop her, Helen becomes angry, and Lee shouts at her that she must stop, now. She says that somebody has to say it and Lee says that they don't: they are not stupid and they will protect their boys their way. Pat says he doesn't know what he is talking about because he didn't know Rob, and Helen snaps: of course they are afraid, but they are doing their best to control it, and there is Pat, winding them up, pretending that Dad's on her side, and he's not: she is on her own. Helen thinks they should go. Tony tells Pat that Helen is right and they should give her and Lee some space. After Pat and Tony leave the room, Lee apologises to Helen for snapping at her Mum, but Helen doesn't blame him: she deserved it. The front door shuts and she turns to Lee, saying despairingly that she wishes she had never met Him and that He'd never been part of her life. She hates Him so much.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 17th April, 2023

Exes are in the air.

Characters: Jim, Ed, Jazzer, Ian, Lee, Dennis
Credited scriptwriter:
Paul Brodrick
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The stag-night test run is about to begin, with Jim providing the first halves of the bitter at a pub called The Crown Inn. As well as thinking the whole exercise decidedly strange, Ed and Jazzer are initially very wary with each other despite all Jim can do in the way of bonhomie. He feels that the Borsetshire Meadow beer is only worth a two out of ten, with an aftertaste of burnt rubber; both the younger men agree with him about that. The ambience and cleanliness also leave a lot to be desired, and they decide The Crown is definitely one to miss off the list of possible venues, drink up and leave.

It seems that someone from a genealogy website by the name of Erin has got in touch with Adam about Paddy Redmond, and they are going to talk to each other tomorrow. Lee finds the whole story of Adam's quest and the old love-letter exciting, and says 'wow' a bit, but he has actually sought out Ian in order to ask him about Rob Titchener. He manages to do so without revealing why he wants to find out about him right now, and Ian suggests that rather than talk about Rob immediately he will take Xander home for Adam to put to bed, and he and Lee can then have a drink and a chat in a quiet corner of the beer garden at The Bull.

At the next pub, Jim has got Jazzer talking about the nonsense-Scots poem he recited at Lynda's New Year's Eve party, of which the first line was 'The cruickie scunner has nae thrapple' (he is mercifully unable to remember the rest, though he has it written down somewhere), and remembering it and other what Jim calls 'japes' they shared gets Ed and Jazzer being more civil to each other. They even laugh over some of the sillier things they did together back when they were younger. At Jim's prompting they speak of their time together in Fallon's band Dross, and Ed muses that they were very different people then. Jazzer goes to get in another round and check out the gents for marking on the card.

Lee is asking questions of Ian and being given a slightly biased but on the whole accurate account of Rob Titchener's character and how he treated Helen. Ian is a bit uncomfortable remembering how he just somehow detached Helen from everybody she loved, and the little things Rob did to isolate her and make her feel small and worthless; Lee is rather uncomfortable hearing about it. When Ian talks about hiding her keys or purse and then blaming her when she couldn't find them, Lee is reminded that Helen has spoken of gaslighting. Ian says that he lost her [by having a blazing row with her and calling her a 'piece of work', not speaking to her again thereafter. Chris], and Kirsty lost her [mostly by not being in Ambridge while most of this was going on, to be fair. Chris]; it was frightening. Lee says this is all outside his experience. Ian says Rob was a manipulative narcissist by all accounts. He's the only man who's ever made Ian turn to violence, which surprises Lee, who wants to know what happened and is told about Ian punching Rob after he'd been riled up by him. Lee can't imagine Ian doing that, and Ian says it's just an example of how Rob could get under your skin, but it was nothing compared to what he did to Helen. Lee wishes he could have been there for her, but Ian assures him he is doing a great job being here for her now.

On his way back to the other two Jazzer has struck up acquaintance at the bar with someone called Dennis, who is wearing a Birmingham City football shirt of which Jazzer makes fun; Jazzer himself of course supports Celtic, but they get on very well in spite of that, having the same appalling sense of humour. Jazzer speaks of his stag do and having two best men; Dennis offers himself as another, and Jazzer invites him over to meet his competition.

During Jazzer's absence Jim has got Ed to talk about George and Brad's trouble with the law and with Oliver; Ed sympathises with Brad being low about it, but they were in it together and Emma is as upset as Tracy. Jim asks how he feels, and Ed admits that George drives him up the wall, but he was a lad once himself; if you pinned him down, he'd say he was worse than George. So far. And Jazzer? asks Jim. They broke the mould with that one, replies Ed, whereupon Jim says that in that case, this really shouldn't get in the way of their friendship. As Ed is agreeing, Jazzer arrives with his new pal, Dennis, whom he describes as 'part of the ambience'. Dennis asks how they are liking The Fox and Hounds, and when Jim and Ed agree it scores highly on several counts, Jazzer says it is definitely a contender, though Jim feels they have not necessarily finished the exercise. Dennis asks whether they have ever been to The Seven Stars in Netherbourne, and speaks highly of it, inviting them along to a darts night there on Thursday; Jim asks whether Jazzer would be able to cover that one. He agrees to and asks whether Ed would like to join him, but unfortunately Ed is working late on Thursday and can't go along. Soon afterwards Dennis takes his leave, saying he only came in for a quick half and that he will see Jazzer on Thursday.

Ian tells Lee that Rob completely undermined Helen's self-confidence, which looking at her now Lee finds hard to believe; Ian assures him that only her amazing inner strength got her through and out the other side. Lee reckons it must have been so hard for Pat and Tony too, and when Ian gives examples of the hard time Rob gave them Lee muses that it isn't surprising they are afraid of Rob. Ian isn't sure afraid is exactly the word he'd use, and Lee very nearly lets the cat out of the bag by saying that's how Pat came across yesterday, but manages to retrieve his slip by saying that the subject of Rob came up. Ian's worry is that Jack is Rob's son, and Lee explains that was how Pat got to Helen yesterday; not on purpose, he hastily adds, but it made him so angry because that's the last thing Helen needs. Ian says that from where he's standing, Helen has been able to move on and she seems in a good place now; I do hope so, agrees Lee fervently.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 18th April, 2023

Goats, a dog, an apology, an invitation and a disappointment.

Characters: Adam, Ian, Ben, Sykesy, Pat, Tony, Erin
Credited scriptwriter:
Paul Brodrick
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The conversation with Lee has of course been shared with Adam, and he is glad Lee has now messaged Ian and seems to be 'in a better place' after a long talk with Helen last night. Adam is waiting to hear from Erin, though it's early yet. He is very nervous, wondering whether she really is going to call, but is sure it isn't a scam. Ian goes out leaving him waiting for her call, saying he will collect Xander from nursery later and wishing Adam good luck.

At The Laurels Ben is indulging in what is probably called 'chaff' with Sykesy, whom he manages to persuade to come down to the lounge later when he brings Bess in.

Pat and Tony are still somewhat at odds; Pat has not seen Helen, whom Tony describes as having been 'normal, busy' when he came across her, but when Pat hopes she isn't avoiding her he tells his wife that she might be and it might be best to let things lie: Sunday was quite upsetting for her and Lee. Pat reluctantly agrees, and he counsels her that since they both have plenty to do they should just get on with it, which is what he is doing. Pat reverts to a grievance: she doesn't understand why the police haven't questioned That Man yet; Tony doesn't know, but Pat continues to wonder angrily why they can't just go to his parents' house. Tony doesn't know that either, but points out that it's a seven year old case and hardly a police priority; he's sure they will hear something in the next few days. [Why on earth will they, when Helen told the police she had no interest in pressing charges against Rob? And what exactly are they meant to be 'questioning' him about anyway? Chris.] Helen is in the dairy and Pat doesn't know whether to go in or not; Tony implores her not to go in there and start banging on about Titchener, and when she objects to the phrase 'banging on' says she should be trusting Helen and Lee and swallowing her pride. She is seriously put out by this, and when Tony says that Helen is not alone any more but has Lee in her life now, says she didn't like the way Lee spoke to her. Tony doesn't blame Lee for getting cross: she had overstepped the mark. When Pat angrily continues to argue that Helen and Lee are too close to the situation to be able to judge it he says no, they simply don't agree with her, and she must allow them to do that. 'You never know, love: you might even be wrong,' he suggests.

The residents of The Laurels have had Bess shown off and explained to them, ending with her doing some tricks such as 'roll over' (which causes oohs and laughter), 'eights' (to more applause) and 'speak'. Ben boasts that she has now won her first rosette at a trial last year. The tea trolley than arrives and Ben says that anyone with more questions or wanting to interact with Bess during their tea should feel free just to shout.

It's time for Ian to prepare the evening meal at Honeysuckle Cottage; he is proposing to make a stir-fry with what is left over from the vegetable box. Xander is back from nursery and playing unsupervised elsewhere, and Adam is still waiting for his call. Erin sent a text to say that something had come up, so she may not ring until rather later, and Ian suggests he could go and play with Xander to distract himself, but as he is hauling himself to his feet his phone chimes. Erin has called: the first thing she says is that she is his half sister, which he describes as 'amazing'.

To the sound of bleating [the usual indicator that he is in the vicinity. Gus. (Bah. Chris.)], Tony comes and finds Pat, asking her how things are in goat-world. He says he is sorry about earlier, and she says that she is too; he says crossly that Titchener is having his effect on them, and that it's only because she loves them that Pat wants them close; Pat admits ruefully that all she has ended up doing is pushing them away. Tony tries to comfort her by telling her that Helen is dealing with it well on her own terms, but she still needs her mum and dad. Pat knows, and that is why she is going to go and apologise.

It then turns out that rather than having just been casual labour as Jill seems to have thought he was when he worked at Brookfield, Sykesy kept working dogs: a lot of them over the years, his most recent having been called Flynn, a border collie like Bess. Ben tactfully says Sykesy must miss him, but it turns out he was long gone by the time Sykesy moved to The Laurels. As Sykesy turns to go back off upstairs [his independent mobility is a great improvement from how he was when we first heard him, unable to move from bed to chair without help. Chris] Ben invites him to come over to Brookfield if he can arrange it, but Sykesy thinks not: it would only remind him what he's lost. Ben argues that he would love all their livestock and tractors and everything, and seeing how it has changed since he was last there, and at the offer of a cuppa in the farmhouse kitchen if he behaves, Sykesy capitulates and agrees to come.

Adam and Erin are chatting about not having known each other existed, and places where they might have met; they get on well. She hasn't yet told anyone else about him, because she wanted to be completely sure first, which he understands. She works in retail, sales, and he tells her about being a farmer and having a pizza van, and having a little son. He asks if she still has family in Ireland and she says 'a few' without elaboration, then mentions that she is thirty-five, which sounds quite young to Adam. Then he asks about her parents, and she says her mother stayed where she was her whole life, but the thing is, as for Paddy, he passed. This takes a moment for Adam to take in: he's so sorry. She's sad that he never got to meet his father, and then when he asks how long ago Paddy died drops a bombshell: it was only two weeks ago. She's really sorry: Adam has just missed him.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 19th April, 2023

Adam is surprisingly happy; Freddie unsurprisingly is not.

Characters: Freddie, Elizabeth, Adam, Ian, David, Ruth, Ben
Credited scriptwriter:
Paul Brodrick
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

In the Lower Loxley Hall office Elizabeth is busy working and not in the least interested in talking to Freddie about the trustees' meeting which seems to be going on somewhere on the premises. He is waiting to find out what they decide about the painting, and is treated to a dismissive set of comments. She claims that the reaction to a reworded explanatory notice under it have been positive, then undermines this assertion by telling him there haven't been any complaints so far. He says he can't see why he can't go into the meeting and talk to them himself, and she tells him it doesn't work like that and changes the subject to David, Ruth and Ben coming over to supper to celebrate her birthday a couple of days early.

Adam seems to be taking his father having died very well, possibly because he has discovered a sister. Ian is glad he doesn't regret getting in touch with Erin.

Calving is more than half-way through, and David reports a successful birth to Ruth. They agree that they both love calving. Ruth remarks that Ben looks happy and wonders if he has remembered they are going out tonight. When reminded of it, he says that luckily some B&B people have cancelled so he won't have to stay in to look after them. He mentions Sykesy and having invited him to come over; David and Ruth are happy with the idea. Rather than taking Bess out again he is going to replenish the stocks for the B&B; after he has left on this errand, David tells Ruth that he is starting to think they might just have got the old Ben back again.

As expected by Elizabeth, the trustees won't let them sell the painting. Freddie thinks them stupid and short-sighted, and being addressed as if he were about six and beseeched to try not to be too disappointed, darling, merely seems to drive him into a ten-year-old snit about it: his voice rises and his arguments sound more and more like whining. She claims to understand his frustration, which he clearly doubts she does, and thinks they should actively encourage the guides to engage their visitors in discussion: that's something he can do. He can train up the guides. He wants to know what good that will do, and she says it might be a revelation to some of their visitors. He describes this as just giving in to the trustees, and Elizabeth, still speaking as adult to prepubescent, tells him that one day he will realise that as well as caring for his home he is running a business and one of the most important abilities he will need is to be able to take set-backs in his stride and move on. This is a set-back [she says, forgetting that it is in fact what she wanted. Chris] but in deciding not to let them sell the picture the trustees are guarding his inheritance. He bursts out that he doesn't want it in his inheritance, and it's not a family portrait anyway; and isn't having principles important too? She tells him he can't afford to get too emotional about these things, and his angry reaction makes her point for her very nicely.

Ian has come over to Bridge Farm to pick up some Borsetshire Blue for an event in Heybury tomorrow and stops to chat with Adam: has he heard any more from Erin? Yes, they've exchanged a few messages and agreed they are looking forward to meeting each other. Ian asks about the rest of the family, but it turns out she's an only child – which seems to relieve Ian. Adam has asked her if she'd like to meet up in Ambridge, but she has no plans to come over just yet, though she's keen on seeing where Paddy used to live [from March 1965 until June 1967. What is it about having been in Ambridge for a couple of years that makes someone an old-established Ambridge resident/family? Chris] and though they haven't fixed a date Adam hopes it might be soon. Ian suggests they could go over to Ireland, which he would love to do: it's been a while.

Supper is finished and Elizabeth is being thanked; Freddie is still fed up and rather silent. Elizabeth tells the company to ignore him: it's the trustees' decision again. When he answers her criticism she says 'not now' and tells him he has talked about it enough. Ruth starts to talk about Sykesy's impending visit, and the others join in and discuss him; Freddie gets up and goes out, saying he needs some fresh air. Elizabeth says that he refuses to take on board anything she is saying and it's exhausting; David can see that it's a tricky issue. Ben offers to go and see if he can cheer Freddie up but is over-ruled by Elizabeth, and in the end David follows him instead.

Outside, he finds Freddie and sits down beside him, though Freddie is not particularly welcoming. After some gentle probing from David the root of Freddie's unhappiness comes out: Elizabeth thinks she understands, but she really doesn't get where he is coming from. David suggests he could try not being to hard on her, but Freddie is now wound up [though not talking like a child; perhaps being talked to as an adult has a good effect. Chris] and just says he doesn't think he is being. David admits that parents don't always get things right, but that doesn't mean they aren't doing their best: if she is not budging about the painting, that must mean she really believes what she's doing is right. Freddie appreciates the point, and says Elizabeth is wonderful and has often helped him, but that this time she is wrong. She basically told him he is too emotional, and that's a problem for her. He has first-hand knowledge of what he is talking about: Blake. David is somewhat enlightened; he had never even thought of that day at Grey Gables. Freddie explains that the thing is, the people who bought that painting were his ancestors, and were proud to show off a portrait of a man who bought and sold human beings. Mum is not related to them, but Freddie is, and his howevermanyeth great grandfather thought the bloke in that picture was terrific, and hung it in pride of place, but Freddie doesn't: he's seen what slavery does to people. To him, the idea of keeping that picture and having to see it every day is completely unbearable. David does understand that, and offers to have a word with Elizabeth.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 20th April, 2023

A bad penny turns up, and old woes are rehashed.

Characters: Tracy, Jazzer, Den, Helen, Pat
Credited scriptwriter:
Paul Brodrick
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The Seven Stars in Netherborne really impresses Tracy, who tells Jazzer that his mate has good taste and if it's as good as it looks they could book stag, hen and wedding reception there: they might get a discount. She is really grateful to Jazzer for her night out, though they are limiting themselves to two pints each: it will help her forget George's iniquities and Brad's unhappiness, which she then proceeds to talk about. She goes to fetch her coat from where she has left it by the bar, and in her absence Dennis arrives and greets Jazzer. His darts match is with the Hop Pole in Darrington, but before it starts he is there to sell the pub to Jazzer. The moment Tracy gets back she and Jazzer's friend recognise each other: 'Is this a wind-up?' asks Den, and Tracy tells Jazzer it is Chelsea and Brad's dad, in the flesh.

Pat has take some biscuits over to Beechwood Estate for Helen and Lee, and she and Helen chat quite amiably together. Helen has a birthday card for Elizabeth which she has not yet delivered, and Pat warns her to be careful what she says to Freddie: he and Elizabeth have crossed swords over something. Pat is in full grovel about having thought she knew what to do about Rob, and Helen agrees with her that she was wrong; she should have trusted them, says Pat, and Helen tells her kindly that she was only trying to help them. She is sorry that any of them are having to think of him, and it's horrible to think of the hold he had over them. Pat tells her how unhappy she and Tony were about barely being allowed to see Henry, but after a little dwelling on the past Helen pulls herself together and asserts that is why wherever he is he shall never get back into their lives like that again.

In the face of fury from Tracy, Den tries to defend himself, saying that he never saw Jazzer before the other night and it is just a weird coincidence; certainly weird, agrees Tracy, but she knows the sort of thing he gets up to. She should, seeing they were together for ten years, he mentions. She wants to leave, and while Jazzer hastily finishes his pint Den continues to extol the pub: yes, replies Tracy, it's nice, but using somewhere he had found for them would be even weirder. Den suggests that they could at least stay and watch the darts match, but Jazzer tells him not to be funny, Tracy tells Jazzer to leave it, and they go.

Helen and Pat are continuing to chat along about a picnic in the orchard with Seren and Nova, who saw a chaffinch singing; Pat quotes Browning on the subject. Helen invites Pat and Tony to supper, but Pat has something in the oven for them and must get home. They are briefly rude about Ursula and have a laugh about her; Helen says that if they don't take the Titcheners seriously they can't hurt them so much. Pat apologises for having mentioned them, and Helen hopes that soon they won't have to think about them again. Pat thinks that would be wonderful but perhaps they shouldn't get too far ahead of themselves; Helen is quite happy to get ahead of herself as sometimes it's the best place to be. They then have a few minutes of praise for Lee and how the boys, and Helen, love him, and Helen says he faces with 'his own sort of quiet courage' being unhappy because Helen is so upset.

After getting away and going home, Tracy is still a bit shaken and Jazzer apologises for getting her into that. She didn't connect 'Dennis' with Den: he has never called himself Dennis. When Jazzer asks if she reckons it was all deliberate, though, she scoffs at the idea because Den is not clever enough, and anyway what would be the point? As they are about to see what's on the telly, Tracy gets a message from Den, who is just down the road and wants her to go and talk with him, saying it's really important. Jazzer inquires whether he is stalking her, but she says no. Jazzer suggests just leaving him sitting there, but she wants to know what he wants to talk about, and goes to find out what the numpty's got to say.

The numpty seems apologetic about possibly having their wedding plans, which he doesn't want to have done, and says that Jazzer seems a good bloke and is the right person for Tracy. What he has come to do is talk about his own introspection on reaching the age of fifty, and wanting to have a new start as Dennis. He says his life hasn't amounted to much (Tracy agrees) and that Tracy and the kids have been the best thing about it, especially Chelsea and Brad; he knows he hasn't done right by them, and Tracy doesn't disagree with him: they barely know who he is. He admits he wasn't all that great with Brad when he saw him, and Tracy tells him that Brad was really upset by him, which he tries to excuse by saying that his head was in the wrong place. He wants to make it up to him, he wants things to be different from now on; oh yeah? mutters Tracy. He can't make up for all the lost years, but he can do something about the ones to come. He offers his help with whatever is wrong for Brad and Chelsea, which Tracy is at first very reluctant to take at face value; he should have been saying this ten years ago, and she thinks he is too late: she's heard it all before. He goes on pleading for this one chance and he will prove to them that he's a different person, and although Tracy mocks him as 'super Dennis' she eventually tells him that it's not up to her, it's up to them. If it were her it would be easy, but she will talk to them. She can't promise any more than that. He seems to reach out for her and she tells him sharply not even to think of touching her; he apologises, and she gets out of his car saying that she will let him know how it goes.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 21st April, 2023

Brad has a change of mind and Helen has a flash-back.

Characters: Helen, Tracy, Lee, Chelsea, Brad
Credited scriptwriter:
Paul Brodrick
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Outside the shop, Helen and Tracy collide; there is much blame-claiming and it's clear neither was looking where she was going, since each was worrying about her men-folk. Tracy says Susan loves the new dairy window, and Helen that she has to go, then as Tracy goes on her way gets a phone call from Lee to tell her apologetically he won't be home till seven even though he's supposed to be cooking. She tells him it will be fine in spite of her needing to talk to one of their suppliers.

The Eurovision organising committee [no, not the one in Liverpool! Chris] now has Chelsea on it instead of Justin, but Brad's congratulations to her are lukewarm at best, and he disputes that liking to watch it makes her an expert. He is more concerned about Tracy having told them she wants to talk to them, and sounding serious; Chelsea is sure she has done nothing wrong, and Brad can't have because he is grounded. She advises him to stop hanging round with George, and he tells her he wishes George had deleted that video he made him do; his voice is on it. She can't see the problem, since he is already known to have been there, but he just hates the idea that George will be showing it to all his mates and laughing over it. She then harks back to Mum sounding serious; it can't take long, whatever it is, because Chelsea is going out with Tara tonight. Tracy then comes in and demands their attention: nothing is wrong, but she is serious. She tells them that she met Den and he says now he is fifty he's turning over a new leaf; he wants to get to know them. It's entirely up to them if they want to meet him or not: Tracy is not going to push them either way. Even though she doesn't want to have anything much to do with him herself, she wouldn't stand in their way if they want to. Chelsea instantly says she wants nothing to do with him, and after a bit of stammering Brad agrees that would be better. Tracy asks if he's sure, and he says yes, a hundred per cent.

The paella Helen made for supper was delicious and Lee is full of congratulations to her. The boys have settled for the night [12-y-o Henry is got rid of sent to bed at the same time as 6-y-o Jack, it seems. Chris] and the adults discuss the long two weeks they have had, and thank each other for help getting through it. Helen says she is OK now, though she wasn't at first, and is glad they've made up with Mum. She suddenly starts to laugh about a customer they had at the viewing window earlier, who looked like Basil Fawlty and wanted to come in 'to talk to the ladies'.

When Tracy asks him it seems that Brad is not OK really; he is worrying about George and how upset Oliver was, and feeling guilty. George was high: he lit a spliff in the taxi, and that was why they got chucked out. George didn't tell Harrison that though, did he. Brad didn't have any, nor any drink. Tracy wants to know what they thought they were going to do in there, and Brad says that it was all George, who thought it was funny; Tracy tells him he ought to stop beating himself up about it and learn from it instead. He agrees that she's right, and he will. He's still grounded, though: Tracy wants him where she can see him. But she can tell there is something else, and Brad eventually admits it's his dad; Tracy tells him he doesn't have to decide at once, and then all about how she and Den came to meet each other again, and Brad wonders if she thinks he really wants to see them. She says that's what he said, but she'll be honest: she doesn't trust him an inch even though it looked as if he meant it. He drove over specially to ask her. [She actually said 'came over', but Brad seems to have known intuitively that this meant 'to Ambridge' rather than 'in the pub'. Chris.] The important thing, though, is whether they want to see him. Brad doesn't know, especially after last time, and as Tracy is talking with him about it and telling him that whatever he decides she will support, her phone tings with a message: Jolene wants her to go in to work early. Before she actually leaves, Brad says he has decided: he thinks he does want to see Den. Tracy says she'll get in touch and let him know. He thanks her, and she says that whatever happens he has her: she's going nowhere. [Apart from the Bull, right now, presumably. Chris.] Chelsea then bursts in complaining that Tara can't make it, Tracy sets out for work, and Chelsea says she'll stay in with Brad if he likes. He tells her that he has told Mum he wants to meet Dad, which she argues against, telling him to be careful: he doesn't remember how awful it was for Tracy, but she does, and it was bad. And he has hardly spoken to them for years. Brad doesn't have to put himself through this. He explains that he has heard Susan talking about Adam Macy's real father having died before he found him, so he was too late. It made Brad think; he just wants to give Den another chance, and him a chance to know what Den's like. She understands, and says she will come with him: there's no way she's letting him meet Dad on his own. They're going to stick together on this.

At Beechwood Helen and Lee are chatting together about their forthcoming trip to the USA and what they might do there, with Helen mocking Lee for his ignorance of American geography. He says that he can't wait to go away with her, and moves in for a kiss; she suddenly panics, saying 'no, Lee, don't, sorry, I can't!' and frightening him: 'What's the matter? Did I...?' he exclaims anxiously. She tells him it's not him and not to worry, but as he tries to find out what's wrong while she hyperventilates, she manages to pull herself together enough to suggest they should have another look at the map almost as if nothing had happened.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

[Gus wanted the header to be 'Helen is a prick-tease and so was this episode.']

Sunday 23rd April, 2023

Harrison is a broken reed and Chris is a source of comfort.

Characters: Harrison, Pat, Alice, Susan, Chris, Paul
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald-Hughes
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Even though it is Sunday Pat has come to see Harrison, who is listening to Eurovisioncast and having some hot cross buns. He offers her a bun and talks about the Eurovision event he is helping to organise, but she has no real interest in either. He explains what is being planned, that each contestant or group is allocated a country and has to come up with an act related to that country: singing, dancing, cooking or whatever they like. She says politely that it sounds a lot of fun, but it has all passed her by because they have had other things on their mind [sic. Chris] recently. He understands, and asks whether they have heard anything from the police down in Hampshire; they haven't. That is why she is there: she wondered if he had; it's awful waiting like this. He's sorry: he emailed last week but has had no reply. He'll chase it up and let her know what they say. She thanks him, apologises for just turning up, then suddenly loses her composure and talks about sitting there terrified. Harrison tries to calm her, and she goes on to say that Helen is really frightened, though she doesn't show it on the surface. It would help so much if someone would let them know what is happening. She then launches into accusation of the police for not caring, and, when Harrison tries to excuse them, verbally attacks both them and Rob, shouting about 'you lot' protecting Rob. Harrison's response is to offer her a cup of tea.

Alice has brought Martha for Susan to look after while Alice has a go at bell-ringing. Alice asks after Brad, having been told about his brush with the law, and Susan thinks Tracy is being hard on him and makes excuses for his lying to the police. Chris then comes in and tells them that as Neil has been called in to work, he will be tutoring Alice, as well as making the bad bell-ringing puns. They go off together.

Harrison is trying his best to calm Pat's concerns, talking about the non-molestation order Helen has, and the Protection Order for Jack; Pat claims she wouldn't say it to Helen but cannot see what use those would be if Rob decided to do something against either of them. Harrison says that would be a criminal offence and the police could act immediately. Pat is somewhat mollified, especially when he says he will get onto Hampshire and try to find out more. He wishes there were more he could do; she says he has been great, letting her sound off when her family is too worried for her to feel it would be fair on them. He says that speaking not as a policeman but as a friend, she is welcome any time.

Somewhat as expected, Alice turns out to be a natural at bell-ringing and she and Chris are clearly having a good time and getting on well. They remember previous bell-ringing occasions, and she wonders whether she could come and watch them do the quarter peal for the coronation. She tells him that it has really taken her mind off everything, and he says you can do bell-ringing and think about anything else; she thanks him and says she hasn't thought about anything else for the past hour, and bell-ringing ought to be marketed as therapy.

Paul is rushing to the shop for some wine to go with supper when he runs into Susan; she is taking Martha to the park [where's that to then, in Ambridge? Chris], though the child is asleep and she thinks she might just go home and have a cuppa instead. Harrison then comes over and is told by Paul about great news regarding the Eurovision extravaganza; neither of them has heard from Justin, but Paul has got hold of a load of flags and decorations for the village hall from Craft and Spangle, who had decorations at three for two and he went a bit mad. He wonders what is up with Justin: has he still not paid up? He hasn't, and they can do with the cash he promised. Susan remarks that promises don't mean much to the likes of Justin Elliott, and when Paul asks whether she thinks he might not give them the money says darkly that it wouldn't be the first time. [Presumably his no longer doing shifts at the shop has upset her. Chris.] Paul is taken aback, but Harrison thinks Justin has probably just been busy and forgotten about it.

Later Susan waves Martha goodbye and she and Chris are left together; she describes Alice as almost radiant when she came back from the bell-ringing, and Chris agrees that it's the first time he's seen her smile since Jennifer died. She has been having a bad time, with the will and everything, and he's been worried about her. Susan asks if he means she might crack, and he says no, but if anything was going to drive you to drink all that would do it. She's been really strong: she's amazing, when you think about it. Susan agrees but warns him to be careful: any fool can see he's still got feelings for her. Chris says of course he has, they were together a long time and she is the mother of his child, but that's not what Susan is talking about; when he says they are friends and co-parents and of course he cares about her, Susan asks pointedly whether that is all. Yes, Chris says, it is.

Paul describes Justin as a snake, and Harrison says that he did say something about cash-flow but also that the way they treated him was nothing short of blackmail; Paul is outraged, but Harrison tells him that without Justin's money they can't afford to go ahead. Paul cannot accept this, and is not prepared to admit defeat and try again next year; he's bought all this stuff! Harrison says that short of a fairy godmother they have little choice, but that reminds Paul about a fairy godmother he may have found: someone he met in the village shop who was very keen to help with advice about the show. She gave him her phone number and he'll get onto her at once: he enthuses about her and Harrison realises he is talking about Lynda Snell. He warns Paul she can be a bit full-on, but Paul says that's great and full-on is exactly what they need. In spite of Harrison saying darkly that he doesn't know Lynda Snell, Paul cannot be stopped: trust him, who needs Justin Elliott when they've got Lynda Snell?

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 24th April, 2023

Stella swithers, and Paul is decided.

Characters: Lynda, Harrison, Paul, Stella, Adam
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald-Hughes
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The alternative plan put forward by Lynda for 'a celebratory European event that brings our community together' seems to be a cheese afternoon, with the contestants providing cheeses from the country they have chosen. When she has finished explaining this, there is a short silence followed by Paul saying 'guess the cheese' rather blankly. Harrison remarks in a conciliatory way that he supposes a cheese and wine party could be rather fun, but Lynda instantly vetoes the idea of wine on cost grounds. When she asks what they think Harrison is non-committal, and Paul comments that he likes cheese as much as the next person, more if we're taking Big Zuu's Baked Camembert, but a cheese afternoon sans wine – isn't it a bit ... boring? Harrison whistles, and Lynda takes umbrage at the word boring. Paul says no offence, but people are expecting an all-singing, all-dancing Eurotastic extravaganza, and he's sorry, but he's not sure 'guess the cheese' is going to cut it. Lynda sniffs.

At the farm shop, Adam is buying fillet steak for Ian to use in a Beef Wellington on Thursday for Brian and Alice, when he encounters Stella, and they talk for a while about Adam and Ian trying to look after Brian without him realising. She asks about Erin and enthuses about the idea of her and Adam meeting: you can't have too many siblings. Adam remarks that there have been times over the years when he would have happily traded Kate [no, he didn't say for what. Chris], which makes Stella laugh. She tells him she ought to be seeing all her siblings next month, at her sister Lila's wedding, but it is in Florence and she can't really take the time off. She hasn't even asked Brian for leave; it's a busy time of year and there is nobody she could ask to do all the work there, not with Brian still off. It would be asking him to cover, and that wouldn't be fair. Adam is horrified and offers to take her for coffee before the shop closes to see whether they can come up with any ideas.

The Eurotastic Committee, in this case Paul and Harrison with added Lynda, are beating their brains for ideas, and Paul suggests going with the variety show idea, but smaller and cheaper. Lynda points out that they have no budget at all, and they cannot be all-singing and all-dancing without financial backing. Unfortunately it is rather late in the day to raise alternative funds, and they don't want to run the risk of it being a damp squib. Paul agrees but says he reckons they could manage without the sound system, and he's already bought all the decoration, so that's sorted. Harrison shies away from the idea of Paul spending all that money, but Paul is happy to gift a bit of sparkle to the village; anyway, he can probably use some of it himself later. Lynda is clearly impressed by this, and says a scaled-down version might be achievable; what do they need as a bare minimum? Harrison starts with the hire of the hall, for which Lynda says she might be able to call in a favour; Paul puts in the cake as a centrepiece, which Lynda rapidly converts to being many cakes contributed by all and sundry; Paul adds a big screen, because it would be a bit rubbish if they all had to gather round a tablet, and Lynda's simple solution there is to borrow the one from The Bull [which obviously won't be in use for showing the Eurovision Song Contest there. Chris], since Jolene is on the committee. Lynda first suggests that everyone should be allowed to choose their country, then undertakes to make sure they don't all choose the same one. Leave it with her, she says smugly.

Stella has had no time off since Christmas, even at weekends, and Adam says she will burn herself out. She agrees with a sigh, but says she has no choice. Someone has to keep the farm going, and she's glad she can be there for Brian. She will have a holiday, when Brian's back. Adam is very firm that she ought to go to her sister's wedding, and starts to knock down her objections: for instance, he and Ian would love to look after Weaver, because it will be a trial run for getting Xander a dog. She should go and see Brian about it, now.

Paul has caught up with Lynda, who tells him she has good news: she has talked to Jolene, who has happily contributed the use of The Bull's big screen; also Lynda has drawn up a chalkboard so that people can sign up for countries, which Jolene has agreed to supervise. Paul is full of admiration, and when she says good night asks whether she fancies staying for a drink: they could brainstorm some ideas. She doesn't think that will be necessary, since everything seems to be in hand, and he says that he and Harrison were talking after she left and he hopes he didn't offend her. He's kicking himself: her cheese idea was really great, just maybe not quite the vibe they were going for. Lynda is not offended: she suggested cheese, he preferred cheesy, and actually, she found it rather refreshing to encounter someone with the nerve to directly disagree with her. She thinks it better not to pussy-foot around, but instead to be direct. Paul assures her she can rely on him for that, and they part on friendly terms.

To the surprise of both Stella and Adam, Brian immediately said she ought to take leave to go to her sister's wedding. She has come round to Honeysuckle Cottage to tell Adam about the fact that Brian told her that life is too short to miss these important family events. She can't wait; she hopes Adam was serious about looking after Weaver, which he assures her he was. She told Brian she would take a few days for the wedding , and he told her to take the full two weeks and have a holiday in Florence. Adam is delighted: a proper break, she must make the most of it. She is happy about the time with her family, but worried about Brian, and the farm. Brian is still grieving, and she's not sure he's ready to come back to work.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 25th April, 2023

Stella stirs, Susan is a weathervane and Den gets nowhere.

Characters: Susan, Chelsea, Stella, Den, Brad, Lilian, Kenton
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald-Hughes
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

In the shop, Susan sells Chelsea some gum for sixty-five pence and remarks that she thought Brad was still grounded, but he is waiting outside; Chelsea explains they are going to meet Den, which alarms Susan. Whilst she is warning Chelsea against her father, then asking her to sign the petition against the charging station, Stella comes in and interrupts, then extols the virtue and necessity of the plans, at which she has looked, and it is fairly clear that Susan can't have done, when what Stella says in its favour seems to come as a surprise to her. It seems that it will be more like a barn than anything, with cedar cladding and corrugated iron and thus in keeping with the village; it will even have a grass roof. Susan is outraged: if Justin Elliott thinks he can pop a grass roof on top and that makes everything OK, well he can't! [When did she discover it is Justin Elliott's scheme? As far as I know that is not common knowledge. Chris] Ambridge will vanish under concrete and posh electric cars. Stella points out that it is not in the village but on the other side of Hollowtree [and not on a road at all, then? Chris]. It will be for locals too: those without driveways do need to charge their cars as well; Chelsea agrees that electric cars are better than petrol, and while Susan is being indignant and asking whose side she is on anyway ('the environment's', says Chelsea) Stella sweeps on: the idea is that it will be a real community hub, with a shop, a coffee place, a hair salon, nail bar... At this last Chelsea becomes excited, but has to go to get her lift, saying she might just read up more about it before she signs Susan's petition. Piously, Stella says she's right: best to assess the information before reacting, doesn't Susan think? Susan is sure it's not yet a done deal; Jim has written to their MP and asked for a meeting with the developers. Justin needs to learn he is not the boss of the village.

It seems there are free lemonade refills at the place where Den is treating his children to lunch. He tries hard to be jolly, but Brad is completely non-communicative and Chelsea abrasive. She asks what Den wants, and he says he has recently turned fifty and suddenly realised he had been a pretty terrible dad, and what he'd like to do is get to know them.

Both Susan and Lilian have been left in the lurch by their men, and Lilian tries hard to be friendly in the face of Susan's active hostility about Justin. She offers to buy her a drink, and just as Susan has agreed to have one, Kenton comes over and tries to sell them his special coronation cocktails. Neither is interested; they have g&ts, but Susan says at least someone is doing something to mark the coronation. Lilian congratulates Kenton, and Susan says everyone has gone Eurovision mad and seems to have forgotten they're crowning a new king. The bell-ringing is mentioned by Lilian, and Susan says there is also a picnic on the village green, but that's it. This gives Lilian the opportunity to speak of Justin's plan to put on a light show, lighting up an Ambridge landmark to celebrate. He doesn't know which yet, and Susan says he wants to get on with it: the coronation is less than two weeks away. She also wants to know what is in it for Justin, and when Lilian indignantly says 'nothing', Kenton pops up with their drinks and says he will believe that when he sees it.

Having a conversation with Brad and Chelsea is being uphill work for Den: they don't respond to his overtures with any enthusiasm, as he clearly hoped they might. When he asks Chelsea what she has been up to she says 'college, working, had a termination last year and that was a laugh', which understandably throws him somewhat. Brad, who is getting on with eating, says the spicy rice is really good and offers Chelsea some, but she doesn't want it. Den asks him how he feels about keeping in touch, more regular like, and Brad says he doesn't know. It's good to see him, and he seems a bit ... Den interrupts to say enthusiastically that he is, yeah, he promises, things are different, he's different. Brad says that's good, but he's all right how he is. This deflates Den audibly, and Brad says sorry. Den tells him it's up to him, and Chelsea says yeah, it is.

'The Coronation Illumination', Susan's name for the idea, has struck Lilian as a good one and she wants to text it straight to Justin; Susan says fair's fair, it sounds lovely, and it's very generous of him to fund it out of his own money. Kenton pops up again to point out that this is the cash Justin promised to the Eurovision committee, which he just withdrew again without any warning. And now he wants to promote Damara with his little light-up popularity contest. Kenton can guarantee one thing: The Bull won't be entering. Lilian says that she thinks he'd have a good chance of winning, and he says he doesn't want to and turns to serve Stella, who asks for red wine. Lilian suggests that Kenton doesn't want to cut off his nose to spite his face, Susan the sanctimonious says that if there's any time to put aside grievances it's the new king being crowned, and Stella asks what this is? Lilian explains Justin's plan to light up a local landmark, and Susan suggests St Stephen's, or yes, The Bull would be perfect; over my dead body, says Kenton. Stella says Susan is singing Justin's praises, after what she was saying in the shop only half an hour ago, which little bit of gratuitous stirring has the effect of making Kenton say 'Oh, really?', Lilian say she is not to worry, and Susan indignantly say that it's true she hasn't been happy with Justin over the charging station but it pays to keep an open mind, and the Coronation Illumination idea is a very good one, and very generous too. There'll be a catch, warns Kenton: always is where Justin's concerned.

Den is concealing his disappointment, or rather isn't really, and when Brad goes to fetch himself and Chelsea another lemonade each, Den tries while he is gone to to arouse pity in Chelsea by talking about being lonely, which fails to get her to agree to see him again; she doesn't want to. As Brad gets back, she tells her father that Brad's got her back and she's got his: if he doesn't want to see Den, she doesn't either. Sorry, but that's just the way it is.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 26th April, 2023

A couple of loose ends are tied up amid constant petty bickering.

Characters: Kenton, Jolene, Lynda, Freddie, Tracy
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald-Hughes
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

His coronation cocktails are creating interest, according to Kenton, but in fact he seems only to have sold two. Jolene thinks they might need to fine tune the blend, and is dismissive of Kenton's ideas. Kenton then tells her all about Justin's Coronation Illumination; she looks it up and then demands to know when he heard about it. He tells her that Lilian told him last night, and that he told Lilian [The Bull's senior shareholder. Chris] that The Bull would not be entering. Jolene [the other owner of the business. Chris] disagrees. He reminds her that Justin is 'a double-crossing snake' as well as something unrepeatable, according to her; she doesn't care, if taking his sixpence will mean they get a lot of publicity at Justin's expense. Ignoring any protest from Kenton, she merely sees it as a great opportunity for them.

Lynda and Freddie coincide outside The Bull; he has a day off and is on his way to help Lily build some shelves for her bedroom. [I hope Shula has given her permission! Chris.] He left his coat at the pub last night and is going to pick it up first. Lynda tells him he ought to sign up for the Eurovision variety show, but he did that last night, with Italy as his country of choice. He hadn't realised that she was involved, and she takes the opportunity to be patronising about Harrison being out of his depth.

Having gone away to eat a sandwich in peace does not protect Kenton from Jolene coming to tell him that she has decided that they will be entering The Bull for Justin's competition, and if he doesn't like it that's tough. Being part of the Coronation is a big deal and will attract people from all over. He says that people looking at the outside of the pub is not going to make them any money, and suggests that the electricity bill for the light show will outweigh any profit they might gain. Justin might be supplying the lights, but they'll be running off the winner's electricity and cost them an arm and a leg. Jolene is certain they will make it back in sales. To him it sounds like a lot of effort, and Jolene says he can leave it to her: she is happy to make the effort – not for Justin Elliott but for the new king. Kenton groans, and when she asks whether he doesn't think it would be an honour to be part of such a historic event replies simply, 'Not really.' She has decided, however, but before they can start having a serious row Tracy shouts for them: she wants a hand to deal with a bit of a situation to do with Lynda's board. Kenton thinks he might finish his sandwich, but Jolene demands his immediate attendance in the bar.

The problem is two-fold: Tracy has been alone all morning [while Jolene and Kenton have been too busy squabbling to serve customers. Chris] and has a load of lunch orders to put through the till, and Freddie is loudly indignant because his name has been rubbed out and Ian is now down for Italy. His is the third complaint this morning, and Tracy is fed up with being a referee. Jolene tells her to leave it with her, and sets out to calm Freddie, who appeals to Kenton for corroboration that he saw him put his name down last night. Kenton didn't, but believes him when he says that is what he did. Jolene can't believe people are rubbing each other out: that's not in the spirit of things! She is surprised at Ian. Freddie, who has worked for him, isn't: he says it is classic Ian. He is ruthless. Jolene tells him not to worry: she'll sort it. Freddie's phone then pings: it's a message from Chelsea telling him he is needed at Lower Loxley because one of the waiting staff has gone home sick and she is on her own in the Orangery. He doesn't have the car with him because he planned to stay with Lily: what's he going to do? Kenton offers to give him a lift. Jolene is annoyed that he plans to leave her to deal with the problem, which he cheerfully says is not his circus, not his monkeys, but luckily Lynda comes in at that moment and the two men take the opportunity to escape. Lynda thinks the crowd by the chalkboard means a 'buzz' and interest in her idea; Jolene starts to disillusion her as they move together towards the bar.

In the car, Kenton expresses surprise that Elizabeth has agreed to have the painting with a ship in it removed and put into storage. It seems the trustees merely didn't want it sold. Freddie is incoherently dissatisfied with the solution, since it was not his arguments with Elizabeth that succeeded: she wouldn't hear him out, but Uncle David did listen, and he must have spoken to Elizabeth about it. Kenton congratulates him on having stuck to his guns: he should be proud of himself, and so should Elizabeth. Freddie says she is more annoyed about all the messing around, but he has an idea to get her back on side; he is going in for the Illumination competition that Justin is running. When Kenton lets him know that The Bull is entering, against Kenton's wishes, he is cast down; Kenton explains that he can't bear the thought of doing anything for that weasel Justin, and they are seriously in the red over the winter fuel bills and the cost of electricity for the poxy light-show might finish them off. Freddie tells him not to worry: he reckons Lower Loxley has this one in the bag. Kenton just hopes he's right.

The fuss about people switching in their own names on the chalk board has been sorted out by Jolene, Lynda and Tracy, who are now in need of a soothing brew; it seems that among other disputes, Mandy Beesborough had nicked Ireland and was nearly assaulted by Sabrina Thwaite as a result. Tracy is off home in order to be there when Brad and Chelsea get home from college; she says they are both a bit shaken about Den reappearing. Lynda thinks she has got all the countries back with the right people, and suggests the board should go behind the bar where it can be supervised; Jolene is a bit doubtful, and Tracy thinks it might be better to start again, and have all the countries in a hat for people to draw out at random. Lynda disagrees because she wanted everyone to have a choice, but much to the relief of the other two decides in the end that the draw is the best idea, and they will do it at the weekend. Problem solved; our Eurovision variety show is saved, she exclaims hyperbolically.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 27th April, 2023

Alice is impertinent, Justin is underhand and Kenton is sneaky.

Characters: Alice, Adam, Brian, Jolene, Kenton, Freddie, Justin, Natasha
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald-Hughes
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The fiasco about the allocation of countries for the Eurovision talent show is being recounted by Adam at the family supper being held at Honeysuckle Cottage. Apparently Lilian had signed up for Australia and planned a dance routine, which she now intends to perform no matter what country she ends up with. Brian is slightly surprised that Australia is in Eurovision, but then changes to talking of the memorial planter that Neil is putting up on the green for Jennifer: it is to have bee-friendly flowers in it and will be allowed to grow as it wants. Alice becomes maudlin, and Brian changes the subject again, this time to the food they have just eaten. Adam says ruefully that Ian's will have to go in the microwave: he is taking a long time to get Xander settled again after he came down on his own recognisance to join the company. This reminds Alice that she wants details of Xander's savings account; she is planning to put some money into it, or open one for him if he doesn't have one yet. She has decided to make payments into savings for the other grandkids to make up for Martha being left money. [That's Phoebe, Noluthando and Sipho, and I'm sure they'll all be very grateful, if they even still have savings accounts. Chris.] She wants to do it because she doesn't want Martha having been left money to come between her and the others [not to fret, pet: being well over twenty years older will probably do it for one of them, and living on another continent for the other two. Chris]. When Adam protests that it's fine, she launches again into her well-rehearsed 'Mum didn't trust me not to drink' jeremiad, and starts to get tearful; Brian tries unsuccessfully to shut her up. Her response to that is to tell him there had better not be any nasty surprises in his will, to which he very properly replies that what is in his will is his business. She is taken aback and claims she was only joking. Unless... Are there some nasty surprises in his will?

Outside Justin's den Freddie, who is due in at quarter to, is on a high, and Jolene is quietly confident; Kenton is along purely to support her, which he is clearly going to have to do whether he feels like it or not.

Alice is now banging on about Brian's will; his having made it clear that it is none of her business has not stopped her and she won't let the subject alone. He doesn't want to discuss it. She and Adam tell Brian what they have assumed he would do: leave the farmland to the partnership and split everything else between the five of them. He refuses to be drawn, even when Alice asks if he has fathered another child they know nothing about, but says slightly indignantly that he's a bit shocked to find that his children are all waiting for him to die so they can get their hands on his money. He's planning on sticking around for a while yet, so they'll just have to wait and see.

To Jolene and Kenton, waiting for Jolene's turn to make her pitch, enter a cheerful Freddie accompanied by Justin Elliott, who gives him the impression that he may already have chosen Lower Loxley Hall on the basis of Freddie's presentation. Jolene goes in, leaving Kenton and Freddie to talk together; Freddie regrets not having talked more about farming, since King Chazzer is really into organic farming and rewilding and all that. He adds that Lower Loxley isn't a farm as such (quite forgetting the five farms on the estate), but no farm has entered as far as he knows, so it should be all right. 'Oh, really?' murmurs Kenton.

Adam offers Brian a nightcap, but Ian is waiting to drive him home so he declines it. Alice apologises for putting her foot in it earlier, and after he has gone she and Alice discuss whether he is fine after her earlier outburst; she wishes she hadn't said anything. She had no idea he'd react like that [and go on not thinking much of it when she went on and on, too! Chris] and Adam, forgetting that in 2008 Brian told everyone what was in his will, suggests that not telling anyone what is in your will might be a generational thing. Alice is alarmist about the possibility that he will now change it to cut her out for offending him, and leave it all to a cats' home to teach them a lesson, to which Adam replies crushingly that Brian can't stand cats. Adam than starts to wonder what is in Brian's will, and Alice to ask why he won't tell them. Adam responds that like Brian says, they'll just have to wait and see.

After starting her pitch, Jolene reveals that she has brought some Chenin Blanc with her to show what she means about the importance of The Bull, and starts vamping Justin, who responds very much as one assumes she has hoped he will.

Meanwhile, Kenton has rung Natasha, who doesn't know who he is because she doesn't have his number in her phone [but he of course has hers: why? Chris]. He tells her that an exciting opportunity has arisen and it occurred to him that it might be of interest to her.

Justin appears no longer to be thinking with his brain but with some other organ less suited to the exercise, and gives Jolene to understand that she may well have won the competition, telling her that the wine was a nice touch and a little bribery goes a long way. He admits that Lilian being a major shareholder means he is biased towards The Bull, but on this occasion bias doesn't come into it: after that pitch he can't think of a worthier winner.

Although it is a bit of a hard sell, Kenton eventually persuades Natasha to ring Justin and see if she can get him to allow her to make a late entry for Bridge Farm, so suitable as an enterprise which would be approved by the new king. She thanks him and says it is lovely of him to think of them; don't mention it, says Kenton. [He really means that. Chris.] Good luck! He'll be keeping everything crossed for them.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 28th April, 2023

Bridesmaids Bride's attendants, bullying and bullshit.

Characters: Tracy, Chelsea, Lynda, Paul, Justin
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald-Hughes
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Chelsea's revision is interrupted by Tracy, who has booked The Bull for the wedding reception and been given a discount, and Clarrie has said she will do the flowers, bouquets of the wild flowers from the verges of the hay meadow. She wants Chelsea and Brad to be her Bride's Attendants; Chelsea is delighted to agree as long as she doesn't have to wear some horrible bridesmaid's dress. Tracy puts 'outfits for Brad and Chelsea' on her list of things to arrange, but Chelsea says she doesn't need something new: she can wear something she already has, or borrow a dress from Kaysha, and she knows Tracy is skint. Tracy then says something hinting that she isn't, but doesn't want to explain to Chelsea.

It turns out that Paul knows Monty well, which Lynda didn't know because it is Robert who takes him to the vet for check-ups. Lynda admits that her chalk-board was a disaster, which Paul already knew; he thought it all sounded hilarious, with people tearing strips off each other [sic. Chris] over who gets to be the Netherlands. Lynda didn't find it amusing, but Paul indulges in a little light flattery and she is soon back to her usual self. She tells him about the plan to put all the countries into a hat and have a grand draw as Paul originally suggested. Paul however has other things on his mind: he has had a look at the big screen at The Bull, and reckons that it isn't; people have larger screens in their living-rooms. It's all Justin Elliott's fault: he promised them money, and it's not on for him to whip away again. Justice should be done. Yes, agrees Lynda thoughtfully, it should. Does he think it's worth them having another go at changing his mind? Paul thinks that if anyone can, it's Lynda Snell, MBE. She is surprised and delighted that he knows she has a gong, about which Harrison told him, and agrees so long as she is given chapter and verse, all the details of what happened in the meeting; tell her everything.

The secret, which Tracy now reveals, is that Den has sent her congratulations and a cheque for a hundred pounds. Chelsea wants to know when, and she says it was on the mat when she got in last night. But Tracy doesn't want his money; she's going to halve it between Brad and Chelsea. Chelsea doesn't want it, and really needs to get on with her revision.

The facts about Justin's behaviour, including Harrison agreeing to sign his volunteering form in exchange for money (which Lynda describes as blackmail); only now Justin has gone back on his word. Lynda isn't surprised, but thinks Harrison should have got the money at once: he's too trusting. Still, Justin is the one in the wrong; he should keep his word. Paul doesn't think he cares, but Lynda's reply is that they need to make him care. She asks what Paul is doing for the rest of the afternoon, and, rather than saying he will be at work, Paul says he will be backing her up when she takes on the Grinch of all things Eurovision. Lynda then phones Justin, establishes that he is at home, tells him that it's important, something urgent has come up and they will be with him in half an hour, then cuts him off as he says 'We?' Paul giggles and says that has really given Justin the willies, and the Dynamic Duo set off to right wrongs.

Chelsea is off out to meet up with Kaysha and revise together. Tracy offers her a lift, then apologises for having mention Den; Chelsea says it was nice of him, she supposes, and Tracy says sure, sticking a hundred quid through the door makes up for all the years of unpaid child maintenance. It turns out that Den got to Chelsea a bit with his talk about being lonely: she thinks he might be having some sort of mid-life crisis. Tracy very properly points out that if Den is on his own he has only himself to blame. She could swing for him, trying to guilt trip Chelsea and Brad into looking after him! Chelsea doesn't think he was trying to guilt trip them; he meant it: he's lonely. Tracy points out that if he wanted to play happy families he's at least ten years too late. Chelsea wants to know what if he's changed, and Tracy says she'll believe it when she sees it. Chelsea agrees she doesn't want to see him, but she doesn't want him to be alone either. Tracy says if in future she wants to connect with him, she can, and Tracy will be there to pick up the pieces when he lets her down again, which he will. Chelsea has to go, and Tracy tells her that if the cheque doesn't bounce she will put fifty quid into Brad and Chelsea's accounts, and she doesn't want any arguments. He owes them a hell of a lot more, and they owe him nothing: Chelsea is not to forget that.

The deputation has reached Justin, who is very put out that they are pestering him about the Eurovision committee and saying it is urgent. After appealing unsuccessfully to his better nature and being told that it's a question of competing funds, with Justin having pledged the money to the Coronation Illuminations, Lynda accuses him of having pledged the money only to fulfil the Business Angel requirements; Paul breaks in to say he got Harrison to sign his form and then went back on his promise, and Lynda informs him that she just hopes he can live with himself. As he is saying that he is sure he can manage, she throws in Lilian finding out, Paul counterpoints with the suggestion that devastated doesn't cover it, and Justin is horrified to learn that his partner has signed up for an act and hasn't told him. Paul thinks she wanted it to be a surprise. Justin capitulates: if they promise to leave him in peace they can have the full amount. Lynda suggests that he will make the transfer now, and he agrees, so the two immediately leave, with Paul saying, 'consider yourself left in peace.'

As they walk off down the drive Paul gloats about what they can do with all the money, and Lynda muses that if they can take on Justin Elliott, what else could they achieve together? Paul gives her a high five, she says 'to triumph over adversity!' and they laugh together.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 30th April, 2023

Unlike Kenton, Bridge Farm is keen to be lit up, while Jim is incensed.

Characters: Kenton, Chelsea, Helen, Pat, Jim, Natasha
Credited scriptwriter:
Caroline Harrington
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Outside The Bull, Kenton is trying to untangle bunting, somewhat to Chelsea's amusement. She offers to help but he sees no need, and she then approves where the bunting is to go, and the fact that the flowers in the hanging baskets are red, white and blue: yes, says Kenton, Jolene has been nursing them for ages to make sure they are at their best for the coronation; red and white geraniums and, um, those blue ones. He isn't sure why they need bunting too, and Chelsea points out it's not every day you have a coronation, then asks if he remembers the last one. He suggests that he isn't that old, and Chelsea says her grandfather does, and that there was a picnic on the green, to which Kenton responds there will be one for this coronation as well. Chelsea says they didn't even have telly back then, and Kenton informs her that a lot of people got their first TV set specifically to watch the Queen in the Abbey. They will have it on the big screen in the bar. Chelsea asks about the light show in the evening, and when he says their electricity bill is barely affordable as it is, assumes Justin is paying for it, an illusion of which Kenton swiftly disabuses her. Anyway, it's not up to him: it's Justin's decision – and who knows what goes on inside his head?

Being alone in her house has driven Helen over to do paperwork at Bridge Farm, though she doesn't really want to admit as much to Pat. Pat is still annoyed that the police have not told them they have taken Rob in for questioning [about what? Chris]. She offers a cup of coffee, and Helen springs to make it, then whilst she is doing Pat this minuscule favour asks if she and Tony can have the boys tomorrow night so she and Lee can go out. She has noticed she has been neglecting Lee and wants to make it up to him [poor sod. Gus].

Kenton's efforts with the bunting have drawn the attention of Natasha, who offered to hold the ladder and was turned down, and of Jim, who tells him to be careful. When he comes down he assures Jim that he really isn't a royalist [sic; we think he might mean 'monarchist'. Chris], but his wife is ridiculously excited by the whole coronation business. Seren and Nova like the bunting, and Natasha enquires whether Jim is going not to celebrate; he tells her he plans to stay indoors and listen to uplifting music, and he will avoid the picnic on the green like the plague. He deplores the idea of the light show, and being told it is Justin Elliott's idea doesn't endear it to him. Kenton tells him that The Bull and Lower Loxley have put in bids, and Bridge Farm. Jim is thoroughly jaundiced about Justin forcing his pet projects on people and places who really don't want them, and utters a quick riff on charging stations; he leaves, wishing Kenton and Natasha good luck with everything. When he is out of earshot Natasha thanks Kenton for tipping her off about it, and he tries to pump her about whether she thinks she may have won for Bridge Farm. She has not heard yet.

The cooking of Bridge Farm lunch is underway, with Helen helping Pat. They sit down together and Pat asks whether she's seen Tom recently: he's been a bit monosyllabic, not his usual cheery self. Helen thinks he may have had a row with Natasha about their meeting with Jess, but Pat feels that was ages ago and he surely ought to have got over it. Helen is not sure: he had a real go at her over it, as if it were all her fault. [Whose else was it then? Chris.] Natasha arrives at this moment and is told they were talking about her; when asked if Tom is all right, she says she thinks he is just knackered by the children. Pat then asks if she has heard back from Justin, and Helen discovers Natasha has put in a bid for the coronation illumination to be at Bridge Farm on the grounds that like Highgrove, it's organic. Somewhat to Pat's surprise, once it has been explained Helen is all in favour and thinks it a great idea. Pat wonders if she will be OK with lots of people wandering around on the farm after dark, but Helen is sure she will: people are there all the time, aren't they. Anything that promotes their business, what's not to like?

Jim encounters Chelsea and starts to tell her about successes he has had in his continuing offensive against Justin Elliott's plans, and is shocked and saddened to be told that having heard there might be a small hair and nail salon at the charging station she has changed her mind about it being an unalloyed evil; she's sorry, but she thinks she ought to step back from the committee. She then floors him by asking how he managed to land Greece. He has not the faintest idea what she is talking about, but it turns out that by some strange twist of fate his name has been entered into the draw for countries in the Eurovision extravaganza. He wants nothing whatever to do with this Eurovision farrago: he wouldn't touch it with a bargepole. Chelsea assures him he is on Harrison's list: she's seen it. He says he will have to have a word with Harrison: somebody must have been taking his name in vain. Chelsea thinks he would go down a storm, and the more she tells him about it (including Brookfield planning a take on The Sound of Music for Austria) the less he likes the sound of it: he says that it sounds like Hell. She, on the other hand, can't wait to see what he comes up with for the show.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 1st May, 2023

Helen engineers a night in, and Jim lands himself in the ... Eurovision Extravaganza.

Characters: Helen, Lee, Jim, Harrison, Tom, Justin
Credited scriptwriter:
Caroline Harrington
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The day is being planned by Helen, but Lee won't be in because he has undertaken to do cover at the hospital, thinking she and the boys would be at Bridge Farm: farming doesn't get Bank Holidays off. However, he will be home at seven, in time for her projected evening in without the boys, and, since Jack will not be there to say 'yuck', she will make them curry.

Breakfast at Woodbine Cottage has been interrupted by Jim; Harrison's has, at least, because Fallon had hers and went off to the tea-room an hour ago. Jim is there to find out what him having been allotted Greece in the Eurovision contest is about, and Harrison is soon able to consult the list and tell him that though it says 'J Lloyd' beside 'Greece', it's not Jim that is meant: that is Harrison's shorthand for Julian Lloyd-Jones, who has recently moved into the Beechwood Estate. When Harrison describes him (youngish, beard, man-bun) Jim is horrified: the man was at the last quiz night, and he is a blockhead who couldn't tell the Greek gods from the Romans and insisted Neptune was the god of the sea when any fool knows it's Poseidon. Harrison points out that it needn't concern him, but Jim retorts that it does: the very idea of Zorba's dance or the best way to make moussaka makes Jim's flesh creep, and he needs to have a word with this chap, just to make sure he isn't going to disseminate misinformation about the greatest civilisation the world has ever known. He can't have some ignoramus spreading cultural inaccuracies on his specialist subject, especially someone who has stolen his name.

Tom is harvesting tomatoes [on 1st May. They must have been heating the polytunnels. Chris. No-one said the buggers were ripe! Gus.] when Helen comes up and engages him in conversation; it becomes clear that he and Natasha are not talking much, though Tom claims what is wrong with him is simply exhaustion from having two small children. As they are talking about the light-show, Justin walks over from the car-park and tells them he would like a look around: Natasha is not available to show off the farm, but Helen is happy to talk up the idea of Bridge Farm being Illuminated; however, she can't spare half-an-hour to show him round because she has to go and take her son to a birthday party: Tom will be happy to do it, she says, and when he expostulates that he has promised to take the tomatoes to the shop she tells him that she will deliver them for him, and instructs him to give Justin the guided tour.

Once again Jim interrupts Harrison, this time by phone and when he is not only at work but in the middle of some work; he is put off until Harrison gets home at about half-seven.

The tour is going well, with Tom telling Justin more than he probably wants to know about Bridge Farm ('This is the edible forest garden; the layers of edibles replicate the perma-culture of the Amazon. It showcases sustainable eating: everything growing here can go on your plate'). The more Tom seems a little dubious about the project, the more Justin sells it to himself, until after being told the company doing it only needs a couple of days to set everything up Tom asks whether that means it's a definite yes, and Justin replies – without actually saying that it is – that it seems so suitable he doesn't think they have a choice.

The curry supper was a five-star meal, and Helen refuses to let Lee wash up; she wants to make the most of the peace and quiet, and having the sofa to themselves to watch something that doesn't involve either car-chases or cartoon characters.

When he goes round to see Harrison again Jim explains ruefully that he has messed things up: he went to give Lloyd-Jones some advice about Greece and was not welcomed; in fact not only was Jim given the bum's rush in terms he declines to repeat, Lloyd-Jones has withdrawn from the entire business. Harrison is not best pleased, because that leaves him with a gap in his carefully-prepared programme; he therefore persuades Jim, using a mixture of guilt-tripping and flattery, to take over doing Greece himself, though it is clear that Jim is completely unsuited to have anything to do with Paul's vision of glitz and glamour. The Iliad is mentioned.

After an episode of something on the telly, Helen makes a strong effort and manages to snuggle with Lee, who can tell that she is not enthusiastic; she is tense, and he doesn't want her to put herself through something she doesn't want. She says she is so sorry, and he tells her it's not a problem. She thought if she could just create a nice romantic atmosphere things would sort of... It's not going to work, is it. Lee just wants to cuddle her, nothing more. It just makes her so angry; it's not fair on him! He tells her that she is everything to him, and he doesn't need her to do anything she doesn't want to do. He doesn't mind how long it takes: it will all be OK, don't worry.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 2nd May, 2023

Kenton would like to forget; Helen can't but remember.

Characters: Jolene, Kenton, Helen, Kirsty, Tracy
Credited scriptwriter:
Caroline Harrington
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Bridge Farm has been chosen by Justin to be illuminated, and Jolene is upset: she thought it was in the bag. Kenton feigns surprise and sympathy as she once again goes over all the reasons it ought to be The Bull: a central location, everyone already being on the green for the afternoon picnic, Lilian having grown up there... She can't imagine everyone traipsing down to Bridge Farm at nine o'clock at night. [Or even up, since The Bull is on the green and Bridge Farm is quite a long way above the river. Chris.]

At Bridge Farm Helen is fielding congratulations from Kirsty, though she does gracefully say it was all Natasha's idea. She had worried about leaving unenthusiastic Tom to show him round, but when she got back everyone was celebrating. Speaking of which, what is Kirsty planning to do for her birthday? Kirsty doesn't say, but instead wants to know how the illuminations will work; Helen explains they will use the trail they set up at Easter with half-a-dozen illuminated areas. Kirsty has something else she wants to run past Helen: since it is all to raise money for Ukraine, she put her name down for the Eurovision draw and has ended up with Spain. She wonders how Helen would feel about helping her out, and gets the horrified reaction one might expect: the thought of standing up in public is too much for Helen. Kirsty is surprised: she thought Helen was feeling better about that since Easter, but gets told that since then Helen has still got That Man in her head, and if Lee tries to even touch her she can't respond. Kirsty is able from very long practice to make the right sympathetic noises as Helen explains that her body just won't let it go, and she doesn't know what to do.

That the light show has gone elsewhere is a surprise to Tracy, who thought it was definitely theirs; this gives Jolene a chance to say again how much she had been looking forward to it. Kenton tries to sympathise by saying that it would have been perfect, which immediately arouses suspicion in Jolene. She says that he's changed his tune, and his claims that he was only worried about the cost don't seem to convince her, so he goes off hastily to change a barrel, leaving her to tell Tracy that he's up to something. He has this habit of pulling on his earlobe when he's lying, and he definitely didn't want the light show there because he took against Justin and he was scared of the electricity bill. He didn't want to know right up until they heard Bridge Farm had got it. Tracy says he has a point about the electric: she can't afford it even now the weather is better, and in fact can't afford her own wedding. Jolene tries to cheer her up by saying everyone will chip in, like Clarrie doing the flowers, and Tracy thanks her for 'mates' rates' at The Bull, but then says she has no idea what she'll be wearing. She isn't sure she wants a big white dress, even if she could afford one, and Jolene asks whether she'd like to borrow something: they're roughly the same height, and though (as Tracy points out) they are a different shape, dresses can be altered. She has a dress she bought a few years back for a special birthday party, but it's been hanging in her wardrobe unworn ever since and Tracy would be welcome to it: she'll fetch it down later for her to have a look.

Kirsty has been worrying over Helen because of her revelations about Lee, and has come round to talk about it some more; Helen tells her again that she has been trying so hard to shake herself free but it's not working. Kirsty says it's not going to work until the police pull their finger out and take some action, shortly after which the doorbell rings and Kirsty lets in a very opportune Harrison, who has come to tell Helen and Kirsty that Rob has been interviewed under caution about his attempt to abduct Jack, and before anything more can be done Harrison needs to go over Helen's statement with her, and Kirsty's too, in case it gets to court and they have to be witnesses. When Kirsty wants to know why, since nothing has changed, he tells her it's for their benefit, to remind them exactly what happened, and Helen says, 'As if I could ever forget!' in the voice of a first-rate tragedy queen.

The dress is the most gorgeous dress Tracy has ever seen and must have cost Jolene a fortune; Susan has agreed to alter it, and Tracy will feel like a million dollars wearing it. Kenton asks if she has decided how many guests she wants, and as she explains about having to ask all Jazzer's family his phone rings: it's Natasha. When he goes away to talk to her Jolene and Tracy work out that it's to do with the light show. He comes back and is immediately accused by Jolene of having given Natasha all the information about the Coronation Illumination, and before there starts to be a row Tracy says someone had better pay attention to the customers and escapes to go and serve Neville. Once she is gone Jolene loses no time in getting the truth out of Kenton, and decrees that since he cost them the professional illuminations, she will have the Kenton Archer variety: he is to get out all the outside lights they have and festoon the pub in them, and if there are not enough he is to go and buy more.

After Harrison has left Kirsty asks if Helen is OK, since her hands are shaking, and Helen says she's really glad the police don't want to talk to Henry. Part of her is relieved they are doing something at last, but the thought of seeing Him again, even if it's only in a courtroom, sickens her. Kirsty says she can't imagine how it must feel; it's bad enough having to go over their witness statements. Honestly, Helen, it's all a blur except that it was pouring with rain; Helen, back in tragedy queen mode, proclaims that she can remember it all right: every moment, in vivid detail.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 3rd May, 2023

In which Mick comes up trumps, and Helen for once listens to someone else's woes.

Characters: Lynda, Leonard, Helen, Natasha, Joy
Credited scriptwriter:
Caroline Harrington
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

As Leonard comes out of the shop with some icing sugar for Jill, who is making a cake ready for Sykesy's visit to Brookfield, he encounters Lynda, to whom he confides that he has known Sykesy for a while and thinks him a cantankerous old so-and-so; he doesn't understand what Ben sees in him. She asks how the Brookfield Archers are getting on with their draw, Austria, and learns that they are doing The Sound of Music and cannot yodel.

Going over her statement with Harrison Burns at the police station has left Helen shaking once more, and Natasha, who has taken her into Borchester because Helen doesn't think she is in a fit state to drive, says it must be horrible having to dredge all that stuff up again. Helen inevitably replies that it doesn't take much dredging and that she remembers what happened is if it was yesterday; she is just glad she got through the interview without falling apart. Natasha suggests a cup of tea.

The Eurovision extravaganza is not 'all sorted', as Joy had supposed: Hilary Noakes has lost her voice and the Noakeses, who were supposed to be doing Croatia, have had to drop out. She swiftly quashes Lynda's tentative suggestion that she and Mick might step in: they did talk about joining but decided they'd rather be in the audience for this one. Lynda passes on to her other grievance: Darrington is also having a Eurovision show, pinching Ambridge's idea; she knows this because she approached the ageing local C-list star, Muriel Kipling, to ask whether she could award the prize for Ambridge, and learned that Darrington had got in first. Joy exclaims suitably, and Lynda explains that she can think of nobody to take Muriel's place. Joy suggests that she could ask Mick if he knows anyone appropriate from the time when he used to work behind the scenes for celebrities; Lynda says no real star will want to come and judge an amateur show in a little Borsetshire village at a bit over a week's notice, but Joy responds that it is worth a try.

Over tea, Helen has stopped shaking and tells Natasha about the after-effects of what Natasha describes as the 'profound trauma' Rob put her through. Natasha, like everyone else Helen knows, says the right supportive things and listens to Helen telling her how awful it is that she has not got over being abused; Helen voices her fear that Lee may eventually stop putting up with her being obsessed with the past, and Natasha says he is not just putting up with her, he is there for her. They will all be there for her for as long as she wants. Helen thanks her again, and also for going with her to see Jess; Tom was furious with her for that, wasn't he, asks Helen, and Natasha says it was letting Helen go at all that made him angry. When asked if he is all right now, Natasha withholds just enough information about it to pique Helen's interest, and is 'persuaded' to tell her that she is afraid Tom being preoccupied is more than just his being shattered, and she wants to reach out and help him with whatever is troubling him but he won't let her. Helen sympathises and points out that Tom gets stuck in a groove sometimes, when he knows something needs doing but can't figure out how to do it. Natasha likens it to wanting not to marry Kirsty, and confides that when she wakes up in the small hours she can't help worrying that history might be repeating itself: maybe he's gone off her. Helen exclaims against the idea and assures her that he is deeply in love with her. Natasha hopes she is right, because she loves him to bits.

Avoiding yet another rehearsal at Brookfield, Leonard is out for a walk and washes up beside Lynda, who is watching the evening sun from a bench. There are too few of them to be the whole von Trapp family, and furthermore Josh refuses to wear lederhosen. As they discuss this, Joy bounces up, on her way over to see Lynda: Mick has found a genuine, real-life celebrity to come and judge their Eurovision show. The effect is slightly lost when neither Lynda nor Leonard knows who 'Rylan' is and she has to explain his career in some detail: Leonard eventually works out that he is the tall feller with a beard, rather sort of... Joy says that's him. Lynda asks whether he once made a guest appearance on Have I Got News For You and when told that he did, knows who it is and says it is astonishing, whereupon Joy remembers she has missed out the most important thing about him: he's a commentator for this year's Eurovision Song Contest. Lynda and Leonard think it too good to be true, and Leonard asks how, if he will be up in Liverpool, he can also be in Ambridge. Joy explains that he will be driving up on Friday, and could stay the night locally: so long as their show can be fairly early on Saturday, he would be very happy to be their judge. Lynda can hardly believe that someone involved in Eurovision will be there, in Ambridge: what a coup! Joy too can hardly believe it, and says that will put Darrington's nose out of joint, won't it.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 4th May, 2023

Sykesy enjoys his visit, Leonard does not, and arrangements for Rylan's are up in the air.

Characters: Ben, Ruth, Lynda, Joy, Sykesy, Jill, Leonard
Credited scriptwriter:
Caroline Harrington
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

That Rylan is coming to judge the Ambridge show has got Ben all excited; when he tells Ruth she's incredulous. He immediately thinks they might be able to get him to stay in their B&B, though Ruth thinks it likely he'll be staying with Lynda. Ben immediately rings Lynda to ask about it, though it's early and Ruth thinks she might still be in bed. As it turns out she is walking Monty, and graciously turns down his kind offer: she's sure Rylan will be staying with her and Robert. After ringing off, Ben announces they will have to change their costumes: it's one thing wearing lederhosen for the village, but this changes everything. Ruth laughs at him, then wants him to tell her if there is anything more she ought to know about Sykesy coming over in the afternoon. They'll be there about three o'clock, which he has already told her.

As Lynda is turning for home Joy catches up with her, and is invited round after her shift at the shop for a celebratory cup of tea: Lynda plans to do some gardening after lunch. Then they both have to dash, Joy to start her shift at the shop and Lynda to make breakfast for the guests, since Robert has been away for a couple of days and won't be back until the afternoon.

According to Sykesy, David looks just like Phil. He is greatly enjoying his farm visit, and Ruth comes to summon them for tea; this brings on a bout of flannel about her being too young to be Ben's mother, and Ben saying she's the boss round here. He is looking forward to seeing Jill again: they got on like a house on fire over at The Laurels. When he and Ben get in he is greeted cheerfully by Jill, and when introduced to Leonard he calls him 'Lennie', which Leonard corrects to his actual name. He then flirts and reminisces with Jill, talks about farming and calls Leonard 'Len', which gets corrected again. The two men fence, and Sykesy flirts with Jill over a freshly-made lemon drizzle cake. He claims to have last been on the farm in the sixties, and to have an abiding memory of Jill sitting on the kitchen steps in a yellow sun-dress, shelling peas. [I say again: Jill didn't move to Brookfield until 1970. Chris.] His exaggerated talk makes Jill laugh.

Lynda pauses in her gardening to greet Joy, and offers to show her round the garden; she tells Joy again that they are very grateful that Mick knew someone famous, and Joy suggests it was lucky they had a room to spare, since they are nearly always booked up. Lynda is sure they have, though of course Robert is in charge of bookings and he is not yet home. Joy recounts a pointless anecdote about meeting Richard Coles, who said 'nice to meet you, Joy' to her. She has never forgotten, but she's sure he wouldn't know her again, and wishes she hadn't told Mick about it: he is now worried in case Rylan doesn't really remember him at all. Lynda reassures her that it won't matter: he will be welcomed into the front double with en suite, and if he doesn't recognise Mick Lynda is sure he'll see the funny side. Joy agrees that she's right, but just hopes Mick sees it that way.

Ben and Sykesy are talking about other residents of The Laurels perhaps wanting to see the farm, about which Sykesy is not entirely sure: he thinks his experience of farming was what made it special for him. He tells Jill how happy spending the afternoon with her has made him: something he could only dream about back in the day: he used to fancy the pants off her. She hoots with laughter, Ben protests and sees him out, and Leonard growls; after he and Ben have gone out to the car Leonard says he seemed a bit full of himself, and Jill calls him a character and says it does everyone good to have a bit of a laugh. It's clear that Leonard's nose has been put badly out of joint.

A little later, Lynda knocks on the kitchen door at Brookfield: she wants to speak to Ben as a matter of urgency. He won't be back until seven, according to Ruth; Lynda explains that she assumed Rylan could stay with them at Ambridge Hall, but Robert has got back and told her they don't have a room free. Ruth can't tell her whether their room is still free: the B&B is Ben's responsibility and he has the booking app on his phone. Lynda is distressed: they have a responsibility. Rylan needs to be welcomed into their midst; if she can't do it, she sincerely hopes that Brookfield can.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 5th May, 2023

There's a happy ending for some, and not for others.

Characters: Natasha, Tom, Kirsty, Helen, Ben, Ruth
Credited scriptwriter:
Caroline Harrington
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

A subdued-sounding Tom is home for dry overalls after an argument with an irrigation pipe, and is grabbing something to eat while he's there. Natasha asks if he could drop the girls off with his mum when he goes back, but he needs to go down to Sawyers first and asks why she can't do it; apparently she is supposed to be meeting Felix, the guy who is doing the illuminations, at two o'clock. Tom says that when he left it was starting to look pretty organised, and then that he has to make a move; when Natasha asks what is the matter, there is a slightly too long pause before he says 'nothing'.

Kirsty arrives a little late and Helen sings 'happy birthday to you' at her; Kirsty pretends to think the light show outside is for her and gets told all about it. She thinks Helen looks better than she did on Wednesday when Harrison turned up; Helen says yet again that it brought it all back, but Kirsty feels that it didn't really: when she went through her statement with Harrison she was wondering 'did I really say that?', and thinking that details she'd given like the colour of the car were wrong. Helen is feeling better, though, because the police are onto Him and have Him in their sights. When Kirsty asks what happens now, Helen tells her that according to Harrison, once all the statements are collected [they already had them. Chris] the police pass them on to the Crown Prosecution Service along with anything else that is relevant, and they decide whether to prosecute; Helen has no idea how long that will take. She is doing her best to forget all about it and enjoy the festivities.

Because his phone was on silent, Ben didn't get Lynda's message about needing the Brookfield B&B for Rylan, and booked someone else in for that weekend. He is very fed up about it, but he is due back at work at half past two; he has had lunch, but is concerned that Ruth too should have some. Meanwhile, after talking about Sykesy's visit he wonders whether they could host other residents of The Laurels, about which proposition Ruth is rather dubious, especially given that Sykesy upset Leonard. Ben leaves, reminding her again to go and get something to eat.

Helen has to get back to the dairy, but before she goes Kirsty asks whether she might be prepared to help her with the performance for Spain and gets a definite refusal; she doesn't give up, but explains that she plans to give a history of tortas de la abuela, and wants Helen to cook some as she gives the talk and then distribute them to the audience. After a little talk Helen agrees to try it. Natasha then comes in wondering if they have seen Tom, and when Helen asks whether everything is all right says yes, it's just about the arrangements for this evening and leaves again. Kirsty asks what's going on, and Helen most tactfully explains to Tom's ex, whom he dumped so unceremoniously, that Natasha told her in confidence that she thought Tom didn't love her any more. Kirsty, in a tense whisper, is certain that's nonsense, but Helen says he's been behaving oddly, as if he has something on his mind.

When Ben gets in from work Ruth is making lasagna for tea and asks how work was; apparently he has been told off for blatant favouritism and lots of other people want to visit the farm Sykesy has been raving about. He has another try at talking Ruth into letting more of them come out for an afternoon: farm visits are a Thing at the moment, look at Bridge Farm. Ruth continues not to be keen, citing older people having mobility problems, and it being a health and safety nightmare. When Ben says sadly, 'that's a no, then,' she sighs deeply and suggests they see what his dad says.

Natasha has arranged to meet Tom in the edible garden just before the switching on of the lights; he was delayed by Helen. She has left Tony to look after her children. He says it's beautiful there, and then 'Natasha...', which leads to her asking in a frantic way what the matter is, is it her, please tell her. He finally lets on that he has been worrying about it all week, and he thinks they've made a mistake. She'll hate him for saying it because it was her idea in the first place. This makes her worry even more, and when he eventually says it's the girls and that advert, it is a relief to her; she tells him she thought he was going to tell her he was leaving her and doesn't love her any more. He is astounded: how on earth could she think that? When told he has been distant and they haven't had a proper conversation in days, he is very apologetic: he was just fixated on Seren and Nova and what they've done to them, but he couldn't tell Natasha. He can't forgive himself for making them do it. They aren't going to change the business, but in the blink of an eye they did that! Natasha points out miserably that what is done is done and they can't turn the clock back, but he is determined: that's it. They're not going to do it any more. When Natasha simply says 'fine' he is surprised that she agrees; she tells him that of course she does, she just wishes he'd told her sooner. She really did believe he'd gone off her. He kisses her to show that he loves her as much as ever, and as he does so the illuminations come on, which he describes as perfect timing. In a perfect-for-radio moment, they exclaim about how great it all looks: so beautiful. Natasha is moved to Welsh, and then they go off to see their farm in all its coronation glory.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 7th May, 2023

In which all parties are very much themselves, unfortunately.

Characters: Leonard, David, Eddie, Helen, Rebecca Price
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Gwenda Hughes
Editor: Jeremy Howe

It's time for tea, and Leonard has come to find David but is roped in to help him hang a gate, [presumably in an enclosed space such as a barn, judging by the sound quality. Chris.] As David tinkers they discuss the coronation coverage, and then the Big Help-Out on Monday, in which Leonard plans to join: the Penny Hassett Rotary are putting on a repair workshop at the town hall. [Which one? Penny Hassett is an even smaller village than Ambridge. Chris.] As they are about to go in Leonard asks whether David finds him funny. David doesn't at first understand him, then says he is good-natured and people can have a laugh with him and he's good company, but that's not really what Leonard means. When David has finished extolling Leonard's positive aspects Leonard sums it up: 'Boring, you mean,' then thanks him for being honest.

Eddie has turned up for the Bridge Farm illuminations, and mentions that he's heard The Bull is lit up like a Christmas tree. Helen expresses her gratitude to Justin for paying for it all and also arranging publicity, but Eddie doesn't think much of it: Justin Elliott will have to go a long way to make up for the charging station thing, and keeping his involvement a secret. He invites David to join him at the pub after he's looked at the rest of the trail, and goes off to do that, leaving Helen to say that he does speak his mind and David to suggest that he does have a point: there's not much Justin does that isn't for his own benefit. When David praises the illuminations Helen tells him he will have to ask Natasha for any details about them: she did all the liaising with Justin and the contractor. He says that there is always something new at Bridge Farm and he and Brookfield are stick-in-the-muds, which leads Helen to point out the events barn and the B&B. He deprecates both, then asks whether Tom is around: he's met someone in the yard, over from Evesham, whom Tom helped with advice about polytunnels, and who is now selling up. At this point they are approached by someone asking if they work there, and when Helen says she does and is Helen, she introduces herself as Rebecca Price, from the Borchester Echo. She hopes for a short interview, and when Helen tries to pass her on to Natasha, who isn't there at the moment, presses for something immediately. David remarks that it would be great publicity for Bridge Farm, and Helen reluctantly asks what she wants to know.

At The Bull, Eddie encounters Leonard and after telling him that his accomplice in his UK Eurovision presentation, Terry Two-Phones, has been caught out and grounded by his wife, explains that he needs someone else to join him in a two-handed comic act, and he will now have to do it on his own – unless... Leonard? This gets a definite 'no no no' from Leonard.

The interview is proceeding, with Justin Elliott being front and centre of the reporter's attention until she abruptly realises that this is Helen Titchener. Helen is thrown, but says that she was but is now Helen Archer [blithering nit: 'no' is a complete sentence. Chris] and when Rebecca persists, David intervenes and says he doesn't think that is relevant to this. Helen says if that is what Rebecca wants to talk about she can't help her, and Rebecca says she is sorry, and maybe if Helen doesn't want to be interviewed she could give her Natasha's number, which leads Helen to say it's all right. Rebecca promises not to mention Helen's history in the article, and the interview goes ahead. When she asks whether Bridge Farm has had any other royal connections, David reminds Helen about her meeting Prince Charles at Highgrove, and him encouraging her to start making cheese. Then the photographer arrives and since Helen has to be out of the picture, David is roped in to stand giving an idea of scale; while he is centre stage he does his best to sell Rebecca on the idea of doing a piece about Brookfield as well, but she is clearly uninterested to the point of rudeness, eventually declining his number and saying she can always track him down. He takes himself off and Helen continues to talk about herself and her cheese.

At The Bull, David (who was clearly oblivious to even the broadest hints) tells Eddie and Leonard that he and Brookfield will probably get a story in the Echo. Eddie, who seems contrary to reason or reality to have managed to rope the very reluctant Leonard in to replace Terry, decides to force a demonstration of their act onto David; Leonard is hopeless, and David quite fails to see the humour in 'I say, I say, I say! My wife's gone to Borsetshire.' 'Edgeley?' 'No, she was perfectly confident' until Leonard's pronunciation is changed to 'edgily'. A comedic news headline from Leonard similarly means nothing to him, mostly because Leonard missed out an essential word. Leonard proclaims that it's hopeless, but Eddie is firm: they're not going to quit. Eddie will make Leonard funny if it's the last thing he does.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 8th May, 2023

Adil twists Lynda's tail, while Helen assures herself of Kirsty's full attention.

Characters: Adil, Lynda, Kirsty, Joy, Helen, Lilian
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Gwenda Hughes
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Adil has been roped into helping reseed the churchyard, in spite of Lynda planning to evict him from his room so Rylan can have it next weekend. He is definitely not pleased with her for insisting that he must pack up his things, and is not inclined to pretend that he is happy with the whole business. When Kirsty comes over to see how they are getting on Lynda tries to drag her into the disagreement, but she is not particularly interested, and at that moment Joy comes over to tell them all that refreshments have been set up in the church porch. Kirsty and Adil express gratitude; Lynda ignores her and goes on talking about her own concern, that some of the acts may not be 'suitable'. Tracy and Jazzer for instance, not to mention Eddie Grundy's British comedy: fraught with ghastly possibilities. The committee has agreed (with her, unspoken) to a mini dress-rehearsal on Wednesday. She is sure however that Kirsty is to be trusted and no vetting will be needed in her case. Kirsty says they plan to run through it tonight, and when Lynda says 'lucky Lee' responds that he will be away, which is why they chose now to do it. Joy promptly volunteers herself as audience and eater-of-Spanish-food; she learned a bit of Spanish in lockdown. Adil takes the chance to address her fluently in that language, and she responds in it with a British accent; he says 'very good'.

We hear the tail end of Kirsty's talk, and then Joy takes and tries some of Helen's prepared cookery, which she declares to be delicious. She says again that Mick is nervous because he isn't sure that Rylan really remembers who he is. Helen escapes to 'check on the boys', leaving Kirsty and Joy to chat about traditions such as mischief night and how that has deteriorated into vandalism, and how Helen's family are hosting Rogation Sunday on the farm, but as Kirsty is explaining about beating the bounds Helen comes clattering downstairs in a taking: Jack has seen a man on the drive.

Lynda and Adil are being scrupulously polite to each other, with Lynda offering an additional incentive to him to move out temporarily: perhaps a reduction on the following week's bill, a special gourmet dinner of his own choosing, or Robert washing his car? He has been giving the matter some thought and could put himself out for one night for a good cause, but Lynda now has to break it to him that it would be two nights: they will need to get the room perfect for the special guest. This underlines to Adil that he is not considered special, but he says he has been looking at the website of the County Hotel in Borchester, which seems very impressive. He appears to be quite pleased to be able to tell Lynda all about how splendid its facilities are, and how if it is as good as it seems he might choose to move there permanently. Lynda at once tries to dissuade him, speaking of it being a modern hotel and not having the personal touch, which causes him to repeat her incredulously: is that the personal touch used to throw a loyal guest out on the street? As he walks out, Lynda picks up the phone to speak to Lilian: she needs a big favour.

Whilst Helen panics and Joy tries to calm her, Kirsty goes out to see if she can find the intruder. Kirsty comes back in and explains that it was Mick looking for Joy's cat Ena, who had managed to get out when he opened the door. Helen sits hyperventilating until Joy asks how she is, when she says she is fine; Joy can't wait to get away after having caused such a panic even if indirectly, and once she is gone Helen starts to berate herself about falling apart at the first little wobble, with Kirsty arguing that it isn't her fault and she mustn't blame herself. After a loud outburst about it taking all Helen's energy not to fall to pieces, Kirsty suggests that she could stay for the night, and offer which Helen gratefully accepts.

Adil is now being shown his potential quarters at the Dower House. Lilian promises to keep Ruby out of his way, and Lynda assures him it won't cost him a penny; Lilian starts a guided tour of the rooms with the sitting-room and ending with his room, about which he expresses considerable enthusiasm. In fact he praises everything very highly, especially the kitchen; he can't wait to come. It will be a real step up from what he's used to, he says, before going to inspect the bathroom ('magnificent'); Lynda is not sure he had to be quite so effusive in his compliments, and is clearly more than a little ruffled. Is Ambridge Hall really that dowdy? Lilian retorts that she got what she wanted, and can't have it both ways.

Both boys are fast asleep, according to Helen, who thinks they didn't suspect anything; Kirsty tells her that the film is one that Kirsty last watched with Philip, but Helen doesn't react to this because she is too busy finding it 'a bit hard to concentrate'. Kirsty turns the film off, saying they don't have to watch it if Helen doesn't want to, and then spends some time and effort bolstering and reassuring Helen, who says she can't allow herself to get her hopes up about Rob being punished as he deserves; when Kirsty says they have to be positive, she says she is really trying but it's so hard. Kirsty suggests some hot chocolate to go with the last of the fritters, and is rewarded by being told she really is the perfect friend.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 9th May, 2023

A damaged painting, a damaged relationship and a damaged bridegroom.

Characters: Jazzer, Tracy, Freddie, Elizabeth, Brad, Jim
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Gwenda Hughes
Editor: Jeremy Howe

When Jazzer gets in from work Tracy is shifting furniture to make room for a practice ready for Thursday's rehearsal of their act for the Eurovision event. He's pleased with himself because Martyn Gibson expressed a wish to know more about farrowing pigs, and when Jazzer allowed him to get up close to a two hundred kilo sow who had just had ten piglets, she chased him out of the field.

Freddie has had and implemented an idea; Elizabeth is busy criticising it and pointing out every possible drawback. He has got together a project involving schoolchildren and planting a garden, as a manageable way to start getting to know about the care of the grounds, and because he has not done something like this before she seems to assume he cannot do it now. He assures her that he will be getting help and advice from Edgar (Titcombe), and she eventually says, 'well, good for you'. Brad comes over on his way home from a shift in the Orangery and after talking a bit about the new garden asks where the lamp fits in? It seems that it's there because it's stopped working and Elizabeth is on her way to put it into the store-room. [The way you always keep things that are not working rather than get them repaired or throw them away. Chris.] Freddie starts to tell Brad about his plans for his Sweden set in the Eurovision event, and when Elizabeth suggests there is not much Swedish music apart from Abba, Brad and Freddie both start listing Swedish musicians and force her to admit tacitly that she knows little or nothing about it. Brad says it will be better than the humiliating disaster Tracy and Jazzer are putting together but declines to tell Elizabeth what it is. Before she leaves Elizabeth admits to being intrigued by what Freddie is planning and asks him if he would play it for her when it is done, and he says he would love to.

Rehearsal is under way at The Green, and just as Jazzer grabs Tracy's thigh Brad comes in and protests. Jazzer informs him that it is Azerbaijan's favourite sport, but he doesn't see why they have to do it: can't they do something else, like, well, cooking like Helen and Tracy? Why does it have to be wrestling? He thinks it is gross and insane, and when Jazzer says he has done it himself responds that was on line, and didn't include his mum. In any case, World Wrestling Entertainment [an American professional wrestling promotion with video games, m'lud. Chris] isn't like what they are doing, but is about showmanship. Jazzer reckons Brad has a point: they need to make it more of a spectacle, so he and Tracy start to insult each other as they 'fight'; unfortunately Jazzer goes too far, and Tracy throws him hard; he decides he's not staying to be treated like that, and walks out, in spite of being supposed to be keeping an eye on Brad while Tracy works at the Bull. Brad hopes this may mean that wrestling is off the agenda.

Elizabeth has summoned Freddie to the store-room by phone, in order to imply that he may have deliberately damaged the contentious painting now being kept there. He is understandably offended.

Because Brad is grounded, he has had to go to the pub with Tracy so she can keep an eye on him while she works, and he is not happy about it: he wants to be in his room doing his homework. Jim has finished a meeting and brings empties for Tracy on his way home: he and three others have been planning their next move. Tracy is sorry, but he knows what she thinks: she knows Susan is worried about the shop, but the charging station will be for outsiders and will bring new people in, and mean new jobs. Jim says that while he sympathises with her recent travails, he fears their respective analyses of the likely economic effects of this development will continue to differ; she says 'pardon?' and Brad translates Jim's waffle as 'he thinks you're wrong.' Jim wants to know whether it is Take Your Offspring To Work Day, because they don't often see her children propping up the bar at The Bull, and Tracy says he can blame Jazzer for that and explains that he has gone off in a strop rather than minding Brad. After mother and son give a slightly muddled account of events, Jim realises that Jazzer is in the doghouse and does his best to convince Tracy that Jazzer has many admirable qualities, including respect and love for her. The other day he told Jim that he was the luckiest man alive to be marrying her.

Elizabeth is on the phone to Mr Larson, the foreman of the men who moved the picture, who denies the possibility of them having damaged it. She returns to the idea that it must have been Freddie who did it, but he manages to convince her that he didn't by saying he knew she was coming over there, and if he had put a knife through the painting he would have had the sense to say he would take the lamp there for her rather than let her discover the damage. He hates that she thought it might have been him, and she assures him that she didn't want to believe it. He says they will have to ask the staff if they have any idea what happened to it, and she grumbles that she'll have to talk to a restorer, though it certainly won't be cheap and it's an expense they can well do without. She dreads to think what the trustees are going to say about it.

Brad and Tracy are discussing what Brad might buy with the money his father gave them ('nice white shirt and some chinos, take you anywhere that will' says Tracy) and decorating for the reception when Jim comes breathlessly in saying he's been trying to ring her; she says she turns off her phone at work, and he realises that's why no-one has been able to reach her. It's Jazzer: there's been an accident.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 10th May, 2023

Jazzer has a broken ankle, and Eddie and Leonard almost break Tracy's ribs.

Characters: Jazzer, Tracy, Leonard, Eddie, Jim, Harrison, Lynda
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Gwenda Hughes
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Having a broken ankle, Jazzer is being cosseted by Tracy, who is much inclined to be furious with the driver even though though Jazzer claims the collision with a car was as much his own fault: he was on the road and round a corner when he was run into. She is not working tonight, and is giving nets a miss, leaving Tom in charge. Jazzer asserts that with the TV remote and a packet of pork scratchings he'd have a perfect evening, and when she says she wishes he wouldn't joke says that he can joke, because it's not that serious. He wasn't left for dead: the driver stopped and gave him first aid and then drove him to the hospital, and even waited until he went in. Tracy says indignantly that this was the least he could do, and points out that he didn't tell Jazzer his name; Jazzer responds that he may have done but Jazzer, having had a few, doesn't remember it. He must have told the police, though, and when they breathalysed him they found no alcohol. Tracy is very sorry for having banged Jazzer against the sideboard so that he went off like that; Jazzer reassures her that is the least of his worries, and tells her not to blame herself. She frets that he might have been killed, and he scoffs that it would take more than a posh car to take him out.

As they wait for their rehearsal spot, Leonard is pessimistic while Eddie is upbeat.

The disaster to the painting has become common knowledge among the Lower Loxley staff, with Chelsea sure Freddie wouldn't do a thing like that and Brad, along with most of the volunteers, believing he did. Jazzer comments that Freddie walks about tooled up, meaning his father's Swiss Army knife, and when Tracy wonders if that's for protection, says scornfully that it might protect him against a tetchy squirrel. Tracy is not really bothered about it, but has looked up what sick-pay Jazzer might get and it's nothing like enough to cover his wages. Pulling that stunt on Martyn Gibson doesn't look so funny now: he isn't likely to give him a bit extra. Next to that it isn't important, but they are going to have to pull out of the Eurovision show too, about which Jazzer is sorry: he knows Tracy was looking forward to it. Tracy asks whether he saw Brad trying to hide how happy he was they wouldn't be doing it, and Jazzer laughs because it was comical. The bigger thing is the wedding, though, mourns Tracy; should they put it off? Jazzer won't hear of it: plaster cast or no, that's the day he will marry her. Although, he adds, he might not manage the highland fling at the reception. As the pair laugh about him doing it for their first anniversary instead, Jim comes in, having been sent on through by Chelsea; he has come to check on the invalid. He took Tracy to A&E the previous night, and kept her calmed down, for which she thanks him with real gratitude. She then wonders if he could stay with Jazzer for a little while so that she can go and tell Lynda and Harrison they will have to cancel their act; he willingly consents.

When Tracy gets to the village hall she is full of apologies, and Harrison and Lynda are very understanding; while they are reassuring her that they have plenty of other acts Eddie puts his head round the door and asks whether they are ready for him and Leonard. When they come in their appearance makes Tracy burst out laughing: Leonard is wearing a hired police uniform, and most of Eddie's outfit came out of Clarrie's wardrobe. Tracy begs to be allowed to stay and see the act; she might not be able to come on Saturday if Jazzer is worse, and she won't be performing so she won't be competition. Harrison sees no harm in it, so they allow her to stay so long as Eddie and Leonard don't mind. A delighted Tracy says, 'Pass the popcorn!' and Harrison has to explain to Lynda that it is metaphorical popcorn. Leonard and Eddie launch into the skit, which is about Mrs Smell MBE and Sergeant Worms and involves, among other side-splitters, Leonard having got a cast-iron pan instead of having a cast-iron plan. Tracy creases up with laughter until

(after a cut)

the scene ends with Leonard asking how he is to get down from this tree. She tells them it was hilarious, and asks Lynda to agree with her. After a pause Lynda plays up like a trouper, telling the two men that she feels privileged; monarchs of old had jesters to satirise their idiosyncrasies, and Lynda Snell, MBE, can demonstrate a similar generosity of spirit. She does feel, though, that Eddie needs correction: she would never say 'you and me will have to dive in the duck-pond'; not that it is too silly, as Eddie anxiously suggests, but grammar! she would say 'you and I.' Eddie says mock-seriously that of course grammar is the secret of comedy. When appealed to by Tracy as to whether it was a very amusing skit, Harrison seems less certain than Lynda: does he really walk like that? and do that with his arms? Leonard tries to explain that it is intended as a caricature for comic effect. Tracy and Lynda are sure it has to be accepted, and Harrison supposes so; he asks for a five minute break before they see Tilly and Molly Button, who drew Romania; the words 'Cheeky Girls' have apparently been mentioned. Tracy is profuse in her praise to Eddie and Leonard, and Eddie tells Leonard that he may not be funny as himself, but as Harrison he's comedy gold.

Jazzer is wishing he'd asked for the make of the car, which was new and electric: he wouldn't mind having one himself if he could ever afford it. Jim instantly latches onto the fact that Jazzer has suffered injury from an electric car and wants to know more about it; Jazzer doesn't immediately grasp that this is now part of Jim's campaign and says it made for a smooth ride to the hospital, but he cottons on fairly rapidly and asks if Jim has no shame to be using a poor lad's pain for his own ends? Jim takes his joking seriously, and says that the fact that it was an electric vehicle is highly relevant to the case: if the charging station is approved the lanes of Ambridge will be inundated with electric cars. Would Jazzer be so blasé if it had been Tracy who was hit, or one of the children? Jazzer is forced to admit that puts a different light on it, whereupon Jim promises him that they will not take this lying down.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 11th May, 2023

Adil speaks of the past, and Freddie despairs of the future.

Characters: Elizabeth, Freddie, Lilian, Adil, Brandon
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Gwenda Hughes
Editor: Jeremy Howe

One of the trustees is coming later to talk about the damage to the painting, and Elizabeth has come to tell Freddie so. He wonders why she even told them about it, and she says it's a valuable piece of Lower Loxley property and she certainly isn't going to hide the costs involved. He feels there was no need to draw attention to it, but she felt it was better to be open about it, so 'Brandon' is coming at six. Since she thought Freddie had done it, he is worried in case Brandon thinks the same; she says she entertained the possibility for a very short time, which makes him snort. He is sure that if even his mother could think something like that, a stuffy old trustee also could: they already think he is just a jailbird drug-dealer. Elizabeth asserts that Brandon is a relatively new trustee and won't have those preconceptions; he's a lot younger than the others. too. Freddie is not convinced he won't assume Freddie damaged the painting, then asks if he can come to the meeting; Elizabeth agrees to check with Brandon if that is all right.

Adil is dropping his bag off at the Dower House, having been made unwelcome as soon as he finished breakfast at Ambridge Hall; Lilian sympathises, and more-or-less describes Lynda as a force of nature with whom it is pointless to argue. When she has set her mind on something, the easiest thing for 'we mere mortals' is just to get out of the way. Adil says that he has, and thanks her. She compliments him on his electric car and talks about her own: she is going for lunch in Exeter with an old friend from Guernsey. In fact she has to get going; Lianne is going to walk Ruby and Justin is away until Sunday, so he will have the run of the place.

When Freddie and Brandon are introduced to each other they seem to hit it off; Brandon has heard that Freddie is a DJ and knows a bit about that, then lets fall that though he has never worked the decks himself, his performing genre is rock, particularly prog. He plays electric guitar, which people don't seem to expect of a solicitor, and his bandmates are all professionals too. It's a great way to de-stress after a busy working day. He then calls the meeting to order and asks whether they are happy for him to take notes; Elizabeth answers for both that they are. He clarifies that the painting about which they are talking is the one about which questions were raised relating to the slave trade, which is why it had been removed to storage; Elizabeth says that although she has no idea how the damage occurred, it's possible that mistakes were made, and they could have handled the removal and storage more securely: obviously as the manager of the business she takes full responsibility.

On her return Lilian is somewhat less enamoured of the electric car than she was when she set out in the morning; lunch was fine, but finding somewhere to charge the car was a nightmare. She speaks of this difficulty at some length, until Adil says [not at all clunkily. Gus] that he always found it quite straightforward so long as you are organised and plan your recharging stops conservatively, to which she replies that next time she plans a long drive she wants to pack him in the boot. This disconcerts him, and she expands the idea: every electric car should come with an Adil. He thanks her, and when she asks what for says it has been a rather difficult day: when she asks whether it was work problems, he says no, it's the anniversary of his wife's death.

Brandon is establishing how many people actually handled the painting, and it comes out that Elizabeth doesn't know because she didn't in fact oversee the removal even though she told him earlier that she took full responsibility for the process. Freddie intervenes to say that his mother had no oversight because he was the one who supervising, which surprises Brandon. [And me: if that's the case why did Elizabeth not mention it when she was accusing Freddie of being responsible for the damage? Chris] Freddie explains that he didn't handle the painting himself, but he was there the whole time; Brandon says that puts rather a different complexion on things.

Lilian has brought Adil a cup of coffee with no sugar, and is very apologetic, though he says it's really all right; she feels awful for banging on about her journey when only three years ago he suffered such a tragedy. He agrees that it can still feel pretty raw, and when Lilian asks how it happened, if he doesn't mind her asking, he tells her that his wife was killed by a hit-and-run driver, and hearing about Jazzer's accident so close to the anniversary has been quite triggering. One notable contrast is that the driver in Jazzer's case stopped and helped; whoever it was who killed Sabah was never found. The thing that haunts Adil most of all is that she was waiting in a bus-queue she wouldn't have been in if Adil had collected her from the station as he had meant to do: if he'd left work on time it would never have happened. Lilian at once tells him that it's easy for her to say, and she had plenty of what-ifs over Jenny, but there's really nothing to be gained by thinking that sort of thing; Adil agrees that he knows that, theoretically. She goes on to tell him that she is not saying she knows how he feels, but she too was widowed very young, a very long time ago, and has had a wonderful life since; she's sure he will too. He thanks her, then adds that he doesn't normally tell people this; she promises not to breathe a word

Having established that someone is coming to assess the damage and that Elizabeth will let him know the outcome and probable cost, Brandon is now sitting in judgement about 'wider matters'. He is a father and understands a parent's desire to protect their child, but he was surprised that Elizabeth was willing to mislead him. He has to give Freddie credit for clarifying that; however, Freddie's opinions about the painting are a matter of record, and inevitably that raises questions about his diligence when supervising its removal. Freddie says levelly that he didn't damage it, and Brandon assures him that he is not suggesting that he did. Freddie says that Brandon doesn't trust him because he went to prison, and Brandon, while claiming that is not what he is saying, tells him that the incident has informed wider discussions which the trustees have been having for some time. Freddie asks what he means by 'wider', and Brandon reveals that while Freddie will be twenty-five in less than two years, and the original intention was that he should inherit the estate on his twenty-fifth birthday, Brandon is not convinced that by that date he will be ready to shoulder the considerable responsibilities of Lower Loxley. He intends to recommend to his colleagues that they review the age at which he will inherit. Freddie does not find being told that this is for his own good to be in the slightest comforting; after Brandon has left mother and son together at Elizabeth's request, Freddie tells her that he knew they had already made up their minds about him, and gives way to despair. Elizabeth tries to jolly him along, telling him that even if it does happen, which is not certain, it will take the pressure off him and maybe he could go travelling for a bit, or do some training [about bloody time she thought of that! Chris], but he is inconsolable: he's broken his back trying to prove himself, but one little blip that wasn't even his fault and look what happens! He's done with it. He's had enough, and he doesn't even think he cares any more.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 12th May, 2023

Rylan escapes, David makes himself plain and Helen has a quick panic.

Characters: Ben, David, Rylan, Mick, Lynda, Helen, Kirsty, a silent telephone caller
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Gwenda Hughes
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The tale of the Lower Loxley mess has been passed on by Ben to David, who finds it hard to believe that the trustees can simply decide to ignore the terms of Nigel's will: poor old Freddie. He reckons the field is ready for silage-making and will ask Stella when she can crack on with it, and after that he is going over to Bridge Farm. Just then he spots a stranger, who has encountered Bess; Ben calls Bess in and David says there is no right of way here, but the stranger's sat nav is on the blink. He introduces himself as Rylan, and Ben replies that he is Ben, Ben Archer, and this is his dad David. Oh, and the dog is Bess. At this point Rylan asks for directions to Ambridge Hall, which Ben says are complicated: though David clearly doesn't agree that they are, Ben suggests coming up to the farmhouse and they can draw him a map. He also offers a cup of tea.

In Brookfield kitchen Rylan is eating lemon drizzle cake, which he describes as 'next level'; Ben proudly tells him it was made by his ninety-two-year-old grandmother. Rylan loves the farmhouse kitchen vibe; David says that is actually what it is. The subject of the B&B comes up and Ben tells him the original plan was for him to stay with them, which puzzles David; Ben offers a sneak preview of their act, a lip-synched Sound of Music medley; Rylan suggests they will be the von Archer family and asks whether they are dressing up; apparently they aren't, though Ben says he tried his best but his mum wouldn't hear of it. Mick then knocks and comes in, and Rylan does remember him, and immediately [and with some relief. Chris] starts to talk with him; Ben asking how they know each other gives the opportunity for reminiscence about the time they had together four years ago when Rylan was MCing a show and Mick was on the lights. David excuses himself and leaves, Ben offers a cuppa to Mick, and Rylan tells Ben that the last time he saw Mick they were doing a tango down Stevenage High Street. The general hilarity is interrupted by an irate Lynda Snell, who greets 'Mr Clark' and apologises for his unscheduled detour; she seems put out when told by Ben that they have just been offering Rylan some farmhouse hospitality.

When Kirsty comes into the Bridge Farm shop Helen is apprehensive lest she wants another rehearsal, but she has just come to get something to have for tea. Helen is only there because Anya [a silent employee at the shop since June 2000. Chris] is at the dentist and as soon as she gets back Helen has to go to a planning meeting with the family about Rogation Sunday at Bridge Farm. They intend to beat the parish bounds where they match the farm boundary and then have a walk round with Alan leading prayers at various places, followed by refreshment in the Edible Garden. Whilst the two are chatting about this, David comes in and airs a grievance: the article about the light show in the Echo implies that he works at Bridge Farm, which has affronted him. He objects to being shown as promoting a farm not his own.

On the other side of Ambridge Lynda is also indignant, in her case because Ben invited Rylan to stay at Brookfield: it was a dishonourable suggestion and she reminds Ben how much trouble she has gone to to make sure Ambridge Hall was suitable to entertain one of Mr Clark's status; what, by throwing out one of your long-term guests? asks Ben pointedly. This disconcerts Rylan, who says he wouldn't feel comfortable knowing he was in someone else's room; Lynda tries to argue that it wasn't and isn't like that, to no avail. Ben says there is a room upstairs if Rylan wants it, and the conversation deteriorates, with Lynda accusing Ben of kidnapping and telling Rylan he should come with her at once. He declines to do so: he came for a bit of fun. If he wants to see people tear lumps out of each other he'll go down the pub on North London Derby Day. Lynda apologises, but Rylan appeals to Mick: can he kip at Mick's place? Mick says his place is a step away and not very big, but his partner Joy lives in the village and always has a room ready with the bed made up in case one of her family wants to stay, and she'd be delighted; perfect, says Rylan, let's just do that then. He thanks Ben for the cake, and when both Ben and Lynda ask him not to go says he thinks it's for the best: there's more drama here than X Factor and Big Brother put together. He flees, leaving Lynda saying 'oh dear' and Ben offering her some lemon drizzle.

At Bridge Farm Kirsty has managed to get David to talk about Rylan instead of his own injured pride, but he still wants to know what they are going to do about the caption under his photo in the Echo. It is agreed that he will ring up and try to get the reporter to sort out a clarification. Helen then mentions Adam's half-sister Erin, who is coming over to England for a hen-night next week and plans to visit Adam as well. David wonders whether they will all meet her, and apologises for having come on a bit strong, before taking his leave. Kirsty pays for her pie on her card, says she would like to come along on Sunday, and says she is keen to revive some of the old country traditions: she and Rex have been talking about how they don't just want to regenerate bio-diversity, there's also a whole cultural heritage in rural communities. Helen sighs about so-called progress, and Kirsty speaks of investigating some of the old Pagan festivals before taking her leave. Just after she is gone the shop phone rings, and when Helen answers it there is nobody on the other end: after asking who it is and getting no reply she puts the receiver down and starts to hyperventilate.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 14th May, 2023

Helen and Tony are both badly disappointed.

Characters: Alan, Harrison, Neil, Helen, Hannah
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Jeremy Howe
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The Rogation service is going on, with a short sermon from Alan and a bit of mooing in the background, followed by him advertising the nibbles afterwards. Harrison and Neil are very approving, and when Helen comes over to them Harrison tells her the Anguses loved the hymns, which amuses her. She was glad Alan said a prayer beside the dairy: she felt really protected. Harrison reckons Rylan was great yesterday, and Freddie was a good winner: his DJ set was underbart. [Swedish for wonderful. Chris] They are discussing the bell-ringing when Neil's phone rings and he decides to take it, since it is from Hannah. Helen encourages everyone to make their way to the edible forest garden, then asks Harrison if there is any news about Rob Titchener; unfortunately not, he tells her. She wants more detail: it was such a shock, just to hear him say her name. Harrison wants to be sure that was all he said: yes, just 'Helen' and 'is that you'; she was shaking so much she nearly dropped the phone. Harrison informs her that the number was withheld and it's not so clear cut: she replies indignantly that it was clear cut and he needs to be warned properly. [Whatever that's supposed to mean. Chris.] Harrison reminds her that the non-molestation order makes things very clear, but Helen is determined: he needs telling to stay away. No phone calls, no messages, nothing. She doesn't even want him thinking about them.

The phone call from Hannah is to tell Neil they are very short staffed at Berrow because of Jazzer's injury, and Neil assures her he will get over there now the service is over and will discuss the workload with her and Jodie when he gets there.

Tony and Helen are relaxing for ten minutes while Johnny and Pat man the refreshments, and he congratulates her on all her work having made everything go smoothly. Alan then appears and points out a parcel right behind them, which a courier delivered to him as soon as he had finished the service: he thinks the wrapping looks exciting and wants Tony to open it at once, since it is addressed to Mr T Archer. Helen thinks it might be a present for Jack's seventh birthday [he was born on 22nd May, 2016. Chris] and then when told that it isn't thinks Tony shouldn't open it, but he goes ahead anyway while Helen and Alan talk about the Ambridge Eurovision contest. When he finally gets it open, Alan sees that it's a lot of fancy baby-toys and works out that it must be for Tom and Natasha's girls, and Helen says they are all in Wales and won't be back until late evening, while Tony is noticeably silent. Alan goes to go on meeting and greeting, and Helen offers to put the parcel in her car, saying she'll drop it off at April Cottage later, but Tony doesn't think so. He's just seen the label: look who it's from.

When Neil gets to Berrow he finds that Hannah has sent Jodie home because she was dead on her feet, and Hannah feels the same. Jazzer's still on crutches and she can't see him coming back for weeks; Neil decides they'll just have to bring the interviews forward. He'll ring round and see if the candidates can come on Tuesday. They have two contacts of Hannah's, and Terry's mate in Darrington who can't afford to stay retired: he'll try them all and see who's free on Tuesday and hope someone will be able to start on Friday. Hannah hopes Martyn won't mind someone starting sooner than he expected, but Neil doesn't care if he does.

Helen has taken Tony into the packhouse to vent, so the congregation don't all hear about their family troubles. He is outraged about the company Shaeffer Baas in general and Tom having anything to do with them in particular, and when he discovers that Helen already knew about it he is furious with her as well. He can't think what made them agree to do it, and Helen suggests that it must have been a very substantial fee. He wants to know how much it was, and she says she didn't ask: she couldn't bring herself to, she was too angry. Tony can't believe Tom's trashed their entire business reputation for a few lousy quid. He wishes Helen had told him; she says she felt it was up to Tom to do it, then tells Tony that whatever the rights and wrongs of it, it isn't her fault. She says she has to go and thank Alan and say goodbye to everyone, and help Pat and Johnny clear up the refreshments; Tony tells her she'll have to do it alone, because he can't trust himself to speak politely to anyone right now. As she leaves he calls her back to tell her not to tell Tom he knows: he wants to deal with this in his own way. She agrees not to: she really doesn't want to get involved.

Helen thanks Alan, and he thanks her back for hosting the event; he is off home for a quick bite with Usha and then he is off to Hollerton. [Not one of his seven parishes. Chris.] After he is gone Harrison pulls Helen to one side and tells her that he has heard from his colleagues: Rob has been interviewed, and has denied making the call on Friday. Helen is certain that he did, and Harrison reports that it turns out he has a rock-solid alibi and couldn't have made the call. Helen knows that it was him: she knows his voice. Harrison can't go into detail, but Rob's alibi would have been checked thoroughly and they are very insistent it can't have been Rob. This might be good, he says, since it means he hasn't broken the terms of the non-mol; Helen points out that it is more worrying for her that he has broken it but hasn't been found out. This is what That Man is like: he's fooled them, hasn't he. Harrison tries to reason with her, but she is not to be appeased. He asks if she has spoken to her parents about it, but no, she doesn't want to worry them. It's clear he wants her to put them in the picture, but she refuses to. In that case he thinks all she can do is get on with things as normal, but she doesn't agree: the truth is, she can't rely on the police, can she. But she thanks Harrison, because this has proved something to her: That Man is still capable of deceiving everyone else, which means she has to be ready for him.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 15th May, 2023

The worm finally turns, and Adam receives a surprising request.

Characters: Ian, Adam, Tom, Tony, Natasha, Brian
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Jeremy Howe
Editor: Jeremy Howe

In a telephone discussion it is agreed that Weaver is not going to be allowed upstairs, and definitely not onto Xander's bed; Ian wouldn't mind, but Adam is laying down rules. Stella will be bringing the dog round later to get used to Honeysuckle Cottage: Ian expects Adam to tell Xander she is not allowed on his bed, since Ian doesn't mind. Adam has arranged to have pub lunch with Brian at twelve-thirty: would Ian fancy joining them? Adam hasn't seen Brian for a while and is still 'unsettled about how he behaved at the dinner party'; Ian instantly interprets this as his not being prepared to discuss his will. Ian doesn't think that meant anything, but Adam asserts that Brian was 'deliberately evasive' [This is Adam-speak for 'told us point-blank that he was not going to tell us'. Chris] when it would have been so easy just to say. Adam might try again today.

When Tony goes over to April Cottage Tom at first greets him effusively, but Tony is not interested in presents from Wales, including Welsh fudge from Natasha's mum, nor does he return Natasha's enthusiastic greeting: instead he tells Tom that he has a present for him. It's a parcel that was delivered to the farm yesterday. From Shaeffer Baas. When Tom's reaction is a groaned 'oh, no' Tony informs them that 'oh no' sums it up, and asks where to put it: they certainly don't want it at Bridge Farm. He dumps it on top of the wheelie bin and says Tom can decide whether his daughters, Pat and Tony's granddaughters, are going to play with the proceeds of Tom betraying his entire family. Natasha invites Tony to come in to talk about it, but says bitterly that he won't, thank you, until he has heard some kind of explanation. Natasha makes excuses about refusing until they saw how much money was at stake, which fails to placate Tony, as does being told the money was to set the girls up for the future; she starts to flounder in the face of his silence, and Tom tries to stop her, but is too late. So, Tom, just so Tony is clear, is that why Tom did it too: for the money?

Adam has bought Brian a pint of Shire's. He is sticking to orange juice himself because he and Johnny will be harvesting strawberries in the afternoon and he is very tired: Xander keeps waking them to ask when Weaver will be there. Brian laughingly tells him they'll have to get their own dog whether this works out or not. Stella is not spraying the wheat, and Adam is delighted and feels vindicated; after a little to and fro Brian gets him to admit that pesticides can sometimes be useful, though he also says it's a relief to him to work on Bridge Farm with no-one insisting that chemicals are the answer to everything. He then brings the subject round to Brian's will via Alice still trying to give the grandchildren money and everyone turning it down. Brian expresses surprise that Adam thought him put out when Alice asked about his will, and explains that Jenny dying has made him reflect on everything, and until he's thought about it properly... Adam cuts him off and says that's fine, understood. The talk moves on to how Adam now feels about Paddy, and he mentions Erin's proposed visit and asks whether Brian would like to see her if he is free on Thursday when Adam shows her round the village; Brian is delighted, but wonders whether Adam doesn't already have enough half-sisters giving him all shades of strife.

The row at April Cottage has continued, with Tony's righteous fury not in the least abated. He refuses to come in, but simply tells Tom and Natasha exactly what he thinks of their behaviour and what they have done; he knew the modelling would end in tears, vanity always does. Natasha breaks out at that and exclaims that it's not vanity, but Tony really isn't interested and continues his diatribe. Natasha tells him the photos and footage can only be used overseas and tries to tell him not to worry, which also has no effect. Tony again demands an explanation from Tom rather than a list of pathetic excuses, and doesn't get one; instead Natasha tells him they are so sorry they upset him, to which Tony ripostes that it was pure, unadulterated greed, and Tom says this is getting silly: they've said they're sorry, they can't undo it though he wishes they could (to which Natasha says 'Tom' in a warning voice), but they are where they are. They've put their hands up; what more can they do? Tony can't believe what he's hearing: he's never been so disappointed in anyone.

Ian has come to The Bull because the man he was meant to be meeting about a beer festival has got covid; Adam and Brian greet him. He just bumped into Stella at the shop and she said they'd been let down for when she goes on holiday; Brian didn't know, but when he checks his phone there is an email telling him that the chap from Gloucester who was meant to be covering for Stella can't do it after all. Does Adam fancy helping out next week? Adam isn't sure: he's already taking two days off this week for Erin, and it's incredibly short notice. Ian encourages him to ask Tony, but Adam says tempers are very high at Bridge Farm today and he and Johnny are treading on eggshells. Brian tells him not to worry; he's sure he'll manage.

Later in the day, when Tom seeks out his father, Tony is busy, using a power tool to fix a stile, and not interested in turning it off to listen to more of the same excuses from Tom. Tom has been to see Mum, and reiterates how unbelievably sorry he and Natasha are that it's turned out like this; Tony retorts that he means they are sorry they were found out. Tom wants to know why Tony can't let him say sorry; Mum accepted it. Tony doubts it; she was as angry as he was. Tom tells him how horrible the photo-session was, to which his reply is that Tom and Natasha could have left. Tom says they would probably have been sued if they did, which Tony rather doubts. Tom than falls back on claiming that because Natasha was poor when she was growing up, she wanted the girls to have a nest egg, and that they both felt dreadful afterwards, and have agreed that's the end of the modelling. He claims that he wouldn't do anything to harm Bridge Farm, which is at the centre of everything he does; they messed up, they're sorry, what else can they do? Tony doesn't know, but he also doesn't know how they can trust him, or how they can keep on working with someone who makes decisions like this, and thinks they can just apologise and it will all be forgotten. Horrified, Tom asks what he is saying: Tony replies that he doesn't think he can work with Tom any more He never thought he would say that; but he's sorry, there it is.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 16th May, 2023

Adam and George are delighted; Neil emphatically is not.

Characters: Adam, Alice, Kate, Neil, Martyn, George
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Jeremy Howe
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Just as Adam is about to leave to meet Erin, Kate and Alice come up to him: Alice says that Kate thought he needed a pep-talk about getting a new sister. He laughs at them and says he'll be fine so long as she turns up; they are both indignant at the idea she might not, and they are dying to meet her. He tells them she's coming over on Thursday and he'll invite them then; they are very pleased. He says he has to go, and Kate wants to know where he is meeting Erin and criticises the choice of venue, The Black Pike; Adam thanks her for her sisterly support and gets into the car.

Just as Neil is about to start the interviews for the job at Berrow Martyn Gibson appears and announces that he intends to sit in . He chooses to sit in Neil's chair, and is firmly told that is where Neil will be sitting and offered a spare seat elsewhere. Neil tells Martyn they have strong candidates, including one recommended by Tony Archer; Gibson is dismissive about that and when challenged suggests that people may give recommendations for all sorts of reasons other than thinking their candidate is appropriate for the job. Neil says that is not his experience, not round Ambridge, and asks whether Martyn would recommend someone who wasn't good; when Martyn says that would depend who he was talking to, Neil is horrified and incredulous. Still, they are running late and Neil wants to get on with the interviews, so he makes no further comment except to bemoan the lack of Jazzer, who has a way with animals; Martyn remarks slimily that other people have too, and with slight exasperation Neil goes to invite the first candidate, Sarah, to come through.

Adam and Erin are getting on very well together, especially when she tells him that like him, she is connected with charities in Africa. He envies her having worked in a place where she also had a social life, and then she suddenly asks whether he is definitely gay; when he says that he is indeed, she points out two women by the bar who can't take their eyes off him. It's Kate and Alice. Erin is greatly amused, and reminds him that he said they were fussing, to which Adam rejoins that he didn't expect them to follow him. He shouts over that they have been rumbled, and Erin calls out 'hello!'

After the expected candidates have been interviewed Neil is keen to employ one of them, but Martyn quibbles about their appearance and and criticises Neil's haste and drags his feet until there is a knock on the door; when Martyn says 'come' George Grundy walks in. He is explained to Neil as 'our final candidate', and when Neil says he doesn't understand, Martyn says that he thinks George is the solution they've been waiting for.

Kate is trying to make out that she does as much for a charity in Africa as Erin does, though Alice points out that Kate has given up the charity in South Africa. Adam finds Kate somewhat embarrassing, and tells Erin to ignore her: she's an acquired taste. Kate is unrepentant about their having spied on Adam, though Alice apologises; Erin says she does understand, and after all she could have been some mad woman. She has to go, because her mate in Hereford is expecting her back; she'll be over again on Thursday. Adam has given her the postcode and she'll find it on her phone. The new half-siblings have a hug and Erin goes on her way. After she's gone Adam asks whether they don't think she's fantastic, and says that he can't wait to visit her in Ireland and see where Paddy lived out his days; Alice asks when he's going. He hasn't yet suggested the idea but he thought he and Erin could talk dates on Thursday. He's very happy with the idea of a whole new family, and Kate says she is jealous: she'd love a fabulous sister like that. When Alice says 'hey!' Kate merely says 'no offence' and continues that Alice and Debbie can't compete with Erin's commitment to helping people, or her sheer energy. Alice says that she is Adam's sister, not Kate's, and Adam says 'hands off my new sister'; as they are joking together Alice gets a message on her phone which Kate insists on seeing; she snatches the phone and reveals that it is from Phoebe and says 'Alice, if you keep asking for my bank details I'll block your number.' Adam says he will do the same and Xander doesn't need her money. Kate adds that Noluthando and Sipho don't either, and in a touching display of family unanimity Kate and Adam tell Alice to stop it. She concedes, if they are absolutely certain: they chorus 'we are'.

At the interview it is clear that George doesn't know anything like as much as he thinks he does, but Martyn glides over all his shortcomings and even practical reasons, such as him still being at college, not to offer him the job. Not only does Neil not want to give the job to his grandson, preferring the candidate he chose, he definitely doesn't want George living in his house in order to get round the fact that Eddie keeps pigs and bio-security would mean George couldn't live at Grange Farm and work at Berrow, but Martyn bulldozes him, telling him that it won't be for long [and why does he reckon that? Chris] and insists on them employing his protégé. He then breezes out, and George thanks his Grandad and says that he won't let him down; 'I'm sure you won't,' replies Neil, with feeling and a degree of menace.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 17th May, 2023

Pat calls the shots, and Tom makes an empty threat.

Characters: Pat, Helen, Tom, Natasha, Tony
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Jeremy Howe
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The goats have been being milked again [they have become more vocal recently. Chris] and Helen finds Pat letting Scarlet out; Pat warns her that Susan is not happy about having George landed on her as a house-guest for the foreseeable future. Pat asks whether Jack's friends at his birthday party on Sunday would enjoy seeing her goats, and Helen says she is sure they would but there will be only two of them; Helen doesn't feel like having more. Pat wishes that Helen didn't have all this worry on her plate, then adds that they can do without other ludicrous distractions: Helen is startled, but of course Pat doesn't mean her, she means that Tom came to try to explain to her and she really thought he was going to cry because Tony wouldn't accept his apology and said he couldn't see how they could carry on working together. Helen exclaims at this, and Pat says she was shocked too; when she asks whether Tom has said anything to Helen, Helen says she just wants to stay out of it completely. Pat says that business-wise they have to keep their eye on the ball with the financial climate so uncertain: Tom and Dad have to come together for the future of the farm. Helen offers to have a word, but Pat says no, she's right to stay out of it; Pat will try again. Helen's father has to see sense or things will become unbearable.

Meanwhile, Tom is avoiding Tony and not going to get on with any work at Bridge Farm until he thinks his father will be out of the way. He is upset that his father has not immediately forgiven the betrayal of everything Tony has ever stood for, and he doesn't know what he is supposed to do. Natasha suggests he should keep going as normal, but adds that working with family is so hard because any upset is twenty-four seven. Tom starts to hanker after it being just the two of them, so that if they messed up they'd only have each other to answer to, and contrasts their present state with that of their parents, who stood alone. They don't realise how hard it is. [And he doesn't know he is born. They did not stand to inherit several hundred thousand pounds' worth of farm. Chris] Natasha agrees that she felt energised when she started Summer Orchard. stepping into the unknown to stand or fall by her own ideas. Speaking of which, the new batch of labels are wrong and she is going to take the twins up to Sawyers to take a look for herself. Tom says he'll come too and have a word with Maurice, and she warns him he'll have to face his dad some time. It seems that what Tom can't cope with is Tony's disappointment; has he got to prove himself again as he has done a million times already? [Name one. Just one. Chris.] Tom is running the farm ('with Helen' interposes Natasha) and Tony is supposed to have stepped back. Natasha points out that it is Tony's farm, and being dictated to by Tony is inevitable when all Tom's assets are tied up in it, and his inheritance. Tom continues regardless: it would be totally different if they had their own place. Natasha says that's a nice dream, but before he suggests moving to Wales, she and Mum would throttle each other within a week. Tom says he has seen something on line about an organic market garden near Evesham for sale. He denies that he is thinking about it, and in the same breath says there is no harm in looking into it.

Pat has taken her chance to tear Tony off a strip for upsetting her and given him his orders: there is only one solution to this, and that is that he has to get past it. Tony reasonably enough points out that it's not him who messed up; Pat agrees that it was Tom and Natasha – they don't know what rôle she played – to which Tony retorts that she is not to try saying Tom's been led astray: he knew what he was doing! Pat appears to think that Tom having been unhappy for two days because he was caught out behaving intolerably is punishment enough, and he has tried making peace with Tony; in any case they are supposed to be retired and Tom is the one getting to grips with the land management scheme, and although Tony has lost faith in Tom, the one person whose feelings really matter at the moment is Helen, and their children run the farm now: they are the future of this place, not Pat and Tony.

Evesham is a brilliant location, according to Tom, and he fantasises a bit before Natasha pulls him back to earth by pointing out that no-one is going to loan them that sort of money. As Tom admits it wouldn't be cheap, Tony comes up and apologises for having flown off the handle the other day. He's had a chat with Pat and she thinks they should try to be more open about things. Tony seems to be trying to make peace and is therefore placatory; Tom grunts rather than replying to that. Tony is not letting him off the hook: he continues along the same line, that Tom has failed to be there on two important occasions, one of them for the modelling job for Shaeffer Baas. Rather than actually apologising Tom immediately starts to self-justify by saying they did help with the preparation for both the opening and Rogation Sunday. Natasha says they should have discussed the Shaeffer Baas offer. Anyway, says Tony, us at each other's throats will damage the farm more ('absolutely' grunts Tom) and it's the farm they need to focus on ('absolutely' says Natasha brightly). It's about surviving the challenges, Tony ploughs doggedly on, and he is sorry he said what he said, because he's sure they can rub along if they try. What does Tom say? Natasha exclaims that it's brilliant, doesn't Tom reckon? 'Uh, sure,' says Tom. Natasha thanks Tony.

Back at the farm, Pat tells Helen that Dad finally agreed to go and speak [she means grovel. Chris] to Tom, so there is a sort of truce, fingers crossed. Helen and Pat discuss what the police ought to be doing about Rob: Helen feels they are not getting enough protection. Pat asks if Jess has heard from him but Helen doesn't know: she assumes not because Jess hasn't said. Pat then suggests that Tony is angry with Tom because he is feeling out of control and Tom's behaviour was the last straw; Helen apologises and is instantly told she hasn't done anything. In any case, says Pat, they need to follow Helen's example: if she can stay so calm in this so can they. When Helen says she doesn't feel very strong Pat tells her she is the strongest woman Pat knows.

The talk outside Sawyers continues, with Tony saying that since Helen is Tom's business partner ... Tom interrupts to say that he knows, and they will be OK. The important thing, according to Tony, is that this isn't going to happen again, because Tom's learnt his lesson. I have, agrees Tom. Tony expresses surprise because Tom is usually so protective of the Bridge Farm brand, even more than Pat and Tony. I know, says Tom. So hypocritical, says Tony; anyway, good to clear the air. 'Indeed,' pipes up Natasha. As Tony announces he will head off, Tom decides to say something 'in the interests of being open', and tells him that he and Natasha are considering looking at a property in Evesham. Tony thinks he has misheard, and Natasha doesn't want to talk about it now but Tom carries on: Tony has got them thinking, and maybe a different set-up would suit them all better. Natasha tells Tony not to worry because it is just a pipe-dream, and Tom tells Tony that he thinks he and Natasha have as much drive as Pat and Tony did; he wants it out there so no-one is surprised down the line if an opportunity arose elsewhere and they went for it. They're ambitious, as Tony knows. Yes, well, thanks for telling me, is Tony's quiet response: he'll leave them to it. As soon as he is out of earshot, Natasha demands why on earth Tom said that, and is told it was because that's how he feels, and Tony wanted them to be more honest. They have the right to make their own decisions, just like Pat and Tony, and if they can't make them here then they can make them somewhere else.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 18th May, 2023

In which Emma and Adam show themselves to be equally blind.

Characters: George, Emma, Erin, Adam, Neil, Brian
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Jeremy Howe
Editor: Jeremy Howe

It seems that, as well as all his other endearing behaviour, George is involved in online gambling; just as Emma comes into his room at Ambridge View he loudly gets out of a game he has lost and is instantly told by her not to make so much noise when his grandad is trying to eat in peace. She wants to know why he is on his console when he ought to be in college, but he swiftly says it isn't practical work any more, all just careers research which he doesn't need any more does he. [Having decided on impulse to be a pig-man all his life? Chris.] She then spends a while lecturing him on the basic good manners of an uninvited house-guest, telling him to unpack and put things away tidily and then doing it for him, and instructing him about doing his own washing. He tells her that Nana wants to do that, but Emma says that if he is old enough to have a proper job, and old enough for Oliver to want to invest in him, he is old enough to wash his own undies. He asserts that if his best gear gets messed up [ie. if he messes it up. Chris] she can pay for it, which she immediately makes clear she will not do. She tells him to wash up his bowl after breakfast even if Nana does have a dishwasher, or at least to offer to. She does sweeten the pill by telling him she is proud of him for getting a proper job, and also for having told the truth about Caroline's bench, unlike Brad. George complains that Brad is still ghosting him, which Emma says is Brad's problem: George was mature enough to be honest. George further complains that Auntie Tracy and Jazzer keep giving him weird looks, at which Emma comments that she hopes Tracy isn't going to be funny about her hen night. Emma asks how he is getting on with the fund-raising for Caroline's charity, and George clearly isn't but claims he'll show her at the weekend. She prepares to leave, as a Parthian shot informing him that she has told Nana to kick him out if he doesn't keep the place nice; he says they would never kick him out, he's their favourite.

Erin is apologising to Adam for messing up his plans: she can't stay for the day because her friend has booked a spa session for them and she has to leave at two to get to it. He suggests there will be another time, and asks to know more about Paddy, who sounds as if he was a pretty good dad. She tells him a bit more: Paddy took her for walks, and was able to play 'Danny Boy' on a blade of grass. She wishes she had filmed him. Adam thanks her for some photos she emailed to him and which he will get printed up. She tells him he has the exact same expression as Paddy when he isn't happy, and that she thinks Paddy always secretly wanted a son. [In spite of not trying to get in touch with the one he knew he had. Chris.] He dearly loved her and Ma but whenever he wanted to watch his Gaelic football team he had to go down the pub because they couldn't care less. However, when Adam mentions rugby she instantly claims that Paddy was a massive rugby fan as well and would have loved to go to a match with Adam. She then apologises for not making it any better, and he remarks that he has ended up losing both his parents in a matter of months, which she exclaims is awful; but at least they have met up and she's filled him in a bit about Paddy. She then produces holiday snaps from her childhood, which she says will blow his mind.

Emma has dragged George downstairs to say things to Neil, who is trying to have his lunch in peace according to her. When severely prompted George says that he really appreciates whet they are doing for him, and he promises to help round the house, and also thanks for helping to get him the job. Neil refuses any credit for that, and truthfully says that the one who insisted on employing George was Martyn Gibson. It will be Grandad who is training him up though, says Emma; Neil is unsure about that too, since it depends on the rota: it could be him, or it could be Hannah. He's sure whichever it is, George will do his best. And he will pay rent, adds Emma; George is very much opposed to this, since no-one mentioned it before, but Emma is determined and Neil says it would be very welcome and thanks George with great sincerity.

A picture of one of Paddy's sandcastles from the beach holiday is enthralling to Adam, who bemoans the fact that there is so much he doesn't know about Paddy. Erin announces that she has to go in a minute and asks whether he would like copies of the articles about Paddy's sandcastle from the local newspaper if she can find them, and he says yes, or she could show them to him when he visits. She says 'Sorry?' and he suggests that he and Ian could come over to Dublin in the summer and she could take them round Paddy's favourite haunts before they visit Ian's family in Antrim. This is clearly not an idea she welcomes, and she makes several, increasingly flimsy, excuses until Adam says it was just an idea, and then after a slightly awkward pause and with further wishes that he could have met her da says she had better head off or she'll be late for their spa, and escapes.

Emma has come outside to thank Neil again on his way to work, because she is certain that, whatever George thinks about Martyn having done it, it was Neil who did it. He denies it completely, saying that Martyn had even prepped George for the interview, and she is surprised but says that was nice of Martyn. Neil tries to get through to her that George will be very much a trainee, since he has no experience, but she is sure it's a good sign that the likes of Martyn Gibson think he will go far; Neil says dubiously that he's not sure Martyn Gibson is the best rôle model. She says Oliver thinks a lot of George too, and George is really making something of himself: who'd have thought it?

Adam has gone to see Brian and is being coaxed to accept a glass of scotch: Brian thinks he looks as if he needs it. Adam admits to feeling a bit deflated: Erin was so friendly, and they had lots of things in common, so he thought they'd really bonded, but he must have misread the situation. Brian does his best to reassure him about it just being one of those things, and then gives him a comprehensive pep talk about what a great brother and dad and husband he is, and a wonderful son to Jenny and a fantastic stepson to him. Adam is a thoroughly decent chap and a lot better to his family that Brian has ever been, asserts Brian. Adam asks how much whisky he has drunk, and Brian claims that he is perfectly sober, and he is to stop doubting himself because no-one else does. Adam says he'd better have a top-up if Brian is going to carry on like this, and then turns the subject to whether Brian is all set for when Stella is on holiday; Brian hopes so, though he hasn't been near the farm office since Jennifer died. He just hopes he doesn't mess up Stella's IT system. Adam offers to have a word with Tony to see whether he can spare him for a few days next week; Brian is touched and promises not to have a row with him more than once a week, but Adam laughs and says they need to have at least two differences of opinion a day or it will be no fun at all.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 19th May, 2023

George and Helen are each faced with someone they weren't expecting.

Characters: Tom, Natasha, Helen, Hannah, George, Miles
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Jeremy Howe
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The organic market garden in Evesham is still on Tom's mind; he is talking about the reasons for its sale, while Natasha gets on with some work at the shop and at the same time points out to him that if they bought it they would have all the same problems as the present owner. In spite of not wanting to move, Natasha has spoken to her contact about finances and been told there are specialist lenders out there now; she also admits that the Vale of Evesham would be perfect for her Summer Orchard, but points out they would have a massive childcare problem. It is when she is castigating Tom for the suggestion of nursery and asking if he has seen the fees that Helen walks in looking for some produce and gets hold of the wrong end of the stick, assuming that they can't afford child-care for the twins and offering them perhaps one day a week at the expense of the business. Natasha asks about Jack's birthday party and is told it is no longer to be at Bridge Farm: Lee has booked bowling instead: she'll email them the details. Helen then goes back to the question of child-care and rather than leave her in her confusion Tom elects to put his cards on the table and in spite of a warning 'Tom!' from Natasha to tell her that he and Natasha have been looking at a market garden for sale near Evesham. Helen is unsure she understood, Natasha says that it is pie in the sky, and after a little explanation of why they might want to leave she throws a wobbly, exclaiming that they can't go, it's out of the question, they can't even consider it, not now! and bursting into tears [while hyperventilating as has become her wont of late. Chris] and shrieking that she is right at the end of her tether with everything and that would just push her completely.... Natasha asks whether she is OK and gets her to sit down, and she is at once able to pull herself together and apologise before explaining that she is fine, she just needs to tell Mum they're not having a party at the house because she doesn't know yet. Natasha asks why the last minute change of plan, and Helen says 'He rang me' and when Tom demands 'When?' tells them it was last Friday.

At Berrow George has kept Hannah waiting while he changes into his overalls, and being kept waiting has not led to her being in a good mood with him. He wants to know where Neil is, and what his tasks for the day are; Hannah tells him crisply that his first 'task' is to clean some pens and he is to get cracking, and he tells her she has got it wrong because he is on the outdoor unit where he did three days' work experience. She can hardly believe her ears, but swiftly sets him straight: they don't need him in the outdoor unit. Then she laughs at him when he suggests Martyn Gibson might need him in the office. He is going to be in the indoor unit, with her. It's hard work: he'll be mucking out the pens, pressure washing and disinfecting, checking the troughs, loads of things, so she'll write him a list. He stammers that he thought he'd be working with Grandad, and she tells him that no, he'll be working for her, full time.

Incredulity at the cheek of Rob has gripped Tom, and Natasha wants to know why He hasn't been arrested; Helen says they say He has a rock solid alibi, but she knows it was Him. She would have told them, but she was worried about Mum and Dad, and how they'd react, but please, someone needs to tell Mum to stop cleaning! It's stressing her out. Tom tries to argue and is sharply ordered, by Natasha, to go and do that; he says he will tell her it's because Jack loves bowling. Helen explains that Lee thinks they might be less of a sitting target away from the farm, and Natasha exclaims in horror at the idea that Rob might come to the farm: Helen says that He's trying to make contact, and Jack's birthday party seems the obvious time. If He can phone her just like that and get an alibi He can do anything; she clearly has little faith in Harrison, though she concedes he is doing his best. She implores Tom to go and talk to Mum: she needs that sorted so she can think clearly. Natasha instructs him to go the back way and he goes on his errand; Natasha takes the opportunity to grovel to Helen about their having made everything worse by ignoring her about the modelling and causing so many problems for everyone, but Helen doesn't care about that now. Helen feels that He is pushing her into a corner, and she is trying not to feel trapped; Natasha is very sympathetic, and Helen confirms that she must stay calm, because if there is one thing that she learned from Him it is that all the confusion and anxiety and fear He creates totally screws with your mind.

Hannah continues to instruct George, who tries to exert his masculine superiority and fails completely; she laughs at his work experience, and is scathing about his knowledge of pigs. She tells him she had worked with two of the other candidates for the job he got and they really knew their stuff, which would have made her life way easier; George says he is way stronger than the other candidates, two of whom were birds. As might be expected this does not go down well with Hannah, who asks whether he got the job purely on merit, nothing to do with him being much cheaper. Martyn Gibson's saving a packet employing a teenager: the rate for the job's a lot less than for grown-ups. She suggests that he use his superior strength to clean out the pen, and she'll come back and check when he's done: she's sure he'll make a good cleaner.

Natasha has brought Helen a glass of water and continues with a pep talk for Helen; that piece of ... he won't come anywhere near her and the boys, and there's a kidnapping charge about to hit him. As they talk someone comes into the shop, and Natasha thinks it is Lynda come to fetch an order and goes through to serve her.

Only it's not Lynda: it is a man who says he is looking for Helen Titchener. Natasha hysterically tries to throw him out of the shop and threatens to call the police, making such a noise that Helen comes through [rather than running for help as anyone with sense would do. Chris] and recognises – not Rob, but his brother Miles [whom she had never met. Chris]. Natasha asks whether she is dialling 999 or not, and Miles says he will sue her for common assault: she can't push innocent people around. Helen cuts to the chase, asking him what the hell he is doing there; he says what he was going to tell her on the phone when she cut him off. [So much for her knowing with certainty that it was Rob. Chris.] Natasha asks whether Helen wants him out, and he tells her he is leaving as soon as he has said what he has come to say. Helen says she is not interested in anything Rob has to say, and Miles claims Rob doesn't know he's there: he's not the man he was, and their mother's painful death made it difficult for Rob and Miles; now circumstances have changed, and Rob would dearly like to see his son. even under official supervision. Circumstances might have changed for the Titcheners, Helen tells him, but they haven't changed one iota for her and her children. When Natasha tries to intervene he tells her that he is not talking to her, and appeals to Helen, who says no, no, no with increasing firmness; he tries to tell her she doesn't understand and she says that it will always be a no: he is to tell his brother that he will never lay eyes on her children again. Never. Now get out.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 21st May, 2023

Chris is in demand, and Helen is (still) in a tizz.

Characters: Adam, Tom, Helen, Lee, Chris, Ian
Credited scriptwriter:
Daniel Thurman
Director:
Jess Bunch
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Adam and Tom are first to arrive for a cricket match against Little Croxley, whom Adam thinks have tended to be a weak team though he's been told they have a new player who is good, name of Botham but probably no relation. Tom is slightly surprised that Adam is playing, having thought he might go with Ian and Xander to Jack's birthday party, but Adam is aware that the idea was to keep the party small, and also that Helen must be feeling very unsettled to know that Rob's in the country. Tom hopes a day out in Borchester will be a distraction. Tom is not really in the mood for cricket, and is not particularly looking forward to captaining a team against Tracy next week in a twenty20 match. It's a change from single wicket; Adam suggests it will be nice to play in teams rather than individually, and Tom is glad he has Adam in his team, with Johnny and Pip. Adam asks about Chris, whom Tom ought to ask before Tracy gets to him. With the three of them on the team they should be unbeatable. Tom reckons his optimism means he must be getting on well at Home Farm, and Adam has been enjoying just getting on with things: he's been having a great time. When Tom says they don't want him to go back to Home Farm for good Adam laughs and says today is meant to be a respite from farming; Tom says he would love to have one. Adam jollies him along a bit and they agree their two priorities for the day are one, destroy Little Croxley and two, recruit Chris to their team.

Her son's happy day out, his birthday treat, is only marred by Helen fussing and being constantly insecure. Nothing pleases her: the pub has too many people at it and is too busy, and their table is too far from the play area. She wonders whether they should have stuck to the original plan. Lee does his best but is unable to stop her from worrying, or in fact from attacking him for not entering sufficiently into her every feeling. She works herself up thoroughly: as she accurately says, if anything is likely to spoil the day, it's her.

At the cricket Chris Carter is having an excellent innings, and Tom definitely wants him on their team. He is then caught out for 44. Tracy is in next, so while she is busy is a good time for Tom and Adam to grab Chris and get him for their team. They are unsuccessful; he has already agreed to play for Tracy's.

The dog Weaver has come along with Ian and Xander; Helen continues to fuss and shout instructions to Henry, and hasn't even looked at the menu. Ian asks about dates for the San Francisco trip, and Lee tells him they have decided on the Christmas holidays; Helen is silent about the plan. Then she wants to move to a table that is about to be vacated, but Lee points out that as soon as the food is ordered it will be coming to the number of the table they are already at [why? If they haven't yet ordered, can't they just order as from the other table? Chris]. Then Helen can't see her purse, which is under the coats instead of in plain sight on the table as she was certain it was [just as she was certain the voice on the phone was Rob's. Chris], and has yet another crisis; she now doesn't know what she was thinking when she suggested this place and starts to become shrill and peremptory. Ian manages to persuade her, in spite of initial reluctance to be pleased by any suggestion, to go back to Honeysuckle Cottage, where he will make pizzas to everyone's special order. [Does this include the other children who were to go bowling with Jack, Henry and Xander? Chris]

The match has been won, but Tom is now downcast because he failed to get Chris Carter on his team. After Adam finishes changing and goes home Tom has another go at persuading Chris, with the same lack of success as before: Chris has given his word and is not going to let Tracy down. When Chris says his hands are tied, Tom decides that he'll have to handle it: if Chris can't stand up to Tracy, he'll have to do it for him. [Insufferable little git. Gus]

Helen is grateful to Ian for his kindness, and Lee full of praise for his cooking ability; Ian has provided a few balloons and party games too. They are all having a wonderful time, and Helen kisses Ian's cheek to thank him. Ian says 'Any time' and Helen then goes to see what the children are up to, leaving Lee to express his admiration (in a low voice) for the way that Ian knew how to handle Helen's sensitivity; Lee just seemed to keep saying the wrong thing. Ian reassures him that he should not be too hard on himself: he is there for Helen, and that's the most important thing. Lee just wants Helen to be secure, which Ian thinks impossible with things as they are; at this crucial moment Adam gets home and Ian's calming advice is broken off. Lee goes to assemble the ice cream plates [does this mean 'serve the ice-cream and whatever is with it'? Chris] and Adam and Ian say they'll join him in a minute. In his absence Adam tells Ian he's been a bit of a hero by the looks of it, and Ian says where they were wasn't really working; when Adam asks anxiously whether Helen is all right, Ian responds that she will be, but it was just a bit of a struggle today. Adam isn't surprised, and Ian just wishes they could do more for her, stop this whole awful thing: she doesn't deserve it. Adam says that at least today seems to have done her good, but Ian can't help worrying what's next.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 22nd May, 2023

Hen-night plans, and headless chickens.

Characters: Susan, Tracy, Jazzer, Tony, Pat, Helen
Credited scriptwriter:
Daniel Thurman
Director:
Jess Bunch
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Susan has come round to discuss with Tracy and Jazzer about organising Tracy's hen night and discovers that Jazzer will be on crutches for another eight weeks. She also mentions a public meeting on Saturday about the charging station, in which Tracy shows no interest whatever. Jim is said to be obsessed with the subject. Over a cup of tea she tells them she has rallied the troops: Chelsea, Lynda, Jolene, Emma – which last name seems to make Tracy a little apprehensive. There's only one problem: they still haven't decided where they're going.

At Bridge farm the Montys are bulling, but Tony plans to go indoors to ring up and pester 'the officer in the case' about referring Jack's 'kidnapping' case to the Crown Prosecution Service. Now that they know Rob wants to see him, they have to protect Jack. Pat can't believe that Miles just turned up in the way he did; Tony points out that he is a Titchener and therefore wouldn't have thought for a moment about the effect on Helen. She sounded a bit brighter this morning, so perhaps Jack's birthday party did her good. Tom too seems in a better mood, which Pat attributes to the cricket yesterday and determination to win the T20 match on Sunday; Tony is glad he has something else to focus on. Pat wonders, if That Man's charged with kidnapping, and it does go to court – Tony breaks in to say it's not a case of 'if', just when – then Pat continues her thought: will she have to testify again? Tony thinks they might both have to, and he won't be holding back either. This is their chance to make sure Helen gets justice. The only thing giving Tony comfort at the moment is the thought of Rob behind bars; Pat thinks it sounds as if there is some way to go, but he is sure the CPS will decide to prosecute. Pat points out that they've had no official word yet, and she just doesn't want them to get ahead of themselves, but Tony says there is nothing wrong with thinking positively.

The suggestion that George is promising to raise money for charity seems improbable to Jazzer, which offends Susan; it is to be for Follow Your Star, Caroline's favourite charity, which helps foster-children have new experiences. George has not given her any details of what he is going to do yet, but Susan thinks it's lovely that he wants to make it up with Oliver. Tracy isn't interested in praising George, and asks what else is on Susan's list of possible venues; Susan offers suggestions (pottery class, chocolate making class) which don't interest Tracy, who thinks they sound expensive. Susan is worried: organising this is meant to be part of her wedding present to Tracy. Tracy wants to go away and think about it, but Susan needs a decision, today. She is not leaving until they've settled on something.

Helen is trying to stop Pat from going on about Rob by talking about all their plans for the summer, and manages to sound properly enthusiastic about those; Pat plays along. Tony then comes in with a letter that has just been delivered to the farmhouse for Helen: it is from Rob's solicitor Stephen South, and says that Rob wants access to Jack. He is making a formal request. Tony says he can request all he likes: it's not happening and the bottom line is he'll never see Jack again. Pat is more concerned about Helen, who doesn't see why His solicitor would have sent the letter if there is no chance of gaining access. Why would he follow instructions if there is no possibility? Pat points out the prohibited steps order that is in place, but Helen is not convinced: what if He knows something she doesn't? Perhaps He's found a way round it? Pat suggests speaking to her own solicitor, and Tony goes off to see if he can get hold of Dominic.

If it's not going to be cup-cake decorating or salsa dancing or laser tag or karaoke, at all of which Tracy has turned up her nose, Susan despairingly wonders what they are going to do for Tracy's hen night. Tracy keeps telling her: she doesn't need a fuss. She's up for a laugh, just nothing fancy or expensive. She'd quite happily settle for a gang of mates and a few bottles of wine. When Susan complains that anyone could organise that, she retorts right, that's what they'll do. She's serious: what's wrong with a few friends and a lot of alcohol? Nice and simple. Susan is incredulous, but since Tracy says it is a hundred percent what she wants Susan gives way: it sounds as if she's made up her mind. Tracy has, and thinks they should celebrate with another brew. After she has gone through to the kitchen Jazzer sighs in relief: at least they know what they're doing! Yes, grumbles Susan, but not where we're doing it: what about the venue? Jazzer wants to know what's wrong with a pub somewhere, which Susan doesn't think is very memorable. She wants to give Tracy a treat because she deserves it. Jazzer wants to know what she was thinking, and Susan tells him she wants it to be unique in some way: otherwise they are missing the element of surprise. She's going to find Tracy somewhere really special.

Perhaps He just wants to unsettle her, muses Helen, but part of her can't help thinking ... Don't go there, interrupts Pat. Helen continues to go there. As Pat is trying to stop her, Tony comes back in: he couldn't get hold of Dominic, who is in back-to-back meetings today, but in the meantime he has given Anna Tregorran a ring and explained everything, and she said that Helen shouldn't worry: Rob might be within his rights to ask for a change in the current child arrangement order, but Helen can just refuse that. She recommended that Dominic should get in touch with Rob's solicitor right away. She also said that since she comes to see her mother in Ambridge every week, she has suggested she can Helen could meet and talk things over on Friday, late in the afternoon. Helen says she'd love that, then immediately worries that it might be because Anna has concerns; Tony says no, she just wanted a chat and to offer to answer any questions Helen might have. Helen is worried lest Anna suspects what Helen does: that Helen is going to have another fight on her hands.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 23rd May, 2023

Emma snarks and Alice nags, while Jazzer and Susan try for sweet reason.

Characters: Emma, Tracy, Jazzer, Adam, Tom, Susan, Alice
Credited scriptwriter:
Daniel Thurman
Director:
Jess Bunch
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Emma is at 6, The Green to find out what is wanted for the wedding buffet, and manages, by going on at length about how hard George is working at Berrow, how much Gibson approves of George, and all the changes he is encouraging George to make, to get up Tracy's nose so far that Tracy walks out. Jazzer, who has somehow managed to be civil, fields this by saying that Tracy is handling the ceremony and he is in charge of the reception, so the buffet is his department and Tracy isn't really needed.

Adam has gone back to Bridge Farm to the first herb harvest at the Forest Garden, and after Tom has expounded his theory that he can get Tracy to give up Chris Carter, Adam and Tom have a fine time slagging off their respective fathers and their insistence on having something to do with the running of their own farms even if their sons want to retire them. When asked what is wrong Tom explains that Nova and Seren did some modelling work [entirely off their own bats, obviously. Gus] which Dad had an issue with, and it's really none of his business. Parents often struggle to draw a line, remarks Adam sagely; or explain themselves properly, whinges Tom. Sometimes their advice can be useful, muses Adam, to which Tom responds that there is a big difference between offering guidance and dictating what people can do.

Emma tells Jazzer what she and Fallon were thinking of doing, quiches, sausage rolls; he pours cold water and reminds her the reception is supposed to have a Scottish theme, and when she says The Bull can use tartan tablecloths and heather for decorations tells her sternly that's not enough. He wants is traditional Scottish food; she laughingly asks if he means deep fried chocolate bars, and he enlightens her (or rather doesn't) by naming a lot of things she has never heard of: tottie scone [I assume he meant tattie scone. And the actor is a Scot, too: why didn't he know? Chris] and stovies, clootie dumpling, rumbledethumps and crappit heids – which last he generously explains are boiled fish-heads stuffed with oats, liver and suet. Emma wants to know what's wrong with a quiche Lorraine, and Jazzer tells her sternly that it is his heritage they are talking about; she apologises. Then she tries to get out of it by saying they don't have time to research a lot of new dishes, to which Jazzer blithely responds there is no need: he has written it all down for them. When she suggests they sound a bit complicated he tells her that his granny used to whip them up in no time. He wants a proper Scottish feast: as she said, it's his big day too.

In the shop, Alice is buying some things for The Stables and Susan takes advantage of her presence to ask whether she can help suggest a venue for Emma's hen-night; unfortunately the only things she thinks of have already been vetoed by Tracy, and the talk gets round to Susan having nearly forgotten Emma's wedding anniversary yesterday and thence to the fact that next Monday would have been Brian and Jennifer's forty-seventh wedding anniversary and that he has turned down Alice's suggestion that he should mark it in some way. She can't help wondering whether he doesn't just want her to arrange something, to do it for him; she says in an aggrieved voice that she has tried to get the truth out of him [and did it occur to you, bossy-boots, that you may have been given exactly that and discounted it because it wasn't what you wanted him to feel? Chris] but he gets snappy with her. Mercifully, Susan gives her little encouragement in her interference, even when she says that all she has done is suggest they go on a nice day-trip somewhere important to him and Jennifer; Susan's view is that this was a lovely idea, but she must admit, if Brian keeps saying 'no' she's inclined to think he probably means it. Downcast, Alice thinks she is right.

Enough herbs have been picked from the Forest Garden, and Adam wants to take some to Ian. Tom speaks of Freddie having suggested they can have a stand at lower Loxley MayFest event next week; they can take some herbs along, and photocards of the Edible Forest Garden; he thinks people will be really interested. He tells Adam it's a real success, and Adam speaks of them all being so supportive of his ideas; he really does feel part of Bridge Farm. It's just very different. When he's been covering for Stella he's realised part of him does miss the grand scale of farming, and it's got him back to the feel of arable farming. Tom sympathises, and congratulates him on having been way ahead of his time about regenerative farming; Adam says that Home Farm could still benefit from his ideas, but with Brian the way he is it's hard to tell just who will be overseeing its future.

Jazzer tells Tracy that Emma's gone, and Tracy is not sorry, though Emma going without saying goodbye ruffles her slightly. Jazzer points out that she did leave pretty suddenly herself, and Tracy tells him that she was doing her head in. Jazzer says smugly that he covered for her, but Tracy is not pacified: Emma comes round there making out George is the saviour of Berrow. Jazzer says that it's just Emma, but Tracy goes on: the only thing George is the saviour of is himself and he does it by throwing anyone else under the bus to save his own bacon. He manipulated Brad into lying to the police, and Emma sits in their house making out George is a credit to the community. Jazzer admits ruefully that he has obviously impressed Martyn Gibson, and Susan was saying the same thing, which Tracy dismisses as Susan just making conversation, whereas Emma is trying to rub their noses in it: that will be the real reason she came round. When Jazzer says she was pretty helpful about the grub Tracy predicts that at the reception she will be swanning about saying how much work she has put in. Jazzer asks whether at the end of the day it might be a better idea to forgive and forget, and Tracy informs him that it's not going to happen.

Susan has popped in to see Alice, who wants to say sorry for going on about Dad and the anniversary. Susan has been thinking about what she said, and while Brian is obviously finding it hard, so is Alice. There's nothing wrong with wanting to mark the day, but it's too difficult for Brian at the moment. That doesn't mean Alice can't do something for herself, Alice says she misses Mum terribly, and the idea of going on a nice trip somewhere connected to her makes Alice feel close to her again. Susan encourages her to go, since it's clearly important to her. She should follow her instincts and do what's right for her.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 24th May, 2023

Tom is a terrible liar, and Adam gives way to greed.

Characters: Tracy, Tom, Adam, Ian, Alice
Credited scriptwriter:
Daniel Thurman
Director:
Jess Bunch
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Tom has dropped into The Bull for a quick pint of Shires. Tracy suggests he is there to steady his nerves before the T20 match on Sunday, and after a bit of to-and-fro on the subject points out that he didn't get Christopher for his team. He admits she beat him to it, and she continues to needle him about his failure. He says that yes, he was disappointed at first, but is now feeling pretty relieved because Chris is crocked: the ankle he slightly turned on Sunday has swelled up to the size of a football and he's hobbling around like Jazzer. It's just got progressively worse. Tracy can't believe it: what's she going to do now? Only one thing for it, says Tom: she'd better find a replacement.

Adam arrives late for supper and greets Weaver before apologising to Alice for having kept her waiting. He's been working all day and is glad to sit down. When Alice asks what kept him, Ian teases that Adam can't seem to tear himself away from Home Farm these days. Adam admits he has been enjoying being back in charge for a while, with Brian leaving him to it for the most part. This mention of Brian reminds Alice of the wedding anniversary on Monday, and since Brian doesn't want to celebrate it she and Kate are going out to afternoon tea at a restaurant at Waterley Cross where Brian and Jennifer used to celebrate anniversaries; Kate went there with them earlier this year so she knew about it. [They celebrated Jennifer's birthday there on 6th January, the same day that David and Ruth were there with Vince and Elizabeth. Chris] Adam asks for it to be clarified that Brian doesn't want to join them, and Alice confirms that he would rather spend the day quietly by himself; Adam thinks perhaps they should still keep an eye on him next week in case the anniversary hits him harder than he expects.

Having investigated Tom's tarradiddle by ringing Susan, Tracy has come to find Tom and confront him with his [utterly futile. Chris] lie. For a short while Tom carries on trying to pretend he was speaking in good faith, but in the end has to own up to what his game was. and says he should have been up front from the start. He then claims that Chris knows that he was going to ask Tracy about him swapping, which Tracy understandably does not believe either; she informs him that the fact is she got Chris fair and square, and walks away leaving Tom asking whether they can't just talk about this.

Over the meal cooked by Ian Alice tells the two men that The Stables is going well, with a busy summer in prospect; Adam suggests that means she is not thinking much about Home Farm, to which she comes back with 'not as much as you are.' Adam harks back to Brian's will and his unwillingness to talk about it, and tries to find out whether Alice has even a hint from him about how he might leave the farm; Ian utters a minatory 'Adam', and Adam retorts that Ian knows how frustrating this is. It would help if they knew where Brian stood. He suggests Brian might be considering selling up, which alarms Alice. Ian points out that she knows no more than Adam, and Alice says neither of them has the answers. Adam says she must share the same frustrations, and Alice informs him that actually, she hasn't really been thinking about it, and to be honest, she doesn't really care. She feels the same now about Mum's will: she was upset at first, but she's made peace with it. Mum's not there to discuss it with so she just has to come to terms with it. Adam argues that it is different with Brian, who could actually talk them through his plans for the farm. Alice asserts that she doesn't need him to, and Ian once again tries to get Adam to drop it while she tells them she doesn't want to think about Dad not being around. She just wants to make the most of the time they have together. Adam is clearly disappointed but accepts that is how she feels, and she asks whether he doesn't think it is time they all just moved on? [To where, or indeed whither? Remember not to tell me. Gus.]

Tom has pursued Tracy to carry on with his attempt to talk her into relinquishing Christopher; she gives him a hard time about his lies [as she is very much entitled to do. Chris] and calls him a very sore loser. He goes right on, even suggesting that Chris may feel obliged not to let down his aunt and is quite likely to put in a lacklustre performance because his heart won't be in it. After a lot of his wriggling, Tracy eventually offers him a swap: he suggests Johnny, then Josh, but she wants Adam in exchange for Chris. Tom immediately protests that Adam is his number two [sic. Gus and Chris] and he can't let Adam go, but it's Tracy's last offer, take it or leave it, and eventually he takes it. She will let Christopher know, but insists telling Adam will come better from him.

After Adam has loaded the dishwasher Ian takes him to task for having made Alice feel uncomfortable with the talk about Home Farm, and Adam apologises but says that she just doesn't seem bothered about Home Farm's future any more, and neither does Kate, or Ruairi, while Debbie's priority is Hungary. [Does he know that she was offered Home Farm and turned it down? Chris.] Yet only a few weeks ago Home Farm was all they could talk about! Ian is in accord with Alice: he thinks they've moved on, and Adam is just going to have to accept that. Adam wants to know what about him, then says with a sigh that perhaps she's right, and he needs to move on too. When Ian asks whether he can, though, he reveals that he's kind of made a promise to himself: when Stella gets back next week, he's going to put Home Farm behind him. Ian thinks that will be easier said than done, and reminds him who he is talking to: since he's been at Home Farm he's been full of enthusiasm and energy; Adam says he enjoys working at Bridge Farm too, and after things came to a head at Home Farm he needed a change of scene. The lack of responsibility was a relief; but when Ian says 'Was?' Adam thinks perhaps what he needed was a break from Home Farm to renew his enthusiasm. He feels a real connection to the place; since losing Mum, and Paddy, he's been questioning himself a lot, and the fact is that Home Farm is a big part of who he is. Working there has reminded him of all the possibilities he could implement and carry over from his time at Bridge Farm. He doesn't mean going organic, but farming has changed even in the short time he's been at Bridge Farm: all that thinking about farming with the environment chimes with him. It's a challenge he'd like to take on again. Ian asks if returning is still his ambition, and he supposes that it is, one day, properly. Ian understands, and Adam will always have his support [except for all the times when he hasn't had. Chris]. Adam doesn't know whether it will ever happen, and maybe it's just a pipe-dream, but Ian thinks the chances have increased because Adam has finally accepted Home Farm is what he wants: that's the first step.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 25th May, 2023

Pat rings her hands, while Oliver waves his wand.

Characters: Pat, Kirsty, Susan, Oliver, Tracy
Credited scriptwriter:
Daniel Thurman
Director:
Jess Bunch
Editor: Jeremy Howe

As Kirsty leaves the Bridge Farm shop Pat hails her and shows her the herbs she is delivering to the shop from the Edible Forest Garden; Adam is full of bright ideas and they are missing him while he covers for Stella. Kirsty tells her they are planning special events, not for Open Farm Sunday but for the thirty days wilding [sic] scheme, organised every year by the Borsetshire wildlife trust. Pat seems not to have heard of 30 Days Wild, and says she must bring the grandchildren, except Henry is being a bit difficult at the moment. Kirsty asks after Helen and Pat says she is rather up and down, then explains to Kirsty about not knowing whether there will be a court case. Kirsty offers to discuss it, but Pat has to go and feed the goats; Kirsty says she could walk with her.

In the village shop Susan has caught Oliver to tell him her troubles; there is still tension about 'what happened at Grey Gables', Emma having told her that Tracy was 'funny' with her on Monday and she couldn't think why, and Susan thinks it was about the trespassing and Caroline's bench. Oliver knew George and Brad had fallen out about it, and Susan tells him Tracy hasn't forgiven George for what happened, or Em for that matter. He finds that sad, and he'd hate them to be at odds because of it. He hopes that it will be forgotten in the hen-night festivities, but she then tells him her difficulties finding anywhere for that to happen: she had settled on a tiki bar in Felpersham, but their indoor fountain sprang a leak and flooded it out. As she is speaking, the shop bell rings and Tracy comes in; she thinks they look shifty and assumes they were talking about the hen night, but loses no time in making sure Oliver will be coming, which completely floors both him and Susan, since they both thought it was meant to be a female gathering.

Pat now confides to Kirsty that she can't shake her feelings: she can't bear the thought of letting Helen down again, and is terrified of having to give evidence. Kirsty is sympathetic and says anyone would be nervous, but Pat says not Tony, who is very gung-ho about it. She just feels dread. The prospect of sitting in the same room as Him again means she wouldn't be able to focus, and she feels so consumed with hatred. Her overwhelming feeling is hatred for Him and the things He did: it's never gone away, and it's starting to take over again. Kirsty reassuringly says that's not surprising. It scares Pat to feel like this when the others don't. Kirsty asks whether she's shared this with anyone, and Pat [forgetting about Lee. Chris] says no: Tony's not really listening, Tom is busy, and she's hardly going to bother Helen with it, is she. She hopes Helen gets some reassurance from seeing Anna Tregorran when she visits Helen and Lee tomorrow evening; Kirsty is surprised at Anna's involvement, but thinks it sounds like a good idea and is sure it will help.

In spite of all Tracy's blandishments Oliver does not in the least want to go to her hen party and is steadfast in refusal: he is sure such a party is not quite his scene.

Kirsty is trying to persuade Pat to tell Tony how she is feeling, but Pat is convinced he doesn't want to hear it: for him it's all about the trial, whereas Pat feels that nothing is certain and that's one of the things she's frightened of. What if the CPS decides not to prosecute? She has been doing some research, and because The Man is Jack's father it isn't just a straightforward kidnapping case. He may have been forbidden to see Jack unsupervised, as Kirsty has pointed out, but He didn't take Jack away for a long time: Helen tracked them down within hours. [Make that less than five minutes: she drove after them and Rob was stopped by a fallen tree less than three hundred yards from the house. Chris] Kirsty is sure that's not the point, and Pat apologises; she certainly isn't trying to make excuses. She just can't help trying to prepare herself for every possible outcome. Kirsty tries again to talk sense: this has to go to court even if Pat is worried about testifying. Pat is worried about Helen too: what might the pressure of a trial do to her? It must be a thousand times worse for her. And what if He does get convicted? Would it be enough? Tony thinks a trial will offer them some sort of closure, but Pat isn't sure; if He were found guilty of kidnapping that wouldn't make up for all the other things He did. They can never hope for justice.

Just as Susan is closing the shop Oliver appears again and there is the usual sort of misunderstanding as Susan assumes one thing and doesn't listen to anything someone else is trying to say. He finally manages to break into her monologue and tell her it's about the hen party: he hasn't changed his mind but he might be able to contribute something. He thinks they might like to use Grey Gables: there is a lounge on the ground floor whose bar has just been finished, and he thought he might hire a cocktail waiter as a gift to Tracy. They can bring their own wine as well, and there is ample space if they want to dance. [How about insurance? Chris.] It's even been fitted out, though if they want music they'll have to bring their own stereo. Susan thinks Tracy would love it, and says Yes, and Oliver asks whether she can find him a cocktail waiter. He is still firm in his refusal to attend in person: he will let them in and make sure they are settled but has no intention of cramping their style. He asks her please not to worry about him: the most important thing is that they all have a wonderful time. Now he has come to the rescue Susan is sure they will.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 26th May, 2023

Helen readies herself for a fight and Susan heads one off..

Characters: Helen, Lee, Tracy, Susan, Oliver, Anna, Emma
Credited scriptwriter:
Daniel Thurman
Director:
Jess Bunch
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Preparing for Anna Tregorran's visit Helen realises she has lost one of two letters from Rob's solicitor, the one that arrived this morning, and gets into something of a panic; Lee discovers she has put them both into the same envelope. She tries to get him to go away and leave her and Anna to talk in private, but he wants to be there to support her: they are in this together.

Tracy is marvelling about having her hen night at the new Grey Gables; Oliver has even got balloons for the occasion, courtesy of Heidi. There is also a cocktail waiter called Peter. [But no goats. Gus.] [Shame. Chris.] Susan has apparently arranged a very tasteful evening for Tracy, with nothing lewd; just a few old-fashioned party games care of Lynda. Peter will not only mix them drinks, he will teach them how to make their own. Tracy asks for a Cosmopolitan [1½fl oz vodka, 1/½fl oz orange liqueur, squeeze fresh lime juice, 1fl oz cranberry juice. a twist of orange peel to garnish. Chris], and Susan would love a Strawberry Daiquiri [4 fresh strawberries,2 tsp white sugar, 1½fl oz white rum, 1 tbsp strawberry liqueur, 1fl oz lime juice, ½ a strawberry to garnish. Chris]. Susan goes to check Chelsea is all right setting up the music, and Tracy once more sets out to cajole Oliver to stay for the party, this time successfully.

Anna Tregorran has driven past the Beechwood Estate many, many times [why? It is not on the way from anywhere to Glebe Cottage, where her mother lives. Chris] but never realised Helen now lives there. After some chat about Carol (now 92) they finally start to talk about Helen's problems. Carol has stopped practising and begun to teach, and she is also writing. She thought it might be useful for them to catch up, and she'll advise Helen about the legal workings as best she can; not that she'd want to tread on Dominic's toes: Helen has a very good solicitor there. Helen shows her the two letters from Stephen South, Rob's solicitor.

Oliver, who is now mixing cocktails under instruction from Peter, being partial to Brandy Sours [25ml lemon juice, 1 maraschino cherry, plus 15ml syrup from the jar, a few drops of Angostura bitters, ½ an egg white, 50ml brandy or cognac, ice, 1 lemon slice to serve. Chris], tops up Susan's drink and is courteous to Emma, who insists on telling him how kind it is of him to let Tracy have her party there after what Brad and George did; he asks her how George's fund-raising efforts are progressing, to which she has no answer. Susan tries to drag her away, but too late: Tracy has come over, and with remarkable lack of common sense Emma carries on boasting about George and all his success at Berrow.

Anna is fairly sure that the letters from Rob's solicitor are mostly bluster; they can send as many requests as they like, but the fact is that Rob doesn't have a strong case for gaining access to Jack. They are just intended to intimidate them. She warns Lee that they can't assume Rob will be prosecuted for attempted kidnapping and it is best to wait for the decision about that; frustrating as it may be, the kidnapping charge may never get to court. In the meantime, she suggests they talk to Dominic about sending a robust response stating that they regard these letters as part of Rob's ongoing abuse. She does however warn them that abusers may not have a strong claim to their children, but they have the right to keep asking to see them and will often take that to extremes; he may take Helen to court. Things could get very drawn out, and draining both mentally and financially. Rob could be very persistent. Even if there is no chance of him winning? asks Lee. He can't believe it. Helen can.

The inevitable drunken row between Tracy and Emma does eventually break out, with both parties dragging up insults to each other's child and each other's partner. Susan and Oliver both try to shut them up or at least to keep the noise down, but when Susan is appealed to to take sides Oliver advises her to keep out of it. When it devolves into insults about each other's wedding dresses it seems likely to get really nasty, for all Oliver says it has gone far enough, but is headed off at the last moment into apologies by Susan telling them they are fam-lee. The talk is changed to congratulations, mostly from Susan, about how lovely both their dresses are or in Emma's case were, and how lovely they look(ed) in them. Peace breaks out, amid laughter, and Susan drags everyone off to dance, including Oliver at the insistence of Tracy.

After Anna has gone Helen can't say she is surprised, but can't help worrying about the legal costs if they have to fight him over Jack; the first court case almost bankrupted her! [Even though it was paid for by her parents, who took out additional mortgage on the farm to do so. Chris.] She has to be prepared for a custody battle; to this end, she doesn't want to commit herself to paying out for a trip to San Francisco because she will need her money for any extra legal fees. They had planned to book their tickets this weekend, but she now feels that Lee will just have to go on his own. She's sorry: right now, her priority has got to be Jack. Lee must understand that.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 28th May, 2023

Sickly stags, ferret fears and a scorer as blind as a bat.

Characters: Elizabeth, Freddie, Tracy, Tom, Jim, Oliver
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Putting Ruth's birthday get-together on the calendar is more important to Elizabeth than anything Freddie might have to say about the Lower Loxley Late Mayfest, a title which seems to please him. When she does realise what he is saying she enquires pointedly whether everything is fine for that, and Freddie says that of course it is in a somewhat aggrieved voice. She goes on prompting him about it in spite of it having been supposed to be entirely his to arrange; when he shows her what his arrangements are she grudgingly concedes that he's been very thorough. She does seem genuine in congratulating him for having offered a discount to people taking stalls who live within ten miles of the venue. Elizabeth claims not to be worried and to be leaving it all to him, then mentions that when the trustees ask she looks forward to telling them, which leads to Freddie feeling angry abut them knocking back sherry and casually deciding people's futures. She tells him they haven't decided yet; he hopes they realise all he has done for this event, even dropping out of the cricket, not that this was a huge sacrifice. He just wants them to know this was his gig, not hers with him photoshopped in. Then he tells her he has Eddie coming, and suddenly letting him do it on his own has less appeal for Elizabeth. When he tells her Eddie's stall is called 'wildlife underground' she sounds decidedly dubious.

Tracy appears to be blaming Tom for the absence of one umpire for the cricket and no scorer, and half her lot look as if they'd been backside first through a mangle [sic]. Tom points out that is only the ones who were on Jazzer's stag night, and she accuses him of having nobbled them by doing something to their drinks. He denies it, telling her his team look just as bad. He then wants to know what she means by 'Tracy's Tigers' when his team are already called 'Tom's Tigers', but when Jim turns up, late, in shades and without his glasses, he confirms that she sent him a message about that name yesterday. Tom is thoroughly aggrieved, and not at all pleased to call his team 'Tom's Tornadoes' at Jim suggestion, though it is batter than Tracy's 'Tom's Tadpoles'. Jim then starts to go through the rules, which Tracy assures him they already know. As they are about to get on with the toss, Kenton plays a fanfare over the PA, which Tom says is a rehearsal for when batters go out to bat and Jim finds offensive because he can see no need for it.

Whilst waiting to take his next tour round [what happened to each guide staying in one room? Chris] Oliver sits next to Freddie, who is taking a short break. Oliver tells Freddie about having gone on Tracy's hen night, which was unexpectedly peaceful with the only potential fight fizzling out into laughter. Freddie says it was Jazzer's stag night last night as well, but with Jim Lloyd in tow and Jazzer on crutches it can't have got too wild. He doesn't get all the macho strutting around, himself. Oliver observes that he seems bothered about something, and asks if he is all right; Freddie says yes, just planning: planning always goes wrong, especially when it's him doing it. Oliver asks sympathetically if something has gone awry, and Freddie explains that Eddie's 'wildlife underground' stall turns out to mean ferrets. Oliver knew: Eddie told him it was to be called 'Ferrety Fun'. Freddie is concerned that this may mean ferrets up people's trouser legs, which would set the wrong tone especially when he is already under scrutiny by the trustees.

As Jim scores two to Alistair [since she encouraged him, we can infer he is on Tracy's team. Chris], Kenton plays a fanfare, and a distracted Jim loses the paper he is scoring on. Tracy tells him a wide has just been bowled and is one more for her team. Tom then shouts for an update to the scoreboard, which Jim says he will be doing at the end of the over; Tom tells him that Lynda signalled one short last over, which Jim didn't see her do, and it should be twenty for two not twenty-one for two. Tracy is offensive about the Tadpoles needing to grab every crumb of comfort they can get, and Tom says he just wants the scoring to be accurate. Jim notes one off Kirsty, two for Alistair, and is reminded by Tracy to add one for the wide.

Freddie has been explaining to Oliver about the trustees' scrutiny; he says he can feel them watching him all the time. Oliver is sympathetic but says everyone is watched; Freddie replies that their starting point is that they don't believe in him. Oliver encourages him to show them they're wrong, but Freddie's reaction is, what if they're not? Oliver assures him that they are, but Freddie tells him about the picture and it being his fault that it got damaged because he was the one who put it in store; whenOliver asks 'Really?' Freddie says no, but he knows that's what they think. He wonders whether it's worth banging his head against the same wall: let them get on with it and walk away. No, says Olive: he won't have him give up like this; surely he isn't going to be daunted by Eddie and a few ferrets? Freddie wants to know what he's to do, but Oliver tells him that he works that out for himself. He's perfectly capable and he has handled worse situations than this: life and death ones, and handled them brilliantly. These people doubt him; well, show them they're wrong. At this point Elizabeth breezes up and Oliver makes a swift exit to find the group he is to show round. Elizabeth has come to ask Freddie what he has done about Eddie Grundy, and Freddie tells her he has spoken to him, and told him he needs to tweak his plans a bit: Freddie is getting back to him on that. A few little things to iron out, and Wednesday's going to be fine.

Chris has been run out by Rex and Jim says the Tigers have won by one run. Tom demands a recount and shows discrepancies in Jim's scoring, which Jim says are misreadings by Tom. After a lot of argument between the two captains, not helped by Kenton playing loud music at them Jim decides the Mark Hebden trophy is to be shared [sic, and do the captains look after it on alternate days then? Chris] between the two teams. Tracy blames the debacle on Jim not knowing where his glasses are, and he says he does know: somewhere on the trail of Jazzer's stag do, and they will find them. All they have to do is retrace their steps.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 29th May, 2023

Brian is shocked, while Helen is perfectly fine, no, really.

Characters: Pat, Helen, Harrison, Adam, Brian, Tony
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Cleaning the dairy window is a chore which Pat is happy to do for Helen, as is babysitting for her on Wednesday while Helen runs a stall at Lower Loxley. Pat gossips happily about Jim having lost his glasses and been unable to score properly at cricket as a result; he and Jazzer are now on a mission to find them, retracing their steps from the stag night. She also recalls Tony losing his spectacles for a year and them turning up at the bottom of the grain pit. Having had a laugh about that she asks how Lee is now about San Francisco, since he's had the weekend to think it through; apparently he understands about the money situation and couldn't be more supportive. The window is clean, and Helen gloats about the positive feedback they have had about it, then mentions the one negative view on social media which was nasty, and personal. [Signpost to Rob? Chris] Pat strongly advises her to ignore it, and her wise advice is interrupted by Harrison knocking on the window; rather than open the door to him, they elect to speak to him via the walkie-talkie setup. He wants to talk to Helen, and not through glass, so Pat suggests he and Helen go through to the office while she makes a start on cleaning the floor. [When is this meant to be? Today is a bank holiday: why is the dairy not open for the tourists to look at? Chris]

Adam has rung Brian to ask him about various things Adam has actually organised himself, and witters on a bit: Brian remains silent and eventually when he asks if there was anything else Adam wanted, Adam takes the hint and leaves him in peace.

The news Harrison has brought is that the CPS will not be prosecuting Rob, which is a disappointment to Helen but not a surprise. She is quietly vicious about it, and Harrison does his best to explain the decision not having been his and that it doesn't make sense, but Rob being the child's father would weigh in his favour. When asked if he thinks they're right he tells her it doesn't matter what he thinks, then asks if she is all right: he doesn't like to leave her like this. She assures him that she is fine, and doesn't want him to tell Pat and Tony; she'll do that. She thanks him for coming in person, and reiterates that he is not to worry: she is fine, perfectly fine.

Brian has come to watch the shearing, which he describes as being 'proper farming busy' and inspiring: it makes him think he ought to get back into the swing of things, which he hasn't done while Stella has been away. He has leaned too much on Adam and should have shouldered more. He is grateful to Adam, and has brought him a bottle of 'my favourite malt' as a thank you. He also wanted to thank Adam for the phone call, having worked out that it was because of today being his and Jennifer's wedding anniversary. It was nice to be thought of. The girls are lovely but they organise and can make you feel a bit like a spreadsheet. Meanwhile Brian plans to do some real muddy-boots farming: he'll be going through the accounts. This makes Adam laugh, but Brian says that Stella is back on Friday and they need to have the books in order for that; after all, they don't want a slapped wrist from Stella, do they.

Surprisingly, the person who goes off the deep end over the news about the CPS' inaction is not Pat or Helen but Tony, who is outraged to such an extent that both Pat and Helen end up trying to calm him down by arguing against what he is saying. They fail, and he slams out of the room in dudgeon.

Brian has called Adam over to Home Farm to look at the accounts: he has discovered a £15k item he doesn't recognise, and asks Adam what it's for. He has no recollection of it and hoped Adam might be able to clarify it. After a little thought Adam says he thinks it must be for the disc drill Stella wanted to buy. Brian is baffled: he doesn't remember that, no. If they were forking out that sort of sum he'd have known about it. And it says 'deposit', meaning more to pay: Brian would have known. Adam has found some more information, which says 'contract'; it is the drill. Light dawns on Brian: the fancy disc-drill she kept going on about! Incredulously, he asks whether she's ordered it. Adam says she must have done, and Brian says that he never agreed to that; when Adam says 'No?' he is quite positive that he only said he'd think about it. When Adam points out she has definitely ordered it, Brian says that she can un-order it and get the deposit back. But that's not possible, as Adam tells him: the deposit is effectively part of the contract to make the drill to order, and it should be arriving in a week or so. Brian asks what the further payments will be, and Adam tots it up: they will amount to £150,000 over three years. Brian is horrified and outraged; Adam asks if he is sure he didn't authorise her to go ahead, which Brian emphatically denies. Did Adam? He means, did she talk to Adam about it? Did she ask him? Adam temporises, and says that he certainly didn't think she'd ordered it. Fortunately for him, at that moment Brian's phone rings: it's Justin, and Brian has to take it, which allows Adam to escape to collect Xander.

Helen has sought out Tony, who apologises to her for storming off; she says she is sorry too, and can't thank him enough for all he has done. He is sure it's not over: they won't accept kidnap, but there are other possible other charges that might work better. Helen asks like what abuse and rape? And if they do prosecute for those, what then? She doesn't think she can go through a court case again. She knows that Tony wants Him put away, which Tony at once says is only because he hates the thought of Him still being out there, but all Helen wants is Him gone. If they take the criminal route that will bring Him back into her life; the civil case will at least stop Him getting access to Jack. Tony doesn't like it because he wants to nail Him, but, he agrees with a sigh, not if Helen doesn't want him to. She tells Tony she just wants to live a proper life, without Him. Please?

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 30th May, 2023

The Bridge Farm dairy gets off scot-free, but will Stella?

Characters: Lee, Susan, Pat, Helen, Harriet Highway, Adam, Ian
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Lee has been sent to deliver the forms Helen needed to fill in for her stall at Loxfest tomorrow, and is stopped to chat with Susan; we learn that Eddie is planning a stall called 'Ferrety Fun'. Susan can't stand around chatting, but has time to ask how Lee is after Jazzer's stag do and be told he didn't go to it, then tell him that Jazzer's stag night was in comparison with what she organised for Tracy at Grey Gables. Jim's glasses are still missing, too, and Susan wouldn't be surprised if they never turn up; Lee was well out of it, if you ask her.

Pat offers to call round for the boys in the morning, but Helen kindly informs her there is no need: Lee can bring them over on his way to work and save her the bother. Pat is sorry for Lee, who looked a bit down when he picked up the forms; Helen says he's fine, but it's a bit difficult to talk at the moment. The door then opens to admit a woman asking for Helen Archer and calling herself Harriet Highway, of the North Borsetshire District Council. Pat leaves, and Helen mentions that she doesn't think she is expecting Harriet. She had a couple of calls in the area and thought she'd drop in and see if she could catch her, says Harriet; she's a food inspector and they have received an email of complaint. She'd like to see the staff in the ice-cream making section.

When approached, Susan can't tell where this has come from, which Harriet can't divulge; Helen is sure they are entitled to know the nature of the complaint, but it seems they are not, nor who made it. All complaints are treated with confidentiality, and taken seriously. Helen suggests that this means anyone could come along and say whatever they liked, and Harriet concedes that the intention could be malicious, yes. And they can't know whether it is a waste of everyone's time, as Helen suggests, or a matter of genuine concern until they investigate it. Helen wants her to make a start: it's a very busy time for them. Harriet would like to be shown around, and not by Helen: she'd like Susan to do it. She'll need to look through their food safety management plan, so perhaps Helen can get that for her while she talks to Susan. Once Helen has gone, Harriet grills Susan about the procedure when they arrive at work.

Adam is telling Ian about Brian's discovery of the massive unauthorised expenditure, and making out that Brian was completely clueless: 'he had some foggy notion of Stella badgering him about a drill'. Apparently the more they talked the more it began to come back to him; 'except for the bit about saying yes?' suggests Ian. Adam says that he wouldn't remember that: Stella went ahead without ever getting his agreement. Ian laughingly remarks that Brian wouldn't like that; Adam concurs, saying that Brian talked himself into a temper about it. Ian suggests that it is hardly Stella's fault, but Adam is less convinced about that: she would surely need Brian's say-so for the expenditure of a hundred and fifty thousand pounds over three years. Ian then points out that Adam spoke to her when things were being so bad for all the family, and told her to go ahead and make decisions; Adam is clear that's not exactly right, because encouraging her to show initiative is not the same as approving massive payouts like this. Ian has seen the risk that it might look the same to Brian: Stella asked Adam for advice, then took it as permission to proceed. He's sure that's not what Adam meant, but it sounds very tricky and Adam will have to tread carefully.

It didn't occur to Pat that the visitor was there for an inspection, which came as a surprise to Helen as well. Pat asks whether they [sic. That would presumably be all of the Harriets. Chris] found anything, and then when Helen starts to talk about how upset Susan was insists on being told; Helen tells her they [sic] didn't find anything. It's all clear and Helen has a very short report she can file away: 'no recommendations needed'. Pat says that must be such a relief, and Helen agrees that it is in a way, but it's not really over, not when you think about it. Pat is positive: the best thing is, she can put it behind her, but Helen says you have to wonder who made the complaint. Pat is firm that they don't know and they can't know, and when Helen says it seems clear enough to her, and it's exactly the sort of thing He would do, get quite cross and repeatedly says 'no'. Helen talks about Him playing His little mind games, and Pat points out there are plenty of people out there who complain for all sorts of reasons including just because they're bored, and stamps firmly on Helen's suggestion that it could be Him: Helen doesn't know that. Likewise Helen saying that it's not just this, is it? Pat thinks it probably is: an isolated incident, one complaint, some sad person out to make trouble. Helen starts to work herself up: there are other things happening, like the online review, and the letters from the solicitors... Stop! says Pat emphatically. Suppose she is right; suppose He is behind it all: why would He do it? Too get inside my head, explains Helen, as to an idiot; then don't let Him, is Pat's response. Remember what she said to Tony? all she wants is for Him to be out of her life. If that's what she wants, she has to stop thinking about Him, now. Helen says it's not easy, and Pat makes a suggestion: why not bring the boys over for the night as well as tomorrow, and have an evening alone with Lee?

Adam is sure Brian could come round to the idea of the drill in the end: it's an impressive bit of kit, and the right thing for Home Farm to be investing in. Ian doesn't think that will happen soon, though, and nor does Adam, so Ian suggests Adam must keep in mind what he wants for Home Farm; when Adam doesn't understand, Ian explains that if he wants to end up at Home Farm he ought to think about that before jumping in too quickly to defend Stella. Adam is not sure about that: it wouldn't be right to land her in it. Ian doesn't want that: he just advises Adam to be careful he doesn't upset the equilibrium by saying too much, and avoid giving the impression that he played any part in the purchase of this drill. Adam protests that he didn't; Ian triumphantly says Stella is a capable woman and should survive any reaction from Brian Aldridge, so where's the need for Adam to be involved?

The evening in together is going well with much chomping and cutlery-rattling from Lee; the pair look back on good times they have had together, and have a laugh or two at each other. Lee than says he wants to say a single sentence about San Francisco: he doesn't have to go and it would save them a bit more money if he didn't. Helen cries out against this, but he tells her that money might make the difference, and it's hers if she ever needs it. After protesting that she couldn't, Helen refuses to allow Lee to say that he doesn't help her enough: she thought she would never be with anyone ever again, she thought she was too broken for that, but he proved her wrong and keeps on proving her wrong day after day. He makes her so happy! And he said a single sentence: that's enough. I love you, says Lee, and they kiss.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 31st May, 2023

Freddie's day is ruined, and Brian finds someone to talk to.

Characters: Elizabeth, Freddie, Ian, Adil, Brian
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The Lower Loxley Late May Fest is coming together, according to Elizabeth; Freddie is quietly pleased with his successful effort, which is going to be something special. When asked, Freddie is confident he has sorted Eddie Grundy; she immediately starts to tell him ways in which he ought not to have done so and says there ought to be room for things like wildlife underground, and for Eddie. Freddie gently tells her that Eddie has given up pretending it's wildlife underground and it is now 'Ferrety Fun'; Elizabeth continues to nitpick and Freddie says he's given Eddie a pitch out of sight round the back of the big greenhouse. Unfortunately Ian then arrives having a hissy fit because Eddie was unhappy with the secluded spot and has unilaterally moved himself to set up next to Ian's pizza van. Freddie goes to sort Eddie out again.

Adil comes over and introduces himself to Brian. Roy has told Adil about Brian's loss, and he expresses his sympathy with tact and without offending Brian, who in response is forthcoming about his feelings and mentions that it would have been their forty-seventh anniversary on Monday. Adil asks whether he did anything to mark it, and Brian explains that he didn't, thinking it would be just another day. Now he regrets it and feels that he should have done something; Adil murmurs enquiringly, and Brian says he isn't sure why he thought that but supposes it was sheer bloody-mindedness: his children were all pushing him to do something, and he thought, 'hang on, this is my occasion, not yours.' Well, yes, agrees Adil: it's private; in a way the kids are late arrivals on the scene. Brian endorses this, and adds that they tend to interfere anyway. For the best of reasons, suggests Adil; Brian is sure of it, but still... Anyway, that's why he came to Lower Loxley: to wander through the grounds on his own, as if he were going for a walk with Jenny. He didn't know about the Fest thing. Not quite according to plan then, Adil comments, and Brian ruefully agrees. However, when Adil apologises that Brian found himself ambushed by a stranger, and says he should leave him to wander in peace, Brian asks him not to go on his account: he wouldn't mind, there's no need for Adil to rush off unless he has to.

Sorting Eddie out has gone according to plan, and Ian wants Freddie to tell him how it was done. Freddie has put Eddie in the courtyard, to Ian's surprise; it was Freddie's suggestion, but Freddie attached conditions, among which was that the ferrets stay in their cages. It turns out there are health and safety regulations about events like this: you can't have uncaged animals within fifty metres of food and or drink. 'Is that a fact?' asks Ian; 'It is now,' replies Freddie, as they both laugh. If Eddie demands to see the documentation, it will be ready to read by tomorrow morning. However, since Eddie is next to the birds of prey display, the ferrets have to stay in their cages anyway to avoid any possible carnage. Ian is surprised Eddie agreed to it, but Freddie says he was grumpy at first but there are a lot of people passing by, and Clarrie has produced a line in knitted ferret characters, which according to Freddie are selling like hot, well, ferrets, so Eddie is happy. With much laughter, Ian congratulates him on being so devious and so clever. Elizabeth, turning up, asks what is clever, and Freddie informs her that would be him; Ian asks whether she has been told how Freddie managed to keep a lid on the ferrets, which she hadn't. Freddie however becomes aware there is something the matter, and as Elizabeth prevaricates and says it can wait, realises that she has heard from the trustees.

Brian is showing Adil the toy ferrets he has bought; when asked incredulously what he wants with knitted ferrets he teases by saying that he rather likes them: one has a look of Justin Elliott about it. Then he comes clean and admits they are for his grandchildren. Adil says a bit blankly that they have hats on; Brian says yes, and shirts, while Adil adds, but no trousers, which is not logical. Brian questions whether it would be if they had trousers, which Adil does feel would make a little more sense. Adil muses that jackets without trousers are odd, and it always worried him about Winnie-the-Pooh, which makes Brian laugh at him. Brian's concern is not how they are dressed but what to name them, which Adil makes clear should be left for Zander and Martha to decide. Brian thinks that is a good point, and Adil continues that it would be giving them pre-named ferrets, which would be interference; and they have already established that families shouldn't interfere. Brian, seeing Jim Lloyd, mentions the missing glasses and tells Adil that Jim and Jazzer are trying to track them down, a bit like Holmes and Watson. Or Morse and Lewis, adds Adil; he speculates that if it follows the usual pattern, half way through the investigation a second pair of glasses should go missing. Adil reveals that he did hear that Chris Carter put them on the statue of a dog in Borchester, and Brian laughs heartily. They are now getting on well enough for Brian to ask Adil about himself, but he gets little in reply: 'I run Grey Gables, Brian: that about sums up my entire story at the moment.'

The trustees have very thoroughly upset Freddie, again, such that once more he no longer cares about anything; all his efforts are futile and he might as well not bother. They will review his case 'in due course'; what is that supposed to mean? Elizabeth tries to persuade him to get the day over and talk about it later, but he doesn't see the point. She tells him he has done a fantastic job on the event, but he doesn't care.

The urge to confide is still with Brian, and Adil is a ready ear; he is told about Jenny always having been one to give advice about the farm, including the hiring of Stella. Brian says they cross swords now and again but she knows her stuff and adds that as a matter of fact they are about to cross swords again, over the expensive piece of kit she bought while Brian was distracted by bereavement ('oh dear,' murmurs Adil) and they will be having a conversation about it on Friday. Adil feels that there is a fine line between letting your people take initiative [sic], and you keeping control of the business, to which Brian adds 'a very fine line.' When Adil asks what Jenny would say, Brian knows that she would say 'Listen; listen to Stella.' 'Before you make any decisions?' asks Adil; 'Definitely,' replies Brian. Further enquiry about what his family will think or say about it elicits the information that Brian has no intention of asking them; Adil proposes a toast. 'To families.' When Brian adds 'bless them,' Adil finishes, 'May they remain ever close, but not too close.'

Freddie has been to watch Rex's pigs; he envied them. When offered some of the omelette which Elizabeth is making, since it will be too much for her, he accepts it but in a lacklustre way. She tells him brightly about the success of the day, which quite fails to make him enthusiastic, and eventually puts it to her that this is never going to change: they keep doing it, and keep putting things off. When Elizabeth says it's not for ever he is decidedly dubious: they'll put it off for a year, or two years, then look again and notice his criminal conviction, time inside, no qualifications, and put it off again. By the time he inherits the house, if he ever does, he'll be as doddery as them. Elizabeth asks what he is going to do, and when he clearly doesn't have any ideas tells him that she loves working with him [first we've heard of that! Chris] and bigs him up, talking about him having had a plan for the day that worked, then tells him he needs a plan for himself and helpfully suggests that she wants him to take a break, take a few days off, and then come back refreshed so they can work out together what happens next.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 1st June, 2023

Brian is none the wiser, Harrison is slightly floored, and Oliver is thoroughly carpeted.

Characters: Tracy, Adil, Brian, Justin, Harrison
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Tracy approaches Adil as he walks to work; he asks after her family and they then talk about Jazzer being preoccupied with Jim's lost glasses and having to hunt them down as a matter of pride. She wishes they would give it up, then remembers that she should be thanking Adil for last Friday. He is baffled, so she expands: her hen night. Without letting her know he has not the faintest idea what she is on about, he gets out of her it having been held at Grey Gables at Oliver's invitation, and that Oliver was with them on and off, and that there were about a dozen of them there. He says non-committally that it is always good to hear of satisfied customers, and that he is glad it all went so well.

An attempt to pump Justin 'off the record' about Stella is not going terribly well; Justin understandably feels that since she has been working at Home Farm for eighteen months, it's a little late to seek references, and Brian must surely know her by now, so he asks why Brian wants to know about their having worked together previously [Justin was not a farmer, and is not one now. Stella may have worked for him, but that is not the same thing. Chris]. However, he agrees to help Brian 'fill in the background'; he just wants a favour in exchange: Brian coming to the meeting about the charging station. Any support for the cause would be most welcome, suggests Justin.

At The Bull Tracy offers to serve Harrison a pint; he'd love one, but he is only there to deliver some dishes to Jolene for Fallon. He has had a hard week: busy, which he doesn't mind, but also stressful. He can't really tell Fallon all about it to share his troubles: for her sake he doesn't want to pass on the bad stuff. [Nothing about breaching confidence. Chris] If you know the people, if they're more or less mates, it's even harder. Tracy is very sympathetic, and he apologises about taking Brad in for questioning; he felt bad about it. She assures him that didn't show, and he still gave Brad a hard time, but Harrison asserts that he had no choice, even though he knows Brad's a good lad and he could see what it was doing to Tracy. This week it's been having to give people bad news when they were hoping for something better. Tracy suggests that he wants something to take his mind off it: she explains how cricket helps her [clearly he knows nothing about cricket, having captained the team and been directly responsible for her being able to join it at all. Chris]. Jazzer, unable to do things because of his foot, needed distraction, and Tracy has been trying to put him onto this nature thing of Kirsty's; it doesn't officially start till today, but they've tried out a couple of ideas. It did nothing for Jazzer, but it might do Harrison a bit of good. He is interested and suggests coming back at lunchtime for her to tell him more.

Justin is full of praise for hard-working, efficient and ambitious Stella, and Brian listens, learning nothing new but, for once, without obviously giving away more than he learns. When pressed to reveal any flaws in the paragon he portrays, Justin says that you could say she keeps her cards close to her chest ('Does she,' interpolates Brian) but that could be considered basic common sense. No, not secretive; she is just good at the job. And she believes in family-run farms as the backbone of agriculture in this country, which makes her an ideal fit for Home Farm. Impressive, says Brian; Justin advises him that he would do well to nurture Stella Pryor and see that no-one comes along and poaches her. [Why? Is she waterlogged? Gus]

Having been greeted with a cheerful 'Morning!', Oliver is not expecting to be quizzed about Tracy's hen night, but when Adil says it seems to have gone well and gives no hint anything might be wrong he cheerfully corroborates everything Tracy has said about it, and tells Adil he should have been there; Adil thinks he probably should. But he couldn't, could he, when he didn't know about it. He would like to hear about it, though. Should they say his office, two o'clock? Would that be convenient for Oliver?

Back at The Bull Harrison is talking round mouthfuls of cheese and pickle sandwich, but still no pint because he is going on duty at two; Tracy starts to tell him about Thirty Days Wild. According to her it's a kind of 'get back to nature' kick and anyone doing it has to promise to connect to nature stuff all the days of June. He asks what sort of 'nature stuff' and she tells him Kirsty said it could be quite small; he says doubtfully that it sounds a bit alternative, but Tracy doesn't think so. Like hugging a tree? he asks, and she says you could do that, if it's what you fancy, and he jokes 'or if you meet a specially attractive tree'. He admits he knows that trees are there but doesn't really take them in, and she says she thinks that's the point: to make you notice them. He asks if she knows anything about trees, and she says no, but the oak tree is her favourite; he says mock-mournfully that he hasn't got a favourite tree, so she adds that holly is nice, and he asks whether that's a tree; he thought it was a bush. She and Jazzer had a go at 'have your breakfast in the open air' and Jazzer moaned about the flies; Harrison promptly goes off into speculation about flies, because he knows nothing about them. Nor does Tracy, and according to her all Jazzer wanted to know about them was how you keep them off the porridge. Harrison might just sign up to it, and Tracy agrees it would be something a bit different for him. He thanks her for telling him about it, and says he will keep her posted.

In Adil's office Adil starts by being merely 'curious about this event', and builds up to thorough-going criticism of the entire business, from Oliver describing the rooms as 'ready to go' through none of the rooms having been officially booked and none of them having been opened to the public, culminating in them having opened prematurely, and without those who needed to know, actually knowing. Adil didn't know, and his employers, Oliver's co-owners, didn't know, and Adil thinks those are significant omissions. Oliver agrees that he should have been told, and Adil corrects him: they should have been asked not told. He then compares it to George and Brad breaking in; Oliver points out that the two things are hardly comparable. Adil keeps on that point and talks about trespass and illegality. He has however decided not to take steps, and won't be passing on this information, but Oliver has to be realistic: he is no longer the sole owner of this hotel and he can't carry on behaving as if he is.

Friday 2nd June, 2023

Back (Jim's glasses), Sack (Stella), and Crack (well, Jazzer said some stuff and it might have been funny.)

Characters: Jim, Jazzer, Susan, Stella, Adam, Brian
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Whilst Jim is sounding off about Damara and the meeting about the EV station having been postponed, Jazzer is concerned about Jim's spectacles and Susan is waspish about Jazzer being in the shop at all. She is stacking shelves 'for proper customers' and if Jazzer's not one perhaps he ought to clear off. Jim reasonably points out there is no-one else in, but according to Susan they could come in at any moment. He then turns to the Great Spectacle Mystery; Alistair being sure that Jim was wearing his spectacles when he got home at the end of the night is not strong testimony: no supporting evidence, no photographs, and as Jazzer says, he also swore he came home wearing his shirt, which he didn't. Susan says they've lost Jim's glasses and Alistair's shirt. Chris remembers putting the glasses on a statue of a dog in Borchester, and Neil took a photograph of all of them at the restaurant, which shows Jim without his specs. Jim declares it to be a three-pipe problem, and Susan says only because they've missed the obvious: if they put all the photos together and look at the times they were taken... We'd have a time-line! exclaims Jim, while Jazzer adds they would know where they were last seen. Susan says 'Elementary really' in some triumph.

Weaver is greeting Stella, who is home from her holiday; She asks if he has been good while she was away. Yes, says Adam, and they have all loved having him, especially Xander; did Stella enjoy herself? It was lovely to spend time with her sister and her new family. How have things been going with Adam and Ian? Home Farm? Brian managed without her? Adam tells her Brian is getting back into the swing of things. Stella will call by this afternoon: she is actually looking forward to getting back.

Now that Jim and Jazzer have been through all the photos and there is no sign of the spectacles after the restaurant, Jim thinks it is solved, but Jazzer then find one more: him and Jim on the green, with Jazzer wearing the glasses. Jim casts his mind back and remembers a van coming along, Chuck's Chips! exclaims Jazzer. They flagged it down, and now conclude the specs must have been left on the counter. They can ask whether Chuck keeps lost property. Jazzer happens to know that Chuck's Chips does a Friday lunchtime stint in a lay-by just outside Lakey Green. Tally-ho!

When Stella opens the door of the Home Farm office, she finds Brian sitting at her desk, which gives her a surprise. He says he wanted to be there to welcome her back, and then when she thanks him for this he asks her to excuse him: he has a call to make. He'd like Adam to join them; when Stella asks why Brian says 'as a witness.'

Jazzer has established that Chuck did indeed put Jim's spectacles into his lost property box, but after a long narrative reveals that he has been unable to claim them: somebody picked them up on Monday. Chuck can't remember who it was. Jazzer does recall someone mentioning the chip van earlier in the week, though; just dropped it into the conversation, which was a bit strange. Jim demands to know who it was.

Now Adam has arrived, perhaps someone can tell Stella what this is all about? Why did they need a third party present, to discuss what? When she asks Adam if he knows, he tells her he doesn't. Brian can tell her now, though: he's been going through the books and noticed a large deposit for a new disc drill. 'Ah. Yes,' says Stella. All in all a rather substantial decision for her to make on her own, he intimates, and he'd like to hear her thinking on the subject.

Jim and Jazzer have called round to see Susan, who was expecting them sooner or later. It emerges that having found out that they had been left at Chuck's Chips, she has claimed and retained Jim's glasses. She's had them since Monday. Jazzer and Jim are understandably rather indignant, and Jim wants to know why she went to all this trouble. She informs him that she was waiting for an apology from him before handing over his prescription glasses: he was short with her about losing her sun-glasses in the shop: he was sarky and rude about it. Jim immediately tells her he will gladly say sorry, and to Jazzer's loudly expressed disapproval says it was thoughtless and unkind of him. Susan graciously accepts his apology and hands over his property. 'And thus the whirligig of time brings his revenges,' remarks Jim.

Stella is now finally showing Brian and Adam some figures as opposed to going on about what a fantastic drill it is; Adam is impressed by the financial and environmental returns, but Brian says the advantages are not really the point. She says they need the drill; he disputes that they need it. She asserts that they couldn't keep putting off the decision; he says sharply that is her assumption. According to her it was more than an assumption; she talked to him about it. And did he tell her to go ahead? He put off deciding, she says indignantly; he suggests that was in fact a decision in itself: if she's going to read anything into his not deciding she has to take it to mean 'don't go ahead'. She doesn't see it, and it wasn't just her forging on regardless; she put all the details in her quarterly report. [When was that? The quarter would be it the end of March, and she put in the order in time for the Special Offer which ended on 31st January. Chris.] That went to everyone, and there were no objections. Brian points out that 'no objections' does not constitute permission to proceed. 'I didn't need permission: I was authorised!' exclaims Stella. Really? enquires Brian. 'Yes!' says Stella, looking at Adam. 'Adam,' she prompts him, 'I asked about this, we had a conversation.' Adam agrees that they did, but when she further says that he said she should consider herself in charge while the family were grieving he denies it and says that he told her she had the day-to-day running of Home Farm; he certainly didn't agree to her buying the drill. You weren't authorised to do that, he affirms, and Brian seizes on this: that is exactly what they are talking about here. She wants to know why 'you' didn't stop her then [It's unclear whether she means Brian or Adam or both. Chris]. Did 'you' even read her quarterly report? She should have done what Brian did, and got a witness to the conversation. Brian tells her that's enough: she is more or less calling Adam a liar. She points out that there are two versions of what was said. Brian says that he knows who he is inclined to believe. He's given her a chance to explain herself, and she has failed to come up with a plausible response. She's done exactly what she wants against the interests of Home Farm and the family, and as far as he can see that counts as gross misconduct. She splutters that this is ridiculous, but Brian carries on speaking: she can therefore consider her contract terminated. Effective immediately.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 4th June, 2023

Ruth reckons it's so unfair, and Freddie gets a break.

Characters: David, Ben, Ruth, Stella, Freddie
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Marina Caldarone
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The latest B&B guest at Brookfield has just finished breakfast and gone for a shower, leaving Ben and David to talk in the kitchen. Ben reckons she will give them a good review: she said the full vegan breakfast was the best she's ever had. David wonders briefly why a vegan would really want to stay in a farm and not try all the lovely local meat, and Ben laughs at him because he says the same thing every time. Apparently Marianne is visiting her grandma at The Laurels, so Ben will probably see her there later. She will miss Open Farm Sunday next week; but Brookfield is fully booked that weekend. Ben will do another social media push about Open Farm Sunday later today. David mentions that Bridge Farm have decided not to be part of it this year, which makes no sense to him but he is not complaining if Brookfield can pull in some of their punters. Ben has thought that they can add B&B breakfast bacon butties to the refreshments in the barn, and David thinks it's a great idea. Pip is going to be with Jill and Leonard in the barn, so she can be on bacon frying. Mum is doing the milking parlour and Josh is on the rest, and David will set up the stock pens and a tractor for the kids. Ben meanwhile will be troubleshooting and chatting; he will also do a couple of sessions with Bess. David finds it good to see Ben happy.

Stella has come to talk to Ruth, ostensibly about her holiday, but as soon as she's told Ruth that the wedding was lovely she droops until Ruth asks what is up and hopes Brian hasn't left her with all the admin, tells her that too much work isn't the problem, and that Brian, on Friday, sacked her. Ruth expresses surprise and disbelief, and Stella backs off saying she will ring Ruth later, but Ruth is not going to let this drama vanish, and talks her into coming to look over the young stock with her, which presents no difficulty at all. Start at the beginning and tell me everything, says Ruth in her quiet concerned voice.

It seems that Freddie doesn't just have a new website: he has a new multi-media platform, or so he tells Ben. He plans to be a club DJ. Ben is all for it but asks what about his job at Lower Loxley? Freddie dismisses that; the trustees see him as a drug dealer and will always stand in his way. When Ben sympathises that it is so unfair, Freddie tells him they think he is inexperienced and now they suspect him of destroying valuable paintings [Oh yeah. Too big for an ordinary house, not a known artist, not a known subject? Couple of hundred quid tops, probably. Chris], which he doesn't. He could do fifty incredible events and they'd still see him as an ex-con. Ben says that in that case they are stupid. But with the DJ, Freddie goes on, he doesn't have to answer to them. As they have been talking, Ben has sorted out the Brookfield social media campaign, with a timer so new pages go up each day; Freddie says it's great, but immediately reverts to his own concerns: DJ Freddie P in cyberspace. He starts it playing, and Ben thinks it's brilliant. There's a photo of Freddie with Rylan, and a sample of Freddie's new mix. Forget these crusties who are the trustees!

Ruth can't understand why Brian sacked Stella for ordering the drill; according to Stella he claims that putting down the payment was gross misconduct. Ruth thinks it's ridiculous; Stella asserts that the drill is central to 'our' [presumably she mis-spoke and meant 'my'. Chris] plans for regenerative farming. When Ruth asks whether Brian knew that Stella says yes; it was in her last quarterly report to the partnership, outlining the advantages, the necessity [A report she put in front of them between 26th and 31st January, presumably, because after that she had already put down the deposit. Chris.], and there were no objections. She asserts that Brian has called it gross misconduct because he's furious she went ahead and made the payment without authorisation. Ruth is confused: isn't Stella saying he did authorise it? Stella admits he didn't; it was a very uncomfortable conversation. She had to order the drill, and she had to get an answer from a man whose wife had just died: it was awful. She didn't know, and she tracked him down to confront him. He was still reeling from the shock, but she had to secure the price and bill time. Ruth agrees it couldn't have waited. Stella could see it would be no use talking to Brian, so she spoke to Adam instead, and he made it crystal clear that the best thing she could do for the family was to get on with her job. He basically told her to manage Home Farm and that's what she did, that's all she did. Ruth thinks it's awful, but she's sure that if Stella gives Brian a day or two he'll come round. He's been out of the loop, grieving: at the best of times he's impossibly stubborn and proud, but he just needs to calm down. Stella doesn't think so. Ruth thinks that when Adam has had a chance to explain what happened and what he said, Brian will understand. But Adam was there when Brian sacked her, exclaims Stella; Brian wanted him there as a witness. Ruth thinks it outrageous that Adam didn't back Stella up, and Stella says that when pushed he couldn't fully deny that he had said Stella was in charge. Ruth suggests that he might have meant 'hold the fort' as in just keep things ticking over but don't make any big decisions; Stella assures her she wouldn't have made the payment without Adam's go-ahead. She knew she needed authorisation: that's why she went storming down to Willow Cottage on that awful Monday. Adam explained things, and she went to see him later in the week to get the decision. Ruth thinks he may not have realised he was giving her authorisation to put down the payment: he was grieving too. Stella is convinced Adam knew exactly what they were talking about: when he said she was in charge it was in direct response to her question about whether she should order the drill. [It really wasn't. See below. Chris] He told her to take the reins, to make the big decisions, and now he's denying it.

Freddie has rung Ben triumphantly: within an hour of the website going live he has been offered a gig in Birmingham on Wednesday. [A cancellation. Gus.] Ben is delighted for him. He invites Ben to join him, but Ben can't: he has a really busy week, and he's at The Laurels on Thursday. He says he'll think about it, which, like Stella, Freddie takes as consent, but in this case Ben makes it absolutely clear that it isn't. He rings off as David comes in, and when he tells David what it was about David says he and Ruth can sort out B&B guests if they get any, but Ben doesn't think he'll go, and David assures him he doesn't have to: he's sure Freddie would understand.

Ruth has now gone over to The Bungalow, and Stella continues to air her grievances; Ruth is mad with Brian for over-reacting. Stella is just thinking about all the things she wanted to do; she can't believe it's all just been snatched away from her. Ruth asks her what now, and Stella thinks she has to convince someone that Brian has no right to sack her. Someone official? asks Ruth. Stella thinks she should go to an expert in agricultural employment law, and Ruth reckons she'd probably be entitled to compensation, but that isn't what Stella wants. She wants to be an estate manager. Ruth feels the money would give her time to work out what to do, but Stella likes Ambridge: Home Farm is exactly where she wants to be, eighteen hundred acres to look after and the best part of another thousand with contracting at BL, growing food sustainably, caring for the environment, it's her thing. It might be Brian's farm, but she'd already put her heart into that land. Then she's definitely not going to walk away? enquires Ruth. No; she's not leaving Home Farm without a fight.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti



On 26th January, after being advised by Ruth that everyone has an equal say in running the farm, Stella went and buttonholed Adam. At the time he was on his way to book an appointment to register Jennifer's death, having just had a rather bruising interview during which he had been castigating Brian for not having arranged the funeral in advance of the death (ie during the less than two months during which Jennifer had known she was going to die fairly soon).
That conversation in full:

Stella (clearly continuing an ongoing spiel): I mean Adam, it's an incredible piece of kit. It can plant straight into long stubble without disturbing the soil –
A
dam: Right, OK.
S: Really is state-of-the-art –
A: You don't need to go on, I get the picture.
S: Sorry. I – I just didn't know how much Brian had told you.
A: He hasn't told me anything.
S: Ach. Well –
A: If that's what you and Brian have been discussing though, well I'm just glad he's finally been won over to regenerative farming. Now, I don't mean to be rude –
S: Yes, but –
A: I need to make a call.
S: But you're sure, though. I can put the order in. It's just that – it is a lot of money, and you definitely don't need to talk to the rest of the family?
A: Stella, honestly –
S: I don't mean to be an extra burden.
A: Look –
S: If I knew I was free to make decisions then I'd be able to leave you in peace.
A (huffs out air): To be absolutely frank, the way Brian is I don't see him coming back to the farm for a while yet. I don't think any of us are anywhere near being able to think about it.
S: No, of course.
A: What we need is the peace of mind of knowing it's all being looked after. You're employed by the partnership to manage Home Farm.
S: So –
A: So you don't need to wait for us to make big decisions. Take the reins, Stella. We'll all be grateful.

Monday 5th June, 2023

It's not easy being a grandfather, for Neil or for Tony.
Characters: Tom, Tony, George, Neil, Kirsty, Emma
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Marina Caldarone
Editor: Jeremy Howe

At the Edible Forest Garden, Tom’s greeting makes Tony, who is doing a spot of hoeing, jump. Tony, who is clearly distracted, confesses he had a sleepless night, and Tom can guess why. Tony just wants Him locked up and out of their lives. He complains that the scorching sun is too much, and Tom has just the thing for him, courtesy of Helen – a strawberry ice cream. While it is a lovely thought, Tony fears that Helen has enough on her plate without worrying about him. Tom invites his father to sit with him in the shade for a bit. It’s peaceful, Tom observes as they admire the Edible Forest Garden, and Tony says it’s only going to get better: well done, Adam! Adam’s at Home Farm today, though; Tony hopes that Adam won’t feel obliged to go back there because of what happened with Stella, as he likes having him at Bridge Farm. Tony asks if Tom is OK with Helen’s decision not to do Open Farm Sunday, and Tom says that he is, and in fact is relieved not to have to manhandle that godforsaken wooden cow (that Bert made for them, Tony interjects) again; Tom agrees with Helen that handling another big event right now might push them all over the edge, but they’ll still have visitors… The surprise inspection really unsettled her, they concur, and Tony reckons that just knowing Titchener is in the country must be unbearable for her. ‘But what can we do?’ Tom wails; nothing but sit and wait to see what He does next, Tony tells him despairingly.

George’s breezy greeting to his grandfather is cut off as Neil tells him that he should knock on the office door but yes, he did want to see him. While it’s nice having George to stay at Ambridge View and seeing him and his Nana having so much fun with George’s games – she’s getting good at some of them and can be a right laugh, according to George – there’s a time and a place for banter and backchat, and work is neither of those. When George queries what he means, Neil spells it out: when George is talking to his supervisors, he needs to have some respect. George protests that he would never disrespect his Grandad and an exasperated Neil says he was talking about Hannah, not himself. ‘I knew it’, George mutters before asking what Hannah has said. Keeping his temper in check with some effort, Neil tells George that Hannah is his boss and it is therefore his job to listen to her and learn from her and while he’s at it to watch his tone in future and to lose the cheek. Clearly unbamboozled by George’s ‘Sorry, Grandad’, he points out that Hannah is a very experienced pig farmer. George says he gets it and, unreassuringly, that he will see Hannah has nothing to complain about, and Neil orders him back to work, adding that he is expecting a glowing report at the end of the afternoon.

Presumably in the environs of the dairy, Tom encounters Kirsty, who asks him if he has time to join her for a coffee. He doesn’t: he just wanted to check something with Helen, and Clarrie doesn’t know where she is. In tragic tones [where misery is, there shall inevitably be Kirsty also: It Is Written. Gus] Kirsty informs him that Clarrie wouldn’t know that Helen is seeing her solicitor about – surprise! - Rob Titchener. Helen hadn’t mentioned it to Tom this morning, and Kirsty says that Helen texted her about an hour ago and that Dominic has managed to squeeze in an appointment; Helen is just trying to be as prepared as possible. Tom can’t believe ‘this’ is happening again, and Kirsty agrees but says she is telling herself it is really different this time – Helen isn’t isolated, she has her family and friends around her and they all know what He is like. At least the police know He’s in the country, adds Tom, and Kirsty says that everyone is being vigilant and Helen sensible, having spoken to the boys’ schools and put everything in place that she can: the best they can do now for Jack and Henry is to be normal. Tom emotes a bit about how much he loves the boys and how, watching them, it could be him and John playing together, and how it’s so unfair. And exhausting, says Kirsty, before announcing in her best doom-laden tones that Helen had a Reason for visiting her solicitor this morning: Rob has made a formal application to the court to have his access to Jack reinstated.

To Neil’s mild surprise it is Emma rather than Susan who has just come into the house; when she says he must have got off early today just as she has, Neil tells her he had been at work from six and that they are missing Jazzer far more than Jazzer will be missing them. Emma immediately reminds him they’ve got George, and is he around? He isn’t, not having finished disinfecting the pens by the time Neil left, so Hannah will be dropping him home when they’re through. He had asked his mother to bring him over a few things from ‘Little Grange’ [spit. Gus] – vest tops, cap, sunglasses – because of the heat, which both Neil and Emma have found trying today as well. As Keira will be home soon Emma declines Neil’s offer of a drink and will just leave the bag, asking Neil to see that George takes it up to his room rather than leaving stuff lying around: she knows what he’s like…. In response to that last Neil makes one of his strange strangulated pig-noises and like a flash Emma queries whether George is pulling his weight. Clearly wanting to delay raising the issues at Berrow, Neil tells her that her mother is in her element playing computer games with George, and Emma reminds him that Susan always told Chris and her that those games would rot their minds. Susan’s obsessed now, Neil laughs, and she and George are thick as thieves. But at Berrow, well, Neil had to have a word with him this morning. Emma queries whether he is shirking and is told that George is a hard worker and good with the pigs. ‘Then what?’, snaps Emma. Neil says that he has been backchatting Hannah. Is that all, Emma asks, chiding her father for having had her worried for a minute. But Neil is serious, and it’s not on; Hannah is George’s boss and he doesn’t speak in that tone to any of the others: it doesn’t come across well. Instantly defensive, Emma observes that Hannah isn’t exactly a shrinking violet and if she has an issue with George she should tell him to his face rather than running to Neil to tell tales. Hearing George arriving, Emma says she will have a word with him, and Neil thanks her.

‘See you then, Hannah’ George calls as she drives off, adding privately, and with considerable emphasis, ‘Cow!’ just before he hears his mother call him. ‘Did you bring my sunglasses?’ he demands, and Emma tells him that she had a nice day, thanks, and what about him? In response to his ‘sorry-not-sorry’ enquiry about how her day was, Emma tells him it was fine, until she heard about him being rude to Hannah. Did Grandad tell her that, George asks, blustering that it was nothing, she told him to do something and he made a joke – that’s it. Just the once? Emma asks. Maybe a few times, George concedes, but Hannah is so uptight AND she’s had it in for him from Day One; she might have charmed her way around Grandad but George thought at least Emma would be on his side. She tells him she is always on his side but she doesn’t like hearing he’s been rude and, when George counters that it was bantz tells him she knows that there is a very fine line between his ‘bantz’ and plain bad manners. She’s just looking for ways to get him into trouble, claims George – remember how she was with Grandad at first? It’s what she does, plays the victim to get her own way. When Emma agrees that Hannah does have form, George goes all little-boy-lost, saying he doesn’t know what to do any more and that it is really getting to him, Emma tells him that he mustn’t let it and must remember that everyone has to be polite to their boss, then bolsters his unfragile confidence by reminding him that his Grandad really rates his work, that she is very proud of him, and that he should remember Oliver’s gift – there’s someone else who really believes in him. Oh, and has he had any more thoughts about the fundraising? He says he has, loads, but when Emma wants to hear details, he suddenly remembers he’s helping Nana cook tonight and, with a perfunctory thanks for her bringing his stuff, dives into the house. Emma sighs.

Tom is kvetching to Kirsty: for all these years He’s shown no interest in Jack so when it gets to court, surely He won’t have a chance? She hopes not, but helpfully reminds the listener that it’s all about power, and control over Helen. Tom doesn’t think anyone would believe His heartbroken Daddy’ routine after all these years, but Kirsty says that they might, which is why Helen has gone straight to the solicitor: she knows what He’s capable of. Tom predicts that his parents are going to take this badly and Kirsty tells him Helen was going to call them en route to the solicitor, before expanding on the theme of That Man being hard-wired to manipulate and control. Now they can see through that fake charm and the lies and the victim-playing, Helen’s not alone; if His games make Tom’s family stronger, then He’s failed and the family get to keep what matters to them – love, and loyalty. Tom thanks Kirsty and says what she has just said is what Dad needs to hear, as it might help, and sets off to find Tony.

Tom finds Tony up by the Anguses, one or two of which are restless and look likely to calve today. Tony has heard the latest development, and says wearily that he’s fine and that Pat has been trying to get him to do some mindfulness, counting things he can see, hear, smell… it keeps you grounded, apparently, and helps you relax. Tom suggests giving it a go and kicks off with being able to see a Red Admiral [what IS it with that family and effing crisis butterflies? Gus] while Tony can smell the cow parsley and Tom can hear his Dad’s beautiful Anguses. But Tony is still turning it over in his mind and can’t stop wondering what they could do, should have done and might still have to do, round and round and round. And He might get supervised visits with Jack again and, if He charms the relevant people, might be granted even more than that. Tony can’t forget those visits he had to supervise in the tea-room, convincing himself that He couldn’t harm Jack while Tony was there and that Jack was too young to take anything in, then having to hand him over, hear him being called ‘Gideon’ and Titchener calling himself ‘Dad‘: it was one of the worst things he’s ever had to do. And if He gets his own way now Jack will remember Him; Jack's not tiny any more. ‘What are we going to do?’ he asks helplessly. Tom reassures him that what they are going to do is stick together and look after each other and, like that, they will take all His power away.

Summarised by Gus

Tuesday 6th June, 2023

Down their throats with the dosing gun!’ In which the yearling deer are wormed and weasels, rats and snakes scent their chances

Characters: Alice, Adam, Elizabeth, Freddie, Brian, Lilian, Justin
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Marina Caldarone
Editor: Jeremy Howe

‘You made it!’ says Alice to Adam, who explains he got held up spraying the wheat and then pinned Brian down to run through the week’s plans. Alice thinks they definitely need to catch up about dad, but Adam doesn’t have time for a coffee at The Stables as he has to get over to Bridge Farm, where things are full on; Tony’s been very understanding but Adam can tell he’s stressed. Alice asks how Brian is coping and Adam, in ‘not just tired, exasperated too’ mode, tells her that he says things have never been better but yes, of course he’s struggling. Alice wonders what possessed him to sack Stella: it’s all such a mess. Adam denies having any idea that Brian was planning to fire her, honestly, and Alice says it was stupidly impulsive and so unlike him. When Adam tells her it was all about the drill, or at least that is what Brian is saying, she asks whether the purchase really was reckless. Far from it, according to Adam: it was a big investment but not irresponsible: the drill is exactly what they need and she negotiated a good price. Alice therefore decides that it’s all about Brian’s pride having been wounded, although how that sits with her earlier statement that being stupid and impulsive is out of character for Brian is left as an exercise for the listener. To be honest [that would make a nice change, dear. Gus ] Adam expected Brian would have changed his mind by now and realised this was never a case of Stella being defiant… ‘I’m worried about him,’ Alice declares, and then asks if Adam thinks he’s having some sort of breakdown. Competitive sighing ensues. It’s hard to tell, Adam says: Brian’s certainly tired, but trying to hide it. Helpfully Alice observes that it can’t be good for his heart, and Adam says he can’t just tell Brian to go home as the work still needs to be done. Alice decides she will ride up and check on Brian, exercising one of the livery horses in the process, and Adam thinks this is a great idea: she can lend Dad a hand worming the yearlings.

With that decided and after more sighing, Alice wants to know what Stella is saying about things, but Adam hasn’t spoken to her since it all kicked off on Friday. Alice feels sorry for her and believes that Stella must have thought she had the OK from Brian to go ahead with the purchase and, when Adam says ‘maybe but it’s all a bit …muddy’, asks him sharply what he means. ‘What was said and what was heard’ Adam prevaricates; it was that awful week of Mum’s death, Brian was pretty much out of the picture, still in shock: everyone was. Alice queries whether Brian is taking that into account. In frustrated tones Adam tells her doesn’t know, he doesn’t know what Brian is doing at all, but he does wish he hadn’t sacked Stella.

At Lower Loxley, Freddie’s lie-in is interrupted by Elizabeth knocking. She tells him that she has missed him at work that morning and how nice it will be to have him back this week, then insists on opening his curtains because it’s such a gorgeous day; she’s been taking every excuse she can to drink in the sunshine. He will get his vitamin D later, Freddie promises, and tells her how important it is for him to get the club night just right, which gets the usual meaningless ‘I’m sure you will’ from his mother. Freddie’s so glad Ben is going to be there and thinks he will really like his set. Elizabeth says she’s sure he will be brilliant: remember Eurovision? What a night, agrees Freddie, observing that the photos with Rylan on his homepage certainly aren’t hurting. That being enough about Freddie, Elizabeth says she must go to see if the ground staff have got around power-hosing the garden furniture, and Freddie is surprised that they still haven’t done it. She might have to do it herself, Elizabeth tells him, then notices the contents of a parcel that came for Freddie earlier. It’s brilliant, he enthuses: a flexible mic arm, perfect for travelling the world – Marbella, Agios, Bangkok… why is Elizabeth smiling? ‘Because, Freddie Pargetter, you remind me so much of your Dad.’

At Home Farm, Brian congratulates Alice on rounding up the young deer, cheerfully adding ‘now it’s down their throats with the dosing gun!’ But before that, in this heat, he needs to take a break and have some water. Alice offers to fetch it but no need, it’s in his bag just here by the hedge. Jennifer always told him to keep hydrated on days like these and, though Alice’s mother may not be there, he can still hear her voice. Alice cuts across him, admiring the dog roses and asking if Brian had noticed them, then saying that Adam told her he had been up at the farm earlier. Brian says there was no need as he and Ed can handle things themselves. ‘But for how long?’ asks Alice, adding ‘especially without Stella.’ Irked, Brian points out Stella is not the only estate manager around and asks whether Adam imagines that she is. Alice claims she has no idea what Adam thinks but she is keen to know what Brian is planning and who he is thinking of to replace Stella.

Outside the shop, Adam encounters Lilian, who invites him to sit with her while she waits for Justin; she has a lot of old kit from the tack room with her which she is planning to donate to charity. She declines Adam’s offer of a lift home as Justin is only over in the shop, buying heaven knows what; but if Adam doesn’t mind her saying so, he is looking a bit… ‘Sweaty? Stressed? Like I’m going out of my mind?’ he suggests, prompting a ‘Let me guess: Brian!’ from Lilian, who has heard the latest from Home Farm on the grapevine. Adam bemoans this having happened just as things were settling down and Lilian sympathises: if Brian has decided to get rid of his super-efficient farm manager, they will be back to being neck-deep in drama. Lilian wants to know what possessed Stella to spend so much money and Adam’s shifty concession that she might have thought she had permission prompts Lilian to ask ‘From Brian?’ ‘No, from me’ says Adam, and confesses he feels ‘a bit uncomfortable about the whole thing’ and wonders if he should have stuck up for Stella a little more, but it was difficult in the moment as Brian really went for her. Lilian doubts whether it would have changed Brian’s mind if Adam had supported her. Adam is more concerned about what happens now, as it’s clear [to him, anyway. Gus] Brian can’t manage the farm in the long term. ‘What about you?’ Lilian enquires. Adam doesn’t know; he had thought that returning to Home Farm in any capacity wouldn’t be an option for years. Justin’s arrival interrupts him. It’s another beautiful day and so Justin has bought a couple of ice-cold bottles of Chardonnay from the village shop and does Adam fancy joining them. When Adam says he must get back to Bridge Farm, Lilian suggests after work instead and Adam invites them to Honeysuckle Cottage in the evening; Ian will be out. Justin is keen to hear about the Brian/Stella ‘fiasco’.

Alice is leaving Home Farm, but Brian still has a couple of hours’ admin to do as well as checking the linseed and quinoa before the sun goes down. And this, Alice lectures, is exactly why he shouldn’t have sacked Stella. Annoyed but not surprised, Brian says ‘Ah, there it is!’ But Alice is not to be deflected: he’s supposed to be retired and to be taking things easy. When Brian observes that there’s not a lot he can do about that just at the moment, Alice says what he could do is tell her exactly why he gave Stella her marching orders. Brian assumed Adam would already have told her, and Alice says Adam has told her that he thinks the drill will be great for the business. Brian counters that it is very simple: Stella spent an exorbitant amount of money and if he can’t trust her with the finances then he can’t have her running Home Farm. Maybe if they sit down and talk? Alice suggests, but Brian rejects the idea and, when Alice pleads they are worried what this could do to his health, says that the weather’s perfect, he is fighting fit and, also, he is enjoying himself. She admits her father is looking pretty good but begs him not to take on too much. Changing the subject, Brian says that now he wants to hear all about Alice’s trip out with Kate.

Elizabeth thanks Freddie for cleaning the outdoor furniture, which she agrees is looking amazing; and she’s so glad she didn’t have to do it herself! Freddie thought he might as well make himself useful and she tells him he’s done Lower Loxley proud. ‘I did it for you, Mum, not Lower Loxley’ he insists and, revealingly, his mother says sometimes that feels like one and the same thing; not in Freddie’s world it isn’t, he tells her. Elizabeth assures him that he is a great support and she misses him when he isn’t at work; to tell the truth she will be delighted when he inherits, and relieved to be shot of the trustees: she’d far rather negotiate with him. For now he should enjoy his week off but she really does need him for all their summer activities. Drily, Freddie thanks her, adding that fun though hosing down garden furniture is, it’s not a patch on running a proper club night: he can’t wait!

At Honeysuckle Cottage, Adam regales his guests with olives, spritzers and a wild garlic pizza ‘made by his lovely husband’. Justin proposes a toast ‘to Adam’s future at Home Farm’ and, when Adam protests that this is premature, says he thought Adam might see this as an opportunity – the prodigal son returns… That’s the problem, says Lilian: returns to what? Brian looking over his shoulder? ‘Exactly!’ says Adam with feeling; nothing has actually changed since he left. Furthermore, Xander still isn’t at school, Ian is still in the early days with his business and Adam is still thoroughly enjoying the pace at Bridge Farm. Lilian says that Bridge Farm is clearly suiting him so perhaps he should consider carefully before being sucked back in and Justin is quick to add that he imagines working with Brian would present exactly the same challenges as before. No question about that, says Adam. What is Adam’s dream job? Lilian asks, to be told that it is probably unattainable – managing somewhere like Home Farm without Brian on his back [so that’s ‘Home Farm’ then, you conniving little shitweasel. Gus]. Justin nudges that, as ‘poor old Stella’ discovered, Brian is obviously not ready to step down yet, but what a bizarre way for him to behave… Adam says it was brutal, and Lilian helpfully announces that he’s feeling guilty, which Adam explains by saying that he still can’t see Stella’s actions as gross misconduct. Justin blusters, from his position of ignorance of the facts, that of course it wasn’t; Stella is great to work with – professional, experienced, enterprising – and if Justin were Brian he would trust her judgment even if he wasn’t completely on the same page. Sighing for England, Adam says he doubts he will get Brian to change his mind. Justin tells Adam that it is in his best interests for Home Farm to remain in a safe pair of hands until Brian is ready to retire, under someone who would steer the place in Adam’s favoured direction. That’s why Stella, with her total commitment to farming with the environment, was ideal, Adam muses. Lilian says she feels sure that Brian knows in his heart she was a diamond and all three agree that Brian will have a difficult job to replace her. ‘Which is why…’ Justin begins, to be cut off by Lilian asking what he is plotting and then telling Adam merrily that Justin can’t be trusted. As Justin, having achieved his objective, pretends to want to turn the conversation from ‘all this work chat’, Lilian advises Adam to keep an eye on her partner, who is definitely up to something.

Summarised by Gus

Wednesday 7th June, 2023

Less a grand plan than a Gran’s Plan for George, while Tom and Lee have no idea what to do.

Characters: Emma, George, Susan, Kirsty, Tom, Lee
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Marina Caldarone
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Rather than checking up on George as he assumes, Emma has come to Ambridge View with a lemon drizzle cake to thank his grandparents for putting him up, although Susan tells her presents aren’t necessary and that they love having George there; George smugly says Susan called him ‘sunshine’ this morning and Emma asks what the pair of them are like and hopes that George is being polite and pulling his weight. He claims he is, and as Emma accepts Susan’s offer of a cuppa, tells his mother that nana is cooking him a full English. If he’s anything like Emma’s dad, explains Susan, he’ll need something substantial. Mind you, she isn’t sure Neil had anything this morning: he was gone before Susan got up. Ed was the same, up and out before six, says Emma: all the extra work at Home Farm is good for them, or at least for their bank balance, although Ed thinks Brian is struggling. Susan says it’s hard work being a farmer (‘That’s right, Nana!’ oils George) and he’ll need something to set him up for the day. Emma refuses the offer of breakfast herself, as Fallon wants her in early to do the scones before work begins on Jim’s birthday cake. Susan has got a card for him with a picture of Eeyore wearing spectacles; the party’s in the tearoom at fourish, Emma tells her, so if Susan’s finished in the dairy she could watch him blow out his candles, a feat which George reckons might take Jim all day. ‘Eighty-four and still sharp as a pin!’ the women marvel. Emma asks George how he is getting to Berrow and is told by bike. Susan says she offered him a lift but it’s just as quick on his bike; they couldn’t have him going in early with Neil. Emma snappishly enquires why not and her son says it is because he and his nana need their beauty sleep to keep their youthful glow, which Susan strangely seems to appreciate. Emma conjures him not to be late and then, illogically, asks him if he’s told his nana any of his fundraising ideas for Caroline’s charity. Susan says he’s told her it’s something to do with fostering but when pressed George can’t give details; Emma explains they provide funding for foster kids to follow their dream – drama classes, tennis lessons, musical instruments etc. Susan thinks that’s a great cause and that George should be very proud of himself, but Emma points out that he hasn’t actually done anything yet. Indignantly, George protests that isn’t true and that he has a plan. He will go to the tea room on his break and if his mother buys him a coffee they can ‘sort it’ then.

Kirsty invites Tom into the rewilding office out of the rain, which he says is more like mist. He’s delivering breakfast boxes for the campers who arrive tomorrow; Kirsty says they are so successful she’s wondering about offering barbecue boxes and picnics as well, which Tom unsurprisingly thinks is a good idea. Kirsty thanks him and he says to let him know if she needs anything else, and to point the campers in the direction of Bridge Farm. She will: the dairy window has already prompted one child visitor to harbour ambitions of becoming a cheesemaker, she tells him. Tom will tell Helen, as it might cheer her up. Kirsty reports that she and Ian had a good time at Helen’s last night and asks Tom how his dad is doing: has he talked to him? Yes, Tom tells her, and it is Jack that is bothering Tony. Kirsty says it’s heartbreaking but that being able to talk to Tom must be a huge support.

At the tea-room, Lee is ordering from Emma; he has dropped Jack at school and, since his first appointment was cancelled, decided to treat himself. He had this mad idea that Helen might join him. ‘On a Borsetshire Blue morning?’ Emma laughs, before telling him that in spite of Jim’s birthday party later, they are not as busy baking as they would be if Bridge Farm were doing Open Farm Sunday. In fact, she confides, Fallon is a bit put out and thinks the tea-room stands to lose a lot of munnay. Diplomatically, Lee says he thinks the family felt it was just one big event too many this year, after Easter, Rogation Sunday, the light show… ‘And the dairy window to get used to,’ she reminds him [We are used to it. Some of us are sick of it. Gus] before asking how his ‘lovely daughters’ are getting on. Lee tells her they’re good, and he’s getting a bit more used to them being away after the initial shock. Emma says the different time zone must make things hard, but Lee tells her it has its upside: he woke this morning to a smiley photo from Evie, which was a great way to start the day. Emma reckons there are other advantages, such as hearing about the good bits without the day-to-day hassle – and how did Henry feel about his detention? Keira was gutted to get half an hour for forgetting her history homework. Henry didn’t want Lee to tell Helen, he says, and Emma says it wasn’t just Henry, there were a whole load of them: forget she said anything. She’s thankful George’s schooldays are over – the times she had to go in because of bunking off, fights, answering back… Lee has heard George is now working at Berrow and Emma says Neil’s really pleased with him and that having a proper physical job is doing her son the world of good; he’s coming in later to tell her his ideas for a charity fundraising: she hopes Lee will sponsor him. Lee says it sounds as if she has raised a good one there, but Emma reckons George is still a work in progress. [True dat. Gus]

Tom wearily tells Kirsty he’d better be going to see if Adam’s sorted out the casuals. Kirsty asks if he’s heard how Brian’s getting on and Tom says only via Adam, who’s tearing his hair out. He’s incredulous when Kirsty says she’s sorry for Brian; she retorts that she and Roy became very fond of him and Jennifer and that they miss him being at Willow Cottage, quite apart from wondering what their next neighbours will be like. Brian might have had his moments, but – ‘ Tom cuts her off with ‘What? Like poisoning the Am?’ and she says he and Jennifer were very considerate neighbours and that she has quite a soft spot for Brian. Tom never thought he’d see the day. He thanks Kirsty for her support this week and says that having her and Natasha to talk to has really helped. He saw Lee this morning, he tells her, and Kirsty asks how he is doing; he looks exhausted, and has told Tom that Henry got his first detention. Tom wonders if Henry is reacting to the tension at home: the detention was only for homework but he doesn’t want Tom to tell his mum, neither of which are exactly unknown for a twelve-year-old, Kirsty observes, but Tom feels they are all walking on thin ice, waiting for it to break.

Everything is now ready for Jim’s party, Emma tells George, before refusing his ridiculous request for a slice of the birthday cake. She reckons they’ve got about ten minutes before it gets busy, and wants George to tell her all about his big idea. He asks why there are three coffees and is clearly dismayed to hear that his nana is joining them, but Susan arrives before he can protest. When Susan enquires about his day, George complains that Hannah will have him disinfecting the pens again later and is told that he has to take the rough with the smooth. George protests that Martin Gibson had him doing management stuff, and he’s been to college… ‘All in good time,’ Susan says, before advising Emma that there’s nothing wrong with a bit of ambition. Unmollified, Emma ripostes that she is more interested in hearing George’s ambitions for the charity event; so, George, what’s your big plan? George confesses that he doesn’t have one and when his mother tells him that he said he did only this morning, flatly denies it. ‘That’s exactly what you said, George Grundy!’ confirms his grandmother: she heard him too, and if he tries pulling the wool over their eyes, it will be a veggie pot noodle for him tonight while she and his grandad have lasagne and chips. This dire threat seems to hit home. Susan then asks how he is going to impress Oliver and raise lots of money. George’s plan, he explains, is to do something, and tell lots of people, and they will give him money. ‘Do what?’, Emma demands, telling him he clearly hasn’t given it a second thought. He scornfully rejects Susan’s suggestion of a sponsored cake bake, and Emma wonders about something physical, to play to his strengths: how about running? George doesn’t like that either, as he wants to do something that will draw a crowd to watch him. ‘Something you’re good at that will show off your muscles’ says Susan, and Emma points out that, like Ed, George stacks a good hay bale. Susan chimes in with ‘against the clock!’ and, giving her, rather than Emma credit for it, George says that it isn’t a half-bad idea: he could do it in Grange Farm’s barn. Emma suggests music over a sound system and Susan reckons they could get the girls from the Young Farmers to cheer him on – but is George sure he could keep it up for an hour? Those bales are heavy. George is confident in his ‘big guns’, but Emma admonishes him that it’s not just turning up on the day that matters: he has to print sponsorship forms, go door to door, advertise, and check H&S and charity regulations. He immediately suggests that would all be more up Emma’s street, but his grandmother squashes that notion: it’s all about George putting in the graft himself.

Tom presses a tomato fresh off the vine on Lee and suggests he takes some home as the boys eat them like sweets when they are at Bridge Farm. Lee feels he said too much earlier and doesn’t want Helen to think he’s been worrying about them. They are fine, he thinks; maybe a bit quieter than usual. ‘And are you and Helen okay?’ Tom asks. Lee thinks so, but admits they do go off and talk, and the boys are bound to have picked up on the closed doors and hushed voices. Tom’s so glad Helen and Lee have one another, but Lee blurts out that he hopes the boys didn’t hear last night when they were in bed and Lee could hear Helen crying in the bathroom. It was obvious she didn’t want him to know, and he can't think what to do. Tom assures Lee that it isn’t his fault and says they all know whose fault it is [Helen’s, mainly. You’re welcome. Gus] but Lee is upset that he didn’t know how to make Helen feel better. When she came down he made her a cup of tea and hugged her but he can’t take it away. Tom says he did what he could but Lee knows he has to do more.

Summarised by Gus

Thursday 8th June, 2023

Justin blusters, Elizabeth wheedles and some madman actively wants Ruth to speak.

Characters: Elizabeth, Ruth, Freddie, Justin, Stella, David, Brian
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Marina Caldarone
Editor: Jeremy Howe

At Brookfield, Elizabeth is telling Ruth about running into Josh and hearing about the great time Paul and Lily are having together. Freddie says that’s surprising, and Elizabeth assures Ruth that he loves his sister really. Ruth is just back from the Bridge Farm Shop and tells them she chatted to Tom; she thought he looked a bit tired. Laughing, Elizabeth points out that he has twins and, take it from her, they never stop being exhausting, prompting a ‘thanks a million, Mum’ from Freddie. Ruth thinks it’s a shame that Bridge Farm is not doing Open Farm Sunday this year. ‘Encouraging the public to traipse across your land: madness!’ says Freddie facetiously, to general amusement; ‘We’d never dream of it at Lower Loxley.’ Ben has told Ruth that Freddie had a great crowd in last night, and Freddie confirms that it was a real student crowd with a great vibe – a sea of heads bobbing up and down to the tunes he was playing: it’s a weird sensation, like conducting an orchestra. Elizabeth observes that you’ve never heard poetry until you’ve heard her son on the subject of DJing. She can laugh, he counters, but he must have done something right: they want him back. She protests that she’s very proud of him, and delighted they both had such a good time, which prompts Freddie to ask where Ben is as he wants to show him the photos he took; when Ruth suggests in the yard (with, inevitably, Bess), he goes to find him.

Ruth asks whether Elizabeth thinks Freddie is serious about trying to get DJ bookings abroad. Elizabeth says she thinks the dream is serious: Freddie is so like Nigel: the latest thing is all-consuming – until it isn’t. Ruth says that ice-cream vans spring to mind, Elizabeth adds swimming pools, and Ruth mentions dressing up as a gorilla, which Elizabeth reminds her lasted for years. Getting back to Freddie, Ruth asks if Elizabeth sees the DJing as just a phase. His mother says that while he obviously has a flair for it, the chances of making a decent living are remote; she thinks he just needs to get over his disappointment with the trustees’ decision and knuckle down. He loves Lower Loxley: it’s in his bones. ‘Another way he’s like his dad’ Ruth sighs; ‘Both wonderfully impossible and very sweet,’ agrees Elizabeth. Ruth says Ben thinks the world of him, and Elizabeth tells her Freddie was thrilled he decided to go last night. While Ruth thinks Ben’s decision was a really good sign, between the two of them she fears it was a bit too much for Ben. This is news to Elizabeth, but Ruth says Ben’s good at hiding his feelings; it wasn’t Freddie’s fault, and Ben was very proud seeing his friend in the DJ box. Elizabeth makes sympathetic noises. Ruth’s phone pings; Elizabeth asks if it’s more complaints about the postponement of the charging station meeting, but Ruth tells her it’s something much more exciting.

At The Bungalow Justin greets Stella, who is working in her garden. Apparently unenthused, she tells her visitor she can talk while she digs; so, he’s heard the news, then? Justin says yes, Brian is limping along, propped up by Adam and Ed; even Alice has been roped in. ‘Alice?’ screeches Stella, ‘What’s he got her doing?’ Worming deer, according to Adam, says Justin. Stella tells him she thinks Adam might now have got just what he wanted. Justin claims he’s not convinced; does Stella really think Adam wanted her out of the picture? After all, he’s very happy at Bridge Farm, and why would he give that up at the moment to go back to the complicated set-up he left? Stella says she can’t work out what he wants, but he told her to get on with the job at Home Farm, which is exactly what she did; and Adam knows what he said. She’s not taking this lying down and they are in for a shock. Justin asks if she’s thought of just apologising and receives an indignant ‘No!’ Stella says she has nothing to apologise for and Justin [again from his position of total ignorance of the facts. Gus] agrees that it was unfair dismissal. Stella has spoken to an expert in agricultural employment law, and Brian is about to learn she can play him at his own game. Justin doesn’t believe Brian is playing games, but wanting complete control of the farm is one of his flaws… Stella goes on to list his arrogance, his pride, and his total lack of trust in her judgment when she was Brian’s best hope for ensuring the farm’s future. She wishes she had got Adam to confirm his instructions by email: without that, how can she prove that he said what he did? That, says Justin, is why the legal route might not be her best option; he might have a better plan.

When Elizabeth offers David a glass of red wine he wants a large one and Ruth asks why he’s so grumpy when he’s got the first cut of silage done. The silage isn’t the problem, he tells them, it’s the Borchester Echo that’s got under his skin. It has published a correction explaining that his farm is Brookfield rather than Bridge Farm. ‘That’s good, isn’t it?’ Ruth asks, and David grimly announces that they’ve printed his age as eighty-two, which amuses the women. No one will read it anyway, Elizabeth tells him, and they shouldn’t be getting distracted by such minor details. David doesn’t feel ‘Brookfield being run by an octogenarian’ is a minor detail exactly, but Elizabeth says that it very much is in comparison with the exciting announcement Ruth has for him. Describing it as no big deal, but clearly thrilled, Ruth reveals that she has been invited to speak on a panel about grass-fed systems at Agribusiness, which she explains to him as a big Agricultural Industries Confederation event in Peterborough in November. His surprised ‘Why did they ask you?’ comes out all wrong, and tedious banter about Ruth being a farmer in her own right rather than a farmer’s wife ensues. Eventually Ruth explains that she was probably asked because she met the organiser at the Three Counties Show last year and he remembered her [‘Uncouth, stunted, ghastly accent? Yes, rings a bell.’ Gus]. And yes, she is going to do it. She’s flattered to have been asked, and excited, and it is quite a big deal, involving all the industry leaders, and politicians: she can see why David would be jealous… Chuckling, he denies being any such thing. Then Ruth’s phone rings: it’s Stella, so she’d better take the call.

Over the phone, Stella is filling Ruth in on Justin’s visit: she wasn’t sure why he was there at first – certainly not just to be nice, as Ruth suggests, because Justin doesn’t do ‘nice’, or ‘selfless’. Does Ruth have time to meet up for a drink this evening? Ruth tells her Elizabeth and Freddie are there but Stella is welcome to join them, then breaks off to joke to David, who has brought her a G&T, that she is talking to NASA, who want her to man their next space mission. Stella accepts the invitation.

Brian tells Justin, who is knocking at the Home Farm office, to come in and, when Justin says he’s burning the candle at both ends, says he’s just getting on top of things. ‘As long as they aren’t getting on top of you’, says Justin, and when Brian asks him what he means, adds that the signs are there. Brian tells him to spit it out and then asks what has brought Justin over at this time of night. Correct him if he’s wrong, but Justin thinks there’s a large field of BL maize that hasn’t been planted yet. Brian counters that he’s sure that’s not true, but it definitely looks to Justin as if it’s been missed: possibly it was overlooked by Brian and Adam while Stella was away; and now Brian’s obviously got too much on his plate to be vigilant about BL planting. Brian tells him he’ll get on to planting the maize first thing in the morning. Justin sighs: Brian knows as well as he does that a two-week delay in planting could mean a drop in yield of up to 15%. And Justin knows, says Brian, that the ground has to be at at least eight degrees for five consecutive days for maize to be sown. This cuts no ice with Justin: unless Home Farm’s developed a microclimate, Brian needs to admit that he’s simply taken his eye off the ball, and it’s going to cost BL.

As he’s driving Elizabeth home, Freddie says he can’t believe that he didn’t notice Ben was unhappy last night and feels he shouldn’t have invited him. Elizabeth tells him it’s not his fault: Ben must have thought he would have fun, but these things take time. And how is Freddie feeling? He says it’s been great doing something completely different this week to get his head together, and Elizabeth says that sometimes it can feel as if, when something doesn’t happen immediately, it never will. There’s no hurry; what the trustees have done is given Freddie thinking time. ‘That’s one way of looking at it,’ he snorts, and Elizabeth tells him he’ll have more time now to get to grips with the business side, without which the estate would not function. Freddie knows that, he tells her; Nigel used to say that the place was only still standing because of Elizabeth. [I don't believe this: Nigel died when Freddie was eleven, and I don't think he'd have said anything that alarming to a child. Chris.] Elizabeth demurs: it was a joint effort, and now she and Freddie can work together and he can use this time to grow into the role he will inherit, to which he responds ‘you really mean “grow up!”’ Elizabeth denies it but immediately says that she thinks the trustees have a point. Unsurprisingly, Freddie is indignant, and Elizabeth says she is afraid that, without enough experience, he could buckle under the strain; Lower Loxley is a huge responsibility. One that he was excited about taking on until last week, Freddie says; they haven’t even given him a time-frame, which isn’t exactly a vote of confidence. Then he must show them what Freddie Pargetter is really made of, his mother urges. He can continue with his DJ work, but the pair of them need to work together to prove he understands how Lower Loxley works, how her business supports the whole estate, which one day he will own, and how Freddie’s involvement in the business makes a perfect partnership; she thinks that’s really what the trustees are looking for. Freddie doesn’t buy it; the trustees gave up on him a long time ago. He adds that with hindsight, he wouldn’t handle the issue of the painting any differently, and Elizabeth tells him his passion and conviction are to be cherished, finishing ‘one day, we’ll be lucky to have you as its owner’. [One assumes she meant LL rather than the painting. Gus.] Freddie tells her she’s very convincing but it’s just so depressing; he won’t hang around waiting for ever.

Brian wishes Justin a safe journey home and advises him to look out for the foxes, but Justin hasn’t finished. ‘It’s obvious to me you’ve lost your grip’, he tells Brian: he’s not on top of the farm and is flailing around pulling in anyone he can – Alice, Adam, Ed. It’s ridiculous Brian’s still working at that time of night, and Adam told Justin that Brian was up at five. Brian protests that it’s only temporary. Justin pooh-poohs the idea that Stella can easily be replaced and says that the farm and the BL estate need her new thinking and her approach to looking after the land, and the revenues. Brian counters that playing fast and loose with the revenue was exactly why she couldn’t stay. But according to Justin, Brian still doesn’t get it: their businesses depend on her knowledge – and Brian let her go! ‘I don’t need to listen to this tirade’ says Brian, but Justin tells him that in fact he does; there’s still the issue of the unplanted maize, and he has been left with no choice but to call an emergency board meeting. ‘For heaven’s sake’, protests Brian, but Justin insists that it is no small matter, and Brian can’t just brush it away. When Brian says the maize will be planted tomorrow, or over the weekend at the latest, Justin tells him that it is not Brian’s call: it’s clear he made a bad decision dismissing Stella in the heat of the moment. According to Brian that’s rubbish, but Justin continues: unless Brian reinstates Stella, he is going to advise the board to terminate BL’s contract with Home Farm. [Which will not happen overnight, so what is the point of making this threat at this point? The maize will have been planted by the time the meeting can happen. Chris.]

Summarised by Gus

Friday 9th June, 2023

A sow has fourteen piglets, George has a website and Tom, God help us, has An Idea.

Characters: George, Neil, Emma, Tom, Lee
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Marina Caldarone
Editor: Jeremy Howe

At the pig unit, George has finished filling the water-troughs and tells Neil resentfully that Jazzer, who’d texted him about the possibility of heat stress for the pigs, can sleep at night now. George can see how one might miss the pigs but if he were Jazzer, he’d just chill out and enjoy the time off. Neil is more sympathetic, saying Jazzer must be desperate to get back to work, but George complains that he rings every night to check what George has been doing, and it’s always pretty much the same: straw, water and feed. Neil asks if George fancies having something different to tell Jazzer tonight, something more impressive, and when George agrees takes him to the arc containing a sow who had a farrow of fourteen that morning and says Hannah will have told George how dangerous a sow protecting her piglets can be. Full of himself, George says they were taught that pigs have now been bred to be more docile. Neil would still normally leave the sow to get on with it; but as there are more piglets than teats, two need to be removed for fostering. George is somewhat disconcerted to learn that he’s going to be doing the removing – he thought his grandad said sows should be be left alone. Neil says he will distract the mother with food while George nips in and grabs the two largest piglets, and George proudly tells him he knows why they are taking the fattest – they stand the best chance of fighting their way into the new litter; ‘Good lad!’ says Neil [obvious to any seven-year-old of normal intelligence, surely? Gus]. George will be fine , Neil assures him, as he has a natural way with pigs. Chuckling, he adds ‘unlike Martin Gibson’ and goes on to tell George about Gibson being chased by an angry sow after Jazzer sent him into an arc. George, by now sounding somewhat nervous, reckons he should be all right as he’s faster than Martin Gibson. Neil admits he’s getting a bit old himself for burrowing into pig arcs, his knees not being what they were. ‘Not as old as Brian’, George tells him and goes on to relay that Ed thinks Brian is past it and can’t understand why he’s back running Home Farm on his own. Neil says that no one can, and expresses sympathy for Stella. Her troubles are of no interest to George, who wants to get on with it, and as Neil distracts the sow with her feed George gets slowly over the fence, grabs two piglets and nips back over the fence at speed. Pleased with himself, he decides he is going to name the piglets, despite Neil’s warning that they aren’t pets. Undeterred, George decides the lively one is McCreary and the fat boy, Gibson. Neil tells him just to get them over to their foster sow.

At Bridge Farm, Emma corners Tom, who is on his way to harvest the new potatoes: can he sponsor George? She’s got a form; George said he was going to print them but she knew he wouldn’t. Keen to be on his way, Tom agrees, but Emma pulls him up saying Tom hasn’t asked what George is doing. She explains it’s a hay-bale stack for Caroline’s favourite charity. When Tom says to put him down for a tenner, she thanks him and says she needs to get off to work herself: they’re finalising the menu for Tracy and Jazzer’s wedding, and Jazzer wants all sorts – cullen skink, clootie dumplings… Again, Tom tries to get away and is further detained as she questions him about how Helen is; Emma thinks she’s been looking very peaky and, when Tom suggests tiredness, adds that Susan thinks the inspection shook Helen somewhat, and Emma reckons it was probably a trigger. ‘For what?’ Tom asks sharply; ‘for the whole E. coli thing’, Emma tells him, and goes on to say that Helen’s seemed different for the last few weeks, as if her mind is somewhere else. Maybe, muses Emma, all she needs is a good night out with Lee, so does Tom think she should offer to have the boys one evening?

McCreary and Gibson have settled well and Neil is pleased. George asks him to tell Emma he did a good job, but Neil can do better than that: he took a video and will send it to her. George says Emma always makes a big deal out of the things he does wrong. Neil feigns disbelief that George ever does anything wrong – according to his grandmother, he’s an angel. George says that’s because she likes him and, when Neil tells him his mum does too, whines that Emma thinks he is rude and lazy; so, when he’s with her, what’s the point of being nice? Neil laughs at this, telling George that no one can make him rude, or lazy – that’s his business. George counters sulkily that Emma can, nagging at him and picking every little fault, which Neil rightly dismisses as twisted logic. George cites the fundraising as a case in point, saying that Emma expects, and wants, him to fail. Neil is exasperated and reminds George why he is doing the fundraising (to make reparation to Oliver) and who will benefit (George, if Oliver gives him the promised money); there is no reason for him to be lashing out at his mother. He needs to prove that he can be responsible and that he meant it when he told Oliver he was sorry. Neil sees George becoming a hard-working young man, and one with a good sense of humour, but he doesn’t much care for the George who is disrespectful and petty and self-pitying. George says he’s sorry and that he’s made ‘a real pig’s ear of things’; further bad pig-puns ensue and good humour is restored [except for the listener. Gus]. Then Neil enquires what George plans to do with the £5k from Oliver and learns that he will apply for the Farm Management Skills Programme at the Institute of Agriculture and, with the other half, start a farm promotion business. George is aware he still needs to work on his pitch but he has loads of ideas, and Neil is sure that Oliver will be very impressed.

Tom catches up with Lee, and they agree that neither of them is doing okay. Tom can’t stop thinking about what Lee said about Helen sobbing in the bathroom; now, Lee says, with the chance that Rob might be able to get the ruling about Jack overturned, it’s as if she is withdrawing. She’s fine with the boys but scarcely speaks to Lee – it’s taking all of her strength not to give in. Similarly, Tony is just about hanging on, Tom says, and the strain on both his parents is visible. They are all thinking about Rob, all the time, worrying, waiting. The pair continue to wind each other up in slightly hysterical fashion, angsting about how unbearable it all is. Then Tom tells Lee that trying to carry on as normal isn’t going to work, but he’s Had An Idea. Last night he remembered Kirsty’s advice about the family sticking together. When Lee asks what they are to do, Tom says they must show Him that they’re not fooled by Him and that Helen isn’t alone, Tom explains; he wants to go and tell Rob to his face that he’s up against all of them this time – and he thinks Lee should go with him.

At the tea-room, George thanks Emma for his coffee and rocky road, and is told he can buy his own next time now he’s earning. ‘No need to bite my head off’, he says, and Emma apologises: she’s feeling frazzled from a busy day. She tells George Neil seems pleased with him and that the video clip was funny. He retorts that she wouldn’t find it funny if he'd been trampled by an angry sow, but Emma isn’t so sure. So, what did she want to tell him about the fundraiser. Emma’s news is that she has already secured sponsorship from Tom, Joy, Lee and Harrison; has George asked anyone at Berrow. No: he was grafting in the maternity unit all day. Anyway, it’s what Emma’s paid to do, gab to people. Indignantly, Emma reminds him of all the other stuff she has to do as well as serving customers and warns him that he needs to start taking this seriously, because Oliver believe in him and has made a very generous offer. George reckons the only reason Emma is getting ‘super stressed’ about the fundraising is because has to keep Oliver sweet if she wants to go on living at Little Grange. She denies that any of it is about her, or even Oliver: it’s about George stepping up. George says she check her facts before having a go; has she even heard of social media and online fundraising? They aren’t living in the Stone Age and he hasn’t been wasting his time with paper forms: he’s got an interactive fundraising page with photos of him and his abs and a link to the charity. Emma asks when he did all that and he says at lunchtime, in Grandad’s office. Emma is impressed as he shows her the site and explains that it will live-stream the event; why didn’t George tell her he’d done all this work? He didn’t think she’d be interested. Emma says she’s not just interested, she’s thrilled, and it’s not only his nana who can give him a big hug. She reckons this could make a lot of money for a really good cause.

Tom tells Lee that of course he isn’t going to tell Helen: she tell them not to go near Him. Lee reminds Tom how angry he was with Natasha for taking Helen to meet Jess; Tom explains that was because he felt she was putting Helen in danger. Lee asks whether confronting Rob is less dangerous. Rob’s controlling their every next move, says Tom; not confronting him is giving him all the power, but confronting him in the flesh will demonstrate that they are not deceived by him and it might just put a stop to his plans to see Jack if he knows they are all standing together. Lee asks what if it fails, but Tom, Lady Macbeth-like, tells him that if they just hold it together and hold their nerve, it won’t fail. [owow, stoppit, my poor ribs. Gus]

Summarised by Gus

Sunday 11th June, 2023

David advises Stella, while Tom and Lee take Open Farm Sunday a bit too far.

Characters: Lee, Tom, Ruth, Stella, David, Ben, Harrison
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Lee apologises for keeping Tom waiting. No, Helen wasn’t suspicious, but she was irritated at being left with the boys for the day while Lee went ‘to support a mate at a karate tournament.’ She definitely bought the story, but Lee hates lying and asks what Tom has told Natasha. In fact she’s taken the twins to see her parents and thinks Tom is catching up on paperwork. Tom reassures Lee that everything will be fine: all they are going to do is talk to Rob, tell him it won’t be easy for him to get back into Helen’s life and that he can’t see Jack: they all know his game so he can just crawl back into his hole. Hopefully, after today, they will never have to deal with that lowlife again.

It’s Open Farm Sunday at Brookfield, and Ruth is surprised to see Stella, who says since she hasn’t a farm of her own any more [You what? Gus] she thought she’d have a nosey around theirs. Ruth wants to know if Stella has spoken to the contact she recommended. She has, and he thought Stella has an extremely strong case for unfair dismissal, not just because of reputational damage but on sex discrimination grounds, given that only 5% of farm managers are women [if it sounds like bollocks… it’s a duck. Gus]. Ruth asks if Stella is going to sue and thinks she should; Brian may still be grieving but he’s treated Stella outrageously. Part of Stella would like to drag him through a tribunal, especially after having had no support from any of the partners over the last few months and then being hung out to dry. She says that of course Justin is counselling her to sit tight and tells Ruth about the emergency BL board meeting next week to review Home Farm's contract. [Which will of course be possible to terminate at no notice. Yeahright. Chris.] It’s so galling, Stella says. She worked hard to build a relationship with Brian and thought they respected each other: an enormous waste of time. David interrupts them, looking for Pip to supervise the tractor and stop any kids damaging themselves; ‘or the tractor’, Ruth observes. He asks how Stella is and Ruth tells him she has a good case for taking Brian to an employment tribunal. ‘If I decide to!’ Stella interjects, and David wishes her luck since, knowing Brian, she will have a fight on her hands. Ruth asserts that you can't just sack someone for no reason [except if they have not been working for you for two years or more; Stella started at Home Farm in September 2021. Chris] but David doesn't think it is so cut-and-dried: it's the age-old story of owner versus farm manager, where it’s a grey area who calls the shots. He tells Stella that buying such an expensive piece of kit without Brian's explicit permission wasn’t the smartest move. Ruth indignantly insists that Stella didn’t – she asked Adam! ‘Well, that’s what I mean’ says David. As Ruth is denying, despite what David has just clearly indicated, that her husband thinks Stella overstepped the mark, Ben fusses up to remind her that she’s due in the parlour for her talk. Does she think she’s up to it, having only been milking for thirty-five years? He’s sure Dad could step in… Clearly, David isn’t going to be allowed to forget his faux pas about the AIC conference.

Ruth and Ben go off together: his sheepdog demo is also about to start. When Stella remarks that they have a lot going on, David says it’s all credit to Ben, who organised most of it. ‘You think I made a mistake with the drill, then?’ Stella asks point blank, and David evades answering by hastening to rescue his tractor from the boys playing on it.

Harrison fends off an enthusiastic greeting from Bess; he’d forgotten it was Open Farm Sunday and elaborates to Ben about his 30 Days Wild practices, such as listening to birds, identifying trees and eating out of doors. Ben is amused and concedes that being outdoors is therapeutic for some of The Laurels’ residents. But growing up on a farm is good inoculation against the kind of bucolic idyll Harrison is indulging in. Harrison tells Ben he just takes the countryside for granted: the closest he got to it in Bolton ‘were tripe down t’market!’ Since he’s such a convert to rural life, Ben offers to find him something ‘really wild’ to do.

Tom and Lee are en route, and Lee expresses surprise that Tom might not have stayed at Bridge Farm had John not died. Helen never says much when Lee asks her about her brother, but if Tom would rather not talk about it… Tom says it’s surprising the farm is still going at all: his parents fell apart, Pat was diagnosed with depression and Tony blamed himself. Seeing his parents crumble like that was frightening at seventeen, and all Tom wanted was somehow to fix them. So he took over John’s pigs and tried to take his place on the farm; he reckons his parents don’t always see that and think he is too ambitious and only thinks about himself, but that’s not true! Even now, after everything they’ve had to face, all Tom has tried to do is keep the family together. Tom’s definitely done that, Lee tells him, and he’s never met a stronger family. Lee doesn’t know how he would cope if he lost someone like that, and he hates Mabel and Evie being so far away; the thought of not being there if they need him kills him. Tom reminds him that at least he will be able to visit his daughters later in the year, but Lee isn’t much comforted: he’ll just be fretting about Helen and the boys instead. As they spot the entrance to Manor Farm, Lee asks whether they are just going to drive straight in. Irritably, Tom asks what else Lee suggests: they’re not going to do anything clandestine, just walk up and knock on the door. Lee has a sudden attack of cold feet; he doesn’t think they should be doing this – if Helen finds out, she’ll be furious. But it’s already too late, as Tom sees Rob come out of the house and walk towards them.

Harrison is bellowing at Bess and failing to give clear commands, which turns out about as well as one might expect. Ben’s unimpressed, but Harrison would like to see what sort of job he’d make of shepherding the drunks in town on a Friday night. ‘But I’m not doing 30 Days in the Police Force’, Ben points out, before suggesting Harrison steps his rural activities programme up a bit: not sheepdog training, but Harrison could come with him when he takes Bess out, to see the world through her eyes. [Never have I so longed for a dog to come to grief. Gus]

By the milking parlour, David is welcoming the audience for Ruth’s talk, which Stella has ostensibly come to hear. In fact, she’s more interested in continuing to discuss her sacking. David says that he isn’t trying to defend what Brian has done. Stella says she is curious about David’s theory of owners and managers: does he think Brian is just upset because he wasn’t calling the shots? This amuses David, who says nothing scares Brian Aldridge more than not being in control. But in the end he is the boss and whatever decisions Stella might make, it’s Brian’s business and his money, and he is shouldering all the risk. Stella isn’t convinced, and David tells her that at the end of the day, she gets a guaranteed salary and a big farm to manage how she likes. And until now, Brian has given her her head and let her implement her ideas… ‘Pretty much’, Stella concedes. What she has to do, David continues, is to find a way of making Brian feel he’s still in charge. In an ideal world, Stella would like her own farm, she tells him, but unless she wins the lottery or finds a farmer to marry that isn’t going to happen. David admits that he is very lucky, but he reckons Stella still had a good deal and maybe having to massage the ego of an admittedly conceited, cantankerous control freak isn’t such a high price to pay: that’s all he's saying. At that point Ruth arrives and Stella wishes her luck for the talk. Ruth is sure it will be fine, particularly since her husband is there to answer any tricky questions, and both women giggle at David’s discomfiture. Ruth might have been joking, but David evidently means it when he tells her no one is a greater expert on dairy farming than she is. As the talk begins, he says he hopes he hasn’t offended Stella and she replies that she appreciates his candour; he’s certainly given her plenty to mull over.

At Manor Farm, Tom and Lee are shouting at one another in the car. Tom asks what the hell Lee did ‘that’ for and Lee protests that he didn’t do anything, but He wouldn’t get out of Lee’s way. Helpfully, Tom says ‘You shouldn’t have let him wind you up’, to which Lee replies ‘Don’t blame me, this wasn’t my idea, and I said we shouldn’t come!’ Tom asks if Lee can see what Miles is doing. He’s helping Rob sit up, Lee reports. ‘Good, he’s okay then, so let’s get out of here,’ Tom says: they’ve said what they came to say and hopefully Rob’s got the message. It’s all going to be fine, he assures Lee as they drive off.

Summarised by Gus

Monday 12th June, 2023

There’s a welcome at Blossom Hill and the cold shoulder for Tom and Lee.

Characters: Helen, Lee, Harrison, Brian, Ruairi, Tom, Pat
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Monday isn’t getting off to a great start at Beechwood. Helen is chivvying the boys to get ready. When Lee appears, she asks him how he is and immediately tells him that he didn’t sleep well last night and that when she woke at two he wasn’t in bed. He struggled to get off, he tells her. ‘How come?’ she wants to know, but gives him no chance to answer. Is he going to meet her at the solicitor’s or come back so they can go in together? Dominic sounded positive when they spoke, she tells him: the psych report should carry some weight, as should the fact He hasn’t shown the slightest interest in access to Jack until now. Fingers crossed it doesn’t get to court and Dominic has more good news when they see him, she finishes. Lee awkwardly says that he hopes so, but about Rob... there’s something he needs to tell her. Helen is more concerned with why the boys still aren’t downstairs, and the doorbell rings before Lee has a chance to say any more. ‘I’ll get it then, shall I?’ Helen snarls, and goes to answer the door in martyr mode, telling Lee to have some tea and hollering again to the boys as the bell rings a second time. It’s Harrison. She wants to know what’s happened: has Rob done something? Harrison just asks to speak to Lee. Helen demands what for, and what is going on. As Harrison continues to ignore her questions, Lee comes through, and tells Harrison that he can guess why he’s here; he urges Helen not to get too upset. She wants to know what she is not to get upset about, and asks whether he knows about about this – will one of them, please, just explain! Lee says it will be better if they talk about this in the kitchen. Harrison tells her an allegation of assault has been made, Lee protests that wasn't what happened, and Helen asks tightly ‘What. Is. Going. On?’ Lee tells her that it’s all Rob’s doing: he’s twisting it, and she is horrified that he's seen Rob; Lee abjectly says that he is so sorry. Harrison tells Lee he must come to the station to be interviewed under caution and in answer to Helen’s next question Lee tells her the incident happened yesterday. Accusingly, she tells Lee he said he was at a karate tournament; he tells her that he knows he did. Harrison refuses to go into the exact nature of the accusation. Should Helen call a solicitor, she wonders. Lee refuses: lawyers fees are already costing them a fortune and he will just tell the truth. Helen wants Lee to reassure her that he didn’t really assault Rob; he tells her he will explain everything later, as Harrison escorts him out.

At Blossom Hill Cottage, Brian welcomes Ruairi and offers him a choice of coffees from his fancy new machine. Brian still can’t believe Ruairi came on the coach: the train takes half the time. ‘Yeah, and it costs twice as much’ Ruairi points out: Brian shouldn’t be such a snob, and it was perfectly fine. So, this is where it happened then – the kitchen where Helen stabbed her ex; doesn’t that make Brian feel a bit weird? Not particularly, Brian tells him; the place is about 250 years old and no doubt a variety of unsavoury things have happened there. Besides, he has very happy memories of visiting the house with Jenny when they first met, and that’s what’s important to him. He’s glad he made the move; he couldn’t have stayed at Willow Cottage: now there’s a place with bad associations, he tells Ruairi. Getting out of there was the best thing he could have done. This prompts Ruairi to apologise for how he spoke to Brian the last time he was there, but Brian assures him that's water under the bridge. Ruairi says he was just lashing out; he’s sorry he barely spoke to Brian at the funeral and knows he should have been in touch… Brian insists it's forgotten and there's no need to dwell on it, and starts hunting for biscuits. Ruairi asks how the farm is and whether Brian is back working yet, but Brian doesn’t want to talk about that just now. What he does want is to hear about Ruairi’s life in London over their coffee; and after that, he has a little surprise in store. Ruairi is intrigued, but Brian tells him he will just have to wait and see.

Tom pleads with the furious Helen to let him speak; he tries to explain that Lee didn’t assault Him, he barely even pushed Him. ‘That’s not what Rob said!’ Helen asserts [how does she know what Rob said? Gus]. How could Tom do this? What on earth was he thinking? Pat interrupts, to Helen’s obvious displeasure, urging her daughter to let Tom explain, and he says lamely they were just trying to tell Rob to stop trying to get access to Jack, and that things were different now and He's not fooling anyone . Pat wants to know how that turned into Lee pushing Him, and Tom reminds her that she knows how condescending He is, and that He started patronising Lee. Helen demands details and Tom unwisely elaborates: Rob could see why Helen had gone for someone like Lee, really into fitness and not too intellectually challenging. Helen is outraged. Tom goes on to say that (never having met Rob before) Lee didn’t know how to respond. Pat butts in again to ask if that is when Lee pushed him, but Tom says no, that happened when Lee tried to walk away – Rob wouldn’t let him by, and perhaps Lee gave Him more of a shove than he meant to. Helen objects that Tom has just said a second ago Lee barely touched Him, only to be told that Lee was just trying to get past and Tom is sure Lee didn’t mean for Him to hit His head. It emerges that Rob fell and cracked His head on the yard. But He was only unconscious for a few seconds at most, might even have been pretending – and anyway He will have been fine as Miles was with Him. Helen is even more furious: now Tom's saying He’s got a witness! Tom tells her soothingly that it’s fine; the police are bound to want to speak to him and he’ll tell them what really happened. Incredulously, Helen points out that what happened is that Lee shoved Him over; she can’t believe Tom has done this: what did he think they were going to achieve? He was trying to protect her, he says (backed up by the increasingly hysterical Pat) because he felt so guilty he didn’t protect her before. Helen shrieks that it’s not about Tom, he’s not the one who has to live with the fear and anxiety, terrified that one day He’ll turn up and snatch Jack again. And just as she was starting to dare to get her hopes up… Pat further inflames the situation by saying that Tom meant well. Helen doesn’t care: the boys have just seen Lee taken off in a police car, what if he’s charged, and what is this going to do to the access case? Tom doesn't know. Well done, Tom: you just made everything ten times worse FOR ME! shouts Helen

Brian tells Ruairi that if he doesn’t like the set-up in his new room he’s welcome to rearrange things but Ruairi is evidently delighted that Brian has gone to such effort – and the old chair from the farmhouse, the one all the children wanted to sit in, is as comfy as ever! Brian tells him he got it out of store now he has more room; it was Debbie who reminded him about it when she was over. Ruairi’s only sorry that he has to go back on Thursday, but he can’t accept Brian’s invitation to stay longer as he has a bar job. Brian asks whether he really has to work the whole summer. He does, Ruairi tells him; apart from anything else, his laptop broke last week and explains that his plan is to earn as much as he can and get his bank balance looking healthier by the start of term. He declines Brian’s offer of a higher allowance and says he has to stop relying on other people: it's not up to Brian to bail him out. Brian says he won’t pry and suggests they just make the most of the time they do have, and he’ll try not to get too distracted by the farm while Ruairi is there. Did he mention he’d been taking cookery lessons? What can he whip Ruairi up for lunch?

Pat tells Tom Helen is still in the living room if he wants to try talking to her. She must be joking, Tom says: he reckons Helen will never forgive him for this. What was he thinking? What was going through his stupid head? he asks despairingly. Pat sympathetically assures him it wasn’t dumb, just misguided; they all wish they could do something and it's awful feeling so helpless: it's the worst thing about the situation. She understands why they went: it was wrong, but they did it for the right reasons. She offers the snivelling Tom a tissue, which might have to be kitchen roll but, as she goes to fetch it, calls out ‘Helen! It’s Lee!’ Lee is getting out of a taxi; Tom is surprised that he’s been released already, but that’s got to be a good sign, surely. Helen asks Lee if he’s all right and immediately adds, ‘You could at least have messaged me: I’ve been waiting to hear from you,’ before asking what happened. He tells her they were going to charge him, even though he told them it was only a shove and that Rob was in his face, but since Rob got hurt, that’s irrelevant. ‘So,’ he goes on, ‘I’ve accepted a Community Resolution Order,’ and explains that means he has to write a letter of apology to Rob admitting it was his fault and promising not to do it again. Helen reckons that doesn’t sound too bad, until Lee tells her that Rob has to agree to it as well for it to be implemented. Helen is incredulous and, as Lee grovels for messing up, asks what will happen if Rob doesn’t agree. Lee tells he he'll probably get done for common assault and get six months in prison. He’s sorry; he should have let her call a solicitor, and she was right about everything – the way He spoke, as if He were the wronged party, His tone… He honestly can’t tell Helen how sorry he is. He shouldn't have let Rob get under his skin. To Lee’s surprise, she tells him that’s all right; what’s done is done and Lee can’t turn the clock back now. The main thing is keeping Him away from Henry and Jack. That’s the priority, she states grimly. Everything else, they’ll just have to deal with as best they can.

Summarised by Gus

Tuesday 13th June, 2023

Helen merely fears what her family might do next; Elizabeth finds out.

Characters: Elizabeth, Freddie, Ruairi, Ben, Helen, Anna
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

At Lower Loxley, Elizabeth has gone in search of Freddy, whom she expected to be at work; could he please take his headphones off? He tells her he is at work and, when she protests that she has enough on her plate without managing the volunteers as well, reminds her that he told her he’s not ready to come back to work yet. She argues that him moping around isn’t exactly going to convince the trustees he’s responsible; Freddie doesn’t classify working on his mix tapes as ‘moping’. He’s had plenty of time to lick his wounds, and summer’s nearly here, with so many exciting events to be organised, Elizabeth cajoles him. She thought they’d agreed last week that Freddie could do his music in his spare time. He argues that they didn’t agree anything; she just told him what he should be thinking. Suddenly less saccharine, Elizabeth reminds him that he is being paid to work at Lower Loxley and that no other employee would be able to behave like this. Fine, Freddie will start back tomorrow, but he needs to go: Ben has messaged that Ruairi’s home and they want him to join them. His mother objects that they haven’t finished talking; oh yes they have, Freddie tells her. He's agreed he'll come back tomorrow, and he’ll see her later.

As they mess around in the garden at Blossom Hill Cottage, Ruairi asks how Ben enjoyed Freddie’s gig, and Ben confesses it was a bit too much and he bailed early. Ruairi says encouragingly that he did it – well done, mate! – and adds that they might even get Ben dating again. This doesn’t go down well with Ben, who’s had enough of that from Freddie. Ruairi tries to bolster his confidence and says he should be getting out there, but Ben thinks it will be a while before he’s ready for that. Ruairi's next question is whether he has been in touch with Beth, and Ben says thought about it, and even started a couple of texts, but she won’t want to hear from him: he’s a bad memory and he doesn’t want to remind her. Ruairi thinks that if he is still thinking about her, Ben should message her; but if he won’t, then it’s time he moved on. And has Ruairi been in touch with Julianne, Ben wants to know. No: the last he heard from her was an email asking him to 'vaycate my apartment'. As he gave up his student flat when he moved to Chelsea (and spent what was left of the rent) he’s now in a five-person house-share in East Ham with strangers who are not students, but that’s only until September, when he gets his next allowance from Brian. Ben, with all the famous tact of the Brookfield family, says it must be a bit of a comedown and asks if Ruairi misses his former lifestyle, but Ruairi explains that most of the time he's just glad to be out of it. He’s not tempted to find a new sugar mummy: when he first went on the website it seemed so fun and easy, and things with Julianne were great to begin with but the problem is you start thinking it’s real. And it’s not – he was always disposable. Ruairi doesn’t want to think about it, and Ben asks how Brian is getting on after what happened. That his father has sacked Stella is news to Ruairi but before Ben can fill him in, Freddie arrives in high spirits and catches the ball Ben has just thrown at Ruairi.

Anna asks Helen for a herbal tea on her arrival at Beechwood. After a morning wrangling her mother, she needs to calm down. Will Lee be joining them? Helen tells her he’s at work and asks how Carol is. This morning, Anna tells her, she walked in on Carol on a stool at the head of the stairs trying to change a lightbulb. Anna is clear that if Carol wants to stay at Glebe Cottage, she’s going to have to have some sort of in-home care, but she’s not here to talk about her problems. Helen tells Anna it’s the same with her gran, who’s started looking all of her ninety-eight years since Jennifer’s death, but Anna is undiverted: what about Helen? Has anything new happened since their phone call? No, says Helen, and would Anna like anything to eat? Again, Anna is not to be deflected. Helen doesn’t know what Anna must have thought about the Lee/Rob incident after all the advice she’d given them; Anna, somewhat dryly, says it would be better if it hadn’t happened. Helen wants to know whether Lee is really facing jail – all he did was push Rob out of the way. That, says Anna, is why she needs Helen to go through it all again with her in as much detail as possible: only then can she tell Helen where she thinks they stand. [Asking Lee or Tom, who were actually there at the incident, is too hard for her to do? Helen's evidence is entirely hearsay. Chris.]

Ruairi and Ben are encouraging Freddie to go for it with the DJing. Freddie apologises again for ‘dragging’ Ben along but admits that even he didn’t expect things to get that wild; it was a banging night, though. Ruairi says it’s all about getting your name out there, and Freddie asks if he’d like to be his manager and get him into those exclusive London clubs Ruairi brags about. Ruairi demurs and Ben, genuinely tactful this time, intervenes, telling Freddie Ruairi isn’t really part of that scene any more. Not with his final year coming up, Ruairi adds; he needs to do some actual studying. Freddie chides him that is so incredibly boring, but Ruairi is clear that he wants to get his degree. And then what? He’s not so sure, but Ben’s suggestion he come back and work at Home Farm is a non-starter in Ruairi’s mind; he’s so out of the loop he didn’t even know Dad had fired Stella. Ben says that means there is a vacancy, adding that someone in the family has to take over eventually, but Ruairi is firm that it will not be him. Telling Ruairi to stick to his guns, Freddie explains that there’s nothing worse than being ‘heir apparent’. Ben is sceptical but Freddie says it’s terrible having everyone’s expectations on your shoulders and feeling bad when you can’t live up to them. His mum actually said she agreed with the trustees – even she doesn’t think he should inherit yet. Ruairi pronounces that harsh, and Ben says that his parents have always made his own position clear: Brookfield can’t support Ben as well has his brother and sister, so he’ll have to do it himself. Ruairi still reckons Ben’s the lucky one as he gets to do what he wants, and so does Freddie: he has just decided to be the next Calvin Harris. Freddie argues that he still has his job and Elizabeth is expecting him back at work tomorrow: he’ll just have to DJ in his spare time. The other two are incredulous. Freddie complains that it’s all right for them, since they still have time, only to be told that so has he, now the trustees have made their decision. He explains that Elizabeth expects him to work for the family business, and he does need to earn some money so he has no choice, but Ruairi is sceptical: is he just too scared to make one?

Helen is telling Anna that it’s bad enough worrying that Rob might get access to Jack without not being able to trust Lee or Tom… It hurts to say it, but she’s scared of the next stupid thing her family might do. Anna hopes that this has been a good lesson about taking things into their own hands and suggests they get back to the legal side of things and outlines the workings of Community Resolution Orders, which are a non-statutory way of dealing with less serious offences, and to which both parties have to agree. Lee has already admitted responsibility so now it’s down to Rob. ‘But He’s not going to agree, is He?’ Helen asks rhetorically, and Anna agrees it’s unlikely. Helen says flatly that of course He isn't: this just lets Him play the victim. Anna advises that as a first-time offender, Lee would be extremely unlikely to end up in jail if the case did go to court; also, a six-month custodial sentence is the maximum penalty and the police probably dangled it in front of Lee just to scare him. In all probability Lee would just get a fine and or community service, she continues, then adds that of course he'd have a criminal record, which would not be the case with a CRO. But whichever way it goes, it could have implications on Jack’s case. When Helen asks her to go on, she explains that Rob’s solicitors could use it as evidence that Lee has a violent temperament, and that she is failing to provide Jack with a safe and stable home life… Helen interjects that is ridiculous, but Anna continues: they could even imply that Lee and Tom visited Rob at Helen’s behest. Helen protests that is nonsense, and Anna agrees but reminds her that Lee has admitted the offence under caution, and even the canniest of lawyers can’t make that go away. Helen’s least worst option, Anna explains, is for Rob to agree to Community Resolution. Helen is all too aware that would allow Rob to present himself as the reasonable father, prepared to put grudges aside, and lets him 'be the better person'. Anna wishes she could give more constructive advice but this has put the ball in Rob’s court and it’s up to him how he wants to play it.

Elizabeth is just finishing a call about Mrs Rafferty’s corkage when Freddie returns and asks if she’s got a minute. She tells him that depends on whether he's ready to talk seriously about coming back to work. It’s all very well him saying he’ll come back tomorrow, but that’s what he said last time… He cuts in to inform her that’s what he's trying to tell her: he's not coming back to work. Elizabeth fails to understand and asks whether it will be next week, next month or what. He tells her that she's not listening: he's not coming back at all. He’s had it with this place, which is only holding him back from doing what he really wants. Elizabeth sighs heavily, but for once she doesn’t get her say. Freddie is not going to let her talk him out of it. She tries to convince him, saying that she knows he's upset about it all and things haven’t gone his way but Lower Loxley will still be his one day… He doesn’t care; he doesn't want it, and never has, Freddie exclaims. Elizabeth says she doesn’t think he means that, but Freddie goes on to tell her he doesn’t want to work for the business either: he's going to make it on his own as a DJ, so she can consider this his formal resignation.

Summarised by Gus

Wednesday 14th June, 2023

Freddie declines the offer of a job, while Stella hankers after her old one.

Characters: Justin, Brian, Stella, Elizabeth, Vince, Freddie
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

While waiting at the bar in The Bull, Brian is not pleased when Justin joins him, observes with fake sympathy that he knows it’s frustrating to be left dangling, and then ‘reassures’ Brian that Kenton or Jolene will doubtless be along to serve him soon. Justin has heard that Ruairi is back, and Brian says the family are having dinner in the Ploughman’s and, in response to questioning, that Ruairi returns to London tomorrow for his bar job. Justin can’t imagine that will keep him in the lifestyle to which he has become accustomed and Brian enquires sharply what that’s supposed to mean, to which Justin observes that he can’t be the only one to have noticed that Ruairi’s developed rather expensive tastes. Brian turns the subject to the rescheduled charging station meeting and wonders if Justin is going to cancel it again: people already think Justin’s running scared. Returning serve, Justin says he assumes Brian will be at tomorrow's emergency board meeting, which Brian confirms, and tells him that he deserves his say but will have to step out while they discuss whether to let him keep his contract. Brian angrily starts to tell Justin to listen, but Justin stops him, saying he already heard it all last week . Disgusted, Brian makes to return to the restaurant, telling Justin to enjoy propping up the bar on his own. He’s meeting someone, Justin says: in fact, here she comes now. It’s Stella, who greets Brian with some surprise; Brian is told by Justin they were just having a little chat about the future. Brian departs, observing that the pair must have lots to discuss.

As they cook dinner, Elizabeth is letting off steam to Vince about Freddie, whom she has told that he cannot just come waltzing back if he leaves now. Freddie saying he doesn’t care is rubbish – she knows he does: the trustees’ decision wouldn’t have upset him otherwise. And the biriyani is catching on the bottom! [Let off a bit too much steam, did you, luv? Gus] Vince is comforting, and Elizabeth says she just wishes Freddie would grow up a little and not be so hotheaded. Vince tells her there’s nothing wrong with being hotheaded, but Elizabeth complains that there is when you haven’t got it screwed on either; she thought being a parent was supposed to get easier. Vince says he’s still trying to get it right with his girls, and does Elizabeth want him to have a word with Freddie? It's not his not his job to solve her problems, and Freddie is her son, rejoins Elizabeth. When Vince tells her that makes Freddie family in his book, she says that’s very sweet, but continues to refuse his offer of intervention. At this point Freddie comes in, greets Vince breezily, says it's never been better, and asks what’s for dinner.

Stella asks whether Justin is worried about Brian seeing them talking and he says why would he be? She’s a free agent thanks to Brian. When he queries whether she wants her job back, Stella makes it clear that she does, but the question is ‘how?’ She could threaten him with an Industrial Tribunal [last week it was to be an employment tribunal, but that was a different scriptwriter. Gus], but he wouldn’t exactly welcome her back with open arms in those circumstances. And there’s no way she’s going grovelling on bended knee. In that case, Justin says, it’s a good thing he has another plan. The main reason Borchester Land renewed the contract last time was Stella, he tells her: they had received lower bids but they’d seen how she managed the estate and thought she would do the best job. And now, he goes on, he’s got some ammunition about the farm work that’s being done. Stella should believe him that she is definitely missed. Stella doesn’t see how that helps her now. While that will have to be discussed at the meeting, Justin is confident he can persuade his fellow board members that it is in Borchester Land's best interests to terminate the Home Farm contract. This surprises Stella, but Justin says that unless Brian agrees to reappoint her, they will be bringing in one of the more competitive contractors. Taken aback, Stella tells Justin he can’t do that, but he says that business is a matter of trust: Brian has lost theirs: now he has a choice between losing a lot of money or a little face. And this way, Stella doesn’t have to get her hands dirty: how does that sound to her?

Over dinner, Freddie tells his mother and Vince about a DJ he plans to see on Friday night and Elizabeth immediately reminds him of a prior engagement. Vince wonders why he wasn’t invited and learns it’s Ruth’s birthday; Freddie tells Elizabeth he will head into Felpersham afterwards. Changing the subject, Elizabeth asks Vince if he’s seen the link she sent him to George Grundy’s website. Freddie reckons the hay-bale hauling live-stream is great advertising: he can’t believe the Grundys won’t be selling the bales afterwards. Elizabeth tells him not to be so cynical, and Freddie asks what Vince reckons. Vince feels that business and charity shouldn’t be mutually exclusive, and confirms that he will donate. Vince enquires about Freddie’s other plans and, when he mentions streaming a weekly mix-tape, casts doubts on it making any money, with enthusiastic support from Elizabeth. It all takes time, Freddie explains, which is why he quit. And he’s going to do a crowdfunding page as well. Vince ridicules this, and is unimpressed by Freddie’s plans for live DJing in the Med, sleeping on the beach if necessary. Elizabeth tells her son not to be ridiculous and Vince asked if he has looked into flights? The budget ones are probably booked up, and even basic accommodation won't come cheap. As they continue to throw cold water on his ideas, Freddie gets up to leave. At least he will have tried, and it’s better than hanging around at Lower Loxley waiting for someone to believe in him. The truth is, he’s never going to succeed at anything else; DJing is the only thing he has that is actually his own.

Justin persuades Stella to have another drink, just a small one, and while he is at the bar Brian comes and asks whether she is being buttered up for a job at another of Damara’s enterprises. When Stella indignantly denies that, he says he hopes she hasn’t been doing down Home Farm because, disputes about drills aside, he thinks it’s in very good shape: when he was walking the crops on the Estate today it was all looking great. Stella is glad he noticed. The same goes for the harvest prep., Brian goes on; it would be a shame to let Stella’s hard work go to waste. She tells him she isn’t sure what he’s trying to say, and Brian elaborates: all he’s saying is that Stella knows full well that Home Farm can fulfil the contract – whatever Justin says, he hasn’t lost his grip. This clearly isn’t quite what Stella was expecting to hear. Brian continues, saying he knows Stella is angry but she knows how vital that contract is, and would she please not throw petrol on the fire. She isn’t interested in making things harder for him, Stella tells him, irked; all she has ever wanted to do is what’s best for the farm. Justin returns with the drinks and asks if he is seeing a reconciliation and whether Brian has offered Stella her job back, to which both Brian and Stella say an emphatic ‘No!’ Insincerely, Justin murmurs ‘What a shame!’ before asking Brian to leave them to their private conversation; he will find out anything of interest to him at the meeting tomorrow.

Vince has taken some pudding up to Freddie’s room and finds him searching unsuccessfully for flights. He’s sorry he upset Freddie earlier and says he’d probably have done the same thing in his place after the way the trustees stitched Freddie up. Freddie can’t understand why everyone finds the idea of him striking out on his own so crazy; after all, Vince started out with nothing but his meat van and look at him now. Vince doesn’t quite see the parallel, but advises him that, given the number of wannabe DJs out there, he is going to need something to fall back on. Freddie growls at this and asks, ‘like what?’ to which Vince suggests a job with Casey Meats. Freddie can’t believe his ears, but Vince is serious. Freddie might not think much of himself but what Vince sees is a good worker who is organised (when he wants to be) and good with people: how does 'Management Trainee' sound? It would be a step up from Temporary Volunteer Co-ordinator – and with a much better salary. All any of them wants is to see Freddie set on a solid path, Vince finishes, so what does he say? Trying not very hard to stifle laughter, Freddie says he’s lost for words: it’s a really generous offer, but him, working for Casey Meats? There’s no way!

Justin wishes Stella, who thanks him for the drinks, a safe journey home; he promises that this time tomorrow, she’ll be back at the helm at Home Farm. She isn’t so sure, but Justin is confident – unless Brian has lost all sense and reason. Stella tells him she still isn’t sure threatening to cancel the contract is the right way to go about things: it doesn’t seem fair. Neither was the way Brian fired her, Justin points out. If she were reinstated, it’s not going to make for a happy employer relationship, Stella observes, and she doesn’t want to be somewhere she’s resented. Justin says in that case she can’t want the job as badly as he thought. Stella disagrees: losing it has made her appreciate the job even more, having the freedom she had to implement her ideas on a large family farm. If she thinks Brian’s going to roll out the red carpet, she’s much mistaken, Justin tells her, so what choice does she have? Even if Brian knows he made a mistake, he’s not going to admit it, Justin continues, so Stella is either going to have to play hard-ball or come up with some other way of persuading Brian to offer her her job back before the board meeting tomorrow. ‘Such as?’ she wonders; but Justin doesn’t have the faintest idea. Has she?

Summarised by Gus

Thursday 15th June, 2023

There’s a rapprochement and a cordial parting for Brian and Helen has an invitation accepted.

Characters: Brian, Ruairi, Stella, Lee, Helen, Tony, Kirsty
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

At Home Farm, Brian has been directing Ruairi’s cleaning of the combine, and it’s all spick and span ready for harvest; Brian thanks him and says he wishes he wasn’t going back to London later, though he quite understands why he must. Has it been nice to be back on the farm, Brian asks, and is delighted when Ruairi tells him it has, responding that it gets in your blood. He goes on to ask whether Ruairi will stay in London once he graduates, then immediately corrects himself: he shouldn’t have asked, and there’s a whole 12 months to go until then. But Brian couldn’t live hemmed in in a city himself; what he loves about farming is the freedom and the knowledge that whatever else is going on, the soil under your boots is yours: that’s a hard thing to let go. With genuine concern, Ruairi asks how long his father reckons he can go on running the farm without a manager. Brian says he’s put some feelers out and as soon as the board meeting is out of the way he will get on with it properly. It’s not something for Ruairi to be concerned about – everything will work out fine. Ruairi says he must get back to the cottage and pack, and Brian asks if he still needs a lift to the coach station. As Ruairi is saying he thought his father was pressed for time, Brian is surprised to see Stella arriving. She greets them and says she’s sorry to interrupt but would it be possible to have a private word?

Lee surprises Helen arranging cordials in the shop and explains his presence when asked by saying he thought they could have lunch together in the tea-room, his shout. But Helen has to finish the display and she’s not hungry anyway. He admires the display and Helen, with sing-song intonation, tells him she knows what he’s doing, he doesn’t need to fix anything and nothing’s wrong. Lee says he thought it would be nice to do something normal together; she responds by asking if he’s spoken to his work yet. He hasn’t; but they don’t even know if Rob’s going to agree to the CRO. ‘But what if He doesn’t? Helen snaps. Would he be suspended? Lee doesn’t know but says he will speak to his line manager as soon as he can, as Tony appears with fresh courgettes. He asks Lee if anything has happened, and Lee reassures him that he only came to see if Helen could join him for lunch. Tony invites Lee to join them at the farmhouse: Pat’s made soup. Helen tells Lee that’s fine: he’s got to eat. But she won’t be joining them – she’s got too much to do.

Brian tells Stella to make whatever she has to say quick, as he’s in rather a hurry. She knows that, but there’s something she wants to say before he goes to the meeting: as he knows, she’s put her heart and soul into Home Farm, and the very last thing she wants would be for him to lose the BL contract. Who says he’s going to lose it, Brian asks indignantly; he hasn’t had his say yet. Come on, Stella says: they both know what’s going to happen. Brian is suspicious: so Justin thinks he’s got it stitched up, does he? Did he send Stella? No, she assures him; there are a couple of things she wants to resolve before it comes to that. Resolve things how? Brian demands, and Stella takes the wind out of his sails when she says simply ‘by apologising’ and adds that Brian is right – she shouldn’t have bought the disc drill without his explicit say-so. Asked to carry on, she admits to Brian that he is the boss, that it wasn’t her decision to make and that she went way beyond her authority. For that, she can only apologise. That’s all she came to say and she hopes Brian will believe her that she loved her time working at Home Farm; good luck at the board meeting. ‘Stella, thank you’ says Brian; he appreciates her apology. What does that mean, she asks. That he accepts the apology and wants to offer her the job back, he tells her. As he said last night, the drill aside, she’s done an exemplary job and it seems premature to part ways after one mistake. Stella agrees, and says it will calm nerves at BL. Stella tells him she will return, with the proviso they understand where they both stand now. Brian thinks that’s become very clear. Then Stella would be only too happy! ‘Wonderful!’ says Brian, to which Stella responds ‘Would you like to tell Justin or should I?’

In the Bridge Farm kitchen, Tony invites Lee to sit down, offers him a drink and tells him he takes it Lee is still in the dog-house, the same as Tom. Lee says Tony must think they are both idiots, and he’d be right to. Tony says their hearts were in the right place and they were just trying to help: Helen will come round. Lee is doubtful; Helen is so distant and she’s never shut him out like that before, not since they’ve been properly together. Tony explains that’s just what Helen does, go into herself: it’s her way of coping. And she’s been through a lot, he goes on, and not just with Rob; there was her brother, Greg’s suicide, her resultant anorexia… I know, Lee sighs. They tried to help every time, Tony tells him, but the tougher things get, the more Helen pushes people away. Lee mustn’t look so miserable – she’s a lot better now than she was then. ‘Until I went behind her back and messed everything up!’ Lee says. Tony’s not saying she’ll come round tomorrow (‘or ever’ mutters Lee) but she’s strong: it’s not Lee she’s shutting out, it’s just her survival instinct, which is how she got through all those months on remand. Lee has no idea how she did that. When the police told him he could get six months, he was terrified! Tony says so would he be, but Helen got through it, and Lee will get through this, both of them will: he should just be patient and let Helen do what she needs to do.

Having gone round to Willow Farm unexpectedly, Helen is apologising for barging in on Kirsty, but there’s no one else she can talk to, especially not her family… Has she heard from Rob again, Kirsty asks her. Has He turned down the CRO? It’s nothing like that, Helen assures her, quickly adding that it partly is, now that Tom and Lee have gone and given Rob ammunition and put the ball in his court when He was in a weak position. Kirsty knows all this – so what is it Helen is trying to say? Helen knows what Rob is going to do: He’ll twist things, claim Lee is violent and that their home isn’t a safe place to raise Jack. Yes, says Kirsty, and if the judge is worth their salt they’ll see through it; they’ll have read Rob’s psych report. Helen protests that she can’t take that risk: that’s what she’s realised. She’s been over and over it in her head and it’s suddenly become clear: she can’t rely on anyone – not Lee, not Tom, not the police or the courts, anyone… If she doesn’t do something herself, He’s going to drive them all over the edge. What does Helen mean, Kirsty asks suspiciously. She has to see him herself, Helen declares; she needs to speak to Rob.

Brian is dropping Ruairi off at the coach station: he’s not in a rush to be anywhere else now Justin’s emergency board meeting has been cancelled. Ruairi congratulates Brian on the happy resolution and his father tells him he wouldn’t have fired Stella in the first place if she had only apologised at once. Ruairi says he must find his gate but Brian stops him: there’s one more thing. He knows what Ruairi said about money but he won’t take no for an answer; he might not be the most, what is it, ‘emotionally available’ father in the world but he can help where finances are concerned, and there’s enough in there for a decent laptop… Ruairi gives in. ‘Good chap!’ Brian tells him, adding that hopefully with that and his bar work, he won’t have to struggle any more. ‘Look, Dad,’ Ruairi begins. The reason things are tight – he’s not in any trouble or anything – he got caught up in this lifestyle… But it’s done now. It’s why he’s been all over the place since Jenny died. Brian tells him he doesn’t have to explain: he and Ruairi handle things in their own way. That means that sometimes they overreact. But that’s how they deal with it. That said, if Ruairi needs Brian for anything whatsoever, he’s always there, no questions asked. ‘Thanks, Dad,’ Ruairi says, and Brian hugs him. Ruairi might not like him saying it, but Brian is very proud of him. Ruairi says he knows that; and he’s proud of Brian too.

Kirsty begs Helen to think about what she’s doing and about what seeing Rob might do to her: she fought so hard to get free of Him and now she’s playing into His hands. Helen assures her she’s thought it through, but at the moment Rob is just toying with her because He thinks He can get into Helen’s head. And it’s working, Kirsty tells her, but Helen disagrees, and she’s going to look in the eye and tell Him it’s not working any more: she’s not scared! Kirsty asks what Helen is going to say, and Helen says she will make Him agree to the CRO and to stop trying to get access to Jack. When Kirsty reminds her that she said herself Rob would never do that, Helen says He might, if she asks him: she’s the only one who understands Him, who knows how He ticks. Grimly, Kirsty says she thought it would be worth it too when she visited Philip in prison that time if she could get him to refuse Blake’s visit; but Philip was just manipulating her – and it’s the same with Rob. Helen assures her that seeing Rob is the last thing she wants to do but all she’s had so far is other people trying to control things for her; it’s time she took control herself. Kirsty reminds Helen that she has been with her every step of the way and beseeches her to think about what Rob has done to her: He’s not going to change, and Helen shouldn’t let Him back into her life. But Helen’s phone has pinged and she isn’t listening. When Kirsty asks what she is reading, Helen tells her it’s an email from Rob. Kirsty is aghast that Helen has already been in contact with Him, and Helen assures her she isn’t stupid – she set up a new account for the purpose. ‘Then delete it!’ Kirsty advises. But Helen calmly says that she is to meet Him at a cafe in Swindon, somewhere neutral and public as she had suggested. Kirsty begs her not to go, but Helen says she has to. He wants to meet tomorrow afternoon.

Summarised by Gus

Friday 16th June, 2023

For a changed man, Rob is remarkably familiar; and Helen never changes.

Characters: waitress, Rob, Helen, doctor
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Maybe he’ll have a refill later, Rob tells the waitress; he’s waiting for someone. On cue, Helen enters. He’d been starting to think she wasn’t coming, had changed her mind – was she caught up in traffic? Am I that late, she asks, but Rob reassures her: no, he got there early. Helen tells him she knows, as she’s been hovering outside. Honours so far even, Rob asks where are his manners, offers her a seat and asks if he can get her tea? Or coffee, cappuccino, latte? She doesn’t want anything, she snaps. After a long pause, Rob tells Helen she looks great – he means healthy, well – and he likes what she’s done to her hair. Helen says Rob looks… different. And what’s the plaster in aid of, she asks scornfully; is that where he hit his head? It’s nothing, just a couple of butterfly stitches, he tells her. [He should also have told her how come he had a visible plaster - therefore presumably on his face, forehead or temple – when Lee must have been facing Rob when he shoved him. Gus of the CSI unit ]

After Helen cuts off further enquiries about her well-being and the farm, Rob wants to know if he can ask about Jack and Henry proffers a late birthday gift for Jack: just a little something, and Helen doesn’t even have to tell him who it’s from. Has she got any photos? Helen cuts him off: there’s something she needs to make clear. She didn’t agree to the meeting to talk about Jack; Rob’s not going to see him either in a photo or in reality. All Rob needs to know, she tells him, is that Jack is fine – happy, thriving, and compared to what Henry had been through by the same age… well, Jack doesn’t need Rob inflicting himself on his life. ‘Okay’ Rob begins, but Helen hasn’t finished. If, as an adult, Jack wants to see his father, Helen wouldn’t stop him [You couldn’t, you dozy mare, him being, you know, an adult . HTH. Gus] but now, he’s still a child. Helen tells Rob she wants him to withdraw his application for access and to agree to Lee’s CRO. ‘Can I speak now?’ Rob asks mildly and Helen indicates he may, then immediately interrupts, asking tearfully whether Rob has any idea how hard it has been to put herself back together, and Henry, and trying to be a functioning mum for him and Jack? But she’s done it, so whatever game Rob was going to play, he can just give it up. He hasn’t even wanted to see Jack until a few weeks ago! Okay, now Rob can talk.

He thanks her. He doesn’t want to turn anyone’s life upside down and he hadn’t tried to see Jack because he knew Helen didn’t want him to. [And because he was a few thousand miles away. Chris.] Well, in that case there’s no problem, Helen says nastily, but Rob begs her to hear him out; he let her speak. There hasn’t been a day he hasn’t thought of her and the boys, and the knowledge that he threw away the best thing he ever had is always there. Just as Helen has had to rebuild herself, he’s done a lot of work on himself in the last six years, living alone in North Dakota with nothing to reflect upon except how much he hurt her. Helen is dismissive. She knows, he’s changed: Miles wanted her to believe that too. Rob doesn’t expect her to believe him: all he can do is be as open and honest as possible. He’d like to think he’s become a better person. Being back on the family farm now his mother is dead has brought back memories of his childhood, and he wants something better for Jack: for him to know he has a father who loves him. He knows he’s asking a lot and is grateful for the chance to do so in person… Again, Helen cuts him off: what happened on Sunday, then, if Rob’s such a changed man? Winding Lee up, making him feel small – that sounds like Rob to her! Rob admits he may have said things he shouldn’t have, but what does Helen expect? Tom and Lee turned up uninvited and he’d no idea what they intended to do. When Helen ridicules that, Rob asks how could he know what they intended: Lee’s a tall, strapping guy, while for him, a blow to the stomach… ‘Yes, yes, all right!’ Helen interrupts, clearly uncomfortable with this line. Rob gives his version of events, claiming Lee kept coming at him, grabbed his arm and knocked his legs from under him, but Helen [while being rattled in a way which makes it clear she thinks it might be true. Chris] denies that Lee would do that. Rob suggests she ask Miles. Helen counters that Tom said Lee just pushed Rob to get by, and Rob echoes Christine Keeler. He doesn’t blame him for defending Lee; it’s just not what happened. Tightly, Helen tells him Lee’s agreed to accept the Community Resolution and write a letter of apology and ‘That'll do. Won’t. It?’ They don't have to drag this through court. That’s fine by Rob: he'll agree to the resolution; he didn’t want this nastiness in the first place, and if it means they can discuss access to Jack maturely and constructively… Helen is enraged; she know he’d do that, try to use the assault as leverage. Rob denies that is what he’s doing. He hasn’t seen Jack since infancy; does he even know who Rob is? Helen tells him Jack knows he exists, and Rob presses for details. Does Jack know his name? Doesn’t Helen think he deserves to?

What else does Jack deserve to know, Helen asks furiously; how he was conceived, that Rob raped her, that he put a knife in her hand and told her to kill herself while he was inside her, that she gave birth with prison officers outside the room? She breaks down in tears. Rob implores her to stop. He’s not suggesting they can change the past. They should move on for Jack’s sake. Jack will find out what happened one day, and then how is he going to feel? Rob tells her he has already missed out on so much, and he’s changed; all he wants is the chance to be a decent father. Sobbing, he begs Helen at least to let him try.; he doesn’t want to be the person she remembers. In tears herself, Helen offers him a napkin.

After a silence, Rob tells her the only thing he's got left in the world is Jack; he promises he will do whatever it takes, believe him. Helen wishes she could, but she can’t: Rob’s asking her to trust him, and if he genuinely understood what he’d done he would know that to be impossible. The best thing he can do for all their sakes is to forget about her and the boys. It’s his choice: he can carry on with this abuse or he can be the person he claims to want to be and withdraw the application and accept the resolution. That is the only way she will think better of him, she tells him, then wishes him ‘goodbye’. ‘Wait! Stay there!’ Rob shouts, and begins to tell her there’s something more as his speech slurs and he collapses with a clatter of cutlery and condiments. Distraught, Helen screams for an ambulance. [Dialling 999 is less antisocial and more effective. Sometimes one even comes. Gus]

On the phone to Kirsty, Helen expresses her fears that Rob’s collapse might be a result of Lee’s actions. As she asks ‘what if He doesn’t make it?’ a doctor approaches asking if she is with Robert Titchener: he’s awake and stable and would Helen like to come through? Assuming Helen is Rob’s partner, an impression Helen does nothing to disabuse her of, the doctor says there are things she needs to discuss with them both. Helen follows her.

The tests have all come back normal, the doctor tells them, and Rob is relieved. She asks if he experienced any visual disturbance or other symptoms immediately before collapsing and he says he didn’t. Helen volunteers that Rob’s voice did change, as if he were struggling to speak. And what about his general health? Rob says he’s been quite stressed recently, and feeling sick a lot of the time. His response to the doctor’s next question implies but does not confirm that he may actually be vomiting on occasion. He’s going to have to have some more tests, the doctor tells him. Helen anxiously enquires what she thinks the problem is. The doctor can’t say, but will be referring Rob for an MRI as well. The prospect of a brain scan seems to disconcert Rob, and the doctor reassures him that they just need to get to the bottom of it and leaves, promising to return in a while. Rob thanks Helen for staying. She asks what else she could have done and tells him he scared her half to death. He urges her not to worry, saying that she heard the doctor: everything will be all right. Helen tells him that isn’t what the doctor said. Rob tells her he’s perfectly well now, look at him, and that she mustn’t get anxious: he knows what Helen’s like! It was probably just the intensity of seeing her again. He finishes gently ‘Don’t worry, Helen, I’ll be fine.’

Summarised by Gus

Sunday 18th June, 2023

In which Pat faces the worst, Lee fears the worst and Helen is at her worst.

Characters: Helen, Pat, Tony, Lee, Kirsty
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Jess Bunch
Editor: Jeremy Howe

When Helen finally goes to Bridge Farm on Sunday to tell them what happened on Friday, Pat and Tony are first incredulous and then angry to discover that she sneaked off to see Rob without telling them beforehand; Tony tries hard to remain calm, but Pat is both furious and clearly frightened. Helen telling them that Rob still wants to see Jack but has agreed to the Community Resolution Order surprises Tony while in no way appeasing Pat's fears for Helen: she has played right into His hands by allowing Him to get close to her again. After some heated argument (during which Pat expresses her disbelief that Helen could have been so stupid, and points out that Helen is doing it again by keeping them in the dark just as she did before, and Helen repeatedly asserts that she had to do it) they also discover that Rob had a seizure during the meeting with Helen: he fell and started writhing on the floor. Because she wanted to find out what was wrong with him, Helen accompanied him to the hospital, where they did some preliminary tests but couldn't find out what was going on though the doctor seemed worried; she only left after his brother Miles had arrived. Her parents fail to fall in with her assertions that she did the right thing and now has to find out what was wrong with Rob, insisting instead that she has to stop this and have no more contact with Him except through solicitors; exclaiming that if they can't support her they had better keep out of it and she will be better off dealing with it on her own, Helen storms out leaving Pat in tears.

The boys are playing with a ball in the Beechwood garden, and Lee shuts the sliding door so they won't overhear him talking with Kirsty; she has come round because she was curious about how Helen has got on at Bridge Farm. Helen not being back yet, Kirsty instead finds out all about Lee's worries in case Rob decides not to agree to Community Resolution, and that if there is the least suspicion that he lost his temper he could be suspended from his job tomorrow, though his union rep will fight his corner: patient safeguarding comes first. Kirsty is unrelentingly optimistic, which of course makes him more determined to look on the dark side of everything she says: what if he doesn't get off? What if Rob's seizure can be shown to be a result of his fall, and the case escalates from common assault to grievous bodily harm? That will be the end of his career. What's more, he might not be able to get into the States to see his girls if he has a criminal record. Kirsty suggests that until they know for sure, they ought not to assume the worst, but as far as Lee is concerned, the point is that it's a possibility. As Kirsty continues to try to talk him down, Helen returns in a flaming temper with her parents. It was terrible. They just wouldn't listen. In fact she doesn't think it could have gone any worse.

Tony is sure this has all only happened because Tom and Lee went and saw Rob, which at once causes Pat to defend their motives in doing so: they were precisely trying to prevent Helen from having to see him. Tony rightly points out that now she has, but Pat insists it was not because of them: he is assuming Lee actually knocked Rob over. Exasperated, Tony says that Lee said he did, but Pat corrects him: Lee said he gave Him a push, and strapping as Lee is, Rob is hardly a weakling. Tony asks incredulously whether she is saying He fell and hit His head deliberately, and Pat says He may have done, just like He may have feigned having a seizure: the doctors couldn't find any reason for it. This is a step too far for Tony, but as Pat dissolves into angry tears again and says He is capable of anything and she wouldn't put anything past Him, Tony tries to comfort her. She asks whether it can all be starting all over again, and he says miserably that he wishes he knew: He hasn't even set foot in the county let alone the village, and He's still managed to cast His shadow over everything. And Helen is behaving exactly the same as before, wails Pat, not just when she was with Rob, but when she was in the grip of anorexia. She thinks her parents are attacking her. What are they supposed to do? They can't just sit on their hands and watch while she gets herself into trouble! But if they try to say anything she'll just shut herself off even more. Tony agrees, and says they have to work out a way of communicating their concerns without making things worse. They have to stay strong: they'll be there when Helen needs them, they always are.

Helen meanwhile is ranting against her parents, and when Lee says 'all right' attacks him as well; he reminds her that Jack and Henry are outside, and Kirsty too tries to calm her down, suggesting she should cut her parents a bit of slack. She wants to know why it is always down to her and why she is the one who has to make allowances for everyone else. Kirsty doesn't think they are saying she does, but Lee puts his foot in it again by voicing his thought that she can't keep something like that a secret and then be surprised by the reaction when her parents find out, and then as she voices incredulity ('I'm sorry?') mentions that it's not as if she hadn't been furious with him and Tom. She immediately tells him that was different, but he doesn't see it: they didn't tell her what they were planning either. The result is naturally that she turns her anger on him, saying that she didn't assault Rob, and the only reason she went to see Him was to clear up the mess Lee and Tom had made. Kirsty tries to intervene, telling Helen to calm down, while Lee, aghast, asks whether that is what Helen really thinks, then tells her firmly that he didn't assault Him. She apologises, but claims she only said that because that's what He's saying Lee did and either way, they're still in the same position; Lee, somewhat put out, asks what she means by 'either way.' Helen hears the oven timer beeping and goes away to turn it off rather than answer that awkward question, and when Lee sharply tells her to hold on because she hasn't answered it, Kirsty implores him not to: just leave her. She's only lashing out. Lee starts to protest, and Kirsty suggests he should go and check on Jack and Henry; she will go and see if Helen will talk to her.

When Kirsty finds her, Helen claims she didn't mean to say that to Lee; she'd just like to feel there's someone on her side, that at least one person supports her. Kirsty, hurt, points out that she supports Helen, and when Helen says she didn't mean Kirsty, replies that is good, because may be it means Helen will listen to what she has to say. They all love her, but that doesn't mean they have to like what she's doing. Helen gasps, but Kirsty ploughs on: she knows how Kirsty reacted to the idea of her meeting Rob, but when Helen rang her from the hospital Kirsty was still there for her; peevishly, Helen tells her that she said she wasn't including her. Kirsty asserts that she is no different from her parents: they've been by her side every step of the way too, and while she's not saying she and they have had to endure anything like what Helen has had to, Helen has to accept that it was traumatic for everyone. That night she was waiting to hear Helen had left Rob and instead was told Helen had stabbed Him, she'll never forget the panic in Helen's voice, just the same way she'll never forget Pat and Tony's reaction when she told them He'd had been gaslighting them. Helen tries to intervene but Kirsty is determined to finish what she has to say: what sort of parents would they have been if they hadn't been upset to learn she'd been to see the man who did that to her? They're scared witless he's going to do it again! But he won't, he can't, says Helen rather shrilly: she's not the same person. When she was with Rob she barely trusted herself, but she's different now: those voices telling her she's worthless, whether it's His or just the ones in her head, she's learned not to listen to them, she says pleadingly. When Mum and Dad react the way they just did, it just tells her they haven't seen how far she's come. Of course they have! exclaims Kirsty, but Helen is not so sure and to be quite honest, she hasn't got the time to worry about it. Whatever they think, it's not going to help the current situation. They still don't know what Rob's going to do next, and that's what she needs to find out.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 19th June, 2023

Harrison's mid-life crisis continues, and Stella is somewhat less than friendly to Adam.

Characters: Harrison, Fallon, Kate, Adam, Stella, Ben
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Jess Bunch
Editor: Jeremy Howe

'The birthday girl', Fallon, is given some flowers by Harrison; she is at work at the tearoom, and he is on duty but has taken time out of work to bring them. He has been on nights and done three shifts in a row, but is going to cook her a fancy dinner. She is having a quiet day, and is still narked about the cancellation of Bridge Farm Open Farm Sunday: she lost custom, and she prepped extra food not all of which can be frozen. More annoying, they have not given her a proper explanation; she has been thinking maybe she ought to have a word with Helen, or Pat, and find out what's going on. Harrison, who of course knows, tries to steer her away from doing that, but Fallon has already moved on to grumbling about Linda trying to talk her into being the fête committee chair again, which she is refusing to consider. Harrison then tells her he has to meet Ben, whom he's stood up twice already, to go for a walk with Bess as he promised over a week ago; Fallon is disappointed, since he's been there for such a short time, but he leaves anyway.

Kate is listing vegan food requirements for an event of hers (three guests on a raw food diet, two paleo, one FODMAP, seven gluten free and three nut allergies) to Adam, who rightly points out that she needs to tell Ian, not him. [I'm not sure what a pizza van has to do with any of these diets. Chris.] Adam's rôle on Wednesday is as a poor, humble commis chef, he says, but she insists he 'still needs to be across it'. These are some of her most valued clients coming to celebrate the solstice and she can't have any mistakes, says Kate. Adam mocks her gently, saying that ever since she decided to keep Spiritual Home it's like she has swapped wellness guru for business guru, to which she says snippily that the two are not mutually exclusive: look at Gwyneth Paltrow. They are interrupted by Stella, who wants to speak with Kate about her event and cold-shoulders Adam, suggesting he can come and see her in her office later. She asks Kate about her midsummer retreat, giving the impression of interest in Kate's plans, while ignoring Adam completely.

Ben and Harrison are talking about not being prepared to be on the fête committee, and Harrison's gratitude for being allowed to tag along on a dogwalk; he is now being taught to identify wild flowers. Ben doesn't mind: he is glad to have helped. Harrison has very little downtime at work, which means that when he gets home all he wants is sleep, and next day is in such a rush to get out of the house he has to take his coffee with him. He's been a police officer for sixteen years, having been twenty-three when he joined the force. Ben says that's long time to have been on the front line, and Harrison admits he wonders sometimes how long he can keep it up. He's been living in the countryside for years and still doesn't know the names of the flowers; what else may be passing him by?

Kate goes into some detail about her plans for the solstice, which include lunch, yoga, and a sound bath; Stella continues to express interest. Then comes the solstice itself: at three fifty-seven, Kate tells her, the sun peaks over the horizon and they celebrate with a cacao ceremony. When Stella recognises that this is chocolate, Kate tells her it is not just any chocolate: it is unprocessed and unsweetened. She adds that they sell it on their website, and done properly it can produce quite a euphoric effect; no doubt, says Stella, but she's a sucker for a Twirl. Stella continues to show interest, asking whether people will stay overnight and how many are expected. When told there will be forty, she wonders where they are all going to sleep, and is told there are the yurts and they will also put up some teepees; the point is that it's a shared, communal experience. She then asks Kate to make sure they don't stray into the fields and trample the crops, maybe with some signs; Kate feels that would be a little authoritarian, but Stella points out she is only trying to protect Home Farm's income, and Kate grudgingly agrees she supposes she could do that. Stella then asks her not to light the fire-pit: they are coming up to harvest and the wheat is very dry. Kate is outraged: they have to light the fire-pit, fire is the most important part of the celebration! It's a solstice tradition going back into the mists of time! [One which Stella apparently didn't notice last year, or perhaps which Kate didn't follow last year. Chris.] Stella would rather not take the risk: the last thing anyone wants is a wild fire. Kate promises that the last thing she would do is put the farm in danger, which seems to satisfy Stella that they are 'on the same page'.

Just flying off to DJ in Tenerife [which is not 'on the Med', where Freddie said he was going to go. Chris] is something Harrison would love to do, but Ben is not sure how chuffed his aunt is about Freddie doing it: Freddie pretty much told her to stick his job at Lower Loxley, and Elizabeth will not be holding it open for him. He can't come back. Johnny's heading out there as well next week, and they are going to party the summer away together. Harrison says he would settle for a bit more time to smell the bird's-foot trefoil, and Ben congratulates him on remembering the name. He seems to be unimpressed by the petty nature of the disputes he has to deal with: inconsiderate parking, hedges grown too high [good grief, and him a sergeant. Has Tim Stimpson ever tried to interest the police in such things? Chris]; but then you get times something serious has happened and it involves someone you know, and that's tough. You have to stay professional. Ben understands: it's kind of the same with nursing, and he wonders what it would be like working on A&E when someone you're close to gets rushed in. Pitfall of the job, says Harrison, but goes on to say the walk has done him a power of good, and identify some ragged robin.

Adam has come to hand over to Stella and she is decidedly short with him, in spite of his attempts to be friendly. She tells him brightly that she has already reviewed the past two weeks' data, and when he says he's sure there will be some stuff she hasn't picked up on makes it clear that she is already aware of everything he then tells her. She turns down his offer of help with the work, and thanks him for helping to hold the fort. He is driven to trying to explain that he never agreed with Brian firing her, about which she seems unconvinced; he tries to explain that he hopes she doesn't feel that he didn't stand up for her, but it was such a difficult time during those first few weeks after Jennifer died and his head was all over the place; it wasn't anyone's fault, and he's just sorry it put her in such a difficult position. She replies slowly that she appreciates what he is saying, and it's certainly not been pleasant. But it has been instructive. What's done is done and she has no interest in looking backwards: Home Farm's future is what she is focussed on now.

Dinner will be a further hour while the venison marinates, which is not what Fallon was hoping to hear: Harrison offers wine, chips and dips, which she accepts. She has a card from an ex-member of Dross, and Harrison tells her about his walk and suggests she ought to come too next time; she doesn't have time, and he tells her that's what he was saying to Ben: he is spending too much time in the custody suite and filling out forms. He looks at other people and their life seems so much simpler, like Rex with his pigs or Ed with his Texels; Fallon laughs at him and asks if he'd rather rear sheep, to which he says 'maybe'. When he thinks about still being a cop in his fifties, why not consider doing something else? Fallon is a little concerned and points out that they have a mortgage, then asks what he would even do? He doesn't know: something out in nature, perhaps. When she repeats 'out in nature?' he reassures her he is not about to hand in his notice, which is a relief to her: she says 'don't', and announces that the last thing she needs is him going all Good Life at her. He says he is just telling her his thoughts and offers to get her those dips, but she announces her intention of going for a long bath and taking a bottle of red with her. Call her when dinner is ready.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 20th June, 2023

Fallon is talked round, and a worm finally turns.

Characters: Lynda, Tom, Lee, Eddie, Fallon, Tony, Henry
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Jess Bunch
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The hard sell continues: Lynda is trying to persuade Tom to join the fête committee, and when he is obdurate in refusal turns her attention to Lee, unfortunately in such a way that he is able to mistake her meaning and think she is referring to the potential loss of his job; Tom manages to deflect her, and she snyffs and says she is on her way to the tea-room. Tom tells her not to let them hold her up. After she has gone Tom tells Lee that he heard about what happened at work, and asks what 'restricted duties' means exactly. Lee is still getting paid, but his face-to-face appointments have been given to someone else and he's stuck doing admin. Basically as long as there's a chance he could be charged with assault they don't think he's safe to be round patients, he says bitterly. When Tom tries to make optimistic comments, Lee is firm that he really doesn't want to talk about it. He has dropped Henry at the farmhouse dressed appropriately for picking veg, which Tom says is not every twelve-year-old's idea of a good time but which Lee reckons at least gets him out of the house. When Tom asks how things are between Lee and Helen, Lee snarls 'what do you reckon?' before asking Tom to make sure Henry is back by half-six. When Tom tries to say something more Lee tells him he has to go: he has clinics to reschedule.

At the tea-room Lynda has encountered Eddie doing some odd-job mending and starts to instruct him about some work he is to do in her garden; as is usual with Eddie he promises whatever he thinks she wants to hear, whilst asking for cash in advance for him to get materials. Fallon comes up before Lynda makes any payment, which irritates Eddie, and Lynda orders a pot of Earl Grey and a slice of carrot cake (for £5.80), which she will have in the orchard. She tries again to get Fallon onto her committee, without success: so far she only has Joy. Eddie says that is the trouble with folk these days, no community spirit; Lynda says she will sit in the orchard, and adds that she won't require milk, just lemon. Eddie is of the opinion that Fallon's refusal was a bit harsh, when it sounds as if Lynda really needs her; Fallon irritably asks why he doesn't do it then if he's so full of community spirit.

It seems that Tom feels terrible, even though he knows it was Lee's choice to come with him; it never even occurred to him that it might have an impact on Lee's job. Tony is not particularly sympathetic: first he mentions hindsight, then he talks about deciding to take things into their own hands. Tom tries to excuse himself by saying it's not what he intended: he just wanted Rob to stop hassling Helen. [And how was he doing that? By applying through a solicitor for access to see his son. Grow up, Tom! Chris.] Tony points out that what Tom did led to Helen going to see Rob herself, which is exactly what He wanted. Tony would have thought Tom would have learnt: the only way to treat a man like that is to keep him at arm's length and let the solicitors deal with him. What if they don't? asks Tom: they could give him access to Jack, and then what? He had to do something! Henry arrives at that moment and Tom is silenced; the child apologises for being late, and Tony offers a prize of five pounds to whoever picks [sic. Chris] the biggest beetroot.

When Fallon brings the order out to the orchard she is persuaded to sit down for a minute by Lynda, who has noticed that she is not her usual convivial self and sympathetically asks her if everything is all right, promising not to try to talk her into serving on the fête committee. Under gentle questioning Fallon tells Lynda about her worries regarding Harrison and him wanting no longer to be a policeman but not knowing what else he wants to do, though they'd still have bills to pay. Fallon doesn't know what's going on in his head. Lynda consoles her by telling her about how Robert, at about the same age, suddenly gave up a very well-paid job in London because he wanted a gentler, more fulfilling life. So they moved to Ambridge, once Lynda had realised quite how miserable he'd become. Lynda is sure that Fallon can't be happy knowing Harrison isn't happy, and that's all that matters: so long as they work through it together Fallon has nothing to fear. The upshot of this revelation is that Fallon agrees with Lynda about what amounts to work/life balance, and Lynda once more mentions her joining the fête committee, assuming that she will.

At the beet field there is beetroot-measuring in progress and some very competitive talk between Tom and Henry;when they take a break Tony tells a story about seven-year-old Tom charging into some mud to rescue Helen, who had got stuck in it, and ending up getting her out but getting stuck himself, losing his wellies and having to walk home in mucky socks. This greatly amuses Henry, but is clearly intended to comfort Tom about having behaved more recently in an equally stupid way for his sister's sake; he says ruefully that he should have learned, and Tony tells him that his heart was in the right place. Henry remarks that he would have done the same, and when Tom points out that he was laughing at him for it a moment ago responds that was because it was funny, but he too would have tried to rescue her. Tony sums it up by saying that Tom is a good brother, but there are plenty of beets that still need lifting, and thus re-starts the competition between uncle and nephew.

The committee meeting is arranged for three o'clock on Friday afternoon at Ambridge Hall, and when Eddie hears Fallon say as Lynda leaves that she will try to be there, he mocks her about having been caught after all. Fallon tells him to shut up and not smirk, but he says he isn't, and in fact is thinking of doing as she suggested and joining up too. He has organising experience to offer. If he wants to it's fine with Fallon, but Lynda might be a problem: Fallon noticed that she hasn't asked him despite the fact that she's desperate for volunteers. Eddie tells Fallon not to worry: he'll work his magic on Lynda.

Tom has walked a victorious Henry home, and takes the opportunity to try yet again to talk to Lee about his idea to visit Rob, and say that if there's anything he can do... Lee doesn't think so. Tom admits he made this mess and he just wants to put it right, and the utterly exasperated Lee tells him that he can't. Doesn't he get that? This isn't something that Tom can just fix. Lee's job is everything to him, helping people, doing what he can to get them back on their feet. Which is more than Titchener's ever done, and yet Lee's the one on restricted duties, Lee's the one who may be fired, and what if he goes to prison? What if he's not allowed to visit the States? Tom hadn't thought about that, and he's so sorry, he really is. Don't be, says Lee bitterly, it's his own dumb fault for being stupid enough to listen to Tom. Seriously, he gets that Tom wants to make himself feel better, but there is nothing he can do: he's done enough already. Lee slams the door shut between them.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 21st June, 2023

Kate is inflammatory, Stella is shrill and Helen is, well, Helen.

Characters: Kate, Adam, Helen, Kirsty, Stella, Ruth
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Jess Bunch
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The clearing up that Adam is doing in the pizza van after the solstice party is interrupted by Kate, who demands that he is to get out there and enjoy the solstice spirit. As he cleans, he remarks that her guests seem happy, which pleases her; she informs him that the day is not over yet and the climax is yet to come: lighting the fire-pit, which is an integral part of her celebration. According to Kate, the fire represents the oak-king's dominance over the holly-king in their never-ending battle season against season; and there Adam was thinking it was for toasting marshmallows, he jokes. At that Kate loses patience and drags him out of the van, not caring that he has not finished disinfecting the surfaces; she is determined that he is going to connect with the deep cycles of nature whether he likes it or not.

Meanwhile, Roy has been kicked out of his own living-room so that Helen and Kirsty can have a heart-to-heart about Helen and how she feels. When Kirsty asks how Lee is coping Helen seems surprised, then non-committally says he's all right, upset about being on restricted duty but he says he's OK and the fact that he's carried on working is a good thing. But enough about Lee! Helen just wishes she knew what was coming next. What if it's possible to renege on the community resolution? They haven't heard anything yet: the police haven't been in contact since last week, and though He did agree to it that was just before He had his seizure. No-one had been in touch with Helen about His application to see Jack, either. That's what bothers her. But whatever is coming down the line, Helen will handle it: it's not like she hasn't handled everything else. It's the not knowing what she is facing that she can't stand. She has heard nothing. It's typical of how He operates: He's got her dangling on a hook. She is surprised again when Kirsty asks how things are with her mum and dad, then mumbles that they are just not talking about it. Kirsty suggests maybe Helen ought to make the first move and all the tension won't be helping anyone: Helen needs to do something. Helen agrees, but not with Mum and Dad. Instead of waiting for His solicitor, maybe she should contact Him again.

Weaver, with Stella and Ruth, is having a walk on Lakey Hill. Ruth expresses her surprise at Stella's decision to apologise to Brian rather than taking him to a tribunal, but Stella feels she wouldn't have gained anything; apart from money and vindication, as Ruth points out. It got her her job back though, Stella triumphs. She is more than OK with knowing that Brian knows she is essential to Home Farm keeping the BL contract. Ruth asks about the new drill; it's due next week, and they can get trained up on it before the autumn planting. And in the end all Stella had to do was a little grovelling; sometimes you have to lose the battle to win the war. She and Ruth are both glad Stella isn't going anywhere – except perhaps next week's meeting about the charging station. Jim is busy rounding up objectors, hoping to pack out the village hall, not that Ruth is suggesting that Stella should tip Justin off; Stella denies having any such intention, though Brian will be going to support it. Ruth changes the subject to things outside work, and the woman Stella met at her sister's wedding: have they been in touch? They have been messaging, a lot. Just as Stella might be about to say when they might be going to meet again, she notices smoke. It had better not be from Home Farm!

Kate is lighting a sage smudging stick, which is making Adam cough. She advises him that he ought to smudge his house; she sells the sticks for a very reasonable £4.99 each or five for twenty pounds. She encourages Adam to write down what he would like to let go of from the past (it is feeling sad any more about his mother's death) and then burn the paper in the fire-pit; Kate too would like not to feel sad when she thinks of Jennifer. At the touching moment after he has burnt the paper, as Kate asks if he can feel all that grief floating away with the embers, Stella erupts into the fire-area demanding to know what on earth they are doing. She thinks they agreed Kate was not to light the fire-pit, but Kate points out that she didn't agree to any such thing: she agreed not to be careful. Stella becomes shrill and indignant, exclaiming that it isn't a joke: what the hell does Kate think she is playing at?

It's settled, according to Kirsty: Helen is not going to email Rob. Helen knows she is right, but argues against her anyway; then when Kirsty says she ought to let her solicitor deal with Him, reveals that she has not told Dominic that she saw Rob. And she is talking about one email. Kirsty reminds her that is what she said before, about the one asking Him to meet her; Helen exclaims that one worked, He responded. [She doesn't seem no have noticed that this did her no particular good. Chris] Either He replies, or He doesn't, and either way there's no harm done. She promises she'll never email Him again. Kirsty asks rather flatly what it was like seeing Rob; was she scared? She must have been curious, after such a long time. Helen says it felt like no time had passed at all, but then again... you know when you go back to somewhere you haven't been for years and it feels familiar but at the same time it's not quite how you remember it? Rob seemed smaller, more ordinary, but with the same eyes, she explains dreamily. She was scared beforehand, but once he was sitting in front of her she knew she could say what she'd come there to say. Then he went on about how desperate he is to see Jack; she thought he might call him Gideon. No, says Kirsty: he wants to convince her he's changed. Helen remembers the tone in his voice as she was on her way out: there was that hard edge to his voice again; she'd forgotten it. And then he started fitting. Kirsty thinks that must have been very frightening, and Helen says it was worse than that; seeing him lying unconscious on the floor and the paramedics running in took her straight back. She even felt guilty. ['And then I realised, that can't be right. I'm Helen.' HedgeSparrow.] As if it were somehow her fault. She knows it wasn't: if it's anyone's fault, it's Tom and Lee's. But He saw it: while they were at the hospital Rob saw how freaked out she was, and that is what annoys her. She showed Him that one little chink of weakness, and He reassured her it would all be OK. Which is why she can't email Him, reiterates Kirsty, and Helen agrees that she does know. She's not going to contact Him again. She promises. She's got close enough already.

At Spiritual Home Adam is pouring water into the fire-pit in spite of Kate's protests, and says the problem is solved: can they stop arguing now? Clearly not; Stella continues immediately, asserting it should never have been lit in the first place, and Kate gives as good as she gets; the two women are having a strident argument in spite of Adam trying to restrain Kate, who asks him how many years she has been lighting the fire-pit? [Possibly since 2017, so that would be as many as six before this one. Chris] And it's never caused any problems. Adam tells Stella that's true and the row blazes on to replace the fire. When Kate asks Stella who it is who pays her and says she is a partner, and Adam tries to rein her in, Stella suggests that maybe they should take it up with Brian; Kate is in favour and reminds her that he has already fired her once. Adam, in a thunderous voice, tells Kate that's enough, at which point Weaver arrives dragging Ruth with him, and Ruth tells Kate that she doesn't think this is helping. Kate says that she hasn't finished, and Ruth suggests perhaps it's best if she doesn't: she has guests to entertain. With Adam's encouragement she persuades Kate to go, and not spoil things any more. After Kate has been removed Adam asks whether they can talk about this sensibly now, and when Stella says that all she has been asking for is a bit of sense, tells her he is really not sure how big a danger the fire-pit is. Kate does have a point: she's been using it for years. Stella is unconvinced: it's been fortunate there has not been a disaster. It only takes one spark; Adam knows that! Is she really meant to risk thousands of pounds' worth of crops so Kate can have a party? Adam reluctantly agrees, but adds that she knows what Kate's like: she's a law unto herself. If he'd known Stella has asked her not to light it... 'You'd have done what?' asks Stella pugnaciously; he didn't seem too concerned when she walked in. No, Adam: if he agrees it's a danger why didn't he stop Kate himself? Instead, he just put all the blame on Kate. Adam can't believe his ears, but Stella continues that it's funny how in retrospect things have got nothing to do with him. As he protests that he wasn't blaming Kate, Stella over-rides him to say that Kate is right about one thing: she is an employee, and her job, like it or not, is to do what is best for Home Farm, and from now on that's exactly what she is going to do.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 22nd June, 2023

Pat is in a panic, Helen is in charge, Lee is in demand, and Fallon is in a daydream.

Characters: Ben, Lee, Helen, Pat, Harrison, Fallon
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Jess Bunch
Editor: Jeremy Howe

As he leaves the shop, Lee is accosted by Ben, who has missed seeing him at The Laurels. He explains this away by 'changes to the rota'; Ben hopes he'll be back, and says Sykesy is unhappy with having been abandoned and is not cooperating with his replacement, Lindsey. He won't raise a toe unless it's for Lee. Lee evades questions about where he's been working and says he has to go.

Because Helen wants a second opinion on the new wheels of cheese, she is graciously allowing Pat to taste them with her. Pat tries to make conversation, saying it's nice to have Adam back and talking about it being the busiest time of year and Johnny being on holiday next week. Helen is prepared to talk about Adam, and Kate's solstice party, about which Ian has told her, but when Pat asks whether she has talked with Ian about 'everything' she calls her back to order: 'next wheel, mum'. Pat reveals that she got the impression from Adam that something went wrong at the party, but their conversation was interrupted by Susan, very determined that they they shouldn't support the EV charging station. She and Tom are going to the meeting next week; Helen is unsure about it. There's no point in committing to things when they don't know what they'll be facing next. Meanwhile she would say the next cheese is ready. Pat [who knows what's good for her. Chris] agrees that it is perfect. She then tells Helen she's sorry if they didn't react the way she wanted: they're just scared for her. Helen asserts in a long-suffering way that she wouldn't have gone if she hadn't felt safe, and Pat back-pedals and tries to placate her. Helen tells her that now she's done it, it feels like something she needed to do: she's tired of jumping whenever the phone rings and when there's someone at the door. Now she has looked into His eyes and shown Him she wasn't frightened, and she doesn't need to do it again. From now on it will all be through the solicitors, just like Pat and Dad said. Pat is glad to hear it, and really does think it's for the best. Helen patronisingly asks if she's feeling better now, and Pat says she is, but it's not about how she feels: whatever Helen does, however uncomfortable it makes them feel, they're always on her side, she must understand that. 'I do, Mum, I do,' says Helen.

Yet again Harrison is telling someone, Fallon this time, what has gone wrong at work; she sympathises very properly, and when he says he shouldn't bang on tells him it's healthy to talk. Then she shows him a little plastic couple she has got to stick on Jazzer and Tracy's wedding cake [it seems she is no longer on her 'no plastic' kick. Chris], the groom in a kilt. She doesn't need a hand with dinner: the risotto is almost ready. She offers him a beer or a glass of wine, and he accepts beer. They then discuss discussing things rather than bottling them up, and she tells him that if he wants to give up the job that's fine: she wouldn't expect him to keep on doing something he hated. He says that he doesn't, and when she is surprised because of the way he was talking on Monday he says it's not that bad. She informs him that it was a shock, that's all, and she didn't mean to be dismissive; he assures her she wasn't, and he just got a bit carried away imagining doing something different. They talk about how his salary and pension make her feel less insecure about the tea-room, which nearly went under during covid, and she tells him about what Lynda said to her; he teases her about having had her arm twisted into joining the fête committee again. They laugh together about that, and then Fallon, serious again, says that Lynda reminded her what's really important: being happy. She doesn't want him to be miserable. If he needs to make a change, they need to make it together.

Helen has come looking for Lee, who is not making supper but has gone upstairs for a rest and gone to sleep. She tells him Pat is there because she wanted to see Jack and Henry, and when he asks if that means they are talking again tells him dismissively that they always were, then asks how his day was. When he starts to tell her, she says 'that's nice,' and immediately asks if he'll be coming down soon then. Or does he want her to cook? He is quick to reassure her he'll do it, though he just has to make a quick call. She instructs him not to be too long: Jack's complaining he's hungry. After she has swept away again Lee rings Ben, and gives him a message for Sykesy: tell him he needs to keep up his physio; Lee will be checking with Lindsey, and if he finds Sykesy hasn't been listening to her, he'll be making him work twice as hard when he gets back. Ben agrees to, then adds that Sykesy is not the only patient who is missing Lee: he hopes he won't be gone too long. Lee hopes so too.

Both Fallon and Harrison are insisting on doing the washing up, in high good humour and with much laughter; Harrison wins, and then wants her to dry up. Then he goes on to say that he was only day-dreaming, not like he wakes up every morning wishing he could jack in his job. He just wonders sometimes what life would be like if he did something different: she must do the same? She denies it, then remembers she still does dream about performing at Glastonbury and when he asks what she'd like to do if she could pack her bags and go anywhere, constructs a pleasant fancy living in the Caribbean, say Jamaica or the Bahamas, with a little shack on the beach selling cocktails and patties, with music, obviously, until the early hours, and then nothing but the sound of lapping waves. She could run a diving school. When he objects that she doesn't know how to dive, she is sure she could learn. He presumes he could come to, and after a little teasing, about it being her fantasy, she tells him that she wouldn't want any of it if it meant not having him.

When Lee comes down Helen is on the phone to Dominic, and he and Pat talk about Henry's exams until she gets back. Rob's solicitor has asked for a meeting with everyone concerned: her, Lee ... when Pat asks in alarm if that will be Rob too Helen tells her not to panic: it will be over the phone and with both their solicitors. It is to be tomorrow afternoon at Dominic's office in Felpersham. She doesn't know what it's about: all he would say is they're keen to discuss how recent developments may have changed things. They'll find out what that means tomorrow.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 23rd June, 2023

Lynda and Helen are each backed into a corner.

Characters: Eddie, Lynda, Helen, Lee, Joy, Fallon
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Jess Bunch
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The water feature in Lynda's garden is being fitted by Eddie, who has been rather obviously angling to join the fête committee which will be meeting at Ambridge Hall shortly, by going on about his ideas for the fête and experience with organising things. Lynda is oblivious to his hinting and just wants him to show her how it works before he leaves. It turns out to have been more trouble than he expected, with the result that when it is turned on Lynda gets soaked.

Lee is planning to park in the cheaper of two places, but Helen insists on the more expensive one nearer to her solicitor's office. As he drives she instructs him (clearly not for the first time) on how he is to behave at the meeting. When he asks how she is feeling she says she is OK, and when he says she doesn't seem OK she utters his name in a warning voice, but he is not crushed, instead arguing that they might find out the cause of the seizure. She doesn't seem particularly interested in whether that might have been from hitting His head. Lee asks whether he saw the solicitor's bill on the breakfast counter that morning, but she is evasive and refuses to reveal how much it was for. There are only so many things she can worry about: let's just get this meeting over with.

The committee is being settled in the conservatory, and Joy and Fallon are the only people there apart from Lynda herself. Lynda offers tea or elderflower cordial, and Fallon opts for the latter; as they settle down to discussion, Eddie intrudes to say the water feature is ready and to point out that they need a few more members. Lynda tells him they are busy, and even his mentioning that they must have recruitment on their agenda falls on deaf ears, so he goes away again. Joy mentions that he is right, and they should talk about recruitment; Lynda agrees but wants to deal with things in the order she has preordained. Fallon is to be in charge of overseeing refreshments – and at this point Eddie can be heard, off, castigating the 'blasted thing' that is still spurting water everywhere, which makes Joy exclaim that she feels like they're in a car-wash and Fallon giggle. Fallon puts in a request for the tea-room to have its own tent rather than mucking in with the WI, but this is put off for later discussion as Lynda puts Joy in charge of co-ordinating the Hollerton Silver Band. What they are lacking, continues Lynda portentously, are those headline-grabbing attractions that are going to pull people in. Stella doesn't want to be dunked again, Alan is equally evasive, and as for Adil's fortune-telling, she had hoped to buttonhole him at breakfast but he hasn't been around. Fallon suggests that he may have had a premonition, which doesn't amuse Lynda; however, at least Joy does appreciate the joke when she sees it some time later. Any thoughts on what they could do? At this critical juncture Eddie, having got the water feature to work at last, intervenes again, calling for approbation. He comes in and asks whether that is tea in the pot, how the meeting is going, and whether they need any bright ideas.

Helen is leaving the meeting in a hurry, pursued by Lee, who calls that they have not paid for the car-park. She tells him shortly to do it, then, which he can't do because she has the ticket. While she hunts for it he tells her that he honestly isn't blaming her, but he just wants to talk about what happened. He was there, she wails, she knows what happened: Rob's solicitor is claiming they're not fit to be parents and he is going to tell the court that Lee is some sort of violent thug. Lee suggests she should calm down. As for her, continues Helen dramatically, he's going to accuse her of witness intimidation: how is that even the law? [Good question: in what way would she have been able to intimidate him? Chris] She met Rob in public, in a café! Lee tries to calm her, and she continues regardless: his solicitor is doing what Rob always did, making out she's the crazy one, that she's dangerous. Lee suggests that they should go back and talk to Dominic, but she is clear that she can't; Lee reckons he was just startled, and doesn't blame him for that; Lee had assumed she'd told him about the meeting with Rob. They could at least see what he advises. Helen cut the meeting short anyway. What was she supposed to do, she asks angrily. Her voice rising, she proclaims that it's all very well for Dominic to say sit quiet and keep quiet, when you have to listen to all that rubbish – Lee out-shouts her to the effect that he knows, but she wants to know why she shouldn't say something. His son or not, someone had to tell Him that He's not coming within a hundred miles of Jack! Lee agrees, fine, but what about everything else? Helen has no idea what he means, so he mentions the community resolution, which they didn't get a chance to discuss, and they still don't know about His seizure. Helen clearly can't believe her ears: is that all he cares about? Whether or not He's going to let Lee off with an apology? Wasn't he listening? He's going to use everything: Helen going to see Him, Lee attacking Him ... Lee denies having done so, but Helen sweeps on. OK, they didn't find out about the seizure, but you can bet He'll make the most of it. That is what this meeting was about, letting her know that the gloves are off. And she walked straight into it, she adds disgustedly. All they can do now is make sure he does not get access to Jack. Of course, says Lee soothingly, that's the most important thing. No, snaps Helen, that's the only thing. 'Oh really?' asks Lee, finally losing patience. How about his job or his livelihood? It's not going to make their case any stronger if he is unemployed. Then Helen's phone rings: it's not Dominic, it's Miles.

Eddie manages to sell Joy at least on his ideas for ferret racing, and entirely against Lynda's wishes inveigles himself onto the fête committee.

Helen has had her private conversation with Miles, and now tells Lee what he had to say: Rob's not going ahead with the Community Resolution. Lee fears this is because He's going to press charges, and Lee is going to be done for assault, but Helen says no: He's dropping everything, doesn't want to pursue it at all! Lee flounders in disbelief: he doesn't understand. Helen says that apparently He wants to demonstrate that He's prepared to find an amicable solution. 'What's the catch?' asks Lee. Helen admits there is one condition: Rob doesn't want to go through the formality of a Community Resolution, but he does want to talk to Lee. Face to face.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 25th June, 2023

Helen is didactic and Eddie is nebulous about his plans.

Characters: Will, Eddie, Ed, Lee, Helen
Credited scriptwriter:
Caroline Harrington
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

To Eddie, in the Grange Farm kitchen, enter Will, who wants to know what he is doing. The answer is peeling potatoes: he is making the dinner for the whole family apart from George. He regrets George's absence: he was hoping to pick his brains about the fête, since he is a great one for thinking outside the box. Still, at least Mia has come: she is always good for original ideas. When Will asks suspiciously what he is up to, he reveals that he is now on the fête committee, but is spared explaining further by Ed arriving: apparently Emma and Keira were having a shouting match so he came over early for a bit of peace and quiet. What it was about he doesn't know: clothes, or make-up, or can Keira get her nose pierced or a tattoo... That's teenagers for you, says Will darkly, and when Ed protests that she is only twelve says that's near enough. Ed then asks in his turn what Eddie is doing, and is told by Will that Eddie is cooking dinner, which he greets with disbelief, and then assumes must be some kind of punishment; but no, Eddie volunteered because he needs Clarrie to keep knitting. She's making knitted ferrets, says Eddie with exaggerated patience: look on the dresser there. Ed thinks they are really cute, and Eddie explains that they sold well at his Ferrety Fun stall at Lower Loxley Late MayFest, so he wants some more for the fête. When Will reveals that Eddie is on the fête committee Ed is incredulous, and Eddie changes the subject to how things are at Home Farm. Ed says they are fine, then boasts about the new drill, due to arrive on Wednesday and with a man coming to show him and Stella how it works. Eddie is now confused because his instructions from Clarrie say he is to cut the potatoes up and cook them in salty water and he thought they were meant to be roast, but his sons long-sufferingly assure him that is how to get crispy roast potatoes.

At Beechwood Lee is rejoicing: he has had a phone call from Shona at the hospital reinstating him at work as from tomorrow morning, and it's such a relief. Helen agrees that it is such good news, and Lee repeats that it is such a relief. Lee apologises to Helen and says he doesn't know how she put up with him last week, he was in such a panic at the idea of losing his job; Helen is reassuring that it is not going to happen. He will be at the hospital in the morning and back at The Laurels in the afternoon; he fears that Sykesy will cross-examine him about why he was away. Helen is glad it is all sorted, and now has to go and ring the solicitors: she's got that bill to pay and it's justabout going to clean her out; Lee immediately offers to help with it, but she refuses to let him. [So why mention it? Chris.]

The meal at Grange Farm has been a great success, and Will and Ed are stopping Eddie from clearing up in the kitchen. Will asks whether Ed is ready to be Jazzer's best man next week; Ed thinks he might recite some old Dross lyrics about love. He says he has a problem with his speech because he comes after Jim, and doesn't want to say the same things. Eddie doesn't think it likely because Jim's speech will be full of long words and quotations in Latin, so all Ed has to do is keep it short with plenty of jokes and he'll be fine. Eddie then 'gets back to the subject' of the fête, causing Ed to groan: what's the point? Lynda is giving him all the rubbish jobs, like the portable toilets. Eddie tells him that unless Lynda can get more committee members the fête's not going to happen, and Ed gets the idea: if Eddie turns up tomorrow night 'with all of us lot in tow' ... She's got to be grateful, hasn't she, Eddie finishes for him triumphantly. She'll welcome them with open arms. All they have to do is show up at seven tomorrow at Lynda's house; Ed however spots the flaw in this master-plan. If they are on the committee they will have to do jobs, like Eddie and the portable toilets. That's his point, explains Eddie: they won't. If they all come, Ed and Will, Mia and Emma, Clarrie of course, then the committee will be majority Grundys and they can organise the fête the way they want it. Ed doubts that Lynda will let that happen, and Will wants to know what he is hoping to achieve anyway. Eddie just says they can make it work: trust him.

Lee now has grave doubts about going to see Rob: what's it for? Helen says impatiently that that's the deal: he meets with Him, he's free. Rob drops the charges, or rather the threat of this community resolution, which Lee knows but wonders if He expects him to say thank you, and if so, why can't he do it over the phone? But anyway, if that's the game He wants to play, Lee will do it: he has to. Helen says that will then be the end of it and they can put it behind them, and Lee says he will thank Him if he has to. Thinking about what could have happened if He hadn't backed down like that, Lee is grateful. He goes on at some length about how awful last week was and how it would have been even worse if the suspension had been longer, until Helen reiterates that it didn't happen, which calms him a bit. He'll be back in the saddle tomorrow; has he got his work bag packed? [She asks as if he were Henry's age and going back to school. Chris.] He hasn't, but he will do it this evening. He is still anxious about it all, but Helen tells him he ought not to dwell on it: he'd be better off spending his energy on planning how he's going to play it on Friday. The important thing to remember is that he's met Him once before, which gives him the advantage because he knows what He's like. Lee is unsure that he does, but Helen instructs him that he saw how Rob can change, be perfectly nice one moment and then just turns on a sixpence and becomes aggressive and controlling; whatever He does Lee has got to keep his cool and cannot get riled by him. ['Do as I say, don't do as I do.' Chris.] He is not going to get access to Jack, she vows; they won't let him win. Of course not, says Lee: he has taken His place in this family. To all intents and purposes he's Jack's dad now.

Eddie is still chuckling over his success; Mia wouldn't sign up to his plan unless they agreed to go to the EV charging station meeting, to which Eddie doesn't actually plan to go: he thinks she won't notice. Will feels this is dishonest and that Mia won't forgive him, and then asks again what his plan is about the fête committee: what's in it for Eddie? Eddie talks broadly about staging a takeover: lulling Lynda into a false sense of security and then they can make their move, bring the fête into the twenty-first century. Say goodbye to splat the rat and make it more like Grundy's World of Christmas; Will is completely unconvinced, but Eddie merely speaks of turning the fête into a Ferret Fiesta.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 26th June, 2023

Lee wobbles, and Mia does well.

Characters: Lee, Tom, Will, Eddie, Mia, Lynda, Helen
Credited scriptwriter:
Caroline Harrington
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Outside the shop again, Lee encounters Tom, to whom he wants to apologise. Tom is making a delivery to the shop but does have time to talk after that, so Lee goes to wait on a bench on the green.

As Eddie drives him to Ambridge Hall, Will continues to express his doubts about the Great Grundy Take Over The Fête Scam [and he is not alone in not being able to see the slightest point in it. Chris] but is talked over as usual by his ever-plausible father. Clarrie too has doubts, according to Will. When they get there they find Mia on the doorstep, furious with Eddie because she has discovered his not intending to be at the EV charging meeting; he talks her round as well, imploring her not to desert him as she is a vital piece of his plan, and flannels her into coming in too. Mia has an idea about a distraction for Lynda but has no time to tell them about it before Lynda opens the door. She is surprised to see 'more Grundys' and rather dubious about Eddie's entire family having volunteered for the committee, but rather grudgingly invites them in anyway.

Lee tells Tom about being back at work; Tom already knew from Helen that Rob had backed down over everything and was very relieved not to have to feel guilty any more. They have a competitive 'it was all my fault', 'no, it was all my fault' exchange, during which it comes out that Tom doesn't think Lee even shoved Rob, or use any force at all, and is sure Rob deliberately fell over. Lee clearly no longer cares: he has his job back, and will be celebrating tonight. Tom asks about Friday, Helen having mentioned that as well: he is very much against the idea of a one-to-one meeting with Rob, after last time. Lee says he doesn't really have a choice, although the idea fills him with horror and he hates it that That Man can say 'jump' and he has no choice but to obey. Tom is firmly convinced that he does have a choice, and thinks it might be a trap; when Lee asks what Rob might be hoping to achieve, Tom reminds him that he doesn't know how devious Rob is. He might try to provoke him into taking a swing at Him, which Lee is firm is not going to happen: he promised Helen that whatever He does he won't react. Tom is surprised Helen is in favour of the idea, but suggests having a talk about it with Harrison: he knows all about Titchener, and the police know a thing or two about handling difficult situations.

During the meeting, Eddie and Ed go out to unload some paving slabs for Lynda's garden, and Lynda offers tea (Mia asks for water) and then asks how Will feels about the White Elephant (Mia suggests it's an endangered species in need of conservation; Lynda is not particularly amused) and proceeds to coerce him into taking on the White Elephant stall. She suggests the bookstall to Mia, or a repair café to fit in with her ecological leanings; Mia says she will have a think, and luckily for her Fallon arrives at that moment, so Lynda tells them to discuss it among themselves and goes to let her in and fetch their drinks and some nibbles.

Lee is telling Helen about what a great day he has had, but can't help thinking... No, nothing. Helen mentions the solicitor's bill: has he paid it? He didn't, but worries in case she expected him to. It seems she rang the solicitors to pay and they said someone had already settled it; they wonder who it might have been, with Lee suggesting each of her parents in turn and Helen feeling sure they would have said something about it if they had. Lee thinks they should just be grateful: it was a massive bill. Helen agrees, and points out that's not the last of it: they still owe Dominic for the phone meeting last week,

After the committee meeting Eddie insists on giving Mia a lift home; William doesn't mind coming along and wants to hear Mia's idea for distracting Lynda so she doesn't notice what they are up to. It amounts to getting Lynda to research the history of the Ambridge Fête and produce a fancy programme book about it, with pictures: she got the idea from something they did at the Lower Loxley Late MayFest. Mia thinks there must be plenty of old pictures of past fêtes somewhere about, and funny stories about things that happened at it, and celebrity guests: it's been going on forever, right? Eddie says it started before his time. Will is much taken with the idea of getting Lynda interested in producing a history of the village fête, and Mia says she would have to do loads of research, going to the library and looking up old newspapers and stuff, and it would get her out (of) the way. Eddie reckons that could work; Mia is a genius.

Helen is full of indignation because when she came upstairs, Henry was still awake with his phone under the duvet: it's no wonder he can never get out of bed in the morning! Lee is still thinking about Friday, and tells her about Tom's suggestion and feeling that Lee ought not to go to the meeting on Friday. Helen is instantly up in arms: Tom should just mind his own business! They've been through all this, she insists over Lee's half-hearted attempts to argue: Lee just has to keep calm and not let Him provoke him, and that will be the end of it. Meet Him, and then let's just draw a line under the whole wretched business, she proclaims.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 27th June, 2023

Lee is in a quandary, and Stella is still whinging about Adam.

Characters: Fallon, Harrison, Lee, Ruth, Pip, Stella
Credited scriptwriter:
Caroline Harrington
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The cat is out of the bag: Emma has told Fallon that Eddie has some kind of plan up his sleeve and had talked all the Grundys into turning up for the fête committee; Harrison finds it all rather amusing. When Fallon turned up late and found the place full of Grundys her immediate thought was 'there is something afoot' and now she knows. Lynda seemed perfectly happy with it, though, and Fallon is glad if anyone volunteers for it and takes some of the pressure off her, so she said nothing. As she is recounting her feelings in the matter, the doorbell rings and Harrison informs her that Lee asked if he could drop round; they'll sit in the garden, Fallon needn't disturb herself. She offers tea, but Lee doesn't want it.

Once they are outside, Lee tells Harrison the whole story, ending with the condition for Rob dropping the case against him: that he must meet up with Rob face to face. Lee says he smells danger. Harrison's advice would be not even to consider going, but Lee has to: he and Helen have agreed it's the only option. [Or rather, Helen has told him that he has to. Chris.] But Lee has been thinking maybe he should take someone with him, to be a witness, and he wondered if Harrison might come with him. Harrison is clear that he can't get involved: it's not appropriate with his job. Lee understands: he is just anxious. They are to meet in Gloucester, half way between Ambridge and Rob's place [which Swindon was for Helen on 15th. Chris], in Hillfield Gardens by the lepers' chapel, at three o'clock. Harrison thinks that is good news: they will be in a public space and there will be other people around when the schools come out. Rob Titchener is not going to do anything that will draw attention to himself, but just to be on the safe side Lee should make sure they are sitting next to other people and in front of a CCTV if he can. If he should get aggressive or unpleasant, which Harrison very much doubts he will, Lee is to get up and walk away. What Harrison doesn't understand is what Rob's motive is for doing it; still, he is sure that Lee can handle it.

The cows are being bullied in for milking by Ruth, with help from Pip, when Stella and Weaver appear down the lane. The cows are immediately forgotten as she tells Ruth and Pip she plans to go swimming to cool off: not in the river, which is in a terrible state with algal bloom, but with the open-air swimming club who use a lido; Pip should come. Pip is too busy this evening, it seems, and Ruth changes the subject: has Stella made her peace with Adam? This question is a mistake, since it leads Stella to go on about Adam's failings shrilly and at some length. Apparently Brian hauled Kate over the coals about the fire-pit but hardly said a word to Adam; Ruth enquires whether he and Ian were not there only to do the cooking, and Pip adds that he doesn't work at Home Farm any more, but Stella is not to be distracted from her gripe, then apologises for going on and says she must take Weaver home for his dinner. Ruth invites her to come round later and decompress with friends and food. David will be out, and Jill won't mind sitting with Rosie. Stella accepts. After she has gone Pip says that was kind of Ruth; Ruth remarks that Stella really has it in for Adam, and Pip muses that rubbing her up the wrong way is not like Adam at all.

Lee apologises for mucking up Fallon's evening and takes his leave; Fallon asks what all that was about, then realises she should know better than to ask. Harrison wishes sometimes he could help people as Harrison, and leave his sergeant's stripes at the door. He then has a quick burst of enthusiasm about a thrush singing while they were out in the garden, which cheered him up instantly. This leads to him telling Fallon there is a job he might apply for as Wildlife Crime Officer, dealing with things like poaching, and killing birds of prey, and hare-coursing, and persecuting bats, which last makes Fallon laugh. It would also include sheep-worrying. The disadvantage is that he would be working fewer hours so there'd be a bit of a dent in his salary, and it might put the brakes on a promotion. Fallon thinks that him working fewer hours has to be a good thing, though things are still a bit precarious with the tea-room. Harrison reckons it would be a lot less stress, and he feels that after the past few years he might need to look after number one a bit more; Fallon says that it's decided, then, and if it is what he wants he should go for it: they'll manage.

The meal was a real treat for Stella, who offers to take Ruth and Pip out for a curry tomorrow as a thank you. Ruth dreads the day when Jill decides she is too old to bake and she has to worry about what they are to eat in the evenings. Stella apologises to Pip for having perhaps put her foot in it earlier about Adam, and Pip mentions that she has always had a lot of respect for him as a farmer, with reasons being given by both her and Ruth; he's a courageous farmer with bags of imagination, just look at his new edible forest garden scheme at Bridge Farm. He's a real pioneer. Stella back-pedals and claims she is not saying he isn't a good farmer, then launches again into his treachery in having essentially told her to go for it over the new drill, then denied all responsibility so she got the sack, and would have had to leave Ambridge with no reference to offer to a new employer. Ruth gently reminds her that it turned out all right in the end, which Stella asserts was no thanks to Adam. Ruth goes to see if Jill wants a drink, and Pip advises Stella to let it go: she doesn't have to deal with him any more, he's back at Bridge Farm. She whinges on, finally saying that she doesn't think that's the end of it. Pip tries to cheer her by talking about the new drill, but Stella is not to be comforted: there is so much riding on it! Pip is sure it will be fine; and if it isn't she can always come and cry on Pip's shoulder. Ruth comes back saying that's three coffees and a camomile tea for Jill, and Pip says that after that she really must get Rosie to bed. Stella tells her that next time she has an evening free or a spare weekend she must come swimming at the lido, and Ruth too, and thanks Pip for introducing her to outdoor swimming, then thanks them both for their support and friendship: she feels she can take on any challenge Home Farm throws at her, now.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 28th June, 2023

Stella is triumphant, and Fallon is alarmed.

Characters: Justin, Stella, Brian, Jim, Fallon, Pip
Credited scriptwriter:
Caroline Harrington
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

For some reason Justin has decided to come along for the arrival of the new drill at Home Farm. From an admitted position of complete ignorance he agrees with Stella's statement that it's an amazing piece of kit, though Brian points out that you need a three hundred horse-power tractor to pull the thing. Justin then asks what it actually does [having advocated its purchase without knowing this. Chris] and Brian tells him 'everything, everywhere, all at once' while Stella yet again talks it up, warbling about it being state-of-the-art. Brian, to Stella's alarm, can't wait to have a go on it; when she sets out to dissuade him from the idea they retreat into technical talk which baffles Justin.

Jim comes into the tea-room, where Fallon is alone because Emma is having a second go at making tablet, which she calls a Scottish version of fudge. For Jazzer's wedding they have undertaken to make authentic Scottish dishes, most of which seem to be essentially swedes; Jim agrees about this, and lists some. He recalls having been partial to cullen skink but, as Fallon says, possibly smoked haddock soup is not ideal for a summer wedding. She feels that the tea-room needs the advertising, and Jim asks sympathetically if business is not good, which gets the gripe about Open Farm Sunday again. She then mentions her hope that when Grey Gables reopens she can get a foothold there, before asking what she can get him; he had not come in as a customer, but since he is there he'll have a cup of coffee; what he really wanted was to make sure she had the 'hands off Ambridge' poster up for tomorrow's meeting about the proposed charging station A lot of their posters seem to have vanished in the night; Fallon thinks that was probably Mia and her band of activists. Pip comes in to buy a chocolate brownie for Rosie and incidentally one for herself, and Jim takes the opportunity to hope he can rely on her for support against the charging station and creeping urbanisation; she suggests that Fallon must be worried about it, and when Fallon doesn't understand mentions the café on the plans. Fallon is aghast: she had no idea!

After the expert drill-instructor has done his stuff Brian understandably hopes that Ed understood all that; Stella pointedly asks him about his having understood it all right, and he admits to having got a bit lost 'when he got to that seed-coulter business', which Stella is altogether happy to explain without really explaining [possibly the SW got a bit lost too. Chris] using the analogy of a lawn-mower, before suddenly waxing lyrical about opening the seeding-bar: like a butterfly opening its wings. By emphasising the fact that the computer doesn't do it all, and the operator has to work with the data, she manages to persuade Brian that he is too busy in the farm office to stay and have a go on the machine. He invites her to go for a celebratory drink with him and Justin tonight; she makes grateful noises but pleads her previous engagement.

Fallon is in shock; she hadn't seen the plans before, and she's been so ridiculously busy that she missed Jim's efforts to circulate them round the village. She had thought it would be the sort of shop you get at a petrol station, with a vending machine for coffee, but they've got a substantial building marked out for the café. [I mention again that the site is two acres in size, and will have thirty charging points on it. Chris] Jim imagines they are trying to seduce one of the major coffee brands to invest in the place; Fallon begs him not to say that: it would be a nail in the coffin of the tea-room. He tells her that coming to the meeting tomorrow night is her opportunity to register her objection. She doesn't think it will do any good, but he tells her there is still hope and it is too early to throw in the towel, and she agrees to be there.

After their curry supper, Stella has lingered at Rickyard rather than going home to bed as Ruth did, and accepts a glass of wine from Pip. She has to confess that they saved her from having to go to The Bull: there's only so much of Brian and Justin a woman can take. Pip is glad the afternoon went OK, and asks what they are drinking to: Stella's future at Home Farm? Stella isn't sure about that because she still needs to make changes which with throw the cat amongst the pigeons, though she retains enough sense not to tell Pip what they are. She suggests just celebrating the new disc drill, and after clinking glasses with Pip goes on to mock at Brian having fallen in love at first sight, positively drooling over it; Pip says her dad gets like that over anything shiny. Stella then says the problem was Brian wanting to have a go; Pip points out that like nearly every farmer he's had plenty of experience with large machines, but Stella laughs that he was totally out of his comfort zone with the computer. Him trying to navigate all the complicated data would have been painful; it's a pretty complicated piece of kit, it took her a while to get the hang of things with Mervin, the tutor from the manufacturer, and she could see Brian wasn't really following it, but praise the Lord he caved in and said he'd leave the driving to her and Ed. She then asks how Pip's day was, and Pip mentions putting her foot in it in the tea-room by telling Fallon about the plan for the café at the charging station.

Over a drink Justin continues to talk up the drill to Brian; Brian is glad about it so long as he doesn't think about what it is costing him, though Justin is sure it will pay for itself in the long run. [Average working life seven years; cost £150,000; this drill needs to bring in £21,429 more than the old one per year and never need expensive maintenance. Chris] He enquires whether Brian and Stella are bosom buddies again, and Brian says yes, though he is slightly nervous wondering what she's going to come up with next. Justin next asks whether she let Brian have a go, and Brian denies that she dictates what he can do but says it is extremely high tech: she and Ed spent a good hour with the instructor. [Good God, is that all? Chris] He seems pleased, even so, to be in the forefront of the field of regenerative farming. He then agrees to come along to tomorrow's meeting about the charging station; Justin is fairly sure it's in the bag, but it is important to get the local residents on side. The head of corporate affairs from Damara isn't coming now, so it will be just him and the cell-charge representative. Jim Lloyd's campaign has been pretty relentless, so they'll have to sweeten the pill if he's going to swallow it.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 29th June, 2023

It's a village hall meeting. What else needs to be said?

Characters: Fallon, Lynda, Justin, Lena, Jim, Mia
Credited scriptwriter:
Caroline Harrington
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Being preoccupied means that Fallon forgets Lynda's order for Earl Grey tea; she has had a text from Harrison, who has applied for the Wild Life Crime Officer job and got an interview. Lynda says 'splendid!' and immediately moves on to her own concerns: has Fallon had any more ideas about the fête? She has been busy doing things for Jazzer's wedding; she asks whether Lynda has spoken to Eddie, but the answer is no, not about the féte, only the work in her garden, because his suggestions so far have all been much of a muchness. The vast number of Grundys at the meeting were happy to guzzle the refreshments Lynda provided, but contributed no ideas. It's slightly pointless having all these volunteers if they're mute, complains Lynda. As she is getting into her stride about Grundy shortcomings Fallon provides her tea and changes the subject to the meeting later about the charging station: Lynda will be going but is still in two minds as to whether it's a good idea or not. Fallon voices her worries about the shop and the café that come with it.

The meeting is crowded, and Justin chats with the expert who is there to sell his project to the village, Lena Manzour. He's afraid they are not in for an easy ride, but she is used to that: she has to justify green energy all the time. As if she had to sell him on the idea of his pet project, she talks of the beauty of the countryside and improving air quality for generations to come; he just hopes that with the planning application well on its way, the meeting is no more than a formality. She points out that nothing in the world of planning is a certainty, and that her company takes public opinion very seriously. He says dismissively that it is mostly the old codgers, sorry, elderly adults [which is rich coming from him! Chris] who are up in arms about this, and right on cue Jim Lloyd comes in, and Justin introduces him to Lena, who unfortunately calls him 'Mr' instead of 'Professor' but immediately addresses herself to his being the leader of the opposition to her company's plans; he says he is one of a sizeable group, but he has prepared a small speech which he hopes he will be allowed to deliver. Justin tells him there will be plenty of time for questions from the audience after Miss Manzour has had a chance to have her say, but she is cleverer than Justin and offers Jim the chance to speak first, which he foolishly accepts. Justin, who has objected to the idea, sighs audibly.

Mia comes in and sits next to Fallon, bemoaning the fact that none of her mates from college has decided to come; it's probably a good thing, she adds as one reassuring herself that she doesn't care about being let down: they're really militant. Fallon is confused: she thought Mia was in favour of this thing? Of course, isn't Fallon? She's not opposed to the charging station, it's just everything that comes with it, shops and cafés and that... Before Mia can answer Lynda asks whether the seat next to her is taken and sits with them, remarking that there are a lot of people there. She's glad she has seen Mia: she wants to ask her about her family's plans for the fête, but Mia is once again prevented from answering, this time by Justin opening the meeting and introducing first Lena Manzour, the representative of CellCharge, the company undertaking the development, and then Jim, whom she has invited to bring her up to speed about the local objections.

Jim's speech starts with the fact that his objection is not to electric vehicles in principle; he realises that is where the future lies (Mia asks loudly how come he drives that gas-guzzling Riley, and is hushed by Lynda). He mentions the production of batteries and their materials and that he believes the future of transport lies in buses and trains and bicycles before Justin rudely interrupts to tell him to get the the point. His particular objection to the particular project is its proximity to the village and its distance from any major highway, and the diversion of traffic onto narrow country lanes to access it, with the increase of traffic in the village: the quiet pernicious danger of electric vehicles. Can the village cope with being a thoroughfare? He says no: Hands Off Ambridge. There is applause. Justin thanks him for a truly comprehensive argument against this development [while probably feeling very grateful that Jim provided precious little argument. Chris] and calls upon Lena.

After thanking Professor Lloyd for laying out his objections to the project Lena goes into her sales pitch, which involves plenty of flannel and very little fact, with whatiffery as a side-dish. Ambridge and the countryside are beautiful. If tractors and agricultural vehicles can use the roads why not larger numbers of cars? The proposed site is right on the edge of the village. Jim protests loudly that it is less than half a mile from the village green [It is in fact two hundred yards from the centre of the village green. Chris]. Users of the charging station wouldn't have to drive through Ambridge. They will hardly notice it's there. Wind turbines also used to be condemned as a blot on the landscape and now are generally regarded as a sympathetic part of the countryside while supplying green sustainable power. (Cheers from Mia.) The charging station will draw most of its power from renewable sources. [Like where? Chris.] [Tidal barrages on the Am. Gus] It has been designed to blend in. Their aim is for it to be as sustainable and environmentally friendly as possible. With the nation facing potential fuel poverty they will ensure that local people who wouldn't be able to charge their cars at home will have easy access to clean green energy that improves air quality for generations to come. It will be a credit not only to Ambridge but the countryside itself. There is applause and Justin thanks her before opening the floor to questions.

Fallon asks about the shops and café and is told local businesses could apply to run it, but Lena can't comment on what is meant by 'local'. Lynda asks about a preferential charging rate for residents, and when told yes whether her having a concession could be passed on to her B&B guests and is told that would be entirely at her discretion.

After the meeting Fallon admits to Lynda that she is not reassured: that woman said all the right things, but she was a bit, well, smarmy. Lynda wouldn't go as far as 'smarmy', but Fallon describes her as a typical PR person: lays it on with a trowel but you end up thinking 'can I really believe a word of this?' Lynda thinks most people seemed to be convinced, but Fallon isn't: she's worried. Lynda then asks how Jim is feeling, and he explains he can't deny he is disappointed, and it was a major error on his part to agree to speak first: it gave that woman time to get her counter-arguments lined up. Fallon comforts him with Susan having reiterated everything he had said, which leads him to praise her as having been remarkably eloquent. He concedes that the mood in the room was in Ms Manzour's favour, but he's not giving up entirely, even in the jaws of defeat. He will hold Damara and CellCharge to every word they uttered in that meeting. If they deviate one iota from what they've promised, from the number of trees they're going to plant to inadequate flood defences – 'and if they bring in a chain coffee-shop,' adds Fallon – Indeed, says Jim, Fallon is to have no fear: he will be onto them. [And they will pay no attention whatever, since there will be nothing he can do about it at that point. Chris.]

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 30th June, 2023

Tom has paid the price and is forgiven, Eddie scams with success, and Rob gets under Lee's skin.

Characters: Tom, Helen, Eddie, Lynda, Lee, Rob
Credited scriptwriter:
Caroline Harrington
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

There is a truce between Tom and Helen when they meet at Bridge Farm; she tells him both that she is trying simply to have a normal day and that Lee got off OK, though he is going to be ridiculously early and have to sit around in the park for a couple of hours. Tom claims to be sure Lee can handle this, but Helen says Lee doesn't think so and from what she gathers Tom doesn't think so either. Lee has hardy slept the last couple of nights: he's terrified. Anyhow, she's got to go; she'll speak to Tom later.

Eddie is pestering Lynda to check his every move so that he won't make any more mistakes about laying her garden path; she is quite exasperated by his constant interruptions.

At the park in Gloucester, Rob greets Lee and apologises for being late. Lee is on edge, and Rob exerts himself to be unthreatening and urbane. Lee asks if he is all right after his seizure, and he makes light of it as nothing to worry about. He's fine; more to the point, how is Lee? Lee is surprised but says he is OK, and Rob continues that he's really sorry about, well, everything. Really? asks Lee. For all the problems he must have created for Lee, elaborates Rob: it was an over-reaction on his part. Lee is then able to do what he came for: express his gratitude to Rob for dropping the charge, the community resolution thing. Rob is still apologetic: the fact of the matter is, he was completely thrown when Lee and Tom turned up like that out of the blue, and he knows he didn't handle it well. [True dat: he showed his hand. Chris] And then, he says with a nervous laugh, reporting Lee to the police, that was ... unforgivable. And he realised the only thing to do was to apologise in person.

The path is coming in for criticism, though Lynda says it is only a few little tweaks; but while she has Eddie's attention she wants to ask him something else, about the fête and his family all turning up like that. Eddie defensively insists he didn't have to twist their arms; she just wants to know what they were there for when they had nothing to say. Eddie assures her they are racking their brains to come up with ideas. Which reminds him: Mia came up with what he thought a rather brilliant idea. He explains that someone should produce a programme, or souvenir booklet, the History of the Ambridge Fête. There's bucketloads of history to go into it; Eddie's dad could remember it from when he was a lad, and Eddie wouldn't mind betting it goes back even further than that. Lynda is definitely interested. Eddie remembers Humphrey Lyttelton coming to open it in the fifties, and played his trumpet; there are loads of traditions, too. Mia thought, who better to look into it all than Lynda Snell? Lynda is flattered, but concerned it would require a lot of research, and she hasn't got the time; Eddie is sure she can find an hour or two here and there. After all, she's got the rest of the fête covered, hasn't she: his lot are seeing to that.

Back in Gloucester, Rob is charming Lee with reminiscence about being with Henry in Ambridge, and asking questions about whether he still plays football. Lee answers hesitantly at first, but when Rob speaks of the boys keeping him sane after the trauma he went through with Helen he feels emboldened to riposte that Helen had her fair share of trauma too; Rob immediately expresses a wish not to dig up ancient history: it's a long time ago now and they've all learnt their lesson. It's just his biggest regret in life that he hasn't been around to see his boys grow up. Lee repeats 'Your boys?' with a splutter, and Rob at once backs off and suggests that Lee thinks of them as his now; Lee, treading carefully, says that he tries to be a good father-figure for them, which gets a snort from Rob, who then says he really envies Lee. In a slight change of subject he asks whether Lee has children of his own, and Lee is happier to talk about his two girls, revealing that they are now in San Francisco with their mother; Rob sympathises that he must miss them dreadfully, and Lee admits it was a bit of a wrench and expatiates about them and his feelings now they are growing up and starting to be teenagers. Rob, with a catch in his voice, says that he feels for Lee, he really does: that's how he feels about the boys. He just doesn't know them any more; when Lee responds that he guesses not, Rob asks Lee to tell him about them, which Lee does, revealing his interest in karate, that Henry does gymnastics and where the gym is, and that Jack is keen to do the same, throwing himself around with abandon. And has the bruises to show for it, Rob would daresay and Lee ratifies. Lee then starts to feel uncomfortable and says he'll head off now, and Rob stops him for a moment and claims he is aware that Helen will never let him see Jack again, but not a day goes by that he doesn't think of him and imagine what he must be like.

Helen has come over to see Tom, having left the boys with Tony and his trains, and say the important thing she forgot to say this morning: the solicitor's bill. It was him who paid it, wasn't it. Tom prevaricates, saying it's not the entire bill, and Helen says there's more to come but the gesture is unbelievably generous. He explains that he and Natasha wanted to help, and they got that great chunk of money for the girls' final modelling job ('Oh,' says Helen) and they thought... That's Nova and Seren's money, exclaims Helen sharply, but Tom tells her to relax: they've borrowed it, it's just a loan. Helen doesn't like taking the girls' money, and obviously she'll pay the rest of the legal costs, but Tom just hugs her and tells her he's missed her; she says she shouldn't have been so mad at them and that it's all His fault, as ever. [So Rob made Tom and Natasha put the twins into modelling, did he? Chris.]

Eddie goes to tell Lynda he's off home, and she calls him in to see a picture of the fête in 1884. He's impressed, and also amused by the actual picture, and asks where she found it; she has been to the university library archives and is planning to go into Felpersham and do some proper research. Eddie asks whether she is going to do the History of the Ambridge Fête, then, and is told that she has already made a start.

When Lee gets back Helen greets him with relief and asks whether it was awful, but when Lee says it was just weird she is suddenly alert and wants to know in what way. He tries to explain: He was nice, and friendly, and apologetic. Helen assumes it was just to soften him up, and Lee agrees and gives an account of the meeting, about which Helen is completely cynical: He doesn't care about another living soul except Himself. He went on about how much He envied me seeing the boys grow up, Lee explains, then asked if Lee had kids of his own; Helen can see what He's trying to do there, slyly undermining Lee as the boys' dad, but Lee is now more interested in his girls than in Rob, and how much he misses them; it was all he could think of as he was driving home, and he knows they said he'd go to San Francisco at Christmas but he needs to change his flight, he announces tearfully, and see them soon. Helen coos at him, and he dissolves: he misses them so much! Of course he's got to go, Helen reassures him, whenever he likes. He asks what time it is, announces that it is five, which will be about nine o'clock there: he's going to call them right now.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 2nd July, 2023

A tale of two Sundays, each with a late start.

Characters: George, Neil, Brad, Tracy, Mia
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

When he finally gets up George walks into banter about his late start from Neil, and argues it is Sunday and he's allowed a lie-in. He had a tough day yesterday, and Neil praises him as a hard worker, which seems to surprise George after the two verbal warnings Neil has given him so far.

Sunday is clearly the day of rest for some in Ambridge: Brad, emerging from his room, wants to know where everyone is. Chelsea stayed at Keisha's place last night and Jazzer is round at Jim's; they are going to the cash and carry once they have made a shopping list, and Brad is supposed to be going with them. He moans about it being half ten, and a Sunday, but Tracy points out that Jazzer is in a bit of a state about the wedding preparations and has big plans about decorating The Bull, and Jim is an early bird, so Brad had better get some breakfast inside himself and get round there. He doesn't mind helping, does he? Only Jazzer is in a bit of a panic because he has only four days to get everything sorted out, and with his ankle busted he needs all the help he can get. Brad is agreeable, so long as Tracy is going to be happy with what they do. She doesn't care: she is just so happy to be getting married, and since Jazzer is so psyched about this Scottish thing that's fine by her. They're just buying the stuff today, and Ed is going with them too. Brad asks what is happening with Grandad next week and discovers that Tracy has already told him that Bert will be staying with Susan, and Chelsea will be at Keisha's, which surprises him; when asked if he has forgotten their whole conversation Brad replies, 'No. Yeah. I dunno. Maybe.' Tracy is happy not to worry about any of them while she's away for ten days on her honeymoon. Brad then tells her that there is something worrying him: he has spent the money from Den and is now not sure he got the right thing. After a lot of part-explanations he reveals that on Chelsea's advice he has bought a green velvet suit in a charity shop and thinks he is going to look a right wally. She asks if she can see it, and when he exclaims 'no!' asks how she is supposed to advise him then. She suggests that he should go and try it on, and when he doesn't want to, uses that unfair weapon, the word 'please'. Jim and Jazzer can wait five minutes, and she really wants to see it. He goes to put it on.

The bacon sandwich Neil has made for George is excellent, even perfect, according to George which pleases Neil. George asks if Neil really thinks he is doing all right at Berrow, because Hannah still isn't happy with him and doesn't say anything positive or nice no matter how hard he works; Neil really does, and offers to speak to Hannah about it, an offer George rejects absolutely. Then Neil breaks it to him that Susan did ask Neil to have a word with him, which George immediately assumes to mean trouble; Neil assures him that it's nothing bad, just that she's a bit concerned about him and Brad, and she wants it fixed before the wedding. George is firm that some things can't be fixed, and Neil urges him to be the bigger man: he's showing so much maturity lately, and it would mean so much to his Nana, and to Neil, if he and Brad could sort things out.

After hovering in the hall, Brad comes into the kitchen and Tracy thinks he looks amazing: every girl on the planet will fall in love with him in that suit. He reminds her of his total lack of success with girls so far, and suggests that he feels that he's never going to meet someone he genuinely likes and who likes him back: some people don't, some people spend their whole lives alone and that's just how it is for them, and he's starting to think that he's one of those people. He knows it sounds tragic and he's embarrassed saying it; he begs her never, ever to repeat this to anyone else; she assures him she wouldn't. Maybe it's OK if he never has a proper love of his life, he continues; Tracy is clearly a bit upset, and reminds him that he is seventeen years old and has all the time in the world to meet somebody. Look at her, getting married at forty seven, nearly forty-eight, and had no reason to think she'd ever meet someone again, but she has even if nobody expected it including her. Brad actually can't imagine her and Jazzer not together, now. Tracy instructs him to have a bit more faith in people, and a bit more faith in himself; he's such a catch. She knows he hates her saying that, but it's true: he's got soul, and he's kind, and he's a brilliant human being. She's so proud of him. He will meet someone, but he has to leave the house: the love of his life is not going to ring on the doorbell, is she. Right on cue, the doorbell rings and they both laugh; Brad is shy of answering it dressed as he is, so Tracy goes to do it.

It's Mia at the door: Ed sent her to go shopping instead of him because Stella asked him to work today. He told her Jim and Jazzer and Brad needed help decorating. Jazzer is at Jim's right now and Brad was walking there in a minute, if Mia wants to come in and wait. Brad utters a couple of strangled sentences when she greets him, and flees to get changed.

At Ambridge View Neil is preparing to leave in order to talk with Lynda about Ambridge fêtes he has known: she is preparing a brochure or something about the history of village fêtes in Ambridge, which George dismissively says sounds fascinating, and Neil quite sincerely thinks may be so. Before he goes Neil has a last thing to say about Brad: George does know he's coming to stay with Neil and Susan next week? George didn't, and is horrified. Neil suggests that maybe this is his chance: will he just try? For Neil? For Neil and his Nana? George agrees to talk to Brad, but not today: today is his day off.

Tracy, making small talk, says Mia must be pleased about the charging station, to which Mia agrees whole-heartedly, and Tracy says she's even won Jim round; Mia says most people at the meeting were really keen by the end. Except Susan. Brad then comes back down and thinks it's time for them to get going, and Tracy asks Mia to tell them one thing: does she think Brad should wear the suit, or should he wear jeans and a hoodie? Mia reckons it depends on the hoodie: not the one with the stencil that's half peeled off, nor the one he had a nosebleed over on the bus. When pressed further as to whether he should wear the suit, with Brad imploring her to say if she thinks it's really awful, she says she thinks it's really great, and he should definitely wear it.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 3rd July, 2023

Henry stands up for himself, and Mia makes up to Brad.

Characters: Helen, Kirsty, Jim, Jazzer, Mia, Brad, Lee, Henry
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Helen and Kirsty are having a picnic, with Helen feeling slightly guilty about taking the time off work; when Kirsty says you've got to eat Helen speaks of a sandwich at her desk. Kirsty has been away for a weekend with Erik, in Chichester, where Erik was staying at a really lovely hotel for work. He invited her along, it was wonderful, and now he has asked her to go to Prague with him not because he's working but simply because he has never been there. She can't decide whether to go because it was meant to be a no-strings fling and going to Prague together makes it seem more serious, but Helen encourages her to do it. Kirsty is still not sure, though she admits that Erik is really good company and makes her laugh, and he's a really good kisser. Helen makes the same claim for Lee's osculatory technique. They are interrupted by Helen's phone: Fallon really wants a chat about the tea-room and has already left several messages.

The amount of decorations Jim and Jazzer have with them is worrying Jolene, according to Jim: she doesn't want anything done to the room upstairs that can't easily be undone. She doesn't want them knocking holes in the walls, which will make hanging up the portraits of Scottish heroes a problem. Jazzer reckons they should just go for it, not tell her and sort it out afterwards: if they wait until the pub is busy she won't hear them banging. Jim points out the flaw in this: he doesn't think it will get that busy on a Monday lunchtime; Jazzer then proposes to do it later if Jolene goes out. Jim feels that given the big favour Jolene and Kenton are doing them, they ought not to offend them but Jazzer is determined that they just must mount the stag's head, for which he paid a lot of money. In the meantime, Kenton is bringing them a step-ladder from the cellar. Jim is firm that Jazzer is not to use it, with his leg in plaster, and thinks they could do with a bit more help; Jazzer tells him Mia and Brad are coming in a bit. According to Jim they need to take first things first: they have to get Jazzer up the stairs, which Jazzer reckons ought to be easy enough, shuffling up on his backside.

Some talk between Kirsty and Helen about how 'things' are, with no more scary solicitors' letters and Lee back at work, ends with Helen saying it's hard to believe it's all over and He will just skulk off. Maybe this is a reprieve rather than total surrender. [I do not think 'reprieve' means what you think it means. Chris.] Rob did actually apologise to Lee, which Kirsty thinks is really amazing but Helen feels may be just really manipulative. But let's not talk about Him: they should just enjoy their afternoon, and Kirsty should text Erik and say she'll go with him to Prague; Kirsty agrees to do it just as Helen's phone rings. It's the school, about Henry. She can be with them in about twenty minutes.

Back at The Bull, the cavalry has arrived in the persons of Brad and Mia; Jim has been doing all the stepladder work [in his eighties. Chris], which Jazzer is not really helping with his constant critiques [sic. Chris]. Jim has asked him to go and talk to Jolene about the bar arrangements for Thursday, and has made a lot more progress since. Mia asks what he wants them to do to help; Jim asks them to hang the tartan streamers criss-crossing across the ceiling; Mia says they can try. Then Jim has to work out how to hang framed pictures Kenny Dalglish, Robert Burns and Sharleen Spiteri when they can't hammer nails in the walls: Brad suggests taking the pictures out of the frames and taping them up, which Jim hails as a good idea which will work for the pictures but won't be strong enough for Jazzer's stag's head. Mia's instant hackles about that are smoothed by Jim saying it's not a real stag's head, and, reassured on that point, she suggests simply propping it up on a convenient shelf. Fulsomely, Jim says he is so glad Mia and Brad are there.

The post-mortem requires Henry to tell Helen what has happened , with Lee saying that they know what the school said but she wants to hear it from him. His account is that they (a bunch of year sevens) were playing football in the lunch-break, and a massive year ten kid came and took the ball, and when Frank went to get it back started shoving him and pushed him right over. Helen asks what he did, to be told that's when Henry hit him. 'The massive Year Ten kid?' asks Lee, stifling a snigger; Helen ignores this and tells Henry that he didn't just hit him, he punched him, to which Henry reasonably responds that nothing else was going to have an effect, was it. She tells him he can't just go round punching people, and he explains that he doesn't, usually. Lee intervenes to say he's right, and in the face of Helen's incredulity at his daring to take Henry's side adds that he's never done anything like this before. She feels that's really not the point right now, and decides to take Henry's phone. He's surprised and indignant, and asks how long for, to be told 'a week'. No console, no TV, no screens whatsoever, she adds. He reckons for a week is way too harsh and appeals to Lee, who is with Helen in this one. Helen thinks it might not be harsh enough: 'You can not hit people! Ever!' she exclaims righteously. [Stabbing them is QUITE different... Chris] and when Henry points out that he deserved it, he's such a bully, says that it doesn't matter. Henry still thinks he did the right thing, and when Lee starts to reply to him Helen talks over him: 'Let me be clear: that kind of violence is never, ever the right thing', and when he objects to her keeping his phone for a whole week as a punishment for defending his friend, sends him to his room and says they'll talk about it later. Henry's reply is no, and when she incredulously repeats it reminds her he is not a two-year-old having a melt-down; she says he needs to calm down and he says he is calm, and then that he was just standing up to that Year Ten the way she's standing up to Rob. This horrifies her, and to make matters worse he tells her that he knows what's going on. She denies that anything is going on, and he makes a rapid departure, shouting back that she is not to lie: Rob is back and she's totally freaked out. She calls after him in vain, with Lee advising her to leave him for a minute; she starts breathing fast and asking Lee how Henry knows, who has told him, has Lee told him anything? Lee soothes her as well as he can, saying that she's been stressed and kids pick up on stuff, which leads to her hysterically claiming that they've been so careful. When Lee remarks that maybe it was impossible to hide, she decides she should just have talked to Henry when That Man first came back to the UK. Lee thinks they didn't know what was going to happen, and Helen reminds him they still don't; he opines that things have calmed down, but she isn't having that: she certainly feels terrified.

Brad and Mia are congratulating each other as Jim comes back upstairs with promises of cool drinks shortly; Mia admires Brad's T-shirt 'from the Talking Heads song' and tells him that of course she likes Talking Heads; he doesn't know anyone else their age who does. She hasn't seen the film Stop Making Sense though she would like to, and he reckons he'd like to see it again. Jim comes in and admires the streamers; Mia asks Brad whether it is on a streaming platform, which mightily confuses Jim, who is now getting back to hanging the pictures: it seems that Jazzer says Keir Hardie, Rod Stewart and Robert Burns are all going steadily downhill. Brad says he'll find out how they can watch the Talking Heads film, and get back to Mia about it. She could come to theirs; he'll have the TV all to himself next week when Mum and Jazzer are on their honeymoon, Chelsea staying with a mate and Bert's going to Susan's. He's so looking forward to the peace, he can't tell her.

When Helen goes up to talk to Henry, he understandably asks her what she wants in a grumpy way but agrees she need to talk to him. She apologises for yelling at him and tells him he is right, of course: He is back, Rob is back in the country. She's sorry she didn't tell Henry before, she was hoping it would turn out to be nothing. He wants to know what it turned out to be, and she tells him that Rob's solicitor got in touch saying Rob wanted access to Jack, but He's given up on that now and even if He hadn't the courts would never have given Him access. He's not allowed to see them: not Henry, not Jack, not her, OK? OK, responds Henry. She asks whether he has any other questions, and he says 'Yeah. Is there anything I can do to get my phone back?' She heave a long suffering sigh and tells him this is important, to which he comes back that his phone is too. But he does know, only there's nothing he can do, is there? She assures him he doesn't need to do anything, because it's all over: He can't hurt them, He really can't, she promises.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 4th July, 2023

Helen seeks reassurance, and Jazzer's self-image is shattered.

Characters: Susan, Tracy, Jim, Jazzer, Helen
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The fact that Tracy tells her she need no help with the wedding preparations has clearly ruffled Susan, who sounds thoroughly disgruntled about it.

Other arrangements are indeed going well, with Jazzer unable to fathom why Jim thinks they need to make a list of any last-minute preparations. He asks how Jim's speech is coming along, and absolutely insists on being told about some rather startling information Jim has discovered about him. After his saying that he doesn't like surprises and that he really does want to know, Jim reveals that Jazzer is not a Scot. He's English.

Susan tells Helen that Tracy has got it all sorted and nothing needs doing, and Helen does know how Susan does like to get involved, but there's nothing to get involved in. Helen suggests she can just relax and enjoy the day, and changes the subject to approval of the new packaging. Susan then reveals she is worried about George and Brad, who are still not speaking; she has literally begged George to go and talk to Brad because Brad is coming to stay with them when Jazzer and Tracy go on honeymoon, and then last night Neil went and started decorating one of the bedrooms so Brad and George are going to have to share a room. After making all the right horrified comments about the possibility of them coming to blows, Helen suggests that if they could finish the Borsetshire Blue she'd love to get the Sterling Gold next, then tells Susan that Henry got into a fight at school, and he claims he was defending his friend. Sometimes she feels quite terrified of that responsibility of raising boys: she imagines that girls are more likely to tell you how they're feeling and what's going on, which makes Susan laugh and say 'not necessarily'. In a bid for sympathy Helen says that Henry has been through such a lot: what if all of it has had a much bigger impact that she realised, what if this is just the beginning of a really troubled life? Susan reassuringly says she's sure it's not, but Helen is so afraid she hasn't looked after him well enough... Susan thinks they should take a break, make a cup of tea and sit in the sunshine for five minutes.

Jazzer doesn't understand how he didn't know this already, and Jim explains that his mother and father were in England on their way back to Scotland, and Jazzer ended up being born in a bed and breakfast in Northumberland. Jazzer protests that his birth certificate says 'The Cottage Hospital, Kelso'. Jim agrees that is right, but he wasn't actually born in the hospital. When Jazzer asks how he knows all this Jim explains simply that he rang Jazzer's mother, who was very helpful. That's not like her, grumbles Jazzer. Jim, slightly hurt, says he thought it would amuse Jazzer, which mystifies Jazzer; when challenged, and faced with Jazzer's unbelieving horror, Jim is no longer sure why he did think that. Jazzer complains that the entire foundations of his existence have been pulled from under him, and the whole Scottish thing feels like a sham now. [The excessive Scottishness always has been: he has lived in the Midlands for most of his life, and going to the Edinburgh Festival is the most Scotland he's seen in his living memory. Chris] As Jim protests, Jazzer says they will have to go back to The Bull and start again; Jim really thinks he is over-reacting. Of course he is Scottish really. It was a joke; something funny for the best man's speech. Jazzer is not listening; he wonders whether they could ask Fallon to change the menu. Jim is becoming increasingly put out.

The idea of a break and a cuppa was a good one, and Helen has relaxed enough to get round to asking Susan whether she ever finds herself thinking about her time in prison, which takes Susan very much aback. She rallies quickly and supposes that she does, now and again, and Helen says they've never really talked about it, have they. Does Susan mind them taking about it now? Susan doesn't, so Helen tells her she dreamed last night she was back there, and Susan agrees she has had that dream a few times; it's a relief to wake up. For Susan the worst thing about being in prison was the anxiety about the people she'd left outside: she worried all the time that something terrible might have happened to them, like finding out they had cancer, and they were not telling her so as not to upset her. When she rang them, she was almost convinced they were all pretending everything was OK when it wasn't. Helen knows exactly what she means; she thinks it was because of the isolation, being so cut off that you start imagining the worst. She worries about the impact of that whole time on Henry, and Susan sympathises: she worried about her kids too. Helen remembers Emma talking to her once about what it was like for her, which surprises Susan, who says Emma was not much older than Henry would have been [Emma was born on 7th August 1984 and Susan went to prison just before Christmas in 1993. Chris] and asks what she said. According to Helen she was reassuring, really: it was upsetting and confusing but Neil was there and was great, and she knew Susan loved her to bits, and it didn't affect their relationship: they're really close. Susan finds that nice to hear, because you never really know what your kids think of you. No, you don't, muses Helen: that's the thing, she's got no idea what Henry thinks of her. And she's afraid to find out.

A door opens abruptly and Tracy rushes in wanting to know where 'he' is. Jim is relieved to see her and tells her Jazzer is in the living-room; he will stay in the kitchen to give them some space. Tracy announces she's going to kill 'him', and goes furiously through to confront him. She thinks Jazzer wants to call the wedding off. When he swears on his stupid English life that it is not so, and that it is not a wind-up and he is not lying, and he wants to marry her because she is the best thing that ever happened to him, she is puzzled, and wants to know why Jim messaged her to say Jazzer was having a crisis. She calls for Jim to come in a second. It turns out that the hilarious misunderstanding was caused by Jim missing out the word 'Scottish' in a text which was supposed to read 'Jazzer is having a crisis and wants to cancel the whole Scottish business.' This horrifies Jim and exasperates Jazzer. Tracy asks if she can stop having a heart attack now, Jazzer calls her 'darling' instead of 'hen', and Jim apologises profusely. She accepts his apology, and he says Jazzer should never have made him best man. Tracy then wants to know what the crisis is actually about, and is told the Jazzer is not in fact a Scotsman, but, to his absolute devastation, an Englishman. He feels that he's been stripped of his identity: he feels like a fraud, a sham. Tracy says he's more Scottish than blimmin' bagpipes, but Jazzer is convinced the whole Scottish theme is ruined and they're going to have to fix it a s a p. She tells him that they can't: he's stuck with it. Fallon's gone all out, the room upstairs at the Bull looks (according to Jim) like Brigadoon. He starts to soften, and Jim suggests they should have a drink: a small Scotch might be in order, and he'd like to propose a toast. 'To Jazzer McCreary, more Scottish than bagpipes.'

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 5th July, 2023

Henry and Jack are given part of the truth, and Susan tells Jazzer a secret.

Characters: Helen, Lee, Henry, Jim, Susan, Jazzer
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Waiting for Henry to come and get a lift to football practice, Helen decides she will have a talk with him in the car. She asks how Lee's day was and he tells her some people at work have been a bit funny about why he took time off, to which Helen briskly responds that it's none of their business. Lee shouts for Henry to hurry up, Henry emerges with excuses about a lost shin-pad, and Helen has a quick go at him about tidiness.

For some reason Jim decides to tell Susan, as he does some restocking in the shop, about not being sure his wedding present for Jazzer and Tracy, a set of shiny saucepans, will be right. Susan agrees that is boring, and suggests he should take them back and change them for something more interesting. She is being very off with him, and it comes out that she is resentful because he is no longer fighting against the charging station: she feels he has jumped ship. He points out that the majority of the village is now in favour, and he can't stand in the way of democracy: he can't do it. Even Susan must see that it has its advantages! She tells him to do the ketchup next, than asks how the wedding preparations are coming along, so he tells her they could have done with her help decorating at The Bull, in spite of Jazzer telling her it was all under control; there was only him for half the afternoon, until Brad and Mia turned up. And then the very next day Jazzer wanted the decorations all taken down again, and they had to persuade him that wasn't necessary. Susan understandably wants to know why he wanted that, and Jim shamefacedly admits it was his fault....

It's clear Henry is not all that keen for a chat with his mother; he assumes that when she asks how school was she wants to know whether he got into a fight, which she denies was what she meant. He wants to listen to some music; she puts that off, and asks if he is OK. When he says he's fine, she tells him she's just a bit worried about him, so he tells her not to be, but then when she tells him to put some music on if he wants, Henry abruptly asks why He changed his mind about wanting to see Jack. Helen stammers and can't easily reply, saying that she doesn't know, He just did. Maybe His solicitor made Him see it was impossible. Henry asks what if He changes His mind back again, and Helen assures him the court won't allow it; Henry asks what if He just tried to take Jack, like before? Helen points out that they're prepared now: everyone knows about Him now, not like before. Henry subsides. She asks whether he and Jack have talked about it, and he asks which bits; he knows his dad is back in the country; Helen is taken aback and asks how he knows, to which Henry replies that they both heard her and Lee a couple of weeks ago. She wants to know what they heard, and Henry reassures her that it wasn't loads, nothing really bad, just that He was back and that there was a letter, and then Henry took Jack outside to play football because he knew she wouldn't want Jack to hear what they were talking about. He didn't tell her about it because he felt she was already stressed out enough, but he told Jack it would be all right and they would protect him. As they arrive at the football ground Helen starts to weep and tells him she's so sorry; he thinks, and says, that it's not her fault, it's His. She promises to talk to Jack as soon as she gets home, and Henry says he needs to get going.

Susan is now being unpleasant to 'Mr McCreary' for no particular reason, given that it's clear he has not called off the wedding. When he protests she asks what all this about him having an identity crisis is, Jim having told her about it, and she tells him that she can't believe that he thought for one moment that he wasn't Scottish. He corrects her: Scots; Scottish is for things, not people. She doesn't care: he'd just better not be having second thoughts about this wedding! He tells her repeatedly that he isn't, and she eventually tries to excuse her nastiness by saying she is very protective of 'our Tracy', which Jazzer already knew, and that she didn't like what Jim was saying because it sounded like an excuse for Jazzer's wavering feelings. He starts to get angry, and loudly tells her he doesn't have any wavering feelings, to which she offers a grudging 'well, OK.' He crossly tells her he'll see her at the wedding, and she stops him from leaving to tell him that she does actually think he's the right man; he says she has a funny way of showing it sometimes, and she tells him that it's a big sister thing, and recounts the touching story of having to sing Tracy to sleep every night when Tracy was little, every night the same song, 'Scarborough Fair'. Jazzer tells her he loves that one, which surprises her, and when she says that Tracy said it made her feel safe he assures her that she will be safe with him. Susan knows that really, she just gets jumpy sometimes, and asks him to forgive her, which he does.

Helen reckons it was a good conversation with Henry, though she wishes she'd had it earlier; Lee consoles her by saying it's hard to know when is the right time and there is no handbook for this. He asks about Jack, and she thinks it went OK with Jack, though obviously she explained things as simply as she could and didn't get into too much detail not really talking about the past, just what's happening right now. Apparently Jack listened, and then asked if he could have some time on the console even though it's midweek, which makes Lee laugh and call him 'Canny'. Lee says 'well done' and Helen thanks him for being great.

Tracy can't sleep, and neither can Jazzer. She wonders if they ought to have slept apart the night before the wedding, to avoid luck, which he thinks is daft. They are going to have a brilliant day tomorrow with all their friends, and need to get some sleep so they don't look completely knackered. She agrees, then thinks of one thing she wants: things are great right now but it's really hard work being married, not that she and Den were married but anyway, even in a good, a brilliant relationship being nice to each other all the time is basically impossible; he grunts agreement. She just wants them to promise each they won't give up on each other if things get tough; life is hard and things happen, and she wants them to promise each other they'll really fight for this to work out. Jazzer reckons that's what tomorrow is all about, one big promise, but she feels that's for everyone, and she wants them to say it for it for each other, right here; they do, and then Jazzer sings 'Scarborough Fair' to her to send her to sleep.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 6th July, 2023

Everything goes without a hitch. Without anyone even getting hitched, in fact.

Characters: Tracy, Jazzer, Jim, Brad, Susan, Mia, George, Jolene
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

At No 6, The Green and in search of her earrings, Tracy interrupts Jazzer's teeth-brushing although she hadn't wanted him to see her until she was fully ready. He tells her she looks gorgeous. She teases him about sounding surprised; he says he is amazed, amazed at his own unbelievable luck in getting to marry her, then asks for a kiss. They kiss. He purrs. She squeaks.

Downstairs, Jim is complimenting Brad on his green velvet suit. Susan asks whether Jim found an alternative wedding present and when he says he didn't have time, says that in her opinion the existing pans all need chucking out… Jim is more concerned about the time, but Susan tells him that since Tracy and Jazzer would both be late for their own funerals it isn't out of character for them to be late for their wedding as well. Jim tries to send Brad in search, and he says that last time he checked Chelsea was still doing her mum's hair and Jazzer was havering between suit and kilt. This prompts Jim to say how much he regrets precipitating Jazzer's 'identity crisis' but Brad assures him the groom is absolutely fine. Jim says he will be glad when the day's over – he just wants it all to go without a hitch. Acidly, Susan says it's not going to go at all at this rate.

Back in the bathroom, Tracy says 'it' wasn't what they were planning, but both seem well pleased until Tracy notices the state of her hair and fears Chelsea's impending displeasure: that girl's bound to notice, having eagle eyes. Jazzer tells her the door is locked, to which Tracy retorts she knows, having locked it herself. Now it's jammed or something, Jazzer says, and invites a sceptical Tracy to try for herself. She rattles the door in vain, and starts to panic. No, no, no!

Mia and George are on their way to the reception and she is castigating him for his selfishness this this morning in eating all the croissants. He tells her he will be back at his nana and grandad's this evening being spoiled rotten, except for having to room with Brad for the next ten days. Mia tells him he's wrong [Gosh. Does she? Gus] as Brad will be staying at Tracy's, but George maintains that's not the case and that he will be doing Brad a favour by sharing with him, not that he deserves it. Mia asks what exactly Brad did to wrong George. He takes issue with her somewhat archaic turn of phrase. Undeflected, Mia points out that in reality George told Brad to lie to the police and then dropped him in it. George seizes this opportunity with both hands: so it's like that is it? She still fancies Brad? Heated denial from Mia cuts no ice, nor do her protestations that men and women [snortle. Gus] can be friends.

Jim is shouting to bride and groom through the bathroom door: apparently the bottom hinge isn't coming off as easily [I'm surprised either hinge is coming off at all, what with the door being closed and everything. Must be very strangely hung. Shuttup at the back. Gus] and Brad has been dispatched to get a different screwdriver. Jazzer assures Tracy everything will be all right but she is certain it won't; he reckons the registrar will be sympathetic if they explain… As Tracy is disagreeing, Brad calls to ask if they are standing well back. Doors are expensive, his mother protests, but Brad reasonably asks whether they want to get out of there or not, before breaking the door in.

At The Bull, Jolene is organising the distribution of Prosecco to the thirsty and tells Mia Fallon will be bringing some snacks to keep people going: it must be chaotic down at that register office. Just then her phone beeps. It's Susan, saying all was done about twenty minutes ago. That means they'll be here any minute, says Mia, just as the couple arrive.

Jim is in full flow as Best Man and thanks his opposite number Ed for his role in the 'wonderful day' which the happy couple insist is not over yet, not by a long way, as Jim announces his plans to collapse in a heap with a glass of white wine. It has been one of the most extraordinary weddings Jim has attended, because Jazzer and Tracy are two of the most extraordinary people he has ever met - irrepressible, charming, unpredictable, wild, loyal and lionhearted humans who suit each other down to the ground. Jim loves them both dearly, as he is sure everyone does [Got some bad news for you about that, Prof… Gus], and he wishes them all the happiness in the world. Toasts are drunk. The couple have evidently appreciated the speech, and Tracy asks Jazzer if her mascara has run. Jolene congratulates them before snarking that is is a pity the register office was running so late: they should put in a complaint. Jazzer says he doesn't think they'll bother and Tracy, rather hesitantly, tells Jolene that it all went well and it was just how she'd always imagined. The scent of rat is by now palpable. Tracy thanks Jolene again for the dress and is told she looks absolutely beautiful, Jazzer's mother was waxing lyrical about it and that Susan did a lovely job on the alterations. Where is Susan, Jolene wonders. Tracy is sure she's here somewhere… ah, over there, with George.

Susan is nagging George to go and have a word with Brad before he comes to stay tomorrow. George reports that according to Mia, Brad expects to be staying at home, alone. That can't be right, Susan tells him.

Outside, Brad and Mia agree that the room is far too hot, although it looks good. Was it a nice wedding, Mia asks and is told 'oh, yes, yeah, yes, yes, it was - it was really nice, actually'. Understandably, Mia asks why he is being weird and Brad spills the beans: the wedding didn't happen – Jazzer and Tracy missed their slot! As Mia giggles, he explains about the bathroom door and how upset Tracy was at the prospect of all the guests waiting until Susan came up with the plan to pretend that things had gone ahead as planned. They'll just have to sneak off and get married later, Brad says, then asks Mia if she wants to go back in to the party. She doesn't especially, and it turns out neither does Brad. Mia blurts that Brad looks amazing in his suit, which pleases him although he confesses that perhaps he didn't think the 'velvet in July' thing through properly as it is very warm. Mia looks really lovely too, he tells her. Brad, who says he has got this sort of thing wrong before, is trying to ask Mia if there is some sort of vibe between them when George approaches, saying he thinks he and Brad need to talk. Brad disagrees: they are better not talking, and keeping away from one another. George gloats that that won't be easy, not if they're sharing a bedroom. Brad is uncomprehending, then horrified as George explains what Tracy and Susan have cooked up and the added complication of Neil beginning to decorate the spare room. Is this a joke? Brad asks him and George assures him it isn't – although it is funny. Brad wonders why Tracy didn't tell him and Mia suggests that perhaps she did but Brad wasn't listening. He concedes that's possible. Smugly, George urges Brad to look on the bright side. There is no bright side, Brad retorts: he wouldn't want to share a room with George for five minutes, let alone ten days! He despises George, who is a useless friend and not a nice person.

Inside at the reception, the 'bride' and 'groom' are having a quiet chat. Tracy is glad Jazzer wore his kilt and Jazzer explains the decision was made for him as his suit trousers wouldn't go over the cast. But at least that's coming off tomorrow! [Yeah, about that cast and the bathroom quickie… HOW? No, I don't want you to draw me a picture, thank you. Gus] Tracy thinks Jim's speech was lovely, and Jazzer agrees with her. There was no mention of 'Scotsgate' and Jim has been great all round. So have Chelsea and Brad, and Mia. Tracy concurs, before hopefully pairing Mia with Brad. Jazzer says they should dance: broken ankle or no, it's their wedding day. Technically it's not, Tracy corrects him. But her worries about not spending the night before the wedding apart and the bad luck – well, they're free of that now, aren't they? So when they get married on the sly perhaps they should stay apart the night before, just to be on the safe side. Whatever makes you happy, Jazzer tells her fondly, which prompts Tracy to tell him that she loves him. Jazzer loves her too, he responds. And he's really looking forward to getting married!

Summarised by Gus

Friday 7th July, 2023

The car won't start, and Brad needs a bit of prompting too. Tonstant Listener fwowed up.

Characters: Jim, Jazzer, Tracy, Brad, Mia
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Jim is delivering his wedding present to No 6, The Green, having overlooked it in all the kerfuffle yesterday. Jazzer invites him in but Jim declines and asks whether the couple shouldn't have left for Scotland already. Jazzer concedes they are a wee bit behind schedule; Jim chuckles that it is business as usual, then. Jim reassures Jazzer that he hasn't told anyone about the non-ceremony and Jazzer tells Jim he was a brilliant Best Man and absolutely smashed the speech, which pleases Jim.

Tracy is fussing over Brad, asking if he is okay and whether he has packed his things. Brad hasn't. Tracy encouragingly says that Susan will do tea for him if he gets round there by half-six or so. Does Brad mind very much? He says 'not at all', not at all convincingly, and Tracy says it will stop her from worrying about him all on his own. Hopefully he won't have to have too much to do with George, not if he doesn't want to. Brad tells her things with George will be fine, but fails to exude enthusiasm. Tracy thanks him and tells him he is such a good lad.

The un-newlyweds are at last getting ready for the off and Tracy stows Jazzer's crutches in the back of the car while calling to Brad to say they are off: 'Better late than never', a cliché which Tracy feels could go on her and Jazzer's gravestone. Brad says 'enough of the dying talk' before wishing them a safe journey and lovely holiday. Jazzer thanks him for everything and, when Brad protests that he hasn't done anything, contradicts Brad, saying he's let Jazzer in to the family. Tracy reminds her son to double-lock the door when he goes and to make sure lights and gas are off. Then she hugs him and asks him to keep in touch, and with Chelsea as well; she loves him. 'Love you too, mum!' Brad calls as Tracy gets into the car. At that moment Mia arrives and she and Brad greet one another against a background of the car failing to start. Mia's just on her way to the shop, but shouldn't Jazzer and Tracy have left ages ago? Jim approaches, asking 'Are they off?' Brad thinks not and reckons mum's flooded the engine. Mia's not sure they're going anywhere. 'Oh dear,' Jim intones with emphasis.

In the kitchen, Mia sympathises with Jazzer and Tracy's predicament to Brad; does he think Jazzer will be able to fix it. Brad isn't confident that he will, and that's the car with nine lives anyway, so... Mia knows nothing about cars, she says, and Brad admits that he doesn't either. Would she like a drink? There's not much, only tea or orange squash, and no biscuits, as the house is going to be unoccupied. Mia accepts squash. If Brad had known she was coming he would have got something in, sorry. She tells him to stop apologising, he says sorry but he's nervous, and she asks what about. Nothing, he says; he's just being stupid. Mia wants to know if he is going to Susan's and whether he tried to convince Tracy to let him stay at home. Brad says Tracy would only worry. Maybe his mother did warn him but he wasn't listening. Mia says she can visit him or Brad can go to Grange Farm if he wants to get away from George; that sounds good to Brad. They could watch that Talking Heads film, Mia suggests; in fact, there are a few things she wants to watch that no one else in their house wants to see, European stuff, like Kurosawa. Reasonably enough, Brad points out that Kurosawa isn't really European. He knows what she means, giggles Mia. And Tarkovsky - she's watched some Tarkovsky. 'Deep,' says Brad. Doesn't he want to watch that sort of stuff, Mia asks; they could have a film club. Brad asks who else would be in it. Just them, Mia assures him. That sounds good to Brad too.

Tracy can't believe it about the car. Jazzer says since they can't sort it they could get the train and she points out that would cost a fortune – and how would they get around once there? Hiring a car would cost a fortune too. Jim arrives and asks how it's going. Not well, but there's one more thing Jazzer wants to try. Jim asks him to hold on as he has another wedding present for them. As well as being unenthused, Jazzer is covered in oil, so Jim asks Tracy to open it: it's just a little thing... Tracy protests that Jim already got them those lovely saucepans, but he says those were really quite boring and again prompts Tracy to open the package. She does, and asks Jim if those are his car keys, then tells Jazzer Jim is going to lend them his car. Jim's amazing, they both tell him, but can he manage without it for a whole ten days? Jim tells them airily, it's not for ten days, it's forever: he's giving them the Riley. They can't possibly accept, Tracy protests: it's too much! But Jim insists; the car's been serviced recently, so it shouldn't give them any trouble. And anyway, he's been thinking for some time that he ought to get a very different sort of vehicle; this has been just the prompt he needed. Jazzer doesn't know what to say. But Tracy does, and it's 'Thank you so much!' and can she give Jim a hug? Jazzer joins in in spirit only, to avoid covering their benefactor in oil. Jim offers to bring the car round as that will make it easier for them to transfer their luggage. Tracy warns Jazzer not to get oil all over her new car and amiable bickering ensues.

Brad, Mia and Jim are at last seeing the happy couple off, with love and good wishes all over the place. Mia reckons it will be two in the morning by the time they get there; so does Brad. Then Mia tells Jim what a lovely thing he has done and, conspiratorially, he informs her that he has been looking into getting an electric vehicle, now the charging station is a done deal. Mia says she hated them being on opposite sides over that and Jim agrees that it wasn't very pleasant at all. But that's all over now, the three agree. Anyway, it wasn't the charging station per se Jim objected to but the way Damara and CellCharge were rolling it out without due consultation or consideration. Both Jim and Mia feel that the companies still need an eye kept on them and Brad suggests the two of them can team up to do just that, which Mia and Jim think a fine idea. Jim is off to collapse in front of the television with another cold glass of white wine and will leave the young people to their evening: it's been a very long week. Left alone, Brad and Mia become awkward with one another. He assures her he's in no rush to get round to Susan's and hasn't even packed – but didn't Mia have to go to the shop? She says she's in no rush either and, when asked what she had to buy, confesses that the shop was just an excuse for seeing if Brad was about. This surprises him, not unpleasantly. He asks her if she is hungry, adding 'for food,' just in case of any confusion. Mia reminds him there is no food in the house but says they could get something and cook. Brad worries whether the shop will have anything suitable for a vegan but Mia says there are loads of things. But, she continues, she was sort of disappointed that George interrupted their conversation at the wedding: she was really hoping that Brad was going to kiss her. So before he goes and gets his key... Taken aback, Brad asks if she actually wants him to kiss her in the middle of the road where anyone could see. But they aren't in the middle of the road, she tells him, they're standing on the drive. [Since when did 6, The Green have a drive? It's a council semi, the front door practically opens onto the road. Chris] 'So I'll just kiss you then ... shall I?' Brad asks hesitantly. 'Yes please,' says Mia, 'that would be really nice.'

Summarised by Gus .


Sunday 9th July, 2023

Fallon is frustrated and Susan infuriated.

Characters: George, Brad, Susan, Fallon, Tony, Eddie
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

At Ambridge view, George and Brad are bickering; Brad objects to George's noisome garments having been piled on his, and George is outraged at having been woken by Brad banging around and appeals to his nana, who knows he needs his beauty sleep. Susan weakly tells them that if they kept their belongings on their own sides of the room everything would be fine. Brad says he needs to be up anyway, as he has 'homework' to do, and George tells him not to cry about it just because he's been bagged by 'hairy Mia'. Susan begins to deny that Mia is hirsute but thinks better of it as Brad retorts that at least he has a girlfriend, while George mutters something about Mia being a mammoth and adds that Brad's only had a girlfriend for five minutes. This leads to more insults being exchanged, and Susan has had enough: she's asked them time and again to stop sniping at each other. Not a blind bit of notice is taken until she leaves the room, taking George's console with her. It's going to be on top of her wardrobe until the pair learn to co-operate; she's sorry they have to share a room, but that's how it is. Brad pleads to be allowed to try the spare room, but Susan refuses; George helpfully suggests Brad could share with Bert, but apparently his snoring is even worse than George's company and Brad declines. Then Susan breaks the glad news that Eddie is coming round to paint the summerhouse – and she wants the boys helping him. Brad protests that he has a maths paper to do, and George claims that they get it now, they need to be nicer to each other and they will be, but Susan is implacable: they won't mind proving they can be nice to each other by working together, and as far as Brad's college work is concerned, well, the quicker they get started, the quicker they'll finish. [What a stupid, as well as nasty, woman she is. Gus] George, of course, blames Brad.

As Fallon is finishing taking a delivery for the tea-room, Tony corners her. She hopes it's something quick as she needs to get back to the counter. It is: all Tony wants is to postpone tomorrow morning's meeting. Fallon tells him that it is 'very disappointing' to have it rearranged again, but Tony tells her Tom has the winter cabbage to get in. Fallon suggests Johnny could cover as it won't take long, there are just a few things about the business she needs to discuss, but Tony tells her Johnny is still away; but he'll talk to Tom and find out when's best, if that's OK with Fallon. Fallon grudgingly agrees.

Inside the tea-room, Susan has been kept waiting but is understanding – they had a delayed delivery at the shop as well. She orders a pot of Earl Grey and a slice of fruitcake, telling Fallon she will sit over by the window and try to relax: it's been less than forty-eight hours and those boys are already at each other's throats. Fallon asks after Bert, who Susan tells her is actually worse than the boys. Apparently he refuses help dressing and then appears at breakfast in tatty long-johns because he can't manage his trousers, which discomfits George and Neil. Brad has told her this doesn't happen at home, and Fallon observes that Tracy has him trained. She'd warned Susan about their dad's little ways, and Susan is doing what Tracy advised but... His coffee's too strong, his room's too hot, even his sheets – premium Egyptian cotton from Underwoods! - are too scratchy. It's very wearing. Fallon tells her that if it's any consolation she is finding today pretty wearing herself, and explains that she's been trying to arrange a meeting with the Bridge Farm lot for nearly a fortnight but keeps getting given the brush-off by Helen , and now Tom's just cancelled. Susan says placatingly they are all very busy at the moment, but Fallon is not deflected: they're always busy, but what's different now? Susan mentions the twins and tries to pay; Fallon says there seems to have been a bit of whispering in corners at Bridge Farm, and wants to know what is going on with them. Nothing that she is aware of, Susan assures her: and she would be aware. She had a lovely chat with Helen only the other day, and Tom often brings the girls past the dairy window to wave; nothing's changed. Far from gruntled, Fallon says 'it must be me,' and asks how the wedding went – she was that busy with the food yesterday she forgot to ask. Susan tells her it was a fantastic spread but Fallon persists: she means the actual wedding – everyone was so late getting back. Susan makes vague excuses about a mix-up with the cars and turns the subject to Fallon's reason for wanting a meeting with the BFNI. It's about the EV charging station, Fallon tells her, and Susan observes that the place is causing so many problems already. Fallon laments about the café, which will be in direct competition with her and will clean up, being in a perfect location both for the village and for passing traffic. She'd open a second branch there herself if she could; as it is she has tons of great ideas to make sure the tea-room doesn't lose out – but she needs the nod from Bridge Farm. Susan tells her she needs to insist, then, if she's that concerned. 'Maybe I will,' says Fallon as Susan leaves.

In the garden at Ambridge View, Eddie is organising his two unwilling painters. Brad is to have the smaller brush for edge bits and George the big brush for everything else. He reminds the lads that he is being paid for this job, so there is to be no rushing. In fact, if they paint one side to show willing, Eddie will do the other three himself. In answer to George's question, no, they won't be getting a quarter of the money: they will be getting Susan off their backs which, in Eddie's book, is worth a lot more. He warns them that Neil is something of a perfectionist and will want his summerhouse just so. Doesn't George know it from Berrow, he grumbles. Brad ventures that it must be great working with his grandad. George explains that he is working for Hannah mostly and that she can be a right cow. Eddie pulls him up and says he would have been grateful for such an opportunity at George's age, then asks Brad how Tracy and Jazzer are getting on up in the Highlands. They're loving it but taking it easy with the Riley, Brad tells him. Eddie then tells George he has ordered the bales for his hay-stacking and George explains to Brad that this isn't for the fête but for Caroline's charity. The souvenir brochure is working like a dream, according to Eddie, with Lynda so absorbed in it that she's even missing committee meetings: so the fête will be 'guaranteed Grundy fun', and Eddie's even booked a bucking bronco. Neither boy likes the sound of that, thinking it far too risky and painful, and Eddie says youth is definitely wasted on them. As painting proper commences, Brad asks how much George is hoping to raise with the hay-bale stacking and offers to get Jazzer to bring all his mates to watch. Entente cordiale having been established, George offers Brad a game on the console in the evening once his homework is done.

Fallon asks Tony for a word. He just needs to shut the gate first, as the Anguses have been a bit lively today. Fallon loves seeing them race around and Tony fondly blames their fondness for fresh grass. What can he do for her? Fallon wanted to tell him that if tomorrow morning's no good, then she can do tomorrow afternoon, but Tony isn't sure – it's Tom, and it sounded as if he would be flat out all day. Switching from assertive to flustered, Fallon assures him that it won't take long, but she's really keen to discuss the lease and what Bridge Farm's vision for the future of the tea-room is: she's starting to feel she's being given the run-around, which Tony denies. Does Tom even need to be there? Tony says that since Tom and Helen run the farm now, he really should be. Fallon wonders if she should try again for some time with Helen. Tony points out Helen is even busier, what with the dairy and the boys, and that Tom is the one to ask. Assertive once more, Fallon asks whether she should phone him: she really needs a meeting as soon as possible. Tony thinks it best not to disturb him now as he's probably busy with the twins... Suddenly and uncharacteristically decisive, Tony suggests tomorrow at 2pm; he'll let Tom know he needs to make time. Fallon really appreciates it.

Eddie tells the lads it's looking good. George claims it is as good as they can get it and they ain't missed nothing neither. Brad says he hasn't but George has, and Eddie concurs: there's a bit to the side of the window. He was about to do that, George says defensively, but a tactless Brad points out that George said he had finished and has cleaned his brush. A squabble over brushes and painting privilege ensues and is morphing into a struggle just as Susan approaches cooing about how lovely it looks. A piercing scream confirms that the inevitable has happened, and horrified exclamations from the three males ensue as Susan exclaims, possibly superfluously, that She. Is. Covered. She's not very happy about it, either. Eddie offers an apology and the two boys join in, but to no avail: 'If you boys think you're getting that blessed console back any time soon, you are sadly mistaken,' Susan says through gritted teeth, departing. As the blame game between Brad and George begins, Eddie tells them to button it: they're going to have to paint the inside as well now. Against a crescendo of recriminations between George and Brad, Eddie implores the universe for strength.

Summarised by Gus. Can youse lot not just listen for yourselves, please?

Monday 10th July, 2023

Lynda's eyes are opened, while Tom doesn't want to look too far ahead.

Characters: Joy, Eddie, Tony, Fallon, Tom, Lynda
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Joy is ringing the doorbell at Ambridge Hall to no effect. Eddie comes round from the back and tells her Lynda won't hear her, not when she's in the kitchen on her laptop and immersed in research. Joy assumes that means research into the history of the fête, but Eddie claims he wouldn't know; he does know that it's virtually impossible to get a cuppa out of Lynda these days. In answer to Joy's enquiry, he vouchsafes that the pergola is done and dusted and now he's relaying the front path [presumably Joy can see that latter for herself. Gus]. Joy's just finished at the shop, where she heard all about the summerhouse incident: apparently the paint has come out of Susan's top but her skirt is ruined [Good. Gus]. Eddie reckons he'd better steer clear of Susan for a bit. He'll be at Lynda's for a couple more days, and he has various irons in the fire lined up which he is somewhat cagey about, assuring Joy they are very boring. Following Eddie's advice, Joy decides to go round the back in search of Lynda.

At Bridge Farm, Tony and Fallon are making small talk as they wait for Tom to arrive for their meeting, and it emerges that Fallon and Emma have been working on the twins' birthday cake but are finding goats a little tricky: they tend to come out looking a lot like sheep. Tony can't believe the girls are one already. As Fallon starts to get twitchy about the time Tom joins them and, when Fallon wants to get started straight away, gracelessly tells her 'the quicker the better'. The EV station is looming large, Fallon says, and asks whether anyone from Bridge Farm was at the meeting; Tony tells her they couldn't manage it. She reports that the presentation was impressive and very worrying, and that the operation is likely to be up and running within the year. Tony mutters about planning permission but both Tom and Fallon regard that as a done deal. Anyway, the meeting provided more information on the retail elements , and that is what is worrying Fallon. As well as the cafe, which as Tony already suspected will be direct competition for the tea-room, and a hair salon, there's going to be a shop, everything as sustainable as possible. Suddenly taking an interest, Tom realises that this will also constitute direct competition for the farm shop too. That's her point, Fallon tells him; there are going to be similar businesses to theirs, with similar ethics, but ideally located for the travelling public. The ever-delightful Tom says Tony should have clocked all this – they do not want to be playing catch-up! Mildly, Tony agrees and says they will have to start planning, and Fallon points out that is what she wants to talk about.

Lynda wants to know whether Joy is all right on that chair: her research has rather taken over the kitchen. She elaborates on how fascinating it is, to a marked lack of interest from Joy, and enumerates various attractions that featured in the past. Joy makes some vain attempts to stem the flow before pulling Lynda up, saying that they mustn't get distracted: she needs to tell Lynda about the committee meeting. Lynda says she was sorry to miss it but it was the only available time to harvest reminiscences from the inmates of the Laurels, before beginning to expound on those reminiscences in tedious detail. Joy observes they are getting distracted again and is finally permitted to report on the meeting. Fallon couldn't make it so it was just Joy plus Clarrie, Will, Emma and Eddie. Lynda wants to know if much was discussed and whether stalls and events are coming together and at first is thrilled when Joy says that things seem well planned. Then she picks up on Joy's tone and begins to probe. Joy tells her that events appear to be simultaneously well planned and 'quite vague', which Lynda agrees is strange. Joy informs her that this year's fête might well be a very different proposition from its predecessors, in fact virtually unrecognisable. As things stand, Joy gloomily predicts, the Ambridge fête could be virtually unrecognisable; Lynda gasps, and asks what she means.

Fallon explains that the Hollowtree site will use offers and promotions linked with other charging stations across the region, which even Tom and Tony recognise as a serious threat. Fallon feels that she and Bridge Farm should also use cross-overs: Bridge Fresh could offer her baked goods and the tea-room do a tie-up with their recipe suggestions. Fallon could even put on cookery classes to complement their cheese making! There are loads of ways to exploit each other's strengths. Tom thinks those are great ideas. And, Fallon continues, though less fluently, the more closely they work together, the less likely it is that they will have a repeat of the Open Farm Sunday disaster. Tony says they were sorry to let her down and Fallon drives home that it would have been a big event for her and that she was very unhappy about the cancellation; Tom dismisses the issue, saying it was 'unavoidable'. If they are investing time and money to compete with the EV station, hopefully Bridge Farm will recognise that Fallon needs some certainty and stability, she tells them, which is why she wants to discuss fixing the rent. 'For the length of the lease?' Tom asks, while Tony assumes that is two or three years, but Fallon meant more like eight years – it's the security she would need for that kind of investment. And although the lease isn't up yet, it makes sense for her to renew it as soon as possible: with the time and effort involved in competing with the new development, there's no time to waste. In principle, Tony can't see a problem, but Tom reminds him that Helen will have to be involved [Helen being the very definition of 'problem', obviously. Gus]; Tony says he will talk to her later and get back to Fallon straight away: he's sure they can work something out. Fallon tells him that's brilliant and apologises for having been pushy, but Tony understands: it's her livelihood. She believes that long as they are totally in synch business-wise, both parties will be fine. Tony agrees; Tom is silent.

Lynda is running through the events that won't be at the fête, including the WI stall, cream teas or Dunk the Vicar; surely, she asks wistfully, there's a tombola... but perhaps some innovation is a good thing, she concedes: so what are they planning? Joy isn't sure. There was a list, but Emma kept it covered and the Grundys were referring to stalls by number only. Joy mentions knitted animal prizes for stall three and speculates that might be a tombola. Lynda is shocked to hear a bucking bronco has been booked for stall eight but supposes the young people might like it. Continuing her report, Joy reveals that Clarrie and Emma were whispering about something called 'The Warrener'. Lynda wonders whether that is something to do with rabbits and Joy tells her that her own researches confirm that it is but that it is also to do with – 'ferrets!' the women exclaim in unison. At this critical point Eddie knocks and enters, in search of a cuppa. Lynda asks if he enjoyed yesterday's committee meeting and whether he is happy with progress so far. He flannels about fitting in around everyone and just being happy as long as they are doing their bit for the community. Lynda, clearly not bamboozled, dismisses him, saying she will take a coffee out shortly. Once he is out of earshot, she hisses 'Gotcha, Eddie Grundy!' and Joy asks what she means. Lynda is surprised it isn't obvious to her: what they have on their hands is a coup de fête. Tactlessly, Joy describes the fête brochure suggestion as a stroke of genius in terms of its distracting effect and tells Lynda that she fell for it hook, line and sinker. Chastened, Lynda agrees that perhaps she has been a bit of a mug – but now they have smelt a rat ('or ferret,' both add) and identified the 'dark force' at work, they are better equipped to defend their beloved fête. Lynda has no intention of letting traditional favourites like Dunk the Vicar to be usurped by Eddie's ferrety fun. But first, they must find out exactly what he is up to. [Shoot me now. Please. Gus]

At Bridge Farm, Tony points out that Tom is behind with the purple sprouting broccoli and Tom blames a possible case of lameness in the Montbéliardes for taking up his time and leaving Adam single-handed. Tony is relieved to hear it was a false alarm and is sure they can make up lost time. He tells Tom that Pat has been chatting with Fallon about collaboration and that Pat was impressed with Fallon's ideas for drawing in new custom from outside the village, which sounded very lucrative. Tom snipes that they can't be lucrative enough if Fallon wants to fix the rent. Tony realises that would mean less for Bridge Farm, but Tom interrupts him with his misgivings about the proposed length of the lease: the girls will be nine by then [If they survive. And so what? Gus] and the farm could be completely different. Tony reminds Tom that Fallon is a huge bonus for their business and feels they can't risk losing her. But Tom is unwilling for them to tie themselves into a 'ridiculously long lease'. He's not saying at this point they are going to turn her down, but his gut feeling is that he is really not sure.

Summarised by Gus.


Tuesday 11th July, 2023

Harrison wants out; George is out.

Characters: Harrison, Fallon, George, Hannah, Neil
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Because he's had a rough morning at work, Harrison has rung Fallon, who is at work in the tea-room, to ask if she fancies a walk this afternoon, and she agrees that she doesn't mind. He will show her the trail he did with Ben through the rewilding, and bring his binoculars hoping to see a red kite again. Fallon has emailed more of her ideas to Tom and Tony, though Harrison thinks she did a cracking job yesterday and they could ask if they needed anything clarifying. Tony did say they'd get back to her straight away, and she feels so much better now she's finally put her case across. They were receptive in the end so it was worth the wait: they just hadn't realised how the EV station could affect them. Harrison is proud of her, and will see her at home shortly

Very slowly pushing a broom, George murmurs 'any minute ... now' as Hannah calls for him. He has failed to prepare two pens for the new pigs which Jodie has gone to fetch. His attitude to her wanting him to work a bit faster is what in the forces is called 'dumb insolence'; speaking slowly and in the tone of one explaining to an idiot child, he blames his not having been able to do his job on distractions like talking to Hannah, and then on a couple of feeders having needed fixing earlier. She repeats what she said last time and the time before: if he shows them to Jodie she will fix them. He tells her patronisingly that he didn't need to, because he did it. She points out that he is now behind, and when he asks in a jeering voice whether he should get on with it then tells him just to finish the pens. [He can't want to keep the job: nobody who wants to keep a job talks to their boss the way he talks to Hannah. Chris.] She answers her phone and, as George breathes loudly through his mouth, assures Jodie he shouldn't be too long, and not to worry.

On their walk Harrison is listening out for the call of a red kite, and tells Fallon that they might have disappeared if not for their re-introduction to this country thirty years back [in 1979, at Christmas Common. Chris], and they are now thriving again. Fallon hasn't been listening and asks 'who?', then asks if he has a signal there; he has, so has she, and she can't understand why she hasn't had a call from Tony. She thought they might have responded by now, especially after her email. Harrison suggests that it's not surprising: it's a busy time for farmers. A red kite calls, and Harrison triumphantly asks if she heard it; he gets out his binoculars but can's see it, and claims it is difficult because of the clouds [because dark birds don't show up against a light background. What on earth does he need binoculars for anyway? You can see a red kite really easily: they have a seventy-inch wingspan. I suppose he thought they were flying above the cloud-cover. Chris]. Fallon refers to him getting into 'bird-spotting' and he corrects her: it's called 'birding', and he loves it, just as he loves watching Tony's longhorns. Fallon asks about the wildlife officer job, and he admits he didn't get it because he hadn't enough relevant experience. She is indignant on his behalf, and he has a quick burst of eulogising the calm in the heart of the countryside and how he would have loved the job. Fallon suggests that there must be other ways to cut down his stress without changing his job, but he hasn't been able to think of any. The job has never been easy, and he thinks he might be reaching his limit. He has begun to understand what people mean by 'burning out'. Fallon is anxiously sympathetic and, when he makes a feeble joke about Sergeant Burns burning out, tells him it's not funny, it's serious. As they are agreeing they will both think about it a text comes through on her phone, but it's not from Tony: it's Lynda, who is concerned that although Eddie is enthusiastic it's the wrong sort of enthusiasm and he is messing with tradition. They are both mocking this, when Fallon manages to spot a kite [and her with no binoculars. Amazing. Chris] and Harrison is delighted.

When Hannah next comes to find George to tell him he has not finished the jobs he was told to do, he is listening to music on headphones and claims to be on his lunch-break. Jodie has had to do his job; Hannah asks him to go and help her, please. He is reluctant, saying that he'll be there as soon as he can, but as he is slowly moving towards the door Hannah notices something sticking out of the bin: is that a sausage roll wrapper? George asks what she means, then denies it is his, and denies any knowledge about how it can have got there. He knows about bio-security, and indignantly insists it's not his wrapper, nothing to do with him. She is certain that nobody else would be stupid enough to bring that kind of thing into Berrow, and he asks insolently whether she wants him to finish cleaning the pens or not, just as Neil comes in wanting to know what the noise is about. Undistracted, Hannah tells George that she wants him to explain how that wrapper got in their staff area. Neil asks again what is going on and George instantly blames Hannah, saying she is accusing him of something he never done. She shows Neil the wrapper, and he is horrified; Hannah says George has totally breached bio-security, which George vehemently denies, and Neil is exasperated but unsurprised. Hannah says that's gross misconduct right there, and George shouts, 'No! Can't you just listen?'

Fallon and Harrison are being blissed out on countryside, and Fallon is talking up the potential of the tea-room, how much she loves running it, and how she and Emma are a strong team. It's obvious that Bridge Farm do appreciate what they're doing. As a result of a lot of self-suggestibility Fallon suggests that if the café's future is secure then perhaps she and Harrison can change the balance between them: he could do a bit less of the work he finds so stressful and go part-time. He'd never thought about that, but thinks it a fantastic idea. Is she sure? Fallon doesn't see why not: so long as they can cover the mortgage and the bills, it seems like a win-win. Harrison says he'll have a word with the gaffer [as opposed to the guv'nor. Chris] tomorrow and see what's possible. She's amazing.

George is now loudly telling Neil that he can't get through to Hannah that it's not his wrapper. Hannah pertinently enquires whose it is then, and when he asks how he is meant to know, and starts wildly suggesting improbable possibles like the cleaner or a visitor and claiming he's been grafting in the indoor unit all morning so he doesn't know who's been in there, knocks down the suggestion of the cleaner, who has been there since the unit opened and would never do that. Neil concurs. Hannah then asserts they have had no visitors to her knowledge, and Neil again agrees with her. On the ropes, George goes on saying he doesn't know what happened, then adds that he wouldn't put it past Hannah to plant the wrapper there so she could blame him. Neil and Hannah are both outraged by this accusation, and Hannah tells him he's been a nightmare from the start, then reminds Neil that George is still not following her instruction, and is constantly back-chatting her and Jodie, and to crown it all he's been deliberately working slowly today just when they're at their busiest. She's had enough. So has Neil; suddenly stern, he tells George to get his belongings, now, and when George says he can't mean that tells him that he does. He's explained very carefully what would happen if George carried on as he had been, and he now refuses to allow George to interrupt him. They've tried their best, but it's simply not working. He apologises to Hannah: he should have intervened earlier. Hannah points out that it is hardly his fault, since Martyn gave George the job, and George whinges loudly that it isn't fair, he didn't do it, it wasn't him! Hannah is angry: he put all their jobs at risk and now he's lying about it. George appeals to his grandad, wailing that Neil has to believe him, but Neil is afraid he doesn't. So that's it. George is out, and is to leave the premises. George can't believe it: Neil can't just sack him! 'I can,' says Neil quietly, 'And I have.' Despite all the warnings, George has breached bio-security, so yes, he's fired.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 12th July, 2023

Neil gets hounded, and Pip and Stella get pissed.

Characters: Brian, Stella, Susan, Neil, Emma
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

At Home Farm Brian is confirming with Stella that they are on track to start the combining next week and she is all set for second cut silaging at Brookfield; she and Ed will do that tomorrow. He wants to join them, since he finds the forage harvester straightforward. She mentions the cherries, about which Brian is not happy, and they agree on the difficulty of recruiting pickers for them; she says it's a huge effort nowadays but Brian points out it always was, even before Brexit. Stella dislikes their timing: she'd rather concentrate on the arable. When Brian mentions that Adam took care of the soft fruit Stella muses that was a long time ago and a lot has changed since then. Pip then silently appears, having come to take Stella to Borchester Lido; Brian thinks anyone swimming out of doors is mad, but Stella goes to fetch her things.

Neil is late getting home, as Susan remarks; he reminds her that with George gone they are understaffed again and he can't come home until the work is done. He sits down to relax with a cup of tea, and Susan asks how Hannah was today; still quite angry, Neil tells her, and so is he. Susan has never seen George so quiet: he wouldn't say a word to her or Brad yesterday, he just shoved all his stuff in plastic bags and Eddie gave him a lift back to Little Grange. Neil growls, then says that Brad can spread out now, can't he. Susan says he doesn't like to in case George comes back, but Neil is clear that definitely won't do happen. When Susan makes a protesting noise he adds that she is not to start: they went over it all last night. Susan says Will came round earlier, fuming, and Emma is coming round shortly; Neil isn't happy about that, but Susan couldn't stop her. Neil has already told her what happened, on the phone, but Susan is afraid he's going to have to go over it again: nobody wants to hear her son has been sacked by his own grandad! Neil is clear: he's George's grandad at home, but at Berrow he's his boss, and they are two very different things. When Susan tries to make excuses for George Neil is not receptive. She fears he's given up on George, and Neil responds by asking if she blames him, then angrily adds the OK, she does, fine. She is sure there must be some way of sorting it out and doubts George meant to do whatever it was they think he did [she clearly has the brain of an amoeba if she can't understand biosecurity and 'your husband might lose his job if it is breached'. Chris] and Neil irritably explains, clearly not for the first time, exactly what George did wrong. When she suggests that perhaps George forgot, Neil says that if he had, Neil would have sacked him for forgetting. But George didn't say he forgot: he looked Neil in the eye and lied.

When the second cut starts tomorrow Ruth will do the milking, so Pip, David and Josh will be on hand for the second cut; Brian asks about Ben, but he will be at work all week. Pip [who has never farmed fruit and knows sfa about them. Chris] takes it on herself to inform Brian that now he just has cherries there can't be much profit for him in fruit, that people are buying cheaper, imported cherries now and that in her eyes it's a waste of a half-acre. When Brian's 'I see' is clearly neither supportive nor enthusiastic she back-tracks and asks whether he's found out what Adam thinks, since they were his baby; luckily for her Stella comes back before Brian can tell her what he thinks about that idea. Brian tells Stella that Pip thinks the cherries are a spectacular waste of effort, which causes Stella to say 'Does she now!' and Pip to deny having said that and admit it's nothing to do with her. As they leave Stella asks her if she has any more advice on running Home Farm and Brian adds they are dying to hear it. Pip loses her temper and tells them both to shut up.

Emma won't stay long because Keira has some maths to finish and she said she'd help [How? Emma couldn't do maths twenty years ago, for all Neil now claims she was always good with numbers, so why would she be able to now? Chris]; she is only there because they need to talk about George. Susan says he was doing so well, Emma speaks of his college course and Oliver's 'investment' and says he was really beginning to see where he was going, career-wise. The job at Berrow was such a wonderful opportunity and they were dead grateful to Neil for giving him the chance. Neil points out heavily that he said at the time that was Martyn, not him, and he had his doubts from the start, Susan leaps in to remind them that George didn't have the experience and Emma says he's a quick learner and Martyn must have seen that. Neil's opinion is less flattering to George: Martyn wanted someone cheap; this silences Emma briefly. Neil continues that George could be an excellent worker, and at times he was: he's got the brains, the skills and the intuition you need to work with livestock, in spades. What he lacks is the right attitude. You can't deliberately work slow when folk are waiting on you. Emma hastily breaks in to claim George wouldn't do that, but Neil informs her that he has, more than once. Also he cannot stay on task: you ask him to do something and within half an hour he's got distracted. Emma says they will speak to him, and Susan says he's only just eighteen and in his first proper job, with Emma adding he's got his whole life ahead of him and surely they can give him another chance? Neil reminds her it was gross misconduct, and she wants George suspended instead. It's too late, thunders Neil, and Emma aggrievedly wants to know why he has to be so stubborn when George needs support from his family, not this constant judging. Neil is going to wreck his life, can't he see that? As far as Neil is concerned it won't be him wrecking it, and Susan breaks in to ask whether one of them couldn't have talked to him about it; Neil loudly tells her that George has been spoken to, repeatedly. Emma asks how he means, and he tells her George has had two verbal warnings; it seems George never said a word about that to her, and Susan didn't know either. Susan wants to know why Neil didn't say.

Having left the lido earlier than they had intended because it was too cold, Pip and Stella are now back at Rickyard Cottage drinking a bottle of wine won in a raffle which Stella had in the back of her car. Since Brian is dropping over tomorrow to help with the silaging Stella doesn't want to breathe cheap red wine over him, and she suggests they call it a night, but Pip finds two bottles of a quite expensive Malbec. Rosie is with Mum and Gran, Pip has a free night and an empty cottage, and she is apparently determined to get drunk. [Three bottles between two of them, call it fifteen units. Chris.] Stella cheerfully comments on Home Farm having hosted so many pet projects like the soft fruit, oh and the aquaponics, not to mention Spiritual Home; she reckons Brian is far too indulgent and will let Ruairi turn the eco-office into a micro-brewery next; this gives Pip the opportunity to be snide about Toby and the boutique gin distillery guaranteed never to make a penny. If Stella had her way Home Farm would to be alive with heritage grains like einkorn and tef; it would also have more beetle banks and be moved to the Welsh border, where Stella would live in a sandstone farmhouse with a huge range in the kitchen for Weaver to curl up beside. She and Pip get drunk and swap daydreams: Pip wants her own Brookfield with her own dairy herd, a cottage big enough for Rosie and a partner who's happy to talk farming 24/7.

Emma now wants Berrow to take George back and install CCTV in the staff room. Neil is incredulous, but she reckons no one will eat pork products if there's cameras watching, to which he comes back that no-one does eat pork products, not till now. She plays the 'he's not had it easy' card, and accuses Hannah of being a dragon; Neil dismisses this as rubbish. Emma goes on to cast doubt on whether George even did what he's accused of, implying that Hannah might indeed have planted evidence, and Neil finally hits the roof. He so wanted George to succeed, and he really thought he'd turned a corner, but it's just all so disappointing. Emma immediately says she is disappointed – in Neil. Susan exclaims against this, but Emma is now well off on one, wanting to know why she wouldn't believe her own son's account of what happened even though she wasn't there; 'because he's a liar' is Neil's shouted reply. Emma flounces out in a fury, and Susan reproaches Neil: what has he done? Neil has had enough after his twelve-hour shift, and goes away to lie down: he did the only thing he could do yesterday so it's upsetting when even his own wife can't see that. She calls after him but gets no reply.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 13th July, 2023

In which we learn that sheep have a will of their own, and paradoxically that following George made Brad a sheep.

Characters: Pip, Stella, Helen, George, Brad, Dr Webber
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Last night's debaucheries, for which Pip apologises, have caught up with Stella, who encourages Ed to keep going on the forage harvester; Brian was too busy talking to David to notice the wine on her breath, but Ed sussed her immediately and keeps grinning at her and suggesting loudly that she should take over cutting the grass. Luckily for Pip her dad seems happy enough driving the tractor; she couldn't even have ridden a bike this morning. Pip's phone rings too loudly for Stella's comfort: it's Helen warning her that some sheep are loose and heading for the village green. Helen is on the back lane near Spiritual Home [why was she there, nowhere near Bridge Farm and on the way to nowhere? Chris] doing her best for them, but needs help urgently. Pip is immediately ready to go; Stella decides Brian can muck in if help is needed at Brookfield, and makes tracks with her.

Presumably at Grange Farm though we actually get no clue about where they are, George offers Brad a brew, which Brad turns down. He asks how George is getting on and George is offensive about Brad having the bedroom to himself and cheering when he heard George was gone, which Brad denies. Brad has been determinedly not listening but has been unable to avoid hearing the rows at Ambridge View, including Emma's visit; there was shouting and doors slamming, he tells George, but he doesn't think Neil will change his mind. Brad tells George that Neil is pretty upset himself, an idea at which George scoffs, and then suggests George should just say sorry, an idea at which George is disgusted. Brad informs him that everyone knows how he loves sausage rolls, so he might as well just admit it and then he might get a second chance. George fails actually to deny that it was his sausage roll wrapper even when Brad asks him point-blank whether it was him, while angrily asserting that they have no evidence and shouldn't accuse him. Brad is clear: they have accused him, and they've sacked him. George continues to claim that it's not right, while Brad tells him that if you've done something wrong you need to grovel a bit: Brad does that all the time. He denies George's instant assumption that shows he's a loser; what it shows is that you know you were wrong and you won't do it again. People love it when you've learnt something. What George has learnt, apparently, is that Hannah Riley is a snake, and so is Grandad. Brad knows Jazzer doesn't think so, but George reckons they ought to grovel to him to come back, especially Hannah. Then he asks about a party at Brad's place at the weekend, an idea which Brad absolutely rejects while telling him not to change the subject. He's heard George boasting about being difficult with Hannah [boasting to whom? Chris]; George instantly starts trying to threaten him, and also mentions not telling 'hairy Mia', to which offensive soubriquet Brad objects, saying he'll tell the whole world if George calls her that again. George laughs at him but reiterates that if there's no proof, they can't say what happened. Brad gives vent to an exasperated 'gaaah' and wants to know why he makes things so hard for himself: Tracy always says George is his own worst enemy, which Brad never understood but does now: for George, that's spot on.

The sheep are being herded, and Helen is very glad Pip was nearby; she hasn't handled sheep for decades. [Or ever: Bridge Farm never had sheep. Chris.] Helen assumes the sheep got out by the gate near Spiritual Home, since that's the direction they were coming from; Stella assumes it's a customer from there again, and Pip says it's bound to be: it was last time. Stella claims this is not doing her hangover any good at all, and Pip says nor hers; Helen laughs at them. An impatient motorist starts hooting at them, which naturally makes matters worse; the sheep are nearly at the gate when he hoots even more vigorously and scatters them so that it's all to do again, and, as Pip says, he'll have to wait a lot longer.

The argument about whether George ought to own up continues, with Brad saying that he has to face the music some time and it might as well be now instead of causing all this grief for his family; it's plain George is not prepared to do this, and insists the family ought to stand up for him. Not if he's told them a pack of lies, says Brad, re-opening the row about lying to the police at George's behest. When George says that at least he did the right thing and came clean to 'the feds', Brad tells him that was because he was bricking it, and George claims Brad has had it in for him ever since. Brad was more angry with himself, and when George asks 'For lying?' he says yes, but mostly for following George into Grey Gables in the first place: he should have ignored him. George claims he wouldn't have gone in if Brad hadn't gone too, so it was Brad's fault for being such a sheep. Eventually George reluctantly tells Brad he is sorry, and Brad accepts that and says so is he then. George then promises that Brad's eighteenth next year will be a night to remember, but only in a good way; Brad says George will still be unemployed by then, and George opines they'll see about that.

After the sheep are back in the field Helen asks how the hangovers are, and they are surprisingly good; the three women contemplate chasing escaped sheep as a ground-breaking new hangover cure. Stella and Pip are both furious with Kate about the gate being left open; Helen has thoroughly enjoyed herself. As she is being thanked her phone rings and she walks off to answer it. The other two go back to Brookfield.

The phone call is from a doctor Webber, who is a hospital consultant in Hampshire, a neurologist [as opposed apparently to a neuro-oncologist. Chris], and one of her patients has Helen down as an emergency contact. Robert Titchener. Helen is very taken aback and says they are divorced; Dr Webber says Rob has put her down on his forms, and they have been unable to contact his brother Miles. They need Rob to attend her clinic tomorrow to complete an appointment he walked out of today in quite a state. Helen says she really can't help; she doesn't live in Hampshire and is not at all local, as well as being very much divorced. Dr Webber continues to put pressure on her, saying that it's crucial they discuss his results and they need someone to be with him, and agreeing when Helen says it's complicated but assuming that what is meant is the appointment not the relationship. Helen continues to say 'No', and that she won't be there tomorrow. When Dr Webber says they might be able to fit him in next week instead, Helen says she can't come at all, she's sorry but she really cannot help, and rings off before asking rhetorically 'When does it end?'

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 14th July, 2023

Both Fallon and Rob get bad news, worse in one case than the other.

Characters: Helen, Kirsty, Fallon, Tom, Lynda, Rob, Dr Webber
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

For all her brave words of refusal yesterday, Helen has changed her mind and is now being driven to the hospital in Hampshire by Kirsty. They have checked the hospital website to make sure Dr Webber is real and not just another hoax by Rob; Helen wonders whether she is asking for trouble by getting involved [yes. Chris] and Kirsty offers to turn the car round and go home, but after talking with Lee half the night Helen is now determined. She just wants to know what's going on: it must be about the seizure, and she just hopes he doesn't say Lee caused it. She'll know a lot more when the doctor discusses the diagnosis.

Fallon has finally run Tom to earth serving in the Bridge Farm shop; she's been hoping to sign the new lease this week. He stonewalls, saying they haven't had time to discuss it yet, and they are interrupted by Lynda, who has come in with a long shopping-list. As Lynda goes to collect things Fallon tries to get Tom to attend to her, but he says it's not a good time and goes away to fetch some shiitake mushrooms for Lynda to serve at her B&B customers' breakfasts. To add to Fallon's discomfiture Lynda immediately starts to try to talk to her about Eddie and the fête committee, about which she knows no more than she did when Lynda asked her yesterday, and she didn't know anything then. Lynda starts wittering in TV cop-speak about getting Emma to be their spy; Fallon is married to a policeman and they tend to avoid police dramas, and in any case she has enough drama in her life. Lynda immediately noses out 'a certain tension' between her and Tom, about whose cause Fallon claims ignorance, and agrees to stay back when Fallon talks to Tom on his reappearance in the shop, but at once returns to her preoccupation with the fête committee and the need for an inside source to tell her about Eddie's plans. She also reverts to the absurd police drama phrases when Fallon displays a complete lack of interest.

When Helen arrives late and flustered in Outpatients Rob greets her cordially and Dr Webber thanks her for coming. When asked about the previous day's appointment possibly having been overwhelming, Rob says that 'confusing' and 'lacking in clarity' would be his feedback; he had to go on line last night to research it himself, and now understands what she was trying to say. Dr Webber sensibly asks him to explain the situation to Helen rather than to her, and he does so: when he passed out last month the suggestion is that it was caused by an astrocytoma, which is a kind of brain tumour. When Helen seems shocked he tells her she mustn't worry, because although it can cause minor symptoms it's perfectly benign. Dr Webber stops him: that's not quite what she said. Yes, it's an astrocytoma, which he wrote down, but this particular kind is referred to as a glioblastoma. Helen asks whether that caused the seizure and Rob says no, he simply passed out because he hadn't been eating properly: it was his own fault. Again Dr Webber corrects him: there have been at least three confirmed seizures over the last few weeks. Rob snorts. She goes on to tell him that as she explained yesterday, this glioblastoma is not actually benign and can be quite aggressive. She's sorry to say that Rob's is a grade 4, which is the most aggressive. These sorts of tumours can come on very quickly; Rob snorts and she asks whether he needs a moment, but he just enquires why he would 'need a moment' and then asserts (obviously incorrectly) that is pretty-much what he read on line. She lists symptoms, none of which Rob admits to, then asks if there have been any changes in personality: he did seem to be feeling very ... angry yesterday. He says that's nonsense and she asks Helen if that's a change at all; Helen says 'no' and Rob takes this as vindicating his view he has none of the symptoms, so the only conclusion is that some idiot in a lab coat has mixed up his results. Helen reminds him that she saw him have a seizure, but he claims that was the stress of not seeing his son. That is enough for Helen, who says she had better get back to her friend; Dr Webber asks her to stay just a little longer and Rob admits it might be helpful, so she sits down again. Rob then asks about radiotherapy and chemo; Dr Webber says that while they can be options for glioblastomas, the oncologist isn't certain they'd be helpful in this case, so Rob suggests they can just cut it out. He starts to lose his temper when Dr Webber proceeds carefully, but subsides slightly when she tells him that the size and position of the tumour in this case means it is inoperable. There is a long pause before he repeats the word. He then inveighs against the NHS and calls the consultant 'a mere junior doctor', and Helen asks him to stop this, please.

When Tom gets back with the mushrooms Fallon tells him she can see he's busy and offers to print out a revised contract and bring it over for them all to sign. He says no, they need to discuss it properly first, and when she asks what's to discuss tells her that he can't see how they can consider such a long lease. She protests she needs the security, and he wonders aloud whether it is really the best way forward for Bridge Farm. She reminds him about the EV charging station but he is not so sure. He has to talk it over with Helen, and more immediately has to answer his phone to Natasha. His change of heart baffles Fallon: he and Tony were so enthusiastic on Monday that she has even suggested Harrison could go part-time. Lynda murmurs sympathetically.

Rob is now insisting that he needs to hear this kind of information from the chap in charge, an expert, apparently unable to comprehend that a woman might be senior to her registrar Dr Perry, who sat in at the appointment yesterday: that's who he wants to see. Helen gently tells him that Dr Webber is the lead consultant neurologist: she is the expert here. In that case Rob needs a second opinion: he prefers not to take the word of one individual, however high and mighty she regards herself. Dr Webber, keeping her temper, says she will arrange it as soon as possible. Helen asks about what next if chemo and radiotherapy aren't appropriate, and Dr Webber says they will make decision at their multi-disciplinary meeting, but there are a number of drugs that can improve quality of life: Rob asks what 'improve quality of life' means, and she tells him that minimising symptoms would be their focus as opposed to active treatment or.. She pauses and Rob demands, 'Come on. Or?' so she reluctantly adds 'or prolonging life.' He asks if this is some kind of sick joke, laughs, says he feels fine and then asks 'If it's all so bloody hopeless, how long have I got?' Her answer is that it depends on several factors, and when he demands that she put her money where her mouth is, and after further goading, she says she would expect them to be talking months. Around three, perhaps a little longer. Rob is silent; Helen asks if he's OK, and he says no, he isn't: this is beyond ridiculous. He has had enough, and walks out shouting 'Utter incompetence!' Helen starts to apologise and Dr Webber thanks here for having been there: they got through the diagnosis and she is very grateful. She thinks Helen can see what they're up against. Helen tells her she knows exactly what they are up against; Dr Webber expects she does. Helen follows Rob.

Outside, Kirsty greets her and Helen asks where Rob went, then follows him to the car park, leaving Kirsty to wait for her.

Rob is not going anywhere: he can't find his car-park ticket to get through the barrier. Helen suggests he might have left it in the car as he often used to do, then asks if he's OK. He makes light of his state, but then starts to cry and say he can't actually... she says she is so sorry and asks if he'll be OK getting home. He's not sure. He doesn't know what's happening to him, what's happening. Come here, come here, she urges him; she knows, she knows, it's awful, it's really horrible; as he sobs she repeats 'I know, I know.'

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 16th July, 2023

Jazzer and Tracy had a lovely time, and Helen's enjoying herself too.

Characters: Helen, Kirsty, Susan, Jazzer, Tracy, Neil
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Helen is falling apart over her preparations for the twin's birthday party on Friday, but doesn't argue when Kirsty points out that neither Natasha's perfectionism nor the decorations she is struggling with are the problem. Then a message from Miles comes through on Helen's phone: he wants to meet. Kirsty is indignant: doesn't he have enough to do looking after his brother? Helen doesn't know what he wants from her, and when Kirsty reminds her that it is not her problem agrees but then says she still can't quite believe it. Nor can Kirsty, who asks how the family has taken the news; Helen hasn't told them, only Lee. Mum and Dad were so upset she'd gone to meet him before... Surely his diagnosis changes everything, exclaims Kirsty, and surely they are on her side; she implores Helen not to try to face this alone when she doesn't need to, then when Helen remains silent she asks what Lee said. He was shocked too, but Helen could feel him, around the edges, wanting to celebrate. She doesn't know what a person does when they find out their abuser is dying.

Home from the honeymoon, Jazzer is trying for romantic carrying of Tracy over the threshold [of someone else's house. Chris] but can only manage to drag her, to Susan's amusement. Neil claims Tracy is light as a feather, which pleases her, then invites them to sit down and tuck in to the special honeymooners' breakfast Susan has laid on for them. What Neil now wants to know is whether they are now actually married, and Jazzer explains that it wasn't possible: you have to be resident in a place for at least a month in Scotland before you can get married there, not like Vegas. Susan reckons they need to sort it out soon or they'll never get round to it; Neil changes the subject to the meal, for which Tracy thanks Susan profusely. Susan then asks how the holiday went, and Tracy is lyrical about driving up to Scotland in the Riley without using motorways; Jazzer temporises by mentioning the fuel bill, but Tracy reckons it was worth it. Jim's Riley is a dream and Scotland is stunning, she goes on: the Isle of Skye is like a picture, but Jazzer preferred Stirling where he tried and failed to recite the 'Braveheart' speech at the Wallace monument; he interjects that it's the sentiment that counts, not the words. The first B&B in Scotland was at a 'wee place on Loch Linnhe' near Fort William [I make that Druimarben, where there is a B&B; a mere 414 miles from home, add about fifty for not using motorways. Chris] with a balcony on the back of the room from which they could see the water. They just sat out there most of the time, chatting; after all the sight-seeing on the way up, that little room was all they needed. Jazzer asks how things have been at home and Tracy wonders where Brad is; according to Neil he is out just now but has been a pleasure to have around. And Dad? asks Tracy. Susan says she should finish eating.

Helen is now recounting her feelings in the hospital car park: her mind kept zoning out. Being there so physically close to him, and then when he broke down she felt she ought to comfort him... Kirsty is firm that she doesn't owe him anything, and Helen says 'no' but at once continues, about him pummelling the doctor with questions in just the way he used to with her, belittling her at the same time as forcing her to answer him. Kirsty murmurs that he's not changed. Helen wanted to stand up and shout and tell the doctor she's nothing to do with him any more, and then when he cornered her she said it, 'months, you've only got months left to live', and that was the first time he stopped to draw breath... and just for that moment Helen did feel sorry for him. Because you're you, Kirsty responds, and when Helen says 'gullible' tells her no, human; Helen sweeps on: when he started crying in the car park she tried to keep their bodies from touching, she just put an arm around him, so stiff, but he pushed his head into the crook of her neck like... 'Oh, Helen,' croons Kirsty sympathetically. Helen felt his breath on her skin again after so long; he cried, and she just wanted to be sick. She was back in a place she didn't want to be, doing something she didn't want to do. She starts to sob and breathe heavily, asking whether she is back at square one again, and Kirsty comforts her by explaining that Rob is just a man, and what is happening to him proves it: she's not back at square one, she's not playing his game any more. She was being human, showing her humanity, and that's what proves how strong she is, and nothing like him.

Having been to have his cast off and be shown some exercises to do, Jazzer reckons he'll be back at work next week; he asks Neil how it's going over there. Busy, says Neil. Jazzer has heard from Brad that he is no longer sharing with George; yes, George went back to Little Grange after they had to let him go, Neil tells him. Jazzer can't believe he'd be so stupid: what an idiot. Neil says it's been a tough time for all of them, horrible, and Susan is still quite upset with him, so best not to say anything. It was one of the hardest things he's ever had to do, not to mention having the rest of the family think the worst of him. Jazzer entirely sympathises: Neil had no choice. George broke the rules, and you can't mess with bio-security, especially after what Berrow went through a while back. End of. Neil is grateful: Jazzer doesn't know how nice it is to hear that.

The whole business has been being recounted to Tracy by Susan: Emma was fuming and hasn't been round since. Tracy is unsympathetic; this is George they're talking about. Susan claims he is misunderstood, and more sensitive than he lets on. However, in the face of what is clearly complete lack of interest Susan decides she hasn't got the energy to discuss it any more. Would Tracy like Susan to sort a date for her to actually get married? Tracy declines the offer, and then thanks her for cleaning up her house before she came home; Susan tells her that having only one pair of hands, she didn't do it, so Tracy assumes Chelsea must have given it a quick once-over before she left, which just makes Susan grumble about Ambridge View needing to be cleaned after Bert has been there. She complains that Bert keeps leaving his socks tucked under the sofa, or at the bottom of the stairs, and about the smell he leaves in the bathroom; Tracy really doesn't need telling about Bert, since she lives with him all the time. Neil hasn't had a chance at the telly since Bert has been there, and he does love the repeats of Keeping Up Appearances; Tracy suggests just wiggling a sausage under Bert's nose: he'll follow cooked meat anywhere.

As the two women load the car with the accoutrements for two babies' first birthday party Helen says that now they know the seizure had nothing to do with Lee, he is so relieved; she then apologises to Kirsty for blubbering all over her, which Kirsty makes light of. Helen still has to get presents for the twins; giant stuffed toys, says Kirsty, and when Helen goes shopping Kirsty would like to go with her to grab a few bits for her mini-break. She feels bad going abroad when the weather's so nice at home: look at that view. Helen gloomily remarks that everything gets cloudy with Rob looking over her shoulder; Kirsty comments that's for good reason – but not for long this time. Helen says that part of her feels relieved, but she then wants to know whether she ought to feel guilty for being relieved. Kirsty assures her that she needn't; Helen invites her over on Wednesday to see if there is anything she needs which Helen might have, which Kirsty rightly interprets as being about Helen, saying firmly that she does not owe That Man anything. She will come over; they agree, emphatically, then Kirsty says perhaps she ought to postpone this Prague trip with Erik: Helen needs her in Ambridge, just in case, but Helen denies the need: there is nothing for either of them to do, and Rob isn't part of her life any more. Kirsty is to go on her cheeky little mini-break, and when she gets back Helen will be there to hear all the details. 'Really?' asks Kirsty; 'Absolutely,' affirms Helen.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 17th July, 2023

Two men get the brush-off; in each case, it is obviously a woman's fault! (even if she has nothing to do with their problem).

Characters: Tony, Helen, Miles, George, Emma, Tony
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

There is a labour shortage at Bridge Farm and Tony has rung Helen to ask her to do a shift at the shop so he can help Tom with harvesting the veg, and he though she was meant to be in the dairy all day. Distracted Helen babbles about having nipped out 'to get a few last things for the twins' birthday.' Tony can't see the point of all this fuss for a birthday they won't even remember, and Helen promises to get back to cover his shift. Immediately after Tony has rung off, Miles calls to her; she tells him she hasn't got long and wants to get this over quickly.

At the tea-room George is theoretically being helpful to Emma; she thinks it's a brilliant idea to ask Tony if there's any work going on the farm. He wants her to ask on his behalf, but she is busy and tells him it's good to be assertive: he has so much to offer and Tony's about the nicest person he could ask. He objects that this is what everyone says about Grandad, and look what happened there. Emma mutters that Neil knows exactly how she feels about that, but tells George to think positive, because good things come to positive thinkers – like him, if he gets his skates on and goes and asks Tony.

Miles is trying to pump Helen for any information she will give him; Rob has told him his condition has been deemed inoperable, but not that he has only months, just saying that they are wrong and don't know what they are doing. He tells Helen that Rob is making no sense, as if he were a child again putting his fingers into his ears and refusing to listen. How are they supposed to tell their father, so soon after losing their mother? He'll be in pieces. The hospital are not being forthcoming, and Miles didn't know who else to speak to. Helen tells him that now she has answered his questions he knows as much as she does, but Miles hasn't finished. He has felt guilty about being away; knowing that she was there with Rob at the hospital, someone was there: it helped. She prepares to stand up and leave, and Miles tells her she can't go: his brother needs help! He can't accept what's happened, he's reeling from the diagnosis, they all are. Helen says that she understands, and Miles is relieved: that's why he called her, she understands, she knows Rob. Helen protests, but he ignores her and goes on talking as if she will help Rob. Helen tells him that it's all a question for Rob's doctors, and when he tells her that Rob is not engaging with them and he's running out of time as they speak, with Miles not knowing what to do, she tells him that after they let it settle down for a bit he, and their father, and Rob will find a way through. It would be easier with her help, he pleads, but she is firm that there is nothing more she can do. He talks to her in a way which makes it clear he has no idea about what she went through: 'a difficult time at the end' and 'had your challenges' but surely this is bigger than all that? He asks her just to sit down and hear him out, for Rob's sake.

The interview with Tony doesn't go well; Tony simply doesn't want to employ George. George tries every wheedle he can think of, but Tony is not going to give way: George's reputation has preceded him and the last thing Tony needs at Bridge Farm is someone who is a bit of a handful, as George was at Berrow. George asks who has been saying this about him? Was it Hannah? Tony tells him he is not playing that game: the point is that he isn't tolerating a bad attitude on Bridge Farm and nor is anyone else. George tries promises, and tries harking back to the filming he did for Bridge Farm before, then waxes lyrical offering to do more for the website; Tony seems to waver but in the end remains firm: he'll let George know if anything comes up. George goes on trying: he promises that Tony would not regret it if he hired him, and Tony, showing his teeth at last, says that no, he wouldn't, because it would be a strictly one-strike-and-you're-out policy. At the moment they are doing OK without cover; he'll let George know if anything changes.

Miles just can't believe Helen is 'being like this'; it is someone's life, and he can't believe she can be so cold. She points out that he is a grown man who knows what divorce is, and, as far as she is concerned, his brother's diagnosis is his family's problem, not hers. He argues that she and Rob shared a life together and it's got to mean something. She comes back with having gone to the hospital and having come to meet him today at his request: she has already gone above and beyond. At this he starts to say angrily that she really is – and stops himself in mid-sentence, then says Rob always said she was cold. She has had enough, and stands up to leave: he asks whether whatever may have been between them she doesn't think she owes Rob this? She stabbed him! She tells him he has no idea, and when he asks who, whatever the arguments, attacks someone with a knife, tells him harshly, 'a woman who is handed a knife by a man encouraging her to kill herself, and threatening her son.' Miles, clearly taken aback, stammers 'Rob's... not...' Helen has listened for long enough. He is so far from the truth it's not worth her breath. Her marriage to his brother was not 'challenging' or 'difficult': the word he's looking for is 'abusive'. 'Torture.' She leaves saying 'Please don't contact me again.'

According to Emma, George deserves a chocolate brownie for asking Tony for a job. She puts the best possible interpretation on Tony not having offered George work, telling him that he must focus on the positive of having been told Tony would let him know if he was needed, but George is focussed on his suspicion that Hannah is behind it: she must have told Johnny and Johnny grassed him up to Tony. Emma asks whether Tony said that and George tells her that he didn't have to; George just knows 'because'. Tony was expecting him to mess up; he looked at him 'like he wouldn't touch him with a bargepole'. All because of that cow Hannah. Emma tells him not to worry about her, just concentrate on the future. She's sure Tony will have a think and be in touch soon, and if not she's sure there's loads of other places they can try. She just can't think of any off the top of her head.

As Helen is about to get into her car Miles approaches her again, claiming to have been confused and desperate: he's sorry, but it isn't just about her and Rob, it's about Jack too. Miles understands she doesn't like his brother, and he used the wrong words about their marriage, he gets it, but he won't, he doesn't see Rob the way she does, he's never seen him like that – 'Well lucky you,' interjects Helen ­– and he's dying. That's not her fault, Helen reminds him, but he asks that she lets Rob see his son, lets his son see him. Helen refuses, and Miles threatens that she is going to regret it; she tells him that what she regrets is the day Rob walked into their lives, and when Miles argues further, tells him that it is in the hands of the courts. He suggests that once the courts know Rob's on borrowed time they'll be more interested in his son meeting him, doesn't she think? Losing her composure, she pleads that Jack has a good life, and asks him not to do this: Jack is too young. Miles says he won't be young forever: one day he'll be grown up and he'll ask her why she didn't let him meet his father when she knew it was his only chance to. What is she going to say to him then, he asks, ending the question with Rob's characteristic 'hm?' Just think about it; that's all Miles is asking. After Rob, Jack is all Miles and his father will have left of him. Helen asserts that this changes nothing, gets into her car and slams the door.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 18th July, 2023

Emma makes a fool of herself, Tom puts his foot in it, and Tony goes off the deep end.

Characters: Neil, Hannah, Emma, Tony, Tom, Pat
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The rota at Berrow is being considered by Neil: maybe part-time Bill can cover for Jodie tomorrow in spite of not wanting any more hours, or perhaps Jazzer can do a few hours' cover this week? Then he gets an unwelcome message saying Martyn will be coming in 'tomorrow if not today': he assumes Martyn is miffed about George. Hannah is incredulous: even after knowing what George did? Anyhow, if Martyn wants George back at Berrow he's going to have to do without her, but Neil reckons it won't come to that: he just wants to throw his toys out of the pram. He offers to make tea, but Hannah feels it will take more than tea to get through the day: she needs her breakfast and a good strong cup of coffee. She offers to get Neil coffee when she nips over to the tea-room, since their coffee machine is not working. He thanks her.

As a completely disinterested act and not bribery at all, no, really, Emma has brought Tony (free) a croissant and a cappuccino. She tells him she has noticed they all seem really up against it with Johnny away, and he perceptively asks 'Could this be about George?' She admits that it is, and sets out to talk him into employing her son by spinning a sob story, and, when Tony suggests that it must have been something bad that George did for Neil to let him go, claims that George made a mistake at Berrow and it could have gone either way: Neil felt keeping George on would look a bit like being soft on his own grandson. [What a liar she is. Chris.] She claims there is a lot of politics with a small p at Berrow these days and George is too young to know how to handle it. When Tony continues dubious about George's attitude she asks point-blank whether someone has said something to him, which Tony denies, though he adds that perhaps he heard that George had a tongue on him but that's all. Emma dismisses that as being the same as all teenagers, and by cajoling some more persuades Tony to give George 'one chance': George is to turn up tomorrow at seven sharp. Tony can't promise full days; they'll have to see how they go. Emma is grovellingly grateful, but Tony warns her that if there are any hiccoughs George will have to go: no second chances, they can't afford them at the minute.

On the phone, Hannah wants Neil to make up his mind what he wants from the tea-room; he says 'just a coffee' and she suggests a bakewell; he agrees to that too. Emma calls her to be served and is short with her as she takes her order for a cappuccino, a flat white (large) and two bakewells (£12.45 all told); when she mentions that she has to get back Emma snappily remarks that it's lucky for some, and Hannah asks if there is a problem here, to which Emma replies no, should there be? Hannah realises this is how Emma is going to be now, and Emma responds that if Hannah wants her to be quick she'd better wait over there; Hannah groans 'I give up'.

As he eats his croissant Tony is now explaining to Tom that he has agreed to employ George; Tom agrees they need all the help they can get but is dubious because, well, it is George Grundy. Pat then comes in, though Helen is not yet there; she's worried about her daughter with all that is going on. Tony groans, and Tom remarks that Helen did say she had something to tell them; she didn't say what. They hear her at the door, and Pat says urgently that Tony is not to say anything to her about being late; Tony says indignantly that he wasn't going to.

Emma has decided to pursue Hannah as she leaves the tea-room in order to tell her she can take her tip and shove it ... right back in her purse. Hannah mildly points out it was from Neil anyway, but Emma says he can keep it then. She then tells Hannah she doesn't need a tip from a woman who lost her son his job [she has just been told it was from Neil. Chris] and then bad-mouthed him round the village, which somewhat baffles Hannah. Emma continues to assert that Hannah has been spreading lies about George to Johnny [is Johnny the whole village now? Gosh. Chris]. Hannah admits she may have told Johnny what happened at Berrow, which leads Emma to asks if she enjoyed bad-mouthing a child; she quite reasonably tells Emma that George is eighteen. Emma wants to know why Hannah has it in for a teenager and Hannah, still being reasonable, says she hasn't, it's quite the opposite. Emma ignores this because she is busy telling her that reputation is everything round here, especially for a kid like George, to which Hannah, starting to show her exasperation, retorts that in that case he should take better care of it. Emma goes on with accusations about muck-spreading and even Tony hesitating to employ George, and he's known him since he was born; this is an opportunity Hannah can't resist, and she remarks that speaks for itself. Emma, infuriated, asks what is her problem with him, and Hannah says that the problem is his, with her: Tony will probably be OK, it's Pat and Helen she'd worry about. Emma asks what that's supposed to mean, and Hannah pulls no further punches as she explains that Emma's son was a good worker – he got distracted easily but if you held him by the hand and kept a good eye he'd do all right – but his attitude is another story. And he had a problem with her from the word go. When Emma says 'rubbish' Hannah suggests she could ask her dad, or on second thoughts she could ask George: what's the betting that he'd come out with a load of misogynistic garbage. Emma claims it's because Hannah bullied him; Hannah tells her that her son has a problem with women: he played nice with everyone at Berrow but with her and Jodie he had an issue from the off. Emma ignores this and spits out her warning: stop spreading rumours about her son! Hannah protests that Emma must see it, but Emma is not stopping: she's only doing to say this once: if she catches Hannah spreading rumours about her son again, she's going to... 'You're going to what?' asks Hannah, interested. Emma retreats, shouting 'Just stop!' repeatedly.

The Truth About Rob has clearly been revealed; though Tom, Pat and Tony are talking about Fallon's lease and not being prepared to set it at eight years, and Pat wants to make it a clear 'no' or offer an alternative, their minds are clearly on other things, and eventually Tom asks whether they are going to talk about what Helen said this morning. Pat suggests there's not much to say, which surprises Tom: really? Nothing to say about Rob Titchener dying? She is shocked by his directness, and Tony tells him to stop right there. He tries to turn the conversation to the orders, while Pat mutters about barely being able to believe that Miles pressured Helen to help them to cope. Tom reckons the highlight of the whole thing is that Rob's on his way out, Tony is upset at the use of the word 'highlight', and Pat says it is still the end of a life; all Tom is saying, he tells them, is it couldn't have happened to a nicer person. Tony hits his knee against something and Pat says acidly that she thinks they ought to keep such sentiments to themselves now; when Tom asks her why she tells him that she feels as if they are sitting on a house of cards and one wrong move could bring it all tumbling down. Tom says that's the result of the abuse: the guy's just bad news even when it's good news. Tony, clearly frayed, wants to leave it and get the boxes packed. Tom can't let it alone: he says that Helen seemed shocked but she's not there now and they should be able to discuss it openly at least once. Tony wants to know, and say what? Pat says they don't even know what it means, Tom says it means Rob's going to die, and Tony shouts his request for them please just to leave it alone for now, then abruptly leaves saying he needs to go and check on the Anguses. Tom can't work out what that was about, and Pat explains that the news has upset them all and he should have known not to push it with Dad. She'll go and see if he's all right; Tom insists on going instead. He assures her she is not to worry: he won't make it worse, and tells her that like it or not, this is good news, and after everything they've been through they should be able to acknowledge it

Accusingly, Tom wants Tony to tell him what's wrong; Tony tells him he'd better go back and get the veg boxes finished, but he says he will when Tony tells him what's bothering him, and immediately starts giving his own view without waiting for Tony to speak. It's karma: the man has got what's coming to him. Tony asks if it's a joke to him, which he indignantly denies, saying that he thinks Rob has got his comeuppance. Tony disagrees: is this a fitting end to the man who tormented Tom's sister, nurses holding his hand, morphine to stop the pain? He'll be buried in months and nobody will know what he did to Helen, to the kids. He should be dragged over the coals for what he's done, recognised publicly for each crime so that when he's gone everyone will know what she endured, what he did. Tom doesn't care how he goes: the important thing is that he's out of her life for good. He knows he made a huge mistake by going to see him, and he knows Tony never takes him seriously on these matters, but he's a dad now: he gets it. Does Tony think that if anyone did that to his daughters... Tony is outraged. How dare he! Tom says he is just torturing himself, to which Tony replies they'll talk about torture in a few years if he is still around: Tom's daughters are barely a year old, does he honestly think he knows what it's like to watch your grown-up daughter be abused by a manipulative animal like him? To watch her disappear under his shadow? Go to prison? Have a child in prison? This is not the way he's meant to go: it's too easy. He raped Tony's child. 'Just leave me alone!' Tony shouts, and moves away with Tom following him trying to say he is sorry.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 19th July, 2023

Kirsty feels guilty for taking a break; Neil wants one.

Characters: Kirsty, Helen,Will, George, Neil, Jazzer
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Kirsty is trying on a dress which she plans to wear in Prague; it has a scoop back, which requires a strapless bra. Helen reassures her that she looks lovely and after they have waxed lyrical about Prague says she'd do anything to escape for a few days; Kirsty promptly invites her to go with her and Erik. Helen laughs the idea to scorn and offers sun-hats for the trip. She has told the family about Rob and seems unsurprised by their lack of reaction: she thinks that like her and Kirsty, they were numbed by it all. 'The family' does not include the boys, whom she does not want told yet: she has no idea what to say to them, or even whether to say anything at all; what Miles said was right. She thought she was safe with Lee and her boys, but she is just where she was before. Kirsty breaks in and tells her she has got herself and her boys out of it and she has found love with Lee, and points out the life she has now; no sooner does she pause than Helen asks what Jack will say to her when he's older, to which Kirsty responds that neither Rob nor Miles has the right to put that on her, but Helen goes on worrying: does Jack have a right to see his father before Rob dies, or does he have a right to be protected from him? Kirsty comes down firmly in favour of 'protected', but Helen wants to know what if Jack doesn't see it that way. Kirsty says that doesn't matter: Helen knows what Rob's like and of course her instinct is to protect jack, and if Jack asks when he grows up then she can tell him exactly that: she was protecting him. From his own father, moans Helen, and Lee says the same, so she shouldn't feel pressured by Miles; it is Kirsty's opinion that Lee is right, and that clearly Miles has no idea what Rob is really like. Helen just wishes she could get Miles' words out of her head.

Bale-tossing practice is not going well: Will has timed George, three minutes twelve. George doesn't believe it and Will tells him that he's been moaning since he started and that's not the right attitude for preparing for a competition. George at once blames Will for not tossing the bales to him right and says Ned would to it better; Will rejoins that George isn't focussing, and wants to know what's on his mind. When George denies that anything is wrong Will asks what he's in a strop about then, and George flounces off leaving Will to clear the bales.

Jazzer has been at work since six and Neil is delighted to see him. He denies he had to get out of the house and admits they could do with the money, then asks how his 'girls and boys' are doing in the heat; he's been thinking they could do with a wallow. He could do it in a jiffy with a digger; Neil forbids him to risk his ankle, being on strict instructions from Martyn Gibson not to push Jazzer too far too soon, and when Jazzer expresses surprise to learn that Martyn Gibson was being so considerate Neil laughs and reports Gibson as saying that Jazzer might be conscientious but that doesn't mean he won't sue them if his ankle gets hurt. Jazzer is not surprised that the guy has not grown a soul after all. Neil however proposes to keep him on light work for the rest of the week and see how his ankle is doing. Jazzer says he can handle the troughs and suggests Neil goes and deals with the wallow; Neil reckons he'll do that after he's seen Martyn Gibson. Who is due in today after having been sidetracked yesterday; he wanted George back, but fingers crossed he'll get sidetracked on that too.

Kirsty has got all the clothes Helen is lending her, and feels bad about taking the things and not Helen; Helen tells her not to feel bad, and it's not as if she's going to wear them in the dairy. Helen has got through to Dominic's secretary, who told her he will be abroad for another couple of days; she can't really ask someone else because it's best to stick with her own solicitor who knows the case. She just wants someone to tell her whether Rob's illness will make any difference to the family court. Kirsty wishes there were something she could do, and is told that there is: she can enjoy herself in Prague, then come back and tell Helen all about it. In the meantime, Helen will just have to keep treading water.

Will has found George monotonously throwing a ball against a wall; Will has been working at jobs for the fête since George ran off leaving him to clear up the bales, and the thinks he and George should talk. George is surly about the idea and Will wants to know if he is still upset about the business at Berrow, then oh-so-tactfully reminds him that it's not every day you get fired by your grandad: thanks for the reminder, snarls George. Will suggests that sometimes you just have to draw a line under stuff and let it be; George wants to know how he is supposed to do that when Hannah's bad-mouthing him? She was a bully the whole time he was working there, she never liked him, and even though she'd been a cow to Neil in the past he still took her side and fired George. Will asks whether George told anyone she was bullying him, and George retorts, 'Like anyone would believe me over her!' As Will expostulates, George goes on to his grievance that when he went to ask Tony for work Tony didn't offer it to him immediately and said he'd heard that he'd been trouble at Berrow [which is not what Tony said. Chris] and sent him packing. He did offer him work the following day but they needed workers and Tony would have offered it to him at once if it weren't for Hannah. He knows it was her. She's got it in for him. Will wants to know why, but George ignores the question to whinge that she cost him his job and now she's telling everyone not to hire him. Everyone believes her because she plays the innocent; only he knows the truth, only he can save America knows what she's really like! Will tells him to calm down, and he starts shouting instead, saying that he still gets treated like a child and he's eighteen; Will remembers what it was like at his age, not a kid but not an ay-dult [sic] either, and George [sounding about six. Chris] says that he is, and then complains that Martyn Gibson doesn't seem bothered about what happened, probably because if his own grandad would fire him what the hell's left to say? Will sharply tells him to lay off his grandad, who would never have done it if he didn't think it was the right thing. Maybe Will could have a talk with him and explain how upset George is; tearfully, George denies he is upset: anyhow, he has other work and doesn't want to go back, and Neil is hardly likely to listen with Hannah filling his ears. Will determines to mention that as well.

According to Jazzer Neil has 'put Martyn Gibson back in his box'; with Jazzer back at work, says Neil, the case for George was weak at best, and after Hannah put her foot down… Jazzer is sure the lad will find work elsewhere, but Neil doesn't reply because Will arrives. [Biosecurity apparently doesn't stop someone who lives on a farm where pigs are kept from wandering in to Berrow to have a chat with someone working there. Chris] Jazzer makes himself scarce, and Neil braces himself for another parent presenting George's grievances. Will starts telling Neil how cut up George is and how he loved working at Berrow, but Neil interrupts him to say that anyone who did what George did would have been treated the same. Will doesn't try to argue that George was not wrong; he argues that he is sorry, and he regrets it, honest. Neil says 'Does he. Really.' and when Will says 'of course he does' Neil unanswerably asks, 'So where is he then?' then grunts and comments 'That boy is too clever not to know that what he did is out of order.' Will is dubious: surely Neil doesn't think George did it on purpose? Neil doesn't know why he did it, only George knows that. Will then asks, what about Hannah? George is quite upset about her and says she bullied him. Neil is exasperated; he tells Will curtly that Hannah did not bully George. Will points out that George said she did and Neil explodes: he's lying, like he lied to Neil's face about that sausage roll. Does Will think Neil would let any of the staff at Berrow bully his own grandson under his nose? It was the other way round. Yes, Neil knows what Hannah can be like, but he watched that boy push her to the limit with his attitude. He had several warnings about it too; this is news to William, who didn't know and just wanted to smooth things over. Neil says bitterly that none of them know, but he's still had Susan, and Ed, and Emma, and now Will, come complaining to him when it's George that needs a closer look. Will doesn't understand what he means, and Neil tells him: breaking the rules and then lying to your bosses, attitude issues even after formal warnings, and that's just what he's been up to at Berrow. That boy worries Neil: he's going in one direction fast, and it doesn't lead to anywhere good. If everyone's really concerned about him, maybe they should stop having a go at Neil and sort George out, now, before he gets really out of hand.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 20th July, 2023

Fallon loses patience and George goes his rope.

Characters: Emma, Fallon, Will, Ed, Emma, George
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The twins' birthday cake is finished and Emma and Fallon are pleased with it and themselves; Harrison, when he comes in, is impressed. Fallon is well aware it's not about the one-year-olds, it's about the parents, and this time it's all about impressing the parents. Emma goes off home, and Harrison breaks it to Fallon that he's sure Tom said 'cakes' on the phone just now. She's horrified: does he mean they're expecting two? Would it have killed them to give her one phone call and talk it through instead of a dozen mixed messages from different people? As she becomes increasingly shrill and infuriated he begs her to calm down, which of course doesn't help. This was supposed to be the clincher, to quash any doubts about leasing her the tea-room. Harrison tries to reassure her, that his department has not yet made the decision about him going part-time and he can withdraw, but that only makes her scream 'no!' She's given the Archers all the reasons that her new lease would benefit them all: why the hell are they dragging their feet? Harrison suggests they go over and deliver the cake, and bets Tom won't even mention he was expecting two when he sees the size of it, but Fallon determines to make another. She's going to impress those Archers with her cakes, plural, if it's the last thing she does.

Will is making his case to Ed and Emma for having a talk with George. They've all seen how upset George has been since he was fired, and he was really cut up about Hannah saying things behind his back. Emma says she's called her out on it so they don't need to worry about that; Will asks what Hannah said and is told, 'exactly what George said she would: she laid it all at his door'. She's an angel and he's the devil incarnate, apparently; Ed reminds her that's not all, because she did say that... Emma tells he she knows, she was there. She went on about him having a problem with women, said he didn't take her seriously... Or Jodie, adds Ed, to be shut up again. Hannah would pull anything out of the bag to save herself from all the mud-flinging. Will says that he went to see Neil; Emma grumbles that she's had a word with him, and Ed says it seems like they all have, but Will goes on that after speaking to Neil, he's not so sure Hannah was bullying George, and he's not sure George didn't have an attitude problem. Ed remarks that George doesn't mince his words. Emma wants to know whether Ed is saying it is all George's doing, and Ed points out that Berrow is just the latest in a line of 'situations' he's got himself into; Emma challenges this and he reminds her about the vaping and breaking into Grey Gables, getting Brad to lie to the police... Will agrees that lying's a bit of a theme; he lied to Oliver about Caroline's bench and to Neil about the sausage roll, Ed adds. He's got a chance to prove himself to Tony now, Emma hopes, but Ed snorts and says that's if he can hold his tongue. Emma remembers that Tony did say it was one strike and he's out, but she didn't tell George that. Ed wants to know why not, but Will says it's fine because it's their job to make sure he doesn't mess up with Tony, to make sure he realises that what happened to Berrow and all the rest can't go on, and that things have consequences, bad ones for him. Good luck with that! exclaims Ed, which doesn't please Emma. Ed means that he can't make head nor tail of George and whatever Ed says is wrong and he either refuses to do anything he's told or walks out of the room. Emma tells him nastily that maybe if he worked on his tone George might stick around to listen. Hastily, Will says they all just want the best for him, and if he's doing stuff that damages him they should try to help, now, before he scuppers himself for life.

Harrison comes in and tells Fallon she won't believe what's just happened; she turns off the electric beater in order for him to hear that if Tom an Natasha want a third cake she's shutting up shop and emigrating to somewhere hot where there are no children or cakes – or husbands interrupting her when she's covered in butter-cream, adds Harrison, which cheers her up. He tells her that he likes his wife with hundreds and thousands in her ear, and she wants to know if it's a hundred or a thousand. She decides she needs a break, and he says that she can pay attention to her husband's non-cake-based plight for five minutes: it's Lynda Snell. Fallon tells him she can't hear him: she has hundreds and thousands in her ear; he carries on anyway. Lynda is still going on about a coup; she and Joy are convinced the Grundy's have 'a spurious scheme' to commandeer the Ambridge Summer Fête. They have a laugh at Lynda's expense, and Harrison asks to try the butter-cream: there's a bit on Fallon's elbow doing nothing. After shrieking, Fallon asks what Lynda wants Harrison to do about it, and Harrison says Lynda might have a point: apparently all her original ideas have been thrown out and Joy has no idea what has replaced them. Though he feels Fallon is not taking this seriously, she points out that, worst-case scenario, the Grundys are organising the fête: if there's a fête she really doesn't see there's a problem. That's what Harrison said, but Lynda feels otherwise. She asked about details like insurance and permissions for whatever Eddie is up to; Fallon really doesn't care. She thinks she's going to have to quit the committee. She doesn't have time to get involved, and she doesn't want everyone bending her ear if the Grundys make a mess of it. She recommends Harrison to advise Lynda to let the Grundys have a tilt at doing it, and sit back. If it's a complete disaster everyone will know who to blame.

When George comes in to find Will with Ed and Emma he is instantly suspicious and declines to sit down. He asks if Will saw Grandad; Will says yes, and tells him what Neil said about his treatment of Hannah and general behaviour at Berrow. George is disgusted that his version of events is not being unquestioningly accepted; he says it's a stitch-up, and denies everything Neil has said. Ed remarks that bio-security at an operation like Berrow is no small thing, and George is sarcastic about being told that; when Emma remonstrates with him he shouts that she has no idea what it's like to be him. Ed, undeflected, tells him that anyone who crosses that line, accidentally or otherwise, is out the door; it wasn't a personal attack. George tells them they don't know because they never worked there; it's him that got chucked out, because he's him. Will suggests that he calm down because they're just talking; are they? asks George offensively. More like the three of them stirring the pot, ready to have a go the minute he walked through the door. Emma tells him that's not what's going on; Ed says he told them it wouldn't work, and she reprimands Ed sharply. She tells George to sit himself down: they want to see if they can help.

Fallon has saved Harrison some buttercream. Harrison has rung Lynda and tendered Fallon's resignation diplomatically, and told Lynda about letting the Grundys dig themselves a hole; she thought that was a very good idea; in fact Harrison has not seen that look on her face since she played the evil fairy in Sleeping Beauty. [It must have been very striking indeed if he could see it over the phone. Chris] He tells Fallon she is a very sly fox.

It seems George is now smirking, since Emma asks him what he is smiling at. You lot, is his answer. Why did he ever think they could sort anything out for him? He bets Will caved the moment Neil opened his mouth and agreed he's the bad one and everyone else is an angel. Will protests, and Emma says that's not fair and it's untrue: she, Ed and his dad have all stuck up for him. And what good did it do, demands George. Ed tells him that it got him the job at Bridge Farm. Emma hisses 'Ed' at him, but he carries on anyway: George's mother went and softened Tony up with coffee and cake and assured him that George would behave, that's when he got the job. Emma says that's not how it was, but Will softly tells her that George needs to hear it. She tries unconvincingly to present a different story about just giving Tony a little nudge when he had already nearly made up his mind; George sneers that she cried, more like. Does George think Tony would take a worker on for the sake of a pastry, Emma continues, ignoring his remark. Ed puts in that everyone, even Neil and Hannah, agrees that George is a solid worker when he puts his mind to it. Will adds that it's just when he loses focus. George rages that anyone would think that having three parents would be a bonus, but not when he's got three idiots at the steering wheel of his life. Will tells him he needs to calm down, which gives George the opening to say like him, so laid back he's about to fall over... Emma tries to curb him, and he tells them they are pathetic, the lot of them; how did he think his dad could convince his grandad to treat him fairly when he couldn't even get his wife back when she was shagging his brother behind his back? Ed and Emma both express outrage at this, and he tells them people have been talking about their love triangle since he was at school. And they think he's an embarrassment? Will tells him no-one said that, and Emma decides this conversation was a bad idea; George rounds on her, and wants to know why, is them all laying into him fine and they can't take the truth themselves? What gives any of them the right to lecture him? Will growls that he is crossing a line, and he rants, 'Who's to stop me? You, if you ever stop pining after Nic, even though let's be honest, she wasn't all you make her out to be?" Emma protests at this, and Ed tells him menacingly to get out: he won't have him speaking to his dad like that. George is undeterred: Ed can't tell him what to do. When Ed was his age he was up to his eyeballs in drink, and drugs, and all the wrong stuff: is that what Emma liked about him? Emma shrieks that she means it, George, he's to stop now; he ripostes that if he didn't listen to those two losers what makes her think he'd listen to the interfering slut that shagged them both? Both men shout his name at this, and he finishes 'couldn't make her mind up which one to kiss!' Emma repeats that she said stop, and slaps him. He grunts, stops, and she asks who he is; just wanted to talk, did they, he says, and walks out. Emma says 'Ed, don't. Please. Don't.' [We are left to wonder whether he tried to comfort her, or looked as if he might follow George to deliver a well-earned hiding. Chris]

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 21st July, 2023

The birthday party suffers an inevitable cake-wreck, and Tony gets consoled, but no-one is actually sick.

Characters: Pat, Helen, Tom, Fallon, Harrison, Tony
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The decorations Helen has made for the twins' party have been approved by Natasha, who is busy showing the balloon artist where he is to set up; Pat says it is the most organised kids' party she's ever been to. Tom accepts the accolade but says they've had a lot of help, then shouts to unspecified 'kids' that the bouncy castle is up and running. He adds that Henry[12. Gus] and Jack are testing it out and may not let anyone else on. Helen asks where Tony is, and Pat tells her he's putting out extra chairs in the shade. He's still not talking to Tom, but Tom is sure it will be OK. Helen says she is sorry [which may be some sort of record. Chris] but Tom of course immediately tells her not to be. Pat goes to stick up another banner. Helen goes on berating herself so nobody else can: she threw a spanner in the works of all the colour and joy, and Tom says no-one there has anything to be sorry for: he just wishes everyone would stop using the news as a stick to bash themselves with. Helen tells him to stop worrying about her and enjoy his girls' party; he congratulates her on the decorations, then sees Fallon arriving with the cakes.

The decorations are also being praised by Fallon and Harrison, and when Tony comes over he offers to carry one of the cakes, which he extols while remarking they are rather big: he would have thought just one would have sufficed. Fallon manages not to explode and says quite mildly that she thinks Tom and Natasha wanted one apiece for the girls; Pat then comes over and eulogises the cakes, then remarks that they are quite big, and that she would have thought one would have done for Nova and Seren both. Harrison steps in and defuses Fallon by saying 'If they can't have a cake each on their first birthday, eh?' and everyone laughs. At this point the inevitable happens: some excited children with water-guns cause Tony to drop the cake he is carrying. [This happens to cakes in Ambridge; Will and Nic's wedding-cake which had to be remade overnight, too. Chris.] Fallon gasps.

Both Seren and Nova now have their names on the surviving cake, thanks to quick work by Fallon. Pat calls her a super-star, apparently with no ironic intent, and apologises to her about all the work she'd put in being wasted; Fallon manages to tell her not to mention it. Harrison asks whether Tony is OK, and is told he went up to change his shirt and Pat will go and check on him. After she is gone Fallon is bitter about her checking on Butterfingers, don't worry about Fallon, and Harrison does his best to comfort her. That cake kept her up half the night; Harrison points out that at least they saw it before it hit the deck, but Fallon mourns that Natasha and Tom didn't. They will see the remaining one, he says consolingly, and if she hadn't made a second cake, where would things be now? Down-beat Fallon asks sarcastically about it being the Lord working in mysterious ways, which Harrison agrees does fit the scenario; she then says reluctantly that someone had better clear up the cake, but when Harrison looks he sees that it fell on the play-mat and the kids are having a ball with it. She is to stop worrying and recognise a silver lining when she sees one.

Tony has decided he just wants to stay out of the way upstairs, for all Pat's attempts to cheer him up. He was soaked and covered in icing, and has no clean shirt, and he feels terrible about ruining Fallon's birthday cake. He then, for no apparent reason, asks how Helen is; she's hanging in there, says Pat, and waiting to hear from the solicitor. She then tries to help Tony put on a clean shirt she has found, and irritates him into asking her sharply just to leave him alone – for which he apologises. She goes away, calling back to ask him to come downstairs for their children's sake: they've put a lot of effort into the day.

An encounter between Tom and Fallon near the bouncy Princess-themed castle [i.e. it's pink. Chris] goes better than might have been expected: he praises the cakes and says Natasha too thinks they were great, says the cake-play on the mat pleased the children who rolled in it, and Natasha is happy about the twins' essential costume change because they have about four outfits they wanted them to wear. Fallon mentions that they are full of silver linings today, given that it's harvest and they are too busy to return her messages, then backs down a little and says they must have been busy and the party looks amazing. Tom doesn't even have to prevaricate, just demands that she must have a bounce with him on the castle.

Harrison finds Tony being miserable, makes sympathetic noises, and is told that Rob Titchener is dying with a tumour. He's amazed, and Tony bemoans that everyone seems to think it's good news, to be rid of Him finally. Tony can't seem to digest the fact that That Man is going to die stuffed full of medication to ease the pain, while Tony's daughter endured His torture and went to prison for trying to escape Him. No-one eased her pain; she's the victim and He gets to drift off without a single acknowledgement of even one crime. He hates Him; he hates Him so much it frightens him. He deserves to be punished for each and every thing he did to Tony's family. Harrison finally finds something to say, that hate slowly drains the life out of you bit by bit but it does nothing to Him: He doesn't even know anyone's hating Him. What if he can't let go of it, asks Tony; what if he doesn't want to? Harrison advises that it's likely to fill him up until nothing's left, then tells him to look over there at his wife, kids and grand-kids, all waiting for him to be with them. He can sit there in the shade and hate a man who isn't even thinking about him, or he can come and join the people he loves and celebrate the next generation of Archers.

Tom is looking for bin-bags in the kitchen, and Tony is able to tell him where they are. Tom asks if he is coming out to see the cake being cut, and is glad to be told he is. Tony apologises about the cake and offers to pay for it, and for having been unreasonable to Tom before. He tells Tom he's a great dad, and Tom immediately replies that it takes one to know one. Helen's phone then rings and Tony answers it while Tom hurries to find her.

Pat comes to find Helen and warn her the cake is going quickly, but Helen puts her off, saying 'in a minute'. What Pat really wants is to find out about the solicitor having rung; Helen tells her that according to Dominic the diagnosis should have no bearing on the court's decision about Jack: legally it doesn't change anything. This is good, and not what Miles was hoping for. When Pat asks, she asserts that she's OK, honestly, and in fact today has been a much-needed distraction; she then calls to Jack to play gently with someone who is 'only little', and then 'Thanks Dad' because Tony has presumably intervened. She and Pat agree that Tony looks better: Pat whispers that she saw him and Tom hugging in the kitchen, what a relief. Tony felt awful about the cake too; but look at him now, comments Helen. She then informs Pat that she plans not to tell the boys about Rob being ill. [And that's going to work as well as not telling them he was back in the country did. Chris.] Pat just agrees, and Helen invites her to look at them playing. They're still only children and don't need to know, what would they do with the information if they did? Pat agrees again, and is glad to see that Helen is trusting her judgement once more. Helen muses that she dreamed this morning abut her and the boys, by the sea: they just played in the sand and it felt like she was there for hours. 'What happened?' Pat asks, and Helen replies, 'Nothing. We played and played in the water and in the sand, and nothing bad happened.' Pat tells her that's lovely, and Helen agrees that it is, isn't it.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 23rd July, 2023

George makes both peace and trouble, while Lee shows some spine.

Characters: Lee, Helen, George, Mia, Henry, Brad
Credited scriptwriter
s: Keri Davies
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

There have been communications from Johnny and Freddie, who seem to be together and are now having fun in Lisbon; Helen shows Lee the pictures she has of them at what may be a stag do. Lee has forgotten to mow the lawn and plans to do it at once; Helen worries that he is not fine and has been out of sorts all weekend: he talks about not having been there for Evie's birthday and a father not being able to see his kids, and Helen suspiciously asks whether this is really about Evie? He was fine on the day, so when he says 'father' does he mean himself, or someone else? Lee tries to get away to mow the grass but she is determined to find out whether it is about Rob. He eventually admits that he's not sure it's right to keep Rob's condition from Jack and Henry. It's a parent separated from his child; Helen angrily says he is seeing it from Rob's point of view.

When he finally gets into the kitchen, yawning, George wants to know what Mia is doing at Grange Farm [um, doesn't she sleep there some of the time? It is her home as much as his. Chris] and she wants to know where he has been sleeping; in his gaming chair, apparently, in spite of having a perfectly good bed on the other side of the yard according to Mia. [And also one in Grange Farmhouse, unless that has been taken away from him. Chris.] He won't go to Little Grange because Emma and Ed can't stand being in the same room with him, and the feeling is mutual; Mia, amused, says he had a row with them, didn't he. Rather than answer that, he tells her Brad isn't there [why would she expect him to be for goodness sake? Chris], and she tells him that if he really must know, she and Kirsty are doing a stall at the fête and today Will is going to help with the signage. She doesn't seem to be planning to see Brad. and George immediately decides there must be something wrong between the two of them, sharply demanding to be told what's happened. When she says 'nothing' he says that's a shame in a rather creepy attempted sympathetic voice, and she tells him not to try to pretend he cares; he swears that he does, and in spite of initial scepticism Mia becomes more convinced when he says they're a perfect couple, both as weird as each other. He wants to know how it went wrong so quick; she doesn't want to talk about it.

Voices and tempers are rising at the Beechwood house, with Lee pointing out that he knows Jack doesn't have a relationship with Rob and like it or not, Rob is Jack's biological father and he's going to die, and possibly quite soon. She'll have to tell the boys eventually. She doesn't see why, and he asserts she can't keep that sort of thing from them: it's complicated enough growing up trying to work out who you are, and if you've never even met your own dad... Helen interrupts to tell him that he's saying he agrees with Miles. He tries to temporise, but she is having none of it, and he says that on this one issue, yes, he thinks Miles might have a point. Not giving them the choice might actually be more damaging long term. Jack could end up really resenting her. In her furious-reasonable voice she snaps that she'll just have to take that chance, won't she. As tempers and voices rise and Helen asserts that Lee does not and never can know Rob, who is utterly toxic, and she knows what is best for her children, Henry quietly asks what they are talking about. Helen wants to know how long he's been there; Henry wants to know what she means by what's good for him and Jack. She stammers, so he asks Lee instead, but before Lee has to try to answer him Helen breaks in to ask whether Henry is ready to go to their shift in the shop. She goes to get her bag and Henry asks Lee again: what was it really? When Lee doesn't answer Henry says crossly that he's not stupid and he wants to know what's going on. Lee does a good job of talking about adults disagreeing sometimes, but Henry is not deflected and wants to know what they were disagreeing about; luckily for Lee, before the inquisition gets too tough Helen drags Henry away.

As Brad comes out of his house to go to the shop George greets him heartily, and in spite of Brad's suspicion persists in his friendly approach and says he will come with him to the shop. Brad is on an errand for Bert, to get Tracy a birthday present and card from him. After some chat about this, Brad asks what George really wants. George says he has come to beat him up for upsetting George's step-sister. Brad essentially tells him to mind his own business, and George, changing his tack, tells him that he likes him, and likes Mia when she's not banging on about the planet, and he has enough grief in his life and doesn't want it for them as well. When asked somewhat pruriently whether Mia has done something, Brad denies that and says it's him; they started really well and then he got worried about what happened with Paige. George seems disappointed. Brad thought Paige really liked him until he saw that message: what if it happens with Mia? So he went quiet on her, accuses George. For a guy who's so smart Brad can be really dumb at times, exclaims George: Mia would never do that to him, she's in bits right now! He's am idiot and she really likes him; he should just stop messing about and go talk to her.

At the shop, Helen is trying to keep Henry distracted by talking about Lynda's history of the fête, which will be on the village website. He is not distracted, and asks her about her and Lee arguing: it was about Rob, wasn't it. What isn't she telling him? She denies that there's anything to tell and repeats the story about Rob being in Britain for his mother's funeral and that's it. Henry is aggrieved that she doesn't trust him, and she assures him it's not a question of trust; he reminds her that she said if he had any questions he should ask them, and she hasn't answered him. He wants to help, and he knows there's something else. George's oily voice interrupts her protestations that there isn't anything, asking if it's OK to do that clip now; a voice-over for the filming he's done of the arable harvest. She refuses to appear on camera. George asks why not, and Helen swiftly interrupts as Henrysays that he knows why not, it's because she... George slowly agrees to just a voice-over then. Henry is left to man the shop while Helen and George go outside to record this.

Mia and Brad are reconciled after explanations about each feeling that the other might not really like them; Mia says Brad is not to tell George, but George is actually right for once. After a diversion into misunderstanding about Paige's rôle in Brad's cold feet, and Mia admitting to a crush on someone nameless who probably didn't even know she existed, they agree that they are back on and they'll try not to screw it up this time.

As Henry is noisily breaking up a pallet George approaches with 'Blimey, I thought a bomb had gone off!' and asks him what the pallet ever did to him. Henry tells him to go away, but George hangs about talking about Henry's mum getting on Henry's wick, and asking what's up: come on, Henry can tell him, he says cajolingly. Henry crossly explains that everyone's treating him like he's an idiot, like he doesn't know that something is going on; they think he can't handle it, or something. George sympathises: he's been there. What Henry has got to remember with parents is you've got to make allowances. They've all got this condition, see: it's quite serious and the worst thing is, it's incurable. They're all completely stupid. Henry giggles. When you're a kid, George continues, they behave like you don't know nothing, keeping things from you, trying to stop you doing stuff; true, Henry agrees. So, says George, if Henry wants a piece of advice: Henry knows best. Never mind what they say, you do what you want to do. Just make sure you don't get caught.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 24th July, 2023

Tracy is baffled, various Grundys at a loss, and Mia touched.

Characters: Brad, Tracy, Emma, Ed, Mia, Will
Credited scriptwriter
s: Keri Davies
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

When Brad gives Tracy a cheery 'good-morning!' she greets him suspiciously; she is holding Ivy's ballet dancer figurine, which she found in the back garden behind a roll of old carpet. He denies all knowledge of how it got there, and she goes on to mention the cushions in the lounge being all in the wrong place, and having heard a lot of bottles being emptied from the recycling bin. She thinks Brad has broken his word to her and held a party while she and Jazzer were away, and feels very let down. When she asks whether George talked him into it and reminds him that he knows that boy is nothing but trouble, he says he knows, and then in fairness adds George can be all right, sometimes. But George, and him, and parties? No way! He's not insane. And anyway if George had been anywhere near, it wouldn't have been one figurine and a few cushions; the house would be a total wreck. Tracy decides it must have been Chelsea then, which Brad also denies; she tells him she just wants to know the truth, and he'll feel better for it.

As Emma calls for him to come back George rushes out (presumably of the caravan) slamming a solid oak door behind him. Emma can't think what do do with him, though Ed knows what he'd like to. She can't bear it, and doesn't know how much more of this she can take: they only see him at weekends, and Ed points out he only puts in an appearance when he's hungry. How he thinks he's got the right to treat them like dirt Ed can't understand, when they've worked their fingers to the bone for him and Keira. And what thanks does he give them for it? A bucket full of abuse, that's what, Ed exclaims aggrievedly. Emma just can't get over what he called her last week, and Ed angrily says he could wring his neck; it's disgusting. Emma says she had enough of people thinking that about her when it was all happening. Ed tells her it's ancient history; he knows it was messy at the time, but she did it out of love, and they've lasted, so it was the right thing to do. And anyone who thinks otherwise isn't worth bothering about.

Brad is still under suspicion, and says 'We. Didn't. Have. Any. Party' and that Chelsea will tell her the same, but Tracy has already asked her. She finally accepts that it wasn't a party party, but maybe just him and Mia having a bit of fun then? He tells her it is not way it could have been, because while she was away there was no him and Mia. They weren't really seeing each other. She is instantly sympathetic, then pleased when he assures her they're back together now. Actually, he was going to ask her: he wants to get Mia a little present; he did wonder about flowers, but is that bit boring? Tracy thinks it's a lovely idea but isn't sure Mia is a flowers kind of girl. He suggests chocolates, or perfume, though he doesn't know if she wears it and Tracy says if she did it's very personal and he'd have to get the right stuff. He doesn't want to mess it up, just when they're back on. Tracy ponders that as an eco-warrior Mia probably isn't into things, possessions, so actions would mean more to her; Brad realises he's going to have to think about it a bit more. Tracy thinks it's sweet of him thinking about it at all, and whatever he comes up with she bets Mia will love it. Brad asks if they can get some breakfast now. And is the interrogation over? Yeah, says Tracy; she should have known he wouldn't let her down. It's still a mystery though. Is it, really? asks Brad: think about it, Mum. There's someone they haven't mentioned yet, someone who's been unusually nice to her recently.

Emma is now grousing about having been roped in to help with the ferrets for the fête: Mia's going to stuff them and Emma is going to sew them up. The only reason she said she'd do it is that there's only two weeks to go. Ed reckons a nice simple job and good company, get the radio on, might be just what she needs to take her mind off His Lordship. It's not good to brood about it; she can't help it, though, she feels so guilty and wishes she hadn't slapped him. Ed considers that sometimes words are not enough; it's probably just as well she got there first, because if it had been him he'd have given George more than a slap. As they go towards the farmhouse Will and Mia arrive by car; they're all on fête duties today, and Will has a list from Eddie. Apparently he has put the barn out of bounds for some ploy of his own. Mia has been helping out at the rewilding, which she says is awesome. The word 'barn' reminds Mia to remind Will he has to confirm the Hollerton Silver Band. Brad then appears, hoping to have a word with Mia; Will asks him whether it's 'mission accomplished' and he says 'yes'. Emma says they all have things to do, and Ed and Will go off to deal with Whack a Ferret; Emma will see Mia in the kitchen. When the older Grundys have gone to their tasks, Brad produces a bunch of flowers; Mia says they are beautiful and it's a really lovely gesture, though for the future she isn't really into cut flowers. Brad tells her that Mum said she wasn't really a flowers girl but it's just a one-off: this sort were her mother's favourite. Mia is surprised and agrees that they were, and Brad says he thought she might like to put them on Nic's grave. Maybe he could come with her, if she wants. Mia starts to cry, which makes Brad panic and say he is so stupid.

As Ed and Will work on the fête props, it looks as if Ed is about to blame Will for George's delinquency, calling George 'your son' and suggesting Will wasn't hard enough on him when he was younger. Will wants to know how it would be the answer to bring him to Will for a thumping once a week, and when Ed says indignantly that he needs something, suggests listening to him. He's not saying George wasn't out of order, but there's obviously a lot of stuff he feels strongly about, and it goes deep: they can't ignore that. Ed is dubious: so he's just going to let him get away with it? Will's not saying that: he's got to apologise, for a start; but what then? They've got to ask themselves what they're trying to achieve. Ed suggests that a bit of a normal life would be nice, and Will doesn't disagree with him about that; but how are they going to get there? Ed doesn't know, and Will doesn't either; Ed sighs that it's such a mess.

In the churchyard Mia is telling Nic how Brad chose the flowers and checked they were her favourite and everything; isn't he a great boyfriend? Brad asks if that's how she sees him, and she asks if that's what he'd like to be; yes, he would, and she'll be his girlfriend. He didn't know her mum, except he saw her around a bit, which Mia thinks a shame: she would have liked him. Brad thinks what Clarrie said about Nic earlier was nice, and Mia tells him that Nic loved Clarrie and Clarrie loved her. Brad didn't mean to drag Mia away from ferret-stuffing, but Clarrie reckoned she and Emma could manage and giving the flowers to Nic was more important. Mia starts to cry again; it was so they could do this together, Clarrie could see how much it meant to her. She apologises, and says she's OK; she just thinks this is the nicest thing anyone's ever done for her.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 25th July, 2023

Pip plans a camping trip, and George has a wizard wheeze for getting away.

Characters: Brian, Stella, Pip, Ruth, Emma, George, Ed, Will
Credited scriptwriter
s: Keri Davies
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Although Brian has told her what he thinks about getting rid of the cherries, Stella has made her mind up that they have to go and has rung him to ask him to come over to the orchard and look at the rain-covers, so she can tell him what he really thinks.

Pressure washing after milking has been delayed by one of the cows slipping and ropes being needed to get her up again; Pip tells Ruth that David is keeping breakfast warm for her, but is not planning to join them because she is going to check on the sheep over at Home Farm. She can manage a quick cup of coffee, though. It is the last day of Rosie's term, and Pip feels rather rueful about everyone else's plans for holidays in for instance Spain and Barbados, while she can't really afford to go away during the school holidays when prices are through the roof. Ruth points out that a real holiday doesn't have to be abroad, and suggests camping. Pip is not sure Rosie would enjoy it, but Ruth gives her the idea of having a practice locally, and looking for a deal at a proper campsite if Rosie does enjoy it.

Breakfast at the caravan is tense; Ed and Emma are trying to talk normally, while George is being surly and uncooperative as usual. When asked to check on the Texels he says he is over at Bridge Farm today: he wants to film the milking. As Ed points out, this gives him plenty of time to check the sheep, which he grudgingly agrees to do. When Emma asks how long this is going to go on for he claims not to know what she means; she tells him they are still waiting to hear something from him about last week. Ed chips in with, 'Specially what you called your mother,' to which George replies, 'Yeah, that were a shame,' rather as if it had been nothing to do with him, and then when Emma says that it was really hurtful claims that he didn't mean to do that, but they have to think of the pressure he's under and it's true what he said: everyone reckons he's a trailer-trash freak, and they're right. They are literally living in a trailer. When Emma tells him he shouldn't be bothered by what other people say he immediately comes back with, 'What, like you're not bothered?' As she tries to reason with him he tells her all of them packed into the caravan is part of the problem; Ed makes the mistake of agreeing with him that it can get a bit intense, which turns the discussion from George's transgression to his requirements. These seem to amount to no longer living with Ed and Emma because they need more space and not to be cooped up with a hulking great eighteen-year-old; a den in the farmhouse is not enough for him if he has to come home at night. Ed suggests making that his bedroom, though George doesn't seem particularly keen on the idea.

As expected, Stella is explaining kindly to Brian why they ought to stop growing cherries, in spite of his not wanting to get rid of something which was a project of Adam's and being concerned about how Adam will react. She reminds him the trees are thirteen years old and there is no way the covers for them would last another season. Her spiel in favour of grubbing them out rather than replacing the covers is interrupted by the arrival of Pip, who is sympathetic to Stella's plaint that their costs are up and people are buying cheap cherries from abroad. Brian acquiesces and says he will find some way of breaking it to Adam. He then goes away to play golf with Jerry Morton, leaving Pip and Stella to talk about what to do with the old covers: Pip might be able to use some of the plastic as an awning. She tells Stella about her possible plan to take Rosie camping, with a shake-down trip on the farm first. Stella enthuses, and since she seems to know quite a lot about camping and hasn't done any since before the pandemic Pip ends up inviting her to come along and show her the ropes. She even includes Weaver in the invitation.

The plan for George to leave home [all the way across the yard, big deal. Chris] doesn't initially please Emma much, but she and Ed talk themselves into enthusiasm for it. It would just take the pressure off; so long as they aren't giving up on him, is Emma's caveat. She hates to say it, but Hannah has got a point about how George is with women. They decide it would mean they could take their time and build up a new relationship with the lad, and they have Keira to think about too. At this point Will arrives, having been told by George that he's thinking about moving out. He thinks it a good idea, and is sure Clarrie won't worry about one more plate to fill at the table. Ed adds that Dad owes them after everything they've been doing for the fête, and Will likes the idea of doing as Ed has suggested and being a bit more hands-on with George. Living together could be just what they need.

We discover that Pip must have gone camping with her parents, since she has found the table with adjustable legs which she reckons saved her parents' marriage after 'an unfortunate incident one trip'. When Ruth comes in and is told they will be doing the trial camp, Pip asks whether she remembers the year of the sliding casserole; she remembers it as having been at Woolacombe, and the dinner ended up in David's lap. They all have a good laugh about that. [Must have been good and hot then. Gus.]

When discussing with Will the possibility of his moving into the farmhouse, George makes it clear he doesn't really want to live at Grange Farm. He never said that was what he wanted: it was more Ed's idea. He appreciates it and all, but have they asked Oliver about it? After what happened about Caroline's bench, would he really want George living under the same roof? Will thought that was water under the bridge now, since Oliver gave him that money for his business, but George feels him hanging about the place chilling might make Oliver think he wasn't working hard enough. He also feels the place is hectic most of the time and young adults like him need a lot of sleep for their development and their mental health. He has a better idea: since he has to concentrate on his business and can't be bothering with things like cooking, and budgeting, he thinks he ought to move into Will's house at 1, The Green. Will is doubtful: would he be able to get on with Hannah? Oh, no, George was thinking Will could take the house back and he and George could live there.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 26th July, 2023

Johnny has an offer he probably shouldn't refuse, and Henry has a phone number he probably shouldn't use.

Characters: Helen, Henry, George, Tom, Pat, Tony
Credited scriptwriter
s: Keri Davies
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

While Jack is at holiday club, to which Henry doesn't want to go, Helen is insisting that Henry has to do a school project while she gets on with her paperwork. She won't have him hanging around doing nothing all holidays, no matter if he may think that is what holidays are for. She prevents him from answering the door, but it is George: he is taking Keira to a skate park and offers to take Henry too. Henry is very pleased by the idea, and after a token resistance Helen agrees on conditions: they are to be back by one and George is not to allow Henry to talk to anyone he doesn't know. While Henry runs for shoes, she thanks George for the kind thought. She is not to be allowed to do her paperwork in peace, though: Tom rings wanting her to come over to the farm straight away.

They reason for a family conclave is that Johnny and Freddie have fallen in with the crew of a round-the-world yacht; one of the crew has been injured, and Johnny has been invited to take his place. He has rung to ask his employers for permission to take up this opportunity to sail with them to Uruguay. He says that no sailing experience is required and he will just be the winch-grinder; the skipper is confident he will pick up anything else he needs as they go along. Tony thinks it's a great opportunity and Tom seems all in favour, but Pat says he's very aware it would leave them in the lurch and obviously felt terrible about even asking. He only made the call because Freddie told him he'd be mad not to to. Helen asks about Freddie's holiday, and Pat says he'd have to carry on alone. Helen is having trouble taking it in; how long will it be for? Pat tells her it could be up to four months, which shocks Helen.

At the skate park Keira has gone off with her mates, whom Henry doesn't know [and presumably is therefore not allowed, by Helen's diktat, to speak with. Chris], and Henry has stayed with George, who is vaping but refuses to let Henry try a puff and offers him an ice-cream instead. Henry seems briefly doubtful, and George guesses that Helen doesn't let him have sweets. Henry denies this, but, when George says she is such a nag, agrees with him. George says he thought his mum was bad and that's why he's getting out and moving in with his dad. Henry is doubtful for a moment as to whom he means by this and he clarifies: Will is his dad. Will owns this house he's never lived in, so George is going to move in there with him. Henry wishes that he could move out: it's rubbish where he is and Helen treats him like a little kid. He knows there's something going on, something big, but they just shut him out. George is sympathetic, and Henry tells him that he really needs to speak to someone, a sort of relation, but Mum will go mad. George asks whether Henry has his number, and, when Henry admits he'd have to find it on social media and Helen checks his phone activity, tells him you can easily hide that and asks for his phone. Henry has left it at home in the rush to get out before Helen changed her mind, so George offers to use his.

Tom is jealous, if he's honest, and Pat is excited for Johnny but can't help worrying [since worry is her usual state that is not surprising. Chris], having seen pictures of tiny little boats in storms in the Southern Ocean. Tony is sure the Atlantic and the Pacific aren't a walk in the park either [Indeed; they are short on grass and trees. Chris.] but it's a calculated risk: these guys wouldn't be taking it on if they thought it was too dangerous. Helen asks how big the boat is, and Pat has a photo Johnny sent her; Helen, who admits she is no expert, declares it looks pretty sturdy [a completely fatuous comment: yachts don't. It isn't in their nature. Chris], and Pat changes her plaint to feeling happier if it wasn't so rushed so they could do research and weigh up the pros and cons. Tom knows what she means but that's a luxury they don't have. Tony rightly says that Johnny is not a child and can make that calculation for himself; the only question they should be asking is, can the farm manage without him for another four months. He thinks they can. He can carry on with the milking: it's the summer, he says cheerfully; Pat mentions that it won't be by the time Johnny gets back in November. Helen wants to know what they would do for relief milker: they don't want a stranger coming in, and when Tony suggests that maybe Adam could take it on Helen grumbles that Adam is not really a cowman and they have to consider the quality of the milk: remember what happened when they were buying it in and Jimmy Drayton took his eye off the ball? Ian took Borsetshire Blue off the menu at Grey Gables! Tony is offended: are they saying he is not as good with the Montys as Johnny? Helen hastens to assure him she is only thinking of the times Adam or others would be doing it, and when he protests those would be in the minority reminds him that he is seventy-two and offends him all over again. Tom raises no objections to doing the work for the vegetables with only Adam to do it for him help. Sharon now messages to say that she and Eamon have talked it through and as long as it isn't going to mess things up for Bridge Farm they think Johnny should go for it, and Tom really feels they should make it happen for him; Helen reverts to the relief milker question and Tony and Tom suggest Eddie, Ed, Will or Pat before Tom grudgingly concedes that he could even do it occasionally. It's an amazing chance for Johnny and they'll make it work somehow. [I just hope Johnny doesn't suffer badly from sea-sickness: that would quite spoil their magnanimity. Chris.]

When George delivers Henry to Beechwood Helen is not yet back, but she arrives home before they have a chance to transfer the number they have found to Henry's phone she calls to them and George hastily says he'll see Henry round the back. Helen thanks George for taking Henry out, and he tells Henry he will see him ... soon ... and goes out. Helen says it looks as if Henry and George are getting on, and Henry says they are: does she know why? Because George listens to him and treats him as an equal. Helen apologises for having been a bit over the top earlier, and says it must seem she's a bit over-protective sometimes ('More than a bit!' puts in Henry) but he just needs to trust her. Henry acquiesces, and when the doorbell rings is allowed to go an answer the door to Tom, who takes up Helen's attention by allowing her to talk about herself in relation to allowing Johnny not to be tied labour, and discuss Tony not being capable of doing all the milking and how they will all be looking out for him. Helen admits that it's a bit selfish of her but with everything that's been going on it's been really nice to have Johnny around being steady; she will miss him. Tom comforts her that it is only for a few months and he'll be back before she knows it.

While Tom is distracting Helen, Henry has taken the opportunity to slip out and meet George, who gives him the phone number that he has found (it ends with 327) and tells him to make sure he saves that number under a bogus friend's name so his mum'll be none the wiser. Henry thanks him, but when George urges him to use the number at once, saying there is no time like the present specially when George has gone to all this trouble for him, doesn't want to: he's very grateful, really he is, but Mum will be furious, and he needs to think about it first.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 27th July, 2023

Hannah is out on her ear as Brad is drawn into the tent.

Characters: Eddie, George, Will, Hannah, Brad
Credited scriptwriter
s: Keri Davies
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Johnny being offered a chance to sail the seas is being discussed by Eddie, Will and George as they build a marquee (the fête hire charge for which they propose to pocket) from scrap poles and stray plastic. Eddie says that it's typical Archer family luck, and when George objects that Johnny is a Phillips, Johnny Phillips, he is corrected by Will, who tells him Johnny's dad was John Archer and died before George was born. Eddie reckons it might mean more work for George, whom he describes as 'Bridge Farm's golden boy now'. Taking Helen's kid to the park and all, enthuses Will, though George at once says he didn't do it for that: Henry's all right for a kid and they've got a lot in common. George, who has clearly got bored with doing something actually useful for anyone else, wants to go and do some bale-stacking; Will says it will have to wait because he's going to see Hannah soon, which pleases George, and then he's got a gardening job, so maybe after tea. George acquiesces. Will reckons the marquee is a bit small, and then wants to know whether Eddie has spoken to Brad yet: he hasn't but will.

Not knowing what Will is actually there to do, Hannah is hospitable and wants to be reasonable; she assumes he is there about George and tells him it's natural to be protective of his son, but she really had no choice after George broke such a basic biosecurity principle. Will tells her he isn't there about that and in any case understands her point of view. She's glad to hear it, and hopes that Bridge Farm may be a better environment for George. She and Will seem to be in accord, and when he says it's about the house and he's heard Johnny is going to be staying away for longer than expected she thinks he might be worrying about her ability to pay the rent, and assures him she has found someone to stay for a few months and pick up the slack so the rent is covered while Johnny is away. The friendly atmosphere changes after he has told her that he wants the house to live in himself, with his son and daughter; she instantly realises that George is behind this, is not at all happy with it and certainly doesn't believe Will's protestations that George has nothing to do with it. Does Will think she's stupid? She gets his son sacked and two weeks later he swans in and tells her she's out on the streets; when he says it's not connected she replies with bitter emphasis that oh, no, of course it isn't. She wants notice in writing, and is not accepting it until she sees it in black and white. He'll do it today, and obviously if she needs a reference he'll give her a good one. She is glad to hear that: does he have any idea how hard it will be for her to find somewhere else? When Brad calls to ask if he'll be long, she tells Will he should get off: he's done what he came to do. She slams the door on him; Will sighs deeply and goes after Brad.

What he wants is to invite Brad to tea at Grange Farm; when Brad says he isn't good with loads of people Will reassures him that they will be gentle with him, and tells him Clarrie has made one of her famous apple pies; with this inducement Brad agrees and asks what time he should come round.

Hannah has gone to get some cider, and George takes advantage of the shop being empty and unattended to gloat to her about getting her evicted, saying that it was one of his better ideas: his idea, in case she was wondering. She didn't doubt it for a minute. He continues in this vein for a while, about his having persuaded the family, and how it's a shame he has to wait two months: if it was up to him he'd be in by the end of the week. When she reminds him there are still some laws in this country, he intimates in a threatening voice that she had better be on her best behaviour: from now on she's going to have to keep the place spotless, because when he moves in he'll be inspecting every nook and cranny, so if she wants her deposit back... She cuts him off short, and tells him that he may think he's the big I Am, but she sees right through him, and one of these days so will everyone else.

Reporting back to his father, Will is despondent about having given Hannah notice; she gave him a right earful. Eddie has very little sympathy with him: he warned Will that nobody wants to hear they're being chucked out of their home. He still has nightmares about being thrown out of Grange Farm; Will protests that was different because it was their business as well as their home [not Will's, since he was a trainee gamekeeper not a farmer-cum-scrounger and scam artist. Chris] and there have been Grundys there for generations, and Eddie asks how long Hannah has lived at Number 1. When Will says five years Eddie tells him that's no tea-break, then gives his view that it doesn't sit well a Grundy being a landlord. When Hilda left Will the place [which she didn't; she left him money with which he bought it. Chris] Eddie was happy for him, though he'd have been happier if she left it to both the boys, and it's been a bit of security for Will, but handing out eviction notices is for the Matt Crawfords of the world, not the likes of them. Will mumbles, and there is a knock on the door: Brad has come round a bit early. To break the ice, Eddie asks him whether it's true his grandad got busted throwing a party at Brad's place [which is rather more Bert's place than Brad's. Chris] while Tracy was on her honeymoon, and Brad says yes, but when Eddie speculates further, Brad tells him that he wouldn't know because he wasn't there. Will breaks the awkward silence which then falls by telling Brad that Home Farm is looking for people to pick cherries; he's signed up himself. Brad already knew because Tracy will be doing it, but he can't because of his shifts at The Orangery. After another pause, Brad asks if there is anything he could do to help, which flummoxes Eddie; when he explains he meant towards the tea, Eddie has no idea but says that as soon as Clarrie gets in she'll let them know if she wants anything doing, and then suggests a cuppa while they're waiting. Brad says he'll wait till Mia gets there and is surprised to be told she isn't going to. [Because of course he hasn't been in touch with her about it by phone. Chris.] He thought it was the traditional tea with the girlfriend's family and getting to know you, which Eddie laughs at while Will is unable to resist the temptation to tell him that they wanted to talk to him alone, causing Eddie to go into a mock-serious catechism about Brad's intentions, with threats to break every bone in his body if he hurts Mia. Brad is unsure whether to take this cruel teasing seriously, though when he realises that Brad is genuinely worried Eddie does eventually reassure him that they are very pleased for him and Mia. What they want of Brad is something completely different. They need some help with the fête. Brad eagerly agrees to do anything. George then comes in wanting Will to come and help him stack bales.

George has done his best time yet, and suggests a pint at the pub after tea to celebrate that as well as a new home, new life, which Will is not sure they should be celebrating: he is not feeling good about the eviction of a busy woman with a mother who has dementia. George at once comes up with a reason they don't need to feel guilty about chucking Hannah out: she's got used to the idea now, and when Will wants to know how he knows that, says that he saw her in the shop and they had a nice chat about it. He was glad to see her, because he wanted to tell her he's forgiven her for what she did to him; Will guesses that's good. George claims that he feels sorry for her, what with her mum and all; this could be just the nudge she needs to move nearer her mum, leave Ambridge completely. Will never thought of that, and George goes on to say that it could bring them together, just like them moving in is going to bring them together. Will thinks, and says, that this is very mature of George. George takes his chance to say it's a shame about Poppy coming, mind, but when you think about it, everyone's a winner.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 28th July, 2023

Adam backs a loser, and Rob is back on form.

Characters: Stella, Tracy, Adam, Henry, Rob, Brian
Credited scriptwriter
s: Tim Stimpson
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Instructions on how to pick cherries are being given by Stella, with Tracy adding quite unnecessary back-up entirely for the sake of a double entendre. Stella asks the pickers please to be careful going up and down the ladders. As she collects a picking bag Tracy congratulates Stella on having found enough pickers: Will, George, the Button girls; Stella goes away to work in the office.

As Henry is clicking a number into his phone Adam startles him by saying jocularly that he has caught him, then asks if he isn't meant to be helping Tom in the polytunnels. When Henry looks worried about being, as Adam supposes, caught texting his friends, Adam whispers confidentially that he's skiving off too: he's nipping over to Home Farm to see how the cherry-picking is going, and leaves after advising Henry not to fritter away the beautiful day staring at his phone. As soon as he has gone Henry finishes dialling and gets through to Rob, who greets him by name and says he has been waiting for him to call. [Why has he? Chris.] Rob is effusively friendly; Henry finally breaks silence to tell him to get lost, saying that mum doesn't want him around, none of them do, and Rob is to leave her alone. The phone goes silent, and instead of ringing off Henry says 'Hello?', which gives Rob the opening he needs to keep him talking. He starts flattering Henry about sounding grown-up, and wanting to stand up for his mum, and how when Rob met him he was mature beyond his years [ah hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Awrigh. Chris], and how it broke his heart when they stopped him from seeing Henry; he can't tell Henry how much he has missed him. And his brother. Henry quite reasonably asks why he is only bothering to try now; Rob at once reminds him that he wasn't allowed. He then says he has to go: he has an appointment with a doctor, but he will ring back when it's over, in about half an hour. It's fine: he's got Henry's number now.

Over at Home Farm, Adam is giving Tracy a break and picking for her; she tells him that Bert had a party while she and Jazzer were away on honeymoon. She says they were worse than a bunch of teenagers [and left the place so clean and tidy that she remarked on it. Chris], though she is not looking forward to having George living opposite. Adam, who has gone up a ladder to pick, remarks that it looks like being a bumper crop this year, which would please his mother: she always loved the cherry-blossom, which lifted her spirits after winter. Tracy agrees that it's pretty, and mentions that it's a shame the cherries are going: Will told her that Stella said this. Adam is horrified, and goes off to the farm office to raise a complaint with Stella, quite forgetting to give Tracy back her picking bag.

Since he finds Brian in the office as well as Stella, Adam starts to complain to him, but Brian is clear that Stella's decision will stand, although he agrees that Adam ought not to have heard about it from Tracy Horrobin and understands that Adam is attached to the cherry trees. It isn't a matter of being attached, says Adam vehemently, it's the hard work that has gone into them [sunk costs. Chris]. Stella points out that the maths is against him: the pickers' wages wipe out any profit. He is annoyed that it hasn't been discussed, and when Brian points out that it has been, between him and Stella, accuses Stella of having an agenda and is rather rude to and about her. Brian assures him that Stella's reasoning is entirely sound, and tries hard to be pacific, suggesting that since Adam said he wanted to discuss it they should discuss it calmly; he asks Stella to explain.

In the new phone call Rob is trying to be pally with Henry, asking him about cricket and enthusing about Henry having been good at it: Henry is still playing, isn't he? Not really, is the reply: he prefers football like Uncle Ian, and Lee. Rob tries another tack: he says sorry, and when Henry asks what for, replies comprehensively, Everything. He wishes he could have protected them from all that nastiness. This shocks Henry into protest: it was them who needed protecting, from Rob! And now he is trying to hurt them again. Rob says harshly that that's what he's been told to remember, but he was there; Rob was the one who got hurt. Henry replies that was because he was coming to hurt Henry, which Rob immediately denies, claiming that far from shouting and saying horrible things he was trying to get Henry out of the room because Helen had a knife. Rob becomes colder and more like the self he showed Helen; Henry starts to catch his breath as if to cry. Rob claims all he wanted was to keep them together so they could be happy, like before, but she... He stops, perhaps because he realises that he is pushing Henry too far, then says more calmly that Helen loves Henry very much and he wouldn't want Henry to think anything else – but sometimes you can love someone too much, so much you can't bear to share them with anyone else. Taking Henry away from him and not letting him see Henry was her choice. But he's back now and he's hoping they can start again. Henry, in tears, tells Rob that he doesn't believe him: that's not how it was. Rob asserts that he is not lying to him, but Henry reiterates that he just wants Rob to go away and leave them alone. Leave them alone! Rob clearly realises he is not getting his way, and backs off a bit, then says there's something else Henry's mum has kept from him; when Henry wants to know what he plays his master card, his illness, though he doesn't say what it is.

Stella is explaining her point of view, interrupted and argued with by Adam, who now suggests keeping the trees and letting the birds have the cherries, which Stella points out would attract SWD – spotted wing drosophila. Brian feels that settles it, and Adam tries to hector him in his usual style, and fails. Now that Brian is not reliant on Adam for anything, he is not prepared to put up with being bullied by his step-son, and Adam arguing that Jennifer liked the blossom outrages Brian, who objects to his trying to use Jenny's memory to win an argument. In spite of Stella saying it's OK, he demands an apology from Adam, and means it. This leaves Adam gasping, but he eventually says, 'Fine. I'm sorry,' in the voice of one who has never been less sorry in his life; Stella accepts this at face value, Brian as being what will have to do. Now Adam is not to let them keep him; Brian is sure they need him back at Bridge Farm.

It's probably best if Rob doesn't go into detail, it seems, but even without telling the truth at all apart from the fact that they are still doing tests he manages to persuade Henry to keep listening to him. Not a day has gone by when he didn't think of Henry, he says; he has a photo he keeps in his wallet. Does Henry remember Lonely Cow? No, Henry doesn't. The picture is of her and Henry, and it went everywhere with him. All he wants to do it put the bad stuff behind them: is that so much to ask? Henry is unsure. Saying that there is no rush, Rob manages to talk him into staying in touch by text to cheer him up while he is having hospital appointments, which Henry agrees that he might; Rob gives his signature mirthless little laugh. Just one thing: he wouldn't mention it to Helen; it'll only upset her. What they say to each other is between them, in any case, and doesn't concern her. Henry goes along with this. No point stirring up a hornets' nest, says Rob: it'll be our little secret. Henry, flattered, agrees.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 30th July, 2023

Two balls: Eddie won't play it and Helen has dropped one.

Characters: Joy, Adil, Lynda, Tom, Kirsty, Helen
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Jess Bunch
Editor: Jeremy Howe

A newspaper and peppermints from the shop are what Adil needs to take into work with him, though Joy seems to think he should have Sunday off. [Wrong religion? Chris.] Lynda come in and hears them discussing her taking a back seat over the fête this year and producing a brochure on its history instead; she claims to be looking forward to putting her feet up as regards the fête itself. She tells Adil there are other challenges, among which is getting his curtains cleaned; can he let her know when it would be convenient for her to take them down? Adil agrees that he will, and goes off to Grey Gables; when he is gone Joy once more bemoans the state of the fête and says there is no point trying to find out anything from the Grundys; Lynda suggests that while it may not be as polished as in previous years, perhaps they should all learn to live with that.

When Tom encounters Kirsty she doesn't seem particularly inclined to talk with him about how Prague went, saying only that it is a lovely city before changing the conversation to Johnny. Tom, who previously said he was jealous of Johnny, now says that sailing appeals to Johnny but he can't see it himself. Kirsty asks whether Bridge Farm will manage without him and Tom responds that they will have to. For some obscure reason this coming on top of the news about Rob being terminally ill seems to be thought by Kirsty to make running the farm more difficult. She wonders how you are supposed to feel about Rob actually dying; Tom says it's undoubtedly a good thing for Helen and for all of them, and she agrees but also sees it from the point of view of his dad and brother. Tom is not going to waste too much time on that. He does sometimes wonder whether it is real, or whether Rob has just set it all up. Kirsty doesn't think he could, but Tom bitterly opines that you never can tell with Rob Titchener. Also, Miles coming to see Helen was clear manipulation, though Kirsty thinks he must have had some warped version of events from Rob. When asked, Tom says that Kirsty knows as much as he does about how Helen has been doing this past week

Talking about the fête is something Lynda is not prepared to do; when Kirsty wants information about it, the person she wants is Eddie Grundy. Kirsty has already been to see him, and got nowhere: she asked him questions and got no answers. She and Rex want to timetable in activities to do with their display about re-wilding, such as bug hunts, pond-dipping and identification trails, and they don't want to clash with other events. She just wants to know what's going on when, but Lynda doesn't know; however, since people keep asking her, she will speak to Eddie herself and try to jolt things along a little.

Tom is making a sandwich and offers one to Helen, but she is all right and doesn't want one. Her main problem at present is detaching Henry from his mobile for five minutes. He passes on Kirsty's concern about how Helen is taking the news about Rob dying, and Helen, sounding slightly surprised, says she thinks she's OK about it: as far as she's concerned it's finished business. She's going to concentrate on the farm again. Personally she thinks they need more time to make up their minds about Fallon and the tea-room, and she and Tom agree there's no real rush. They have the Borsetshire Rural Food Fair next Sunday, and should be focussing on that. They ought to do well there... There is a pause, and then she groans, 'Oh, no.' She didn't put the cheese bid in for Grey Gables. And she has to reapply for her supplier accreditation before it lapses: she should have done it weeks ago. Tom moans that he should have reminded her when he was negotiating a short-term contract for the veg a while back, but Helen tells him not to worry about it and that anyway it's not too late to sort something out. Tom gloomily says they drive a hard bargain at Grey Gables; Helen says the cheese is good, so she'll get things in order and plan a pitch. And she can also talk to Grey Gables about potentially supplying mozzarella. Tom offers to give Adil a call, and Helen thinks he should, because Adil was really keen on finding a local supplier. She'll make some calls too and source some buffalo milk so she can tell Adil she's started to trial mozzarella. Adil's always said he wants to provide local food, and you can't get much more local than Bridge Farm, they reassure one another. They are just late with their bid, but not too late. They really have got this covered, Helen reassures herself, breathing deeply. 'Why wouldn't they give it to us?'

All of a sudden Lynda is accusing Joy (who has been mentioning the matter with increasing intensity) of not realising how serious this is: the fête is a week today and has been critically under-planned. She has spoken to Eddie, although it wasn't easy and there was a distinct impression of non-cooperation. In fact he fobbed her off; it was always Clarrie who answered the phone, because Eddie was 'busy in his shed', and he never did phone Lynda back. [So how come she said she had spoken to him, which she definitely did say? Chris.] There is something fishy going on. Lynda fears the fête is going to fall far below the standard of previous years, and Joy agrees: what she heard this afternoon puts the cap on it. Alarmed, Lynda wants to know what that was; Joy tells her portentously that there is no band. Lynda may have heard a Grundy say it was to be booked, but the Hollerton Silver Band has now been un-booked. Lynda decides they have to find out what is going on, and Joy suggests getting Brad Horrobin, who has just joined the committee, to tell them. Lynda, spouting another TLA from a crime drama, decides she will separate him from the pack and question him.

At Grey Gables, Adil is hospitable and friendly, and willing to talk about his problems with their Head of Food, with whom he has not been seeing eye to eye: they have agreed to go their separate ways and it won't be easy to find a replacement. When Helen mentions their conversation last year about mozzarella he is equally willing to talk about making mozzarella for his grandmother in Pakistan; what he will not do is buy any from Helen. He has already got a supplier, in Shropshire, which he thinks is local enough for his purposes. He is then summoned to the kitchen and asks them to excuse him; the pair are left to complain to each other; Tom tells Helen she ought not to have ordered the buffalo milk, and that she has probably damaged their bid by even mentioning the mozzarella

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 31st July, 2023

Brad feels browbeaten; Tom and Helen feel betrayed.

Characters: Lynda, Brad, Tom, Helen, Adil
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Jess Bunch
Editor: Jeremy Howe

As Brad is clearing tables at The Orangery Lynda approaches, refuses to take 'no' for an answer, and makes him sit down with her to discuss the fête and his now being on the committee. She wants him to be Treasurer; eventually he manages to cut through her attempts to sell him the job to tell her that he already is the treasurer. This changes things; she now knows he is part of the Inner Circle ('so to speak') she requires him to tell her about the fête, in spite of his feeling that they ought not to have this conversation.

It seems that Tom is determined to be present at the second meeting with Adil, for all that Helen doesn't want him there and says she doesn't need him; he is firm that both of them coming will show they mean business. Helen has brought a cheese-board so that Adil can have a tasting, and tries hard to do her selling, with interruptions from Tom. Adil happily samples and then asks for numbers, which she tells him she can email him this afternoon. He tells them that Grey Gables is committed to local producers, and the floats the idea that he might need Tom's growing advice: he has just got an allotment over at Lower Loxley. Helen then offers him the Sterling Gold to try, which he does before saying that he isn't actually looking for a hard cheese at the moment: he has arranged to buy that from Celia Sparrow at Fawcett Magna. Helen at once says it is not nearly as good as theirs, but he tells her he got on very well with Celia and asks only for figures for her Borsetshire Blue.

Nobody has come into the Orangery and given Brad an excuse to escape, so he is trying hard not to tell Lynda everything she wants and saying it is committee business. [Since she is on the committee, not having resigned from it, why doesn't she just say so? Chris.] When she mentions the minutes being made public at some point, he tells her there are no minutes: Eddie couldn't understand the ones he made, so he stopped bothering. Lynda is shocked, and Brad tries again to get away, but she makes him wait and when he asserts that Eddie is doing his best, asks crossly whether he thinks that will be good enough. Brad 'can't rightly say' and begs her not to ask him any more; she tells him sternly that she believes he has a duty to the truth. Is he going to sit back and watch the Ambridge Fête crumble to dust? Is that what he wants? Of course it isn't, exclaims Brad, and when asked if he values the truth he immediately and repeatedly says that he does. Persuasively, she tells him that they have it in their power to save the fête, but she needs his cooperation: Ambridge needs him! He gives way; he'll tell her what he knows, though it isn't much. She starts by asking him about the Hollerton Silver Band: are they in, or out? She hears rumours... When he is silent, she is horrified: Joy Horville says she booked them. Brad confirms that she did, but then Eddie said they weren't having a band, only stuff through speakers, and cancelled them. When Brad told him they'd still have to pay to do that, and people started moaning about it, Eddie changed his mind, only then he and Will each went out and booked a band: Hollerton and another made up of mates of Eddie's who did country and western. Then Will and Eddie had a row about it, blaming each other, and each cancelled his booking without telling the other. So they have ended up with no music at all, back where they started. Brad seems somewhat fed up about this. The tombola is not happening, even though it is a money-spinner; according to Brad there's not much money-spinning going on: he calculates they're not even going to cover their expenses, and at current progress they're in for a loss. When Lynda starts to wonder whether if all Eddie's plans work out, Brad interrupts to say they won't. It would take a miracle. When she says optimistically that miracles have been known to happen, he is not sanguine: as honorary treasurer, he has to say that's not a good policy to build your budget on. She asks whether any of it is likely to come off, and Brad says that Eddie has put a lot of work into bits of it, but when she wants to know which bits he gloomily says that it is mostly the ferret stuff: Eddie was on about calling the whole day 'Ferrety Fun'. Lynda moans. There will be knitted ferrets, ferret-based activities, whack-a-ferret, and the highlight of the whole day, which Brad doesn't know because it's a secret but he thinks is quite likely to involve ferrets: it's ferrets front and centre this year. When asked if there is anything not involving ferrets he mentions the re-wilding display, with which Mia is helping. Lynda decides they need to act: as near to 'now' as he can manage, she will need a list of everything that's definitely happening, with names and contact numbers. They have less than a week to save this fête!

Having been politely thrown out by Adil, Tom and Helen are griping, and working each other up about him: he kept stuffing himself with the cheese he said he didn't want, complains Tom, while Helen points out that's two promises he's broken, Tom adding 'the mozzarella and the Sterling Gold'. [Actually, he made no promises apart from that he would listen to their pitch, which he did. Chris.] Helen wants to know how they are supposed to trust him after that, while Tom is indignant about Adil's idea of 'local'; Helen mentions Shropshire, while Tom thinks it will be Lincolnshire next. Tom worries that they will lose out on the veg too: he has only a short-term contract for that, and who knows which way Adil will jump when it runs out? Maybe he'll provide everything from his wretched allotment, grumbles Tom. Helen thinks it feels more and more like the end of their Grey Gables connection, though Tom is not prepared to concede this; they can't let him get away with it! They have to build a case he can't ignore. If she does well at the Borsetshire Food Fair, then he has to pay attention, and they'll build on that and win him round.

The complete list has been produced, with names and numbers [and there are still no customers in The Orangery! Chris]; Brad explains that the first (not very long) column is stuff that is definitely happening, while another longer one is all the people who were going to do something but were never asked, or got asked but it then got cocked up somewhere down the line. He wonders what she will do now, and Lynda responds that ultimately she is going to rekindle the flame of the fête. It will then take place, and it will be a success. But before that she has to confront Eddie. Brad is horrified: he'll know it was Brad who grassed him up. Her attempt to soothe him is not terribly successful: he says he betrayed the Grundys. He'll be banished. They'll cancel him. Banished by the whole family! She promises that Eddie will never know, and when he moans that he shouldn't have done it and they will cast him out, tells him to calm down: she isn't going to tell him Brad is their mole, and he will have no reason to think Brad is. He'll be far too busy to question Brad; she'll see to that. Brad's name won't pass her lips.

Tom is now arguing that they can't give up on this and Grey Gables is far too big a customer to abandon. He reckons that Adil says he has other suppliers but probably hasn't signed off on them; he is probably saying the same to Celia Sparrow as he has to Helen, and waiting to see what Bridge Farm's next move will be. They can provide most of what he is looking for, best quality and organic – and Grey Gables brand is the best, organic, local. However, he doesn't think Helen should try again; he thinks he should. Given that Adil said a friend was providing his mozzarella and he got on well with Celia Sparrow, it looks as if he responds to the personal touch. Tom is suggesting a charm offensive; Helen is not sure she could do that after the way he's treated them, but Tom reckons he could. He can become Adil's new best mate.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 1st August, 2023

Mia and Chelsea seem unlikely to be friends, and Tom is not Adil's new best mate.

Characters: Mia, Kirsty, Chelsea, Tom, Alistair, Adil
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Jess Bunch
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Instructions about preparing the rewilding display for the fête are being given by Kirsty to Mia; people are to have hand-written labels to put on the plants they think they belong to, and Mia will be writing out the labels. Mia wants to put the Latin names too because she likes them. She has just told Kirsty that the meadowsweet is Philipendula ulmaria when Chelsea comes up and greets them: Mia is put out to see her, but Kirsty takes the opportunity to try unsuccessfully to pump her about what is going on about the fête, in case Brad has told her. Chelsea is surprised they are making labels with pens when printing them off would be quicker., but Mia is quick to lay down the law about it, having only just been told herself that is what they are to do. Kirsty goes to see Rex about the pond-dipping, which doesn't please Mia at all, and Chelsea stays and tries to make polite conversation until Mia asks her what she is doing there, since all this is not really like her. She claims to be volunteering, which Mia doesn't believe, to help (which causes Mia to repeat the word incredulously). She just thought that now it's Mia and Brad, it might give them a chance to chat: not mates exactly but not so snidey either. Mia repeats 'snidey' as if she is about to take exception to the word but Chelsea forestalls her by saying they both were and always taking a pop at each other, but maybe if they both help out on the stall... Mia sounds surprised when she agrees that could work, and for a moment peace breaks out until Chelsea suggests she could paint nails with daisies or whatever, and Mia instantly says 'I don't think so' in a very dismissive way, adding that it isn't on brand and it's kinda naff and anyway isn't varnish going to be toxic? Provoked beyond endurance, Chelsea leaves, delivering the parting shot that the thing that is really naff is thinking the only way to save the planet is to dress like a scarecrow.

Tom is delivering a veg box to Greenacres, but Alistair is in a hurry to get to work and Jim is out, so Alistair asks him to leave it by the back door: he'll take it in when he gets back for lunch. Tom then spots Adil and says 'Good!' When Tom tells Alistair he's thinking of recruiting Adil for the cricket team Alistair is surprised and says Adil isn't a cricketer, but Tom thinks he's keen; Alistair immediately spots that Tom is up to something. As they argue the point Adil greets them, and Alistair leaves for work saying that he believes Tom has a proposition for Adil. Adil is disconcerted, and even more disconcerted when Tom starts to talk about cricket, claiming that Ambridge is suddenly a player short and trying to recruit him to the team. Adil stops him and says he can't play; Tom refuses to accept this, and, having first inappropriately offered to buy him a pint at The Bull during his lunch-break, dragoons Adil into trying a few shots against his bowling.

Worried about her interaction with Chelsea, Mia seeks advice from Kirsty. Something she said that morning made Chelsea storm off so she probably won't be helping on Sunday after all, and that's the problem: Chelsea is such a nightmare, deliberately confrontational, really awkward, always on the look out for bovver, and so petty: she's bimbocore! Amused, Kirsty suggests that they don't get on, and Mia agrees, 'Not really.' The thing is she's Brad's sister. Kirsty gets it: Mia doesn't want her relationship with Chelsea to spoil things between her and Brad. Mia tells her that basically they're close and she just wondered what Kirsty would do in her situation.

It turns out that Adil did actually know whether he could or could not play cricket; he can't. Tom tries to tell him he has potential; maybe if he kept his eyes open... Adil hadn't realised they were closed. Tom insists on bowling at him some more, and Adil announces his intention of declaring in time for lunch but manages to hit the next one; there is a distant crash as of breaking glass. Tom saw where it came down: on Greenacres, where Jim Lloyd lives.

The door of the rewilding office opens again, this time on Chelsea, who wanted to ask about whether her non-toxic nail-varnish would in fact kill otters as Mia seemed to be asserting. After inspecting it, Kirsty says it seems fine to her, and Chelsea asks her to tell Mia so. Kirsty agrees to if it is absolutely necessary, then asks whether there is anything else on Chelsea's mind. Chelsea has this thing going on and doesn't know what to do about it: it's Mia Grundy. Chelsea won't be helping at the stall because of her: she gets so up herself and starts coming out with all this 'I know better than you' crap... So she's fallen out with her, suggests Kirsty, and Chelsea wants to know who wouldn't: she's such a nightmare giving it the yak yak yak all the time and stuck up save the planet this and save the planet that like Chelsea is the one personally responsible for destroying it. Kirsty points out that they are obviously very different people, and Chelsea totally agrees: Mia is an eco-yeek. Kirsty asks if they can't just stay out of each other's way, and Chelsea explains about Brad; Kirsty gets it: Chelsea doesn't want her relationship with Mia to spoil things with her brother. Chelsea doesn't want him hurt. He likes her, so what is Chelsea supposed to do about that? They've got nothing in common! Ah, but they have, Kirsty tells her triumphantly: they both care about Brad and don't want this to be bad for him, which is a starting point, isn't it; something to build on. Reluctantly Chelsea concedes that it's, like, one brick; Kirsty is firm that is better than no bricks, and Mia is nothing like her but if Chelsea can put up with the way Mia is, maybe Mia can do the same for her.

The hydrangea which was under the cricket ball might be going to survive, and Tom thinks they've got most of the fragments of the pot; Adil hopes Jim wasn't too attached to it, because he and Jim have already fallen out over the charging station [which is an interesting take: they got on like a house on fire at the Borsetshire Business Angel of the Year Award on 11th April, 2023, and don't seem to have spoken to each other since. Chris] and he doesn't want to get on the wrong side of him again. Alistair, presumably home for lunch, now wants to know what is going on and Tom quite gratuitously takes the blame for skying the ball which caused the destruction; Alistair informs him the Jim is not going to be delighted: that was a prize-winning hydrangea, and Jim often tells him, and the pot was a replica Grecian urn he got in Delphi. [If it was from Delphi it was simply a Grecian urn, unless it had Made In China stamped on its base. Chris.] Adil says ruefully that it wasn't intentional, and Alistair can see it was an accident but Dad will say it was an accident that could have been avoided with a bit of prudence. He goes to fetch a dustpan and brush, and after asking why Tom claimed responsibility for the shot which caused the breakage Adil makes it clear that though Tom says anyone would have done the same for a mate, he is not a mate of Tom's and he can guess what Tom is doing, with the flattery and asking him to join the team, which by the way he won't be doing. Tom claims not to know what he means, and Adil makes it clearer: this was what you might call a charm offensive, trying to win him over. He can assure Tom it doesn't work, not with him.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 2nd August, 2023

Quite a lot of labelling and a little compromise.

Characters: Mia, Eddie, Stella, Chelsea, Paul, Helen, Pat
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Jess Bunch
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Under questioning by Mia, Eddie boasts about the ferrety nature of his proposed fête and what a success it is going to be, while managing not to give her any idea of what she actually wants to know; she and Kirsty have been trying to plan the rewilding activities and can't find out when anything is supposed to be happening. Eddie flannels, but insists there will be a schedule: it is being prepared as they speak. When Mia protests the fête is on Sunday, he claims he has a whole team working on it; she just wants to know, and he goes off into an explanation about it being a big thing to put on, especially with the level of innovation he's looking for, and that sometimes his team is a bit slack. Mia tells him that Emma is not happy about the marquee: it will be like serving tea in a phone box, one in one out. Eddie admits there are blips, but continues to claim that he is confident. Unfortunately Lynda appears just then, and he immediately tries to run away and hide behind the phone box. Luckily for him, Lynda goes over to speak with Sabrina. He worries about how she seemed, which Mia couldn't tell; while he is telling her about the various gaits Lynda uses, Lynda sees them and, to his horror, comes over.

Weaver is out with Stella because he is 'checking on the harvest', which Chelsea believes for a moment. Apparently taking the dog with her to work is the only way Stella can exercise him, while Chelsea is on her way to help with the re-wilding. As the two are about to part, Paul comes up saying 'hi there you two', then changes it to 'you three' on the grounds that Weaver is there too. It's Weaver that he really wants anyway; Lovell James wants photos for their website to illustrate Weaver's abandonment story. Stella is not keen; it's during the harvest, it's not 'her', and she doesn't want to do it, but Alistair and Paul have been so good to her that she will. Chelsea, who has offered to do her hair, reckons it could put her on the style map; Stella hopes not.

Lynda's confrontation with Eddie is hardly such at all; he agrees with every accusation she makes. Yes, the fête is teetering on the brink of chaos. The organisation hasn't been a success, done by someone who couldn't organise two mugs on a shelf; me, admits Eddie. Lynda doesn't know the ins and outs of it, but the question is what they are now going to do about it. Eddie, in a despairing wail, doesn't know: the truth is he doesn't know what he's doing and it's run away from him like a greased pig. He keeps making lists and then just sitting there staring at them. He's so sorry, so, so sorry. Lynda tells him not to dwell on it: they have to look to the future and find a solution. When Eddie asserts that there isn't one, she indignantly retorts that of course there is: they work together, combine forces. Eddie is staggered: she means she'd help? Lynda is gung ho: between them they can make it work. He has some good ideas, and he has ambition, whereas she can get things done and has contacts she knows how to use. Her first call will be the Hollerton Silver Band: she is prepared to guarantee they'll be back in the fold by close of play. Then they hire a proper marquee, and that also is guaranteed.

In the dairy, Helen tells Pat that after Tom's daft plan of befriending Adil has come to nothing, they are no further forward than they were before, but when Pat says that's it then, no more Grey Gables connection, replies that it needn't be: Helen now plans to play up to Adil's love of brands by giving him his own Grey Gables brand, giving him Grey Gables Gold by rebranding Sterling Gold. Pat goes off the deep end, and even being told that Helen has talked to Oliver about it fails to calm her. Sterling Gold is more than a name! She says it is selling out, likens it to Tom and Natasha using their children to advertise massive chemical companies, and rants about Helen turning out [sic]years of tradition and turning her back on Bridge Farm heritage. Helen shrilly insists that they rebrand and that's the bottom line [sic].

It seems that both Mia and Chelsea are now writing labels for Kirsty, four per plant so that four groups at a time can use them, and Chelsea still reckons it would be quicker to print them off. [If Mia started writing them yesterday it could hardly be slower! Chris.] After being told by Mia that hand-written is more in keeping with the aesthetic, Chelsea sighs deeply and suggests rounding off the edges of the labels. This gets a flat no from Mia, but when she asks why Mia changes her mind and thinks that actually, that might work. Chelsea could try a few and see what Kirsty says. As she gets to work with the scissors Chelsea decides simply to come out with what she has been wanting to say: Brad doesn't like a lot of people. She means not when there's a whole bunch of them. Mia knows what she means, and Chelsea continues: it makes him edgy and he can't help that. Mia agrees that he goes out of focus; and they are both aware that his passion for Star Wars is entirely serious and not to be laughed at. [Gary was fanatical about Star Wars. Chris.] Mia adds that it's the same with the rules: Brad's very obedient and he thinks if there are rules you have to stick to them; Chelsea mentions everything having to be in the proper order, like books and shoes. Mia isn't sure he is right about rules, which sometimes have to be challenged though that's not how Brad sees it. Uneasily, Chelsea asks if she's writing a report on him or something with all these observations, and when Mia points out defensively that Chelsea spots them too, retorts that he is her brother and she doesn't want people mucking him about. However, she concedes in a rather dreary tone that she doesn't think that's what Mia is doing. The two agree that neither of them wants him hurt, or laughed at. This height of emotion is enough for Chelsea, who now reckons it's not worth cutting labels like leaves; Mia disagrees: it's a great idea, let's keep doing them like that.

The photoshoot is happening at the office, not at home, but Paul is quite happy with that, and also with the fact that Stella will be taking over from Brian on the combine at six. She disapproves when Paul suggests a shot of the dog sitting at the computer, and Paul immediately gives way. He is hoping for something soulful or 'monarch of the glen' [I thought the monarch of the glen was a stag? Chris], but Weaver is not all that cooperative so he decides just to keep snapping: they're bound to get something they can use.

Just before Helen packs up for the day at the dairy, Pat has come to grovel for having disagreed with her earlier, but finds Helen surprisingly prepared to see her point of view; Pat is allowed to suggest that there might be a compromise – the word seems to be strange to Helen. What Pat suggests is a separate label for Grey Gables, put onto the Sterling Gold that they make anyway: just the same, but packaged exclusively for the hotel. [And put onto the cheese-board in its wrapper? I think not. Chris.] This chicanery seems to Helen as if it might work; she'll think about it. Pat says she could see it was all getting to Helen, with the uncertainty over the agreement with Adil and everything, and Helen admits that she feels if she can win that back, maybe everything else will fall into place.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 3rd August, 2023

It's hard to decide whether Brad or Ruth is the bigger idiot.

Characters: Mia, Brad, Weaver, Stella, Ruth, Alistair
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Jess Bunch
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Mia and Brad are out for a walk, and Mia cheerfully recounts the gossip about George moving out of Little Grange in into Grange Farm; it is evident after a bit that Brad has something on his mind and isn't really paying attention. When she encourages him to listen to the birds singing their little hearts out, he comes up with 'dawn chorus sort of thing' which causes her to remark that it isn't dawn. She says it's nice to be out for a walk of an evening, the two of them, and he mentions being able to hear the combine, which she feels is not quite the same as the birds. When she says that she's missed him this week he stammers something about her being busy with the rewilding, which gives her the opportunity to tell him that Chelsea is helping with that, did she tell him? He expects so. Mia prattles on, about the date of the fête being the same as that of the Borsetshire Rural Food Fair and Lynda being put out about it, but eventually notices he is replying to her at random, and asks if he is all right. He first claims to be fine, then admits that he's not really, no. As she questions him he prevaricates guiltily, but finally says he has something he has to tell her, something on his mind. He has a confession to make.

The harvest is under way at Home Farm, with Brian on the combine and Weaver being restive and barking while Stella tries to get him to stay. Ed is driving the tractor for another half hour, and when Stella takes over from him she planned to ask him to take Weaver home, but since Ruth is there she can take him back to the house, and feed him. Ruth is happy to oblige; she only came out to watch the harvest, there being nothing like harvest time on a farm. Stella agrees that it always inspires her and reminds her why she came into farming. [Along with all the other things about which she has said the same. Chris.] Then her phone rings, and Ruth takes over holding Weaver while she answers it to Alistair.

The terrible confession is taking forever and Mia has no idea what Brad is talking about. Eventually he manages to explain that he has grassed up the Grundys, to Lynda Snell. Mia is unbothered about him having dobbed Eddie in, on the whole, and reckons Lynda would have found out anyway. Brad feels that's not the point: when the family find out it was him they're going to turn on him and have nothing more to do with him; he'll be banished. Mia can't help laughing a little, but he wants to know what it will mean for him and Mia, and he can't stop worrying about what he's done. Mia sees the flaw in his reasoning: Eddie and Lynda are now working together and are best of friends, so it's worked out OK. Brad is convinced Eddie is not going to let go Brad having dobbed him in; Mia reminds him that Eddie won't know, but Brad is convinced he will; and when Mia wants to know how he would find out and asserts that she certainly won't be telling him, Brad affirms that it's the truth, and it matters. He's been there before and he knows: these things, they always do get found out.

The harvest is continuing accompanied by the sound of Weaver's barking; Alistair rang to say he was delighted with the pictures of Weaver, and there is one more thing: they had a look at the deer while they were passing, through binoculars, and one seems to be a touch lame, right hind leg. Stella is finding it difficult to hear him with the combine just beside her, and he offers to tell her later, but she wants him to give her the gist, which he does: one of the deer is lame but it looks as if it's already on the mend. He could go in and do a proper examination but – he is interrupted by Stella shouting, 'Weaver! Come back here!' and by screams. He asks what is going on but gets no reply.

Brad has now decided he will tell Eddie himself, even though as Mia says with slight exasperation there is no point. He insists that there is a point and he has to, and when she repeats that she really doesn't get it, says again that he's been caught like this before, when Harrison Burns questioned him and he tried to cover stuff up. Mia argues in vain that it was different; as far as Brad is concerned, he did something wrong, he didn't own up, it was a bad move. She tries to clarify that this time, he hasn't done anything wrong, though he at once says he knows he has. She explains that telling Lynda the fête was about to collapse ('betraying the Grundy family!' exclaims Brad) was the right thing to do, even though he moans that it was going against the Grundy code; he is helping to save the fête. He is sure it is by doing a bad thing, and that doesn't make the bad thing good. Mia wants to know what this 'Grundy code' is, and he starts with 'look out for your family'; she instantly reminds him that he isn't even a Grundy, but he says you've got to respect their code. She then asks what if doing that means doing something wrong, and gives the example of what if it said you could steal from old people, which confuses Brad, who didn't think it said that. Mia, still trying to get through to him, tells him that in his place Eddie would have done what he did, which Brad doesn't believe and denies. She can see why he see why he feels he has to tell Eddie, but wishes he wouldn't; he plans to go round tomorrow morning and get it over with.

Weaver is in the treatment room when Ruth asks Stella what news there is; Alistair has said he will let her know how he is as soon as he can. He is still alive. Stella then asks about the harvest, and Ruth tells her Ed was pretty shaken up, which Stella understand since he was driving the tractor when Weaver ran into the path of the trailer; she is clear that it wasn't Ed's fault. And Weaver still has a chance. Ruth knows what Ed is feeling; she feels a bit the same herself. [As well she should! She let the dog go; if she had held on to his lead he wouldn't have been injured. Chris.] She and Stella indulge in a bit of self-flagellation about who was the more to blame, with Stella realising that she ought not to have taken a greyhound into the fields at harvest time when there might be animals running away from the harvester. She feels sick when she thinks about the possibility that Weaver was used in hare-coursing before he was left tied to the railings outside the vets' surgery [in the middle of a working riding stables, where nobody noticed his arrival in daylight. Chris], to which Ruth replies 'Ah, lamping' just to prove that she doesn't know what she is talking about. She then reassures Stella that they are going on with the harvest at Home Farm, though Ed and Brian have changed places because Ed no longer fancied driving the tractor. Alistair comes out and tells Stella they've done what they can for now by cleaning up the wound, but can't really say at the moment how Weaver is. Stella asks whether he's going to be all right; Alistair replies that he's had quite a knock, and asks what actually happened. Between them Stella and Ruth tell him that a hare jumped out of the barley, and Weaver broke loose and chased it straight into the tractor and trailer, missing the tractor but hitting the trailer. Alistair says he's a greyhound with a high prey drive: once he set off it's not likely anyone could have stopped him. Stella asks for the diagnosis, and is told that Weaver has taken a blow to the abdomen below the ribcage and Alistair is worried about internal injury; Stella asks sharply if he doesn't know, and he replies that it's hard too be sure at this stage. The dog is bleeding from the mouth, but that is not conclusive. Ruth asks whether they can give him anything, but no: not until they know more. Anaesthetic could be dangerous in his condition. Stella asks what happens now and is told that Paul is taking blood samples to determine the level of blood loss, and they will put him on a drip of Hartmann's solution to counter blood-loss and shock to a certain extent. The bag will have to be replaced at regular intervals throughout the night, so Paul has volunteered to stay to do it. Stella wants Alistair to thank him for her. Ruth asks if there is anything they can do and Alistair is clear that there isn't at the moment. They'll have a clearer picture by the morning: till then go home, get some rest. Stella thanks him, and Ruth invites her to stay over at Brookfield if she doesn't want to be on her own, but Stella doesn't want that: she'll just get back to the harvest, where Ed will need relieving. She'd rather stay busy and see what tomorrow brings. Alistair warns her that she should be prepared, though, because by morning she might have a difficult decision to face.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 4th August, 2023

Eddie painstakingly explains a joke, and Ruth and Stella have a hysterical laugh.

Characters: Brad, Eddie, Stella, Ruth, Paul, Alistair
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Jess Bunch
Editor: Jeremy Howe

As he told Mia that he would, Brad has gone to see Eddie. Eddie pumps him to find out what words exactly he used about Eddie being hopeless, and he produces pathetic, or maybe useless, but explains that Lynda asked about the fête so he was mostly talking about that: bound to be a wash-out because it was so badly organised. Eddie does a good (if totally unnecessary) job of pretending to be offended and hurt; Brad knows he betrayed him and now realises that he should have told him first. Eddie has a hard job not laughing at the idea of Brad telling him and then going and telling Lynda Snell, though Brad thinks it would probably have been better that way round: more honest. Eddie suggests that just keeping his trap shut would have been better still: in a hard-man voice he asserts that Brad has disrespected him. Brad bravely says that he is prepared to pay for the harm he has done. Only, he pleads, don't cast him out! Eddie's facade cracks as he repeats the words in an astonished voice, and Brad adds banish him from talking to anyone in the family. Eddie says sternly that he will have to give that one some thought: this is a serious matter. At the very least he will have to consider Brad's position as honorary treasurer of the Ambridge Village Fête Committee, two thousand and twenty-three. Brad whimpers that he is so sorry.

Ruth has gone round to see Stella and is told Weaver had a bad night; Alistair has just called and told Stella he thinks Weaver has a ruptured spleen, which might even have been damaged before the accident. Ruth is sure that can be operated on, but it seems that it's more complicated than that: Weaver is too weak to take the anaesthetic. Stella's choice, in the end, wasn't much choice at all: prolonging a life of pain and a series of risky operations, or letting him go. Alistair has said she can go to the surgery to be with him at the end and she has said she'll be there at eleven, having squared it with Brian who was very understanding. Ruth at once offers to go with her: she wants to, but only if it's helpful. What Stella would like is to be driven there, and back afterwards. [Brookfield Bungalow and the vets' surgery are about a hundred and fifty yards apart. Chris.]

Brad asks whether there is anything more he can do to make up for what he did wrong, and goes on at some length about his exact offences until Eddie tells him to give it a rest and stop going on about it: he's said sorry, lots of times, and should now put a cork in it for half a minute. Gently and patiently Eddie explains that he was having Brad on, and it doesn't bother him what Brad said to Lynda Snell; for the last five minutes he's been trying to stop Brad giving himself a hard time. Brad wants to know what about the Grundy Code, and Eddie wants to know what code? Don't grass up a mate is everyone's code, and this was grassing for a good reason anyway. As a result of what Brad did, Eddie and Lynda are the best of pals over the fête, the dream team in fact, and should be thanking Brad. Brad realises that is what Mia said: a bad thing for a good reason. Eddie didn't know Brad would take it so bad: his behaviour was his old-fashioned idea of a laugh and gets him into trouble with Clarrie sometimes; Brad confesses that he was getting proper worried. Gently, Eddie says that he could see that, but there's no need; Brad explains that he thought Eddie was going to tell him he couldn't see Mia any more, and Eddie wonders why he would say that. He thinks Brad and Mia is lovely, and apologises for taking the Michael like that. He goes too far sometimes. 'You are forgiven,' says Brad, seriously, and Eddie thanks him. He then asks whether the fête is going to turn out all right and Eddie instantly claims to be quietly confident. He invites Brad to come and give him a hand to put the finishing touches to the secret finale to the fête, which greatly pleases Brad even when Eddie swears him to secrecy about it, mentioning the Grundy Code.

Paul takes Stella to stand by Weaver where he can see her, and Alistair encourages her to talk to him; she does, about their first meeting and so on, until Alistair tells her that Weaver can't hear her any more.

After she has gone home, Alistair is distressed and Paul offers what comfort he can in the circumstances. Weaver came to a good home in the end, and Stella really did care for him. Alistair says it caught him a bit off-guard back there, feeling his emotions getting the better of him, and Paul wants to know why it was wrong for him to be upset about the death of a dog he knew well. Alistair responds that you have to remain in control, and he has always told Paul this; Paul agrees that he has, from the very start: be professional, Paul, don't get too emotionally involved. When Alistair tells him he was perfectly professional just now he suggests that it doesn't have to be one or the other: of course be professional, but Stella could see that Alistair cared about Weaver and that mattered to her. Paul is certain people would rather have a vet who shows a bit of emotion than one who just does the job and takes the money. Alistair takes the point. Paul has given his advice and now wants some: he has had the pictures of Weaver from the photoshoot printed; should he give them to Stella now, or wait a while? She seems to be coping pretty well, but she might find them upsetting. Alistair suggests giving her the option: put them in an envelope and she can choose when, or even whether, to look at them.

Ruth has brought Stella some lasagne and is advising her to take some time off [in the middle of harvest, and Ruth is meant to be a farmer. Pshaw. Chris]; they will lend Ben, or Josh, to Home Farm to make up numbers. Stella doesn't want not to be busy, but thanks her politely, and then asks what Ruth makes of the envelope of pictures of Weaver, which Paul has put through the door. She hasn't yet opened it and wants to know whether Ruth would look at them; Ruth wouldn't. The house seemed empty when Stella got in, and photos wouldn't be the same, Stella muses; anyway the photoshoot was a bit of a disaster because Weaver wasn't cooperating with Paul's ideas. Ruth suddenly changes her mind: Stella should look at the photos. Maybe it would be better if she sees them with someone else there. Or doesn't see them at all, Stella offers as an alternative, then opens the envelope. The two laugh over the photos and Paul getting frustrated as he took them, until suddenly Stella starts to cry over her dead dog.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 6th August, 2023

Helen nobbles the opposition, and Lynda has a day to remember.

Characters: Ian, Oliver, Joy, Lynda, Eddie, George, Helen, Clarrie
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

On the way to the Borsetshire Rural Food Food Fair together, Ian and Oliver are talking about poor Stella, and as Oliver says, Ed too since he suffered a real shock. Oliver hopes just to show his face and justify his invitation, then get back to Ambridge for the fête so he is there to see Eddie's 'surprise'. Ian has a lift back with Helen after he finishes judging. She is already there setting up; she is after super-gold. Oliver knows that she is hoping that if she wins the top prize it will persuade Adil to stock Sterling Gold as opposed to Cordwell Cream; good luck to her. Ian asks how things are going at Grey Gables and Oliver tells him the new Head of Food to manage all the ordering hasn't worked out and Adil has let her go; they are going to have to re-advertise. What they really need is someone who knows local suppliers and knows what's seasonal and what's good quality; when Ian suggests they want someone they can trust just to get on with it Oliver agrees and then has a brainwave: why didn't he think of it before? Ian! Ian is startled, and says that he has a job, but then admits he has got someone in to cover the rest of the festivals over the summer because he wanted to spend some time with Xander. Oliver feels the job might work for him in that case, since, although (as Ian argues) Ian is a chef not a Head of Food, he knows this stuff better than anyone. Ian feels that Adil probably wouldn't want him, but Oliver wants him to discuss it with Adam, and Ian agrees to think about it.

The Ambridge Fête, meanwhile, is in chaos, according to what Joy tells the newly-arrived Lynda; Eddie was holding the plan for positioning the stalls upside down when he was allocating pitches, and everyone has set up in the wrong places. Lynda decides that since it is now almost eleven they will just have to leave things as they are, and goes to placate the leader of the silver band, who is not happy. Eddie of course is no longer there: he has texted Joy to say he is running late, with something about 'a surprise' which she didn't understand. Just as Lynda is saying how entirely predictable it all is Eddie does turn up, wearing a Mediaeval warrener's outfit complete with codpiece. Joy makes an effort at praise by saying it's certainly ... authentic, and George gloats that it's good, isn't it. Lynda merely informs Eddie that he was needed on site half an hour ago, then tears him off a strip about Joy having been run ragged unravelling his mistakes; Joy intervenes and says soothingly that she thinks they're sorted now, but Lynda goes on enumerating all the things he has failed to organise properly until George says everyone looks happy, which Lynda attributes to Joy's excellent people skills. Eddie remains insouciant and goes to set up his surprise, refusing to tell Lynda what it is, and before George goes to help him Lynda asks for the QR code for the brochure, which she wants Joy to make sure is prominently displayed. She thinks some people might prefer a printed copy, but George says they must think of the trees; if anyone wants they can always print it out for themselves, and this way all the cash goes to u... he catches himself and says 'to charity'. George then goes to warm up for his hay-bale challenge, with Joy wishing him good luck. Lynda is left fuming about Eddie Grundy's laissez faire attitude.

The title Head of Food is said by Helen to be amazing, and she's sure Ian would be perfect for it. So he'd be in charge of all the buying? Ian thinks that's the idea but he hasn't said yes yet. When Helen enthuses that that would be brilliant, he wryly asks whether she means for Bridge Farm, which she indignantly denies. Anyway her cheese doesn't need any favours, thank you: it speaks for itself. She just needs top marks today and then she can go back to Adil; Ian remarks that as a judge he has to be completely unbiased, and while the two joke together Oliver approaches them. It looks as if he might be roped into being on the judging panel: Lulu Duxford, from Les Soeurs Heureuses, has suffered a gardening injury and is in for a long wait in A&E; he wonders whether Helen would step in. She demurs: she can't, because she is entering. Ian points out that if she really wants to impress Adil, being a judge would do it, and Oliver enthuses that they don't let just anyone judge these things: you've got to be very well thought-of in the cheese world, and you wouldn't see the likes of, say, Celia Sparrow on a panel like this. Helen is flattered, and Oliver says he'll go and run it past the organisers.

In Ambridge George succeeds in stacking forty-nine bales in the time allowed, one more than he needed. Clarrie is very proud of him and announces that now he can relax and enjoy the rest of the day; Lynda wishes she could do the same, but she has to go and find Eddie.

Helen has enjoyed doing the judging, and her results seem more or less to tally with the other judges; she tastes cheese number five, which Ian reckons has a good chance, and has done pretty well across the board apart from Helen's marks. She didn't rate it; the aroma was fine, but Ian is staggered to see that she didn't like the taste, and wants to know why not. She just didn't: she didn't get any sense of place, and found it quite bland. Ian realises what is wrong with it: Helen knows as well as he does that cheese five is Cordwell Cream, the cheese that Adil's keen on for Grey Gables. In faux innocence, Helen asks, 'Is it?' and Ian assures her that it is, and what's more she is marking it down on purpose to stop it from getting super-gold; she's sabotaging the competition. She asks whether he has any idea how ridiculous he sounds, then when he tells her judges have to be completely unbiased accuses him of mansplaining cheese judging to her. She then patronisingly breaks it down for him: she tasted the cheese, she didn't think it was that great, she marked it accordingly. He sighs.

To the sound of a merry-go-round medley Eddie finally unveils the surprise finale, The Grundy Ferrets Wheel. It's a fairground ride with ferrets; only Grandad, as George remarks. Joy didn't realise he had so many, and Clarrie explains he was lent a lot of them by the Ferret Society; Joy exclaims that they are all dressed up, bless them. Eddie asks Lynda what she thinks, and she replies it's rather wonderful, actually: he has captured the unique spirit of the fête. It's utterly adorable. She tells him he might have pulled this off, and then sees that her magnum opus has been downloaded five hundred times. George has collected lots of cash in his bucket and by crowdfunding and has hundreds of likes of his video, too. Lynda takes it all back: Eddie has organised a truly great village fête. He is surprised, but immediately says he could only do it with her by his side; sorting this lot has been a lot harder than he thought it would be, and he takes his hat off to her: event organising really is an art-form. This means a lot to Lynda. He adds that she had better promise him that she'll never retire. She fears that she must, but what an event to go out on! Eddie Grundy has really made her day!

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 7th August, 2023

Pizzas en Espagna, a lost ferret and knackered combine.

Characters: Ian, Adam, Ed, Emma, Stella
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The discussion between Adam and Ian of Oliver's unexpected suggestion about a job at Grey Gables makes it clear that Adam is not expecting any difficulties about Ian actually getting the position. He wouldn't actually be cooking, more meeting suppliers, choosing ingredients, negotiating contracts, that kind of thing. Ian doesn't really want to work for Grey Gables; Adam recommends turning it down in that case, whereupon Ian starts to talk himself into it: the money on offer is more than he was making there before as the chef, and he could do most of it from home. True, says Adam [who naturally knows all about what is involved. Chris]. Ian had the summer all planned, though: he has booked Mary to take the van round the festivals so he can spend more time with Xander; he even thought they might book a last-minute holiday: though Adam is not sure he'd be able to get away, Ian says it would be just for a few days. Adam wonders whether there might be the option to do the Grey Gables job part-time. Ian wouldn't bank on it; Adam suggests that if he doesn't want to do it he shouldn't; the money would be nice, but they're not desperate and Ian deserves some time off for a change. Ian will think about it, and meanwhile he needs to put Xander's porridge on; this is the second time in a row Xander has slept in past seven. Ian points out it took him ages to go to sleep; he is still upset about Weaver and has drawn a picture which he wants to take to Stella. Ian wonders how she is getting on, and Adam keeps thinking of her; Ian suggests they should go and see her, taking Xander to nursery and dropping in on the way back. Adam is not keen, but Ian determines they could take her Xander's picture and some flowers from the garden. He refuses to see any objection Adam puts forward: it's the right thing to do, a chance to show her they care and to make friends properly, he insists, and Adam concedes it would be better to have her as a friend than as an enemy.

Because it's her birthday, Ed has made Emma bacon and eggs for breakfast and got her a bunch of sweet peas. She also has a card from George, with no message in it; she was hoping things might get back to normal with him staying with Clarrie and Eddie, but he is obviously still angry and sent the card with Clarrie. Clarrie told her Eddie has lost Marvin the ferret: such a shame after he did such a good job at the fête; Lynda was raving about it and Emma thinks he was really proud of himself. Ed is being monosyllabic, and even when Emma thanks him for her birthday earrings he only says 'You're welcome'; Emma realises that he is still upset about Weaver. He isn't looking forward to work because he reckons Stella is avoiding him, and he fears for his job. Emma suggests going and telling her how sorry he is.

The gift of roses from the Honeysuckle Cottage garden pleases Stella, as does the picture from Xander, who according to Ian wanted them to give it her rather than giving it for himself; Ian does some soothing talk and suggests she ought to take a bit of time off, but even under that provocation she manages to stay calm and just say she preferred to work over the weekend. Adam agrees that keeping busy can be helpful, and cites his own clinging to work after his mother's death; he reminds her that she does have to make time to grieve too; she feels that losing a dog isn't the same as losing your mother. She then tries to get on, but Ian asks Adam [as if to a six-year-old child. Chris] if there wasn't something else he wanted to say to her; given this heavy-handed prompting Adam embarks on some sort of apology about his poor behaviour over the cherries, and makes such a bad job of it that Stella loses her temper and informs him that the decision she made was the right one, that he doesn't get to meddle in the day-to-day running of the farm, and that she is not going to get into this. He protests that he doesn't want to, but she is determined that he is trying to change her mind, though he denies it. Ian, having his done his bit for good relations between the households, says they should go now. Stella goes in, leaving Adam stunned by the attack on him; Ian's comment is that he can't help himself, can he, which bewilders him further until Ian clarifies that he was supposed to be offering her sympathy, not getting into Home Farm business, which exasperates him. Ian says that to be fair to Stella, she's got a point: the day-to-day running of Home Farm isn't really anything to do with him any more, is it. Adam agrees that it isn't, but he still cares about what happens there: is that such a bad thing? Ian snipes that it might be worth keeping his opinion to himself, at least as far as Stella is concerned.

Yet again Stella is interrupted, this time by Ed, who asks whether she has a minute, to which she replies, 'In a word, no.' She then asks after the combine, and he is able to tell her that it looks like a gear-box component in the unloading auger needs replacing, so Brian has gone to get the part. She is fed up that in the meantime everything has ground to a halt. Her phone rings, but she doesn't answer it: she is too busy with emails, and wants a look at the combine. Ed fails to take the hint, and stays long enough for the phone to ring again; Stella tells him it's the vet wanting to release the body, but she hasn't yet sorted out what to do about it. This gives Ed his opening for apology, awkward but clearly sincere, and to offer to help: he feels terrible about what happened. She tells him it wasn't his fault, and when he says she ought to take some time off tells him there's no need, she's fine. Or she will be, when they get the gear-box fixed.

All seems to have been forgotten and forgiven when Adam gets home after work; Ian has met Mary to go through the van maintenance plan and they have sorted everything out between them. Ian has been thinking: if he takes the Grey Gables job [if it is actually offered to you. Chris] the money from that and what the van makes over the summer might be enough for the deposit on a pizza place in Borchester. Adam asks tentatively if that is instead of the van, but no: as well as the van. Ian is in full enthusiastic flow, and Adam knows better than to argue. Ian has decided to take the job, though heaven knows what Adil's going to say: he got the distinct impression Oliver hasn't run it past him. Adam laughingly says that is Oliver's problem, and Ian concurs.

When he gets home Ed talks to Emma about his conversation with Stella, telling her that Stella could hardly look at him because he ran over her dog. He is shocked about it himself, thinking about the awful noise the collision made and how for a moment he thought it was Ruth; Emma points out that it wasn't, and these things happen, especially with farm animals. He reveals that he keeps thinking about Baz, which Emma tells him was a long time ago. He can see it as if it was yesterday: firing the shot, realising it was Baz... Emma is firm: it was an accident, just like yesterday. It could have happened to anyone; it's just bad luck and there was nothing he could have done to stop it. Maybe not, but Ed still finds all the reasons that he was to blame. Emma makes it clear there's no point in him beating himself up: what's done is done. Ed knows that; but it's no comfort to Stella, is it. She's snowed under and can't even arrange the dog's burial. Emma agrees with him that it sounds like she needs some time off. She adds that maybe Ed could do with some time off and all: this whole thing has really shaken him up. He is sure he'll be fine, but he does think that Stella needs a break: he just needs to work out how to help her take one.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 8th August, 2023

Neil can see clearly, while Marvin is nowhere to be seen.

Characters: Clarrie, Ed, Emma, George, Oliver, Neil
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Grief over Marvin the Missing Mustelid is preoccupying the Grundy family, at least those of it who have to live with Eddie. He is brooding in the cider shed and Clarrie is worried; Ed says will put the word out about the creature round Home Farm. She asks Ed how things are at Home Farm, and when he says they are not great tells him sympathetically that she can imagine and tells him to take care. He drives off, and she then goes to knock on the door of Little Grange for a word with Emma. Clarrie opens by saying that Ed seems a bit down, which gives Emma the chance for a good moan about him having convinced himself Stella was going to sack him even though it wasn't his fault, and how he has been worried about Stella and thinks she needs to take some time off; he's not that much fun to live with and her birthday meal, with him silent at one end of the table and George silent at the other [and Keira presumably away on a balloon-trip somewhere. Chris] was no fun. Clarrie changes the subject to Eddie being not much better, with everyone out looking for Marvin: Susan's put up a poster in the shop and Joy's offered to do a walk round the village with a squeaky toy; Emma is not sure he would have gone that far. This reminds Clarrie: are the knitted ferrets still in Emma's boot? Marvin might be hiding in there with them. Emma suggests checking the boxes full of china too, before she takes those back to the tea-room. George has offered to make an appeal video and put it on line, and is over at the cider shed talking to Eddie about it: maybe he can get through to him.

No joy, it seems; George tells Oliver that Eddie says he is too sad to go on camera. Oliver has never seen Eddie so gloomy: what's he doing in the cider shed anyway? Dismantling the ferrets wheel; violently, George surmises. George is glad he saw Oliver: he wants to show him his crowdfunding total from the bale-stacking, which Oliver describes as phenomenal [though we are not told how much it is. Chris]. George turns down tea: he has to get to Bridge Farm, where they will be recording in the edible garden. Oh, and he got accepted onto the farm management course which starts in September. Oliver finds this brilliant news, and George reckons that before you know it he'll be a fully fledged farm promotions company. As Oliver crows with delight there is a knock on the door: it's Neil, hoping for a word with George. George claims to be a bit busy and not have time for him, so he leaves. After he's gone George says defensively that he does have to be at Bridge Farm and he is running late, but Oliver feels that he was a bit hard on Neil, so he agrees to hear Neil out and grudgingly goes after him.

In a resigned tone George asks what it was then, and Neil congratulates him on his hay-bale stacking, which praise doesn't seem to fill George with pride or joy. Neil struggles on in the face of hostile monosyllables, and invites George over for tea; the response is 'Can't. Sorry.' A further attempt to get a less completely negative response from George just calls forth the accusation that if there is bad feeling, Neil caused it. If he was that bothered about being a good grandad he wouldn't have betrayed George like he did. Neil defends his action: he had to do what was right in the circumstances. George tells him that families should stick together no matter what, and when Neil tells him that he couldn't lie for him George yet again denies having done anything wrong; Neil points out that Neil lying wouldn't have done George any good in the long run, so George sarcastically tells him that George keeping his job would have been awful for George, and when Neil says he is doing all right at Bridge Farm, and applying for courses, George furiously tells him that is no thanks to him. It was Oliver who backed George, and Oliver has been more of a grandad to him than Neil ever was, which makes Neil gasp in disbelieving dismay. George leaves for work.

There is a cheese delivery for the tea rooms; Clarrie has brought over some Sterling Gold from the dairy. She asks Emma whether she has heard anything from Edward since this morning; yes, they've fixed the problem with the combine, but they're way behind and everyone's stressed. George comes in for a ham and cheese sandwich, which Emma offers to get for him; he crossly says he can pay for it himself. Clarrie asks if he had any luck with grandpa, and the answer is no: George rang him, and was told to get off the phone because Eddie is now ringing round about his lost ferret. Clarrie thinks that is a step in the right direction, but Emma pours scorn: does she really think anyone will have seen it? George, who has clearly been earwigging, asks what Ed's problem is, and when told by Clarrie that everyone is upset about Weaver says it's really horrible to lose a dog like that. Emma says with a certain amount of schadenfreude that Stella is devastated, obviously, and that Ed thinks she needs to take some time off, only it's harvest so she can't take it, and in the meantime Brian's driving the tractor but that can't go on forever. Ed wants to help and feels awful about Weaver; George murmurs 'Of course.' Emma says Ed could do with George going easy on him, George agrees, and when Emma looks sceptical says that he means it.

Oliver is sympathising with Neil; he had hoped he and George might manage to sort things out. Neil says that was the idea, but very much not, as it turns out: George doesn't want anything to do with Neil. Oliver fears that it might be his fault, a bit: he told George he should go and talk to Neil. He meant he should clear the air, not ... you know. Neil is afraid it's just George all over. Oliver mentions that he was very upset losing his job like that and it might take him a while to get over it. [Does Oliver in fact know why George was sacked? He didn't just 'lose' his job, after all. Chris] Oliver is sure he will come round; Neil isn't. He was so cold and uncaring. Neil has tried with him, he really has, and it hasn't always been easy. He's never been an easy kid to like, muses Neil; he knows that sounds terrible, his own flesh and blood... Oliver puts in that blood isn't necessarily thicker than water. Neil says he's treated George the same as the others, of course he has, but, well, he's never said this to anyone, not even Susan, but he could never quite connect with George. There was always a sense that he was playing you, even when he was just a little kid. And he's sorry; he shouldn't burden Oliver with this! Oliver reckons he is being very hard on himself: after all, you can't choose your family. Neil says ruefully that Eddie and Clarrie and Susan all dote on George; they don't seem to have a problem connecting with him, so why can't he?

Ed has come home from work to tell Emma again that Stella looked stressed; he needs to help her, not in order to keep his job but to put things right. Whatever way you look at it, he killed her dog. As he does so George comes in and when told it is sausages and mash for tea says in a quite friendly way that he'll stay for tea then. He'll go and tell Clarrie in a minute, but he needs to talk to them first, about Home Farm. Ed is upset that Emma has told George about the situation there, though Emma tells him George overheard her and Clarrie talking. George isn't interested in the by-play: he has had an idea. Why doesn't he drive the tractor? That way Brian can rest his legs, Stella can take it easy, and Ed can keep his job. Emma thinks that might not be a bad idea, but what about his work at Bridge Farm? George can sort that; it's mostly editing now and he can do that in the evenings and fit it round the harvest. [Which as we all know knocks off at five o'clock sharp. That's why Adam used to carry on all night with headlamps. Chris.] George claims he wouldn't want paying, which makes Ed splutter derisively, but George says he just wants to put things right. They'll have to run it past Brian and Stella, is Ed's reaction, and Emma reminds George he'll have to commit to it and turn up every day until the harvest is done, not leave them in the lurch; when George says he wouldn't do that, Ed thinks they should ask them. He and Emma thank George, and George says he can drive a tractor in his sleep so he might as well help out: how long till tea? Ed tells him half an hour, and he's to go and let Grandma know he's eating in Little Grange, and tell Keira, who is practising handstands in the yard, that it will be ready soon. After he has gone on these errands, Emma and Ed express their shock, though Ed did think for a moment he was going to apologise, properly apologise; Emma says this is a kind of apology, not in so many words but he's stepping up, helping out; she knows he has his moments, but he can actually be impressive when he wants to be: his raising money with the hay-bale stacking, and now wanting to help Ed and Stella when there's nothing in it for him. Ed is not so certain and wants to see how it pans out, but Emma reckons that if George is trying to make amends after an awful few weeks they should let him: he's not a bad lad, deep down.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 9th August, 2023

The ferret mystery is solved by shrinkage, and Ed and Stella are both fine too.

Characters: George, Stella, Ed, Clarrie, Joy, Eddie
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

George has turned up at Home Farm with Ed, ostensibly to tell Stella how terrible it was about her dog but actually to put himself forward as a tractor driver so she can have a break. She denies needing a break, and wishes that everyone would stop telling her what she needs. Ed argues against this, and George chimes in to tell her she needs time to sort stuff, and tells her about their dog having died and how he was gutted; he doesn't mention that this was more than half his lifetime ago, but finds time to say that Ed killed Baz, which startles Stella. He repeats the statement that Ed killed Baz, in a helpful way, while Ed flounders. He doesn't make a habit of it, George tells her in extenuation, before adding that he's just saying he knows how she feels and it takes a while to get over something like this. She agrees that she needs to sort out Weaver's burial, but says it's not that simple: she needs to be sure George is going to be reliable and, in spite of both him and Ed saying that he is an excellent tractor driver, mentions his having been sacked from Berrow recently. Ed at once says that he was, and it's taught him the importance of following instructions to the letter, to which George responds 'absolutely', claiming to have learned his lesson. He really regrets what happened at Berrow, according to Ed, and helping with the harvest could be the chance he needs to prove himself. George says he doesn't want paying, but Stella is clear that she'd pay him the going rate, and offers him a day's trial.

There is no good news about Marvin: Joy has come to tell Clarrie that Harrison doesn't think a missing ferret is a matter for the police unless it has been stolen. Clarrie is not surprised; it was always a long shot: it's just that it might have offered Eddie a bit of hope. It's clear Eddie is milking this loss for all the drama he can, with the result that Clarrie is really worried. There has been one false sighting, which only served to raise his hopes and dash them again: Susan thought she saw the animal outside the shop, but it turned out to be a squirrel. The worst thing for Clarrie is that she just doesn't know how to help him. Joy volunteers to speak to him, in spite of Clarrie's warning that he isn't really in the mood for visitors and might not even open the door of the shed.

When shouted to through the shed door, which is indeed shut, Eddie only replies to ask what Harrison said; Clarrie encourages Joy to tell him the truth, although Joy fears this might send him over the edge. When he learns that Harrison has said the police won't be able to investigate, Eddie wails 'Oh no!' and then goes into breast-beating about it being all his fault: if anything has happened to Marvin he'll never forgive himself. While Clarrie whispers anxiously, Joy says firmly that wallowing isn't going to bring Marvin back and there is no point doom-mongering: most likely he's found someone to feed him and he's quite comfortable and in no rush to come home. Clarrie chimes in that what they need to do is get word out there that Marvin is missing and they want him home. Eddie bellows further fatalistic remarks from the depths of his shed about not being able to if Harrison won't help, but Joy determines that if Harrison won't do it, they'll just have to do it themselves.

It having been demonstrated that George can drive a tractor up and down in straight lines and keep up with the combine, Stella is happy to offer him some shifts to help with the harvest, on a casual basis and just until things are on a more even keel.

Joy is now recording a heart-rending plea from Eddie, who calls her Kathryn Bigelow but does as he is told when she demands another take of the schmaltzy statement that Marvin is not just any ferret, he is also Eddie's best friend and part of their family. Joy will now get George to do a bit of editing and captioning and then post it. She also plans to give The Echo a ring and see if they'll put it on their socials, and George can put it on all his channels too. Eddie is not sure what good it will do, but he thanks Joy anyway. Clarrie then gets a message from Edward, who because George did well at Home Farm proposes to treat the family to steak at The Bull. Eddie doesn't want to go, but Clarrie has had enough of his catastrophizing: he is not turning down dinner at The Bull to stay in and mope round the cider shed. Enough's enough: he'll feel better if he gets out. When Joy backs her up, Eddie reluctantly agrees, and Clarrie packs him off upstairs to put on some clean clothes, before inviting Joy to join them: they owe her a drink. As Joy is disclaiming and saying she'll join them later a shout from upstairs startles both women, who rush to find out what the matter is, Clarrie screeching to know if Eddie is all right. He is more than all right: it's Marvin!

Stella too has gone to The Bull after work [since as we already know, in Ambridge the harvest happens only 9-5 not all the hours God sends. Chris] and Ed encounters her there and offers to buy her and Pip two red wines. It's good to see her outside work for a change; she tells him Pip insisted on them coming out to cheer her up, though they will be leaving early because tomorrow they will be camping out at Brookfield. [See previous notes about harvesting. Chris.] Stella explains about Rosie and camping, and Ed claims he used to love camping as a kid; Stella too, and she is actually really looking forward to it. She didn't think she could make it, but now they've got some help on the farm she can afford to take her foot off the gas a bit. She politely asks whether Ed is out with the family, and he explains they are having a double celebration: George getting a (temporary, he hastily amends) job, and the return of Eddie's ferret Marvin. Stella is delighted to hear that, and Ed recounts how Eddie found the ferret in his trousers, the ones he had on under his Mediaeval warrener costume: Marvin was curled up inside the pocket, having obviously still been in there when Eddie took them off. [This is a bonsai ferret and fits into the pocket of an ordinary pair of trousers, without weighing over a kilogramme. Chris.] Ed awkwardly thanks Stella, again, for giving George a chance, and Stella says he is a good worker and it is good getting someone in: she feels less guilty about taking time off to sort stuff. She clocked off early and went to see Alistair, and is going to bury Weaver tomorrow in a plot offered to her by Brian, by the wild-flower meadow which Weaver loved. She feels that really she ought to be buying Ed a drink: if he hadn't come up with the George plan she'd never have been able to take time off. Ed now wants to say about Baz, Will's dog who died, he just wanted to explain... Stella is sure that's no need, but Ed wants to be clear that he's not some kind of... 'Dog serial killer?' offers Stella sweetly. Ed begs her not to, and she apologises and assures him she wasn't laughing about Baz, which must have been awful; what happened with Weaver must have brought it all back. Is he OK? He says he's fine and was just bothered about her; she tells him she is fine too, or she will be, and thanks him: it was kind, the way he thought of her and wanted to help. She appreciates it.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 10th August, 2023

Tom and Ian are doormats, Pip is a tease.

Characters: Tom, Ian, Helen, Pip, Stella
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

While looking for Adam at Bridge Farm, Ian encounters Tom and shares with him his unease about Helen's behaviour at the Borsetshire Rural Food Fair; when Ian breaks it to Tom that she basically tried to downgrade the competition he is shocked: is Ian accusing her of rigging it? Ian reluctantly says that yes, essentially he is. He explains about her marking down the cheese Adil plans to have at Grey Gables, the Cordwell Cream: it would have got super-gold if not for Helen's giving it poor marks. As he is saying that she just acted as if this was all perfectly fine, Helen breezes up to them, wanting to know what they are whispering about, and, when they stammer that it was nothing and they weren't whispering, instantly assumes it was about her, to which both men say 'No!' She challenges them: what were they talking about, then? [To which the sensible reply is 'none of your damn' business', but neither Tom nor Ian has the sense God promised a doorknob at the Beginning. Chris.]

Camping at Brookfield has been postponed, probably indefinitely: Pip tells Stella that Rosie was fine with the idea, but had the melt-down to end all melt-downs about the tent being dark and smelly and has had to be taken into the farmhouse to sleep there instead. [As opposed to back to her own bed in the cottage in which she lives and where there is actually a bedroom for her, just on the other side of the yard. Chris.] Pip is indignant when Stella says 'aw, bless her': she is going to have to completely re-think the summer holiday plans. However, since Rosie is now being baby-sat, they could go down the pub once Pip has struck the tent. Then Pip realises that Stella has been looking forward to camping and suggests they could still do it; the two agree to do so after some 'after you', 'no after you' dialogue deferring to each other. Stella checks they can use the loos at Brookfield and is reassured that the outhouse door has been left open. She then produces the giant marshmallows she managed to find at the village shop.

As is her wont when she is in the wrong, Helen has gone into attack mode and is accusing Ian of accusing her of being dishonest, which he denies. Her attack on them succeeds in diverting both men from the appalling nature of her behaviour. They know what pressure she's been under recently, she rants; she is just about managing to hold everything together, but her closest friend thinks that the most pressing issue is the quality of her cheese-judging skills! Having worked herself up into a hysterical state, she manages to drag in not having wanted to be a judge anyway, and accuse Ian of trying to paint her as some sort of deranged obsessive who elbowed her way into the judging panel to nobble the competition. Ian manages to get space between her indignant stutters to tell her he didn't mean to upset her, to which she responds untruthfully that he hasn't: she's not upset, she's angry. Before any more can be said she rushes off exclaiming furiously that she has to get the boys home. As Tom shouts 'come back!' Ian apologises to him.

The camping, complete with fire and wine, is leading to much companionable giggling, and childhood reminiscence from Stella, who was too busy doing all sorts of dancing to be in Brownies. She was sent to Young Farmers at twelve and loved it. When the bottle of rosé [pronounced 'rosy' by Pip. Chris] runs out she produces more from the top of her rucksack, which Pip pours out for them apparently by the pint. They agree that farming is lonely, and Stella mourns that it is especially so this week, coming home to an empty house. Reciprocally, Pip speaks of having been a farmer before she even decided to be one: she sometimes thinks she ought to break out but doesn't know what else to do; maybe that's what she's stuck around in Ambridge for so long. She admits that she is scared. Stella tells her she is brave because it takes bravery to admit you're scared. In fact Pip is a really impressive person. They loudly slurp more wine; Pip then mentions the giant marshmallows, which aren't going to toast themselves.

Being a sucker for punishment, Tom has gone over to Beechwood to make sure Helen is OK; it's not a good time, she tells him. Though he says they can't leave it like that, she has nothing more to say. He tries to cajole her: she must know Ian wasn't gossiping about her, he's just worried about her and so is Tom. She assures him there is really no need: she means it. Yes, it's been awful having That Man back in their lives, but it's over. She just wants to move on and focus on what's important, her family and her business. She simply doesn't have time for anything else. He defers, as ever, to her wishes, then prepares to leave; she says that since he's there, they need to make a decision about Fallon's lease: it isn't fair to keep her hanging on like this. When Tom says he's been trying to work out how they can make a longer lease work, she tells him they should just rip off the plaster: it doesn't make sense to tie themselves into a long lease when everything else is up in the air for them with Grey Gables. Fallon won't be happy, but it's the right thing for the farm and the family. Can Tom let her know? Helen is up to her eyes. When he agrees to do it for her she adds that it should be as soon as possible: best not to drag it out any longer.

Talk at the tent has turned to relationships; Pip doesn't really miss Toby because they weren't really together, but it was nice to have someone to chat to after Rosie had gone to bed. She hasn't had time or interest since he left to go out with anyone. Dating apps are just such a lot of effort. How about Stella? Is she still messaging the woman she met at her sister's wedding? No, she just hasn't got back to her. Not since... Ah, breathes Pip understandingly. Stella points out she can't not mention it when it's all she's thinking about, but she can't be all fun and flirty about a dead dog. She starts to cry, apologising to Pip as she does so; she buried Weaver today. Pip feels guilty for banging on about herself when Stella buried her dog this afternoon, and hugs Stella; no, she doesn't wish she had gone in with Rosie. On the pretext that Stella has some marshmallow on her cheek she licks it, then kisses Stella. Then she backs off and spills wine all over Stella before saying that she'd better go and check on Rosie, tells Stella just to leave the tent and everything for her to sort out in the morning, and flees into the night. Stella sighs resignedly.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 11th August, 2023

In which the grown-ups get sorted out from the over-grown children.

Characters: Tom, Fallon, Pip, Stella, Lynda
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Awkwardly, Tom is doing as he was told and telling Fallon that they are really sorry but the answer to her request is 'no'. He makes excuses and says sorry repeatedly; she is crushed but asks whether they might revisit the decision in a few months. He turns the idea down but assures her she is welcome to carry on with the old contract. She asks whether they are unhappy with the way she is running the tea-room; if they are she'd much rather they just say: she'd be very happy to take on feedback. Using his 'calm and reasonable' voice Tom tries to convince her that there is no issue with anything she is doing: he tells her that 'this is an us problem', a phrase she doesn't know, and when he explains it she is left as puzzled as before; what is the problem? He explains that they have a lot going on, as a family and as a business, and it's just not the time for them to be making long-term decisions. She swallows her disappointment with dignity and goes to get some cinnamon buns out of the oven.

In another awkward meeting, Pip has turned up at Home Farm to take Stella her rucksack. Stella does a reasonable job of talking as if nothing had happened, and Pip says she had better get back and measure the grass. Just as she leaves Stella calls after her unavailingly.

It is clear that Fallon has been badly upset; she has kept Lynda waiting ages, brings her tea instead of the cappuccino she ordered, and in her agitation spills some milk as well. Lynda, who is not stupid, realises that Fallon is in need of a break, sits her firmly down and goes to fetch coffees for them both.

It's Stella's turn to visit Pip, who really is measuring the grass. After some stilted conversation about grass, Stella says that she just thought they should sort things out after last night. Pip was hoping they could pretend it just never happened and Stella says that is one option, but when Pip says 'but you want to be a grown-up about it' agrees; she just doesn't want things to be weird between them. Pip denies that they are, but Stella knows better: Pip couldn't get out of the office fast enough and was waffling about measuring paddocks and ran away. Pip says she was embarrassed and Stella tells her there is no need. Pip is sure there is: she's mortified. She makes matters worse by saying she doesn't know what came over her; Stella understandably says 'thanks very much.' What Pip means. apparently, is that she doesn't usually go around jumping on her friends when they're upset; she's really sorry, she shouldn't have, it was the wine ... Stella cuts her off and while Pip burbles a bit, points out some facts. It was just a kiss. It's not a big deal. These things happen. It doesn't mean things have to be awkward between them for evermore, does it? Pip supposes not; so? Stella asks if there is any danger of a cup of tea, because her hangover's kicking in.

Under the soothing influence of Lynda, Fallon has relaxed a little and is able to tell her about the Archers' refusal even to consider her proposal for the future of her business. She thinks they are worried too, and want to keep their options open, though Tom said they were happy with everything she's doing. Lynda is sure they are: Fallon has built up a brilliant business, and the tea-room is a vital part of the community. Gloomily, Fallon wonders for how much longer; Lynda asks whether things are that bad, and Fallon admits they aren't yet, but if some big coffee chain opens down the road they really are going to struggle. They'll undercut their prices, plus why would you drive to Bridge Farm when you could get coffee on the main road into Ambridge? [Hollowtree is not on a main road of any kind. Chris.] Lynda tries to cheer her up by pointing out the difference between a chain and what you can get at Fallon's tea-room, without much success: Fallon says that a huge part of their revenue is footfall, and however you look at it they are going to lose that. The only thing she can think of to do is diversify: focus more on outside catering and bespoke cakes. Lynda is very sympathetic, especially when Fallon says this is a really bad time for Harrison to reduce his hours: he heard on Monday that the police had approved his application and he's over the moon. She's very glad for him, of course: he's worked like a dog all these years and deserves a better work-life balance. Lynda points out that Fallon too works very hard, but Fallon feels that is different: she is working at something she loves, so it doesn't feel as if work and life are two separate things. They are both just part of who she is. Lynda is convinced she needs time off, a holiday, and when Fallon says she hasn't really got the money to go for a bit of a break with her mother, offers to lend Fallon money for a holiday out of her savings. Fallon is very grateful, but really doesn't need a loan; Lynda has helped her so much by letting her rant. Lynda says it's there, should she change her mind. And in the meantime she is going to make it her mission to ensure that the community supports the tea-room. They can't afford to lose such a valuable asset.

Rosie has changed her mind: she now wants to go camping, but in a tent that doesn't smell and isn't older than Pip. Pip wonders whether she can borrow one rather than buying; Stella suggests glamping, and Pip reckons if they are going to do that they could just book into Spiritual Home. It might not feel much like a holiday with Kate always popping up to bully them into hot yoga , suggests Stella; on second thoughts Pip prefers Dad's smelly old tent. The two women giggle together, then Pip thanks Stella for coming over and making things normal again. After some to and fro about fault and blame, Stella points out that it wasn't just Pip, it was both of them, to which Pip rejoins that it was her first; Stella is not sure that's how it works. It was a fun night even if it didn't get as far as the actual camping: if Rosie's up for a re-run, Pip must let her know, because there is still half a bag of giant marshmallows that need using. Pip will see if she can persuade Rosie, and maybe borrow a less offensive tent. Stella agrees that's a good idea, then says she'd better get back. She thanks Pip for the tea; Pip thanks her for coming round and is really glad they're mates. So is Stella. They part in a friendly manner.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 13th August, 2023

Tracy nebs in all over the village, while Ruth organises an Event.

Characters: Ruth, Tracy, Oliver, Pip, Lynda, Adil
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Jess Bunch
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Outside the shop, Ruth and Tracy collide and pause for a chat. Neither can complain about her kids, but Ruth can and does complain about their B&B guests who have just left. Tracy gets an idea: Hannah has been kicked out of No 1 and if she doesn't find somewhere local that's curtains. Jazzer says they can't lose her at Berrow because Martyn Gibson won't get a proper replacement for her and he and Neil will end up working all the hours God sends covering for an incompetent. Has Ruth thought about a longer let? She is now! While they are contemplating the idea Oliver comes over wanting to talk with Tracy. Ruth says she'll have a word with Ben, who is in charge of the B&B, and let Tracy know, then leaves. Oliver, who has a question to ask Tracy, offers to get her coffee at The Bull, but she'll be working there later and would rather make him one at home.

Ruth has brought coffee out to Pip where she has been trimming a cow's back hoofs. [sic] The pair briefly discuss Rosie drawing the event, before Pip embarks on her complaint about not doing enough with her this summer. Toby plans to take her to the water-park for the day when he has next week off, and wants them to go to a Cornish holiday park by a beach in a couple of weeks. Ruth consoles her by reminding her that getting her off the farm at Rosie's age was difficult and Rosie is having a lovely time; Pip just wishes they had done something nice. The suggestion that she should take Rosie somewhere herself this week leads Pip to say that all her little friends are busy or away, and going to places like the safari park is better with other kids; Ruth says she'll see if she can think of anything. Ruth then mentions that she saw Stella looking at the notice board in case any dogs were advertised, which both women think is way too soon. Ruth encouraged her to take another trip to Italy and message that woman she met, about whom Pip is very casual whilst asking whether Stella is still with her; she denies having noticed whether Stella seems lonely or not. Ruth now suggests that Pip could do with a night out; she could ring Lottie, and Ruth could baby-sit. Pip is all for it, and will see if Ben fancies going too.

Adil comes back from a morning at his allotment, bearing radishes for Lynda; he needs to change before a conference call with 'The Owners' in twenty minutes, and begs her for a sandwich because he has forgotten to eat and won't be able to concentrate if he is hungry. She grudgingly agrees to make him one.

What Oliver wanted was to ask Tracy to apply for a job in a 'welcome rôle' at Grey Gables, which is re-opening in October; she apologetically turns down the idea, though he presses her. She is happy at The Bull; even though it's a lot less money, it's also less stressful than a big hotel. She thanks him for mentioning it. Oliver then asks about Brad's AS levels, which Tracy tells him are out on Thursday; Brad is pretending he doesn't care about them. That reminds Tracy: she must show Oliver his maths trophy from college. As she is boasting about his achievement Oliver's phone rings, a call he wants to take; she goes to find the trophy while he answers it. Adil's call with the owners went extremely well, and the launch plans have the green light. Oliver suggests that they need to have a chat about local recruitment, and Adil says he is particularly anxious to find the right events planner; Oliver is spreading the word among their previous staff: he hopes they might tempt some of them back. Adil hopes that he doesn't mean Lynda: living with her is bad enough, but he can't think how Oliver worked with her: she must have been completely unmanageable. Oliver protests: not unmanageable. Challenging, perhaps? Tracy coming back down at that moment, he suggests they talk about it in the office tomorrow. She asks who is challenging, and he stammers something about them needing an events manager, which is a challenging rôle. Tracy immediately tells him who would be good at events managing: Lynda. He says that surely she is now retired, but that doesn't stop Tracy from talking her up. Oliver says he will remind Adil. He swiftly says that the trophy is huge, and Tracy says that Brad is embarrassed by it and had hidden it under his bed, but she is going to put it in the front window so everyone can see it.

Ruth has had a brilliant idea: there's a new roller-skating rink just outside Borchester, and Pip could take Rosie to it on Wednesday, in the early evening. Pip temporises: she can't take Rosie on her own, she's rubbish on skates. When she went skating with her mum in Northumberland aged about ten she just fell over all the time. [The Archers all went up for Solly's funeral in 2002, but there is no record of Pip going to visit Prudhoe either the year before or the following year. Chris.] Ruth meant the two of them anyway: they both take her. Pip temporises again: can Dad cope without them? Yes; David is doing the milking and Ben has agreed to cover the barn event, a tea-dance. Pip is impressed and delighted: Ruth has sorted it all! That's fantastic! Oh, and Lottie's free on Tuesday night, if Ruth can babysit; she can. Pip rushes off to tell Rosie the skating treat in store.

For the first ever time on air Tracy calls Lynda 'Lind', a name to which Lynda strongly objects. Lynda has come to The Bull with Monty, and Tracy hastens to ask her about the [Hilarious. Chris] misunderstanding she has fallen into: what did Adil say? Lynda is baffled: what about? Tracy tells her that Grey Gables needs an Events Manager, that Tracy thinks Lynda should apply, and that Oliver was going to put forward her name to Adil for the post. Lynda is surprised: Adil has been in the house all afternoon and hasn't mentioned a thing, even when she made him a ploughman's panini. Tracy thinks perhaps Oliver meant to tell him tomorrow, and proceeds to try to sell Lynda on the idea, giving the results of her eavesdropping error: Adil said the job (rather than Lynda) was 'unmanageable', but Oliver thought it more 'challenging, but mostly in a good way'. Lynda needs very little persuasion to think it a post that would suit her very well, but wonders why Adil hasn't mentioned it: does he think she is past it? If anyone can manage the unmanageable it is Lynda: perhaps she needs to convince Oliver and Adil that there is life in the old dog. And she doesn't mean Monty, chortles Tracy; 'woof woof' yaps Monty, who is a Dobermann. Lynda thinks she may be forced to blow her own rather considerable trumpet. She sweeps, off no doubt to scheme.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 14th August, 2023

Ian ventures into the minefield; Lynda is laying a new one.

Characters: Ian, Helen, Oliver, Lynda, Adil, Kirsty
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Jess Bunch
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Helen is back from taking Lee to the station to set off for his flight to San Francisco. When Ian, who like Tom is a sucker for punishment, approaches Helen to tell her he has accepted Oliver's offer of a job, she is decidedly cool with him, especially when he tells her that since he hasn't yet signed the contract there is no point in her giving him samples of her cheese, and he will let her and the other candidates know when he wants those. She is not at all pleased by the discovery that even with Ian in charge of the food ordering, there will be cheeses other than hers being considered. When he invites her and the boys to a meal at Honeysuckle Cottage she says they can't come tonight, and she'll have to check about tomorrow. He offers to give her any help she needs while Lee's away, and she is distant about that too, as well as not leaping to his suggestion of a coffee together some time; she leaves with a casual 'see you around', and Ian sighs.

After he winds up a guided tour of Lower Loxley Hall, Lynda makes a point of approaching Oliver and ensuring that she knows how do deal with 'challenging' personalities and that her 'forté when it comes to events is more on the organisational side, however challenging the rôle'. After she has gone on in this vein for a while Oliver realises that she has heard about his telephone conversation with Adil, but puts his foot in it because he fails to realise the misinterpretation Tracy put on it, and thinks Lynda knows more than in fact she does. The result is that he ends up telling her what he actually said. She immediately asks him: if he called her 'challenging', what did Adil call her?

Ian calls in to Adil's office looking for Oliver, who has asked him to drop the signed contract in; this is clearly the first Adil has heard of it. Before there can be any seriously hilarious misunderstanding Oliver gets there, and after he has expressed his delight that Ian will be joining them Ian leaves, saying that he will ring Oliver tomorrow to talk through his hours, or should he ring Adil? He's not sure who's doing what. Adil mutters that makes two of them, as Oliver says to ring him, and thanks Ian: he is looking forward to them working together again. After Ian has left Adil resignedly remarks that was unexpected.

Up at the rewilding, Ian approaches Kirsty to share his worries about Helen. She thinks Helen is coping; when Ian tries to explain Helen having been offhand with him after the nastiness last week, and that when he saw her this morning she was just businesslike, Kirsty suggests that it's not a bad thing if she's focussing on work. However, she will pop over to Bridge Farm later and see if Helen feels she wants any more support. Ian assures her that anything Helen needs he will gladly do; she does know that? She gently tells him that Helen knows that too.

Sometimes one has to seize the moment, according to Oliver, and that is what he did by offering Ian the position as head of food without first consulting with Adil. Adil reminds him that should be interim head of food; Oliver says yes and goes on talking about Ian's qualifications for the position. Adil gets it; so long as that's the only surprise appointment Oliver has made... He breaks off and says, 'Damn. Quick, Oliver, shut the door, Lynda's here.' Oliver doesn't shut the door because he is explaining that their conversation the previous day was overheard, though he doesn't say by whom. The result is that Lynda is able to barge in uninvited and start browbeating them. She goes on about her knowledge of the private conversation between them, and manages to put them into the wrong and make them apologetic. She challenges Adil to produce a single example of her being unmanageable; rather than saying 'Now. And please leave my office; I was having a private business meeting' or anything of that kind, he becomes silent, while Oliver stammers out a possible thought: that at that very moment she is challenging their lazy preconceptions. She is proud about being the sort of person who always challenges lazy preconceptions, and so great is their fear of her for whatever reason that they end up praising her. Adil admits he is daunted by the idea of managing her as an employee, but butters her up about her hospitality as his landlady. As she starts to thaw, he says that he wonders whether she would be interested in organising their opening event; she turns the idea down because she's far too busy, and sweeps out. This leaves them wondering whether she accepted their apology, or indeed whether they actually apologised or apologised clearly enough.

As she promised Ian, Kirsty has gone to see Helen, having wangled a lunch-break for once. She asks whether Lee is in the air now, and they talk about him for a couple of sentences each before Kirsty asks how everything is otherwise and the subject comes round to Helen. How is she? She has been distracted recently and is ridiculously behind in the dairy, and her mum and dad are doing their best and they've got milking cover, and Clarrie and Susan have been absolute troopers – at least with Lee being away... She pauses, and Kirsty supplies 'you can focus?' Yes, Helen agrees; does that sound awful? She couldn't say anything to him, because if he thought for one moment she was getting stressed he wouldn't have gone. Kirsty asks whether she is in fact feeling stressed. and she says at work, a bit, everything else, not so much. Miles hasn't been in touch. Kirsty asks if there has been silence from Rob, to which Helen replies nothing since the diagnosis, thankfully. Kirsty points out that it is just a matter of time before the problem of Rob is gone for good; after a pause, Helen agrees. Then Kirsty makes her suggestion: how does Helen fancy a house-guest while Lee's away? She could cook for them, and they could watch the Lionesses over the weekend. Would the boys be OK with it? Helen assures her they would be over the moon, especially about watching the football. Should Kirsty come over tonight? Helen says 'Yes, please.'

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 15th August, 2023

Pip and Ben have a night out with mocktails; Henry plans a day out with Rob.

Characters: Lottie, Pip, Ben, George, Henry, Helen
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Jess Bunch
Editor: Jeremy Howe

On Pip and Lottie's girls' night out, Ben has gone to get the drinks for himself, Lottie and Pip. While he is not there it becomes clear that Lottie knows all about his possible difficulty with socialising, and that the evening will need to break up early; she reckons Pip is the world's best big sister, and also is earning a life-time of favours. Just as they start chatting, Lottie spots her new, also ex, bloke coming in and doesn't want him to notice her: since last week, she has found out he is in a relationship. She no longer does complications, so she is determined not even to speak to him, even though her determination physically hurts, according to her. She doesn't believe there has been no-one for Pip since Toby; despite Pip's stammering protestations she's sure there must have been. When Ben gets back with three mocktails, which according to Lottie make them officially the three most boring people in Britain, he is given a rather complicated set of instructions about where and how he is to sit in order to shield her from the man who mustn't see her; when he is told he is protecting her he understandably wants to know from whom, and when Pip tells him it is from herself and Lottie says it is self-protection, quite reasonably demands explanation.

Whilst they pack veg boxes at Bridge Farm George is telling Henry about Ed's hopes for his Texels at the county show, and how they are all going: Keira will be helping Ed in the ring wearing a white coat she made Emma buy for her; Henry understands Keira wanting to look the part. It will be a proper county show, and George is looking forward to it. Henry bemoans that his family never go to them any more, and asks about it. George gives him a run-down of what will be happening, and Henry asks whether it might be OK for him to come to the show with George and the fam [sic]; George doesn't see why not, though Henry had better check with his mum. Helen comes in at that moment to see how Henry, or H as George calls him when not calling him 'mate', has been getting on. George lavishly praises his help on the veg round and says how the customers love him, to which she replies it is good to keep busy. She belatedly wants to know whether Henry minds Kirsty staying while Lee is away, and he is agreeable about it because Kirsty and Jack have fun together and if she's around Jack doesn't pester Henry all the time.

Ben reckons that if Beth walked in he would do as Lottie has and hide. Pip is sure he is so not over her, and he agrees ruefully that stuff happened and you can't undo that. Lottie says smugly that she's not the only sensible person there, and Ben reveals that one of the other carers at The Laurels asked him out for a drink last week but he pretended not to hear her. The women find that outrageous, and he feels terrible about it: she's really sweet, but he's not ready. Pip accuses him of having blanked the poor woman, and Lottie tells him that he bottled it, to which Pip adds that he probably broke the poor girl's heart. Ben feels even worse and asks them to give him a break, and Lottie says his big sister is being very critical tonight, and asks him who Pip has her eye on. Ben asserts that he stays out of Josh and Pip's love lives, and doesn't want to know; Pip explains that there is nothing to know, and if Lottie doesn't give it a rest she will blow her cover by turning round and staring right at the bloke until he comes over. Lottie exclaims in horror.

Helen is now filling veg boxes with Henry's help and praising him for all he has been doing round the farm: she's not sure how they would have managed without him this past few weeks. He tells her he was going to help Grandad with his repairs, but Tony is busy with the harvest; Tom is bringing salads and too busy to fill veg boxes, but Henry thinks it won't take long and Helen agrees it's much quicker with two of them. He asks whether Lee will be with Mabel and Edie yet; yes, he landed early this morning British time. Henry then gets a message on his phone but says it doesn't matter, it will just be one of his mates in the chat. He asks whether he can go to the county show on Thursday with the Grundys, and Helen [forgetting that her whole life is under threat. Chris] says it's fine by her if they can take him. In fact she thinks it's a wonderful idea.

Back at Rickyard, Pip has made Ben a cup of tea, and he sees David's toy farm and can't believe Dad has actually lent it to Rosie. The child has been sternly warned by Pip that David loves his farm very, very, very much and they're just going to look but not touch, which was pointless because she's all over it. Ben says Rosie has no idea she is playing with fire, Pip says that if he tries to be cross with her David will be the one playing with fire because Pip couldn't have warned him more clearly, and Ben expresses a wish to watch the chaos unfold. She then wants reassurance that Ben didn't feel too overwhelmed and he doesn't think so, though he was glad they came home early. He has to be up tomorrow; he has too much to do to take late nights. In fact he had two B&B requests while they were out, and that is so much work: Pip had assumed it was pretty straightforward, but you have to check them out first [he has learned from his experience with Jim, then. Chris] and decide if you're even going to accept them, then answer all their questions about parking and local restaurants and so on, and you've got to answer them quickly or it looks bad. And then you have to prepare the bedroom and double-check food requests for fussy eaters. And last week a bulb blew in the bathroom and Ben was expected to replace it at two in the morning. Pip consoles him with the idea that at least it's decent money, but Ben is not so sure, by the time the commission's come off. Pip asks whether Ruth mentioned Hannah Riley moving in, but Ben is not sure that would make things easier: she'll want problems sorting pronto too, and he'll be busy at uni. But the money comes in useful for the farm, and Mum's got the barn to worry about already. He then starts to examine the farm, and in the process falls onto it. Pip finds this hysterically funny and says he is like Godzilla and it is a massacre, but Ben forlornly wants to know how he is going to tell Dad.

On the phone, George tells Henry it is fine for Thursday, and Henry confirms that Helen said it was OK for him to go. George wasn't sure because she checks up on Henry, messaging him all the time; Henry informs him that it's not always her, sometimes it's his stepdad sending him photos of America. George assumes he means Lee, but no: Henry means his other stepdad, the real one. This evening they have arranged that he's going to meet Henry at the show, so Henry will probably do his own thing rather than staying with the Grundys. George will be doing his own thing and catching up with his mates, so he's happy with that.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 16th August, 2023

Lots of fragility, lack of ability, Pip volunteers for hospitability.

Characters: Ruth, Pip, Stella, Ben, David
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Jess Bunch
Editor: Jeremy Howe

As they are getting ready to take Rosie to the roller-skating rink Ruth first wishes they were taking the child to the county show tomorrow and then tells Pip she won't need the thick coat which Pip has put on ready for when she falls over. Stella then arrives, having been invited on Pip's expedition by Ruth without Ruth bothering to mention it to Pip. This leads to awkwardness, with Stella and Ruth talking about skating they did in the old days and indeed as children, and Pip having very little part in the conversation. When Ruth goes to chivvy Rosie along, Stella and Pip each somewhat stiltedly asks whether the other is OK, before Pip tells Stella that Ruth didn't tell her Stella was coming and when Stella hopes that's not a problem denies that it is.

Mending the farm is proving more difficult than Ben had hoped it would, and he tries to without success to stop David coming into his room 'to see if he's all right'. David assumes that Rosie broke his precious farm, and at first refuses to believe it when Ben confesses that it was him. After he takes that in, he tells Ben to bring it downstairs so they can have a proper look at it. If it's just the base they can fix it together; when Ben says 'um...' he asks where the rest of it is, and begs Ben to tell him the animals aren't broken. When Ben reveals that mini-Hector has lost a leg and mini-Alistair has no arms David exclaims 'Oh, for heaven's sake!' and for a moment seems about to lose his temper, but manages to contain it and very calmly tells Ben to bring everything downstairs, please. They'll take a look in some better light, he adds through gritted teeth.

It is a great relief to Pip to sit down for a bit and stop roller-skating, though Stella is happy to take Rosie round again and does so, leaving Ruth to try to cheer Pip up; Pip is rubbish at roller-skating and keeps falling over. She can't imagine why she thought it would be a good idea, and also can't work out why Ruth brought Stella. Ruth sees no problem, and thinks it was a good idea because at least Rosie can go fast with Stella, which she wouldn't with either of them. Almost in tears, Pip says that she thought it was a family trip out, only for Ruth to tell her that Stella is family, pretty-much; Pip groans. Ruth is sure that anything which takes Stella's mind off losing Weaver is a good thing; she's had a horrible few weeks [Weaver was put to sleep on 4th August, today is 16th. I make that twelve days, not a few weeks. Chris] and seems so sad at the moment. Pip tries to suggest that Stella might need some space to process it all and might not want Ruth distracting her all the time, but Ruth tartly ripostes that if she didn't want to come with them she would have said. She was delighted when Ruth asked her and is clearly enjoying herself now. Pip groans again.

David is still unconvinced that Ben didn't jump on the farm; Ben assures him he fell, ask Pip, and David says that he will. His verdict is that it's not ruined, but it does need professional help. Well, skilled attention from someone who knows what they're doing. Ben reckons he could ask Leonard, which David thinks a good idea: he and Tony might have a fighting chance. Ben apologises again, profusely, and David is soothing: the important thing is, it was the gift tag from Dad that he didn't want to lose, and that is safe in a drawer: he wasn't stupid enough to give that to Rosie. Or since Rosie did nothing wrong, to give it to Ben; don't look so crestfallen, Ben: it's only Stuff. Ben is surprised: 'Wow, who are you, and what have you done with my dad?' David laughs and tells him demolishing the farm is not the end of the world, quite; all Ben needs to do is concentrate on getting ready for uni. Ben thinks that's easier said than done: he hopes he can get back in the swim of it, but says placements are the scariest. David wonder why, because he is really hands-on at The Laurels, and Ben says he might get a discipline he hates. David is now interested and starts to wonder what would be the worst placement; in reply to Ben's gloomy 'dunno' he starts to list them; each thing he mentions (older people, younger people, surgical, medical, community, mental health, prison) Ben seems to think is fine. In the end Ben has nothing left to claim to be afraid of; and as David points out, he will prepare as much as he can, and have a mentor, and his tutors; yes, but it that enough, frets Ben: will he cope? He has loads more life experience now, observes David, and lists some of the positive attributes his son has accumulated. In the end Ben has become more resolute: he'll be OK, won't he. David is sure he will be at least as good as the others, and most probably better – so long as toy animals and miniature vets aren't involved, in which case he's finished. They both laugh.

Pip really is not enjoying herself, and when Stella tries to jolly her along by suggesting another go round she refuses quite bluntly. Being told that Rosie has amazing co-ordination leads her to try to be more cheerful, but being jollied along by Ruth is more than she can tolerate and she is extremely short about the idea of being towed around by Stella; if she looks miserable all alone, as Stella tells her, that is up to her, she snaps. Stella goes back to see if Rosie wants any help, and Ruth is cross with Pip for being rude, and says it's as if she were sulking because she can't do it, but she won't even try: not a great example for Rosie. It will ruin the whole evening if the child sees Pip grouchy and giving up before she's even begun. If she can't enjoy herself she might at least try to look as if she is, for Rosie's sake. Pip, chastened, mutters that she's sorry; Ruth says a sarcastic 'thank you' and leaves her to it.

It seems the father-and-son confidences have continued in our absence: David is now aware that Ben is finding the B&B a hassle. Ben thinks Hannah staying long-term would cut the admin [has anyone bothered to ask her whether she wants to? Come to that, why would she want to? Chris] but he's already confirmed bookings for weekends in September and over half-term. It still needs someone to sort sheets and food and so on. David asks whether he would rather just focus on his uni work, but Ben doesn't want him to lose the income for the farm. Ruth returns saying they had a smashing time, especially Rosie, who now wants lessons, and asking after the tea-dance; Ben reassures her it went off OK. David informs Ruth about the potential problem with the B&B being too much for Ben when he is at uni. Before Ruth can react Pip comes in looking for Rosie's 'horsey' book, left behind with Jill, and Ben asks her whether Rosie needed propping up at skating, but Pip tells him that was her. Ruth immediately asserts that all she needs some proper practice to boost her confidence. David, who is still concerned about Ben, wants to know whether Pip has any thoughts on the B&B; she replies immediately that she only knows that Ben needs to hand it over. Ruth wants to know who to, and is told by Pip that she had assumed Ruth. Her reluctance causes Pip to say that she will, if it helps Ben out, which leads Ruth to apologise about having been a bit short with her earlier; Pip says it was her fault and takes the book to read Rosie her bedtime story, with David calling thanks after her. Once the door has shut behind her David tells Ben he can forget the B&B and concentrate on his course, for which Ben thanks him, saying that he is actually looking forward to it now before taking himself off to bed. Ruth, relaxing, tells David that it was a stressful evening: Pip had a meltdown and was rude to Stella. Ruth has no clue what's going on with her.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 17th August, 2023

George is conflicted, Henry is confused and Rob fumbles it.

Characters: Emma, George, Henry, Rob, Announcer, Eddie
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Jess Bunch
Editor: Jeremy Howe

In her car on their way to the County Show Emma is talking to George, first about Ed's chances in the show and then about Tracy having told Emma that Hannah might be moving into Brookfield, which displeases George. Emma praises George for looking out for Henry, whom George describes as 'all right when you get to know him'; he adds that Helen fusses all the time and it's embarrassing for Henry. Emma tells him she'd be exactly the same with their history. With Rob Titchener, she says in tones of loathing. Surprised, George enquires, 'The guy who got stabbed?' – Emma explains he was a nasty piece of work, on a whole different scale: good riddance! Looked down his nose at everyone like they weren't worthy to lick his boots, when all the time... She doesn't actually mention marital rape, but does state that she doesn't blame Helen for stabbing him. He was vile to her. She also reveals that Henry was present for the stabbing, which also startles George. She doesn't know how much Henry remembers, so George isn't to mention it. He's been through a lot, and she's glad George is keeping an eye. George sounds a lot less cocksure than usual when he says 'yeah, sure.' Emma sounds completely unworried about Henry doing his own thing at a small show, but George plans to keep an eye out for him anyroad.

At the show, George finds Henry waiting for Rob; Henry has bought Rob a keyring of a boat because Rob was quite a hero and saved people in the Ambridge flood, which surprises George yet again. No-one else says that, George tries to tell Henry: he ought to be a bit careful, because he doesn't know Rob that well and George has heard that folk aren't keen. Henry blames this on gossip, as per Rob. George is still trying to persuade Henry to come and join him and his mates when Henry stops listening because he sees what he is fairly sure is Rob. He says he will find George afterwards and goes over.

Rob is as smarmy as ever, flattering Henry to the top of his bent. He has got him a cold drink, and claims to know Lee. Henry tells him that Lee is with his girls in America at the moment, and Rob remarks that it's not fair he has gone and not the others: Henry would love the States and fit right in, a brave chap like him. [I have just realised that he is Long John Silver stoatdancing Jim. Chris] He asks what GCSEs Henry plans to do, and when Henry says he likes history claims that was his favourite subject too.

At the ringside, Eddie is concerned because he has put twenty quid on a mate, Big Jerry, in the family sheep-herding event, and the sheep are being decidedly uncooperative. Eddie reckons someone is distracting the sheepdogs as the sheep are moving towards the pen, and he wants Emma to scan the crowd with him and spot who is doing it. It has happened every time since the first bloke finished his go, but it's not him doing it: Eddie has been watching him. Jerry is up after the next family, so they need to spot the saboteur this time round and stop it in time.

Rob is now extolling America and talking about how big and varied it is. Henry asks if he is feeling better, and gives him the keyring as a get-better present; Rob says he will treasure it. George rings Henry and tries again to get him away from Rob, using Keira showing Ed's ewe-lamb shortly as an inducement. Rob instructs Henry to tell him they are having a nice chat, and then asks whether George is pressuring him; when Henry denies that, Rob wants the call put on speaker and tells George that Henry is fine, thanks him for putting them in touch, and tells him to get himself a pint and wait. George offers to come and get Henry and Rob lets his nastier side show, 'guessing' that Helen wouldn't be too pleased to know George arranged the meeting, and might even sack him, which frightens George. After saying he's sure Henry won't tell Helen, if George gives them some space, Rob says 'goodbye, George' and rings off. He then returns to quizzing Henry and praising his every achievement however small. His interest in Jack slowly becomes evident, and he is interested when Henry mentions them riding their bikes near Hollerton; Henry offers to show him where Jack nearly ran into a muntjac, which Rob thinks a splendid idea.

In great excitement, Emma tells the despondent Eddie she has spotted a woman she thinks is using a silent dog-whistle as the sheep approach the pen; Eddie sees this as genius on her part, and as Big Jerry and sons' dog approaches the pen with his sheep, sends her running to stop the woman from using the whistle. To Eddie's delight, all goes well; Emma comes back in triumph, having kept the woman talking until it was all over. Eddie will treat them all out of his winnings; and what's more, the event has given him a genius idea: a turkey-herding competition.

Rob is now trying to lure Henry into bringing Jack to a picnic, but Henry is put off by this and says he could come, but not Jack, and then that he ought to go because he shouldn't be there. Rob changes tack: he tells Henry that he is not getting better. He has a brain tumour called a glioblastoma, unfortunately for him; he's dying. Henry is horrified. Rob continues that his mother knows all about it, and the courts; spending time with his boys before he dies would literally be a dream come true. Henry assures him that he can; he can spend time with Henry. Rob is sure he wouldn't want Jack to feel left out, though; Henry says he would have to check with his mum, and when Rob insinuates that he is some sort of mummy's boy and asks whether he is scared of her, he sticks to his guns and continues to say no. Rob's tone changes to threat; he summons up his past with Henry, then says he is dying and would appreciate some respect. Henry shouts for George, and tells Rob he has to leave; as he does, Rob shouts after him in fury.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 18th August, 2023

Henry swims one kilometre; Helen thinks he should have run a mile.

Characters: Kirsty, Helen, Rob, Ruth, Tracy
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Jess Bunch
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Whilst they wait in the car-park for Henry to come out of the swimming changing room, Kirsty and Helen are praising him for having swum a whole kilometre, and asserting they couldn't have done that. Helen plans to celebrate with a takeaway tonight, and Kirsty has a momentary difficulty about finding where she parked her car; they chat about Lee's doings in San Francisco with his girls, who are determined to show him everything, and how he has nothing but them to worry about while Helen can focus on Henry and Jack, and how good both boys have been about making sure she doesn't have to. Helen says that Kirsty staying has helped: her family are great, very supportive, but she can trust Kirsty to be normal with her. Kirsty wryly accepts that she is extremely normal. Kirsty asks about Henry and the county show, because he went a bit quiet when she asked about it; Helen thinks he was just tired out. They plan the snacks for the World Cup final, and then Helen realises she hasn't collected Henry's swim-badge from the front desk; unsurprisingly, it is Kirsty who goes back in to fetch it while Helen hangs on outside for Henry. As soon as she has left to run this errand for Helen, there is the sound of a car horn being blown, followed by Rob's angry voice telling a motorist that he'll just have to wait: it's a car-park, not a race-track. Helen accosts him and wants to know what the hell he is doing there.

Tracy is delivering bottles to Brookfield for an eightieth birthday, and conversing with Ruth as she does so; Ruth tells her that she has decided not to offer the B&B room to Hannah because she isn't sure about having the B&B at all. She is starting to think it has run its course. [After being in use for a whole six months: Lynda came to stay and advise Ben in late February. Chris.] Tracy wonders whether everything is all right.

Rob asserts that the car-park is a public space; how was he supposed to know Helen would be there? Helen is going to phone the police until he reminds her that she can then explain why she has already visited him twice of her own volition. Helen is taken aback, and he follows up with telling her that she approached him just then, not the other way round. As usual he reduces her to a stammering wreck with a few sentences spoken in a very reasonable voice. He then accuses her of not having been in touch since his diagnosis, which makes her guilty again: she sharply reminds him that she saw Miles. Oh, yes, Miles was so sure she would be sympathetic, sneers Rob; as he starts to make what is probably a plea to see Jack she cuts him off, demanding to know what he is doing there: don't tell her it's a coincidence! He tells her that there is something she might want to know, as it happens, but again she cuts him off: she doesn't want to know anything from him. He recommends her to ask Henry; didn't he mention meeting Rob at the show yesterday? He was keen to hear from Rob. Helen calls him a liar, and at the same time Kirsty runs back and tells him to get away from Helen. Rob reminds Kirsty that he is dying: how much of a threat does she think he is? He is simply sharing what Helen's first-born has been doing. If it was him he would want to know, he hisses dramatically. Kirsty tries to get her to come away, but Helen now does want to know: what about Henry?

Ruth is sharing her doubts about Pip offering to take over the B&B: at the time it made sense, but she now thinks Ben might find it easier if it is just family in the house. Also she didn't appreciate how busy Pip is. Apparently Ruth thinks Toby's around to help [from Stratford, yeah. Chris] but Pip is busy enough as it is without the B&B. She and Stella had a fantastic time roller-skating with Rosie the other day, but Pip just sat at the side and was off with them all, which isn't like her. A bit out of reach, ponders Ruth. Tracy opines that stress can do that to you and Ruth agrees that was what she was thinking, so adding the B&B to the mix seems like madness. Tracy then says Brad has been the same over his AS results, which he got yesterday; he spent all week worrying about them, then he got top marks and is no happier because he is worrying that if Mia didn't do as well as he did it might be because he distracted her. [AS level exams were from 15th May to 27th June; Brad and Mia got together in July. Chris.] Ruth laughs over that, and both women decide things were more straightforward when they were that age. Still, perhaps without the added stress of the B&B Pip will manage to sort herself out; Ruth claims that all she wants is for her kids to be happy.

Rob is making the very most of Henry having arranged to meet him; Kirsty doesn't believe a word of it. He mentions Jack, and Helen, through gritted teeth, tells him he will not be seeing Jack. As Kirsty is trying yet again to get Helen to come away Henry comes up asking whether Helen has got the badge; Kirsty carefully tells him to go back to reception, and Helen, in less measured tones, tells him to go back inside; Henry, seeing Rob, asks what he is doing there. Rob greets him urbanely, then says he is sorry to tell tales, but his mother has a right to know where Henry was yesterday and what he has been doing. Helen, rapidly becoming hysterical, tells Henry to go inside. Henry is very distressed and tells him to shut up, and Helen tells Rob he's a liar. Unfortunately Rob is able to back up his account with knowledge he can only have got from Henry. As a result Helen starts to be accusatory towards Henry, but also tells Rob to get away from them or she will call the police. He leaves, saying that it was nice to see Kirsty again. After a short pause Henry says that it is all right: he has driven off. Kirsty says she will ring Natasha and make sure Jack is safely with her at April Cottage. She moves away to a distance to make the call, and Henry asks whether Helen is all right; she says she isn't: 'Henry, what have you done?' she asks with a rising voice. He is stunned: he has done nothing. She is having none of that: he contacted Him, he met up with Him, why did he do that? He said Henry arranged it? Henry tries to explain that he did but that's not how it happened. His halting explanation goes straight past Helen, who explains that Rob is the worst kind of person, he is dangerous, Henry knows that! Henry, despairingly, cries out that he knows almost nothing: she barely talks to him about Him, she keeps him in the dark. Helen gloomily asserts that He ran rings round Henry, and Henry once more says he is sorry, but that He was happy to meet up because He is ill and then when Henry was there said He was dying. That was his dream: seeing Henry and Jack before he dies. At Helen's sharp 'What?' he assures her that he said no, he'd never let him see Jack, and Helen goes ballistic at her son, asking why he can't understand that Rob doesn't care, He never did, He tried packing Henry off to boarding school because He wanted him gone! Hysterically she wants to know why Henry thought she wanted to get away from Him, and Henry, who has managed well so far, says that he doesn't know just as Kirsty comes back to say Jack is safely with Natasha. Henry says He says He wants to hang out with him and get to know him, Kirsty asks what is going on, and Helen tells Henry that Rob is a liar, and now so is Henry. Kirsty exclaims against this, but Helen is well away, screaming that Henry could have put Jack in danger: all that monster wanted was a son, and that is Jack. Kirsty says 'Helen' in a warning voice, and is ignored; not you, Helen tells her son, He doesn't want you. Tried past endurance, Henry once more tells her that he would never let Him near Jack: why won't she listen? He runs off shouting to her to leave him alone, and Kirsty tells Helen to let him go. Helen is now in a hysterical state, and Kirsty is firm with her: leave him, he's a child. Rob fooled him like He did them, and they are adults. As Helen goes on inveighing against Henry's actions Kirsty points out that he is the victim here, just like Helen was. He's been rejected again. How could Rob be so cruel? [How could Helen be so cruel! Chris.] Helen collapses into sobbing that she doesn't know what to do; Kirsty matter of factly tells her to stay there until she is fit to drive while Kirsty checks that Henry is OK and takes him to Pat's. She will see Helen back at home. Helen is left crying in the car-park: what has she done?

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 20th August, 2023

A cream tea and a right to-do (it's all kicking off in the tea-room).

Characters: Pat, Helen, Stella, Pip, Emma, George
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Pat and Helen are discussing the fact that Henry has not forgiven Helen for her treatment of him and is staying in his room. Pat, not having heard it, is inclined to forgive Helen for the way she attacked Henry on Friday, which Helen claims was because she just wanted him to understand that the only person Rob cares about is himself; Pat says Henry does know that now and never wants to see him again. Whatever game that pathetic man thought he was playing, it's backfired. Helen is sure that it hasn't and that this is all part of Rob's plan: he wants her to know he can get to Jack as easily as to Henry, whatever the courts say. Pat is unconvinced by this argument, and tells Helen she should talk to Dominic about the breach of the non-molestation agreement, which Helen reluctantly agrees to do after the weekend. Helen wants Pat to cover for her in the dairy so she doesn't have to see Clarrie, though even she admits that it was hardly the Grundys' fault and that's the reason she hasn't said anything to them about it: she does feel they should have kept a better eye on Henry, and Pat tells her that he would have managed anyway; from what he has said, he had it very well planned. Helen is surprised – has Henry opened up to Pat about what happened? What did he say?

At the Bridge Farm shop Pip is waiting for Rosie, who is feeding the goats with Tony, to come and choose ice-cream. Stella greets her; they have a stilted conversation about bringing in the last of the wheat at Home Farm and about Pip hoping Stella wasn't upset by her behaviour at the roller-skating: she was just out of sorts. Stella assures her the kiss was a stupid drunken moment and didn't mean anything to her; when asked whether it mattered to her Pip hastily denies that it did. Stella doesn't see that one silly kiss ought to ruin their friendship, and Pip doesn't want that either. They agree that the friendship is important to them. Pip then offers to get Stella a drink at the tea-room; Stella can think what she'd like and she will check that Tony doesn't mind watching Rosie.

Helen is pleased that Henry first got in touch with Rob to tell him to leave them alone, or, as Pat says, trying to protect her. Unfortunately, in her attempt to explain how Henry came to arrange to meet Rob, Pat reveals things less pleasing to her daughter: that Rob told Henry Helen had lied to him, or at least that there is another side to the story, and that Helen was not well. Helen starts to rant about things Rob said about her at the trial, which Pat reminds her the jury didn't believe and neither does Henry, who knows why Helen flew off the handle at him. Yes, he's going to be upset for a while, but the person he's angry with is himself for being taken in. Helen is sure there must have been some small part of him that wanted to believe Rob: why did he make such a big effort to see him? Pat now makes her really unfortunate gaffe: she tells Helen that Henry didn't arrange it entirely by himself. Helen of course now insists on being told who helped him, and Pat tells her it was George. He helped him find Rob on line and lent him his phone to get Rob's details. And the county show was sort of George's idea too: he agreed to take him along. Helen hisses that she knew it, she knew Henry wouldn't have done this without someone encouraging him, and flings out of the house in a fury slamming the door behind her, leaving Pat wailing that she promised Henry she wouldn't say anything.

Emma tells Pip and Stella that Fallon has gone to Whitstable with her mum; Pip says that at least she has George to help her. The two women are about to enjoy their cream tea when yet again the subject of the kiss arises and makes for awkwardness, which is smoothed over yet again. Stella wants to know about Brookfield closing the B&B; Pip says Ben hasn't got time because of uni, and though she did say she would do it, and immediately regretted it, there are only a couple more bookings and then that's that. Stella is not surprised Pip didn't feel able to take it on: she has seen her house. Pip indignantly says she hoovered downstairs only yesterday to make the house presentable for Toby, who will be staying with his brother this week before taking Rosie to Cornwall on Saturday. Pip then remarks that Mum mentioned Stella might be going away again soon with the woman she met at her sister's wedding; Stella hasn't done anything about it yet but maybe a week away later in the year; she fancies Sicily. She then notices that Pip puts the cream on her scones first and pretends outrage at the very idea. It is at this point that the door is slammed open and Helen comes in loudly demanding George Grundy: she wants to talk to him. Now. Emma it confused: why does she want to talk to him? Helen explains that he has been helping Henry get in touch with Rob at the county show, which comes as news to Emma, who is not prepared for Helen's accusation of her not having supervised Henry properly. However, George now emerges nonchalantly asking if Helen wants to talk to him, and when Helen launches into 'How could you! After everything we've done for you!' George pretends not to understand. She raves about giving him the benefit of the doubt and letting him work on the farm, to which he insolently replies oh, right, 'cos everyone's desperate to pick runner beans for them; Emma tries to call him to order. He denies he did anything and claims Henry made him help him, which neither woman credits, with Helen screaming at him that he is eighteen and Henry is twelve. He dismissively tells her to believe what she likes, and Emma suggests they might want to take this somewhere else. Helen isn't interested; while Emma complains that she is disturbing Emma's customers she continues to berate George about having trusted him, let Henry go with him to the skate park: he's supposed to be an adult. Has he any idea what she's had to do to stop that monster coming near them? George sulkily remarks that they all know what she did, which incenses Helen further if possible; Emma tries again to intervene, but Helen is now in full incoherent spate, claiming that Henry would never have done something so idiotic if George hadn't goaded him. George says at least he didn't lie to him: how come she didn't tell Henry his dad wanted to see him? Didn't he deserve to know? Through gritted teeth Helen tells the world that That Man is not Henry's dad, which calls forth insincere apology: George forgot, Henry doesn't know who his dad is. No-one does. Emma, scandalised, tries again to call him to order and fails. George, getting into his stride, speaks of getting knocked up with a turkey baster because she couldn't get a real man, being a crazy mare. Helen becomes incoherent with rage and Emma raises her voice to say that is enough, both of them. George enquires what Helen is going to do, hit him? She advises him not to tempt her, which satisfies him: and there it is, he murmur happily. Emma tells Helen she should leave, and George loudly says so much for the helpless female act. He starts filming, which he claims is for his own protection and which makes Helen if possible louder and shriller as she tells him to stop it and lunges for his phone. Emma is now serious: Helen needs to stop. This falls on deaf ears, since George, having successfully wound Helen up, now keeps her angry by putting on an aggrieved act and pretend to fear because she is trying to come near him, and asking who is threatening who. Helen tells him to shut his mouth, and, in effect, that he doesn't know what threatening means: does he think she is the threatening one, that she is crazy? George laughs and says 'Bingo' and than, as she rants on, continues to keep her on the boil with snide little asides and comments. Emma continues to tell her she needs to calm down, until Helen calls George a sad, pathetic little boy, at which point Emma tells her not to talk to George like that. Helen asks why not, since that is what he is, and wants to know if Emma feels proud of what she has created. Emma tells her that she knows where the door is, and she is to go and not embarrass herself any more. Helen furiously says she is going, and George mockingly tells her not to end the show now. Helen tells Emma that she doesn't want him anywhere near her son, and leaves, slamming the door after her. George remarks in awestruck tones that that was off the scale nuts, and Emma angrily instructs him to go and wait for her out the back: she'll be through in a second; George, all innocence, sighs the sigh of one who is sorely put-upon and does as he is told. Emma then tries to apologise to the customers and smooth things over, saying that is not something that normally happens here. She asks them to bear with her, and goes out to the back. Pip's reaction is 'blimey' and Stella wants to know that's all about, to which Pip replies, 'Rob Titchener, yuck' and explains that he hasn't been around for years, then prepares to tell Stella exactly what happened.

Meanwhile Helen has rushed back to the house and is crying hysterically at Pat, and telling her that she found George and lost it: she can't even remember what she said. Pat is sure it can't have been as bad as Helen thinks, but Helen tells her that it was, and it was in front of the whole tea-room. They'll all be talking, they all know... When Pat asks know about what, Helen sobs out about Rob, it's all anyone will be thinking about when they see her now. Why can't she ever escape?

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 21st August, 2023

Toby has fun, Pip has a stammering fit and Susan has some good advice for Emma.

Characters: Rex, Toby, Pip, Susan, Pat, Emma
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

It is clear that Toby has slept badly on Rex's boat, Serendipity, where he has occupied a bunk which folds down into a table – about which he complains. Rex has made him breakfast coffee, and he enquires how Rex lives in such a small space; Rex does know their father thinks he's lost the plot? Rex genuinely doesn't care, and just remarks that is why he doesn't work for their father and Toby does. He needs to go over to Lower Loxley and see to his pigs in a little while, and then they could go on a tour of the rewilding; Toby feels more inclined to go and sleep on Rex's bunk, until Pip turns up and reminds him that she was going to bring Rosie over first thing. Maybe he should put on some trousers.

At the dairy, Susan is surprised to see Pat instead of Helen; she takes the opportunity to tell Pat that nobody had any idea about Rob [not specifying what about him. Chris]; they were all so shocked when they heard. Pat tells her it's all right, but she has more to say: it's not all right. She's not saying George is blameless, and she wasn't there when it all kicked off in the tea-room, but Emma has told her that Helen really laid into George. An apparently unruffled Pat has the impression he gave as good as he got; Susan continues to make excuses for him, saying that he did only do what Henry asked him to do and thought he was doing him a good turn. Pat remains calm and says she is sure he did, and Helen knows she over-reacted, but when you've been through what she's been through, what they've all been through... Susan makes a sympathetic noise, and Pat breaks down and tries to go into the dairy to get away, but Susan stops her and gives her a paper towel. She has known for weeks that things haven't seemed quite right; she asks how long Rob has been back; Pat doesn't actually tell her, but says brokenly that they are back to how they were after the trial, and he is trying to get access to Jack. Susan doesn't think he will get it, but Pat is not so sure: it will be up to the courts. He's already got to Henry. When Susan tries to console her that is not quite the same, Pat suggests that it is even worse: thank goodness it didn't happen, but what if Rob had persuaded Henry to being Jack with him? He might have tried to kidnap him again; he is capable of anything. Susan is shocked: she hadn't even thought of that. It makes Pat's blood run cold; Susan's too, and she can now see why Helen reacted the way she did: she must have been beside herself. Pat says she still is, and also that she is mortified about yesterday, especially imagining what everyone will be saying, making judgements about her state of mind. Susan promises that if she hears anyone say anything she'll put them right. Pat tells her that is kind, but does she remember what the gossip was like before? It's going to start all over again.

The tea-room rumpus is also being talked about by Rex and Toby. The way Pip told it to Toby, Helen went completely berserk, screaming her head off at George. Rex is concerned; he didn't even know that Rob was around, and wonders whether Kirsty did: he should mention it when he sees her later, because it's bound to affect her too. He is then distracted by seeing a butterfly [anyone would think he was a Bridge Farm Archer. Chris] which he wants to show to Rosie, who is climbing a tree, and also photographs. Toby mocks at him: Rex Edward Fairbrother, child of the soil! [Oh, ha ha. The King Edward potato is indeed a child of the soil. Gus] In return Rex mocks him for his rosy cheeks and expanding waistline like their father's; Toby asserts that his alcohol consumption has gone down, not up, since getting into the wine business. He is normally in bed by half-ten, too; he is kinda done with the whole playboy thing. Rex snorts disbelievingly. He claims there is no more swiping right for him: he has joined a new site for busy executives. Rex also admits to having no sex-life: he must be holding out for 'the one'. Toby asks whether Pip is seeing anyone right now; Rex doesn't think so and wants to know why Toby wants to know. Toby explains that when he was flicking through the new app to show her, and asked her which businesswoman she'd choose, she got kind of weird. Rex thinks she is just very busy at Brookfield, and the subject is dropped when they realise Rosie is stuck up a tree, and Toby goes to rescue her.

As Susan is about to go home for the evening she assures Pat that Helen needn't worry about coming in tomorrow: she and Clarrie won't hold anything against her, though Pat is not sure she is ready to show her face yet. Emma then approaches them and when Pat says hello gives her a frosty single-word 'Pat'. Pat doesn't react to her rudeness, merely saying that Tony must be wondering where his dinner has got to and saying she wills see Susan tomorrow. As soon as she is gone Emma asks whether Helen came in today, and when Susan says no thinks that says it all; people can't believe it when Emma tells them what a scene Helen made. Susan sharply asks whether she has been gossiping about it, which Emma denies but says that everyone keeps asking and she's not having them thinking it was George that was only in the wrong [sic]. Susan sighs and asks whether he has been working today, but no, he wasn't going to risk being on the end of another mouthful: he messaged Tom to say he was sick. Emma then wants to know what Susan has said to Pat: she hopes she told her that George is owed an apology, Helen was completely out of line. Susan suddenly has no time for her and needs to get home where she is sorting through stuff for Sunday's car boot. They are getting rid of all sorts. Emma wants to look through it and doesn't have to be home yet, so she asks to go back with Susan now.

Pap asks after Rosie and Tony's day, which he tells her was great. He then mentions having seen and waved to 'wossername' who moved into Bert's. Pip tells him that is Stella, and then when he says Stella seems nice goes into stammering silliness and ends up dropping things everywhere before saying Stella is a really nice person and a friend of hers and mum's; he suggests perhaps she could introduce him some time.

The subject of Helen's iniquity and George's innocence is not going to be dropped by Emma, who bangs on about it and completely exasperates Susan. Susan tries to get her to talk about the things leaving the house instead, and for a little while they do talk about books; Emma finds Susan's copy of Lark Rise to Candleford, which was not meant to be thrown out and of which to Susan's shock she has never heard even though it was on telly. She now wishes she'd has a better education: she always wanted more time to lose herself in a good book. Susan offers her whatever she wants from the ones leaving the house; Emma picks up The Edge of Madness, which Susan dismisses as Neil's; Emma asks whether it is about Helen, and Susan tells her not to be so cruel. She knows full well what Helen's been through. Emma is of the opinion that it doesn't give Helen the right to go round dissing whoever she likes: Susan mentions that from what she heard, George said some pretty choice things as well. Emma immediately asks whose side she's on; Susan declares that she always stands up for George, which Emma apparently doubts, but adds that Emma has got to admit he can let his mouth run away with him, and reminds Emma that she herself ended up slapping him for what he called her. Emma at once says that's different, but Susan wants to know how; Emma is sure 'it just is' and for a start you say things in families you'd never say to anyone else. Of course she doesn't think it was acceptable, but she's not going to let someone else lay into him! He's her son. Is this Pat, did she get to Susan? Susan tells her not to be ridiculous; she just thinks Helen deserves a little understanding. She was trying to protect her son, too. Emma should imagine how she'd feel: she knows what Rob did to Helen ('it was awful' concedes Emma) and she knows he tried to kidnap Jack; he's not supposed to be allowed anywhere near them. Emma does indeed remember what happened and was telling George about it only last week. Well then, says Susan, imagine it was the other way round and it was George – or Keira – and someone had put them in danger. She gets why Emma wants to defend him, but sometimes you have to stop turning a blind eye.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 22nd August, 2023

Busted.

Characters: Natasha, Tom, Helen, Emma, George
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The noise of the milking means Tom doesn't hear Natasha coming up to him; he is surprised to see her because she had a meeting, but it seems the other party had to reschedule, and since Pat is minding Seren and Nova, Natasha has a rare free couple of hours. However, she doesn't want to do the milking for Tom: she has plenty of stuff she could be getting on with. First, though, she plans to go to the tea-room and treat herself to an iced caramel latte; Tom suggests that is brave, and Emma might slip more than caramel in her coffee. She responds that what George did was wrong but having a cold war with the Grundys won't help, and the only true villain is Rob Titchener. Tom wonders whether she will fetch the girls instead of him, and she declines to: she had them all yesterday evening while he was down the pub with Toby. She didn't mind that, but parenting is a joint enterprise. As she is about to leave Helen comes up; Tom thought she was avoiding the farm at the moment, but she needs to speak to Henry, who is over in the polytunnels. He is still quiet, according to Tom; when Helen tries to talk to him all she gets is a door in her face, or he jams his headphones on and she thought that maybe he would listen if she tried somewhere other than home. Natasha encourages her to hang on in there, prophesying that Henry will come round, then says she has to crack on and does leave; Tom advises Helen that she will get there but not to expect too much at once, then congratulates her on showing her face on the farm.

At the tea-room Emma is rushed off her feet, since she is there on her own, and then manages to drop and break a cup; Natasha insists on clearing it up, and is treated to a list of Emma's problems: the water-heater in the kitchen has packed up, and the dishwasher is playing up, so everything is a mess in there. Natasha wonders why she didn't find Tom or someone, since they would have helped; she even thinks they've got a tea-urn somewhere. Emma figured she isn't the most popular person with Natasha's in-laws at the moment, or anyone come to that; Natasha feigns ignorance and asks what she is talking about. Emma nearly bursts into tears, then explains that it is what happened with Helen: it was such a shock when she stormed in, and the way she went into George. You've got to stand up for your kids, says Emma [oblivious to the fact that what Helen was doing was standing up for her kid. Chris]; Natasha agrees that of course you have, but Emma explains that she's been having a tough time with George recently and then this happens, and even Susan, who is normally his biggest cheer-leader, is on Helen's side. Natasha murmurs that it shouldn't be about sides, to which Emma hastily agrees, saying that she feels terrible for Helen, who must be so scared; Natasha feels that everyone's emotions are running high, and what they need to do is pull together. She offers to stay till the tea-room closes and lend Emma a hand.

When Tom finds Helen later, she reports the Henry listened a little and has agreed to join her and Jack when they call Lee on the tablet later; Tom is encouraging. She asks how come he isn't milking, which he can't have finished already, but he has got Tony to do it for him so that he can go and harvest salad and veg. Before she leaves he asks if she could bear to have George working there to take some of the strain off him; what George did was dreadful and Tom is furious too, but they are really struggling. Tom feels it's another way Rob is making things difficult; Helen agrees to think about it.

The tearoom is not only tidy, some of it has been rearranged in a way which suits Natasha [and may even suit Fallon when she sees her arrangements have been changed. Chris]. Emma is extremely grateful for the help Natasha has given her. Natasha was wondering whether they have ever thought of bringing back the takeaway service, and Emma lays not having done so at Fallon's door: she decided it was just too much effort. Natasha sets out to talk Emma into the idea, but discovers that Emma doesn't have much say with the financial and business side of things because she's never run anything in her life. Natasha asks about what she did before the tea-room, and is told Emma did cleaning and worked at the Orangery, and the café Kenton used to run in town: catering is what she got her NVQ in, after flunking GCSEs with only a C for English Language. Tom sees them and comes over asking what Natasha is doing still around; Emma says she had best be off, and goes. Tom wants to know what has been going on, and Natasha says, 're-building bridges'. He then asks whether she saw the photo he posted of him picking the edible flowers; Helen took it. Hang on a moment, he'll show her; he thought it was something a bit different from what they usually put on the Bridge Fresh feed. He'll just open the app... What the hell? Look what George has just posted!

On her return Emma walks in on George gloating over a mix he has made from his recording of Helen; he is is too late to stop her from hearing what he had on and realising the voice is Helen. She snatches his phone as he protests that it is only a joke, and reads the title: 'Moment crazy Karen diagnoses herself'. George says it is only what Helen deserves; Emma starts it playing again and wants to know how long it has been up. He says not long, ten minutes, and she tells him he needs to take it down, now. He protests: it's funny. She doesn't agree: the whole word could see it. His defence is that Helen shouldn't have freaked out at him: she knew he was filming her, and if you ask him, she had it coming. What did she expect? Quietly, Emma says that Hannah was right. George wants to know what that stupid cow's got to do with it, and Emma reminds him that he is talking about women in a derogatory way. He reiterates that is what Hannah is, and Emma, increasingly angry, says no, she was his boss, and he didn't like her telling him what to do. He growls at her, and Emma continues sharply that it isn't just Hannah: Helen's a Karen ('Yes' from George) and calling Emma that hateful word... George interrupts to shout that she slapped him, and she admits that was wrong too; but she is clear that he's got a problem, it's what's in his head, and where is it coming from? She didn't bring him up like this; is it his friends, is it the internet, is it what he watches on line? He argues that she doesn't know what he watches, but it seems she does know about 'that so-called influencer': does he honestly believe that foul nonsense? There are some terrible, horrible people: is that who he wants to be? He falls back on 'you don't get it', and she bursts out that she can't do this any more: she's defended him up to now, but this! She wants him to delete that video. Now. Before anyone sees it.

There is loud banging at the door and Emma goes to answer it; when George asks if he should come too she tells him she wants him to stay there and do as she asks: take down that video! The banging continues, plus shouting.

It is of course Tom, who is furious. If Helen sees that video, which he doesn't think she has yet but if she does, it will destroy her. There have already been a couple of obnoxious comments on there: the same kind of sexist drivel she had to put up with seven years ago. Emma breaks in to tell him she is genuinely so sorry, but Tom sweeps on. Does George enjoy doing Rob Titchener's work for him? Emma defends him: no, of course he doesn't. But it's gone now, he's deleted it. Tom clearly doesn't trust Emma's word, and applies to his phone to check that; Emma takes advantage of his distraction to tell him she is as appalled as he is. The video is indeed gone, which Tom says is something, at least. He then shouts about George not even having the courage to come out and face the music, after which he very calmly informs Emma that she can tell George from him that he needn't bother calling in sick tomorrow: Tom doesn't want him on the farm ever again.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 23rd August, 2023

Toby is encouraged; George is rebuffed.

Characters: Toby, Ruth, Will, George, Emma, Helen
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

When Toby encounters her at Brookfield, Ruth is all dressed up to go and collect honey from Jill's hives; Josh was supposed to be doing it too, but some of his hens at Hollowtree have escaped and he has had to go and round them up. Toby volunteers to help in his stead.

It seems that George is to have it carefully gone over that merely having taken down his offensive posting is not enough; Will is very patient as he explains that the point is not the thing itself but what made him do it in the first place. George tries to argue but for once Will is not listening to his excuses. Will and Emma have had a long talk, and they both want to know why George thought posting that video of Helen was OK. George utters long-suffering sighs but seems aware that stomping out is not an option as Will goes on to ask what if Emma hadn't made him take it down and people had started sharing it? It's not just him and his little circle of on-line friends: thousands of people could have seen it; millions. It could have been out there forever. George's comeback to this is to ask whether Will knows she called him pathetic. Losing the opportunity to riposte that judging by his behaviour she was absolutely right, Will excuses her: she was upset. This gives George the opportunity to ask how come she gets to embarrass him in front of the tea-room but he can't post a stupid meme of her on line? Will is shocked; George goes on to ask if it is different because she's a woman, which idea Will rejects and then turns on its head by pointing out that George could have tried being more of a man and not risen to it. And it isn't as if Helen had been upset for no reason: George knows what Rob did to her. George mutters that's not his fault, but Will isn't going to let him off: he can still understand why she freaked out about him organising that meeting. George reiterates that he didn't realise it was the same bloke when Henry asked him to help, and wants to know why everyone is making excuses for Helen; Will sententiously explains that sometimes we all deserve a bit of compassion, especially when we've been through tough times. How would he have felt if someone had filmed Will when he was having his struggle? What if someone had stuck that on line for the world to laugh at? Would Will have deserved it? No, says George as one who knows he must say something whether he agrees or not. Why not? asks Will: that was pathetic. Not very manly. Not very alpha. George now claims that he gets it: Will doesn't have to go on. He was wrong to post the video. Will clearly doesn't entirely believe him and asks whether he really gets it. He has looked up some of the influencers George has been watching (at which George groans) and can see the appeal. All that money and flash cars and a string of disposable girlfriends: more fool the rest of us, eh? We have none of that stuff: we're cucks and snowflakes. Except it's all fake. George claims that just because he watches them doesn't mean he agrees with them; he just likes the stuff about it not being a crime to be a man. Will scoffs: is that what being a man is, having a six-pack and treating women like dirt? George explains that it's about taking charge and not being treated like dirt, and Will drawls back 'Is that so,' and gets an instant 'Yes!' He then asks what about real strength; what about being a protector, looking after other people, being kind? George snorts derisively. When Will says gently that he may not be the best rôle model and they all know what George thinks of what happened about Emma and Ed, George cuts in to admit that maybe he shouldn't have said that. But George did, Will says, and what he can tell George is that if he hadn't finally let go of his pride, if he'd put his anger and bruised ego above everything else, he'd have still lost Emma, and probably George and his family too. George still has a chance to put things right if he apologises to Helen; Will's not saying it won't be difficult but once he's done it he'll feel a whole lot better. Who knows? He might even get his job back. Incredulously, George assumes he wants him to grovel to her, but no: Will just wants him to take responsibility for his actions for once. George protests there's no way; he can't, he won't. He doesn't care what Will says.

While extracting honey Toby and Ruth talk, mostly about Toby's job: he is enjoying it, travelling around visiting restaurants and talking with sommeliers. He's off to Burgundy at the end of next month instead of his father, having convinced him that he knows his stuff. If it goes well he is hoping his father may step back completely. [Robin Fairbrother was born in February 1953 and had a heart-attack in August 2016. Chris.] Toby is confident he could run the business.

His talk with George has left Will baffled, as he explains to Emma; George just stormed off saying there was no way he was going to grovel. Will is sorry; Emma comforts him that he tried. Will did wonder about asking Oliver to talk to him, but Emma feels that George isn't listening to anyone. When Will points out the money Oliver's given George and that he could say the rest of it is off the table, Emma realises that would just be George doing it for the money, and he's got to mean it; Will ruefully concurs. Also George needs something to occupy him now he's lost his job at Bridge Farm: they can't take away his chance to set up his own business too. She vaguely hopes he'll be better when he moves in with Will; Will scoffs at the idea. Emma remembers Helen asking on Sunday if she was proud of what she'd created; she was right, Emma is really not sure that she is.

The honeycomb impresses Toby, and he finds the whole process of extraction satisfying, even sexy, which is not the word Ruth would use. He enjoys it but is not going to give up his success in business for it, but maybe he could combine the two and start selling mead. Ruth invites him to come for a meal at Brookfield on Friday night, with Rosie and Pip.

George will be having his evening meal with Emma and Keira, while Ed works late at Home Farm again; he actually offers to help serve the food, then mutters that he supposes Dad told her about earlier. When she says he did, George says that as a result he gets where they are both coming from and it was just for a laugh, he thought it was funny, not mean to be offensive. Emma sets him right: would it have been funny if Helen had seen it, or Henry, or all Henry's mates? Come on, he wasn't just doing it for a laugh, and there are a lot of things he has said and done recently that aren't funny; he starts to interrupt and she asks him to let her finish. Calling her ... what he called her, hurt her deeply, down to her bones, not just because he said it to her but because it showed what he thinks about women in general. George really wishes he'd never said that; Emma would hope so too, because he knows who else thinks like that: Rob Titchener. She's told him about Rob and how he behaved; George tells her that he does know, and she doesn't have to tell him: he's heard how he was with Henry. Emma wants to know why George wants to be a misogynist like him. Look, he's her child; she'll love him whatever he does; George tells her he loves her too, and she says that if he does, maybe he'll think about what she's said, because she's not the only person he's hurt, is she.

For some extraordinary reason Helen has let George into her house, but can't be long; when he says he was wondering if he could talk to her about what he did she hastily says she is in the middle of cooking and wants to know how long it will take. He says it will only take a minute and he just wants to say he's sorry. She waits. He says haltingly that he shouldn't have helped Henry: Mum's explained what Rob did to her. He shouldn't have gone along with it, it was wrong of him. He gets why she freaked out, and he's sorry for the things he said on Sunday and for filming her and posting it: he knows she isn't nuts, he was just trying to be funny. She repeats the word sharply, as a question; he says yeah, then goes on. Look, can they forget about it? He really likes working on the farm. After a pause, Helen simply says 'No', adding no, she's sorry. George can't believe it: he utters an incredulous 'What?' With a rising voice she tells him that maybe he can forget about it, but she can't. As he starts to say 'But' she overrides him: can he leave now, she really doesn't want him there. He tries to convince her he really did mean what he said, but she just tells him that she needs him to go. Now.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 24th August, 2023

Natasha wants to lose the upcycling, while Pip goes in for some post-BBQ recycling.

Characters: Pip, Toby, Stella, Tom, Natasha, Rex
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Pip is bossing Toby around as Rosie feeds the ducks: he has given Rosie, and the ducks are getting, some of the lettuce she'd intended for the evening's barbecue. When Stella sees them on her way to the village shop to buy rice for her planned risotto, and comes nosying right the way to the other end of the green to get an introduction to Toby, he invites her to join their evening meal, and after a noticeable pause Pip ratifies the idea, saying that Rex is coming too.

The twins have been put to bed by Tom while Natasha sorted the laundry; he's shattered. She suggests they should think again about George, and he groans when she passes on Emma having said George is genuinely sorry about the video: Natasha has been helping out in the tea-room again, and has been told that he did try to apologise. Tom is of the opinion that sometimes and apology isn't enough. In any case, it's up to Helen: until she decides to forgive him, Tom is certainly not going to. When he saw her today she told him she'd spoken to Dominic about Rob breaking the non-molestation order, but got little joy because Rob technically didn't break any rules. Since Helen admitted she and Henry approached him, they don't have much of a leg to stand on; Helen wants to update the protection order to include Henry. Natasha thinks it is all a nightmare, and Rob makes her skin crawl. Natasha knows Tom doesn't approve, but it has been quite an eye-opener working in the tea-room: she isn't convinced Fallon is making the most of its potential. [Nor is Fallon; that was what she wanted to talk with Tom and Helen about and was snubbed so thoroughly. Chris.] They could fit in more tables if the upcycled furniture were not there ... Before she is in her stride a baby starts to cry, and Tom has to go; he tells Natasha to hold that thought: he'd like to know more.

At the barbecue Toby is showing off his knowledge of wine until Pip orders him to go and attend to the burgers while she pours the drinks. Stella asks the origin of his expertise and is told that his father is the real expert. He asks her whether she is like Pip, with a farming family, and is told that he father was a lorry-driver and now owns a haulage firm, while her mother is a hairdresser; she then shows off her knowledge of him and his having lived in the village, but when he starts to tell her about his meeting with Pip, Pip takes exception and says that is enough. Luckily before they start to squabble badly Rex appears, surprised but not unhappy to see Stella; he sounds unimpressed when Toby tells him they have been reminiscing about his and Toby's early days in Ambridge, Stella now asks what brought them to Ambridge and is fed the usual line about their grandfather having owned a lot of land round there, thus giving the impression the family were local landowners for more than eight years, which they weren't. He wasn't a farmer himself, and Pip's grandfather ran it for him before marrying his daughter. Stella is confused, and Pip explains that her grandfather married their grandad's daughter, who then died before Rex and Toby's father was born. Stella exclaims that there is history between the Archers and the Fairbrothers before Pip and Toby, then; Rex coughs, and Toby suggests there must be some sort of cosmic attraction drawing them together, to which Pip adds that if there is, it never ends well: it's clear this is a subject she would rather avoid, since she then asks whether the burgers are ready yet. Toby asks where the buns are and is told they are in the kitchen where he left them; when he asks what else they need, the list begins with plates, salad, condiments, so Stella offers to give him a hand bringing things out.

The meal at April Cottage is a more quiet success, and Natasha talks to Tom about the tearoom. They should be selling the upcycled stuff on line and fitting in ten more covers; the more people visit the tea-room the more will pop into the farm shop, and vice versa. Look at all the things they've been doing to turn the place into more of a destination; so they are driving customers to Fallon, and what is she doing for them? She could use more of their products. Tom defends her: what isn't theirs is still organic; Natasha however can see 'so many more synergies'; like a loyalty scheme, ten per cent off for Bridge Box customers [who pays for that? Fallon? Chris]. Or how about ready meals? Simple things like lasagne [someone please get it through to the Archers team that lasagne is not simple; or at least that it is a labour-intensive faff. Chris] or shepherd's pie, and they could deliver them with the boxes. Tom reckons that could work; maybe they should talk to Fallon when she gets back. Natasha is not sure, because from talking with Emma she has the impression Fallon is not really interested. She doesn't want to barge in and tell her how to run a business, but the tea-room is an integral part of the 'wider Bridge Farm offer'; she is just saying they need to think about it.

Things at the barbecue are focussed on Toby's previous time in Ambridge and how he had sex with Kate when Pip was eight months pregnant, though as Stella points out they were not still together at the time. It was very on and off as a relationship; Toby asserts that was because Pip kept dumping him, and she indignantly asks whether he wants to go over why she kept dumping him, to which he replies 'no' and Rex at the same time says 'ooh, yes, yes, let's do'. Toby admits he was a very bad boyfriend, but Pip kept on coming back for more. Stella for some reason says 'as long as you know what you want now' and Rex announces that what he wants now is his bed. He tries to get Toby to leave with him but fails; Stella agrees it is late and she should go or she will never get up in the morning, and Pip adds that it is well past Rosie's bedtime. She suggests Toby might like to stay and put Rosie to bed: she'd like it if he did. There are a lot of valedictory remarks among the four, including Stella saying quietly to Pip that they're going to put the last couple of weeks behind them, an idea which Pip thoroughly approves.

After Toby has got Rosie settled down and read her the same story many times over, Pip pours more wine for both of them: they've run out of his good stuff so it is just her cheap plonk, which he doesn't mind. He mentions that Stella is great and he can see why Pip likes her so much; Pip asks if he does know she is gay, and enumerates her good qualities. This leads Toby to ask if she is a bit jealous, and then whether there is something here again; tell him if this isn't what she wants, because he doesn't want to spoil what they've got, he murmurs seductively. She doesn't want to spoil things either, so they start to kiss and nearly spill Pip's wine. He thinks it may be a bad idea and perhaps he'd better go, but Pip reminds him that it isn't something they haven't done before and adds 'I want to'. Come here, she orders him, and there is more slurping.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 25th August, 2023

In which we learn that everyone (except Toby) deserves a second chance.

Characters: Susan, Helen, David, Ruth, Pip, Toby
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

In the afternoon Helen has come in to work at the dairy and gives Susan a shock by suddenly appearing; Susan gossips for a bit about the refurbishment of Grey Gables (in which it is clear Helen is not really interested), and then seizes her moment to plead George's cause and assert that he is really sorry and didn't apologise just to get his job back, but Helen states that simply doesn't want him on the farm. She can't change how she feels.

Cooking is underway at Brookfield, with Ruth marinading lamb chops; Pip wants to know when this meal became a 'whole family' thing, with Leonard as well as Josh and Ben; Ruth thought it would be a nice way to round off Toby's week in Ambridge, especially for Rosie. David agrees that it's not often they are all together, just as a knock on the door heralds Toby's entrance. He greats David with fulsome enthusiasm and when offered a drink opts for a soft one: they got through quite a lot of wine last night. Ruth informs him that explains why their jollity could be heard across the yard, and Pip tries several times to get away; her parents abandon her in the kitchen with Toby. There is an awkward pause and a few desultory remarks, then as Toby is about to go and join the rest of the gathering Pip apologises to him about last night. He apologises back, for having shagged and left, giving the excuse of not wanting to confuse Rosie by being there in the morning, not to mention that when he got back to the boat Rex was still awake and interrogated him about what had kept him so long. Pip asks in horror whether he told him, but Toby just said they had been going through everything Rosie needs for their holiday. It's fine, he tells her: we're all good. She expresses doubt about that and tells him she didn't set out for them to sleep together, and he says he wasn't planning it either; he thinks they should talk about it, but suggests not when they're surrounded by the entire family, and at once goes to see Rosie, leaving Pip stammering. [If the loathsome brat intended to tell him then, just before a prolonged family meal that he had to attend, that she felt nothing for him and having sex with him was meh, she truly is unspeakable. Chris.]

Not content with talking to Helen at work, Susan has now gone round to Beechwood because she has been thinking about their chat earlier. Helen lets her in because they have just finished supper, but does not want to discuss it; Susan just wants to promise Helen something: there isn't any way she is going to let her grandson go down a bad path [and she plans to stop him how, exactly? Chris] and nor will Emma, nor Will, nor any of them. What's happened has been a bit of a wake-up call. Maybe not for Neil, who's had his concerns for a while, but the rest of them. That's all she came to say and she'll leave them in peace. However, Kirsty has gone out for the evening so Helen now invites her in for a while because she could do with some adult company.

Toby is helping Ruth and David to clear up. He praises the cooking and voices envy for their guests in the barn, but Ruth disclaims: they have caterers for that. David portentously informs him that they lost their drinks supplier last week because they went bust, and are relying on The Bull in the short term. They are going to have to find someone else. Toby's ears prick up: if they need him to supply them with wine, he offers suggestively. They feel that it's too small a business for him to be interested, but he is sure he could provide them with some wonderful, good value wine. David expresses great interest, especially when Toby tells them he will only charge them trade price. Pip then brings through some dirty plates and is told about this offer, to which her response is, 'Well done, Toby. You never miss an opportunity'. She is immediately told by Ruth that he has just said he's not going to make a profit, and he wants to know what the point is of being a wine merchant if you can't do your in-laws a favour. Pip pointedly asks since when they were married, and he wriggles out by saying 'my daughter's grandparents'. Ruth asks Toby to take the cheesecake through to the dining-room, and Pip to take the hedgerow pudding and sends them off together.

At Beechwood, Susan and Helen's chat moves, via San Francisco and Lee being there and the difficulty of having children far away from you, back to Susan saying she was curious what Helen thought made Rob the way he is: was it the way he was brought up, or was he just a bad seed? [Might have been nature and nurture, judging by his parents and brother. Chris.] Helen doesn't know, but feels there was something missing, some sort of dark void that can only be filled by degrading other people. Susan assumes she means women. Helen thinks it is the only way he can feel powerful. Susan reverts to her preoccupation with George, saying that she doesn't think he is like that, or at least she hopes he's not, and it frightens her to think he ever could be. Helen doesn't think he is either, but Susan sighs and opines that you can't ignore some of his behaviour. Their family has its bad eggs: look at Clive. Helen is clear that you can't compare George with Rob or Clive, though she was really shocked by some of the things he said. She wishes though that she had approached him differently. Susan assures her that no-one is blaming her; Susan just hopes that George can turn himself around. Helen feels everyone needs time to grow; they all need to be kinder to each other, and she recognises it took a lot for him to come and apologise to her. In fact, why doesn't Susan tell George he can have his job back? Everyone deserves a second chance.

A conversation between Pip and Toby on their own is finally taking place out in the garden. He has been very happy being around Rosie all week, but it still isn't the same as being around regularly. He knows they said last night was just, well, one night (she fervently agrees) but she has to admit it was pretty damn good. He's not fishing for compliments, but she must have felt it too, that spark. He wasn't expecting this either and he thought they were just going to have fun for old times' sake, but when you think about it ... They'd have to take it slowly, especially with Rosie, because they wouldn't want to get her hopes up. Pip tells him it's not as simple as that, and he wants to know why: it wasn't lack of chemistry that made them split up, it was him, and he is different now. He's finally grown up. And he knows it's mad, but neither of them is in a relationship: tell him why they shouldn't at least give it another shot? Just as she is about to come clean to him David sticks his head out of the door wanting to know if they are coming in for coffee, then clumsily apologises for interrupting and rushes back indoors. Toby reasonably says he is off in the morning: why don't they give themselves a week to think about it, and discuss how they feel when he gets back? And they'd better go inside before tongues really start wagging. Pip tells him to wait; she's sorry if she gave him the wrong impression, but as far as she is concerned last night was a mistake. She came on to him and she shouldn't have done. She's been in a weird place recently and shouldn't have messed with his feelings. He retorts that he knew what he was doing, and he really doesn't think it was a mistake. She informs him that she didn't feel anything. Not for him. She's sorry if he thought she did.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 27th August, 2023

Susan and Ruth don't 'alf go on.

Characters: David, Ruth, Pip, Susan, Tracy
Credited scriptwriter:
Caroline Jester
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The Brookfield Archers are clearing up after a wedding at the Events barn; David has never seen so many wine bottles. Pip had forgotten about helping with the B&B laundry later: Ben has gone out, which sign of normality has pleased Ruth and David. Ruth takes the empties away while Pip starts trying to fold a table; she is embarrassed when David starts talking about Toby supplying the wine from now on. She manages to catch her finger in the hinge of the table, and it starts to bleed; she then snaps at David when he shows concern. He thinks it a shame she couldn't take a break with Toby and Rosie, and suggests the farm could manage without her if she wants to join them later; she asks him to stop going on about Toby, and he is determined that they need to put a dressing on her finger.

Tracy is helping Susan to set out her cast-outs at the car boot sale, with Susan determined to make a display and congratulating herself on how much better the house looks without all the clutter. She feels it's good to be out in the fresh air after all the tension at the dairy, and Tracy can't believe Rob Titchener is back in the country bothering Helen again, and as for that video George posted... Susan cuts her off, saying that's been dealt with, and asks her whether she is all set for Wednesday. It becomes apparent that Tracy is not making a massive fuss over her actual wedding, having gone through all the dressing up and party first time round even though the ceremony itself didn't happen; Susan is not happy about her not having organised anything and wants to make a list of things that need doing.

After wedding napkins have been used to staunch her wound, Pip's finger has stopped bleeding and David thinks she'll live. He doesn't like to see her unhappy, and when she asks him to leave it says ominously that if Toby has hurt her he needs to know. She quickly informs him that she is the one who has hurt Toby; she led him on. When David interrupted them, she was telling Toby it wasn't going to happen again. She's got feelings for someone else. She used Toby and played with his feelings, and he didn't deserve that. David does his best to reassure her that making sure Toby knew there was no future for them was the right thing to have done. David asks if the other person knows about the, um, 'incident'? Pip tells him its more complicated than that: she might have messed up there as well. David refers to this 'other' as 'he'; Pip says 'they' rightly think she is an idiot, and now she's made things a thousand times worse. David points out that these things happen, and life can be tricky; he offers himself as an example of someone forever getting it wrong, and yet he and Ruth are still together. Does this other bloke know how she feels? After a tense moment, Pip comes out with 'He's a she, Dad.' Light dawns on David, who says he had no idea that she had feelings for women that way: he didn't know she was gay. She doesn't know what she is.[Many of us could make a few suggestions, which you might not like. Chris.] David is worried that came out all wrong; it just took him a bit by surprise. She feels she shouldn't have told him like that, but he is glad she did, and when she moans that she is doing everything wrong he asserts that she is not doing anything wrong, then asks anxiously if he is. He then wants to know whether she doesn't know Pip has feelings for her, and Pip says she doesn't; very gently he suggests that maybe the first thing is to tell he, and find out if she feels the same.

Although things are selling at the car boot, Susan is really only interested in discussing details of Tracy's wedding, while Tracy keeps on trying to stop her by disputing the need for things like a cake or other people to hand them the rings they are already wearing. Tracy is not prepared to waste money on something they have already done, while Susan thinks they have left it all a bit late. When Tracy tells her they are planning just to wear their normal clothes, Susan is indignant: she's not having her sister getting married in a pair of leggings! As a concession Tracy agrees they could wear the same as last time, except she has spilt something down the dress; Susan at once volunteers to get it clean. In desperation Tracy tries to convince her that they just want it really simple, but Susan has already thought of another thing: what about flowers? Have they thought about those? She wishes Tracy had told her earlier that she'd done nothing; Tracy indignantly replies that she has done nothing because there is nothing to do; people would think her a bit odd if they saw her parading around in a wedding dress weeks after she got married. Susan abruptly decides they are packing up: she is going to help sort everything out. Tracy can go through to see if there is anything she wants, and the rest can go to a charity shop.

Having forgotten about them earlier, Pip is delivering the sheets late; Ruth suggests that she should go and have an early night. Ruth and David will sort everything out. Pip feels she has let them down, but David tells her firmly that she hasn't let anyone down and Ruth, after saying she will arrange a couple of morning Pip won't have to milk so she can have a lie-in while Rosie is away, packs her off back to Rickyard Cottage. Once she is gone Ruth starts to talk about being sure there is something going on to make Pip uncharacteristically forgetful, and David's cagey manner when she starts speculating about it quickly tells her that he knows more than she is saying; he has told her about Toby, and about there being someone else, but Ruth wants to know why she couldn't talk to Ruth about it [and the whole listening audience laughed heartily at the idea that anyone would talk to Ruth about something sensitive. Chris]; it's bugging her. By forbidding him to lie to her when he says he doesn't know anything else, and saying she's worrying, and that if something is troubling Pip she needs to know, she has shortly got out of him what really is none of anyone but Pip's business: that the other person she has feelings for is a woman. She reckons that's OK and hopes David did tell Pip it was OK; he says he did, and that the reason he didn't tell Ruth was because he didn't want Pip to feel she couldn't confide in him. And he is not sure he got it right; Ruth reckons that if Pip opened up to him he must have handled it OK. He's a wonderful dad. And so that's what's been eating away at her all this time; in a way Ruth is relieved it's not Toby: Pip needs someone she really gels with, and it must be someone pretty great if she's this mixed up about them.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 28th August, 2023

Emma creates embarrassment and Tracy manufactures a row.

Characters: Jazzer, Neil, Hannah, Tracy, Emma, Adil
Credited scriptwriter:
Caroline Jester
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Berrow Pig Unit is going to have to do without Jazzer on Wednesday, but Neil puts a brave face on it – so long as he actually gets married this time. He has also agreed to put Jazzer up on the night before, since Tracy is being superstitious about them seeing each other. When Hannah comes in Jazzer tells her the kettle is hot, and she says they will have to dig the pigs a new wallow; she also says that everything seems hard at the moment. Jazzer asks whether there is anything he can help with, and the three have what is evidently not their first discussion about Hannah needing to find somewhere to live; even if Brookfield had been possible, a B&B isn't a home, and the few places around are so pricey: she thought she earned enough to live OK, but it's worse than she's ever known it. She might have to move away and move in with her mum. Jazzer feels that would be a hell of a commute, and Hannah says she wouldn't be able to; she might have to leave Berrow. Jazzer suggests she could always kip on their sofa, or put up a tent in the garden; she thanks him for what was clearly a joke, though she hopes it doesn't come to that.

Meanwhile Tracy is blagging any cake left over on Tuesday evening from Emma, for Wednesday, since Susan is determined she and Jazzer have to cut a cake. Emma is upset by the idea of a left-over cake for Tracy, but as Tracy points out, they have already had their cake, and eaten it. Fallon is back from her holiday, which is a relief to Emma; all the drama with Helen was awful, watching her go for George like that and then him going and humiliating her with that stupid video. Emma thinks he did apologise in the end. Tracy advises her to give him what for every time until he learns, and meanwhile Fallon can deal with any tea-room drama this week. Tracy suggests she ought to apply for a job at Grey Gables, such as Head of Housekeeping, which she proceeds to talk up while arguing that Emma is perfect for it. Emma is aware that she is not qualified for that job, but Tracy persuades her to apply for it, and then when Adil comes in Tracy tells her she must quiz him about it while he is there.

Neil and Hannah have decided where the wallow is to be dug, and Neil expresses regret that he can't be more help to her about somewhere to live and surprise that Will has decided to evict her; she is resigned about that, it being his house at the end of the day. Neil is still angry about 'all the nonsense with George', and apologises to her on the grounds that if he hadn't sacked George he wouldn't have it in for her, nor have had a bust-up with his parents so that he wanted to move out; he's sorry that she has had to suffer the fall-out from it all. She appreciates his effort, but there's no use crying over spilt milk and what she needs now is to focus on finding somewhere to live. Neil growls sympathetically.

Emma harasses Adil about the housekeeping job [in a way I find too damn' cringemaking and cushionable to bear to write down in any detail. Chris]. He retains his temper and is polite to her, merely informing her over and over again that the information she is trying to get out of him is all on the website. He eventually tells her that he really needs to get on with a few things, and she leaves him in peace.

Hannah has taken refuge in the Bull for a pint of cider, and Tracy tells her she is keeping an eye out for anywhere that might suit her; Hannah replies that she and Jazzer have been diamond, on the grounds of Jazzer's offer of their sofa. They're a life-saver, the both of them. Tracy is taken aback, and Hannah laughs and adds that Jazzer is so funny: he even said they could put up a tent in the garden for her. Tracy rather bitterly agrees that he's a hoot, then pursues the matter of the sofa: is she planning on staying with them, then? Hannah hopes it won't come to that, but just knowing that she can crash at theirs for a few weeks ('a few weeks?' exclaims Tracy in horror) is such a relief, having that safety-net. He even said he'd give up his bed! Tracy's reaction is not favourable to that idea.

The row ensuing from this conversation is not long delayed: Jazzer is dozing in front of the TV when Tracy turns it off and tells him that Hannah came into The Bull earlier for a cider. Jazzer opines that Hannah could drink them all under the table, and Tracy says sweetly that she said she and Jazzer had had a few sessions together over the years. Jazzer agrees that they have, whereupon Tracy suggests they can start a club when Hannah moves in. The idea of her moving in startles Jazzer, and it becomes clear that Tracy is spoiling for a row: anything he says is going to be the wrong thing. Doesn't he think he should have checked with her before offering Hannah their house? He protests that all he said was that she could kip on the sofa, and when Tracy mentions it not being just the sofa but also their garden and their bed says that was just a joke; he honestly didn't think it would be a problem. Tracy can't understand how he didn't see that it would be: the house is rammed already and Bert likes to take over (or at least have the use of) his living-room. And the kids, what if they want to have friends over? And her, if she gets in late and wants to put her feet up? Jazzer realises that although he was just trying to be thoughtful, he should never have offered. He makes excuses, which only serve to annoy Tracy further, particularly when he foolishly admits to having had a crush on Hannah when he was young. She is incensed by this: why has he hidden it until now? If he is only telling her about it now, what else is there to come out? He begs her to stop, but she is now in full flight, full capacity, and is furious that he has got her asking everyone if they have a room for Hannah. They must think she's a right mug and be laughing behind her back. Look at her, Jazzer's got her making sure his other woman can stay close by! Desperately, he reminds her they are getting married on Wednesday; she wants to know whether they will be. What else hasn't he told her? Was he waiting till they were married before telling her everything? Finally she goes off to bed, in her bed, leaving him to test out the sofa for Hannah, since she's going to be spending so much time there.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 29th August, 2023

Brad is the most adult at 6, The Green, and Emma faces a set-back like a grown-up.

Characters: Brad, Jazzer, Tracy, Adil, Oliver, Emma
Credited scriptwriter:
Caroline Jester
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Over breakfast Jazzer and Tracy are having one of those stupid conversations in which each asks a third party, in this case Brad, to tell the other things. Brad is confused and wants to know why they are both acting weird; neither gives him an answer to that.

The small number of applications for the Grey Gables jobs surprises Adil; Oliver thinks they have enough to invite to interview but wants to know what they are going to do about Emma Grundy. Adil is absolutely plain about it: she doesn't have what they are looking for. When Oliver suggests that she does have a lot of potential Adil advises him that they don't have the luxury of training people for six months so they can 'realise their potential' [and what if they turn out not to have it to realise, or have the wrong sort? Chris]. He would have thought that Oliver would have learnt by now that you have to take the emotion out of recruitment; Oliver is wasting time they haven't got. Oliver grumbles until Adil reminds him that there are other rôles she could apply for such as the domestic services assistant posts they will be advertising shortly. They could guarantee her an interview for that if she put in an application, but there is really nothing else they could offer her. He shows Oliver the interview questions he says he has prepared in advance.

The petty squabbling is at least now no longer via Brad, but he still doesn't like it at all, and eventually tells Jazzer and Tracy to give it a rest; when after that they continue, becoming louder and more angry as they do so, he shouts at them both to shut up, and asks why they are behaving like a couple of kids. They still carry on, and he announces he's had enough of this, and they deserve each other; he is going to see Mia, and they can let him know when they've decided to grow up.

Oliver and Emma bump into each other and she makes another bid for special treatment in the matter of her application for the post of Head of Housekeeping at Grey Gables, asking him to put in a word for her and telling him all about how great she is; he is embarrassed, but manages in the end to tell her that he is really sorry, but on this occasion she will not be being invited for interview. She is taken aback and even a bit crushed, and he explains that they decided it would be better to have someone who already has managerial experience to begin with. They did read her CV, but unfortunately she didn't score highly enough. She can't understand it, and he is forced to point out that running a hotel and running a family aren't entirely comparable. He is sorry; it was a highly competitive field and lots of them had extensive qualifications, and that made the difference in the end. She is disconsolate: so she'll never get an interview unless she gets more qualifications? Oliver is not saying that, and there are other positions still available, and if she applied they would certainly guarantee her an interview. When she asks what and he mentions 'domestic services assistant', a full time position with sick pay and holiday entitlement, she knows, and says, that this means 'cleaner'. She scores high enough to clean up other people's muck, does she, she asks dejectedly.

When Brad gets back to The Green he almost treads on Tracy, who is going through the box from the car boot sale and sorting into 'to keep' and 'to the charity shop'. She isn't at The Bull as he had expected, because Emma is covering her shift. Alarmed, he asks if she is ill; through gritted teeth she tells him she was supposed to be getting stuff sorted for the wedding tomorrow. He wants to know why she isn't then, and has a talk to her about her and Jazzer fighting in a way which he has recognised as not being their usual bickering. She's sorry they lost their rag in front of him, because it wasn't fair, and he puts it to her that she does know it is all nonsense, doesn't she? No, not the car boot junk! What they are doing to each other. Jazzer loves her, and she loves him, so whatever he's done or she thinks he's done, does she honestly think he would do anything to hurt her? She admits that she doesn't, of course not, but at their age it isn't always easy to stop thinking a certain way, and maybe she's taken her eye off the ball a bit. Brad protests that she has just said Jazzer would never hurt her, and she agrees: he wouldn't, but... They've got baggage, see, and it builds up year by year. She thought they knew all of each other's baggage. Brad cuts through: this baggage: does it mean she does;t trust him any more? No, she admits. Does it mean that he's not a good person? No, again. So really it's nothing but some old boxes stuffed with rubbish, like the one from the car-boot. She laughs, and wonders where Brad came from. He says he just wants to see her happy, and she hugs him and says he's so lovely; and he's right. He wants to make sure: 'Jazzer's nothing like my dad,' he tells her. She knows; and at that moment she gets a message, from Jazzer, asking if she wants him to bring some chips later. See? asks Brad Triumphantly; after making him sleep on the sofa and all! If that's not love then what is?

Oliver has persuaded Adil to come out for lunch at The Bull, on the grounds that working in a building-site is noisy and The Bull is quieter; they can go through the plans for the re-opening in peace. Both men are taken aback when Emma, who does not generally work at The Bull, appears to take their order. Adil thanks her for taking the time to apply for the post of Head of Housekeeping and tries to apply a poultice to her self-esteem, with Oliver chiming in at each point to say that this is something Oliver has already told her, and ends up suggesting Adil go and grab a table before someone else does; Oliver will bring over menus. With Adil gone, Oliver apologises to Emma for his insensitivity, and she tells him again that she isn't interested in the domestic service post; he doesn't have to apologise, because he has actually helped her: she's going to go back to college and get the qualifications she doesn't have. Oliver thinks that sounds an excellent idea.

As a result of fish-and-chips for supper, provided by Jazzer, peace breaks out between him and Tracy. She tells him about Brad's lecture, and he tells her that Hannah has other places to stay. She doesn't want him to go to Susan's before the wedding, but to stay with her. [Hopefully leading to LOTS OF BAD LUCK. Gus.] They drink to wedding number two.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 30th August, 2023

Emma is sworn to secrecy, while Susan secures photographic evidence.

[Where's a dwarf with a meat cleaver when you need one? Gus]

Characters: Jazzer, Tracy, Chelsea, Brad, Susan, Emma, Lynda
Credited scriptwriter:
Caroline Jester
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Disaster has struck at the register office: the registrar who was to marry Jazzer and Tracy has suffered a family emergency and can't do it. Tracy, Jazzer, Chelsea and Brad sit around being despondent, with Tracy blaming Jazzer for having caused bad luck by seeing her on the morning of their wedding. All he had to do was not look at her, which, as Chelsea remarks, would be a bit hard at a register office; Brad asks whether he was also supposed to close his eyes when he was driving them all into town. Tracy now just wants to go home, but then Susan arrives: she has brought Jazzer's suit, which for some reason he had not bothered to wear. She witters on until she finally realises something is wrong, and then when Tracy, in answer to her sharp question about what has happened, says she is not getting married, assumes this is just some silly disagreement: whatever it is, she doesn't want to hear about it. Jazzer is to get himself changed, and they are to get themselves into that room. Jazzer finally explains about the registrar's emergency, and Susan is outraged: they can't just cancel a wedding! Are Jazzer and Tracy just going to sit there looking defeated, and accept it? Pull themselves together! Chelsea and Brad need to go back in there and not leave till this is sorted out. Chelsea reckons she and Brad can sort this. Meanwhile Susan expects Jazzer to make himself presentable, and she will fix Tracy's face.

Emma has taken a long time to serve Lynda because she was reading during her break; Lynda is sympathetic, and, when Emma tells her that she has decided to go back to college and get her GCSE in English Literature, is delighted and tells her it is wonderful news: good for her! She will be very happy to help if Emma wants her to. Lynda then tries to pump Emma about Rob Titchener returning to the village, but Emma is not to be drawn about the awful to-do with Helen and Emma's George; all she will say is that she has told George to stay out of it. After Emma has taken her order for a latte and a slice of carrot cake, Lynda goes on trying to gossip about having seen Susan looking very smart this morning, and Tracy too, but Emma's only reply is to ask whether she wants cream with the carrot cake. Giving up, Lynda asks what Emma was reading; it was Don't Look Now. Lynda at once extols it as one of Daphne du Maurier's finest, but Emma stops her before she can tell her what happens.

In Borchester, Tracy and Jazzer are gloomily deciding they will have to come clean and admit they are not married, and being a laughing-stock, when Brad and Chelsea come back out to tell them that Brad has sorted it; he calculated the time it would take for someone to come over from Felpersham and perform the ceremony, allowing for traffic, and worked out that they would be able to drive to Borchester and back and still be in time to perform another ceremony at the end of the day. So Tracy and Jazzer can get married at four-thirty this afternoon. Susan immediately worries because she's already swapped some shifts around and will be working at the dairy then, but Jazzer merely rejoices: they can fit them in. Tracy is delighted with her two clever kids. Susan continues to worry about having to go for her shift in the dairy, and also reminds them they will need two witnesses; Brad can't do it because he is under eighteen. Susan will just have to ask Clarrie, who might get suspicious. Chelsea tries to leave to get some food, but Tracy and Susan forbid it; no-one is leaving until Tracy and Jazzer are officially married. Jazzer complains that he hasn't eaten today, but the Susan is adamant: nobody, but nobody, leaves.

Emma having finished her short story has come back to Lynda, who at once starts to tell her about the work she has just read. The trouble is, Lynda's exposition seems not to be about the Don't Look Now that Emma has just finished. Lynda however is determined that she knows all about it. When Emma starts to worry and say that if she can't even follow the story there's no point in her thinking about doing the exam, Lynda realises that she has gone too far and comes clean: after swearing Emma to secrecy she admits that she has not read the text, only seen the film [which differs on several important points in the plot. Chris]. Portentously she asks whether she can trust Emma Grundy to take her secret to the grave? Very seriously, Emma replies that her lips are sealed.

The registrar has practically thrown them out, but Jazzer and Tracy are now married. They laugh about how hastily the registrar rushed through the ceremony; then Chelsea produces a folk-rhyme she found on a website: 'Marry on Monday for health, Tuesday for wealth, Wednesday the best day of all, Thursday for crosses, Friday for losses, and Saturday for no luck at all.' Tracy reckons it's a good job they didn't marry on Thursday as originally planned. Susan now rounds them all up to stand close together; Tracy protests that she can't take a photograph because if anyone sees it they'll know they weren't married before, but Susan is determined. On 'three' they are to chuck that confetti everywhere and shout 'married!' They obey.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 31st August, 2023

Of ragwort, worms and worming one's way in.

Characters: Pip, Rex, Brad, Mia, Stella
Credited scriptwriter:
Caroline Jester
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

When Pip encounters Rex outside the village shop she remarks on the amount of ice-cream he has bought and is told it's for the cub-scouts who are coming for a bug-hunt at the rewilding site. They will be counting worms, which always goes down a treat. He asks how Rosie is getting on in Cornwall, then takes the opportunity to tell Pip she is to be careful of Toby, who misses being with Rosie all the time: it's been hard for him to adjust. He says it is good to see Toby being more settled; not being sure where all this is going Pip agrees dampeningly that yes, that is good, and tries to get away. Rex clearly wants to give her advice about how to treat Toby, while claiming that he is not trying to get involved; Pip eventually tells him that everything that needs to be said between her and Toby has been said, which could be parsed as 'mind your own business'. She then tells him that if he stands there any longer the ice-cream will melt, and he finally leaves, saying that he has said his piece. [While managing to say nothing in particular, at length. Exasperated Chris.]

Pulling up ragwort puzzles Brad [who, being a country lad, doesn't know that it is poisonous to cows and horses. There is government guidance on keeping it under control at https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/801153/code-of-practice-on-how-to-prevent-the-spread-of-ragwort.pdf Chris] since it is food for many species of butterfly, but after Mia has explained why they are doing so, in one area only, he is content to carry on doing what he has been told. They talk of the wedding and she tells him he looked hot in his velvet suit the time she saw him in it; he says feelingly that he was hot in it [and the listeners politely titter. Chris]. Mia has a quick rant against marriage as an outdated institution and a way to control people's lives, with which Brad somewhat bemusedly agrees every time she pauses for breath.

Having decided to burn her boats, Pip has taken Stella to a meal outside Ambridge in order to tell her that she thinks she would like to be more than friends. Stella doesn't want to listen, but Pip insists on having her say; Stella, who has been down this route before, says that she really isn't interested in helping Pip explore her sexuality. Pip needs to find someone else for that.

One of the cub-scouts is being difficult: Rex can't get him away from the worms because he thinks he's got to protect them in case the others throw them around, which Mia thinks is sweet of him. Rex's problem is that the group need to be setting off for home now, so Mia volunteers the unwilling Brad to talk to the boy and after troubled hesitation he agrees to try if she wants him to.

Stella has narrated the sad story of the woman who chucked her by text while she was waiting for her to come and sign the contract for a house together, Stella having sold her flat. Pip is disgusted by such behaviour and describes it as brutal; Stella recounts having lived out of a suitcase for the next few months, which is why being settled at Home Farm means a lot. Pip asks whether Stella ever heard from the woman again and is told that Stella stopped looking at her social media when she posted pictures of her honeymoon to [sic] the man she was engaged to when they first met. After that, she made a pact with herself that she would never again get caught up with another woman who was exploring her sexuality. Pip can see why, and they agree to be friends. Pip then tells Stella that what she's told her doesn't change the way Pip feels about her; Stella is flattered but is not prepared to make the same mistake again. Pip goes on arguing, suggesting that they try a night out as a date, which Stella turns down, then admits defeat and says she is not going to hound Stella and will back off: she just had to be sure Stella knew how she feels.

Brad has been successful in persuading the cub to leave the worms; Rex is grateful, while Mia says he was great, which embarrasses Brad. Rex suggests Brad and Mia can finish work now if they want, and and reminds them the holidays are nearly over and they should make the most of them. After he leaves them, they decide to watch a film together, Mia saying that it has been a great summer and Brad agreeing it was the best. She wonders if things will be different once term starts, but when he asks 'different how?' changes the subject to his success with the worm-boy: she knows about being a nerd, and Brad knew how to help. Brad is special.

As Pip is making herself supper Stella just happens to be passing; she used to take Weaver for his walk at this time and hasn't got out of the habit. Pip sympathises and says it will take time; Stella tells her that she always used to walk him past Rickyard and thought she would say hello while she was passing. Does Pip fancy coming out for a drink? She has been thinking about what Pip said earlier and can't really see the harm in going on a date. Pip is just finishing making something to eat, but when Stella assumes that is a 'no' adds that the trouble with cooking for one when you're used to cooking for two is that you always make more than you need, so if Stella hasn't eaten (she hasn't) would she like to join her? Stella would like that. She'd better come in then, invites Pip.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 1st September, 2023

Adil is off (or in) hand, and both Ruth and Pip are out of order.

Characters: Lynda, Oliver, Pip, Stella, Adil, Ruth
Credited scriptwriter:
Caroline Jester
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

At Ambridge Hall Lynda is offering morning coffee and the tea-room's famous lemon drizzle cake to Oliver, who is there to flattering her into taking charge of the opening ball at Grey Gables. She is not hard to persuade.

The happy couple at Rickyard Cottage have their slightly embarrassed but on the whole optimistic breakfast rudely interrupted by someone opening the front door, in spite of Ruth having told Pip she will do the morning milking in order to let Pip have a bit of a lie-in. Rather than face the awkwardness that Stella's presence might cause, Pip bundles her out of the back door of the cottage.

In her element, Lynda is telling Oliver all the requirements for taking on the organisation of the Opening Gala Ball; she has insisted on moving their meeting to Grey Gables, which Adil was not expecting when he comes in and finds them in his office. He had thought hat Oliver was meeting her at Ambridge Hall to avoid the noise that is made by the builders, but as Lynda points out, there isn't any. She is prepared to start, subject to confirmation of dates and fees; Adil is not quite ready to provide these. Oliver tells him that is why Lynda is there: to try to move forward with the details, and to take a tour of Grey Gables to begin her event-planning. She doesn't really need a guided tour, though Oliver volunteers Adil to show her round; he demurs on the grounds that he has pressing matters to attend to, but Oliver leaves them to it and goes to find out why the building work seems to have stopped. Left with Lynda, Adil informs her that finalising a date for the opening in November is not at the top of his to-do list but they will see if they can confirm shortly. She tells him the advantage of their living in the same house is that they will be able to discuss matters out of office hours [and if that doesn't make him move out nothing will. Gus and Chris] and then proceeds with her list of what will be needed for her plans. Adil tries to rein in her schemes for opening up the entire hotel with something different in every room, saying that he and Oliver were really just thinking about the refurbished ballroom, but she scornfully rejects this idea out of hand and goes on telling him that what he needs in An Event.

Ruth's pretext for invading Pip's home uninvited is that she [with thirty years' experience of running a dairy herd. Chris] wants her daughter's opinion about a possible case of mastitis. Pip tries in vain to get rid of her by suggesting that she would be better off calling a vet then rousting her out, which just leads Ruth to ask coyly whether she is interrupting anything, then rather obviously disbelieve it when Pip tells her that she isn't. She didn't even think Pip might have someone there, she half-whispers, and the talk then reverts to the cow; Pip is firmly of the belief that a vet should be called, Ruth wants a second opinion before she does so. When Pip says that she will come over as soon as she is dressed, Ruth offers to make her breakfast while she dresses; when this offer is turned down she says she will clear up, then, which Pip also refuses. Ruth finally starts to leave, pausing only to remind Pip that she mustn't forget to put 'that other mug' in the dishwasher when she tidies up.

Lynda is still going on with her scheming, dismissing Adil's suggestion that they need to think about costs. In order to get rid of her, Adil agrees with everything she says and suggests that once she has gathered her thoughts and put things down on paper, they can see what will be possible. She's not impressed by the ballroom refurbishment, nor sure they will be ready to open, though Adil says it's all in hand; she thinks the MDF looks rather shoddy: is that also 'in hand'? Adil assures her that it is indeed all in hand. When Oliver arrives and asks how they are getting on she greets him with the information that she was just telling Adil that the ballroom looks a little bare and shoddy; Adil interrupts her to say that she is going to put some ideas on paper and then they can see where they can go from there. She briskly says she will get started then, once they have sorted out her fee; she then walks out without it having been sorted. When she is gone Oliver says uneasily that he fears her observations about things looking behind schedule may be accurate; some of the bedrooms haven't even had their bathrooms fitted. Can they really open the place in eight weeks? Is there anything he needs to be aware of? Adil reiterates that it's all in hand. The contractor Oliver spoke to said there had been a number of delays: was Adil aware of these? Rather wearily, Adil repeats that all is in hand. These big projects always look like they're running late until suddenly, ta-dah! and it's all ready. It will all be fine. He is however a bit confused about the brief Lynda seems to be working with: she talked about a fee. Oliver wants to know how that is confusing, and Adil reminds him that he didn't think they would be offering her one. Oliver tells him not to be ridiculous: you can't engage people's services and not pay them. Did Adil really expect her to do it for nothing? Adil suggests that was why they chose her; Oliver indignantly points out that this is a commercial venture, and wants to know what message it sends out if they don't pay people. Adil thinks they will have to rein in some of their plans; Oliver wants to know why ever they should do that, and if there is a problem he should know about, and financial concerns, problems with the contractors he needs to be made aware of; for the fifth time Adil says that everything is in hand. Oliver very much hopes it is, because he has a lot invested in Grey Gables being a triumphant success.

When Pip goes over to find Stella and return to her the jacket she didn't give her time to pick up in the morning, Stella is very busy with her work on the new drill, and disinclined to talk. She doesn't have time for her; Pip keeps on about whether she has done anything to upset her, and eventually Stella asks, as of an idiot, whether she knows how wrong it was, on so many levels, to shove her outside as she did. Pip is sorry she upset her; Stella thanks her for the jacket and says that will be the last time. She is not impressed by Pip's claim that she wasn't hiding her away; she wants to know what Pip was doing, then. Pip stammers that she thought Stella would be embarrassed if Ruth, her friend, found her there: it might be really awkward for her too: it is a bit complicated. Which is why it is best to stop it now, states Stella. Hiding her away just isn't going to end well, is it.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 3rd September, 2023

Helen takes against eating, and Mia takes Brad to bed.

Characters: Pat, Natasha, Helen, Brad, Mia
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

There is an Archer women's convocation at Beechwood; Natasha is there babysitting while Helen goes for a run, and Pat comes over to visit her daughter. The two women discuss Natasha's and Helen's children, in particular Henry, who seems still to be keeping to his room. Natasha then mentions that Stella is looking absolutely miserable, but Pat hasn't heard that she has had a falling-out with Brian, which is assumed to be the cause. They are not sure how Helen is doing. Pat is well aware she's had an awful few months, and Natasha thinks it's good she's doing so much running, though Pat is unsure of that: she was out running twice yesterday. When Helen comes back Pat gives her the beef bourguinon she has made for Helen and the boys to have for supper, knowing that it is a favourite of Helen's and not having to cook supper on the last day of the holidays might be a help. She then goes up to see Henry, leaving Helen to tell Natasha how much she needed that run and how good running is for your mental health. Natasha agrees, but a little nervously.

Brad and Mia have the house to themselves for five hours. Tracy is at work until ten, Chelsea is at her mate's, Jazzer has gone off for the whole day with Ed, and Bert is at Susan's for lunch and tea. Brad has laid in loads of vegan snacks and proposes a marathon film showing from their list of Old Films To See. Mia extols the fact that in Battleship Potemkin, nobody would have saved the baby that rolls down the steps, whereas in Holywood films, babies don't die. In a French or Japanese or Russian film you don't know how things are going to work out. Mia however would like to watch something cheesy and wish-fulfilment, with a linear narrative and in which no-one dies. When Brad objects that it kind of goes against the rules of film club, she points out that since it is only him and her in the club they can change the rules if they want to. He agrees, and suggests Speed, with Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock, even though it is not entirely death-free.

After Natasha has gone Pat stays for a bit to talk to Helen, who is worried because Henry is spending so much time in his room: he hasn't exactly had a great summer. Pat reassures her that is not her fault, though Helen now seems aware that she lost her temper with him and that he hasn't seen any friends since and has just been bored and alone. Maybe it's good that school starts tomorrow, suggests Pat: is Helen ready for it? When Helen says 'not really' Pat asks if there is anything she can do to help, then suggests that the boys could go over to Bridge Farm for a couple of hours so Helen could do all the things she lists as not yet having been done. Helen is grateful, and suggests she should take the bourguinon back with her for the boys to have for their tea. Pat agrees to take some and leave the rest, since it is one of Helen's favourite meals and that's why she made it. Helen will have to eat some, since Pat made it specially.

After the film ends Mia and Brad discuss it, with Mia being very enthusiastic and mentioning things from it as particularly good. She also says Keanu is gorgeous, then realises Brad looks a bit taken aback when he says he is a bit jealous, and goes on to tell him how gorgeous he is himself. She loves his face, and his mouth, and thinks he has really beautiful arms, and he is a really decent, funny, great person. He tells her she is incredibly pretty and has no idea that she is, which is kind of incredible in itself. She asks how long they've got before anyone comes home, and he says 'ages' [since he doesn't know that film has a running time of 116 minutes, which leaves them with about three hours of the original five. Chris]; she doesn't think they ought to watch another film, suggesting they could maybe go to his room, which he agrees is one option. When she says it's what she really wants to do, he agrees they should do that, then.

One of the twins has left a jelly toy [which since Helen refers to it as a soft toy, quite possibly means a Jellycat toy. Chris] at Beechwood and Natasha has come to look for it; Helen locates it under a piece of furniture. Helen offers the beef bourguinon to Natasha, saying that she has stuff in the fridge and she hates things getting wasted; Natasha, who has nothing ready for tea, is happy to take it. [I do hope she takes the dish back to Pat, who will then realise Helen has stopped eating again. Chris.]

Brad's bed is only a single, but the two young lovers seem content with it. They laugh together, though Brad needs to be reassured that she did enjoy it. She asks whether he is asking if she regrets having sex with him, and when it's clear he is, she tells him not to be stupid and then throws the question back, getting the answer 'definitely not.' He wishes she could stay over; she muses about how great it would be, but comes back to earth when she realises she hasn't got any of her stuff for college or clean clothes or anything, and what does he think his mum would say? He thinks she'd be OK, but what about Will? What about her dad? She agrees that her dad might be a bit funny, though she thinks Will would be fine, because he knows Brad and would trust him, whereas Dad [who is called Andrew. Chris] has only met him once. Mia starts to plan having a conversation with him and with Will about staying over, and Brad supposes he could talk to his mum too. He thinks she will mainly be worried about contraception, and when Mia says he can tell her they've been perfectly sensible he groans and says he doesn't want to tell her anything. Mia doesn't really want to talk to her dad either, and they agree to leave it for a bit. No-one is due back for at least another hour, so there is no rush to get up and dress again, either.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 4th September, 2023

Mia is euphoric; Stella and Pip are both forgiven; Ben is neither.

Characters: Ruth, Ben, Susan, Mia, Stella, Sykesy, Pip
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

To Ruth's surprise, Ben is breakfasting early; he has a swapped shift at The Laurels. The staff know he is leaving but he hasn't yet told the residents; Ruth feels he should do that soon, since it is his last week. He has been putting it off because he wasn't sure he was up to going back to his university course: he didn't want to tell everyone he was going and then change his mind. He didn't have the confidence in his own decision-making. She tells him it now has to be done, and he agrees that he will do it today.

Mia wafts into the shop on a pink cloud, to buy a pain au chocolat; it's for someone else so it not being vegan , which Susan kindly points out, doesn't matter.

At The Laurels Ben breaks it to Sykesy that he will be leaving at the end of the week, and is treated to incredulity, blank silence and then a request to take away the food he has just brought in. Sykesy is not hungry now.

Before Mia goes, Susan wants to try to pump her for information about Clarrie's entry for the Flower and Produce; Mia has no idea, so perhaps Susan had better ring Clarrie herself. Stella then comes in looking for dishwasher tablets, and Susan triumphantly works out that the pain au chocolat, plus a flask of coffee she has noticed Mia is carrying, is so Mia and Brad can have breakfast together on the bus in to college; with much giggling Mia admits it and says she has to go or she will miss the bus. Susan is off-hand with Stella's inquiry about the price of the dishwasher tablets (£3.20) but quizzes Mia about how long she and Brad have been together: Stella tells her to stop interrogating the poor girl, but Mia is happy to answer that it has been eight weeks three days. Stella repeats this with a laugh in her voice, as Mia makes her escape. Stella and Susan proceed to discuss her and Brad, and love in general; Susan asks whether Stella remembers what it was like to be young and in love, and Stella isn't sure: it's been a while. Susan speaks of her own early feelings for Neil, and how they are still very happy and have a good marriage but she wouldn't mind living those days again. Stella is silent.

Ben has come to try to patch things up with Sykesy, but Sykesy is sulking and refuses toast or tea from him. He wishes Ben would just leave him alone: if he is leaving then leave, and get it over with. Sykesy wants to know why Ben didn't tell him as soon as he knew; if Ben is honest, he doesn't know. When pressed, he says he was putting it off because he knew Sykesy wouldn't be too chuffed, and a bit of him was hoping he could do both, part time as a carer sort of thing, but it's just not going to work. Sykesy wants to know why he dropped out in the first place, and, when Ben replies it's quite complicated, wants to know what makes him think he'll stick to it this time. Ben supposes that now he's had time away to work it out, he's sure it's what he wants to do. Sykesy thinks he picks things up and then he drops them when he gets bored. Ben asserts that's not true, but Sykesy goes on: he thinks that is what Ben's done with him.

Stella is sorry to bother Pip at work but needs to warn Pip that she needs her to move the Brookfield ewes on Tuesday morning. Pip reminds her of the first time they met, when she demanded that Pip must moved the ewes immediately; Stella remembers that was two years ago, in October 2021. Pip also remembers that they really didn't hit it off; Stella remarks that Pip must have thought her a cow and Pip agrees that she did, hastily adding that she doesn't think that any more. Not even after all that stuff she said the other day, enquires Stella, and Pip pretends amnesia so she will have to be told. When she is, she makes excuses for having chucked Stella out of the back door: they hadn't even discussed it. Stella admits she was right, in a way; maybe she's not ready for that conversation yet, but it was just a bit jarring: one minute they're having coffee and chatting and the next... Pip hastily interrupts to say she knows, and Stella tells her she saw the loved-up Mia in the shop, literally skipping with happiness, like she was in a musical, like Maria in West Side Story before Tony gets shot, and anyway, she was happy because she's in love. Stella felt jealous of that feeling, and then she just thought 'what am I doing?' She really likes Pip, and thinks Pip likes her too ('I do' affirms Pip) so what are they doing? She was really harsh and she would like to take those words back, please. The upshot is that in a cloud of mutual thanks for not being nasty to each other they agree they should hang out together some time.

On Ben's return to Brookfield Ruth asks in her concerned voice how it went, and he tells her it was really bad and how Sykesy is so angry with him for giving such short notice and feels as if Ben is abandoning him. He's really messed up. Ruth at once tells him that's not true, and Sykesy will get over it and just needs to get used to the idea, but Ben feels he's done something wrong, like he's got too close to a patient; why else would he be reacting like that? Ruth reminds him that from everything he and Jill have said, Sykesy seems like a pretty tricky character. She doesn't think he's done anything wrong by forming a positive relationship with the residents. Ben continues to beat himself up; no-one comes to see Sykesy, absolutely no-one. Ruth seizes on this: he needed Ben more than the others, then. Pip comes in as Ben is accepting this, and tells Ruth that Stella needs them to move the ewes early, next Tuesday. Ben goes off to have a shower, and Pip asks what's wrong; Ruth tells her Sykesy is really upset he's going, so he feels bad. She worries that Ben is still quite vulnerable; then she moves on to what really concerns her, that she thinks she may have offended Stella because Stella is being quite distant. Pip assures her that it is probably just that Stella is really up against it at work, but agrees to ask her if Ruth has done anything. Not making a big deal of it, emphasises Ruth: just do some discreet digging. Sure; no problem, according to Pip.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 5th September, 2023

All is now well between Helen and Henry, while Sykesy and Ben both end up in difficult positions.

Characters: Pat, Henry, Ben, Sykesy, Helen
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

When Henry gets back from school Pat asks him all the usual questions about what his day was like, and gets the usual answer given by schoolchildren the wide world over ('Fine.') but seems able to get through to him reasonably well even so. She laughingly thinks almost every secondary school kid in the country says the same things, and tells him that his mother was just the same. She offers him food, but he would prefer to make a sandwich himself; Jack is watching telly and Helen should be back about five to five-thirty. When Henry gets a message on his phone he tells Pat not to worry, it's just his friend Frank, then explains that Rob is blocked. He would never ever be in touch with him now. Pat tells him warmly that she knows he wouldn't and she does trust him; he knows that Helen doesn't. She's jumpy as anything since The Thing; Pat points out that she was jumpy already, and with good reason. Henry feels bad about what happened, and then tells Pat that Helen told him Rob never wanted him: Jack, but not him. Pat is sure that's not true, but Henry explains that he does get it: Jack is Rob's natural son and Henry isn't. Pat unhappily tells him that Helen shouldn't have said that, which Henry at once says Helen knows and feels bad about. Pat excuses her by saying she's been under so much pressure, which Henry knows; she adores Henry, Pat tells him, and he says he knows that too.

When Ben greets Sykesy he is faced with more sulking and crossness: did Ben tell his gran to come in and have a massive go at him? Ben is startled and denies it; Sykesy accuses him not only of lying, but of having done so before by omission. After a few more insults Ben asks whether they can just go back a bit, to his gran: what happened? According to Sykesy she said she was there to see Christine, but she obviously had an agenda: she told Sykesy how ungrateful he was, and what a lovely young man Ben is, and how dare he go and upset Ben... Ben is bewildered and tells him to hang on, but Sykesy wants to get his grievance off his chest. Kick a man while he's down why don't you! Ben doesn't understand: he has said absolutely nothing to his gran about Sykesy, and wouldn't because his work at The Laurels is confidential. He has no idea how she knew.

Frank sends Henry another message; he doesn't understand the homework. Henry explains Frank is really bright but a bit of a space cadet, giving examples of absent-mindedness; Pat is amused, and while they are laughing about it Helen comes back, early. When asked about her day she says it was fine, and Henry laughs, so that has to be explained. He then goes to call Frank and explain the homework, and Helen says he seems happier, and thanks Pat, who disclaims: it's a pleasure. She asks after Lee; Helen thinks he's good and it sounds as if they're all having a lovely time. Pat fears that he must be worrying about Helen, but Helen hasn't actually told him what's going on; Pat is astonished and rather upset that she hasn't told him about Henry and Rob, but Helen's view is that he could do nothing from America and she doesn't want him to come home early or ruin his time with the girls. She'll tell him when he gets back: she isn't going to pretend it didn't happen. Pat now argues that it's a lot for Helen, on her own, and he's her partner and would want to know because he is so supportive, but Helen is adamant: she doesn't want him to know and she doesn't want him to have to be supportive: he's already taken on so much. Pat's protests that that is what you do when you love someone fall on deaf ears; as far as Helen is concerned things have calmed down now and there's no need to involve him until he gets back, and Pat reluctantly admits that Helen has to do what she thinks is best. Helen, having got her way, assures her that's what she's doing. Pat then mentions that there was something Henry said just now... This alarms Helen.

At The Laurels Ben continues to minister to Sykesy in a cheerful manner as part of his job, while Sykesy is initially short with him but eventually and with some difficulty admits that he's been thinking about it, and realised that the person who told Jill about his having had a row with Ben may have been him. He slagged Ben off to Jill, which looking back was a bad idea. Ben does his best not to roar with laughter. He just assumed Ben would already have told her all about it and went off on one. He thinks he owes Ben an apology; Ben gravely thanks him. After some further chat about his behaviour, he says he is going to miss Ben and tries to give Ben a cheque he's already made out. Ben refuses it: he can't take money off him, it's unethical. He won't even look at the cheque, though he is taken aback to hear it is for three grand.

Henry is playing a game on his computer when Helen, saying she doesn't want to interrupt him, comes to interrupt him. Once the game finishes she asks if she can talk to him, and when he asks what about tells him that she just wanted to say she is really, really sorry for what she said about Rob not wanting him. She admits Pat told her about it, not telling on him but just worried. Maturely, Henry tells her that Rob not wanting him makes sense, because he's not Rob's, but he's over it now and he doesn't even want Rob to want him. Why would he? Rob is a terrible human being even if he is dying; dying doesn't just make you a saint [sic]. He's fine; forget it. Helen is determined that if it wasn't still bothering him he wouldn't have mentioned it to Pat, but he says that it wasn't Rob he cared about, it was Helen being so angry: he thought she might hit him. She is horrified and protests that she has never hit him: why would she start now? He explains he had never seen her so angry. She apologises again in a trembling voice, and, when he says he is sorry too and he knows he made everything worse, tells him that it wasn't his fault. [Which is usually what people are compelled to say to her. Chris] She tells him that Rob is manipulative and dangerous, which Henry had clearly worked out for himself already, then asks him to reassure her that he does know how much she loves him. He says understandingly that he does get it: she was angry and said something mean but didn't mean it. That apparently wasn't it at all: in tears, she claims that she thought if she told Henry Rob didn't want him, he would stay away from him and be safe and Jack would be safe and there is really nothing else matters more in the world than to protect the two of them. She would die for them, she sniffles, she would die for them over and over again. Henry asks her please not to cry, then asks if she wants a hug; she really does, so he hugs her and assures her it's going to be all right. She protests that she is meant to say that to him, so he gives her permission to say it too, and she does. He reckons they can say it to each other, and she tells him he is so great. After mutual congratulation, she asks if they can have a video game. [Henry, most magnanimously in the circumstances, agrees to go easy on her. Gus.]

Before he clocks off Ben has come to check on Sykesy, and to thank him for his very kind offer. Sykesy still can't see why Ben can't just take the cheque, and tries to hand it to him, in the process falling and hurting himself, and then realising that he can't move. Ben presses the buzzer for help, and usefully tells him not to move.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 6th September, 2023

Chelsea takes up reading; maybe George ought to do the same, since he's bored.

Characters: Chelsea, Tracy, Mia, Brad, George, Susan
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

With a clatter of cutlery Tracy and Chelsea are having a meal and chatting together about the wedding last week; Chelsea reckons they've all been so good, at which Tracy protests they have only had two. Brad caught the bouquet and looked embarrassed; Tracy hopes it won't mean he suddenly gets married. Tracy wonders what they should do for Chelsea's birthday, and Chelsea isn't bothered: it's not as if it's a special one. She'd be happy just to go down the pub with her family and a few of her mates. She thinks perhaps she ought to start learning to drive again, so she can do more mobile hairdressing; she could save up for an old banger. When Tracy offers to lend her the Riley Chelsea laughingly says they'll all be fighting over the Riley soon and Tracy will have to do a rota.

At college, Mia calls out to Brad and they meet in a corridor on their way to their respective classes. After some happy chat, mostly from Mia with occasional agreements from Brad, they realise they have very few free lessons because they are both doing four A-levels, and agree to look at their timetables at lunch-time and see if they have any at the same time. They'll meet in the canteen at about one. Before she runs off to her next lesson Brad asks if they could have a kiss, and when she expresses surprise at him suggesting this in a public place tells her they don't really have time for her to be sarcastic. What has she done to him? she asks; ruined him, he replies cheerfully, and they kiss each other just as Brad's phone rings. She tells him he should answer it, though he doesn't want to: it's not an emergency, it's just George. She has to go, and he then answers the phone to George, who asks why Brad is blanking him and tries to make Brad feel guilty about not having replied instantly to the two texts he left for him, then invites Brad to the pub on Friday. Since Mia will be with her dad at the weekend, Brad accepts.

Since Bert left a load of his things at Ambridge View on Sunday, Susan has come round to see Tracy and brought them back. Tracy offers her lunch, but she has to hurry back to the post office; then she stops for a gossip. Jill has told her that one of the residents at The Laurels broke his hip yesterday. Chelsea asks why she is telling them that, and Susan says it makes her glad Dad is living with Tracy and not in a home; Chelsea promptly points out he could still break a hip living there [or starve to death, since he never seems to be at any meal we hear in that house. Chris]. Susan doesn't reply to this; she has just noticed that her copy of Lark Rise to Candleford is propping up the short leg of the table, and she wants it back. Tracy tells her she can't have it back until Jazzer fixes the table leg, and the two sisters have a squabble because Susan tries to reclaim it. She says she won it as a prize at school and she wants it back; Chelsea is impressed but Tracy disputes that Susan ever won a prize at school [like she would know; given the fact that she was born on 23 July 1975 and Susan on 10 October 1963, they would never have been at school together. Chris].

When Mia and Brad do meet for lunch, she asks what he is doing on Friday night; she would rather be with Brad than at her dad's. Brad asks whether Saturday would do, but there's a family meal planned so he has to admit he has agreed to go to the pub with George. He adds that he could cancel him, but Mia doesn't want to upset George and suggests Sunday in the daytime. That's no good either because it's Chelsea's birthday, so Brad determines he'll cancel George and see him some other time.

The squabble continues, with Tracy for some reason being aggressively unpleasant about Susan not having been any good at school, and calling her a liar. It goes downhill from there, until Chelsea asks what is wrong with them; they reply 'She started it!' in chorus.

It's clear that George must be bored and lonely; as Brad gets back to Ambridge George runs after him and asks if Brad wants to go to the shop with him. He is planning to buy loads of crisps and then sit in front of the telly and eat them all. Brad somehow is not entirely taken by this enthralling plan, whether the eating is to be at his house of Grange Farm, and says no; George accepts this but is full of enthusiasm about seeing see him on Friday. Brad has to break it to him that he would rather do Saturday instead, and when he says the reason he can't do Friday is that something's come up George is immediately snarky and unpleasant about being ditched for Mia, then says he can't do Saturday: Ed and Emma have planned something and he has to attend because he is still in the doghouse after losing his job. He gives Brad a sob story about things being really bad for him lately, everyone has been on at him all the time about his attitude and him not liking women which is rubbish because he does – a world without women would be awful – and the video about Helen was nothing to do with her being a woman.. Brad tells him quietly that the video was bad, and George instructs him not to start: George needs a mate, not Brad having a go at him too. He's making a real effort right now, to be respectful, to be careful, and maybe he did go too far with the video since everyone else thinks he did but is that a reason not to come to the pub with him? Brad assures him that's not why he wants to change it: Mia's not free on Saturday. George points out aggrievedly that he isn't either: maybe just for once Brad could choose him over her. Right now he needs Brad more than Mia does. He's had a bad couple of weeks and he just wants to go to the pub and talk about it with one of his best mates [for which read only mate? Chris] but Brad is also his cousin so he gets it the way other mates don't. He's family; is he really going to say no to one poxy night out?

The upshot of the earlier scene is that Chelsea has become interested in Lark Rise to Candleford and is now reading it. She tells Tracy briefly what it's about, feeling that it shouldn't be that interesting but it really is, and Tracy mustn't tell Susan that Jazzer has mended the table until Chelsea has finished it. It's going to take quite a while because Chelsea is only on page fifty-three [there are 560. Chris]; Tracy points out that there are shorter and easier books out there, but Chelsea wants a proper challenge. Tracy suggests she should read it with her; she's sure to be able to borrow a copy from someone in Ambridge. Then they could do this difficult thing together.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 7th September, 2023

Helen, Ben, Sykesy ... everyone's going to be FINE. Really.

Characters: Ruth, Ben, Pip, Helen, Pat, Sykesy
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

When asked at breakfast how he feels about next week, Ben says 'Yeah', so Pip has to ask what that means. Nervous, apparently, and excited ... and nervous. He will be a year below all the people he knows, but as Ruth bracingly remarks, in that case he'll meet some new people. He just hopes nobody breaks a hip in his first week; this reference to Sykesy has to be explained to Pip by Ruth. Ben plans to visit him in the hospital this morning, and is leaving to do so now. Pip says she also should get on with some stuff, but before she goes Ruth asks whether she managed to speak to Stella; she hasn't yet, but promises to do so. Ruth then wonders whether she thinks Ben is going to be OK; Pip absolutely does. Ruth continues to worry, on the grounds that she thinks Ben feels responsible for Sykesy falling over, which she says is ridiculous.

A breathless Helen gets back home from a run and is met by Pat, who wants to have coffee with her whereas Helen just wants to have a shower and go in to the dairy. However, Natasha has told Pat something which has got her a bit worried and she really does want to talk. Helen assumes it is about Henry and wants to know what Pat has found out, but Pat tells her it is Helen she is worried about: Natasha has told her about being given the boeuf bourguinon. Helen at once becomes indignant and tries to claim she ate some first, then wants to know why Natasha is reporting on her. Pat informs her that Natasha asked for the recipe because it was so good, and that was how it came out: she remembered that Helen has asked her not to tell Pat about it. Helen next asserts that she didn't want to offend Pat, and that she anyway did eat some and it was great and she is grateful; she asks why Pat is being so weird. Pat doesn't back down: Natasha told her that Helen ate none of it, and she thinks Helen is not telling the truth. Helen says that it's like being interrogated by the secret police, but Pat, though sorry, couldn't just leave it. Helen becomes shrill, repeats her assertion that she didn't want want Pat to feel unappreciated, and claims not to understand why Pat is making such a drama. Dryly, Pat asks, 'Don't you?' and when Helen denies having any idea, speaks of her running twice a day. Angrily, Helen tells her that she has to stop watching her like this, but Pat soldiers on: she is not watching, she is just telling Helen what she sees, and that she is really concerned. Helen tells her she doesn't need to be, and Pat asks whether she is eating enough, which gets a long-suffering sigh and a tart 'Yes'. Pat says Helen looks thinner. Helen affects surprise, then explains that she just doesn't have much appetite because she's been stressed about everything. Pat is understanding but unconvinced; can they just go into the house, put the kettle on and talk about this a bit more? Helen reluctantly agrees.

The painkillers are doing their job, Sykesy tells Ben, but he is not looking forward to the physio. They have said that he should make a full recovery, 'if there's no complications', which Ben reckons is really good. He knows it wasn't his fault Sykesy fell over but he still feels bad about it; Sykesy admits that he should have listened and not tried to force Ben to take his cheque. They will miss each other, but Ben promises to come and see Sykesy at The Laurels; Sykesy breaks it to him that he won't be there. It's a bad break, and he has to go into a nursing home.

Helen eats a biscuit as some sort of proof that she isn't starving herself, and Pat apologises for having made things worse; if Helen says she is eating and says that she is taking care of herself she will believe her, but Helen is running a lot... Helen says 'Mum' in a minatory tone, then says she will eat two biscuits, or a whole packet, right in front of Pat to make her happy; Pat tells her that isn't necessary. Helen changes the subject to Henry having been happy this week; Pat eagerly agrees, and is rewarded by being told about the good chat Helen had with him and how they played video games together: they had fun, which they haven't done for ages. Lee will be back soon, too, and she hasn't heard any more from Rob, which, as Pat agrees, is good; so really, things are not too bad and Pat mustn't worry, says Helen in her most reasonable voice. Ah, Pat laughs, that's the trick: how do you stop yourself worrying about your kids? Even when they're all grown up it's impossible.

They haven't yet told Sykesy where he is going to be, but Ben reckons it won't be miles away and is sure he can still visit him. Sykesy is resigned to this not being possible: Ben is going to be very busy, and doesn't owe him anything. He has every right to go and live his life, which is one of the things Jill said to Sykesy. She also told him Ben had had a hard time this year, which Sykesy didn't know; he asks whether Ben is all right now, and Ben, sounding surprised, thinks that he is. Thanks for asking, adds Ben, and Sykesy tells him that he thinks Ben will be a brilliant nurse because he is good at making connections with people: he gets on with everyone. Ben deserves to be happy, even if it's too late for Sykesy. Ben forbids him to say that, and orders him to do the physio and get back on his feet.

Helen now really must have a shower and get on, and Pat too has things she has to do; she apologises to Helen again for being alarmist and neurotic, and says she was obviously on the wrong track because Helen is coping brilliantly and she is extremely proud of her. Helen suddenly bursts into tears and, as Pat asks in alarm what's wrong, brokenly says she's not coping brilliantly. Pat argues that she is and most people would have collapsed in a heap by now, but Helen, having given way at all, now sobs that she is struggling and it's too hard. Pat was right about her eating. She's sorry. She doesn't know what to do. She doesn't want it to get like last time. Pat reassures her: it won't, because she understands this illness now, and she's beaten it before. She can do this! They'll help her, and it will be all right. She is to go and have a shower, and then call her GP. Helen jibs: she doesn't want to deal with the receptionist; Pat advises just telling them the truth, and Helen says it's embarrassing. As far as Pat is concerned she has nothing to be embarrassed about and is absolutely heroic.

Over chinking crockery Pip tells her mother that she has talked to Stella, and as she expected Ruth has done nothing wrong: Stella has just been overwhelmed by work and is sorry she hasn't been around. Ruth demands details about what Pip said, but doesn't actually get them, just an invitation for them both to go to the pub tomorrow night. David can have Rosie while the women skip off to the pub. When Ben gets in he reports that things were good with Sykesy, but also Ben was sad because they are moving him miles away. Factually he tells his mother and sister that he's not sure if Sykesy will be able to walk again: he is old and it's a bad break, so he is likely to lose mobility. When Ben had to go Sykesy cried a bit, and Ben nearly did as well, though he thinks he managed to cheer Sykesy up. He has to get ready for work, and Ruth offers to make him a cheese and pickle sarnie for lunch; Pip asks if she can have one too. After Ben goes out, Ruth wonderingly says that she thinks Ben is really going to be all right. He totally is, affirms Pip.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 8th September, 2023

Pip makes a fool of herself, George is a fool as usual, and Brad isn't foolish at all.

Characters: George, Brad, Ruth, Pip, Stella, Mia
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Apparently it is necessary to disparage Brad not trying to break the law by buying alcohol in the pub where his mother works and drinking apple juice instead, or at least it is if you are George, who wants to be sure that once he's eighteen Brad will drink a 'proper' drink. George doesn't want to sit in there for the next decade with Brad drinking apple juice. Brad reckons that it's up to him what he drinks, and is not enthusiastic about George's plans to take him out when he is eighteen so they can get hammered together. George claims that Fallon touched his arm while he was getting the drinks; Brad's reaction is 'so what?', but George has convinced himself that must mean she likes him a bit, though Brad pours cold water on the idea and then says he thought George was over his Fallon phase. George says he is, he's not interested in her any more, not at all, but he reckons sometimes she does look at him and wonder. Brad snorts with laughter: he bets she does. They all do. George says ha ha and goes on about Fallon some more, comparing himself (in his prime) favourably with Harrison, who is 'getting on' and 'basically past it'. Brad remains unimpressed.

It's taking Pip forever to get tarted up to go out, and Ruth is impatient to leave. Stella will be wondering where they are, and Pip seems to be making a lot of effort for a night out at The Bull with her mother and her mother's best mate. Pip is surprised: would Ruth say Stella is her best mate, when they haven't known each other that long? Ruth doesn't think that always matters. Now can they get going? And she knows she shouldn't ask, but is this woman Pip's got a thing for going to be at the pub tonight? If she is, Ruth and Stella could leave them to it; when Pip denies it Ruth points out that it's taking them nine hours to leave the house, and is that a new top? Pip wants her to stop giving Pip the fourth degree. She is finally ready to leave, and Ruth tells her she looks really beautiful.

George has found a new subject to witter about: there are two girls he and Brad don't know sitting near, and he reckons the ash blonde is really nice. Brad doesn't know what 'ash blonde' is; pityingly, George tells him it means darker blonde, obviously [which it doesn't necessarily. Chris], and that the pair keep looking over at him and Brad. Brad tells him to go and talk to them then; he doesn't mind sitting there and waiting, and he isn't interested in the other one because he is with Mia. He has given up an evening with her to be with George. George now starts to offer his help if Brad wants it, and trying to find out whether Brad and Mia have, you know; Brad very properly refuses to talk about it, and when George assumes that means they haven't because if they had he would want to talk about it, muses that he sometimes thinks George doesn't know him at all. He then declines to say any more about it and advises George to go and talk to that ash blonde girl.

Ruth is getting in a round; a large glass of red for Stella and the same for Pip, who also asks for scampi crisps, if they've got them; Stella doesn't want any. Pip then has 'a quick panic' in case Stella really hates scampi crisps and if she smelled of them she's be repellent to her, which makes Stella laugh at her. Pip then thanks her for coming to the pub and apologises because it's awkward; Stella however is fine, and tells her to relax. Pip suggests they should all get really smashed and then tell Ruth, tonight, only then she might not remember in the morning and they'd have to tell her all over again; when Stella says that doesn't sound like the best idea Pip has ever had she quickly claims to have been joking. Half joking. Stella short-circuits her maunderings by telling her that she looks beautiful, by the way, and Pip is surprised and thanks her [but doesn't reciprocate. Chris].

Brad has gone outside to ring Mia, and tells her that George is really doing his head in: he is inside chatting up some girl, and the other day he was all 'I'm having a really bad time, I really need you Brad' get out the violins and everything, and now Brad feels really stupid. He wishes he's blown him out. Mia thinks he did the right thing, for which he thanks her. He wishes she was there, but she doesn't want to hang out with George. He understands that, but he wishes she were there and they could just run away.

Pip unsteadily asks whether she can get anyone another drink, getting the comment from Ruth that she knocked that one back quickly enough. The others are fine, and Pip says she thinks it's the crisps: they're very salty. Stella suggests she could just get herself a coke, but Pip doesn't want a coke: why would she want a coke? Ruth suggests they've been there about ten minutes and she's already drunk. Pip, very carefully, says she doesn't think she is drunk but when asked doesn't know whether she ate this evening; she's not that hungry at the moment and can't sleep very well, she doesn't know why: she's just too excited. When Ruth questions this and asks whether she is going to tell them what she is so excited about she says 'maybe', and then 'let's see.' Stella gets up to get her a coke and also a sandwich, which Ruth hails as a good idea. When she asks what sort of sandwich to get, Pip denies wanting one and asks why; Ruth says to soak up the alcohol and Pip asks why they are both treating her like a teenage girl, to which Ruth responds it's because she is acting like one. Pip squeaks that she's just a bit in love; there is a pause, and she adds 'with life'. Stella announces that she is going to the bar, and Pip begs her not to get her a coke: get her a proper drink. Stella, departing, says, 'Only if you promise to eat a sandwich.'

When Brad goes back in George tells him that it wasn't George the ash-blonde was looking at: it was Brad. George then tries to persuade him to forget about Mia and not miss his only chance with someone that good-looking. Brad tells him that he thinks he is going to go, and when George protests, says he is going home even though it is only half-past nine. He's not interested in another girl; he's crazy about Mia, who is the best thing that's ever happened to him. As it happens, she is standing right behind him, and when she asks if he said she was the best thing that ever happened to him, George lies and says Brad was talking about the maths course he did. Brad has had enough of George's rubbish and tells her that he did say that, actually. About her, not the maths course. Mia says the same about him, and George, disgusted, asks them to stop it and tells Mia crossly that when men are out at the pub the most basic rule is that girlfriends don't turn up. Brad informs him that he was just about to leave anyway, and when George crossly says great, abandon him, that's just perfect, says roundly that George knows why Brad was leaving before Mia showed up, and he is to stop with the old 'pity me, poor me' act. Mia asks why he was leaving and when Brad doesn't want to say, George tells her that the ten-out-of-ten girl over there is after Brad. Mia agrees that she is very pretty, and George can't resist asking whether Mia is a bit of a lesbian; Brad, exasperated, asks what is wrong with him. George huffs off to get himself another drink, and Brad asks Mia how she got there so quickly; it seems she was already on her way over, planning to spend the night at Grange Farm and see him in the morning, but on the phone he sounded like he needed rescuing. Brad says that he did, thanks her, kisses her, and then says he thinks she should stay at his place overnight. His mum will be fine with it. When she asks what about Will, and her dad, he tells her to text Will so he knows she is safe and where she is, and then turn her phone off; they can deal with everyone in the morning. Mia thinks it a really excellent plan.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 10th September, 2023

Josh is in a strop, Pip is in a flap, and Paul and Stella are maddeningly calm.

Characters: Paul, Ruth, David, Josh, Pip, Stella
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Jess Bunch
Editor: Jeremy Howe

There is a big Sunday lunch happening at Brookfield, to which both Josh and Paul have been invited; Paul counts as a guest, but Josh does not and to prove this is expected to serve the drinks. Ruth asks Josh whether he has any plans for Wednesday; David has forgotten that this is his son's birthday, and Paul is faux-outraged at not having been told that it is. Josh has made no plans, but Paul feels that he is under an obligation to celebrate the occasion. As this, and David's birthday the following week, is being discussed Pip breezes in, not to come to lunch but to look for a raincoat she has mislaid; she is going for a picnic with Stella and Rosie. Ruth feels that if it is going to rain they would be better off sharing the family meal; there is plenty to eat, since Jill and Leonard won't be there and when David was preparing it he didn't realise this. Pip however says that she might come back later and pinch some roast potatoes, but she is definitely going on her picnic; David offers to keep her some, and label them so Ben doesn't take them. Ruth tries to put pressure on her to come to the meal and bring Stella and Rosie, but Pip won't. After she has got away Ruth proclaims that they are going to get absolutely soaked, though David says that is up to them. Paul now wants to know how old Josh will be, and is told twenty-six, which leads to Ruth cooing about 'twenty-six years ago'; Paul then goes on making a fuss about the lack of plans.

The picnic party is about to set off when Pip passes on Ruth's invitation; Stella wouldn't mind going to Brookfield, but Pip doesn't want to. Pip then tries to turn this into a debate about whether their not going looks weird, but Stella is not interested in playing that game, so Pip says she feels paranoid after Friday night: when Stella, reasonably enough, asks 'Why?', Pip wonders whether they gave themselves away. Stella doesn't think so, and Pip says she would hate Ruth to find out before they told her; Stella agrees that they are sneaking around a bit. In the end they just go.

After lunch Paul is complimentary about the food and thanks Ruth, saying they should come to The Stables next time, which Ruth, with David's enthusiastic agreement, says they would love. Paul suggests getting a date in the diary, but Josh feels they don't have to go that far. David now breaks to Josh the real reason he's been invited over: they want him to be in charge of entertainment the Harvest Supper, which they want to be an advert for or reminder of the events barn. Now they have closed down the B&B, they need to make more money from the barn. Paul volunteers the pair of them to do the entertainment; Josh says 'No, Paul', and when Paul reckons they could think of something, tells him that he can if he wants. Ruth vetoes that: there is no way she will permit him to hand this on to Paul. Paul wouldn't mind, but David too doesn't see any reason why Paul should do it. Josh doesn't see why he should either, and says so. David irrelevantly tells him because Pip is sorting out the last of the B&B bookings for them, and she's got Rosie, she's doing the milking, and they're scoring the sheep later this week. Over-riding Josh as he starts to speak, he adds that Ben has only just restarted his course and Josh is the one with the most time on his hands. Josh disputes that he has much time, plus it's his birthday this week – an equally irrelevant argument which David and Ruth treat as it deserves, with laughter. He points out that just because he hasn't made any big plans that doesn't mean he wants to run around doing errands for his parents. They always do this round his birthday, on which, as he reminds them, last year they made him throw away most of his stuff preparatory to throwing him out of home to make room for the B&B they are now giving up. Ruth gives him mock sympathy and the 'poor Josh' treatment, saying he has a history of deprivation and neglect; Josh complains that they can't just keep springing extra stuff on him at the last minute. Paul butts in to point out that Josh doesn't have to do the actual organising on his actual birthday, at which piece of meddling David gives a triumphant 'Hah!' and confirms that's agreed then, while Josh groans.

At the playground Pip is shouting instructions to Rosie, who was climbing up the slide rather than sliding down it. She tells Stella that she's really great with the child, much more patient than she is herself; Stella laughs it off on the grounds that's because she doesn't have to do it all the time, but Pip reckons she talks to Rosie like a person, not a kid. Stella has begun to feel that not telling Ruth about them doesn't feel honest and they ought to tell her soon; Pip says she was jealous of Brad and Mia in the pub just being together without any concerns: they could snog in the middle of the street and no-one would bat an eye. Stella points out that snogging in the middle of the street is not the same as telling her mum, though she will kiss Pip in the street whenever she likes. Stella has worked out that the difficulty is because Ruth is Stella's friend and Ruth's mum, and the gayness of the relationship isn't the point, though it isn't that Pip thinks Ruth is reacting badly to that, is it. Pip just needs a tiny bit more time, apparently. Maybe she'll tell Ruth when she comes back from her weekend away with Rosie; anyway they have only been going out together for three days. Would Stella tell her mother after three days? No, agrees Stella in horror, she wouldn't.

As they drive home the two hundred and fifty yards or so from Brookfield to The Stables Josh crossly asks why Paul had to offer to wash up: was it to make him look bad? No, Paul did it because it was the polite thing to do to say thank you for a lovely lunch. Josh disputes that the lunch was lovely and compares it unfavourably to Jill's cooking: her roast dinners are the stuff of legend. Paul is certain they should cook for David and Ruth next time, but Josh is adamantly opposed to the idea; Paul tells him off for being quite miserable. He thinks David and Ruth are great, really friendly, and interesting. Josh finds it hard to believe, but Paul had a really nice afternoon and Josh was in a right grump. Josh apologises. Paul wants to know what the matter is with him, and Josh tells him that it's the idea of being twenty-six, closer to thirty than twenty; Paul is only twenty-three. And he's had enough of this: they are going out on Wednesday night and they need to have a good time, so Josh is to ring some people, any people, tell everyone the plan and tell them to be there. Josh protests that he doesn't have a plan, but Paul just tells him to think of one.

Pip is now in a tiz because Stella kissed her in the car and she thinks Rosie was awake and saw them. They argue about whether she was awake or asleep, with Stella being calm and reasonable and Pip getting more and more shrill and accusatory. When Stella says that she really thinks it is going to be OK, Pip retorts that she really thinks that's a bit too easy for Stella to say. Stella suggests that if Pip is so worried, she could just ask Rosie, or do some subtle digging. Pip continues fussing. She has never told Rosie about the possibility of her meeting someone because she thought it wasn't going to happen and anyway she was going to cross that bridge when she came to it. Mildly exasperated, Stella points out that maybe she has come to that bridge.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 11th September, 2023

A Stranger worries about Jim, and Helen's got Lee worried.

Characters: Lee, Helen, David, Jim, Mysterious Stranger
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Jess Bunch
Editor: Jeremy Howe

On the drive home from the airport Lee is excitedly extolling the wonders of San Francisco, which is just like in the films; Helen doesn't know about car chases on the steep streets, and Lee can't think of any film with one in it. Helen humours him in his enthusiasm, and when he asks if she has been OK replies brightly that she's been fine fine fine, so that he immediately realises something is amiss. When he asks what is wrong she says 'nothing', then immediately rescinds that in order to tell him that a few things went wrong while he was away. She didn't tell him before because she didn't want him to worry and everything's fine now, well not fine but it's all OK. Obviously she does need to tell him about it otherwise that would just be wrong, so, yeah... He asks what happened.

David has come to the village shop in search of emergency ketchup for Rosie [mustard goes quite well with Boiled Child. Gus]; Jim fails to reply to his greeting because he is engrossed in reading. After some chat, David gets his ketchup from the shelf next to the salad cream, and before actually serving him Jim asks whether the has ever read this book, Lark Rise to Candleford? Like everyone else in Ambridge Jim is an enthusiast, and thinks David might find it very interesting from the farming point of view. [Why, I wonder? It seems vanishingly unlikely that David, or come to that any modern farmer, would. Chris.] He offers to lend his copy to David, but David doesn't think he would have time to read it: it's all the extra stuff they've taken on. They're going big on the flower and produce show on Sunday [showing what? Chris] and hosting the harvest supper in a couple of weeks and he is starting to wish they were not involved in either. Jim praises his community spirit. David isn't sure Josh will be responsible for the entertainment for the harvest supper as he has been told to; Jim asks what kind of entertainment and then offers his piano teacher as a possibility. She sings.

It is clear that Lee is now thoroughly alarmed and unhappy about what has happened during the month he has been away. He realises that he spoke with Helen on the evening of the day on which she had been terrified that Rob might have snatched Jack if she'd had Jack with her, and understandably wants to know why Helen pretended everything was fine in the call. Impatiently she reminds him that she has already explained that, and that his holiday was important because it was his time with his girls. He exclaims that this is too weird; she asserts that she was protecting him and he shouts that he doesn't want to be protected! They are in a relationship, or he thought they were. Helen implores him not to be angry: it's the last thing she needs. He is, however: this is quite a lot of information all at once. And why the hell did he give George's job back after what he did to her? It makes no sense whatsoever! She says it was because she felt guilty for losing it, and he says that's ridiculous. She asks him to just wait a minute, and then to shut up and look at the road: why are they all getting filtered into one lane? He doesn't know, and when she asks him to look on his phone and find out he discovers there has been an accident, and thinks they are going to be there for hours.

In the doorway to the shop David collides with a stranger coming in, who tells him she is fine but he should look where he's going next time and gives him a little lecture about not rushing about in case he injures himself or someone else. Somewhat flummoxed by this, he leaves, and she asks whether they sell sandwiches. They have none left, so, instead of directing her to the tea-room or The Bull, Jim sells her bread, cheese, tomatoes and cucumber; also the loan of cutlery and a plate which he keeps behind the counter in case they are needed. They get on well together, and he tells her to bring back the plate when she is next in the area: that's all part of the service.

Lee is trying to get through to Helen the idea that he is an adult and could have handled it; he wishes she had talked to him. She continues to protest that she was desperate not to spoil things for him, and he tells her sternly that the truth is important, crucial. And if he's honest, he doesn't really understand why she didn't tell him. After suggesting that when they get home he can go for a run if he is feeling confined in a small space (which he rightly rejects as not being the issue) she apologises and admits it was a mistake.

The Mysterious Stranger is leaving a message on someone's phone: she wants him or her to stop ignoring her, please. She is worried about him or her and sick of this. She'll be in the village for another hour at least; could s/he come and meet her, and they can go to that pub, The Bull. She could meet him or her there in about an hour. Please call her back for crying out loud. It's so disrespectful! She then realises that Jim has overheard her, and says she doesn't normally leave people messages like that. Though Jim says it is none of his business, she tells him it was a message for her brother, who is basically driving her insane; Jim imagined it was her son and thinks he wasn't too far off, and she agrees and explains he's a lot younger and she's been like a second mother to him. Anyway, she was just bringing Jim's cutlery back. When asked about her lunch, she says the blue cheese was delicious and Jim tells her it is from the village; she then reverts to anger that her brother just won't ring her back or respond to any of her messages. It's driving her up the wall. Jim sympathises: siblings or sons, family can be very frustrating. At this juncture she notices a mole on the back of Jim's hand and asks whether he has had it checked out; has he checked it's nothing he should worry about? Jim thought it was just what happens when you get old, but she advises him to see his GP, just to be on the safe side. He agrees to do that.

Lee and Helen are nearly home, and he opines that they have hopefully heard the last of Rob and they can all move on, but Helen at once gloomily reminds him that she is still waiting to hear from Dominic about Rob's appeal and find out if he's been successful; when Lee says that he won't be; she argues the point and when Lee starts to say that he really thinks... interrupts him to say it doesn't matter what he really thinks. She does apologise [for this revelation of her true opinion of Lee. Chris] and claim she didn't mean it like that, she meant... but Lee just wants to know what Dominic thinks. It seems that he is cautiously optimistic. Lee then asks if she is hungry and offers her her one of the 'terrible' American sweets he has got for the boys, but she rejects it saying that she has lost her appetite a bit recently. Lee tactfully says that she does look slimmer, and then ruins it by adding that they will need to feed her up a bit. He offers her the sweet again; she refuses to take it, repeatedly; then she sighs and asks him what Mum has said, and refuses to believe him when he denies having heard anything from Pat. He has no idea what she is talking about, since he hasn't spoken to Pat since he went to America. He then wants to know what she thinks Pat told him, and she admits that there is something else going on that ... she didn't want to get into it now, she just wanted to get home and see him before the boys got back from school and now they won't have any time and they'll be back and mum will be there too. Soothingly, Lee points out that they've got time now, haven't they? Yes, she guesses they have.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 12th September, 2023

Natasha plans a takeover while David wants to leave Pip to it.

Characters: Natasha, Helen, Ruth, David, Pat
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Jess Bunch
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Natasha hails Helen and they talk about the journey back from the airport and Lee's time in San Francisco; it's clear Natasha thinks there is something wrong with Helen but she sympathises for the wrong reason, saying that it can be hard when a partner comes back after time apart and it takes a while to adjust. What Natasha actually wants is to arrange for her, Helen and Pat to meet about the tea-room. She's keen to know what Helen thinks of her and Tom's proposal [by which she means her proposal. Tom will think as he is told. Chris] but won't say what that is, and leaves without saying when or where this meeting is to take place.

The scoring of the sheep is taking place without apparent use of weighing equipment or identification for the lambs involved [and without Pip, in spite of it having been given as a reason for her not to be able to help with the harvest supper. Chris] and Ruth is wondering whether Pip is OK at the moment: she seems a bit on edge. Apparently she didn't want to let Ruth in when she took the cold roast potatoes over to Rickyard on Sunday night, and she was the same this morning when she said she couldn't help with the scoring. Ruth wonders whether she has had a row with 'the woman', whoever 'the woman' is. David feels they have other things to worry about, such as convincing Grey Gables at the Flower and Produce Show that they ought to buy Brookfield beef, and Hector [probably the traditional name for a Brookfield bull, see also 'mini-Hector' in the toy farm. Gus] needs a good scrub for Sunday; Ruth adds the entertainment for the harvest supper, which David tells her may be being sorted out by Jim if Josh does nothing about it.

At the Meeting convened by Natasha at the unknown time and venue, Natasha explains to Helen and Pat that she and Tom think the tea-room could be a real money-spinner; when Helen says it never has been, Natasha says that with Grey Gables reopening, Ambridge will have so many more visitors, with which for some reason Pat agrees in spite of the fact that Grey Gables has existed as a hotel in the village for sixty years and is unlikely to be any larger or busier than it was pre-covid. Grey Gables could really put 'this place' on the map, enthuses Natasha, and they would be missing a trick not to try to cash in on it; Helen and Pat both think she is right about that. Helen however doesn't understand what Natasha is proposing, possibly because Natasha has not so far not given them the slightest clue, so she now does put forward her idea. Basically, she thinks a change is overdue and we [who is 'we'? Fallon runs the place, not Bridge Farm. Chris] need to go up-market. She generally belittles the present tea-room (though Pat says that she loves what Fallon has done with it and Natasha immediately agrees that it is lovely) particularly the upcycled furniture element, on the grounds that as a concept for a modern café it's a bit dated. She thinks they could create something much more sleek, streamlined... Pat is dubious, and Helen asks for some detail. Natasha's idea of what people want in a café is blond wood trestle tables, lots of light, loads of greenery, shelves of succulents, a little bit Scandi but not too much, a couple of big skylights [which won't leak. Chris. And will be a bugger to keep clean. Gus] and selling Bridge Farm produce there as well as amazing looking cakes and salads. Make it, in fact, an extension of the shop. It needs to be aspirational, according to Natasha. They want to cash in on things like Grey Gables serving their cheese; Helen points out there is no guarantee that it will. This gives Natasha pause, but she rallies and says she thinks they could make a lot more of Bridge Farm as a brand [a brand associated with giving people E.coli. That is why they changed the name of the brand to Ambridge Organics. Chris] and aim to get into the Sunday supplements. Helen wants to know where Fallon fits into this, and Natasha says Fallon is one of the issues she really wanted to discuss with them both: obviously they need to handle the whole situation carefully, but she suggests offering Fallon a salaried position as their manager. It's a good offer for her: she'd get a decent salary and job security; Natasha imagines she'd jump at the chance. When she puts it like that Pat can see it, and when Helen asks what about Emma, Natasha graciously grants that she can be their employee too if she wants. Both Pat and Helen think it all sounds pretty amazing. Helen is still unsure how Fallon will react, but is breezily assured that she can let Natasha handle that situation. Pat has doubts about competing with Grey Gables, but Helen reassures her that Grey Gables will be high end, whereas the tea-room (in spite of being Scandi) will be quite rustic; Natasha seizes on the word and exclaims that rustic is key. High end rustic. Aspirational. She gets in a dig about people not travelling from far and wide for Fallon's carrot cake and sideboards.

Over their sandwiches David and Ruth continue to discuss things in general, starting with Stella not being there though Ruth thought she might drop by to see them, since last week she said something about wanting to catch up. David thinks Ruth and Stella don't want to 'catch up' with him there, and she agrees, mentioning that when she went to the pub with Stella on Friday Pip was there, so it wasn't quite the same. Jim rings to confirm his piano teacher's willingness to help out at the harvest supper, and after that Ruth wonders if Pip's new girlfriend is actually Stella; David snorts with laughter then asks if they can't just leave Pip to it? Ruth protests that she is, she's just curious. David asserts that Pip will tell them who it is when she's ready, but Ruth harps on about it being Stella; David doesn't credit it. He thinks Stella is being a friend to Pip, like a mentor. Ruth giggles at the idea of a lesbian mentor, but actually thinks he might be right; David says there's more than ten years between them, and Ruth reckons more like fifteen, and David is of the opinion that having had to come out herself, Stella is just being supportive. He then speculates it might be one of the mums from school, which Ruth thinks isn't a bad idea.

Pat now says they have to be realistic about what they can afford, and Natasha says that she and Tom will make sure the figures are really robust. She'll do some costings and get it all into a spreadsheet. Then they can get together again, with Tom and Tony as well. She breezes out, and when Pat asks Helen what she thinks, Helen replies that she thinks Fallon is going to be really unhappy. She also thinks it's really exciting and everything Natasha said made sense. [This proves conclusively that Helen has an intellect slightly less developed than that of a corned beef sandwich. Chris.] She wants to see how realistic their vision is: there's no rush, is there? Anyhow, she'd better get back to the dairy or Susan will think she's gone AWOL. Pat stops her: she doesn't want to hassle her, but she wants to know whether Helen managed to get a GP appointment. Yes, she got one for Friday but plans to cancel it because her usual doctor is away and the surgery don't know when Dr. Ashbury will be back. She claims she's told Lee now, so he's going to be looking out for her; Pat knows what he's like on health stuff, and Pat is being wonderful, so maybe she doesn't need to go and see a GP. She knows she has a bit of an issue and she knows what to do. She's been here before [so have we, Helen, so have we! Chris] and it's nothing like last time. Pat doesn't want it to get as bad as last time, and she and Lee are not enough; Helen needs professional help and advice and maybe another doctor will be wonderful, maybe even better. Helen argues that she only wants to see Dr. Ashbury, but Pat tells her she is scared of Helen getting really ill, and feels she's not supposed to say that or put pressure on her but she just wants her to be all right. No, more than that, to be better than all right, she wants her to be happy. It's really selfish, but could Helen just go to the GP on Friday? Please? For her? Without much conviction Helen says OK, and Pat breathes 'thank you.'

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 13th September, 2023

Pat likes Jennifer better then when she was alive, and Paul gets his own way.

Characters: Usha, Pat, Paul, Josh, Helen, Ian
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Jess Bunch
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Having taken on the job of organising the tea and cakes for the flower and produce show, Usha is now ranting about volunteers changing their minds about what they are going to bake for it. She wants to know whether Pat is still doing a coffee and walnut, which Pat will be. She is going to do her best to channel her dear departed sister-in-law, not that it will be any match for hers. She misses Jennifer; all that energy and competence and love. Usha is sympathetic and asks if she is OK, and Pat says she is very much feeling the loss of Jennifer this week: she was always so involved in the flower and produce show. As she extols Jennifer's various expertise, Pat becomes tearful, and apologises, then says she thinks they are pretty-much on top of things (Usha agrees absolutely); Pat is doing the teas with the help of Joy, and Lynda said she'd give them a hand... Usha is not deceived by Pat's attempt at stoicism, and Pat cracks and tells her about Helen having a hard time at the moment but turning down help.

The idea of Josh's birthday night out being a trip down to The Bull with Ben, Lily and Pip horrifies Paul, who insists Josh must do something else more congenial to Paul. Paul wants to know about a mate's band Josh mentioned at one point, and demands that they should go to their gig in Felpersham. Josh doesn't particularly want to but is overborne: Paul messages Ben, Lily and Pip to see if they want to come and see The Straw Crows.

In the Bridge Farm kitchen Usha is making tea for Pat, which Pat feels is the wrong way round: she doesn't know why she is such a wreck today. Usha continues to sympathise, until Pat tells her the thing she's not telling her and is avoiding telling anyone: Helen's struggling with food again. Usha asks if Helen is aware, and knows it's a problem, but feels that it's something when Pat tells her that yes, Helen does know. As more is about to be said Pat hears Helen coming in and Usha seamlessly asks if there is anything else they need to work out before Sunday, and they are talking about the F&P when Helen greets Usha. She has come to ask Pat if she has any nice biscuits that she can offer Ian when he comes over in a few minutes and she makes him tea in the office. Pat hopes this may mean good news about the cheese, but Helen honestly doesn't think so: because he's a friend he probably wants to tell her face to face. She rushes out again, and Pat asks Usha what they are doing about labels, to which Usha replies that Mia has designed some really pretty ones for each category; when Helen is definitely gone Pat asks anxiously whether Usha thinks she heard Pat; Usha really doesn't. Pat would hate Helen to think she is telling everyone Helen has an eating disorder, but Usha feels that Pat needed to talk about the situation they are all having to deal with. Pat tells her that the trouble with an eating disorder is that as a mother you feel it is all your fault and try to work out what you did wrong about food when they were children; they always ate well, she says defensively, they live on a farm for goodness' sake!

Ian implores Helen to take the biscuits away or he will finish them, then asks if she wants the good news first, or the good news. Grey Gables wants to put in a regular order of cheese for regulars. Helen is overjoyed, having given up hope. Ian is sorry about the wait: it was taking him forever to get any sort of decision out of Adil. He suggests they go to the pub tonight to celebrate, or even have dinner if she likes; she turns down the meal but is happy with the idea of going out for a little drink.

The gig in Felpersham is being brilliant and Josh is very happy Paul bullied him into coming. The band is a folk band and Paul is rather surprised by them, but assures Josh that he likes them; Josh enthuses that they are not hippy-drippy folk but contemporary, modern folk; does Paul hate them? Paul says they just weren't what he was expecting. Josh is so glad that Paul forced them to come! And the girl playing the violin is quite hot. Paul suggests he ought to get his friend to introduce them, but Josh [most uncharacteristically, going by previous encounters with the other sex. Chris] thinks her out of his league and has no chance, and doesn't want to risk making a fool of himself.

Helen is having a slim-line vodka tonic and Ian a pint and crisps. They are very happy to see each other, after not having done so for a while. Helen has something she needs to say: she is ashamed of herself about the cheese competition. Ian tells her it doesn't matter and she is to forget it, claiming that it wasn't a crime and no-one got hurt [except for the woman whose cheese didn't win as a result of Helen's actions. Chris] and nothing got lost or broken; Helen has been through a lot and deserves a break. If rigging a cheese contest is the worst thing she's ever done... She tries to go on castigating herself but he won't have it: she's a good person who's had some bad luck but he reckons she's on the up. She hopes so; he knows so. She tells him she is still waiting to hear from her solicitor about the appeal;if He is allowed access to Jack she doesn't know what she'll do, she really doesn't. Ian asks what her solicitor says: how likely is it that Rob could win? Not very likely, Helen thinks, but still, there is a chance, and while there's a chance she just feels sick. She's meant to hear this week, so she's just waiting, on edge every time her phone rings. And she is really sorry about the cheese. Ian tells her to forget it: they'll never talk about cheese-gate again.

Back at The Stables, Lily is falling asleep on the sofa, and Paul, who is slightly drunk, talks Josh into booking the Straw Crows for the harvest super; when he's booked the band he can see the violinist again. Josh texts his mate Tadhg about it.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 14th September, 2023

Ruth gets the wrong idea, and Helen thinks it's all over.

Characters: Pip, Lottie, Lee, Helen, Ruth
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Jess Bunch
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Waiting at the school gates, Pip converses with her old school chum Lottie about their kids, their lives, and Lottie trying to set up a date for Pip with a friend of hers, whom she praises to the skies. Pip explains she is not interested because she is sort of seeing someone, and is being evasive in the face of Lottie's insistence on being told everything when her phone rings; it's Ruth asking Pip to run an errand and also inviting Lottie and Maddie back to Brookfield for dinner. Lottie accepts, but after Pip has rung off demands to know the name of Pip's new man before the kids come out. When Pip tells her that it's not a man, it's a woman, she breathes 'wow' as if nobody ever had a lesbian relationship before in the history of the world [or at least in The Archers; she's right about that. Chris.] Pip is glad to be telling someone; it's been quite strange and lonely, and Lottie is the first friend she's told. Lottie is honoured, then asks if Pip's happy, and when told that she is, then wants to know who it is. The information that it is Stella, whom she has thought of as Ruth's friend, calls forth another 'wow'. So is that a bit complicated? It is indeed complicated for Pip, who doesn't know if it is for her mum because she hasn't asked her [or presumably if it is for Stella, for the same reason. Chris] because she has not told her so she doesn't know. Well, she knows Pip has a girlfriend but not who it is. Lottie is of the opinion that they really need to talk about this. Does Rosie know anything yet? No, because it's so early. Pip tells her about the added complication of Rosie possibly having seen Stella kiss her on Sunday; Pip is afraid she might come out with it at some point. Pip doesn't know whether to say anything to her or what to say, especially since she and Stella don't know what this thing is or whether it's going anywhere. So she did nothing and has just been in a turmoil, while Stella thinks she's gone a bit mad: she's supportive but at the same time Pip has not played it cool at all. Lottie says they are coming out and there is a Hilarious Misunderstanding [OMT] because Pip assumes a different meaning from the kids coming out of school.

Lee is home unexpectedly early with paperwork to do; Helen is also at home doing paperwork and offers to make him a cup of tea. Jack is going to Granny's for supper and Henry's got football practice, and when Lee asks if she's heard from the solicitor she says no. Lee suggests she could ring him; she has, and there is no news. When it looks as if Lee may be about to make tea she attacks him for treating her like she'll break; he says he's just trying to be nice. She retorts that it would be nice to be treated like a normal human being [something she has spent decades trying to ensure she isn't. Chris.]

It's nice for Ruth to see Lottie and Maddie; she thanks Lottie for taking Ben out the other night, but Lottie disclaims: they didn't 'take him out', they just went out and had a good night. She assures Ruth that any night out with Pip is a good night, to be honest: it sounds a bit over-dramatic, but Pip has changed her life, really. She was quite lonely till they reconnected. It's lovely to share being single mums, and the girls get on so well. Pip comes in having left the girls watching telly, and Ruth starts to go and put on the pasta while Pip and Lottie giggle about how the girls jumped up and down about having tea together. Sometimes Lottie can't think straight with that constant, you know... Pip and Ruth agree that they are the same. Pip and Rosie are away for the flower and produce show but Ruth suggests that Lottie ought to take Maddison; Usha has organised face-painting, and a bouncy castle which, as Pip points out, breaks protocol for the event. Since Lottie has no plans for Sunday, and there will be amazing cakes, they will definitely be there.

Lee admits to Helen that he rang the help-line of a charity that supports people with eating disorders, looking for advice. Helen feels that it is lovely, and wants to know if they were helpful; Lee thinks they were great, and they told him loads of stuff. He wasn't going to tell her about them but then thought he would just be honest with her because not treating her like a normal person feels so unnatural. It was a shock when she told him: when did it start, how did he miss it why wasn't he paying more attention? And that got him worried about whether he'd been colluding with her: he thought they eat very healthily, and he's conscious of his weight because all this is part of his job, but maybe him talking about calories and BMI and all of that isn't very good for her. Helen explains that what she is struggling with has nothing to do with his job or his approach to fitness, it's to do with Rob. That's what's changed. Lee wants to support her, but this is an area he doesn't know a lot about so he's playing catch-up. Tonight, for instance, he has no idea what to cook for dinner or if she's planning to cook but not eat; he doesn't know whether to talk about food or avoid talking about food, he doesn't know what triggers her and what's OK; he just wants to do the right thing but he doesn't know what the right thing is. Helen tells him they can work all this out: they can make a plan and make it all right: she is not going to let this thing destroy her or destroy them. He tells her he never imagined for a minute that she would.

Lottie wishes Pip could come with her to a party on Saturday; she doesn't want to go on her own because it's her ex-boyfriend's engagement. Ruth sympathises, and Pip wants to know why she has to go at all; Lottie thinks it's from pride. It would just be easier if Pip went with. What should she wear? Pip considers, then says she looks amazing in 'that gold slinky thing'. Ruth drops a teaspoon and Lottie asks whether that might be a bit much; Pip says yeah, but in a good way, and she'd look great in a bin bag because she's so beautiful. Ruth drops several teaspoons and, when asked, confirms that Lottie is beautiful. She then says she found some bubbles in the cupboard earlier and wonders if the girls would like to play with them; she goes to find them. When she's gone Lottie starts to laugh, and tells Pip that her mum thinks Lottie is her girlfriend; Pip cant think why she would, and Lottie explains that it was when Pip said Lottie was beautiful: Ruth's face! It was like a sudden realisation. Pip asks if she's sure, and says she's sorry because it must feel really awkward, but Lottie makes it clear that it's fine, just a misunderstanding. Obviously Pip will explai it's not her, but says she might not do it right here right now. Lottie says that's not a problem at all: it's funny, in a way. [Does she wish it were true? Chris.]

Helen and Lee feel lucky to have each other, and thought she talks about having some really bad days he assures her that none of this nightmare has been her fault, and he has himself made some pretty serious errors in all this. Helen doesn't know how he's supposed to deal with a completely toxic ex and do it all perfectly: she thinks he's been brilliant, though he disagrees. As they are comforting each other and having a hug because they have missed each other, Helen's phone rings: it is Dominic. After a short and obviously encouraging conversation she rings off and tells Lee that Rob's application has been denied: it's over. It's really over!

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 15th September, 2023

Usha reveals all by mistake, and Helen reveals not a great deal entirely on purpose.

Characters: Ruth, Pip, Stella, Jim, Helen,Usha, Doctor (Azra) Malik
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Jess Bunch
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The sheep-scoring over, Pip and Ruth are observing the ewes at Home Farm when Stella sees them and comes over. Ruth is going home to change before going to get the F&P barbecue set up with Usha's help, but Pip plans to stay to have lunch with Stella rather than take a lift home. Once Ruth is gone Pip and Stella agree that Rosie probably didn't see them kiss and Pip apologises for having freaked out, before telling Stella that her mum now thinks she is dating her mate Lottie. Stella is fascinated: why on earth does she think that?

Jim and Helen are both in the doctor's waiting room and have a chat; Jim tells her about the unusual woman who advised him to get his mole checked. Imagine, he says, if a woman forgetting her lunch saves his life. Helen laughs with him about it and they agree it is nice to see each other; he asks after her sons, then rather awkwardly tells her that he knows from his own life that it's important to say things when you feel them, and he is ever so sorry about everything that's been going on, then as she thanks him asks anxiously whether it was OK to say that. She tells him it was.

The Kiss is still being discussed by Stella and Pip [you'd think they might be able to move on by now. Chris] and Stella reveals that she's bought Rosie a copy of her (Stella's) favourite kids' book, and wrapped it and everything. Pip says it's really kind, and adds that she'll miss her when she's away over the weekend, which is a long time proportionately when they've only been going out for a week. They giggle together, and kiss. Inopportunely, there is a knock on the door: Usha has come to collect Jennifer's old tea-urn for the F&P. Brian said he would leave it in the office for her. After a certain amount of awkward chat they find the urn and Usha takes it and leaves, wittering. Pip says that she saw them: she was gabbling, and Usha never gabbles. And she hammered on the door really loudly to warn them she was there. Stella has started to think this secrecy thing is bad for Pip's mental health, and suggests they should hire a plane to tow a flag saying 'Pip 4 Stella' over Ambridge, and get it over with in one go.

Helen is telling the doctor that she nearly cancelled her appointment because she couldn't face talking to someone she didn't know: does the doctor know when Doctor Ashbury will be back? Managing not to be offended, the doctor is all charm and says she is a locum but will probably be there for a few months, covering. She asks Helen to outline the problem so they can work out what to do, and gets a heavily redacted account of Helen's history of eating difficulties: she used to have an eating disorder years ago, starting in her twenties; she went to a clinic and got over it, or rather through it because you don't get over that stuff but she did get through it, and got a handle on it, and it hasn't been a significant problem since then [so not both times she has been pregnant, when it certainly was. Chris]; she's careful with what she eats, but not too careful, she doesn't calorie count or at least she didn't though she still knows all the numbers. The doctor laughs and agrees when Helen says that a lot of women know that stuff and you can't unknow those numbers, but ... Lately she's started restricting herself again. It's sort of thrilling – and she can't believe she said that bit out loud! The doctor reassures her it's OK, and she needs to talk about this because it's really important. Helen now feels she is judging her, but the doctor promises that she's not. She is really glad Helen came in, and tells her she has to try not to listen to that voice in her head that says horrible things to you: she should be kind to herself and remember she would never talk to a friend like that [oh wouldn't she. Chris], would she? Helen claims that of course she wouldn't. The doctor now asks whether Helen knows what might have triggered, or re-triggered, this disordered eating, and Helen immediately tells her that her ex-husband is back in the country and he's a really frightening man [but not that he was told in her presence in July that he has three months to live. Chris]. When the doctor asks if that situation is ongoing, Helen responds that he's not allowed near them, and she has just found out he won't be allowed any access in the future, so things should start to improve. And has she got the support of family and friends? Well, her mum knows, and her partner Lee, and they're both great. The doctor reckons that's a good start, then says they must just be practical for a moment: she's going to order some blood tests, so Helen will need to come back in for those and they will send her a letter, or a text, for that appointment; she is also going to refer her to the eating disorder team, who will be in touch as soon as possible. Once the blood results are back she'd like to see Helen again, if that's OK. She gives Helen some leaflets with contact details and various bits of info which Helen probably already knows because she has been through all this before [and none of the advice has changed since 2004 when Helen last acknowledged she had a problem? Chris] and says it has been really good to meet her. Helen returns the compliment. The doctor hopes Helen will feel she cam come back and see her even if she isn't Doctor Ashbury, and when Helen, abashed, admits she ought not to have said that, tells her that she likes a bit of honesty. Before Helen goes she asks her to stand on the scales.

Jim is called in next, and realises to his surprise that the doctor whom he is to see is the woman who came into the shop. He addresses her by name, which is more than Helen did, and goes through to the surgery.

The tea-urn looks a bit the worse for wear, but the other preparations are going well and Usha and Ruth are pleased with themselves. They speak of Jennifer, then Ruth tells Usha that she wants to talk with her about something confidential: basically, Pip's in this new relationship and it's with a woman. The thing that is bothering Ruth is that Pip told David all about it, before she told Ruth. [We haven't heard her tell Ruth at all. Chris.] Ruth thought they were quite close, her and Pip; she is worried about what she fears Pip thought her reaction would be? She thinks of herself as being progressive, but what if Pip doesn't think of her that way at all? Usha reassures her: does Pip know that she knows? Yes, she does, but she told David first and she still hasn't has a proper chat, not like they normally would. It's almost like there was a bit of a wall between them at the moment. Usha suggests that is just because Ruth and Stella are quite close friends, they have their own friendship, and she's sure that's what it is. When Ruth, bewildered, asks what Stella's got to do with it, Usha reveals that she thought it was Stella whom Pip was seeing, and she when Ruth tells her with certainty that it's Lottie Pip's friend from school, she doesn't know what to say. But OK, she saw Pip and Stella, this morning, just now, obviously a couple. She's pretty sure. Ruth can't believe it, and Usha is sorry: she wouldn't have said anything, she just assumed Ruth knew. Ruth, aghast, wonders why on earth they haven't just told her.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 17th September, 2023

Freddie is rumbled, Hector makes trouble and Ruth does her bit.

Characters: Elizabeth, Vince, Freddie, Ruth, David, Stella
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Gwenda Hughes
Editor: Jeremy Howe

After a delayed flight last night Freddie is home at Lower Loxley Hall and has slept through breakfast. Vince and Elizabeth are preparing food, and she remarks that last night Freddie spotted work having started on the charging station. As she puts the chicken in the oven, saying that she will ask Freddie to keep an eye on it while they look in on the Flower and Produce show, he emerges and is greeted joyfully. He agrees to watch the chicken and asks whether they are having Yorkshires; Elizabeth offers coffee and tells him they want to hear all about it. Vince asks where he went and what he got up to, and his reply is 'everywhere and everything': Lisbon, Barcelona, Madrid, Ibiza... Elizabeth remarks that Lisbon is meant to be an amazing city, which reminds Freddie of something: he rushes out with a cry of 'wait there!' Vince remarks that it seems to have done him good, and Elizabeth mutters that on the phone he was so full of how well it was going that she was afraid it was .. 'rubbish', puts in Vince ... hyperbole, corrects Elizabeth, adding that he does seem to have had a brilliant adventure. He comes back in with presents, a wallet for Vince and size five sandals for Elizabeth, claiming he found a little hand-made leather company just outside Lisbon, a family business. Elizabeth says they didn't need presents, and Vince that they would have been fine with a duty-free bottle of Ginjinha, of which Freddie has not heard. Freddie says he was making quite a bit from his gigs: he wanted to get them something nice. Elizabeth thanks him and says that obviously following his dream was what he needed.

At the Flower and Produce show: David is selling a lot of beefburgers. He hopes that Roy having praised them to Adil will get their beef sold to Grey Gables; they have brought Hector, the bull, as an advertisement and plot device. Ruth spots Stella and agonises in case she comes over; what if she knows they know? David still thinks Usha must have got it wrong. Ruth puts him in his place, telling him that Usha saw them kissing, and when David reminds her Usha said she wasn't sure tells him Usha was backtracking because she knew she'd put her foot in it. David just thinks it sounds unlikely; Ruth adduces reasons, starting with Stella having been 'off ' with her for weeks. [Pip and Stella have been 'an item' for a week. Chris.] She has also decided that Pip not being happy about Stella going roller-skating with them was because she wanted to keep the relationship secret. She wishes that she could just talk with Pip, who will be back tonight: they used to be so close, she mourns. When David says they are close, Ruth snaps at him that they are not close enough for Pip to tell her she was dating one of Ruth's best friends! David suggests that they won't know what Pip is thinking until they talk to her, but right now they have a bull and a barbecue to keep them busy.

On Vince's return he is greeted by Freddie, who wants to know where mum is: she has stayed to find out how Jill has done at the show. Vince has come back for forty winks before he makes the Yorkshires; Freddie is just getting in and claims to have run a quick 5k, something he got into in Ibiza, but when Vince notes that there is not a drop of sweat on him, admits he actually lay down in a field and listened to music. He didn't really get into running in Ibiza and doesn't know why he said that. Vince suggests it might be for the same reason he pretended that a leather wallet with 'Made in China' on the label was from a small family-run business just outside Lisbon, then prompts him to go on: was it not quite as brilliant and adventurous as he made out? Freddie admits that it was a disaster; no-one was interested in him as a DJ and they laughed at him. He doesn't know what he was thinking. When Vince asks how he managed, he simply says 'credit card', which stumps Vince: he put two months of holiday on a credit card? Why didn't he just come home? Freddie thought about that, and then imagined Mum's face and couldn't bear telling her he'd messed up, again. Vince tries to convince him that Elizabeth loves him and would want to be there for him: he thinks Freddie should tell her the truth.

It seems that Fallon won the cake competition and Jill's nose is out of joint even though her jam got first prize. Ruth and David then set out to get Hector back into his trailer, and Hector isn't having any. Ruth tries bullying. Stella comes over and offers help in a friendly, chatty way; Ruth tries to turn it down, suggesting that mebbe he just needs some quiet and they could just leave him for a bit, but Stella contradicts her and says they need to show him who's in charge: it's all psychology with bulls, isn't it. She reckons this is going to take all three of them, one either side, and one behind him; whilst she tells them how to deal with their bull David announces he's going to count to three and then they will shout and get Hector moving, then stay with him and keep him going. On three they all shout, and Hector says 'moo' repeatedly.

When Elizabeth gets back she recounts the scene: she knows she shouldn't laugh but it was very funny; Freddie would bet David didn't see the funny side, but Elizabeth is sure he will eventually, and so will Freddie: in a few months this won't seem like such a disaster. Why didn't he come home? He explains that he wanted her to be proud of him, and she exclaims 'I am!' [almost as if she has ever shown the least sign of this. Chris] and gives him a pep talk, from which he derails her and frightens her by talking about dealing and the drug scene out there. She tells him it's just a set-back, and he now knows how it works, but he is no longer sure he's got it in him: he loves the actual playing, it's all the rest of the job he can't hack. She suggests he might be better off doing something else for a bit, and he wants to know what: he's already applied for everything going and all he's had back is a lot of thanks-but-no-thanks. Elizabeth is surprised he's been applying for jobs, but he thought that at least if he could come back and say he had a new job it wouldn't be quite so tragic. Micawber-wise, she tells him something will turn up; he wishes he had her confidence and feels bitterly that he should have taken the job Vince offered him. Still, someone out there must be crying out for a bang-average ex-drug-dealer DJ with no qualifications.

Once they have got Hector into his trailer, the three bullherds relax, and Stella makes a joke or two and she and David laugh together; David says it was a good job she was passing when she did: he isn't sure they would have managed without her, and she really does have fantastic powers of persuasion where bulls are concerned. In an edged voice, Ruth says 'not only where bulls are concerned' and suddenly the atmosphere is no longer pleasant: in a warning tone, David says 'Ruth', and she amplifies her remark: she just means Stella is good at persuading people to do what she wants as well. There is a long pause before Stella asks whether she is all right ['You OK, hun?' Chris]; David mutters that he thought they were going to wait and talk to Pip, and Stella repeats 'Pip?' and adds 'I didn't think –', which is clearly the last straw for Ruth, who tells her that she didn't think they knew about the pair of them, but they do, and were very surprised, weren't they, David, not only because Pip doesn't usually keep secrets from them [in a pig's arse! Chris], but because not two minutes ago Stella was telling Ruth about this amazing woman she's been texting. When Stella tries to say that is nothing, Ruth sweeps on: it didn't sound like nothing when Stella was telling her how excited she was by her, how she was hoping to see her again ... and now she finds Stella is dating her daughter at the same time. Stella quietly tells her she's got it wrong, and if she'd just let her explain, but is cut short. No thanks, Ruth will speak to Pip for herself tomorrow. Thanks for her help, but Ruth savagely opines they're done here.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 18th September, 2023

There's a shock for Fallon and a confrontation for Pip.

Characters: Emma, Fallon, Pip, Ruth, Natasha, Tom
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Gwenda Hughes
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Market research is really simple, according to Emma: ask people what they want and then deliver it. To this end she and Fallon are going to ask people to fill in forms while they wait to be served in the tea-room. Fallon reckons that if they start working on it now, by the time the charging-station café opens in July they'll be ready for them. She has decided there's no point in being negative and worrying about the new café stepping on their toes. She needs to be proactive and do what she can to develop her business and keep hold of their customers. Emma applauds this as very wise. Fallon has been away on holiday in Whitstable, where they went swimming in the sea every day, and this has given her time to think and work out what they need to do. She thanks Emma for covering for her, and Jolene loved the book Emma recommended; Emma (with total inevitability) reverently utters its title, Lark Rise to Candleford, then tells Fallon it is brilliant and she should read it, claiming that it could be set in Ambridge only a hundred years ago. [Lark Rise to Candleford is set in the 1870s and 1880s, and only Lark Rise is like Ambridge in the slightest: Candleford is a small town. Chris] When she is reading it she is imagining all the farms round Ambridge, and the village green, and the pub [neither of which Lark Rise had. Chris] and the post office [which was at Candleford Green, not in Lark Rise. Chris.] Fallon asks about her English course, and Emma reveals that they have accepted her: she has already read one of the set texts. Pip now comes in wanting two flat whites to go, and Emma asks her to fill in one of their 'market research forms' while she waits for them. Pip agrees, so Emma reads out the first question and then tells her how to fill it in, changing an 8 for ambience to a 10; when the next question is read out Pip has to answer a message on her phone and asks Emma to bring her coffees over when they are ready. Emma grumps to Fallon that she knew this would happen: people want to stare at their phones rather than fill in a survey. Fallon says they can see how they go and if necessary one of them can stand at the door and interview people as they leave. Maybe, she adds, they could give them the option of just filling in the forms themselves if they prefer. 'Good plan,' enthuses Emma, who has demonstrated that filling the forns in for them doesn't really work.

The second coffee is for Ruth, as thanks for her having covered the milking. Pip has already seen David and wished him happy birthday and given him the card from Rosie, and it's clear she has been told how Ruth behaved to Stella and intends to have it out with her.

The response to the survey has been positive and Fallon is very pleased: one tells them to keep doing what they're doing because it's her favourite café in all of Borsetshire. Emma particularly enjoys one which says it's a lovely café, but a shame about the untidy entrance to the farm shop opposite [which isn't opposite, but adjacent, with a connecting door. Chris]: 'empty crates and boxes are not what I want to look at whilst enjoying a slice of delicious carrot cake'. Just as Fallon says she might just drop it in next time she sees Tom or Natasha, the couple come in wanting a word; she tells them they've been doing some market research and some of the comments might help Bridge Farm too. They sit at a table with her and Emma goes to get coffees all round.

The explanation to Ruth is not going well, with whatever Pip says being made into an accusation by Ruth, who gives her monosyllabic and grudging replies before saying it's out of character, and when challenged as to whether that means Pip going out with a woman, or Pip going out with Stella, changing her ground to it having been sudden and come out of the blue and following that by asking if Rosie knows. Pip becomes somewhat fed up with the accusation and inquisition, says indignantly that she thought Ruth would be fine with it, and is told that it's not as simple as that.

It is clear to Fallon that the reason Tom and Helen were cagey about the lease is because all along they were planning to chuck her out and take over. Tom tries to pretend that is not their plan, and talks about offering her the post as manager, while Natasha repeatedly assures her that it is nothing personal, just business. It makes sense for them to run the tea-room; it will have a complete revamp and be a completely new business, just in the same building, and with the same customers. Fallon can't believe her ears: and they want her to run it? Natasha makes it clear that they really don't want any animosity, but it is their building and when the lease is up, they want it back. Tom assures her they will offer her a fair price for the fittings, ovens, coffee machine and so on; not the furniture though, chips in Natasha: Fallon can take that. Fallon asks what if she says no, and is told by Tom that she can't, really; Natasha tells her she can turn down the manager's job, but they aren't going to be leasing this building to her in the future.

Ruth's next claim is that she and David are worried about Pip, but when she asks why Ruth flannels that it is because Pip is her daughter and she doesn't want her to get hurt. Pip asserts that she won't get hurt: Ruth knows Stella and she's not like that. Yes, Ruth does know Stella, and she knows that not five minutes ago she was involved with someone else. Pip finds this absurd, and says so. When accused that it is all rushed and hush-hush, Pip says that they didn't want to tell people until they were sure it was what they wanted, and now they are sure. When Ruth points out Stella is a lot older than Pip, Pip's reply is 'not that much older'. She doesn't get it: what's this about? Stella's age, or the fact that she might have had other relationships, or what? Ruth is not sure Stella is right for Pip. Pip has had enough. OK. No, no, fine. She's told Pip what she thinks, but you know what? She's a grown woman, and she doesn't need Ruth to approve and she doesn't need Ruth to worry about her; she's fine, or at least she was until Ruth did her best to ruin things by making her feel bad about something that she absolutely should not feel bad about. Ruth protests that she didn't mean to make her feel bad, but as Pip says, she has. Pip's going to go; she's got things to do.

Emma and Fallon are having an indignation meeting about the cheek of Tom and Natasha: that's them all over, entitled. Fallon knows it is wrong but also knows there is nothing she can do about it; Emma is more forthright. She also wants to know whether they bothered to mention if she'll still have a job in their fancy new caff. Fallon doesn't think they have thought that far; she honestly doesn't believe they give a damn about anyone but themselves. She doesn't think she could do it, hand it all over and then work for them: she couldn't stand it. Emma is clear that she shouldn't, and offers alternatives: get somewhere else, since her business isn't just the tea-room, it's the upcycling and the catering, and that would keep her going till she got sorted. Brokenly Fallon reminds her that she needs the kitchen for the catering, but Emma has an answer to that too: she could do that from home, as she did when she was starting out. Fallon reckons she's right; and anything's got to be better than working for the Archers. If Tom and Natasha thinks she is just gratefully going to accept their lousy manager's job, they can whistle.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 19th September, 2023

Emma has big ideas about her employment; Freddie is glad to take what he is offered.

Characters: Elizabeth, Freddie, Emma, George, Vince, Elizabeth
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Gwenda Hughes
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Freddie is job-hunting, with no success, when Elizabeth comes in cheerfully talking about what to make for dinner. When he tells her how low his ambition has sunk (debt-collection agent, lollipop person in Felpersham) she is horrified but apart from helping him look has no constructive advice to offer. Perhaps he needs to target his efforts more, apply for things that are a bit more, well, him, she suggests, but when he asks 'like?' she doesn't know. After flailing a little she comes up with something public-facing, like managing a restaurant or a bar; he is more aware than she seems to be that someone completely unqualified is not going to walk into a management position. His CV is against him: he has worked in his family home, then a place that burnt down, and that's it. She reminds him that Grey Gables are going to be looking for staff, but he can't face going back after being blown up there, and after a moment she realises just how tactless that was. She then offers to give him a job at Lower Loxley and be his employer; he is not interested. But he just needs a job, he moans. Any job at all. She offers to jazz up his CV for him and make it more appealing, and tells him to go and put the kettle on while she does so.

After she finishes work at the tea-room, George turns up to walk home with his mother; she asks pointedly whether he has done any work in the dairy, and when he tells her he and Helen are fine and it's all forgotten, says, 'Forgotten. Really,' in a disbelieving voice. Apparently Tom still has a problem with him but the others are OK, and Tom hasn't said anything. She thinks it's nice of George to wait and walk back with her, and queries whether he's after something; he says that a little bird might have told him they are having cottage pie for tea, and when she names the little bird as Keira he says it was a little bird called Ed, actually, who said it would be fine for him to eat with them so long as he clears it with Clarrie. Emma is pleased and suggests stopping on the way home to get something nice for afters. She is not so pleased to be told that he hasn't yet started packing to move to 1, The Green, but he blarneys his way out of that by claiming pressure of work and a lot of reading to do for his course. She tells him he isn't to leave it all to Will, who has enough on his plate with packing for Poppy. [This is ridiculous! They are moving about six hundred yards, and don't have to take everything at once. Chris.] When he asks about Emma's day she is grateful to be asked but tells him it wasn't up to much: she explains about the Archers deciding they want the tea-room back, because they own the building. They want to kick Fallon out and play cafés in their very own tea-room, except knowing them it won't be a tea-room at all but an artisan coffee house. George realises that was why they were arguing about wallpaper today. Natasha had a load of samples and was asking Tom which ones made him feel the most hungry. Emma realises that they are just playing at it, and adds that they had the cheek to ask Fallon to manage it for them, which to Emma's horror George reckons makes sense. When she says that Fallon is going to tell them to take a running jump, he points out that won't hurt Natasha and Tom; Emma proceeds to tell him all the things she doesn't think Natasha and Tom would know about but she does, until he breaks in to say they aren't going to run it themselves, are they: if Fallon turns them down they'll just hire someone else. The wind taken out of her sails, Emma supposes they will, and is worried lest a new manager brings in their own staff and she is out of a job as well. Unless she applies for the manager's job, suggests George: she could run that place standing on her head, and he bets the salary is more than she's on now. Although she is sure it's not that simple, he reckons she should go for it.

The idea of Freddie as a lollipop man makes Vince chuckle, but Elizabeth isn't really amused: Freddie is pretty desperate. Even though, as Vince says, she isn't going to chuck him out on the streets, he wants to prove himself and pay his way, and she's worried about him because he's been really low since he got back. Vince opines that Freddie is just at a loose end and will bounce back, but Elizabeth is sure that it's more than that: he feels unwanted and useless. Vince agrees that it's a tough time to be job-hunting, and Elizabeth mentions that Freddie's CV isn't great: in fact it's all over the place, from managing the Orangery to DJing at weddings, with no obvious purpose running through it. Vince wonders: what if Freddie came to work for him? He's always looking for trainee managers he can train up from scratch and get doing things their way from the off. Last time Vince asked him he wasn't keen, but... Elizabeth breaks in to say she thinks he'd feel differently now. Still, when Vince volunteers to ask him she's not sure whether Freddie would like the idea: it's not very Freddie. Vince is convinced that what Freddie needs is to get up in the morning and go to work, any work, to feel like he has purpose, and Vince can give him that. Elizabeth mocks him because Freddie turned him down before; Vince says he doesn't give many people second chances, but he likes Freddie and reckons he deserves a break.

George is continuing to persuade Emma she should apply for a job as the manager of the tea-room; Fallon doesn't want to do it so she won't be betraying Fallon, and it's different for Emma because it's not her business: what's the difference for her between working for Fallon and working for the Archers? Only this way, she'd be manager: doesn't she fancy being the boss? She argues that she wouldn't be the boss, because Tom and Natasha would be constantly breathing down her neck; George reckons that once it's up and running they'd leave her to it. They wouldn't have time to micro-manage; for them, it's all about building the empire. Emma is starting to be tempted: there are some things she'd do differently, and some she has changed while she was running the place and Fallon hasn't even noticed. George thinks she'd be brilliant, and he bets Natasha and Tom would agree: why doesn't she talk to them? When he urges her to do it tomorrow morning, she demurs that it's too soon and at the moment they just see her as a waitress; to prove that she can do this she needs to re-jig her CV. She'll do that after tea, then email it to Natasha and ask for a meeting. She decides she is going to go for it.

The offer has been made to Freddie, who is delighted; Vince explains the job, and Freddie thanks him fulsomely, though when Vince reminds him it is an abattoir he replies 'well, duh' and has to be called to order in a minatory way by mumsie. He quickly explains that he just meant he's not that thick; Vince retorts that of course he isn't, Vince wouldn't be offering him a job if he was, but glamorous it ain't. Freddie is fine with that: glamour is over-rated; Vince proceeds to tell him what the job involves in the way of having to get to grips with every aspect of the business and learn properly about what they do and how it works. Freddie remains enthusiastic in spite of Elizabeth wanting to know that he is sure and that he knows it isn't for everybody. Vince tells him she's right and it's not an easy place to work, and , and it's hard graft, but Freddie is ready for that. He thanks Vince sincerely, and Vince offers to take him to work with him and show him round, then they'll take it from there. He thanks Vince again, and says he doesn't have to do it just because he is mum's boyfriend; Elizabeth disclaims – it's nothing to do with her – and Vince assures him it was Vince's own idea; he has a hunch Freddie will be a good little worker. So don't muck it up. Freddie says he won't and thanks him again.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 20th September, 2023

Ruth and Harrison both want to call back rash words.

Characters: Josh, Pip, Harrison, Fallon, Ruth, David
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Gwenda Hughes
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Because he is busy sweeping the yard, Josh asks Pip to bring him out a cup of tea when she is going inside anyway, but gets an ungracious refusal: she will be too busy getting Rosie off to school. She then stays to chat about Josh looking energetic, and about his having sorted out the band for the harvest supper; she didn't stay long enough to see Straw Crows on his birthday but seems happy to discuss them. They have been on 6 Music and are doing the harvest supper as a favour to Josh because they're mates. Josh has been texting their violinist, Nina, and she has put him in touch with their management, and it's all booked. He's very pleased with himself, and has delegated sorting out the detail to Paul, who loves organising of that sort. With luck it will distract him from drawing up a bin rota. It's going very well at The Stables, though, in spite of Paul being able to be a bit uptight about bins, pants and socks left on the floor, that kind of thing. It's cool and they're having fun. Pip wonders whether Paul and Lily think that picking up his dirty laundry is fun, though Josh protests they don't have to do that; he then asks her where she's been, anyway: he hasn't seen her around all week and she missed Dad's birthday tea. Mum said Rosie was under the weather but she seemed fine when Josh saw her. So what's up? Has Pip fallen out with Mum and Dad? Pip claims that they haven't fallen out but have had words; they found out she's seeing someone and they're not happy about it. Josh thinks it is cool when told the person she's seeing is Stella; Pip tells him it's very early days and she didn't want it to get out so soon, but it has. She wouldn't be telling him at all only Mum and Dad found out and they're being weird about it: she wishes someone would tell them that it's not a big deal.

Fallon is late leaving the house because Emma is opening up for her, and Harrison asks whether her having lots of ideas she is making notes about means she has made up her mind to turn Tom and Natasha down. Having looked at figures and worked out how much of her head-space has been occupied with the day to day running of the tea-room, she is fairly sure she has: the upcycling and catering won't make enough to start with, but if she doesn't have the tea-room she can put all her energy into those, get a marketing campaign together, and it could really take off. His agreement is dour enough for her to notice and ask what's up: doesn't he think she can do it? He's sure that if anyone can do it she can, but when she questions him further he tells her he is worried about money.

Ruth is whinging to David about Pip assuming they would welcome Stella with open arms; David mildly remarks that he did wonder whether it was the right thing, going in with all guns blazing. Ruth indignantly denies that was what she did, though she admits that they have established she handled it badly. She wants to know what David would have said: his tactic is to pretend it's not happening. He fervently agrees, adding that it seems to be working rather well for him. Ruth complains he means he's left it all to her and let her bear the brunt of Pip's reaction [which, since Pip's reaction is to her and didn't exist before her interfering nastiness, is reasonable of him. Chris] and David mentions that when they thought it was Lottie it all made sense: he was surprised, but, well... But Stella... Is it the age thing? Maybe it's the age thing. Ruth wonders if he would feel as uncomfortable if she were going out with an older man, and he thinks he would, although it would depend who it was. Pip doesn't seem to think it's an age issue, Ruth says glumly [perhaps because to her is isn't. Gus] and David wonders whether that is because something's been going on with Stella without them realising; how long does Ruth think it's been going on? Ruth didn't get that far before things escalated, and David feels she should ask, to which she retorts that maybe he should. He isn't going to in case he manages to annoy Pip even more. Crossly Ruth realises that he'll leave that to her. [Well, she's so good at it... Chris and Gus.] She then claims she could really do without the drama; David concurs and adds that he doesn't care who Pip goes out with: he'd just like a quiet life. Ruth disputes that and is sure he does care, and he agrees that this thing with Stella just seems so complicated. They stop talking as Pip comes into the sheep-enclosure and David mutters 'just act normal' to Ruth, who replies that she thinks that ship's sailed. Pip has come to see if they need a hand re-scoring the sheep, but is told that they did them yesterday; David suggests he and Ruth have just been debating whether or not they've earned a break. Pip is about to check on the rams, but David meant all of them, and when she says she has only just got there Ruth tells her she can't go on avoiding them, and when Pip snarkily enquires 'Can't I?' Ruth apologises about Monday and tells her that she was just telling David what a pig's ear she made of it: can they make up? Pip doesn't know: is Ruth going to give her another lecture about who she can and can't see? Ruth denies it was a lecture, and when Pip starts 'well, whatever it was' hopes they could forget it ever happened and start again. David cajoles Pip with the offer of a cup of tea; he might even throw in a couple of crumpets.

Harrison has sought out Fallon at the tea-room and although she tells him she hasn't got a minute, he doesn't want to leave things like they did. She's sorry, but she's busy. He's really sorry about earlier, and he honestly does believe in her, he's just bothered about the money. If they lose the money from the tea-room he doesn't know if they'll be able to cover the bills. With him going part time they've already taken a hit. She tells him that's the point: when he decided to go part time she supported him, and all she's asking is that he do the same. He wishes he'd handled it differently, but the fact is they are already managing with less, so he doesn't know if they can afford to lose any more. Fallon realises he's saying she should just take the Archers' job even though it will make her miserable. He's not saying that and of course he doesn't want her to be miserable, but he thinks they need to talk it through; it's a great idea but in the short term he's not sure the upcycling and catering will be enough. Fallon tells him she had better get back to work.

Pip is acknowledging that it's awkward, because Ruth and Stella are friends and because her parents didn't expect it and because they're worried that she's lost her mind. Well, she hasn't lost her mind and she wasn't expecting it either but she's happy it has. David is able to say 'good'; Ruth thinks it's nice to see Pip with a spring in her step, and excuses herself with a bunch of explanation about it having been a shock and happened so fast and the age difference and her having though Stella was involved with someone else, to which Pip responds that she knows, and knows they're worried about her. David presciently realises that she would like them to stop worrying about her, or at least stop telling her about it; Pip breathes that if they would, that would be great. Ruth isn't making any promises, but they'll try. David then suggests they invite Stella and over to supper on Friday: he'll cook steak, since it's his birthday week. Pip isn't keen because Jill will be there: she's not sure she'd ready for that. She knows she'll have to tell Gran but she doesn't think she's ready for a full-on family dinner yet. As she is saying this Josh wanders in and observes that they've all made friends: does this mean Mum's stopped being homophobic? Pip tells him to shut up, Ruth denies the slur, Josh claims he was only joking and David asks whether if he has time to think up daft jokes they can assume that the arrangements for the harvest supper are all in hand? Josh smugly tells him they are, which David doubts. Josh asks whether he trusts him or not, and David replies, 'yes, but.' Ruth suggests going to The Bull instead, and when Josh is surprised into asking 'instead of the harvest supper?' merely swats him with the words, 'not you'; Pip isn't sure, but Ruth is suggesting just a drink, not dinner. Pip supposes that could work, if they promise not to say or do anything embarrassing; Ruth wants to know what they could do or say that was embarrassing and when Josh asks if they want him to answer that, David utters a forbidding 'no'. David promises Pip they won't, and adds that it will be nice.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 21st September, 2023

Freddie tastes success, and Fallon faces up to failure.

Characters: Jolene, Vince, Freddie, Fallon, Harrison
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Gwenda Hughes
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Encountering Vince on the green, Jolene shares his amusement at the story of David and the bull as recounted by Susan, then tells him that Sunday was not a good day for her: she lost out to Joy in the dessert category, and then Derek Fletcher pipped her to the post in the buttonholes. Vince says he won't pretend to understand what she just said, and Jolene, noticing Freddie in Vince's car, greets him as darlin' and realises this is the day he is going to start at Vince's abattoir. Jolene doesn't fancy that job herself, and reckons Freddie is quite a sensitive type; she asks Vince to go easy on him, but Vince isn't able to pussyfoot around: Freddie has to learn the job, the job is slaughtering animals and meat processing, and if Freddie can't handle that there isn't a lot Vince can do about it. Jolene wishes Freddie good luck, and Vince slams the car door as he gets in. Freddie congratulates him on his choice of biscuits: hobnobs and custard creams; Vince warns him the biscuits are by way of a sweetener and he might find the day hard going. Freddie says he's not scared of hard work, but Vince will be showing him round every bit of the abattoir: the lairage,the cutting room, the blood pit, the lot. Freddie jokes that the blood pit might be what they call the staff room, but Vince puts him right: it's where the animals bleed out after slaughter; Freddie realises that today he might actually see the animals, um, you know... Vince helps him out with the word 'slaughtered', and asks whether he didn't make that clear. Freddie's 'no' is decidedly edgy; does he really need to see that bit? He's not going to be doing the slaughtering himself. No, Vince agrees, but he still needs to see it, every bit, so he'll understand how the whole operation works. He can't work in an abattoir if he doesn't truly understand the process the animals go through. Freddie tries for another joke: it sounds like some sort of gangland initiation; Vince puts him right again, telling him it isn't to frighten or test him, it's simply necessary. If he is to train Freddie up as a manager he needs Freddie to have a fundamental understanding of what they do. Freddie gets it. Vince is glad of that, because if he is to be part of the team who appreciate and respect each others' expertise, he'll not be locked away in an office: he'll be part of it.

At The Bull Jolene is feeding Fallon her profiteroles from Sunday, which she says were lighter before they were frozen, and plans to take some to the harvest supper a week Saturday rather than waste all the effort she put into perfecting her technique. She asks if Fallon plans to go; Fallon could do with a good night out and it might cheer her up. Fallon doubts it, and Jolene at once assumes this is because she and Harrison are not talking, but it is more that Fallon expected him to have her back as she did for him, and he isn't showing signs of doing the same. Jolene tells her emphatically that is because he's worried about money, and he's got a point. She understands why Fallon doesn't want to take their job, but what if the upcycling doesn't make enough money? Fallon protests that it's not just the upcycling, it's the catering as well, but Jolene isn't convinced: has she done the maths? Do the figures stack up? Could they survive on what she stands to make? Fallon admits they couldn't yet, but that's why she's making a business plan and not just winging it. It could be really exciting, and she thought Harrison would see that instead of fretting about the mortgage; Jolene is of the opinion that whether or not you can pay the mortgage is crucial. She advises gritting her teeth and accepting the job from Tom and Natasha, to tide her over and give her a bit of stability while she gets the business up and running. Fallon, horrified, isn't sure she could stand working in the tea-room and it not being hers any more: she keeps remembering the first day there, and wondering whether she'd made a huge mistake and nobody would come in. She hadn't made a mistake, urges Jolene, and she can be proud of what she did: nobody can take that away from her. But that's literally what Tom and Natasha are doing, exclaims Fallon: taking it away from her! Knowing her, Jolene is sure she'll bounce right back; in the meantime, having a steady wage coming in might not be a bad idea.

After the tour with Vince, Freddie is impressed. He'd had no idea the place would be so big and clean, nor employ so many people. Forty-five on this site alone, brags Vince, and he knows each and every one of them by name. Good workers, and his butchers are the best in the business: artists, they are, and Freddie should take the opportunity to watch them at work: Freddie did, and was impressed by their speed and focus, like ninjas. Rather to his surprise, he was not too badly upset by the slaughter room: he didn't actually enjoy seeing animals get stunned and have their throats cut, but he does understand it has to happen. Without them, farmers wouldn't exist, postulates Vince; Freddie enthusiastically agrees but is glad he'd seen everything else before that: how strict they are with animal welfare and how they are treated when they arrive; he just thinks that if you're going to eat meat then you understand that animals have to be killed, and if you understand that then surely you want them killed somewhere that takes it as seriously as this place does. Vince couldn't have put it better himself, and thinks Freddie has earned a custard cream.

As Fallon is working on her figures again Harrison gets home, and asks if everything is all right; initially she says 'yup' before admitting that no, it's not really. He was right, she says gloomily. She's worked it all out, what she stands to make on the catering, and whichever way she cuts it the numbers don't add up. Realistically she would need one big catering booking a week to be sure she'd bring in enough money and there's just no way she can guarantee that. And she'd need a load of supplies: tablecloths, cutlery, glasses; she can't afford to lay out that kind of money. He asks about the upcycling; she regards that as a nice side-line but never a big money-spinner: it takes time. He feels that in the long term catering could work; she agrees, possibly, but in the meantime she'd be a fool to turn down the steady income Tom and Natasha are offering. She has no choice; she'll have to accept this job whether she likes it or not.

Back at The Bull, Vince and Freddie are having a drink while they wait for Elizabeth to join them; Jolene is delighted to hear that Freddie has done well. Vince congratulates Freddie: he was really impressed by the way he paid attention, asked questions, took it all in; Freddie dryly suggests he did better than Vince expected, and Vince evades this by saying he didn't know what to expect, but to be fair, the abattoir is a particular type of place. Freddie is sure Vince thought Freddie would be a baby about it and go weak at the sight of blood and run out of there wailing and screaming; Vince tells him he wouldn't have been the first. That's why he always starts with a tour, to see if people have got the stomach for it and aren't going to be fainting on the job: he's made that mistake before and taken someone on only to find out a week in that they can't hack it. Freddie reassures him he doesn't need to worry about that with Freddie; Vince reminds him it's only day one, and there's a long road and a lot of hard work ahead of him if he wants to end up a manager. Good, says Freddie; bring it on! Vince laughs at him, but kindly.

Having got what he wanted, Harrison now says he doesn't want Fallon to take the poxy job; when she points out that if she doesn't they'll struggle to pay the bills, he suggests he could go back to working full-time: she supported him and now he can support her. [Has Jolene been talking to him, or is he sure he's safe to offer because Fallon won't accept? Chris.] She protests that he can't, he'd hate it and they might not let him anyway, and anyway even if he did it wouldn't be enough. He then suggests him getting a part time job pulling pints; the point is, she should tell Natasha and Tom were to stick their job. They'll get by, one way or another: it might be a struggle while she's starting out on the catering but he has no doubt she'll make a success of it. She's brilliant and he believes in her, and he's sorry he hasn't always made that clear: she can do anything she puts her mind to. She thanks him, but while she knows working for Natasha and Tom is going to be hard and she can't pretend she'll enjoy watching them wallpaper and paint over everything that makes the tea-room what it is, but actually it has its advantages. She won't have to worry about competition from the charging station because it won't be her problem [until the tea-room goes bust. Gus], she'll just turn up, do her job and clock off; and Natasha said something about bonuses, so she's going to see if she can negotiate a profit-based bonus so she'll still benefit if they do well. More importantly, it will give her some breathing space and security to work out what she wants to do next, and some free time even. Just think, they could actually spend some time together without her moaning on about the charging station and the tea-room! She's decided: she's taking this job, it's the right thing to do.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 22nd September, 2023

In which everyone is really rather awkward.

Characters: Natasha, Emma, Pip, Stella, Fallon, David, Ruth
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Gwenda Hughes
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Natasha has come into the tea-room for a ham-and-mustard ciabatta to go, and Emma asks her how Helen is, explaining that she still feels awful about what George did; Natasha tells her it's forgotten. Helen is better than 'fine'; she's had some good news, that the courts have thrown out Rob's application for contact. Emma is delighted for her. Natasha is then mildly annoyed: she meant to bring her tape-measure to measure up the back wall for some booths; Emma takes the opportunity for a bit of brown-nosing about the new chapter for the tea-room being really exciting; did Natasha get her email? No, she didn't; this keeps happening, there most be something up with the server. What was it about? Emma wonders if she'd have time for a meeting about some proposals she wanted to run past them, but Natasha can't stop now: she's meeting Fallon in The Bull later to go over some tea-room stuff so why doesn't Emma come along? They should be finished by half-six.

Worry about the meeting with David and Ruth at six o'clock in The Bull has Pip and Stella on the phone to each other. Stella claims not to be dreading it, and that she likes Pip's mum and dad, though Pip thinks it's far too soon to meet the parents; especially, as Stella remarks, since she has already met them. Stella is sure it will be fine: after all, she's been for a drink with Ruth loads of times. And she wants Pip to join in with her pretending that this situation is perfectly fine, and normal, and everything's going to be all right. Pip concurs: it's just a drink, what can possibly go wrong?

Natasha greets Fallon's capitulation as 'fantastic news' and at once starts to tell her about the changes they plan to make to Fallon's business, pausing briefly to tell her that of course what she did is great but clearly implying that all their plans are much better. They will go upmarket and make it a special occasion destination: afternoon teas, celebrations, weddings even [all the things Fallon had thought of and would have discussed with them if they had been prepared to talk to her. Chris]; with that in mind, they won't be able to accommodate Fallon's upcycling bits and pieces. Fallon reassures her she has other plans for her upcycling business; Natasha sweeps on. Another big change is they are going completely organic; they should have insisted on it before. Fallon gently points out that when it was someone else's business they couldn't have done that, which disconcerts Natasha for a moment before she says that now it's theirs that's something they really want to implement. Fallon maintains her enthusiastic front but intimates that it will be hard to keep their costs down: getting organic ingredients in bulk isn't going to be easy. Natasha knows there will be teething problems but thinks in the long run it will be worth it. Fallon is to trust her: they know what they're doing, and she really thinks this is going to be a huge success. Now, she took the liberty of bringing a contract for Fallon to look over, which hopefully is all straightforward: salary, holiday entitlement, notice period, yada yada, all fairly standard. Fallon takes the opportunity to mention that before she signs anything she wants to discuss some of the terms: she'll just get her notes out. First off, Natasha had mentioned bonuses; she's drawn up a suggested structure. Natasha was clearly not expecting this.

The meet-the-parents event is being if possible even more awkward than the meeting between Fallon and Natasha; David does his best to make conversation with Stella about her family and gets mostly monosyllables in return. Pip interrupts to call him to order for being weird, wanting him just to chat about farming as usual; he asks if Stella would prefer it and she says that would be great and at once starts to talk about them starting drilling next week, but just as they're about to relax a bit Ruth comes back with information about Kenton having an offer on wine, buy two glasses and get the rest of the bottle free, so since they're all drinking red she thought they might as well, and a pint for David. Lynda has been telling her about the black tie ball she is organising for the opening of Grey Gables: do Pip and Stella think they'll go? No, they don't think so: Stella adds they're not really her thing, which gives David and Ruth the chance to agree. Ruth's next conversational gambit is to ask about Rosie's week at school, which occupies them for a couple of sentences before silence falls again, broken by Stella eagerly offering to get them crisps, which she duly goes to do. Pip then castigates both her parents for acting so weird: it's Stella, they've chatted to her a thousand time, just act normal.

Natasha will now have to discuss Fallon's proposed bonus structure with the rest of the family: she thinks they'd expected the bonus scheme to be a bit more casual [ie a bonus only at her whim. Chris]; Fallon mildly suggests that linking bonuses to profit is a fairly usual arrangement. Natasha asks whether there was anything else, and Fallon utters the word 'Emma': she wants to be sure they keep Emma on, on the same terms and salary as her current contract. Natasha readily agrees: they need some staff, and employing Emma would make sense. Fallon thinks that's all, and at just that moment Emma comes in, so Natasha says she has some good news she has for her : she wants to offer her a job. Emma is delighted and thanks her repeatedly before it is borne in on her that this is not the job as manager, merely the job she already has. Fallon murmurs that she decided to accept the job, and she'll explain later. Natasha offers to get Emma a drink so they can have that chat, but Emma can't stay: another time. She flees.

Pip has come to give Stella a hand with the four bags of crisps, and they take the opportunity to bewail the awkwardness of the occasion. Stella worries that Ruth can barely look at her: she's been Stella's closest friend since she arrived in Ambridge and now... The penny drops, and Pip realises that she has stolen Ruth's best mate.

Emma is having an outbreak of disappointed tears when Fallon catches up with her and asks what the matter is. Emma obviously can't tell her that she tried to take her job, thought she had succeeded and was then disappointed at the last moment, and Fallon accidentally rubs salt in her wound by being sympathetic: Emma doesn't need to worry, she's made it clear that she's only accepting the manager's job on the condition that they offer Emma a job too. Emma manages to make the right noises, and Fallon says she knows it's going to be pretty painful watching Tom and Natasha dismantle everything they've built, but at least they'll still be working together, and Emma won't be out of pocket. Emma thanks her. Fallon asks her to try not to worry: bar some expensively upholstered booths and a terrible playlist nothing should really change, for her at least.

As Ruth flushes the lavatory and comes out of a cubicle she finds Stella waiting for her. Stella just wanted to talk to Ruth, and followed her to the ladies' toilet because it's the only way to manage it: Ruth hasn't looked at her once since they arrived. She smooths Ruth's ruffled feathers by telling her that she wanted her to know she is serious about Pip: she really likes her, and she's not going to mess her about. She knows Ruth was worried about whether Stella was still in touch with the woman she met at her sister Nuala's [? Chris] wedding, and she isn't. She isn't texting anyone. Ruth says it isn't any of that: it's just weird. She's struggling with how to be: everything's changed suddenly and it's taking her a while to catch up. Stella understands: when she and Pip first got together she wanted to ring Ruth and tell her about it and she couldn't; it was weird. Ruth agrees that if Pip had been in a new relationship with someone else she'd have been on the phone to talk about it with Stella and she can't do that. Stella agrees that she can't, but they can still talk: just not about Pip, and she isn't the only topic of conversation. Ruth is still unsure, because she isn't Stella's mate any more, more like her mother-in-law, but Stella feels they can be friends too. She didn't want to lose Ruth as a friend; Ruth didn't want to lose her either. Stella thinks they are over-thinking this: it might be weird, for a while, but they'll get there; they just need to set up some boundaries. Give it a few weeks and it'll be fine. Ruth gulps rather and agrees.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 24th September, 2023

Susan doesn't want a fuss, Pip digs herself a hole to make one in.

Characters: Stella, Pip, Toby, Emma, Jazzer, Neil
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

A wasp has got Stella worried, and she keeps trying to swat it. Pip makes fun of her, then ushers it out of the back door, which impresses Stella. They laugh together, before Stella comments on the high standard of Pip's cleaning before Toby is to visit; Pip denies she cleans specially for him and accuses her of jealousy, then claims she is just keeping herself busy while she works out how to tell him about Stella: she doesn't want a repeat of Friday's awkward occasion with Mum and Dad. Stella reassures her that it will be OK, and offers to help, but Pip doesn't want her to. And then she's got to tell Gran, and Rosie; maybe she should just get a loudspeaker system set up. Stella reiterates that it will be OK in the end, and adds that if Pip needs her she will be in the kitchen making brunch; Pip thinks it's something she'll be better off doing on her own, and Stella offers to go away altogether, but Pip doesn't want that either. There is a knock at the door and Pip goes to answer it, leaving Stella in the kitchen. Stella calls after her to try and tell him quickly so they can eat.

When Pip opens the door and greets him he asks at once where Rosie is, and Pip tells him she has stayed overnight with Mum and Dad [in what bedroom? They all have people sleeping in them already except Josh's old room aka the B&B room; does Rosie use that? Chris] so he will have to 'grab her from the farm', as he puts it. He congratulates her on her child-free evening and she tells him Stella came over, then as he starts to speculate about how they probably spent their time lusting over Josh Hartnett corrects him by saying 'not quite', then wonders whether before he goes to get Rosie she could have a word.

The idea that a random woman in the shop may have saved Jim's life is impressive to Emma; Jazzer explains that she was in fact the new locum and has referred Jim on, so it should be sorted soon enough. When Neil arrives and is greeted he makes the now-obligatory reference to Susan reading Lark Rise to Candleford and finding it engrossing [yes, we have got it: there is a new version on Radio 4 with some Archers characters involved. Give it a rest, scripties. Chris]. Emma laughs at him and at Jazzer, who is also fed up with the whole obsession, and says it's only a book, not as if their wives are having affairs. She suggests that Neil should read it: don't knock it till you've tried it. She is being pleased with herself about having started her literature course, and though Neil is bored with the subject he's glad to see her smiling. He hopes everything is all right over at the tea-room, and she informs him that she has stopped thinking about that: it's not the first time she's been passed over for a better position [or to put it another way, tried to take someone else's job and failed. Chris] and she bets it won't be the last. She had better get back to work, and she suggests the two of them don't moan for a day, it being Sunday.

Pip's revelation is not what Toby was expecting her to say, and he asks how long her and Stella has been going on. Pip says it's quite new but they are trying to make a go of it so she wanted Toby to know. It occurs to him that when she and he slept together she and Stella were... Pip hastily denies it and says they'd had a moment but there wasn't anything yet. At this point Stella drops a pan in the kitchen and Toby is made aware that she is there, whereupon he asks if she stays over often and then announces abruptly that he's got to go: he has to get Rosie, since it is nearly time to take her to a birthday party, but as an afterthought he enquires whether he is the last to know, with her and Stella and Rosie hanging out like happy families, and again Pip denies it: like she said, it's all quite new. He says he will see her later and goes, asking her to say 'bye' to Stella for him. Stella immediately emerges from the kitchen saying that was quick. Pip says he seemed a little shocked, and Stella suggests that might be down to the fact that she slept with him so recently. Pip realises she heard, and Stella tells her it's a bit weird; defensively, Pip points out that she and Stella were not even together together when that happened, and she made it clear to Toby afterwards that it didn't mean anything. Good, says Stella, who has 'just remembered' that she has a couple of work calls she has to make, and when Pip wants to talk about things over brunch tells Pip there is no need: no, they can't take a minute right now, sorry. She just worries that Pip is not ready for this; Pip protests that she is, and Stella asks 'Are you?' She had an ex she really got along with until she went back to her fiancé. Pip denies the comparison, but Stella is not convinced; Pip then makes matters worse first by saying that Toby is Rosie's father, and then that he's a safe space for Pip; he will always be part of her life because he is a part of Rosie's. Stella says she will see Pip later.

While taking his money (£5.75 for a pint and a bag of cheese and onion crisps) Emma asks Neil if he's had any thoughts about Mum's birthday; he not only hasn't, he knows that she actively doesn't want any fuss made over her birthday. Emma insists they can't let this one go without a big bash; Neil retorts sure, if they can convince Susan. Emma goes to serve others and Jazzer offers to give Neil a hand with whatever it is, and Neil explains that Susan doesn't want a fuss for her birthday and Emma is complaining about it. Jazzer remarks that it seems to be the day for moaning: Alistair has been complaining about having to give Jim lifts all the time now Jim has given away his car and not yet bought an electric one because he has a lot of research into them to do first; Alistair is at the end of his tether and feels he is being used as a taxi service, having to wait while Jim rehearses with Kiki for the harvest supper [David clearly not having bothered to tell Jim that Josh has arranged someone else for the entertainment at it, as he said he would and then said that he had. Chris], and then drive him back, practically every day. Neil wonders whether Jazzer and Tracy couldn't lend Jim the Riley, but Jim apparently says it's bad manners to use it when he has given it away.

True to his word Toby has come back, and he and Pip are sitting together talking; Rosie is asleep upstairs, worn out by the party. Pip is glad he took Rosie to the party; it meant she could get on with stuff after Stella walked out. She overheard them talking. Toby didn't mean to put his foot in it; Pip feels that he didn't, really. Maybe she ought to have told Stella she and Toby had slept together, but at that point she didn't know what was going on and thought Stella was still in touch with someone – oh, what's the point? Stella's upset now and Pip has no idea how to solve it. Toby wonders whether when they had sex, Pip was testing to see whether she still liked men. She doesn't know what it was and it's not like she planned it! It just happened, and then she knew right away that it wasn't – 'Good?' enquires Toby pointedly. She misses his tone of voice and keeps right on digging, then accuses him of trying to put words in her mouth before continuing to compare him unfavourably with Stella. He is not entirely flattering to her, as a result, and she stumbles through ever-less-convincing excuses for what even she seems to be noticing wasn't the best possible behaviour on her part. After going on at length about her feelings and motivations, she jumps on Toby saying 'So you took me out for a test-drive', and remarks that it is interesting how he manages to bring everything back round to him. He points out that she would think the same: if he had really rocked her boat that night [sic. Chris] she might never have gone back to Stella. She becomes shrill and indignant and denies it is about sex, claiming that it is about feeling right; he reminds her they have never talked about what would happen if one of them met someone, and how they would approach it with Rosie. [In other words he seems to be thinking a little about someone other than himself, unlike Pip. Chris.] Toby admits that he was made unhappy by the idea of Rosie, Pip and Stella brunching together, the perfect little unit, without him; he's a bit jealous, if he's honest. He wants her to be happy, but he feels a bit on the outside. Pip asserts that Stella knows he is part of this family and always will be. He feels a jerk for making it about him (and she tells him she knows he is the centre of his universe [miaow! Chris.]) but thanks her for thinking of him like that. He's glad it's Stella and not some bloke: Rosie won't question who her dad is. He feels that it is obvious how much Pip likes Stella, and draws her in for a hug [and oh how I wish that Stella, coming back to collect something she left behind when she walked out, had seen them through the window! Chris], telling her she's going to be fine: she's a go-getter, and she needs to be that with Stella. Pip is not sure: she's said all she can, she's told Stella how much she likes her, she's told her that she has no feelings whatever about Toby ('ouch,' mutters Toby), she means they're platonic... Toby offers to have a word with Stella, but Pip turns that idea down emphatically. He tells her that if she needs him she is just to shout, and she tells him that there's nothing more she can say to convince Stella she's serious. The ball is most definitely in Stella's court.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 25th September, 2023

Josh discovers there's very little point in leaving home, but Will feels it's important.

Characters: Paul, Josh, Lily, Clarrie, Eddie, Will, Pip, Stella
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

In his own defence against accusation from Paul, Josh points out that the reason he didn't tell David he had booked the Straw Crows was that he had already told David he was dealing with the entertainment, and David subsequently booking someone else without telling him was not Josh's fault: David should have told him as soon as he booked Jim. Paul says heavily that what's happened has happened and they are going to have to deal with it. They have both been booked, so they need to make space for both of them. Josh doesn't think so, but Paul can't see what else they can do: Jim has been working on this for over a week. When Josh says he can't believe Dad didn't trust him, Paul helpfully asks, 'Can you blame him?' in an accusing way, Lily breezes in just as Josh wants to know what that is supposed to mean, and Paul starts to work out ways to get both acts on: Jim and Kiki can be the warm-up act. Josh absolutely opposes the idea: they simply need to tell Jim they got their wires crossed and that they don't need him. Lily wonders what is being discussed and Paul inaccurately explains that Josh has double-booked Jim and some piano-teacher woman for Saturday; Josh breaks in to point out that David double booked, Josh just booked. Paul accuses him of not having communicated, and Lily, completely failing to understand the problem, suggests Jim and his friend playing for free as a solution. Josh is firm that Jim has got to go, and Paul is equally firm that this is not a small problem. Lily at once leaps on the bandwagon to agree with Paul – especially if Jim has been practising. [How would she know? She wasn't there when that was mentioned. Chris.] It's rude. Paul thanks her. Josh tries to explain his motive: improving the harvest supper. They have the Straw Crows; they can't follow them with Jim and wossername and a singalong! Paul says he thinks that sounds sweet, Josh firmly states that it's not happening, and Lily attacks him as well, on the grounds that he fancies the band's violinist. Josh allows himself to be sidetracked into informing her that just because the violinist is fit, that doesn't mean the band are any less good. He then goes off to have a shower, leaving Lily indignant because she meant to have one, and Paul shouting after him that he is to call Jim and let him down.

The mammoth baking-spree Clarrie has been doing all weekend is not for Eddie to touch: it is all for Will and George and Poppy to take with them for the freezer, when they move out this week. She is worried that Will is not packing; Eddie says, 'He takes after me,' and Clarrie objects that he's not as useless. Eddie was going to say 'low-maintenance'. Clarrie says they are flat out at the dairy with the Grey Gables orders so she can't take time off to help Will pack, and then becomes flustered; Eddie realises that this worrying is not about packing, and insists on her telling him what is really up. She is worried because her forty-year-old son is moving out to live without his parents looking after him, and afraid that Will might still be having a breakdown over his wife having died. Eddie points out that the breakdown was more than four years ago when everything was fresh and raw, and it's different now, But when Clarrie tremulously asks whether that means Eddie thinks Will is going to be OK, he can't answer.

Over at Rickyard Cottage Will is offering Pip quantities of nearly-new things of Poppy's for Rosie to have, if she would like them. As he is about to leave, Stella walks in and nearly starts to talk before Pip forestalls her by saying how kind it is of Will to have brought things for Rosie; Will then does leave, and Stella and Pip make small-talk.

Lily has dollied herself up ready for college, on which Paul congratulates her. She complains that Josh took his time in the bathroom and now she has to rush; the two disparage him in general. Paul, by contrast, has made Lily a cheese sarnie. Lily then complains that she is expected to do course-work for her course, and wants to do a print-out at the vet's before going in, to save her traipsing all the way to Mum's. Paul allows it, and asks how Elizabeth is; Lily doesn't seem particularly bothered, but mentions that Freddie's job at the abattoir is going 'surprisingly' well. Paul is surprised and wonders who would have thought it, and Josh, coming back in, wants to know 'thought what?' The other two ask how Jim took it, but to their indignation Josh has not yet called him; he has been landed by David with yet another job on the farm and is incredibly busy, and wondered whether one of them could drop by Jim's today... They both contemptuously refuse, so he says he will do it, when he has time.

In theory Clarrie is helping Eddie with the turkeys, but both are thinking about Nic's death and and Clarrie is worrying in case Will can't cope but doesn't tell anyone. This makes Eddie remember finding Will holding a gun and how awful it was for him the worst day of Eddie's life and Clarrie work herself up into a tearful state about the possibility that Will cannot be trusted on his own. Eddie comforts her with the idea that George is older now and he'll be there; for some reason this does not fill Clarrie with confidence. Eddie hugs her again, and they are interrupted by Will, who wants to know what it's all about. He tells them Pip took Poppy's stuff for Rosie and asked him to thank Clarrie for suggesting it. He then asks if everything is OK, because it looks as if she's been crying.

Rosie is ill in bed, and Pip galumphs downstairs from giving her some medicine; apparently there is a bug going round. She and Stella then do yet another re-run of the previous occasions on which Stella has walked out and then walked back again, each blaming herself. Apparently it has just clicked with Stella that a child and Toby is a lot to take on [and then there is Rosie as well. Chris]; Pip tries to pin her down, then asks if she still needs time to think, saying it's OK if she does.

Clarrie wants Will to know he's always got a place with them, and Will, who knows better than anyone what he's put them through, does a good job of reassuring Clarrie that she was brilliant looking after them all after Nic's death when Will was running on empty. He is so grateful for that. Eddie says there's no need for that, but Will is clear that there is: that is why he is ready now. He needs to make a home for himself and his kids, and he needs to find a way to help George before it's too late. Clarrie says he will, and says that he has to. But he wouldn't be moving out if he thought for one second that it was a bad idea or it scared him. He's ready, he affirms. Clarrie and Eddie agree, and Eddie adds that he doesn't know why they're talking as if he were moving a million miles away: they can be with him in a heart-beat, whatever he needs. Will knows that, and knows he will be needing them, what with work and the kids; so no more worrying, about him or the kids. And now he's going to go and get packing. When he is out of earshot Clarrie proudly says he is such a strong lad, and Eddie agrees with her. 'Takes after me, of course,' he adds, and he and Clarrie chorus 'low maintenance.' He's going to be all right.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 26th September, 2023

George says he's got the message; Jim shoots the messenger.

Characters: Jim, Josh, Eddie, George, Paul, Chelsea
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

An enthusiastic account by Jim of what he and Kiki are planning for the harvest supper is cut short by Josh managing to get it through to him that they have already booked the entertainment for Saturday: when Jim spoke with David, David was simply expressing an interest, not agreeing to anything. Josh explains that he is in charge of entertainment, and has booked a band. Rather than assuming that David has made a mistake, Jim demands when Josh booked the band and Josh tells him, adding that nobody told him Jim was planning to sing some stuff. Jim takes umbrage at the words 'some stuff', and is also not at all pleased to be told that Josh has decided to take things in a different direction this year and that Josh has a new artistic vision. He informs Josh that it isn't Glastonbury, it's a harvest supper in an old barn, and like an idiot Josh argues the point instead of just putting the blame for Jim's disappointment squarely on David having asked him to do something that would be unnecessary. Jim is now angry about being put in second place, and is even more so when told he and Kiki are not being moved: they are being asked not to play at all.

In the Bull, Eddie has bought a round for himself and George and is insulted that Kenton told George to enjoy this pint because it's probably the first and last he'll ever buy for him. Eddie has brought George to the pub in order to tell him not to be a stranger after he's moved out; Clarrie will miss having him around; George replies that he'll miss her dinners. [Except for all the ones she is putting into the freezer for them. Chris.] If George ever wants a quiet word, about anything at all, Eddie will take him to the pub for a chatter [sic], man to man. George is surprised that's it: he thought Eddie would give him a mouthful about looking out for Will, and Poppy, and that. Eddie asks if he even needs to ask that, and when George says 'no' in a very sulky voice simply says 'good' and tells him he'll be fine. George is surprised that Eddie believes that, because he heard Grandma crying the other day; she's been crying a lot, Poppy's said the same. Eddie explains that's because she'll miss them, but George has overheard her talking to Susan on the phone about Will and 'what happened before'. Eddie tries to minimise this as just being concern about Will living alone, but as George at once says, he won't be alone: George will be there. So Eddie, using his special 'wheedling' voice, tells him they all want to be sure Will doesn't feel isolated, that's all it is.

Arrangements for the disposal of donations for the food bank after the harvest supper are being finalised by Paul and Chelsea: she is to take them from the display in the barn to Oliver's car, and Paul is going to buy her a drink as a thank-you. He has plans to go for a singalonga Frozen with his friend Tazzie, who is obsessed and wears the full-on outfit and everything, and suggests Chelsea might like to come along for cocktails as another thank-you, but she had a different thank-you in mind. She wondered if he would let her have a go at his hair. He refuses, saying that the words 'have a go' and his hair do not sit well together. If she wants to try out a facial, or a pedi-mani volunteer, he's her man, but his hair is... she's dreaming. She capitulates, but says that when she's famous he'll regret saying no to her. They laugh together; she sighs, then asks whether he reckons Josh will be in the pub by now. Paul has been trying not to think about Josh and Jim all day, but if he's put it off again he'll... Chelsea says she will duff him up before Paul does, because Jim's a mate and should have been told the minute Josh knew he'd messed up [or rather, that David had. Chris.]

Jim's fury with Josh is continuing; he wants to know whether Josh set out to insult him, and has made Josh call Kiki to cancel them, which Josh felt was unnecessary. He says it was Josh's doing , and though Josh protests it was crossed wires he points out they were crossed and undetected by Josh. Now Kiki is in floods of tears. In vain Josh says that he didn't mean to hurt or offend her, but Jim wants to make sure Josh is utterly abject: Kiki was due to go away for the weekend with family and Jim asked her to cancel for the sake of the harvest supper. Then Josh practically waltzed in to Jim's house to tell him that not only are they surplus to requirements, they are also old and creaky. Josh protests that he said no such thing and he is only trying to make this thing a success for the farm; this isn't personal. Jim lays it on thick about harvest being about community and coming together through thick and thin, Josh finally snaps back it him: he knows what harvest it about, he's lived on a farm all his life. Jim immediately and insulting says that it is clear to him that Josh has no idea; whatever Saturday turns out like, good luck with it, he adds bitterly. He then tells Josh to get out, and turns down with contumely Josh's offer to buy him a drink at the pub. He will not make this easy for him. Josh made his mind up, added insult to injury, and is to leave. Now.

Having fallen in with Eddie at The Bull, Paul and Chelsea are now discussing [No! Surely not! Chris] Lark Rise to Candleford, with Chelsea drooling over it and explaining the bit about the slaughter of the pig and how deeply she was affected by it. To laughter, Eddie says he'd bet she doesn't mind bacon; she says that isn't fair. Paul remarks that there is no harm in being loving towards the animals; Chelsea objects, not when you know you're going to eat, but Eddie would say especially when you know you're going to eat it. There's no harm in stuffed animal toys and movies with talking animals, but people still need to know where the bacon comes from in a bacon buttie. Chelsea knows, she is just squeamish because of the way the kids in the book do everything for the pig, the whole family does, and then they [I don't think anyone has ever disputed that Flora Thompson was a woman and would better be called 'she'. Chris] describe every bit of how they... She pauses, and Paul supplies 'butcher it.' Eddie tells her that's how it was, but that was all a long time ago, and she should get herself down to Berrow and see how Jazzer and her uncle Neil deal with the animals and care for them even thought they know what's coming. She says it's too sad; Paul chimes in that it can be really sad at the vet's when animals are on their way out: Eddie's right, though, she should visit Berrow and see what it's like. She doesn't want to, but, when Paul laughs and says she's wimping out, she decides to ask Jazzer tonight. Eddie approves, then asks whose round it is: told that it's his, he goes up to the bar to get them the same again.

Josh now comes in groaning that he needs a drink; he has just come from Jim's and Jim took it badly. Chelsea saying 'Oh, poor Jim!' doesn't sit well with him; she ought to be saying poor Josh. Paul asks whether Jim did understand it was a mix-up, and Josh tells him that Jim wasn't listening, just worried about his pal Fifi ('Kiki', corrects Paul) and what she'd say. When he tells them Jim made her call him and cancel them over the phone, Chelsea starts laughing at him, but when he reports that she got emotional because she was meant to be going away and Jim convinced her to stay for the harvest supper, Paul does say 'ouch' with a certain amount of sympathy – though it's not clear whether that is for Josh or for Kiki. Chelsea then attacks him on the grounds that unlike Jim, he clearly doesn't care about his friends or the harvest or people coming together. He ripostes that he is doing it to give them the best entertainment they could hope for, but Paul ostentatiously tells her in an undervoice that Josh fancies the violinist. Josh decides to go for a drink and offers to get them something, but is told Eddie is already buying. In his absence Paul remarks that he envies the way Josh does this stuff without flinching; Chelsea tells him to save her seat, she's just going to check in on Jim.

Eddie asks George what he's having, then suggests they walk back together after this one. George asks whether Grandma was worrying about Will because George is moving in with him; he knows he hasn't been perfect recently. Eddie jokes that no Grundy has ever been perfect, but George is serious: he knows everyone has been mad at him, and they've had good reason: sometimes he just loses it, and he has trouble finding his way back, but he really wants this, moving in with Dad and Poppy, he's going to really try and pull his finger out. Eddie is glad to hear it: if he does his dad proud, the rest will be just fine.

As they walk away from The Bull Chelsea bemoans the fact that she really wanted to help but there was nothing she could do; Paul reassures her that she proved she was a good friend just by going to see Jim, and he's sure Jim will appreciate that once he's had a chance to cool down. They agree that Jim really being offended is understandable when he's busted a gut to arrange something only to be let down at the last minute. Apparently when Chelsea went in [presumably without Jim having to answer the door. Chris] Jim was sitting at the dining table reading [you guessed! Chris] Lark Rise to Candleford, of all things... Paul says the village has gone mad for that book, and Chelsea tells him that Jim was going on about how they got community right back in the day, which leads to Paul asking whether Jim does know it's fiction [it isn't. Chris] and Chelsea saying of course he does, he's a retired professor. She then has an idea: there is nothing stopping them from emulating the people Flora Thompson grew up with and getting together to read, not Dickens like them but [tah-DAH! Chris] Lark Rise to Candleford. They could meet on Friday; Paul asks where, and Chelsea at once replies 'at our house'. She'll make sure Jim shows up, and they'll just get everyone who's enjoying the book to come along and read out a bit they like.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 27th September, 2023

Susan resists change, while Will embraces it.

Characters: Emma, Susan, Mia, George, Will
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

As is quite usual, Emma is having a whinge; this one is about Fallon changing her mind regarding the tea-room takeover. Susan was surprised that Tom and Natasha planned to take it over themselves, but Emma has to admit it makes sense to keep it all in-house. In a thoroughly displeased way she also admits it will make little difference to her: she was working at the tea-room under Fallon, and she will be working at the tea-room under Fallon. Susan understands that this has put her out and tells her she'll get to where she wants to be soon enough; she needs to have faith in herself. They are at Little Grange and are, inevitably, packing for George, and planning whether to go to what Susan calls the 'readalongaLarkRise' organised by Chelsea, who is very keen to cheer Jim up after his wasted time and effort planning the entertainment at Brookfield [for David, as neither of them mentions. Chris]. Apparently he loves the book almost as much as Susan does.

As George packs at Grange Farm he lyingly tells Mia that Will asked him to come too when he decided to move to 1, The Green [see Tuesday 25th July, 2023. Chris]; she asks him how he feels about moving out, and they compare notes about how they have each felt during their moves from one household to another. Mia says that after feeling strange living with Andrew at first, she now feels she has got two homes, and that's nice.

Susan is still resisting any celebration of her sixtieth birthday, while Emma is equally determined that it is to be marked in some way. Susan doesn't want to content herself with a purple rinse and some soft food; she wants to do something spectacular, something that challenges her, only she doesn't know what. In the end she thinks of conquering her fear of riding; the lesson with Shula scared the living daylights out of her. After she then mentions tea at the Ritz, then wonders why she needs to stick to one; Emma says she could have sixty, but Susan thinks that a bit much. Maybe six? Emma approves. She then becomes sentimental over a pair of very dirty old trainers belonging to George. He's leaving her in small steps, and she knows she's messed up with him and she's not sure how to fix it; Susan tells her that when they're eighteen and over you just have to hope that all the good you've instilled in them will come out eventually. Emma hopes so, for Will's sake as much as anything; he really wants this to work out.

Will is teaching Mia how to reverse with a trailer; moving all their stuff will only take a couple of trips, maybe three, so he hasn't hired a removal van. Mia doesn't think much of George's packing, but Will asks her to cut him some slack: he is trying. And that way there will be less friction when she comes to stay. She is going to stay, isn't she? She can bring Brad too. Mia is delighted, especially when Will says they make a good duo. Mia says that before Will leaves has got him something: it's a silver photo frame. Will thinks she should have put a picture of her in it, but Mia tells him it's not for any of them: it's a project. He is to think of it as being for his next adventure. Wherever he may go, he is to take a pic and frame it in there. He deserves good things. Will gives her a hug.

Emma is booking the first of Susan's six for sixty activities; Susan thinks there's no rush, and Emma has a lot on at the minute, but Emma thinks there's no time like the present, and intends to ask at The Stables about a lesson. Susan clearly isn't looking forward to it, but rather than argue picks up a bundle of things destined for the charity shop ready to take them to the car. George, getting in most opportunely at that moment, asks jocularly if they are taking his stuff for charity. Susan tells him not to be soft and goes to the car; Emma tells him all his good stuff is still there, he can check. She reminds him that it is good manners to thank-you to Grandma and Grandpa for everything, and he says he has: he gave Grandma a massive hug, and Grandpa bought him a pint at The Bull last night. He came back to sort the last bits out, and Emma at once tells him not to worry. She hasn't managed to get time off tomorrow to help them settle into the house, though. He reckons they'll manage, but as far as Emma is concerned it's a big job and Will could do with a hand. He tells her not to worry: he'll look after Dad, and do all the things she said to, promise. She tells him she'll miss him, at which he jokes 'for about five minutes', but she is in earnest: she will, and he's not to be a stranger.

Slightly later, George has gone to find Will: he just wondered whether Will had space for his gaming chair in the trailer. After having been told Will has, and discussing the disposition of Lola the guinea-pig and her feed, he asks whether Will is regretting asking George to move in with him and Poppy [Will apparently having forgotten that he didn't do this. Chris]; Will tells him that sometimes we say things, and do things, that we regret, but the thing about family is, at the end of the day they stick together and get through it. George wants to know, in that case why is everyone so worried about Will? Will is surprised and asks who is worrying about him, and George tells him, Grandma and Grandpa, Nana and Mum: he thinks they're worried about Will having to live with him. Will thinks that's nonsense; George doesn't blame them. He wishes Will knew that he's really going to help out; Will does. And if George messes up, he goes on, Will just has to tell him. Once. And he'll sort himself out. Will tells him to stop, and suggests that everyone is probably worried because last time he was living alone, with the children, was just after Nic died; they were right to be worried, because he wasn't coping. Mia ended up looking after them more than he did, and even after Clarrie sorted the kids out [which she didn't: that was Nic's mum Beverley. Chris] he still wasn't coping. George says he's sorry, and Will tells him not to be. He thinks that the way Nic died was so sudden and shocking it just destroyed him: he got to the point at which he didn't want to live any more. He loved her so much, and she was gone just like that. George makes a protesting exclamation, which Will ignores to continue his thought. That's why they're worrying; but they got him through it. George offers and apology for what he said about Nic, but Will just reiterates that we say things when we're angry and he doesn't want to hang on to that and neither should George. George needs a change; Will really hopes it is good for him and all of them.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 28th September, 2023

A cure for Chelsea's pig-ignorance, and a totally predictable 'twist'.

Characters: Jazzer, Neil, Stella, Pip, Chelsea
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The pigs are being awkward just before Chelsea arrives for her visit to Berrow; Neil suggests she ought to see pigs being slaughtered, but Jazzer thinks otherwise: she can barely deal with that in the book which Neil very properly calls 'Lark Rise to Wossit'. Neil is surprised Chelsea doesn't seem to know about meat production, and Jazzer tells him she has been on at him about working in Berrow when he knows what's going to happen to the pigs. He's not all that pleased that Eddie suggested she should come and see the rearing stage and then go to an abattoir to see the whole process from birth to death. Jazzer saw Will unloading his van at 1, The Green, and Hannah is now on Jodie's couch, which concerns Neil; she needs to find something better than that or she might have to stop working at Berrow, and they would really miss her. Jazzer had thought about Jim and Alistair, but doesn't feel she'd be a good fit there. Berrow can't afford to lose her, according to Neil: it was tough enough when Jazzer was on his honeymoon and they'd had to let George go. They go inside ready to greet Chelsea; Neil hopes she's ready for the bio-security measures.

Stella is showing off her new toy, the drill, to Pip and Pip is having a gloat about Brian having been forced to buy it; this in spite of the 'heartache' it caused Stella. Stella has packed a picnic for them to have before they head back [does either of these two wasters actually do the job she is paid for? Chris].

The Berrow overalls are clean every day, Jazzer assures Chelsea: that is part of the biosecurity; she thinks she looks like a right lemon in the massive boots but wears them anyway. Her main concern is that she is not to see any dead pigs; Jazzer reassures her that the rear them, not kill them, and tells her to wash her hands, because it's obligatory new manicure or no new manicure.

Stella is drooling over the drill, which Pip assures her is a very sexy thing and not sad at all. The pair indulge in some giggling and banter until Stella blurts out that she wants them to tell Rosie about 'Us'. Pip reckons that she-and-Stella just works, but OK, they should. After all Pip's overthinking, this surprises Stella. Pip wants to go to The Bull and have a drink before they pick her up from Gran, who is looking after her [Jill is a mere stripling who will be 93 next week. Chris], and tell her once they get her home.

The smell of pigs doesn't please Chelsea, and nor did the biosecurity measures, and she is about to argue the toss over them when her eye is caught by piglets and she goes into high-pitched 'squee' mode and tries to get to them. Neil and Jazzer prevent her at first, but since she has got all the protection on Neil reluctantly allows it, with the caveat from Jazzer that they said 'see', not 'manhandle'. She immediately sees a resemblance between one of the piglets and Jazzer, christening it 'Jazz'. Neil agrees, whilst Jazzer pretends to be offended. She then wants to help them mend a water-line, and they allow her into the pen while Neil finds it; she makes sure while she is there that Chelsea's plans for the reading tomorrow have been explained to Jazzer; he resignedly says that they have been, several times. Neil cuts in to say heavily that the double-booking business was bad, and Chelsea adds that Kiki was upset and hasn't spoken to Jim since; Jazzer wants to know why Josh disappointing Jim and his wee pal mean that Jazzer gets lumbered with more Lark Rise to Candleford, and on a Friday night? Chelsea assures him that everyone is bringing a bottle and some nibbles, and it's going to be great. Jazzer grumbles about silver linings, and Chelsea makes sure he is OK with it; when he says she doesn't need his permission she tells him that actually, Mum said she did. Since it is for the Prof, he agrees, to her relief. Jim will be chuffed to see him and Neil down there. Neil utters a startled 'what?' but is ignored by Chelsea, who is now trying to befriend 'Jazz'; she asks when Jazz and his brothers and sisters will be going to (whisper) the abattoir? Jazzer laughs at her and tells her they cannae understand English, while Neil tells her that they go by weight: when they are eighty-five kilograms, which will be around four months for that fellow. She asks whether that would mean if he didn't reach that weight he wouldn't face the butcher's knife, but Jazzer tells her it doesn't work like that; he'll reach the weight, soon or late, and then go to the abattoir. Chelsea takes this as her cues to go to the locker room and change out of all the protective gear; Neil is sorry about her having such a sad face, and Jazzer suggests they should all get changed and go to the pub when they've finished, which cheers her up a little.

Once Chelsea is gone Jazzer has a quick mutter about the amount of disinfectant used during her visit, which he and Neil agree is not something they plan to repeat in a hurry. Neil is glad she's had half a lesson in pig-farming but doesn't reckon she'll do the second half: an abattoir is a different story. Jazzer then comes across yet another copy of Lark Rise to Candleford, and this isn't Chelsea's, which looks new: he works out that it belongs to Neil and is disappointed in him, but apparently Susan gave it to him with the parts about pigs marked for him because of Chelsea visiting Berrow, and he has read on and thinks it isn't half bad. It's interesting to see how they used to farm back in the day, and use every bit of a pig. Maybe Jazzer should give it a read himself and see. Jazzer insists that's not going to happen. Neil laughs that it's only a book, not a nuclear bomb.

The visit to the pub has turned into a meeting of Pip and Stella with Neil, Jazzer and Chelsea; Neil confesses to Chelsea that he is reading Lark Rise to Candleford, and enjoying it: he thinks it's a brilliant book. Pip asks what this is about, and then prophesies that Jazzer will be next; Jazzer suggests a game of darts to Neil and they go off for that. Chelsea asks whether Pip has done something different with her hair or makeup; when Pip denies this she is surprised, because Pip looks really nice: glowing. Pip thanks her, and she asks what Pip's skin regime is and learns that Pip washes her face when she gets up. Pip expects to be too busy to come to the reading tomorrow [yeahright. Chris] but if anything changes she will be there. Stella, coming back in time to hear this, has to be told where, and they are about to discuss it when Pip is called to an emergency family meeting: Josh's band has pulled out. Chelsea finds this funny, and when Stella asks what he will do Pip has no idea; neither has Josh, by the sound of things.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 29th September, 2023

For the harvest supper: Larks Tongues in Earwax (with thanks to TFM).

Characters: Jim, Josh, Lilian, Susan, Emma, Chelsea
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

With oppressive politeness, Jim offers tea or coffee to Josh, who equally politely refuses anything and is then told with less courtesy to get to the point. He duly does, though clumsily, explaining that the Straw Crows were offered a big gig in Birmingham [at three days' notice. Chris] and 'Dropped you like a hot potato?' suggests Jim sweetly; 'Cut you out like a malignant mole?' Josh simply agrees, saying that he has spent the last night and morning trying to book some form of entertainment and failing. 'What a shame,' coos Jim with faux-sympathy. Anyway, Josh was thinking: Jim and Kiki already had something prepared, so whatever they think of him, and of what happened, he wants to appeal to Jim's better nature, his sense of community, and ask him and Kiki to come and play, as they planned, tomorrow night. Please. Jim was expecting Josh earlier; Josh doesn't understand, but Jim tells him Chelsea was in The Bull and overheard the news. So Jim knew why he was there, exclaims Josh; yes, but even Jim wasn't sure he would try and recruit them back. Josh assumes that is because it is futile, to which Jim adds 'and rather presumptuous'; however, after twisting Josh's tail a bit more and making him grovel, Jim stops him from leaving to ask if he has a set of wheels, and, when Josh says he has, remarks that he needs a ride and believes Josh owes him one.

For the first of her 'six at sixty' challenges Susan is being introduced, by Lilian, to a horse called Billie Jean, while Emma calls encouragement from the sidelines. It's clear that Susan is nervous; don't rush her, she implores, Shula rushed her last time. Then Billie Jean snorts down his nose and Susan shrieks, though Lilian cheerfully tells her he won't bite; that just makes her think about his teeth. Lilian is patient with her, coaxing her to touch him and get used to him before fetching the steps so Susan can mount comfortably.

Josh asks where they are going and is told 'Loxley Barrett'; Jim lets him know that they are going there in order to persuade Kiki to join him and do the entertainment. He just wanted to see Josh squirm, Jim informs him with relish, but not to make the whole village squirm. [I don't see why the absence of Jim and Kiki would have made the village squirm. Chris.] He explains to Josh that Kiki has not been answering her phone; musicians can be sensitive people. His main concern is that she may have gone for her weekend away as originally planned, and not told him. Chelsea then rings him to make sure he will be turning up for her reading; she wants him to bring his volume of Lark Rise to Candleford because they are short of copies; he reassures her, and she adds that Kiki is like totally invited as well and she's sorry she hasn't mentioned it before: if she's available Jim will certainly ask her. After Chelsea rings off Josh asks what they'll do if Kiki's not there, and Jim rather grimly tells him they'll cross that bridge when they come to it.

Emma continues to shriek encouragement and Susan is eventually hoisted into the saddle, then promptly wants to dismount again because the horse is too big. She also objects to Emma taking photos of her. There is a great deal of shrieking from both Emma and Susan, but the [bomb-proof. Chris] horse endures it. When Susan continues to state that she wants to get off, at once, Emma gives her a pep talk: she's the bravest person of all the people Emma knows, and today may be a challenge but it is about facing that challenge. She is to do it – or she can get off that horse and Emma will take her for a purple rinse right now. Susan capitulates, apologises to Lilian, and stops carrying on. Lilian now hopes to get her into 'a light trot' before the end of the lesson. [She trotted last time she was on a horse, in March 2021. Chris.] She leads Billie Jean off, to the accompaniment of more shrieking from Emma.

It is as Jim had feared: Kiki is away for the weekend, according to the neighbours. Josh apologises for having been the cause of her anger with Jim. He'd rather not go home just yet, so Jim invites him to go to the reading with him.

Both Lilian and Emma are now shouting at Susan and the horse, and Lilian suggests that it is now time to try the trot, if Susan remembers how to do it: Susan utters a whoop and does. Emma is impressed, and Lilian greatly pleased. She shouts her congratulations to Susan. As Susan exclaims that it's amazing and she loves Billie Jean, Lilian asks whether she is ready for a canter, but Susan doesn't think so.

Chelsea is encouraging everyone to have the book ready, while Susan tells Jim about her triumph: he is very impressed. Then the lights blow, and Chelsea asks for a phone so she can see what's happened; Josh asks whether they have any candles, and sure enough they have some left over from the wedding reception, so she asks people to grab one if they are reading and they can get started. Lilian thinks it's nice and cosy, as if they went back in time. Chelsea is chosen to read first: she has chosen a bit which makes her think about Ambridge. As she starts, Jim has a brainwave: is Josh think what he's thinking? [Is Pinky? Chris.] Look at everyone. Mesmerised. Josh grasps the idea: they should get everyone reading passages from the book tomorrow? Jim thinks it beats him and Kiki, and those Straw crows, hands down – especially with the barn lit by candles. Josh tells him he is a lifesaver; they must see if everyone is up for it. What are they to call it? Jim has the answer to that: the title is obvious. Lark Rise by Candlelight. The episode finishes as Chelsea's reading ends amid applause.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 1st October, 2023

Eddie seems to have been haunted, and Alan's words come back to haunt him.

Characters: Alan, Usha, Rob, Oliver, Eddie, Emma, Adil
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

We are mercifully spared all but the last minute of Alan's clearly awful sermon, after which it cuts at once to outside church after the Harvest Thanksgiving service; Alan is saying goodbye to people and Usha is trying to hurry him up; he remarks to her that Cecil Jackson, the man who only drinks halves, brought a large quantity of tinned fruit and bags of rice to donate today. She reassures him that his sermon was beautiful and no-one would have guessed he drank too much cider at the harvest supper last night. He claims he only had two pints, or maybe three, and it went to his head because he's so exhausted. She leaves him to take his vestments off while she helps Jean tidying up, and just as he is closing the doorthere is a shout to hold on, not close it yet. It's Rob Titchener.

Not being one to turn down a drink, Eddie accepts sherry from Oliver, who asks him whether he knows about Mia's visit to a university open day: she plans to study environmental sustainability and climate science, very impressive; Eddie jokes that he thought she knew everything already. When Emma gets in to join them for lunch she has brought an apple-cake for afters but is offered no sherry, just given a compliment on her reading at the harvest supper. Oliver thought the whole idea of Lark Rise by Candlelight was brilliant, sitting in that lovely old barn [completely rebuilt in 2012 after a fire which destroyed the one which was built after arson destroyed the previous one in the early seventies. Chris] eating and drinking and hearing those snatches from the past. Eddie mentions that it was popular, too, like the illuminations at Bridge Farm; he thinks they should do something to put Grange Farm on the map. Emma makes yet another comparison with the book, mentioning the Turnpike Ghost, so Eddie at once thinks of ghost-stories and the money they could make from them. After Oliver goes to answer the door, Eddie enthuses to Emma about this idea. She is sceptical.

It was Adil at the door, and he is in quite a state because he can't lay his hands on some amended plans of changes which had to be made to the windows in the north wing. Oliver can't see the urgency, but Adil says he has searched the whole office and been through his emails, and it just can't wait. Oliver clearly feels this sort of fuss is not reasonable: it's Sunday, and Adil shouldn't be in the office on Sunday; Adil, not really listening, asks if he has copies and cajoles him to hunt for them, and Oliver invites him to come through to his study.

To Alan's surprise, Rob wants to be baptised. Alan is also surprised to see Rob in Ambridge at all: if anyone saw him... Rob patiently tells him that is why he waited until after the service. Alan has heard a little about what has been going on, and thought Rob was living down south now; is he even allowed to be in Ambridge, legally he means? Rob evades that question by telling Alan that he has a brain tumour, which takes Alan aback yet again. Rob explains its imminent fatality and Alan says he is sorry to hear that; Rob tells him that it has forced him to look back on his life and all the mistakes he's made, the hurt he's caused, and that's why he wants to be baptised: so he can ask for forgiveness, maybe even try to make amends. He realises he's asking a lot ('Yes, you are,' puts in Alan with emphasis) but Alan was kind to him after the trial when everyone else turned their backs on him. That's why he is coming to him now. He wants to be baptised by someone who understands why he is doing it, who knows him and the wrong he has done. Alan stammers as he points out that he is not Rob's vicar, but Rob has an answer to that objection: he has just moved to Penny Hassett.

Oliver finds the revised technical drawings attached to an email, and forwards them to Adil: he did tell Adil not to fret. Adil says Oliver would fret too if he had so many things to keep on top of. For instance the gym equipment has been delayed again; Oliver thinks that might be a good thing, since the new floor hasn't gone down yet. Adil reminds him that the opening is not that far away, but Oliver is sure it will all come together: he has every faith. Adil impatiently says that is nice, but it isn't Oliver he is answerable to. It's a massive investment he is responsible for, and if he doesn't deliver... Oliver offers to take more of the strain and do some of the chasing for him; as he is speaking a message comes in on Adil's phone, possibly as a result of which Adil says that what has upset him isn't work. And now he has to get back to the hotel.

Eddie is trying out various scary stories on Emma, but she knows them already, so he makes one up specially for her, about having himself had a ghastly experience, on the night of the full moon in Leader's Wood, with a hound which might also have been a witch. Emma is eventually convinced there may be something in it; Eddie tells her the only reason he never mentioned it before is that he was terrified and decided to keep schtum and never go back. He asks whether she reckons that will pull in the punters, and she allows that he might be onto something.

Because Usha is calling him, Alan tells Rob he has to go; Rob wants to know before he leaves whether what he wants is a possibility. Alan tells him it's not that simple: there's a process that has to be gone through. Rob wants to start that process: he doesn't want to labour the point, but he doesn't have a great deal of time. Alan appreciates that but also has his parishioners' feelings to consider; Rob points out that he is one of Alan's parishioners. Alan says that he is still not obliged to minister to him [actually he is, in the matter of baptism. Chris] and Rob retorts that doesn't seem very Christian. To Alan's protestations that it would upset a lot of people if he baptised Rob, the reply is that all Rob wants is to be welcomed into the Church, to be washed of his sins before it's too late. Rather desperately, Alan agrees to go and see him in his flat tomorrow; Rob has already got the address written down for him. Usha is now looking for him, and Rob agrees to go, pausing only to remind Alan of once having said that no-one is beyond redemption.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 2nd October, 2023

Jazzer and Tracy say Yes to Brad, who didn't ask; Alan says No to Rob, who did.

Characters: Tracy, Jazzer, Brad, Rob, Alan
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Because he is now reading Lark Rise to Candleford, Jazzer is not helping Tracy to find her phone so she can take it to work; he turns out to have been sitting on it. Brad gets in from college and Tracy mentions that Emma has told her Mia has been going to university open days: shouldn't he be going too? He has assumed he wouldn't be able to because it would cost a fortune: the one on Wednesday that he wants to go to would be almost a hundred pounds even with a railcard, and he'd need somewhere to stay as well. Tracy is deflated, even though he tells her it doesn't matter and he was nervous about going anyhow: he can find out everything he needs to on line. And if he can't go there's no point talking about it; she should go to work, and he has work to do too.

Rob lets Alan in and apologises for the mess: Miles is coming up on Wednesday to help him settle in. He mentions not needing to care about getting back his deposit but still asks Alan to take his shoes off. Alan can't stay long; Rob offers tea, or coffee, and Alan thanks him saying 'with milk'. Rob then contrives to not-quite-fall such that Alan can't help noticing, then make light of losing his balance as a minor symptom, telling Alan to go on through and make himself comfortable.

Wanting a word about Brad, Jazzer has gone in to see Tracy at The Bull: he has been talking to the Prof and has been told that Brad does need to go to these open days, to see what the places are actually like and where he's going to live; Tracy thinks that too. Jazzer has been thinking: Tracy isn't working on Wednesday and Jazzer can wangle a day off, so they could drive up to the open day Brad showed interest in. They'd have to get up early because it's about two hundred miles, but the petrol will be cheaper than Brad taking a train and staying for a night; if Mia gets to do it why shouldn't Brad? Tracy agrees: to hell with the money, let's do it.

Complete with ostentatious, noisy walking-stick Rob brings Alan some tea [has the Man Stimpson ever carried a cup of tea while using a walking-stick, I wonder? My father usually couldn't manage it without spillage, even after fifty years' practice. Chris] and starts making small talk about Ambridge; Alan sternly reminds him he is not here to talk about other people, but about Rob. Before anything else, he needs to know that Rob is going to be completely honest with him: he'll be asking some difficult questions, and he can't do anything unless Rob tells him the truth. Rob replies that he can only explain things as he sees them, but of course he'll tell the truth. Alan then asks how long he has known about the tumour; he got the final diagnosis about two and a half months ago, but he started having seizures earlier in the summer, out of the blue. The only saving grace to those was he had one in June and Helen was with him: they were having coffee together, and she went to the hospital with him. Alan is confused: he thought she didn't want any more to do with Rob; Rob asks whether it was Helen or her family who told Alan that, then strongly suggests that it is her family, rather then Helen herself, who want her not to have anything to do with him. He actively suggests that he thinks she wants to be supportive but is stuck between him and her parents. Alan asks if she knows Rob is in the area, and Rob says not yet, but she's been such a huge support already; then he goes off on a tangent and explains that he didn't handle getting the news very well. He then compares that experience with being stabbed: this is different because this time, he knows he is going to die and can't do anything but wait while it consumes him. He imagines Alan must be used to this sort of thing, death being his bread and butter; Alan accepts that is is true in a way, and Rob wants to know how he helps them not to be scared, at which Alan points to the hope of salvation and the reassurance that they will always be with God, in this life and beyond. He asks whether Rob wants not to be afraid, which is something Alan can't do for him: Rob himself has to believe, and he wasn't a church-goer when he lived in Ambridge. Was he raised in the faith? Alan is assuming he wasn't christened. Rob retorts that he is here now: isn't that what's important? Alan still need to understand why he wants to be baptised: is he only reaching for faith now because he has nothing to lose? Rob impatiently asks if it matters: Alan said he is redeemable, and if there is that chance, who cares what brought him there? Alan is clear that there is more to being baptised than just having water poured over your head, and he would want him to have some sessions about what it means to be a Christian, as well as coming to services. Rob agrees that would be fine: he is already reading the bible; Alan asks if he has any favourite bits, and after a little pause he produces half a verse from the 23rd Psalm, which Alan has to finish for him. The question of 'why here?' now gets raised; why not find a church near his home? Rob suddenly has a terrible tumour-induced headache and can barely think, breathing heavily. Alan tries to ignore it, asking why, since Rob knows what the community went through, he wants to stir it up again: for his own sake, how is it going to help, when he knows what everyone thinks of him? Rob is clear enough: because they're the ones he needs to show he's changed. He's not allowed to see Jack; when Alan asks whether it is just a ploy to get near Jack he asks what Alan thinks he is going to do, kidnap him? What for? He won't be around to take care of him. All Jack is ever going to know about him is what other people tell him, and they won't say anything good unless he proves he's not a monster. That's why he's there: so there's something worth remembering after he's gone. He then suffers a sudden bout of nausea and has to make a run for the lavatory, telling Alan to stay where he is.

When Tracy gets in after work she finds Jazzer and Brad checking the university open day; Brad says for what is clearly not the first time that they really don't have to take him, to be told that it's not up for discussion, and Tracy wants to have a look. She's impressed: it looks like a church, or a cathedral; or Hogwarts, adds Brad. He shows her the course: BSc, Bachelor of Science. She notes that a typical offer is A*, A*, A, and Brad tells her he wants to find out more about Year One core modules; Tracy asks what calculus is and he tells her it is the mathematical study of continuous change, either instantaneous or based on the summation of infinitesimal differences; Jazzer claims he took the words out of Jazzer's mouth. [For the rest, https://apps.dur.ac.uk/faculty.handbook/2023/UG/programme/G100 Chris.] Brad is enthusiastic, Tracy baffled; he adds as an inducement that there are talks they can go to. She sounds almost convincing as she tells him she's sure they're going to have a brilliant day.

Alan raps on the door of the lavatory where Rob is sequestered, asking if he's OK; he has places to be, and just wants to know Rob's all right. Rob emerges, apologising, and Alan is relieved to feel he's safe to leave. Rob wants to continue another time, but Alan tells him that he can't baptise him: to be brutally frank, he's not even convinced Rob is ill. If he is, and he's genuine, Alan is really sorry, but after everything he knows about him... Rob breaks in asking if he thinks he is putting it on, and Alan tells him that he doesn't know, and that's the point: the very fact that he is questioning it means that he shouldn't be baptising Rob. and now he really must go. The angry Rob comes to the fore, telling him to hang on, wait; Alan asks him please to let him by. Rob says he has letters from his consultant, not with him but he can get them, or he can ask Helen, who was there and saw him fitting; Alan says firmly he is not going to ask Helen. Or his brother Miles, offers Rob: he can't believe Alan thinks he's lying. They're all God's creatures: isn't Alan supposed to see the best in people? Slowly, Alan replies that he has given Rob his answer; now could he get to the door, please. Rob steps aside and says no-one is stopping him; Alan thanks him and then says again that he is sorry: he has nothing else to say.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 3rd October, 2023

Emma searches for answers, as does Alan.

Characters: Oliver, Emma, Alan, Usha, Adil, Lynda
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

It is apparently not much of a detour from Grange Farm to Grey Gables via Bridge Farm [it more then doubles the distance travelled. Chris], so Oliver is giving Emma a lift. He asks how things are at the tea-room, and gets a standard reply about Fallon not being happy and Natasha coming in and measuring everything in sight. Emma is just keeping her head down and doing her job. Oliver has another go at recruiting her for Grey Gables' housekeeping team but she reckons that now she is studying for her English Literature GCSE she'll stay on at the tea-room. He asks what books are on the syllabus these days, and she tells him they've just started Macbeth, of which he immediately quotes the opening lines, having played Macduff at school. She asks him whether he thinks they really did have witches back then, and he is fairly sure they thought they existed when Shakespeare was writing his plays. When he hears that Eddie reckons one used to live in Leader's Wood his sensible reaction is to assume it is just another of Eddie's tall stories, but though Emma thought it was rubbish at first, Will told her that there is a clearing in Leader's Wood such as Eddie had described, and only nettles and thistles grow there. Oliver is not impressed, even if Tracy has said strange things live in Leader's Wood, and reminds her that Joe and Eddie's 'Beast of Ambridge' turned out to be a wild boar.

After being called back by Usha requiring that he kiss her goodbye, and grilled as to what he will be doing today, Alan outlines a full and busy day of trivia. However, he turns back again on the point of departure to ask whether she has heard any more about Rob Titchener: he hasn't been in contact with Helen or anything? Usha doesn't think so, though Helen has been having a really tough time according to Pat; why? What made him think of Rob? He says he is probably going to see Pat at the homeless shelter later and wondered if there had been any developments, but if Rob hasn't tried to get in touch then that's good.

The refurbishment of Grey Gables is proceeding in a slightly chaotic way, and Adil sounds harassed even before Lynda turns up and starts demanding he gives her time that he doesn't have. She is concerned that he left early with no breakfast, but wants information about the ball, or rather wants to tell him what he wants and also to be put in touch with his publicity people. His asking them to contact her won't do: she wants to get in touch with them at her convenience not theirs. Since he is less than grovellingly polite to her, she first wonders accusingly whether he is regretting asking her to organise the opening, then reassures him she is cancelling a holiday in Bath with Robert in order to concentrate on her plans for the ball. Whilst he is trying to get through to her that she really shouldn't, Oliver comes in and asks her opinion of the new reception area, and Adil takes advantage of this to escape to his office. After he is gone, Lynda asks Oliver whether he thinks Adil is OK: he seems run ragged. Oliver knows what she means, and agrees with her that at this rate he is going to make himself ill. However, Lynda is not to worry: she can leave it to him to have a word.

Poor Alan is just trying to get a cup of coffee at the tea-room but is being closely questioned by Emma about the church's, and his own, stance on witches and the supernatural. He does his best to remain civil as instead of actually serving him she tells him that an afterlife means ghosts must exist. When she speculates that some people just get lost between this life and the next he tells her he is pretty sure that's not how it works; as a vicar, he would have seen plenty of ghosts if they existed, and he hasn't. And he is in a bit of a rush; can he please have his drink? She witters on: if he believes in Heaven he has got to believe in Hell and evil spirits and all that sort of thing; he says 'not necessarily' and tries to explain a little: for him hell is being separated from God, and that's why salvation is so important. Without it there is no hereafter, only darkness; and that is Hell enough. Emma murmurs that she sees, but as he is about to get away with his cappuccino she stops him again to ask how anyone gets punished, then. He patiently explains again that being separated from God is the punishment, and in any case he believes in forgiveness. She is not at all sure about that idea: some people don't deserve to be forgiven, just as witches back in the olden days didn't deserve to be punished. Fortunately for Alan, before his head explodes Lynda comes over and starts to talk with Emma about the witch in Leader's Wood, so he is able to take his coffee and flee. Lynda and Emma carry on without him, Lynda feeding Emma's silliness using words like 'shapeshifter' (or therianthropy), and laying claim to a heretofore completely unobserved fascination with what she calls the mythical and the folklorique. In fact she owns a book of old Borsetshire tales, which she offers to land to Emma when Emma explains about her study of Macbeth having piqued her interest.

A phone call Adil is having is interrupted by Oliver, who wants to shut the door and have a private word. He is worried about Adil and thinks he needs some time away. Adil protests against the idea on the grounds that he doesn't have time, nor indeed time to listen to Oliver now, but Oliver insists that it's no use working sixteen hours a day seven days a week if you end up collapsing with exhaustion. Eventually Oliver's insistence forces Adil to admit that a break would be nice, and a proper night's sleep; he admits he is struggling and has even considered going to the doctor's for some sleeping pills. Oliver suggests that he should, and also that he must take some time off; Adil finally capitulates and agrees on this Friday. He'll be back on Monday.

Alan is home, and Usha has cooked methi matar malai for their evening meal. Usha's day has been unremarkable, though she thinks Jill is blaming her for Fallon having won at the F&P; how was Alan's? He has had a victory over the replacement of a gutter on the church, and saw Pat at The Elms but they didn't talk much about Helen; Usha thinks perhaps they just want to get back to normal after the past few months. Alan helps himself to beer, and is castigated for not putting it in a glass. He asks what would happen if Rob Titchener did turn up now, and she says he would be a fool if he did: he has been refused access to Jack so there's no reason for him to be around, and no, she doesn't think there is any way he could legally appeal, and quite right too. Men like him shouldn't be able to use the courts to carry

on abusing their victims. Alan points out that they don't know that's what he's been doing: he might have changed. There's got to be room in the system for people to learn from their mistakes. Usha feels that the system is also there to keep people safe; Rob Titchener has had his opportunity and based on the evidence, the judge has decided he shouldn't have contact. Alan argues: what it something has happened since, what if the situation's different now, what if he's genuinely sorry? What if he wants to put things right? Usha wants to know why he cares so much about Rob, and Alan claims he doesn't; he is just asking: where's redemption in all this? Usha reminds him that the courts can't look into people's souls; all they can do is look at past behaviour and weigh up the risks, and as for redemption, that's Alan's arena.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 4th October, 2023

Brad seems underwhelmed and Alan unconvinced.

Characters: Jazzer, Tracy, Brad, Miles, Alan, Student Ambassador
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

At the crack of five in the morning Jazzer is trying to get Brad to hurry up, and Tracy is trying to get Jazzer to quiet down and not wake Chelsea and Bert. While they wait to set off for the open day Tracy makes sure everything is packed: cheese cobs, crisps, sausage rolls, but no Scottish eggs [sic, and it is Jazzer who says it. Chris] because they make Jazzer fart; she wonders whether they need to take a brolly. When Brad does get downstairs he is horrified that Jazzer is in a kilt and Tracy in the dress she wore to her wedding, and Tracy is equally upset that he is in trackie bottoms. Tracy wants him to go and change, but both Jazzer and Brad veto the idea, and Jazzer hustles them out to the car.

As he closes the vicarage door behind himself Alan is waylaid by Miles Titchener, who wants to know why he refused to baptise Rob. His manner is aggressive, and Alan informs him that he has to be somewhere and would be happy to talk another time. Miles angrily asks what sort of vicar he is anyway, and when Alan replies, 'A very busy one,' dismissively retorts that Alan knows what he means. How could Alan say 'no' to a dying man? Alan appearing to doubt that Rob is dying infuriates him, leading Alan to point out that Rob has something of a reputation... Miles shouts that of course Rob's dying, does Alan think he would make something like that up? Alan's dubious 'well' is lost in further sound and fury: that is why Miles is there, because getting baptised means everything to Rob and he is crushed Alan won't do it. As Alan shows signs of capitulation, Miles asserts that he doesn't believe in God but he does love his brother, and if this is what is going to give him strength to get through the next few months, or weeks, what else can he do? [Make an appointment and be civil? Just a suggestion... Chris] Alan says it has been playing [sic] on his conscience, and that he should at least have been sure about the situation before turning Rob away. He does genuinely have an appointment to get to, but if Miles is able to come back in a couple of hours they can talk then.

While Tracy and Jazzer enthuse about the beautiful buildings at the university, and speculate about the life of those who are there, Brad is mostly silent: he is trying and failing to read the map, and gets into a bit of a panic about it. He's generally alarmed by the size of everything, and afraid he is going to miss his session. Rescue comes in the form of a Student Ambassador, who asks if they are OK. Jazzer says they're fine, but Tracy tells her they aren't; they are looking for the maths department. She tells them they have found it, and starts to lead them to where Brad is meant to be.

Alan is getting Rob's condition clear in his head, though it is hard to take in. He asks when Rob started to talk about being baptised; according to Miles it was a few weeks ago, maybe. It seems to have given him something to hope for, that and moving to Borsetshire. He didn't even tell them he was ill, at first, and then when he did Miles had to find out most of the details from Helen [which he did three days after Rob was given the diagnosis, so that 'at first' may have lasted oooh, as much as forty-eight hours before Miles was on the blower to Helen. Chris]; Alan corroborates that Rob said she'd been to the hospital with him, which Miles sarcastically suggests are hardly the actions [sic] of a poor abused victim. Alan clearly doesn't agree with this, but Miles wishes Rob had never laid eyes on the woman: this whole renting a flat, coming back; he tried to talk Rob out of it; as for finding Jesus! he adds scornfully, and it's clear he despises the very notion. Their father would never let them go near a church, said it was all just wishful thinking. He then apologises, but Alan isn't offended. Bruce thinks Rob has gone mad, but Rob seems to find genuine comfort in it. [How? It hasn't happened. Chris] He's convinced himself Alan needs to baptise him. Alan stammers through the explanation for his not wanting to: people in Ambridge have a very negative view of his brother and it would stir up a lot of hostility. Miles is indifferent to this; who cares? What does it matter how they view him? Isn't the Church meant to stand up for people who have been rejected by society? Alan points out that Rob could be baptised anywhere, but Miles just reiterates that he wants to be baptised in Ambridge, by Alan. Alan says he is concerned about Rob's real motivation, and Miles' anger breaks out again: has Alan not been listening? Rob wants to know that this isn't all there is, that there was some point to his existence! When Alan asks him not to get upset he shouts that back: don't get upset? They've only just lost his mum, and now he's going to lose his only sibling! He can't look after him, he has to be on the farm. Not listening to Alan, Miles complains that Rob won't listen. All he wants is that Jack won't grow up thinking his dad was a monster. How is that wrong? Alan tries to calm Miles, to no avail.

The student ambassador now shows Tracy and Jazzer round, being very friendly; when told she is studying quantum mechanics Jazzer shows unexpected knowledge of the subject. She does a good job of selling the place to Tracy and Jazzer, one way and another. When the session ends and Tracy embarrasses Brad by bellowing to him across the crowd, and he's rather subdued about what he heard and saw: loads to take in and loads of the others were asking questions but he didn't know what to say. The student tells him not to worry and that she felt the same when she came for her open day, but it's not the same when you are actually a student; it's not so scary. She offers them a private tour.

Alan has provided tissues for Miles, who clearly broke down. Miles now proceeds to try to exculpate Rob, using his time in hospital as an excuse for his behaviour [which happened before he was in hospital. Chris], plus the hoary old chestnut 'all he's been through'. Everyone was quick to forgive Helen; hasn't Rob suffered enough? With restraint, Alan suggests that he thinks people forgave Helen because she was found not guilty. Miles belittles her experience: what does she know about abuse? She should have tried being brought up by their father. Alan asks whether he was violent, to which Miles replies that Bruce doesn't tolerate weakness and paints a picture of a nasty bully who even blames Rob for his tumour: strong men don't get sick, do they. If Rob had stayed on the family farm he wouldn't have got sick. Alan protests that it isn't something you can catch, but it seems that Bruce can always make you feel that you've failed somehow. In a way, Miles adds bitterly, it's a good thing Mum died when she did: he'd have found a way to blame her too. The point Miles is trying to make is that if Rob has done bad things in the past it's not because he's a bad person. As Alan murmurs 'no', Miles asks about the line in the bible about the sins of the father; ah, Ezekiel 18, 20, replies Alan: he quotes (goodness knows why!) the American Standard Version of that verse, 'the son shall not bear the iniquity of the father, neither shall the father bear the iniquity of the son'. Miles' response is 'there you go then'; Alan then inaccurately tells him that the next line says that if a wicked person turns away from his sins and embraces God he shall not die. [This is not what any available translation says. I suppose 'statute' is too difficult. Chris.] According to Miles, Rob is asking to be forgiven. He wants peace. Alan can give him that. Alan snorts, then points out it's not Alan who forgives: it is God. Alan would like to help Rob know that God forgives, but it's just that other parishioners... Miles suggests that it would be a great example for them to see someone they thought was beyond the pale returned to the flock. It could be a healing experience for everyone. Miles pushes Alan: will he do it? Will he baptise Miles' brother? Alan will think about it.

The university guided tour continues and is as enthralling as any purely visual exposition generally is on the radio. The student then has to get back downstairs but tells them to feel free to nose around; unless they've got anything else to ask her? Tracy prompts Brad, who doesn't think he's got any more questions. The student says brightly that they know where she is, and that it has been nice meeting them: definitely the best-dressed parents she's seen so far today. The kilt is next level. After she's gone, Brad, under questioning, admits that it's OK but doesn't seem particularly excited; Tracy and Jazzer are excited enough to make up for it. Tracy exclaims about it: her son, the very first Horrobin to go to university! [Apart from Kylie. Chris.]

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 5th October, 2023

Brad gets cold feet and Eddie the cold shivers.

Characters: Emma, Eddie, Tracy, Jazzer, Brad, Lynda
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

When Eddie gets home from the market, Emma rushes over to tell him she is going over to see Lynda and have a look at some books about ghosts and local legends; she asks for more detail about the Diabolical Hound, such as when exactly it happened to him. Eddie tells her to drop it, and when she says she knows he doesn't like talking about it because it scared him so much, he reveals that he made it up and laughs at her for having believed him. She found him so convincing that she now can't believe that he lied like that; he firmly tells her that it isn't lying, just good story-telling. In fact if this Halloween idea is to come off he's going to need a few more, so she could see what she can find out at Lynda's. She's to be careful, he adds in a hushed voice: some of Lynda's books aren't the sort you'd find in a bookshop, he's talking about spells and hexes and the like. Unsure whether to believe him or not, Emma asks if he is serious, whereupon he snorts with laughter: of course he's not.

Confirming that Brad has to get his UCAS application in by the end of January, which he has already told her, Tracy is glad there is plenty of time to visit other unis, though Jazzer grumbles that he hopes for the next one they won't have to drive four hundred miles in a single day. Brad worries again about the cost, and again Tracy tells him they will find the money. What matters is him choosing the best university. Brad ties to explain that it's not just about open days: there are tuition fees [these will be the same whichever university he goes to. Chris] and everything else. Tracy dismissively says he'll get a loan; but he doesn't want to end up in thousands of pounds' worth of debt. She tells him not to worry about that now: all he needs to worry about it getting cracking grades. Now she has to go because he shift starts in ten minutes, and Brad is to stop fretting. Brad says he is going to his room, and when Jazzer asks if he has anything else worrying him denies it as he goes out.

Lynda thinks the idea of a helicopter ride for Susan is marvellous and reminds Emma about James and Leonie flying over the village taking pictures for their book, though unfortunately nothing came of that. Lynda thinks it's a fabulous present for Susan's birthday next week and promises not to breathe a word, before settling down to the reason Emma is there. She hasn't sorted all the suitable books, but has found the one she thinks will be most use to Emma, which she hands to her before going to find some others. She built up quite a collection after the barn conversions at Brookfield burnt down back in the late eighties; she started researching when Tom Forrest and Walter Gabriel claimed to have seen an apparition there, and discovered a tale about a Civil War soldier having taken refuge in a cottage on that site, which led her to theorise that the building work had 'disturbed the dormant spirit'. She becomes mystical about being able to sense the past, and then (not having stopped talking since Emma got there) asks whether Emma has found anything yet; Emma of course hasn't. Rather than going away and letting Emma get on with it Lynda tells her to start reading but then distracts her with another instance of a 'haunting' in Ambridge, the ghost of Florrie Hoskins which Martha Woodford decided was haunting her even though Florrie drowned in the village pond and not in Bluebell Cottage. She is interrupted by Emma, who has just happened immediately to come across a local tale which almost perfectly matches Eddie's invention of Sunday. It is The Tale of Alice Boswell, the witch of Lea Wood.

When he goes into Brad's room after knocking and being invited, Jazzer finds Brad looking at a prospectus for another university, Felpersham. They do a BSc in Maths too, and though the course isn't as good as some others it's still ranked in the top thirty; one one site it's ranked nineteenth. Jazzer is concerned: wouldn't he rather go somewhere further from home? No, not really, is Brad's reply; he spent most of the open day feeling like he were going to throw up and he don't reckon he's ready to live that far from home. The thought of not knowing anyone and being up there on his own... And anyhow it would be cheaper going to Felpersham: he could carry on living at home and keep working at The Orangery. Jazzer protests that Tracy is right and he mustn't go on worrying about money, but Brad is clear that it's not just about that: he's worried he won't be able to hack it. What if he went and then couldn't cope? He'd much rather be somewhere he knows, where he's not going to feel anxious or lonely, where he can concentrate on his studies. Jazzer asks whether it's about missing Mia, who will be going to university too and won't be in Ambridge, but Brad tells him it's not about her; he just wants to choose where is best for him, not where he feels he ought to go. Jazzer gives way but warns Brad he'll have to tell his ma; Brad can't, because she's got her heart set on him going away. Could Jazzer do it instead?

Emma reads The Tale aloud to Lynda, a story of the murder by hanging of an old woman whom the villagers had decided was a witch, and of her dog beside her. She was accused of having given suck to a toad [interesting anatomical conundrum there. Gus], and of dancing naked on a stone altar; she screamed curses at the villagers and confessed she had struck down their cattle and blighted their crops, so they hanged her, and her dog as her familiar. The book asserts that it is said the hound can still be seen prowling Lea wood, eyes red and jaws dripping, ready to drag people down to meet its mistress in hell. Inevitably, at this moment Monty chooses to bark, putting the mockers on Lynda and Emma good and proper. Emma thinks this is mad: the book pretty-much matches everything Eddie said. She and Lynda decide that 'Lea' and 'Leader's' must refer to the same place, and Emma decides that Eddie wasn't making it up: he was telling the truth.

At The Bull Tracy is clearly boasting about Brad and University, which Eddie finds entertaining; she chooses to ignore his jibes, and merely charges him three pounds eighty, though we are not told for what. Jazzer then comes in and after greeting Eddie wants a word with Tracy. Eddie takes himself off, and Jazzer breaks it to Tracy that Brad wants to go to Felpersham. She can't understand it: with the grades he's predicted to get he could go almost anywhere. Jazzer explains that it's not to do with money; he just doesn't feel ready to leave home, and though Jazzer did his best to reassure him and allay his worries, he was adamant. Tracy is saddened that he is going to risk missing out on so much, but Jazzer has accepted that if Brad is unhappy it won't be a good experience. Brad is a special lad and needs to do what's right for him. Tracy is downcast but supposes there is still time before he has to apply: maybe if they go to a few more open days he'll change his mind. Jazzer is not persuaded of this: from what Brad said, his mind is made up. Tracy hates the idea of him limiting himself, but Jazzer points out as consolation that it's not as if he didn't want to go at all, and that he'll still be the first Horrobin to go to university [apart from Kylie, who went to Lancaster. Chris].

Emma has brought Lynda's book to show Eddie, who thinks at first that she is having him on. When he has read it he says this can't be right: it's impossible, he made the whole thing up! This changes everything. Emma said it herself: people are more likely to buy tickets for Halloween if they think there's some truth in it. Emma thinks there is definitely some truth in this: it's right there in black and white. Maybe Eddie is psychic, or in touch with the occult somehow. He claims he has gone stone cold with terror. Good work, Emma! If this puts the willies up them, it ought to scare the punters, too.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 6th October, 2023

Usha gets a nasty surprise, and Adil a pleasant one.

Characters: Usha, Alan, Rob, Lynda, Adil, Azra
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Usha has come to help Alan get things ready for a bible study class at St Agnes Church and is delighted to be spending some time with her husband; even when she has seen him this week, it has seemed he was only half there. He tells her he has a lot on his mind, and she asks whether it would help to share, but just as he seems about to confide in her the door opens. It's Rob Titchener, wanting to know if he's too early.

Continuing a conversation (or possibly a monologue) Lynda pontificates that even if there was such a woman living in Leader's Wood, Lynda very much doubts she was a witch. Back then there was a very real fear that people's neighbours could be recruited by Satan; thank goodness we live in a different time now. She apologises to Adil for going on while he wants to watch the cricket; he makes light of it because he needs to have lunch and then to get ready to go out; not to Grey Gables, but to see a doctor for some medication to help him sleep. Lynda prepares to go to the shop, and since Adil's phone has just started to ring, tells him as she leaves that he should turn that thing off. He has had the same thought.

Usha, with venom in her tone, tells Alan that Rob needs to leave now, and says 'Go on, go!' to Rob, who responds that with all due respect, he is entitled to be there. She asserts that he certainly is not, and he calmly tells her to ask Alan, who understands the situation; they have spoken a couple of times. Usha demands to know what he is talking about and whether that is true, and Alan tries to stop her from going on, asking him to give them a minute and find somewhere to sit down. Rob meekly agrees, and his walking-stick clicks to punctuate his retreat. In a quieter voice, Alan tries to explain to the angry Usha that Rob is a parishioner, since he now lives here in Penny Hassett. Usha thinks he can't be serious, and indignantly wants to know since when; he tells her it is since last weekend, and Rob came to see him after the service on Sunday. Alan knew she would be upset if he told her. ('Upset!' she repeats incredulously and at higher volume.) Alan was ready to turn Rob away, until Rob told him that he was dying. He's got a brain tumour, and what he wants is to be baptised. She is angry with Alan for believing this, and then clearly objects to his having to spoken to Miles as well and for thinking Rob could be sincere. She simply denies that possibility, but Alan knows that even if Rob is not sincere, as the vicar he has a responsibility. Usha wants to know what responsibility [having never bothered to find out anything about her husband's job, we have to assume. Chris] and, when Alan rather desperately says that everyone deserves a chance of salvation, wants to know what about all his other parishioners, Helen, and the rest of her family? I know, I know, groans Alan; Usha isn't going to accept that: does he? Because thanks to that man over there, Helen's anorexia is back: did he know that? No, he didn't. Pat told her, she hisses triumphantly; Helen is that stressed. Rob even managed to lure Henry to meet him; when Alan, horrified, asks 'What?' she tells him Rob hunted Henry down on line. [Which she cannot possibly know, since that did not happen. Chris.] Alan is not pleased by this information. Usha carries on accusingly: now he's come to Alan claiming that he's what, 'found God'? And Alan fell for it? Alan denies that he has fallen for anything; what he has done is try to listen with an open mind. The church is meant to welcome everybody, sinners most of all. Usha hisses that Rob is not just a sinner: he's dangerous, and he's manipulative, and it's Alan's job to protect this community from harm. [Well, no, in fact that is the job of the police if it is anyone's. Chris] Alan can justify it however he likes, but Rob has to go.

At the shop Lynda encounters Doctor Malik and recognises her as the new GP at Darrington: she is there to get some teabags. Azra recognises her too, and asks whether the cream helped: yes, whatever it was for cleared up straight away. Under questioning, the doctor says she doesn't live in the area: she lives in Solihull. Lynda exclaims that must be quite a commute, but is told that's the life of a locum for you; she's not permanent, though there are 'ongoing conversations'. In return, Lynda tells Azra that she's lived in Ambridge since 1986, when they moved there to escape the rat-race. She extols the sense of community as well as the beauty of the countryside; she speaks of the harvest supper and readings from [wait for it, wait for it, you 'orrible little man... Chris] one of her favourite books, Flora Thompson's Lark Rise to Candleford. Azra doesn't seem to have heard of it, and tries to break away, but has to be told about Grey Gables' opening; she repeats the name in a surprised voice, having seen the sign as she drove past [on an interesting route from Darrington, which is in exactly the opposite direction out of Ambridge. Chris]. Lynda tells her that the new manager has asked her to organise a black tie event for the opening; such a nice man, who stays at their B&B. Azra sharply asks who does, and Lynda tells her Adil Shah, the manager, and is also happy to tell Azra the name of her B&B, Ambridge Hall: if she ever can't face the commute, just look for the house with the llamas, where she would be more than welcome.

Alan has come to talk to Rob, and sits down; Rob at once tells him that he has been contemplating the east window: 'I am the good shepherd, for the son of man is come to seek and to save that which was lost'. [This is an amalgamated verse: John 10:11, 'I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep.' or 10:14,'I am the good shepherd, and know my sheep, and am known of mine.' and Luke 19:10, 'For the Son of man is come to seek and to save that which was lost.' all in the KJV. Chris.] Alan cuts to the chase: about Rob's request for baptism ... Rob interrupts to ask if they can pray together: he has tried but can't summon the right words, but Alan wants to talk first. He can't baptise Rob; even if he took him at face value, which he does, it still wouldn't be appropriate. Rob tries to protest but Alan over-rides him. He knows that's not what Rob wanted to hear; Rob says that he thought after talking to Miles Alan had changed his mind, but what Alan said was he would think about it, and he has. He has also spoken to the bishop, and they have agreed that the best solution is for Rob to attend church in another parish. Rob starts to breathe heavily. Alan is going to put Rob in touch with his colleague the Reverend Berry [or Bury? Chris]: she's the vicar of the church in Downham, about ten minutes' drive away. Rob doesn't want another vicar, he wants Alan. He doesn't even know this Reverend Berry. Alan makes it clear that he is sure she will be able to guide and comfort Rob, who is now breathing like a refugee from the five little engines and asks whether this is because of how Usha reacted to seeing him; Alan agrees that in a way it is, but mostly it's that his being part of this community would just be too contentious. It would be painful for Rob and unfair to everyone else. In any case it shouldn't matter who Rob's vicar is: it's Rob's relationship with God that's important. Rob, breathing like a grampus [but lacking Elizabeth's ability to stop his heart that way. Chris], tries to argue and is told that is what this is all about. Suddenly calm, he agrees that of course it is, thanks Alan and says he appreciates that Alan is trying to help him. Alan says he ought to get back, but Rob has a request: can they pray now? Alan starts an appropriate prayer.

After knocking on the door, Adil lets himself into the surgery and is surprised to find his sister there. She seems equally surprised to see him [since in this practice all patients are kept anonymous from the doctors until they come face to face. Chris]. He tries to suggest he should see another doctor, but she sharply tells him to sit down: she has nine minutes and thirty seconds of the appointment left before she has to kick him out, and doesn't intend to waste it. She then gets out of him the reason for his 'terrible state': he doesn't know what he is going to do, because there is no way the hotel's going to be ready. He starts to panic, and she gets him to take deep breaths, telling him not to worry; she's here now. Affectionately, she says, 'You don't change, do you, little brother.'

When Alan tells Usha he has put Rob in touch with another vicar and he won't come back, she clearly hasn't forgiven him for whatever he has done wrong; she just wants to talk about it later, and whatever Alan says she refuses to engage, instead ordering him to go and lock up while she waits for him in the car, and to hurry up. No sooner has he gone to do as he's been told than Rob materialises beside her claiming that he just wanted to apologise for any sort of misunderstanding. She makes it clear there was no misunderstanding, but he keeps to his urbane persona, saying that it's a shame Alan can't be his vicar but he would like to think he's his friend. Would he, asks Usha icily. And her too, of course, if that's possible, adds Rob. Thus goaded, Usha lets rip as he must have known she would. Alan may feel duty-bound to listen to his garbage, but she is not. She knows what he is up to, trying to use the church to wheedle his way back into the community, no doubt in an attempt to terrorise Helen. Rob can see why she'd think that, but asserts that it's simply not true. Did Alan explain he is ill? Yes, he did, and does Rob know what? Usha couldn't care less. Having cancer doesn't mean they are obliged to forget what he did. He bitterly says that's up to her, but she isn't finished: it doesn't mean they have to put up with his nonsense, either. So why doesn't he slither back under the rock that he came from? Otherwise she, for one, will have no qualms reminding everyone what a nasty piece of work he is. That is too much for him: he's a nasty piece of work? She should take some lessons from her husband; but then, she's not exactly the traditional vicar's wife. She's not even Christian. As if you are, hisses Usha, causing him to say that in that case, she ought to watch her mouth: he might not be inclined to turn the other cheek.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 8th October, 2023

Usha sets out to provoke, while Lynda sets out to make amends.

Characters: Alan, Usha, Lynda, Pat, Emma, Kenton
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Jess Bunch
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Alan wants to leave for church early because he needs to discuss something about the music with Jakob; someone wants some Status Quo at a funeral on Tuesday, which Jakob feels he can't play on the organ. Alan is going to suggest just playing a CD, and Usha snidely wishes that all his problems were as simple as that. When he is not provoked by this, but merely grunts, she pointedly asks whether he is expecting Mr Titchener to turn up to the service; he sincerely hopes not. He has made it very clear how sensitive this all is. She asks when he is passing Rob on to the Reverend Berry, and he tells her on Wednesday evening; good, she replies, then he can be shot of him. Alan points out that he can't just wash his hands; she informs him crossly that Rob is playing him, but he makes no reply to this, merely saying that he is off.

After church Lynda tells Pat it was nice to see her there, while Alan is a little awkward in her presence; she explains that she is driving Peggy today. She is glad to see Lynda, because she wants to thank her about being invited to Grey Gables' black tie ball; Alan chimes in to say that he should thank her too, though Lynda disclaims and says that Adil and Oliver are responsible. Lynda tells them the arrangements are going splendidly and gives a brief rundown of what they can expect on arrival: champagne, canapés, and lounge piano classics played by Kiki Pratchett, followed by a sumptuous seafood buffet [pronounced as if by Inspector Clouseau. Chris] and dancing accompanied by a top-class show-band. If they are thinking it's all a bit 'élitist', anyone who doesn't receive an invitation and can't afford a ticket will be welcome free at the bonfire and fireworks display in the country park; Roy is in charge of that, having rather usurped the bonfire committee [sic]. Now she must go and change for lunch at The Bull with Robert. Pat now wants a word with Alan about the discussion group on Friday about refugees: is it open to all? He reassures her that it is; she then asks whether he and Usha are free on Wednesday evening, when she and Tony will have a Hungarian refugee and his wife to dinner; Miklós might give him some fascinating insights. He regretfully has to refuse because, as he says, he has a meeting that evening.

While Robert parks the car, Lynda orders for him from Emma: pâté [again, in fluent Clouseau. Gus] followed by lamb. She suggests that Ed and Emma might enjoy showing off their dancing at the ball, but Emma feels that aside from the money she would be too embarrassed after not getting an interview for that job: being at Grey Gables would be salt in the wound. Lynda suggests that she should look at it as an opportunity: wear a magnificent dress (Emma snorts) and turn every head, like Eliza Doolittle at Ascot. Emma laughs indulgently and mentions being like a fairytale: it's a nice idea but it's so expensive. There's just no way.

Pat is covering the shop while Anya has her lunch-break, and serves Usha, who has come to get something for lunch. She asks if Alan is all right, since he didn't seem quite himself earlier; Usha awkwardly makes excuses about his busy life, and Pat muses that he could do with some downtime and feels it's a shame he can't make it on Wednesday when she invited him to dinner. Usha quite gratuitously invents him always spending Wednesday evenings writing sermons; when Pat says that's strange because he said he had a meeting, Usha stammers, falls silent and then asks about payment by card.

The ball has seriously annoyed Kenton because it, and its attendant bonfire and fireworks, will take away all The Bull's custom on bonfire night, and to add insult to injury he and Jolene have been sent 'VIP invitations' for the event. If Adil Shah thinks he can buy Kenton and Jolene with a glass of bubbly – 'and a bossa nova?' suggests Emma – he is very, very wrong. Emma is shocked: does he mean they're not going? The indignant Kenton apparently wouldn't be dragged there by a team of wild horses, though Emma thinks it seems a shame to miss out on such a big do. He offers the invitation to her, for her and Ed. Emma isn't happy with the idea at first, but Kenton persuades her that she can represent The Bull, and when she delightedly accepts, tells her to drink all their booze and have a wonderful time. She exclaims that it is like a fairy tale: 'I shall go to the ball!'

Alan can't understand why Usha told Pat the lie about sermons: why not just tell the truth, that he had a meeting? As though he were being utterly obtuse, she blames it on the meeting being with Rob Titchener, and when Alan points out that Pat wasn't to know that, defensively explains that she just panicked and said the first thing that came to mind. anyway it just goes to prove what she's been saying: wherever he goes, that man causes nothing but trouble! Alan knows it's not easy, and he has to admit he felt quite awkward when he saw Pat in the congregation. Usha just doesn't believe Rob is sincere with this baptism business; Alan knows that she thinks it's another way for Rob to get at Helen, but he can't see how that would work. Usha wonders who knows what goes on in that twisted mind of his; the point is, now they are having to lie to their friends because of him. Alan objects that he didn't lie; Usha ignores that and instead tells him to look at the stress it's causing him. She really thinks he should walk away, she tells him emphatically; he emphasises that he can't because he has given his word, and the man's dying. Usha retorts that he is using that to manipulate Alan, who rather hopelessly exclaims that he can't just turn his back on someone in such a desperate situation, no matter what others think of him. He adduces the biblical story of Zacchaeus the tax-collector, and Usha scornfully expects that he's going to tell her that Jesus forgave him, isn't he. Yes, says Alan, and surely the message is clear: Alan has to follow that example. All Usha can say is, Jesus didn't have to live in Ambridge. Alan is shocked, but she asks where Helen and her family are in all this? Don't they deserve as much consideration? Miserably, Alan admits that of course they do, but they haven't come to him for help. Usha can't believe he is privileging a known abuser over a completely innocent family. He protests that he's not; she asserts that he is, and asks whether if he felt all right about it he would be keeping it a secret. All he can say is that it's a difficult situation; She triumphantly tells him it could have been avoided completely if he'd just said he couldn't help Rob. And now it's affecting their day-to-day life. Alan knows she is having trouble seeing it from his professional perspective, but can't she see it from her own? In her time she's defended some pretty unsavoury characters, but an accused person is innocent until proven guilty, and deserves the best defence possible: isn't that right? When she replies that it's not the same, he asks her why not, and she tells him that Rob Titchener is guilty as hell. He thinks that if that's true it's all the more reason to bring him to God. She sighs in exasperation and loudly wants to know how he can be so naive: this has nothing to to with God! He is taken aback, and replies equally loudly that everything is to do with God, but she ignores that statement of belief, telling him heatedly that he is risking their standing in this community just so he can play out some saviour fantasy. After a pause, Alan asks flatly whether that is what she thinks; when she fires back 'isn't it?', he tells her very carefully and evenly that he thinks this conversation is closed.

As Lynda pays her bill she says she has added ten per cent for the tip; Emma thanks her very much and says that's very generous. [I thought that was the low end of a standard 10-15%. Chris.] She asks how Emma's English course is going, and Emma replies she is loving it: they are reading Of Mice and Men, and Lynda remarks that's quite a piece of work, isn't it; Emma says that Curley is quite a piece of work and Lynda agrees quite as if she had read the novella, then asks about the other set texts: these are a book of unspecified poetry, and Great Expectations. Lynda coos that is a classic, and quotes a phrase or two; Emma tells her not to spoil it because they haven't got to the end yet. Kenton comes over and in a barbed way hopes she had a good meal, telling her to make the most of it: they might not be trading for much longer. When she asks for explanation, he peevishly catastrophises about losing big earners. Lynda is sorry, she doesn't follow; he is obliged to explain that he is talking about bonfire night. The Bull should be heaving, but thanks to Grey Gables, it's going to be a wasteland. Lynda is mortified: that just hadn't occurred to her. He is not blaming her, he says [though clearly he is or why would he mention it? Chris]; she tells him the bonfire is Roy's department, but she wonders if it might be possible to involve The Bull in some way: perhaps they could provide a beer tent? Emma pipes up to say that would be good, and Kenton opines that although it wouldn't cover all their lost earnings it might help a bit; but would they go for it? Lynda tells him that Adil's very keen to maintain good relations with the local businesses: if they present him with a strong proposal she doesn't see why not. Something clicks with Emma: triumphantly, she proclaims that Lynda is the fairy godmother.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 9th October, 2023

Will gets a punch on the nose; Adil does not.

Characters: Susan, Eddie, Lynda, Adil, Kenton, Emma, William
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Jess Bunch
Editor: Jeremy Howe

As Susan is about to leave for work Eddie rings her claiming that he wants to do her a favour; this phrase instantly sets red flags flying but he explains that having heard that one of the things she is trying to do for her 'six at sixty' is conquer her fear of the spooky, he wants to offer her the opportunity to be a guinea-pig on his Halloween walk in Leader's Wood. She is doubtful, but when he assures her that it's not that scary, basically just a walk in a dark wood, she agrees to do it.

At Grey Gables Lynda and Kenton have come to pitch their idea for the bonfire refreshments to Adil, who is extremely busy and very unreceptive. He makes it clear that the bonfire is not Lynda's department but Roy's, and also that Kenton's problems are not his to fix. When the words 'beer tent' are uttered he repeats them incredulously, asking whether Lynda is out of her mind: they are relaunching Grey Gables as a style-forward radical departure in hospitality and she wants to sully it with a squalid gazebo that wouldn't look out of place at a ploughing contest? Kenton is deeply offended, as is Lynda; Adil goes on to tell her that not only is it vastly exceeding her remit, it makes him wonder whether she is really the right person to be organising their black tie ball. As she draws her breath in sharply with shock and exclaims his name loudly, he continues, questioning whether if her understanding of the new Grey Gables is so poor ... Kenton interrupts to say this was a mistake and lead Lynda out.

Trying to persuade Emma to come with her on the walk, Susan reminds her that she used to be frightened of ghosts, but Emma informs her that she grew out of it a long time ago. When Kenton comes over she wants to know how he got on at Grey Gables, but he tells her not to ask: Adil Shah is turning out to be one massive... He stops himself, but adds 'and what poor Lynda must be thinking.' No beer tent. Emma tries to cheer him up, to no avail, and he apologises for interrupting. Susan takes the subject back to Eddie wanting her to try out his Halloween walk; Kenton expresses interest. Susan thought Emma might like come along and help her conquer her fear too. Except she hasn't got one, explains Emma, but she knows who has: Tracy. Unfortunately Susan tried her first, but she turned the opportunity down flat. After a little pleading, Emma agrees; Kenton asks if it is all in aid of Susan's big birthday and asks what else she is planning to do; from hints he has dropped, Susan thinks there's a chance Neil may have got her a ride in a helicopter. Emma expresses astonishment. Just as Kenton starts to tell them about a couple of chopper rides he had in the merchant navy, he breaks off; Emma says 'Hello, Adil. What can I get you?' Embarrassed, Adil says that he is there to speak with Kenton, to which Kenton unhelpfully replies, 'Here I am.' Sensitively, Susan says she must go and open the Post Office, and Emma, following her lead, goes away to clear table nine, saying she will leave them to it. Icily, Kenton expresses his surprise at seeing Adil in such a squalid place; Adil says he should never have used that word, and Kenton agrees that no, he shouldn't. Adil manages eventually to calm Kenton's anger, mostly by asking him to 'unpack the concept' of a beer-tent. he explains that the words 'beer tent' made him think of an ex-army marquee with straw on the floor and plastic mugs; might they instead conceive a stylish, airy space with the focus on local craft ales and other premium beverages? A softened Kenton is sure they could. Adil suggests perhaps they could sit down with Roy and work out the proposition between them. He's sure they can find a way forward. Kenton thanks him, but mentions that there is something else. Does he realise how much he hurt Lynda? For all her funny ways, she is an absolute treasure; he doesn't need to remind Adil what she went through at his hotel. [Which wasn't his then, and actually isn't now either. Chris] Adil should consider himself lucky she's willing to have anything to do with the place at all. Adil does. She didn't deserve that treatment, Kenton adds.

There is an owl hooting as Eddie starts his spiel, and Susan gasps in fright. Emma is matter-of-fact about it all, but Eddie uses his special scary voice and Susan does get wound up and jittery. He also calls Emma to order, telling her that she has to get into the spirit of it; she apologises. When he talks about the witch transforming herself on the night of the waning crescent, and there being a waning crescent tonight, Susan asks him to give it a rest, but he protests that he's got to give her the full experience; she tells him it's creepy enough out there in the dark without him doing that, before shrieking again as the owl hoots once more. Susan is alarmed by a distant howl, but Emma says it sounded like a dog, then tells Eddie to stop messing about. All injured innocence, he asks what she means: he's not a ventriloquist. Neither Susan nor Emma likes it, and they want to go home; this was a terrible idea. The final straw comes when a ghostly figure leaps out and wants to know who enters his domain; Emma punches it, and a very corporeal voice says 'Ow! That hurt!' It's Will, and he wants to know what she did that for.

Late in the evening Adil interrupts Lynda's reading to apologise for not having spoken with her earlier; he's only just got away, and he wanted to do this face to face. She's shocked that he has only just finished work, and tells him gently to sit down. He says ruefully that the closer they get to the opening date the greater the pressure he is under, as he has already said to Kenton, but that doesn't excuse how he behaved at their meeting. He is so sorry. She has to admit she was surprised, and if she is honest a little wounded. The ball is very important to her, she continues, while he inserts gentle words of agreement and of apology whenever she pauses. She can assure him that she is taking it very seriously; he truly appreciates it, especially given her difficult history with Grey Gables, he tells her, and she explains that's why she's doing it, really: to in some way lay the ghosts of the past [sic]. Adil thinks that is very brave of her. She further explains that the hotel is rebuilding and relaunching itself, rather as she had to; Adil knows how hard that can be. Can she forgive him for being such an idiot? Of course she can. However, she is a little concerned about him: even when they've had their differences he has always been scrupulously courteous, so to hear that ('tirade?' suggests Adil) outburst made her certain that he must be under considerable strain. he resolves that from now on he will face his challenges with a new motto: 'Be More Snell'.

Susan is indignantly accusing Eddie of having deceived her by saying it would just be a walk in the woods; he protests that he couldn't tell her all the details because it would have spoilt the surprise. Susan claims she nearly had a heart attack, and adds that it's lucky Will's nose isn't broken; Will is by no means sure that it isn't. Eddie agrees that they need to iron out the health and safety of it; Will feels aggrieved and adds 'and the rest', and wants to know what Emma was thinking, whilst Emma wants to know what he was thinking charging out of the woods like that dressed in – what is that anyway? Clarrie's old housecoat, Eddie tells her with a chuckle. Still it does prove Emma's contention that she's not afraid of ghosts. Susan really doesn't appreciate being tricked like this, but Eddie is unrepentant: what does she mean, tricked? She's overcome her fears, hasn't she? And helped him and William fine-tune William's act. William however is out: a little bit of fun, Eddie said. He never told him he was at risk of attack! He can find himself another witch.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 10th October, 2023

Thermidor, tandem and termagant.

Characters: Neil, Susan, Usha, Alan, Emma, Helen, Pat
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Jess Bunch
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The birthday girl is brought breakfast in bed by Neil, as well as her cards, which she proceeds to open; she has a nice card from Jim, but the next thing she opens is an invitation to Rob Titchener's baptism. She immediately reaches for her phone: Pat needs to know about this.

A quiet working day is going on at the vicarage; Usha brings coffee to Alan, tells him that she hates how things have been for the last couple of days and also that she didn't mean what she said about him. That was her anger going in the wrong direction, and the last thing she wants to do is add to his burden, so she's sorry. He reciprocates: he's sorry his actions are causing her such unhappiness. They work their way towards agreement; Usha wouldn't have made the same decision as Alan, but she understands that he has to be guided by his principles, which sort of goes with the territory, doesn't it. So she just wanted him to know that she's on his side, but not in a namby-pamby loyal wifey way. Alan can't help laughing at the idea of any of those words applying to her. She adds that she doesn't trust that man as far as she could throw him, so she is going to do everything she can to protect Alan. He is touched and grateful.

In the shop, Susan is telling Emma that it was such a shop and her dad was mortified he gave it to her; after last night she could have done without it. She hopes Will isn't too bruised from Emma's right hook. Emma chimes in as Chorus to each remark, than suggests that having told Pat, Susan has done her duty and should forget all about it. Susan is having a lovely day; after breakfast in bed she had a long bath and gave herself a facial. She can't wait for the meal tonight when everyone comes round at seven-thirty, and Emma is coming at six to help Neil with the cooking. Neil then comes in and tells them he has the lobster in the car, with almost all the ingredients for the fish pie [sic] except fresh tarragon; he hoped the village shop might have some. They haven't, and he hasn't been able to find it anywhere; he needs it for the thermidor sauce. Susan suggests there is some dried in a jar at home, and when he ruefully tells them he wanted to do it properly, says she is just touched he went to so much trouble. He leaves just as Usha arrives, to be greeted in a friendly way by Emma, also on her way out. Susan, however, gives Usha a frosty reception, speaking to her only about business, in response to direct questions and in as few words as possible, though she is reasonably chatty with Helen when she makes a delivery from Bridge Farm. Usha asks Susan if something is wrong, but instead of telling her, Susan ignores the question. Daunted, Usha pays and leaves; Helen asks Susan what all that was about. Surprised that she doesn't know, Susan tells her she needs to prepare herself.

When Usha gets back to the vicarage Alan is about to go to a deathbed, and before he leaves she tells him she has just had an odd encounter in the shop: as if she had offended Susan in some way, though she can't think how. Alan is sure it is absolutely nothing: Usha must know how Susan is when she's stressed out. This pleasant thought vanishes as the doorbell is repeatedly rung and he opens the door to Pat, who is in a furious temper. She declines Usha's invitation to come in, and when Alan asks if everything is all right tells him that it most definitely is not. She shows them Susan's copy of the invitation; Susan told Pat she could have it, and is one of many recipients, it seems. [Probably, but how does Pat know? Chris.] At first reading Usha doesn't see why Pat is angry with them, though this is just Rob's style; Alan however has spotted the footnote, which reads 'With much gratitude to the Reverend Alan and Mrs Usha Franks for their support.' Before Usha can deny having supported him Pat launches into denunciation; how could they? Knowing everything that man did to Helen? Unfortunately Alan is unable to deny having supported Rob, which Pat finds unbelievable, and what's more, unforgivable. Neither of them are ever to come near her family again, do they hear her? They are done with them. In vain Alan tries to get her to listen to him or let him explain; she rushes off again, and Usha advises him to let her go. He doesn't believe it: this is so much worse than he imagined. Usha was absolutely right. She assures him she takes no pleasure in that. Alan is puzzled, though: Usha didn't support Rob, so why would he write that? She feels that it's obvious: for revenge. He wanted to get back at her, and he clearly doesn't mind if that hurts Alan too.

What's Kenton doing with tarragon in the freezer anyway? is what Susan wants to know; Emma informs her it is an ingredient for a Tarragon Collins cocktail. Neil tells them about the lobster having escaped and gone to ground beside the fridge while he was bringing in the rest of the shopping from the car, so that he had to look all over for it. He asks whether Susan has got a minute, because before everyone arrives he wants to give her her big present; Susan asks if it's the one the poem was about and he says it might be. She recites the 'poem' to Emma: 'You are my flight of fancy, my transport of delight, and as you are my favourite girl, I'd like to take you for a whirl; all will be revealed tonight.' Emma congratulates Neil: that's so clever. Neil asks Susan to come outside, where he shows her a tandem bicycle. She conceals her disappointment remarkably well, and he tells her he saw 'riding a tandem' on her list of things she hadn't done, and now she and he together can put that right. However, he knows her well enough to read between the lines, and asks whether she was expecting something else; a helicopter-ride, maybe. She denies it, and he feigns disappointment: that's a shame, because they've all clubbed together and got her one of those as well. She is ecstatic: they've given her the best birthday ever!

At Bridge Farm, Helen invites Alan in, to Pat's shock. He thanks her and says he was going to call on her too; she and Pat both deserve an explanation. Pat immediately launches into him again, accusing him of having sided with That Man against them. He tells her that he really doesn't see it like that, but she can't see what there can possibly be to explain; Helen, however, wants to hear what Alan has to say. Surely they can give him a few minutes. Pat unwillingly tells him to go on then: she's listening. He tells her that what is on the invitation gives a partial and not entirely accurate picture of Rob's christening. But he is going to baptise him, says Pat accusingly. No, explains Alan, he isn't: Rob asked him to but he refused to. A colleague of his will be performing the service. Pat at once accuses him of having facilitated it: he surely can't believe Rob has suddenly found God! Alan has to hope that he has; that's not unknown when people are faced with their own mortality. Pat tells him to come on; it's just another of Rob's mind games! In a reasonable voice Alan points out that they can't know that, and at this point Helen speaks up: so what if it is? Pat is taken aback and wants to know what she means, and Helen expands on what she said: so what if he's baptised? If he's really trying to atone for his sins then good for him. And if he isn't, is it hurting anyone? Pat is staggered, and Helen continues. He can try to say sorry any way he wants; it's up to them whether they believe him or not. Alan cuts in to say that regardless of the rights or wrongs there is one point he really needs them to understand: Usha has had nothing to do with this. Quite the opposite in fact: she advised him very strongly not to get involved. Pat interjects in a voice full of venom that it's a shame he didn't listen to her, instead of betraying his friends. Helen tries to call her to order: surely Pat must know what Rob is doing? Using Alan's decision against him. Alan ruefully admits that's certainly Usha's take on it. Helen has noticed the note at the bottom: he's just stirring, she tells Pat, he knows it will get people worked up. Pat however doesn't care that she is being manipulated: he certainly succeeded there, she avers, almost with triumph in her voice; she doesn't understand how Helen can be so calm about the whole thing. He can only hurt her if she lets him, Helen tells her, and she will not let him. And now she's sorry, she needs to get home; Lee has got to call the girls [and can't do it without her there to hold his hand? Chris]. Alan thanks her for her understanding, and she leaves, saying that as far as she is concerned they [Pat and Alan, or possibly Alan and Usha? 'they' could mean either in this context. Chris] are just two more pawns in his game. She and Pat will talk later. This somewhat takes the wind out of Pat's sails, but she recovers enough to attack Alan again the moment the door closes behind Helen: he is not to think he has got away with it, not for one minute. Helen might be happy to give him a free ride [sic], but Pat certainly isn't. Nor is the rest of the family; they are furious with him. Mildly, Alan tells her that is of course their right. Peggy especially, adds Pat ominously: she's threatening not to go to church on Sunday. Still mildly, Alan remarks that would be a great shame. Triumphantly Pat adds that it's not just their family; much of the village will feel the same. ('I see,' murmurs Alan.) Helen may be able to forgive him, but Pat can't.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 11th October, 2023

Eddie is helpful; Ian most decidedly is not.

Characters: Eddie, Oliver, George, Ian, Adil
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Jess Bunch
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The idea of Rob Titchener getting christened seems daft to Eddie, while Oliver feels that the prospect seems rather unlikely. And what on earth's the vicar doing getting involved in that, Eddie wants to know; Clarrie and Susan are really upset with him, and Helen's family must be raging about it. Oliver received an invitation but certainly isn't going to go. He is surprised at Alan's involvement, and especially Usha's; Eddie agrees that she doesn't have any time for the bloke. Oliver suspects there is more to this business than meets the eye: there usually is where that wretched specimen is concerned. They agree that they are not going to let it bother them, in Oliver's case because he is rather looking forward to work today; after a somewhat challenging period he thinks they might have turned a corner. George then comes in wanting Eddie to help him move his basketball hoop [which the Grundys call a net. Chris] over to 1, The Green; Eddie wants to finish his breakfast. George isn't working today, but William is at the shoot running the game-cart so Eddie volunteered. Oliver asks after the injury Will got from Emma and is told by Eddie that his pride is hurt, though George adds that you should see his nose. Will bears Emma no grudge but is teed off with Eddie for organising the walk. George wants to get on, but Eddie has news for him: before that, he will be helping Eddie with the turkeys first, and then they will check on the tups for Edward; George protests that Eddie never said that and Eddie tells him that's farm life, always something to do, and Eddie wouldn't have it any other way.

Oliver is pleased with how reception at Grey Gables is shaping up; Ian sounds thoroughly unconvinced about 'removing the hierarchy between guest and staff' but is polite to Oliver. Ian does however want a word with Adil. When Adil appears, he has forgotten that he had arranged a progress meeting with Oliver, which he tries to reschedule for the afternoon; unfortunately that isn't possible for Oliver. Ian then intervenes, saying that he has something urgent to tell them both; the kitchen fitters want to sign off on the job and he reckons it's not fit for purpose. Adil finds that very hard to believe, and Oliver asks what's wrong with it. Ian can't really explain, but if they come with him now he can show them. Adil can't do 'now' because of a Zoom call, but will be free in about an hour; that won't work for Oliver, who has to see his accountant, but Adil is sure he and Ian can smooth it out between them. Infuriated, Ian exclaims that it is not something that can be 'smoothed out'. Adil goes to his Zoom call, saying he will let Ian know when he is available.

Moving the basketball hoop has been achieved, and George immediately tries, and fails, to show off his prowess. He then complains that because they couldn't get his gaming-chair upstairs to his room he has to compete with his father and sister for the use of the television downstairs in spite of having his own in his room, and what's worse, the scratching noise made by Lola the guinea-pig distracts him if he is trying to concentrate. Eddie is disappointed: this move was all George's idea and here he is, already complaining about it. He suggests that Lola's probably just a bit bored, and George should try playing with her a bit. George rejects that idea and suggests she'd make a good snack for Kai, but agrees that he wouldn't actually feed her to him. Eddie now turns out to have a friend called Rodent Ronnie who might be able to help – his real name is Arthur but he once took a rat to school – so Eddie will see if he has any tips. George tries to call him off, but Eddie is now interested.

Ian is now enumerating everything that is wrong with the kitchen but that he has not noticed until the point of completion: for a start, the insistence on all the brigade facing the dining-room. Yes, Adil informs him, that is part of the concept. Ian points out that as a result, the stove's too far from the pass, and the grease-trap is miles away, and the sinks are in completely the wrong place. Adil patiently says that this is how it was designed, and Ian informs him that what he is saying is that it has been designed badly. Adil is sorry, but it's far too late to change it now. Ian angrily asks whether the person they used had any experience with professional kitchens, and when Adil is sure she did asks whether perhaps she just got carried away with what Adil calls 'culinary theatre'. Adil, who is starting to be a trifle ruffled, tells him that this layout may not suit his more traditional approach, but he won't be working here. Ian retorts crossly that it has nothing to do with being traditional, and Adil at once insists that he is sure the team will manage perfectly well. Ian explodes indignantly that they won't: anyone trying to work in this kitchen is heading for a health and safety disaster, and he hasn't even started on pest control, or how difficult it's going to be to clean under the units! Adil starts to thank him for his input, but is over-ridden by Ian informing his that he is going to tell the contractors to strip it all out and start again. Adil heatedly tells him he can't do that, he forbids it; Ian wants to know what the point of having him there if he isn't going to be taken seriously. He rushes off to find the foreman, leaving Adil spluttering in his wake.

It seems that Eddie's advice has born fruit: George is playing with Lola when Eddie comes back bearing a cardboard box, and takes the piss rotten about George taking his advice. As they are about to open the box Neil and Susan go past on the tandem, ringing its bell as they go, which pleases Eddie; George comments they are a bit wobbly. Eddie starts singing 'Daisy, Daisy' and says it is dead romantic. George wants to know what is in the box, and Eddie says that it is from Rodent Ronnie, because what he reckons they need to stop Lola from being bored and scratching is company. So he has brought a neutered male who will be safe to keep in with Lola. George comment that the animal is vast, which Eddie describes as 'carrying a bit of timber'. Eddie wants to call him Rico, as in the Barry Manilow song, which George begs him not to sing. George had only just got his head round one guinea-pig, and now they've got two.

Adil wants to know what on earth is going on, and Ian informs him that the contractors are leaving: they have had enough. When he explained all the kitchen problems to them they threw a fit; Adil is not surprised. They said this was just the latest in a long string of short-notice changes; apparently, says Ian gleefully, they've been having to re-do stuff for weeks. Adil furiously tries to get a word in, but Ian talks louder. All over the hotel, he imparts with satisfaction, so they have packed up their tools and scarpered. Adil reminds him that he told him not to interfere and is out-shouted again: Ian claims he wasn't interfering, he was doing his job, and if Adil had been doing his job properly it wouldn't have got to the point where this was the last straw. Adil describes this as sabotage, and Ian says not by him, and he has to go, which he is about to do as Oliver comes to ask where the builders are going. He tells Oliver he had better ask Adil, and does go; when asked, Adil doesn't know where to begin. Oliver asks for a start, why they are marching off site, and Adil is afraid Ian tried to take matters into his own hands over the alleged kitchen problems, and despite Adil's explicit instructions went and harangued the contractors. He obviously handled them very badly, with the result that they have now walked off the job. Oliver says that they can't; Grey Gables is due to open. Adil knows; so that's another thing he has to sort out, as if he didn't have enough to do. Oliver unhelpfully and portentously says this is little short of a disaster.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 12th October, 2023

A rapprochement, the placements, and what looks very much like a flit au clair de lune.

Characters: George, Emma, Helen, Lynda, Adil
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Jess Bunch
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Barging into the tea-room, George demands a coffee, slightly ruffling Emma, whom he then addresses as Mother Dearest as he adds a cinnamon bun to his request; they are not yet open, but she will serve him as long as he pays. She asks how things are at 1, The Green and he complains that Eddie has infested the place with Rodents, well, another guinea-pig, which Emma thinks is sweet; George tells her that Rico, don't ask, hasn't stopped squeaking since he arrived. Apart from that, he guesses it's all right. Emma reckons if that's the worst he has to complain about things can't be that bad. He admits it's OK, and she is really pleased, though she has been missing him; he admits there are bits he misses to, and she tells him he must come over for tea soon but maybe he was right: him moving out has made things better between them all. She then tells him her good news about having been given Kenton's invitation to the ball; she's going to have to go round the charity shops for a ball-gown. She has offered to give Lynda a hand with the table-setting; it seems the least she can do. And has he heard the news about Rob Titchener? Yes, Tom has been bending his ear ever since he got in. Emma can't believe his cheek sending out invitations and reckons the church will be empty, but George isn't so sure: there's a few kids are thinking of going to see the famous psycho. Tilly Button reckons it's like a true crime podcast happening in her own backyard. Emma feels that if that's what Tilly thinks, she's not sure she wants George hanging around her. [I imagine Tilly feels the same: she is minimum 21 and possibly a lot older, since in February 2011 she and her friend Ellie Collins were in the same class at school as Phoebe, who was born in 1998; Tilly is likely to find adolescent yokel George a complete bore. Chris.] There's no chance George is planning to go, though: he wants no more contact with that weirdo. Helen now rushes in to tell Emma that her mum and dad took a tumble off the tandem on the cobbled bit of the yard; they're fine and Clarrie is making Susan a cup of tea. George at once offers to take some tea to her: he knew that bike was going to be a load of bother. His offer is refused by Emma [possibly on the grounds that it is redundant. Chris].

Lynda is telling Adil her progress on the ball, at some length; he really doesn't seem that interested and, when she asks if he is OK, tells her about the problem with the builders. She is gratifyingly shocked and sympathises that is terrible – in which she is unlike anyone at the hotel, or the partners either, he comments. Everybody seems to be on his case at the moment: can't they see that he's doing his best? Lynda observes that he does look under a lot of strain, and asks whether he has thought of taking a little time away? [As he did last weekend, from Friday morning until Monday. Chris.] He protests that there is just far too much to do, and when she goes on to mention the coast or a spa town says that she might as well be suggesting a trip to Mars. He appreciates her concern but it's impossible.

As Helen tells Emma, Susan has been fine all morning and working away as if nothing had happened; Emma is grateful for being kept informed. She won't be alone in the tea-room for much longer, since Fallon is on her way in for the lunch-time rush; she has been at home researching alcohol licences, which Tom and Natasha feel is something they need. Helen asks how it is all affecting Emma and is told it hasn't made that much difference to her, though Fallon has found it a bit of a wrench. Emma now plucks up courage to ask about this business with Rob: how is Helen feeling? Helen honestly doesn't care. Emma is aware that what with George and everything, things have been strained between them, but they have been close and if Helen needs anything Emma is there for her. Helen is grateful, but honestly, she's over it: whatever he does she's not going to let it affect her; Emma thinks she sounds very strong. George comes in at this point with some tomatoes and salad leaves, and Helen asks whether he will be free to help her deep-clean the fridges later; he is hesitant but agrees he is up for it if Tom can spare him.

When Emma goes to Ambridge Hall to help Lynda with the 'plass mon' [meaning the seating plan. For a seafood buffet. Chris] it becomes clear that Emma knows more about who is at odds with whom among the 'VIPs' than Lynda does; then Monty starts making a fuss and Lynda has to take him for a walk to relieve himself, leaving Emma to sort it all out for her.

George turns up five minutes late to help Helen, but she doesn't make a fuss about it, choosing instead to flatter him on a video he has made about the dairy calves, and ask whether any other farms have taken up his work. He tells her they haven't but it's early days yet, and he has had a good chat with Terry Hodge.

As Emma is sorting out the seating plans a lot of banging on the stairs heralds the arrival of Adil, who is surprised to see her: he thought the house was empty when he saw Lynda taking Monty out. Emma offers to give him a hand with his suitcases, one at least of which she exclaims is heavy; he explains that he is going away for a short break and likes to be prepared for all eventualities. He adds that since he's driving he doesn't have to worry about weight restrictions; she therefore assumes he is staying in Britain. She has a quick boast about taking a GCSE to improve her career prospects, about which Adil is baffled but polite; when she says brightly that one day she might be running Grey Gables he mutters that she'd probably make a better job of it, but doesn't repeat that when she asks what he said.

Work on the fridges is going well, and Helen chats inconsequentially to George while they do it; she tells him that it can be quite tricky bringing up boys when they get older, with so many influences especially on line. She informs him that until you have children yourself it's impossible to understand how it makes you feel: you'd do anything to protect them, and behave in ways that might seem, well, extreme from the outside. Not being entirely stupid, George realises that she is probably talking about the way she attacked him. She further tells him that some of the things she's been through in the past, she's not going to go into details – 'With Jack's dad?' he ventures, and she agrees; those experiences have made her even more determined to keep them safe and to make sure they don't grow up like him. George, abashed, tells her that he didn't realise what Rob is really like, and she replies that it took her a long time, too. Anyway, she knows there will come a time when they no longer need her, but by then she's determined they will know the right way to behave. [She's not planning to show them by example, then. Chris.] To women, and to everyone. George assures her they are good kids. She agrees that they are, adding that she hopes he doesn't mind her saying that she thinks he is starting to get it too. He mumbles that he is trying, and she tells him that's great, because he's got a lot to offer: he's such a useful team member at Bridge Farm, and obviously has a talent for video-making, when it's used appropriately; he mutters that was out of order and he just got carried away. That he took it down seems to her to be what was needed, and he tells her that he's sorry; she thanks him, then gets them back to the job in hand.

Lynda gets back with a happier Monty, and is delighted by Emma's work on the seating; Emma tells her that she missed Adil while she was out, and that he said he was going for a weekend away. Lynda is delighted that he has taken her advice: a mini-break is just what he needs.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 13th October, 2023

Susan makes her feelings clear; so does someone else.

Characters: Eddie, Will, Neil, Susan, Alan, George
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Jess Bunch
Editor: Jeremy Howe

On their way home after one of Eddie's jobs, Will and Eddie speak of having finished the landscaping and chuffed the client; Eddie suggests that Will might get long-term work from her looking after her garden if he can remember that her name is not Mrs Wotsit but Mrs Watkins. Will agrees that he could definitely use a few more clients now that he is no longer getting the rent from Number 1. It being only just on five, Will has time before fetching Poppy from a party in Glebelands to have a pint on Eddie in The Bull. He assumes Eddie is trying to change his mind about his refusal to play a witch on the woodland walk, an accusation Eddie repudiates scornfully but unconvincingly. Eddie then mentions Ed being dragged round the charity shops looking for a tux, and that Emma says Adil has gone off on holiday: very relaxed so close to the opening. They agree that he has probably gone somewhere flash, but all Will plans to do at the weekend is sort the house out. Eddie asks after the guinea-pigs; as Will is saying that Poppy thinks they're both adorable he suddenly shouts to Eddie to look out. Tyres squeal and Eddie shouts 'Blimey!'

Neil wants to know why Susan kept pedalling; she wants to know if he didn't see the van, and he explains that was why he was signalling. Susan bemoans the shopping all over the road, and whilst they argue Will comes up anxiously asking if they are all right; Neil says they are fine and Eddie reproachfully remarks they gave him a bit of a scare. Will helps Susan pick up the shopping; whilst they are chasing errant packages and being grateful there were no eggs, Eddie quietly asks Neil whether he is sure the tandem was a good idea. To be absolutely honest, Neil wishes he'd never got the wretched thing, but Susan was so excited he feels he's got to persevere.

A box of tea-bags has suffered during the precipitate dismount; Susan confides to Will that the tandem has turned out to be an absolute nightmare, but it was on her list, and it was such a lovely thought she can't bear to tell Neil how much she hates it. Eddie holds the tandem steady for Neil and Susan to get back on. They depart with a jaunty ring on the bell, and Eddie tells Will that if he ever thinks of getting a tandem for himself and Clarrie Will is to hit him round the head with a bit of two-bi-four.

Once home, Neil says there is not long before the discussion group, to which he feels as a churchwarden he must go; there isn't really time to cook before he has to go, but Alan has organised some snacky things and Susan will cook for him when he gets home, though she really feels she can't go. Neil is sure she shouldn't snub it because of something completely unconnected, but she says there is a connection Alan which Neil thinks unfair; Rob Titchener is problematic, but vicars have to deal with difficult people all the time. Susan is sure there have to be limits, and she's sorry, she just couldn't. If she was to support something he'd organised it would be like letting down everybody at Bridge Farm. Neil points out that she said Helen seemed OK about it, but Susan reminds him that she might be but Pat certainly isn't. He must remember that Helen went to jail because of that man. Neil realises that this is about her having gone to jail for helping Clive; Susan says that when Helen was remanded it brought it all back. It was thirty years ago, but sometimes it feels like yesterday, being locked up like that because of someone else controlling you. It's not just a horrible experience, it's the injustice too. Neil does understand why she feels so strongly; he just thinks there's only one person everyone should be angry with, and that person's not Alan. Susan however simply can't think how he could bring himself to have anything to do with that monster. Neil continues to be the voice of moderation: one thing is for sure, they don't know all the facts, and he bets it's a lot more complicated than people are making out; it's not like Alan is actually going to baptise him. It seems simple to Susan: Alan still helped Rob. Neil asking whether that isn't what you'd expect a vicar to do if someone comes to him asking to be baptised, no matter what awful things he's done in the past, doesn't get Susan to see that point of view: it's not just in the past, Rob's still playing his evil little games. In reply to 'more joy in heaven over one sinner that repenteth' she is adamant that she doesn't believe for one minute that Rob has. Neil is just grateful that they don't have to make that judgement, but he's confident Alan has taken it seriously and he bets it hasn't been easy. Anyway, he does feel he's got to go tonight; he is a churchwarden and can't start boycotting church events. Susan understands and is not stopping him, as long as he understands why she won't. Neil moves on: now they've agreed to disagree, he wants to talk about something else. The tandem. He launches into an exposition on the difficulties of riding the tandem, and when Susan wonders if he is saying they ought to give it up he starts talking about sticking to it and getting competent, or taking lessons; she interrupts to say no! She's been frightened out of her skin the whole time; if he wants to stop he doesn't have to ask twice. Neil is greatly relieved.

At 1, The Green, George is playing on his console when Eddie and Will come in [without Poppy for some reason. Chris] but pauses to say hello to his grandpa, who has just popped in to see how the guinea-pigs are getting on. When Eddie goes and has a look at Rico it becomes apparent that George has gamed right through her giving birth.

The meeting at the church is not well-attended; in fact the only two people there when it is due to start are Alan and Neil. Alan is well aware this is because of his involvement with Rob Titchener; he understands why people feel as they do about Rob Titchener, but he is shocked by the antagonism he himself is getting for trying to do the right thing: it is really getting him down. Neil makes sympathetic noises. Alan continues with his anger that poor Usha is getting dragged into it with no justification whatsoever; Neil is surprised, because it was nothing to do with her, really, is it. Alan says it's not just that: she was actively opposed to him getting involved, which Neil didn't know. Alan nearly took her advice and pulled out of Rob's spiritual journey; when Neil asks whether he really does believe in that, he says that he has to take it in good faith. [Which is now absurd: the invitations were and are an obvious trouble-making lie, so good faith has gone out of the window. Chris.] Anyway, if he did abandon him everything up to now would have been in vain. Neil agrees that you could say the damage has already been done. And if Alan were to take the easy option, continues Alan, what would that say about him as a priest? Neil assures him that he has to do what he feels is right. Alan mutters that is far from a straightforward determination, and Neil sighs and says he doesn't envy him, but whichever way he goes, Neil does know that a lot of people in the village do feel very strongly about it and it's not going to be easy. That has become very apparent, grieves Alan.

There are three pups, and Eddie will be having strong words with Rodent Ronnie when he sees him. What to call the mother (Rita is Eddie's suggestion) is the least of Will's worries: he needs to take the little'uns to the vet and check they're all right, which will be more expense. Eddie thinks that unnecessary: they look OK to him. George reckons they need to hide them before Poppy gets back from her party, but neither Will nor Eddie will hear of it; they didn't want them, but they can't just magic them away. George protests that this sucks, and it's like living in a zoo: he's beginning to think living in Little Grange wasn't so bad after all.

After he and Neil have waited half an hour Alan reckons they can lock up and go home; Neil tells him there is one silver lining, which remark he explains as Alan having got himself an unexpected evening off. He can put his feet up and watch some telly; Alan laughs that Usha will be pleased, at least. He can't remember the last time they... he stops short as he turns towards the outside of the door with an exclamation of 'Oh, good Lord!' Neil. alarmed, asks what it is; Alan tells him to look at this, on the door. Neil starts to read out the words 'Rob Titchener is a ...' and gasps in dismay. Alan says it is horrific, and Neil adds it's disgusting. Alan knows people are upset, but who on earth would do a thing like that?

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 15th October, 2023

Lee fails to get Helen's point, and Clarrie has to labour hers.

Characters: Eddie, Clarrie, Lee, Henry, Helen
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

In the village shop, Eddie and Clarrie are talking together about the rude words on the church door; Neil has done his best to scrub them off but after the service Clarrie could still see their outline. Clarrie is distressed, but Eddie seems almost pleased: plenty of people hated Rob Titchener enough to write such a thing about him. He sounds positively gloating as he speculates that whoever did it might not stop at graffiti: testing the water with damage to property, next stop verbal assault, then who knows? Maybe physical violence... Clarrie gasps unhappily; she doesn't think it's a coincidence they chose to vandalise the church after Rob sent out invites. Eddie thinks those a load of nonsense; Clarrie asks whether he doesn't think Rob is repenting then, and Eddie laughs and asks whether she does. Clarrie waxes indignant: what could Alan do? He couldn't slam the door in the man's face! Eddie loudly claims, while Clarrie tries to quiet him, that he would have said 'Rob Titchener, you can take your baptism and stick it where the sub don't shine'; Lee, who has just materialised at his elbow, then has a go at him for talking about this and tells him to mind his own business, or better yet shut up altogether. Clarrie is apologetic and Eddie can't believe his ears as Lee tells him to stop talking about what happened as if it's a bit of village gossip; Clarrie says she is sorry and they didn't think, and Lee tells them he wants to be able to bring the boys out on a Sunday morning without hearing people whispering and giggling about their mother. [Which neither Eddie nor Clarrie had done; belt up, Lee, you one-track minded twit. Chris.] Eddie loudly calls him on that: no-one was giggling. Lee doesn't care about the exact words: giggling, gossiping, whatever, this is awful, it's awful, can they imagine how this must feel for Helen? Clarrie thinks it must be devastating, and Eddie apologises, then tries to pay for Jack and Henry's sweets. As Eddie and Clarrie leave the shop, Henry tells Lee that he heard him shout at Eddie and Clarrie; Lee [inaccurately. Chris] denies that he was shouting. Lee is surprised when Henry asks whether it was about the baptism: does he know about that? Everybody knows, Henry tells Lee with a long-suffering sigh; he adds that Lee doesn't have to tell people to shut up just to protect him and Jack; Lee denies having said 'shut up', but Henry says they heard him: everyone heard. Lee apologises, and says it just annoyed him they were chattering about the graffiti like it's the latest bit of juicy news [which it is. Gus], and Henry didn't know about it but insists on being told. He is shocked and wonders who would do that. Lee doesn't know, but expects the police will find out and punish them appropriately; Henry wants to know what kind of punishment, but Lee can't tell him.

Meanwhile, Eddie and Clarrie have gone on their way, with Clarrie unhappy that Lee overheard them and Eddie commenting that of course people are guessing about a mysterious crime involving Rob Titchener and the church. Clarrie pauses to put some stickers for Poppy through the door [presumably of 1, The Green, on the opposite side of the Green from the shop and in the opposite direction from Grange Farm . Chris] on their way home; they see Susan and Neil walking and shout a greeting, with Clarrie adding it will be a blessing if they never get on the tandem again. Poppy is obsessed with guinea-pigs, according to Will; the stickers are for a scrap-book about them and she will only do her 'maths' homework if the addition and subtraction sums she is doing are changed to be in guinea-pigs. [She is ten. Addition and subtraction for prep? Chris.] Eddie suggests multiplying would be more like.

At Beechwood, Lee is putting waterproof sealant on Jack's playhouse before the weather gets bad, but Helen can't stay and chat with him: she has to pop to the farm shop before lunch, so he warns her to be aware that people are talking. Helen says 'Hi' to Henry, who is somewhere around, and Lee lowers his voice to tell her 'they' are talking about the graffiti; Henry kindly tells them that they can talk about it in front of him, since he already heard Lee shouting at Clarrie and Eddie about it. Once more, Lee denies that he shouted; he just hates their lives being turned into village gossip. Helen picks him up on that: what happened at the church has nothing to do with her. Lee disputes this, and she rounds on him: he really doesn't get it. By weighing in like that he makes it about them. She tells him to stop getting involved, and when he asks how, because they are involved, she asks Henry to go and check whether Jack is still on the tablet and ask him to come down. He says that he just wishes they would be open, but after a minatory 'Henry' does as he is ordered. Helen then tells Lee that she sometimes thinks he likes the drama. Of course people are talking about something like this! she says, her voice rising. That's why Rob does what he does. It's what he wants. But she doesn't have to react to it, not in public at least: she can make the decision not to have her energies sapped by that man, not to get dragged down by him. In a furious voice, Lee wishes he could be so Zen, and Helen crossly rejoins that it's not funny. Henry comes down to say Jack will be a couple of minutes, and Lee foolishly continues to argue with Helen, who says she just wishes both he and whoever wrote on the church had just stayed out of it. Henry tries to speak to her and is snapped at, while Lee, increasingly angry himself, tells her that lumping him in with the church vandals is great, just great, and Henry leaps to her defence, telling him to stop shouting at her: he is never to shout at Henry's mum. Lee is surprised, and Helen tells Henry that Lee wasn't shouting; Henry, who has ears in his head, firmly contends that he was. Lee, confused, asks whether he was, and Helen asserts that they were just arguing but that's OK; Lee starts apologising profusely, though to whom is unclear. Helen then wants to know what is up with Henry.

Down by the young turkeys and after a bit about George advertising them on line, Eddie offers to show Clarrie the final route for the Halloween walk before the sun goes down. As they set off he starts to talk about needing to come up with something spooky that will set them apart, now he no longer has William pretending to be the ghost of a witch. Clarrie suggests that if she helps him come up with something, he can help her collect crab-apples on the way back.

Helen is clearing up after supper when Lee comes down after putting Jack to bed and offers to help. She shows him the sample of the new cheese packaging for Grey Gables Gold, which he thinks looks amazing. Helen reckons that if this works out they can start to offer bespoke branding to other high-end hotels. As she finishes tidying, Lee starts trying to apologise yet again for what happened earlier, and she shuts him down, telling him that no, he wasn't shouting, and then, more angrily, that she meant what she said: it was a normal argument, not him being abusive. There is a world of difference between having a row and what she went through before. Lee thanks her for supporting him and explaining that to Henry. She gets away from any further discussion by going to check that Henry has got ready for bed rather than finishing the science homework he pretended he didn't have. Lee will put the kettle on so there will be fennel tea waiting for her when she comes down.

Clarrie has thought of giving a piece of barmbrack to everyone at the end of the walk. The first batch is nearly ready to test but Eddie doesn't think it's scary, and they still need something spooky to replace William. Clarrie suggests another witch, and Eddie goes on at some length about who could be asked to do it, failing to notice broader and broader hints from Clarrie. When the barmbrack comes out of the oven Eddie gets a slice with cloth in it meaning bad luck, and Clarrie gets a pea meaning she won't marry this year, Eddie realises that bad fortunes might not be the way to go: the customers might ask for their money back. They will need to think of different charms with less inauspicious meaning to list on the backs of the programmes. He then starts listing requirements for the witch, with Clarrie becoming increasingly exasperated by his denseness, culminating in the suggestion of an audition: the Ambridge Witch Trials. She finally tells him crossly that the witch he is trying to find is stood right in front of him. Even then he doesn't get it, and she has to spell it out: she will be their Halloween witch. He is delighted and tells her she will be perfect.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 16th October, 2023

Ian is destructive, Pip and Stella are smug and Eddie is groundlessly optimistic.

Characters: Oliver, Ian, Alistair, Eddie, Pip, Stella
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Since Adil is not on site to browbeat over it and is not answering his phone, Ian has come in to tell Oliver about being incompetent to place an order for flour without being told how much will be needed [something which is certainly not the business of a building project manager like Adil, and is in fact what a food manager is employed to do. Chris]. He is very indignant when told that Adil has taken the weekend off; Oliver suggests telling his suppliers he will confirm the exact order in an email, and leaving it until Adil comes back, but Ian refuses to do this on the grounds that he is not confident they will have a kitchen that is fit to bake bread in, adding that it cannot be fixed, it is not finished and it is unfit for purpose, and calling Adil incompetent. Oliver apologises to him for 'what is far from an ideal situation'. Ian then requires Oliver to come and look at the kitchen he is so upset about. [What's the point? He has already said it can't be fixed. Chris.]

The turkey poults have been looked over by Alistair, who is giving Eddie good advice about how to rear turkeys, and warning about Ascaridia worms [if Eddie doesn't know all this already how have the turkeys he's been rearing all century survived? Chris] for which, if need be, Alistair can prescribe a wormer licensed for turkeys. As he is about to leave Eddie sounds him out about the guinea-pigs, but Alistair tells him to get Will to see him about them if he needs advice on rodent birth-control, and to separate out any males from three weeks old. This may not work, though, because Eddie has told Poppy about his old rabbit-breeding plan, which fascinated her. Before Alistair is allowed to escape Eddie has presented him with a piece of barmbrack Clarrie has packed up and sent for him, and which by having a ring in it prophesies that Alistair will be married within the year. Alistair laughs heartily, and hopes he defies that fate. He then goes off to Brookfield to check the hooves of one of the Herefords. Eddie shouts after him to find out whether he is coming on the Halloween trail, for which tickets are selling fast, and he shouts back that he is still thinking about it, with a slightly exasperated 'Goodbye, Eddie.'

At Brookfield, Pip and Stella are enjoying yet another non-working and clearly prolonged lunch-break sitting in the sun, and discussing whether Stella is going to get another dog. In theory she would like to, but she can't leave one at home and she can't take it to work. Pip suggests she could leave a tortoyze [sic] at home, and they go on to suggest various other pets that can be left, or that a parrot could come to work with her except, as Stella points out, that would be dangerous because it might repeat what she says about Brian. Pip suggests a land-snail, then, because they can't talk. The two are giggling together about this when Alistair approaches and has to be told by Pip that she and Stella are a couple. He is suitably pleased for them, if a little bewildered at being told this for no reason, and tells them he is looking for Ruth about a lame Hereford; Pip witters for a bit about how grateful Ruth is to be fitted in to Alistair's busy day but eventually manages to tell him that Ruth is waiting for him in the cowshed, and he is about to get on with doing his job, saying as he leaves that it is great news about the two of them, when Pip suddenly tells Stella to ask him about a dog. Stella explains that she wants to get a dog she could train to be on the farm, one with a low prey-drive, and Alistair promises to think about it; or he hears Poppy Grundy might be looking for homes for guinea-pigs.

The utterly tedious Ian is now going on at Oliver about the manifold unsuitability of the kitchen design, at length, showing him [but not the listener. Chris] exactly what he means; Oliver can't understand the thinking behind some of the decisions. Ian likens the design to something Xander might do; to someone eating there it might look like a kitchen but to anyone working in it, it looks inefficient and unworkable, dangerous even. Ian is telling Oliver: this kitchen is a recipe for chaos, and chaos is something you don't want in a busy kitchen. Some of the kit is impressive and obviously cost an arm and a leg, but Ian couldn't use it on a busy evening and guarantee the safety of the staff. Oliver asks what needs to be done, but Ian only says it would help if he could speak to Adil today but Adil is obviously ignoring his calls; could Oliver try to get in touch with him? He isn't answering Oliver either, so that's no use. Normally Oliver wouldn't bother someone on holiday, but various other issues have arisen: the fixtures and fittings are half-on, half-off, and some rooms are miles from completion [and that is how it will all stay, since Ian got rid of the builders and so nobody is working on these things. Chris]. Ian asks to be told if he is out of order, then questions if Adil is even competent: he is just thinking about the explosion, and risk, and responsibility. Should they be blowing the whistle? Oliver suggests sitting tight for one more day before taking any action. Tomorrow he will call a meeting so everyone can have a go at get their worries out in the open with Adil there to answer them. Ian wants him made accountable; Oliver just wants to get some answers, and then to get everyone to pull together and get them back on track. He will message Roy and ask him to set up the meeting. He then thanks Ian for sticking with it, and Ian tells him that he is doing it only for Oliver: if he was listening to his gut he would have walked last week.

Pip and Stella are still enjoying their prolonged lunch-break, and talking about food, Rosie, school lunches, until Stella finally gets up to go; Pip says it felt good telling Alistair, to which Stella agrees. Pip is happy he didn't have as many questions as Jill, who is accused by Pip of having pretended to be confused about pronouns, and of asking whether Pip is now non-binary; Stella says she must have been revising. Pip is glad they are public now, as they should be, not as if they were kids in a school playground, and when Stella asks if she'd be ready to start snogging outside The Bull on a Saturday afternoon defiantly says 'yes'.

After his hard day Oliver is given a glass of cider by Eddie, and then a pep talk about not giving way to despair. His litany of woes about Grey Gables is stopped by Eddie, who with a lot of sententious tosh encourages him not to give up, ending with the mangled aphorism 'all that glitters wasn't built in a day'.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 17th October, 2023

Ian continues to stir, while Oliver and Lynda are concerned.

Characters: Oliver, Ian, Helen, Lynda
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir/(?ChatGPT?)
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Yet again, Ian is pestering Oliver for information which he must know Oliver doesn't have. The meeting produced plenty of complaints from various people but Adil was not there to be pilloried about them answer questions. Oliver had emailed him, and wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, since from what Emma told him it seemed Adil was only away for a long weekend; it now seems this was not the case. Ian inveighs about the cheek of the man, calling it 'unbelievable' that he has left Oliver to pick up the pieces. After some more hot air from Ian Oliver suggests that if he wants to make sure they cross the finish line there has been enough finger-pointing. He then foolishly says that he needs a full and honest account of what Ian's problems are: Ian apologises and says they need more equipment, proper storage, a decent pot-washing area; it's not going to be a quick fix. Oliver then asks about the other departments [I thought he was at the gripe-session? Why does he need Ian to tell him all of it again? Chris] and is told of a lack of staff in the grounds and housekeeping, and that Ian's team are getting restless such that if Ian and Oliver don't do something pronto they're going to walk. The spa has no staff; Oliver comments that the head of staff there was not backward in coming forward. Oliver wonders how he managed not to see how bad things were, and Ian instantly puts the blame on Adil having kept a lot from him, and indeed from everyone. It is now obvious to Ian that Adil has been out of his depth for weeks. He also thinks that the reason people were not particularly forthcoming in the meeting [apart from the one who was not backward in coming forward, presumably. Chris]: a lot of information is in Adil's head only. Ian himself has no idea whether Adil has in fact ordered the equipment he needs but not told him. It's all well and good Oliver saying they should come to him with these problems, but the truth is, he's as much in the dark as they are. Oliver admits to having searched Adil's office to try to get a handle on what he has and has not done, but there was no order: he couldn't make head nor tail of all his lists and spreadsheets [whereas in fact he ought not to have been able to get past the need for a password. Gus] and is beginning to think the only man who can get them out of this mess is the one who put them in it.

Discussing the meeting later with Helen, Ian is despondent, and also continues his whinging about Adil: he now wants to know how Adil got so much responsibility and so little accountability. She saves her spreadsheet in order to give him her full attention, listening to his complaint that if he had known then what he knows now he wouldn't have taken the job, which he didn't need; the only reason he is still there is because Oliver looks like he's close to the edge [and having Ian on his case the entire time will really ease his stress. Chris]; he'd describe it as a melt-down in the making. Helen coos that he has got to quit: he can't stay just to prop up Oliver. Ian however feels he can't throw down tools and abandon the team he is putting together. He has a responsibility to flag all the mistakes Adil okayed, before something really bad happens. Helen voices concern lest Grey Gables not open at all, and the agreements her family have with the hotel fall through; Ian doesn't know, and suggests setting up a meeting with Oliver to see if she can get some straight answers [which is certain to help Oliver's stress levels. Chris].

Oliver meanwhile has gone to see Lynda in search of information about Adil. She at once starts to tell him her Black Tie Ball triumphs, including Adil's agreement to the artisanal beer tent; he asks when that was. She offers him tea, and cake, and then a hazelnut, giving him at the same time the information that Robert makes boiled egg and hazelnut curry. He tells Lynda that Adil hasn't been in work; she hasn't seen him either, and offers to go up and see whether there is anything in his room which would show whether he was there last night, and check that he hasn't overslept.

Ian has now thought of a way to cause maximum inconvenience all round: write everything he is discontented about in an email to Adil, and copy in Oliver. Then at least if anything happens he will have proof that he wasn't happy. He has seen how keen Adil is to shift the blame [which is more than we have ever heard Adil do. Chris]. Helen interrupts to ask if he minds having the door open for a bit because Lee leaves his trainers to dry on the radiator, and before we know where we are the conversation has moved on, from Ian's concerns about Adil's iniquities, to Helen's dislike of habits of Lee's which irritate her, in spite of Ian trying to stay at the helm with giggles about his own habit of never putting the new loo-roll onto the holder instead of balancing it on the old reel and driving Adam mad thereby. What drives Helen mad is Lee using spray deodorant in the bedroom; she speaks of toxic chemicals. She has tried giving him tactful presents, such as deodorant paste for Christmas, but he didn't use it and went back to the spray, the thought of which turns her stomach. Ian asks why she doesn't just tell Lee she doesn't like it, but she thinks that seems petty and that she seems to complain about everything Lee does, at the moment. Ian assures her that even when you're in love the ins and outs of being together get you down at times, and she heaves a deep sigh as one with a secret sorrow but says she shouldn't be moaning about Lee; she really has nothing to complain about. 'But?' prompts Ian; she assures him it's nothing, just her over-sharing, she's sorry, thus giving him the opportunity to tell her that she has nothing to be sorry about and you can't over-share with a friend. Lee knows that she loves him, and anyway with what they are going through [and what would that be? Her abuser is going to die soon and has not in fact done anything to them. Chris] it's reasonable for them to feel the strain. Helen points out that they are on the other side of it now, and says that it's really not the situation that's the problem.

When Lynda goes up to Adil's room with Oliver they find it bare of all his possessions, with the bed stripped. Oliver sees an envelope addressed to Lynda in Adil's handwriting, in which is money and a letter which tells her he encloses a month's rent and is sorry he left without speaking to her or Robert about his change of circumstances; they have a family emergency which requires his immediate presence. Oliver at once feels sorry for 'poor Adil' and excuses his not having answered the phone; he feels dreadful for bothering him about work problems when Adil has been concentrating on his family. Lynda tries to call Adil but has no more luck that anyone else has done: it goes straight to 'answerphone'. Oliver thinks it was worth a try, and thanks her. They both just hope he is all right. Lynda then asks what Oliver will do in the meantime, about Grey Gables? Oliver really doesn't know.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 18th October, 2023

Uncertainty at Grey Gable and disappointments all round.

Characters: Pip, Stella, Helen, Oliver, Lynda
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Stella has taken time off from farming at Home Farm to have breakfast with Pip at Brookfield; they discuss their inappropriate dreams about farming instead of each other, and Rosie, and coming out to the entire world; Pip has been thinking that they should go the Grey Gables ball and be really ostentatious about the fact that They Are An Item; make a splash, do things on their own terms. Stella agrees to do it, and then imposes conditions: if they are going to do it they must do it properly, buying proper outfits well in advance. They agree to wear suits – like secret agents, according to Pip, which Stella expands to 'lesbian James Bonds'. Pip has to go to the post office later, so she will get the tickets from Lynda; Stella says she will transfer the cost of hers over to Pip asap [pronounced Ay-Sap. Chris], then leaves humming the theme tune from Skyfall.

Oliver has gone to buy some cinnamon buns in the tea-room and is buttonholed by Helen, who comes up wanting to arrange an appointment with him later at the hotel, perhaps with Adil too. Oliver would be happy to answer her questions then and there; she apologises for interrupting him at a busy time, then asks if everything is OK and mentions that he looks exhausted and she has rarely seen Ian so stressed. She gets the impression that things aren't going to plan; when Tom sent an email to Adil a couple of weeks ago trying to pin things down, he got very vague promises in reply. Oliver confirms that they are having more than their fair share of teething problems, but he's hoping to get a handle on [sic] them today. Helen is glad to hear this because her designer has finalised the bespoke packaging and the new logo, and Oliver says that is good news and he looks forward to seeing the final product. Helen breaks it to him that it's not good news for Bridge Farm if Grey Gables doesn't open; Oliver makes it clear that is not on the cards and that though there may be delay in certain areas they will definitely open. She argues that it's not just the labels: how is she supposed to schedule production? Oliver can only apologise for the uncertainty she is facing: this is not the way he works, and he feels that he should have been across [sic] many of the issues ages ago. Helen can see he is under pressure and is sorry for adding to it; he disclaims and tells her she has every right to ask questions. Helen decides to email Adil again and wait to hear back from him.

When Pip gets to Ambridge Hall she is just in time to help Lynda heft a huge pumpkin into a wheelbarrow and agrees to take the empty egg-boxes to Josh, but explains she is really there to buy tickets for the Black Tie ball, about which she has heard great things. She can't wait: it isn't often she gets out of her wellies and dresses up. She is thinking of wearing a suit. She then makes a point of telling Lynda that she will be going with Stella, as her partner. No whit disconcerted, Lynda simply responds that they will make a most striking couple, for which Pip thanks her: it's early days, but it's very nice to be with someone again and she has a good feeling about it. Lynda sympathises: she can see she is making Pip happy; Pip confides that Stella enjoys hanging out with Rosie even though she chose not to have children herself. Robert's children were older when she met him, of course, but Lynda still found it quite an adjustment; Pip asks when she and Robert met, getting the reply 'more than forty years ago', and then whether Lynda knew at once that he was 'the one'. Lynda explains that her love for Robert rather crept up on her; at first she just enjoyed doing things with him, going for walks together and being taught by him about birds, and going to see films together. It wasn't a giddy time, not that first flush of love that you read about in books; she found Robert intellectually interesting, and extremely kind. Then one day they were on a walk together and he took her hand, and she felt that jolt of electricity and realised that this man she loved spending time with was also the most handsome man in the world. It was then that she knew that if she was going to be happy, she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. Pip thinks that very romantic. That electricity has never left, Lynda tells her, and she thinks that when you know, you know. Pip, rather breathlessly, now can't wait to go to the ball with Stella. Lynda tells her that with canapés and champagne, piano music and fireworks, it promises to be a night full of romance.

When Lynda tracks Oliver down to give him more news about her plans for the ball, he is fossicking among the plumbing on an upper floor of the hotel, since they no longer have builders to do that for them; they condole with each other about Adil not having been on touch, though Lynda takes comfort from at least knowing he is with his family. Oliver has spent most of the day doing an audit of what is still outstanding, and it is beginning to overwhelm him: no wonder Adil was feeling the strain. Lynda suggests things always feel like this so close to opening, and tries to comfort him by reminding him of a minor crisis at the old Grey Gables which was fairly easily solved; her point is, they got through it, Oliver wishes this were as simple, but he has made the decision to cancel the gala opening. Lynda argues that there is still a chance, but Oliver is certain that there is none.

On leaving Grey Gables Lynda goes to The Bull, when she finds Pip and at once tells her the ball has been cancelled; Pip is very disappointed and exclaims against the decision, so Lynda suggests they could always attend the village bonfire night instead. Pip had thought that had already been cancelled, but it seems that it has now been reinstated, so perhaps that's a silver lining; Lynda is going to see Kenton to talk about it now. Pip puts a brave face on matters and says Rosie would certainly like it; when Lynda has gone Stella remarks the village firework night is not a bad idea and they should definitely go. They could go in their Bond gear, and drinks mugs of cider shaken not stirred. Pip says she is happy with that; in fact she is happy pretty-much all the time she is with Stella; Stella thanks her. Pip then suggests they could move in together, but that doesn't appeal so much to Stella; they don't have to rush: they have years ahead to share the washing-up and change the bed together. Stella tells her she looks as though she needs a cuddle, and Pip at once worries whether anyone can see them, which would spoil their big reveal. [Not that there will be anyone in the village they haven't told whether they want to know or not, but hey. Gus]

As Helen is sorting washing Pat rings, and while they are on the phone something falls out of Henry's gym bag. To Helen's horror, it's a can of spray-paint. It was Henry!

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 19th October, 2023

George thinks he's pulled, while Helen pushes Lee too far.

Characters: Lee, Helen, Henry, George, Brad, Alan
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The spray-paint transgression is being discussed by Lee and Helen, with Lee being a lot more understanding of it than Helen is: she is mortified, whereas he offers Henry a snack before he goes to the church, an idea which Helen vetoes. Henry doesn't want to go, and Lee suggests that maybe he could send Alan a letter instead, but that definitely won't do for Helen. If Henry is sorry, and he says he is, it's important that he shows Alan how he feels. She is scandalised by what he wrote. Lee tries to put Henry's side of things, saying he now knows it was wrong and we all do things we wish we hadn't, especially when we are overwhelmed; he understands how it happened. Helen tells Henry to go and wait in the car, before in effect telling Lee to mind his own business and stop giving Henry mixed messages: he is to leave this to her, please.

Because he has a boring evening at home alone ahead of him while Will and Poppy are out at Grange Farm, and has had a rubbish week with no interest being shown in his on-line business except by one time-waster from near Lower Pendon, George talks Brad into coming over to spend the night gaming with him instead of doing homework with Mia. [Possibly Brad doesn't mean to rub it in that he has a girlfriend and George doesn't. Chris.]

It must have taken Henry quite a lot of guts to own up, in Alan's view, but Henry admits, honestly, that he didn't really: Mum found the spray-can. Helen intervenes to lie that it was Henry who was keen to come and see Alan and make it right; Alan emphasises that he appreciates that. He tells Henry that he will be honest with him and, speaking to Henry as to an adult, goes on that it has been a very difficult situation. When he was approached... He pauses and Helen aggressively says 'By Rob', then informs Alan that it's OK to say his name. Alan continues. When he was approached by Rob, when he asked to be baptised, his first thought was of Henry's mum, well, all of them, actually. But he also has a responsibility as a vicar, and that responsibility doesn't stretch only to the people he likes or agree with. Helen butts in to tell Henry that what Rob chooses to do doesn't have to make them angry or sad: they have to stop giving him space in their heads. Henry asks, reasonably enough, how you stop that, and she tells him it's not easy and it takes energy to push away unhelpful thoughts and sometimes they bubble in anyway. Alan understands that's why Henry sprayed those words on the door: it all just bubbled in. Henry concurs. [Except that this was not a spontaneous overflow of powerful feeling, because buying spray-paint before the age of sixteen involves somebody breaking the law to sell it. Chris.] We feel how we feel inside, ponders Alan, but we have to find the right way to deal with those feelings: he suggests talking, running, shouting even. Helen breaks in again to say 'But definitely not vandalism.' Henry should be very grateful that Alan chose not to involve the police. Henry tells Alan that he is. Helen then somewhat unnecessarily prompts him: what is he going to do to make things all right? He doesn't know, so Alan suggests that he could clear up the churchyard for him, and water the flowers people leave by the gravestones; that would be a real help to Alan and his parishioners. Alan sends him off to fill the watering-can at the rainwater butt, saying that he will join him in a moment. Helen says she will just sit on the bench and drive him back when he and Alan have finished, and Alan in turn puts in a low-voiced plea for Henry: he understands the boy's confusion, it's a lot for him to deal with. Helen just can't get her head around him planning this: buying the spray-can, sneaking there, writing that. It's so offensive. All Alan sees is a scared and sorry young lad, out of his depth.

The gaming evening is being rather more fun for George, in his gaming chair, than for Brad, on the floor with a poor view of the screen and the guinea-pigs in the way. Rather than try the next level or play something else, Brad wonders if there is anything to eat, real food not just crisps, but there isn't. As he is absorbing this fact a message arrives on George's phone, which pleases George no end: the night isn't looking up! It's from a woman, and she's coming over. He goes into a tidying frenzy preparatory to chucking Brad out: when Brad asks who it is, he says it could be any one of dozens and he has a bit of a reputation, which Brad agrees with, citing Mia and Chelsea, who reckon he is known for being so into himself that he's not actually any good at sex. For women, Brad informs him, it's not enough for a man to be good-looking: it's more complicated than that. George laughs (though a tad uneasily) at the idea of Brad giving him advice about what women want. If his reputation is so bad, why is Tilly Button begging him to let her come round? Brad wonders about sharing the consoles, but George tells him to go: Tilly isn't coming round for a lads' night, she's an older, sophisticated older woman [five years older than George, since she was in Phoebe's year at school. Chris], and George needs to get the mood right. Brad suggests that he should throw a blanket over the guinea-pigs, and change his socks, which stink. When George wishes he had some white wine, Brad points out that Tilly drinks pints; he's seen her doing so with Molly in The Bull. He proceeds to tell Brad to put the empty crisp packets in the bin on the way out; he is really grateful to Brad for giving up an evening with Mia to cheer him up, now go! Brad growls and does, slamming the door behind him.

In the churchyard Alan congratulates Henry on having done a grand job, and tells him to head off for his dinner now. Alan mentions there's a lot said about forgiveness in the bible but he likes Paul's words in Ephesians about being kind and forgiving just as, in Christ, God has forgiven you. Henry is not at all sure that he really believes; he's sorry, he adds. Alan laughs and replies that if he only spoke to people with the same faith as him his world would be very small. Whatever Henry believes in, Alan is happy to listen and talk. Henry feels that if he doesn't believe, he can't use what Paul said in the bible to help him; Alan, however, is sure he can: Alan doesn't believe in the Minotaur or Goldilocks but their stories still help him to understand his behaviour better and think about the kind of person he wants to be. Henry, puzzled but trying to follow, asks whether he is saying the bible is like a fairy-tale; no, no, no, no, says Alan; for him, because of his faith, he believes it's the message of God, but faith or no faith many of the stories, poems and sayings in the bible help us to understand human nature better, teach us to be compassionate. Henry, faint but pursuing, says OK. Alan points out that Henry did something he's ashamed of, which is very human, and now Alan should show him kindness and compassion by accepting his apology and forgiving him. But more than that, he should try to understand what led Henry to take such actions, and how the community as well as Henry's family might be able to help him in the future. Henry anxiously asks whether, if Alan forgives him, that means he should forgive That Man? Alan sucks his teeth and says he doesn't know; he isn't sure he could easily forgive him if he were Henry. It's a big ask; what does Henry think? Henry doesn't want to; but does that make him evil? Definitely not, Alan reassures him. Alan thinks Helen's advice is good: let Rob get on with whatever he chooses to do, and, as long as he stays away from Henry and his family, try not to get pulled in. He's got so many people who love and support him: concentrate on loving and supporting them back. Henry says he will.

Lee has come upstairs, where Helen is sorting laundry, to find out whether she would like him to make a start on dinner or fetch Jack from his club; she says she can do both, and he asks whether he has done something wrong, since she is being a bit short with him. She denies this, and says she is just tired; he asks how it went, and when she replies that Alan seemed happy asks whether Henry is all right. She tells him that Henry didn't say much on the way home, and Lee opines that he must be feeling a bit fragile and maybe they should go easy on him. Sarcastically Helen asks what she thinks he's going to do: spend the evening snapping at him? As Lee tries to reply that of course he doesn't she talks over him: she's been very calm and reasonable about this and thinks it very unfair of him to suggest otherwise. He protests that he didn't, and she tells him that she said she wanted to deal with this in her own way. And just pretend that he's not here, and not affected by any of this? asks Lee incredulously. She tells him that this is not about him, and he finally loses patience: it is when she's snapping at him, and hiding upstairs to avoid talking to him! She denies hiding, and says she can't believe how much attention he needs. Lee shouts that is so unfair: was it all about him when he gave up the fight for his girls so he could be with her, to be there for her boys? He has sacrificed so much to be with her... She suggests they both just calm down and talk about this – Lee has not finished. At rising volume he tells her that she can call him messy, annoying, reckless, he's not perfect; but to make out he is selfish and needy 'Don't you dare say that!' She asks if that's it, and he shouts no, actually; he's going to collect Jack, and she can do what she likes.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 20th October, 2023

Helen is creative in her thinking, and so are the partners at Grey Gables

Characters: Clarrie, Oliver, George, Lee, Henry, Helen, Kirsty, Eddie
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

At Bridge Farm Clarrie is full of the joys of Autumn, while Oliver, who is there looking for Helen, doesn't seem especially cheerful; more like preoccupied. As he tries to get away, having established that Helen is not in the dairy, Clarrie calls him back to tell him how sorry they all were he had to cancel the launch event. He is able to simulate cheer about the bonfire committee having stepped in again to hold it on the village green. Luckily before she can put her foot in it any further he spots Helen, and Clarrie sees George coming to give her a lift home, so they part as George comes up to greet Clarrie as his favourite grandparent, which makes her laugh and tell him not to let Susan hear him call her that. He is going to have tea at Grange Farm because he is fed up with Will cooking stew, and Clarrie decides to teach him how to cook for himself so he can give Will a break.

Lee and Henry are home alone and playing a game together, which Henry wins. Lee asks how he feels after seeing Alan, and tells him he was brave to go and face the music; Henry wishes people would stop calling him brave. Lee tells him life is complicated and things get messy, and grown-ups don't have all the answers: often they create the problems. Mabel and Evie didn't choose to have parents living on two different continents, and Henry didn't choose his current situation. Lee understands why Henry feels angry: he is angry himself, because of not being in control. Real life isn't like a computer game, and we feel helpless and sad and frustrated, which has definitely made Lee act in ways he's not proud of. They have a friendly talk, with Lee wondering whether Helen deserves an apology from both of them. He knows they both worry about her and were just trying to protect her, and Henry mourns that they have made things worse.

The breakfast boxes for the rewilding are delivered by Helen, who then stays to tell Kirsty the Whole Trouble With Lee [Ian presumably having failed to be sympathetic enough. Chris] and recount his intolerable behaviour yesterday when they had a row about nothing. Or everything. She says that she can remember when she couldn't wait to get home to be with him, and now she dreams of going home to an empty house and being blissfully alone. Kirsty advises her to be careful what she wishes for, and reminds her how much she missed him when he was in San Francisco, but Helen has now re-written that time in her mind to having been much better without him there; his reaction to her having lied to him by omission the entire time he was away grated on her. Kirsty suggests that he just wanted to support her, even from a distance, and was probably a bit hurt that she didn't need him. Helen mutters that he's always hurt about something, and if she's honest it was much easier to cope when he wasn't there. Kirsty reckons they might need more than a night round a campfire to get them back on track, and Helen wants her to imagine how Lee would have handled that nightmare week: Kirsty made things easier, Lee would have made everything a hundred times harder. Kirsty points out that is hardly fair on Lee, because it's always less complicated when you're not romantically involved with someone; Helen tells her not to say romantically, because her relationship with Lee hasn't been that for a very long time. She can't do this any more, she moans. But when Kirsty asks what she is saying, she says Kirsty is to ignore her and she doesn't know what she is saying. Actually she does know, but she feels really terrible about it.

When Eddie finds George peeling carrots he approves, and Clarrie tells him she is on a mission to teach George the basics of cookery. George boasts that Mum tried and gave up, but Eddie tells him his grandma is not a quitter, and when George complains that he thought late supper with Grandma and Grandpa would be a good night what he gets is Clarrie asking if he had a good night with Brad. Brad seems to have peached on him to Eddie, who wants to know who the lucky woman was. Clarrie is sympathetic when he says no, he doesn't have a girlfriend, and he tells her the tidied up and everything and all Tilly Button wanted was to bring her cousins round to choose their guinea-pig: Poppy has been selling the pups in the school playground. And then two more of her classmates turned up with their mums and dads checking the guinea-pigs actually exist and wanting to know when they will be ready to collect. Clarrie doesn't help by contrasting his evening with Poppy's, at Grange Farm watching her favourite TV shows in company, but he hasn't time to comment before Oliver comes in wanting a word with Clarrie and Eddie but not George. As Eddie hustles George away Clarrie asks Oliver what it is and [tactfully! Chris] tells him he looks terrible.

Without too much difficulty Kirsty has worked out that Helen is not happy, and Helen is fairly sure Lee hasn't been either but he is better at hiding it; she does her best to think of possible reasons, like exhaustion and being overwhelmed by everything that's been happening, but Helen is sure it is more than that. Kirsty protests that Helen and Lee have got something really good together, and Lee is wonderful and kind and great with the boys: isn't that worth fighting for? Helen at once says he isn't always wonderful: he's hot-headed and childish and really resents being away from his girls: last night he said how much he sacrificed. Kirsty sighs and suggests couples counselling or having a break. Helen informs her it won't help. When Kirsty goes on trying to persuade her Helen starts to cry and ask what she is going to do; Kirsty conjures her not to give up too quickly. Talk to him, Helen. If they are to get through this they have to be honest with each other.

In honour of Helen's return shortly after seven thirty Henry and Lee pause the game they are playing; Jack [aged seven and a half! Chris] is already asleep upstairs, so Helen says she will go up to give him a kiss. She reports that Alan has sent her a text to thank Henry for his work in the graveyard; she then tells Henry to go to bed. [Aged twelve! Chris.] He protests it is so early, and Friday night, but she tells him he can read until nine. She needs to talk to Lee. Lee tells her that he and Henry have something they want to say to her; she wants it to wait until the morning [since clearly whatever she wants to say takes precedence. Chris] but he explains that it can't really because in the morning they'll already be on their way. They have arranged a super-fun family day in the hills; Jack is calling it a funny family day, adds Henry. Helen at once tells Lee that she was thinking of taking the boys to see an old friend in Borchester who is visiting her parents for the weekend; surprisingly, Henry doesn't ask who this is. Lee thinks it a pity she didn't let them know before they told Jack; is there any chance she could see her friend on Sunday instead? Helen reluctantly admits they could, but she thought he might appreciate a day to himself, especially after doing dinner, bath and bed himself this evening. Lee says he is fine, and actually he is really excited about their plan; Henry says he is too. Helen asks to be told about it. They tell her they are going to go on a hike, a proper hike with rucksacks like Lee did with Mabel and Evie, and use the billy-can Lee ordered when he got back from San Francisco when they have a camp-fire at lunch-time and toast marshmallows; have they persuaded her? Henry tells her they both wanted to make up for this week, and Lee mutters that what he said last night was out of order, with Henry chiming in 'and the church door and all that' and that he was out of order too. Helen agrees that they were, but they are forgiven. [Or was the 'you' there for Henry alone? Chris.] She agrees to go hiking; her poor old friend in Borchester can't possibly compete with camp-fires and toasted sugar. Lee has told Henry they can bake apples and potatoes in the fire when it gets really hot; Helen says it sounds like a wonderful plan, asks Henry for a hug and tells him she loves him. He says he loves her too.

At Grange Farm, Oliver is explaining to Eddie and Clarrie that it is a disaster. He has come from a meeting with the partners which was soul-destroying: he's never felt so humiliated. [Why? Because their employee fucked up? Not Oliver's blame, surely, since he did not employ Adil. Chris.] as Eddie points out, it should have been Adil taking the flak; Clarrie says she could throttle that man for leaving Oliver in the lurch. Oliver refrains from blame, but starts to enumerate the problems: serious construction issues unresolved, work permits lost or never applied for, the finances are a mess; Oliver thought because his little corner [doing what? Gus] was in order things were going to plan. He refuses food because he has to go back there, but he just wanted to tell them the outcome of the meeting: it's only fair they should know. The partners will put forward a huge lump sum to enable them to complete, on the proviso he stumps up half that amount, which will be a quarter of a million pounds. Grange Farm is the only asset he's got to bring him that much as quickly as they need it; aghast, Clarrie exclaims that they can't expect him to sell Grange Farm. Oliver really hopes it won't come to that. [And when he remembers that he has the money he got for 60% of Grey Gables sitting in his bank, it won't have to. Chris.]

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 22nd October, 2023

Fireworks explode over The Stables, and Helen implodes over the ten-pin bowling.

Characters: Alice, Lilian, Jakob, Ian, Lee, Helen
Credited scriptwriter:
Daniel Thurman
Director:
Marina Caldarone
Editor: Jeremy Howe

It was great weather for Aunt Lilian to go for a ride, and on her return she and Alice gossip about Oliver and Grey Gables and how awful it all is. As they are exclaiming about Oliver having to find a quarter of a million pounds, Jakob comes to tell them that the Johnsons at Manorfield Close are planning to have a fireworks party this evening and he thought he'd better give them the heads up. Lilian thinks it's a bit early, and Alice wants to know why they can't stick to fireworks on Bonfire Night; Jakob thinks it's a birthday celebration. Alice complains that fireworks really stress out the horses. Jakob hopes that with a bit of notice they can keep the horses as calm as possible. Alice says they'll do their best and they've always got strategies they can use. Jakob can't stop because he has to go to lunch with Kate, and after he has gone for his date Lilian suggests that she could go and reason with 'this Manorfield Close lot'. Alice thinks there is no point, and in any case Bonfire Night is coming and no doubt fireworks will be going off all over the village for days beforehand. Alice is not sure whether it is better to keep the horses in or let them out into the paddocks as usual. [Clearly she knows the square root of frod all about horses: keep them in, fool. They are less likely to hurt themselves in an enclosed space. Chris.] She reasons that at least there, if they get frightened, they will have space to move about. [And rush around in panic, and bash into things, and slide and cut or Ghu forbid break their legs. Yeahright, good call Alice. Chris] Against her better judgement Lilian offers to help her turn them all out, and then volunteers to stay with Alice to keep an eye on things.

Quite clearly having come round to see Helen but found only Lee in, Ian is using him as the sounding-board about Grey Gables: he feels he can't leave poor Oliver in the lurch when he's been put in an impossible position financially and Adil's left him high and dry; Lee makes baselessly optimistic responses. What Ian really wants, though, is to know how Helen is after the terrible shock of learning the Grey Gables order won't be for a while yet, if at all. Lee reckons she is OK; she's taken the boys to visit a friend in Borchester and thought Lee would prefer the afternoon to himself after the great day they had together yesterday, about which he tells Ian. It's nice to do things as a family, he says, and Ian agrees but then asks about him and Helen having time together without the boys sometimes. He and Adam are going ten-pin bowling later, having been inspired by Grease 2; they haven't been bowling for years and Ian used to be quite good, Lee [inaccurately, since he went bowling in May this year. Chris] says he hasn't either, and when Ian invites him and Helen to join them accepts, although it is short notice; they can share Xander's baby-sitter. He thinks that making a plan involving Helen but without asking her first, for the second time in two days, will 'put me in her good books'. Ian tells him they should come round at about six.

At The Stables all is not well, and Lilian is glad Jakob called her to check how things were going. Alice has stuck to the usual routine so some of the horses are out in the paddocks, and Lilian is not sure they've done the right thing: they're very agitated. Jakob stresses the importance of Lilian and Alice remaining calm, which Lilian does already know, and as he speaks a rocket shrieks overhead and there is distressed neighing, then Alice comes at a run shouting to Lilian they need Jakob and she is to tell him to get over. Jakob says he is on his way now and rings off as Alice rushes to tell Lilian that it's Sadie, Isobel Draper's horse; she was spooked by a firework, tried to jump over one of the fence-posts and didn't make it. She's off the post now but there's a gaping wound and a lot of blood; she fell and was lying down when Alice left her. Lilian at once sets off to get back to her. [What about all the other horses, any one of which might do anything at any moment? Chris.]

At the ten-pin bowling Lee is ebullient, and Helen is refusing to have a drink and giving grudging answers to his enthusiasm. Adam encourages Lee to lead off, with Helen saying sulkily that she is useless at bowling. As Lee starts, with Adam watching him closely, Ian remarks to Helen that he bets she didn't expect to find herself bowling tonight; she replies that she can't say she did. When he says they'll have fun she wanly responds that she is just a bit tired after a day out with her friend and wasn't expecting to go out again, and when he says it's good that she and Lee are spending time together she tells him with a sigh that they have been together the whole weekend and she is feeling weary. He continues to try to cheer her up, in the face of her saying that she thinks this is more Lee's thing than hers. Having got a strike with his first ball Lee claims that it must be ten years since he last lifted a bowling ball, and takes his time about having his second go; Helen pointedly asks whether he could just do it so the rest of them can have a turn.

Lilian is concerned because Sadie is very quiet suddenly and Alice says her skin is clammy and the blanket she used as a compress is soaked right through. Jakob asks her to lift it off gently so he can see, and, after Alice explains she saw it happen and the horse came straight down on the post, says that it's a very nasty wound. Lilian tremulously asks whether she will be all right, and he says it will take more than just local stitching. He needs to know how deep the piece of wood sits in the wound before attempting to remove it. Alice starts to panic, and Lilian comforts her; Jakob ignores this to ask which post she landed on, and Lilian points it out while Alice says that you can see some of it's broken off. Jakob's concern is that it might be inside her and have caused damage to the intestine. If they can get her to stand, he'll take her straight in to surgery [which is conveniently on the immediate premises. Chris] so he can operate immediately; the injury's pretty serious so she'll need a general anaesthetic for major abdominal surgery. Alice moans that Isobel's going to be heartbroken and she should call her parents; Jakob instructs her to tell them he is doing everything he can. When Alice asks if she will be OK, all he will say is that the quicker they get her into surgery, the better chance she's got.

Lee continues to do well; he is in first place, followed by Ian, then Helen, with Adam seemingly destined for the gutter. Lee laughingly suggests that loser pays the parking, and Adam reminds Helen that it is her turn. Adam suggests she might be using a ball that's too heavy; he switched for a lighter one on the last frame and it definitely felt more comfortable. Lee also suggests a lighter one, and she tells him it feels fine, though he and Adam continue to press the idea of change on her. Lee offers her a different ball and she says emphatically that she is 'fine with this one', then when he jokingly says that's fine if she wants to pay for the parking snaps at him: that is just his ridiculous idea and no-one else agreed to that. Adam and Ian drove them here and it was Lee who wanted to come, so he could show off. If anything he should pay for the parking, she adds with ever-increasing venom. Lee protests that he was only joking, and she flies off the handle completely, shrieking that she is sick of all his comments. Ian tries to intervene to keep the peace, saying that it's all right, with Helen immediately denies: it is not all right and Ian shouldn't pretend it is! Lee apologises if he has upset anyone, Adam foolishly says that he thought they were all having fun. and Lee asks 'weren't we?' This gives Helen the opening to say that actually, no, she wasn't; Adam says it was he not Lee who interfered, Helen tells him that it isn't him, it's Lee, and Lee frantically repeats that he is sorry if he has done anything wrong. Helen shouts that it's too late for that and that he just can't stop himself, can he; when he asks what she means tells him just to shut up for once. Shocked, Ian exclaims, 'Helen!' and she tells him she's had enough. Lee suggests they should go, and she tells him to stay and finish the game; she doesn't want him coming with her and needs to be on her own for a while. She walks out, though Lee shouts after her. He turns to the others and asks what he said; Adam doesn't know. Lee asks why she is so upset with him, and Ian says he will go after her; when Lee wants to go instead Adam says maybe he should let Ian.

Ian catches up with Helen outside and she immediately tells him she is OK, but when he asks her not to leave she tells him she's sorry but she needs to. He asks whether it wouldn't be better if she just came back, and she crossly says it would be better if she hadn't come. She means it! She should have stayed at home with the boys. Ian ruefully says that it was supposed to be fun for her and Lee, to which she replies that it couldn't have been a worse idea, and tells him to go back, please; she'll get herself a taxi. He protests they could all leave together, gaining a furious 'No!'; she wants some time to herself. Ian thinks she should talk to Lee, but she won't do that now; when Ian says Lee is confused she tells him emphatically that Lee needs to open his eyes. She is now starting to breathe heavily, and, when Ian says he doesn't think Lee meant to upset her, tells him that the thing is, she wanted to say no in the first place, and she should have just said no, and listened to her instincts. Ian is sorry if he did the wrong thing by pushing for it, and she assures him that it wasn't him but maybe she should just be grateful, because this has all been confirmation that she and Lee can't go on like this.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 23rd October, 2023

Mia and Alice are zealous, Adam just a little bit jealous.

Characters: Mia, Alice, Jakob, Adam, Ian, Lilian
Credited scriptwriter:
Daniel Thurman
Director:
Marina Caldarone
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Mia has come to The Stables to have a look at the injured horse and pump Alice for information; the owner, Mr Draper, apparently had an eye on the vet's bill, which since Jakob was doing surgery for three hours will be in the thousands. Though this will be paid by their insurance, their premium will go up; Alice is worried he might sue her, though so far there's been no mention of lawyers: a legal action could cause them major problems. Alice is praying for no more complications for poor Sadie: fingers crossed, because the surgery was successful and she seems comfortable. Jakob comes and reports the wound is nice and clean with no inflammation, but she could be developing a seroma, which he explains to Mia as fluid that can gather around a trauma wound; they must keep bathing it with salt water. Considering her injuries she is in pretty good shape. He leaves instructions to call him if there is any occasion to, and as he drives off Alice remarks it could have been worse; Mia sententiously says 'and all because of some stupid fireworks'. She claims to have been 'so glad' when the Grey Gables fireworks were cancelled, but they are doing bonfire night on the village green instead; Alice crossly claims they won't if she has anything to do with it. She has noticed [for the first time in her life. What did she do last year? Shula left Ambridge in September 2022. Chris] that the fact is, fireworks and animals just don't mix; Mia eagerly tells her that whatever she is planning, Mia is in.

Ian is working on a redesign for the Grey Gables kitchen when Adam comes home early to take Xander out on his scooter, and is told that Kate has taken him to 'hers' for tea [where would that be? The Lodge? Was Peggy consulted? Chris]; when he says he will go away and wait until Ian has finished working, Ian shuts down the program he had open and says 'Finished'. Adam suggests wandering over to The Bull, and Ian agrees: he just wants a calmer evening than yesterday. Adam wonders what that was all about: Helen was in a right state. He hasn't seen her today at all, and Ian called her this morning but got no answer, though she messaged later to say she was OK. [Not a 'sorry' or anything, of course. Gus.] Adam wonders how Lee is: he was very shaken last night; apart from anything else, it was so embarrassing! Ian agrees that the evening was a write-off, and Adam remarks that Helen's anger seemed to come out of nowhere. Ian tries to make excuses for her, but Adam still can't see why she tore into Lee like that; Ian says he will ask her when he can. Adam blames Rob Titchener, who is usually to blame for Helen's stress. Ian is not sure. Adam reckons whatever sparked last night, That Man is certainly causing tension between Helen and Lee, and with that Ian can agree. Changing the subject to a less fraught relationship, Adam says that when he was driving through the village at lunchtime he saw Pip and Stella walking together hand in hand: Ian is really pleased for them, and Adam thinks they make a great couple and looked very happy.

Back at The Stables Lilian has come to check on Sadie; she knows the horse is a bit nervy, but she's never known anything like it. Alice reports that Jakob is satisfied with her progress, and Lilian has spoken to her rider's parents, again; they are not happy. Lilian and Alice are both grateful for Jakob; now all they need is for Sadie to make a full recovery. Lilian will look in on the patient and then be back; Alice tells her they are heading out, which seems to surprise her a little [as indeed it would anyone who expected a riding stable to have a senior member of staff available during the day. Chris]. Mia gushes that she and Alice share the same feelings about mixing animals and fireworks and are joining forces; Alice asserts that they can't just sit back and let the fireworks wreak havoc. When asked, Mia says they are going to The Bull to speak to Kenton and Jolene, because they want them to cancel this year's event. Lilian laughs incredulously and wishes them good luck with that, since it has only just been reinstated, but Mia thinks calling it off would send a really good message that the fireworks aren't appropriate specially in a place like Ambridge, and Alice adds after what happened to Sadie last night. Lilian pours a little cold water by pointing out that bonfire night is a popular village event and one of the busiest nights of the winter for the pub. Mia stridently asks at what expense, and says they are thinking of the animals. Lilian mentions that she is too, but doesn't want to lose all that custom at The Bull; Alice wants to make their feelings known. Lilian suggests that under the circumstances, the best thing might be for them to keep all the horses stabled on bonfire night; Alice immediately starts to worry about them injuring themselves in there, even though Lilian reminds her they have plenty of time to prepare and make sure everything's as safe for them as possible. Mia bleats that they will still be frightened; Lilian has been thinking they could play some calming music to drown out the noise. When Alice asks whether that will work, Lilian tells her that people do it. Mia can't believe that. Patiently, Lilian tells her it's a compromise [not a word whose meaning Mia understands. Chris], but Mia still thinks they've got to tell Kenton and Jolene it's not fair. They can't give up already! Alice agrees they should at least make their case to them; Mia adds 'if only for the sake of Sadie's owners', and Alice caps that with 'all the clients, actually' since they may have heard about what happened last night. Lilian does point out that this sort of incident has never happened before but Mia just tells her they are going to make sure they don't have one in the future.

Having suggested they go to The Bull, Adam is now saying they don't have to stay there long: just a pint and then home for dinner, which sounds good to Ian. Kate will call when she is ready to drop Xander off. Adam has been think about what Ian said about Pip and Stella, and feels Ian was being a little defensive; Ian thinks he knows where this is going. Adam says the fact that Pip and Stella are publicly demonstrative reminded him that he and Ian save their hand-holding for home rather than anywhere public. Ian remarks that they have never needed to perform their love for other people, and when Adam wants to know why he put it like that, responds that they are just not the type. Adam likes holding hands, and says so; so does Ian, but not so much in public; he says rather desperately that they are middle-aged, but Adam doesn't see why Pip and Stella should have the monopoly on it [whatever 'it' is. This writing is driving me to drink. Chris] when they've been together five minutes and are holding hands in public. Ian suggests that is because it's a novelty, but Adam is not to be fobbed off so easily and insists that he and Ian have been a couple for twenty years and share a son, and he just wants to hold his husband's hand. Is that too much to ask? He then demands that Ian must hold his hand and when Ian unwillingly complies says triumphantly that there is nothing wrong with that is there. Ian is clearly uncomfortable, and when they are greeted by Jakob he instantly lets go of Adam's hand.

The attempt to bend Kenton to their will was, as Mia says, a complete waste of time, though Alice was impressed by her eloquence and says that at least Kenton and Jolene know how they feel; as they stand outside the pub Lilian greets them on her way for a pre-dinner tipple with Justin, who is already in the pub. She is unsurprised that they have had what Mia calls 'a big fat no' to any suggestion of cancelling bonfire night on the green, and, when Alice says that at least they were sympathetic about Sadie, can't see how they would have been anything else. Kenton apparently thinks it was a freak accident, according to Alice, but Mia tells Lilian they can't be sure it won't happen again. Lilian tells her they can if they stable the horses safely next Sunday and she is confident they can all have a decent bonfire night; Mia continues to know more about horses than someone with nearly seventy years' experience of looking after them and says she is not giving up that easily. Alice wants to know what more they can do, and Lilian suggests encouraging people only to let off fireworks on November 5th; Mia indignantly asks how that would help and Lilian patiently tells her it would go some way towards containing the disruption, with one night being better than several days of explosions. To Mia's freely-expressed scorn, Lilian further suggests they could put flyers through every door in the village to raise awareness. Alice asks what Mia reckons: honestly? asks Mia. She feels they have to do far better than that.

Jakob is singing Alice's praises to Adam and Ian before heading for Kate's; Ian warns him that Xander will be there and invites him to the Bull instead if he likes, but Jakob thinks he can cope with a four-year-old. After he leaves Ian apologises for having let go of Adam's hand, explaining that Jakob took him by surprise; Adam assures him that's fine, but Ian is unsure whether he really means it. Adam feels he probably shouldn't have pushed it, and half-seriously Ian says that he blames Pip and Stella flouncing around Ambridge in a provocative fashion: if it wasn't for their antics this would never have come up. When he says they can now go for that drink, Adam can't resist twisting his tail a little by saying only if he is comfortable about being seen with him in public. After a moment's awkwardness Ian asks whether Adam is upset, and Adam asks why he would be.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 24th October, 2023

Helen and Ian explain, with varying degrees of honesty.

Characters: Lee, Helen, Eddie, Will, Ian, Adam
Credited scriptwriter:
Daniel Thurman
Director:
Marina Caldarone
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Lee is doing is best to behave in an ordinary way, offering to drive Jack to school, and is brusquely rebuffed because 'Logan's mum's offered' [Logan's School Run. Gus]; he thereupon suggests that now they have some time to themselves they had better talk. Once more he is impatiently put in his place: Helen needs to get to work. He protests they have hardly spoken since Sunday night and is crossly told that they can do this later, but he persists, saying that after work the boys will be home and they won't get a chance; Helen makes one more offer, 'tonight', but Lee has had enough prevarication and asks her whether she realises how she made him feel. She informs him they were both upset, and he asks why; why was she so angry with him? Did she really think he deserved it when she went for him in front of Adam and Ian? She hisses that she didn't want to be there, and he knew it; he reasonably asks why not say something earlier, in that case, and she makes the excuse that he had already made the plans. He is confused: she could have told him that she wasn't feeling up to it. She explains that he was so enthusiastic about it that she didn't think she could be honest, which he finds pathetic; she then throws Friday in his face, when she came home and he [but seemingly not Henry. Chris] had planned the next day. He reiterates that he simply doesn't understand what he said or did on Sunday to make her act so angrily, and she interrupts to confirm that she shouldn't have said any of those things and it was wrong; he asks whether in that case she owes him an apology. She ducks that by saying briskly that what she really owes him is an explanation: she can't do this any more.

The turkeys are being fed by Eddie when Will comes to find him and after some chat about how well the birds are doing they move on to the Halloween trail; Will thinks Clarrie doesn't look happy about playing the witch, or at least unhappy in general, and Eddie explains about Oliver perhaps having to sell Grange Farm and this having worried him and Clarrie.

It's clear to Adam that Ian is in a state, and he assumes this is about Grey Gables, but it turns out that Ian feels he needs to apologise for having dropped Adam's hand not just last night, but many times before. When Adam says that it is all right Ian denies this and says he is a fifty-three-year-old man and still feels the awkwardness and shame he felt as a gay child in Northern Ireland. The shame was over who and what he was, and it is time he was honest about it; he dodges the subject as much as he does the hand-holding. Adam chuckles indulgently, but Ian remains apologetic: he wants to explain.

Lee can't believe what Helen is saying to him, and the more upset he becomes the calmer and more matter-of-fact she does. She's been struggling, she tells him, and it's the best thing for them; not for him, he protests, but she doesn't pay any attention to an irrelevance like that: it's what she needs to do. He asks her incredulously whether she is ending it just like that, and she tells him almost plaintively that she has made the decision. She can't handle them, this relationship, right now: she doesn't have the head-space. She needs to concentrate on herself and the boys. Lee breaks in to attribute her behaviour to Rob Titchener, but she denies it: she has moved on from that. They talk in parallel monologue for a while, with him blaming Rob and her denying that she would for instance have gone to San Francisco with him if not for Rob, whom she can blame for a lot of things but not this. Lee supposes that it must be his fault then, and she denies that too: she isn't blaming either of 'us'. He finally points out that she hasn't been so perfect, which she doesn't deny: she knows that. In a raised voice Lee tells her that he has held a lot back and she has made it hard to get through to her, and he has stuck with it and been as patient and understanding as he could. She tells him he has been amazing, he retorts that now she's done with him. She irrelevantly says that he knows that's not who she is, and he bitterly asks if he does; she tells him that it just isn't working. Quietly, he asks what he is supposed to do now: she seems to know what's right for herself, but what about him? She suggests him going to spend time with his daughters, and perhaps find a job out there. He is flabbergasted: does she really think he can just up sticks and emigrate? Until five minutes ago his life was in Ambridge, with her, and now she just wants to get rid of him. She says that's not true [even though it patently is. Chris] but shoots down any suggestion he makes other than him leaving. She knows this is painful, but she finally has a clear idea of what's best. He asks whether she has told her parents; she hasn't. Or Henry and Jack? 'No, we have to tell them,' is her reply. He begs her: is there nothing he can do to change her mind? No, she says simply. She's sorry.

Eddie wants to plan the Halloween trail over a bacon sarnie, but Will is thinking that perhaps he could have a word with Oliver. They can't just sit back and let him sell Grange Farm from under their feet, and in spite of his no longer living there [and not having done so for more than half his life. Chris] it is still Will's home. Eddie tells him Oliver has said nothing about it since Friday, and Will replies that this is important. Eddie doesn't want to worry Oliver before his birthday tomorrow; Will scornfully supposes Eddie and Clarrie will do what they always do: nothing, and hope it goes away. Eddie hopes Oliver will find another solution; Will wants to know what if he don't.

Ian is now recounting his childhood traumas while Adam speaks soothingly and says he too had a hard time growing up gay but not as hard as Ian did. Ian confesses that he even joined in to baiting a gay child at his school and called him 'queer', to try and turn suspicion off himself. The only person he could confide in was his aunt Susie, though he now wishes he had told his mum. He didn't expect thing to be any better anywhere, when he moved to London, though it's true that none of the things he was so scared of happened. Then he met Adam and things changed; he'd never expected to find love, and he has experienced happiness, but that doesn't mean he doesn't still expect the worst. Adam firmly tells him that it's not his fault. Ian just wants Xander to grow up knowing his dads love each other, but out there as well as in here: why shouldn't they walk along the pavement holding hands? Adam offers that they will work at it, together. It's OK. Ian wants to prove to himself, to that frightened kid he once was, that it's OK.

Lee supposes that finally saying what's been on her mind all this time must be a relief to Helen; she meaninglessly tells him that she really didn't want to hurt him, and he points out there wasn't much chance of avoiding that. It isn't easy for her either, she says, and he tells her he isn't going to make things any harder than they need to be, for her or the boys. She has clearly made her decision; he'll start looking for somewhere else to stay. She pushes him about his plans, but he doesn't know and had better start ringing around. She thanks him for being so understanding. He tells her that he doesn't understand: he heard everything she said, but he doesn't agree, and thinks she's giving up way too easily. He's not moving out because he gets it, or because he agrees with her decision, which he doesn't and won't; he is only leaving because he cares about her and the boys so much. He's respecting her feelings, but unlike her he hasn't given up on them yet.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 25th October, 2023

A tale of two PR campaigns.

Characters: Alice, Mia, Helen, Ian, Will
Credited scriptwriter:
Daniel Thurman
Director:
Marina Caldarone
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The petition to cancel bonfire night is written, and Mia is sitting outside the shop with it. Alice thanks her for doing all this; she can't stay, because she wants to keep an eye on Sadie but she will come back when she can. Mia should really be at college but animal welfare is more important to her, and Alice is shamed into saying she can stick around for a bit. [So the welfare of the animals in her charge doesn't actually matter, eh? Chris.] Apparently Jim has given Mia the OK for the position of the table, and signed the petition. Alice doesn't want to cause any disruption, but Mia says that is exactly what they do want to do. She then produces the slogan 'Fireworks are for stupid jerks', which makes Alice laugh though she doesn't think they should shout it out. Mia reminds her to sign the petition herself, which makes five signatures in ten minutes. Mia plans to stay there all day and waylay everyone on their way into the shop, planning to force them to sign with threats of 'consequences' if they don't. Alice is not sure she likes the sound of this; Mia refuses to tell her what they will be but says she not to worry: it's all part of her strategy.

Saying that she doesn't want to interrupt his morning, but interrupting his morning anyway, Helen has gone round to tell Ian she has given Lee the push. She starts by claiming she just wants to say how sorry she is about Sunday, which Ian at once excuses, telling her she has no need to apologise for ruining everyone's night and he was more worried about her. After this very small push, she gets round to her real reason for being there, that she has ended things with Lee. Ian is taken aback and asks how Lee took it; Helen says 'not great' and that Lee is moving out on Friday. Ian is gobsmacked and wants to know where he is going, and Helen tells him one of Lee's colleagues in Borchester is putting him up. Ian doesn't know what to say because it feels so sudden; Helen assures him that she has been having doubts for a while, and it hasn't been working between them. Ian thought it was just small stuff that was annoying her; she snorts derisively and tells him it's lots of things but trust her, he doesn't want to hear it. Ian acquiesces. Helen reiterates that she just wanted him to know it was over, and isn't best pleased when he asks if she is sure, and when he says that couples always have challenges, look at him and Adam, asks whether he loves him. Ian of course answers yes, and Helen informs him that she doesn't feel that way about Lee. She cares about him deeply, and loves the relationship he has with the boys, but she's not in love any more. That's just how things are. Ian is sorry about it. She is too; and now she needs to break it to Mum and Dad. She is going to do that this morning, and she's not looking forward to it: they're both so fond of Lee, and they're sure to assume she's making a terrible mistake. They normally do. But she cannot put this off. Ian arranges to meet her afterwards for lunch at about one; when he offers to cook, she says she'll just bring something from the farm shop.

Mia and Alice have collected fifteen signatures when Will comes into sight. He doesn't approve of Mia cutting college, even if she is standing up for something she believes in, and declines to sign their petition When she asks him why not, he tells her that if she can stand up for her beliefs he will stand up for his, and he believes she should be in college. She warns him there are consequences for not signing, and then throws some snaps around him, startling him. She boasts that she has a pocket full of them, which Alice thinks she had better throw away: she can't go chucking them at people. She retorts that she threw them on the pavement, and pays no attention to Alice telling her it's dangerous. Will says he's fine, Mia triumphantly says they are harmless, and for some reason Will finds it amusing and signs after all, to Mia's smug exclamation of 'Victory!' Alice leaves for The Stables, reminding Mia to clear up any debris. Will suggests that Mia's tactics may have worked on him but Alice didn't seem too pleased about them, but Mia just says she'll change her tune when she sees the page full of signatures. Will tells her that it must be back to college tomorrow and that she is to be careful, then goes into the shop to buy a birthday card for Oliver as he had intended before he was interrupted.

Helen is glad she and Ian arranged to have lunch; Pat and Tony were indeed not happy about her announcement. As when she told Lee, she feels terrible to be hurting someone but at the same time there's this weight that's been lifted. Pat was tearful but tried to hide it, and they jumped to the conclusion that this is all because of Rob, which Helen emphatically denies yet again when Ian says he has to admit that he also thought that; he wants to know how she knows, but the only answer she gives is that she is sure. Rob can no longer manipulate her thinking and behaviour. This is her thinking and acting for herself; she made that very clear to Mum and Dad. She thinks they understood, though they suggested possible ways to work through it rather than simply dumping Lee. Ian, realising what is expected of him, is scornful about each of these as Helen mentions it but tells her they mean well. Helen thinks that in the end they accepted it, too. Ultimately they just want what's best for her. Ian suggests they want her to be happy; she concurs. Now there's something even more difficult to face: telling the boys. She feels emotional just thinking about it. She plans to do that after Henry has been on a day out tomorrow that he has been looking forward to; she and Lee will talk to them when he gets back. When asked how she thinks they will take it Helen replies that they are children, and Ian knows how much Lee means to them. And the boys to him, adds Ian. It's going to be very hard, Helen agrees, but she hopes they can get it right.

When Will next sees Mia she is packing up and is very short with him. She has stupidly thrown a handful of snaps on the pavement beside Hilary Noakes, who criticised her rudely for trying to interfere with tradition [something Mrs Noakes has done more than once herself, not only getting up a petition against the bonfire in 2006 but also getting it moved in 2014. Chris]. Mrs Noakes had a very nasty turn as a result of the shock and has threatened to report Mia to the police for assault and file criminal charges. Will tells her that it is unlikely Mrs Noakes will report her to the police but she is terrified Harrison Burns will come after her. The fact is, she says, she should have listened to Alice. She wanted to make a real success of this campaign and she's gone and ruined everything.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 26th October, 2023

In which Mia gets away with murder, and Lynda takes it on herself to forgive Adil everything.

Characters: Azra, Lynda, Mia, Alice, Lilian, Adil
Credited scriptwriter:
Daniel Thurman
Director:
Marina Caldarone
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Adil's sister Azra has come to see Lynda and to explain what is going on with Adil. She is very conciliatory as she tells Lynda there was no family crisis; Lynda is suspicious and on the verge of hostile, but eventually invites her to come in.

It seems that Mia has decided that her campaign to prevent Ambridge from celebrating bonfire night is 'our' campaign when she is talking to Alice. She takes full responsibility for messing it up: she shouldn't have thrown the snaps, which was a dumb idea. Alice did try and warn her, and that's why Mia is at The Stables: to say how sorry she is. Alice advises her to stop beating herself up about it [instead of telling her, as a responsible adult should, to try using her brain next time. Chris] because we all make mistakes. Mia hopes Mrs Noakes will be as understanding and hasn't pressed charges for assault. [Which she can't; she can report it, the police will decide whether there is a case to answer and if they think there is pass it on to the CPS, and the CPS will decide whether to prosecute. Chris] Alice says that Hilary Noakes has a reputation for blowing things out of proportion, but Mia thought she'd had a heart attack; Alice is sure she's fine now. Mia feels she has wrecked the campaign because nobody will take it seriously any more now they've lost the moral high ground. Lilian, coming to check on Sadie, makes fun the two of them for conspiring, and Mia goes to take some flowers to Mrs Noakes as a peace offering, uncomforted by being told that her behaviour was the talk of The Bull last night. However, when Mia says that she is worried because Mrs Noakes had a proper funny turn, Lilian says that woman is a funny turn and Mia just got a bit carried away, that's all. Mia at once gets back onto her high horse about standing up for what she believes in, and any possibility that she might have learned anything is lost. When she says she is sorry she has ruined their campaign Lilian wants to know who says, and advises her not to speak too soon. She has upset Hilary Noakes but provided inspiration elsewhere.

The explanation to Lynda includes Adil not having wanted Azra to get involved, but Azra having persuaded him they deserved some sort of explanation is the reason she is there. He has been staying with her; Lynda launches into a justified account of what Adil has done wrong, culminating with the accusation that he has invented a story to get out of it. Azra explains that the crisis is not a family one but personal. Lynda is at once drawn into sympathy for Adil and asks whether he is all right now and is told that he is much better, thank goodness, though she can't say it's been easy seeing patients all day and then going home to counsel her little brother. Lynda wants to know what did happen, and is told that he lost his fiancée Sabha, a beautiful person on whom he doted, to a hit and run as she waited at a bus-stop. Adil was devastated. He was running late and was not there to pick her up, and he blamed himself and has never really dealt with the guilt, or the grief. After her death he just wanted to keep busy, so he threw himself into work, but he has a habit of taking on too much, like he's done at Grey Gables. He has ended up feeling overwhelmed, and that's why he needed to get away. Lynda would like to speak to him herself, though Azra says he is embarrassed. He keeps saying he wants to fix things, and Lynda understandably wonders why he doesn't come back and do that. When Adil now rings Azra, Lynda says she will give her some privacy, and goes out asking Azra to send him her regards. Adil and Azra then speak, but when he learns she is at Ambridge Hall he says he will call her later on. However, when Lynda's regards are passed on and he is told that Lynda is not angry with him, just concerned, he wants to have a quick word with her. Azra sternly tells him that he should speak to her in person.

It transpires that Lilian has talked Kenton and Jolene into having quiet fireworks on bonfire night. Initially pleased, Mia quickly starts to complain that this is not enough; she wants silent fireworks, and though she is pleased that they will be having an eco-friendly bonfire night she grumbles that she'd rather it wasn't happening at all. Lilian tells her she should take this as a win, and Mia grudgingly asks what Alice thinks; Alice thinks Lilian might be right. Lilian tells them the fireworks are not only quiet as mice, they are also biodegradable; also it has been decided that only clean, dry and natural materials will be used for the bonfire. [As has been required by law for many years. Chris] They are also not building the bonfire until the day of the event to avoid any animals like hedgehogs hiding among the kindling. [So they will be continuing to do what Mike Tucker started in 2006. Chris.] Mia says that sounds better, and, when Lilian asks if she is warming up to the plan and tries to butter her up about her ideas having been used, agrees that it's a step in the right direction. However, there is definitely more that can be done to improve things, says Lilian [like what exactly? Chris] which is why they would like Mia to help with the organisation. The committee thinks she would be a real asset and can help steer them in the right direction. Alice and Mia laugh that she will put a rocket up them more like.

Lynda has driven over to Solihull to speak with Adil, who doesn't want her to mince her words: his behaviour was cowardly. Lynda however has decided not to punish him, and is determined to reassure him that he is not only not unforgivable, he will be forgiven if he comes back and sets right what he has got wrong. He is not to give up on his ambitions for the hotel: everyone is working hard to retrieve the situation. Each accusation he levels at himself she counters, and she tells him that Oliver needs his help. He has been made comfortable by Azra, but his home is in Ambridge: Lynda hasn't let his room yet, and it is still waiting for him. As is always the case when Lynda sets out to get her own way, she is very persuasive: if he wants to put things right, he must come back to Ambridge.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 27th October, 2023

The unforgivable is often forgiven by the soft-hearted or soft-headed, in Ambridge.

Characters: Helen, Henry, Will, Oliver, Adil, Lee
Credited scriptwriter:
Daniel Thurman
Director:
Marina Caldarone
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Having been told that Lee has been given the push, Henry is not interested in talking to Helen. When she says he's hardly said a word to her since last night his response is 'Why should I?' She has forced him to go to school by driving him there, and he thinks this is so he won't see Lee again, though she assures him Lee will still be there when he gets home. After a certain amount of her attempting to blandish him and make excuses, Henry tells her this is all her fault and she is spoiling everything, gets out of the car, and leaves her to stew in her own juice.

As he had threatened to do, Will has gone to Grange Farm to tell Oliver he can't sell the house. He can understand Oliver being upset about Adil's desertion, and is sympathetic, and they talk about Oliver's birthday and Clarrie making him a cake, but then Oliver finds the last of the papers he is looking for and thinks he had better get on. Will now braces him about selling, but when Oliver tells him he won't have to sell the house if he sells the old semi-derelict barn at the far end of the yard and some land behind it instead, Will doesn't like that idea either: it would mean disruption and Eddie and Clarrie would hate it. Oliver is telling him repeatedly that nothing is decided yet and it may not come to that when there is a knock on the door and Adil comes in: he hopes he's not interrupting anything.

Rather than go to work, Helen has come to interfere with Lee's packing by asking if she can help with anything and tell him how much she doesn't want to have hurt him. He is obviously sceptical about her claims but asks, somewhat pointedly, whether Henry is talking to her yet. Helen admits he isn't: he's very angry with her and probably will be for a while. She thinks that's because she did most of the talking last night, which Lee takes as a criticism of him for not contributing enough. She shouldn't forget that it is her decision, he tells her: he came along for the sake of the boys. She hastily tells him he was brilliant with them, and his voice cracks as he says they were so upset. Helen thinks it was one of the hardest things she has ever had to do, and Lee sounds almost tearful as he says 'me too'. He loves those kids, and he's going to miss them so much. Helen protests that he's still going to see them, everyone wants that: he is so important to Henry and Jack. And she really does understand how painful this is for the three of them! Lee clears his throat and says he had better finish packing.

At Grange Farm Oliver is tearing Adil off a comprehensive strip, and keeps Will there to witness the dressing-down. He is seriously angry. He sees no reason to believe a word Adil says; Adil keeps apologising and keeps offering his help. Will manages to make his escape as the first fine flush of fury is passing, and Oliver allows him to leave, saying that he will keep Clarrie and Eddie abreast of what is happening. Adil's attitude eventually wears Oliver down from fury to grumbled indignation; even when Oliver seethes that it should be Adil not Oliver apologising to Will and the rest of the Grundys Adil still manages to keep accepting the blame for everything. Oliver asks why Adil couldn't just have been honest with him, and Adil has no real reply except that he thought he could handle things himself; Oliver wants to know how disappearing was going to help. Adil says he panicked, and Oliver points out that they could have worked together, but by running away he dumped everything at Oliver's door. Adil says he wasn't thinking straight, but he is now and he is there to put things right: he means it. Oliver wants to know how he can ever trust Adil again, and tells him he is too much of a risk. Oliver has to consider the staff, and he doesn't intend to make everyone redundant again as he did last year. [I want to know more about this 'team' at Grey Gables: who is paying them, and what are they doing if the hotel is nowhere near open? Chris] In order to avoid it he is going to have to make some very serious sacrifices. Adil suggests there must be something they can do other than selling land at Grange Farm, and Oliver seizes on the word 'we' and rages about that too. Adil wants to help, he says rather desperately; he's there to fix things. He begs Oliver please to hear him out.

Henry is talking to Lee, asking if they can do some gaming, when Helen demands to be told by him where Jack is. He ignores her. She tries to call him to order and gets an exasperated 'What?', followed by a refusal to take a sandwich upstairs to his brother: he tells her to take it herself and doesn't see why he should go. Lee intervenes, tells him not to speak to his mum like that, and wants to know what's up. Henry asks whether Lee really has to leave, and when Lee tells him that he does, and that it's hard for all of them, says that it isn't hard for Helen because it's her decision. Lee lies to him, saying it is something Helen and Lee decided together, and explains that sometimes two people just can't be together any more. They have to make a very brave decision that it's right for them to live apart. Henry asks if he thinks it's right and Lee, still lying, says that he and Helen feel the same way and that they are doing what's best for all of them. So Henry shouldn't blame his mum, nor anyone: it's no-one's fault, just the way things work out sometimes. He promises that Henry will still see him, and soon. Helen asks what Lee is doing on Sunday and tells him he can take the boys out then; Henry immediately thanks her and takes Jack his sandwich.

Adil is explaining that he knew it wouldn't be easy returning and Oliver is crossly glad that he didn't expect a welcome party. In spite of anger from Oliver about all the people who have been going frantic trying to put right the mess he left, he is committed to doing everything he can to get Grey Gables back on track. He will make Oliver three promises: he will win back Oliver's trust, deliver the hotel, and repay Oliver's investment. He can't however put up a quarter of a million himself, but if the only way Oliver can raise it is selling land at Grange Farm he will get him that money back as soon as is humanly possible. After some more freely-expressed annoyance from Oliver and more grovelling from Adil, Oliver accepts that when Adil is good there's no-one better and, having muttered that he must need his head examining, agrees to allow Adil to come back onto the team. Adil is not to make him regret it. However, if they are to resume their working relationship, Adil is not to make any decisions about the hotel without Oliver's prior approval. Everything must be discussed and agreed in advance. Adil understands, and promises not to let him down again.

Lee is about to leave, and doesn't want to say goodbye to the boys again. Before he goes Helen wants to thank him for what he said to Henry: he didn't have to do that and she knows how difficult it must have been for him. Lee brokenly tells her all of it is difficult, and Helen says she is sorry for how things have turned out and claims not to have wanted to hurt him; but she would only have hurt him more in the long run by not being honest. She hopes one day he might understand. Lee, in a breaking voice, hopes one day she might remember how good they are for each other. Helen too starts to weep as she says she will never forget all the wonderful times they had; Lee asks if he can have a hug, and gets one because she was going to ask him the same thing. After a lot of sniffing and gulping from both of them, Lee tells her he will text her about picking up the boys on Sunday, says goodbye, and leaves. As he shuts the door after him Helen continues to sob and sniff.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 29th October, 2023

In Ambridge, not listening to what someone is telling you has become a norm.

Characters: Josh, Lily, Paul, Tony, Brian, Denise
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

At The Stables a minor row is brewing; Josh points out the clock is wrong by an hour and Lily is unpleasant in assuming he expects one of them to change it, then when Paul crossly says that he will do it tells him that Josh is just trying to avoid talking about a party she wants to hold for Halloween and he doesn't. After a bit Paul has had enough of their infantile bickering on the subject and, after telling them to give it a rest and being ignored, shouts at them about being like a couple of kids and leaves the room, slamming the door behind him.

Tony has sought out Brian to tell him in person that Lee has left, rather than Brian hearing about it as gossip. Brian politely simulates interest in Helen's love-life or lack of it, wondering whether Titchener had anything to do with it: he's devious enough. This of course winds Tony up, though Brian clearly didn't intend that, and Tony says he wouldn't put anything past that man. Brian expresses hope that it may turn out to be a temporary thing, but Tony has realised that Helen is definite about it, though he hopes the two might yet get back together, for both their sakes. He then suggests that he is holding Brian up; Brian is only looking through brochures for robot weeders, and Tony seems rather to like the idea of machines which would do the weeding for him: he has some to do, and on a Sunday too. The Brian's phone rings, and he apologetically says he'd better take the call; Tony does go. After he is well out of the way and the door is firmly shut behind him Brian unmutes the phone and brusquely says, 'All right, Titchener; just tell me what you want and make it quick.'

Suitably chastened, Josh and Lily have gone up to apologise to Paul; they claim it was just banter, and Paul tells them that to him it sounds petty and not very nice: he's not sure he wants to live with it. It's not a healthy environment and it's doing them no good, he preaches. They promise amendment, and at once start to disagree about the party which Lily now assumes is going to happen just as she wants it to; after a bit Paul determines that he is going to arrange the party, since he would rather be the one who is carped at. They might have been about to argue some more, but the doorbell rings and he goes to answer the door. The moment he is gone, Lily starts to lay down the law about what is to happen in which room at the party and Josh to object to her demands, but Paul brings his mother in and they both pipe down. Paul wants to know what Denise wants, to be visiting before nine o'clock on a Sunday morning.

This time Brian has sought out Tony in order to tell him something, but it takes a long time before he can get Tony to stop telling him why he must be there, and to listen to what he has to say. When Tony does stop wittering about leaving things behind and having to be rung up so he can find his phone, and then about Oliver and Grey Gables, Brian tells him that the phone call was from Rob Titchener. This shuts Tony up briefly before he suspiciously asks what Rob wanted. Brian explains that Rob asked whether Brian would act as his sponsor at his baptism on Wednesday. Tony exclaims in outrage and hopes he didn't agree; Brian told him to get lost, but he felt Tony ought to know about it.

After Paul has sat Denise down with a cup of coffee and a slice of cake, plus some good-natured banter, she explains that her problem is that Uncle Rufus has invited himself to stay, or rather conned her husband into inviting him. Paul at once assumes she wants him to be there and see this relation, and sounds off about him at length, not letting Denise tell him what the big favour she wants to ask actually is, because he is so busy yacking on about what he imagines it might be. Eventually she manages to shut him up, and explains what she wants. Can she come and stay with Paul for a while? She can't face the prospect of being told how to organise the cutlery drawer, or how to cook potatoes, or the man spouting his weird views, so she is doing a runner. She has invented a course in Bradford she has to go on; that means she can't stay at home, so she needs somewhere to stay herself. She has told him now, so she can't be there. Paul spells it out: so she will be there while Uncle Rufus is around? Can she, she begs; plee-e-ease? Doesn't Dad mind? Has she told him the real reason, that she's avoiding Uncle Rufus? Not exactly, she prevaricates. Paul feels strongly that she ought to tell Dad the truth: it's sure to come back and bite her if she doesn't. Would she like Paul to give him a call? She really wouldn't, but if it's too much trouble her being there, then... Paul protests that of course she can stay, and Lily and Josh will be fine with it; in any case they owe him one. [And whose bedroom is she going to sleep in while she is there? Chris.]

Brian is trying to soothe Tony, telling him that he felt that if Titchener managed to let Tony know about it later that might make things difficult between them, and Tony agrees that it is always better to be forewarned. He doesn't entirely agree with Brian saying there is not much he can do: that remains to be seen, he states ominously. There's a lot to think through first: for instance, what's the significance of Rob asking Brian? Brian doesn't think there is necessarily any, but Tony is convinced that Rob is up to something. Still, at least Brian having told him means that Tony can be prepared. When Brian doesn't really see how, Tony starts talking about making informed decisions; Brian is increasingly puzzled by his obsessive mutterings and tries to talk sense into him, with precious little success. Tony doesn't know yet what Rob is up to, but it's sure to be something bad. Brian counsels being very careful before he does anything, and Tony tells him not to worry: he does intend to be careful. Brian suggests that doing nothing might yet be the best policy, but Tony isn't having that: oh no, something will have to be done, he intones. It's just a matter of deciding what.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 30th October, 2023

Will one winning team lead to another? Can Jazzer handle 'Pigs Plus'?

Characters: Paul, Hannah, Jazzer, Alistair, Stella
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

At Berrow, Paul and Alistair are carrying out an inspection of the pigs; Paul mentions that he is slow off the mark because his mum is staying so he slept on the sofa, and you can't get top quality sleep on a sofa; Hannah knows all about that. Rather than discuss her own homeless state she inquires why his mum is staying with him, and is told she is avoiding a difficult relative but they plan to keep her amused: they are holding a Halloween party, to which obviously Hannah is invited, and there's the quiz tonight; Paul's team is only him and Stella at the minute so she'd be a welcome addition. Hannah isn't keen; she doesn't know Stella and she hates quizzes, but mainly she just doesn't feel like it at the moment.

Meantime Jazzer is trying to sell Alistair the Grundy Halloween trail and failing; Alistair is more interested in doing his job. Apart from anything else, he was meant to see one of Tony's Anguses on Wednesday but Tony isn't going to be there that day, so he's having to see the animal on Tuesday and that has crowded his schedule. He promises he'll go to Eddie's Halloween trail if he can. Anyway, is Jazzer getting commission? No, he's just recommending it to people who look like they could use a laugh, like Alistair and Hannah. She's very low: she has seen one place that she thinks would do, but it's near her mother in Preston, which would mean she left Berrow. Alistair is sorry to hear she might be going, and Jazzer will be absolutely and totally gutted.

After the vet party has gone, Hannah and Jazzer compare notes, with Hannah being downbeat about the idea of the quiz night; Paul is a bit too sparky for the way she's feeling at the moment. Jazzer says that Paul means well, and she knows that: she'll miss him when she's gone. She's done what she can to stay, and she loves the work and the place and the people, but she's been thinking about what happens when she has to leave and someone has to replace her. Jazzer says they won't be as good, and she surprises him by saying that it should be someone like him. Actually him. He laughs, but she is serious: Neil would back him, and she'd put in a word. He isn't enthusiastic: he does pigs, not paperwork, and anyway he has a history of mouthing off, and he doesn't think the BL board would give him half a glance.

The quiz team still consists only of Paul and Stella, and Paul is embarrassed because he said there would be no problem getting more members and hasn't got anyone. He says they all made excuses or said the thought of it was too much; the thought of a quiz, asks Stella dubiously, to which Paul replies straightfaced that yes, either the quiz of the make-up of their team put people off: the prospect was just too intimidating. She is vaguely worried: do people really find her intimidating? Maybe she should have done the asking and frightened them into saying yes. As she is saying she doesn't want to tag onto another team, Hannah unexpectedly comes over: Jodie wanted to invite someone back and asked if she could make herself scarce for the evening, and she thought she'd do the quiz rather than moping about on her own. All she's doing is making up numbers; she won't be joining in. Paul suggests they call themselves The Late Arrivals, and introduces Stella to her as 'the team powerhouse who knows everything'. Then the bell rings and they're off! A picture round, with twenty people to identify; Paul and Stella both start to hum and haw, while Hannah at once recognises Humphrey Bogart and Cleopatra.

Just as Jazzer leaves the pub for a fag-break Alistair arrives wanting a quiet drink; he had forgotten it was quiz night. The Late Arrivals apparently won, though Jazzer and Tracy didn't do badly; Alistair is surprised Hannah was in that, because Paul told him she didn't do quizzes, but Jazzer tells him she did this one and aced it. Jazzer adds that Paul has his ma staying with him, which it turns out Alistair already knew: he thought of going over to say hello, but then didn't. After a slightly awkward pause Jazzer tells him about Hannah having told him that he should apply for her job when she leaves, and Alistair is delighted and says he should, and good for her for suggesting it.

The Late Arrivals have been given bar credit for their first prize and are making the most of it. Stella asks what happened to 'silent partner', to which Paul adds 'knowing all that stuff can't just be luck!' Paul is very glad Hannah did 'interrupt', and it's clear Hannah is feeling a bit better. Stella does not stint her praise: fancy knowing all that kings and queens stuff, and all that volcanic islands stuff. Paul remarks it was a great night out, to which Stella agrees; he then says he will try his mother on the Ambridge Bonfire Night and the three discuss that: Hannah had heard it was off, Stella tells her it was fixed, and Paul is glad that Kenton and Jolene are going to control all the fireworks: he hates all those heavy-duty explosions, for the sake of the animals. Stella has heard they are looking at decent, well-behaved fireworks this year, which Paul feels is an excuse for another drink. He goes to the bar to get the same again all round, leaving Stella and Hannah to talk together. Stella calls him a trouper and Hannah a heart of gold, after which Hannah says she can sympathise with him sleeping on a sofa for his mum's sake, since she's having to do the same and can find nowhere to rent; Stella mentions that there's a spare room at the bungalow. This sounds to Hannah too good to be true, and when it turns out to depend on Brookfield not on Stella she isn't surprised nor particularly disappointed, since her hopes were not high in the first place. Stella then seeks for reassurance that she isn't scary, as Paul says she is. They agree that she speaks her mind but is not frightening really, and it's just Paul having a joke, but when Paul gets back with the drinks Stella asks him to confirm that it actually is a joke.

Outside, Jazzer continues to haver about the very idea of trying for Hannah's job, and Alistair gives him plenty of encouragement, ending up by telling him that a man's reach should exceed his grasp [though he draws the line at 'or what's a heaven for'. Chris], which Jazzer doesn't really understand until Alistair says he can have the pigs and something else as well: pigs plus, Jazzer says, relieved. Alistair has been thinking lately about not dithering over chances, but taking them. He'd hate Jazzer to miss out; Jazzer agrees to give it a go.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 31st October, 2023

In Ambridge nobody can hear you knock, but the creaking plots are audible for miles.

Characters: Jazzer, Hannah, Denise, Alistair, Stella
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

At Berrow, Hannah is demonstrating the admin side of her job to Jazzer, who is doing his best to show computer-willing, and telling him he'll hardly have to use the computer at all and that she is glad he decided to go for it. ['It' being a vacancy which doesn't exist yet. Chris.]

Later, Hannah and Denise meet outside the shop; Denise has heard that Hannah is moving away, and Hannah tells her it's not by choice but because she can't find anywhere to live, though she has a vague hope after yesterday's conversation with Stella. Denise has little patience with Hannah's diffidence about asking to rent the room at The Bungalow [Hannah's silliest voiced objection being that she doesn't want to because Brookfield already had to turn her down when they closed the B&B: surely in that case they would be glad rather than reluctant to help her after all? Chris], and laughingly persuades her at least to ask.

The party at The Stables has got loud, and Alistair, who is trying to work across the yard, hammers on the door and is surprised when Denise opens it. She immediately bellows to Paul that he is to turn it down, and he does. Alistair apologises for shouting at her, and she shuts the party into the house and comes out to talk to him. She flirts with him, and after ample encouragement he awkwardly suggests they might go together to the Grundys' Halloween trail in Leader's Wood.

Hannah has gone to The Bungalow, which she claims to have been 'just passing' even though it is on a track from Brookfield farmhouse which goes nowhere else, to ask Stella about the room. Having failed to ring the doorbell and knocked on the door instead, she initially flannels about having come to pay her share of the quiz team entry fee, and Stella tells her Paul paid it and she should talk to him, but as she turns to leave she plucks up her courage to say that there was something else. Could she come in?

The Halloween trail is full of noisy howls, creaking doors and screeches, and Alistair and Denise have been given costumes as part of the fee; he is a green-faced ghoul with a swishy green cloak, and she is a witch. She flirts with him some more, and they decide to go and meet The Witch (which Denise instantly knows will be Clarrie) and then go to 'squidge a vampire', but before they're done they must try some of Clarrie's barmbrack. Alistair says the barmbrack is great but the tokens are rubbish: he was given some to try and got a ring, which signifies that he will be married within a year. He laughs the idea to scorn, but Denise says it is good news for some lucky lady. After a pause Alistair tells Denise to come on: Clarrie's witch first, then the barmbrack and then squidge a vampire.

Stella offers more coffee and reassures Hannah that there was nothing awkward about her asking about the room: if she really didn't want Hannah there she would simply say no. Hannah asks if that is what she's saying, and gets very tangled up about what she is actually asking; Stella straightens it out for her and explains it's all right and she understands what she is asking, to Hannah's relief. She can't give a definite answer about the room until she has cleared it with Brookfield, and there are other considerations [by which she probably means Pip. Chris], but it's not a bad idea. Hannah begs her not to worry, but Stella thinks they get on all right: does Hannah agree? Hannah definitely does. And it would help with the rent, so yeah, she'll put it to David and Ruth and she'll give it some serious consideration. Hannah is very grateful. Stella will let her know as soon as she can, and is glad she asked.

Denise brings Alistair a big wodge of barmbrack, though she isn't having any herself because she had her palm read last year and was told there would be romance at work; Alistair remembers that was Adil hinting at Jakob. When he eventually eats his slice of the cake, he gets a ring again and decides that all the slices must have had rings in them; probably Eddie got them as a job lot somewhere. Denise disputes this, claiming to have seen other people getting other tokens such as coins and planes, so Alistair's fate is sealed: wed within the year. He'll have to start looking, she tells him coyly. Alistair changes the subject to how her placement is going, and she says it is coming to an end in a week or two; he says eagerly that she'll be back with them, then, but she was going to talk to him about that. If she comes back, that's in place of Paul, and she knows Paul and Alistair get on, so she was wondering: this job, and working with Alistair, has meant the world to Paul, and she thought that if she finds somewhere else then Alistair might ask Lovell James to renew Paul's contract. Alistair asks what her husband John thinks; she hasn't said anything about this to him yet, but she's sure he'd just be pleased to see Paul settled. Nobly, Alistair says that Paul must stay on; of course he must. He'll do what he can.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 1st November, 2023

The wind is taken out of Lily's sails, and elsewhere there is the non-event of the year.

Characters: Bruce, Miles, Alan, Lily, Josh, Tony
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

At an unspecified church somewhere, Bruce is telling Miles that he doesn't believe that someone splashing magic water on Rob is going to make the slightest difference to anything. He continues to be offensive about religion to Alan, who informs him, deadpan, that he is not shocked by this, not even rising to the bait when told that the Church is the hiding-place of the weak and the inadequate. He does however say that he had assumed they would be at the baptism for Rob's sake, an illusion of which Bruce swiftly disabuses him. When told that Rob is resting in the car, Bruce instructs Miles to fetch him: if no-one else is coming they might as well get on with this. When Miles does as he is told, Bruce offensively invites Alan to admit that he would rather not be there, to which Alan robustly responds that it is nothing to do with what he wants, and, while Bruce laughs sardonically at his own perceptiveness, adds that he promised Rob he would support him through his baptism and intends to do it. When Bruce says Rob won't thank him for it, Alan remarks cheerfully that in that case it's just as well he isn't doing it for the thanks, isn't it. They are then interrupted by what Bruce immediately recognises as 'Farmer Giles' coming in.

Cleaning the house after the party is the occasion for Lily to be unpleasant to Josh and carp at him about how he is going about it, with a small side-helping of snide about Paul being at work being the reason he is not helping when Josh suggests that he ought to be. Josh is pleased for Paul about his contract being extended; Lily mentions in a disparaging way that Alistair put in a good word for him. Josh's suggestion that Denise should be helping is shot down on the grounds that she wasn't really at the party, and he admits she is 'kind of' a guest, then adds that she is great; she's good to have around. Lily concedes that but at once starts on another whinge, about bathroom use, and then about Paul and all his stuff being in the living-room without any information for them as to how long this will be for. Josh thinks it would help if they had an end-date and Lily reckons it would be perfectly reasonable to ask, not Paul but Denise; they ought to confront her. Josh is quick to say 'not while Paul's around' before adding that he must get back to work so they'll have to leave the clearing up for now. Lily has an essay to do, and decides they will finish the clearing up tonight and then have a word with Denise.

As Alan pursues Tony into the churchyard, Tony apologises for walking out of the church when he saw Bruce; he thought it best to keep his distance, which Alan regards as probably wise. Alan wants to know what Tony is doing there, and Tony is reluctant to commit himself about it. After a little fencing, he admits he doesn't know, but he won't spoil it for Alan. Alan tells him that he won't be taking the service: the Reverend Nikita Berry is doing so; when Tony asks who, he says she's a colleague, because he refused to baptise Rob, and he doesn't want Tony making things difficult for Nik. Tony can't reassure him, saying that he doesn't know himself, then asks if Rob is there yet. Alan apparently left him in the vestry: he's not well, walking with a stick and a bit confused. Before any more can be said Bruce comes out to chivvy them into the church on the grounds they are about to start, and all Alan can do is say 'please, Tony' in an imploring undervoice. He then points out that the service is not about to start: it is at eleven thirty and they have five minutes Bruce would like to get this over and done with, and at this point Rob makes his appearance in order to say that it will all be done with soon enough and to greet Tony by name, saying that it's good to see him there. This annoys Bruce, who says 'I was talking to you' [which he wasn't. Chris] and then when Rob continues to speak to Tony gets increasingly angry and hectoring. Rob apologises to him, which doesn't stop Bruce being unpleasant about his appealing for pity and then turning his back on Bruce. His attacks on the stammering Rob make it clear that Bruce is just a little unbalanced; eventually Alan firmly calls a halt to his meandering nastiness, saying 'that's enough' in a stern voice and over-riding Bruce as he starts to argue angrily and say 'one moment': Alan loudly tells him they haven't got one moment, Mister Titchener, and then gently invites Rob to come in with him, since the service is about to start.

When Josh gets home he find to his surprise that the house has been completely cleared and cleaned; Lily tells him that it wasn't her; she went down to the shops and then she had a coffee, and when she got back it was all done. Josh murmurs 'elves', reverently, but Lily knows it was Denise because she left a message for them: she did it to say thank-you-for-having-me, and is making something special for dinner tonight. Lily and Josh at once decide that she can stay, with Lily saying they should be a bit more chill about her presence and see how things go.

After the service Rob manages to catch Tony as he is leaving and invites him to the pub; Tony politely declines to spend any more time with 'the three of us, and Alan too if he can make it'. Rob concedes that perhaps that's best under the circumstances, and that he must have a word with Reverend Berry but no doubt he will see Tony around. Tony snorts, and Rob says again that he was grateful to Tony for coming, then admits to no longer being able to be sure what he has and hasn't said: he means to say things and then thinks he's already said them. He was really hoping that Helen might be there; then it would have been so much more special. Tony is at a loss for words; Rob adds the he does care, she has a special place in ... Always will have. He still loves her. Very much. Tony tries to get away, but Rob asks him to wait: if she'd come, that would have been such a special thing. Then he notes that Tony isn't saying anything, and almost wonderingly Tony says 'no', and when Rob appealingly asks if he has nothing to say to him, just says 'no' again, this time with finality: he has nothing to say to him. Nothing at all. he walks away leaving Rob to breathe as if for sobs.

Before Tony can leave altogether, Alan comes up to ask whether he is all right; Tony supposes that he is, then asks accusingly whether Alan is going to the pub. Alan absolutely does not intend to; he doesn't want to spend another minute with 'that man', by whom Tony assumes he means Rob's father. He just thought he should check on Tony before leaving; Tony feels that he ought to tell Alan that he was meaning to do something during the service. Alan asks why else he would come, but Tony continues: he honestly didn't know what, maybe even as bad as hitting Rob. That was what Alan was worried about: it's meant to be a service of hope and light, and he could see all that going down the drain if Bruce Titchener had anything to do with it. That was what made Tony change his mind, in the end: when he turned on his own son, and there was one tiny moment when Rob looked back and caught Tony's eye, with a look he'd seen before in Helen. It was 'Please don't look at me, I'm worthless.' He doesn't know he'd go so far as to say he felt sorry for him, and he's certainly not ready to forgive, but a little stab of pity maybe. Tony thinks he wanted him punished more than anything else, but he's close to dying, and his father doesn't love him, so Rob's whole life has been a punishment. It doesn't need anything else from Tony.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 2nd November, 2023

Rob holds up the traffic; should Pip go and play in it?

Characters: Harrison, Alan, Pip, Ruth, Stella, Rob
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Discussion of Rob and his father by Alan and Harrison is on the whole negative, which is also how Alan describes Bruce: negative and destructive. Alan is worried because his being at the baptism will be disapproved of, and he is already persona non grata to quite a lot of Ambridge; there is a meeting tomorrow about making the church more eco-friendly, which he expects people will boycott. Harrison asks about the result of the last meeting, and whether Alan knows who did the graffiti; he did but has no plans to take it further, which Harrison accepts. Whilst Harrison is being positive and encouraging, his phone rings.

The plate-meter readings aren't bad, according to Pip, and she and Ruth discuss whether to leave the cows out for a few more days rather than put them onto winter silage, with Stella joining in. Stella can't stay, having only come over to discuss whether she is still coming over to Rickyard for Rosie's request, spaghetti at supper tomorrow: if so she can get some fresh from Borchester in the morning. As she is about to leave she remembers that she also intended to ask Ruth whether it would be possible for Hannah Riley to rent a room at the Bungalow as a lodger; Ruth is sure something could be worked out, and has always felt bad about not having been able to offer her the B&B room at Brookfield. Pip asks when this would be starting, and Stella says quite soon, if that's what's decided; Pip is dubious about such speed when they have known each other for three days, but Ruth expresses her sympathy for Hannah and how hard it's been for her, and feels that the quicker they can sort something the better. Stella agrees that it's always best done quickly when it comes to moving home and Ruth says it's always better to strike while the iron is hot. As she and Stella laugh about this together, Pip stomps off saying she will make a start on mending a fence.

Harrison agrees with someone called Kevin that he'll go straight to somewhere, and apologises to Alan for having to leave: someone has just called the station and asked for him by name, says his brother's acting strangely and he's worried about his safety. The brother is sitting on a traffic island just outside Borchester and obstructing the traffic; Alan asks whether this might by any chance be Rob Titchener, and Harrison tells him Miles said Rob would only talk to Harrison. Alan asks to be told if there is anything he can do.

Having noticed Pip's stalking off in mid-conversation, Stella asks if Ruth thinks Pip is all right. Ruth is reassuring; she thinks Pip is just embarrassed about the moving in business, and Stella says they've talked about it and Pip agreed it wasn't a good idea. [I assume this refers to Pip moving into The Bungalow, but that was not actually what was said. Chris.] Ruth agrees that it wasn't, and Stella yet again tells Ruth that she is taking her relationship with Pip seriously, cares about her, and would never do anything to hurt her. Ruth does know this, but it means a lot to her that Stella has said so and she thanks her. The two laugh about the spaghetti. Ruth feels that mebbe she'd better go and lend Pip a hand sorting out the fencing, and Stella says she thinks Pip will be all right: embarrassment's a fleeting thing, and never lasts long, does it.

There is much honking going on when Harrison finds and greets Miles, who will explain whatever Harrison wants if Harrison will first move Rob, but Harrison wants to know what has happened because he doesn't want to upset Rob by saying the wrong thing. It seems that Rob simply got out of the car when Miles slowed down at a traffic island on the way into Borchester to buy some things for Rob's flat, and is now refusing to talk to anyone but Harrison. Nothing in particular has happened to set him off, it's just his condition taking him over. Miles sounds understandably upset by the whole business: Rob has lost his mum, and his son, and Helen, and now he's about to – Miles is his brother and he's supposed to help him but he doesn't know how or even if it's possible. Harrison goes to have a word with Rob, asking Miles to wait where he is.

When he approaches Rob, Rob for a while is unable to remember his name, but when he is told what it is does remember having asked Miles for him. Rob's conversation is decidedly confused and what he actually wants is unclear, but Harrison discovers that he is sorry for being a nuisance to the traffic but does have to be there, because he is waiting for Jesus. He quotes the bible about Jesus passing by; he plans to call out to him as the people in the bible did, and be healed as they were. There's a chance, there must be, because no-one else can do it. Harrison points out that there is a difficulty: since nothing is moving because Rob has stopped the traffic, Jesus can't come by. Rob at once accepts that he is in the way and this isn't going to work, and adds that anyway Jesus might not stop for him because he might not think it worth it. He needs a different approach; he needs to move away. Harrison offers to ask his officers to get the traffic moving and keep their eyes peeled, and let Jesus know where Rob will be; Rob agrees, and Harrison helps him to his feet. When Rob asks where they will go Harrison says he'll talk to Miles about that, but it will be somewhere safe.

Pip has come into the farmhouse and Ruth offers her a cup of coffee before she goes back out, but Pip brusquely refuses, and Ruth asks what is the matter with her. It then becomes clear that Pip has only come in to pick a fight with her mother, whom she accuses of being unable to resist sticking her oar into Pip's relationship with Stella. Ruth asks when this is supposed to have happened, and gets accused of finding the idea of Pip and Stella moving in together so soon [which was not being laughed about, nor mentioned by Ruth. Chris] a laugh. Ruth remarks that she thought the two of them had agreed, and Pip bursts out that Ruth can't resist it; Ruth protests that it was too soon and Stella said Pip agreed it was; Pip furiously tells her that she had no right to question her about that. Ruth replies that she didn't question her, and Pip bursts out that Ruth really does have a problem with them, doesn't she. Ruth is incredulous, so Pip explains: with her and Stella. According to Pip, Ruth says she doesn't but she so obviously does, and really, it's nothing to do with her, so why doesn't she stay out of Pip's business from now on?

Rob is being angry because Helen was not at the baptism, and saying that he should have insisted, he had that right: Miles let him down there. Harrison ignores this and asks if Rob wants to get in the car and sit down for a bit; Rob instructs him to tell Miles that next time, he expects her to be there. Miles helps him into the car, and Harrison breathes a sigh of relief: at least he's out of harm's way. Miles doesn't know what happens next, and Harrison makes it clear Rob can't go back to his flat on his own in the state he is in; when Miles asks 'so where?' Harrison tells him that if Rob gets any worse he could be taken to a hospital or a designated place of safety. Miles says he could take Rob home with him for a few days, the family home in Hampshire, and Harrison thinks that might be best and familiar surroundings might help. Miles has found it all horrible; Harrison tells him that he has done his best and Rob will appreciate that, but Miles is not sure he will. He adds that Rob's always painted himself as the victim in all this, the innocent victim, and now Miles is not so sure that's how things really were. Harrison grunts in agreement, then says the best thing Miles can do now is take his brother home.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 3rd November, 2023

Harrison hopes to have started things snowballing; Brian fears that Peggy might.

Characters: Stella, Pip, Harrison, Alan, Ruth, Brian
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Whilst cooking spaghetti at Rickyard, Stella makes sure Pip doesn't feel territorial about her kitchen, then manages to remain cheerful and chatty in the face of Pip being monosyllabic and grumpy, gossiping about the fireworks at The Bull and Eddie Grundy having a mate who can get hold of quiet ones, but when Pip is outright rude about it ('fascinating' in a dull voice doesn't really convey interest) Stella asks what is the matter with her. Pip tries to put her in the wrong by asking her if she really isn't going to talk about 'this', but Stella isn't falling for that and asks what 'this' is. Pip crossly supposes that answers her question.

The Traffic Incident is being explained to Alan by Harrison: as Miles drove away Harrison thought it might be the last he ever sees of Rob Titchener. He was going back to Hampshire; would that be in the care of his 'loving' father, Alan asks bleakly. Harrison hopes not, with Alan adding that Rob won't be getting much sympathy there, though Harrison points out that he will at least have his brother. They speak about the Eco-Church meeting; Alan is not optimistic about the prospect of anyone turning up for it, but Harrison is strangely sanguine.

Pip has now started in on her incoherent grievance, which starts by being about 'you and Mum in a huddle laughing about me'; Stella says that was nothing, and Pip is incredulous: nothing? Not to her! She felt that Stella let her down by doing that. She wants to know what the big joke was and what they were laughing about; the incredulous Stella cannot credit that she thought they were laughing about her, and Pip's jealousy emerges: Hannah wants to move in and Stella can't wait to sign on the dotted line. But when Pip suggests the exact same thing, suddenly it's a joke. [If Pip can't see there's a difference between a lodger and a lover, she really isn't ready for an adult relationship. Chris.] When Stella suggests it's different and asks whether Pip can't see that, Pip either can't or won't: she asks how it is different, which leads Stella to say that's pretty obvious. Pip then demands that Stella is to tell Hannah she can't move in; tell her it's not going to happen, Stella hasn't got the space. Stella is not going to do that: if Pip stops and thinks for a moment she'll realise that's ridiculous. And unfair. Pip has now worked herself up into a right old state and offends herself about the word 'ridiculous'. Stella tells her that she hasn't made up her mind yet, but asks whether Pip seriously thinks this is going to influence her? Pip admits she doesn't. She then apologises and says she feels muddled, and got at because she thought they were laughing at her. Very kindly and patiently [as to a five-year-old. Chris] Stella explains that no-one is doing that and she doesn't know why Pip thought they might be. Pip admits that is what Ruth said too, and Stella realises that she's had a go at her mother as well. Pip admits to having shouted at her quite a lot, and told her to keep out of Pip's business, and Dad to as well, and now she's feeling bad about it. She told Mum that she obviously had a problem with 'us', her and Stella. Gently Stella asks whether she thinks that's true, and Pip doubtfully says 'maybe?' and then 'no', and then 'I don't know.' Stella asks whether she does realise they care for her, and softly reassures her that she does care very much, and also that Ruth and David do: if they ever seem over-anxious at all it's because they care... Pip seems to realise just how silly she has been being and says it's not them, it's her [True dat. Chris] ; she just can't shake off this feeling she's being judged, and laughed at. Stella assures her she isn't; and even if she were would it matter what other people think? Pip says it matters what Stella thinks, and Stella tells her that's different, then suggests they ought to go over to Brookfield under a white flag and Pip agrees; tonight. Pip then suggests that while they are there they could scrounge some dinner, because [as a result of her distracting Stella. Chris] the spaghetti is ruined: it's all stuck together.

Ruth has turned up for the meeting at the church and tells Alan she was told the farming perspective was important, then goes to have a word with Mia Grundy before she has to go and cook for Pip, who has just sent her an SOS. Alan has now worked out that Harrison had a hand in the crowd that has turned out, since so many of them are, like Ruth, not members of his congregation; Harrison tries to pretend ignorance but without success, so he admits he called in a few favours. Alan isn't ungrateful but feels it's a false picture, but Harrison says that their actually coming is a start and might be the beginning of a trend. And there is one person there Harrison didn't invite: Brian is coming their way. Brian just wants a moment with Alan, but that can't be done because the meeting has to start, so he agrees to stay and speak to Alan at the end [as if. Gus].

Pip is telling Ruth she's handled this all wrong and she's sorry. She really, really didn't mean to tell Ruth to mind her own business. Ruth is also apologetic, as if Pip's completely unfounded accusations had had a word of truth in them. Stella admits that their laughing might have looked pretty conspiratorial but it was just mates laughing together, and she and Ruth set out to smooth Pip's ruffled feathers. Pip acknowledges that it was her getting jumpy at things that were never really there: is she forgiven? Ruth freely forgives her; Stella asks whether they still get dinner. Ruth says that can be arranged and sends Pip off to see how Rosie is getting on helping David with the mashed potatoes. Stella thanks Ruth for getting the balancing act spot on, and Ruth says that Poor Pip feels these things so deeply. She wants to know what Stella meant when she said 'mates laughing': is that what they still are? Stella thought they always were, but Ruth thinks that her being Stella's partner's mother is a different relationship; Stella reckons they are still mates but are grown-up enough to be more than one thing at a time.

What Brian has come to do is tell Alan that he is there with a message from the family, specifically from Peggy. It's more or less a declaration of her intentions: they don't include a return to church, and they don't – he's sorry, these are not his views – they don't include forgiveness, either. Alan asks forgiveness to whom, and for what, and Brian rather embarrassedly tells him that it's him, as Brian understands it, for his support of Rob Titchener. She also wants Alan to know that she will be cancelling her regular donation to the church; she told Brian she makes a substantial donation every month by standing order and is putting an end to that while things are as they are. Alan comments that this really is putting the boot in, isn't it. Brian tells him all this Titchener business rankles with Peggy, as it does with a lot of people. Alan remarks that it's not the sort of gesture he was looking for, he must say, and undoubtedly they will miss her donation, but he is not going to let this persuade him into doing what he believes would be the wrong thing. For what it's worth, Brian agrees with him: if a thing's right, it's right. Alan thanks him for that. Brian hasn't finished: the cost might turn out to be more than just Peggy's contribution, if others follow suit. Alan asks whether that is likely, and Brian regretfully tells him that Peggy has said she will make sure everyone knows what she is doing and why. There will be a public statement of some kind, the hope being that others would be encouraged to do the same thing, to follow, as Peggy puts it, their own consciences. Prompted by her example, Alan says dryly. Brian concurs, adding that as far as he can see that might actually lead to the church losing a sizeable amount: a snowball becoming an avalanche.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 5th November, 2023

To nobody's surprise, Bonfire Night does go with a bang.

Characters: Usha, Alan, Joy, Eddie, Kirsty, George, Kenton
Credited scriptwriter:
Avin Shah
Director:
Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Alan is sweeping the church, and Usha is trying to get him to come out to the fireworks with her in time to see the bonfire being lit. He really doesn't want to. Then Joy arrives looking for some gloves she thinks she left behind after the morning service, and shows every sign of staying and talking after Usha has found them for her, so Usha goes out and leaves Joy and Alan to it. They talk first about the Flower and Produce Show, and Alan asks whether she has spoken to Jill recently, or Peggy.

On the green, Eddie is asking George to help him making the bonfire, and Kirsty is reading out the instructions Mia has written up about how it is to be done [why isn't Mia doing it if she cares so much? Chris], which irritates George. Kenton is delighted by Kirsty's contribution to the fire, a huge mass of brambles which he thinks should burn well. She congratulates him on the way he's arranged for the al fresco bar to be well-lit so everyone will know where it is. He's also well-pleased that Grey Gables cancelled the event. Eddie says they should wait to see the fireworks, and Kenton promises quiet fireworks with hardly any noise at all. Kirsty wants to know where he found those, and Eddie says that's for him to know and her to enjoy; Kenton gives credit to Mia for inspiring them after the incident at The Stables. Now some of the neighbours are trying to get the bonfire moved to Jubilee Field next year [where it was in 2014. Chris] and claiming the fireworks traumatise their pets, though Kenton points out the three members of the bonfire committee whom he expects to be on his side about keeping the event on the green. He is banking on Eddie's quiet fireworks to swing the rest. He has to get on, though Kirsty asks him to shake her one of his special cocktails; he says that if she gives Emma a hand putting up the rest of the lights she can have a Guy Fawkes Grenade (which he describes as 'explosive') on the house and she sets out at once to help. Kenton then asks Eddie what the story is with Oliver, and George also wants to know what he plans to sell because Ed was wondering about that; Eddie is firm in saying that nothing has happened and that Kenton knows as much as he does, and asks if he looks like he owns a crystal bell.

In the church, Alan is telling Joy that numbers are increasing steadily and it's Remembrance Sunday next week; she makes cheerful responses to the effect that maybe by then some of the old faces will have returned [having been away for how long? One service? Chris], and Alan hopes they will have done so. She asks if he has found out who did the graffiti on the door, and he says off-handedly that it doesn't matter now, then adds that it was lovely to see her face in the congregation again: he's missed her the past few weeks. She is apologetic: he does understand she was in a tricky position and didn't want Pat and Helen to think, well, she just didn't think she could come. She now feels that it's one thing showing solidarity but it's not very Christian to hold a grudge, is it? Alan is grateful she's back; he ruminates that the irony is that Helen herself seemed pretty philosophical about it, and it's Peggy, Lilian and Pat who seem most upset. Joy recommends that he should give it time; maybe things will be different once Rob Titchener... she breaks off. Maybe Helen will bring the boys to the fireworks later and she and Alan can have a bit of a catch-up. Alan is not sure anyone wants him there, but Joy is determined that he must go: he has to face them sooner or later, and he looks as if he needs cheering up.

Usha congratulates Kenton on the turnout and the bonfire, and he tells her and Kirsty to wait till they see the nearly-silent fireworks; Mia is being their eco-constable and preventing people from turning up with guys to burn on the bonfire so he needs to go and have a word, and bustles off. Usha asks Kirsty if she knows whether Helen is coming; Kirsty doesn't think so, and Usha expresses her surprise that Helen and Lee have split up: it makes you a bit less complacent about your own relationship. Not much surprises Kirsty these days but yes, that really did. Alan then arrives and Usha goes off to police him, while Kirsty goes off to help Kenton and Mia against the eco-vandals.

George and Eddie continue to set up the pyro, and George continues to pester Eddie about what Oliver plans to do and why Eddie and Clarrie are not being in a tizzy about whatever it might be going to be. Eddie tells him it's just rumours, but George won't shut up about it until Eddie tells him point-blank there's no point in them all getting het up about it when nothing's finalised and the best thing they can do is stay positive. George seems unconvinced, but Kirsty interrupts to tell them Mia and Kenton need some help with the people who have brought guys and want to burn them, and George is told off to go and be a heavy in a hi-viz jacket.

Alan is feeling ostracised; Pat and Tony blanked him, and he found out today that Jill and Lilian have followed Peggy and terminated their standing orders to the church fund; she is sure they'll get tired of it once they realise Helen's moved on. This doesn't stop Alan from worrying about the finances, and the PCC picked up on it straight away [since Friday when Peggy announced what she was going to do; quick work. Chris] and were concerned. Usha tells him that all he is doing here is showing his face to give people a chance to move on. He however would rather be at home, and goes off there.

Joy and Kirsty are lighting their silent eco-sparklers, which are bio-degradable but otherwise just like ordinary ones, and playing infantile fencing games with them; one of them nearly stabs George. The Eddie starts lighting the fireworks, which [to no listener's surprise, I suspect. Chris] are as noisy as on any other year. Kenton is horrified, and George remarks that Mia is not going to be a happy bunny.

Kenton comes over to Eddie and tries to make him realise what a bad idea it was to buy noisy fireworks from Terry Two-Phones and probably lose them the gig, but Eddie is entirely unrepentant. Everyone enjoyed themselves, so what's the problem? Kenton furiously tells him that Terry Two-Phones may not owe Eddie anything, but Eddie owes Kenton, big time.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 6th November, 2023

Jazzer is way out of his depth and the Grundys are well out of order.

Characters: Tracy, Jazzer, Eddie, Ed, Oliver, Hannah
Credited scriptwriter:
Avin Shah
Director:
Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Clearly reluctant to get to work, Jazzer is still at the Green when Tracy gets up, so she makes him a flask to take with him and sends him off with a pep-talk about his putative new job taking over from Hannah at Berrow. He puts off the evil hour by talking about Eddie getting an earful from Kenton, with Tracy replying in the mistaken belief that 'there's no such thing as silent fireworks', and then saying he's not late, but she is determined: Hannah is doing him a big favour training him up. He eventually admits to her that he doesn't really want the promotion and is happy out of doors. She tells him he has absolutely nothing to be worried about. Besides, think of the money. He agrees it would be nice not to be skint all the time, buts cavils that he doesn't want to let Tracy down. She tells him that she believes in him, and he mustn't forget to believe in himself.

Out in the fields at Grange Farm, Ed and Eddie are feeding Ed's sheep and testing the electric fences. Ed is annoyed that Eddie has not been pestering Oliver about what his plans are, but Eddie prefers to wait and see and hope for the best rather than tempt fate. Ed definitely blames Eddie for this inaction, and Clarrie being said to agree with Eddie and think they should give Oliver some space because the stress is getting to him doesn't suit Ed. He protests that stress doesn't explain Oliver's silence. Everyone knows he has to sell some land to pay for Grey Gables, and Ed reckons he's avoiding the Grundys. Eddie is sure that when Oliver is ready he'll sit down with them; Ed wants to know why they have to wait for him when they need to force the issue. Eddie tells him to stop worrying so much: he'll knacker himself. He must just accept it's out of their control at the moment, and focus on what he's got to do today. He asks for help with the turkeys, which Ed refuses because he is busy with other things, and just as he is saying this Oliver comes over and asks if they've got a moment. Eddie, sotto voce, reminds Ed that he told him not to tempt fate.

Hannah is giving Jazzer a crash course in pig-farm management and figures, much of which is going in at one ear and out the other; it becomes ever more obvious that he is not really the right person to take over her job, though he does ask the occasional question to show that he is not completely lost. Jazzer wishes that Hannah were staying, but because of George it is out of her hands now. She hasn't heard back about Stella's spare room, and has got to be realistic about her chances of finding somewhere she can afford. She takes him off to the office where she spends most of her time.

Oliver has now finally taken advice and done all the calculations, and come to his decision: there's no point in waiting any longer. Ed asks how much land he is selling, and Oliver tells him he is putting ten acres on the market. This leads to an explosive reaction from Ed, who says he must be joking, while Eddie points out in horror that it's a fifth of the whole farm. Oliver says he is very sorry, and Ed indignantly asks what about his Texels? Where are this lot going to be grazing, eh? Thirty ewes, fifty-two lambs! [Very early lambing: in November. Chris.] Oliver puts in that he does feel dreadful about it, but Ed is now ranting at him without restraint: even with fifty acres he's tight for pasture. [So sell some of the lambs, prannet. Chris.] Eddie says accusingly that Ed has nowhere else to put them, and Ed, his voice breaking, squeaks that he can't afford to graze them anywhere else: he'd have to downsize. He can't take that sort of hit! Oliver tries to calm him, saying he appreciates how long it's taken him to build up his flock and all the hard graft, and he doesn't feel good about this, but Ed is not to be placated and starts talking about the hay they won't get any more [from the pasture that is so tight for the sheep. Chris], which Eddie describes as a money-spinner. How can Oliver do this, Ed asks rhetorically. Oliver asks what he wants him to say, and Ed suggests 'Let's negotiate another solution, eh?' Eddie suggests Ed should take it easy because that doesn't look like an option, and Oliver tells them there is something else they need to know. Ten acres of pasture alone wouldn't be enough to raise the amount of capital required: he'd need to include within the land-sale package a portion which has a significantly higher market value per acre. Ed asks him sulkily which area that might be, and Oliver explains it would be one that has road access, planning permission and so forth. Eddie says that William was right: Oliver is talking about Eddie's old barn, isn't he. Oliver is incredulous: Eddie's old barn? Ed complains that Eddie's the one who uses it, which surprises Oliver: whatever for? It's pretty-much derelict. Eddie explains indignantly that he stores a fair bit in there, and when Oliver remarks that the roof's falling in exclaims that's not the point: Oliver can't just take it from them in the blink of an eye! Oliver patiently explains that's the section of land that makes Grange Farm an attractive proposition for potential buyers. This is too much for Eddie: Oliver wants to hack off a piece of Grundy history and sell it to the highest bidder so they can build some poxy housing estate on top of it? Oliver is losing patience now, as he explains it is prime real estate, and other wise he'd have to sell almost the whole farm, or even the farmhouse. 'We should count ourselves lucky,' he avers.

The instruction of Jazzer continues, while he continues unenthusiastic; as Hannah offers to make them a brew they are interrupted by a phone call from Tracy, who is bubbling over with enthusiasm; Jazzer makes an excuse not to talk to her and manages not to tell her how he really feels by telling her he'd better get on. She suggests a pub supper tonight, her treat.

Oliver is no longer making every allowance for the entitled Grundys as he explains that he has to raise a lot of money and it's entirely a business decision: Ed bitterly asks how he can call it a business decision when he's decimating the business it's taken Ed years to build. No suggestion from Oliver will suit Ed and Eddie, and when he points out that the local economy needs Grey Gables open and employing people, Eddie says it's Adil's fault and Oliver should get his employers to stump up the cash. Oliver tells Eddie that they are already putting up half a million pounds, and when he suggests Ed could find somewhere else with grazing, Eddie, in a very ugly voice, tells him not to start telling them how to fix what he's broken. 'We Grundys managed to survive long enough before you came along.' [As a matter of cold fact they didn't. They had gone bankrupt and been evicted; that was why Grange Farm was for sale when Oliver bought it. Chris.] Oliver knows it is all very emotional, but please, he asks, let's try to find a rational solution together? Eddie wants to know why they have to be rational. Oliver's choice to rebuild Grey Gables isn't rational: it's an emotional decision. Finally driven to being coldly polite, Oliver hoped Eddie wouldn't make him say it, but this is his land, and he allows them to remain on at rates well below what the market charges. Eddie sarcastically remarks that it must be comforting telling himself that: to some it might look like the lord of the manor kicking the serfs off the land to keep face with his posh mates. Oliver tells him that's a very one-sided interpretation, and Eddie knows it: Ed doesn't share that view, does he? Ed's reply is to suggest that Oliver should cut his losses with Grey Gables and pull out. How's that for a business decision? Eddie reckons that sounds pretty rational to him. Very calmly, keeping himself under control, Oliver thinks he'd better leave before one of them says something they'll regret.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 7th November, 2023

Lots of people are full of advice, while Jack wants to meet his father.

Characters: Joy, Helen, Tracy, Usha, Henry, Alan
Credited scriptwriter:
Avin Shah
Director:
Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Having turned up unexpectedly with a Sachertorte she has made for the boys, Joy insists on leaving it for them even though Helen still has half of last week's one in the freezer. She then stays to chat about the fireworks, and about Lee and how the boys are coping with his having left; Helen confesses her melancholy about Lee having gone. Joy finally volunteers herself to babysit the boys so Helen can go out a meditation class with Kirsty, and Helen rushes off to be in time for it.

In The Bull, Tracy tells Usha that Shula's extending her placement, before enjoying a pleasant gossip with her about Alan getting it in the neck and then about Jazzer's putative promotion at Berrow. Tracy reckons he's a shoo-in, but doesn't want to jinx it; Usha promises to say nothing about it. It will be nice to have a bit more money; Usha at once brings the conversation round to St Stephen's losing donations, which Tracy rightly guesses to be something to do with Rob Titchener's baptism. Usha is worried about Alan, who is more strung out than she has ever seen him. She is getting him out of Ambridge to decompress by taking him to celebrate Diwali with her brother Shiv in Coventry.

When Helen gets back feeling much better for her meditations, she finds that Jack has gone to bed and Henry is watching television and not talking to her. She requires him to turn away from the TV screen to talk to her, which he doesn't want to do; she demands that he is to tell her what's going on, then asks Joy if everything has been OK. Joy didn't want to text her and thought she'd wait till Helen got back: nothing bad has happened, just the boys had a bit of a falling-out. Helen wants Henry to explain, says she is not competing with the television and turns it off. Henry indignantly says he was watching that, and is definitely not forthcoming: nothing happened, it's fine, and Jack's asleep now. Helen refuses to switch the television back on, and apologises for Joy having had to deal with 'all this'; Joy doesn't think she really dealt with anything. She heard them arguing, and when she came in from the kitchen Jack ran off to his room crying and wouldn't come out. Henry wouldn't tell her why; sorry, Henry, she adds parenthetically. Henry exclaims that's not true: Jack wasn't crying. Helen now wants to know why they were arguing, and Henry mutters that he's had enough of this; Joy interrupts to say she ought to get on, and apologises to Helen for not knowing what it was all about; Helen tells her not to go, and then tells Henry to come back here because she wants to know what happened. He shouts that nothing did, and goes on his way up to his room. Joy is not sure he'll come down while she is still there, but, when begged not to rush off, agrees to put the kettle on while Helen goes up to talk with Henry.

Alan has announced that he is cancelling the parish Christmas tree because having one is too expensive. Usha is indignant and tells him he is being defeatist; he says that it doesn't feel ethical spending all that money on a tree for the benefit of a dozen or so parishioners. [Hold on: on Sunday he was telling Joy that numbers are up. Chris] Tracy brings over a steak-and-ale and a fish-and-chips, and stays to earwig when Usha says Alan might as well say he is cancelling Christmas and asks how that is supposed to win people over. Tracy feels that he can't not have a tree: she tells him there must be other ways to save money, and starts to offer possibilities from her own experience such as changing the gas and electricity suppliers. She's saved twenty quid a month that way. Alan thanks her but points out that the numbers he's dealing with are a bit bigger; he appreciates her concern but can they just change the subject? She and Usha, though, are quite happy to go on discussing the matter, and decide Alan should be increasing income rather than reducing expenses. How about a public event; what does Alan think? He thinks their dinner's getting cold.

Cornered in his room, Henry is reiterating to Helen that he and Jack were not arguing: Jack just got angry and started crying, which is like Joy said. Helen wants to know what Henry said that made him react like that, and eventually worms out of him that it was about Rob: Jack wants to see him, wants to meet his Dad before he dies. Rather hesitantly Helen concedes that it's OK for him to say that, and it's normal: Henry wanted to see him, after all. Henry now wishes he hadn't. Helen says she knows, and she's sorry; Henry at once tells her she has nothing to be sorry for. [He's been trained early! Chris] Henry explains that Jack said it wasn't fair that Henry got to see Rob when he isn't even Henry's Dad, and started crying when Henry told him it doesn't work like that. Helen assures Henry that she isn't going to let Jack see Rob, and thanks Henry for telling her. She'll talk to Jack in the morning.

Tracy and Usha are making suggestions for fund-raisers, and Alan is getting interested in spite of himself. However, he can't face organising a poetry reading in the church, not after the hassle of the F&P. Usha is narrowing it down: they need some sort of event in the church that also brings in non-church goers. Tracy suggests getting Lynda to organise it. Alan groans; each new idea just seems to make him less enthusiastic.

Wine has come out and Helen is plying Joy with it. Joy now understands what is going on: Henry saw Rob, and Jack feels it's only fair for him to get the same opportunity. Maybe it's because Lee's no longer there: if he no longer asks about Lee coming back, maybe he no longer sees Lee as a father-figure. Helen seems not to have thought of that; then she asks what Joy meant earlier, when she said everyone seemed so shocked about Helen and Lee splitting up and what a perfect couple they seemed to be, but Joy didn't. Joy just wanted Helen to know that she understands: Helen knows she does, and goes on to say that Lee looked like the perfect partner but he wasn't right for her, and so she's the one who feels guilty. Joy consoles her by saying no-one really appreciates what happens in other people's relationships: you just know inside when it's not working for you any more and it takes courage to acknowledge it. Helen wonders whether now Lee is gone Jack is feeling the void, and Joy asks how much he knows about his father; enough, says Helen, but at his age how much use is it to explain what 'coercive control' is? [What about 'attempted murder'? Gus.] She wishes that she could talk to him right now; he really needs to understand why it can't happen.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 8th November, 2023

Helen temporises, Emma apologises, Eddie just talks fustian.

Characters: Eddie, Emma, Ed, Oliver, Helen, Joy, Henry
Credited scriptwriter:
Avin Shah
Director:
Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The annual avoidance of turkey-plucking by the various Grundys is in full flight, with Eddie trying to persuade Ed and Emma to help. Ed's suggestion that he should ask Mia is clearly not serious, and everyone else is busy. As Eddie is trying to persuade Ed to put pressure on Keira (age 12) to do it for him, Ed sees Oliver, and Eddie goes off to the barn. Oliver says good morning to Emma and Ed, then goes away in his car to meet his partners, who will be coming to the shoot for a taste of country life. Emma thinks it was weird him not even looking at Ed; when Ed asks what she expects, she tells him she expects that sort of behaviour from Ed and Eddie, but it's not like Oliver.

In anxious consultation (mostly monologue) in the village shop, Helen tells Joy that she has told Jack that Rob is not a nice man, and explained how he tricked Henry into seeing him just so he could upset him, but Jack is still insistent. She says it was all going in the right direction until Henry got involved, and then Jack got wound up so she sent Henry out of the room and he stomped off in a huff, and now Henry's missed breakfast. Ian came round and took Jack to school for her, and Henry is outside watching for the bus while Helen gets him a ham-and-cheese sandwich. Helen harks on her grievance: it doesn't matter how hard she tries, Jack just goes on saying that Henry got to see Rob so why can't he. Joy wonders what he wants to say to him, and Helen is not sure he even knows. She has explained that Rob is bound to do or say something that will upset him because that's the way he is, he enjoys hurting people, even children. Joy points out that in a few weeks it might not be a problem any more, but she doesn't mean when Rob dies [and bless her for using the word! About time someone did! Chris]; for Jack it could just be a phase, part of his response to the fact that Lee's no longer around. Helen is doubtful about it just being a matter of sitting it out until he stops asking, and Joy apologises for possibly underestimating him; Helen sweeps on anyway: if she stops him from seeing Rob, is she risking him hating her in the future when Rob's not here? [nb: nothing to do with his well-being, just how he feels about her. Gus] Joy suggests that refusing a child point-blank can push them into wanting whatever it is even more. Helen at once sees this as thinking it better for Jack to have some small memory of Rob, better that he actually sees the sad, pathetic man that he is; better that he sees Rob now than regretting a missed opportunity. At this inopportune moment we hear the shop doorbell jangle and Henry comes into the shop unnoticed by Helen, and when Joy suggests that if she leaves it for a few days the chances are he'll forget about it and Helen replies asking 'but what if he doesn't?', Henry indignantly breaks in: she promised she wouldn't take him, and is unimpressed by Helen's protests that he doesn't understand: yes he does, she's a liar. He's not stupid! He flings out of the shop again and Joy apologises for not having noticed him coming in. Helen assures Joy that it's not her fault, and goes to pursue Henry out onto the village green.

While Emma is trying to write an essay, Ed is whinging and griping about how ill-done-by he is and how he can't afford to pay full whack for the pasture his sheep need and it's so unfair! Why should his business have to suffer so Oliver can build his posh hotel! he rehearses all his grievances, and Emma tries reasoning with him gently, then points out that she needs to get on, having taken the morning off from the tea-room to do it, and eventually loses patience and tells him to stop it. She's had it up to here. He hasn't done anything towards solving the problem, just moaned on to her. He sounds like Eddie: it's always someone else's problem. He knew Oliver would be selling some of the land, so what has he done to prepare for it? Has he done the costings, or rung Brian and asked how much the rent would be at Home Farm? Every suggestion she makes he knocks down, until she says she's had enough of this. First, he needs to apologise to Oliver – him and Eddie. Ed is outraged and starts to ask what for, but realises in time that he doesn't have a leg to stand on and stops himself. Emma wants the air cleared, if for no other reason than if the prospective buyer starts asking questions about the mobile home and finds out they don't have planning permission for it. Oliver is the only reason they have a roof over their heads in the first place, and Ed needs to make it up with him. It's pointless her trying to write an essay; she's going to get Will to pick her up on his way to the shoot and go to see Oliver, because it's high time they sort this out. Ed is to go and talk some sense into his pig-headed dad. [Speaking of which, does Eddie still have pigs there using 'Ed's' pasture? Chris.]

Henry is very angry with Helen for lying, and Helen is being her most reasonable in order to get him calmed before the school bus arrives. Joy comes out of the shop bearing Henry's sandwich and mouthing a platitude, and Henry rudely asks her what it has to do with her, thus handing his mother the moral high ground. She is then able to tell him what she has decided: refusing Jack outright isn't working because he'll just keep wanting it even more; they have to listen to Jack, and he may be young but she can't just ignore him. If he brings it up again Henry is not to argue with him and make things worse. As long as they don't refuse, he'll lose interest eventually. Henry reluctantly concedes that he supposes, and is told he owes Joy an apology and the money for the sandwich; she will wait outside for him. [And for the bus, which must be from Godot Tours stock. Gus.]

Emma has found Oliver and he is being friendly to Emma, who tells him she has been feeling awful about how things were left on Monday. He appreciates her coming, but would rather Ed approached him in person. He has been thinking it might be best if he moved out of the farm, which Emma certainly doesn't want; Oliver explains that he is sure Ed will be reasonable once the dust has settled, but he is worrying about Eddie. Emma starts to tell him about Ed talking to Eddie, but Oliver is not really listening, and ought to go back to his associates. As she turns to go, though, he says that he wants her to know that she's not to worry about Little Grange: she has his word this land sale will in no way affect her home.

Clearing up in the barn and discussing what can be sold, as well as reminiscing about Joe doing the same, is completely occupying all Ed's brain-cells and he has not got round to talking seriously to Eddie by the time Emma gets back. When she wants to know why she is the only one apologising to Oliver Eddie gives her his tired line about 'only Oliver can fix what's broken', she is unimpressed and says this is just a derelict barn full of rubbish, which sets Eddie off onto a rant about his family having farmed this land for generations and Oliver being set on erasing a piece of their history [that barn was completely cleared in the farm sale after Joe's bankruptcy in March 2000; there will be no 'Grundy history' there. Chris]; she retorts that they need to think about the future, not the past, and Ed says gently that she's right: maybe they could shift the valuable stuff down to the pole-barn on Grundys' field. Eddie launches into another rant, this time catastrophising at length about who might buy the land and what they will build on it. he then wants to know what happens to him and Clarrie if Oliver 'passes on' first. It's all right for Emma, he says: she will inherit her parents' house. This is a bit much even for Ed, who tells him that's not fair, but Ed just carries on, now about Chris getting a house out of his divorce from an Aldridge. She wants him to go cap in hand to Oliver, fine, don't worry, he'll get round to it. In his own sweet time. And what difference will it make? What rights do we Grundys really have? he asks; then immediately answers himself [entirely accurately, when it comes to the ownership of someone else's house and land. Chris]: None whatsoever. And now he's got some farm work to be getting on with.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 9th November, 2023

Jazzer is reprieved, while Helen receives a summons.

Characters: Jazzer, Hannah, Emma, Tracy, George, Helen
Credited scriptwriter:
Avin Shah
Director:
Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Jazzer is fighting it out with the computer at Berrow, and losing. Eventually Hannah takes him away from it before he breaks it.

Emma tells Tracy that Fallon is not pleased with the new display stands Tom and Natasha have decided they are to put out at the tea-room. George comes through from the shop with beetroot and spuds, and explains that it is called merchandising: increasing revenue from your existing footfall. Neither woman hits him over the head with a display stand. Tracy encourages him by asking how this 'merchandising' thing works then, possibly hoping he won't actually know what he is talking about, and he breaks into fluent sales-speak to explain the idea of 'imagining the customer journey' and giving examples. Emma tells him he sounds just like Natasha, and Tracy jokes that they have got it all figured out. Then Helen summons George back to the shop to load the veg boxes and he leaves Tracy and Emma alone. Tracy suggests they'd better get those promo stands out sharpish, as Helen comes through and exclaims over them. Tracy quickly makes herself scarce; when she's gone Emma asks Helen how the boys are and is told it's a long story; when asked how she is herself, Helen says that's another long story, and asks how the land sale is going. Emma tells her Oliver has started lining up buyers though they don't yet know who, Eddie's worried about developers, and Emma remembers all the headaches the EV charging station caused Brookfield and just wishes they knew but supposes they'll just have to wait and see. Helen is wondering if Bridge Farm might be interested: Emma knows what Tom's like. [Just don't let him do the negotiating! Chris.] She then asks if there is any chance of the promo stands going on the tables, and Emma says she'd have to ask Fallon about that; Helen puts one by the till as an experiment. Blame her if Fallon asks.

Trying to explain his distaste for the job she is trying to train him for is taxing Jazzer's descriptive powers, and for some minutes Hannah tries to reassure him, even telling him that he is one of the most intelligent people she knows, before finally realising just how much he hates the whole idea of working in an office; when she does grasp it that he doesn't actually want the job, she strongly advises him to tell Tracy how he feels, and the sooner the better. When he then argues about wanting to make Tracy happy, Hannah tells him that it's not worth making himself miserable over it. He thanks her, and tells her that he just wishes she could stay on. So does she, and she will miss him when she goes. He wonders miserably how he is going to break it to Tracy; Hannah tells him he is on his own there, sorry.

George has brought the tea-room twelve pints of milk and some more salad and veg. Emma and Helen embarrass him acutely by praising his work and saying how helpful and useful he is, before Helen asks whether they need any soft cheese, perhaps, and Emma tells her that as a matter of fact they have had a few Borsetshire Blue orders. Helen triumphantly says that she thought so: she's already had three customers taking advantage of the promotion, and Emma says Fallon has put them out on the tables now. Helen thanks her, and Emma asks how come only Borsetshire Blue is on offer, whereat Helen explains that in expectation of the Grey Gables order which has not materialised she made extra; Emma supposes they can sell it at Christmas. When George comes back Helen softly tells Emma to grab any cheese she needs and goes away; Emma quizzes George about supper at Grange Farm last night, which was apparently punctuated by Oliver coming in, not coming to the meal, and different people falling silent at one point and another. As he speaks Helen can be heard in the background but what she is saying is not audible; when Emma asks if she's all right she says no, Jack is ill and she has to go and fetch him. George helpfully offers to look after the shop for her, and lock up later; when she starts to sort out the right keys to take off her keyring Emma points out they have a set in the tea-room and sends her off with the hope it's all OK. She then praises George for being really generous; he says it's nothing, then asks what is going on and who's buying the land. All Emma knows is Martyn Gibson is coming to have a look round tomorrow, and Oliver's worried Eddie might try and put him off. [How does she know this? Oliver told her? What? Chris.] It's got planning permission, so what if BL decide they want to convert the whole barn to holiday flats or something? George wonders if there is something he can do, since he gets on with Martyn, but Emma firmly tells him to stay out of it: it's Oliver's business, not theirs, and when he suggests he could put Martyn Gibson off, her 'No, George' is determined. She tells him to go and restock the vegetables or something, or just stand behind that counter and act like a proper shop-keeper.

Tracy serves Jazzer with a pint and asks him how his day went; he nerves himself up and manages in the end to tell her he is not training any more because although he could probably do the job if he tried, he'd be stuck in an office all day. He's good with pigs and likes looking after them and that... She interrupts him, saying, 'Oh, Jazzer! Jazzer, Jazzer, Jazzer, you silly ... Scot!' Why didn't he just say so? Is this how he's been feeling all this time? He says he thought she'd be fuming, and she wants to know why on earth he thought she would be; when he talks of being a loser she tells him to come here, and that he is very, very lucky she's the one who found him. As they embrace across the bar and tell each other they love each other Jazzer's phone notifies him of a message coming in, and he manages to spill his beer. Tracy wants him to grab a bar-towel and mop up his side of the bar and stop playing with his phone, but he is transfixed: the message is from Hannah. She's heard back from Stella, who has offered her the spare room. Tracy wants to be quite clear: Hannah's moving into Stella's? Jazzer ecstatically tells her it means Hannah doesn't have to leave any more, she can stay on. He wasn't expecting that! It's great news. Tracy remarks that if he'd waited five minutes he wouldn't have had to tell her about turning down the job, and wouldn't have spilt his pint either; they laugh together happily.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 10th November, 2023

Kirsty and George try to pour cold water, each without success.

Characters: Kirsty, Helen, Eddie, George
Credited scriptwriter:
Avin Shah
Director:
Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Kirsty has come to see Helen for food and gossip, first briefly about Kenton's anger with Eddie on bonfire night, then about dormice in torpor among the brambles, and then about the meditation class on Tuesday; Hannah staying in Ambridge is also touched upon, as is Jazzer not actually wanting her job. Then Kirsty asks how Helen has been this week, and is given the full budget: Lee not being there any more is having a big effect on Jack, who has been withdrawn at school and wants to meet Rob. Helen doesn't know what to do.

George is watering the land round the barn with stinking water from the bowser that has been kept in there; he wants to put Martyn Gibson off buying it, since one can't build in a swamp. Eddie points out the uselessness of this scheme. When Martyn arrives, Eddie doesn't allow George to speak to him.

Helen is well-launched on her favourite subject, her – and her troubles, this time over Jack and the need to make a decision about whether or not to let him see Rob. She asks Kirsty for her advice. Kirsty is clear: all she has to do is sit it out until Rob... From what Helen has told her, he won't last long enough for them to meet. Helen at once says she can't do that to Jack: he'll resent her forever. She has to decide right now and just tell Jack what's what. The more Kirsty argues that she doesn't have to, the clearer it becomes that Helen's mind is already made up, and that what she wants from Kirsty is not advice, since she refuses to take or even acknowledge the advice that Kirsty gives her. She accuses Kirsty of not listening, says no-one is getting it, tells her there is no point asking what Pat and Tony think, and doesn't want to take the advice Lee gave her before she threw him out for disagreeing with her about it: she doesn't know what to do, that's why she is asking Kirsty. Kirsty points out that if she does take him, Jack will end up resenting her anyway, and Rob is sure to say something to hurt both of them; then he'll make sure he goes to his grave a martyr as far as Jack is concerned, and Helen will be the villain of the story. Helen wails that it is what Jack wants that is important here: she has underestimated the situation. She now gets that it goes much deeper than just Jack feeling it unfair that Henry had seen Rob and he hadn't. The head teacher gave her an exercise book in which Jack had been writing while he was at school: it's about Rob.

After Martyn's visit Eddie offers George some cider and is surprisingly up-beat about the whole idea of the barn and land being sold. He is touched about the trouble George went to, and reassures him that he didn't mess it up; if there is one thing Joe taught Eddie it is the value of failure. [Just as well, since Joe was a complete failure all his life. Chris.] How else do we learn anything? Unless we embrace failure, we'd never want to try anything, would we, Eddie chuckles. As a farmer, you need to have ideas, do things, look at what went wrong, and work out how to fix it so you might succeed next time: as long as you keep trying, you'll be fine. George's idea wasn't stupid, it just didn't work. A text arrives from Oliver: Martyn Gibson's keen all right; Eddie sounds amused as he says that didn't take him long. When George expresses surprise at this, he tells George that he's had a miserable week, but George has cheered him up no end.

Kirsty is still not getting the point of what Jack wrote, so Helen reads it out to her: it's a letter addressed to "Dear Rob", about Jack and his interests, asking Rob if he wants to watch Aston Villa with him, telling him who who the best superhero is, asking if Rob has a lot of friends. Helen takes this as showing Jack's clarity of mind: he knows what he wants. Kirsty's 'really' in reply is unenthusiastic; she reaches for the exercise book, reads it aloud again and confirms that it is indeed to Rob, as if Jack were saying that he exists and knows about Rob and wants Rob to know about him. Helen has inferred from this that he wants to talk to Rob face to face. Kirsty is unconvinced, and Helen starts to lose her temper, eventually [and unforgivably, given that late miscarriage. Chris] saying that Kirsty doesn't have kids: how can she possibly understand? Kirsty indignantly tells her that's not fair, and Helen hastily apologises, though not terribly convincingly. Kirsty, who is no longer being all-patient, heatedly reminds Helen of Rob's treatment of Henry just to inflict another wound on Helen: would he do that to his own child? If it meant getting back at Helen, yes, he would! The only thing Jack will get is trauma. Helen can't take that risk. Helen replies that she doesn't have a choice. She doesn't want to, but she thinks she might have to. In a last appeal, Kirsty says Jack is too young, but that cuts no ice with Helen, who replies that he is not a baby. She needs to take him before it's too late. She just has to hope that she's strong enough to protect him.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 12th November, 2023

Community spirit can take many forms, including a leather skirt.

Characters: Kate, Jakob, Alan, Usha, Shiv
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Although Ruairi has not asked for this, Kate has decided that everyone should attend his twenty-first birthday party in fancy dress appropriate to the time when he was born; she is now dressed as Miss Congeniality, which Jakob fails to recognise; unfortunately the male characters in the film are all cops in suits, and while Jakob is happy with wearing a suit as he always does, she wants him to go as something other that 'Jakob-the-Vet'. They have to get thinking because the party is on Wednesday and she really wants them to make an entrance.

Somewhere in Coventry, Alan and Usha are talking as they put on some fancy dress picked out for them; their visit to party-loving Shiv [who has a new actor and sounds completely different, as well as behaving nothing like his previous persona. Chris] is proving a good break from the ill-will in Ambridge, where Peggy didn't attend the Remembrance Service. Usha talks about holding a grudge and what people will think when they see there is no Christmas tree. Alan tries for good humour: he did see Helen and Pat at The Laurels where they were visiting Christine, and they stopped to say goodbye before they left. Usha dampeningly suggests that Peggy had better not find out they are speaking to him or she might boycott them too. As they smooch, Shiv comes up full of good cheer and talks of them not missing 'The Fireworks!', mentioning that Usha has told him Alan needs some TLC. Alan wants them to bring on the festival of light: Lord knows they need some at the moment.

It seems that Kate doesn't have the energy to do Britney, and wouldn't ever pull off a Beyoncé – Noluthando would never let it go – which is why she is veering towards movies rather than music. She then comes up with Gladiator, with Jakob in the main rôle and a leather skirt. Jakob refuses to do it, giving a previous engagement at an equine conference as an unconvincing excuse, and after some accusations about his not wanting to dress up for the party (does he realise how much it means to her, and the family, to have these two celebrations, Ruairi's twenty-first and Brian's eightieth, after everything that's happened since Mum died?) [no mention of Peggy's ninety-ninth birthday on the day before Ruairi's. Chris] she tells him he is not a team player and never wants to enjoy the things she likes, with her; she gives examples of his being AWOL from the family and the community, works herself into a snit and decides to go back to her place [by which presumably she means Peggy's house, The Lodge. Chris.]

Shiv is talking about collecting for the new community space over the years, and now they can do their Diwali and Navratri celebrating there. It's all a real community effort, and there is a drama club, and crafting; he shows Alan the full calendar on the wall and tells him the place has been a saviour for some of the elders, especially in the winter; it's a good reply to the loneliness pandemic caused by covid, and they have activities nearly every day; Alan is deeply impressed and says it sounds fantastic. Shiv tells him that Usha has recounted his troubles, and that there are folks who haven't come to these celebrations for years because of some falling-out with someone they don't want to bump into, which Alan thinks is such a shame; exactly, Shiv agrees: life's too short. Usha, who has been dancing, comes up to them and teases Alan about him having done the rounds of the buffet; Shiv goes off to check 'The Fireworks!' and Alan gets stuck into his plate of food, talking with his mouth full. He says he really needed this, and when Usha asks doubtfully if he means Indian food says yeah, no, not really, he guesses he means food for the soul, a little time out. He has been thinking about their Christmas fund-raiser thingy, which gives Usha an 'I told you so' moment about him changing his mind, but, looking at this place, Alan muses, that calendar chock full of activities; Usha, always obliged to dampen any enthusiasm he shows, points out that is a whole community and he can't be expected to do it single-handedly, but he is unquashed. It has reminded him that they should open up St Stephen's more and let people use the space to do their own thing [so long as they don't mind doing it round the pews, which he was prevented in 2008 from tearing out. Chris]. Pointedly, Usha suggests 'such as a Christmas fund-raiser'.

Jakob is roused by the phone; Kate has been unable to sleep, and is sorry about what she said and she shouldn't have left. She just has been really looking forward to these birthday parties, and she really wants him to be there. Would he come if they didn't dress up? Jakob fails to push his advantage and says he will come, and dress up as the gladiator if that makes her happy, to her delight; he just wants to be reassured that he is not 'not a team player'. Kate is already enthusing about sorting out her own costume and perhaps borrowing a sari from Usha, but takes a second to say no; when he asks urgently whether she heard what he said she tells him that she loves him. Then she tells him he needs to get a good night's sleep because he has an early start tomorrow, and he is not to worry about the costumes but leave it all to her.

As the fireworks are noisily let off, Usha is happy just to sit with Alan and have no interruptions from work, his or hers; Alan says it's been a real tonic. But he then confesses that he has been thinking about work: he's sure they could find someone to run a craft group, and it could be for grown-ups because they need to unwind as much as kids do. And sessions for the old and infirm in winter are a great idea. Usha wonders whether a Christmas thing might be too much to organise, but Alan is now full of enthusiasm: they do it like they do it here, and find the locals who'd like to run sessions at St Stephen's. Usha murmurs 'bingo' in a smug voice. Alan can't wait to get back and fight with everything they've got; she says 'and St Stephen's shall have a Christmas tree' as if the building were Cinderella and shall go to the ball.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 13th November, 2023

Lilian is attacked, Jakob is vindicated and Helen is propped up.

Characters: Joy, Alan, Jakob, Lilian, Mr Chilcott, Helen
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

An actual sum of money, £5.82, is charged in the shop by Joy, though we don't learn for what. Alan is extolling the joys of visiting Shiv and his wife, and wondering whether he and Usha should celebrate Diwali in Ambridge next year, invite Shiv and the family over and give them a nice treat for a change. Joy suggests there might be some who'd not take well to the vicar celebrating a Hindu festival; Alan reckons if things are as they are now he has nothing to worry about. Joy expresses guilt about not having come to church, and is sure the others will come back soon enough; Alan, saying it is all water under the bridge anyway, and they have plans for much more on offer at St Stephen's, gathers up his purchases and leaves.

Treatment of a horse is under way at The Stables, and Lilian tries to pump Jakob about the land for sale at Grange Farm, which she was considering herself, but he can't help her. He asks whether he strikes her as someone lacking in community spirit, which throws her somewhat, though she swiftly rallies and assures him he doesn't strike her as a kill-joy or a shirker of his responsibilities even if it is clear he likes his own company. As he is leaving someone hails Lilian Bellamy; it is Harry Chilcott, who is there about Sadie, the horse who injured herself on the fence-post. He is not happy about the horse's injury and makes this clear, over-riding replies Lilian tries to make as he launches into what is clearly a prepared speech. He wants to see his horse, the horse he bought for his niece Izzy Draper. When he discovers that Lilian is about to put away a horse (Copper) who has just been visited by a vet, he offensively assumes that animal too had been damaged by poor decision-making; Lilian bites her tongue, breathes deeply and tells him she will speak with him in a moment; he can wait in the office.

Helen is looking in the shop for a card for Jack to take to Rob, and when Joy shows sympathy starts to speak loudly and fast while breathing in gasps; Joy understands that her business at this point is to comfort and support the distraught, and offers a sit-down and a cup of tea. Helen starts to sound as if she will burst into tears, and it is clear that she either doesn't really know or doesn't want to say what she thinks she is doing buying a card to replace the one Jack has made. As she is stammering an explanation about not wanting Rob to have the chance to belittle Jack's one, her phone rings: it's Miles, to tell her, after some nervous filler about the health and well-being of her family, that Rob is deteriorating quickly and Miles wants her to bring forward Jack's visit to tomorrow or it may be too late. He is not sure Rob will last till the end of the week. He's refused to be taken to a hospice, so he is in the flat at Penny Hassett, and he wants to see Jack before it's too late.

Mr Chilcott is patronising Lilian in the most reasonable of tones, while casting doubt on the professional nature of The Stables. She tells him that no livery would have been able to control whether or not people light fireworks, to which he replies that they can control whether an animal is inside or out during it. They start to have an argument, as a result of which Lilian crossly tells him that although their manager is not in at the moment (which leads to him suggesting she is one of those who phones it in) that is because she is walking their cross-country course checking safety. When Lilian tells him she is sure the manager will be happy to explain her reasoning to him at a time convenient to both of them, he announces that he will be there at half-ten tomorrow.

In an attempt to calm himself Jakob is playing the organ in St Stephen's when Alan interrupts him; he thought Jakob might be with Kate, who came to see Usha but left after Alan tried to talk with her about another matter. Alan was hoping she might bring one of her Spiritual Home sessions such as yoga or pilates to the church once a week, but given the way things are with Peggy she didn't feel able to. Alan explains what their plans are to Jakob [but fails to mention the Victorian pews which still occupy the church, and make it hard to visualise where these community activities are going to happen. Chris] and Jakob tries to grasp what has actually happened: Kate refused to take part in community activities? He seems comforted to learn that she lacks a sense of community, the very thing she has accused him of. Alan asks him to assure Kate she can drop in and see Usha and he promises not to interrupt; Jakob says Kate wanted to borrow a sari to be in keeping with the 'early two thousands' theme for Ruairi's twenty-first birthday party, but doesn't feel up to explaining the reasoning which led her to this, merely saying that it's a little complicated. He offers to see Usha on Kate's behalf if she's around.

Joy is now proffering water to the collapsed Helen, who has had a dreadful shock. Whatever Helen suggests for the visit Joy supports, in fact whatever she says Joy supports, in the end agreeing to come with her and Jack tomorrow to see Rob, cancelling her shift at the shop in order to do it. Helen starts to get cross with herself: she doesn't know what's wrong with her, and after all, she knew this was coming! Joy scolds her gently and kindly as Helen exclaims that everything feels out of her control and starts working herself back up into a state again; Helen should take one thing at a time, let Jack take the card he made, and not pile on more to stress about when her plate's already full. Helen mentions that the way Miles just described Rob, she's not sure how Jack is going to respond; Joy assures her that if Jack is anything like her he'll brave it out, no problem. Helen [in full Tragedy Queen mode. Gus] really hopes so.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 14th November, 2023

Alice shies away, and Jack chickens out.

Characters: Lilian, Alice, Joy, Helen, Harry Chilcott, Rob
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The rain has upset Lilian, who arrives at The Stables for Alice's meeting with their aggrieved client. Alice is unconcerned about Harry Chilcott, whom she thinks is all bluster; she knows his type. She has been looking him up: he was a three-day eventer, but had to stop because of injury; Lilian at once pricks up her ears and assumes he must be well-connected, and doesn't want to give him a chance to rubbish The Stables. Alice remains certain they have done nothing wrong. She goes to check on Sadie and make sure she is in good shape.

It is also pouring in Penny Hassett, where Helen has brought Jack to see his father. She proposes to go in first and lay down the ground rules, then come out to fetch Jack, who is upset because he has forgotten to bring the card he has made for Rob. [Being Helen, she has not thought to go back the necessary mile to fetch it for him. Chris.]

Alice is cosseting Sadie a little when Harry Chilcott arrives at The Stables and goes to see the horse he has at livery for his niece. He approves of Alice, saying that if all the staff were as good as her he probably wouldn't need to be there today, and Alice plays along, leading him into being rude about the manager before Lilian comes over and she reveals who Alice is. He continues his complaints, with punctuating disagreement from Lilian, until he says he has heard no sound reasoning for turning out his horse to be spooked by fireworks. At this Alice takes control, suggesting that this might be because he hasn't stopped to draw breath: if he allows her the opportunity she's happy to explain.

Rob was asleep when Helen came in, and when he wakes she firmly tells him the things she needs to make clear: she will be in the room with Jack the whole time and Rob can't get too close, or too emotional; seeing Rob like this might... Rob cuts her off, and takes the wind out of her sails by simply agreeing to her conditions. She's in luck, he tells her: him getting too close is out of the question, since nowadays he can barely move. As she turns to go and get Jack, Rob asks her how he looks and she says 'fine'. [Which may or may not be true. Chris.]

The explanation, now Alice has been allowed to give it with Lilian chipping in, calms Harry, and he admits to have being a little hot-headed in the way he came over there [three weeks after the event. Chris] but says that he cares about his animals. Lilian agrees that he clearly does, and so do they; he can see that they do, and regrets storming over to question Ms Carter without thinking. Alice asks him to call her Alice instead of Ms Carter, and Lilian suggests that Alice should give Mr Chilcott a tour of the place, while she takes Sadie away 'for her exercise'; he calls her Lilian and asks to be called Harry. However, after she is gone and he asks whether they should go for his look round, Alice tells him she would love to give him a tour but she has some staff training to do, for which she can't very well be late. He teases her about not wanting to get wet but accepts that she can't, saying 'next time, perhaps'; she offers to walk him across the yard and tells him to give them a shout when he has time and someone will be there to take him on a tour. [He sent a horse he cares about to be at livery in a yard he has never even seen? This storyline is as full of holes as a Swiss cheese. Chris]. He is disappointed when she doesn't say that she will definitely be the member of staff who shows him round, but accepts it and makes a joke; she gives a flirty little giggle about it all being good, and he gives her his card 'in case you ever need to call', which embarrasses her although he explains that he meant for updates about Sadie. When he suggests that perhaps they can meet up and have lunch she backs away, and he takes in that she doesn't want to meet, though he suggests that if she changes her mind, he's really not that bad a person. He leaves her blushing and stammering when he walks away.

It turns out that when Helen went to fetch Jack he no longer wanted to see Rob, after all: when they got to the front of the building he just stopped moving. She takes him back out to Joy and after a quick conversation in which they agree Jack is not going to be forced to do anything, Helen reiterates the impossibility of any of her family accompanying her, and Joy gives Helen a pep-talk, Helen goes back in to break this news to Rob. She realises that he will kick off, big time, but she will just have to tell him that Jack's changed his mind.,

When she gets to his room she tells Rob not to try to sit up, and he asks where Jack is. When he is told that Jack has changed his mind and doesn't want to come in after all, Rob starts to cry, asking if Jack knows he won't be able to see him again, and Helen admits that Jack knows Rob is dying. Rob bitterly says that he can't even see him from the window, and Helen tries to explain that children do this sometimes, build things up in their minds until it's all too much, but Rob doesn't really listen: he can't believe Jack is just outside and he can't even see him. Through his sobs he asks Helen please to leave, just to leave him.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 15th November, 2023

It's slices of umble pie all round at Ruairi's Ruairi-free party

Characters: Lilian, Alice, Harry, Kate, Jakob, Ben
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Alice has stayed late at The Stables and Lilian comes to remind her they need to get to Ruairi's bash, and to ask her, strictly between the two of them and nobody else, about the land sale at Grange Farm. She wonders whether The Stables should show an interest; the cross-country course is going very well; Alice asks what Justin thinks of the idea and wouldn't it be more up Damara's street than theirs, to which Lilian responds, 'Hence the discretion, Darling.' She was thinking about a horse spa because they are popular; perhaps Harry Chilcott would have a view: he schools sports horses and must have used such a place. She should have got his number. Alice tells her that she has it, and hands her his card. Lilian at once draws conclusions and has a bit of a cackle, to Alice's irritation. Lilian asks whether she is unable to see the tall, dark, handsome thing that he is, characteristics which Alice at once says are over-rated; at this critical point the man himself arrives in the yard and Lilian excitedly calls him in. His pretext for his presence is that he has brought some treats for Sadie. Having told Alice to keep them to herself, Lilian at once tells him about her tentative plans for an equine spa and asks his opinion. He thinks it's a great idea; he recently used, for an injured horse, a place near Birmingham which has a solarium, and a water treadmill, and a salt-water therapy room. The man who runs the place is a friend, and Harry is apparently quite happy to help Lilian and Alice set up potentially in opposition to him. Lilian gushes in gratitude; Alice is silent.

On the way to Ruairi's party [to which they drive for what seems an interminable distance, though neither lives more than half a mile from Brookfield. Chris] Kate continues her nagging of Jakob about his costume, this time because he won't wear a gladiator's helmet to drive in. She dislikes his lack of enthusiasm when she tells him it's like having Russell Crowe in the car; she is gloating about Usha having lent her a sari and jewellery even after the church boycott and Kate refusing to run sessions at St Stephen's. Jakob says pointedly that this refusal was not being a team player, and, when she protests that Gran would eat her on toast if she did it, asks what happened to forgiveness and turning the other cheek. When she continues to argue, Jakob informs her that things are so bad at St Stephen's this year that Alan has vetoed having a Christmas tree. Kate is shocked, and he goes on to tell her all the things Usha and Alan are trying to do: they need to raise money to stay open. He tells her that Usha needs a co-producer for the Christmas show: a director; when Kate tells him not to look at her for this thankless task, he says that he isn't.

Personally speaking, Harry would love a horse-spa nearer to home, it seems; as he waxes lyrical, Alice breaks in to say that she has to lock the gates before they close; he is taken aback by the abrupt dismissal, and Lilian hastens to explain that they have to go to a party, but when she says they can be a little late and it won't matter, Alice says flatly that they can't and leaves the office. Harry asks if it was something he said, to which Lilian can only say no, of course not, with an embarrassed laugh.

Finally arrived at the barn, Kate dives into the toilets to do her lipstick, and Jakob, who has accompanied her in, says that the barn looks great and it's just a shame no-one else is in fancy dress. She first denies that this is the case, and then says she is sure she specifically said in the message, before realising that she didn't in fact send that message. He cannot believe that she has been that stupid; she does actually apologise as well as making excuses, before she starts to laugh about how absurd it is, but somehow 'I'm really sorry' said through spluttering giggles lacks conviction. Ben then comes in, in normal clothes as Jakob bitterly notes, and says that he didn't realise it was fancy dress, which soothes Jakob not at all.

Later, Alice has taken it on herself to tell Jakob that this was not aimed at him, it was an honest Kate mistake, and that she was excited that he would do this for her. Jakob dourly asks what, humiliate himself? and Alice tries to explain that he shouldn't feel too bad about it, since it's just the way Kate is and surely he must know that by now. Plus the costume does suit him. Then she asks him to do the line, from the movie, just as Lilian comes up to pick a bone with her about the earlier events at The Stables, and Jakob excuses himself. Lilian is downright cross with Alice for walking out as she did, while Alice claims that she did not think it was wise to discuss their personal hypothetical business plans with a complete stranger. Lilian feels there would be better ways to do this without offending him and embarrassing her. She was rude; and fine, Alice is not interested in him but he is still a well-connected client who could easily damage their reputation if he wanted to. Alice apologises to Lilian, who tells her that spending a bit of time with a nice young man who like you is not the end of the world: no-one is asking her to marry him! Ben interrupts by breezing over, and Lilian at once asks him what he knows about the land sale; he hasn't heard anything about it and can't think why he would want to have done, after the headaches selling two acres last year caused Brookfield.

After his initial worries Jakob has apparently found it quite fun being in fancy dress, which does not stop him from telling Kate that he is going to be Usha's 'partner in crime' in order to make her feel guilty about her lack of community spirit. He tells her that if her instinct was to help then she should, regardless of Peggy and the others. She could do it for him. After all, he is sitting there, dressed like a gladiator, in the middle of a barn, just for her.... She agrees that for him, she will do it.

Out in the farmyard, Alice is ringing Harry to apologise to him for being rude, and to offer to take him on the tour of The Stables if he ever has time.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 16th November, 2023

Sense and Sensibility, Pride and Prejudice, but mercifully no Emma.

Characters: Pat, Lilian, Alice, Helen, Annie-the-Nurse, Rob
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Pat has come to the Dower House to find out what Lilian has bought Brian for his birthday but can't stop: Helen's sons are spark out in the car, and she is having them overnight. Lilian agrees to text her about Brian's present and Pat removes herself, leaving Lilian to get back to Alice. Alice has come round so late in the evening because she is worried about Harry Chilcott. She admits to having called him, and Lilian anxiously asks what she said; Alice tells her that she said sorry, and then invited him to the tour of The Stables. When Lilian asks what there is to worry about in that, Alice sighs and doesn't know.

The nurse in Penny Hassett was expecting Miles, and Helen apologising for being a bit later than she expected seems to surprise her, but she swiftly recovers and explains Rob's medication and condition; when Helen says she was only hoping to deliver this card from Jack, she makes sure Helen comes in and gives it to Rob in person, leaving Helen with Rob. As she explains all the things Jack has drawn in the card, Rob says complacently that he knew she would come, then laughs about some of the pictures such as the penguin, though he fails to recognise a cat. She tells him Jack wanted to draw the things he's best at, and Rob asks her to tell him that Rob is impressed, then goes back to what interests him; the fact that she is there. She emphasises that it is only to bring him Jack's card, but then the nurse comes back in, checks that Rob is comfortable and to Helen's alarm says that she is off: she has another appointment. If they have availability Helen may receive a phone call from the hospice for night support, and their number is there on top of the notes if she needs to make contact. Mr Titchener's brother should be here soon. Rob breathes stertorously.

Lilian honestly believes Alice is overthinking matters. If things go well and the subject comes up, Alice might just not be in the mood for a drink, and frankly it's none of his business. Alice havers: she wishes she had just apologised and said goodnight. Lilian assures her that this is good for her: Alice has taken the bull by the horns about her addiction, she sorted the situation about Martha and Chris, and look how she's taken to managing The Stables! Well, this is the next scary step. She promises that it will be all the better because of the fear factor. Alice is inclined to argue: she's thirty-five and she feels she has so much baggage. Lilian is right: this is one social engagement with a seemingly nice man, and Alice is thinking, 'Do I mention that I'm divorced? An alcoholic? A single mum? Or do I not?' Lilian is clear: Not. Alice can't let these things define her at what is after all a first meeting. Lilian admits that her track-record on romance is not a shining example perhaps, but none of us is perfect.

When Helen tries to ring Miles she has to leave a voicemail; he 'can't get to the phone at the moment'. [Oblivious to the possibility that this may be because he is driving. Chris] Helen leaves a message asking him to get there as soon as he can, and as she rings off, Rob rouses and says Miles, so she has to explain he has not yet arrived; Rob, confused says that he was there yesterday and so was Dad. Bruce has already said goodbye: he sat by the bed and told Rob not to make a nuisance of himself, and that he had the choice to go with dignity, then wished him good luck and shook his hand. Helen repeats that Miles is on his way, and Rob comments that Miles is always on his way and never there, and Rob doesn't blame him. It takes true love and commitment to be with someone who's dying. Rob imagined it would be a nurse or someone; he couldn't have dreamed it would be her. She tells him again that she only came to deliver the card; he ignores her, asking to see a picture of Jack; he then wants to be told about him and Helen obliges. He then wants to talk about flying a kite on Lakey Hill with Henry, and Helen tells him not to rake over the past; he should get some sleep and she should get back. At this he rouses and says angrily that he'll sleep when he's dead: he's dying. He needs to believe she couldn't let him go without her there. Helen says she must make a phone call and leaves the room, shutting the door after her.

The call was to Miles again. Helen is about to leave another message asking him to get there as soon as he can when her own phone rings: it's Pat, and Helen immediately assumes there must be something up with the boys. On the contrary: Pat is checking that there is nothing up with Helen. The fact that Helen feels obliged to talk in a low voice means Pat can hardly hear her, and thinks the worst; however, Helen puts it down to being tired, doesn't say where she is, agrees that a hot bath would be a good idea, and hurries her off the phone.

Rob now says that he keeps waking and thinking he's imagined that Helen is there; he asks her not to leave; he asks her to tell him about Jack. She says he is strong-willed, more confident that Henry, he hates haircuts and always has, he's always loud especially when he's laughing; he had a favourite cartoon; as she laughs about the cartoon Rob tells her he has missed her smile and she says vehemently that he wiped the smiles out of their lives. And yet she is there, he ripostes: she can admit they have a bond, that's why she can't leave. She angrily says he is not to end this on lies, on make-believe; he asserts that he is not, since she is really there and that's not make believe. It says everything. She informs him that she is there so that when her son grows up and asks her about this time, she can look him in the eye and tell him it was OK that he didn't want to see his father because she delivered the card and told Rob about him. As soon as Miles arrives – Rob interrupts to say with a bitter laugh that Miles isn't coming, and if he actually arrives he'll find a reason to leave. He's not strong like Rob and Helen. Rob used to protect him from Dad when they were kids. [Lowfield, Thursday 3rd July, 2014: 'Rob turns to describing his relationship with his father and elder brother, Miles. It was never easy.' Chris.] He tells Helen to go if she wants; leave, like the rest. He can't move, can't eat, can barely speak; this is no end to life. It's torture. But she can stop it: take a pillow and do it, just press down, hold it, don't take it off. Helen exclaims in horror, as he asks her to drain the last moments for him. He doesn't want them alone in this wretched world. She should be the one. It's why she's here. It's her, only her, can put an end to all of this.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 17th November, 2023

Everyone, Rob in particular, is longing for an end to all this.

Characters: Joy, Pat, Helen, Rob
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Not long after her phone call with Helen, Pat, who has seen that Joy's lights are on, comes to Joy's door. She's been to Helen's house and Helen was not there; does Joy know where she is? Joy says she doesn't know, and Pat tells her she is not the best of liars: it's Him, isn't it?

When Rob comes awake with a startled groan Helen tells him he keeps talking in his sleep, and he asks the time. She tells him it's past midnight; he rambles a bit about time no longer mattering, then says that if she helps him no-one will know, and gives her instructions for how after she has 'done it' she should just put the pillow back and go. Helen sharply tells him to stop this; he carries on with his thought that they will find him in the morning and Helen can return to her life. Low-voiced, Helen tells him that she knows what he is doing; he tells her he is asking for help. Can't a dying man ask for help? It's why she came. Helen snorts: does he think she came there to watch him plead and beg her to kill him? He tells her that if she does it, she's free for life and it's why she came; yet again she tells him that she came for Jack. She tortured herself, knowing that protecting Jack was the right thing to do, and yet he decides, insists, and then when he finally gets here... Rob makes excuses for him: he put too much pressure on himself, he worked himself up. After a sharp 'no', Helen suggests that it wasn't that; maybe it was instinct, she muses. Rob doesn't understand and asks what she means.

Joy really doesn't think going over to Rob's flat is a good idea, and Pat asks for the address so she can go on her own. Joy doesn't understand: Helen said Rob was bed-ridden and barely able to raise his head, so he can't hurt her. She's a grown woman and she's made a decision to go and see him; she's stronger than Pat thinks. Why not let her come back, and she can tell Pat herself why she went. Pat is not going to listen to this: that evil man ruined years of Helen's life with words. As long as his lips are moving he's dangerous, and he has nothing to lose now. She will not leave her daughter alone again. Joy gives way to the inevitable, but insists that she is driving.

Back in Penny Hassett Helen mentions Henry, and Rob starts to show his usual character: he tells her Henry never liked him because he knew he was different; he knows he's not Rob's actual son. Lee, Helen remarks, never made him feel that way; she goes on to tell Rob in which ways Lee surpassed him as a father; it's called unconditional love, she explains kindly. The unrelated parallel monologues continue as Rob claims it's because Henry is jealous that Jack has a father that wants to see him, which does get Helen's attention: has Rob any idea how he's hurt Henry? Rob denies that it was him: Helen decided to have a child alone regardless of how it would affect him; Ursula never understood how she could do that. Helen becomes defensively angry: Henry is loved by his family! Rob immediately says that he is Henry's family, and Helen tells him, almost patiently, that he is getting confused: she is talking about Henry. Rob however knows what he said: he was a father to Henry, he loved him. Shrilly, Helen informs him that he doesn't know the meaning of the words 'father' and 'love'. Rob, changing tack, asks where Lee is if he is so perfect. After a startled pause, he tells her that it's written all over her face that she's not with Lee; she's never been a good liar. 'Unlike you,' ripostes Helen. He claims that he never lied; she asserts that he lied from the moment they met, and he's still doing it.

As the cavalry make their way to Penny Hassett, Pat wants to know when Helen asked Joy to go with her to see Rob, and when Joy explains that Helen just needed someone to be with Jack and to lend her moral support, says with venom that Helen asked Joy. Joy suggests that sometimes kids need someone from outside the family because it is less complicated, whereupon Pat blames Tony for flying off the handle whenever someone mentions That Man's name. Joy suggests this is because he cares so much, they all do, and Helen doesn't want to upset them any further So this time, at this ridiculous hour, Helen would rather go alone than with me, Pat says miserably. Joy points out that she trusted Pat and Tony to do the most important thing of all: look after the boys. [Joy of course doesn't know that Helen trusted Henry to a man she hadn't even met before, Stefan or was it Raff, when she wanted a grope with Rob at Berrow Farm... Chris] Pat tells Joy that her daughter is a very lucky woman.

Rob believes that Helen has come there to make sure he dies, so why doesn't she just do it? She has been thinking that this room reminds her of her cell when she was on remand; it may be bigger, but it's the same horrible, constricting space. All she could do was think about the children; Rob opportunistically says that was because she is a good person and that's why she's there. She tells him brightly that she thought about him too, just one thought over and over: that cell was better than being with him or being anywhere near him. Rob reverts to the main thrust of his remarks: so end it for him. If he is such a monster, she has the power over him now. It seems that she reaches for the pillow, because he adds, 'That's it. Good girl. End it now.' He knows she can do this. She asks if he is ready, and he says yes. She asks if there is anything he wants to say; Rob, clearly confused, says she is to tell him (unspecified) and then that Gideon knows, he shook Rob's hand, Rob loves him deeply. As if caringly, Helen asks if Rob is scared, and he replies more strongly that he's not if it's her that does it. She gently tells him that she wouldn't do it before and she won't do it now. If he knew her at all he'd understand that. Rob sobs, then asks what's so different from when she nearly killed him once. Do it! She knows she wants to. In a voice of sweet reason she tells him that no, she doesn't: if he wants to die he'll have to do it himself. Driven beyond endurance, Rob apparently loses any wish to soft soap her, and retaliates: she planned this, he says. All along. She told his son not to come in, she wanted to torture him. She claims to be sorry; he pounces on the word: sorry? She will be. She's not a proper mother, she's incapable of love, she's aloof, she's weak, she's always whining about something. She caused this, this tumour growing inside his head; it's her, she made it happen with what she put him through. Even Lee saw an opportunity so he could leave. What was it this time, hmm? Eating disorder? Or was taking on a couple of strays too much for the man? Through gritted teeth, Helen tells him he knows nothing, but he tells her with certainty that he does. He knows her parents practically raise those boys; her family cushions her, her business: alone she's nothing. His mother and father and Miles warned him, they all saw who she really is. [When would that have been? They didn't meet her before he married her. Chris.] In a high voice she remarks that they are not here: if they are so wonderful, where are they? Where's his brother? Where's his dad? He growls that she is there, and calls her a rotten bitch; she relaxes, vindicated, and says OK, there he is, the real Rob Titchener. He points out that he is dying, and she says yes, he is; he has one gift, one positive in this whole situation: knowing when he's going to go, having a chance to make things right, doing anything truly for those that he loves, but there isn't anyone, is there. Does he know who he reminds her of, she asks rhetorically. His father. Rob chokes out that he is nothing like him, he protected Miles, he... Ignoring this, Helen tells him they are just possessions to him, aren't they. She's not his to control. Alarmed, he forbids her to leave: 'don't you dare leave this place until you do what you came here to do, d'you hear?' Sweetly, she says that she does. He adds that she owes it to him, and she asks what it was that he said to her that he handed her the knife: why don't you just put an end to it? He sobs that he can barely move, and Helen callously tells him that he will just have to wait for his time; as he sobs out 'no' she says 'Goodbye, Rob' in a sweet and reasonable voice, and as he asks her to come back she shuts the door behind her. He sobs that he is sorry, but she is gone. He begs her please to come back, to no avail.

Outside, Pat and Joy have just arrived as Helen leaves the building, slamming the door behind her. Pat, distraught, asks what she is doing and whether she's OK; Helen tells her she is, and thanks Joy for everything. to which Joy replies 'My pleasure.' Pat reassures Helen that the boys are fast asleep and Tony is with them. Pat asks if He is still... and Helen says that he is; when Pat asks which flat, she says it doesn't matter. They're not coming back there. Pat has just said she'll ride back with Helen, and Joy agreed to follow, when Helen asks whether the two have eaten; Pat says that it's nearly one in the morning, and Joy offers to rustle them something up back at hers: 'fish finger buttie?' she suggests temptingly. 'Sounds perfect,' sighs Helen contentedly.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 19th November, 2023

Tom and Adil both feel a bit hunted.

Characters: Azra, Adil, Helen, Tom
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Julie Beckett
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Azra finds Adil at his allotment, Lynda having suggested that he might be there, and he asks her if she is there to have a go at him, which she denies: she wouldn't be there at all if he answered his phone. He informs her that she is already having a go at him and doesn't even realise it. She is impressed with his allotment, though he explains that he inherited most of the plants from a grumpy old fellow; his neighbours there say they are glad to have him instead. He chats to other people, and it's great; he loves it there. She asks whether he came back to Ambridge for his beloved allotment, but he explains that he came back because he feels unbelievably guilty and couldn't stop thinking about Oliver and Lynda and Ian and everyone else. He came back to sort out the mess he made, and he thinks he is actually getting somewhere. The allotment is a bonus. She suggests it is a great stress antidote, and he agrees with her. She offers to help, and he sets her to rake up all the leaves.

Helen too is seeking a relief from stress in mundane work, in her case filling veg boxes with Tom. He feels guilty taking her time on a Sunday, with the kids and all, but she assures him they are happy with Tony and she is quite happy to be away from them: they're great, they're wonderful, but it's just her again, on her own, and that's how she chose it but having no other adult around will take a bit of getting used to. Tom sympathises, then shows her what is to go in each box: winter salads, potatoes, carrots, purple sprouting, apples, onions and coriander. The Crown Prince squashes are a bit big for the boxes and will need to be given out separately. Helen's phone rings, but she sees that the caller is Miles and doesn't answer. Tom tries to ask how she is but she doesn't want to talk about it and reverts to chat about lettuce; Tom awkwardly goes along with that.

Azra is giving Adil family news as they work; Sabha's dad called her twice last week for a little chat and asked after Adil; she said he was busy with work. They just want to see him, but he can't face that: it means sitting in their claustrophobic front room surrounded by photos of her, like a shrine, and talking about Sabha, and he can't do it. They whack the heating up, and he feels as if he will pass out. It's a nightmare. Azra says she feels for them, and he agrees that so does he, but when she suggests he might meet them on neutral territory he says maybe but makes no other comment. Azra asks whether he has been telling everyone that Sabha was his wife, and he concedes that sometimes he has, because 'fiancée' sounds lesser, somehow: he feels it diminishes the loss, and she knows what he means.

In the packing-shed there is more small-talk about veggies and the wet weather, and Helen's phone sounds again; it's a message from Miles, saying 'Can you call me?' She decides not to because she hates his voice: he sounds so like Rob. Tom offers to call him for her,right now if she likes, but she turns the idea down though she says it's very sweet of him. She suggests just finishing the boxes first and then seeing. She then tells him that Thursday night was awful and she just wanted to get out of that room and that flat because she didn't want to be there when He died [but didn't leave, which she could have done at any time. Chris]; she didn't want to share that moment, it's such an intimate thing to be with someone when they're dying. You only sit with the dying when it's someone you love and cherish, and how was she supposed to find any love for Him? Tom says that she wasn't, nobody expected her to, but she says Rob did. Tom points out that Rob is a dangerous, delusional narcissist, and Helen gives a little laugh and agrees. But she still felt she couldn't leave Him until His brother arrived, and waited way longer than she wanted to [but still left before Miles got there. Chris]; that's how pathetic she is. [And what a liar. Chris] Tom disputes that she is pathetic, but she wants to know why she didn't just leave Him; when Tom says she was trying to do the right thing, she is clear that the right thing would have been to go straight away, with which Tom swiftly agrees but about which he makes excuses: she was paralysed, she couldn't think straight. Helen anxiously says that means He still has this power, this hold over her, and Tom tries to reassure her: not necessarily, because it was the situation as much as anything else. Helen supposes it was a combination of the two, and Tom agrees that maybe that's right, but it doesn't mean he'll always have that power. Helen, wanly, really hopes not.

It's quite satisfying raking leaves, and Azra can see the appeal. As they start to pack up she tells Adil that she has applied for a permanent place at the surgery where she is a locum, and he is slightly taken aback that she didn't tell him before she went for the interview last week. He tells her it is really massive news: what if he doesn't want her working that close by? [Then he can move away. Do it now, Adil! Chris] This understandably pisses her off: it's really not up to him where she works! He knows, but still thinks she could have given him a bit of warning; she tells him that this is the warning. She explains that it's a lovely surgery, the people are great, and it's a gorgeous area, so for her it was a bit of a no brainer; he thinks it's also a really long commute, whereupon she mentions the other thing she wanted to say, that she is thinking about moving to the area. Not necessarily this village [would that be Ambridge, or Lower Loxley where they actually are? Chris] but somewhere local.

When Helen's phone accepts another message as she is powering through filling boxes, twice as many as Tom has done, she wants to read it later; Tom suggests wandering out later to the park [there is nowhere called a park in Ambridge. Chris] and catching the last light of the day with the children. Helen then says that Miles doesn't get it, and thinks she made it all up; Tom offers to read his message out to her and does so. 'Helen I wanted to let you know that Rob died last night at 9.09pm. All the best. Miles'. Helen at once says in a dramatic voice that she knew it, and when Tom checks that she means she knew Rob had died says that she did. Tom wants to stop doing the veg boxes: he feels they should get her a large gin or something. Helen is fixated on Miles being so precise, and working out what she was doing at that time: breathily she recounts her evening activities and concludes she was probably clearing up the kitchen. He's gone, and she can't believe it and doesn't know whether to cry or laugh or throw up, really strange, odd; Tom is not surprised. In a little-girl way, Helen asks him if it is bad to be happy. Of course not, he tells her encouragingly. 'Am I happy?' she asks him. He doesn't know, and she, haltingly, doesn't know either; she doesn't know what she is. [Some listeners have a pretty shrewd notion though. Gus]

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 20th November, 2023

Mountains out of mole-hills, or indeed out of nothing at all, a speciality.

Characters: Stella, Brian, Adam, Tom, Jakob, Josh, Paul, Helen
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Julie Beckett
Editor: Jeremy Howe

On Brian's eightieth birthday Stella is surprised to see him at the farm office; he explains he's been kicked out of home so his children can decorate it for the party he doesn't want this evening. He claims it is a tragic tale rather like King Lear, but when Stella challenges this he admits he's never seen King Lear, and though she hasn't either she doesn't think that is how it goes. He feels that even if not, it's a damn nuisance, which makes her laugh.

At Blossom Hill Cottage, Adam greets Tom as 'the Sausage King' because he is delivering a lot of sausages, all labelled with their contents. He tells Tom that Alice and Kate are supposed to be decorating the cottage but he doesn't know where they have got to. Ian is cooking up a storm. Tom is looking forward to it, but Adam is feeling a bit nervous because they are forcing Brian to have a party when he doesn't want one. Tom is sure he'll love it, and be grateful they are going to so much effort. Tom then takes advantage of having Adam alone to tell him that Rob died on Saturday night and Helen (after whose well-being Adam instantly enquires) is in a strange mood, sort of spacy and almost like she was suddenly out of it; Adam thinks it sounds as if she were in shock [dying man dies shock horror. Gus and Chris] and instructs Tom to tell her not to worry if she doesn't feel like seeing people. As Tom thanks him and leaves, Jakob comes in to ask who the 'Natalia' is whom Brian has added to the guest-list; Adam has no idea. Kate says it was a last-minute thing, which doesn't worry Adam: what does it matter? If Brian wants to invite her, it's his birthday. When Jakob says that Kate wants to know, and Adam asks where Kate is, Jakob says with resignation that she is with Alice, buying things. Anyway, Kate is worried that this woman Natalia might be Brian's new girlfriend. Adam thinks this very improbable, since Mum's only been 'gone' ten months.

It seems that Brian is interested in an auction which will be in a couple of weeks, and since he then says he plans to talk to Oliver this week we are probably to understand this is the Grange Farm land and ten acres. He hopes Oliver will be able to make the Grey Gables thing work, and Stella points out that is why he is selling the land. Brian is wondering whether it will now be safe to return to his own home, after nearly two hours, and when Stella says she doesn't know because she's not in charge, says with feeling that nor is he, and if he had his way they'd be down The Bull for a pint and that would be it. When Stella tries to convince him that he must be looking forward to it a bit and it will be fun, he is resigned rather than enthusiastic: he doesn't know how they are all going to fit into that cottage, it'll be like sardines. And apparently Freddie is going to DJ. Brian didn't want to say so because it sounds pitiful, and he thinks all the effort is very sweet, really, but the truth is that he just wishes Jenny was here. Stella is sympathetic: how is that pitiful? He tries to explain that he feels it is sort of 'woe is me', and then goes on to praise Jennifer's qualities as a host, and in general; he had never imagined losing her so soon.

Adam is now worrying to Jakob about Natalia, for all his brave words before the party. Josh and Paul arrive with a present for Brian. Stella is there and is greeted by Adam, who asks whether Brian has ever mentioned Natalia to her, but he hasn't. When Adam explains about her being a mystery woman, Stella suggests simply asking Brian, and when she hears the theory about Natalia being Brian's girlfriend says she would be amazed if she is, but Adam hares off onto the paranoid trail of some woman decades his junior possibly taking Brian for every penny. Stella suggests that it's not really any of her business, and maybe it isn't any of Adam's either. He immediately says it was Kate who suggested it [as if that makes his talking about it to Stella any less vulgar. Chris] and is then saved by the doorbell. When he opens the door Helen is outside, and he tells her he wasn't sure she was going to make it, then when challenged to say why stammers something about Rob. He immediately realises she is offended, saying 'sorry Helen' and that he didn't mean to put his foot in it, so she wrong-foots him further by informing him that she didn't want to think about Rob tonight, getting a 'so sorry' and a swift change of subject to food and drink. He makes matters better for Helen by suggesting she go ahead, eat, drink and be merry, which gives her the opportunity for a long-suffering 'thanks'.

Outside the bathroom, Josh and Paul have a quick spat about Paul possibly trying to avoid Ruairi by sitting on the stairs, and about Paul's new boyfriend being a bore. Josh suggests that the person in the bathroom might be the Mystery Woman, Natalia.

To Brian's surprise, he is doing very well. Adam is glad to hear it. Brian didn't feel much like a party, but claims he hid his reluctance; not very effectively, according to Adam, since they all knew he was dreading it. He tells Adam it's not that he's not grateful, it's just that he misses Jenny so much, and on an occasion like this the contrast between then and now is so stark; Adam knows, he really does. They agree they both miss her every day, until Brian calls a halt to the maudlin, which does no good and doesn't bring her back. He asks when abattoir evangelist Freddie is going to stop lecturing everyone about meat and start playing some music.

As Tom and Helen greet each other Jakob comes over and puts his foot in it with condolence to her about Rob's death and then asking how she is feeling, and how it must be strange for her; Tom intervenes to say Helen probably doesn't want to talk about it, so Jakob asks whether she has tried the salmon, which causes her to squawk disbelievingly.

Paul has met Natalia, and tells Josh she is hilarious; she is dancing with Brian, and told Paul she used to be a Tiller girl; when Adam comes up he asks whether Adam still thinks she might be Brian's girlfriend. No, Adam really doesn't think so: they have just had a very nice chat about Mum. Josh points out that Natalia's nearly eighty, and the three overgrown adolescents laugh together about the fact that Brian is eighty.

Happy Birthday is sung to Brian, who blows out all his candles and makes a touching speech about having dreaded the party, and having had no pleasure in the idea of turning eighty without his darling Jenny to celebrate with, but they've all been so kind and so generous, and the cottage looks fantastic, the food has been fabulous and his beloved children have been amazing, so if there's a heaven Jenny's looking down on them all and particularly impressed with the catering. He thanks everyone there, and says he's had a lovely evening.

In a worried undervoice, Jakob tells Adam that Kate is still worried; Adam says firmly that Kate needs to chill out, and Jakob acknowledges that Kate will never chill out, despite running Spiritual Home. He then hastily conjures Adam not to tell her he said that. Adam says that he is reassured that Natalia isn't Brian's girlfriend, but has to admit that he didn't ask him directly: he didn't need to. Jakob reveals that Kate isn't satisfied with that, and Adam says that in that case Kate can go and ask him herself, just as Paul bounces over to drag Adam and Jakob onto the dance floor [all three square feet of it. Chris].

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 21st November, 2023

Aftermaths.

Characters: Helen, Miles, Denise, Paul, Josh
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Julie Beckett
Editor: Jeremy Howe

When she opens the door at Bridge Farm Helen finds Miles on the doorstep. He seems nervous, and she is short with him, but agrees to go for a walk after temporising about doing her accounts and it being a working day. He promises they shouldn't be long, and that he wouldn't ask if it wasn't important.

The morning after the night before has hit Paul with a vengeance, and Denise offers coffee and paracetamol, which latter she 'happens' to have bought yesterday. He got in at about two, and Brian was still up when he left the party. When Josh comes down and interrupts the mother-and-son chat, he is offered the same treatment, coffee and paracetamol, and greets Denise as a saviour. Denise asks about what presents Brian got: his kids clubbed together and got him a vintage watch, which he loved and she thinks very nice. Paul can start saving for her eightieth; he knows what she wants.

The walk is prickly and conversation stilted; Miles talks inconsequentialities about musings on mortality until sharply called to order by Helen. He thanks her for being there on the night he didn't arrive and says it was good of her; she says that she feels it was quite pathetic but it doesn't matter now. Miles tells her he is grateful that she did stay, and she bursts out that she really thought he was coming, and he apologises again for not having showed up. She tells him he didn't need to come to Ambridge because he could have just called her, and he expresses doubt that she would have answered the phone. In any case, she tells him, none of it matters any more, and she really does have a lot to do today. He just wants to say one thing: he used to think she and Rob were as bad as each other [a listener, then! Gus] but now he's thinking perhaps some of what she said at the trial was true. Helen is very clear: All of it was true. Miles says that Rob could be kind, he was capable of great kindness, and Helen snorts disbelievingly: was he? Miles repeats that he would try to protect Miles from their father; Helen suggests brightly that maybe Miles should talk to a therapist, which makes him laugh and say he couldn't do that. He'd just feel ridiculous, and imagine what his father would say! Helen suggests that it is none of his father's business: he's a grown man. He clearly reacts in some way, because she asks 'What?' impatiently. Miles wasn't going to tell her, but the reason he didn't turn up on Thursday while Helen was holding her vigil over Rob's not-quite-deathbed was that he drove away and ended up parked in an industrial estate in Coventry crying his eyes out because he didn't want to be there when Rob died. Dad had washed his hands of the whole business, Miles' wife didn't really want to get involved with Rob either ... 'How do you think I felt?' interposes Helen.

Josh praises the coffee to the skies, so perfect he could cry, and Denise asks whether the pair of them don't have to go to work; Paul has the day off, and Josh can't face work: he will drink his coffee and crawl back to bed. She leaves, and Paul asks who is doing all Josh's stuff on the farm. He says he has arranged for his mum and dad and Pip to cover for him, since they all went home at about ten-thirty, and asks if there was a verdict in the end on the Natalia thing; Paul doesn't think there was. Josh then starts pressuring him about Ruairi again, saying that Ruairi himself noticed that Paul was avoiding him and asked why. Paul didn't want to end up in a drunken snog, he explains; he admits he still has a thing for Ruairi, but he's in a relationship and can think Ruairi is attractive from a distance. He's committed to someone else and that is that.

Miles was with Rob when he died; Helen feels that must have been comforting for him, and Miles agrees that he's glad he was there and Rob wasn't alone. It was the first time he had ever seen Rob when he didn't look angry: he looked almost serene and Miles realised he'd never really seen Rob look relaxed or happy since he was a kid. Helen wants to go back to the house now: she really does need to get on. Miles is agreeable and they turn back, though he made a promise to Rob and there are one or two things left to sort out.

Josh broaches the subject of when Denise is going to leave so they can have their living-room back again: he and Lily were cool with her staying but they didn't think it would turn into weeks. Paul has no idea; she hasn't said. Paul agrees to talk to her, today. At this point she gets back, Josh retreats to bed, and Paul does try to start to ask her how long she is staying, but she asks him whether Ruairi was at the party and successfully diverts the talk to his love-life. After he has told her about his new friend Etienne, who is decent and reliable and trustworthy, she says that makes him sound like a reasonably-priced car and wants to know whether Paul likes him, or fancies him, then tells him it's not always a good idea to go for the cosy option and she thinks everyone needs someone who makes their heart beat a bit faster, not just someone who remembers to put the bins out. Paul mutters agreement, and Denise adds that ideally, the man who puts the bins out also makes your heart beat faster. He should be out there having fun. Sometimes good choices aren't really sensible at all, because if you end up bored and miserable and lonely how good a choice can it be?

There is a good reason for Miles wanting to see Helen face to face rather than telephoning her. He has to fulfil a dying wish of Rob's: Rob wanted to give Helen his wedding ring. At first Helen, horrified, refuses to take it, but when Miles says that it's like a family heirloom, so one of the boys should have it, she changes her mind and demands it from him. He says that if she really doesn't want it perhaps he'd better keep it until Jack is eighteen and can decide about it for himself, but she says she is sure: she does want it. He hands it over, and she comments that she never really liked it, thinking it really ugly. He asks what she will do with it, and, saying 'this!', Helen throws it as far away as she can.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 22nd November, 2023

Helen is out milking, Ed's on the tap.

Characters: Helen, Jim, Stella, Brian, Ed
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Julie Beckett
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Not being able to find her bank card has Helen hot and bothered, in spite of the fact there is nobody else in the shop and Jim is in no hurry. Jim manages to amuse her about his being addicted to buying books on line, but she then silently drops and smashes a glass bottle of mayonnaise which sends broken glass everywhere [whereas when anyone else drops a glass bottle of mayonnaise, the glass all sticks to the mayonnaise and goes nowhere. Chris] and panics about it. Then she cuts herself trying to pick up the broken glass. Jim realises that she's now in a state, tells her to leave the clearing up to him, and decides to shut the shop while he clears up the mess. He suggests they have a cup of tea, since Helen looks as if she could do with one, and tells her to choose some biscuits to have with it. When she offers to pay for them he says that she can't, she's lost her card, and she at once tells him she has found it in her bag. He orders her to choose something chocolatey and turn the sign to 'closed' while he sweeps up the glass. She asks why he is being so lovely, and when he says because he is lovely, asks whether he heard the news about Rob. Yes, he did.

After some chat about Brian's new watch, Brian and Stella are discussing what they would do with the land and barn at Grange Farm if they succeed it buying it at the auction. Stella wants to test new variety crops on the land after five years under herbal leys, and Brian plans five or so holiday lets in a barn conversion. Ed then knocks on the door hoping for a word with them about a 'business proposition'.

It seems that everyone at Brian's party seeming to know Rob was dead upset Helen, and then his brother came to see her and it was quite upsetting too. She could have done without it. Jim wonders why he came to see her, and she explains about him bringing her Rob's wedding ring, then says that ever since she saw him she's been feeling worse, not better: not quite in her own body, not in her own head, like the thing with the bank card that was in her purse all along... Jim says she sounds very discombobulated, a word Helen likes the sound of a lot, and tries again to tempt her with a biscuit. He then says he is sure it will get easier, and that she needs to be very gentle on herself and not do too much rushing around – or picking up broken glass with her bare hands. Helen knows it sounds grisly, but she almost wishes that she could see Rob's body. Maybe it's weird to say it, but she just wants to feel that she's safe, that he cannot get them, he can never come back. It's just so hard to believe he's actually gone. Jim understands what she means, and proceeds to tell her about having gone to the funeral of the man who abused him as a child, and how difficult it was not to say anything against him to the people who were mourning him. Helen is shocked and is so sorry; he thanks her. He remembers feeling shattered afterwards, though he didn't even enter the church, as if he had run a marathon or climbed a mountain; Helen thinks maybe mentally he had, and he supposes that to be true. They driven hundreds of miles to get there. Helen asks anxiously whether he had people to support him, and he tells her that he had Alistair and Jazzer, who were both wonderful: he is lucky in that respect. She wants to know how he feels now: does he still feel haunted? No, he doesn't; it doesn't go away, of course, it can't be erased, but something has shifted for him and simply knowing that he can never bump into his abuser again [in another seventy years? Gus] is a wonderful feeling. Very liberating.

Ed is trying to sell his idea to Brian and Stella by telling them he is in a bit of a bind and he's gone to Woodside, Paradise and Red House farms and they are all no good, so he was wondering if they'd let him move his Texel flock up to Home Farm. Brian points out that they already have two hundred and fifty ewes from Brookfield, plus the rams; Ed knew that, so what difference is seventy-odd ewes and rams going to make? [On 6th November what he had were thirty ewes and fifty-two lambs, and he made no mention of rams. Chris] He knows they have plenty of land, and they could section off a parcel for him. Brian, being reasonable, points out that all their pasture is already being grazed, and Stella feels she ought to point out that they are bidding for the Grange Farm land, which Ed had guessed they would be. Brian suggests they might need to have a think, which perks Ed up; he says 'Really?' in a hopeful voice, while Stella says 'really?' in a completely incredulous one. Brian temporises: before they say 'no' outright he'd like to talk it through with Stella and see if they can move things around a little. She reluctantly agrees, and says that obviously they would love to help Ed; he thanks them profusely and says he would be ever so grateful if they just have a think about it; if they can't, they can't.

Jim is sure he has enough credit in the bank with Susan for it not to matter if the shop is closed for as long as it takes for him to calm Helen; he will say something personal and unavoidable came up. She tells him that she thinks she is better now and the only reason she had the accident was that she is so tired: she couldn't sleep last night for going over the whole relationship in her mind from start to finish, and when she did finally sleep she dreamt about Him and woke up scared as well as relieved. Jim is sympathetic and says that he used to dream quite a lot about That Man, but not any more; he hasn't dreamt about him for a long time now. Helen is scared that Rob will always be living in her head and that she'll always be his victim before she's anything else, that that is how people will think of her and see her and talk about her. Jim firmly tells her that isn't his experience of you-know-who. He isn't the same person that he would have been, but at the same time the abuse is only a small part of the story and he's lived a wonderful life in almost every way. For some reason this finally persuades Helen to eat one of the biscuits that he has opened. She thanks him, not just for the biscuit but for everything. They chew together for a moment before he asks 'good, huh?' and she replies 'really good'. He tells her to believe him, things will get better in time: maybe not as quickly as it takes for that cut to heal, but it will heal, and she'll look down at her hand one day and forget she ever got hurt. She's going to be all right, he tells her comfortingly, in fact better than that: he really thinks she'll thrive from now on. She agrees that maybe she really will.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 23rd November, 2023

Ian spits the dummy again; Adil fails to run away again; Azra incoming at three o'clock.

Characters: Oliver, Adil, Brian, Ian, Azra
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Julie Beckett
Editor: Jeremy Howe

In discussion with Adil, Oliver reckons that with the partners' new money and the money from the sale of the Grange Farm land they should have enough to finish all the bedrooms. Adil seems nervous but confirms that they will. His idea is that they should get the kitchen and restaurant up and running first, because the restaurant would generate revenue even if there are no bedrooms. To this end, he has found some nearly new kitchen fittings from a restaurant, La Femme du Monde, which went bankrupt last year shortly after a complete refurb; they will sell their functional, efficient, storage-savvy kitchen for about twenty per cent of its value. Oliver is delighted; he has to go to meet Brian for a coffee, but shouldn't be long, and as he leaves he tells Adil to have that chat with Ian.

Brian and Oliver chat about the party, which Oliver enjoyed, and then about Natalia, who turns out to have been on Brian's cookery course and to have known Jennifer from the W.I. Brian met her in Felpersham by chance and invited her along.

Ian walks into Adil's office looking for Oliver, is offhand and dismissive to Adil, but seems to take pleasure in telling him after some gratuitous unpleasantness that he is only there to hand in his notice because everything is very much not all right. Adil is shocked, then promises that everything is going to be all right, and Ian insultingly asks whether he thinks Ian trusts his promises. He doesn't want to hear anything from Adil; he just wants to get out of there. He'll speak to Oliver when Oliver gets back, and meanwhile has to do some training with his team whom he hired and who can't work properly in the kitchen [that he didn't bother to look at while he was hiring them. Chris]. Adil tries to tell him about the kitchen they might be able to buy at the greatly reduced price, but Ian dismissively trashes him again before he is able to do so, and walks out.

It seems that Brian wishes Oliver had given him first refusal of the Grange Farm land, but Oliver just needs to get the best price for it that's possible, and when Brian says he might have made a very good offer, tells him that if he is the highest bidder at the auction then he will get the land. Thus politely rebuffed, Brian says philosophically that he thought it was worth a try.

In a distressed state, Adil rings Azra to tell her that Ian just resigned [again; how many times is it now? Chris]; she allows him to tell her his woes, expresses her faith in him, but doesn't have time to talk to him. When he says that he just wants to run away she tells him that he cannot do that, and he admits that he knows he can't. As he rings off he is hailed by Oliver, who has overheard his hysterical remark about running away and been worried by it; Adil assures him that he was just venting to his sister, then tells him that Ian has handed his notice in. As Oliver exclaims 'what!?' Adil goes on to say that Ian doesn't know about the new kitchen yet; he will see if he can persuade him to stay. Oliver is dubious, saying that sadly, he is not surprised, and they can't force Ian to stay. Adil says he will talk to him at lunch-time, they both can, and he promises Oliver that he's not going anywhere: he wouldn't do that to him again. He explains that things were really bad in October, and now it is November he is much better. Things are always bad in October, though May is worse; Oliver gently points out that Adil has lost him, and Adil decides just to say it really quickly, really fast, like someone running along a high wall and not looking down. Basically he should be a blissfully happy married man with a child and another one on the way, but his fiancée was killed in May 2020, [on the last day of the first lockdown, 11th May. Chris] and it kills him for some reason that he can't call her his wife so sometimes he does call her his wife, because if he starts explaining the whole thing about how they should have been married he starts crying and he can't be crying in front of people he doesn't know but he doesn't mind crying in front of Oliver for some reason, and the day he packed his bags in October [16th. Chris] was her birthday so it's around her birthday and the anniversary of her death, that's when he falls apart, but his sister says that he needs to develop coping strategies, which he will do ... He pauses for breath, and Oliver gets a word in at last. It is simply 'Adil', but spoken with deep sympathy, and when Adil apologises for his monologue Oliver tells him that it was very honest of him, and Oliver appreciates it. He asks the woman's name, and Adil tells him it was Sabha and she was twenty-nine years old, then goes on to say she was fantastic, and would have killed him for running away from this job if only she was alive to kill him. But then he probably wouldn't have run away in the first place, would he. He starts to speculate about string theory and parallel universes, and when he pauses again Oliver gently says that he has talked to Adil about Caroline, and wonders why Adil didn't just talk to him. Adil despairingly says that he doesn't know: because he felt pathetic, because he thought he was OK, because he was embarrassed? Lots of reasons. Oliver feels he could have helped him: Adil didn't need to be on his own.

Later, Adil is talking on the phone arranging to be over this afternoon [presumably accompanied by Ian, to look at the kitchen. Chris] when Azra knocks on his door; she has come over once she was no longer too busy to talk. She wants him to come for lunch, or at least to eat, and she is glad he called her. He tells her that he is getting his head round things and can't afford to wander off-site; she decides to go and get him a sandwich and bring it to him. She wants to help. Oh, and she just met Ian and told him that Adil is great, and doing his best to resolve the situation, and Ian should trust him. She did this in her capacity as Adil's respectable sister, the doctor. She didn't plan it: she was trying to find the office and ended up in the kitchen. Adil realises that he needs to go and talk to Ian, while Azra thinks she really did Adil some good. He doesn't care what sandwich she buys for him; he just wants Ian to go with him and see the kitchen they are buying, state of the art, nearly new. Before he goes to talk to Ian, she wants to tell him that she has got the GP job in Darrington, about which Adil exclaims delightedly; that means she will be moving; her daughter Zainab doesn't mind the idea, and she has not yet told Khalil. Adil points out that Khalil is a teenage boy and she's going to drag him out into the middle of nowhere: Adil foresees trouble because of that. She promises she will tell Khalil tonight [because his sister definitely won't have mentioned it. At all. Gus]. Then she sends Adil to talk to Ian, and herself goes to buy that sandwich.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 24th November, 2023

Tom says it with flowers, Henry is his mother's One Ewe Lamb, and Ed channels Joe.

Characters: Tom, Helen, Ed, Stella, Adam, Ian, Henry
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Julie Beckett
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Tom has brought Helen some flowers because he owes her an apology for having told anyone Rob was dead. All she wanted was a nice evening with no reminders [at Blossom Hill Cottage! Hahahahahahahahaha. Chris] and everyone at Brian's party knew: Adam, Ruairi, Jakob, Kate, even Martyn Gibson. Helen assures him she had a really nice time, then wonders why Martyn Gibson was even there [good question. Same applies to Paul Mack. Chris] and Tom supposes someone thought it was wise or diplomatic to invite him. She thanks Tom for the flowers, and says they are gorgeous. She left the party at ten-thirty, Tom at two am, which didn't much please Natasha. Helen invites him in.

The answer that Stella has to give to Ed, when he comes round to ask whether she and Brian have had a chance to think over his proposal, is No. She says she is really sorry, so Ed argues: they have such a lot of land! Yes, agrees Stella, but not to spare; and he must know in his heart that two separate flocks on one farm is not on, thinking about movement restrictions alone: David would be scuppered for getting to market and it would be hopeless for Ed showing his sheep. He just hoped (with a deep sigh) that they could have found a way to help. Stella suggests talking to the local NFU members, which he hasn't: he was hoping to sort something with Home Farm. He says he has been round all the farms asking, and is at a loss now. Stella assures him that if they could help, they would.

Tom asks how the boys are doing but Helen can't really say. When she got round to telling Jack that Rob had died, on Wednesday, he was a bit sad but then asked to watch videos, so she is waiting for a delayed reaction. She doesn't feel so worried about Henry, because he can articulate his feelings, but Jack is so young and it's been a lot for him to take on. [Sic. Chris.] She is worried because he had a bad nightmare about something she didn't think all that frightening; Tom reminds her that this does happen to kids, but Helen seems to want it to be about Jack having lost two father-figures in a month. She doesn't know what to make of Jack perhaps thinking Rob someone who might turn out to be good in the end, to Jack, but Lee... Lee is a real loss. She feels terribly guilty about him. Tom tries to comfort her with platitudes, and she mentions Lee moving to America since there's not much to keep him here now, which surprises her brother. Henry comes in asking what is for dinner, and she suggests they could order pizza, which delights him; they hardly ever had it because Lee was so into healthy eating, and Helen doesn't even like it. She protests that they do have pizza and they are not deprived children, and Tom claims to be tempted to stay, but when Henry presses him to do so explains that he can't: Natasha is cooking something healthy tonight. Henry says a heartfelt 'hard luck' and immediately asks if they can order chocolate fudge brownies with their pizzas, and Helen agrees they can; he goes off to tell Jack.

Brian having offered to babysit, Ian is at The Bull discussing his position with Adam, wanting to know whether he is being an idiot to trust Adil; Adam doesn't know, but thinks that Ian obviously wants to stay. Ian admits that he does, because he is dying to use that new kitchen from Femme du Monde; it's so beautiful. [Ian was employed to be Interim Head of Food, not Chef. Chris.] And he would get a lot of control over layout and those kind of decisions; it would be really satisfying to have it laid out the way he wants it. He just wants Adam's support, which Adam tells him that he has, always. At this point Ed comes over and greets them.

Once Jack is in bed Helen suggests to Henry that they could watch a film, leaving choice of film to him, but doesn't know where the remote is. As they look for it, Henry remarks that he thinks it was the right thing, splitting up with Lee. He heard her talking to Tom about it, and it is his opinion that you shouldn't stay with someone if you don't love them any more: it's not fair on them, and it's not fair on you. When Helen tells him that's a mature insight he sighs and says not really, they were just learning it in school in PSHE: this week was relationships and divorce, so that was quite handy. He adds there was a bit of psychology too, and he is getting quite interested in that; he might even do it for job. Helen thinks it is a very interesting job; he's a bit young to know what he wants to do, but it doesn't hurt to find out more. Henry thinks he might do it for A-level, and Helen laughs indulgently as she tells him that's years away. Then she asks if he misses Lee; he says 'sometimes' and Jack definitely does, so she says she feels so bad for the two of them and Henry magnanimously tell her it will be OK because they've got her, and she's the best and the greatest. Touched, she tells him that most of the time she feels like a walking train-wreck, and he tells her that they love her, and she loves them, and that's what matters; when she tells him he's going to make her cry he tells her that he's sorry, but adds that it is good to cry sometimes, or at least he feels better after he's cried. He wouldn't say that to anyone at school, though, because he's not an idiot. As she agrees that he is really not, he finds the remote, and Helen tells him he is a fantastic human, and insists she is not saying that just because she's his mum. Then she asks where he'd go if he could go anywhere in the world, and he says Paris, to watch PSG [Paris Saint-Germain F.C. Chris] against, well, anyone really. Helen doesn't know how easy it would be to get tickets, but when he says it might be impossible decides that she is going to try.

In The Bull, the somewhat drunken Ed is rehearsing his woes to a bored audience of Ian and Adam, who remain polite as he tells them things are always the same, the rich get richer and the rest just scrape a living. Ian and Adam seem disproportionately glad to see Stella, who comes up and gets an earful of Ed for her trouble, though when Adam tells he Ed is feeling a bit hard-done-by Ed fulsomely assures her it's not her fault. Sounding exactly like Joe, Ed insists that land is Grundy land and their souls live in that soil; when the others try to cheer him up and tell him that something may turn up and he never knows, he says that he knows, he does know, because he's lived this story all his life.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 26th November, 2023

Harry appears transparent, and Justin fancies himself as devious.

Characters: Alice, Harry, Lilian, Justin
Credited scriptwriter:
Daniel Thurman
Director
s: Julie Beckett and Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Alice's date with Harry Chilcott involves a Syndicate Sunday as guests of a racehorse trainer whom Harry has known for a long time. As they go down from the gallops to the stable yard and barn and some lunch Harry reassures her that not owning shares in one of his horses is no bar to her being there; she runs her own yard [she hasn't told him it is not her yard, then. Chris] and Richard will love talking with her. He asks how Lilian's plans to expand are progressing, and Alice explains that while she has her heart set on the Grange Farm land she is torn between two ideas: an equine spa, or an outdoor arena. Alice thinks the spa idea makes more sense, both would cost thousands, but once her auntie gets fixed on something she tends to fight for it. She nervously mentions it being ages since she went on a date, and after a bit of embarrassment they agree that they are indeed on a date and are happy with the idea. He then says they'll go in and grab a drink and some food with the owners, and Alice is embarrassed again by having to say that she doesn't really drink and hasn't for a while; Harry at once says he is having a detox too, which reassures her.

To Lilian's surprise, Justin has not gone to The Bull as he intended but is still at the computer. When she sees he is looking at a map of Grange Farm and he tells her that BL might be putting in a bid for the land there, on which they'd be able to build quite a few houses, she immediately takes steps to put him off, warning him that the Grundys are very opposed to the sale and are capable of being a great nuisance over it. Would BL really want all that aggravation? He concedes that he can see where she is coming from, and mentions an alternative site BL have been 'scoping', and how he might recommend them to focus their attention there. She sends him off to the pub while she stays in to fix lunch, and he thanks her for the warning about the Grundys.

It seems that Richard has indeed enjoyed talking to Alice, at least according to Harry, because she really knows her stuff; she disclaims to the effect that she has just spent her entire life around horses [apart from the years between the ages of seventeen and thirty-four, during which she occasionally went for a ride on a horse given to her by her father but otherwise had nothing much to do with them. Chris] starting with the Pony Club like her elder sisters and going to gymkhanas and eventing competitions when she was twelve and thirteen, not to mention junior hunter trials and pairs at Faircastle, where she came seventh once. She doesn't know why she is bringing it up when he is the one with the glittering career: Badminton, Burghley, even Kentucky, the big three of three-day eventing; it is his turn to minimise his achievements, saying he has hung up his boots now. He would much rather talk about her. He asks whether she ever thought about going back to competing, and she says that she toyed with it a couple of years ago but she was never that good, and in any case doesn't have much time: as well as running The Stables she has a daughter, Martha. She co-parents with her ex, and since Martha is only a toddler when Alice is not working she tends to be with her. She's with her dad this weekend, but Alice misses her: she's so much fun and knows exactly how to make Alice laugh. She really is the loveliest little girl, dotes Alice, and when Harry says she sounds it, she eagerly tells him she's got pictures if he'd like to see her. With enormous enthusiasm, he says 'Yes. Show me.' He would love to see them.

On his return Justin tells Lilian that he has been talking to Adam at the pub, and Adam has casually let drop that Lilian is interested in purchasing the land at Grange Farm. She attempts, not very successfully, to justify her misleading advice to him, and also to claim that it doesn't apply to her; then she pleads with him. This is entirely unsuccessful, since he regards her ideas for a horse spa or outdoor arena as absurd and expensive, and he is a major investor in The Stables. In any case builders and materials are in very short supply so it would be years before she could realise any of this stuff; she pertinently suggests that the same is true of his building plans. After a certain amount of squabbling he taunts her by saying he has discovered the identity of another interested party.

The partial mother is convinced that Martha is angelic even when smeared with spaghetti bolognese, and Harry agrees that she is gorgeous; he is offered further pictures, of Martha smeared with porridge and with ice-cream, and then one in which she is spotless, all dressed up for her second birthday. Harry thinks she is very cute and has a lovely smile; he thinks she is clearly a great kid and Alice is right to be proud. He can tell she is a fantastic mum. [Like Jim, he requires no actual evidence before making this statement. Chris.] Alice thanks him, and for the day: she's had a great time and it's been amazing but, she says hesitantly, she should probably head home. Harry accepts this and hopes they can see each other again; when she makes agreeable noises he chances his arm to ask whether she's free on Wednesday: he knows he's supposed to look less keen, but he doesn't want to wait a fortnight just for show. Alice giggles and says OK; she appreciates his honesty. When he says he just thought they could have dinner somewhere, she agrees that sounds lovely.

Lilian gets the information about their rivals for the land out of Justin by threatening to withhold lunch unless he tells her, and mentioning that in any case she could just ask Adam herself; he is talking about Tom and Natasha, of course. She is saddened that it won't be just the two of them fighting it out, and Justin suggests they might work together to nobble the opposition and then fight it out between them. They have a couple of weeks before the auction; with their devious minds they'll run rings round them, he chortles.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 27th November, 2023

Natasha sees right through Justin; Jakob is grimly determined to see things through.

Characters: Alan, Jakob, Sykesy, Justin, Natasha
Credited scriptwriter:
Daniel Thurman
Director
s: Julie Beckett and Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

As they wait for the mourners to arrive at the funeral Alan and Jakob discuss the hymns, which Jakob already knows. The deceased is Ted Barrett, ex-inmate of The Laurels and resident funny-man there; his is to be an upbeat funeral, with everyone in bright colours and a funny eulogy written by his family for Alan to give. He was popular, so there should be a decent turn-out; Alan, still harping on his church being 'boycotted' by a few of his congregation, says that is unlike recent weeks, and when Jakob makes sympathetic remarks, gloomily says that Peggy has still not come back. Alan takes the opportunity to ask whether Jakob has had any more thoughts about this year's Christmas Show; Jakob has indeed, but all his ideas sound dire. Alan hastily says that he and Usha appreciate Jakob taking it on but wouldn't mind being more involved: the fact is that they really don't feel comfortable burdening Jakob with so much responsibility, and he is under no obligation. Unfortunately Jakob has fixed on the idea and doesn't want to let the community down, but is eventually persuaded he can let it go; he says this is a weight off his mind. Sykesy then arrives and is uncharacteristically cheerful; he is living somewhere else now but when he was at The Laurels Ted was one of the saving graces. [When he was living at The Laurels Sykesy was a notoriously antisocial and miserable git; version 2.0 is completely different. Chris] He then repeats a very weak joke he attributes to Ted, and laughs heartily at it; Alan also laughs, while Jakob says 'Most amusing', with the enthusiasm generally accorded to finding a dead hedgehog in the fridge, before going away to look through the music. Sykesy goes in too.

Meeting Natasha outside the village shop with the buggy full of Twins, Justin strikes up a conversation with her by talking of her and Tom's taking over the tea-rooms on Wednesday, and somewhat over-praising their proposed alterations to the decor; noticeably, she does not join him in trashing Fallon's ideas. He says that it sounds as though she and Tom are keen to try out new things, and with all the subtlety of a Sussex axeman asks if they have anything else on the horizon, so she tells him about them having their eyes on the land Oliver is selling at Grange Farm: Tom thinks they could grow flowers over there, for cut flowers or bio-degradable wedding confetti. She mentions not having put their business plan together because they have been so busy with the tea-room, and Justin at once volunteers to help by casting an eye on the basic ideas and figures they have thrown together; when she seems about to go on her way he offers to do it immediately over coffee at The Bull. She agrees.

Alan is dutifully telling lame jokes for the Eulogy, with a congregation dutifully tittering along, sometimes without prompting. He also reveals that Edward Neville Barrett, a farmer, was born in 1930 in Ambridge.

After being fulsomely praised by Natasha [in a way which makes it reasonably clear she has smelt a rat . Chris] for selflessly taking such an interest in her and Tom's business, Justin is able to be thoroughly discouraging about Tom and Natasha's scheme, saying that her figures just don't add up: it would be cheaper to pull the barn down and rebuild than to repair it for use as a warehouse. He says he is sorry to rain on her parade, while she 'bravely' reassures him that it's not his fault if the figures just don't work; well, that's that then. Then a thought strikes her: or perhaps they could try a different approach. He might have sparked an idea... If she and Tom are going to buy the land, maybe instead of converting the old barn they should just think of knocking it down and building a new house for themselves. This has always been a dream of hers. She can't wait to tell Tom! She is going to hurry home and share the news. She rushes away in a flurry of thanks; left in her wake, Dick Dastardly Justin mutters 'damnation'.

After the funeral, Sykesy is praising Alan for doing a smashing job and bringing the house down, and Jakob comes over to interrupt them. He's clearly forgotten that Alan told him he no longer needs to worry about the Christmas show or that not doing so was a weight off his mind, because he tells Alan that he has given him some inspiration for the show. In spite of Alan's protests, and egged on by Sykesy, he outlines a plan for an evening of stand-up comedy with a twist: all the acts will be local farmers! He produces several cringe-making possible names for this extravaganza, which clearly horrify Alan; while Sykesy thinks it sounds like a brilliant idea, Alan evidently does not. Sykesy then expresses a desire to be involved, produces yet another dire farming 'joke', and offers Jakob his details, while Alan groans audibly in the background.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 28th November, 2023

We were supposed to laugh, this episode.

Characters: Fallon, Emma, Lynda, Jakob, Tom
Credited scriptwriter:
Daniel Thurman
Director
s: Julie Beckett and Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

At the tea-room, Fallon and Emma are having a good old gripe about Tom and his 'management' style, constantly in the tea-room and complaining about what they do from a position of complete ignorance. He's got plenty to keep him busy without trying to micro-manage the tea-room. He'll be even worse when he and Natasha take over tomorrow, and he's so disruptive already, poking his nose into the kitchen and constantly asking questions about where they get supplies and what exact measurements they use for everything. They feel spied on. However, they've created some cheese biscuits for Grey Gables without any input from him and Adil has asked for tons more for the end of the week, which pleases Fallon. She reckons they should jump on the Grey Gables gravy train: she needs to embrace the positive; she has no idea what he wants her biscuits for, but let's stop whinging and go and make some more. Unfortunately, as they are about to do so Fallon sees Tom through the window on his way in.

The llamas needing a check-up, a couple of months early, has been Lynda's excuse for cornering Jakob about his Christmas show; as he tries to get off to his next appointment she starts talking about it at him, and he seems unable to escape. She's heard about his idea and after making some utterly cringeworthy suggestions for its title lets Jakob know that she wants to be involved. He assumes she means in the organisation and does his best to put her off, but no: after some theoretically funny misunderstanding during which Jakob is firm about her not helping to organise things it becomes clear that what she wants is to perform.

In disbelief, Fallon repeats Tom's new idea: kale croissants. He is absolutely determined that she has got to consider the idea: he is trying to think outside the box. Fallon says they could do kale as a filling, no problem, but Tom thinks that is boring: what he wants is kale baked into the pastry. Fallon tries to be patient as she explains it wouldn't work, because the water content in kale is too high: the pastry would just turn to mush. He wants her to ask Emma, and Fallon informs him that Emma is busy out the back, so he agrees to park the idea for a bit and comes out with his next idea: cauliflower eclairs. Fallon murmurs that those are not two words you tend to hear together, and Tom proudly tells her that he has invented them: the Bridge Farm Cauliflower Eclair, with puréed cauliflower instead of cream. When Fallon asks if there will be chocolate he instantly replies that of course you can't have an eclair without chocolate. Fallon, faintly, doesn't know what to say and not entirely in a good way. He tells her that the problem is that she is too set in her ways: Heston Blumenthal didn't get where he is today without experimenting! [Where is he these days, anyway? Chris.] He pushes [sic. Tom did not say 'pushed', even though the recipes he mentions were over twenty years ago. Chris] the envelope, insists Tom: snail porridge, bacon-and-egg ice-cream: they need to employ a bit of that creativity. He isn't trying to pull rank, but they are going to have to get used to this new way of working. Indignantly Fallon asks if he means him instructing her what to do, and he, in a voice oozing with sweet reason, says that all he is asking is that she gives these bakes a go: if they won't work, show him they won't. He then tries to butter her up by telling her he knows what a brilliant multi-tasker she is when she tells him she has a million and one other things to do, and is sure she has some rested dough back there. Resignedly Fallon agrees to see what she can do; triumphantly, Tom says that then Emma can do a taste test: since Fallon has already written off his recipes, they will need someone with an open mind.

Lynda is busy claiming that she is extremely funny, and offering up totally unfunny examples of her humour, but Jakob points out that she is not a farmer, and the point of the evening is that the performers should all be farmers, and she is not one. She asserts that she is: just because she doesn't have acres of agricultural land or sheds full of livestock that doesn't mean she is not a farmer. She has both land and animals, as well as a considerable vegetable patch. After spending some while beating his head against the brick wall of her obduracy, and her insistence that if Sykesy is eligible so is she, he capitulates and agrees to put her on the list.

As easily anticipated, when Tom insists on a taste test even though Emma has customers to serve, the kale croissant is a pile of mush which Emma decides to pass on if he doesn't mind, and the cauliflower eclair nearly makes her sick. He insists that he wants her honest opinion: she is to forget he's the big boss for a minute and just give him her thoughts; so she does. She informs him that it is one of the most disgusting things she has ever tasted in her life. Hopefully, he suggests that perhaps it's just an acquired taste, and she tells him bluntly that it tastes as if someone's been sick in the choux pastry, and when he starts to speak of a more educated palate she talks over him to tell him that she's sorry, but it is horrible. He sighs and admits that he did ask for her honest opinion, but then starts to imply that the problem might be in the baking, and the issue more the method than the ingredients; he wants Emma and Fallon to spend the afternoon trying to perfect them. Emma protests that they are a little bit busy today, and as she is trying to get him to stop being so unreasonable Fallon comes out triumphantly with a tray of cauliflower-and-kale filled, mis-pronounced empanadas. She wants Tom and Emma to try them, being careful not to burn themselves since they are fresh out of the oven, and find them delicious; smugly, Fallon thinks that the two flavours really complement each other. There is also cumin in there. Tom is prepared to admit they beat his ideas; Fallon just thinks it's more 'them', tasty home baking, and he agrees it is certainly that and in fact should go on sale immediately. All right, they can forget about the cauliflower eclairs and the kale croissants, but he wants to new bakes on the menu. Don't worry, he has another idea: sprout strudel.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 29th November, 2023

Alice changes her mind, and Natasha does an about-face.

Characters: Alice, Ian, Tom, Emma, Fallon, Natasha
Credited scriptwriter:
Daniel Thurman
Director
s: Julie Beckett and Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Wanting advice about dating Harry, Alice has sought out Ian, who tells her he has handed in his notice at Grey Gables and is now having second thoughts about it. He doesn't want to hang 'his team' out to dry, and also doesn't know what to do next, with the pizza van bookings dropped off over winter. Does Martha want a biscuit? he adds inconsequentially, but Alice reckons she's happy in the other room playing with Xander. Ian asking about Sadie (who is recovering fine) gives Alice the opportunity to tell him that the horse's owner, far from suing them, ended up asking her out. Ian wants details, and gets them: he's called Harry Chilcott and he's a former three-day eventer who now trains sports horses. Ian thinks he sounds right up her street, especially when she tells him about them going together to see the gallops at one of his friends' stables. It was the first time she's been on a date and not drunk, and it was OK, she tells Ian, and because the sports-conscious Harry doesn't really touch alcohol she didn't feel any pressure to drink. It was nice and relaxed and she had a lovely time; he's nice, and interested in her life, and they talked a lot about Martha. Ian is very pleased for her and very encouraging, and is surprised when she says that though Harry asked her out for another date, she has texted him and cancelled.

The keys of the tea-room are being handed to Tom at the end of the working day, and he wants Emma to take photographs of Fallon giving them to him. Fallon thinks this is silly because he'll only have to give them back again, since she is opening up tomorrow, but he says it's a symbolic gesture and insists. He also wants them both to see the new signage, of which he has been sent the mock-ups. He seems to be changing the name of the place to 'Terum', which he maintains is 'tearoom' in Swedish, to go with their new Scandinavian aesthetic. A name like that will complement all the oriented strand board furniture [this can't be right! That's building material, not suited for furniture at all. Chris]; the carpenter said he'd be dropping off all the materials this evening. Tom will now get on with the stock-take while the two women start moving all the furniture outside: Natasha is coming over shortly to give them a hand. He goes off and leaves them seriously fed up with him, though Fallon sees no point in saying anything about the awfulness of his idea for the name: Emma's seen how he is with the menu, he's just not listening, so why should she waste her breath?

Alice is explaining to Ian that going on a date is too risky and she doesn't want to make herself vulnerable again, while he argues that bringing someone new into your life can be scary but she ought to give it a try. He asks whether she is nervous about telling Harry she's a member of Alcoholics Anonymous, which of course she is, but she is thinking even further ahead than that, about what might happen in the future, and there's just too much at stake. She went to an AA meeting yesterday and it made her think this thing with Harry isn't a good idea right now and she just needs to stop it before it starts, because it's better that way, it's less dangerous: a woman at the meeting recounted her experience when a relationship broke down because the man started having an affair with someone else, and she started drinking again when the relationship fell apart. Alice is frightened in case the same happens to her.

The chairs having all been brought outside what was the tea-room, it is time for the tables. Natasha is sorry they can't offer Fallon a barn to store the old tea-room furniture in, but unfortunately they're all chockablock at the minute; Fallon resignedly tells her that Will is coming with his van to pick it up and it will have to go to Woodbine Cottage for now. She hopes to sell everything pretty quickly. Natasha compliments her on it and tells her she'd like to buy a couple of the chairs for Seren and Nova when they're older: she likes the colours Fallon chose. She also wants to assure Fallon that they will all work to make sure the business, which she describes as being 'as much your baby as it is ours', thrives. She doesn't want Fallon to feel sidelined or dismissed; seriously, Fallon must be able to tell them how she feels about things and to raise issues. Fallon appreciates her saying that; Natasha reiterates that Fallon has got to be honest and when Fallon asks 'really?' asks if there is something bothering her.

Ian continues to try to to convince Alice that the AA woman is not her, though he does understand that she is afraid the 'thing' with Harry might push her back into drinking. She explains that one can develop an addiction to relationships: recovery can be so lonely, you end up transferring the dependence onto another person, and that just leads to relapses. She has read this on line: someone's experience of dating in recovery. Ian can appreciate why stories like this have made her worry, but he points out these people are not her and it doesn't sound as if she was looking for anything romantic and it wasn't her who went after Harry. Alice agrees: actually, she turned him down at first. Ian thinks that dating should be part of the healthy life she's made for herself, and it sounds as if she really likes this guy. If she has a good feeling about him, why not give it a chance? She feels that it's now too late, because she cancelled at the last minute, but Ian persuades her to call Harry; she admits that she wants to, but can't think what excuse she can give for cancelling. Ian counsels telling the truth: that her nerves got the better of her, and make sure she schedules another date, ideally this week. She agrees to seize the day.

Back in the tea-room Natasha asks Tom whether a stock-take is really necessary: doesn't he trust Fallon? He changes the subject to them having a chat about the Grange Farm land, describing Justin as a snake, which Natasha knew: she preens herself about the way she handled him but is not sidetracked. Before they discuss that, she wants to talk about the new signage for the tea-room; he says he showed it to Fallon and Emma and they were really keen [Is he stupid or a liar? Chris], but she simply says she isn't. She can't help being reminded of all the nonsense over The Bull changing its name. 'Terum' is as pretentious as 'The B@Ambridge' and she thinks they should cancel the order. Tom is seriously taken aback and says he can't do that, but she is firm: he can, and he should. She's let him please himself with the menu, so she'd appreciate him taking her advice on this one. Tom grumbles but gives way, then asks if all the furniture is gone; all but two chairs which she has bought for Seren and Nova, on which Fallon is going to paint the girls' names, included in the price. Tom wants to know what that was, and when she tells him fifty quid for the pair exclaims in horror, voice breaking with emotion, that Fallon probably found them in a skip and they are junk: what possessed her to fork out for them? Natasha explains that she is feeling compassionate for Fallon, because today must be really hard for her; Tom says crossly that she shouldn't indulge her and they've got to draw a professional boundary and Fallon is staff, after all. Natasha has had enough and sharply tells him to stop that, right now: she tolerates a lot from him, but she won't have him spouting this 'lord of the manor' nonsense. The fact is, Fallon has put blood, sweat and tears into this place, and he needs to look after her, not spend all his time trying to put her in her place. She wants him to remember that. A cowed Tom mutters 'OK'. They're standing on Fallon's shoulders, and Tom is to give her the respect she deserves.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 30th November, 2023

Lynda proposes a solution, and Adil keeps his own counsel.

Characters: Harrison, Fallon, Helen, Ian, Lynda, Adil
Credited scriptwriter:
Daniel Thurman
Director
s: Julie Beckett and Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The unreasonable furniture at Woodbine Cottage is defying arrangement and taking over the house; both Fallon and Harrison are feeling a little overwhelmed. Fallon plans to sell it on line, but first has to photograph it individually and list it, which would have been easier when it was at the tea-room rather than in heaps. She is very fed up with Tom throwing his weight around, and has asked Emma to open up for her. Harrison has to say he's not very impressed by how Tom has been behaving: he doesn't believe the Archers couldn't have found temporary storage at Bridge Farm for the chairs and tables. He offers to help with the photographing. Mysteriously, Lynda wants to take the festoon lights, which won't make much of a dent in the clutter but every little helps.

The delivery of a large amount of food has Ian baffled; he tells Helen that he didn't order it, and she cheerfully informs him that Tom just said it was all for Grey Gables. He tries to repudiate the order, saying there must be some mistake, but Helen shows him the order form; it has no name on it, just 'Grey Gables'. He feels it makes no sense, since they are not open and nobody has said anything to him. Helen also has an order of cheese in the van, which she knows was placed by Adil; Fallon is bringing some biscuits over later too. Ian reads off the order form: bags of potatoes, carrots, leeks, squash, parsnips, cauliflower – he has no idea what all this stuff is for.

Lynda has come for the lights, which apparently are for Adil though he didn't say what he wanted them for. Harrison offers to carry them to the car for her, while Fallon clears some space for her to sit down and have some tea. The chaos inevitably reminds Lynda of Ionesco's The Chairs, an allusion which goes over Fallon and Harrison's heads and has to be explained just as Harrison is involved in a minor avalanche of furniture. Fallon is distraught: they can't be expected to live like this! Lynda doesn't mean to pry, she claims, but is everything all right? Harrison explains that Tom is being a nightmare at the tea-room, though Fallon corrects this: the Terum, as it is now going to be called. 'The what?' asks Lynda. Fallon has to say Natasha has been great, and very understanding, but it feels like Tom just wants to boss her about for the sake of it. Lynda tries her best to be comforting, but really isn't because it seems to Fallon she is being dismissive of her troubles.

Adil is sorry he wasn't there to greet Helen as he had intended: she tells him not to worry because she has left the cheese in the kitchen, though she was worried whether their agreement still held; Adil promises her that nothing has changed. He gives her his standard Grey Gables Pep Talk about farm-to-table catering that is seasonal and sustainable. He tells her he got held up talking to his sister, about whom Helen has nothing but praise as a fabulous GP; Adil ruefully remarks she can also be a bossy big sister. It's great she got the job in Darrington, but he suspects that having her around might begin to test his patience. Helen points out that from Tom's point of view she is herself the bossy big sister, then remembers to tell Adil that, as well as the cheese, she brought over the fruit and veg order from Tom; he is delighted, and also mentions the biscuits from Fallon, which should complement the fizz he has ordered from Lower Loxley. Helen remarks that Ian is rather unsettled by all of this produce turning up; he is inside trying to work out what it is all about. Adil declines to explain, but as he leaves tells her to keep tomorrow night free.

Tea is served to Lynda, with milk but no sugar, who apologises for contributing to all the disarrangement but is pooh-poohed by Fallon: it's fine, in fact it's nice to stop and chat. Harrison offers various biscuits to go with it, including ginger and lemon ones in the tin. Fallon apologises for having got worked up, and Lynda graciously forgives the faux pas on the grounds that she has been under pressure and change can be stressful. She might be able to solve one of Fallon's problems: she may have to ride out her differences with Tom at the tea-rooms, but Lynda thinks she can help regarding all this clutter. She happens to know that Adil is looking to get his hands on some furniture, in fact tables and chairs just like these, and rather urgently. She has a feeling this selection would suit his needs to a T. Fallon is delighted, especially when Lynda mentions him paying a decent price. Leave it with Lynda: she will be seeing Adil as soon as she has left Woodbine Cottage.

Ian is going off on one at Adil, who remains unfailingly courteous in spite of all Ian's rude tone and bluster. Ian asserts that he may have resigned but he still works there, and wants to know if Oliver knows about these orders. Adil says no, and that he would be obliged if Ian doesn't tell him just yet. When Ian accuses him of spending money 'we' haven't got, Adil gently tells him that he paid for all the goods himself, which somewhat takes the wind out of Ian's sails; as he splutters, Adil assures him he doesn't need to worry about waste, because it has all been paid for by him personally. Insultingly, Ian asks whether that is true. Adil assures him that he has his word, at which Ian says angrily that even if that is the case, he still have no idea what this is all about; Adil sweetly tells him that he will, and when Ian demands 'when?' says 'all in good time'. Ian is really not comfortable with this, and says so, adding that Oliver is not going to like having things kept from him, but Adil merely tells him to rest assured, Adil has Grey Gables' best interests at heart, but Ian tells him that might all sound very good but he is still not telling Ian what's going on; he continues abrasively to demand to be told what it is clear Adil has no intention of actually telling him. All he asks is that Ian takes tomorrow off. He'll be sharing more details later on, and speaks of calling it a team-building exercise and a pitch. He has a proposal for Ian, but rather than spin him a line about his intentions he wants to put his money where his mouth is, so that's what he's going to do. Ian fulminates but can get nothing more from him that the promise that all will be revealed.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 1st December, 2023

Ian backs down but doesn't apologise; Alice decides she has nothing to apologise for.

Characters: Oliver, Ian, Adil, Alice, Harry, Harrison
Credited scriptwriter:
Daniel Thurman
Director
s: Julie Beckett and Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Just as Oliver is ringing off from a conversation with Roy, Ian accosts him; Adil has told them both to be on the back lawn at six thirty. Ian is gloomy and disinclined to trust Adil, whereas Oliver definitely wants to be able to. Oliver speaks well of Adil, and Ian disparages him. They hear music, and set off to find out what's going on. As they go, Oliver tells Ian that by promising the kitchen contractors their weekends off and making sure they get overtime, they've agreed to start work at the end of the month. He has arranged delivery of the Femme du Monde kitchen the week before. Ian is congratulatory, but Oliver grumbles that there is still a lot of time when the hotel isn't bringing in any revenue; Ian points out he will still need to pay the kitchen and service staff, and starts to make excuses for their being there. As they round the corner of the building they see a polytunnel with a lot of people in it; Oliver thinks it rather attractive with all those lights, and Ian says he is speechless. They are then greeted by Adil.

On their date Harry and Alice have not yet looked at the menu because they are talking too much. Harry asks after Martha, who has been left with Kate; Alice thinks Harry would like Kate, who is a hoot. Alice apologises for what is clearly the severalth time for cancelling their date, and when Harry mentions the fun they had on Sunday says she'd like to go up on the gallop again: she loved it, it was so exciting. It made her think about competing again, though not as a jockey; Harry knows how she feels and would love nothing more than to compete again, but he can't.

Adil apologises for not having run this past Oliver as he promised he would do with everything: he wanted it to be a surprise. Ian takes it upon himself to say that he thinks Adil is forgiven. There is quite a crowd: employees, suppliers, even what Oliver describes as 'so many of the partners'; he tells Adil it's a wonderful event and congratulates him. Adil thought it would be a good way of bringing everyone together and giving a taste of the new Grey Gables spirit. Since Oliver is strongly in favour, Ian agrees with him. Adil suggests that Oliver could give a speech, but Oliver feels they should do it together. The food was sourced from local farms and was prepared in secret by Ian's team of chefs, while Roy mustered the waiters. The polytunnel was found through an advert on line: it was formerly used to house lambs, but the farmers were selling up and Adil bought it for a song. He has been wondering whether they could keep it going on a temporary basis, until the kitchen is ready. He suggests they could hire Ian's pizza van and run a pop-up pizza restaurant. If the van is parked under the porch, the waiting staff could deliver pizzas through the polytunnel door without getting wet if it rains. He is confident it would work.

Alice is very sorry about Harry being incapacitated for riding, and, after saying that being forced to give up something you love is not the easiest thing to talk about, Harry tells her the whole story. He retired because he had to, his future decided for him by the accident: he was competing in a three-day event in Cheshire and had no idea his life was about to change so drastically. It was during the cross-country leg, he bravely tells her, and he was jumping a log combination on a young horse and came off, a very heavy fall onto his hip, which broke badly. He knew it was all over as he lay there in excruciating pain, and sure enough, he needed a hip replacement, which of course meant the end of his eventing career. Alice is extremely sympathetic. Thanks to the surgeon and the physios, he tells her, he can still ride, but he won't ever be fit enough to compete again. 'It was devastating. Alice.' He tells her brokenly. And it took him a long time to come to terms with; he had a pretty impressive track record and suddenly all of that was taken away from him. In an instant. When Alice asks how he managed he admits that he doesn't think he did, initially. He found it all impossible to accept. Alice comfortingly says look at him now, but he sighs and tells her it broke his marriage, which makes her say 'How awful' in as hushed a tone as he has adopted. He then laughs and says she doesn't want to hear all this, but she says she can understand the strain that sort of thing could bring to a marriage, giving him the encouragement to say that he doesn't usually like to talk about this stuff, but with her it's easier somehow. She seems about to tell him something, but doesn't, then sees Harrison Burns and is disconcerted: he is someone she'd rather avoid. He comes over and is clearly a little drunk and full of bonhomie: he's on a night out with some colleagues with whom he often comes there on a Friday night [a good reason never to go there on a Friday, I'd say. Chris]. He introduces himself by forename, forcing Alice to introduce Harry, who is notably not actually 'pleased to meet you' which he says through gritted teeth.

The discussion of how Ian is to benefit from the polytunnel is going great guns, with Ian deciding on his menu. When asked by Oliver if he is up for it Ian doesn't hesitate: why not? [Why not indeed? It's money for him, in the off-season for a catering van. Chris.] Oliver goes off to do some mingling, leaving Ian to admit to Adil that the night's event is a success and say that he'd really like to move on from what happened before: he thinks they should just wipe the slate clean. He also offers to stay at Grey Gables for longer than he has said he would: he'll stay on until they've appointed someone permanent. When Adil says that's very... kind of him, he says he would be happy to.

Since Harrison is a regular, Harry asks him for advice about what they might like to eat. Predictably, Harrison always has the same thing, the lamb biriyani, which he assures Harry is not too hot; Harry will have that. Alice decides to go for the chicken dhansak. Harrison says he had better let them order and takes himself off, wishing them a nice meal. Once he is gone Harry asks Alice if she is OK, and she explains Harrison is her ex-husband's best friend, which Harry realises explains the slightly odd atmosphere. She feels she looked guilty, but decides after a wobble that there is absolutely no need to: she's single, and not doing anything to be ashamed of. It's nobody else's business, and all that matters is that they are having a good time together.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 3rd December, 2023

Kate is in a taking, Tom and Natasha simply take, and several people get a shock.

Characters: Natasha, Emma, Tony, Tom, Kate, Brian
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

In what is no longer the tea-room as we know it, Emma is being given instruction in the Hard Sell by Natasha; she is resistant, and is glad when Tony interrupts them bringing more cream from Pat. He's glad to have caught Natasha before she goes to The Laurels: he'd be grateful if she took some insulation to Blossom Hill Cottage while she is out. Brian's outside tap needs it. When Natasha helps herself to a ham salad roll and rushes off, Emma makes a note of it (£4.75) against Tom and Natasha running total. Tony asks how she is, and she talks gloomily about the sale of land at Grange Farm: the auction is on Friday. William and Ed are trying to think of ways to put people off; Tony thinks it is only fair to tell her that Tom and Natasha are in the running, because they plan to build themselves a house there. Tom then rushes in and asks where Natasha is, and takes a plain flapjack; Tony tells him she said he would drop off some lagging for Brian, and tells him where to find it. He rushes out again, and Tony asks whether Emma noticed that Tom didn't pay for his flapjack; she did indeed, and she tells him that since they took over the tea-room he and Natasha have been helping themselves: a bun her, a coffee there... Tony is somewhat shocked, and Emma tells him that it's not a problem because she and Fallon are writing it all down on a tab (flapjack: £3.25), When he asks whether Tom and Natasha know about this, she cheerfully informs him that they will at the end of the month when Fallon gives them their bill.

At Blossom Hill Cottage Kate is criticising the lagging and suggesting sheep's wool instead of polystyrene; Brian gives her short shrift. He is also not interested in her diatribe against genetically modified crops when he tells her he and Stella are interested in buying the Grange Farm line for experimental use. The experiments will be right up her alley, all about soil health and reducing inputs and saving fuel; the word holistic has even been mentioned, though he forbade Stella ever to utter it in his hearing again. The guide price for the land is four hundred and eighty to five hundred thousand; Brian will need to get a loan from the bank and recoup the cost by converting the barn for holiday lets. BL however are also in the running, which may mean that if he gets the land Brian will be in hot water with them. They want to build a massive eco-mansion selling for four or five million maybe. On hearing this, Kate is definitely wishing Brian good luck. And Brian has a sneaking suspicion The Stables is also interested. Kate is losing interest, because what she came there for was to recruit Brian to Jakob's comedy show; Brian is decidedly not interested. As she is trying to sell him on the idea Tom arrives with the lagging for the tap, and the news that Peggy is planning to move into The Laurels; Kate is off at once to sort out the mistake she is sure has been made.

The news is then spread by Tom to Tony, who thinks they really shouldn't be surprised; Tom tells him that Kate certainly was. Tony feels that the remarkable thing has been Peggy managing to stay in her own place for so long, and Tom agrees that not many ninety-nine year olds manage that. Tony mentions that Tom is looking tired, and wonders about the house idea; when they are so busy is this really a good time to be taking on more stress? Tom takes his point and mentions that the tea-room has turned out to be a bigger job than they thought, but how often does land that close come up? It's too good an opportunity to miss. And Johnny is back soon, which will make things a lot easier. Tony mentions that they need to talk about that, all of them, and arranges to meet up in the tea-room at four.

Kate is in full indignation mode, angry because her grandmother ignored Kate's selfish concerns and was annoyed with Auntie Chris for breaking her news when she was planning to do it herself later in the week. [I'm sure she was very much looking forward to upsetting everyone. Chris.] Brian asks whether it is true, then, and Kate indignantly says she has made all the arrangements and plans to move in really soon. She's going to sell The Lodge to pay for it, and 'what about me?' asks Kate shrilly. She's going to be chucked out onto the street! Brian takes a breath and asks if that is all that matters to her, and when she quite fails to understand what he means tells her that it is a very big step for Peggy and it is completely out of the blue: did she ask why her gran is doing it? At full screech, Kate says no, they didn't really go into that, and Brian crossly suggests that was because she was thinking about herself. Kate claims she was in shock. Brian decides to go and have a word with Peggy, and, when Kate at once agrees that they need to get to the bottom of this, says no, Kate is to stay right where she is.

Emma is still very far from gruntled, and Natasha is trying without much success to jolly her along a bit. Tony and Tom come in and Tony insists on buying the bit of fruit-cake that Tom wants, and a pot of tea. When Tom says there is no need for him to get these, Tony replies that it is cleaner that way, and Pat and Helen will probably want something too. As Emma goes to get the order, Natasha asks what Tony has to tell them about Johnny, and Tony comes out with his news: Johnny is indeed coming home from Cape Town, but he has been offered a passage on another yacht and is doing it via Brazil. Tom thinks it's ridiculous and wants to know if Johnny is ever going to come home; Natasha is calmer. Tom points out that Pat won't be happy with Tony going on being the main milker, in the winter, and Natasha says that's why they're meeting, and they'll have to come up with an arrangement that works for everyone.

When she was asked about her reasons for a move, Peggy was quite happy to tell Brian what they are: since Jennifer died Peggy has spent more and more time at The Laurels and has got friends there. She likes the social life and the activities. Kate tries to argue that she could just carry on like that, and Kate wouldn't mind being her carer, but Brian is clear that Peggy would never expect her to provide full-time care. She was thinking of Kate as much as herself, and she's decided. Kate at once says that Peggy can undecide: she should stay in her own home, and Kate is going to do whatever it takes to make that happen.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 4th December, 2023

Clarrie breaks down, and Alice breaks a confidence.

Characters: Will, George, Clarrie, Lilian, Alice, Justin, Shula
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

It's cold in the barn and while they shiver over the turkeys, Will and George discuss Johnny's continuing absence from Bridge Farm; Clarrie is surprised about him letting Pat and Tony down, but George is quite pleased, on the whole: he can use all the work they offer him. He also suggests that, when Tony and Pat retire, Tom and Natasha will need a deputy manager, and fancies himself for the job. He boasts about the modules he has taken on 'managing risk' and 'motivating others', but Will calls him back to the matter in hand, plucking the turkeys. Eddie brings in two more dead turkeys for plucking and Clarrie shouts at him to shut the door, uncharacteristically angry; George asks why Christmas has to be in December. When Clarrie peevishly reminds him it is when Jesus was born he says it's a shame he wasn't born in July, to which Eddie replies that if he had been, they'd need a proper cold-store for the dead turkeys. Will eagerly starts to tell Eddie about ideas that he and George have had to put potential buyers off the Grange Farm land, and this exasperates Clarrie; first she sighs loudly, then she blows her top at them: she is utterly fed up with their stupid ideas. If Oliver can't get shot of the land, he'll sell the house from under them instead and then where will they be, she asks with hysteria in her voice, flinging the turkey she is plucking onto the floor and slamming out of the barn.

Her original scheme for the ten acres at Grange Farm discarded, Lilian apparently now favours an international arena instead of a horse spa. Alice is not entirely convinced, so Lilian changes the subject to Harry and thus effectively shuts Alice up. When Justin gets back from a ride on Aziz he asks about Peggy's plan to move to The Lodge; Lilian suspects she wants to do it now by choice rather than have it forced on her later by circumstance, which Justin applauds. Alice offers to take Aziz back to his stable and Justin says he will follow her in a minute; he stays to talk with Lilian about having heard more about Brian's plans while he was out. He feels Brian might show more loyalty to BL [why? They have never shown the faintest loyalty to him. Chris] and hopes that Lilian has abandoned her idea of buying the land for The Stables; there is already a local horse spa. Lilian is displeased by his lack of support for her, and doesn't tell him of her change of plan; when he suggests that the three of them, her, Brian and BL, will just drive the price up bidding against each other, she tartly suggests that in that case BL should pull out, an idea which he dismisses as 'ridiculous'.

When Eddie finds her Clarrie is crying, and he apologises, saying that George and William didn't mean to upset her. All her woe comes out: it's not only the land, it's that she is just so tired. She aches all over and her brain's a mush: she's got nothing left. She knows the turkeys are important to them, but it's always so cold and her fingers are raw and it's just so relentless. She's doing all the overtime at the dairy she can get, and she knows Eddie works hard, but they never seem to get on top of things. She's embarrassed at the way they live, always scraping, always hand to mouth, and they've been living like it forever. Why is everything so hard? They are only in that farmhouse by the skin of their teeth; they've been so lucky with Oliver, it's a miracle to find someone so kind and generous, and they pay him buttons to live there. Eddie grumbles that it doesn't seem like buttons when it's due every month, but she flares up again: he knows it's nowhere near the going rate in those parts. Oliver has been such a good friend to them, and now they've fallen out with him: she wouldn't blame him if he just turfed them out for being so miserable and ungrateful. Eddie is sure Oliver wouldn't do that, but Clarrie, now in full Doom mode, speculates gloomily that anything might happen. It's like living on a cliff-edge all the time and never knowing when the sea is going to wash it away. She is so sick of it; she's sick of her whole life!

With Ambridge inevitability Alice has spilled Lilian's plans to Justin, which clearly flabbergasts him, and also said she is surprised Shula agreed to them.

Eddie has read the riot act to Will and George, who are suitably abashed. This is not the time for a Grundy scheme; they just have to accept that a chunk of land is going to be sold, and deal with it as best they can. They must also give Clarrie more support: she is at the end of her tether. When Clarrie comes back they are full of consideration for her, and apologies for having upset her. She appreciates their apologies, and calls them back to the job in hand.

Justin rings Shula and encourages her to talk about her new position in the Pioneer project, helping drug addicts for about half her time; she tells him it's the hardest thing she's ever done but massively satisfying. He brings the conversation round to Lilian's scheme for an outdoor international arena and quickly establishes that not only has she not given her approval to the idea: she has heard nothing about it.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 5th December, 2023

Shula has come a long way, and Justin has gone too far.

Characters: Oliver, Eddie, Alice, Lilian, Shula
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

As an ingratiating gesture Eddie has laid out Oliver's breakfast ready for him and pours him some tea before expressing interest in how things are going at Grey Gables. He then manages to explain that he wants to apologise to Oliver for the way things have been lately and the way the family has behaved to him. Oliver agrees that it has been rather uncomfortable, but says that it was a difficult decision: at heart he is a farmer and no farmer likes to sell land. He then mentions all that the Grundys have been through, and that he knows how important Grange Farm is to them; Eddie agrees but says it doesn't excuse treating Oliver the way they have been, and they mean not to do it any more. Oliver is glad to hear it, but Eddie wants to know one more thing: is this it? Or will he have to sell off more land down the line, or even the farmhouse? Oliver sincerely hopes not, but none of us has a crystal ball; he does understand that none of them can help worrying. The two men agree that Clarrie is an angel, and Eddie voices his worry that they have always lived hand to mouth and neither of them is getting any younger: what if one of them got sick, and couldn't work? He's seventy-two and on cold winter mornings he really feels it. [And is rapidly turning into Joe, during this speech. Chris.] Oliver makes bracing remarks about having a good few years in him yet, but can't help adding he's never seen him like this before, and Eddie backpedals a little: what it is, is he wants to make up for the last few weeks by buying Oliver lunch at The Bull, today if he's free. This surprises Oliver: surely if he is worried about money...? Eddie says not to worry about that, things aren't so bad he can't buy a good friend a pie and a pint. Oliver compounds for a sandwich and a half of cider, and would be very pleased to accept.

At The Stables Alice is sweeping the yard and telling Lilian about Christmas wreath making with Pip and Rosie, and invites her to come along as well; Sunday may be one of their busiest days but as Lilian says, that's why you employ staff. Lilian speaks of Peggy's plan to move: she is talking to an estate agent about selling The Lodge, and Lilian reckons Kate has no chance of dissuading her from it. Lilian quite envies Johnny ploughing the seven seas and far away from family argy-bargy, though when Alice points out drawbacks like getting soaked to the skin and sleeping in a tiny bunk she admits she'd hate the life really. She'd miss riding very much; but when Alice playfully asks 'and Justin?' she seems nothing like so sure about that. Alice then sees Shula getting out of her car. She greets Alice cordially and explains she drove down from Sunderland, having had to change her plans when she discovered that Lilian had been deliberately misleading her.

True to his word, Eddie has bought Oliver a half of cider and ordered the food, which shouldn't take long; he asks Oliver what he has been up to that morning, and is told paperwork and then a wander around the grounds. He couldn't stop thinking about their conversation earlier, and while it would be nice to think their understanding at Grange Farm could continue forever, they have to face facts: he is even older than Eddie. Eddie is clear that Oliver owes them nothing and has been brilliant already, but Oliver has been thinking: if one day Eddie and Clarrie did have to move out, rents in the area are prohibitive because of weekend homes and holiday lets, and everyone knows the council have a housing shortage, but somewhere like Meadow Rise can't be the only option. (Eddie says somewhere like that would kill him within a twelvemonth.) Though the name seems archaic, almshouses still exist. Eddie perks up: a mate of Joe's had one in Penny Hassett, and it would do no harm to look into that. He thanks Oliver.

Shula is very angry. She could just about countenance investing in a horse spa, she tells Lilian tightly, but an international outdoor arena is madness: it's way too much expansion for a little place like this. Lilian protests that Alice didn't think so, but Alice signally fails to back her up. Shula sweeps on, pointing out everything that is involved: infrastructure, access, parking, services... Frankly, she doubts Lilian would get planning permission. Has she even sounded out the planning department? She is getting delusions of grandeur; and Shula still hasn't forgiven her for buying that horse-walker without asking. Lilian is exasperated at that even being mentioned: Shula did leave the day-to-day decisions to Lilian. Shula disputes that a twenty-five thousand pound outlay is a 'day-to-day' decision. Alice, when appealed to by Lilian, has to admit they are getting a lot of use out of it; meanwhile, Lilian claims she planned to discuss the arena plan when Shula came down next week. Shula clearly doesn't believe her, and in any case that would be a bit late when the sale would have taken place and it would have been a fait accompli. She remembers Lilian once telling her that it is easier to get forgiveness than permission, and she doesn't take kindly to having that trick played on her. When Lilian suggests they go inside and discuss it now, Shula simply tells her there is nothing to discuss: she clearly can't trust Lilian, so she is vetoing it, not just the arena plan but the purchase of the land for any purpose whatsoever. Lilian, aghast, splutters that she can't do that, but Shula thinks she will find that Shula can; not only that, Shula now wonders whether she should pull out of her arrangement with Lilian and Justin completely. They obviously have very different ideas for the business. Lilian starts to get angry in her turn, but Shula ignores her: she is going to give the matter some very careful consideration, and she'll let them know her decision after Christmas.

Outside The Bull Eddie and Oliver are about to part after a pleasant lunch-time when Shula greets them; she is back for a week or so, she explains to Eddie as he leaves, and she tells Oliver he is looking well. She isn't back for Christmas, and is staying at Lower Loxley with Elizabeth. She says nothing to him about The Stables, but mentions being concerned when she heard he was having to sell land; he explains that Grey Gables needed a cash injection. She has also heard that Graham Ryder is handling the sale. Brookfield having been through something similar recently means that everyone there is very sympathetic to Oliver's position. He wishes that were more widespread, and she agrees with him about the Jim Lloyds and Lynda Snells being resistant to any development whatsoever. He has been amazed by some of the wild rumours flying around: that it's going to become a travellers' site or a recycling plant, for instance, or a sand and gravel quarry with big lorries coming in all night and day – never mind the actual geology of the place! Shula laughs incredulously. She just hopes whoever does buy it deals with it sensitively, and wishes him the best of luck on Friday.

Lilian is sulking in the office when Alice knocks on the door. She is very short with her niece and accuses her of doing damage after being told not to tell anyone, until Alice manages to get across the fact that she didn't say anything to Shula about Lilian's plans; the only person she spoke to about them was Justin, and she wouldn't have dreamed of discussing them with anyone outside the business. This gives Lilian furiously to think, furiously; she apologises to Alice for jumping to the wrong conclusion, and after getting Alice to confirm that she definitely didn't say anything to Shula, she growls that That Man Has Gone Too Far This Time.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 6th December, 2023

Kate's charm offensive offends Emma, and Justin fails to charm Lilian at all.

Characters: Jakob, Kate, Lilian, Justin, Emma
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Kate has stayed overnight and Jakob is looking for his lost watch; rather than help him find it Kate goes on obliviously about ways to make The Lodge easier for Peggy to live in so that she won't sell it and move out: her latest idea is installing a wet-room downstairs. His mild suggestion that Peggy might know what she is doing and know what she wants better than Kate does is completely ignored. When he finds his watch in one of her boots, where she stowed it after using its luminous dial to see the time in the middle of the night, he is not entirely pleased; Kate continues to plot ways to force Peggy not to move out of The Lodge, and assert she won't mind nursing Peggy if it becomes necessary. Mildly, Jakob feels that Peggy might prefer a certain professional detachment in her care rather than relying on the goodwill of a family member. Naturally Kate completely ignores what he is saying, exclaiming that as well as a wet-room she has another bright idea: she will go over to the tea-room later and ask Emma to come and clean for them again. Jakob thinks she is still missing the point, but Kate tells him she knows she's right; Christine may be happy at the Laurels, as Jakob says, but Peggy is a very different woman. She is very independent, and Kate is going to make sure she stays that way.

At the Dower House Lilian has brought Justin his morning paper, pours him more coffee, and tells him that she now sees his point about not buying the land at Grange Farm for an international arena, or indeed for The Stables at all. He is delighted that she has 'seen sense', particularly when she tells him it is because of the clear way that he explained his doubts about the project. When asked, he assures her those were his own points of view, not anyone else's: he is quite capable of forming his own opinions on a rational basis without appealing to a third party. He declares that this is an excellent start to the day; he thinks he might have another word with Brian and see if he can persuade Home Farm to drop out too. And now that little blip is behind them, he and Lilian can finalise their plans for Christmas; he booked their table at Les Soeurs Heureuses back in September and he is really looking forward to it; Lilian says that it all sounds splendid.

Much saccharine sympathy about the sale of Grange Farm land is flowing from Kate to Emma in the tea-room. Lilian comes in to get a small quiche to take away and while Emma fetches one for her asks Kate how the comedy show is going. It seems that Brian absolutely refuses to be involved, though he has offered to make a donation to the church on condition that Kate never mentions the show to him again. Kate really wishes Gran would stop the silly boycott: having to drive her into Borchester every Sunday... Lilian reminds her that she only has to do so when it's her turn, then pauses to pay Emma, but goes on to say they should think themselves lucky Peggy finds that church acceptable and they don't have to drive her to Felpersham Cathedral. She leaves, and Kate goes on talking to Emma, claiming to have been concerned about the effect that Oliver selling might have on Ed and Emma financially, and to be in a position to help them. 'Oh yeah?' asks the sceptical Emma. With plenty of butter on it, Kate tells her that they would love it, Gran and her, if Emma could start cleaning at The Lodge again. They would, would they? asks Emma. They remember what a good job she did and how thorough she was, and Kate gushes that she is sure Emma has happy memories of all the lovely cups of tea she had with Gran and all the nice chat. Emma confirms that she has lots of memories of that time. Kate goes on to say that given the circumstances she's sure they could pay Emma a little more than they did before, so what does Emma say? Emma tells her what else she remembers: when she asked Peggy for a loan for the house at Beechwood, which she now regrets having done and doesn't blame Peggy for saying no to, but Kate! Kate seems genuinely surprised and asks what about her? Emma lets her have it: she was absolutely vile about it to Emma. Kate stammers that is not her recollection, but Emma is going to have her say. Really, really horrible. She looked at Emma like she was something Kate had stepped in. Kate tries to interrupt, saying that if she offended Emma... Emma ignores her and goes on to say that Kate can take her false pity and her fake concern and she can stick them with her job offer, where the sun don't shine.

Justin returns from work to the Dower House to find that Lilian has packed all his suitcases, which are in the hall. He is confused until she points out how he tried to mislead her that morning, and, when he says 'I'm sorry?', tells him that it is too late for apologies. She would like him to leave. She has packed his bags: he is to take them and go, please. He splutters that a joke's a joke, but... This is no joke, interrupts Lilian. She is deadly serious.

Needless to say Kate's account to Jakob of her conversation with Emma Grundy is partial: she has never met a more rude or ungrateful woman! Jakob rightly interprets this to mean that Emma turned down the opportunity to be a skivvy at The Lodge again, and Kate, after wondering why she bothered with Emma at all, says she will just have to advertise. He does his best to convince her that it isn't about whether they have a cleaner at The Lodge, or a wet-room, or specialist equipment, and eventually gets through enough for Kate to admit that Peggy never does anything she doesn't want to and Kate has to respect her wishes and accept that the domestic situation is going to change. Brokenly, Kate claims it is not because she is worried about where she will live; it's that since Mum died she's had the conversations she would have had with Mum with Gran instead, and thought Gran felt the same, but if Gran is in The Laurels she won't be able to turn to her whenever she wants to any more. She's going to miss her so much, sobs Kate, and she's not actually sure how she is going to cope. Jakob knows things will be a bit different, but feels Kate has to agree that Peggy's happiness is paramount, and Peggy knows she'll be happy at The Laurels. Kate will be able to visit her whenever she wants. Kate concedes that she needs to let Peggy go.

After some furious shouting from Lilian, during which Justin points out that she is chucking him out of a house that he owns, not her, and she asks whether he plans to call the police to evict her, he tells her that he will voluntarily absent himself for a short time , and come back when she is ready to apologise.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 7th December, 2023

The theme of moving house, or not moving house, continues.

Characters: Tom, Tony, Natasha, Eddie, Clarrie,
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Sorting out who is to do the milking when Johnny will still not be around is exercising Tom and Tony, who agree that George five days a week is probably the answer. Tony will do weekends, plus one afternoon, and Tom is apparently not expected to do any. Pat has agreed to Tony doing as much as that [and has Helen been consulted, after the tizzy she got into about it last time the subject came up? Chris] and Tony is going to talk to George about it before he goes over to The Lodge to be there when the estate agent comes round to value the place. Before more can be said about that Natasha comes in, requiring Tom to go and sort out an issue with the Bridge Fresh app; she is setting up an online conference call with Leah at the developer. He is reluctant, because he's very busy, but will do as he is told. Natasha goes away to get things started, and Tony draws Tom's attention to how tired he is and how much he does; now on top having eighteen-month-old twins, and the tea-room, which is proving a bigger job than Tom had expected, he's talking about a major building project. Does he appreciate how much work that will involve, not to mention the cost of it all? Tom is sure they'll manage.

Clearing the old barn of Grundys' old junk is underway [in spite of it having been completely cleared before the place was sold in 2000, and all the contents auctioned off. Chris] and Clarrie gets emotional about the pram she was bought by Granny Mabel [Mabel Larkin was Clarrie's father Jethro's mother. Chris] for William, in which she used to wheel the baby to the village shop. She grieves over all the memories the place is full of; Grange Farm has been her home for over forty years – apart, as Eddie points out, for the sixteen years when the Grundy family was not living there. She is worried about how much longer they can be there, and Eddie bracingly tells her a long time, if Oliver has anything to do with it, then suggests to her the possibility that even if they do have to leave it may not be as bad as all that: Oliver made the suggestion, and Eddie feels that he and Clarrie are just the sort of people who might qualify for an almshouse. Eddie has printed out some interesting stuff about them, which he has in the farmhouse.

Tony has come into the packing shed and found Tom asleep with his head on some red cabbages. He offers Tom a hand filling veg boxes, while talking about Lilian having been very off-hand when he asked about BL bidding for the land; she said she didn't know if they would and cared less. He also mentions that George is delighted to do the milking: Tom, yawning, is glad to hear it. Tony reiterates that Tom needs to start taking things a bit easier; he wonders if Seren and Nova could spend more time with the child-minder? Tom says Marietta's already up to capacity, but that's not the answer, is it. He is really worried about this house idea, and part of him is hoping that BL outbid them, or anyone does come to that. Tony suggests just not bidding, but Tom reckons it's Natasha's dream. April Cottage is so small, and the twins are growing fast. How can he puncture Natasha's bubble? [Muffled squeaking through duck tape. Gus.] Tony encourages him to be honest and tell her how he really feels.

Looking through the information Eddie has printed out, Clarrie thinks it all looks really good, official. Eddie is smug: it's not one of his usual half-baked get-rich-quick schemes, she means? Clarrie worries about the length of the probable waiting-lists, but Eddie points out that they do have vacancies; it's just there are none nearby at the moment. They don't need it yet though, do they. It's just that knowing they have an option makes Eddie a bit more cheerful about the future. As they are agreeing on this Will comes in, and Clarrie tells Eddie to hide the information; Will has brought them an eight-foot Christmas tree and wants a hand with it. They can decorate it as a family this evening once Clarrie is home from the dairy, and Ed and Emma are going to cook supper for them all. Clarrie is pleased and surprised about how thoughtful it all is, and Will explains they want to say sorry for upsetting her the other day. They reckon it is time to put their problems to one side and have some good old-fashioned Christmas fun.

The twins have finally gone to sleep, and after telling her Shula wants to drop in and see them at tea-time before the auction at six, Tom says he wants to talk with Natasha about that. She also wants to talk with him; she knows he is really excited about having their dream home designed and built, but looking at it realistically and with everything they've got on, she honestly doesn't feel now is the right time. He tells her he feels the same, and she's delighted though she knows it's a shame. Tom pulls her into an embrace and says this is what's important, not bricks and mortar; yes, agrees Natasha, the two of them and those two in there.

Will finds Clarrie getting a couple of glasses of squash for Keira and Poppy after their tea, and the two of them speak happily of what a delicious cottage pie Emma cooked for them all: almost as nice as Clarrie's, Will says. She tells him that as well as the pram, they found the old rocking-horse called Neddy which Ned Larkin made for him: it is all mould and one of the runners is missing, but it brought back such memories! As they reminisce, Eddie comes in saying that Keira is wondering where her squash has got to, and they need some scissors. Will takes the drinks for the kids, and as he leaves Clarrie thanks him for the lovely idea, to which he replies that she is not to worry, they'll stick together like they always do. When they are left alone Clarrie tells Eddie to close the door, than says questioningly that it is too early to tell the family about the almshouses, isn't it? Eddie says it's a bit early, and she goes on: she knows she got a bit emotional when they were clearing out the barn, but all they things and all they memories, well, they're in the past, and she was thinking at work, the future's much more important. Eddie affirms that it's going to be a long time into the future. What's on Eddie's mind right now is, who's going to end up with their land (Oliver's land, corrects Clarrie) and what they plan to do with it. If someone does up the barn for a house then fair play, he supposes, people have got to live somewhere, but he hopes they keep the land in farming. That's what Brian Aldridge wants to do. Clarrie asks if that's who he's rooting for, is it, Home Farm? Why not, asks Eddie: they're farmers, and they've got a good relationship with them, and Stella thinks highly of Edward: better keep their fingers crossed then.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 8th December, 2023

The auction disappoints everyone except Oliver, and Lilian speaks her mind.

Characters: Justin, Brian, Oliver, Eddie, Lilian, Graham Ryder
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The refuge Justin has sought out is Blossom Hill Cottage, where he is annoying Brian by hogging the bathroom interminably in the morning while singing out of tune. Brian claims that Justin has been very welcome there the last couple of days, but suggests that since this business with Lilian seems to be dragging on he would be more comfortable moving into a hotel, with sole use of an en suite. Justin did consider that, it seems, but really didn't want Lilian to think she had banished him from the village. After he has enumerated local places he can't stay while Brian tried to find a way to tell him that he has outstayed his welcome, he lets it fall that he expects Lilian to see sense and apologise really soon; when Brian suggests she may be waiting for him to do so he laughs at the idea: he has nothing to apologise for. She'll come round; he knows Lilian. Brian points out that he has known her for a lot longer than Justin has; he adds that he does hope things resolve themselves soon, one way or another. Justin changes the subject to an attempt to persuade him not to bid for the Grange Farm land; Brian tells him that nothing has changed since they spoke about it yesterday and goes into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him with an emphatic bang.

Eddie is loading up some hay ('Grange Farm finest') to deliver to Lavinia Rafferty, and he and Oliver chat about the forthcoming auction, which will be at six o'clock in The Bull Upstairs; Eddie will be there because he wants to know who gets the land. Oliver tells him that Graham Ryder says there's considerable interest, but you never really know until you get there. Oliver has heard that The Stables has pulled out, and Tom and Natasha have changed their minds, which leaves Home Farm and Borchester Land as the two strongest local contenders. Oh, and speaking of Bridge Farm, Oliver hears they are now trusting George to do the bulk of their milking: Eddie must congratulate him from Oliver, who would also like to hear about the course George has been on.

As Lilian delivers Justin's post to Blossom Hill Cottage, Brian opens the door and is surprised she didn't ring the doorbell; she explains she didn't want to risk Justin answering it. Brian reassures her that Justin is at Damara today, then tries to persuade her just to bury the hatchet: he knows they love each other, and hasn't she made her point now? She tells him firmly that it is not a case of making a point, although she wouldn't be surprised if that's how Justin sees it: he can be very petty at times. He has behaved completely unacceptably and she wants nothing to do with him. Brian tells her that from his understanding there were faults on both sides, and Lilian laughs bitterly and says that's because he's only heard Justin's version; anyway, she knows why Brian is playing Cupid: he just wants to get Justin out. He protests that his only motivation is for the two of them to be happy but, when Lilian expresses doubt, admits that Justin is quite a trying house-guest: how does a man of his age spend so much time in the bathroom? Lilian suggests it's because he's very vain about his hair. And she presumes Brian can hear him snoring? Brian retorts that there are people in Peru who can hear him snoring, but he is sure that sort of thing is just a lovable foible. Lilian grunts; perhaps it was once. Brian's point is, Lilian and Justin belong together; couldn't they just meet up on neutral territory and sort things out? Lilian asks sharply whether Justin is still expecting her to apologise, and as Brian tries to temporise tells him that she has nothing to apologise for.

Before the auction starts, Graham Ryder assures Oliver that it's 'looking to be' a very good turnout; Oliver mentions that Shula is there but he knows The Stables is out of the running. Justin then arrives and seems very chummy with Graham. Just as Justin is starting to be falsely fulsome as usual, he shuts up abruptly: he has seen someone he wasn't expecting.

Lilian and Eddie mutually agree that even if they are not bidding, they couldn't stay away. Lilian finds it strange that she feels as nervous as if she was a contender, and Eddie invites her to imagine how he feels. Brian comes and sits near them, and Eddie wishes him the best of luck. Graham Ryder then calls everyone to order and starts to explain about the rules of an auction, and Lilian sits down next to Eddie.

Graham tells everyone that there is one lot, ten acres of land at Grange Farm with a barn on it which benefits from outline planning permission to convert to a residential dwelling. As soon as the gavel goes down the successful bidder becomes responsible for the land, and will be required to pay ten per cent of the purchase price by bank transfer at the earliest opportunity. He then tries for an opening bid of four hundred and fifty thousand, doesn't get it, and falls back to four-thirty. Eddie whispers to Lilian that the bidder is Borchester Builders. The bidding swiftly gets back up in five thousand pound increments to four-fifty ('the holiday park woman' whispers Lilian), and then four-seventy from a Mr Fanshaw, whom Eddie doesn't know. Brian bids four-ninety, and Justin four-ninety-five, then Brian drops out at five hundred thousand. Justin bids five-ten, and when there are no further bids in the room Graham reveals they also have a telephone bidder who offers five hundred and twenty, and then five hundred and forty in reply to Justin's five-twenty-five; Justin says he is out, and the land is sold to the unknown telephone bidder.

Oliver tells Graham he is very pleased; it was more than he was expecting. [And twice what he needed. Chris.] Eddie then tries to find out who the buyer is, but Oliver doesn't know and Graham claims similar ignorance: the bidder was a solicitor on behalf of a third party. Eddie's guesses go nowhere, and Oliver says they will just have to be patient and they will find out in due course.

Brian says his farewells and leaves Lilian to Justin's tender mercies; Justin suggests that since both their plans have been scuppered, they can now put it behind them and go back to making plans for their lovely Christmas. Lilian however disagrees, and even though he says he loves her he spoils it by then asking her to admit she was at fault over the arena; she tells him that he really doesn't get it, and he has never let her down so badly before: she just can't forgive him for it. He has spoiled everything, and broken her trust, and if he is expecting an apology from her he will be waiting a very long time.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 10th December, 2023

Brian, Pip and Lynda all give relationship advice; Lynda's is helpful.

Characters: Justin, Brian, Alice, Pip, Lynda, Lilian
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Jeremy Howe
Editor: Jeremy Howe

In spite of vile weather, cold and windy, Justin and Brian are playing a round of golf; Justin is making a great point of how good he feels, while Brian says he can't feel his fingers or toes, and wants to go in for lunch. Justin says that he could finish the course on his own while Brian goes inside and waits for him, or indeed Brian could have stayed at home with the Sunday papers, and that Justin doesn't need a nursemaid and is living his best life. Brian admits that he is glad of the distraction from the quiet: he has realised he isn't good at weekends, especially as Christmas approaches. Jennifer would have been busy by now, with the cake made and the tree up; there would be lists everywhere and she'd be sending him off to fetch this or that or asking him to reach into cupboards for wrapping paper she bought in the January sales. Justin is sympathetic about it being bound to be difficult, the first one without her. Brian acknowledges this, and adds that as soon as Christmas and New Year are over it will be the anniversary. He keeps thinking about that phone call from Lilian: 'Brian, it's Jenny', and how he somehow knew instantly that she'd gone [which is more than he did at the time: he rushed across the country to be there with Jennifer, so he seems to have known that she hadn't 'gone'. Chris]. Justin agrees it is a terrible loss, and that it's understandable it will take time to come to terms with it. Brian feels that in some ways he has come to terms with it, insofar as he gets up and moves about, but Jennifer would be horrified if she knew he hadn't put the decorations up yet, and he should do it, he should do it for her, but he can't bring himself to open the box of decorations he has got down. He then apologises for off-loading but when encouraged to off-load if he needs to, says desperately that he just misses her: not just at Christmas, all the time. He does his best to keep busy, but at the end of the day he gets home and closes the door and she's not there.

At the wreath-making Alice and Pip are having a good natter; their children are having fun sticking greenery to cardboard while the grown-ups work more seriously on construction, so they talk about their children and how excited they are, or are not: Rosie is hyper, Martha rather less so because she doesn't really understand what's going on. Alice is better at making wreaths than Pip, and helps to make the other's wreath work well. After they agree what hard work Christmas is, Alice asks what about Stella and whether it is getting serious, and Pip guesses that it is. Alice likes Stella: though she knows that Adam isn't her biggest fan, she thinks she's great; and don't tell Adam she said this, but Stella was totally right about the cherry trees. Pip then asks how things are with Alice, and is told about Harry in confidence. No-one knows yet, Alice tells her: she wanted to make sure that she liked him first. Now she thinks that she does, and tells Pip all about how she met him; when asked what the problem is, then, she says that if she likes him and plans on going out with him then she's got to tell Chris.

Lynda has gone round to visit Lilian and make sure she is all right; there has been talk in the village shop. Lilian makes a bitter remark about keeping the gossips going, but Lynda responds that it wasn't gossip: Joy was very concerned, as is Lynda. Lilian says repeatedly that she's fine, while bursting onto tears. She allows Lynda to invite herself in.

Pip points out that Alice is allowed to have a boyfriend, and Alice does know that but it feels weird: she's sneaking around. Last week she asked Chris to have Martha so she could 'meet a friend'. She doesn't want to lie to him but also doesn't really want him to know yet. Pip advises that it's best just to get it over with; she made a real mess of telling Toby about Stella and cringes just thinking about it. Be honest with Chris: she's met someone, she's dating him. It doesn't have to be more than that. It might be a bit awkward, but better than he finds out from someone else. Alice knows she's right, and as she says so a message arrives: Harry wants to know if he should get them tickets to the country park illuminations. Pip says she and Stella took Rosie last week and it's amazing: tell him yes! Martha would love it – not that she is saying they should take her on their date, she adds hastily, with which sentiment Alice agrees on the grounds that it is way too early for that. It will be a while before she tells Martha about Harry. But she supposes it is time that she told Chris.

In the golf club restaurant Brian talks about the quality of the lunch at Justin, who clearly isn't paying attention. There is a new chef, and Brian thinks they ought to eat there more often: it will save them bickering over the washing-up. He then asks whether Justin is all right, and Justin, suddenly without bombast, is not sure. Brian apologises for bringing the mood down earlier, when Justin has enough on his plate, but what he meant to say was that it's been nice having Justin around, and also infuriating. Joke, he adds. But what's the matter? Justin tells him that it's what he said about Jennifer: it was really quite beautiful, and it made him realise that he misses Lilian. Brian rather peevishly says that Lilian isn't dead, and Justin admits that Brian's loss is infinitely worse than his, but what Brian said made him realise how lucky he is to have Lilian; Brian agrees very whole-heartedly. Justin suddenly wants to know what he's doing sleeping in Brian's spare room and spending Sundays on a freezing golf-course, and Brian rather drily suggests that he is living his best life. Justin retorts that his best life is with Lilian, and he should be at home with her, arguing about whose turn it is to mix the G&Ts; he's made a complete mess of everything. Lilian is the most important person in his life and he might have lost her over he doesn't even know what any more. How can he prove to her that he has seen the error of his ways?

Meanwhile Lilian is bemoaning the fact that she has always gone for the wrong sort of man, which Lynda pooh-poohs, before discussing the characters of Matt and Justin, whom she thinks a shark. Lilian just feels that the whole episode proves she can't trust him, and what she needs is a Robert, a grown-up relationship based on mutual respect and support. Lynda quickly puts her right: she wouldn't last five minutes with a Robert because she'd be bored. Lynda likes her romance with a side order of stability and comfort, whereas Lilian prefers hers with surprises and thrills. She and Justin thrive on excitement and romance and jousting. Lilian agrees that they used to, but that's the problem: Justin thinks this is just another of their silly spats, but it's different. She always thought that when it came to it, he'd have her back, but he hasn't. She starts to snivel again as she says she can't trust him, and if she can't trust him then what's the point? Lynda hands her a tissue and asks her what is the end-game, but Lilian doesn't know: that's what's so devastating. She's told Justin he's got to apologise, but really, even if he sees his way to taking responsibility, he still did it. He still betrayed her. She really doesn't know how they are going to come back from that. Lynda wishes she could say something to make it better, and gathers her into a comforting hug.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 11th December, 2023

'We're gay.' 'I'm an alcoholic.' How hard can it be?

Characters: Alice, Ian, Justin, Tony, Adam, Lilian
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Jeremy Howe
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Whilst their children are cavorting in the freezing playground, Ian and Alice have a chat first about Grey Gables (Ian thinks Adil seems to be on top of things) and about Harry (things are good). When Alice compliments Ian on Xander being a fast runner she is corrected: that is not running, that's flying, because he is playing an angel in the Christmas show at the nursery. He's really got into it and invented a whole backstory for his character: he reckons that he is a chaotic angel who's always late for everything and getting stuff wrong. Alice remembers that when Phoebe was at nursery she played an angel who was always late. Ian is surprised; Alice remembers that Phoebe was on stage throughout, and is sure Ian must remember; Ian claims that this now rings a vague bell [Phoebe was born in 1998 and Ian moved to Ambridge in 2004; why would he remember something that happened when he didn't live there? Chris]; anyhow, if it's the same show Xander has landed himself the main part.

Outside the tea-room Justin hails Tony, who very sensibly tries to get away from him with a platitude or two. Justin just wants a word, and refuses to accept that Tony is busy and wants nothing to do with whatever has happened between him and Lilian: he'd really rather not get involved. Justin won't leave it, admitting that it is all his fault and he has been thoughtless and careless and is desperate to put it right, and saying that Lilian won't listen or even open the door to him. Tony is sorry to hear they have fallen out, but is not sure what Justin thinks he can do about it; Justin explains that he wants him to put in a good word for him. Tony doesn't think his sister will fall for that. Justin protests that he isn't trying to trick her or get her to fall for anything: he is trying to get her to talk to him. If Tony tells her how sorry Justin is, and how devastated, she might just hear Justin out. Tony reiterates that he would sooner stay out of it.

Ian is now gloating to Adam about Xander being the main part in the show, which Adam quite rightly describes as a nursery production in which nobody will have much to say. Adam, perhaps not absolutely seriously, then suggests that you never know: maybe Xander will go into musical theatre, since he has a lovely voice. When Adam finally got him settled he was still chatting about the show, and asked whether Adam and Ian were coming; when Adam said yes, he said that all of the mummies and daddies were coming, but he hasn't got a mummy, he's got two daddies. Adam laughs, but Ian doesn't: he asks if Adam thinks that's a thing for him. Adam feels that Xander was just stating a fact: he doesn't have a mum and a dad, he has two dads. Ian sounds dubious about this, and Adam tries to reassure him that Xander was just excited about them coming.

Tony has run Lilian to earth at the Bull, and tells her that Justin asked him to have a word with her. She is surprised at his agreeing, and cries shame on him for doing that man's dirty work: she thought he had more about him. Tony denies doing Justin's dirty work; he thought he should let Lilian know he'd been sniffing around. Lilian asks what he wanted Tony to say, and Tony tells her the usual, how sorry he is, how much he misses her; Tony can't think why Justin thought Tony would be a good representative, since Tony has hardly been his biggest fan over the years. Lilian laughs and points out that wouldn't occur to Justin, because his ego assumes that everyone else is just sitting around waiting to do his bidding. Tony agrees that Justin is always out for himself; Lilian indignantly adds that he thinks he can charm the birds from the trees. Tony muses that he has never found Justin charming; Justin thinks he is, but it always comes across as more like smarm to Tony. The word takes Lilian aback: does Tony really think smarm? Yes, you can see him coming a mile off and only well-behaved when he wants something [sic. Chris]. Tony has never understood what Lilian saw in him. Lilian sighs and agrees: her neither.

The careless words Adam said earlier are now a bee in Ian's capacious bonnet: for all that Adam assures him Xander is fine and knows exactly who his parents are, and how he came into the world, because they have always been clear with him. Ian bites his head off about it, and claims he is not worried about Xander. It's what he said, because he was right; all of his pals will have a mum and a dad turn up. Adam reminds him that if the nursery drop-off is anything to go by there will be a big variety, and gives several examples, but Ian bets they are the only same-sex parents. Adam can't see that it matters, and says they have been through this; they agreed they want Xander to grow up knowing his dads love each other. Ian agrees that he wants that, of course he does, but doesn't Adam ever just feel exhausted by it all? The constant coming out? Explaining to the doctor or the lollipop man or the nice old lady in the park that Xander has two dads? Even in 2023 to most people a family means a man and a woman. He just wishes that being gay parents was totally unremarkable. [Ian, if you don't remark on it then it's very likely nobody else will either: they don't care, because you really aren't that interesting or unusual. Chris] Ian bangs on: they'll have to do it all again when Xander starts primary school, and then secondary school and if he goes to football or dancing or circus skills club... Adam starts to laugh at him, but he continues undeterred: they'll have to come out again and again and again, he rants. 'Unless we don't,' Adam suggests quietly. They don't have to keep coming out; they don't have to do anything but turn up and be there for Xander. Ian agrees that is what they will do.

Alice is laughing over the word smarmy, and says Justin can be charming as well, but Lilian muses that is only when he wants something and then they are dangerously close to smarmy, aren't they. Lilian the changes the subject to Harry, and Alice says it's very romantic, but the thing is, it's Chris: she decided that she should tell him, and went to see him meaning to do it but then somehow didn't after all. Lilian suggests she might be worried that there is nothing to tell, and when Alice doesn't know what she means says that maybe she is holding off telling Chris because if it doesn't last there might be no need. Alice doesn't know, but admits that they hardly know each other and she hasn't told Harry that she is an alcoholic. When Lilian points out that she doesn't have to do that until she is ready, she says that she feels that until she does, they are just treading water. She needs to know if it's going to scare him off. And if it's going to scare him off, Lilian breaks in, why bother upsetting Chris? Alice feels that it isn't about upsetting Chris exactly, but yes, she'd rather not if she doesn't have to. Lilian probes: so she's hoping she will have to? Alice admits it; she wouldn't blame Harry if he ran a mile, because it's a lot of baggage, isn't it. Lilian tells her everyone has baggage, but Alice is afraid he might decide it's too much. Lilian is plain about it: he might or he might not but Alice won't know until she tells him, so it sounds like she needs to bite the bullet and do it when she sees him on Friday. When Alice makes mock of herself and presents it in a really bad light, Lilian castigates her: alcoholism is a disease, Alice was extremely unwell: she sought help, she came through it, and she has been sober for more than two years. As well she knows, shame is a wasted emotion. Alice accepts that Lilian is right, and agrees she just needs to tell him. And then it's up to him.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 12th December, 2023

Despite Paul's best efforts to stir it Lily is fine; Bess is fine; Stella is fine...

Characters: Paul, Lily, Pip, Stella, Ben,
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Jeremy Howe
Editor: Jeremy Howe

For her surprise birthday treat, Paul has taken Lily to a rage-room, which falls rather flat at first. She had assumed his surprise would be more cocktail-based. He tells her he has booked a table at Secret Garden in Borchester, and Josh and Izzy and Dylan and a couple more from the course are meeting them later; not Freddie, because he's not drinking during the week. When Lily does 'pick up a hammer and start smashing things up' Paul doesn't think much of her efforts, and urges her to connect with her inner rage. When he shows her how it is done his furious screaming is directed at Jakob for not allowing him to play music that he likes, at work. Lily gets the idea, and shrilly aims her wrath at Josh for leaving his dirty socks on the settee, and constantly using her Hermione Granger mug and not washing it up.

When Pip asks her what she is up to this afternoon, Stella replies 'not much', though she should probably look at the machinery servicing paperwork, and thus gives Pip the opportunity to complain about the unfairness of arable farmers basically being clocked off for Christmas. Stella protests that she still has to manage the farm, and Pip starts to say 'speaking of Christmas' and say there is something she wanted to ask her, but is interrupted by Ben, who arrives needing a massive favour. It's a bit of an emergency: can Pip take Bess to the vet's for him? She has an appointment for her injections, but his tutor has called him into uni: he requested a meeting about an assignment, and she has fitted him in. Pip makes the excuse that she's got to pick Rosie up [without bothering to find out when Bess's appointment is. Chris], and Stella volunteers even though Pip immediately tells her she doesn't have to do that. Ben is very grateful.

Apparently Paul enjoys a good friend's birthday more than he enjoys his own, with all the fun and none of the pressure, and he likes always being a little stage left. Lily doesn't really understand, because she has always had to share her birthday with her brother, so a day that is all about her is a dream. She does love being twins, she adds, and she's sad not to see Freddie today, because she and him are connected; she tells him about the book The Invisible String which Elizabeth got for them after Nigel's death, about how everyone is connected to the people they love by an invisible string, so even if they're not there, or even if they're dead, you can still feel them. Paul thinks it sounds beautiful, then changes this to it sounding a bit harrowing for a kids' book. Lily agrees that it was totally harrowing, especially since Elizabeth could never get through it without bursting into tears. She always felt bad that she couldn't really feel the string to her dad. She could remember him, and she thought about him, but she didn't really feel connected to him. The book always made her think of Freddie: ever since they were born she and Freddie have been together, connected, like, he's somehow always there even when he's not. So it is a bit weird not being together on their birthday. But she is having a great birthday all of her own for once. Paul coos over that, and she thanks him for making such an effort. He asks whether the rage room wasn't a total disaster after all, and she says it was amazing and they should prescribe it on the NHS. he was right: it does give you a real buzz. She felt like she'd just had an ice-bath or something when they came out. Paul slyly asks whether what she said in there about Freddie was true, in the rage room, about her dad leaving the house to him. [He really is a nasty little stirrer. Chris.] She says yes. Paul asks for details, then becomes outraged on her behalf that Freddie will inherit Lower Loxley and all she will get is money: she doesn't know how much. [Then she needs to find out, and also when; she might have been meant to inherit when she was eighteen. Funny how I simply didn't believe her when she said that. Chris.] A decent amount, anyway, though obviously not equivalent. Paul says her dad might as well have left her nothing, and it's outrageous, but she rather fails to be wound up by him. When he asks if she isn't angry she responds that she doesn't really think about it. He tells her that's not what he saw: she seemed pretty angry earlier. [Clearly a good way to suss out people's weak points, taking them to a rage-room. Chris.] Lily points out that she could go round raging the whole time at the injustice of it all, not to mention the blatant discrimination, but where would it get her? Paul doesn't think that is the point: the point is that it's not fair! He reckons she has every right to be mad about it.

When Stella brings Bess back from the vet and a walk, she reports all is well and she realised how much she misses Weaver. Ben asks whether she plans to get another dog, and she tells him that she will at some point, and Alistair is keeping an eye out for her, but just at the moment, with Hannah staying in her house and her being out a lot at the moment, she's told him to hang fire. It's probably best to wait. Also she's a bit scared that a new dog might not be as lovely as Weaver, or as Bess. She asks how Ben's meeting went and he says it was good, and his tutor is keeping an eye on him because he's about to re-take the assignment he failed this time last year just before his breakdown. He feels loads better about it after speaking to her. Pip interrupts to say it's all right for some, standing around all day chatting, and having thus successfully got rid of Ben asks Stella whether she fancies having tea with her and Rosie; it's just chicken and noodles, but Stella is happy to accept. As she is about to fetch Rosie and go back to Rickyard Cottage, Stella reminds her that she said she had something to ask her about Christmas; Pip becomes completely incoherent and has to be called to order, but finally manages to ask Stella if she would like to come to Brookfield for Christmas dinner. Stella accepts; she would like that very much.

Later over drinks, though still alone with Lily, Paul apologises for going on about Freddie inheriting Lower Loxley, and on her birthday; Lily tipsily assures him it's fine and he is totally right. He rows back from his previous position and says there is a time and a place, and he didn't meant to bring her down. She indignantly exclaims that he didn't and hasn't, and she is having a great time. This has been her best birthday in years: easy, drama-free, lovely friends, lovely margaritas, lovely rage-room. Family can get a bit intense. Paul agrees: when his mum turned up to stay it only took about five minutes before he started to wonder how long she was going to stay. And then he felt bad about that, because he should be able to cope with a visit from his own mother. Lily feels that it's not as easy as that. Paul knows Denise will expect him home at Christmas, but he wonders if he can get away with saying he's got to work and just staying at The Stables; the trouble is, she knows Alistair and she'd probably ring him to complain he is over-working Paul. Lily has a brain-wave: unless they both stay. Make it a Thing, their first Christmas as house-mates: she bets Josh would be up for it too, anything to get out of the world's most boring game of charades. Paul thinks it sounds great, but his mum will never go for it. Nor mine, agrees Lily, but what if they said they'd see them on Boxing Day instead? She thinks they'd be fine with that. And then they could have their own, dream, chilled-out Christmas at home. eat what they want, watch what they want on TV, stay in their pyjamas all day if they want to... All right, she has convinced Paul. He's in. Lily squeals delightedly: this is so exciting, their own Christmas!

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 13th December, 2023

The place is a seething mass of Good Cheer and Helpfulness. Or not.

Characters: Joy, Stella, Freddie, Leonard, Lily, Paul
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Jeremy Howe
Editor: Jeremy Howe

'Deck the Hall' is in full swing at Lower Loxley and Joy and Stella are both there shopping, Stella because she has dropped off there on her way to Darrington [Lower Loxley is east of Ambridge, Darrington north-east and on a different road. Chris] and Joy because it has become a Christmas tradition of hers in the four years she has lived in Ambridge. She's bought some hand-made soap and got some new 'decs' for her tree, but hasn't yet seen the new strudel stall. She hails Freddie, and, after he has greeted both women, asks him if he can point it out to her; he can, and does. He is on late shift and doesn't start work until twelve, and is supposed to be meeting Lily but she's late; no doubt hung over after her birthday night out. Joy at once wishes him happy birthday for yesterday and asks if he didn't go out with his sister; Freddie remarks that abattoirs and hangovers are not a good mix. He then sees Lily and goes to meet her, leaving Joy to say she will go for her strudels before she has to take the cat Ena to the vet; at this point Stella notices that her watch has stopped; it's an old clockwork one inherited from her dad and she is wearing it because today would have been his birthday. When Leonard comes up at this moment it's inevitable that he should offer to see if he can mend it for her.

The plan Lily has made with Paul upsets Freddie; in shock, he says that Lily is proposing to leave him on his own for the whole of Christmas, and he minds very much. She mocks him, when he continues to be unhappy about it, and doesn't get why it's such a big deal and he can't be on his own with Elizabeth; he tells her that if it is just him and Mum it will feel sad.

As she said she had to do, Joy has taken Ena to the vet,where Paul is trimming the cat's claws while she spits and meows savagely at him and Joy holds her still. Joy asks after Denise, and he tells her his mum has gone back home now; when Joy says it must have been lovely having her to stay he says he can think of other words, then claims to have been joking really. That's the thing about parents: he loves them both deeply but he wouldn't want to live with them, and he isn't going to them for Christmas this year. Joy knowingly asks if he is doing the cooking for them, and he temporises. On enquiry, Joy says Rochelle will be busy at work over the holiday; Mick wanted Joy to go with her to his mum's, but she likes to be home for Christmas. Paul establishes that she will be at home alone apart from Ena over Christmas; she has got in some chocolates and the TV guide, as well as a new highlighter, and instead of turkey will be having a chicken which she will make last all week. He tells her that sounds lovely.

Miracle-man Leonard has managed to repair Stella's jammed watch already, and brought it over to Home Farm for her; she's delighted. A bit of compressed air got it moving again, and he gave it a bit of an oiling [g-d help us all, sai Tiny Tim! What did he use, 3-in-1? Chris] and polished up the case. She thanks him very much, and he tells her he enjoyed it: he's a simple soul, and give him a good drama on the radio, and a watch to tinker with, and he's happy as Larry. When she tells him she would have been glad to come over and fetch it, he tells her that he and Jill are going to see a showing of Seven Brides for Seven Brothers tonight, so he was going to be back in Ambridge anyway. He then proceeds to warn her about the perils of playing charades at Brookfield when she is there for the afternoon at Christmas, and suggests she might be able to volunteer for some well-timed washing up to get out of them. He also warns her not to end up on David's team, because he takes it very seriously and it can feel a bit more like an endurance test than a parlour game. When she says it sounds terrifying, he says there's something else that sounds terrifying: he has been put in charge of the cheese this year and has no idea what to get. She sensibly suggests going to the Bridge Farm shop and stocking up with cheese from the family, which is something he hadn't thought of, and offers to give him a hand with it if he needs anything else.

The shop bell rings to herald Paul, who has just caught Joy before she closes for the night. He is not there to buy anything, however; he has been thinking about their conversation and very awkwardly invites he to come to The Stables for Christmas Day. When she doesn't reply instantly he witters about not having meant to upset her, and having sounded weird, until she breaks in and says it sounds absolutely lovely and yes please, if he's sure. She'd love to come to theirs for Christmas.

Back at The Stables, Paul finds Lily making curry from scratch, and asks her what's up. She reveals that she has something she needs to tell him, and he says 'me too' and asks to go first and get it over with. The reason he looks so guilty is that he 'might have' invited his mum and dad to Christmas dinner. Lily starts to laugh, then says, 'Well, that's fine, that's actually quite good, because...' 'And Joy,' adds Paul, in a voice of deep foreboding. That is a surprise to Lily, who has to clarify that he means Joy who lives next to Helen; she says blankly that she doesn't get it. Paul explains that Joy brought Ena in to have her claws trimmed, and he was moaning on about his folks and Joy was telling him off [not on my radio she wasn't. Chris], just bants, but when he said he was staying at home this year she assumed he was cooking for his mum and dad and he thought how Denise would love that. So basically Joy guilt-tripped him into inviting his parents for Christmas, muses Lily; it wasn't on purpose, protests Paul, because she thought he'd already invited them. Which made it worse. Lily is somewhat scathing about him then thinking that he might as well invite someone he hardly knows, and Paul can't really defend that, saying only that it was her seeming so content with the idea of being alone that day, and he couldn't bear the thought of her sitting there on her own. It haunted him all afternoon, so after work he went and asked her. Lily maintains her silence for a little longer, but when Paul says Josh is going to kill him says that he will have to kill her too, because she has invited her mum and Freddie. Paul bursts out laughing, and they realise that while Elizabeth does polenta parsnips to die for, John is bringing over his air-frier to honey-roast them. Lily says resignedly that you can never have too many parsnips, can you.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 14th December, 2023

No homophobia, no llama emergency, no rehearsing, and no dice for Justin.

Characters: Adam, Ian, Jakob, Lynda, Justin, Lilian
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Jeremy Howe
Editor: Jeremy Howe

On the afternoon of Xander's nativity play Adam is a little late arriving to watch, and Ian is already a bit worked up. He doesn't recommend the (powdered) coffee, but enthuses about the biscuits until Adam reveals that Xander told him about them being made and Noah not having washed his hands. Ian then commences to worry about how Xander will react, while Adam remains calmly certain he will be fine. Ian can't forget one of his classmates in Reception, Eamonn, who fled the stage and the building and was rugby-tackled in the playground by his mother. Then he sees four people looking at them and instantly assumes it is because they are a same-sex couple [and not, as you or I might, that they recognise him or Adam from somewhere. Chris]; Adam thinks he is being paranoid, but he exclaims that it is Xander's big day and he's not having bigots spoil it.

When Lynda invades Jakob's place of work he initially fears there may be a llama emergency, until she explains that she is there on Gagriculture business. What she wants to do is tell him how to run rehearsals for the Christmas show, but he is having none of it; he tells her they are not having rehearsals. He proposes to allow people to sort out their own acts, then they all get together and perform. She is horrified and starts to forbid this, but Mr Turley comes in with his animal Reggie, and Jakob abandons her in the waiting-room and takes him on through.

As Adam expected, Ian's 'new best mates' with whom he has been talking and laughing are not raging homophobes; Ian explains that they recognised Ian and Adam from the pizza van, having been at the Hollerton food festival in the summer. He adds that their names are John and Clare and Amy and Marcus. Amy suggested they might try kids' parties, which Ian had never thought of. Adam enjoys a bit of a laugh at Ian's expense, and Ian admits that Adam was right: they were really nice and they don't care about them being same-sex parents. Fancy that, Adam muses. Then someone starts playing the piano and Ian, who has been the one making a noise, tells him to hush and has to be restrained from waving to Xander, who has now come on stage.

Casablanca lilies, which he knows she loves, is Justin's idea of a peace-offering to Lilian, along with champagne, and some ear-rings from a jeweller's in St Ives at which she bought a necklace once. She loved that holiday, he goes on; she remarks that it seems a very long time ago now. He wants to get back there, he tells her: not St Ives, but to them as they were then and how happy they were. She tells him that it's not that easy, and he says he knows, but he's done all this to show her how desperately sorry he is for his part in their fall-out. He has also taken the liberty of booking a table for dinner at Dmitri's, the new Greek place in Felpersham which is getting very good reviews. Lilian had heard it was impossible to get a table, but Justin has called in help from someone on the Damara board who is one of their financiers. He wants them to have a special evening; if they get a taxi at seven they could get a drink first. No, says Lilian. She's sorry, but no. This is all very generous, romantic... predictable, but it's not what she wants.

When Jakob's surgery ends for the day he finds Lynda still waiting to see him at considerable inconvenience, as she informs him crossly. He wants to know why, and she tells him that unless they resolve this rehearsal issue this show is heading for complete disaster. She tells him that he is the director and it is his job to ensure a cohesive, coherent production. Yes, the performers are responsible for their own acts, but that doesn't mean he can't have some input. He gently explains that he doesn't want any input, which exasperates and alarms her: what if they're not very good? Still gently, Jakob replies that in that case they're not very good: isn't that part of the fun? They're not professionals, so he imagines quite a few of them will be 'not very good'; who cares? Remember, the event is for charity. She takes him up: 'we need to consider the overall quality of the show', she asserts [forgetting for a moment whose show it is. Chris]. You just can't ask people to pay for tickets to something that might be at best boring and at worst downright painful! Jakob facetiously hopes it won't cause anyone actual pain. She cannot understand his attitude and tells him again that he is the director ('I am' says Jakob) and so it's on his head. It is, he agrees; now, he needs to visit some sheep, so if she'll excuse him... She wants to know the running order, and since he has not yet decided it he is quite happy to allow her to claim first spot. At least that will guarantee the show begins with a bang, she grumbles, and what happens after that – 'isn't your problem', Jakob finishes for her.

After the performance Ian is crowing about how good Xander was and wondering whether they should take him somewhere; what, like 'Britain's Got Talent? mocks Adam gently. Ian is so proud of him; when he saw him up there singing about love and happiness and Christmas he thought that this is as happy as it is possible to be. Adam agrees that Xander is amazing. Ian then wishes him a happy anniversary and says he picked up some venison steaks earlier, to do with mushroom sauce and some chips once they've put Xander to bed, but maybe they could take him for a celebratory burger instead? Adam agrees that they can save the steaks, and offers him a hug and a kiss as Xander comes over to them.

Lilian is spelling it out to Justin: he can't fix this situation by throwing money at it. When he says he's not trying to, she contradicts him: yes he is. But she doesn't want a big overblown gesture. All of this, flowers, and champagne, a table at the best restaurant in town, is a distraction: she needs to know that she can trust him, no matter what. He protests that she can, of course she can, he just thought she'd like some ear-rings as well. He hurt her, she tells him softly, and he does his best to convince her that he is sorry but then admits that yes, he did say she owed him an apology – but in the grand scheme of things what does it matter? He's more than happy to apologise if it means they put the whole thing behind them and move on. Oh, she says nastily, so he is being the bigger one here? He stammers that he just means there was wrong on both sides; she disagrees, he tells her to come on: she can't blame him entirely for what happened. It turns out that she can, and does; when he claims that if she hadn't lied to Shula in the first -place ... he wouldn't have spotted an opportunity to go behind her back and sabotage her, she cuts in. He concurs, which really doesn't help his cause: he just does not get it, she rages. He claims that he does, but she can't expect him not to defend himself; she expects him to listen, she tells him in exasperation, and to accept that he's caused real damage here. Yes, she made a mistake, not being straight with Shula, but never in a million years did she think it would be her own partner who exposed her. He splutters that she would have done the same to him, but she utterly denies it. Is his saying 'I'm sorry' really worth anything? Brokenly he says that it is, because he means it: he can see now how much he's hurt her and he was wrong. Dispiritedly, she says he is just saying what he thinks she wants to hear; he agrees that he is, but what else can he do? He loves her. Tell him what he can do to make it up to her, and he'll do it. She gives vent to a sigh and tells him she doesn't know. He asks her what now, and she replies that she is going to go away. He is aghast and asks where, and she tells him she will book into a hotel near James and Leonie. She'll leave tomorrow. She's been meaning to visit them for ages so it makes sense. Justin can move back into the Dower House; Brian must be sick of the sight of him. She will join James and Leonie at the cottage they've booked, and she won't be back for Christmas. Justin begs her not to go, not like this, because they need to talk and sort things out together; no, she tells him, actually she needs some space to think and to work out whether there's a future for them. She'll let him know when she's coming back.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 15th December, 2023

Harry doesn't mind. David does. And Joy is everywhere, but not in a good way.

Characters: David, Freddie, Alice, Harry, Joy
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Jeremy Howe
Editor: Jeremy Howe

On his wedding anniversary, David has dropped into The Bull for a pint with Freddie, who is working for Vince and enjoying it: hard work but a good bunch. Freddie offers to make sure he deals with David when David comes over to pick up the Brookfield beef next week. David is somewhat surprised to hear that Vince gives the abattoir staff a few days off at Christmas, with pay. Speaking of Christmas, David asks, would Elizabeth and Freddie like to come over to Brookfield for Christmas dinner? Freddie cheerfully tells him they are going to Lily at The Stables, which ruffles his feathers somewhat because Josh hasn't mentioned it; Freddie suggests that perhaps Josh doesn't know. When David says that perhaps Josh doesn't want them turning up demanding turkey and charades, Freddie points out that there are only two of him and Elizabeth, whereas Brookfield would have to hire a mini-bus. He then adds that Paul's parents would have been on their own as well, and David is seriously put out to learn they too have been invited to The Stables, and so has the dog Mousse; though as Freddie says, they can hardly leave the dog alone on Christmas Day.

The country park illuminations are beautiful, and Harry and Alice can't decide where to go first; he asks if she is OK, because he senses she is a bit on edge. She says it has been a stressful week, and, suddenly decisive, leads him off to go and check out the lake.

David has ordered a takeaway curry, and Freddie is impressed that he's ordered a jalfrezi and a dopiaza, so David explains he is taking them home to eat with Ruth; it's their wedding anniversary. Freddie is incredulous: and he's in the pub? David is defensive: one drink, yes, and then he is going to pick up their anniversary curry. Freddie laughingly suggests that they say romance is dead, and David asks what could be more romantic than a takeaway curry and a film by the fire. Freddie admits he is no expert but thinks maybe something demanding a bit more effort? David laughs indulgently and says neither of them could be bothered with going out, though they thought of it; in their defence, they are both completely exhausted. When Freddie says he has just done a twelve-hour shift at the abattoir, David reminds him that he is twenty-four and David and Ruth are considerably older; truth to tell, they may not make it to the end of the film. As he is about to become depressed at the thought of how old he is, Joy breezes up to them wanting a word with Freddie; she tracked down her strudel the other day, and, after recommending the Lower Loxley strudel to David, tells Freddie that she did wonder if she should freeze some to bring to The Stables on Christmas Day. David's nose is now so thoroughly out of joint that it is surprising he can see over it, but Joy fails to notice and burbles happily on, ignoring his cold responses to her excitement. When Freddie mentions being on cocktail duty David cannot contain his annoyance: Freddie tells him not to be jealous and he retorts bitterly that it is news to him that his son is hosting the social event of the year and he's not invited.

Harry has bought two hot chocolates and Alice thanks him for the evening; he still feels something is wrong and asks if it is him. Alice reassures him that the company is great and the place is perfect, then nerves herself up to say there is something, and it's something she needs to tell him. Very nervously, she apologises for doing this here, but she can't pretend any more and he might not like her when he knows everything. He needs to know who she is. He beseeches her just to tell him, whatever it is, and she does: 'I'm a recovering alcoholic.'

Freddie downs the last of his drink and gets ready to leave: he is so tired he can hardly stand up and plans to go to bed and just to stare at a screen until he falls asleep. Joy just wants to say goodbye to David, but will then do much the same as Freddie. Is David all right? She'd never have said anything if she'd known him not being invited to The Stables was a sensitive subject. Freddie tells her not to worry about David, who is just throwing his toys out of the pram. David then returns and Freddie leaves; Joy asks David how Ben is, since his episode at about this time last year, which she recalls well; David doesn't know what they would have done if not for her. She disclaims and says it was what anyone would have done, and look at Ben now: a year on, back at uni and doing well by all accounts. David realises they were lucky to be able to get the treatment he needed and that they had so much support. He then says that he's sorry if he was a bit grumpy about Christmas dinner, and is really pleased she is going to Josh's; if she weren't, she would be very welcome at Brookfield. He adds that if she is not busy on Boxing Day he'd like to invite her over to Brookfield; he knows Ben would like to see her. She accepts, saying it would be lovely.

Alice is rattling through everything she has rehearsed, about not drinking and planning never to again, how long she has been sober, and the various horrible things that happened and that she did when she was not sober [though none of the really shameful ones involving bricks or attacking her adopted sibling and driving him from his home. Chris] and how she nearly lost Martha and did lose her marriage because of it; Harry listens attentively but mostly in silence. When she winds down there is along pause before he asks if he can hug her, and does so. He thinks she is amazing, that she's come through that: it's really something that she's come through that. His best mate Jamie was an alcoholic who died. He couldn't do what Alice did. He and Harry grew up together, messing about on tractors on his father's farm, and he could make Harry laugh like no-one else in the world. Alice is very sorry. She offers that if he thinks it's better if they don't see each other she would perfectly understand, which bewilders him: why would he not want to see her? He thinks she's amazing. Even more amazing than he did before. She argues that it's more complicated than that, but he doesn't think it is: he's really glad she told him, but she's wrong. That isn't who she is; this is who she is, this person who was very ill and who got better. She stammers that she is both. He goes on: him knowing what happened doesn't make any difference to how he feels about her. He kisses her.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 17th December, 2023

Stella is persuaded against her better judgement, and Christopher is taken aback.

Characters: David, Stella, Pip, Alice, Christopher, Susan
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

A rehearsal for David's 'comedy' spot is not going well, with Pip rubbishing every 'joke' he tells and even ever-tactful Stella finding it hard to be polite about his 'act'. Essentially, Pip thinks he ought to give up, or at least find some material she hasn't been hearing since she was eight, while Stella wonders whether perhaps it might be improved if he dressed up. He is inveighing against this when an idea strikes him for something different they could do. Pip instantly picks up on his use of the word 'we': what does he mean, 'we'?

Christmas presents, of which Rosie seems to have a huge quantity, are being put onto the floor and sorted by Alice and Christopher into heaps, with Alice making a list; they want to get it done before Susan brings Martha back. They gossip about such things as Peggy selling up and Kate being put out about it, and Chris having bumped into Justin taking Ruby for a walk and looking miserable; Chris reckons he doesn't like being alone, and mutters that he understands that. Alice lets that one go, and says that Martha will have tons of stuff and maybe ought not to get it all at once, which Chris thinks a good idea. Alice suggests that if Chris has not yet got her a present he doesn't have to, because she will have enough without. Then she tells him there is something she wants to talk to him about.

For some reason David thinks that The Sound of Music is comedy, and wants the Brookfield Archers to reprise their success from the Eurovision evening; Stella says she loved it then, while Pip is unsure because it's Been Seen. [Nobody asks what is funny about it. Chris.] Pip peevishly points out that David volunteered to tell a few jokes for Brookfield, and now it has become something they all have to do instead. David is aware they need to tweak it. Pip points out that Josh is up to his ears with work and will almost certainly refuse; Stella thinks they could get someone else, and enthuses about it being a sweet idea, thereby walking straight into it. The other two start to tell her how perfect she would be, while she denies being suitable at all and says it is not her kind of thing: she can't dance. Pip drags up her having said she had dance lessons when she was a kid, and furthermore said she was good.

Managing to sound reasonably sincere, Christopher is assuring Alice that it is great, while she says she just thought she ought to tell him; he is glad she did. She is aware that if he found out some other way, say someone saw them together and said something to him, she doesn't think that would be fair on him. He says it's fine, and thanks her. Concerned, she asks if he is all right; he assures her that of course he is, he just never thought... he knows he should have, but... He manages to hold himself together well while Alice speaks of how they did say that it might happen one day, agreeing that the did indeed do that. He adds that he is really pleased for her, and asks for the man's name – unless she'd rather not say. She is happy to tell him that it is 'Harry'. [But they are keeping 'Chilcott' in reserve so that at some later point it can turn out that Chris has been shoeing for him since before his accident and knows a lot more about him than Alice does. Chris.] She explains that he is funny and thoughtful and very considerate; 'good', says Chris decidedly. He sounds to Chris like a good bloke. [On what basis? Gus.] Alice thanks him for being like she knew he would be; he asks if he can say that it's a bit weird, and is rescued by the sound of the door; Susan is back, and they scramble to hide Martha's presents in the kitchen. As Chris goes to do that, Alice tells him she's sorry and he reassures her: 'No worries at all.'

Saying that she really does have to get back is not going to get Stella off the hook: Pip and David want her decision. She says she has given it, and they continue to nag her to join in. She reminds them that the show is on Thursday, the one in this week; she can't possibly be ready by then. Matters are not improved by her asking what if she can't make the rehearsals and being told there aren't any; she at once says she doesn't want it to be naff. Pip asks whether if they did have a full run-through in the church, if Pip saw Jakob and got a few people together and they all said they wanted a proper dress rehearsal? And if they were on first so they didn't have to spend all night waiting to go on, adds Stella, not knowing that Lynda has already booked that spot, then she'd consider it. David is enthused and says 'fantastic' and welcomes her to the team; they still have the lederhosen somewhere and he'll fish her out a pair. To her horrified reaction, David's response is that lederhosen were what they were wearing when she saw the performance she approved of. She says her legs are not up to lederhosen, and David claims that her legs would grace any lederhosen they could possibly come up with. She has splendid legs, and he's not just saying that, he has noticed: a really cracking pair of pins. Both women go silent and he realises he may have dropped a bit of a clanger even before they start to tease him unmercifully for it until he splutters about not wanting to cause offence. Pip and Stella burst out laughing and Stella agrees to join the troupe, but she has demands: they must definitely be on first, and in her dressing-room there must be an endless supply of triple chocolate cookies.

In the kitchen Christopher is helping to prepare supper with Susan; she is getting over a cold but is delighted to look after Martha while he is out: they won't be late, he tells her. The conversation goes to Martha not looking for Christmas presents in the small bedroom [how many bedrooms are there in Christopher's flat above the shop? I thought there were two, one of which is small. Chris] and how when he and Emma did, and found them, Susan and Neil realised they had and got them something else. Susan mentions that Alice was in a bit of a hurry and seemed flustered, and hopes they haven't had a falling-out; is Christopher all right? He tells her he's fine, and then about Alice dating someone, though it seems like a betrayal to tell Susan; she tells him it's a natural way to feel, especially when he's just found out, but he will get used to it, because he has to. It could have happened at any time, and he might meet someone new, that's quite possible. He can't bear to think of them together; she tells him not to think about it, and that anyway it might not last. Could be over tomorrow for all he knows. He admits she is right, and she tells him that he has to get on with his own life, his and Martha's.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 18th December, 2023

There is little to amuse and much to deplore, including a legless Emma.

Characters: Usha, Alan, Sykesy, Jakob, Lynda, Emma, George
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

As they wait for the comedy evening rehearsal to start Usha says that Jakob has told her Denise has finished her placement and is starting another. Alan had wondered if she'd have enough time between placements to swell the ranks a bit at Gagriculture, but as Usha says, they hardly need her: Alan agrees there is quite a turnout for a Monday evening, and asserts it is mostly down to Usha. Sykesy then arrives with a loud cry of 'mind yer backs!' and a walker, which he claims is fine-tuned. He fails to recognise Usha, who introduces herself as 'Alan's wife', and asks if they know what's going on here. Alan explains that Brookfield are doing their Sound of Music act, which Sykesy says 'Bernard' will love, Lynda Snell's 'Rural anecdotes', Jim Lloyd reading the funny bits from Under the Greenwood Tree, and Tony Archer's comic monologue, 'Over the Five-Bar Gate', in rhyming couplets. When Usha asks what Sykesy will be doing he says 'rambling on, mostly': memories of an old farmhand. He then tells Bernard to come on and find somewhere to sit where they won't be noticed. After he has gone Usha remarks that he seems a bit frail, and Alan suggests it might help if Jakob puts him on early. When Jakob comes over and says he wants to make a start now, Alan at once asks if he can arrange for Sykesy to go on early, and gets the short answer, 'no'. Most of the village wants to be on first, so he plans to draw names out of a hat. Usha tries to say this is a special case, but he remains firm: no special cases. He is equally firm when Lynda comes up to complain about having heard rumours about the running order. She tries to tell him that you can't draw lots for something like this, but he tells her it is decided and pays no further attention to her attempts to make him do as she tells him. He then calls for quiet and explains his plan: this is to clarify the situation, and put a stop to all arguments, and he wants people to make a note of their number and not forget it. The first name he draws is Lynda Snell, who crows with triumph.

It seems that until they know who has bought the land none of the Grundys can plan anything, at least according to Emma and George. [You had better just plan on the basis that you don't have that land available any more, and get on with your lives. Chris.] She wonders why he isn't at the Christmas show rehearsal, but he reckons that he doesn't need to rehearse his beat-boxing; when Emma asks what that has to do with agriculture he responds that it will blow them all away. She then gets a message on her phone and he asks what it is, refuses to let her look at it in peace, and when she says it is someone from her English Literature course demands to know what it says. She tells him it is none of his business, and then that they are all going for a Christmas drink and does she want to come. She says she can't, so he snatches the phone and sends a message: 'See you there Emma xx'.

Jakob has realised that he needs to make some changes, because it's over-running; Jakob says he can do something about that. Sykesy informs him that what's wrong is that it is boring: he thought it was supposed to be funny? When asked by Alan and Usha what solutions he has that can possibly pull this together by Thursday, he says that for one thing, he's asked Kate to go home. She was complicating matters. Usha goes to see if she's all right. When Lynda comes over to tell him and Alan what's what and what to do about it, he tells her that he is doing as she suggests, making cuts, by limiting every act to three minutes. At the end of three minutes he will ring a bell and they must stop. Lynda is of course outraged and expects special treatment, since her anecdotes take eleven minutes; he tells her that they can now only take three minutes, and that will improve things: after all, short and not very good is better than long and not very good. Lynda repeats 'not very good?' in outraged tones; Alan, peacemaking, says that he doesn't think Jakob meant not very good, did he? and Jakob gives him an uncompromising 'yes'. Alan thinks some acts are perhaps under-rehearsed, and Sykesy says some are absolute sh... and is drowned out by Alan exclaiming 'no, Sykesy!' Lynda offers to take one or two of the acts aside and point out where they're going wrong, an offer which Jakob unhesitatingly rejects as not necessary. He will sound the bell when people go over time, and also sound a hooter if what they are doing is inappropriate. Sykesy asks what he means by that, and he replies, 'Too dull, or too rude.' He suggests a short break during which everyone can work on their cuts while he goes and fetches his hooter.

At half past nine Emma rings George to find out if everything is all right, and George tells her that Ed has phoned: there's a hold-up on the motorway and he won't be back until after midnight. George offers to stay over so she can go on somewhere with a few of the others.

Lynda is cut off in mid-anecdote, and is furious about it; Jakob remains implacable. Though she says it is barbaric, the best thing she can do now is trim more off her anecdotes. He calls for the next act, Sykesy, who is hooted to order immediately he mentions having has 'this landlady'; he protests that he's hardly said two words, but Jakob could see where it was heading and it's not acceptable. [Presumably Jakob heard it first time through. Chris.]

It's two in the morning and the noisy and drunken Emma is demanding crisps and not-explaining what she has been doing; apparently there was a hilarious game during which she put a shoe on her head. George wants her not to wake Ed and tries to calm her down; he says that she is so going to regret this in the morning.

After he and Usha get to bed, Alan is finding it hard to sleep for thinking about the run-through; it was a disaster. Usha is sure it will be entirely different by Thursday, but Alan thinks it is still far too long. [At three minutes per act, how many do they have? That's twenty an hour! Chris.] And dull, he adds bitterly. Really, really dull. Usha suggests that maybe a compère would help, and Alan agrees it couldn't make it any worse; he assumes she means he will have to do it, but no: Usha means Jakob, because he has got such an authoritative manner. They can't afford to let this fail: there's too much riding on it; it seems she admires Jakob. As Alan disbelievingly says, she clearly reckons that if they want the show to be a success, their best bet is Jakob.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 19th December, 2023

George reverts to type, Chris is a decent sort, and Harry has something in mind

Characters: Emma, Susan, George, Chris, Alice, Harry
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The sound of her phone wakes Emma on the morning after the night before; it is Susan, who wants to see her and doesn't want to take no for an answer. They arrange to meet later in the morning, and then George comes in to offer Emma a muffin, which she declines. [If this is in the caravan, why didn't Emma shouting and blatting about last night wake Ed? And where is she meant to be? She was sleeping on a sofa last we heard. Chris.] He makes fun of her hungover state, and she tells him to go away. He carries right on making mock of her, and when she thanks goodness he was the only one who saw her, tells her that he wasn't; doesn't she remember what she told him last night about Jim Lloyd?

When he hands over Martha to her mother, Chris apologises for the rush: he has to get over to Heybury. Before he goes, Alice wants to know whether he is around tonight; he can be, does she want him to come over and look after Martha? He establishes that she is going out with Harry, but she says she doesn't know where to: Harry is going to find somewhere. Chris agrees to look after Martha for the evening.

Susan had started to worry because Emma was late, but Emma tells her that she had to see Jim Lloyd first. It's hard to explain and she really can't say what it was about, but of course she does in the end; yes, she thinks she is in trouble, a bit, and she had to see Jim and say sorry for something. A little more inquisition and she is telling Susan about having shouted a rude limerick through Jim's letterbox and then, when he answered the door, mooned him and run away. Susan can't believe it and nor can Emma. When she went round to apologise Jim said nothing: he just stood there dumbstruck: he looked hurt and confused, and she ran away again. Susan tells her that he was confused; he had no idea what she was talking about. Susan knows this because he phoned her ten minutes ago to ask if Emma was all right. Emma is rather annoyed that Susan knew and still made Emma tell her what she'd done; Susan says she didn't know the details, and Emma assumes that Jim has now told her the whole thing, about her going round there last night, but Susan says no, he didn't, because he didn't see her last night. That's why he was confused: he didn't know what Emma was talking about. At first Emma doesn't understand and goes on asserting that she shouted through his letterbox, but when Susan asks her how she knows, realises that George told her. Susan suggests young George has set her up good and proper, which at first she feels is a great relief until she becomes angry with George for his cruel prank.

Harry and Alice are interrupted by Chris texting because he can't find the book Martha simply has to have read to her at the moment, Six Dinner Sid; Alice sends back a message saying where it is. They are at a restaurant Alice went to with Chris ages ago; they never went back because Chris felt that the waiters were looking down their noses at him, and Harry suggests that they do, a bit. Alice admits that when Chris asked where they were going she didn't tell him: she was just about to say 'The Old Picture-House' when she remembered they had never come back there, and pretended not to have decided. She didn't want to hurt Chris by having chosen a place they deliberately avoided. Harry wonders whether it would have been any better if they had gone to one of her and Chris's old haunts instead, and Alice shudders audibly; Harry says that it's complicated. Alice says defensively that Chris seemed fine about them, quite upbeat; Harry suggests that she doesn't want to make things more awkward than they were already by saying where they were going, and Alice agrees that's it. Harry says it's the same with Bryony: why cause pain to someone you once loved? Alice agrees, and adds that Chris is all right; Harry says that he sounds it. Thoroughly all right, and sensible; Alice once more agrees, saying that he is. She then declares that there is to be no more exes talk. Harry says that here is where they lapse into complete silence because they can't think of anything else to talk about, and they both chuckle.

Emma is feeding George for the second evening in a row, and telling him about her apology to Jim. He's been so kind to her; George is having a bit of a laugh, but she says Jim had a hurt look on his face, and said he was disappointed in her. This surprises George. Emma continues: that was why it was so painful for her, to think she'd disrespected Jim Lloyd, of all people. She's so ashamed to think she did that to anyone; it's just not like her. George is bewildered: Jim told her, didn't he? That it didn't happen? Of course he didn't, declares Emma: just to make her feel better? That wouldn't be the truth, would it? George is outraged: she means Jim stood there and let her grovel? Yes, sighs Emma: it's what she deserved, and she had to pay him back somehow, so she has agreed to clean out his shed and then paint it, as the least she could do; she arranged to go over on Saturday. George refers to Jim as an old dog and says that she mustn't do it, to which Emma replies that she won't be: she has to work on Saturday, so George will be doing it for her. He indignantly says that he isn't doing it, and starts to get annoyed; finally he has to admit he made the whole thing up, and then realises that Emma has spoofed him back. They laugh together.

It's after ten-thirty in the evening when Chris's phone rings; it's somebody wanting a horse shod. His usual farrier is unavailable this week, away on a course, and Chris was highly recommended by a friend. He didn't email because he wanted to know if Chris might be free this week and thought a call might be quicker. He could call in the morning but he'd like to know if Chris might have a window for him. Chris could fit him in tomorrow morning at ten o'clock if he isn't too far away; no, he's just the other side of Darrington. His name is Chilcott. Chris politely addresses him as Mr Chilcott, and he says he'll message Chris the details of where to find him. Chris says he will see him tomorrow. [What is wrong with this picture? Yep; Chris did not ask what needed to be done. Because completely shoeing a horse plus doing remedial work takes the same amount of time as replacing one shoe that has been found and kept ready for replacement... Yeahright. Chris]

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 20th December, 2023

Harry puts his foot in it with Chris, and Stella with Jill.

Characters: Pip, Stella, Chris, Harry, Jill, Susan
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

A two-woman attempt to rehearse for The Sound of Music makes Stella sure she can't do the routine, while Pip is certain they can; Pip's instructions are unhelpful and Stella starts to favour standing in a line and miming, or perhaps singing words that at least have something to do with farming. They wonder whether to decide unilaterally to tell a few corny jokes such as David intended, or keep trying to learn the moves, and in the end toss a coin for it: heads for corny jokes and tails for The Sound of Music.

Chris is shoeing a horse, and he and his new client are talking as he does so; Chris is friendly and says that he enjoys the independence of the job and is glad to be able to turn down work from people he doesn't like. When it is suggested that Chris gets on well with most people, Chris agrees he's on first name terms usually, though not in this case. Here they are, getting on well, and it's still 'Mr Chilcott' – which is just an observation, Chris adds hastily, not a ploy to find out his full name. However, at the words 'it's Harry' he stops working and puts down the horse's hoof as Harry says he hasn't been entirely straight with him. The deceit annoys Chris: so Harry has known all along who Chris was. Does he not think that's out of line? Harry doesn't, and says he's sorry he didn't tell him before... He's sorry? repeats Chris. Harry wants to explain why, but Chris evinces no interest. Very evenly, he tells Harry what he's going to do: he'll finish off, do his job, and then he's going to clear out. Anxiously, Harry asks him to wait, but Chris has something left to say: and he won't be coming back, he concludes. Harry, he adds forbiddingly. Harry stammers, but Chris implacably continues: like he said, he doesn't have to take work if he doesn't like the set-up, or the people.

'Gran's famous cake', a lemon drizzle, is being put in front of Stella, and she and Jill are getting on well until Stella commits the appalling faux pas of agreeing with Jill when Jill says the cake isn't one of her best because it came out a little dry. She does her best to retrieve her error, but Jill has been badly affronted and is not inclined to let her smooth it over. There is more discord when, at Pip's prompting, she gives Jill the Christmas card she has brought for her; it has a sticker on it which says 'Farming Green This Christmas', for which Stella apologises, and when Jill initially can''t see what's wrong with that she says she wouldn't want Jill to think she was preaching at her. Jill takes this as a criticism, and suggests that Stella probably thinks Jill hasn't been farming green for years; but she'd be wrong.

Harry is trying hard to placate Chris, telling him he has heard nothing but good of him, but since he admits that his information has come from Alice this doesn't go down well. Chris, bundling his tools into his bag, thinks he has heard enough for now, thanks very much. Harry realises he's not doing this very well, and tries another tack: yes, he and Alice talked about Chris; they've talked about lots of things, so the subject of ex-partners was bound to come up. He told her about his ex, Alice told him about Chris and how good he'd been with everything she's been going through; in a hostile voice, Chris questions his knowing what she's been going through, and Harry tells him he knows quite a bit, about her mother's death and how she coped, and the drink. Chris is surprised that she's told him about that, and Harry assures him this isn't a fling [after four whole dates and what amounts to a four-week acquaintanceship, he seems awfully sure of himself. Chris]; he and Alice have been completely honest with each other. Chris asks if she has told him about the rehab, and he says yes. Also how Chris stood by her; that's why he wanted to meet Chris. Chris doesn't get it; Harry tells him it's because he doesn't want them to start out as enemies. He doesn't want there to be any awkwardness, any bad feeling between them. And tricking him into meeting like this is going to do that, is it? asks Chris. Harry asks if he would have come if Harry suggested they meet up, and Chris initially doesn't know, then says no, he wouldn't. Harry doesn't want Chris to think he is trying to take his place: Chris and Martha are such an important part of Alice's life and that's how it should be, for all time. He just wanted to say that he hopes they can get on, though really he probably thinks he cocked up the meeting bit. Chris breathes in and out loudly through his nose and says yeah, well, it was a funny way of going about it; Harry assures him there were no bad intentions, which Chris accepts. Harry also wanted to say that he knows a lot of people in the horse world and could point a good few of them in Chris's direction, if it helps; Chris doesn't know about that. Meanwhile though, let's not part as enemies, begs Harry; Chris remains silent.

Misunderstanding between Jill and Stella, whether wilful determination to put the worst interpretation on what Stella says on Jill's part or simply because of foot-in-mouth disease from Stella, is now in full flight, and Pip trying to pour oil on the troubled waters makes matters worse if anything. In the end Pip says they should agree to differ and offers more cake.

Chris is talking with Susan, who thinks the whole meeting with Harry was more than a little peculiar. Chris half-heartedly defends Harry, but clearly agrees that his behaviour wasn't particularly good. Susan is particularly put out by the stuff about getting Chris work, thinking it weird. Maybe he was trying to get Chris under an obligation. Chris isn't sure, though he didn't feel like taking him up on it; Susan advises him to steer well clear of that, and when she is told his name is Chilcott repeats it as if it were despicable or perhaps unbelievable. Chris reluctantly says that once he explained himself it was kind-of all right; Susan doesn't think so after springing that on him, but Chris means that he got on with him and he was kind of straightforward, easy to talk to. Except... no, it was nothing. Susan prods him: except? He doesn't know but Harry makes all the right moves and is a very coping sort of person, at ease with himself and other people. Smooth, assumes Susan, and flashy, but that's not what Chris meant: just confident, and Chris is not like that, is he. Susan tells him that he should be. He's easily as good; he's made a real success of himself and anyone who cares to look can see that.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 21st December, 2023

Sykesy is Jasper Carrott; mercifully, everyone else doesn't actually appear on stage.

Characters: Alan, Usha, Jakob, Sykesy, Pip, Stella
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Gagriculture is on us, with a full house in the church, and Alan and Usha are waiting, in Alan's case with trepidation. He tells her that whatever happens, he knows how much effort she has put in. Just as she assures him that Jakob will steer them through, Jakob himself appears in a cloud of self-doubt and stage-fright; he claims that he can't do it and that Alan will have to take over, but Usha convinces him that he can and sends him to get on with it, telling him just to relax and be himself. After he has gone to do as he is told Alan expresses doubt about her telling him that: Jakob being himself doesn't exactly promise fun and laughter.

Jakob's opening remarks are greeted with applause, and when he says that's a good idea: clap now, because it might be their best chance, the audience decide he is being deliberately funny and laugh as well. His dead-pan and down-beat comments about the acts are thereafter taken as funny too, particularly when he points out that he is not an act and it is not his function to make them laugh.

Outside the church Pip is pacing to settle her nerves, and making Sykesy nervous. Ben will be helping Sykesy get to the front of the church, and Pip remarks she is glad they are friends again; he responds that it's as well, because they've got strife enough at Brookfield without him and Ben pitching in. Pip is unhappy to hear that what Sykesy calls 'Cakegate' has become common knowledge [presumably revealed by Ben. Chris], and still more put out to be told that Jill pitched the lemon drizzle cake into the bin after Stella's criticism. Just as she is bemoaning the fact that it sounds as if Christmas won't be plain sailing after all, Usha comes out and tells her that their Sound of Music is on next, and she has to leave Sykesy and rush in. He asks Usha if it is going OK, and she replies that it is going surprisingly well so far, and they're loving Jakob.

Jakob's inadvertently comedic criticism of the acts continues after the 'Brookfield Von Trapps' with statements about how poor they were on Monday and how much they have improved. Jim Lloyd's reading is next up, and Jakob assures the audience that although Hardy is more often than not a desperately miserable man, Under the Greenwood Tree contains some humourous passages, according to Jim. Let's hear it for Jim's funny bits.

Their part in the proceedings having been reasonably successful, Pip and Stella are giggling outside with sheer relief, and Pip tries to suggest that she'd like it if they had Christmas together at Rickyard instead of going to Brookfield. Stella gives an absolute no to the idea; she instantly decides that this is about Jill. She has been invited to Brookfield for Christmas, and that is where she intends to be. And now she thinks she'll go back inside because she really doesn't want to miss Sykesy. [It's her way or the highway, no discussion acceptable, it seems. Chris.] Pip sighs resignedly.

Jasper Carrott Sykesy does a routine, to rapturous applause and laughter from the audience. When his three minutes is up, his time is extended by popular demand.

Outside again, Stella tells Pip that Sykesy had them in the palm of his hand, but Pip wants to discuss what Stella had declined even to consider, Christmas: Stella declares that she has already said what she has to say about that. Pip however is not daunted: she hasn't. Stella was right and she was thinking about Gran when she suggested they might stay at home. Because she's scared there might be another row, Stella says mockingly. Pip indignantly declares that it's not just that, but Stella is not interested in her point of view: she could see what Pip was doing and it's what they all do, tippy-toe round Jill. Pip points out that Jill is an old lady, and set in her ways, and has earnt [sic. Chris] the right... 'The right to be wrong?' interrupts Stella, but Pip rejects this: the right to her own opinions. That doesn't mean Stella has to agree with her, what she's saying is... Again Stella interrupts: good, because she doesn't always. Pip ploughs on: it's best if they tread with care and consideration when they are dealing with Gran. Stella can't believe Pip is telling her this just because she said the blinking cake was dry [and the rest! Chris]. Pip asks if she knows Jill binned the rest of it, which Stella didn't; Stella mutters that was probably the best place for it, then when Pip exclaims indignantly that she doesn't mean that, angrily snaps that of course she doesn't, but she does resent being morally shamed by a slice of cake. Voice rising, Pip informs her that it's not just the cake; Stella rejoins that it's an 'I'm as green as you and always was' argument, which isn't really an argument because we all know stuff now that we didn't know then [not really strange, since you hadn't been born at the time and therefore knew nothing at all, Stella. Chris] and what's wrong with that? Why is it so controversial? Pip can see that it isn't, but adds that they don't have to get in a fight with an old lady about it, do they? Stella is sure that in this case, yes, she thinks they do. Jill's a remarkable woman, she's strong and she knows her own mind, so isn't it just a little bit patronising for everyone to treat her like some fragile ornament? She deserves better than that. So, as she said, Stella does intend to have her Christmas at Brookfield and she does not intend to tread carefully around Jill. [Why? What is the point of setting out to be nasty to a woman twice her age? Does she expect to 'win' in some way? Silly woman. Chris.] [Attacking your squeeze's gran? Novel seduction technique. Gus.]

Jakob is glad that the evening is over, and accepts Usha's congratulations wearily. Alan asks if he has left anything behind, then locks up the church. Jakob has left the clip-board with the running order, on the low table in the vestry: he never wants to see that thing again. Usha protests that the show was a huge success, but Jakob doesn't care: he is utterly, utterly drained, and wants nothing now except to go home and have beans on toast and then a ten-hour sleep. He wishes them goodnight. Just, don't ask him again. Never again. He retreats; Alan laughs and tells Usha she was right and it was a revelation. She says that Syksey was too, and Alan agrees; Usha apparently always thought before that he was a bit on the curmudgeonly side, but Alan feels that people surprise you: they keep on renewing your faith in human nature. Usha sighs happily and says it will have a positive effect on church attendance: it's bound to. The tide has turned, she prophesies, and people will start coming back. Just you watch, she tells him.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 22nd December, 2023

Freddie shows his mettle, and Chris plays the idiot.

Characters: David, Freddie, Chris, Jakob, Emma
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Outside Vince's abattoir David greets Freddie, who is going to deal with his order as promised; since Freddie is dressed as an elf, because of the lads having a bit of a laugh at the expense of the most recent employee as he has been told is a tradition at Casey's meats, David is somewhat jocular about Santa's little helper at an abattoir. He also hopes the lads are not taking advantage of Freddie, but Freddie is taking the various jokes in good part. They establish that David will be at Brookfield for Christmas, with Stella and Pip coming over and also Josh, who felt that it would be too crowded for him at The Stables. David also tells Freddie about the comedy evening, which Freddie missed because it has been really busy at work, and when he hears that David apologises for holding him up with chit-chat. Freddie finds the paperwork: two butchered Herefords, which David confirms as five hundred kilogrammes, in twenty boxes, all vac-packed and labelled with the Brookfield logo. They should be in 'the big chiller down there on the right', but when Freddie was down there a short time ago he didn't see them there.

Chris is finishing some new bridle-hooks, which Jakob admires: he says that they are well-made and Chris is a skilled blacksmith. Jakob then advises Chris that the best way to avoid sprouts at Christmas is to be perfectly straight about the matter and make it clear to people that you will have nothing to do with them. Chris wonders whether that means people in general, and Jakob replies anyone who tries to spring one on you; Chris doesn't mind a sprout himself and in fact quite likes them cold, which Jakob says in a hushed voice is an appalling thought. He also finds mention of Gagriculture appalling: it happened, it's over, he doesn't want to think about it any more. Chris changes the subject to Christmas; Jakob still has one or two major gifts to buy, and Chris still has to get something for Martha. Jakob reminds him that he said if ever Jakob saw a pony, to let him know, and Jakob has: a Shetland, which was for sale at a place he was called out to at Leyton Cross. Chris muses that Martha would love a pony, and Jakob offers to find out more for him. They arrange to meet at six o'clock in The Bull.

David is in the process of losing his temper, and taking it out on Freddie, rather than making any effort actually to do anything about twenty boxes of meat being mysteriously absent. Freddie is not allowing himself to become stressed; he says it must be in one of the other chillers; David catastrophises about the paperwork having gone wrong, or it having been accidentally shipped to some wholesaler, which Freddie says is unlikely, or mixed up with a consignment for a different farm, which Freddie is sure shouldn't happen because the boxes are labelled. David immediately assumes the labelling has cocked up somewhere, and when Freddie tells him they have double-checking on all that informs him peevishly that this is not reassuring him: Freddie keeps telling him that they have all these systems in place to prevent mistakes and yet it appears that a mistake has occurred, the meat is not where it's supposed to be and nor is it anywhere else. Freddie, still keeping his temper but clearly feeling harassed, says that they will find it, he promises, and he is on top of it. David mocks at him: on top of it? he stands there in his pointy hat and ears and tells him he's on top of it? He does realise how important this is? Yes, Freddie has a pretty good idea. Incensed, David wants to share the reality with him: David has a number of customers – households, hotels and restaurants – waiting for their Christmas order of Brookfield Hereford beef, to the tune of five thousand pounds. (Freddie groans.) And their own Christmas lunch is somewhere in that consignment. Now, tell him: should he be talking to Vince? Freddie feels there is no need for that, but David is now well-launched on a futile blame-game course: this may well be Vince's fault. When the place was Crowther's this would never have happened and indeed, didn't happen, ever; now Vince Casey's taken over, it's unravelling in front of their eyes. This is too much for Freddie, who tells him that's not true, and Vince does everything by the book. David scoffs: the book of cut corners! And no consideration for the small farmer; everything driven by profit. Freddie determinedly tells him they can sort this out: give him half an hour to have a word with a few key people.

While he is being persuaded to have some cake to go with the rest of his order, Chris asks Emma, who is waiting on him, whether she thinks getting Martha a pony would be a good idea. Emma thinks she's a bit young, though Chris reminds her Martha will be three next birthday and lots of kids start riding at around that age. Emma feels that it is a big commitment, long term; Chris knows that, but Emma lists stabling and feed and all the gear anyway. Chris is sure Martha was always going to ride some day, and this could be the start. Emma is unconvinced: if he really is asking her, she'd say wait, not rush in just because he can't think what else to get her for Christmas. He claims that's not what he is doing [could have fooled me. Chris] but she still feels that it does look rushed. He doesn't agree: he feels that this could be the right moment. She would still wait, she tells him; and anyway, isn't this a conversation she should be having with Alice? He reluctantly mutters that he supposes at some point he'd have to; only he thinks he knows what Alice would say. Maybe there's his answer, laughs Emma.

The van is being loaded with David's meat, which Freddie was indeed able to find given half an hour and nobody hectoring him. David thanks him and says he is so relieved, he can't tell him; Freddie tells him there is no need. David is sorry if he got a little shirty back there [!!! Chris] and Freddie tells him that's all right; David explains he had a lot riding on this [In particular? Seems pretty routine to me. Chris] and he could see it all going down the plughole, so he was a little, well, anxious. For a moment there he thought Freddie didn't really know what he was doing and that he was scrabbling about on very thin ice; Freddie discloses that once he'd worked out who was responsible it all made sense. David thinks that in the end he handled the whole thing brilliantly, and wants to know how he worked it out; Freddie knew the team who were supposed to be packing the order and went to have a word with them, and when they saw him coming some of them started sniggering, so it was a fair guess they knew something. They'd moved all the boxes to a different chiller. For a laugh? asks David; they thought it was a laugh, explains Freddie, but he didn't quite see it that way. They'd written 'messages' all over the boxes, supposedly funny, and also rude names in felt-tip with holly round them. Freddie made them re-pack the meat before he called David in. He doesn't think there was any malice in it: it's part and parcel of the camaraderie of the work-place, according to him. He has smiled, talked to them and drawn a line under it, unless David wants to...? No, no, David has got his order and that's what matters; and he heard what Freddie said to them and found it really impressive. They thought Freddie was going to bring Vince in; so did David. Freddie laughs and says it was just a matter of spelling it out, and David says he was impressed, especially since Freddie gave them 'the lecture' while he was dressed as an elf. He feels he owes Freddie a drink, as long as he promises he'll keep his ears on.

Jakob is showing Chris pictures of the pony, and when Emma brings the two pints for them she says he is very cute, then goes to serve David and Freddie. Chris thanks Jakob for going to all that trouble, which he really appreciates, but says he has been thinking about it and is not sure it's the right thing for now. Jakob seems surprised, and Chris apologises but he really doesn't want the animal after all. Jakob assures him that he doesn't need to apologise and it is his decision, and Chris says he did give it a lot of thought; for what it's worth, Jakob thinks he's right. There are so many things to take into consideration, he muses, and Chris lists them as Emma did to him: stabling, insurance, all the riding gear, feed – Jakob points out that Shetlands eat a lot, which sometimes causes health problems. Chris then mentions hoofer shoes, and Jakob liver disease, which reminds Chris of 'vet fees and all'. Jakob wholeheartedly agrees with him, but then adds that all you have on the other side of the scales is the look on your little girl's face when she sees a pony on Christmas day. [Which is two days away. I do with they would get a little bit real; this is worse than Holly-the-Dog. Chris.] No contest; you have to be reasonable about these things. Slowly, Chris agrees that you do, but when Jakob reassuringly says there is no harm done his agreement is even less whole-hearted, and he remarks that it is a loving thing to to do, for a dad, and a good horsey thing to do for Martha: first pony. That's as horsey as anyone else could be. [And that is the clue that what he means is that he will steal a march on Harry. Chris.] He is confusing Jakob: what is he saying now? After a deep breath Chris replies that he's changed his mind. He wants that pony for Martha, for Christmas day. [And I hope she breaks her tiny neck. Gus.] [Whereas I hope she is terrified of the creature, screams inconsolably and refuses to go anywhere near it. Chris.]

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 24th December, 2023

Ed wants a change in life, while Denise is happy to go back to where she was.

Characters: Jazzer, Ed, Alistair, Denise, Jakob, Paul
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Theoretically on his way to buy vegetable suet for Clarrie before the shop shuts, Ed encounters Jazzer, who is escaping a house full of adolescent girls getting dressed up for a night out and having their hair done by Chelsea. Jazzer suggests that Ed could come with him to the pub, but Ed declines, more than once.

As she is delivering Christmas cards round the village because she was too disorganised to get them into the post in time, Denise encounters Alistair, who takes delivery of her card for the vets' surgery and suggests that she might like to come over there in about half an hour for the annual distribution of the Christmas presents they have been given by grateful clients. He holds out Jakob having made Scandi mince pies as an additional incentive, and she agrees to pop back there after shopping at Bridge Farm, though she points out that she doesn't actually work at the surgery any more.

It turns out that Ed has not been too hard to persuade to go to The Bull for a swift pint and to keep Jazzer company for a bit. Just don't tell his mum! Jazzer asks how old he is now, and Ed says thirty-nine, but still, please don't tell his mum. They toast 'to Christmas', and Ed tells Jazzer that Chris has bought Martha a Shetland pony for Christmas. Jazzer is impressed, and muses that Chris probably does make that sort of money, but Ed has no idea what he makes. When Jazzer adds that Alice is loaded, Ed tells him that this was nothing to do with her. Emma just thinks it's crazy, and Martha isn't even three yet; Jazzer points out you see wee weans at the hunt, with which Ed agrees: he always thinks that he bets they don't appreciate what they've got at that age, whereas Keira is twelve and would be over the moon. Ed however will never be able to afford a pony and really wishes he could, so Jazzer reassures him that Keira is a lucky lassie who lives on a farm and has two loving parents. Ed is consoled by this but realises that it isn't really about the pony; he would just love more financial security, from which thought he moves on to Clarrie's melt-down the other week about living hand-to-mouth, and how he doesn't want to end up like his mum and dad when he's their age. He knows it's no different for Jazzer, and hopes he doesn't mind him saying this stuff; he just wants something to change.

Jakob feels that it is very nice that Denise is there, which pleases her; Paul and Jakob squabble about whether there will be any good presents to be shared among them, with Jakob strictly on the side of pessimism and Paul mentioning 'all those chocolates'. Alistair has had to pop out for something and Paul wants to start opening their presents without him but is told 'no' by his mother; Jakob however is happy for him to have a mince pie, made to Jakob's mother's recipe. Paul then wants to open the Prosecco, and is told 'no' again by Denise, but is consoled by the fact that the mince pies are delicious. When Alistair arrives he has with him some real champagne, which he will explain in a minute. Paul at once pesters about starting the presents now, but Alistair wants them all to listen because he has some news. Jakob is unsure he ought to tell them now, and of course once that has been said Paul goes into three-year-old-pester mode, with Denise joining him this time. What Alistair has to tell them is that Lovell James have decided that the Ambridge practice needs a second vet nurse, and they are suggesting Denise. She is delighted, and Alistair and Jakob assure her they would love to have her back. Paul will stay, and the idea of working with his mother practically makes his voice crack with glee. Alistair cracks open the 'real, actual champagne', as Paul puts it.

Ed has had an idea but is unsure it's a goer, and hasn't talked to anyone about it yet. While he was doing some ditching he got talking with a bloke who was doing some tree-surgery along the same route, who used to be in the army and re-trained as a tree-surgeon when he came out. This has interested Ed; he wants to find something better paid, something with prospects, and this bloke was cutting down ash-trees with ash die-back: the wood is still useful and and is in demand for furniture-making in the Far East. Ed is now thinking about training as a tree surgeon, at which he might make some real money. He needs to do some research about it, but he is feeling quite excited about it. Jazzer doesn't want to burst his bubble, but how is he going to pay for the training? Ed doesn't know yet, and they talk about all the gear he would need as well as the training, which wouldn't come cheap. He has to work it all out, and he's not saying anything to Emma yet because he doesn't want to get her hopes up and then find it's impossible. In any case, he had better get going before the shop shuts; he and Jazzer wish each other a happy Christmas and he goes out.

The champagne is good, according to Paul, who sounds surprised by this. Alistair wants to raise a toast to Denise, who would rather have a toast to a lovely Christmas for everyone. They all drink to both. Paul then demands who wants the cuddly tiger, to which Denise remarks he sounds like a game-show host and Jakob replies that he doesn't want any of it. Paul says that he has to have some of it, and when he doesn't see why tells him that apparently it's tradition. Jakob ripostes that traditionally, he takes everything to the charity shop. In that case Paul wants the tiger. They all discuss the presents, and why vets would want cuddly toys, before Jakob opts for some chocolates and Denise asks if anyone wants the socks with the Christmas puddings on them; Paul says they are horrible and she says she was thinking of them for his dad. Paul changes the subject to why Lovell James have suddenly realised they need two vet nurses in Ambridge, and Alistair lets on that he and Jakob have discussed the division of labour in the brief time since they got the email on Friday, and they thought that if Denise works with Alistair on small animals while Paul trains on equine with Jakob and the farms with Alistair too, that might be a good way to organise themselves. They are not sure when she will be transferring back, but it will be soon. Paul is not concentrating on work, and suggests a woolly hat with a penguin on it for Jakob; he refuses it and suggests Paul should have it himself, but even Paul wouldn't be seen dead in it. Denise short-circuits the incipient squabble over this by saying that she is really looking forward to 2024, and she and Alistair clink glasses and say 'cheers'..

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 25th December, 2023

Disaster at Brookfield and then chaos at The Stables; Alistair and Denise bond over sprout crisps.

Characters: Paul, Lily, Denise, Chris, Alice, Ruth, Alistair
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Lunch prep is under way at The Stables, with Paul having organised Lily peeling the potatoes and carrots, and Denise doing the sprouts, while he checks the turkey occasionally. Everyone in the other room has a drink, and they all seem to be getting on well. Then Paul's phone gets a message from Josh: Brookfield has lost its cooker. [Which one: the Aga, the backup-for-summer electric one, or the one for catering in the wedding barn? Chris.] It's not working, and the oven at Rickyard is too small, apparently; they want to come over to The Stables and finish off making their meal. Lily says they can't because there is no room, and wants to know if they can't go to the pub, and if they want to eat at the Stables as well, but Denise thinks that if they shifted lunch a couple of hours it would be possible for everyone to cook and then eat at The Stables, which she thinks would have to happen because they couldn't carry the cooked food back to Brookfield. When Josh rings up for an answer, Paul is instructed by her to tell him yes.

We are told that the notably silent Martha loves Champion (for such is the pony's name) already; Alice proceeds to let Chris know that she is not very pleased with having such a massive present wished on her with no warning nor even any consultation [and bought on impulse in less than forty-eight hours. Chris]; Chris wanted it to be a surprise, for her as well, and thought she would be pleased. Alice doesn't believe him, and says so in so many words, but can't easily explain what she thought he did want to do, except out-do her or impress her perhaps. She doesn't know what is going on here.

It seems as if Ruth at least is aware what an imposition it is to displace someone else's food at Christmas in order to cook one's own, though Denise insists it's all good fun. Lily is refilling glasses, but Denise decides to hold on until things are a bit less chaotic; she is making gravy, which Ruth says smells amazing. Lily reports that everyone in the other room is getting on OK: David and Joy are laying the table, she starts, and Ruth interrupts to ask what about Jill and Stella, who are it seems drinking sherry and doing a Christmas crossword with Ben. Leonard and John are talking about the best way to fix a bicycle chain, which comes as no surprise to Denise. As they are deciding they have so much food they will be fine, Paul's phone rings again, and this time it is Alistair needing help because he has to operate on a dog who's swallowed a Christmas sock. Paul can't help because he is on his second glass of Prosecco, but Denise is sober and volunteers her services; Paul passes her the phone. She tells Alistair she will be there ay ess ay pee, and in a flurry of protests from everyone else hands over the gravy to Lily and leaves.

Chris can't believe Alice is reacting like this, and Alice can't believe he didn't talk to her first. She points out that although Chris doesn't expect her to pay for the purchase, he is assuming the pony can be kept at The Stables, and the fact that he probably can be isn't the point. He apologises for not having talked to her; she just thinks it was an odd thing to do. He explains that he didn't think of it like that, and she tells him that he just caught her by surprise; does he want to take Ambrose with him? Chris agrees that he had better put Ambrose in [Ambrose is a cuddly giraffe. Chris]. Alice protests that they were having a lovely chilled Christmas morning, and that she was thinking, 'Look at us! We're so good at this, at being divorced. We're making it work," and then it all went weird. Chris is sorry; Alice concedes that it is an amazing present and Champion is a really beautiful little pony.

Denise swiftly gets into the routine of looking after a dog before an operation, though Paul having rearranged things throws her a little. It will have to stay in overnight, so Alistair will stay with it.

With his usual OTT enthusiasm Paul exclaims that was brilliant and (in a high-pitched squeak) that it was amazing; Lily is less exuberant but agrees it was such fun, and Ruth thanks them both and rejoices that Stella and Jill got on great; Paul asks why they wouldn't, and Ruth feels obliged to tell him the Pip was really stressed out last week because Stella criticised Jill's lemon drizzle cake, and gives a partial explanation of the row that followed but without mentioning the real casus belli; this leads Lily to exclaim that Stella was brave before changing the subject to the gravy having been amazing, a verdict with which Ruth agrees. They decide to take the clearing up in turns, and Ruth volunteers Ben and Pip for the first shift. [The horrible cow. Gus.]

The operation on the dog has been a success and Alistair is encouraging Denise to feel there is no need for her to stay; he is getting ready to settle in for the night, but she could leave. He doesn't want to ruin her entire Christmas, and she must be starving. She suggests that he must be hungry too, and he admits that he is ravenous, but unfortunately there is no food at the Surgery apart from anything that may be left over from the distribution of presents yesterday. This turns out to be one bag of sprout-flavour crisps, which they agree to share. There is also a solitary cracker, which they pull; it contains two silly hats and one 'gift', a love-heart key-ring. Alistair suddenly says 'Kiss me baby', which startles Denise until he explains he was reading what it on the key-ring and they both laugh in embarrassment. When Denise puts on the paper hat and asks how she looks, Alistair tells her she looks incredibly beautiful; she tells him there is no need for sarcasm and he offers her a sprout crisp. He then wants to ask her something: it's none of his business, but why did she stay with Paul for so long? After hesitation, she explains that Uncle Rufus is demanding and high maintenance and not very nice to her, which baffles Alistair: why didn't John tell Rufus to get lost rather than let Denise stay away from her own home for so long? If it were his wife he wouldn't have let it go on for four weeks, that just doesn't seem right. Denise confides that she and John are having some 'issues'. And she feels really disloyal telling him that. Alistair reassures her that he doesn't think she's disloyal and knows what she means, and, when she adds that they are just living very separates lives, tells her he's sorry. She is keen to make sure he understands that it was Rufus as well, and that she wasn't really lying to Paul about it, and Alistair apologises for asking her, which he realises wasn't fair. She tells him that she is glad to talk about it, and he tells her that he meant it when he told her she was beautiful, then apologises for that as well and says the crisps are not nice at all, they have a strange after-taste, with which mundanity she is happy to agree. Then the door is thrown open and Paul comes in and laughs at them about the matching hats, before presenting them with Christmas dinner which he has brought over on a tray. He informs Denise that they smashed lunch, and she missed a really fabulous Christmas Day.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 26th December, 2023

A tree falls on Emma's car; Lilian spreads a little misery as she goes by.

Characters: Emma, Ed, Tracy, Kenton, Lilian, Jolene
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The wind is high, it is raining and Emma has to get to work for the lunchtime shift; Ed offers to drive her if she doesn't feel like it but she reckons she will be fine, and, when he says she wishes she didn't have to work on Boxing Day, says that she's quite looking forward to it; there is usually quite a good atmosphere in the pub just after Christmas. They had a lovely Christmas Day, with the Christmas miracle of Keira and George being nice to each other all day. Ed just wishes he'd been able to get Emma a better present, but she reminds him they had a pact on maximum prices. When he grumbles that Keira didn't get a pony Emma makes it very clear that she is glad of it, and from what she has heard Alice was not too chuffed that Martha did, to which Ed has to agree. Anyway, she has to get moving; but as she goes off to get dressed there is a bang outside, followed by the sound of a car-alarm; Emma cries out 'My car!'

Pre-opening-time chat between Tracy and Kenton is going on at The Bull, with Tracy telling Kenton that Jim went to the Horrobins for Christmas because Alistair was on call, and Kenton saying it was all very Christmassy, when Lilian totters in and makes no secret of feeling awful; Kenton offers her coffee. He asks how Christmas was and she tells him it was all very lovely with James and Leonie and Mungo, but this morning when she came home to Justin it all went wrong. Kenton makes the right commiserating noises, and she says she thought she couldn't stay there to be miserable so she's come to The Bull to drown her sorrows with strong black coffee, and chase it with a G&T.

Emma can't believe it, and says so repeatedly. Ed reckons the main thing is no-one got hurt, but she is not consoled: look at her car! She can't drive to work in that. [Work being six hundred or so yards away, she might try walking. Just a thought. Chris.] And imagine she'd just got in it when the tree came down! Ed doesn't want to think about it. When she asks if he thinks insurance will cover it he's sure it will, and he doesn't think it's that bad: just the window really. And the headlight, exclaims Emma, and there's a dent. Yeah, Ed agrees, but it should all be fixable. Emma hopes so, and then asks him for a lift in the van after all; they go to get dressed.

Before they set out Emma rings The Bull to explain she will be a little late; Kenton is understanding. Lilian and Jolene want to know what the matter is and if Emma is OK, but, after being assured that she is OK and will be coming in, Lilian wants to know why she wouldn't be. Ed can drive her, can't he? Patiently, Kenton tells her that Ed is driving her; she just said she might be a bit late. Lilian wants to know why; Kenton repeats that a tree just fell on her car; this irritates Lilian, who tells him that she knows and he doesn't have to keep saying it. [Lilian is in fact right: the reason Emma will be late is that she and Ed were not yet dressed when the tree fell on her car, and the tree is not really relevant. Chris.]

Emma can't believe that just happened; her poor car. They have no savings if the insurance won't pay for it all, and she wishes they had a bit in the bank for occasions like this; well, so does Ed. How do people have financial cushions, she wonders, and Ed replies they earn more than Ed and Emma do. He's sorry he doesn't earn more; they agree that they both work really hard, but as Emma says, it doesn't seem to get them anywhere. As he is parking up at The Bull Ed decides to try to cheer her up a bit and tells her about his tree-surgery idea; he has discovered that one can get up to three and a half thousand pounds grant from the Forestry Commission to cover the cost of the course, though they would have to find the cost of equipment; when she asks how much that is he gulps a bit and says seventeen thousand pounds, which sounds a lot but could be the answer. Understandably, she doesn't see how, but goes into the pub to start her shift before they can really discuss the matter. He hopes she has a good day, and she tells him she won't because Lilian is in, and if she is still having trouble with Justin she'll spend the whole time having a go at them. Ed optimistically suggests that they may have made it up, but since Lilian is at the pub Emma doesn't think it likely.

The tale of woe about Justin is continuing; after not being in touch with Lilian at all over Christmas (any more than she got in touch with him, as Jolene establishes), in the car on the way from the station he told her he'd had a pretty good Christmas, and since it was without her she was mortally offended and they finished the drive in silence. She put her bag in the hall and walked straight to the pub. Jolene sympathises, but doesn't want to think it is all over. Lilian pessimistically says they'll see: she's not sure they can get past this. Emma arrives and says she is sorry she's late to Jolene; Jolene is sympathetic about it, but Lilian has a go at her for being as late as she is; Jolene tactfully asks Emma to go and restock the fridges. After she's gone Lilian remarks that she thinks Jolene is a little too soft sometimes. Just as she is having a further go about Emma, Tracy comes through and asks if Emma is all right, and Lilian takes the opportunity to have a go at her as well: she has noticed that Tracy was not smiling at a customer earlier and feels that she ought to smile a bit more. Tracy explains that the gentleman she was serving was telling her that his wife has been really poorly, and Lilian grunts over this in a disbelieving way, then says she has observed her over time and does think she needs to crack a few more jokes and be a bit livelier; Jolene asks Tracy to help Emma with the restocking. When Lilian tells Jolene that she thinks Tracy needs to smile a bit more, Jolene tactfully suggests that we all have our own way of doing things.

In the other bar, Tracy and Emma complain to each other about Lilian's crossness: Tracy says she is driving her insane, and Emma replies with Lilian having had a go at her as well. Since this is caused by her being at outs with Justin, Tracy vows to get them back together somehow and tells Emma she will be forever grateful and tell her she's a beautiful genius every day forever more. Emma agrees it's a deal.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 27th December, 2023

Kate is Difficult; Alistair and Denise suffer more flirtus interruptus.

Characters: Denise, Alistair, Kate, Brian, Alice, Harry
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

On the phone, Denise advises a client to bring a cat in at three for them to have a look, then tells Alistair about that and his twelve-thirty client having cancelled. He suggests an early lunch, to which he will treat her, but she has brought a packed lunch, as indeed has he. She is not yet back working at the Ambridge surgery, but is filling in for one day because Paul is a bit under the weather. [How did she know this? Is she staying in Ambridge again? If so, why did she need a packed lunch when the surgery is next door to The Stables? Chris.] She suggests they could go and sit outside together to eat their lunches in the sun; Alistair asks 'What sun?' and says it is freezing out there.

The idea of Kate and Brian having come round totally uninvited 'to cheer Alice up' is obviously unwelcome to Alice, who doesn't want excellent Christmas cake nor Kate putting the kettle on, though she does her best to make civilised conversation. After a little she tells them that she is going out for lunch in a bit, in an attempt to get them to realise that they are not needed. Brian at once offers to get out of her way, but, Kate being Kate, the hint is lost on her, and Alice gives up, changes her mind and decides she has just time for a cuppa.

It clearly is cold outside, though Denise valiantly suggests it is nice to get some fresh air. She reminds Alistair about the last time they shared lunch-time sandwiches at work, in August 2022, and he gallantly bought her a tomato to brighten up a boring cheese sandwich [which she'd presumably made for herself so why didn't she add pickles in the first place? Chris] [because Boring John makes the sandwiches for the household. Boring sandwiches. Gus]; Alistair remembers that it was the day she told him she was moving to another practice because she wanted a change, and asks if she is glad she did. She seems unsure, because she really missed being in Ambridge, but when Alistair suggests she could have come back points out that would have meant putting her own son out of a job. However, when Alistair says that he didn't know she regretted it she just tells him he looks completely freezing, which he admits he is.

Whilst Alice is making them the 'cuppa', Brian asks Kate whether she has found anywhere to live yet, and she tells him she is looking at a flat belonging to a friend of a friend, with two bedrooms and high ceilings and in a quiet spot. Alice then comes in with the drinks and Brian apologises for having come at a bad time; he and Kate have a short spat about him thinking her licorice and fennel tea sounds disgusting and her claiming not to judge what he drinks, instantly followed by her telling him that he drinks too much caffeine. Kate wants to know who Alice is meeting for lunch, refuses to accept 'You don't know them' as an answer, and starts to pry into Alice's business. Brian asks whether he is missing something, and when Kate says coyly that perhaps he is, asks plaintively why Kate is being weird, to which Alice tartly responds it's because Kate is weird. However, when Kate keeps prodding, and Alice admits 'he' is picking her up, even Brian feels obliged to ask whether she has a new boyfriend, something which Alice at once denies. Kate squeaks excitedly that if he is picking Alice up then they can meet him, and Brian says that he would like to, while Alice exclaims 'definitely not!' in horror and tells them they have to go. Kate can't believe Alice hasn't told her anything about him and wants to know how long this has been going on; Alice replies no time at all, which is why they can't possibly meet him. Brian, getting into the swing of things, wants to know his name and what he does for a living, and how Alice met him; Alice is mildly outraged, while Kate [sounding more prepubescent by the minute. Chris] wants her to tell them everything. Alice tries to stonewall but does tell them his name is Harry (which Brian instantly remarks is a good name), then says she didn't really have time for coffee and needs to get ready to go out; before she can the doorbell rings and she starts to flap about not being ready. Brian offers to get it, promising to be nice, but Alice worries that Harry is not expecting to meet her entire family and it's not fair. As they argue, the bell rings again and Kate points out he will think Alice isn't there at this rate, so Alice goes to let him in. She tells him he is early and that's not a problem but her father and sister are there and now they want to meet him: would he mind talking with them for five minutes while she gets ready? He is surprisingly amenable to the idea.

Being back indoors is better as far as Alistair is concerned, and Denise apologises for her stupid idea and says her hands are freezing; Alistair asks her to give them to him, and starts to rub them to warm them. His hands are warm even though he is not wearing gloves, which Denise thinks is amazing. ['Amazing' is one of Katie Hims' favourite words, used a lot during her scripts. Chris.] He tells her that he missed her, and she responds in kind just as the office phone rings and she feels obliged to answer it. It's her husband, wanting to know where to find the rinse-aid: he tried her mobile but got no answer. After she rings off she says 'sorry' to Alistair and they have a disjointed conversation about various totally unimportant things before she says that she thinks she'll just finish her lunch at the desk.

Under questioning, Harry tells Brian that he owns an equestrian yard and used to be a full-time event rider until an injury put an end to that. He and Brian joke about it having taken years of intensive therapy to get over it, which Harry didn't mean and Brian assumed he did. When Alice gets back in saying she is ready to go, Harry tells her she looks lovely and Brian agrees that she looks terrific; Kate wants to know if that's a new top, and when told that it is wants to know if she can borrow it, to which the answer is no. Brian, with Harry's corroboration, tells Alice that he hasn't been interrogating Harry, and Alice and Harry prepare to leave, with Harry saying it was lovely to meet Kate and Brian, and hoping he will see them again. As they go out Alice says Kate and Brian could stay and finish their drinks. As the door closes behind them Brian exhales and calls it a turn-up for the books, sounding quite pleased, but Kate is dubious: Harry seems nice enough. Brian enthuses that he's fantastic, even perfect; Kate argues that they hardly know him, but Brian feels you can just tell: he's so solid, just a lovely ('class appropriate' inserts Kate) guy – and Brian didn't say anything about class. He's horse mad and so is Alice, to which Kate can't resist pointing out that there aren't that many horse-mad working class boys, are there, except for, oh yes, Chris. Brian rather crossly wants to know why she is being like this, and inquires 'didn't you like him?' Kate says not especially, and Brian demands to know why. She doesn't like his aura, it seems, which Brian of course thinks is a lot of hokum; he thought she was going to say something half-sensible. She protests that it is more than half sensible, and there is something off about Harry. Brian decides to tell her something quite important: when Alice announced she was going to marry Chris [which she didn't: she came back from Vegas and announced that she had married Chris, which is not the same thing. And Kate wasn't in England at the time, she was in RSA. Chris] Kate was horrified, and then she came round, didn't she, and they had a very good marriage while it lasted. Triumphantly Kate asserts that perhaps she was right in the beginning, then, since they are now divorced. Brian rightly tells her that as far as he can make out they are divorced because of what Alice was going through, not because Chris wasn't a good man. Or a good husband. Or a good father. Kate reluctantly concedes these things, and Brian asks her to forgive him if he can't take her reaction to Harry very seriously. Kate thinks this is different, and when Brian rather cruelly remarks that she would say that, wouldn't she, indignantly ask what she is supposed to do? Lie? Brian tells her, not tell Alice is what she's supposed to do, and Kate of course claims she wasn't going to say anything about his aura; Brian advises her not to say anything about anything, just see how it goes. Alice looked so happy just now; Kate acknowledges that she did, and agrees with Brian when he uses the word 'radiant' as well. Alice has been through so much, Brian observes, then begs Kate not to make things awkward or difficult. She promises not to; she wants Alice to be happy, she does, she'd be thrilled. Brian feels that in that case she should give Harry a chance.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 28th December, 2023

Emma is keen to change her life; Lilian settles for more of the same.

Characters: Emma, Ed, Justin, Brian, Tracy, Lilian, Jolene
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

With a loud shout, Emma interrupts Ed as he is chainsawing, in order to give him a cuppa she has brought him; he's cutting up the tree which landed on her car, and says it's fun, to which she replies that it looks fun and he looks the part in all the safety gear. She wants to know if it's difficult, and when he says it's not, wonders if he thinks she could do it. It's the tree that ruined her car, so she'd like to try it. He tells her she'll have to wear the safety gear.

At The Bull Justin and Brian are having a drink together; In response to a polite inquiry Brian tells Justin that his Christmas was as nice as it could have been without Jennifer, in fact better than he had dreaded it being, then reveals that yesterday they met Alice's new chap, rather by accident. He's called Harry and he's a former event rider. Justin at once says that he sounds ideal, and Brian agrees that he does seem like good news. Justin is very pleased for Alice, who deserves some luck, [Why? What has she done to 'deserve' being lucky? Chris] and Brian agrees that is his feeling too. He then asks how Justin's Christmas was, and Justin admits it was horrendous; he didn't know what to do with himself so he hung about the house and watched bad TV, and ate an entire yule-tide log, and felt absolutely wretched. He's ashamed of telling Brian, but on the other hand what does it matter? He's got nothing to lose if he's lost Lilian. Brian asserts that he hasn't lost her, it's just a tiff, but Justin is not at all sure: it's one hell of a tiff. They've fallen out before, but he thinks this is different; he's hurt her, deeply. When Brian advises him to admit it and apologise, and promise he'll do better in the future, Justin almost wails that he has, he's done all that, and he's at his wits' end. They haven't really talked since she came back on Tuesday, just the news or the weather or 'do you know where the tin-opener's gone?', things like that. Tracy comes to clear the used glasses off the table just then, and Justin essentially ignores her existence, saying 'between you and me, Brian, she's the love of my life.' Tracy cannot resist this opening, and after asking him to excuse her for interrupting says that's where he's going wrong: 'between you and me, she's the love of my life' shouldn't be between him and Brian, it should be between him and Lilian – which Brian at once says is a good point. He thinks Tracy's onto something. Tracy tells them everyone has seen how miserable Lilian is this last few weeks (all fortnight of them. Chris] and everyone says the two of them are meant to be together; her advice is, open your heart. Tell her how you feel.

It's clear that Emma is having a wonderful time with the chainsaw, and Ed thinks she is good at it. She loves it and wonders, what if she trained with him? She doesn't really like working indoors or doing repetitive chores and hates the smell of the dishwasher. The thought of not doing that wiping down and cleaning up fills her with joy. Ed had no idea she felt that way and they start talking excitedly, Ed saying that he loves the idea of them working together and it being a family business.

A one-woman wet weekend has walked into The Bull and greets Jolene, who asks how she is doing. Lilian replies she is not too bad, thanks, and asks how business has been. Jolene says it has been excellent over Christmas, but they need to think of some ideas for later in the month to counter the effects of Dry January; Lilian says she will have a think, and orders a G&T. As she gets it for her Jolene points out that Justin is sitting over there with Brian, and asks if things are no better between Lilian and Justin; Lilian is afraid not, and suggests a fashion show to pull in the punters, which Jolene thinks an excellent idea, something different. She imagines it would cheer up dull Dry January, and Lilian is rather pleased with the idea. When Tracy comes to the bar and mentions that there are two old fellows over there having an argument she assumes Tracy means Brian and Justin, but she is wrong: Tracy means two proper old fellows, arguing about who has been drinking at The Bull the longest. This gives Lilian another idea: what if they had a competition to find out who has been drinking in this pub the longest? Jolene thinks that is another good idea, and Lilian smugly remarks that she is on fire today. Tracy suggests a free drink every day for the rest of their lives for the person who wins, on the grounds that it probably won't be for very long, but Lilian suggests that a free drink once a week is a safer bet.

Emma is wondering whether she could get a grant as well as Ed [short answer: no. They are not available at present. Chris] and she and Ed start to build castles in the air and talk about a business loan for the twenty k they would need for both of them. Emma doesn't really like the idea of that much debt, which scares her a bit, and when Ed tries to talk her into it, saying that it's a gamble but then, so is farming, she says she doesn't want to gamble any more. Ed reckons it's less risky than a lot of what their families have been doing for generations; they could have their own business, be their own boss, have something to hand on to the kids. Emma starts to take it seriously again and they agree to find out if the bank would give them a loan; Ed has a really good feeling about this.

Apparently Justin has had the temerity to laugh with Brian, and Lilian is incensed: she rants about him being completely heartless, and Jolene tells her this is crazy and wants to know why she doesn't just go and talk to him. Furiously Lilian explains that he should come and talk to her. Jolene abruptly goes to get some more ice and Lilian has another go at Tracy for not smiling enough, according to her, at which Tracy loses patience with her and tells her that she is a perfectly smiley human being and Lilian is to stop projecting her unhappiness onto Tracy and (ignoring Lilian's outraged 'excuse ME!') go over there and sort things out with Justin, because that poor man is sitting with Brian breaking his heart over her. Lilian snorts at the idea, but Tracy needs very little encouragement to tell her what she heard him say to Brian, even though it's not her place: he said Lilian was the love of his life. Lilian decides that perhaps she should go over there.

When she asks Justin if she might have a word, Brian swiftly decides to go to the bar for some crisps and leaves them alone together. They agree they are both feeling terrible, and Justin admits that saying Christmas had been 'pretty good' was a lie which he uttered because he didn't want to sound an idiot [an idle wish, in my opinion. Chris] and didn't want her to feel sorry for him. He now wants to be clear, for the record, that he had the worst Christmas of his entire life. She sounds enthusiastic as she asks if he really did, and when he confirms that it was miserable spontaneously cries out, 'Oh, I'm glad!' He doesn't seem as disconcerted as one might expect, merely asking, 'Really?' (and getting the enthusiastic reply, 'Yes yes yes!') before remarking that he knows that she and he do this, quite often, but usually it doesn't feel entirely serious; she supposes that usually it isn't. Justin goes on to say unhappily that he really does understand that he's betrayed her trust, but he's apologised and that doesn't seem to have changed anything, and he doesn't know what else he can do. She doesn't want dinner or chocolates or ear-rings, he knows that now, but what else can he offer her? She explains that she feels as if he cares more about his business than he does about her, and when he tries to protest tells him just to listen: this isn't the first time he has prioritised his business interests over her, but she doesn't think he realises that. For some reason this time it really got to her, and she just doesn't trust him any more. He breathes that this is a disaster, and she adds that she doesn't know what he can do about that. He earnestly tells her that she is the love of his life, and she takes the wind out of his sails completely by informing him that yes, that's what Tracy said he had said. She then requires him to promise her that he will never betray her again. He says that he promises. The moment breaks as he realises that everyone is staring at them, which surprises her; Brian chooses this moment to call over from the bar, 'Kiss her, Justin, for crying out loud!' [Tactfully not adding, 'I want to get back to my pint.' Chris/Gus.] Justin asks if he can, Lilian exclaims, 'go on then!' and they kiss while the pub regulars say ooh, and laugh, and clap their hands.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 29th December, 2023

Kate and Brian may be getting closer; Denise and Alistair agree not to do so.

Characters: Kate, Brian, Alistair, Denise, Paul,
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Surprised at work, Kate says she has no time for Brian because she has had to sweep up and clear the place of leaves blown in through a window left open over Christmas, and must now get everything ready for an imminent class. He wants to talk for a minute about her living situation, but she airily says that is all sorted and she has found somewhere; she told him that, and is going to look at the flat in Felpersham tomorrow. She pleads poverty when it comes to renting in Ambridge, since Spiritual Home doesn't exactly earn her a fortune. And she really has no time now: there will be loads of women turning up in about ten minutes for a yoga class and she is not even vaguely ready. She is clearly on the ragged edge of exasperation, sharp voice rising, and Brian gives up for the moment.

A practice meeting has been called at the vets' but is futile because Jakob for some reason is not there. Denise suggests that maybe they should just reskedual [sic. Chris] and Paul points out they are here now, to which she responds that Jakob isn't: she's a bit worried about time because she has so much to do today. Paul seems to be getting on Denise' nerves rather, and Alistair is trying to sort out how they are all four going to work together. He was thinking that one of the first things Denise could do when she starts there again is train Paul up in various bits of admin that they haven't had time to go through with him; she agrees, Paul wants to know what bits of admin. Alistair wants him to be in sole charge of the insurance processing. Paul then insists he needs to train Denise in his new system for dispensing the medication, which ruffles her feathers again. Alistair intervenes to head off what seems to promise to be an acrimonious argument, and suggests perhaps they could go into it when she is back properly. Denise tries again to get the meeting postponed because of Jakob's absence, with further edgy sniping, and Paul claims he and Denise are not going to be like this all the time when they are working together. Alistair then notices that he has three missed calls from his dad, and says they will understand if Denise wants to go, but he'd better answer them. As soon as he has left the room Paul asks Denise sharply what is wrong with her and accuses her of being stroppy. She denies it, and he then asks if everything is OK; when she says everything is fine he clearly doesn't believe her, then laughs and adds that he thinks he knows. She suspiciously asks, 'Knows what?' and he replies, 'What's going on.'

Brian is now helping to clear up after the class, in which he did not participate despite Kate offering to include him; he is startled to learn that each session costs twelve pounds. After saying that it did look like a great class, he asks if he can tell her what he was going to suggest before: he thinks she should move in with him. She thinks he is joking, and laughs at him; when he asks why it is so funny she says they would kill each other. She would drive him mad and he would certainly drive her mad. He thinks not, so long as she isn't constantly giving him advice based on the waxing moon, to which she immediately comes back with the comment that the waxing moon is very important. When he says that it is, in terms of gravity, she tells him that he wouldn't be able to stop himself mocking her; he promises that he would restrain himself but she says no most emphatically. He changes tack and tried to flatter her about how well she has done with Spiritual Home, to which she says thank you; he claims that he really does think they should try living together and see how it goes, but she continues to say no. She thinks it is a terrible idea.

When he comes back in Alistair apologises to Denise and Paul: Jim never rings him at work so he thought something awful might have happened, but it turned out Jim couldn't find the remote. He then mentions that he thought Denise was heading off, and Paul tells him that he and Mum were just having a chat about what's going on here between Alistair and her (Alistair utters a non-committal 'really?') and Paul worked out why she was being off. Denise irritably asserts that she was not being 'off' and sighs in exasperation when he tells her she knows what he means. The thing is, says Paul, his mum has been away for a year and it's quite difficult for her to come back and find that things have changed. Alistair breaths out 'oh, right' in relief. Paul goes on to tell Alistair that Denise can see that he and Alistair have found a level and the question is, how does she fit into that when she and Alistair have always had a really close working relationship. Alistair is puzzled but acquiesces; Denise says that Paul is making it seem bigger than it is, and Paul tells her that is literally what she just said. Patiently, she says that she is sure they will all be just fine; the two men agree.

Brain is now drinking chai and being polite about it, and Kate tells him that she didn't mean to be so negative about his idea; it was very kind of him to offer to house her, which not everyone's dad would would do. He now has a confession to make: it wasn't purely selfless of him, and he has to admit he's lonely. He hates saying that out loud because it sounds so 'pity-me'. Kate is sympathetic and says of course he is lonely: he was married to Mum for how many years? Forty-six, he tells her. He thought it would get better, easier, but although it has, of course, but not as much as he'd like, and this Christmas it hit him that he might feel like this for the rest of his life. So actually, she'd be doing him a favour if she moved in; but obviously he doesn't want her to live with him purely because she feels sorry for him. Have a think about it? She says OK, and he suggests she should go and look at the flat tomorrow and if she loves it and can see herself living there then go for it. Kate is now worried about him, and he immediately says she mustn't worry, not at all; he was uncomfortable with her thinking he was being purely selfless. She softly tells him that it will get better; she doesn't believe he will feel like this for the rest of his life. He now regrets having said anything, but she is glad he did because he doesn't talk enough about his feelings. She now wonders if they should try living together: it's risky... Brian considers that it isn't that risky because they will just see how it goes, but what she means it that she's a Libra and he's a Scorpio, which in her experience means it will be either absolutely brilliant or completely awful. [No mention is made of Brian having promised the bedroom in Blossom Hill Cottage – other than his own – to Ruairi for as long as he wants it. Chris.] [Maybe the third bedroom, which came to visit with Ursula, decided to stay. Gus.]

Once they are rid of Paul, Alistair and Denise have an awkward and inconclusive conversation in which they admit to a mutual attraction but relief that they have not allowed things to get too involved. They have to work together, so it's as well they didn't kiss but were interrupted by the phone call from Denise's husband John: that would have been a disaster, and they agree it was lucky he rang when he did. Alistair feels it's good they had this conversation now, before Denise is officially back, and she whole-heartedly agrees. She also agrees when he tells her it's a relief to clear the air and find out where they stand. She affirms that they have just got to be professionals and stay within boundaries; and Paul's right that they have always had a brilliant working relationship and she is sure they'll continue to do so. She then leaves to go home.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 31st December, 2023

Peggy has moved on; Lilian remains the same as ever.

Characters: Brian, Lilian, Tony, Tracy, Kenton, Jolene
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The Lodge is being cleared and cleaned to Peggy's ('exceedingly exacting', according to Lilian) standards by Brian, Lilian and Tony. Pat and Lilian persuaded her not to come and supervise the job herself; Tony reckons it was a good thing The Laurels served up a cream tea to distract her. She was tucking into it with Kate and Pat when Tony left. Lilian is of the opinion that Peggy has been lucky to land a room with a stunning view of the gardens from her bay window. Since they seem to have done all they can for today, Lilian and Kate will come back on Tuesday and do a bit of polishing, after which it should be ready for the market. Brian wants to head home for a well-earned Scotch; Lilian doesn't want to let him spend tonight of all nights alone, but he just reckons he has earned an evening of peace. When Lilian tries to tempt him to The Bull with the promise of a darts tournament Tony scoffingly wants to know since when she has been a darts fan, to which she replies since spending the last few evenings in the fug of Justin's cold and flu remedies. Brian refuses even the lure of making up a darts team with her, and Tony will be babysitting, and raising a glass to his and Pat's son John, who would have been forty-eight today. Lilian is not going to let it go, and in the end Brian capitulates and agrees to join her at The Bull, though he refuses to go out smelling of lavender floor-polish and will need to go home and change. Tony will take the bin-bags to the tip and join them later. Lilian remarks that [like every damn' thing in TA this century. Chris] it feels like the end of an era: no more cream teas at The Lodge. It has hit Kate pretty hard, though Tony says Mum has embraced the change.

The Ploughman's bar is set up and according to Tracy looks gorgeous; Kenton hopes they will have a full house. As well as many regulars being there, George will be bringing a bunch of his friends. [I do not believe this. Chris.] The two gossip about Denise coming back and Paul having thrown himself into village life; Kenton reckons he should love it in The Bull tonight with traditional games, traditional ales, bar snacks... Bert Horrobin has come down there early and Tracy is keeping an eye on him. He and Neville Booth are in some sort of competition about the longest drinker, which now seems to have become about not about who has been drinking at the pub since the earliest date, but who has spent greatest duration drinking in it. Jolene is backing Bert, while Kenton is team Neville. Kenton tells Tracy he has kept the peace between them by giving them each a drink, which he doesn't mind doing because he is conducting a little experiment.

The darts team effort of Lilian and Brian is a winning one, though for some obscure reason Lilian decides that the spirit of Jennifer was guiding her hand, and then tells Brian he must miss her terribly. Quite failing to brain her with a stein, he mildly agrees, and then thanks her for dragging him out. However, when she tells him he should really get out more he firmly informs her that he is fine as he is. She isn't letting up and suggests he would be a real asset to the Parish Council, or the committee for the Flower and Produce Show; if Jakob can run the Gagriculture show anything's possible. Brian is rescued by Tony's arrival: the girls have gone to sleep and Pat told him to come down to The Bull and buy Brian and Lilian pints. Also, he hears that congratulations are in order: is he looking at the new 301 darts champions? Lilian thinks it was beginners' luck.

When he gets to the bar Tony sees there is a new ale on draught: Gulchers Moxy. Kenton tells him it is the first zero percent IPA from Shire's brewery, part of Kenton's 'dry not dreary' January theme. He's got a whole menu of exciting non-alcoholic drinks. Tony laughs but isn't tempted; he will have a regular Shires, the same for Brian and a G&T for Lilian. Oh, and whatever Bert and Neville are drinking; Kenton asks if they said what they wanted and is told 'same again', although they said it tastes a bit different. Kenton laughs: look at them, as raucous as ever and yet not a drop of liquor drunk. Tracy, coming over, explains with hilarity that Kenton gave them pints of Gulchers Moxy at the start of the evening and they've been asking for the same again ever since; Kenton gloats that it is the best advert for 'dry not dreary' that he could hope for. Jolene brings over glasses and Tracy invites her to imagine if the pub were this full every night; Jolene says in that case she'd be booking her plane ticket to Paradise, even if it meant missing the famous fashion show. Tony is surprised by the idea, which Jolene is looking forward to in spite of there being quite a lot of work involved. Kenton suspiciously asks how much work, and Jolene starts to give him a list of what must be done, starting with collecting the old clothes out of which they will make the costumes; Tony finds it amusing, but Kenton is not so sure.

Lilian has gone outside for a cigarette and Brian has gone with her; he has been a little brought down from the high of winning the darts tournament by the discovery that the prize is a chocolate dartboard. Lilian muses that New Year is a funny thing: a moment of hope and looking forward to the future, but also melancholy because so much has changed. Tony catches up with them at this point, bearing booze; Lilian apologizes and says they did try and find him to let him know. When Tony says it's absolutely packed in there she suggests they should go in and try to find somewhere to perch before everyone else has the same idea, but Tony promised Pat he would see the New Year in with her. They both thank him for finishing up at The Lodge, and wish him a happy New Year. Lilian remarks how lovely it is to have a clear sky after days of rain: this is Ambridge at its best.

In the bar Jolene is encouraging people to help themselves to a glass of 'bubbly', and Tracy is reminded of last year and the proposal; Kenton seems to have been amused by having had the most colourful set of insults flung at him from Bert after telling him about the Gulchers Moxy; Bert claims that he has been tricked by being sold a drink with no alcohol in it, and Jolene comments that 'sold' is a laugh, since he hasn't bought a drink all night. This is what Kenton said, it seems. Tracy calls it a result: she won't be facing a bear with a sore head in the morning, and Lilian asks for two glasses of bubbly and is told to help herself. She hands one to Brian and tells him that 2024 may look a bit daunting but they'll get through it together; Brian agrees that they will. Jolene then makes a short speech and starts the countdown to midnight; at midnight everyone starts to sing Auld Lang Syne.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti


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