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Monday 1st January, 2024

Kate avoiding work comes back to bite her in the bum.

Characters: Joy, Brian, Tony, Henry, Kate, Helen
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Although he didn't expect the village shop to be open, Brian has gone there for butter and bread, and Joy is delighted to have a customer to talk at. She always finds New Year's Day a bit quiet when you're on your own; Brian on the contrary thinks quiet exactly what he wants, having been dragged out on New Year's Eve by Lilian, and when Joy describes her evening with feet up, telly on and writing her New Year resolutions in the front of her new diary he thinks that sounds a perfect way to bring in a new year. He does however admit that he enjoyed himself at The Bull. He reveals that although his house is full of Christmas left-overs, all he fancies is beans on toast. She agrees that she feels the same, telling him he is only the fifth customer she's had in all day, and just then Tony comes in, but not as a customer. He saw Brian and has come in for a private word with him because he has made a terrible mistake. Kate has asked Lilian to pop into The Lodge and pick up the last of her things, but they've gone. Tony took to the tip the three big black bin-bags Kate had left in her room, because he thought they were rubbish. Brian's immediate reaction is exasperation about Kate's stupidity, while Joy's is sympathy for her. Tony has no idea what he is to say to Kate, and Brian tells him not to worry too much since Kate often dumps all her worldly possessions and starts again. Tony has probably done her a favour. Tony needs to get Henry home but after that will come straight round to confess what he has done and see if there is anything he can do to make it up to Kate, which to Joy sounds like a good idea. Brian however says he will tell her when he gets back and is sure she will be fine. When Joy asks what was in the bags Tony says that Lilian thought it was a mixture: clothes, books, bits and bobs; Brian is confident it's not a problem, and tells Tony to leave it to him.

When he gets back to the car Tony apologises to Henry, saying that he must be freezing; Henry reminds him about getting oregano for Pat, which he forgot but says he can ask Helen for. Henry has been milking the Montys, which he loved; he offers to help again tomorrow if Tony would like, even though it's his birthday. Helen has said they're not going out until late; Tony remembers the day Henry was born and can't believe that he is going to be a teenager, and Henry mutters something about a teenager who hangs out with his mum and little brother, then pretends he didn't say anything; he is going out for pizza with Keira, Sindhu and Frank, which is great, but with Helen and Jack as well. Tony offers to have a word with her about it, but Henry doesn't see any point and doesn't want Mum to feel bad.

Kate is having a shrill and indignant go, not at Tony but at Brian, about her lost belongings. When Brian reasons with her about it, she becomes even shriller and more indignant. He doesn't help matters by suggesting that she might have a hangover and offering to make them both beans on toast and a pot of tea. She tells him not to bother, since she is going to Jakob's to see what she actually still owns in this world, and stomps furiously out.

When Tony does take his chance to have a word with her, asking about her and Jack going with them on his birthday treat, Helen simply starts laughing and agrees with him that Henry is getting to the age at which he needs a little freedom; she acknowledges that everything has made her a little protective of the boys, but that's all over now and things are different, and Henry has it wrong. The birthday treat she has organised is pretty nail-biting and she won't be anywhere near Henry or his mates. She is taking Jack to the cinema, and has organised for Sandu's older sister Dani to be the adult supervisor on the ground. Tony repeats 'on the ground?' questioningly, then asks if Henry is going hang-gliding, but Helen laughs some more and tells him she's not quite ready for that.

In spite of Kate having gone to Jakob's, Joy has managed to get hold of her and has offered to let her have some clothes: she knows they are not the same size, but there might be a few things that would come in handy until she gets herself sorted. Kate is very grateful to her and says she will hang onto this coat for now; luckily she was wearing her mac on Sunday but her proper warm winter jacket is definitely gone. She just keeps remembering things she has lost: like, all her pyjamas. Joy is inspired to find some she had got for Rochelle for Christmas: they have reindeer in Santa hats on them; Kate remarks that it's strange having a grown-up daughter, and mentions Phoebe being twenty-five, which calls forth reminiscence about the infant Rochelle from Joy, and then Kate's own comment that she had Phoebe at Glastonbury Festival and still has the wristband to prove she was there. There is a pause as she realises that the wristband was in the pocket of the coat which is gone. She castigates herself for being so stupid: if only she'd gone back to help them clean The Lodge! Joy tries to comfort her by saying she is sure what Kate was doing was equally important, but Kate, stricken, says she was eating jam and cream scones. See, says Joy triumphantly: what did she say? This makes Kate laugh, even if tremulously, and admit that she was helping Gran settle in at The Laurels but it was for her own sake really, since Peggy seems perfectly settled already. Kate then wonders whether there is a chance she could get her things back from the tip? Joy isn't sure, because places like that are often very strict, but Kate hopes that since it must be closed today, the bags should still be in whatever container Tony tossed them in; maybe if she goes there early tomorrow morning someone can help her fish them out. Joy reckons it's worth trying. Brian comes in and asks how things are going, and Kate tells him Joy has been wonderful and completely understands, and she's encouraged her to go searching for her stuff tomorrow. When she mentions her Glastonbury wristband being one of the missing things Brian is genuinely sorry and remembers with her that Jennifer insisted on her keeping things of that sort. He then offers Joy something to drink, which she refuses on the grounds she is speaking to Mick soon; he went to his brother's for Christmas but she didn't fancy going with him, though she'll be pleased to see him when he gets back. Kate asks about Rochelle and her children, but Joy says this year was the turn of her husband's family to have them for Christmas and Joy can't be greedy. And if that drink is still on offer, Joy thinks she'd like it after all. She'd like a glass of white wine, if he has it. Kate says she too could do with a drink after the day she's had.

Henry and Helen are playing computer games; Helen exclaims that's a first and she has never been melted by two giant watermelons before. She asks whether Henry would like to play again or would prefer to hear the plans for tomorrow? Jack is so excited, she imagines he will wake Henry at the crack of dawn. (Henry hopes not.) And then they will make him birthday breakfast in bed, and he can open his presents, including the one from Lee, and the cake made by his very own mother, at which Henry groans but then, as is clearly expected of him, says will be just as good as Fallon's cakes. Tentatively Henry asks about tomorrow night with his friends, and Helen says she thought they could just have a little Teddy Bears Picnic in the living-room: Jack's made some tiny little jam sandwiches and butterfly buns... Henry is finally driven to mild protest, and she laughs and says she's just kidding before revealing the real plans: he is going on a tree-high adventure in the dark, followed by hot-dogs and hot chocolate at the café's campfire. He is delighted: it sounds amazing. As an anxious afterthought he asks whether Jack is coming with them, and Helen says no; this is Henry's treat, and she won't even be there; she thinks he is getting too old to have his mum hanging around at something like that. He is just to make sure he takes lots of photos. He promises that he will: this is going to be awesome and he can't wait for tomorrow.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 2nd January, 2024

Henry is off on an Adventure, and everyone else is pandering to Kate.

Characters: Jakob, Kate, Tony, Helen, Henry
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Going to the tip has proved a wasted journey for Kate; it was raining hard and the man in charge refused to allow her to rootle about in the skips. [I should hope not: that would be extremely dangerous. Chris.] [So? Gus] Jakob is sympathetic but unhelpful, and when Kate asks him to come with her for lunch at the tea-room he explains he's already eaten lunch and has to go and see a horse near Penny Hassett. She makes a wild accusation about everyone thinking she is being over-dramatic, and when Jakob says he doesn't tells him Brian did and she can tell what Jakob is thinking. At least Joy understands that there is a difference between deciding what you want to get rid of and having that choice made for you. Jakob protests that Tony didn't choose to throw her things away, and then thinks they should talk about it later; Kate ignores that to tell him that it's really hard because now Mum isn't there her Glastonbury wristband means more to her than ever: Jennifer salvaged it from her throw-away pile and was so right to insist she keep it as a precious memory of an extraordinary birth. [Two things: One, when is this touching scene meant to have happened? I can think of no occasion on which Kate was actually clearing her things as opposed to running off and leaving that to other people. And two: sweetheart, if they let you have it outside hospital, this was a boringly normal birth, not extraordinary in any way. Chris.] Jakob eventually manages to escape to his appointment.

Just before it is about to be put on the table, Helen finishes icing Henry's birthday cake in the Paris Saint-Germain colours as Tony is sent through to help. She gets him to put out cake-plates while she puts icing on the last corner, and he gives her the required praise, telling her Henry will love it; she knows Henry will be polite and Jack will let her know how messy it is. She told her parents that what Henry wanted was a pair of expensive trainers, which he did like, and Tony got a photo of his face when he opened the box. Lee gave him a 'cool' light-up globe, and Jack some spider window-walkers. Tony asks when they need to set off for the Tree-High adventure, and Helen says they were picking Keira up at five but she's not sure now: Henry seems to be less keen on the idea than he was but doesn't want to tell her what is the matter. Tony suggests that if he takes Henry to see the Montys again after they've cut the cake, he might be able to get to the bottom of Henry's change of heart. Helen thanks him and they take the cake through.

By telling Henry about his mistake over Kate's bin-bags, Tony presents himself as an idiot, and he then tells Henry that the cow Henry spotted limping yesterday just needed a hoof-trim. Having thus given Henry some neutral chat, he brings up the subject of the evening entertainment by remarking that the rain has stopped, and finds out what is really bothering Henry: he is nervous about what he is to do if something goes wrong. What if Mum can't answer her phone, and he needs her? He just wishes he wasn't going. Also, he feels really stupid about it all, after his proud words about wanting more independence. Tony reassures him that there is nothing stupid about anything he's just said: every single time in his life that Tony has done something new he has felt nervous. Also, since Sindhu's big sister will be there she will be the one who has to be responsible if anything goes wrong, not Henry. What's more, Tony promises, if Henry needs to message him, Tony will be there in no time. Henry is reassured by this, and Tony then assures him that nothing will go wrong, and he will have a brilliant night.

At Spiritual Home Kate has been trying to soothe herself with a ginger and juniper essential oil mix, which is supposed to bring comfort, but she tells Jakob it hasn't worked and she is now tidying up ready to go home. He wants her to go to his tonight, so they can go out for something to eat. She doesn't feel like it, and he wants to know why; she tries to change the subject to the horse he had to see, but he is determined. He knows she is upset; she promptly claims to be fine now, and over it. He reveals that he and Lilian spent three hours of the afternoon searching his flat for her wristband in case she had dropped it there; they didn't find it, and he knows it sounds silly, but they did try. Tearfully, Kate thanks him, and he then remembers that he has a card for her: it contains vouchers and is from Lilian, Tony and Brian. Jakob is sorry the wrist-band's gone, and so is Kate, but she tells him she has all the memories of it, and now she has one of Jakob looking for it in a bag of dust with Auntie Lilian because they both love her and know how much it meant to her, and Mum refusing to let her throw it out because she always knew Kate better than she knows herself, and of her. listening to music in a field, and walking away with a beautiful new-born baby in her arms.

Helen is getting ready to leave, telling Henry that they have to pick up Frank as well as Keira. Jack has been sitting at the front door for twenty minutes, and Henry is nearly ready. Henry has lots of warm layers on, and gloves, and a torch. Sindhu and her big sister are going to meet them there, and they are definitely allowed up on the course without a grown-up. She assures him it's all paid for, they don't need any money, and the tickets are downloaded and on his phone. He is wearing his new trainers, and Helen isn't happy about that but then remembers not to make a fuss and apologises: it's his choice. He's still unsure: he wants to go, but he's just a bit worried. Me too, says Helen, at once making it about her; but there's no real reason to be worried, it's just that they've been half looking over their shoulders for so long, they've got used to waiting for something bad to happen. They've got into the habit. Because of Rob, Henry mutters bitterly, and Helen says yes, it didn't matter if he was in a flat down the road or in America, she always felt he might step out in front of her at any moment. And because of that she supposes she's been over-protective. Henry excuses that on the grounds that it was only because she had to, but she says that now she doesn't need to, and Henry doesn't have to be worried that something will go wrong. But it might, he points out, and she agrees that there is always that possibility but how often does worrying help? They just have to work out ways to cope if things veer off-plan. Like ringing Grandad, says Henry, and explains their agreement; Helen says that is good forward planning. She loves thinking of him whizzing through the night on a zip-wire: how great is that? They need to get used to grabbing life with both hands. Let's go, says Henry.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 3rd January, 2024

Champion is podgy, and Brad has a surprise up his sleeve.

Characters: Alice, Chris, Lilian, Brad, Tracy, Chelsea, Jakob
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Chris bumps into Alice, who is being treated to lunch at The Bull by Lilian; she is surprised to see him there mid-week. He has left Martha with Susan, who is taking her to the Darrington pantomime in her Princess dress. It occurs to Chris that if Alice plans to take Martha to see Champion tomorrow, he could drop her riding gear over to The Stables later; Alice is delighted at the idea of getting Martha used to wearing the hat and sitting up in the saddle, and thinks she might like grooming him too. She then suggests Chris might join them for some lunch, but he has stuff to be getting on with at the forge. As he is about to leave Lilian arrives, late because of traffic after clothes-shopping in Borchester with Kate. Shula has rung her; she has decided to stick with the partnership, but Lilian got the distinct impression this was very much her last chance. Alice says 'Oh dear', but Lilian seems unconcerned and asks after her scrumptious little pumpkin of a great-niece; Alice says she is naughty at the same time that Chris says she is funny, and Lilian cackles and says she's just like her great-aunt Lilian. She offers to buy them both a drink, and when Chris says he has to leave insists that he must look at some photos she has taken of Champion, describing the pony as a wonderful, generous Christmas present; Alice adds that he is a Christmas present that should have been discussed with Mummy first. Maybe next week she'll buy Martha a motor-bike without asking Chris how he feels about it; Chris, unabashed, counters that it sounds super-cool and he bets Martha would love it.

Mum's folding the clothes and Brad is washing up; he wants to know what Chelsea is doing. Tracy says she can dry up, though Chelsea says they could let them drip dry; Brad reckons there is not enough room on the draining board, so she asks to be handed the tea-towel, then wants to know why they even have a tea-towel from Cleethorpes and where that is anyway. Tracy tells them she once had the greatest fish and chips of her life on Cleethorpes beach, but won't tell Chelsea who with. To distract her daughter she asks Brad what the Grundys are going to do for Mia's eighteenth birthday; he doesn't think they've got anything planned, and Emma and Will are worrying about it. Will was asking Brad for ideas but he wasn't much use; all he knows is that she doesn't want a big party. Tracy suggests the adventure experience Keira went on with Henry; Brad thinks Mia's not that bothered about doing anything, and he's not sure who she'd invite. This gives Chelsea a chance to get a dig in about Mia having no mates: Mia's idea of a good time is to go on a march with a load of people she doesn't know, block a road and shout about something. Tracy breaks up the impending squabble by saying that everything is folded and if they want anything ironed they can do it themselves. She then wants to know if Mia has asked for anything special; Andrew is getting her a new bike and Will's got her some vegan boots she found on line, but Brad bemoans the fact that she is so hard to buy for. Will wants to get her something that will really light up her face, and Tracy tells him that his present is going to do that. Brad says that when he told Will about it he reckons Will wished he'd thought of it himself, and Tracy doesn't blame Will for being a bit envious: it's absolutely brilliant.

Champion is getting a lot of fuss and admiration from Alice and Lilian, with Chris in attendance; he has turned up with Martha's kit for tomorrow. When she is told the plan, Lilian suggests that Martha's hat and boots could be kept in the tack-room to make things easier. Chris asks if Alice wants Susan to bring Martha straight there in the morning and Alice is greatly in favour; or Chris could bring her, and he would really like to be there for her first lesson. Lilian then realises that Champion has some extra weight under his fluffy coat, and Alice agrees though she thinks that wouldn't be unusual if he hasn't been ridden much. Jakob, appearing in a convenient way, is called on for an expert opinion, and agrees with Lilian that by the looks of it Champion is carrying too much weight. Chris asks if it is much of a problem and is told that it can lead to foot problems [which as a farrier he damn' well ought to know! Chris & Gus] especially in Shetlands. Alice is sure some more exercise will do the trick and starts to plan how to arrange for him to have that: she could take him out hacking with her, on a lead rein. Jakob pronounces this a perfect solution, and says he will have a look at Champion in a couple of weeks; he is thanked,and breezes out again. [Leaving no clue as to why he was there in the first place; vets in Ambridge have no case-load? Chris.] Lilian tells Champion this going to be fun: pony boot-camp.

The rain is going to upset Ed, according to Tracy; he has waterlogged fields and lambing on the way. Tracy hopes the tree-surgery comes off; Ed and Emma still have to do more research into it, though it looks pretty promising and is a distraction from all the worries about the farm. Chelsea shouts to the other room offering Brad a coffee, and he tells her grandad wants one too. Tracy is very impressed with Brad's secret present for Mia; Chelsea would be 'like what on earth?' if he gave it to her but admits Mia will like it; Tracy praises it as 'so thoughtful'. When he first told her about it she wasn't sure he'd be able to pull it off but he's proved her wrong. He may be quiet but he's determined. Determined to be a moron, snorts Chelsea; Brad overhears, but Tracy defuses him by saying Chelsea was saying how perfect his present is for Mia. Grandad is watching telly; what else does he ever do, except prop up the bar at The Bull? Brad says he was watching something about micro-sustainability, which surprises Chelsea. And it got Brad thinking about what Mia would like to do for her birthday: he thinks she'd like to get involved in a local project that improved things, in a small way. As he and Chelsea start another row, this time about improving Mia's face and Chelsea's emotional age, Tracy short-circuits it by saying she thinks she's got an idea, just right for Mia.

Lilian has gone round to the vets, and after a quick foray into Kate's improved state of mind, she sets out to coerce Jakob into bringing Kate to the Dower House for dinner on Friday. She talks about the decorations coming down being a let-down, and Jakob disagrees: he finds the sudden starkness quite calming. She isn't going to let him out of it, and uses Kate needing a pick-me-up this week as a lever to force his acquiescence.

Brad objects that a fashion show isn't Mia's thing at all, and Chelsea snipes that the organic eco-vegan look she has is like the opposite of fashion; Brad thinks she looks nice, and anyway meant she hates all the waste, the feeling you have to buy something new for every party. Tracy points out that is why this is the perfect fashion show for her. Fallon is pushing for a renew fashion show [in spite of it being Lilian's idea and Jolene's plan. Chris] reusing good clothes that have been donated. So it's sustainable? Brad asks; exactly, Tracy tells him, and it saves people money at the same time. Brad thinks that might work; he can see Mia organising something like that. Chelsea cavils that it's not really a birthday treat, Brad points out that Mia wouldn't think getting her legs waxed and drinking jugs of blue alcohol in a sticky night-club was much of a treat, and Tracy, heading off her children yet again, says each to their own. Brad will ring Mia now: he's pretty sure she'll be up for it. Tracy will let them know at work. Sounds like a plan, she adds complacently.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 4th January, 2024

Martha has taken horses in aversion, and Kenton feels much the same about Mia.

Characters: Chris, Alice, Emma, Tracy, Kenton, Jolene
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Chris and Alice are chatting as he drives her to sort out a problem with Martha; she started to 'bawl her head off' when she was told she couldn't wear her princess dress to ride Champion and demanded her mother. Apparently the build-up to the pantomime yesterday was the best bit; Chris is not sure she liked it, and has heard they had to come away early with her in tears. Alice doesn't blame her: she too took a scunner to a pantomime, when she was about four, and had nightmares for weeks. As they round Lakey Hill for the fourth or fifth time [well, how long can it take in a car to get from The Nest to Ambridge View three hundred yards away? They must have gone the pretty way. Chris] Harry rings, but Alice decides to ring him back later. She describes him as being in Chris's gang anyway because of his support for Champion and saying that Alice shouldn't have been cross; Chris is unsure that he needs Harry fighting his corner. At this point Emma drives past in the other direction going at about fifty [How? Chris] and Chris says she had to fetch something from Mum for a stocktake at The Bull and probably got the full force of Martha's lungs. [OK, Ambridge View to The Bull. Narrow lane then village green, 800 yards. She wouldn't have enough road to be going fast before she had to slow back down to 30 for the village. Chris] Alice is sure Emma would forgive Martha anything, and Chris is sure that between her and Mum they've got it all in hand [so why drag Alice there too? Chris]; Martha is probably munching on toast and jam by now like nothing had happened. They arrive and go in to fetch their 'delinquent daughter', with Chris warning Alice whatever she does not to mention the panto.

Having got to The Bull without an RTI Emma is helping Tracy with the stocktaking and telling her about what a disaster the rain is for lambing: the fields are waterlogged. Ed is so worried they won't dry out in time that he isn't sleeping; maybe it's a sign to get out of farming. Emma is very keen on the prospect of tree-surgery: it's the only thing that makes her feel cheerful at all. Tracy enthuses over thinking about something new and being their own bosses; Emma cavils that Ed did think he was his own boss with his Texels, but he wasn't in control really, was he, because when you're farming you need to be sure about your land: if someone else owns it and at any moment they can sell it from underneath your feet... Tracy refrains from pointing out that the problem is flooding, not land being sold, and condoles with her that it doesn't seem fair. Tracy decides there is no hurry to do the work, and no-one will mind if they take a breather for five minutes. Emma recalls begging the teacher at school to let her tidy the stock-cupboard so she didn't have to go outside; Tracy used to hide with her mates in the art store to have a sneaky smoke until one day a teacher caught them. Emma speculates about Kenton bursting in and giving them detention for chatting. He's in a good mood because his 'dry not dreary' idea for January is going well: they've even had a hen party in drinking mocktails. And then there's the 'renew' fashion show to look forward to: Brad texted Tracy to say Mia's well up for it, which Emma regards as brilliant; they all wish they had thought of it themselves. Tracy says it just came to her: the things Fallon was saying about re-using clothes, it's right up Mia's street and she can be a real help to them and take a lot of the work off their hands. Emma wants to go and let Kenton and Jolene know.

Alice is unsaddling Champion, and Chris is worrying because Martha took one look at him and started to howl, hated every minute of her time with him, and had to be taken away to the office by Lilian. Alice thinks that's pretty normal for children her age, two. [Or as the calendar would have it, nearly three. Chris.] The best thing they can do is seem unfazed by it, like Champion. Maybe they should leave it a week or two before they bring her to see him again, and not push too hard. Chris is apologetic and downcast: he thought Martha would be like a mini-Alice, horse-mad, and instead they've got an overweight pony and a child who refuses to ride him. Alice is not particularly concerned, and Chris thanks her for being nice about his stupid, impulsive present. Lilian texts Chris to tell him Martha has fallen asleep in her buggy; Alice takes this as a chance to get something to eat, since she had no breakfast. Nor had Chris, who suggests that since Martha is asleep the three of them could go for an early lunch at The Bull. Alice eagerly agrees, saying she'll be ready in about five minutes. She must give Harry a quick ring, though: Auntie Lilian has invited them to dinner tomorrow night and she needs to check he'll be OK with that. It's going to be a big party. Chris says it sounds great

Kenton is starting to think they should never have launched the 'longest drinker' competition: he feels that Neville and Bert are in danger of becoming serious bar-blockers. Emma reckons they should at least get a story about it in The Borchester Echo. Tracy doesn't want to influence the judges, but if Bert doesn't win he's going to be unbearable. Kenton and Jolene congratulate themselves about the success of 'dry not dreary' and Emma says they should do it every year and make it a 'Thing' and get folks coming in from further afield: Jolene things that a good idea, and they could make a virtue of the fact they won't end up over the limit. [Is this the first time the limit has ever been mentioned in relation to drinking in The Bull? Chris.] When Jolene's phone starts to ring she realises it's Fallon about the fashion show and goes to answer it; Tracy says they wanted to talk to her and Kenton about that. When Jolene has gone off talking about a catwalk sounding great, Kenton complains that she spent half of yesterday in the tea-room discussing plans with Fallon and you'd think they were organising London Fashion Week the amount of time it's taking up. Emma tells him that she and Tracy have some good news on that front: Tracy breaks in to tell him they have someone keen to help out. Initially enthused by their glowing description of her as young, full of energy and ideas, and committed to community projects that help the environment, Kenton reacts with horror when her name is mentioned; no, no, no, no, no! Mia Grundy is a trouble-maker. Emma tries to argue that she's not, just passionate about certain issues, and Kenton says patiently that he applauds her spirit and high ideals but they are trying to keep a pub open, not provide a platform for Mia's activism. When Jolene gets back will they tell her he's gone to change a barrel? Emma asks if that is a no, and he parting word is 'Emphatically!' Emma remarks crossly that someone got out of bed on the wrong side this morning, forgetting she mentioned earlier what a good mood he was in. Tracy can't believe he said no: what on earth is she going to tell Brad?

In another part of The Bull Alice is telling Chris and Emma all about her excitement over the arrival of Spearmint when she was about fifteen; Chris suggests that perhaps Martha has clocked that both her parents work with horses and is rebelling. Maybe she'll want a job in embroidery or something. Alice worries that if she is this strong-willed now, they're in for trouble when she's a teenager, and Chris reckons that if she's anything like Alice's Kate or Our Emma they'll have to be prepared for feisty at the very least. Emma remarks that she is there, and Alice says Martha is very lucky to have such great rôle models as aunts. Emma says that it looks like that riding lesson did the trick, since Martha is out for the count now, and Alice tells her the riding lesson consisted of Martha screaming 'No horsey! No horsey!' Emma is sympathetic, and then realises that she might have an idea what this is about. Neil told her that when he and Susan took Martha to the pantomime they had to walk past the horse getting ready, and the fellow at the front was holding the horse's head in his hands. Alice exclaims, and then says that Martha basically saw a decapitated horse with two humans standing inside its skin, and Chris remarks that is freaky. Emma says that was why they left early, because when the horse came on stage everyone was laughing except Martha, who was sobbing 'no horsey, no horsey.' Alice supposes that explains it: if she thought two strange men were going to jump out of her cute pony, she'd be terrified too.

Having got a definite answer from Kenton, Tracy now approaches Jolene about the fashion show, but is interrupted by Kenton, who tells her that if she is talking about what they discussed earlier he has already told Jolene it's a no. Tracy is cross because she hasn't had a chance to put her argument and he tells her that it isn't a democracy and they're not having a referendum: he gets to decide. Jolene at once points out that he means 'we' get to decide. He confusedly says that she agrees with him: we agreed having Mia involved is likely to create more work and she is bound to upset people. Tracy tells him he's wrong because Mia is already massively on board with their concept, the whole eco thing, so it's brilliant. Jolene agrees with her, which Kenton finds hard to credit: he enumerates Mia's various recent poor behaviours and adds her attitude of disrespect for just about anything as soon as she thinks she has a Cause:she is outspoken, extremely intense and she puts people off. Jolene suggests that she might bring in a younger crowd from college and asks 'my darlin' (Kenton) whether they give her a chance. Kenton, for the record, thinks she is a loose cannon; Jolene decides she will sleep on it, have a word with Fallon, and give them an answer in the morning.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 5th January, 2024

The shark is jumped in the most implausible storyline to date, with unfunny 'comic' interludes.

Characters: Helen, Eddie, Jolene, Tracy, Brad, Oliver, Joy
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

When Helen serves Eddie in the Bridge Farm shop he asks if she has any plans for the evening; she tells him Joy Horville is coming round. Eddie thinks it kind of Helen to invite her over but is swiftly put right about that: Joy is the kind one. Eddie then hopes two thousand and twenty-four is really smashing for her and the boys, because they deserve a good one. She thanks him but doesn't reciprocate, instead telling him that Henry and Jack are over at Lee's tonight; they discuss the ages of various younger people, and how the passage of time is uneven, and Eddie rather gloomily wonders where they'll be this time next year. Helen asks if there is any news yet on the ten acres that was sold and Eddie, as one speaking of a death in the family, says 'No.' He is sick of worrying about it, and is trying to believe it will turn out all right. Clarrie has told Helen about Ed and Emma's tree-surgery idea, and Eddie has his fingers crossed for that. Eddie is then summoned by Oliver on the telephone, and leaves.

At The Bull Jolene is teaching Tracy how to make a Kenton-Archer-style Virgin Mojito, and Tracy is bemoaning the lack of a 'proper winter' but saying if she could be somewhere else it would be the Italian Riviera; this surprises Jolene, who had her down as more of a Magaluf girl. Tracy, who has never been there, extols the Ideal of Riviera [from about 1974. Chris], after which Jolene wonders at Bert and Neville not being in yet, and Tracy informs her Neville is laid up with a stomach-bug and Bert is trying to persuade Brad to come over with him. Jolene approves Tracy's handiwork and suggests that Kenton now has a rival; she has to nip down to the cellar, but if Tracy makes another of them she will join her for a happy hour mocktail before the crowds come in. Maybe they can talk about Mia? asks Tracy; no need, Jolene has made up her mind and is happy to give Mia a go. Any sign of trouble, though, and it is on Tracy's head. Brad then comes over to the bar, and asks about the fashion show and Mia; Tracy gives him the good news about Jolene's decision. He's delighted and says he will thank Jolene, who won't regret it: Mia will be perfect for it.

When he finds Oliver, Eddie asks him what he wants to talk about, and the answer is that the surveyor came over and Oliver wants to show Eddie, on the plans, where he took her and what she said. She measured the land again and asked some questions about the adjoining waterlogged field, which didn't seem to worry her, and asked about the derelict barn. which it is obvious they are going to develop. Before he can answer Eddie's question, 'what for?', he gets a message on his phone which makes him say 'oh dear' and in reply to Eddie's anxious question say that actually he is not OK; he invites Eddie to look at who the email is from. Eddie can't believe it. When Oliver asks him what on earth he does now, Eddie asks if it is too late to back out; Oliver is afraid it is. What has he done? Eddie thinks he has to tell 'her', and quick, before she hears it from someone else.

It is evening, and Helen and Joy are having a nice gossip together about the past week, and Helen asks if Joy is missing Mick; Joy definitely is, but still hasn't managed to decide if they should move in together. Mick is nice and she likes him a lot, but she's still not really sure she is ready. The silly thing is, she's worrying about the idea and she doesn't even know if it's crossed Mick's mind; Helen suggests that she stays as she is for now, if it works for both of them. Joy says it does: she likes having her own space, and she likes seeing Mick and all, but she just thinks sometimes it might be her past holding her back. A bad experience? asks Helen tentatively; Joy just wants to say she's been hurt before. Helen agrees that's a reason to be cautious, but shouldn't be an excuse not to do things that make you happy; Joy feels that maybe she just needs a bit more time. They have another glass of wine, and Joy speaks of how lovely people have been to her over the holiday: Christmas Day at The Stables, and then Boxing Day at Brookfield and then a super evening on Monday with Brian and Kate; Helen says she is the only person she knows who would describe an evening with Brian and Kate as 'super'. [Preferable to an evening spent with you, you self-obsessed nutjob. Gus.]

Jolene refuses to serve beer to Brad, even knowing perfectly well it is for Bert, so instead of taking a pint over to Bert herself or getting Tracy to do so she serves Brad a pint of orange squash for him. [I think this was meant to be funny, rather than just extremely stupid of her. Chris.] Prompted by Tracy, he thanks Jolene for giving Mia a chance; she will be a great help and she loves all the ideas Jolene and Fallon have had, like using local models to reduce the carbon footprint. Jolene just hopes she channels that excitement into the right things. They need it to be a warm, welcoming community night. Brad assures her Mia is really up for that; Jolene tells him that if she can get their punters as fired up as she's got him they won't regret having her on the team. She then sends him off with a full pint of orange squash for Bert, on the house. Tracy thinks this extremely funny. She then tells Jolene he's a good lad, and Jolene agrees, adding that he and Mia are adorable together.

According to a message from Henry, he and Jack are having a great time eating birthday cake and playing endless hours of video games, and Joy thinks it's nice how they are all getting on. Even though Lee wasn't right for Helen he has proved a godsend for the boys; Helen says that's why she won't ever regret what they had. Joy asks how she is feeling about everything else, and Helen tells her it was Rob's funeral today; Miles told her the date, over Christmas, but she didn't tell anyone else and tried not to think of it, keeping busy with work and the boys – and it almost worked, she sighs. But when Joy says you can't really block things away, they have a habit of coming through, she agrees but adds that is OK because it's part of the healing. She is learning to accept what has been, absorb it, and then come back to the present. Having Joy there has really helped, tonight. Helen thinks that it feels like a final release from him. When Joy suggests 'an unburdening' she leaps on the word: that's it exactly. What's more, it's Spring and the world carries on. This new-found calm is about to be tested: the doorbell rings, heralding a fraught Oliver there to tell Helen who has bought his land. He has finally been contacted by the new owner; he takes full responsibility for the decision to sell, but had no idea who had bought it. The ten acres has been purchased by 'the Titchener family', at Rob's specific request. Helen's tranquillity vanishes in the furious word 'What!?' and Joy asks if it's true: Oliver is afraid so. It seems that Miles Titchener will be in charge of things going forward. Joy, reasonably, wonders why; Helen's answer is 'control.' Joy suggests she should sit down, but Helen refuses to and says she is fine, though Joy can see she is looking pale; Helen can't believe it. This is what he always wanted: that even after he was gone there would be no escape from him.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 7th January, 2024

Nothing is so bad that Helen can't make it worse, and Brad looks at a change of job.

Characters: Helen, Tony, Oliver, Chelsea, Brad
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Meeting Tony covered in mud, Helen asks what happened to him, and when told that he slipped while feeding extra silage to the cattle in Long Meadow volunteers Tom [but not herself. Chris] to help him. He is more concerned about how she is getting on; she claims to be fine, and to need to get home because Henry is having a few friends over for the last chance at some holiday fun before school starts tomorrow. She refuses to discuss why Miles has bought the land: Miles can do what he likes, and it is nothing to do with her. When Oliver comes up and also wants to talk to her she has no time for him, but rushes away with a small bit of advice: this batch of Sterling Gold is particularly good and he should get some. This leaves Oliver with Tony, who breaks into his attempt to excuse having 'ambushed' Helen on Friday about Miles' purchase by saying it has started to rain, and invites Oliver into his workshop where they can talk in the dry.

There has been a change of management at the Orangery, and Brad is not happy about it; Chelsea is not helping his mood by being antagonistic about Mia's helping with the fashion show. Brad wants to know if she plans to help him with a bill rather than slag off his girlfriend, since she is the one Connor asked to do it – Connor being the new boss. She points out that she is not the maths genius, and the customer's already got a right face on: Connor is going to be really narked if Chelsea messes up her refund as well. Brad doesn't get why she is so keen to impress him, and she says because he is the new boss and now Maddy's gone to work at Grey Gables, Chelsea might be in the running for her job. She was never going to get promoted while Trent was still manager. She then indulges in some prurient gossip about Trent, who has also left for Grey Gables, and Maddy; Brad is not interested. He wasn't even down for a shift today but was meant to be seeing Mia, and he also has academic work to do. He couldn't turn the work down because he reckons Connor hates him; Chelsea tells him that at least he gets to finish soon, and she is on till five.

Oliver is castigating himself for the consternation he has caused; Tony firmly tells him that it's not his fault, because he didn't know who the buyer was. It's not just who the buyer is, Oliver tells him: it's causing problems for Ed as well, because the dryer land he used for lambing is gone. He asks after Helen, saying she obviously doesn't want to talk to him, and Tony assures him that she's fine; Miles is no Rob, and whatever he's planning to do with that land it will be nothing compared to what she's been through already. Tony's fear is that he will convert the barn so that he or his dad has a place there to try and get their claws into Jack. Oliver knows that's not what is planned but is not sure it's his place to say: it's just something he gleaned when he spoke to Miles yesterday. Tony wants to know what it is.

Brad indignantly protests that he thought Leona was meant to be doing the rest of her shift, and it's not his fault she hasn't been able to find anyone to look after her little girl, but Chelsea has promised Connor she'd get him to stay and grabs him by the arm when he tries to leave. He is very reluctant, but Chelsea bribes him by promising to help Mia find models for the fashion show, from her college group.

With a sort of inevitability Tony has taken on the job of telling Helen what Miles is up to; when he goes round to Beechwood Henry and his pals are in the living-room, and Jack is keeping out of their way by being at Logan's. Helen assumes he wants to talk about Pat's birthday tea, and he has to explain that's not it and he needs to talk to her about something else. Oliver spoke to Miles yesterday and Miles mentioned to him that the land is for Jack. Helen seems not to understand, or not to want to, and Tony ploughs on: it's his inheritance. Rob instructed Miles to buy land in Ambridge for him. Helen doesn't understand: why hasn't she heard anything? Tony isn't sure and suggests that maybe the will is still going through probate, but Oliver got the impression that when Miles saw the land up for sale he jumped at it. Helen knows the guide price was something like five hundred thousand, but Tony has no idea what Miles ended up paying, but it's just for Jack, no mention of Henry. Helen says she had better call Miles: she needs to know exactly what is going on. Tony wants to do it for her, but she is determined.

Oliver greets Brad at Grange Farm and gets him quickly in out of the rain, telling him that he'll find Mia in the dining-room. Oliver is surprised that he is wearing his uniform; Brad says that he has come straight from Lower Loxley and wasn't meant to be working today but got called in for a shift. He was meant to finish at half-two, but then they needed him to stay to the end, and he's going to be up all night doing work for college. He didn't want to let Mia down though. It's been a rubbish day; working at The Orangery was so much better when Trent was in charge. Oliver speaks highly of Trent as a genial manager, and Brad wishes he were working at Grey Gables too then. Oliver pricks up his ears and suggests that if he is serious they need people in casual positions: Brad asks what kind of jobs and is told waiting, pot-washing, portering; he'd have to apply and be interviewed, but if he is really not enjoying himself at The Orangery Oliver is sure they could find a place for him.

Helen has discovered that the land is being put in trust for Jack with Miles as trustee. He'll inherit when he turns twenty-one. Tony, aghast, asks what about Henry, and Helen tells him, 'not a penny'. Rob has done this deliberately, Helen says: not just because Henry's not his son, though he was adamant about wanting to adopt him [he wasn't and didn't: he wanted Parental Responsibilty, which didn't involve anyone asking questions about Rob. Chris] and went on and on about how he thought of Henry as his own flesh and blood. It's all about control. It's because Henry rejected him after Rob lured him to the County Show, and this is his revenge: to drive a wedge between Henry and Jack. Tony tries in vain to calm her down, but has to admit she is probably right. Helen wonders if Rob thought it would absolve him somehow, and she'd be grateful he left Jack so much capital. Tony argues that Henry will still have his loving family and the farm, but Helen is not to be consoled: he will have to watch his brother get this step up in life while he has been overlooked. Tony thinks that is not for ages yet, but Helen decides that the right thing to do is tell Henry tonight.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 8th January, 2024

Tom is incensed, Helen bullies Henry, and Denise tries to dictate to her boss.

Characters: Natasha, Tom, Paul, Alistair, Denise, Helen, Henry
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Natasha has sought out Tom, who is hard at work composting the beds in the drizzle, ostensibly to bring him a flask of soup but really to talk with him about how Helen is (she doesn't want to talk about it, according to Tom, but 'she's got to be furious') and then to postulate how things could be worse, which leads Tom to rant against Rob. Having wound him up, while claiming not to want to, she heads back inside out of the rain.

At the vets' Paul is waiting for a staff meeting with Alistair and Denise but no Jakob. He pesters Denise about non-work activity and giggles at her until she gives up trying to process an insurance claim. She is worried in case nobody turns up for her 'dance-fit' session in the church on Thursday, and Paul suggesting music is not particularly helpful. He also suggests dragging Dad along for moral support, which doesn't go down well with Denise. Paul keeps on talking about this even after Alistair gets back from something he had to do before starting, but does shut up and allow Alistair to tell them what it is about. Alistair tells them he has received an email from head office, which essentially says that now the practice has expanded they need to do all they can to increase their revenue. Denise recognises this, and utters a heart-felt 'oh, no'; Paul asks how they are supposed to do that when the reason Denise came back is because they've already got too many clients. Denise tells him that isn't what they are talking about, and Alistair explains that they don't expect them to treat more animals, but to flog more stuff to their owners.

After school, Henry is absolutely not interested in discussing Rob's legacy to Jack, while Helen is determined to make him talk about it. He is driven to tell her in exasperation that Rob wasn't his dad and he doesn't care about Jack inheriting land, but that is not good enough; luckily for him Natasha interrupts the session and Helen has to let him go to help Tony in the workshop. Natasha's excuse for wanting Helen is that she has noticed that the signs on the juices haven't been changed and today is when the Summer Orchard promotion was meant to start; it is clear that what she really wants Helen to do is much what Helen wants Henry to do, talk about Rob and his will and How Helen Feels and how Henry is. Helen doesn't know how Henry is really, because he is very good at putting on a brave face; maybe it is just her expecting him to feel the same as she does about what's happened. Maybe she's projecting; that's what her therapist is going to tell her. Natasha remembers that it is her first session this week, and asks how she is feeling about it; Helen wishes she knew. She did have therapy years ago for her eating disorder, but quite a lot has happened since then. Natasha suggests nipping over to the tea-room: the juice promotion can wait.

Alistair is reading out instructional guff about sales promotion, and Denise is unimpressed: they already know what their clients' desires are, they desire their pets to be healthy. Paul giggles and tells her to let Alistair finish. What it amounts to is that they need to coax clients away from the supermarkets and big pet stores. Head office is sending them new display equipment later this week to improve their point of sale. Paul thinks it is amazing, and immediately starts to plan a sales campaign in line with his once having worked in a department store; Denise points out that they are not a department store but a small vets' surgery; Lovell James did this when she was over at Abberley Green and every week they'd give them new targets to meet. Alistair protests that they haven't mentioned anything about targets, and she assures him that's what will be next: she hated it. Paul tells her to come on and not freak: you just have to have confidence. Alistair breaks in to say they, as vet nurses, are 'key to cultivating and maintaining new customer relationships.' Denise objects that as a trained veterinary nurse she is there to care for the animals, and the argument between them becomes a little heated; when Paul tries to intervene on Alistair's side Denise finally puts him in his place and he apologises. She tells them she was really looking forward to coming back to Ambridge, but if she'd known it would be like this she might not have done.

When Natasha says she is so pleased Helen is getting therapy Helen laughingly asks whether she thinks she needs it, and Natasha has to deflect and deny [good one, Helen. Chris] and say that she thinks it will be good for Helen: she knows it was good for her. Helen expresses surprise that she used to have therapy, and is told about Natasha's past problems with anxiety and panic attacks, which all went back to her dad: she loves him to bits, but growing up with someone bipolar, not ever knowing what kind of mood he'd be in, was tough. Helen knows it's not the same, but she has similar worries about Henry [has she just admitted that she is mad as a box of frogs? Chris] long-term: who knows how everything will affect him? Tentatively, Natasha asks if she's thought of taking him to see someone; she says she has spoken to him. Also his school, in the person of Mr Reed his head of year, has offered him counselling, but Henry wasn't interested. Natasha suggests broaching it with him again. Helen thinks that an idea: she knows that Rob dying has played a big part in her deciding to get help. Natasha is sympathetic. Helen explains that after her initial fury, she has calmed down a bit [pity she put it all on Henry before that, isn't it. Chris] and decided that Rob's objective was to set Jack against Henry, but it's not going to work: those boys are Archers and will be raised as Archers, and they may even share the land. Helen is not going to let it take her backwards. [Ah, we are on track again: it's all about Helen really. Chris.] Tom has burst in loudly but unnoticed, and now accuses the pair of skiving while he is slaving away and doesn't believe they are checking the quality of the coffee. After Helen has left Natasha chides him for being a martyr and says he ought to be pleased: Helen is sounding really determined not to let this nonsense with the land get her down, and they shouldn't either. Tom claims that he is not, just angry, and Natasha points out that's not going to change anything; maybe they should try to turn it into a positive instead. Her attempts to put a positive spin on it by suggesting that they might be able to make some use of the land for their own purposes just make him dig in his heels: no! He can see where she is heading, and he means it; that is Titchener land and he doesn't want anything to do with it.

Helen is having another go at manipulating Henry into right-think, having run him to earth in Tony's workshop. She tells him that she knows he says he is OK, but if he did feel he needed to talk... He gives vent to an exasperated sigh, and she tells him there is nothing to be ashamed about; if he feels angry or jealous (he tells her he doesn't) it would be perfectly understandable... he finally loses it and shouts, wanting to know how many times? Jack can have that land! He doesn't care! He doesn't want anything from That Man anyway! Helen says 'all right, all right' as to someone utterly unreasonable and explains that she is just saying, Mr Reed said school could arrange counselling if that's what he wanted. And if there is stuff he can't say to her, he could talk to someone else. Beaten down, he simply says 'OK' and when she asks whether that means OK he understands or OK he's going to speak to Mr Reed, he cries out that he means OK, he gets it! He doesn't need to though, just because she's freaking out about it. Reproachfully, she utters his name, but he's not giving way: he told her, he's fine, he reiterates as he leaves.

A cat called Milo which has had an operation is about to be returned to his owner, and Alistair takes the opportunity to speak with Denise unattended by Paul. He wants to assure that he too is not keen on this big sales push, which surprises her; she is so glad he has said it. She wasn't joking about Abberley Green: he wouldn't believe the tat they were expected to sell. They joke for a minute about the tat in question, until Alistair remarks that they don't have a choice about it, and Denise realises that he is still going along with it. She expects him to tell them no, that they are a vets not a pet store. He tells her he can't because he is not entirely in charge: he thought she understood that, and he could do with her support. When she says it was the worst thing about working at Abberley Green and she doesn't want to do it in Ambridge, he tells her that it's not going to be up for discussion. She asks if he is ordering her, and he informs her that he is her boss, so she tells him that she's not doing it and he can't make her.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 9th January, 2024

Elizabeth worries about staff leaving, and Alistair tussles with one who has just arrived.

Characters: Lily, Elizabeth, Lilian, Alistair, Denise, Chelsea
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

At Lower Loxley, Lily arrives just as Veronica (the shop manager) finishes handing in her notice: she is off to be a receptionist at Grey Gables. Lily is only there to collect some of her old clothing for the 'renew' show at The Bull, but when Elizabeth is forlorn about her not being able to stay for lunch because Chelsea is coming over to do her hair, she does stay for a bit to chat. She suggests promoting Freya into Veronica's place, since she practically runs the shop anyway, but Elizabeth just can't help worrying: what with Veronica, and Trent, and Maddy, and Theresa, Elizabeth is starting to feel that Grey Gables is poaching all their staff; she can't afford to raise wages and try to compete with them. Lily is surprised about Theresa, who loves Lower Loxley Hall and takes immense care over the antiques.

The dog Ruby has strained one leg and doesn't want to put weight on it, so Lilian has brought her to be checked by Alistair. While she is there Denise comes in and Lilian greets her effusively; Alistair is rather more cool. Despite having firmly insisted she is not the receptionist, Denise tells him that Mr Jenks has been on the phone again about Tinkerbell and wants him to ring back, and it needs to be before one because he has a domino tournament to get to. Alistair agrees that he will call him when he gets a moment. Whilst Alistair continues to examine Ruby, Lilian talks with Denise about the 'dance-fit' classes Denise is running at the church, eventually agreeing she might come along to them, and then about Peggy having moved into The Laurels taking Hilda with her, until Alistair rather forbiddingly asks Denise whether there was anything else, and she shuts up and leaves.

Being a model for the 'renew' show is something Lily is not prepared to do even when blandished by Chelsea: she did that once before, for a fashion show at college, and really didn't enjoy it at all. Since she makes the mistake of admitting she was involved in organising that show, she finds herself having been volunteered to give Mia tips about the whole business, and even choreographing it for her, which comes as something of a surprise to her. Chelsea gets back to hairdressing: is it balayage that Lily wants for her highlights? It is indeed, but not too extreme: she would like it to be like a natural sun-kissed look. Chelsea sets to. Lily asks how things are at The Orangery and what the new manager is like, and Chelsea is flattering [she's hardly going to bad-mouth him to the boss's daughter, Lily! Chris] and says he is great. Lily is glad she's not thinking of defecting to Grey Gables, since she hears they've poached quite a few staff; not her, says Chelsea, she loves working at Lower Loxley and would never dream of leaving. Lily is relieved. Chelsea seems about to say something else, but then changes her mind and mentions positions that need filling, better paid positions, and maybe Lily could put a word in for Chelsea with her mum? Hastily, Lily says she avoids getting too involved with the business these days, then tries for a favour: if Chelsea did happen to hear of any other staff members thinking of leaving, that would be useful to know. [Oh, good grief, Lily: you refuse to do her a favour and then ask her to do you one. Why would she want to at this point? Chris.]

Alistair is confident there is nothing too much the matter with Ruby, but is not going to let Lilian leave without her buying something. When he tries to involve Denise, she rudely rebuffs him by saying she has work to do, and then point blank refuses to show Lilian the dog-food when he asks her to. They have a very politely-phrased but acrimonious row in front of Lilian, and Alistair, who doesn't have another patient 'until ten past', ends up doing the selling job.

Chelsea swears that no-one has told her they want to leave, and if they do Lily will be the first to know. Lily does some insincere flattering about how popular Chelsea is 'with the staff' [not the way to endear yourself to one of those staff, I wouldn't have thought. Chris] and Chelsea fairly rapidly changes the subject to Lily's hair. Whilst they wait for it to dry Chelsea catches sight of the bag of clothes Lily is donating, and asks to see them; Lily says they are hers and Paul's since he's donated some stuff too, and Chelsea, squeaking excitedly, starts to rummage. She is flattering about a leather jacket and a jumpsuit, then scathing about a shirt, which she thinks is Paul's; it isn't and she tries to cover her mistake by saying she was only rude about it because of how she thought it would look on Paul. It's hard to say whether Lily is taken in or not.

When Alistair has trouble finding the right dog-food, 'for active mobility', Denise of course knows exactly where it is, and when he tries to get it down without her help, naturally an avalanche of dog-food falls on him. Denise also knows all about the price and the loyalty card, and offers to sign Lilian up for the card. Lilian says she can see why Alistair wanted her to do the selling, since she is far better at it, and Alistair agrees heartily, with the result that Denise forbiddingly tells him not to even try it; Lilian finally works out something is wrong when Denise and Alistair explain they are being encouraged to increase sales and Denise wants no part of it. Lilian suggests that there is nothing wrong with trying to make more money, so long as it's in the interests of the customer, and she would much rather buy Ruby's food from people she trusts. Denise would rather spend her time looking after the animals, to which Lilian, unruffled, tells her that what they ought to do is hold puppy parties for new owners: you give them all the advice they need about how to look after their four-leggéd friends and establish an ongoing customer relationship. Alistair and Denise are much struck by this idea, neither of them having been in the vet business at any time during the past twenty years when these have been common practice.

As Lily and Chelsea part, profuse thanks are being proffered for the hair-styling, and perhaps slightly less sincere apologies for the mistake about the shirt; Chelsea agrees to keep her ear to the ground, and if there are any whispers she will let Lily know. As soon as Chelsea is out of earshot, Lily gets on the phone to Elizabeth to tell her Chelsea has heard nothing about anyone else wanting to leave. Lily sniffs at Chelsea as nattering to everyone, and Elizabeth discounts her slightly her on the grounds of not being sure how much they can rely on her, since she gets on with the people at The Orangery, but more senior staff like Glen or Alex aren't going to tell a member of the waiting staff if they are toying with a move. Or indeed if they are being head-hunted, adds Elizabeth ominously. Lily is surprised into asking if she thinks Grey Gables are actively head-hunting people; Elizabeth says that she doesn't know, but they must be doing something special to tempt them. Lower Loxley might need to up its game.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 10th January, 2024

Therapy is the answer to everything except work placement.

Characters: Helen, Natasha, Henry, Oliver, Lily, Mr Reed
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

As Helen is trying to get Henry to get off in time for the school bus Natasha rings her to wish her luck and offering to give her a lift to her appointment with the therapist; Helen refuses her offer, and then cuts her off to order Henry to sign the birthday card for Pat, which since he has just been told he will miss the bus if he doesn't leave at once clearly irritates him. She then increases his annoyance by asking him whether he has his PE kit, which since he has just told her he has got everything makes him cross enough to ask whether she ever listens, or does she just like being a pain in the backside? She is outraged that he has spoken to her like that, even though he instantly apologises, and makes no secret of it. After a very little of this he first points out that he has said sorry, and then that he is going to miss the bus, and makes his escape.

Accompanied by the sound of a horse trotting down a road, Oliver encounters Lily; she is off to get some bread from the shop because Josh and Paul have finished it and she wants to have toast while she is revising. Oliver says he won't hold her up: he has to return the horse, Duke, to his stable and then get to work. Lily snidely remarks that she was going to ask whether he shouldn't be busy poaching more Lower Loxley staff, then when he is at a loss how to answer this impertinence tells him that she was teasing and if anything it is a compliment: they must rate Lower Loxley staff very highly. Oliver assures her that it is not deliberate; he wasn't even aware they had recruited Veronica until Roy informed him. Lily kindly tells him that it's up to them if they decide to move, a view he dryly endorses before asking her whether term has started. She tells him she has an exam tomorrow, on business, property finance and taxation. He is suitably impressed with such heavy stuff, giving her the opportunity to tell him it's one of her favourite modules so far and she's been learning loads about investment and project management; he jokingly suggests that maybe they should recruit her to Grey Gables, before going on his way leaving her thoughtful.

Mr Reed is making it clear that Henry can say as much or as little as he wants, and it seems that Henry wants to talk to someone rather than having been summoned. He has been distracted in lessons and is asked why that might be, so he explains that it's stuff that's been happening at home, to do with his old step-dad and what he has left in his will to Henry's little brother. In response to gentle probing, he reveals much of what has been going on in his life: that he doesn't care about the bequest but his mum keeps going on and on as if she expects him to be upset or angry, which he's not: should he be? Reassured that he is entitled to feel however he wants, he goes on to explain that Jack's going to inherit a load of land and though he wouldn't want it anyway – he definitely doesn't want anything from That Man, because he hates him – and he's not jealous that Jack will be rich, it's always been up to him to protect Jack ever since he was little. He remembers when Mum came home with Jack from prison and Pat said they all needed to look after both of them [good grief! What a charge to lay on a five-year-old! Chris] but Jack doesn't know that because he was a baby. And it's just not fair: at least Jack had a dad.

Later on, Oliver is at his desk at home when Lily comes to see him and proposes herself for a post at Grey Gables: she needs to do a work-placement from her course, and she thinks the hotel would be ideal. Oliver doesn't seem keen on the idea initially, and is unsure how much they would be able to teach her, but is won over by her servile enthusiasm about how what they are doing seems so exciting and modern and innovative; it fits in perfectly with everything she's been doing about project management. And she would be so incredibly grateful. And let's face it, they are benefiting from the expertise of all the Lower Loxley staff they've recruited. In spite of her flirtatious manner as she tells him she is teasing him again, he seems fairly sold on the idea of having her about. He will need to discuss it with Adil and Roy, but in the meantime she could come for a look around to make sure it's definitely a suitable work placement for her. Is she sure her mother won't have any objections? Airily, Lily says that she's sure Mum won't object at all.

A box of tissues has to be called into play, and Henry apologises for needing them. When asked if he has said any of this to his mum, who might like to hear, he protests that he can't: what would he even say? 'Hey mum, why haven't I got a dad? Why didn't you have me with someone?' He can't ask her that. Mr Reed tells him [on what authority who can say. Chris] that his mum does care about him very much and even if it hurts Mr Reed is sure she'd rather know how he really feels, and that she wants Henry to be happy. Henry wants to know why, in that case, she ended things with Lee, who was like a proper step-dad; why does Henry have to be the man of the household again? He finally had a normal boring family. It's all That Man's fault! Lee and his mum would still be together if he'd never come back. The bell rings for the end of lunch, and this session is over; when offered official counselling Henry turns it down because he would rather talk to Mr Reed.

Natasha has turned up to nosy into find out about Helen's therapy session, which Helen feels has helped her a lot – though she is unsure that Lauren, her therapist, doesn't think her rather hard work. Natasha makes all the right encouraging noises as Helen tells her about having shared her life history with Lauren, thus also making sure Natasha knows how horrible it has all been. Natasha assures her that Lauren won't have thought her a basket case: if anything she would think it amazing Helen is as sane as she is. Apparently one thing Lauren said really chimed with Helen: therapy is not just about getting over the past, it's about how you change how you deal with it. Then Henry gets home and, after politely greeting Natasha, admitting he's had a good day and asking abut Helen's, gives Helen a kiss and a hug to say hello, then asks permission to play on the games console, which Helen gives him so long as Jack, who is watching television, doesn't mind. When Helen says she loves him, he tells her that he loves her too, leaving Natasha impressed by how much better that was than his expected reply to 'how was school?' of 'All right, I suppose'. Helen wonders whether he really doesn't care about this land business, after all.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 11th January, 2024

All sorts of territory-marking and endless doubles entendres.

Characters: Paul, Denise, Alistair, Tom, Natasha
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Paul is mansplaining 'selling' to Denise, who is busy despising the entire sordid business; she also doesn't want Paul to call her 'Mum' at work. She proposes to concentrate on her puppy parties. Alistair asks whether she has thought when she would like to hold the first one, and they agree that as soon as possible would be good; she thanks him about them, saying that she is actually excited about the idea. Paul can't resist saying they will be a good opportunity to encourage the owners to buy stuff, which irritates her all over again. She announces she has to go to do her dance-fit class at the church; Alistair wishes her luck, and Paul says shame on him for not coming along. Denise tells him to leave Alistair alone, and says she wasn't expecting him to, but Paul won't leave it, bangs on about Alistair being able to dance and keeps trying to sell him on the idea of going; Denise can't think why he should, when even John isn't going to be there. After she has left, Paul continues to nag with the persistence of a four-year-old, claiming that Denise is scared stiff it's going to be a washout and saying how much she would love it if Alistair were to be there.

Natasha comes to tell Tom that she is off to Denise's dance-fit class, and then to put a proposition to him before she goes: she wants them to rent the Grange Farm land from Miles and put a share of any farming profits they make from it into a trust for Henry: that way he would get something too, and Helen might be less upset. Rob didn't want Henry to get anything, so this would spoil his plan, and that chimes in with what Helen has been saying about not letting this thing get the better of her. This is a new notion to Tom, who is not happy about putting money into Miles' pocket, but Natasha doesn't think they would be because Miles is only managing the land on behalf of Jack, so any rent they paid would be going to Jack. Rob has done this thing to mark his territory, but this way they make it their territory by taking what Rob's done and turning it into something positive. It could be really healing for the whole family. Tom is unconvinced, but she requires him to think about it.

Music and dance is in full swing at the church, and it seems that Paul's pertinacity has paid off: Alistair is there. When Denise declares a break, he apologises for having bumped into Natasha earlier, and she tells him there is no harm done. He feels that he needs to get back to running more regularly. Denise comes over and he and Natasha assure her that it's great, and Alistair compares her favourably with Sabrina Thwaite in a leotard and tells her she is doing brilliantly. She compliments him in return, and Natasha joins in the general orgy of congratulation but adds that they are in a church and shouldn't make it too saucy. Natasha then goes to get some water, leaving Denise and Alistair together. They talk rather awkwardly, and Denise says she is so glad he came.

Natasha has encountered Paul, who is flirtatious to her and wants to know if she is wearing waterproof mascara, which she is; she gives him her other top tip, tinted moisturiser, which is long-lasting and non-comedogenic, perfect for a day on the farm. She has to say though that it feels quite odd doing the class in the church, and she can't imagine that Saint Stephen would approve; Paul knows what she means but says Mum is keeping it quite tame with no hair-whips or booty drops, which makes her laugh. Natasha thinks she may just have put her foot in it with Alistair by making a silly joke about his hips not lying. Still, he and Denise seem to have got over it; they are laughing together. Paul, who has not really been paying attention, tells her he has got an important message on his phone and needs to tell Mum.

When Paul gets there he interrupts a conversation between her and Alistair in which Alistair is suggesting dance-fit puppy parties, integrated health care for dogs and their owners. Denise has just dared Alistair to suggest it to Lovell James when Paul tells her he has a message from Dad, who is on his way, which completely throws Denise; Paul says that John knows he is running late but he got held up. Denise was not expecting him there and says so; Paul tells her that she didn't ask. Paul told him that she needed his support and he will be there in ten minutes. Alistair brightly remarks that is good news and her numbers will be almost into double figures. She restarts the class, to get one more routine in before her husband arrives.

After the class, Natasha tells Denise she will definitely be coming next week and that it has been brilliant; she hasn't got a brolly and it is tipping it down, but Denise still conjures her not to get too wet. Alistair too is about to take his leave; Denise thanks him again for coming and he says how nice it was to see John and that it was good of him to turn up: he obviously knew what it meant to her. She supposes he must, though she genuinely hadn't expected him. She asks what the two of them were talking about, and is told 'weather and football', and that Alistair was admiring John's enthusiasm, the way he threw himself into the dancing; he certainly has more energy than Alistair. Denise points out that Alistair is ten years older and anyway, it's not a competition: the main point is to have fun. Alistair says that she definitely made it that, and he hopes she gets more people coming in future, but he thinks he won't come again: as she said, he's hardly a spring chicken and it's not for him. He thinks it's best if he gives it a miss.

Natasha arrives home inveighing against the rain, to find Tom in exhausted sleep on the sofa; he has finished clearing up. She will pop up to check on the girls and then have a shower, and perhaps he should put himself to bed; he asks how the dance class was. And she says it was fun. Before she goes up, Tom volunteers that he has been thinking about what she said before she left, and he can kind of see what she is getting at: by farming that land, in a way they'd be getting one over on Rob. He died thinking he'd have the last laugh, and they would be proving him wrong. The only difficulty may be getting Miles to agree; Natasha brushes that aside. Tom muses that the land would be perfect to graze the Montys on, and even has the old barn to put the parlour in, though it would take at least two years to convert it to organic. They discuss it as a useful way to increase the land available for veg; Tom thinks it makes you wish there was a hell so Rob could look up and see what they've achieved. Natasha is glad they are agreed, and is sure that the way Helen has been talking this week, she will love the idea. When does Tom think they should suggest it to the rest of the family?

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 12th January, 2024

Brad is on the move, and if Helen is not allowed to move on, she will move away.

Characters: Helen, Pat, Natasha, Tom, Tony, Oliver, Lily, Brad
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

It being her birthday tea means that Pat is to keep out of her kitchen at Bridge Farm, which Pat is very reluctant to do, so after a token protest, Helen graciously allows her to put the sandwiches on plates. Henry is upstairs with Jack playing with Tom's old Star Wars toys, and Pat is glad that he does seem more settled in spite of Helen having told him about the land. Pat thinks that at only thirteen he probably doesn't fully understand the implications, which Helen disputes: he understands, but he knows it will only make a difference if they let it. Natasha arrives as an advance party: Tom and Tony, with the sleeping twins in the buggy, are on their way across the yard. When she and Pat seem about to start talking about Jack and the land Helen sharply asks, 'Can we not? Raking it over won't change anything,' and Natasha says that the best thing to do is move forward, in reply to which Helen mentions that she saw Kate in the shop wearing a new coat, a faux Afghan one with embroidery [but presumably without the distinctive stench of damp goat. Chris] which she bought with the voucher she was given. Pat says that will please Tony, who has been feeling terrible about accidentally dumping her clothes. As Tom comes in explaining that he will do something-or-other tomorrow, Helen expatiates on the beauty of the coat. He parks the sleeping girls in the warm and Pat tells Tony, who has also come in, about the coat, which does indeed please him. Helen encourages everyone to go through to the sitting-room, including Pat, who is still trying to be allowed to help. Natasha and Tom lag behind and are told not to be long.

As they take off their boots Natasha wants to know when they are going to mention their idea; Helen was just saying before Tom came in that they need to make the best of Rob leaving that land to Jack [a flat lie; Helen was saying no such thing. Chris] and now seems the ideal time. Tom is doubtful: there's no big rush. They should at least wait until Mum has blown out her candles.

The guided tour of the refurbished Grey Gables being given to Lily by Oliver has got to the ballroom, which he excitedly tells her has acoustic tiles on the walls, a stage that can be raised or lowered or thrust out into the room, and even a 4K laser projector. Lily makes appropriately impressed noises, saying that it is unbelievable; she had never imagined that the transformation would be on this scale. She muses that they could do something like this at Lower Loxley; Oliver is not sure they are competing for the same market. Grey Gables is a handsome hotel but it can't offer the full country house experience. Lily thoughtfully agrees. Oliver wonders what else to show her: she has seen the library, the restaurant, the new public wine cellar; Lily mentions having heard something about a gallery and artists' studio, but it seems that this, like the bistro, will be opening later in the year in the old stable block. Lily seems startled to hear of the bistro: as well as the restaurant? Oliver reassures her that it will still be centred on local produce and food grown on-site, but it will be a more affordable, more casual offering. The kind of place the locals might want to drop into. [So nothing like The Orangery at all, then. Chris.] There is plenty more in the pipeline, but at the moment Oliver is focussing on their soft opening next Wednesday; after what she's seen, Lily can't imagine it being anything but a huge success. Oliver asks if that means she would still like to do her work placement there; Adil and Roy have said they're happy, he informs her, and she thanks him and says she'd love to: she thinks she could learn a lot.

At the birthday tea, photographs are being taken and all is convivial. Natasha quietly asks Tom whether they are going to say something; he is not sure and not enthusiastic, but Pat has noticed the two whispering and wants to know what it is about. Tom says 'Nothing', but Natasha tells Pat they have an idea they'd like to discuss with everyone, and although Tom immediately says 'No we haven't!' Pat, obviously, wants to know what it is.

Lily thanks Oliver for showing her round, and asks how many are going to be there for the opening; he tells her they have fifteen rooms booked, and are going to put up Lynda and Robert for the night in the Royal Garden Suite as a thank-you to her for the work she put into the original grand opening that never happened. Of course, they will also be saying farewell to Adil, off to pastures new after a well-earned break. Lily sounds surprised, and also disappointed, that he won't be there while she is doing her work placement. Oliver tells her Roy will be looking after day-to-day operations, whilst their project manager Michael delivers the parts of the scheme still outstanding. He now has to dash off and speak with Roy before he knocks off; just as he turns away he greets Brad – which causes Lily to utter a most unladylike grunt. Brad is equally surprised to see her, and wonders if she is coming to work there, thus inadvertently making it clear that he will be. She claims to be on a fact-finding mission and wants him to tell her he is not jumping ship too.

Tony is absolutely not interested in Natasha's idea: they can stop right there. He doesn't want to hear. Tom makes the mistake of addressing him as if he were a small child to be coaxed, but Tony is adamant: they are not having anything to do with with the Titcheners. Tom asks if that applies even if they are doing it for Jack and Henry, and Tony retorts that he thinks it is obvious who they'd be doing it for, which gets Tom's back up; Pat tries to calm Tony, and Natasha asks if she can just try to explain. Tony tells her she doesn't need to. Helen says 'excuse me' and is ignored as Tony sweeps into a general condemnation: Tom should have known better than to even suggest it. Natasha says it was not just Tom, and Helen asks if she can just say something. Tom, says Tony bitterly, has always been the same, thinking more about his bank balance than his own family. It was the same with the girls' modelling. Natasha tells him it's not like that, and Pat appeals for calm, but Tony is not stopping: wanting to betray our principles... He is interrupted by Tom saying (quite calmly in the circumstances) that actually that's where he's wrong: they were going to put a share of the profits into a trust for Henry. Natasha endorses this: the idea was to give him something when he's older too. Tony sarcastically supposes that the fact that it would help their business had nothing to do with it. Pat tries again to intervene and is talked over by Tom saying it would be good for all of them. Once more Helen fails to get a word in as Tony protests that they could rent land anywhere and don't have to involve that wretched family. Pat finally makes herself heard and tells them to stop it, all of them. Don't they see, this is what Rob wanted? All he's ever done is try to tear them apart, and here they go again! Stop letting him do it; she's sick of it! Tony calms down a little and Natasha tries to explain: if she'd known it would have had this reaction... she's so sorry. Tom tells her not to apologise: it's not her fault his dad always thinks the worst of him. Tony mutters crossly, and Natasha protests that it is her fault: she convinced Tom that renting the land from Miles would be a good idea. Helen is surprised: she did? Yes, Natasha confirms, but only because of everything she and Helen have been talking about: Helen said she wasn't going to let it drive a wedge between Jack and Henry, that she couldn't alter what happened but could change what she did about it. Natasha was just trying to come up with a way of turning what Rob did into something positive. That's what Helen said she wanted. Helen denies it: no, she didn't. Natasha tries to argue, and Helen over-rides her, asking if she can speak? She doesn't know what Natasha thought she said, but Natasha has seriously misunderstood.

Lily is staggered to hear that Brad is going to be a porter at Grey Gables. She can't believe he'd rather lug people's cases around than work in the Orangery. He informs her that the pay's the same, and Roy says he'll arrange Brad's shifts to fit round his studies. As Lily starts to say that can be fixed, he adds that he gets free meals and membership of the gym. Lily laughs at 'the gym', but he can't see what's funny. She flounders around trying to retrieve her mistake and making it worse, until she ends up saying he's so... fit already. He says he has to get home, and she asks him to wait, then cajolingly asks whether he seriously wants to leave Lower Loxley? He's such a valued member of the team! He is surprised: is he? Of course, coos Lily, and with a tinkly little laugh extols his lovely sweet smile; she'd be really sad if he goes. Tell her what she can do to persuade him? Within reason, of course, she giggles. Brad is sorry, but he wants the job at Grey Gables; for a start he wouldn't have to work with his sister. Lily asks if Chelsea knows; Brad asks if Lily is kidding: Chelsea likes having him round as her skivvy. Lily is thoughtful, and Brad asks if he can go now; she offers him a lift, exclaiming that he'll get drenched walking, and maybe she can persuade him on the way back; he nervously laughs that he thinks he'll take his chances in the rain, and flees.

Natasha just wants Helen to know that she wasn't being crass, or selfish, but honestly believed Helen would think it was a good idea. Tony tells her that she might have; Tom, though... Helen intervenes, and then Tom says he was trying to make things better; Pat says 'please, both of you' and Helen finally loses patience and starts to talk. They are not doing this any more. She is not angry with Natasha or Tom, she knows it was coming from a good place, but she absolutely does not want anything to do with that land. Rob is gone and can't affect her any more, and this land isn't going to either, and Jack and Henry are going to be raised as friends and brothers; in fact the only thing that can affect them is 'you guys'; they need to draw a line too. Tony groans about it not being that simple, and she says that she knows they are all Rob's victims but they have to move on. She has to move on. And if they won't let her, well, she'll have to leave. She'll leave the farm. She'll leave Ambridge. Her family exclaim against this, but she is adamant. She'd rather do that than carry on going round and round in circles. She's moving forward, and if that's impossible where she is, she'll do it somewhere else.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 14th January, 2024

Hilda is about as welcome as change at the tearoom.

Characters: Emma, Fallon, Tony, Lilian, Brian, Natasha
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The sodden state of the fields at Grange Farm is yet again being mentioned as causing Ed grief, this time because lambing has started. Somehow this has caused Emma to be late getting to the tearoom, but Fallon doesn't mind as long as she is not late for the meeting. When asked what 'they' want to discuss now, Fallon doesn't know: how many times people have tagged themselves on social media under the fake wisteria outside the door, perhaps. Emma is not impressed by fake flowers, and nor is Fallon. Emma reverts to her complaint that the higher ground is what Oliver has sold; there were people there on Saturday fencing round the old barn and putting up 'Keep Out' signs, practically in their faces because Emma can see them from her kitchen. Anyway, she had better get started wrapping cutlery, she says with loathing, and Fallon adds that to the list of talking points for the meeting.

A further collection of Stuff belonging to Peggy has entered Tony's life, brought by Lilian; he had thought he cleared the whole lot, but no. These are things Peggy thought she wanted to take with her but now finds she doesn't have room for; she wants them distributed among the family rather than taken to a charity shop because they are dear to her. Lilian is feeling ruffled: Tony is being 'off', Pat was too busy with the goats even to say 'hello', Tom scampered off looking tense... Tony denies that anything is wrong, then admits that there is by saying that anyway it's all sorted, well maybe not completely but Helen says they are to let sleeping dogs lie; could they get on with this please? Lilian obliges: item number one is – Tony recognises the old cottage teapot. Lilian says that she will have it if Tony doesn't mind, but he voices objection; she can't have it because he wants it for Pat, who likes tea. Lilian becomes quite wistful about it until he eventually admits he was pulling her leg and the novelty teapot is all hers. Lilian is initially a little cross, then notes that if Jennifer were there she would fight them for it, and this reminds them that they ought to see if there is anything Brian and the children might want, though Tony rather doubts it and just wants to get on with it or it will never end. They are interrupted by Brian ringing Lilian: he is on his way back from The Laurels with something Peggy says doesn't quite fit in with her new life; Lilian thought she was given it all yesterday but it turns out one item was missed.

The meeting turns out to consist mostly of Natasha telling Fallon and Emma what they will be doing, in a honeyed but utterly implacable way. For instance they will have customers using a tablet to indicate what they think of the [appalling. Chris] new choices of muzak, and they will do Natasha's friend's daughter's christening.

Brian's offering is not what Lilian was expecting: when she was at The Laurels yesterday they seemed perfectly fine with her. Brian tells her there have been a few complaints since: apparently she's been wandering off into other residents' rooms and helping herself to anything she can get her paws on. (Hilda mews, on cue.) And the woman next door to Peggy says she comes and sits in her doorway staring at her. Lilian accepts that they all know the folklore of Hilda The Menace, but she looks so innocent weaving her way through Tony's things. However, when Brian asks where he should take Hilda's stuff Lilian is resolute in refusing to have her, and Brian of course doesn't want her: Tony can take her, he suggests cheerfully, since Peggy gave him strict instructions that someone had to take her home with them. Hilda expresses her disapproval of the whole sordid business by knocking the novelty teapot to the floor, where it smashes. After initial exclamation, Lilian supposes she could ask Leonard to mend it, and Brian slightly testily says never mind the teapot, what are they going to do about Hilda?

Natasha seems all set to organise the catering for the christening, but Fallon manages to be allowed to deal with the mother direct by presenting this as saving Natasha trouble. Natasha pauses to say that she loves the tune presently on the muzak machine; Fallon clearly does not, but Emma's arrival with a decaff coffee and a peanut butter blondie for Natasha prevents Fallon from saying what she thinks [I think it might be improved by volume reduction from say 6 to say 1. Or 0.05. Chris]. That's everything from Natasha's list, and she asks if there is anything they want to discuss; Emma is invited by Fallon to mention that her time is wasted by wrapping cutlery in paper napkins; however, Natasha very reasonably points out that they will save money on paper napkins if customers get just one wrapped round cutlery rather than being able to take what they need; Fallon's suggestion that there are cheaper ones available is brushed aside. Natasha suggests they keep going with doing as she has decreed for a while longer. When Fallon says that Emma could be doing more useful things, Natasha says that she hears her, but she and Tom are sure it will be a time and money saver in the long run; she suggests times at which Emma could do the chore, and asks if there is anything else. Emma mentions the salt and pepper shakers, which clog up; she has to clear them all the time with a toothpick. Can't they just use the old ones? Natasha feels those don't really fit in with the new design, but compromises on getting them out for now and she and Tom will have a think about replacements. Fallon then starts to mention the music, but is told there are a couple more styles for them to try over this week, which she has on a USB stick; Fallon tries to tell her that the customers like what they have always played, but Natasha is having none of it: they are trying to find the right vibe for them, and music is a key part. Emma suggests they were lucky that Fallon chose something the customers like and they can be happy listening to all day, but to no avail: Natasha lists 'some great stuff on here', which includes classical instrumental, some sort of earthy world music vibe, native American music, and Qawwalis. Emma asks if people really want to hear music they don't normally listen to, over a cup of coffee, and Natasha enthuses that this is exactly what they are going to find out. She then clacks off on her high heels, taking the remains of her peanut butter blondie for Tom to try.

Reasons not to take in Hilda include Ruby (Lilian) and Seren and Nova (Tony); Brian says that Peggy wants her cat to be with family, so they are not leaving there until someone mans up and takes her on.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 15th January, 2024

Ram-lambs are lost, Hilda is found, and Ed is in despair.

Characters: Clarrie, Ed, Lilian, Brian, Alistair
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Lambing is under way at Grange Farm, with Ed and Clarrie helping various sheep; a ram lamb is born dead, and Ed (who is exhausted from lack of sleep) feels despairing.

As Brian is shutting his front door Lilian approaches him to tell him that she cannot keep Hilda; Ruby is finding it all too much. After a certain amount of to and fro between them he is coerced into saying he will have to take the cat by the threat of his having to take Hilda back to Peggy and explain, because Peggy won't accept it from Lilian but will from him; but in fact the discussion is somewhat moot, since Hilda has escaped from Lilian as she was getting out of the car and has proved impossible to find.

There is more trouble at Grange Farm, and Alistair, who has looked in to see how things are going, is now helping with an elderly mother who is struggling to deliver a pair of twins. Ed goes to do the rounds again, leaving Clarrie to help Alistair, but their best efforts are not enough to save the second lamb unfortunately, another ram.

Brian is trying to entice Hilda by using a squeaky voice and rattling a feed-plate, and is interrupted by Lilian ringing him to ask whether he has found the cat; he hasn't, and hasn't gone far from where she was last seen. Lilian has been roaming the village. She is now in the St Stephen's graveyard and is whispering because she doesn't want to bump into Alan, while Brian is outside Blossom Hill Cottage; his inaction annoys Lilian.

The lambing party has gone back to the farmhouse, where Clarrie is giving Alistair a cup of tea. Ed is too tired to think straight, and Clarrie compels him to sit down and have a cup of tea too before he goes back out to the sheep; Alistair supports her, saying that taking a five-minute break to catch his breath is necessary. Ed bitterly asks whether he will find more dead lambs when he gets back, and both Alistair and Clarrie try to cheer him up a little without noticeable success. He laments that he has been doing everything right, and six years down the line you'd think he ought to be able to keep his lambs alive. Clarrie points out that it is just two, and Ed heavily replies that two is too many and goes back out.

What Hilda had done was go back to The Lodge; Brian found her mewing disconsolately outside because the cat-flap has been sealed and she couldn't get in. Lilian asserts she can tell that Hilda is pining for Peggy. Lilian apologises to the cat for being unable to cohabit with her, and then tells Brian that there are lots of cat-treats and toys at Lovell James which they could get for her. Brian remarks that there was a time when cats entertained themselves prowling around, and when dogs didn't wear jumpers. Lilian takes this as a personal comment on Ruby and defends dressing the animal up in a tartan jumper with a matching beret for a Christmas card. Brian reassures Hilda that there will be no tartan berets at Blossom Hill Cottage. But if he has anything to do with it she's not staying.

The disconsolate and exhausted Ed has fallen asleep at the table without touching his dinner, to Clarrie's dismay; he tries to go back out, but Clarrie tells him that Eddie is out in the shed and he is to sit and eat up his tea [she really did call it both 'dinner' and 'tea' in two consecutive sentences. Chris], even though he says he isn't hungry. He asks whether she has seen the fields, which he says are like swimming pools; when she says hopefully that they may drain off he is not even slightly optimistic: with all this experience under his belt, does he still have to make it on a wing and a prayer? Clarrie points out, reasonably enough, that no amount of experience can change the weather. Ed moans that he keeps thinking that if he had his own land... but Clarrie interrupts to remind him that he has plenty of land for his flock: they told him that when he went asking Home Farm for help. Voice rising to a squeak, Ed protests that he hasn't when it's waterlogged. Clarrie advises him that he has got to try and stay calm and stop being all doom and gloom, but he protests that this is his livelihood [why, when he has a job at Home Farm? Chris] and prices are going up for everything, they've got the excess to cover on Em's car after that tree fell on it, and what's the renewal going to cost now? It's not just one thing, it's never just one thing. Clarrie wants to know if he thinks she doesn't know that, then assures him the she and his dad will check the fields, the lambs are happy in the orchard in the meantime and the water will likely have drained off before he needs to get them out, he'll see. He is to stay positive. He now asks if she thinks he has made a mistake having the Texels, spending all this time and effort; of course not, she exclaims, but he ignores her and goes on: he does, sometimes, and he wishes he'd thought of the tree-surgery business before. That's straight-forward: trees everywhere, always growing, needing looking after, but how can he possibly get that off the ground? Clarrie reckons he has got the winter blues, that's all; it's been a hard one for them, with the land sale and the wet weather and him losing they ram-lambs, but when Spring comes he'll be back on his feet. Or flat on his backside, mutters Ed.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 16th January, 2024

Brad fears Lily might try something; Rebecca does but is roundly quashed.

Characters: Emma, Fallon, Rebecca Price, Azra, Adil, Brad
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Lambing is giving occasion for complaint yet again; Emma is very fed up with it. She also feels she won't survive much longer with 'that stuff' playing in the background; Fallon does not defend Natasha's musical taste. A customer comes in and comments about the change since she was last there; she doesn't seem particularly enthused about the cosy, familiar vibe having gone, and Fallon explains that the new management are looking for something different, but the drinks and cakes are still just as good: nothing has changed there. The customer then asks what the music is, and orders a skinny latte and a cupcake, to eat in. Emma asks her for seven-twenty and says she will bring it right over, then asks her to let them know on the tablet what she thinks of the music: it gets a one-star sad-face. Fallon comes over to serve Azra, who wants a flat white to take away but no cakes, though she'd really like to take one of everything. She loves the arch over the door, and and finds the music interesting: she likes it. Fallon takes three-forty for the coffee but somehow manages not to ask her to rate the music on the tablet. As she is going out through the door Emma reminds Fallon that she forgot to ask for her feedback on the music, and Fallon quietly says no, she didn't forget: Azra liked it, and they don't want too many five-star ratings, do they. Emma admits she said to everyone at home that they were to come in and tap the tablet in their favour at least once [which is silly: if there are a lot more votes than there have been customers it will be very obvious, Chris] and Fallon, her voice rising to normal levels, says they're not being bad or anything, but the truth is that they do have to listen to whatever is playing, day in day out, and they liked the music they used to play. By rigging the feedback a bit they're doing Natasha and Tom a favour really. The customer now comes back, ostensibly to check that it really is a skinny latte that she has been given because it is creamier than she had expected, and then insinuates that it sounds as if they have a fight with the new management on their hands, 'trouble in coffee heaven', which Fallon and Emma immediately deny; she goes on to suggest that it always feels good to stick it to the bosses. She then claims to be giving the music zero star sad-face rating [having already given it one star. Chris] and encourages them to tell her what's been going on. Is it pistols at dawn?

On the phone, Adil is explaining to 'baj' ['sister' in Urdu. Chris] that he just wants to make sure Grey Gables is in tip-top condition before he leaves, and Azra is pointing out that she knows his M.O. and that it is typical for him to be planning to leave just when she has taken the week off to look for places to live in the area and he was supposed to come with her. He tells her he had planned to come round and take her out to dinner and discuss his plans with her, but she insists she will come to him with pizza, like the old times, and help him pack; after insisting that he will buy the pizzas, and that he knows she doesn't like anchovies, he rings off quite abruptly in the face of her protests that he is not to do so. As he is muttering to himself that Azra will be so mad, Brad comes in and asks if he is OK, and Adil answers that he's fine, just suffering from overbearing sister syndrome, to which Brad responds that if that is a medical condition he definitely has it. Brad is wearing what he says is the first uniform he has ever liked and, according to Adil, looks smart. Adil and Brad reassure each other that tomorrow will go well; Brad is waiting for Roy, who is going to give the front-of-house staff a briefing in a few moments. Adil asks whether Brad has seen Lily about, and Brad is clearly alarmed; when Adil explains that she is coming in to do some work experience and asks him to keep an eye out for her he clearly doesn't feel comfortable. When Adil further tells him that she is coming in to sort out some arrangements and asks Brad to make sure she has got what she needs and knows where she's going, Brad asks if someone else can't do it and Adil wonders why. He knows that Brad and Lily know each other from Lower Loxley and thought they would be pleased to be together again, and Brad rushes into swift explanation that she is pretty and all that but he and Lily were never together. Adil is initially bewildered, then tells Brad the printer in the office is out of paper and asks him to bring a couple of boxes through before the meeting. Brad goes to get the paper, and Adil mutters, 'What the devil was all that about?'

Fallon and Emma are trying to explain the the strange customer that it's not like that, and she says she should introduce herself properly: she's Rebecca Price, from The Borchester Echo. Emma recognises her as the reporter who interviewed Susan and Neil about Philip Moss and the explosion. Undaunted, Rebecca speaks in a confidential tone of 'mutiny at the all-new tea-room already', and Emma claims not to know what she is talking about, just as Natasha comes in and greets Rebecca by name. Natasha reminds her that they were going to arrange a time over the phone, and Rebecca claims she was passing and just popped in to do it face-to-face and get a little feel for the place beforehand. Natasha asks pointedly why her staff look so worried, which both Emma and Fallon instantly deny, and Fallon asks Natasha whether they can have a private word. Natasha says 'sure' and Rebecca perkily interjects to say that it's OK, they can speak freely; Natasha, thoroughly irked, tells her that she and her staff can speak when and wherever they want. Emma breaks in to say Rebecca is the one who interviewed Mum and Dad about Philip Moss, acted all nice and then made it seem that it was all their fault. Rebecca claims that's a misrepresentation, and Fallon suggests it might have been an idea to introduce herself before she started to pry about the tea-room. Natasha pounces on the word 'pry', and Rebecca says she just overheard something that sounded like an interesting story: they can discuss that, if they like. No? Natasha might be interested in her staff rigging a vote. Emma, clearly disconcerted, asks 'what?' and Rebecca explains that she was asked to feed back about the music whereas the very next customer, she utters portentously, wasn't. Fallon explains that actually, she was in a rush and Fallon forgot to ask. Natasha suggests that Fallon should clean the tables, and draws 'Ms Price' to one side, leaving Fallon and Emma apprehensively expecting the worat.

When Brad brings the paper Adil thanks him, then asks whether everything is OK with him and Lily. If Brad would rather not be working with her ... Brad bursts out first 'Yes!' and then 'no', but manages to say that it's just Lily's got a thing for him, fancies him. He knows what Adil's thinking; Adil denies thinking anything, but asks if he is sure. Brad explains that she has been acting funny round him, and when he got a job at Grey Gables she turned up the next day for work experience, and what if she tries something? He knows that older women can be, well, assertive. Adil takes it that he is looking so worried because he doesn't feel the same, and Brad miserably says he doesn't: she's a nice woman but he's got a girlfriend. Adil tells him gently that his main focus should be on the job: Lily is only here for a few weeks, and now Adil is aware of the situation he will ask someone else to help her out. Brad's worry is that he doesn't know what to do if she does try something, and his girlfriend hears about it. Adil advises him to tell her himself, explain the situation, explain that he is avoiding Lily as much as possible but she will be working there. Then if anything happens his girlfriend had the heads-up and knows he has been honest. As Brad expresses relief, Azra turns up with the words 'knock knock', and Brad goes off to the briefing. Azra at once starts to complain about having been cut off on the phone.

Rebecca explains to Natasha that Fallon and Emma are basically rigging the music feedback to suit themselves, and asks whether she doesn't care about that; no, on the whole, what she cares about is that Rebecca does the job they are paying The Echo for, sponsored content on their new look café, and instead she walks in to find they've sent a journalist who thinks that customer feedback on their music choice is the biggest story since Trump alleged the US presidential election was rigged. She is also not interested when Rebecca says that they were saying all sorts about her: Oh, really? that's a scoop, that is: employees complaining about their bosses, quick, write that one up before someone else does! Rebecca starts to try to exculpate herself, but Natasha isn't interested in that either: if she wants this gig, she needs to leave now and sort out in her head the article Natasha has commissioned her to write, so they know exactly which features they want her to focus on. Music, Natasha adds, isn't one of them. Rebecca murmurs 'of course.' Natasha says that she ought to be asking the staff about the organic ingredients in the food, or the tea-room's choice of coffee-bean, not earwigging on two staff members having a moan. Rebecca knows. Natasha says that it doesn't look that way, and for good measure asks her what she thinks of the music that is playing; Rebecca says it might be a bit unfamiliar for background music and she would go for recognisable stuff so that it's effortless. Natasha congratulates her: see? That was good, and clear. Now please go away, and email some dates when she and a photographer can come in and do this properly. As Rebecca mumbles agreement, Natasha reminds her not to forget her cup-cake. Rebecca leaves, and Fallon comes over to apologise; she's very sorry. Natasha tells her not to be: Rebecca was the one poking her nose in. Natasha asks who the customer was they didn't let use the tablet, and Emma tells her it was Adil's sister; Natasha wonders why, and Fallon admits it was her, and it was because she said she liked the music. Natasha realises that Fallon and Emma really don't like it; today's in particular, sighs Emma. Natasha seems not to mind, just saying it's called a 'trial' for a reason and they have plenty of other choices. Let's hope Rebecca does a good job of promoting the place; it's costing them enough. Calls herself a journalist, snorts Natasha.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 17th January, 2024

In which nothing much happens. At length. In the rain.

Characters: Clarrie, Eddie, Emma, Adil, Lynda, Azra
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Concern over the Texels just goes on and on, though no more lambs have been lost.. Clarrie continues tremulously to try to be upbeat; Eddie continues to be gloomy; Emma continues to be disgruntled and complain about how hard it all is, with a side order of worrying about Ed because he is not getting enough sleep. [He's only dealt with lambing for six years, so she has only just noticed what that job entails. Chris.] She has brought some food from the tea-room to tempt his appetite. The fields are still wet and not draining off, which since it is still raining can't really be all that much of a surprise. Emma has asked Oliver for contact details for the Titcheners' solicitor to ask if they can use the land while nothing is being done with it. Though Eddie gloomily prophesies they will take the best part of a month getting back to her, she reckons it's worth a try. She goes to take Ed his food, and Eddie has half a mind to take the sheep over to the Titchener land anyway, since nobody is watching; Clarrie is very opposed to the idea.

At the newly-opened Grey Gables Adil greets Lynda; Robert has gone up to the room with their luggage. [They are staying in the Royal Garden Suite, which is on the ground floor. Chris.] Oliver has champagne waiting for them both. Lynda is very impressed by the new décor in the foyer. Lynda has of course seen it all before, but now it is up and running, it feels even better. He asks her to give him honest feedback on their stay; she responds by thanking him for his five stars and very generous review for Ambridge Hall, and they float on a cloud of mutual congratulation until Adil mentions being thrown out of his room to make way for Rylan; he then starts to rush off before Lynda can express herself properly on that subject, but says he will see her again to say goodbye. She asks if he really is leaving them, and he says yes, this evening. [So when is she going to give him the honest feedback on her stay tonight? Chris.] His work here is done, as they say.

Eddie is helping with the cooking, and Clarrie notices a massive hole in his sock; she reckons he can't wear those when Ed and Emma are coming for the meal, so she gives him a fresh pair to put on. [Does she always keep his clean socks in the kitchen? Chris.] Emma arrives, wet, and does some more enumerating all their troubles: sodden fields, and dead lambs, and sold land, does it ever get any easier? Simultaneously Eddie says 'No, love,' and Clarrie says 'Yes, love.' Emma is so tired; she doesn't know how Ed is managing it. Clarrie asks if that Rebecca journalist showed her face again, and the answer is no, but she's meant to be coming back next week with a photographer. Natasha has told them exactly what she wants, and what pictures; Emma describes her as assertive and wishes she were like her. She still feels bad about Natasha knowing that they were rigging the feedback forms for the music; she's fine about it to their faces [what, someone might be being two-faced, Emma love? How terrible. Gus] but when it's her and Tom, Emma does wonder what they are thinking. Clarrie tells her not to worry about it: if Natasha is fine about it to their faces that's good enough.

Lynda and Azra have encountered each other at Grey Gables; Azra has just had a very satisfactory massage. It seems that Azra got this on the house, just as Robert and Lynda's stay is on the house. Azra has wondered what the rooms are like, and Lynda at once invites her to come and have a look; in a soft and wondering voice she says the room is better than before, and she really does wonder how they do it. And the lounge area is luxurious too; it's so nice to have a resting space after a treatment and not have to get straight back out there. Adil finds them and he asks Azra how it was; she tells him the masseuse is a miracle-worker, and she feels supple and relaxed. Lynda thinks that in that case she might have one too; she has had a mani pedi and is very pleased with it. Adil is gratified and asks if they can think of anything that might be improved, and both say no. He will tell this to Roy, who is taking the reins when he leaves; Azra says that he means escapes, but Lynda chides her: he deserves a break. As he goes off again Azra says she'll see him later, but confides to Lynda that if he can slip away without saying goodbye he will. She'll miss him. Lynda says that she will too. It seems he has asked Azra to watch his allotment while he's away, and she will, but hopes he wants everything to die by the time he gets back; when her husband Akram left for Pakistan and was no longer there to look after their garden, she had it paved over. Lynda volunteers Robert and herself to help with Adil's allotment.

The table at Grange Farm is being set for five; Keira is out in the shed helping Ed and cheering him up. Clarrie tells Emma that Eddie has an idea, and Eddie tells her that all he was saying was they should take the lambs over to the Titcheners' land anyroad: no-one will see them. Emma objects that they may decide to turn up like they did last Saturday, but Eddie thinks they won't. Clarrie reminds him about the Keep Out signs they have put up, but he is sure they wouldn't have a clue anyone had been on their land when they're not there. That dry land is sitting there and Our Edward needs to use it, like they always have in wet winters.

As Adil closes the boot of his car Azra comes up and enquires whether he plans just to slip away, but he claims to be just clearing the last of his things from his office before coming to find her. She knows he likes a break when a project is done. He thinks she is silly to take a permanent job to be near him; she should think about herself and her children and Akram, and not worry about him: he is grown up. She tells him tartly that she will always worry about him until he settles down somewhere with a family of his own. Now is he going to tell her where he is going? Dadi's farm [Granny's gaff. Chris], he tells her; Rawalpindi. In surprise, she asks where he is staying; with her husband, if he'll have him, rejoins Adil. Akram doesn't know yet; he thought he would just turn up and see the look on his face: Azra points out that Akram hates surprises. She indulges in a quick burst of nostalgia about it always having been the two of them, and asks when he will be back; he doesn't know.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 18th January, 2024

Hilda is on the gad again, and Clarrie puts her foot down repeatedly before giving way.

Characters: Susan, Brian, cat noises, Clarrie, Eddie, Natasha, Fallon
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

There is a surprise visitor at Ambridge View; Brian, on his way back from the vets with Hilda [Ambridge view is not on the way from The Stables to Blossom Hill Cottage, nor indeed from anywhere to anywhere, being on a cul-de-sac farm-track at the edge of the village. Chris] has called in to visit Susan, whom he hasn't seen for an age. He has been practising competitive baking for Jennifer's anniversary, and has a cake with him [which he took to the vets? Chris]; he wonders if she would like to be the guinea-pig for it. Susan is flattered, and agrees, but is then unable to prevent him from letting Hilda out of her basket.

The waterlogged fields at Grange Farm are being inspected by Eddie and Clarrie; they are definitely not fit for sheep, and Eddie slips in the mud and falls. He is sure Ed should simply put his sheep in the sold field, and Miles will never know; Clarrie disagrees, and also points out that Emma is already in touch with the solicitor. Eddie thinks they should ask Miles Titchener himself, and when Clarrie objects that they don't even know him, remarks that Helen knows him and he bets Miles would do her a favour if she asked him. Clarrie thinks that is a terrible idea.

When Fallon knocks on the door, Natasha has just got the twins to sleep and wants quiet, but when Fallon offers to leave it until tomorrow tells her to come in. From whispers to begin with both women quickly start to talk at an ordinary level, with Fallon explaining that she emailed the results of the survey but has brought the tablet so Natasha can cross-check. Natasha sees no need; she is happy to take Fallon's word for the results. Fallon apologises yet again about 'what happened with that journalist', who was right, and Fallon is truly sorry. Natasha makes her low opinion of Rebecca Price absolutely clear, and when Fallon is amazed about the way she just had their backs, Natasha assures her that she meant every word, and says she used to bad-mouth her bosses before she got her own company. Fallon wants to be sure she realises that it wasn't Emma: Fallon was the one behind most of it. Natasha reassures her: she does realise that she and Tom can be like a bull in a china shop because they are so enthusiastic, but she is sensitive to the fact that Fallon had different hopes before she agreed to take on the job for them. That Rebecca woman will be back next week to write the material they are paying The Echo for, and as far as Natasha is concerned the whole thing is water under the bridge or off a duck's back or whatever Fallon prefers. She then confides that she put her foot in it herself last week and has been back-pedalling ever since. Fallon, concerned, asks if it is anything she can help with, but Natasha signs and says it is family stuff, in-law stuff. Before she forgets, she has put some money in the till to cover all the cakes and coffees she and Tom have been having. [That's been call it a tenner each at least, every day since 3rd December, 2023, I make that £500 each (allowing they were not open on Christmas Day)... Chris] Fallon is grateful.

Once again Hilda has escaped and run off; this time it is Brian and Susan looking for her. It quickly becomes clear that Susan has seen straight through Brian's pretences and knows that what he was trying to do was get her to adopt the cat, and she is utterly uninterested in the idea. If she were to have a pet as one of her 'six at sixty' it would be something low-maintenance like a tortoise, not a cat. Brian tries to explain that he is just not a cat person, whereas with the constant supply of milk from the dairy she would be a dream owner for the cat. Susan immediately says most cats are lactose-intolerant, which Brian didn't know, and when he tries to plead that she is showing herself to be safer hands already, she tells him she will help him find the cat, but they need to be clear: Hilda is his cat now, and he needs to accept that. Susan does. not. want. her. Brian gives up and is sent home to look for her there.

Natasha is now showing Fallon how to put a car-seat into a car, and says this is something Fallon will quickly pick up; one upside of being an employee is maternity leave, after all. When are she and Harrison thinking of starting a family? Fallon says that actually, she's never really wanted a family, and Natasha instantly pulls back and says that's absolutely fair enough, then does a check: the kids are both in the car, her work stuff is on the front seat, the keys are in her hand; she claims that if she doesn't check she'll worry that she's strapped her work-bag in the back and left one of the kids on the top of the car. Fallon tells her she is too diligent for that; Natasha thanks her then checks that Fallon doesn't mind her asking about children; it's everyone's personal choice, but some people are a little sensitive and she wouldn't want to put her foot in it, again. Fallon assures her that it's fine, and she looks after Harrison's niece now and then so it's not as if she doesn't like children; Natasha suggests she is just sensible enough to know she can give them back, and Fallon agrees. Natasha then suddenly asks about the music: what are Fallon's thoughts? Fallon is surprised but manages to say that some people like the new stuff they are trying out, but the majority liked the stuff they used to play: it just carries on in the background without being... Too invasive? suggests Natasha. Yes, agrees Fallon, plus it's the most popular with the locals, the regulars; people passing through will listen to anything because it's just that one time. Natasha agrees that what she's saying makes sense: if it ain't broke... Exactly, agrees Fallon. No more trials, decides Natasha; they'll just keep with what works. She'll tell Tom tonight; it'll be fine. They part in a friendly way.

Brian has gone to The Lodge and found Hilda there, as before; he tells her it is no good, Peggy doesn't live there any more, nobody does, and he doesn't mean to be harsh but this isn't her home. 'Home' is with him, apparently. Don't look at him like that! He's tried everything, but no-one will have her. How about this: he'll stop trying to give her away if she'll promise to stop running off. He knows how she feels, more than she thinks, missing her companion, having to settle into a new home, but she'll get through it: we all have to in the end.

It's pitch black and Clarrie is freezing and she wants to go home. Eddie is confirming to her that the ten acres higher up away from the Am aren't half as wet and perfect for ewes and lambs; Clarrie reiterates that they belong to someone else now and they shouldn't be up there. Eddie ignores this and says that Edward can bring them up there; lambs do best on grass, and as soon as the land by the Am has drained off he can move them there. Clarrie, however, has got a message from Emma: the solicitor has replied, telling her that under no circumstances is any person or animal to set foot on the land. Eddie is disgusted, and Clarrie tells him they'd better go: they might be sending someone to check now. Eddie says that this will knock their boy right off his feet: it was his last bit of hope. And Clarrie cuts off every suggestion he makes. She asserts that's because they are stupid, and he snaps back that asking Helen to ask Miles was not stupid, something with which she strongly disagrees. In response, Eddie tells her that Edward was saying he wants to give it up altogether. Clarrie reacts with horror: he can't, after all Helen has been through with the Titcheners; Eddie says Ed is at the end of his rope, and Eddie is going to have a word with Helen Archer and Clarrie is not going to stop him. Oh yes she is, she replies firmly: he is right and it's the only thing left to try, but if anyone is going to speak to Helen it's going to be Clarrie. For Our Edward's sake.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 19th January, 2024

Brad succeeds in his endeavour, while Clarrie fails in hers.

Characters: Mia, Brad, Clarrie, Eddie, Helen
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

At The Bull, Brad tries for 150 seconds [that's two and a half minutes – I timed it. Chris] to break into Mia's monologue about her own doings (how busy she has been, the Renew show, how she felt about his new uniform, Kenton paying for their drinks because she is helping with the Renew show, her and Fallon making a mannequin out of plastic fished from the Am, Fallon helping, Clarrie, Ed and how she feels bad for him), and only manages it in the end because she asks him if he wants to say something. Even then she interrupts him three times to ask what he is going to say. In the end he gabbles, 'Lily fancies me and she's been coming on to me', at which Mia spits out some of her drink.

Eddie has come to the dairy to offer, not for the first time, to ask Helen about asking Miles rather than Clarrie doing it, though at first she thinks he is simply checking on her. Helen not being in yet, Clarrie has not yet asked her. They speak through the intercom, but Clarrie chooses to come out to talk to him properly.

Mia is having the giggles at the notion that Lily might fancy Brad, and suggests that he got the wrong end of the stick. He is clearly unhappy about her reaction, so she lays it on thick about how super-attractive he is, and how she thinks he is really gorgeous, and cycling is keeping him really fit; in conclusion, she would not be one bit surprised if Lily had the hots for him. Brad just wants her to know he 's done nothing to encourage Lily and if she says anything else he'll tell her he's flattered by her attention, she's an attractive older woman and he's sure the right person will come along for her in time, but he is spoken for and has a girlfriend, and he's not interested. This careful speech is punctuated by Mia not laughing, (no, really). She tells him that'll do it. Brad further wants Mia to know that whoever has thoughts about him like that, he only has eyes for her. No matter what or who. She is glad to hear it, and kisses him.

Clarrie wishes Eddie hadn't come: she was nervous anyway and he has not helped. He says he is there if she needs him, but Clarrie is sure that the last thing they need is him making a pig's ear of it. This is a really sensitive matter and she has been working out what to say since last night; Eddie says reassuringly that it's only Helen and Clarrie sees her practically every day. Clarrie tells him that if she was Helen she wouldn't want anything to do with it. Eddie says that's why he is there, for support, and Helen breaks in, via intercom, to ask whether everything is OK. Clarrie goes back in while Eddie claims to be there to give Clarrie a lift home.

After some delay to summon up her courage, and after Helen practically drags it out of her, Clarrie does work herself up to come out with her request, practically in tears and very apologetic. Eddie was there because he is so worried about their Edward. Helen leaps on this, the first actual information she has been given, and wants to know what's happened.

The interminable competition between Bert Horrobin and Neville Booth about who has been drinking at The Bull for longest is now the subject of Brad and Mia's discourse, but Brad decides Mia deserves one of her birthday presents early. It's a message on his phone but addressed to her, about her being another eco-warrior, recorded by Hamza Yassin, which bowls Mia over; Brad is mysterious about how he managed to arrange it. But he'd do anything for Mia. She reciprocates, and then kisses him. Brad adds that he asked Freddie, who has agreed to do the music for the Renew fashion show. Mia tells him that he is on fire.

Clarrie is being very apologetic and hoping she hasn't spoken out of turn, but is sure Helen understands they wouldn't even think of asking her to speak to Miles if they weren't desperate. Helen knows that, and says so: she is so sorry Ed's having such a hard time, and she wishes she could help, but she's afraid she can't. Clarrie understands too, and also says so: she is ashamed she even asked. Helen cuts that off: she's glad Clarrie did, and if it were anything else she would help, but when Rob died she drew a line under the whole thing and she has to be firm about that. When Clarrie says that she knows how Helen has suffered, Helen doesn't think that she does, and is glad of it, glad that Clarrie will never have a life poisoned by someone like him. [Peak Helen. Gus.] Just as Clarrie must do everything for her children, Helen must protect hers. Clarrie once again says that she understands, and is sorry she asked. Helen says she has nothing to be sorry for, and if it's any consolation Helen had to remind her family of the same so they'd understand. She is sorry she can't help. Clarrie thanks her for listening and not getting angry with her for asking. Helen says it's fine, and if she thinks of anything she will definitely let Clarrie know; then [perhaps feeling embarrassed that this is all going round in circles yet again. Chris] says she and Susan will finish up in the dairy, and sends Clarrie home a bit early.

In the car home, Clarrie doesn't really want to talk to Eddie, but in the end manages to tell him that the answer was no and that Helen was right to give it, poor woman: who'd want to ask a favour from a Titchener after what Rob did? He may be dead, but he's still infecting her life. Eddie feels there was no harm in trying: she did her best. She tells him she can't go home; how can she go and tell Edward it didn't work and his only hope of dry pasture fell through? Eddie says that's not on her, but she is convinced that it is, it's all on her. Why did Eddie have to tell Ed they were going to ask? He would have been none the wiser. Eddie is sure they'll find a way through: there's a day or two more yet before the lambs need to be out of the orchard and into the fields. They've got time to put their heads together, and Edward won't be so tired. Clarrie is discouraged and makes no bones about it: they're back at square one; when Eddie says it's just a bad year and it'll pass, she replies that is what they always say. Eddie's optimistic 'It always does, eventually' doesn't convince her: this time, she's not so sure.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 21st January, 2024

Kenton feels confused, and Helen feels liberated.

Characters: Helen, Natasha, Jolene, Kenton, Rebecca Price
Credited scriptwriter:
Caroline Jester
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

In the Bridge Farm shop Helen greets Natasha, who because they have almost run out in the tea-room just needs to grab some milk, but stays to complain about a tractor, which she asked Tom to move because it won't look good in the photographs. Helen didn't know about the photographer and doesn't see that the tractor is a problem anyway: it is obviously a farm, after all. Natasha then apologises again for having rushed in where angels might fear to tread with her insensitive suggestion about renting the Grange Farm land, and is assured it is all forgotten: Helen has moved on and it is OK. Nervously, Natasha suggests 'Time to move forward'; Helen replies that is easier said than done though, and explains that Clarrie asked her last week if she'd try to talk Miles into letting Ed use the land for his Texels to graze on. Natasha is outraged: Clarrie asked her to talk to him? Helen assures her that she told Clarrie she wouldn't, but it's just another example of the Titcheners' trail of destruction. Natasha can't credit it, though Helen says Clarrie was just trying to help Ed, and hopes Clarrie is leaving her alone now: it's a bit much of her to ask, when she isn't even family! Helen gives a tinkly little laugh and says that family can get it wrong too, which effectively silences Natasha; Helen then notices the photographer outside and Natasha rushes off to field him, with Helen saying she will bring the milk over for her. Helen even agrees the photographer is welcome in the shop when they finish up in the tea-room, but doesn't want to be in any photos herself.

At The Bull, Kenton is wrestling with the great Booth vs Horrobin argument, which Jolene doesn't in the least want to be involved in, though she does offer him a coffee. They are both in the pub, at opposite ends of the bar, conducting their quarrel in loud voices. The punters are taking sides, too. Jolene comments that it's not really the relaxing welcome toa country pub they are after, and Kenton ruefully suggests that 'we didn't really think this one through, did we'. 'We?' agrees Jolene pointedly. Jolene would be happy to let Bert win: he is following Tracy to work every day to get in before they open. [Someone really needs to decide whether this competition is about how many years they've been drinking there, or how many hours they have spent in the pub. Which it is seems to vary from episode to episode or scene to scene or even within a scene. Chris.] Irrelevantly, they debate the relative profitability of the two men. Anyway, Jolene can't help Kenton with his task of going over the 'evidence'. She eventually agrees to half an hour, no more.

Natasha hails Rebecca and summons her to the table she has reserved for them; Rebecca seems very conciliatory and prepared to write what she is told by Natasha to write. As this is being made clear, Helen comes to bring the milk and is recognised as Helen Titchener-oh-sorry-Archer, but even that is not allowed to ruffle Helen's newly serene surface.

The sorting out at The Bull seems to be unnecessarily complicated, with Bert having brought along his birth-certificate (born in 1935, which makes him eighty-nine this year) to prove that he's the older, while Neville, without producing evidence, is claiming to be ninety. Such items as beermats to prove Bert was there when they were collected ['And here to prove it is the verra cat to which it happened!' Chris] are also there, in an untidy heap. Neville has brought a photo from the Echo dated 2004, in which he and Bert are standing together, clearly good friends. There is a photograph of Neville as a baby which Kenton says looks like one of the first ever photographs [which would make him well over a hundred. We have family photographs of my grandparents which were taken in the mid to late nineteenth century. Chris] and Jolene says they simply need Neville's birth certificate. At this point a new wrinkle is added; since Bert claims to have boycotted the pub while the Hassett Room civil war themed restaurant was serving food he disliked, they need to deduct that time from his score. [Are they also thinking taking holidays into consideration? Illness? Chris.]

Before she leaves, Rebecca is being given final instructions by Natasha; she will send her a draft to approve, and the photographs, before it goes to print, and Natasha will have final say. Helen comes in again and comes over, and Rebecca wonders whether she has any cheese samples. Indeed she has; on the off-chance Rebecca was still there she has brought a selection for Rebecca to take with her. She then mentions things she'd like to have included in the article; Natasha has already spoken of them, but Helen elaborates anyway. She also gives the names Susan Carter and Clarrie Grundy as her 'team', hoping they can be mentioned by name. Rebecca makes a note, and asks if she can mention Helen by name as well; Natasha thinks the Bridge Farm name is probably enough, but the laid-back Helen doesn't mind her name being used if Rebecca wants, and if she needs any photos in the dairy just let Helen know.

Confusion reigns at The Bull; Kenton is no further on that when he started. He decides they must work out a system to calculate this; Jolene suggests they could break it down into eras, perhaps by publican. She then reminds him they have Burns Night to prepare for, and adds that unless they can get to the bottom of how old Neville is, they'll have to call Peggy as a witness. Kenton remarks that it is supposed to be a bit of fun, not a court of law. They need someone who is good with numbers to work it out, and Jolene thinks she knows just the man for the job: Brad Horrobin. When Kenton protests that Brad would be biased, she tells him he can do it, then. Kenton says he will get hold of Brad.

Helen and Natasha are congratulating themselves on how well the press interview went; Natasha was surprised Helen felt able to be included in the article and have her photo taken, and Helen surprised herself: it just felt like the right thing to do. Natasha muses that it really does feel like a new start; Helen agrees. Small steps, but she's spent so many years looking over her shoulder, and she doesn't have to do that any more: she feels liberated.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 22nd January, 2024

Discontent in the dairy, and the Dead-Jenny Bake-Off.

Characters: Clarrie, Susan, Adam, Brian, Alice, Lilian
Credited scriptwriter:
Caroline Jester
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Whinging about Ed's sheep and being nasty about Miles Titchener is keeping Clarrie and Susan busy in the dairy, with Clarrie painfully aware that her upsetting Helen hasn't helped things, when Adam comes in looking for Helen. He is in a great hurry, explaining that there is a cake-baking competition for Jennifer's anniversary and he mustn't be late, whereat naturally Susan wants to tell him all about Ed's problem and get his help, in spite of him repeatedly saying he can't help and has to go. Eventually he asks in mild exasperation why Ed doesn't stick them on the outfield at the cricket pitch, and manages to get away. [Does he not remember what trouble was caused last time he failed to treat with absolute seriousness a whinging woman demanding his full attention? Chris.]

At Blossom Hill Cottage Brian is about to take his cake out of the oven while Alice heckles and gives unwanted and unnecessary advice. Lilian and Adam arrive together, with Lilian saying snidely that Adam's cake will take some beating, and Alice is instantly sure that Ian made it for him: she can tell. Adam hopes she is not doubting his baking skills; Brian suggests she should disqualify both of them because a classic Victoria sponge is what was agreed, and Alice's has three layers while Adam's has a strawberry mascarpone filling. Lilian then teases Alice insinuatingly about 'that gorgeous Harry', which somewhat annoys Alice, and Adam joins in. Kate has gone to see Peggy and won't be there, and Brian suggests that Alice and Adam could put their cakes in the sitting-room and let him finish his in peace. Adam takes Alice away saying that he wants all the details about Mister Wonderful; Alice wishes everyone would shut up about Harry. Lilian remarks to Brian that Jennifer would have approved of this way of bringing them all together to mark the anniversary of her death; he hopes so. She'd have been pretty surprised as well, crows Lilian, to see Brian baking a cake!

Work at the dairy proceeds, with Susan saying, to Clarrie's horror, that Emma likes the sound of the cricket pitch and will talk to Ed about it. [Not to whoever is in charge of the place? Chris.] Clarrie informs her that Adam wasn't serious just as Helen comes in and congratulates them about the speed at which they are getting through putting the ice-cream into tubs; Susan remarks that Clarrie was just saying they don't usually need to do this many in January, and Helen says the tea-room is using more Bridge Farm produce now; they are being kept busy and will be even busier with the new plan she has for the dairy as well. Cheese Easter eggs, she announces triumphantly. Clarrie is astonished, and Susan wants to know whether she is sure. Helen defends the idea on the grounds they are becoming very popular; Susan remains dubious. Helen also wanted to let them know she has decided to take a break with the boys over half term, to see Paris Saint-Germain play; it feels important that they should get away, just the three of them. She'll be in the office if they need her.

After Helen has left left Susan opines that Clarrie will have to manage the dairy while Helen is away, which Clarrie is not at all sure about: she's exhausted. Susan suggests the extra money will come in handy, but Clarrie reckons if she took on any more she'd collapse, and anyway Susan would enjoy being the boss more than she would. They bat the idea to and fro for a while; when Susan ends up saying there is more to life than work, Clarrie sighs and responds that she wishes she could think like that.

The cakes are now being tasted by Lilian, with Adam and Alice being politely rude about each others' effort; when Alice says she is convinced Ian baked the cake Adam has come along with, Adam insists that he most certainly did not. Lilian cuts in to announce there is clearly one winner: Brian. Adam cheers; Lilian enquires whether he wants to tell the truth, and when Adam tries to brazen it out by denying again that Ian made the cake, she tells him that she was following him on the way to Blossom Hill Cottage and saw him leaving the tea-room brandishing a Victoria sponge [This is tosh: the tea-room is in a farmyard off a cul-de-sac off a road nowhere near where Lilian would be likely to be unless she was actively at Bridge Farm, in which case he would have seen her as they got into their cars. Chris] and he was disqualified from the off. Brian savours victory, and Alice protests that Martha helped with the decorations on her cake and will be really upset they didn't win; Brian is sure she'll be a little more mature than her mother. Lilian changes the subject: has anyone else volunteered to be a model for the Renew fashion show? Brian feels that this needs no reply, Adam makes the excuse of meeting Helen at the dairy and makes tracks, and Alice will be looking after Martha on Friday, and is unamused when Lilian suggests she should ask Dashing Harry and take the opportunity to show him off to everyone. She wants to let things develop in their own time before parading him around the village. Also, it doesn't feel right introducing him to other people knowing Mum will never meet him. Brian coughs before speaking, and rather than assuming he wants them to shut up about Jennifer, Alice asks if he is all right; he says he is just tired after the ferocity of the competitive baking. Lilian has to go to meet Tony in The Bull to toast Jenny, but Alice doesn't want to join them; she will stay and help Brian clear up. He assures her there is no need, but she says that she wants to.

It seems that Helen has asked Adam to be in charge of the dairy while she is away, and while neither Clarrie nor Susan wanted to be the boss, neither seems pleased to have him shipped in over their heads, though Clarrie calls it a good plan. He says he might drop in during the next couple of weeks to remind himself what goes on in the dairy, and he and Helen then go off to the office to look at copy for advertising the cheese Easter eggs. As soon as they are out of earshot Susan mutters that she's not sure about this, and Clarrie isn't either; Susan worries that he knows hardly anything about making ice-cream or cheese or yoghurt – and it went from him getting stuck in, to trouble-shooting, to reminding himself of what they do, she adds indignantly. They don't know what that all means, but they won't let him poke his nose in where it's not wanted.

With a little laugh, Alice remarks that Hilda looks very settled and is clearly the boss. Brian reiterates that she really doesn't have to sit with him, but being completely incapable of taking a hint she repeats, as if it were the only important consideration, that she wants to. He protests that he is sure she has got other things to do, but she says that Martha is with Chris and she didn't want to be alone today. Breaking a silence, Brian tells her that he thinks her mother would have crowned her the winner, for the effort she put into that cake. She thanks him, then abruptly asks what he really thinks about Harry. He says that it isn't what he thinks that matters, and she has to trust her own feelings. She says she is nervous: of getting hurt, to which Brian responds that shouldn't stop her having a relationship, and she says she is frightened of hurting Harry as well. Brian muses that from what she has told him, she has been very honest with Harry, and she agrees that she has; Brian informs her that he makes her face light up when they are together, and that she knows Brian likes him but nothing is ever guaranteed, and they both know that things can change in an instant. She knows that too. The most important thing, he tells her, is that her mother would want her to be happy; then he coughs again, and Alice stops thinking about herself and asks if he's all right. He says he is fine, just coming down with a cold he thinks. When she asks if he is sure that's all he firmly says that yes, he is sure that's all, She then decides that she should stay, but he tells her to go before he sets Hilda on her, which makes her laugh indulgently. She is to go, he says emphatically, and live her life.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 23rd January, 2024

Chelsea is kicked out and Harry is summoned.

Characters: Harry, Alice, Azra, Chelsea, Brad
Credited scriptwriter:
Caroline Jester
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

We can tell by the sound of snorting that there is a horse in the scene, and sure enough Harry is exercising one of the young horses at The Stables, with Alice for an audience. He thinks that the cross-country course at The Stables is excellent [in spite of being inside a triangle of roads 100 metres x 100 metres x 120 metres which also contains an indoor school, a house and a veterinary surgery, as well as stable blocks. Chris] and is feeling happy to be riding and forgetting abut his injury. Alice promptly reminds him to be careful. He asks after the cake competition, and how her day was in general, and she tells him it still feels strange without Mum around: she thinks she will never feel right without her. He tries to reassure her that it will get easier with time; he wishes he could have met her. She tells him that as a matter of fact, he was the main topic of conversation, especially with Lilian, which he seems pleased about but still fishes for compliments. He then suggests she should go and find a horse so they can warm up for their hack tomorrow; it doesn't take much to persuade her. His phone rings as she is going and when he takes it, it is Dr Malik wanting him to come in as soon as possible; he missed an appointment last week and she wants to see him in person to discuss 'results', at five o'clock today.

Brad is not pleased when Chelsea bangs on his door and then walks in despite his saying he is not there. She refuses to leave him alone, and badgers him into talking to her; he is also being harassed by his grandad, and has a lot of school work to finish, and is tired and fed up. She insultingly assumes he must be on drugs because she doesn't understand what he is saying. When he talks about his troubles she wants to know why he didn't just tell Jolene and Kenton where to get off, and he explains they are paying him, but not enough for all the time it is taking. She tells him to ask for more money, but he is preoccupied with the impossibility of working out how long Bert and Neville have each spent drinking in The Bull, even though Bert keeps giving him things like beermats. Chelsea suggests just making Grandad the winner so he is in the pub all day collecting his free pint instead of in front of their telly [which actually, like the house, is his. Chris] but Brad is off again about Neville providing more and more 'evidence' and Bert doing the same, and Kenton wanting him to go through it all. Chelsea reports that Tracy says she didn't see Bert all through the eighties so Brad can cross them off. [Him 'working on the roads all over' has been invented for that decade to account for an absence which has been invented. Chris.]Brad rightly asserts that if he can't check it he can't use it. Chelsea suggests just making the oldest win, but Brad tells her nobody knows how old Neville is. She decides to do some detective work while she is giving him a haircut later.

Alice and Harry are having their hack along a road and seem wellpleased with each other until Harry [without his horse. Chris] slips and he falls into the mud, claiming immediately that his hip is absolutely fine. Alice conjures him to get up really carefully in case he falls back down, and he admits he could do with a hand up; when she (presumably) dismounts to help him she slips and falls as well. [The horses ignore this unseemly human stupidity and stay where they are rather than bolting. Chris.] Both of them get covered in mud and decide they must go back to Alice's house to clean up, and they smooch. [The horses remain silent about the whole sordid business. Chris]

Brad is taking supplies up to his room and plans to stay there and not come down to meals. He is going to have to work through the night, and has only come out while Bert is not in the house. Chelsea has managed to find out Neville's birth date by conning him into letting her see his passport which has his date of birth in it: he was born in 1949. Brad is triumphant: Grandad is fourteen years older. The trouble is that Neville realised what Chelsea was up to and she didn't manage to take a photo of his passport; he got angry and flapped his hands at her when she tried, and she had to come clean and admit it was for the longest drinker. He threw her out saying that he knew it was a Horrobin conspiracy, and now his hair is a mess, and she has made it all worse. If it was up to her she would disqualify the pair of them.

Harry is a very uncooperative patient, claiming to be fine and have nothing wrong with him, constantly interrupting and not listening to what the doctor has to say. In spite of his claims to feel absolutely fine she tells him that they can't ignore this, and that she knows some things are difficult to discuss over the phone; it becomes clear it is very difficult for her to be allowed to discuss them in person either. He manages to obfuscate and blether about the irrelevant for long enough to prevent her from telling him before the episode ends what the results of his blood test have shown in the way of 'some abnormalities'. He tells her firmly that nothing she says is going to change the way he feels.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 24th January, 2024

Ambridge is full of bullies who unfortunately get their own way.

Characters: Alice, Brian, Brad, Chelsea, Ed, Eddie
Credited scriptwriter:
Caroline Jester
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Yet again, Alice has walked into Brian's house without bothering to knock or ring the doorbell. This time he is watching the news, but is quite glad to turn it off because it is relentlessly horrible; Alice says she's had to stop watching the news because of these dreadful wars upsetting her. She has a quick burst of first-world guilt about being selfish and her problems being insignificant in comparison, before launching into her preoccupation of the moment: her pretext for being there is that she bought too many pastries from the tea-room for a hack with Harry and brought the excess to Brian on her way to meet Harry. [The tea-room is at Bridge Farm. The Stables, where the horses are, is about five hundred yards directly from Bridge Farm on the same road. Brian lives on a different road on the other side of the village. 'On her way' is not accurate. Chris.] She then talks randomly in praise of Harry for a bit before sharply and abruptly asking Brian if he is OK and wanting to know why he is still in his pyjamas and why he was watching breakfast television, which he detests. He explains that he must have fallen asleep in his chair, which happens sometimes at his age, but she knows better than he does: it doesn't happen to him [there all day every day, is she? Chris], and he looks a bit off colour. He tells her that he is fine and asks whether she didn't say she was on her way somewhere, but that won't do for Alice: what's wrong? He says 'nothing' but she is determined not to allow him to know his own mind: please don't keep things from her, she says with saccharine reasonableness, and will accept nothing he says thereafter as true no matter how much he tries to get rid of her. There is something wrong, she can tell, she states, before threatening him that he can't have the unsolicited cakes until he tells her what it is.

At least Chelsea knocks before barging into Brad's room unwanted and uninvited. He has been up all night trying to sort out the pub competition; she tells him that his problem is that he's got to learn how to say 'no' to people and set boundaries; he mutters that he thought his bedroom door was a boundary. When someone asks you to do something you don't just say 'yeah', lectures Chelsea, and is horrified when he also admits to having offered to help Mia find models for the fashion show. Chelsea then makes her own demand of him: when he is seeing Mia at Grange Farm later he is to tell Eddie he needs to be a model. He is the one with the Grundy connections. [Not Mia, who will be there and whose surname is Grundy? Chris.] And Mia will think he is really assertive if he gets Eddie Grundy on the catwalk.

Alice refuses to leave no matter what Brian says, and eventually nags him into admitting to 'a little tightening in my chest'; triumphantly she exclaims that she knew it, wants to know how long he has had this pain, and won't accept his statement that it is not a pain exactly. She decides to take him to hospital; he refuses to go. She wants to know if he is taking his 'angina pills', which he is, tells him to get in the car and threatens to call the whole family if he doesn't do as he is told. She claims they can't just ignore it; Brian is equally clear that they can. She then tells him he looks pale and wants to know if he is clammy; he asks whether Harry won't be waiting for her, but she just wants the blood-pressure machine she bought for him and insists on using it on him in spite of his protests that this needs to stop. His blood pressure is surprisingly low for someone who is being bullyragged so unrelentingly: 128 over 82, with an 83 beats per minute pulse. When Alice argues that Brian's heart-beat might have been irregular and she didn't see that, he gets almost cross and tells her that's enough, but to no avail: she now wants to call the GP's surgery. He mocks her: 'And tell them I've got normal blood pressure and a good pulse rate?' She has got to stop this for her own sake. The only person she needs to call is Harry, to tell him she is on her way. Alice then starts the guilt-tripping about her mother having died without her having the chance to say goodbye to her and how she couldn't bear to go through that again. Brian says that if there is anything she needs to know he will tell her, and once more asks her to leave. Unfortunately for what Brian wants she has already sent Harry a text cancelling their ride, and proposes to stay with Brian all day until she can hand over watch and ward to Kate in the evening. He thinks he will now have a pastry, but she instantly forbids this on the grounds that they don't know how high his cholesterol is yet.

To a background of sheep, Ed tells Eddie that Emma made him look at the cricket field even though he didn't want to, and it might just work, though they would need to find a way to keep the sheep off the wicket. Eddie asks what they said up at Grey Gables [which has had nothing whatever to do with the cricket pitch since Jack Woolley donated that to the cricket club back at the turn of the century. Chris], but Ed can't get hold of any of them [in spite of living in the same house as Oliver. Chris]. Brad now appears, looking for Eddie, and has a good try at recruiting him for Mia's show, but without much success until Chelsea makes an appearance and gives Eddie the clothes he will be wearing and tells him to go indoors and get changed: he has five minutes before they do catwalk practice.

Brian is getting rather tired of being stared at to see if he is still breathing: he calls it unnerving. Hilda and Alice are both doing it. He also doesn't believe the tale she told about just happening to come to bring pastries; Alice admits there was something else. She wants to know whether it's too soon to introduce Harry to Martha. Brian has no idea, but on the whole manages to let her decide while appearing to advise her, and tells her about being nervous when Jennifer introduced him the Adam and Debbie. Alice decides to invite Harry over tomorrow, then reverts to nagging Brian about going to see the GP, and he finally agrees to if it will stop her worrying. [I assume he meant worrying him. Chris.]

To the accompaniment of music, Eddie is being talked by Chelsea into not only taking part in the fashion show, but wearing stilettos while he does it. She accuses him of refusing because he is too old, and so manages to get him to do something very much against his better judgement and wishes. It is of course only a joke on him, and he will not have to wear heels in the show. Ed comes in and co-opts Brad to help him move sheep tomorrow, backed up by Eddie's invocation of 'the code of the Grundys'. Chelsea reminds Brad about being more assertive but in vain.

[You seem a little irritable, Chris. Are you OK? Gus.] [Not really: this episode was, if possible, even worse than usual. Chris.]

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 25th January, 2024

Ambridge bullying continues, with added idiots. And sheep.

Characters: Ed, Eddie, Brad, Susan, Clarrie, Adam
Credited scriptwriter:
Caroline Jester
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Ed has dropped the bales off near the Pavilion, net fencing is up all round the wickets and the whole pitch is nice and dry; he asks whether Eddie reckons they are doing the right thing. If someone finds out... Eddie tells him not to be daft: who goes to the cricket pitch off-season? Ed is worried that they could end up getting arrested; Eddie is sure the Texels will be back at Grange Farm before anyone clocks them. Ed has a bad feeling about this. When Brad arrives he wonders whether they ought not to be doing it at night, but Eddie laughs this to scorn: if someone sees them, just act natural. With over a hundred sheep? asks Brad. Eddie points out that by the time they get the sheep onto the outfield it will be getting dark anyway. The gate is opened and the sheep set out.

At the dairy Susan is telling Clarrie how to do her job; she is late because she has been to fetch copies of The Borchester Echo, complete with puff piece about the shop and dairy; Clarrie is flattering about Susan's picture but thinks she looks a bit haggard herself. Clarrie starts to want to get back to work, but Susan doesn't think it needs two of them to put the yoghurt into the big buckets; Clarrie reminds her that is the way Helen likes it to be done. As Susan is trying to push Clarrie to do what Clarrie knows is not acceptable to Helen, Adam comes in and refers to the two women as 'the dairy celebrities', which pleases Susan. After complimenting them on their picture in the paper he tells them that Helen though it might be useful for him to remind himself what goes on in the dairy while Helen is still around. He doesn't want to get in the way, just to observe, and if they feel he is in the way they must tell him. When he offers to 'muck in' if he is wanted, Susan takes advantage of this to suggest that a job Clarrie can get on with alone doesn't need her as well; Clarrie restates her point that Helen likes it done this way with the two of them.

The sheep are being herded along the footpath through Grange Spinney [Did Eddie mean Church Spinney? No Grange Spinney on the maps. Chris] and once they are through the churchyard the next problem will be the bridge over the Am. However, as soon as the sheep are out of the confines of the footpath they spread out all over the churchyard, eating the flowers off the graves and getting into the porch. There is a funeral going on, and Ed and Eddie are keen to get past it quietly. Surprisingly, in spite of all the loud bleating and Brad shouting for Mia and Emma to come and help, nobody looks out to see what is happening.

Susan is still speaking for Clarrie as well as herself when she tells Adam what 'we both think' there could be changes; Clarrie asks whether they both do think that and is forbiddingly told that they do and had been discussing this before Adam came in, which in fact they hadn't: only Susan had mentioned anything of the sort and Clarrie had twice said she didn't want to change the way they did things. Susan keeps on trying to subvert Helen's organisation and persuade Adam to support her, while Clarrie continues to say that Helen likes things done in a certain way and they have discussed nothing with her. When Susan suggests that Adam will have his own way of managing, he does point out that he is only going to be in charge while Helen is on holiday, but Susan saying that Helen would be really happy if he managed to make improvements by the time she came back leads him to agree that he doubts Helen would object. Susan then offers to help Adam with some administrative jobs while Clarrie does on her own the work both women generally do, which leads Clarrie to protest, loudly. Susan talks about having some marketing ideas they could discuss while Clarrie pots the yoghurt, and how they will impress Helen with all these changes they will make. Clarrie crossly remarks that Helen is not on holiday yet and will need to be asked about this first, to which Susan airily replies that they have to let a manager (meaning Adam) manage. Tentatively he asks whether Clarrie could pot the yoghurt on her own, to which she doubtfully replies 'yes, but'; Susan at once greets this as a first managerial decision made. He then suggests, as a second one, that they all go to The Bull later for a drink. Both Susan and Clarrie seem pleased with that idea at least.

The sheep are still in the churchyard, some in the porch, and Eddie is amused at the thought of people coming out of a funeral and bumping into a grumpy ewe and her twins. [Hilarious. Like Alice at Nic's funeral. Gus.] Ed shouts at Brad for not knowing how to herd sheep [which is hardly Brad's fault, and seems ungrateful of Ed. Chris] and Eddie hopes they don't end up having to explain to Alan. After further argle-bargle, Ed picks up one of the lambs and the ewe follows where he takes it.

Because it is Burns Night, The Bull is, as Adam puts it, 'heaving', and because it is Burns Night Susan wants a Scotch. Clarrie is surprised because she's never seen Susan drink whisky before, but Susan says that now she is sixty there are a lot of new things she's been doing lately. When Adam asks what he can get Clarrie Susan says she will have a Scotch as well. Clarrie doesn't want a Scotch and says so, but Susan overrules her and Adam gets Scotch all round. Susan thinks that it looks as if they'll be able to have a bit of fun with Adam while Helen is away, and when Clarrie says she'd better not stay too long: Eddie will wonder where she is. Susan says let him wonder, and seems to have no such qualms about Neil. Adam comes back asking if they both fancy haggis with neeps and tatties for the whole Burns Night experience, and as Clarrie tries to refuse Susan says it sounds lovely and accepts for both of them. Adam goes to put the order in and Clarrie voices her doubts again, to be told to have a few hours without worrying about Eddie, or Ed, or Will: she's got to put herself first now and again; weakly, she supposes a few hours won't hurt. Susan says it is an unexpected treat and they deserve it.

The sheep are finally on the cricket field and Eddie says he'd better be getting back or Clarrie will be sending out a search party. Mia and Emma stopped to talk to Jim and distract him by asking him to be a model for the renew Show. Brad goes off to catch up with Mia and Ed tells Eddie he is still bricking it: supposing they get caught? Eddie says breezily that it will never happen. This has made Ed's mind up about the tree surgery: they are going to do it. Trees don't move, and they don't make a noise. All he needs is the money. Eddie tells him he deserves a bit of good luck, and Ed replies that he feels like it's coming his way.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 26th January, 2024

Hilda is moving on again, and a cliff-hanger really isn't.

Characters: Brian, Azra, Chelsea, Brad, Kenton, Jolene, Tony
Credited scriptwriter:
Caroline Jester
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

As he was ordered to do by Alice, Brian has gone to the doctor. He explains that what he has is not so much difficulty breathing as a tightening of the chest. She establishes that he has had that symptom for a week or so and is not out of breath, that he had an angina attack eighteen months ago but this doesn't feel the same, and that his wife having died a year ago this week may have heightened his daughter's anxiety. She also hears he is otherwise in good health and is sure his daughter is worrying over nothing. Azra feels one should take these things seriously, but hopes to rule out some things and get to the bottom of it all.

His interminable search for 'evidence' has led Brad to go through his grandfather's things, where Chelsea catches him. It's safe because Grandad is already out, having followed Mum to The Bull. Apparently the drawer Brad is going through contains dirty socks and unpaid parking fines. [Whose? Does Bert still drive? Chris.] Chelsea tells him he just needs to fix it so Grandad wins, because Bert is threatening to boycott The Bull if he doesn't, and put a dartboard up in the house and invite all his mates round. Brad says gloomily that he has already hung up the dartboard, and very nearly hit Brad with a dart in the living room yesterday when Brad got back from the sheep. Chelsea asks whether he has something to do with the sheep everyone's talking about: Mum said that a load of sheep were dumped on the cricket field. Is this what Ed and Eddie were on about? Brad denies knowing anything about any sheep, and Chelsea says she will keep quiet as long as he sorts something with Grandad; he accuses her of blackmail, and she retorts that she is protecting him from having darts thrown at him. He is going to have to tell Kenton and Jolene that he couldn't do it and won't ask to be paid; Chelsea isn't having that, since she reckons they should pay him extra for all the hours he's put in and the stress they put him under. When he says he will go and tell them now so they have time to sort something before tonight, she says she is going too: she will tell them Mum will have something to say when she hears they have put Brad's whole future at risk. If they don't make Grandad win they'll have Mum to deal with too. [Oooh, aggro from a part-time employee. They will be quaking in their shoes. Or maybe they will simply let her go if she gets offensive. Chris.]

After doing an array of simple tests, Azra says Brian's chest sounds clear and his heart seems OK, his pulse is regular and his blood-pressure is within normal range, good even. Brian says his daughter has told him the same when she calls round to to check his own readings, and Azra says there is no need to check every day; Brian asks her to put that in writing for Alice. More questions establish that he gets no pain in neck or arm and no nausea, and nor is the tightness brought on by exertion; it fact he feels better when he is out and about. Azra leaps on that and asks if that is when he is outside; yes, he tells her, and then realises the feeling only happens when he is in the cottage. She asks if anything has changed at home recently, and he tells her his other daughter has moved in with him, and his mother-in-law has forced her cat on him. Azra tells him that his symptoms do all seem to fit with an allergy, and asks if he is allergic to anything: not that he knows of. She is going to book him in for a blood-test just to make sure, and prescribe him an inhaler and some anti-histamines in the mean time. Enlightened, he asks if it is all Hilda's fault then; Azra assumes Hilda is his mother-in-law.

Kenton and Jolene are worrying because they still don't have a winner and the bar is filling up, presumably with people who [unlike the listeners, who couldn't care less. Chris] want to know who it is. Jolene is feeling bad about Brad having done all that work, while Kenton is exasperated at his having been paid for a job he didn't do; he is also aware that Chelsea was trying to pull a fast one and make Bert the winner. Jolene suggests making them both winners, but Kenton is outraged at the idea of each of them getting a free pint a night till he dies: they are not letting a pair of old cheats drink away their profits. He does however have an idea.

Armed with this new information about being allergic to cats, Brian has taken Hilda and all her accoutrements over to Bridge Farm to hand over to Tony, who not only doesn't want her, but thinks Brian may not be telling the truth about his allergic reaction to her: he won't know for sure until the blood-tests come back. He can't see how Brian could have got to the age of eighty without discovered about an allergy already. After considerable argument, punctuated by Hilda yowling in her box, Tony gives way and agrees to take her, although Pat will not be happy. He then tries to feed her a meat-stick chew, and gets bitten.

Chelsea and Brad are having a free meal at The Bull, though Brad would rather have gone to see Mia. When Tony and Brian come in they are surprised it is so busy, and Brian goes to get Tony a double Scotch to help with the pain, and suggests Tony might need some antibiotics; Tony thinks he might need treatment now, because if he's not hallucinating with a fever why did he see the cricket ground full of sheep? [On the way from Bridge Farm to The Bull? That must have been using a periscope: the village is in the way. Chris.] Jolene then rings a bell and announces that the moment they have all been waiting for is upon them; Kenton takes over and says it has been one of the hardest things he's ever had to decide in his life, and Jolene says that because it's been such a hard decision they have decided not to make a decision. They are going to toss a coin. Brad makes an outraged remark about 'after all you put me through', and Tony is asked to check that the coin Kenton is about to throw has a head and a tail; he verifies that it does. Kenton says heads for Neville, tails for Bert, Jolene tries to ramp up the suspense a bit more by saying it is the moment we have all been waiting for and demanding a drum-roll, Kenton spins the coin rather than tossing it, and as it settles and Jolene is about to say who will get a free pint every day for life there is a sharp fizzing noise and the lights go out. [Whenever a breaker has tripped in any place I have been, the lights have gone out without any sound-effects. Chris.]

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 28th January, 2024

It's Pete the Sparks to the rescue, but sparks fly between Mia and Lilian.

Characters: Jolene, Kenton, Mia, Fallon, Lilian
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Julie Beckett
Editor: Jeremy Howe

At The Bull they have no power in the kitchen, restaurant or the main bar, though the flat upstairs is OK. Jolene and Kenton have not managed to find an electrician in the time since Friday evening and are getting to the point at which they would even be grateful for a friend of Eddie's if he turned up, but he is too busy; Kenton refuses to pay for one of the big companies because that would be too expensive. Some of the wiring is pretty old, apparently [but it would all have had to be renewed in 2015 after The Bull was flooded. Chris]. It turns out that each thought the other was going to ask Lilian whether she has a tame electrician working for Amside Properties and so neither did; Kenton will ring her at once.

Finding a new home for the Renew event is on Mia's mind, but Fallon is not able to help with the tea-room premises because Friday is the day of the christening party arranged by Natasha. In any case she is sure Jolene will have got The Bull fine by Friday. Mia hasn't asked at the pub itself but is whinging because the sign outside says 'closed due to unforeseen circumstances' and she doesn't know what is happening. She reports progress to Fallon: Eddie will model. Fallon responds that Lynda found the costume rails under the stage of the village hall, so Mia can cross that off her list. They now have to decide which garments will be modelled and which will go on the rails, and how they are pricing everything; Fallon is in favour of keeping things cheap. Mia feels they need to go through the donated clothes in the Bull storeroom and make their decisions, and there is quite a lot of stuff at Number One The Green, which Will minds [but has presumably been bludgeoned into putting up with. Chris.] Lily has a detailed plan for the choreography and has created a gigantic mood board at Lower Loxley and keeps sending Mia pictures; she plans to project scenic backdrops behind the models, and wants to do a better job than she made of fashion show at college. Freddie has sent Mia another playlist but keeps changing his mind. Fallon is glad people are doing what they have said they will, but Mia feels the show doesn't need over-complicating. Fallon having agreed that she would help sort the clothes at The Bull on her afternoon off, Mia pushes for them to go and do that now.

Kenton meets Jolene as she arrives in her car from arranging a venue for the evening's darts match, and Lilian joins them saying the sheep are still on the cricket ground; also that she can't think why they didn't ask her earlier and her electrician, Pete, is popping over now to have a look. They are very grateful, and he turns up just as Lilian is saying that since they have to pay Emma and Tracy for their shifts whether the pub is open or not, there must be a million jobs the bar staff could get on with in the parts where the lights are working.

There is a lot more clothing than Fallon had expected and she and Mia set out to out it into "excellent', 'good', 'fair', and 'not in a million years'. There will also be a category for 'damaged but fixable', in keeping with the show's ethos. Mia suggests pricing items as they go along, since she has labels and pens. They have so much that they may have to put some of it on line; Mia only wants the truly rubbish stuff going for rags. Fallon tells her that when she looked on the website earlier, she found that the show was nearly sold out; she congratulates Mia on having taken it to the next level from Lilian's vague plan. One of Mia's lecturers, a Mrs Jenson, is bringing loads of other teachers, which slightly alarms Mia: they can be super-critical. Lilian then discovers them and tells them that the electrician is still having a look but there's too much rolling of eyes and sucking of teeth for Lilian's liking. Mia assumes she has come to help them and offers to show her what goes in which box, but no, that isn't what Lilian is there for, though she promises to bring over clothes from her attic. What she did want to mention is the programme: when the two workers express surprise she explains that she means a programme for the show so that people can see what's going on and how the pricing works and so on. She will need some blurb from Mia, who immediately says dismissively that she doesn't have time for that. Fallon is sure they can knock something up between them, and Lilian says that she will pay to have it printed, on nice glossy paper, full colour; Fallon is happy with this, and Lilian comments that it won't be cheap but she thought it would lend that certain je ne sais quoi to the proceedings and she can ask her usual designer to knock something up. Mia interrupts with a flat 'no'; they can't have any paper. It's a sustainable fashion event. Fallon audibly expresses disappointment, and then explains they've done all the ticketing and promotion on line, but then Mia can't leave well enough alone and repeats that they don't want paper. Lilian says that she didn't realise, and Mia further puts her foot in it by saying that she would have thought that was obvious, at which Fallon utters a warning 'Mia!' and Lilian remarks that perhaps it is to her, darling. Fallon tries to smooth things over by saying it's a kind offer, and Mia grudgingly supposes they could put a schedule up on line, something she clearly had not thought necessary until now. Lilian pointedly wonders how older people will access it and when Mia says 'on their phones' points out that phones are small and older people's eyesight might not cope – and that's if they have a smart phone. Mia's plan doesn't sound very, um, inclusive. In fact, she would say it's ageist. Mia doesn't at all like having her own tactics used against her and fires up indignantly, but Lilian hasn't finished: she assumes they want the event to be accessible to older people. Mia triumphantly rejoins that it is upstairs at The Bull so they need to be able to get up there for a start so they can't be that decrepit; Fallon tries again to call her to order. [Clearly, if they don't have the right sort of phone and 20/20 eyesight they won't have heard about it and won't have been able to get a ticket, so they are of no importance whatever to Mia. Chris.] Lilian rather curtly informs Mia that they do actually want this show to be for everyone and be a great night out in The Bull, and when Mia wants to know what she means by that, rather cruelly says 'not like bonfire night, for instance'. Mia stridently denies that was her fault; Lilian remarks that it caused a lot of people a lot of hassle and she has to go and speak to her electrician, and starts to leave, then adds that on reflection, someone will have to fetch the clothes she is donating; she has a busy week in front of her and won't have the time to spare. As she sweeps out, Mia exclaims loudly that she has a cheek, and Fallon shushes her. Mia wants to know how come Lilian thinks she can speak to Mia like that, and when Fallon points out that Mia was a bit rude, Mia is incredulous. Fallon follows up by saying Lilian was only trying to help.

Kenton and Jolene are having coffee and discussing the electrician's news: it's not all the wiring, but Kenton reckons that even a partial rewire will be extortionate and is dreading his quote. Jolene reminds him that it is Pete or no-one, to which he reluctantly agrees. Pete also says they need a new distribution board. Jolene wonders whether if he starts tomorrow there is a fighting chance he'll finish before the Renew fashion show on Friday; Kenton says Pete reckons it is touch and go. Jolene very much hopes it can go ahead: it will be a great help to them financially if it does. Kenton is dispirited about the disruption, with floorboards up and dust and drilling everywhere and Pete and his guys trailing around the place; Jolene tries to be more upbeat and suggests that after it's been done it will be better than before, because it shouldn't happen again. She postulates the horror of the electrics blowing in the middle of the show on Friday; Kenton says it was bad enough that it happened when it did, and admits he hasn't yet told either Neville or Bert that Neville won. Jolene remarks realistically that anyway, they haven't got a lot of choice: pretty much whatever price Pete comes up with they'll have to say yes.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 29th January, 2024

A bit of The Bull is open, and a mysterious stranger comes in for a drink.

Characters: Emma, Tracy, Eddie, Jolene, Kenton, A Stranger (?Markie)
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Julie Beckett
Editor: Jeremy Howe

One of the tasks for the bar staff turns out to be washing Jolene's car, which Tracy is getting on with while Emma cleans the windows and makes the electricians a cuppa; she doesn't know when the windows were last cleaned. Open-hearted Tracy feels that anything they can do to help Kenton and Jolene at the moment is a good idea; Emma, less generously, reckons that since they are being paid they might as well do what they're asked. There are only two electricians, Pete being the main one; he seems a really cautious type. Tracy thinks cautious sounds right for an electrician but Emma is not sure he's a man in a hurry. If they're not finished by Friday, Mia's show will get cancelled, and she's in a right state about it according to Brad. She fell out with Lilian yesterday; Emma has heard, and points out that she isn't used to organising anything like this and the annoyance of people messing her about and changing their minds, which is par for the course. Molly and Tilly Button, who never have a kind word for each other, had a slanging match when she went over to see them. Eddie then greets them with 'Afternoon ladies' and asks how it's going, complains the village ain't the village without the pub, and tells them they ought to speed up the electricians, though he has no idea how this could be done. He hopes one of them will pass a message on to Mia: she is staying with them at Grange Farm but he must have missed her this morning because he was shifting the Texels back. Anyroad, he can't be a model any more. Mike Tucker has asked him to go to Birmingham and help with a landscaping job for a few days on Friday and Saturday. Both women indignantly refuse to help him: he can do his own dirty work. He retreats, saying Mia will kill him, and Tracy and Emma sympathise with Mia: that's all she needs. Except that if the electricians don't get a move on she won't have a show to worry about: Eddie is right and they need to encourage the electricians to speed up. They contemplate extra caffeine as being worth a try, and chocolate cake.

Indoors, to the sound of distant electric drills, Kenton and Jolene are looking at the mess in the pub and planning to cover things with dust-sheets to minimise the cleaning after the job is done. They have power in the Ploughman's, though none of the beer taps, and the toilets are OK; they could open that one bar and serve bottled beer, cider and soft drinks. They'll need to keep people away from the disruption: block off the rest of the pub, put up signage, and even if they only get in a few locals every penny counts. [I think it is high time the electrics in that place are sorted out! Random rooms on the same floor being on different circuits is poor wiring practice. Chris]

A small water-fight has broken out between Tracy and Emma, because Emma hasn't helped wash the car; as Tracy squeezes her sponge over Emma the car's alarm goes off again, and Jolene comes to investigate, laugh at them and then tell them to go and get changed because they are going to open the Ploughman's tonight. Kenton thinks it's a shame they didn't have time to wash his car too; while they go home to spread the word about opening and get the bubbles out of their hair, he goes to stock up the bar ready to open it..

Tracy serves Neville with his lager, and Emma comes back to the bar flabbergasted by a stranger having given her a fiver for taking drinks over to his party; this will go in the tips jar and be split at the end of the evening. It is, as Tracy says, 'just busy enough', and they even have some passing trade, flashing the cash. Eddie comes in and, groaning, asks for Valium; Mia went ballistic. Jolene is happy about the turnout and reckons it was definitely worth opening; she suggests cider for Eddie, which he proposes to drink straight from the bottle. Then the bloke who gave Emma the fiver comes over, and Jolene abruptly has to leave the two barmaids in charge as she goes to fetch some more mixers. The stranger wants to buy some crisps, one bag of each sort; six, and seven if this chap wants some. Eddie is surprised and thanks him, asking Emma for smoky bacon. The stranger remarks that it's a decent little boozer they've got here [and a million listeners add 'be a shame if something ... happened to it.' Chris] and Eddie says that he likes it, while Tracy asserts it's the best pub for miles around. Eddie asks if he's stopping round there, but no: they were passing through and clocked the sign. Great little spot: nice and quiet, adds the anonymous one; just right. Tracy hands over the crisps, Emma asks him for six pounds thirty, and he passes over a note and tells them to keep the change: it's good to see some smiling faces, it makes all the difference.

Kenton and Jolene, meeting as they throw out bottles, congratulate themselves for their decision to open one bar. People are really enjoying themselves. Jolene supposes she thought tonight would be them and a few locals; Kenton thinks it fantastic to get some outsiders too. He reckons those guys are more than doubling their profits. [Do we think he means 'takings'? Gus.] According to Jolene it didn't look as if they were coming in: they were outside for ages. Kenton is glad they did: their little re-wire is going to take some paying for. He goes back in without her.

The stranger asks if Tracy's mate has clocked off, but no, her boss is collecting empties. He asks when they are getting the draught back on, and is told that will be when they've fixed the electrics, which went Pop on Friday night. He sympathises about them not being open for a few days. Kenton joins in to say the lights went out in the middle of the 'longest drinker' competition, when his wife Jolene was about to announce it; Tracy says her dad was reaching out for his prize as the lights went out. Kenton muses that they should do the announcement tonight, since both Bert and Neville are here, and the stranger asks Tracy whether that is her dad, sitting over in the corner. When she tells him that it is, he tells Kenton to watch his step: that guy has got to win or Kenton is a gonner. Tracy and Kenton laugh this off, and the stranger says they'll be off after these, and hands Tracy another tip before taking the drinks away. Jolene then comes in and Kenton wants her to announce the winner of the 'longest drinker', but she doesn't want to and offers to take more empties for recycling, so Kenton does an announcement in his usual bombastic style: the winner is Neville Booth.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 30th January, 2024

Mia goes too far, and there is a cliffhanger.

Characters: Susan, Mia, Brad, Kenton, Tracy, Jolene, loud dogs
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Julie Beckett
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Although Susan has made an effort to find them, Mia complains that three boxes will not be enough; Susan says that when she gets more she will drop Mia a text. Mia realises that Susan was not pleased by the way she spoke, and explains that she is still fuming about Eddie dropping out. If she got a job now, could she just forget about organising the show? Susan concedes that she could if she had to. Someone else could then take over, and it's the same for Eddie: another older chap has to take his place. Mia is vocal about having tried everyone and how much they need to sell the clothing for older gents; Susan briskly tells her that she'll just have to keep trying and Susan has to get on. When Brad comes in he is greeted by Mia saying 'at last' rather than seeming glad to see him, and following that with a sharp 'Where have you been?' His excuse, that a lecture ran over but he got the first bus back, is not acceptable: he was supposed to be helping her. Susan points out that he's here now, but he makes matters worse by telling Mia that Chelsea is all riled up: he he's had a text from her saying that Mia told Molly and Tilly what Chelsea said about their hair. Mia indignantly protests that all she said was that Chelsea will need plenty of time with them both; Brad informs her that they have apparently been messaging Chelsea all day accusing her of bad-mouthing them. Mia's first instinct is to reiterate that she didn't, but she then realises she had better call Chelsea and explain, because Chelsea may be a pain but she is the only one who's properly prepared. Brad says firmly that Mia definitely doesn't want to fall out with her. Susan remarks that Lilian was in earlier saying that someone needs to pick up her bag of clothes from the Dower House; she didn't look very happy either. Mia embarks on defensively saying that she can't help it if Lilian doesn't understand paper isn't sustainable, and as she gets shrill Susan suggests she should take a little break and try not to get so worked up about the show, but Mia is beyond this reasonable suggestion: how can she, when she still has no model for the older blokes' clothes? Brad suggests Neil, Susan says that he is too busy constructing the cat-walk, and Mia puts her foot in it again by saying he hasn't got the right look at all. She then makes matters worse by conceding that she is desperate now, and asking Susan to ask him for her. Susan is deeply affronted and points out that she has already said he is far too busy, before flouncing off to check the morning's deliveries; Brad rather ruefully says Mia has upset her now as well. Mia ignores this to tell him that her tutor, Mrs Jenson, is coming to the show along with the rest of the department; this has clearly added more pressure, because Mia is afraid they will judge her on it. This thought reduces her almost to tears. Brad tells her firmly the show will be amazing, and takes the boxes, saying they can get started at Will's: Jazzer says if they sort out another load for charity shops he will take them tomorrow. Mia complains but does as he suggests.

It was such a good night at The Bull that Kenton is think of expanding into the beer-garden, and to this end he wants Tracy to clean it all up. Brad sends her a message about Mia needing a senior male model, and Kenton points out that she hasn't asked him; Tracy responds that he will be busy behind the bar, but he volunteers anyway: it will be fine if Lilian mucks in. The only problem he sees is that he's not the right age-group, and he can act older, can't he? He confides that the secret is connecting with the older wives, because they buy the clothes for their husbands, then goes off to find a broom for her, saying that she might need a scrubbing brush as well, to get the bird mess off the tables.

Brad gives the news to Mia that Kenton will do the modelling, and although she doesn't sound at all pleased she assures Brad that she is. She instructs Brad to find things for the younger people and put them on the rail next to his green velvet suit, and when he finds what he thinks looks like a proper gangster hat she tells him it will look amazing with the suit, which she loves – and he clearly doesn't at all, saying that whoever buys it will be welcome. She tells him not to worry: someone will see him in it and they'll buy it straight away. He laughs and says he won't be wearing it, and she tells him that of course he will. From these unfortunate cross-purposes, a row springs up: Brad is determined he is not going on stage in front of a lot of strangers, and she tells him that he has to model it and that's that. Apparently it's not, because he's not doing it. She says she is asking him to, so he has to: has he forgotten already that they said they'd do anything for each other? He ends up saying it's just a little village event, and she goes off the deep end: not to her, and if that's all he thinks it is, why is he there? There's no point staying if he doesn't want to help. Go on: get out. She doesn't need him anyway. When he says he doesn't get this, she squawks that is the problem right there, and when he says all right, he'll go, she tells him to go on then. He leaves, slamming the door behind him as she shouts incoherently at him.

Because Tracy is busy sweeping the beer-garden, Susan has taken the electricians their double espressos, and been astonished by the amount of caffeine they must be getting through, but Tracy and Emma reckon it's increased their work-rate and they've got to have it finished by Friday. Not if they have a coronary first, according to Susan. She is only there to have a moan about Mia; the insult to Neil clearly rankles. Tracy is not all that interested but makes the right noises of agreement as she works, until eventually she feels she has to point out that Mia is dating her son. Susan apologises, but declines to help by scrubbing tables.

After the session Kenton and Jolene, alone in the pub, are tidying up and once more congratulating themselves on the success of the evening. Jolene happens to look out of the window overlooking the car-park and sees some vans parked at the far end, with a couple of trailers; she noticed them pulling in about ten minutes ago. She doesn't like the look of them, and she might just give the police a ring; she goes to fetch her phone from upstairs, though Kenton thinks that is an over-reaction and they probably just need directions. He opens the door and calls to know whether the 'lads' are lost, then whistles to get attention and shouts that this is private property; he calls up to let Jolene know he will see what is going on. At least two dogs are barking, and he approaches the vans saying that he's sorry, they can't stay there. An ominous growl and yapping rise, and he starts to scream.

Jolene comes down saying that the police are going to drive past shortly, and realises that Kenton is not in the bar. An engine starts and a vehicle drives off as she runs outside calling for him.

At least one more vehicle revs up and leaves as she finds Kenton moaning on the ground. She tells him she is here now and he's safe, and she's going to get help. Now clearly on the phone, she says, 'Police. Ambulance. To The Bull pub in Ambridge. It's my husband. He's been attacked by a dog." and becomes incoherent, gasping about big, vicious and blood everywhere, while Kenton whimpers. She ends by beseeching them please to come now.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 31st January, 2024

Kenton's on a drip; Susan and Chelsea are shallow as puddles.

Characters: Jolene, David, Kenton, Susan, Lilian, Chelsea
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Julie Beckett
Editor: Jeremy Howe

In the hospital [at an unspecified time after the end of Tuesday's episode, and in an unspecified location within the hospital. Chris] Jolene is holding a cup for Kenton to drink from when David turns up, presumably at her request since she is unsurprised to see him. He says he would have come straight away if he'd known, and Jolene mutters there would have been no point all of them sat in A&E. David asks Kenton how he feels, and when Kenton says 'OK' tells him he doesn't look it and asks what the hell happened. With difficulty Kenton tells him it was 'damn... dog...' and then starts coughing. David says they must be shattered, the pair of them, then asks what kind of dog. Jolene explains that Kenton wasn't sure, but heavy, and strong, and ferocious; Kenton grunts and coughs again, and she says 'sorry' to him, then explains to David that after they finished clearing up she spotted a couple of vans with trailers in the car-park with their lights on and it didn't feel right, so she went to phone the police and Kenton must have gone out to speak to them. When she came out she could hear barking and Kenton ... David is shocked: they actually set a dog on him? [Don't sound so surprised, David; you know you've wanted to. Gus.] Jolene says they don't know; it might have broken free. The blokes had got it off him and were scarpering by the time she got across the car-park. David mentions that she was hardly going to be jotting down number-plates. She says she thought Kenton was dead. Kenton grates out 'awful... poor you...' Jolene explains that Kenton is on an antibiotic drip and they've cleaned and dressed his wounds; the dog got both his legs, quite deep in his right thigh, and also his side. She and David discuss Kenton's treatment so far: they had to do a transfusion; when Kenton tries to comment, Jolene tells him to close his eyes and try to rest. Jolene thanks God she didn't see it happen; Kenton said it was like a wild animal, totally out of control. David reckons they'd better find it and put it down quickly: what he describes as 'that monster' is not just dangerous, it's a deadly weapon. Jolene is pretty sure she heard other dogs barking, in the trailers, but there was a lot going on at the time. David suggests they will need to increase the pub security, [though neither he nor Jolene suggests how. Maybe CCTV cameras with backup batteries would be an idea. Chris] though it's unlikely anything like this will happen again. It goes to show that anything can happen to any of us. Any time, adds Jolene.

The exciting events at The Bull are food for talk in the village; Susan and Lilian are exclaiming over how awful it all was. Susan has come with Chelsea to collect Lilian's old clothes, and is very impressed with them. Lilian leaves it to them to go through them and take whatever they think they can sell, which Susan reckons will be all of it; Lilian herself has to go and meet up with Harrison to see if there is anything on the pub CCTV, but tells Susan before she goes that Kenton is in agony but Jolene says that with all the medication he's on he is coping. She will send Susan and Chelsea's best, and a comparison between scary big dogs and cute little Ruby is drawn by Chelsea. Lilian is not looking forward to what she has to do, and Susan recommends letting Harrison watch the footage on his own. Left alone, Susan and Chelsea settle down to go through the clothes; Susan reminds Chelsea it isn't a trying-on session and they are simply there to transport the clothes.

When it comes to looking at the CCTV footage, 4pm on Monday is fine, and Lilian leaves Harrison to it before he starts to look at the footage which might be of use. He'd rather not see it himself, but locating that dog is priority number one. She is about to check on the electricians, who have been drilling in the background [bunch of bleedin' termites, they are, always drillin' That ol' pub must be as full of holes as an Esrom cheese. Chris], when Harrison discovers there is no footage at all for Tuesday. It dawns on Lilian that Pete has had to switch off some of the power because of the rewiring.

Susan has fallen for a kimono, while Chelsea has put on a shirt that fits her really well. Chelsea admits to buying stuff for parties, wearing it on the one occasion and then sending it back for a refund, which Susan finds dishonest but Chelsea claims is sustainable behaviour: it won't be being thrown away. And Susan is starting to sound like Mia, who is getting right on Chelsea's... up Chelsea's nose. She reckons it would be better if the row with Brad is terminal, not just a blip; he blubbed for hours. Susan calls them back to order: they have to get the stuff over to Will's place, though she is wondering if they can't stake their claim to some of it; as they are giggling over this idea Ruby barks, and Lilian comes in and asks what in heaven's name is going on.

On the phone to Jolene, Harrison explains there is no CCTV footage of the attack on Kenton, then says people are asking: is the 'Re-New' Fashion Show going ahead? She tells him they are still hoping the pub will be ready in time, but he is wondering if it won't be too much for them after what has happened. David reckons that's a point, but Kenton strongly urges her to go ahead; he's sure. Harrison agrees to get Fallon to let people know, and he'll see them soon. Jolene agrees with Kenton: they can do it without her and Kenton, because Lilian will be on it. She then yawns enormously and David says she is exhausted: how about he takes her home? She protests that she doesn't want to leave him, and Kenton piteously (and in a far stronger voice than he has said anything else so far) begs her 'no no no please don't go'; David however points out to Kenton that poor Jolene can hardly keep her eyes open, and Kenton at his normal volume and tone says 'Yeah, I know, but I I I'. Jolene assures him that he is safe, and David says he will bring her back first thing tomorrow morning but she honestly can't function like this. They are both in shock and they both need to rest; he's sorry, Kenton, but he is going to take Kenton's wife home.

Lilian turns out not to be angry at all, but delighted that her old clothes will be worn, coming alive again not stuck in a box. She tells Susan and Chelsea the occasions on which they were bought or worn and Susan describes them as pre-loved clothes because someone else has loved them before. Lilian admits that remembering Jennifer's death a year ago has been making her short-tempered, not least with Mia, and she's not feeling very proud of herself. Chelsea reassures her that from what she has heard, Mia was short with Lilian too, but Lilian expects she was getting frazzled with the show. Susan adds that they need a male model again now that Kenton's in hospital, but it seems that Chelsea and Brad have an idea about that. Susan suggests that even if the electrics are fixed the show might get cancelled out of respect for Kenton [only if he takes a turn for dead, surely? Gus], but Lilian tells them that Fallon has just texted to say that Kenton has been very insistent that the show must go on.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 1st February, 2024

Shula has come to see for herself, and Vince sees straight through Jolene.

Characters: Fallon, Jolene, Shula, Vince, Kenton
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Julie Beckett
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Back at the hospital again, Jolene is phoned by Fallon, who wants to know whether she should come to the hospital; Jolene tells her not to because she has the big christening do for Natasha's mate to cater for tomorrow. In any case Kenton is a bit brighter today, plus Emma is already busy with the Renew Fashion Show; Tracy and Emma are policing the re-wiring at The Bull and they'll make sure Pete's life won't be worth living if he lets everyone down. Shula suddenly appears and Jolene rings off in a flurry: they were not expecting Shula but Jolene is really glad she's there and Kenton will be delighted. Vince, who gave her a lift in, explains that they were a bit worried when Kenton wasn't where Elizabeth had said he would be, and Jolene tells them he was moved this morning into a private room.

As they get into his room she further explains that the pain-killers are making him a bit woozy, and Shula is shocked by how helpless he looks; he is surprised to see her and wonders what she is doing there when he said not to come. She wanted to make sure he was still alive, and booked her train the minute she heard – he'd have done the same. She exclaims about not being able to bear to see him like this and he cheerfully points out the dog didn't get his face so she can be grateful for that; she says she will try. [It didn't get his bollocks either. Hmmm. Gus.] Vince tells him that Elizabeth will be over again this evening and comments that Kenton looks like he's done twelve rounds in the ring, which Jolene says they are attributing his bruises to the fall; Vince, still not succumbing to the general woe, says that it's nice to see he's nabbed his own room. Jolene has told Kenton there is a picturesque view of the bus stop, not that Kenton can see it from his bed; Vince cheerily remarks that he is missing plenty of bus action. Kenton is concerned: they can't let Mum come in to see him. Shula reassures him that she has a bit of a cold and David has told her she mustn't risk it. Kenton has spoken to her on the phone so she knows he's OK in himself. Jolene volunteers to go and get everyone coffee: cappuccinos all round? As she gets up Jolene drops her phone, but it is not broken. She warns them there can be a bit of a queue, and goes on her errand.

When she is gone, Vince asks if Kenton has any idea who it was (he doesn't) and Shula asks if Jolene is OK; Kenton says it's been a lot for her, with which Shula agrees. Vince reckons it's too bad their CCTV was off-line, and when he had a chat with Harrison it sounded as if the police are pushing for a full investigation because of the dog [eh? Chris], about which animal he is very unflattering; Kenton must have been frightened seeing it rushing towards him. Kenton starts to choke and Shula quickly says they don't need to talk about that now; Vince apologises. He then offers to go and help Jolene with the coffees. Left alone with Kenton, Shula says this is her now, and demands to know how he is really.

Near the cafeteria Vince discovers Jolene, who is not fetching coffees but just sitting on her own; he looked everywhere. She apologises; the queue was so long she thought she'd give it a few minutes. He says he'll join her, if she doesn't mind; he thinks Kenton and Shula need a bit of time together. He then informs her that she looks nearly as bad as Kenton, and it must have been terrifying seeing him like that; she protests that she is just tired, then lets him know that she was very upset because she couldn't help Kenton, she didn't know how to. Vince reasonably says that she called the ambulance: what else could she do? She carries on as if he hadn't spoken: there was so much blood! And today he looks grey; he's aged ten years. Vince is soothing: it's bound to be up and down, but he's in good hands. He then invites her to tell him to mind his own business, but he's thinking there's something else? She says she just wants Kenton to be OK, and he reminds her that they all do, and the doctors say he will be, so right at this moment Vince is more concerned about her. By promising not to blab to Elizabeth, and refusing to give up, he gets a sorry tale out of her: initially she says she is too scared to tell him, and then that she is terrified this is just the beginning of an even worse nightmare because she thinks she might know who it was. She hopes she's wrong, but if she's not then it could be really bad.

Apparently Kenton is looking at further surgery, because the wound in his right thigh is deep and there's muscle damage; the plastic surgery team need to sort it for him. Shula asks when they will do that and he tells her he's on the list for tomorrow and she is encouraging: it's better if they do it all now, and then he can just focus on getting better. When she tries to brighten the mood by mentioning Jolene having brought in his head-phones, and when he says he was hoping to block out some of the noise expresses relief that he is now in a side room and should get some peace; he explains that it was the other patients who needed some peace, because he kept shouting out in his sleep and that's why they moved him. He thought the headphones might block out his flashbacks of hearing the dog coming for him. Shula hopes they find that dog before it kills someone. Then she apologises because she's supposed to be cheering him up and he asks her to tell him about Sunderland: he really needs something else to think about. It seems that she is having an amazing time.

It's only one of the gang that Jolene is afraid she knows. She explains that some guys from the Black Country turned up in the Ploughman's on Monday; she got a quick glimpse of one of them when he came up to the bar and then she steered clear because a lot of alarm bells were ringing. Vince asks where she thought she knew him from, and she recounts an incident when the band she was fronting were touring Wolverhampton way, and the atmosphere went bad when a guy started climbing on the stage and heading her way; she thinks this was the same guy. The bouncers intervened and there was a fight outside with chains and knives; the band locked themselves in the dressing room and waited for the police. A week later, the venue burned to the ground. Vince can see why she is jumpy: has she told the police? No, because she isn't sure [and in any case told them what? That she thinks someone whose name she doesn't know and who did something bad more than thirty years ago might have been involved? I'm sure they would thank her for that! Chris] and everyone said how nice they were on Monday. Vince remains sure that kind of scum don't need protecting by Jolene, and if they've got a dog like that they need to be found and prosecuted; plus, the dog needs a bullet in its head, he adds with emphasis. Kenton could have been killed. Jolene knows that. He suggests that she could tell them anonymously, through Crimeline or something, but she is afraid that if there is any kind of tip off and it was him, he might realise it was her – and they are talking really vicious types here. They left one of the bouncers for dead! She can't risk saying anything, because it could get a hundred times worse for her, for them both. And the pub; Vince sees what she's saying. So the big question, Vince ponders, is, did he recognise Jolene? She says she kept her distance and doesn't think so, but yes, what if he did? She's petrified. He mustn't tell anyone, please, he can't. He reminds her he promised to say nothing, but listen: he's done a lot of business in the Black Country over the years and he could put out some feelers, see if anyone's heard of this crim. She is unsure and says he'd have to be careful: well, of course, he rejoins. He's heard there's some shady dog-trading over that way and maybe that's what was going on in her car-park. It's a disgusting business and they deserve to be caught. No-one should have to go through what Kenton has.

The sudden arrival of Fallon breaks up this scene; she asks whether they've had their coffees and, after saying that she thinks Kenton looks brighter now Shula is here, tells them the queue isn't too bad and says she will get into it for them. She goes to do that and Vince says it might take a while because he can't rush if they want to keep it under the radar, which makes Jolene tell him that she really appreciates it but also implore him not to make it worse. He tells her reassuringly not to worry and to leave it with him.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 2nd February, 2024

The show is – surprise! – a triumph. The plot – like Kenton – is pretty much a dog's dinner.

Characters: Kenton, Jolene, Emma, Chelsea, Mia, Brad, Markie (we assume)
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Julie Beckett
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The doctor has said that Kenton's surgery went completely to plan, and Jolene is very glad. So is Kenton, who had to be told this by her because he couldn't concentrate when the doctor was talking. He tells her that all he needs is to be back home with her and then he can cope with anything. [I think this may be Dramatic Irony, God help us all sa Tiny Tim. Chris.] It was lovely to see Shula yesterday, and listening to her talk about the work she is doing in Sunderland has made him aware of what a nice life they have in Ambridge [what did I say? Chris] and he is glad he is sharing it with Jolene. She shows him the pictures of the dress rehearsal for the show, which Mia has sent to her. The electrics at the pub were signed off this morning so the show is good to go; Kenton laughs about them having worried over the wiring, a lifetime ago. He is very regretful about having missed out on being the male model; Jolene has no idea who it is now. He suddenly notices the time and tells her she doesn't want to miss it and she had better go. She doesn't want to leave him, but he needs her to be at the show so she can tell him all about it. She offers to take loads of photos and show him tomorrow, but what he wants is for her to send them to his phone when she rings up afterwards to say goodnight. Saying goodnight helps him to sleep.

At The Bull, Emma and Chelsea are talking when Mia interrupts to ask where Brad is and why he hasn't come; Chelsea informs her that he is busy helping the Mystery Model. Emma can't wait to see people's faces when they find out who it is, but neither she nor Chelsea finds it necessary to tell Mia, though Chelsea does tell her that it is thanks to Brad they have that model at all so Mia owes him big time. She is to try not to upset him any more than she already has. Before Mia can fire up about this Emma tells her that she thinks Lily is waiting for Mia to tell her when they can start. Chelsea goes to check that Ben and Paul are ready to go on, and Emma says it's thirty seconds and counting. Mia is very nervous, so Emma calms her down; she saw the dress-rehearsal and it will be fine. Mia has put the programme up on a screen, and Lilian has apologised and seems happy with that, as well as thanking Mia for working so hard. Emma instructs her to give Lily a wave, and the music starts.

It turns out the Mystery Model is Bert Horrobin, in a wheelchair, and he is a great success, getting several encores. Jolene is delighted, especially since he swore he wasn't coming into The Bull again after he lost the longest drinker competition. When asked about Kenton she tells Brad he is pale, hurting, but on the mend – touch wood. Home very soon, they said. She is impressed that people were queuing up in the interval to buy the clothes; Chelsea gloats that half the stuff they modelled has gone: Susan for instance had everything she had modelled, especially what Lilian gave them, and Molly and Tilly were the same. Jolene reckons it doesn't matter who buys what so long as it goes, and thanks everyone for the amazing job they have done.

Emma has gone to find Mia and tell her that her teachers were at the bar raving about the show; Mia fails to be proud, and then bursts into tears; Emma realises it is about Brad and tries to comfort her before telling her that if she wants to make it up with him maybe she'll have to make the first move. Mia is shrilly indignant at the idea: why should she? He let her down! Gently, Emma points out that she asked Brad to go up on stage, and he would be completely unable to do that. Mia saying she would do it for him doesn't cut any ice with Emma, who tells her that in tough times you have to step up for each other but in normal life you both have to play to your strengths. She advises Mia not to be too full of herself to make the first move, not when she's found her soulmate.

The result of this is that Mia makes a point of finding Brad and sitting down with him outside; she wonders how he got Bert to be a model, to which Brad replies twenty quid, breakfast in bed for a week, and Brad will be doing Bert's share of washing up all month. Plus Chelsea bought him the cardigan he was modelling. Brad knew it was important to Mia. He then praises her speech, and they end up saying they are sorry simultaneously. They agree that they don't have to agree about everything and it doesn't matter if they don't, and the reconciliation ends with them professing mutual love and kissing each other.

The phone call to Kenton goes well, with Jolene telling him all about the triumph of the Show; he hopes to be there with her soon. As they talk, her car alarm goes off again, and Kenton bids her goodnight. She goes crossly out to shut the alarm down, but as she succeeds in doing so a hoarse voice tells her she'd best not turn round, and advises her by name to take it easy. Did she think he hadn't noticed her? He saw her looking over on Monday night, and then scuttling off to hide. She tries to pretend ignorance, but he's not having that; it was because she remembered him. Which is a shame because it complicates things a bit, especially after his mate's dog got out of hand. Jolene splutters and then says that she didn't see, she swears to him by the time she got outside... He's come to do her a favour, he claims, because he took a liking to her music back in the day. So keep it shut. Nothing about the dogs, nothing about him, right? She protests that she wouldn't, and he hopes not, or else it's payback time for her, and her boozer, and that loudmouth bloke of hers – Kenton, wasn't it? So she'll remember, eh? Keep it shut. She is clearly on the edge of hysteria but manages only to moan, not scream.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 4th February, 2024

Chris refuses a drink, Jolene refuses support, and Alice hasn't yet noticed she is going out with an alien.

Characters: Alice, Harry, Harrison, Fallon, Chris, Jolene
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

There are many sounds of horses breathing heavily; Alice and Harry are out for a ride. In fact, for a fund-raising ride; it's in aid of riders with disabilities. Alice regards this riding as 'such great therapy', and there is a good turnout so they ought to raise a fair amount of money. When Alice says that Shula is keen on Riding for the Disabled [which she has been actively supporting for years, with many disabled riders coming to The Stables. Chris] Harry repeats the name a few times as if he doesn't really believe in it, then remembers that she is one of Alice's many bosses, and when Alice says she only has three bosses tells her that as far as he is concerned that is three too many. Alice tells him she has booked a couple of hours off on Tuesday but is getting very nervous about meeting his mother for the first time; Harry met Brian for the first time at no notice and so didn't have time to worry about it. Harry assures her that his mother is going to love her, but as she is replying to him she is taken aback to see Chris's van beside the road.

Harrison is on his way to work and offers Fallon a lift, but Emma is covering the tea-room for the morning and Fallon plans to go next door and help Jolene for a bit. Harrison asks her to give her mother his love; Fallon is worried what effect finding Kenton as she did may have had on her, and he is full of sympathy. Fallon adds that Jolene is really stressing over Yorkshire Pudding Day today, which Harrison didn't know about; all the publicity went out ages ago and Wayne has done a special menu so Jolene didn't feel she could back out, so Fallon is going to help with the preparations. Harrison says that just her being there will be nice for Jolene, and has a thought: what would Fallon feel about them moving in with her for a few days, just until Kenton is back? There is plenty of space. Fallon agrees: they could use one of the old B&B rooms [which hadn't apparently existed all century, until now. Chris] They could stay longer if they were wanted, and it would mean there would always be someone on hand, especially at night. Fallon thinks the other things that would help would be getting those guys nicked: can Harrison have a word with whoever is on the investigation? He does his best to suggest that this is not necessary and would not be welcome but in the end agrees to do his best to get a feel for how things are going.

Beside the road, Chris is waiting for his forge to heat up; Rafe Sedgemoor's horse has cast a shoe [and Rafe and his horse are apparently not there, which is strange. Chris] even though Chris shod her a couple of weeks ago, about which Harry remarks you'd expect them to last longer than that; Chris responds that it's four weeks on average at this time of year and the other three look fine, so Harry explains to him that it is probably the mud that has done it, and then that it is handy the route crosses the route here, followed by asking if he came far; Chris says he only came from home but avoids telling him where 'home' is. He has left Martha with his mum and dad, which gives Harry the opportunity to say how good of him it is to give up his Sunday to help, and to ask if he is busy at the moment with hunters, and then with hunting winding down he'll have the show-jumping and the eventing season: no rest for the wicked, eh? [Chris nobly refrains from saying wtte 'yes, actually I do know that, thanks.' Chris.] When Chris says it suits him because he likes to work, Harry patronisingly asks where we would be without our farriers, such a noble profession: he's sure Chris will have Rafe back in the saddle in no time. Alice clearly finds this encounter, and Harry's would-be-jocular manner of speech to Chris, embarrassing.

The Bull is being fettled ready, with Fallon helping to lay out the tables. Before he was attacked Kenton sourced some Yorkshire Pudding bunting on line; Fallon thinks it's amazing. She asks if he also came up with the twenty questions about Yorkshire Pudding and whether the quiz is for fun or has a prize. Jolene is clearly a bit distracted and doesn't reply immediately, before admitting that with Kenton in hospital and the pub to run it's all a bit of a struggle. Fallon invites her to come and sit down while Fallon sorts out the bunting, saying that Jolene looks as if she hasn't slept; Jolene concedes that she didn't have a very good night. Fallon reminds her that everyone mucked in for the fashion show, because they've made The Bull into a real community pub, and Jolene changes the subject to Brad already regretting that he bribed Bert to be the mystery model; Fallon at once says they have built up a lot of goodwill, people know what's happened, and they'll cut them a bit of slack. Meantime she'll get Jolene a coffee and then they can try out the quiz. Jolene thanks her and says she appreciates what Fallon is doing.

Time has passed, and Chris has brought Martha, Neil and Susan to The Bull for lunch, but as a thank-you for them having Martha and not for the Yorkshire Puddings: they didn't know those were happening. Harrison encounters him at the bar and they chat for a bit, with Harrison trying and failing to con Chris into being in charge of indoor nets for the cricket team, and Chris speaking of Susan looking forward to Adam running the dairy instead of Helen; Harrison was pleased to hear that Helen will be taking a good wedge of time off because [all together now! Gus] after all she's been through, she deserves it. Jolene then comes over to take Chris's order, and Harrison tells her that when she has a moment he was hoping to have a word with her about the case; she at once asks him to wait out the back and she'll be with him as soon as she can. Just as Chris finishes ordering three Yorkshire Pudding Specials and one child's nuggets and chips, Alice comes in with Harry, who at once assures Chris that they really aren't stalking him. Jolene bustles off to put the order into the till and Alice asks where Martha is; when Chris says she is with his mum and dad over there Harry crows with delight and says that he can now meet Martha's grandparents at last. He also wants to buy Chris a drink for dropping everything to save the ride; Chris quite reasonably disclaims, on the grounds that he didn't really save the ride, and it was just one shoe, but Harry insists: what is he having? Alice tries to stop him, and Chris refuses the drink: it's not necessary.

Jolene finally manages to get outside to see Harrison, who tells her that he's had a word with his gaffer Inspector Norris, and after telling him to wind his neck in she said that investigations are ongoing and that the team are doing their best. He just wanted to pass that on. She thanks him and says that's good to hear, at least. He reminds her that they're keen to hear from her if there's any further information she considers might be relevant, for instance if she can think of anyone before or since the attack who has been acting suspiciously, or any unfamiliar customers she was worried about... She wants to know, 'worried' in what way, and he says anything, really: is there? After a pause she says nervously that there is nothing that she can remember. He reassures her that he is sure she's staying vigilant and if anything does come up she's got their number; she agrees heartily that she has, and asks if that's it; he then broaches his plan for him and Fallon to stay in the pub for a couple of days... Flatly, Jolene says 'no'. When he suggests it might make her feel a bit more secure while Kenton's not around she refuses again, this time with the addition of 'definitely not.' She doesn't want him there, or Fallon, neither of them, not staying over. He says it was just an idea, and they don't want to smother her; she thanks him for the thought, but she is fine. He reminds her that they are only next door, so if she is worried or she needs help in any way she is not to hesitate; she says she won't. And now she's sorry, but she needs to get back to work.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 5th February, 2024

Adam mansplains and is made a fool of, and Kenton makes a fool of himself all on his own.

Characters: Susan, Clarrie, Adam, Jolene, Kenton
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Since Clarrie has left the dairy keys at home, she and Susan wait outside until Adam comes to open up for them. He will be standing in for Helen for the whole four weeks she is away; she is taking the boys to Paris for half term next week, and the rest of the time is just a good long break, just what she needs – as Clarrie says. Clarrie and Susan have been looking forward to it as well; Helen couldn't help it, but the atmosphere has been dreadful and things should be a lot easier with Adam standing in for her. Susan feels that he isn't going to be exactly the boss, because they both know so much more than he does about what needs to be done in the dairy. They'll be running the place really, she adds sotto voce as Adam arrives and lets them in to start work.

Kenton is back on the ward, which Jolene takes as a sign of progress. He is fed up with still being there at all, but she emphasises that he can't rush it when he only had the op on Friday. He is bored and he hates it there with all the grumpy old men with whom he has nothing in common. He also isn't finding physio much fun and describes it as 'torture'. [I wish they didn't always seem to emphasise how awful physio is, on TA: sometimes it is necessary! Chris.] He is frustrated that they must be struggling without him, and Jolene denies that they are doing so; anyway him getting himself worked up isn't going to help anything.

The dairy is going perfectly well without Helen, and Clarrie tells Susan that since Emma has an evening class tonight she has suggested Clarrie as a replacement for her at The Bull. Susan says that her being behind the bar will be just like old times; Clarrie is looking forward to it, and of course the extra money will come in handy. Adam comes in wanting to know how it's going and after being told it's all good, and after saying that he's sure that they, like him, want everything to go well while Helen is away, takes Clarrie gently to task for having forgotten to bring the keys and thus lost valuable production time, especially if he'd been at the other end of the county visiting a customer and she'd had to go home for them. After he has gone on in this vein for a while Clarrie points out that they are losing valuable production time now, and he laughs and says there's a difference between losing and using and he doesn't want to make a big thing of it, just a friendly reminder. He now has to give Tom a hand in the polytunnel, with the broad beans and spring onions to plant up, so he will leave them to it for a couple of hours. After he has breezed out again Clarrie excuses him by saying it's his first day and he just wanted to make his mark, but Susan decides that they need to make theirs, and she knows just how.

Jolene is now filling Kenton in about all the successes they've been having at The Bull in his absence, and he asks how Valentine's is shaping up; apparently they are nearly full up already. Lilian is still helping out, and not driving Jolene nuts either; it's been great to see how everyone's mucking in, according to Jolene. [This of course is what Fallon told her yesterday. Chris.] Clarrie is covering for Emma this evening, says Jolene, which seems to upset Kenton.

Having got to the dairy, Adam is now instructing Susan and Clarrie to do things which they have already done. He grumbles that his feet are a bit uncomfortable, and Susan at once says that will be the lactose: he's got dairyman's foot, hasn't he, Clarrie? Swollen feet: it's a classic. She winds him up thoroughly before Clarrie spoils it by starting to laugh, and Susan explains that they played a little trick on him by swapping his wellies for smaller ones. He laughs and admits they got him there; well done. He will go and change into his real ones, which they left behind the locker, and then he wants Susan to help him with the latest batch of Borsetshire Blue; Clarrie will be fine doing the potting and labelling on her own, and Susan was saying only the other day that the process could be streamlined. She protests that she has to open the post office in half an hour, but he is firm that's all the time they need; as she goes to do as he has told her he adds that she has some hair sticking out from under her hair-net. Only his little joke, he adds as she tries to correct this.

When she starts work at The Bull that evening Clarrie soon gets into trouble with the high-tech new till, because she has not been instructed in its use and it is more complicated than the one that was there last time she worked behind the bar. As Jolene explains how to void a wrong entry and start again, a voice behind them offers to help; it is Kenton, who has scrounged a lift home from Freddie. He discharged himself (very much against the doctors' advice) because a racist had been put in the bed next to him and he could no longer stand being on the ward. Both Clarrie and Jolene think this was crazy of him and do not at all approve, and Jolene is furious: if he insists on coming home, all he is going to do is rest and do his exercises, not hang about downstairs. She tries to pack him off upstairs to bed, and as shee escorts him out of the bar he asks if it is just her and Clarrie, and she explains Tracy is in the Ploughman's and covering the restaurant; anyway it is none of his business, she adds crossly, to which he replies that it literally is. Not until he is properly better, she snaps. They then run into a problem: he can't manage stairs on his crutches because he has not been shown how. Jolene tells him this is exactly why he should have stayed in; he says he'll go up on his backside, then sits awkwardly and screams with pain. He now doesn't think he can get upstairs, because it hurts too much. Jolene wants to know what they are going to do: he can't stay there!

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 6th February, 2024

An outbreak of en-suiteness and light, but will it last?

Characters: Harry, Alice, Eve Chilcott, Lynda, Jolene, Kenton,
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

While they wait for Harry's mother to get to the restaurant Harry orders water for the table, and then, realising that Alice is very nervous, distracts her by asking about her father's farm – or as she is quick to tell him, the family farm, since they all have shares in it. She tells him about more trees being planted, and more herbal leys, and the winter wheat having been flooded. When his mother arrives, exactly on time, Alice is quite relaxed, and is told at once to call her Eve rather than Mrs Chilcott, as well as being hugged and then told that she is gorgeous and her dress is fabulous. She explains that it's vintage and she got it at a recycled fashion show in the village last week; Eve admires her eye for clothes, and says it is stylish and smart. Eve then tells them to order what they want to: this meal is on her. When Harry tries to protest she tells him to do as his mother tells him.

A despairing Jolene has gone to ask Lynda for help; she explains the situation to her. Once she has grasped that Kenton signed himself out and is not better, Lynda is delighted to be able to be of use. Because Kenton can't yet get upstairs he spent the night on Fallon's sofa, which is clearly not ideal, especially since the lavatory is upstairs and they had to make 'other arrangements' for him. Jolene has been trying to find somewhere more suitable; Lynda has the very thing and shows her a ground floor, en suite room which she explains they had made after her accident gave them the idea of offering accommodation to people with mobility issues. [I wonder why they didn't give it to Rylan last May instead of throwing Adil out? We know Adil's room isn't en suite because of the time he went to have a shower and left his door open, and Ruby got onto his bed. Chris.] Jolene's breath is taken away: it would be perfect. Kenton would be very welcome to use it, and when Jolene asks what the room-rate is Lynda says she wouldn't dream of taking their money. It's not booked until Easter; Jolene hopes Kenton will be recovered by then. Lynda tells her to call it a favour for a friend in need.

Eve is carrying most of the conversational weight, telling Alice about how she met her husband, and that because of his ambition they now own six garden centres, though she is no longer directly involved: she is on the board, but she hasn't been hands-on for a long time. Once Harry's riding started to take off ... Harry explains that Mum sacrificed a huge amount for him, including her own riding career. Eve seems disinclined to discuss this, saying she doesn't regret any of it and then insisting on a photo of Alice and Harry together; she says they make a handsome couple. Alice then has to 'pop to the loo', and as soon as she is gone Eve demands to know how Harry is doing now. When he says he is fine she insists that she means it: how is he in himself? He says he's great and asks her not to fuss; she denies that she is fussing but he can't blame her for being concerned. He says slightly irritably that he just wants to get on with his life, OK? Get to know Alice better. Eve tells him Alice seems really nice, and he says that she is, and he is the happiest he's been in years.

When Kenton is shown the room Lynda is offering him and Jolene starts to say how great it is. Kenton seems less than grateful, and is in fact rather ungracious, particularly about the alarm cords over the bed and in the bathroom. Lynda goes to fetch towels and Jolene asks him what the hell is wrong with him; he complains that he doesn't see what the rush is about, and surely they could have tried a few more places, and found somewhere else? Jolene is not putting up with this: she spent all morning on the phone, and what is wrong with Lynda's room anyway? Lynda has gone above and beyond to help them out! Rather desperately Kenton says that is it; Jolene knows what Lynda is like, she'll be flapping around him all the time like a mother hen, treating him like a kid. Jolene reminds him that by rights he should still be in hospital, and he starts to get angry with her: she knows he couldn't stand it there. She loses her temper in turn and says angrily that he is going to have to stand it here. He wouldn't be in this position if he'd done what the doctors said. They're not treating him like a kid, he's behaving like a kid. Lynda comes back with a bath-towel and hand-towel for Kenton, and he thanks her with reasonable civility; she is sure Jolene must be needed back at The Bull, and thinks she could get along. Lynda can help 'the patient' find his feet.

During their excellent meal, Eve asks Alice if she will help her to shop for a dress: she has been invited to a Valentine's ball, and nothing she has is quite right. She was thinking that if Alice came with her she could really use her fashion eye and good advice. Alice is flattered, and agrees she will check the lesson schedule and get back to her. Eve suggests they could have another bite to eat while they are out, and Alice says if they do, it will definitely be her treat. It sounds really lovely.

Kenton has come to find Lynda in order to apologise to her for having been grumpy earlier. He explains that he had forgotten to take his painkillers at the right time [and how did he manage to get those out of the hospital pharmacy, if he signed himself out in the evening with no notice? Chris]. He's had a nap now and is feeling better than he was. She is very pleased to hear it, and, when he says the room is perfect, says she is just glad it is fitting the bill; she is also understanding of his irritation: he really mustn't worry about being a little scratchy now and then. She remembers very well how she felt after her accident, and knows that it is simply the pain and frustration being directed at whoever is close at hand, not personal. Kenton feels it is good to talk to someone who understands, although of course his injuries are nothing compared with hers; she informs him that it's not a competition and he must have compassion for himself and take the time he needs to recover fully. He promises to try, and says he feels bad for having inflicted himself on Jolene when she is busy running the pub: saddling her with the worst patient in the known universe! Lynda laughs and tells him that Robert might argue with him about that. He hasn't made it easy for her, and doesn't want to make it any worse than it has to be. He does know how lucky he is to have Jolene. [Oh dear; that's not a good omen. He'll be showing people her photograph and talking about his leave, next. Chris.] [Promise? Gus.]

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 7th February, 2024

Susan is shrewd as well as shrewish, Adam is not fooled, and Hilda is just a cat.

Characters: Tony, Pat, Susan, Chris, Clarrie, Adam
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Exasperated beyond his limits by Hilda sitting on his lap while he eats his porridge and trying to get on the table, Tony finally puts the cat out into the hall and shuts the door on her. Pat thinks he is being unnecessarily harsh, but he is unrepentant. He blames Pat for encouraging Hilda by giving her treats all the time.

Chris has come over to Ambridge View to collect a card-game Martha likes; he has her after nursery and overnight, and the weather is forecast to be vile, so he is sorting out indoor things to do with her. Susan 'tactfully' asks whether Alice will be seeing her new man, this 'Harry' feller, if Chris has got Martha, but Chris doesn't know: it's not the sort of thing she discusses with him. Susan muses that she didn't expect to see them in the pub on Sunday, and Chris reveals that it was the second time he bumped into them that day. Chris has only met him once before and says dubiously that he seems all right; Susan is even less sure. Harry says all the right things, she comments, but it's all a bit too smooth for her liking; she doesn't know, but there's something about him. Chris gets what she means. He then asks Susan to give Adam a message about having found an indoor nets location and wanting to discuss it when they meet for lunch. She agrees, then heaves a sigh which leads Chris to ask her what is wrong; she reveals that she and Clarrie thought they would have some fun while Helen was away, but Adam doesn't realise that the reason they enjoy the job is the chatting they do together, and keeps splitting them up. They've tried to tell him about it, but he just says it's more efficient, so Susan thinks it's time to take action, Christopher is startled: what, go on strike? No, Susan just wants to find a way to take him down a peg or two.

Pat and Tony are enjoying a Hilda-free conversation; Pat tells Tony about Kenton staying at Ambridge Hall and Lynda coming to find him some tempting treats from the shop. She suggests Tony lending Kenton a thriller he has just finished; Tony, though, knows there is no shortage of reading material at Ambridge Hall. However, he'll pop over some time and see if there is anything else Kenton would like. Pat then notices it's the first conversation they've had for ages without being bothered by Hilda; Tony had been wondering why he felt so relaxed, but Pat now feels obliged to call the cat, in spite of Tony not wanting her to, summon the beast. He suggests that Hilda is probably prowling and is unconcerned about her whereabouts, saying that she will turn up when she wants something, but Pat insists that she may have run away or hurt herself: Peggy would be devastated.

Clarrie has her doubts about what Susan describes as 'just a bit of fun' and fears they may get into trouble, but when Adam comes into the dairy they unite to ask him to get the ingredients for the Valentine's Day ice-cream. Allegedly, Helen gets these every year, but between them Susan and Clarrie manage to list what is needed: beetroot colouring, chocolate swirls, rose petals and powdered pearl-shimmer for decoration. Adam asks bemusedly whether they have these in stock and is told no, Helen gets them in special every year along with the secret ingredients, the aphrodisiacs, ginseng, maca, and ginko biloba, which come from the traditional Chinese medicine shop in Felpersham. You don't need big amounts, but you have to pick them up in person. The roses come from a florist in Ramsbury, and the powdered pearl from a place in Gilbert's Cross. Adam goes to find a pad to write all this down. When they are alone Susan asks Clarrie where she got ginko biloba from, and Clarrie says that it was in her magazine, in an article entitled 'Ten Ways to Spice Up Your Love Life'. Someone then knocks on the window: it is Pat, who is out looking for Hilda and wants to know if they have seen her.

The Hilda-hunt now involves Tony and Adam having to move things and look behind them while Adam shouts 'Hilda!' [as if the cat would come for him: he is not her owner! Chris]. Adam suggests asking Brian what happened when he had her, which hadn't crossed Tony's mind as a possibility, and says he has a lot on and can't spend his day running around after Hilda. Pat arrives just then asking whether there is any sign of her, since they have looked everywhere where there is food with no luck, and Adam offers to scout around the barn, then takes the opportunity to ask her about the Bridge Farm Valentine ice-cream; it means nothing to her, but he doesn't say why he asked. As Adam goes off, Tony suggests trying the goat shed: Hilda has a lot in common with goats. He also advocates giving up.

Over their meeting at The Bull Chris asks Adam whether they found the cat, and when told there was no sign of her when Adam left suggests they could put some posters up if she's not back by the end of the week. The two men agree that though Pat and Tony don;t want the cat around, they don't want her not around either, because of Peggy having felt so guilty about not being able to have her at The Laurels. Adam then mentions nets, but just before they do Chris wants to know how it is going, Adam working with Clarrie and Susan? Adam thinks it is going well and they have a really good working relationship: in fact they're so comfortable they feel able to play the occasional prank on him. He tells Chris about the yarn they spun him about aphrodisiac ice-cream, which makes Chris laugh, then say that it sounds like it's Adam's turn now: he should get his own back. Adam already has an idea for that; in fact, could he ask Chris a favour? Could Chris ring his mobile at about ten tomorrow?

The search for Hilda has been discontinued; Tony was just too cold and wet too look any more. It's horrible out there; Pat doesn't like to think of Hilda out in it, but Tony sensibly says she will have taken shelter. He goes to put his coat to dry a bit on the back of his chair before putting it away, and finds Hilda curled up there. Pat wonders how she got in, but Tony feels the method is hardly the point: this is her revenge for being chucked out of the kitchen. Pat laughs at him and says Hilda is just a cat, but he disagrees: this is not just a cat, this is a demon in feline form.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 8th February, 2024

Tony has had enough of Hilda, and Eve Chilcott wants nothing more to do with Alice.

Characters: Harry, Alice, Adam, Clarrie, Susan, Eve Chilcott
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The alarm has gone off at seven thirty and both Alice and Harry are reluctant to get up. However, Alice has to give a lesson before going to meet Harry's mum, and Harry has to get a horse ready for potential sale, so they do get up. He invites her and Martha to go on holiday with him, which she says she will think about, and is glad she is making all this effort with Mum; she denies that it is effort, because it's a pleasure: it's wonderful how welcoming Eve has been.

In the dairy the day's work is being explained to Susan and Clarrie by Adam; since they 'repeat' what he is saying before he says it, it's clear they know the work better than he does. For instance, he has brought over four twenty-litre churns, spelling out that this is because they need eighty litres of milk; Clarrie starts to protest and then realises there is no point in bothering to tell him what he has got wrong. (Usually they get the milk in smaller containers which they are able to lift.) When he says the two women are obviously across it, Clarrie mentions that it is a standard job and they must have done it hundreds of times; thousands, corroborates Susan. Unabashed, Adam continues mansplaining until his phone rings; since Clarrie and Susan are making rather a noise trying to lift the milk into the pasteuriser he puts the call on hold, and takes himself and the phone outside, saying that it sounds serious.

When Eve opens the door to Alice she is taken aback to see her and makes excuses for not going out shopping with her, saying that she did send her a text message and she is sorry Alice has had a wasted journey; Alice tries to re-arrange for another day, and eventually Eve tells her that on reflection it wasn't a good idea them meeting up and it's best if they just forget about the whole thing. When Alice asks if something is wrong or she has offended Eve somehow, Eve tells her that she can't talk any more because she has something on the stove, and closes the door in her face.

Adam tells Susan and Clarrie that was the council food safety department planning to come and inspect the dairy tomorrow, and requiring them to have a lot of paperwork ready. Clarrie is horrified: it will take ages to pull it all together and they've got this big batch of ice-cream to make. Susan fears they will have to come in late and get it done then. Adam agrees that the timing could have been better. Normally he would be able to do it, but he's got all these Valentine's ingredients to get, and the ginko biloba isn't going to buy itself. Clarrie is about to own up about that when there is mewing: Hilda has got in through the door Adam failed to close behind him, and is lapping at the spilt milk on the floor; when they try to catch her she gets onto the worktop.

In her distress Alice has gone straight to Harry's yard to tell him about his mother's strange and frankly unpleasant behaviour. He doesn't believe it at first, and then doesn't understand it any more than she does, but promises to get to the bottom of it and put it right.

Adam has gone to own up to Pat and Tony, and Susan and Clarrie have started the complete cleansing of the dairy which will have to be done before it can be used. When Adam gets back he tells them it wasn't the best news Pat and Tony have had all week, and apologises to them; Clarrie comfortingly assures him that it was an accident. He has explained that they have disposed of the twenty litres that had already been put in, but Pat thought they should pour the rest away too, since those were sitting in the passageway. Susan protests that those had got lids on, but Adam reminds her that they don't know if Hilda walked over them, and Clarrie agrees that it's better safe than sorry. Adam grumbles that it's a bad time to be throwing milk away, with the Montys drying off towards calving; only ten are going through the parlour at the moment. It's going to take most of the day to clean the dairy, so Adam will have to ring round and tell everyone their delivery is going to be delayed; Pat is going to come across and help, which made him feel worse. Susan asks what about the food safety thing, and says she can try to get someone called Hussein to cover for her in the Post Office so she can stay and help with the paperwork, but Adam now owns up: that won't be necessary because there is no snap inspection. It was just his little joke. When Clarrie and Susan are indignant he explains that it was Chris calling him as part of the wind-up, which annoys Susan, and before they start, it was his response to their supposed Valentine's ice-cream job. He has told Pat and Tony about it all, feeling he had no choice [nasty little clype. Chris], and wants Clarrie and Susan to agree: no more wind-ups. They do so. Clarrie then asks what about Hilda, and Adam tells her that this was the last straw for Tony: he's had enough and is going to re-home her.

Harry has gone to confront his mother. She denies that she is 'playing games' and explains that she got talking with one of her friends, Celine Pocock, who has a daughter who knows Alice well, having even been a bridesmaid with her once, and has been told about Alice being an alcoholic. Harry informs her that he knew, because Alice has been very open about it, and effectively says 'so what?'; his mother says it's worse than that and tells him about Alice turning up drunk at a family funeral, and about her throwing a brick through a shop window, which he claims he knew as well. It's all in the past, and Alice is in recovery now and has been sober for over two years, but Eve swiftly asks how long that is going to last? She's sorry, but Alice could relapse at any time. She says that Harry's got to end it with Alice; he refuses to consider the idea. Eve is determined: that sort of person will do him no good at all, and Eve means it: for his own sake, he must never see her again.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 9th February, 2024

One dropped bottle, two dead mice.

Characters: Jolene, Kenton, Tony, Adam, Pat, Alice, Harry
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Unable to stay away, Kenton has turned up at The Bull again, having cadged a lift from Robert. Jolene is worried lest something has gone wrong at Ambridge Hall, but no; he is just bored. All he wants to do is sit in the bar, chat to the regulars and be with his wife if she'll let him.

On the phone, Tony arranges to have a look at a new home for Hilda just off the Penny Hassett Road. The man's name is Jenson so of course he is called 'The Interceptor'; somewhat despairingly, Pat asks whether any of Eddie's friends have normal names. Adam arrives just as Tony puts the phone down saying he'll be there as soon as possible; he has an update on the dairy situation. They've finished the replacement batch of vanilla and put it into Napoli containers ready for delivery; this means they are a bit behind on the Sterling Gold but Adam will come in tomorrow to make a start on that. He won't want paying for it; Tony protests that's not on, and Adam rightly points out that it was his error that led to all this. Pat however backs Tony on this, and Adam offers to buy them a drink at The Bull as an apology, which they accept. Pat then suggests a mini-review next week, at which Tony wonders if they can teach Clarrie and Susan a gentle lesson. He does at least place the blame on 'Houdini Hilda' rather than on the two innocent workers, congratulating himself that she won't be an issue for much longer. The only problem will be persuading Eddie's mate that Hilda is a well-behaved, sweet-natured cat, and that is why Tony is not taking her with him. Pat feels this is all happening too fast and she doesn't like Tony telling lies; also, Peggy is going to be very upset. Adam excuses himself; he has a few things he has to finish off. After he has left Pat says pathetically that Peggy always looks forward to Hilda's visits, but Tony just suggests that her new family could take her occasionally. Pat is to leave Mum to him; he will explain the situation and give her a chance to say goodbye. She might not like it but she'll get over it.

Adam is chatting with Kenton in The Bull, telling him about Hilda's imminent departure, and Kenton tells him about his physio's visit earlier; he is pleased with his own progress but says nothing about what the physio thinks of him. Jolene comes over and mentions that Tracy has had to cry off her shift: she's feeling rough and is worried she might have covid. Jolene is sure they can manage the Friday rush without her.

When Harry finally arrives to see her, Alice is not entirely welcoming and wants to know what is going on with his mum. She has been unable to concentrate and even let Misty escape her stall into the yard, where Joanna [who has previously been called Joanne. Chris] fortunately caught her. Alice has been racking her brain about what she can possibly have said, if she was rude or was misinterpreted; Harry assures her it's nothing like that, then tries not to tell her what was the problem. He fails to convince her of his mother's anxiety for him caused by his accident, and its aftermath including the marriage break-up, as the cause of her feeling it is too soon for him to be taking on any relationship. She asks blankly if that is it, and when he says that his mother is very sorry if she seemed abrupt and it was just her protective instincts wants to know why, if that was how she felt, she agreed to have lunch and arranged to go shopping? And if that was how she felt why couldn't she explain it to Alice yesterday? Harry flounders, and after a pause Alice realises what must have changed: Eve did some digging, didn't she. Harry exclaims 'No!' but Alice is no longer listening to him. Eve wanted to know who her little boy was taking up with: did she find out that Alice is an alcoholic? After a long pause, Harry says, 'Yeah.' Alice seems almost relieved for a moment but then starts to breathe hard as Harry says that a 'friend' told Eve.

Tony and Pat have arrived and greet Adam and Kenton, but Jolene has to go to the other bar, and Adam explains that Tracy rang in sick and with Emma in the Ploughman's, Jolene is managing in the main bar on her own. Lilian has a commitment elsewhere and Clarrie didn't really work out. Adam asks Tony how it went at Jenson the Interceptor's but Tony didn't like the place: it was chaotic and they had animals already (including a bird in a cage and lizards in a terrarium) and seemed more like animal collectors than animal lovers. Kenton has met the type, and Adam fears that it doesn't sound ideal. Tony said they had several people interested and would get back to them, and came away. He apologises to Pat for fibbing, but Pat will let him off that one. Meanwhile Kenton is starting to feel uncomfortable about Adam not having been served, and starts to go round behind the bar; Adam opens the hatch for him. Adam asks for a pint of Shires, Tony wants the same and Pat wants a half. As Adam adds whisky chasers to the order Jolene comes over and wants to know what Kenton is playing at, and has an argument with Kenton about him serving the drinks, but he persuades her he will be fine. Unfortunately when it comes to the whiskies he realises that the optic is empty and he will have to put another bottle up. Pat tells Adam that Hilda has now won Tony's heart by bringing him two dead mice, which Pat [who wasn't listening to the programme in September, 2017. Chris] says is a first, and now it seems that since they can't have mice around the farm, she might in fact be more useful than they had thought. It's worth a try, even if as the ignorant Pat says, Hilda has been a pampered pet all her life. At this point Kenton, who has been fiddling with the optic and saying it won't take long, gives a sharp scream and there is a crash of breaking glass. He says that he slipped and will clear it up, but Jolene is furiously determined he will do no such thing and sends him back to his chair. He is in pain, and thinks he pulled his stitches lifting the bottle. He was just trying to help, and now he has made even more work for her: he is so sorry.

Alice has worked herself into a hysterical state and is wailing about the very first time she gets interested in someone, while Harry tries to calm her and say it makes no difference to him. Alice is now aware that she is never going to escape it and it will hang about her neck forever, but when Harry argues that his mother will come round eventually and then tells Alice that he is falling in love with her, she retreats and says she can't, it's too much, and tells him to go. She has to have some space and think it all through.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 11th February, 2024

Fallon sympathises, David 'helps' and Jolene has a nasty shock.

Characters: David, Kenton, Alice, Fallon, Lilian, Jolene
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Visiting the sick is said to be an act of virtue, though whether Kenton feels that David visiting him is a good thing it is hard to tell. He is certainly very ungracious about it. His excuse is that he is worried about Jolene, who is really stressed out by running the pub on her own, and when she came to see him looked as if she hadn't slept. 'Dave' might find this hard to believe, but Kenton has never felt so useless.

Alice and Fallon have gone running together and have stopped, as Alice says, conveniently near the café. Alice uses their having stopped as occasion to tell Fallon about Eve's behaviour to her because she is an alcoholic; Fallon is duly shocked.

The Bull is saved! David has arrived. When he discovers that Jolene and Lilian are all alone serving the full pub, he volunteers to cover while Kenton is off. When Lilian asks if he doesn't have a farm to run he airily says that Ruth and Pip can take care of that; also he is sure that it won't be long before Kenton is back on his feet, especially if he hears that David is behind the bar. Jolene offers to pay him the going rate, but he won't hear of it. There is no need for Lilian to show him the ropes: he serves behind the bar at the Brookfield Events Barn most weekends. Lilian does suggest that a pub is a bit different because you have to manage the cellar, stock rotation, ordering... He interrupts her list to tell her that it is fundamentally the same thing and then serve someone two pints in two of the last available glasses; he suggests to Lilian that now he is here she can go and collect some, for which she is notably not grateful.

The sorry saga of Harry's mother continues and Fallon expresses sympathy about her insensitivity in reacting badly without even speaking to Alice; Alice however can see Eve's point, because if Martha came home in twenty years' time and said she was seeing an ex-addict Alice too would be edgy about it. Fallon however puts it to her that she would talk it over with Martha and her fellow rather than just lay down the law, and she has to agree but is sure she would have some understanding, which Harry's mum most probably doesn't. When Fallon asks what Harry said, Alice tells her that he said he doesn't care what his mother thinks, and that he is falling in love with Alice. Fallon understands the problem, but asks how Alice feels, and, when Alice doesn't reply, laughingly almost-asks if Alice feels the same way about him; this gets a weak affirmative. Fallon says that maybe it doesn't matter what his mum thinks: he's a grown man, for Heaven's sake! but Alice is sure that it does, because it makes everything complicated and messy, which is what she doesn't want. Fallon suggests that if Harry is clear he wants to be with Alice then that's that and his mother will have to lump it, but Alice doesn't want to be responsible for Harry ruining his relationship with his mum. Fallon wants to know how she left it with Harry, and, when Alice says that she told him she needed some space, asks whether that has helped; Alice's reply is, 'Not really.' She keeps picking up her phone to message him, but she doesn't know what to say. Fallon points out that she doesn't have to solve the whole thing by herself: like she said, it's complicated, but not for her: it's complicated for Harry. Alice likes him and wants to be with him, and it sounds like he wants to be with her. Alice knows that, but everything's got so tricky now: they should still be at the fun stage. In a serious voice Fallon asks if she knows what's fun, and, when Alice asks 'what?' in a bewildered way, says 'mini golf.' There's a new one in Felpersham; she and Harrison were thinking of trying it out one night, and why don't Alice and Harry go with them? She'd love to meet him. Alice is not sure how that would help, but Fallon thinks it might be just what they need: to have a nice time together and forget about the complicated and messy stuff for a bit. Alice utters a dubious 'hmmm'.

At The Bull, David is having a fine time chatting with the customers, but Lilian would rather he were loading the dishwasher. There is a system for that, and he has ignored it. Lilian has timed him: he was gabbing to Derek Fletcher for twelve and a half minutes. She is school-marmy and he is argumentative. She asks if he has changed the guest ale yet, which of course he hasn't because he doesn't know how, so she tells him to watch the bar and she will go. It is at this point that Kenton walks in yet again, having persuaded Lynda and Robert to bring him for a pint, and asks what David is doing behind the bar; when David says he is helping, Lilian crossly asks if that's what he calls it and wants to know what she can get Kenton. He wants a bottle of house white for Robert and Lynda and a pint for him. David officiously asks whether him drinking is advisable, and Lilian goes to get Jolene from the Ploughman's where she is having a bite to eat. Kenton remarks how busy they must have been, with all those dirty glasses piled up; Lilian says pointedly that David was about to load the dishwasher. David agrees that he was but doesn't do it, instead starting to chat to Kenton, whom Jolene doesn't seem particularly pleased to see: she doesn't want him overdoing things again as he did on Friday. He claims to have learned his lesson, but to want to know how she is: it's her worrying about him that he is worrying about. There is a sudden scream somewhere in the bar and Jolene reacts as if she had been shot, asking whether she should call the police, but David reassures her that it just looks as if Derek Fletcher has taken a tumble. Kenton wants to know what he was playing at frightening Jolene like that, then realises as Lilian goes to clear up the spilt drink that she is seriously upset, especially when she says that she was worried they'd come back. She feels so silly getting in a state about a chair falling over! She'll just go upstairs and sort her face out, and will be back in a minute, she says as she flees. David asks whether she is all right, and Kenton says not really: she is still shaken up about what happened, which Lilian confirms she is bound to be, and Kenton not being there with her is not right. David is sure it won't be for long though; Kenton hopes that when he sees the nurse on Tuesday he'll give him the all clear for tackling the stairs. David has his fingers crossed, but in the meantime they are here and will look after Jolene; Lilian backs him up and Kenton doesn't know what he would do without them both: the dream team.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 12th February, 2024

Tony and Adam are work-place bullies while Pip is working hard for once.

Characters: Clarrie, Susan, Adam, Ruth, Pip, Tony
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

It seems that Tony has told Clarrie he wants a word with all three dairy staff and will come and find them in the staff room at lunch time; Susan and Clarrie are apprehensive about it and speculate that he is probably going to read the riot act over the cat getting in. Clarrie feels as if she had been sent to wait outside the headmistress's office, and Susan knows what she means. When Adam breezes in and asks about their weekends they decide to tell him so that he can mentally prepare. He supposes they'd better face the music; Susan doesn't think they have much choice about it.

When asked by Ruth to do one more small chore, Pip is grudging and ill-done-by about it and complains she has been out since five and has not even stopped for a tea-break. Ruth replies that she must take a break and the chore can wait; Jill is in the kitchen and it is the anniversary of Phil's death, which Pip had forgotten. She apologises for moaning and excuses it by saying she is just knackered, and Ruth acknowledges that it's a struggle at the moment with David at The Bull. There's too much work on the farm for two people, but Kenton and Jolene need some support; Ben is up to his eyes in course work and Josh said he would help when he could but is snowed under with the eggs. She and Pip will manage, won't they. Pip agrees they'll have to. Ruth departs to look at the sheep at Home Farm.

Tony is tearing the three dairy workers off a strip for their unhealthy culture of pranks; his lecture culminates in sacking Adam, and he hopes that will be a warning to 'the rest of you'. He ends by saying that Adam will be paid to the end of the week but need not stay after the end of the day, and leaves. Adam sounds crushed, and Susan and Clarrie are horrified; Susan offers to go after Tony and beg him to change his mind, but Adam doubts there would be any point, so she offers to make him a cup of tea.

At Brookfield, Tony turns up hoping to borrow their telehandler and meets Pip crossing the yard with the calving jack; she tells him he is welcome to the loan but he'll have to fetch it himself because she's a bit busy at the moment. A calf is arriving early, and when Tony asks if the mother is struggling Pip says it looks as if she's been pushing for a fair bit with no progress; she needs some help, but Pip is on her own. When it is put to him like that, Tony sees no option but to offer to give her a some backup.

Susan and Clarrie think it very good of Adam to stay and help them with the ice-cream; in the circumstances no-one would blame him for wanting to go straight away, as Clarrie says. He is crushed but brave; he wanted to at least stay and finish his last batch. Susan reminds him that it's their fault he's lost his job and she could kick herself for playing those daft tricks. Clarrie could and all. Susan begs Adam to let her go and talk to Tony and see if she can't convince him to keep Adam on: it's got to be worth a go. Clarrie isn't sure: she's never seen him like that before, so cold and strict. Yes, he was very good, wasn't he, muses Adam. Very convincing. Clarrie wants to know what he means, and Adam explains that if he hadn't known that Tony was pretending he'd have believed him: he's actually a very good actor. Clarrie denies that he was pretending, and Adam exclaims 'Got you!' and starts to laugh, which he continues to do as Susan indignantly asks if he and Tony staged all that to trick them, and Clarrie continues to disbelieve him. When Adam tells them both that it was a practical joke and Susan crossly points out that they agreed, 'no more practical jokes', he is entirely unrepentant: it was too good to resist. Clarrie and Susan are by no means convinced, but Adam is telling them: he roped Tony in to make them think he was sacking Adam. They continue to doubt him, which he claims is calling him a liar, but Tony then rings him and backs up the story; Adam puts him on speaker-phone so they can both have a good laugh at Susan and Clarrie's expense. Susan demands confirmation that Adam is not sacked, and Tony says he isn't: sorry, you two, it was just a bit of fun. Susan is understandably cross that their concern for Adam was wasted. Adam says sorry, but that they have to admit that as practical jokes go it was a pretty good one.

Tony has gone back to the labouring cow [the animal, not Pip. Chris] and after some obstetric detail, and sound effects, a heifer is born with a mighty thump and Pip rubs her dry while Tony checks the mother. All is well, and Pip asks about the phone call, which sounded intriguing. Tony tells her it was a little joke they played on Clarrie and Susan because things were getting a bit out of hand in the dairy; he thinks he did the trick. Pip snortingly suggests that the hours must fly by over at Bridge Farm, and Tony tells her they've had their fair share of drama recently, mostly involving Hilda. Pip had heard they ended up with her, and Tony confirms that she's an absolute menace; Pip tells him they should take her to the kitten clinic being run by Denise at the vets. Pip thinks it's about litter training and socialising; Tony points out that Hilda is a long way from a kitten, but Pip reckons you never know, Denise might be able to help her be less menacing or help them with some behavioural management. Tony thinks it might be worth a go. Ruth then arrives and they discuss the busyness of life with David working at The Bull; Pip says it's a good thing Toby has got Rosie for half term or they really would be in trouble. Ruth then points out that it's Tony's birthday later in the week, when he will be 'the big seven-three' as he puts it, and they will be going to the pub; Ruth will try to join them there but Pip will be having a pampering session ahead of her own birthday celebrations on Saturday. [This is the big info-dump of all the bits the SW forgot to put into the episode earlier. Chris.] She can't wait; just four days of relentless farming to get through till then. Tony has a quick goo over the new calf before he leaves, and Pip says that it does make it all worth while.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 13th February, 2024

Two foots in mouth, one hole-in-one.

Characters: Paul, Alistair, Fallon, Harrison, Denise, Harry, Alice
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Now that she has come back to the Ambridge surgery, Denise is apparently doing some re-organising. She has installed a hook for the key to the medicine room, which had been living on top of a drawer unit and might have been swept off to lodge behind it. Paul grumbles and is snide about this, but Alistair thinks it a good idea. As they are about to leave for a drink Paul produces a piece of post for Alistair which he had taken it upon himself to hang onto because it has a red envelope; he demands that Alistair should open it, but Alistair quite fails to be interested. Denise will meet them at the pub; she is putting up posters round the village for the Kitten Clinic on Thursday and has five sign-ups already from the internet. Alistair mentions Tony having come in to sign up Hilda, and Paul criticises that as well, saying Denise will be annoyed. When Alistair insists on setting off for The Bull rather than paying attention to him, Paul heaves a long-suffering sigh.

The mini-golf party are to meet at The Bull, and Fallon has already got Harrison a pint when he arrives. He is not all that enthused about going out after having had a hard day at work, though Fallon claims it was his idea because he was the one who suggested trying out the new place. He testily denies it: he wanted to go with her, and she has invited Alice and her new boyfriend. She wants to know what the matter is and he tells her that he doesn't really know Harry; Fallon says that the point is to meet him, and Harrison asks why he has to tag along, reminding her that he has already met Harry, whom he seems not to have taken to when they met in the restaurant [perhaps because Harry came over as a patronising git? Chris]. It's just these horsey types, he explains, they're not really his type. Fallon immediately asks what about Chris, a farrier: you don't get much more horsey than that; Harrison tells her that Chris is staff to people like Harry, and Fallon accuses him of inverted snobbery. She wins the argument because Alice and Harry arrive before Harrison can say any more.

Denise is going on about the church becoming a community hub, and Alistair eventually breaks into her monologue to ask her what she was thinking when she sent him a valentine card? She denies it and laughs at him, and her mockery and disapproval make him quite cast down. She asks if he really thinks she would send her boss a valentine card at work for her son to find, and he has to admit it's not likely. Paul gets back with some house red just then, and spots the valentine; triumphantly he exclaims that he knew it had to be and wants to know who it is from. Alistair doesn't know. Paul reads out the message inside the card ('Your true love is much closer than you think') and starts to tease Alistair about having an admirer and being a catch, listing his good qualities and embarrassing him. When he says there's no end to the people it could be, Denise wants to know 'like who?' and Paul starts to list them, starting with 'that woman with the gecko', whom Denise identifies as Bridie someone and Alistair names as Bridie Cameron; Alistair does not appreciate the teasing. Paul mentions the feller who breeds the cavapoos and is always happy to chat, and then the woman with the chinchilla, at which point Denise causes confusion by exclaiming about 'Babs' and saying she is adorable – meaning the chinchilla, not her owner Judith someone. Alistair is exasperated and asks to be passed the bottle so he can pour them all some wine.

Being stuck behind a slow party of children at every hole is annoying Harrison; Harry tries to be chummy about it and annoys him thereby, and Alice says she thinks the children in front of them are adorable. The conversation between Alice and Fallon veers to having children in the house, with Fallon saying they spoil everything; obscurely, this leads Harry to ask whether she and Harrison have kids, to which Harrison replies 'no' and Fallon says 'yes' [why would a childless woman say this? It's mad. Chris] and then 'no, no we haven't'; Harry laughs in a fake way and says she doesn't sound very sure, and then although Alice tries to distract him by saying that it is now their turn, asks Fallon if she is pregnant before realising how rude that is and telling her to pretend he never said anything. Even Alice remonstrates, suggesting that he should maybe just stop talking; Harrison mutters that is a good idea and Harry says 'absolutely'. Fallon now says it is their turn, but Harrison confrontationally remarks that Harry asks some very personal questions, and when Harry seems baffled tells him that he has only just met them and has no idea what they might be going through. Fallon tries to defuse things by saying it's OK, but Harrison contradicts this, says that it isn't, and goes off to the bar.

The suggestions from Paul about who may be the originator of Alistair's card are getting silly enough to irritate Alistair considerably. Paul is determined that whoever sent it must be someone they know, but Denise spots something on the back of the card: a QR code. When Harry scans it, he discovers the card is from 'Countryside Courting', a dating app. Denise is duly enlightened, and so is Alistair; he signed up with them shortly after Shula left him, but didn't use them and then lost his password and couldn't get back in. [If he gave a dating app his work address, his idea of internet security sucks swamp through a straw. Chris.] When he says he didn't even go on one date both Paul and Denise tell him that he should have another go, but he claims to be a dinosaur who is not interested. Paul is determined that he should try again, and wants his phone: he bets he could get Alistair back into this app.

Harry and Alice have carried on alone, and Alice has just got a hole-in-one; Harry asks if Harrison and Fallon are OK and whether they are having IVF, muttering about him and his big mouth and just babbling because he wants them to like him, and Alice reassures him that they will like him, because she does. [This is of course utter tosh. Chris.] Harry feels that it's not important because this is about him and Alice and is nobody else's business. Alice agrees: she thinks they are OK. When Harrison and Fallon return from the bar, Harrison apologises for disappearing like that and Harry apologises for asking silly questions. Fallon and Harrison rejoin the game

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 14th February, 2024

David's cocktail is one in the eye for Lilian, but Kenton is shaken.

Characters: Alice, Lilian, David, Kenton, Fallon, Harrison
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Sucking as if for the last drops of gin in a bottle [and as no smoker ever has in this world. Chris], Lilian has gone outside for a cigarette and, when Alice heaves into view and says that she thought Lilian had given up, a good consolidated whinge about David's idea of 'helping out behind the bar' while Lilian does all the work apart from pulling pints. Jolene is too 'anxious' to say anything to him about it. Alice hopes the police will find whoever did it soon. She then sees Fallon and rushes away to catch her.

Back in the bar David greets Lilian convivially and seemingly has no idea that she is irritated with him. She wants him to move the barrels in the cellar, and he (speaking as to a small child or an imbecile) explains that he will after he has perfected his cherry fling, his valentine's cocktail. He thinks, after sampling it, that it needs more bitters; Lilian is horrified to see it has a glacé cherry in it. He is trying to price it; it contains a shot of vanilla vodka, a dash of cherry liqueur, bitters, half Prosecco half soda, and he thinks perhaps eight fifty is a fair price. Lilian asks if Jolene knows about this little enterprise, and David assures her that she is fully on board and plans to try one when she gets back with Kenton. Before Lilian gets into her stride in her criticism of David, materialises and asks how things are. Lilian swallows and womanfully says everything is fine; David concurs. Lilian pointedly tells Kenton that David was just about to go and move the barrels in the cellar, but David puts it off by saying 'In a minute', still in the voice of one being patient with an importunate child, and devoting his attention to Kenton. Kenton doesn't want help to go upstairs; he wants to sit in the bar for a bit, so David asks what he can get him. Oozing faux-sweetness, Lilian suggests he should try David's 'chavvy fling' (offending David), then lists the ingredients taking care to mention that it includes The Bull's premium Prosecco.

Fallon is apologising to Alice for her and Harrison's behaviour: Harry must have thought them very strange. Alice in her turn wants to express her (and Harry's) regret about Harry having mentioned childlessness, which she knows is a sensitive subject for a lot of people. Fallon simply hadn't realised how sensitive it still is for her and Harrison; Alice thought they had decided not to have kids, and so did Fallon, but now she doesn't know any more whether Harrison is OK with it. She can't bring herself to drag it all up again, but she should talk to him, shouldn't she Just as she did in 2020 when the same question arose, Alice thinks that she probably should. Fallon did think it was OK but she doesn't want Harrison to suffer in silence about it, and she doesn't want them to keep on having the same unhappy conversation again and again without ever actually resolving anything. [Oh, I do so agree! Chris.]

Harrison is ordering at The Bull: two asparagus and two steaks medium rare. David asks if he can interest him in one of their special valentine's cocktails, and Harrison agrees to get two, then asks how Kenton is doing. As his mixes his cocktail David says his brother is OK but a bit frustrated, just as Kenton comes back in and greets Harrison. David then starts to shake the cocktail very vigorously [presumably before the addition of the soda and the Prosecco. Chris] and manages to elbow Lilian in the eye as he does so. She is not amused, and her ensuing rant about David's general behaviour escalates rapidly, especially after David claims that technically he is in charge, since he is standing in for Kenton, who is the boss. Lilian quite rightly disputes this, since she and Jolene are the owners of the pub, and tells him she would be grateful if he would get down to that cellar and move those barrels. Kenton, sounding very stressed, tells them both to stop it, grow up and sort it out, and when Harrison asks if he is all right says no, he's not, and this pair are supposed to be there to help when they are actually making things much worse. He goes off upstairs, and before either Lilian or David can go after him Fallon intervenes to ask what the hell the two of them are playing at; they should just look after the bar and let Kenton calm down. People are trying to enjoy their evenings, including her and Harrison. David has the grace to apologise: he'll bring their drinks over, unless Lilian would like to do that while he goes and sorts the cellar out. He asks Lilian whether she thinks Kenton was joking; she doesn't think he was.

Back at their table Harrison tries to make a joke of it with Fallon, but she doesn't think it's funny: Kenton seemed really upset. She then chooses to have the conversation about children at the pub where it could be overheard rather than in the privacy of their own home: why did Harrison get so upset when Harry asked about kids? Harrison is sorry, and wishes he'd handled it better; Fallon brings it all round to him wanting children when she doesn't. She wants him to be honest with her [ie to tell her what she expects to hear rather than what he actually feels. Chris]; she thought they were OK about that stuff. As he has done before, Harrison assures her that they are, and that he is happy with the decision that it will just be them. Yes, he would have liked to have children, but there's no saying that they even could, biologically, and in a way it's better, because this way he has chosen for it to be just the pair of them.

Kenton has been gone for over an hour and Lilian is wondering if she should go up and see him, but David says there is no need. Kenton has come back down. He says he is fine, and Lilian has to serve Sabrina and leaves the two brothers together. David apologises for losing it, and Kenton explains that it was his shouting: his body just kind of reacted, like a panic, and it was frightening. David is abjectly apologetic, and Kenton tells him the doctor talked about this: he said Kenton might have dreams and flashbacks and re-live it and that might cause an unexpected reaction. He didn't expect to feel so upset. David and Lilian arguing would have been nothing to him a few weeks ago, but today, he can't explain it; it sounds so pathetic... David says it sounds perfectly understandable: he's been through something awful and it will take a while to recover, mentally as much as physically. And David will help, starting with making sure the pub runs smoothly – and quietly. Kenton thanks him and says that would be really great.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 15th February, 2024

Paul is improved by adversity and Pip sounds more sensible than Ruth.

Characters: Alistair, Denise, Paul, Pip, Ruth
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Whilst Alistair is operating on an animal with Denise assisting, they talk. She is not pleased with him about Hilda coming to the Kitten Klinic along with the other six who will be attending, and Alistair does a fair bit of apologising for that and for having offended her the other night. She is clearly fed up with him and her replies are borderline hostile. When he mentions the dating app and not having used it, she tells him it is nothing to do with her; when he insists on going on about it, she tells him he should update his profile and use it. Into this embarrassing scene enter a very subdued Paul, who has been rung by his dad; his grandma, Patricia, has had another fall and is in hospital.

Pip is trying to get Ruth to have something to eat; Ruth claims to have wasted the whole morning dealing with a cancelled booking for the wedding barn. Because the bride has said they have decided to go for a different vibe, Ruth is convinced they have cancelled in order to go to Grey Gables instead and is complaining about this, at length. Pip is pragmatic about it, and Ruth is not happy with that attitude, nor indeed with the barn, which she now thinks is looking a bit tatty. Maybe if they did it up and made it a bit more shiny they'd get more bookings, only they can't afford shiny. Pip points out that it's a barn and people don't come to a barn for shiny: they come for authentic rustic experience on a working farm. Ruth continues to whinge. Pip firmly repeats that they are not a luxury spa hotel and they are not pretending to be. Ruth mutters that they could have done with the income, and there are no weddings in the diary at the moment; Pip suggests that maybe they should do some marketing, but Ruth doesn't think they have the time and starts to list the jobs she has to do, all four of them, plus the printer being on its last legs. All this on top of actually being out in the fields farming; and they have to move the sheep this afternoon... Pip agrees that it's a lot, and it is exhausting at the moment, and Dad has definitely got it easier helping at The Bull, but she also thinks things might not look so bad after a cup of tea and a sandwich.

Denise has gone to find Paul, who is really very upset and as a result has forgotten his camp affectations and sounds a much less annoying person. She has spoken to his dad, who has told her they think Patricia has broken her ribs and her wrist and she's in a lot of pain. Paul wishes he could see her; Denise tries to comfort him and says she is in the best possible place where they will be doing everything they can. John is going to fly out as soon as possible: he's found a flight tomorrow, and once he's there and has seen her they'll know a lot more about how she's doing. Maybe Paul could have a video call with her when she feels up to it. Brokenly, he reminds her that he was planning to go out there in summer; Denise says he still can, but he is worried in case Patricia is not back on her feet by then. You hear it all the time: perfectly healthy people who have a fall and never recover. Denise robustly tells him to stop spiralling, but he can't help it. He's really worried about her and hates to think of her in that hospital all on her own. Denise exclaims at that: is he kidding her? Give her five minutes and she'll have taken over 'that hospital'; she'll be in her element, ruling the roost. Paul rather dismally hopes so. Denise then suggests that he should go with his dad, Which makes him even more anxious: does that mean she thinks Patricia is going to die? Denise tells him that of course she doesn't but sometimes you have to trust your instincts and drop everything; he should go on and see her. When he cavils about not being able to get time off work or pay for the flights she tells him firmly that she will sort it; he's going to see his grandma.

Moving the sheep was supposed to start at two but Pip is late; she explains to Ruth that she has been on the phone with Lily, who is doing her placement at Grey Gables and has suggested a possible additional use for the events barn as a venue for an authentic barn dance and farm experience for Gray Gables guests. They could bus people over [from a luxury hotel? Feck off. Gus] for an all-inclusive evening's entertainment. Lily is going to put the idea to the new events manager, and reckons she will go for it; she will ring Pip back as soon as she has spoken to this sucker her. Ruth forgives Pip for being late, especially if it comes off: this could be good for them, especially if they get regular bookings from Grey Gables. Wait till David hears! Pip jokes that he will be worried they don't need him at all. Ruth just reckons the sooner he's back on the farm, the better.

Lovell James has been talked by Alistair into letting Paul have a few weeks compassionate leave; he can go. He is very grateful to Alistair. But what about work? Denise and Alistair can cover that. And Denise and John will pay for his flights. Denise sends him home to get packed and ready; his dad is booking the flights now and with any luck they'll be leaving tomorrow morning, so he'll need to get to bed early if he can. He'll feel better once he's seen his grandma, and she'll feel better once she's seen him, Denise assures him. He does as he is told and goes home, still mercifully subdued. Denise then thanks Alistair, who is embarrassed by all the thanks he is getting. Denise explains that he and his grandmother have always been close even though she lives so far away; he talks to her once a week without fail and has done since he was a kid. Alistair wonders how long they will stay out in Saint Lucia and Denise reckons a few weeks at least; it will depend on how Patricia is, and it could be longer, but that's OK isn't it? Alistair is sure it is; more than OK and they will cope, won't they? Denise is about to go and sort through the diary moving anything that might be problematic when Alistair's phone pings a message; to his surprise, he's got a match on the dating app. Someone called Lisa has swiped right. Denise ceases to be grateful and friendly, and retreats behind her cold facade again, though she does ask if he is going to contact this 'match', and when he says probably not tells him that he should. If he wants to, she means. When he says that maybe he will, she briskly says 'good'. She then says there is lots to do and she had better get back to work, and Alistair rather blankly repeats 'Back to work.'

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 16th February, 2024

A tale of two topers.

Characters: David, Tony, Kenton, Harrison, Inspector Norris, Harry, bouncer, desk sergeant
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

On his seventy-third birthday, Tony is having a fine evening at The Bull but takes time when he comes over to collect drinks to ask David how Kenton is: he and Pat were just saying, what a terrible thing that was to happen; David says he is able to get up stairs now so yes, he's doing well. He then insists on buying the round for Tony, to repay him for his help with the calf; Tony confides that he hasn't actually had to put his hand in his pocket all evening. Kenton then appears and Tony greets him with great good humour. Jolene has insisted on changing the barrel, though David is quick to assure Kenton that he did offer to do it; when Kenton asks if he is all right for glasses, and if the mixers are stocked up, David tells him not to worry: leave it all to him.

As he is about to go and deal with a drunk outside a bar in Felpersham who is threatening to take his trousers down if they don't let him in, Harrison bumps into his boss, Inspector Norris. She is staying around to keep an eye on some developments in a case she is interested in, but when Harrison shows interest she tells him it is nothing to do with the dog attack and makes it clear that case is none of his business. What she can tell him is that the team are doing a great job and pulling out all the stops; she knows his wife must be worried, so please tell her they are on it.

Unspecified They are finally letting Tony buy a drink, and he wants the same again. David wonders how many it is now, and Tony airily tells him he's stopped counting: if he is slightly less than sober when he gets home he might sleep through the damn cat's mewing. He is at his wits' end and it's not funny: you can't say he hasn't tried, but there's no helping some people – or some cats; it is clear that he is in fact slightly less than sober already. She was turned away from the Kitten Klinic, to which he took her hoping for a few pointers: they wouldn't even let him take her out of her basket. He does an imitation of Hilda snarling, which cracks Kenton up; all the cute little kittens were cowering in the corners, enunciates Tony carefully; what is he supposed to do now? Banned from Kitten Klub! David has got the round ready, and Tony then realises that he has left his wallet in his coat and has to go and get it: he finds this very funny. When he has gone David asks whether he should do something, since he is a bit far gone, but Kenton is scornful [and is ignorant of the legal requirement not to serve alcohol to someone who is obviously drunk. Chris]: Tony's about to pay for a forty quid round, why would they want to get rid of him? He's merry, but hardly Withnail. David claims Tony is drunker than he's ever seen him [having been out of the village for the whole of 1979/80? He was at college in Cirencester, but they do allow holidays there. Chris] and Kenton points out that it's a pub and they tend to be all right with people being a bit drunk. He then leaves for the toilet as Tony comes back to pay for his drinks, initially tendering his bus pass rather than credit card. David suggests him having a pint of water with every pint as advocated by the government, and when Tony says he never pays any attention to anything they say, further suggests that he doesn't want to wake up with a hangover; Tony thinks that ship might have sailed, sadly.

To the sound of a cheerful mob in the background, Harry is repeatedly asking to be allowed back in because he needs a piss; when it isn't allowed, he urinates in the street. Harrison arrives and asks him to turn round; after he has finished taking his leak Harry recognises Harrison as 'Alice's mate', strives for his name via Maurice, then says 'Morrison's' and laughs raucously. It's Harrison, isn't it? Harrison is afraid it's 'Sergeant Burns' tonight. After minor argument about him having taken off his top because he was hot, and threatening to take off his underwear because he was hot, and being hot not being a crime, Harrison persuades him that since it is cold outside he should put his shirt back on; Harry, still laughing raucously at intervals, repeats that he wants to go inside, and the bouncer asks Harrison to get rid of him, to which Harrison replies that he is doing his best, mate. If they won't let him in, Harry decides he will dance where he is, all night. It's a public place and they can't stop him. Harrison tries to clear the crowd, and suggests finding somewhere they can have a chat, but Harry doesn't want to chat: he wants to dance, and to drink. He left a full pint in there and he wants it back. Harrison, who doesn't think that is going to happen, offers him a lift home, which Harry indignantly refuses; but he admits he is tired, and then apologises for upsetting Harrison the other day, about children. However, when guided towards the police car he jibs and says he isn't going home in that, then jangles his car keys [which is a good trick in these days of fobs. Chris] and says he can drive himself. Harrison finally arrests him for being drunk and disorderly, and cautions him.

When Jolene opens a bottle of Prosecco for Mandy Beesborough with a loud 'pop' David is startled; Kenton wants to know if he's all right, because he seems a bit on edge. Tony comes back to the bar because they'd now like some crisps, a few bags of whatever flavour. He is now slurring his words somewhat, and confides to Kenton that David, Kenton's brother, was a bit concerned about his alcohol consumption (this last very carefully pronounced); in the voice of one recounting the absurd, Tony adds that David was trying to get him to have some water! David asks two-eighty-five for the crisps and says that water is just a good idea; Kenton asks him quietly what he is playing at. Cornered, David says he was worried, and then when Tony asks what he thought Tony might do says 'nothing' in a harassed way; he just wanted everyone to have a nice quiet evening. He's sorry; he didn't mean to offend Tony. Tony, however, is not offended; if anything he's rather flattered. Kenton has a moment of realisation: it's not Tony that David is worried about, it's him. David reluctantly admits that it shocked him seeing how shaken up Kenton was the other night and it made him realise what an awful thing Kenton is going through, so he felt bad that his and Lilian's bickering had made it worse. He just wanted to protect him from stress. So he thought he would protect him from Tony Archer? asks Kenton incredulously; David admits it does sound silly, but Tony thinks it sounds lovely. Kenton advises David not to listen to Tony because he is three sheets in the wind, but Tony is serious: siblings are important, he asserts earnestly, and it's too easy to take each other for granted or find each other intoler, intolerable, and impossible, and irritating, but God, you really know about it when they're not there any more. He'd give anything for one more argument with Jenny! David cavils that they didn't really argue and Tony says no more than any other siblings, but that's what he means: who else are you so close to that you can argue and know that they'll still be there? They are very lucky to have each other, says Tony, retreating with his crisps. David remarks that he told Kenton Tony was smashed, and Kenton takes it all back, Tony's a liability. Keep an eye on him. Oh, and Dave? Thanks.

The contents of Harry's pockets are being confiscated preparatory to his being put into a cell for the night. He's lost his mobile phone, apparently. He goes off with the custody sergeant singing out 'Jobsworth!' and Inspector Norris remarks 'Charming.' Harrison informs her that this one is a real smooth talker: he thought he could just give him a talking to, but ... 'The pants came off?' she suggests. So to speak, agrees Harrison, laughing. He hopes it's just a one-off. She thinks the chances are it's Harry's idea of a Friday night well spent; she prefers a chocolate biscuit in front of Corrie.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 18th February, 2024

Vince and Emma have been making enquiries, but only one of them gets any thanks.

Characters: David, Jolene, Vince, Ed, Emma
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Julie Beckett
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The drunkenness of Tony is being laughed over at the Bull and it is being decided that life is looking up, though Fallon was a bit worried yesterday because Harrison had been worried by a problem at work, and as Jolene says there are always ups and downs. David is also dismissive of the bad feeling between him and Lilian, or as Jolene offers, the spat, or tiff; he suggests it was a difference of opinion, which makes Jolene laugh at him. When Vince comes in David immediately goes off to take out some empties, and Jolene stops laughing. He asks how she is, and then how she is really; he has discovered a name for her. She doesn't seem delighted that he has kept his promises to her about telling no-one and finding out about whoever it was who caused Kenton's injuries, and tries to stop him. He's made a few quiet enquiries and has found out a bit about the scum who might have been involved. She doesn't really want him to continue, but he does anyway: the name of guy she thought she recognised is 'Markie', and Vince has his eyes on another couple who might be mixed up in it. Jolene really doesn't want to know: things have quieted down, she tells him, and she's been thinking the problem might have gone away. Vince doesn't reckon it will do that, not with that sort, but Jolene makes the excuse of people needing to be served and goes away.

In a comic interlude, Ed and Emma bemoan the lack of cash for their tree-surgery ambitions. Emma makes suggestions about what they can do to improve matters, using 'climbing a mountain stage by stage' (instead of looking at the summit) as a metaphor; Ed, obtuse beyond human credibility, fails to understand everything she says, repeating her words incredulously. Finally grasping it, he asks what their first camp is, and she replies 'Grazing the ten acres.' He is totally unable to think about this as possible, but it turns out that Emma has consulted with a woman at the National Sheep Association who did have a useful suggestion to make.

Vince has pursued Jolene to the stock-room, where he has another go at persuading her to listen to him about what needs to be done to counter the threat from Markie and his lads. She has told him what she wants, she says: she wants to forget this ever happened. It will suit her fine if it just stays quiet for the foreseeable, the way it has been for weeks. She doesn't think much of the chance of putting the scumbags away, as Vince puts it: in an ideal world she wants that, but it isn't an ideal world. Vince doesn't like the idea of them roaming free to do what they like, but she can't take on the responsibility of preventing that. The more Vince says, the more distressed she becomes, until Vince realises that Markie has come back and put on the frighteners, and she has been frightened. She denies it at first but has to admit he came back after they last spoke, and begs Vince to leave it alone. He may be trying to stop it from happening again, but she has heard nothing from Markie since he came round after her first conversation with Vince, and that's the way she wants it to stay. She wants it to stop right here.

Ed thinks it's a crazy idea to talk direct to Miles Titchener as advocated by the Sheep Association lady, but he is too late; Emma has taken her advice, done what Ed has assumed to be impossible and discovered Miles Titchener's telephone number, rung him, and got his agreement to see them about them being prepared to benefit the land by grazing it for eleven months of the year if that's what he wants. Ed is bowled out by this neat idea, though he doesn't understand why only eleven months until Emma explains that if they did a year it would establish a full tenancy, which would tie Miles' hands. That might make him decide against them. Anyway, exults Emma, he sounded fairly keen, and since he will be in Ambridge tomorrow to have a chat with Oliver, he will meet Ed and Emma as well; she said they can meet him at the site. Ed is astonished and delighted by her brilliance: they're in, they're actually in! They'll have to play it careful, though: they don't want to go mucking up an opportunity like this.

Later, Vince comes in with Elizabeth and David offers to get rid of him for Jolene if he is bothering her, but when Vince actually comes over for a menu he challenges David to say hello to his sister and David goes to do that, leaving Vince yet again trying to talk sense into Jolene. She repeats that she wants things as they are, quiet; he repeats that they won't stay like that, and when she says that Markie told her they would stay quiet if she did Vince pours scorn on the idea that Markie will keep his word. She tremulously asks what she is supposed to do in that case, and Vince tells her she does have a choice: she could tell the police and hand the whole thing over to them. She protests that Markie would know if she did that, so Vince suggests talking to Harrison off the record, which she clearly thinks a non-starter. Vince is certain that she needs to do one of those two things, and do it sooner rather than later.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 19th February, 2024

Minding other people's business is another Ambridge speciality.

Characters: Emma, Natasha, Ed, Will, Elizabeth, Vince
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Julie Beckett
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Leaving the tea-room ten minutes before the end of a shift seems a bigger deal to Emma than to Natasha, who willingly gives her permission to go early, especially since her manager, Fallon, has already told her it is all right. When asked, she admits it is a business meeting she needs to get to, and Natasha wishes her good luck with it. Ed and Will then come in, Ed to collect her and Will for a coffee, but it is clear that Ed has told Will all about what is going on. He wants to muscle in on their meeting 'in an advisory capacity', and indeed offers to 'negotiate' for them. They are less than enthusiastic about the idea. He tries hard not to take 'no' for an answer, and Ed doesn't help by letting him think they don't know what they are going to say and are planning to rehearse it. Ed is particularly opposed to Will pitching in, and Will tells him that is a very negative attitude to take into a meeting. The two men start to argue in raised voices, until Emma intervenes and tells them to knock it on the head.

Elizabeth has decided that there was something wrong with Jolene when she and Vince were in The Bull, and that it is something she ought to become involved in. Vince is dismissive but agrees she could have a word with Jolene, remarking in an avuncular way that it can't do any harm.

Will has no idea why Miles wanted Ed to show him the land; Will could have done it much better, apparently. He and Emma worry in case Ed is messing up all the work Emma put in earlier. Will wonders whether Miles wangled it so the weakest link would show him the land [why would he need to wangle it? A simple 'perhaps Ed could show me the land now' would have done the trick. Chris], a phrase to which Emma takes exception: Ed's not the weakest link, he's just sometimes better with sheep than people. She also can't see why Will turned up with a thumbstick, and accuses him of only carrying it so he can do his 'wise old countryman' routine – like Miles Titchener is going to fall for that! She and Will start to squabble about which of them was making better points with Miles Titchener. Ed comes back on his own, which worries both of them until he says Miles has gone to take his boots back to the car and drive round to meet them at the gate. Will expresses surprise he hasn't given Ed the elbow, and Ed retorts that is a very negative attitude, if Will doesn't mind him saying so. Emma asks anxiously if that means the deal is still on, and Ed tells her Miles has agreed it. There is general rejoicing, following which Ed tells them that Miles is going to get an agreement drawn up, and charge them no rent. Ed also put in a good word for George and his farming social media stuff, and Miles thinks some of his acquaintances might be keen. Emma is delighted: it's a win-win.

True to her word, or perhaps in accordance with her threat, Elizabeth has gone to see Jolene and gone upstairs with her so they can have a proper talk. Jolene at first assumes that Elizabeth is in some difficulty she wants to discuss, and is taken aback when Elizabeth tells her that on the contrary, it is Jolene she is worried about. Jolene manages not to tell Elizabeth anything at all about what is actually bothering her in spite of all the prodding Elizabeth can do or pressure about returning previous favours that she can bring to bear. Kenton inadvertently rescues her with a message to say she is needed in the bar because three car-loads of ramblers just turned up, and Jolene has a perfectly good reason to stop letting Elizabeth put pressure on her.

Back at the tea-room Emma is there before she is back on shift; she and Ed have come in for coffee, and in Ed's case two slices of carrot cake. Natasha pumps them about their meeting and establishes that it went really well, at which news she says she is really pleased. She goes to fetch their order and Ed and Emma discuss what else they need to do to climb their mountain: they have the bank thing on Friday and then, as Emma says, they are going to kick-start that tree-surgery business with the loan. Ed reminds her that they can't take it for granted: it's only an interview, not a done deal, but Emma is still riding high on their success: that was only an interview, and they smashed it. Ed reveals that Miles told him he had almost made up his mind after the phone call with Emma; she is pleased and flattered. Ed adds that Will did all right, and Emma concurs. Ed thinks they have two things going for them: the grazing rights and the bank interview. Emma also got a good grade for an assignment about Edward Thomas' poem 'Tall Nettles'. Natasha brings them two coffees and three slices of cake, and Emma advises Ed to eat fast: he has tree-planting at Home Farm in a bit. He tells her she can read 'Tall Nettles' to him tonight. Natasha asks what this is about but Emma doesn't want to tell her; no, it is nothing to do with their grazing arrangements really. Natasha now rains on their parade by advising them not to count any chickens with Miles Titchener: he's a Titchener, and he's a creep and he's a rat. Emma protests that he has been straight with them, but Natasha is 'only saying'. Emma however reckons that he may be Rob's brother but he's nothing like him, and that they are going to be all right.

When Elizabeth reports back to Vince that she is still sure something is wrong, but she doesn't know what, he tells her she is a good woman, then invents having left his phone on the bar. He asks Elizabeth to bring the car round, and goes to try to get a word with Jolene himself.

Jolene knows he didn't put Elizabeth up to it, but is feeling a bit badgered all the same. Elizabeth has changed Jolene's mind about simply lying and saying she had talked to Harrison and been told to wait and see; she now plans to see Harrison tomorrow and tell him everything.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 20th February, 2024

Nailing skin to walls. And some vaguer class of threat.

Characters: Tony, Vince, Natasha, Elizabeth, Jolene, Markie
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Julie Beckett
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The trip to Paris was a great success, as Tony tells Vince and Natasha, but what apparently impressed the boys most was not PSG but the trains to Paris and back, and the Metro. The break has done Helen the world of good. Natasha hopes to hear all about it from Helen herself when she pops into the tea-room later, and Vince remarks she'll find it greatly changed, though he admits he hasn't been in for a while. Tony asks what he makes of the 'ree-fresh', and he says he quite likes it; in fact he'd go so far as to say it's quite possibly the second best tea-room in Borsetshire.

Not one to let well alone, Elizabeth has come to pester Jolene some more, though she says she can't stay long. She tells Jolene that she is her number one priority at the moment, but she has just dropped in on her way to a trustees' meeting in Hollerton, a working lunch, and The Bull was on her way. [And so indeed it is, more or less. That's a surprise: a scriptwriter who has one of the maps! Chris.] She admits that she is just naturally nosy. Jolene claims not to be so bad this morning because she has listened to Elizabeth and made a decision rather than drifting. She's going to have a word with a professional sort of someone; Elizabeth congratulates her on a good decision. Jolene accepts that it's not 'problem solved', but reckons it's a start. Indeed, she's feeling up to a big food shop in Borchester this afternoon, first one she's had the heart to do in ages, and she is looking forward to it. Elizabeth invites herself along.

Vince is not allowed to get away with the 'second best tea-room' throwaway line; Natasha pursues him and demand to know which he thinks is the best. He tells her the very best is The Jolly Trivet in Brampton Green. When pressed as to how Natasha could reverse the order and thereby get the Casey Award for Best in Borsetshire, he suggests that since they too had a make-over, The Jolly Trivet has wall hangings, sheepskins, which he thinks relax you and invite you in. At the same time it suggests the countryside: you're inside, warm and comfortable, but you're still in touch with your rural surroundings. And something else: it deadens the sound. The Ambridge tea-room is noisy. He reckons wall-hangings would be a big improvement at a stroke, but not sheepskin; up to her of course, it's her ambience they're talking about, but people won't think sheepskins are original and he suggests cow-hide. It's rural, it would deaden the sound, and they wouldn't have far to look to find cow hides on Bridge Farm.

The coffee at a supermarket café gets slightly surprised praise from Elizabeth, and Jolene is happy because her day has gone well: nothing happened, completely uneventful, which is what she wants. She then quizzes Elizabeth about Lily and Freddie and what they are up to; Elizabeth is surprised and pleased about how well Freddie is fitting in at the abattoir. Harrison sends Jolene a message saying he'll be delayed at work and won't be able to see her at five. And since Elizabeth is asking, he might be the one Jolene said she'd talk to, yes; or he might not be. Elizabeth denies asking, and doesn't want to hear anything Jolene doesn't want to tell her; if she is talking to someone who might help it doesn't matter who that is so long as they can help. Now she's afraid she's got to get back to the ever-growing pile of correspondence clogging her in-box, and Jolene still has shopping to do. Jolene stands up to get ready to leave as well, and no sooner is Elizabeth gone than someone comes over from behind her, asks if the seat is free and when told they both are, tells Jolene to sit back down. She tries to say she has to go shopping and he repeats his instruction with more menace, though he claims that all he is doing is finding out how she is. She says she doesn't know him, but he is sure she does: his name's Markie, but he reckons she knows that, doesn't she.

Natasha has gone to run her new idea past Tony, who agrees there would indeed be a more absorbent acoustic; a couple of hides on the wall would mean much less bounce-back and get rid of the school dinner effect. His choice of comparison alarms Natasha, especially when he says the tea-room sometimes puts him in mind of a big echoey space with wall-bars and scrapey chairs and big old aluminium bowls swilling with cabbagey gravy. [Funny school where they have meals in the gym. Chris.] He enthuses about softening the sound which takes him back in this way, and they agree cowhides would be a good idea, particularly since Tony has two Anguses at the abattoir today for slaughter tomorrow [contrary to Government guidelines. Chris] and though nowadays hides get exported to Europe, but if he gives Vince a call Tony could get them; he wouldn't mind waiting around a bit for them. They'd have to be tanned before they could use them. and Tony knows where there is a traditional tannery not far from Borchester. Natasha tells him he is a marvel and kisses his cheek; he disclaims and says that's just the practical side of things, and it takes someone like her to make it happen in the first place.

Apparently Markie was a big fan of Jolene's back in the day so of course he recognised her. He still is a fan, and he still follows her, he remarks ominously, before going on about country music having been her scene. She just wants to know what he wants; he denies having said he wanted anything but when she tries to go tells her again to sit down. It would be rude to walk off when they were talking: she didn't do that with Elizabeth, did she. Him knowing who Elizabeth is leads Jolene to warn him not to go near her; he is unimpressed at the idea of her warning him, and tells her that's not how this works. He's not there to listen to her, or be warned, he's there to remind her what he told her when he called round a couple of weeks back. She admits she does remember that occasion. She's got a nice little village boozer there, he says; let's see if they can keep it nice, shall they? By not talking; not to Elizabeth, to our bloke, to friends and family, whoever they am, for her sake and theirs. [He still doesn't say what she is not to talk about; perhaps he doesn't know.... It's the unwritten code. Chris.]

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 21st February, 2024

Rawhide! Also, has Harrison harassed Harry?

Characters: Tony, Vince, Harry, Harrison, Natasha
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Julie Beckett
Editor: Jeremy Howe

All has gone well at the abattoir; Tony's cattle were kept there overnight and slaughtered the following day [why, when he lives about six miles away? Chris] and he is there to ask Vince to set the hides aside for him. They talk about Jolene and her having gone back to being edgy again today; Vince says she has lots of reasons for being upset at the moment, with which Tony agrees, adding his own drunken behaviour as a further reason for her to be unhappy; Vince reassures him that even his singing was not particularly awful. He's sure Jolene has more to contend with that Tony's Andy Williams impressions.

Outside Borchester Police Station Harry 'bumps into' Harrison, off to get some sandwiches; he claims it is 'lucky' and puts it down to coincidence, but Harrison clearly thinks he has in fact been hanging about hoping to engineer an encounter.

Vince is now showing Tony the hydraulic hide-puller which gets the hides off dead animals in one piece; Tony remarks that it's a while since he saw any of his cattle dispatched, and he should make time to do it now and again; Vince is happy to arrange for this. Meanwhile, he can take the two hides he came for with him; he is planning to get them tanned locally before they grace the walls of the tea-room. Vince makes approving noises.

What Harry wants is to say sorry for what happened on Friday. He doesn't know how it came about: maybe someone spiked his drink, because he's not normally like that. Harrison is politely dubious. Harrison is right that he was hoping to see him, he wanted to say sorry for letting himself down. When asked whether it's a regular occurrence with the drink he say no, he genuinely doesn't drink much, just party drinking from time to time like most people; Harrison asks how often that is, and whether perhaps what he sees as occasionally or from time to time might be what other people might call frequently – which might start to look like a problem. Harry thinks that is surely a matter of interpretation, but Harrison would call it a matter of record: he has looked Harry up. He's seen the number of incidents and the dates up to this latest, and the driving ban. Harry tries to argue that a list is always going to emphasise things, but Harrison is having none of it: Harry may not remember it, but last Friday he was all for jumping in that fancy car of his and driving off. Harry denies that he would; he's clean now [oops what a giveaway! Chris], that ban's been served out, and he was doing nothing illegal connected to driving. Harrison points out this was because Harrison stopped him. Can Harry not see why it worries him? Apart from the threat to the public in general, there's Alice, and Martha. As far as Harrison knows, Alice believes Harry isn't a drinker and hardly touches the stuff; is that right? Harry admits he hasn't told her about his brushes with the law, or the driving ban, but also asserts that he cares for Alice and knows about her problem: he'll do whatever it takes. He'll lay off the drink, starting now. After a pause, Harrison reminds him that when he was cautioned he was given contact details for various groups that could help him with this, but Harry says he has not yet been in touch; Harrison will now write down a name and a phone number for him so he can get in touch; today, if he can. The guy's name is Matty, and he can help. Harry is full of protests that he will do it.

Tony is having trouble with his computer, looking for a tannery; the one he used to use went bust last year and the nearest one seems to be more than three hundred miles away. Natasha is disappointed by this, and by how much it would cost to have the hides treated: several thousand pounds is more than she had in mind. Tony can send the hides back to Vince and they'll go with the rest for export to Europe, and he has been looking at hides already tanned; they might not be Bridge Farm hides but the basic idea of adding to the ambience and softening the sound remains the same, and those are about two hundred pounds each. Natasha thinks they should give it a try.

Harrison comes upon Harry having a drink, and surprises him; by his speech, he seems slightly drunk, and also what he says is punctuated with sniffs [can this be because of nose-candy? Chris]. It's not a coincidence this time either; Harrison was driving by and saw Harry's car outside a pub so he thought he'd look in and see how it was going. Harry initially seems not displeased and says that's nice, the caring arm of the law, but when Harrison tries to talk to him about contacting the number he gave him earlier, he tries at first to pretend that he rang it and made an appointment to see Matty on Monday. Then Harrison asks where that would be and he doesn't know, finally admitting that he has not yet called. But he will. Harrison thinks Harry has to talk to Alice about this. Harry says no, he doesn't, and the suggestion of an honest conversation putting her in the picture leads him to say that's not going to be necessary because he fully intends to phone Harrison's 'Matty' person only it wasn't possible today because he wasn't answering. He'll definitely try again tomorrow. Harrison says that's definitely good, but speak to Alice too. And get a taxi home, mate. When Harrison asks when Harry is seeing Alice, Harry informs him stiffly that is none of his business, and he won't tell her because it would only distress her. Harrison thinks he should give her a chance to make her own decision, but Harry repeats that there is no need, and starts to get angry: she is in no danger from him. Harrison suggests it would be better coming from him, but if he doesn't do it, Harrison will; he'd have to. Tell her what, though, inquires Harry, and based on what? Based on records he's not allowed to share with anyone outside of the force, Harry presumes; is that what he'd do? He's not sure Harrison has thought this through: people might think he's harassing someone who's simply going about his lawful business. Harry has contacts in Harrison's line of work, and they would take a very dim view of this. Harrison asks what he's saying, and is told: Harry is saying that if he told Alice, he'd be breaking police rules, and Harry would have to make sure the right people knew that he'd done that, wouldn't he.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 22nd February, 2024

Vince apologises, Fallon improvises, Alice and the car park remain in the dark.

Characters: David, Elizabeth, Harry, Alice, Harrison, Fallon, Vince
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Julie Beckett
Editor: Jeremy Howe

David and Elizabeth are concerned about the lighting in The Bull car park; there is a dark corner which they decide needs another light directed at it from an existing post. Elizabeth proposes to call Pete, who did the earlier rewiring; David insists he can do it free and not involve Kenton and Jolene in more expense. Elizabeth wonders how he thinks Jolene is getting on, but he doesn't know: she seems very quiet, and him thinking she is still worried about security is his reason for wanting to sort out the extra light.

Harry and Alice see Harrison going towards the shop, and Harry calls him over. He jocularly says they keep on running into each other, which surprises both Harrison and Alice, and tells them both about having met Harrison when he went into a pub yesterday to buy some crisps and found Harrison having a quick half after work. Harrison agrees that Harry did say he was starving, and Alice is indignant: so he was buying crisps while he was on his way to dinner with her! All his dark secrets are coming out now, she avers. Harrison asks if they are off out, and is told that Alice is on her way to work and Harry is going home to pack before a trip to Carlisle tonight to look at a young horse; Alice and Martha are going with him on a road trip for a couple of days. [Martha is not quite three years old. I would not take her on such a trip. Chris] Harrison replies that that is nice, then 'remembers' he has to ask Fallon something and goes hastily back to Woodbine Cottage. Harry remarks that he clearly forgot something vital, then goes on to comment that Alice hasn't seen his car put through its paces but all that changes tonight.

Fallon is on the phone with her mother when Harrison gets back in, without the milk he went out for and clearly worried about something. He says he saw Alice with Harry, and he is taking her to Carlisle tonight. With Martha. In the car. They can't do that, he says earnestly. She understandably has no idea what he is talking about, but realises something is seriously wrong when he tells her they shouldn't be in Harry's car, and it's not safe. He can't explain, and she becomes worried that he thinks Alice is in some sort of danger. From Harry? she asks incredulously, and he agrees that he thinks so. Exasperated, she tells him this is like talking to Lassie: just tell her! He doesn't, saying there's things he knows but he can't say; he's not allowed to, so she grasps that this is 'a police thing'. What he can tell her is that he saw him last night in a pub, in Borchester, and he'd been drinking. Fallon enquires sharply whether drinking is what this is about, and he doesn't reply; she asks him please not to tell her Harry has a drink problem, and the silence continues. She asks whether Alice knows, and Harrison says she wouldn't go if she knew. He adds anxiously that she'd be with him driving all the way to Carlisle with Martha. Fallon suggests that maybe he keeps clear of drink when he's driving, and Harrison immediately replies that he doesn't. Fallon asks if he is actually banned, and Harrison says not now, but he has been: he's just completed a ban. [At this point Harrison is telling Fallon something he only knows through work, so he might just as well not have gone through the whole rigmarole in the first place. Chris.] Legally Harry can drive, but he saw him on Friday absolutely wrecked and prepared to get in his car. Fallon exclaims that Harrison has to warn Alice, tell her about the ban, and when he says he's not supposed to pass that on says that she can. Harrison asks how she would know Harry's just completed a drink-drive ban: Alice will realise it came from him, and that could finish his career. When Fallon protests that they can't just let her get in Harry's car, Harrison gloomily pronounces that there is no way round it and he will have to tell her, but Fallon says she will think of something.

David is busy with his plan when Elizabeth comes and tells him that she's talked to Vince, who thinks it's the right thing to do and has offered to help. David doesn't in the least want his help, and makes this plain, but Elizabeth blames Vince's involvement on Kenton having been consulted by Vince and said yes. Elizabeth was wondering if David thinks they could work together on this. Vince has already gone to fetch his tool-box.

Alice invites Fallon in, and Harry is also there; he claims not to be able to tear himself away. Fallon manages to convey that she wants to speak to Alice about something private, and Harry goes away to make tea; once the two women are alone together [with Harry behind the totally sound-proof door between sitting-room and kitchen in the tiny cottage. Chris] she says she feels silly telling this to Alice, but she's been talking with her mother and it's left her nervous on her own in Woodbine Cottage at night. Harrison starts night-shifts tonight and she's frightened. Alice, unprompted, invites her to stay the night at The Nest. She protests she'll be in the way, but Alice says Harry's got to go to Carlisle so he won't be there, and calls to Harry to tell him she has invited Fallon to stay the night: is it OK? He'll be in Carlisle on his own. He says he really doesn't mind. [Considering it seems to be the first he's heard about his weekend being scuppered by Alice on a whim, he takes it extraordinarily well. Chris]

The unwilling collaboration with Vince does not go particularly well, with each man trying to baffle the other with bullshit, and eventually David tells Vince point blank that in spite of all his support for Kenton and Jolene [when? How does David know of it? Chris], which he and they appreciate, what Vince did to Ben, and Chelsea, was heartless. Vince says that he is sorry about those kids, but David goes on: and he can't forget it, or forgive. Not really. Vince admits that he lashed out, and he regrets that. They agree that they are not really able to replace the security light, and agree to call in Pete.

Harrison is very relieved that Fallon will be spending the night on Alice's sofa and Alice won't be heading north with Harry. Alice may or may not have believed Fallon's story, but she looked at her a bit funny. It worked for now, but when Harry gets back they're going to have to do something about him and Alice.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 23rd February, 2024

A skeleton in the cupboard is revealed, while a migrating corpse causes no comment.

Characters: Ed, Emma, Will, Alice, Fallon, Harrison
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Julie Beckett
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Having got a lift in to town from Will [why? They have their own car. Chris], Ed and Emma are as ready as they can manage to be for their interview with the bank manager. They do however mess about a little before Will leaves them, because they are nervous even though they have a brilliant plan and Emma has been through all the figures repeatedly.

After her night on Alice's sofa Fallon is being put through an inquisition by Alice, who wants to know what she was really there for. She has been thinking about Fallon being a bit funny with Harry at The Stables yesterday. [This is utterly confusing, because what we heard seemed to be at The Nest. Was it meant to be at The Stables that Harry went out to make a cup of tea? Chris.] Before that Harrison was, too, when they saw him outside the shop: he was distant as if he were putting up a barrier, but why would he do that? Fallon claims ignorance, even when Alice says she thought maybe they didn't like Harry. She also denies that Harry's comment about having children has anything to do with anything, and tries to get away, but Alice is determined and also is not sure she believes Fallon. This is something to do with Harry, and Fallon is not saying what. Fallon tries for a second time to go, since she has to open up the tea-room, but Alice demands an answer that is what she wants to hear rather than one she doesn't want, so Fallon offers her the possibility that maybe they thought it was all too quick: nothing against Harry, but they did wonder if she was rushing into this.

Clearly the interview with the bank manager was a failure; Ed and Emma are very cast down as Will drives them home. Will is really sorry, and asks whether the bank gave any reasons; Ed says they had lots of reason but were just rubbing their noses in it really, and Emma those amounted to telling them they had no guarantee they could pay it back if something went wrong, and then comes out with the old line about them lending money to people who don't need it so they can keep their foot on the people who do. [Which is balderdash in this case, because not lending money to a bad risk is not keeping your foot on them; it is not lending them money. The bank does not have its foot on Ed nor Emma. Chris.] Will repeats that he is sorry, then asks whether they mind stopping by at the church; he won't be long. It's the anniversary of Nic's death, and he has some flowers in the boot. [Which he proposes to leave at the church rather than on her grave in the Green Burial Site where she was buried? That was donated by Brian and is not part of the extant graveyard. Chris.] Emma is mortified at having forgotten, but Will assures her that Nic wasn't the sort to get hung up on anniversaries. He asks them to stay in the car, if they don't mind, while he just goes and sees Nic; he'll give their loan a bit of a think while he's there.

Tearfully, Fallon tells Harrison at the tea-room that she's just made things worse: he asks what she said, which turns out to be that she and Harrison thought Alice and Harry were maybe going too quick and did they maybe want to consider slowing things down or taking a break. She had to say something, she protests; Alice kept pressing her. Harrison is worried that they got into a row about it, and Fallon tells him that Alice ended up having a go at both of them: she said that Fallon was only saying all that about Harry [Fallon having said nothing about Harry! She lied like a trooper and said they had nothing against him. Chris] because there was something wrong with her own relationship, and that Fallon was projecting her insecurity onto them. Harrison reassures her that Alice is only saying all that because she feels hurt that they've taken against Harry. Fallon also tells him that Alice didn't believe her story about getting in a panic when he's on nights. Harrison tells her not to blame herself: he shouldn't have told her in the first place, and should have given it more thought. [True dat. Chris.] He thinks he had better go and see Alice.

When he does go down to The Stables he finds Alice typing in the office. She is extremely short with him: she's working and hasn't got time to talk. She has no time for him, in fact. When he says she's got hold of the wrong end of the stick she fires up with the words 'oh, so this is all my fault, is it?' [Well, yes, actually it is. Chris.] She is unpleasant and sarcastic, but he manages to keep his temper and get her to admit that Fallon did not say in so many words that she should break up with her boyfriend; she is however clear that what Fallon meant was that because Fallon can't trust Harry, Alice should get rid of him. Since they both think that, Harrison is not to tell her she's wrong. Harrison heavily tells her that's not what he's saying. This gets through to Alice: does Harrison really think she can't trust Harry? Harrison tells her that what he is saying is that she doesn't know the whole story. When she asks what the whole story is, he asks her to trust him on this: there are reasons she should be careful of Harry Chilcott. She demands to know what they are, and he tells her repeatedly that he can't tell her. How can she believe him, she asks indignantly, when he tells her not to trust Harry but doesn't give her a single reason why? Shrilly, she wants to know why, if it's Harrison's word against Harry's, she should believe Harrison. After a long pause, he agrees to tell her what he knows, but begs her not to repeat what he's about to say, then asks her to sit down.

When he gets back to the car Will apologises to Ed and Emma for having lost track of time. They disclaim, and Ed says it's nice to be in the fresh air after their morning. Emma says it's really peaceful, and Will agrees; you can really get your thoughts sorted out. He then drops a minor bombshell: Ed and Emma ought not to give up on the tree surgery idea just yet, because there might be a way. Ed grumbles that most ways they've already tried [what were those, then? The bank loan is the only one we've heard about. Chris] but Will just wants to know the cost. Ed and Emma tell him there's a four-week course, so accommodation for that time, and the gear's going to cost a good bit, so over all, twenty grand plus. Emma asks dispiritedly who they know who could lay hands on that sort of money, and Will cheerfully replies 'Me.' He's been thinking about it with Nic: she'd say, 'Life is short and you have to grab your chances while you can, or they'll slip away and you'll miss them.' Emma is stunned: he'll do that, for them? Yes; Will can raise a mortgage on Number One, The Green. They are to think about it, and when they're ready, tell him what they want to do.

Harrison's revelation about Harry has shaken Alice badly; she took a long time to trust him, and when she did she trusted him completely, and was really sure of him, and all the time he's betrayed all that. Harrison is deeply sorry, but when she says Harry has betrayed her is not so sure he means to do that; he may not even know he has a problem. Alice rightly points out that he knows enough to lie and to cover his tracks. He's never even hinted about it; she would have noticed. When she thinks how scared she was about telling him about her – and Harrison tells her that took a lot of courage – and she felt so small and frightened, like a child, and yet she told him because she didn't want any secrets between them. Harrison asks what she'll do now, and she doesn't know. Yes, she does, she decides; she'll face him with it when he gets back, she'll confront him and see what he has to say. After that she really doesn't know what she'll do. [Make a loud and self-pitying fuss, probably. Gus.]

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 25th February, 2024

Jolene has the jitters, Harrison is a help, and Fallon is obsessive.

Characters: Jolene, Kenton, Fallon, Harrison, Tracy
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Jolene has taken Kenton tea and toast in bed, and they chat about him feeling well enough to be the quiz-master this week, until she happens to look out of the window and sees someone in the car-park. She leaves Kenton to his breakfast and rushes away.

Harrison's Sunday morning lie-in is destroyed shortly after seven by his phone ringing; he instructs the caller to stay in the pub and not go out while he goes to see who it is. Fallon asks what's going on and is told her mum says someone has just tried to break in and is hanging about in the car-park; Harrison is going to go and take a look. He doesn't want Fallon to go with him: just wait there, please. In the course of dressing he loses his phone, then finds it again, blaming this on his being tired, having been awake half the night thinking about Harry and Alice. Fallon says that she has been too, and they agree to talk later when Harrison gets back. As he leaves he promises to be careful.

In The Bull car-park Harrison approaches the intruder; it is Tracy, out for an early morning walk, who has seen a load of logs for the pub fire left out in the rain and is moving it to shelter. He tells her Jolene thought she was a burglar, which somewhat surprises Tracy, but he's not going to arrest her today.

Jolene is utterly apologetic when Harrison and Tracy go into the pub; they both say it's fine, and when Jolene says it is like the boy who cried wolf Tracy reminds her that in that story the boy didn't think he saw a wolf at all, he was just lying through his teeth until he did it too often and nobody believed him any more. She offers them both bacon butties, but neither wants one. She thanks Harrison again and reiterates that she feels stupid; he tells her not to be silly, and not to let this stop her from calling him again if she needs to. He asks her to promise him, and also gets Tracy to tell her. Jolene promises, and he goes home to Fallon. Jolene says again that she is so embarrassed because she completely overreacted: they must both think she's mad. Tracy assures her that they don't; she thought it was an emergency, and what's the point of having a copper for a son-in-law if you can't call him in an emergency? She can see that Jolene is on edge; she wishes she'd just left the bloomin' logs where they were now! Jolene says she was right to try to bring them in, and both women wonder why they just left them in the car-park; Jolene didn't even know they were out there or she'd have brought them in herself. Tracy then starts to blame herself for Jolene being so throng and saying it's her fault for having been off work ill; Jolene offers her a bacon sarnie, but she would rather get home. She has a shift to get to later, even if Jazzer says David was doing a pretty good job and she was worried he might put her out of work. Jolene laughs scornfully at the idea. It was good of him to step in, but he and Lilian fought like cat and dog, which Tracy finds hilarious – or maybe not. Lilian isn't easy to please; she and Emma had enough of that over Christmas when she was having all the drama over Justin. Thank the lord that's all over, says Jolene devoutly. Tracy says good bye and see you later, and tells her again that everything is fine: no harm done, was there.

Fallon and Harrison are having a laugh about all's well that ends well, though Harrison is still concerned about her mum's scared state. Fallon thinks that's not surprising after the massive shock Jolene had, but Harrison doesn't know, and wonders if she needs a bit of counselling: it might be worth mentioning. [This may afford a clue that Jolene has not told him what is going on, which has not otherwise been made even slightly clear. Chris.] It would be better coming from Fallon, he feels. Fallon mentions that she was thinking she could make pancakes, because she fancies something treat-y, but what Harrison fancies is going back to bed, with her. So they do.

Jolene tells Kenton, who has just had another little snooze and heard her talking to Tracy and Harrison, that she thought someone was trying to break in, thus making Kenton say 'eh?' in astonishment.

Fallon and Harrison are discussing Harry: Fallon is sure he isn't going to make a complaint, because what would be the point? He'd have to be really vindictive to do that. And Alice has said she isn't going to tell him she found out about his drinking from Harrison. Harrison reckons he will work that out, because anyone could. Fallon recalls that Alice said she would protect him, and Harrison says that she said she would do her best, but Harry is bound to ask her. He is not as sanguine about it as Fallon. He is however sure that she is going to finish with Harry: she's got to, for her sake and Martha's sake. That is the thing Fallon is not sure of: she might see him and give him another chance. They both hope that she won't, but as Harrison remarks, if she does that then Harrison won't be in any trouble, will he. Harrison tells Fallon that he loves her and that she is basically his ideal woman, which immediately sets her off into discussing for the umpteenth time whether she can be if she doesn't want children. As usual he tells her they have sorted this and she denies that they have, and he tells her that he wants her more than he wants to be a dad, and that they don't have to talk about it ever again. She says she is sorry and she didn't mean to restart the conversation, to which he replies that it is fine. [One of these days she is going to start on this for the umpteenth time and he will reply, 'Yes, you're right. I've met someone who wants my children so I am planning to divorce you.' The she'll look all nohow, won't she? Chris.] He points out that they will have all the freedom people with children don't have and say they want, and Fallon agrees that if they had kids he would have to get up on a Sunday morning. Oh, wait he does. He says that it was one time, and, when she thanks him for going, protests that he wasn't going to say no, was he. That have a little more pillow-talk before she suggests she could make those pancakes, and he wonders if 'she' has seen 'him' yet, meaning Alice and Harry. He thought about speaking to Harry again, but Fallon doesn't really see the point. Harrison wants to tell him to be a grown-up, and think what's best for Alice and Martha and stop just thinking about himself. Fallon thinks he can't: that could go really wrong. He could say Harrison was putting pressure on him, or harassing him even, so it's potentially disastrous. He just has to let Alice deal with it: it's her battle to fight, not theirs.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 26th February, 2024

Nobody's opinion is changed from the start of the episode to the end.

Characters: Harry, Alice, Jazzer, Alistair, Neil
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Harry has come back with a present for Alice and another for Martha. He missed her; she notably doesn't say the same. He offers to get in food for them, but she ate with Martha. He shows her the video of the horse he has found in Carlisle, and enthuses about the horse and his pedigree; Alice expresses rather lukewarm interest. He becomes aware that all is not well, but she insists that it is and so he goes on: he wishes she had come too and seen the horse for real, and Cumbria is so beautiful. She asks him if he had a drink, and he wonders why she is asking him: it's a bit of a weird question. She just wondered, she tells him, and after a pause he replies that he didn't have a drink, no. It was a work trip. Right, says Alice neutrally.

In The Bull, Jazzer is sharing with Alistair the news about Jolene calling Harrison out on Tracy; Alistair asks sensible questions such as 'why didn't she just go and see who it was?', but he and Jazzer conclude that she was more upset about Kenton being attacked than they had previously thought. Jazzer feels that people should be warned to keep their eyes open, though Alistair is concerned this would just lead to Harrison being called out for nothing more often, and whilst it is better to be safe than sorry they don't want to encourage vigilantes; Jazzer is sure they wouldn't be doing that. He doesn't like feeling powerless: this is where his wife works and he wants her to be safe. Alistair is sure she is. He then apologises if he seemed dismissive and says it would be a massive relief to talk to someone about a thing that is bothering him, and Jazzer is willing to hear him – but as he is about to speak of whatever it is, Neil comes over and interrupts and the moment is lost. They chat instead about Neil going up in a helicopter with Susan later in the week, and about Neil too being concerned about Jolene.

Harry now admits that he does sometimes have one too many. He's not proud of it, but there is is. He tells her not to look like that; he doesn't want her to think something about him that isn't true. Alice goes back to his mother not wanting her near him for a reason, and having been lovely to her until she found out Alice had a drink problem; now she thinks that makes sense. Harry disputes it; she'll come round, she liked Alice. Alice tells him to listen to himself: they both know what her real problem is with Alice. What's more, Alice doesn't blame her.

Neil, Jazzer and Alistair have now decided to ask people to keep an eye out in order to reassure Jolene and put her mind at rest. Neil takes himself off again after arranging to see them at tomorrow's pub quiz, which will be run by Kenton. Jazzer feels it will be great to have Kenton as quiz-master again, and Alistair agrees that it's great he is getting back into things. Jazzer now wants to know what Alistair was about to say when they were interrupted, and after the brief obligatory reluctance Alistair spills the beans: he is falling in love with someone who isn't available, though for obvious reasons he won't say who it is. Jazzer immediately breaks his illusion: it's Denise, isn't it. Alistair asks if everyone knows this, to which Jazzer replies he hasn't done a survey but it doesn't really get openly discussed. Alistair wants to know what that's supposed to mean.

Alice informs Harry that looking at him is like looking in the mirror, and it scares her. He scares her. He protests, but she is firm: it's true, even if he doesn't get it. He has to try, for his own sake. He thinks that she is wrong, or over-reacting, though that's understandable because of what she's been through [and she isn't even Helen! Chris], but he thinks that's influencing how she sees this. She fervently agrees that it is: it's making her want to run a mile! This is the truth, and that's crucial right now. He begs her; she continues to refuse to listen. He exclaims that she knows how he feels about her, and she claims to feel the same. He asks how it would be if he just stops drinking, and she asks how he would do that, then refuses to credit that he could; after all, she had to have help. He points out that he is not her, and she tells him that he is: he is her three years ago, but she has moved on. It was hard, but she did it, and she doesn't want ever to go back there.

When Jazzer asks what is going on right now, Alistair has to answer 'nothing whatever', but when he says he supposes he should talk to Denise, Jazzer gives it as his honest opinion that he shouldn't. It wouldn't be fair to do that to her; if he really cares about her he wouldn't put her in that situation. Even though Alistair knows she is not happy with John, they're not separated. It's reasonably clear that Alistair is not going to get from Jazzer the affirmation that he is seeking. He knows that Alistair wants him to say 'go for it' and that he should tell her what he is feeling, but it doesn't sit right with Jazzer; he thinks it's a lousy start to a relationship. When Alistair continues to try to persuade Jazzer to tell him he would be right to decide to try to break up Denise's marriage, Jazzer says that he feels sorry for John. Alistair claims that he doesn't want to have an affair, just for Denise to leave John and be with him. When Jazzer asks what if she leaves him and then goes back to him Alistair [who is risking nothing at all. Chris] says that is a risk he's prepared to take. Jazzer realises that he has made up his mind.

Harry points out that Alice hasn't opened her present. When she reluctantly does, it's a bottle of the extremely expensive scent that she likes; Harry knew she was running out. Martha's is one of the books in a series she loves. She is sorry, and really sad about their break-up: she thinks he's great and she wishes him well and she wishes things were different. He asks if he can have a hug, which she gives him, but she can't give him a chance to prove himself because it's too big a risk for her. He says that he really doesn't think he has a problem, and she tells him that is the problem, and he had better go. She won't kiss him goodbye. She tells him that in the long run this is better for both of them, because they wouldn't be good for each other. Just as he is about to leave, he asks who told her; she says she can't tell him that, and doesn't, even when he asks if it was Harrison. Harry says Harrison had no right, and if he told Alice that Harry was arrested, Harry (who has suddenly turned nasty) is pretty sure it's a breach of confidentiality, data protection and all that. Alice is shocked and horrified, and asks when he was arrested. Harry says it was nothing, an overreaction on Harrison's part; Alice asks what exactly happened, and Harry says he was just a bit, you know... He was fine. He wasn't violent, he wasn't causing any trouble, he wasn't breaking stuff, he was just having a pretty good night out at least until then. Alice wants to get this straight: so he was arrested for, presumably, being drunk disorderly, and he still thinks he doesn't have a problem? Harry bursts out that anyone can get arrested; it doesn't mean they're an alcoholic! Frostily, Alice says she would like him to leave now, please, and when he tries to argue she tells him that if he doesn't leave within the next thirty seconds, she's going to call the police. She is really not joking: just go, go now, and please, do not come back.

[Harry's speech throughout this episode was punctuated with sniffs, as it was in the pub on 21st February. This may or may not have some significance. Chris.]

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 27th February, 2024

Good intentions will be penalised.

Characters: Kenton, Jolene, Tracy, Jazzer, Fallon, Harrison, Inspector Norris
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The prospect of running the quiz at The Bull has got Kenton excited; he wants to try out some questions on Jolene and Tracy. The first ('how many time zones are there in Russia?' [the answer is eleven. Chris]) is too difficult for them, and the second is one they have used already. He is a bit discouraged by this. Jazzer then turns up wanting a word with Tracy, and she sends him through to the Ploughman's, where she will see him in a minute.

Tracy asks if everything is OK, and Jazzer says it's fine but he just wanted to see her. She doesn't understand why, and wants to know why he is being weird; he asks if there have been any more dodgy characters. He was just a bit worried about anything happening to her; she is touched, though she tells him he is a wally and he is mildly offended. 'A really lovely wally' doesn't sound much better

At the police station, Harrison has come to own up to Inspector Norris, who is busy on a private email. He doesn't know if she can help, because he thinks he has really screwed up and somebody's going to put in a formal complaint about him so he thought he'd better talk to her now. [Annoyingly, we don't hear what he actually tells her. Chris.]

Tracy tells Jolene and Kenton that Jazzer was absolutely fine, and he, Ed and Emma, and Will, are coming to the quiz as a team. Kenton pronounces this 'excellent', and Jolene reckons that it should be a good night. Kenton is excited, which he thinks ridiculous and Tracy thinks lovely, and goes to have a bit of a lie down. As he leaves Tracy says they are a bit low on the bottled ale, and Jolene that it has been ordered and she doesn't know why it's so delayed. Tracy is happy for Kenton ('excited like a little kid') but concerned because Jolene looks tired: it's been a lot for her, the past few weeks. Jolene doesn't want to keep going on about it, and feels as if all she's done since Tracy got back is moan; Tracy tells her to moan all she likes, sometimes it's good for you. She doesn't believe in all this relentless positivity, with people posting how blessed they are on social media; she just thinks 'give me a break!' Jolene agrees with her. Another reason to be cheerful now enters: Fallon has brought over a couple of cakes for quiz night, a coffee and walnut and a red velvet. Jolene has noticed, since dry-not-dreary January, that people are ordering more tea and coffee in the evenings. Fallon asks what time the quiz kicks off (seven forty-five) and then says it seems quiet today; Tracy says it's still early, and Jolene says it's never that busy at this time of day, and when Tracy adds that this is specially true on Tuesdays tells her that's why they do the quiz then. Fallon tells them she and Harrison are coming, though he's had to go in to work on his day off because something came up. She doesn't know when he'll be back, but that's what you get for marrying a copper. Jolene muses that sometimes she thinks she'd prefer being married to a policeman to being a publican, though she does love running the pub. It's a lot of pressure, financially and because of some of the people you get.

Inspector Norris is really glad Harrison came in and told her what he had done, but cannot be all that reassuring about what will happen now. This is not the first time: in the Philip Moss case he broke confidentiality, and although in that instance there were no long-term ill effects and there was no formal procedure, she can't do that again. She will have to refer this for investigation. She's sorry, because he is generally an excellent police officer. This seems to be an area of weakness. Harrison can get legal advice through the Federation, and he will be interviewed by an independent panel. She will support him as best she can, but this is very serious. Has he got any questions? He asks whether he is going to lose his job; she wishes she could say 'no', but she just doesn't know. He thanks her for her time, and says that he hates letting her down and he's really sorry about what happened; she knows.

It's quiz time, and they only have two teams entered; Kenton can't understand it. Jolene thinks that with everything that's happened, people would be a bit more supportive. There are very few people in altogether, and Tracy, Jolene and Kenton speculate about possible reasons for this. In passing, Jolene remarks that Alice's new fellow seems nice; nice looking; not Chris, but nice enough. They decide to give it another fifteen minutes, and Tracy goes out to tell the two teams there will be a delay. When she does, Jazzer asks for a word: he thinks it may be his fault. He might have accidentally put people off coming into the pub. He said to a few people, Neil and that [nonsense; we heard him discussing the matter with Neil yesterday so Neil knew what he actually said and meant. It was Neil's idea! Chris], to spread the word to everybody to be careful, because Jolene was worried about dodgy characters and dogs and everything; what happened on Sunday morning got him worried [why? Nothing happened! Chris] so he said people should look out for trouble. He was trying to help. Tracy, exasperated, asks who needs enemies with friends like him, and sends him out to round up people to come to the quiz, starting with Brad, Chelsea and Mia, and Bert too.

On his return home Harrison is very down, and Fallon is worried about him and asks if he is OK. No, not really; he wasn't called in to work, he went in of his own accord. He didn't want to talk about it before, or rather he couldn't; he just wanted to go and deal with it. He went in to see Norris because he couldn't stand waiting around to find out if Harry was going to make a complaint. He just felt he had to do it. He's really sorry he didn't talk it through with her; Fallon, who has been making supportive noises, says that is OK, but Harrison doesn't know if it is: he doesn't know if he set this whole thing going that could have been avoided, but he wanted to do the right thing, or he wanted to put the wrong thing right, or ... He's in a bit of a state, he supposes. It's really serious; there's going to be an investigation and basically, he could lose his job.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 28th February, 2024

There is repetition, deviation, and hesitation, but what was the topic on the card?

Characters: Jim, Alistair, Jazzer, Tracy, Jolene
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Over the clatter of cutlery Jim speaks of the EV charging station making great progress, and Alistair goes along with his comments about this being a good thing. Alistair, Jim and Denise won the quiz last night, although the poor turn-out makes Alistair feel their win was rather hollow.

Jazzer is still feeling bad about his stupid remark (made at Neil's suggestion, and with Alistair's agreement to the idea) having meant that The Bull had a poor turnout for the quiz; Tracy tells him that he should feel bad. When he asks what he can do about it now, she tells him to put the word out that the pub is perfectly safe. He argues that it's easier to start a rumour than to stop one.

Jim asks Alistair whether things are all right between him and Jazzer, and, by saying that it's up to Alistair if he doesn't want to say anything, gets out of him that while he and Jazzer haven't exactly fallen out, Jazzer was a bit 'judgy' when he confided something delicate and sensitive to him over a pint. Jim doesn't think that sounds like Jazzer, though he can't really advise him if he doesn't know what it's about. [Nobody asked Jim for advice, that I heard. Chris.] Alistair decides to confide that he talked to Jazzer about Denise, and is startled to learn that Jim knows about him and Denise; he denies they are having an affair, to which Jim replies that he never said they were. Alistair then says that he is in love with her, and Jim simply says 'Yes.' Does everybody know this? asks Alistair indignantly; Jim doesn't know, but he doubts it. Well, Jim wasn't surprised, Jazzer wasn't surprised: it's like there was an advert in the paper or something, grumbles Alistair, and it is known all round Ambridge. Jim points out that it is obvious that they are very fond of one another, and they get on very well. [Not to me, it isn't! She shows every sign of despising him, and bullies him. That he has a crush on her, yes, is obvious. Chris.] Alistair is happy she is back at the surgery, and he talks about her non-stop – Alistair denies this last quite heatedly, for him, and, when Jim insists that it's true, says that's terrible because she's married. Jim admits that's an issue, and presumably why Jazzer was a little 'judgy' whereas Alistair was looking for a shoulder to cry on. He just wanted advice, and what Jazzer advised him was to respect the institution of marriage Jim is surprised but delighted by the idea of Jazzer using those actual words. Alistair confides that he thinks her marriage is over, or nearly so, although she hasn't said that to him; she has said that they're not happy. Jim asks pertinently whether he has any idea how she feels about him, and he says rather doubtfully that he thinks she does care about him, and although they are being professional he feels quite paranoid around the other staff [for goodness' sake, how many of those are there? Chris], especially Paul. Jim is unsurprised about that. The whole situation feels unbearable to Alistair, who now has to go to work.

Turning up before opening hours, Jazzer greets Kenton and asks to speak with him. He has an idea to bring people in through the doors: a one-night-only Jazzer special. [We are not told what one of those is. Chris.]

When Jim encounters Tracy and asks how she is, she tells him that she is a bit stressed because her husband is an idiot; well, not exactly because he is mainly wonderful, but he's got himself into a completely ridiculous situation: he's made a mad promise to Jolene and Kenton that he will bring the punters back into The Bull. He feels obliged to fix the problem because he thinks he created it.

Jolene doesn't know why Kenton said yes to Jazzer, and doesn't understand how it's going to work. Kenton says they needed a gimmick and Jazzer came up with one, he will be in the car park not the bar, and although they will all be outside, they'll come in afterwards and warm up with a drink by the fire. Jolene is worried that it could all go wrong: he could injure himself. Kenton dismisses that and says it's too late now, anyway, because it's happening and there are loads of likes and interest on social media; Jolene remains dubious.

Jim has now found Jazzer, who is having a bad time practising: he thought he could come up with something spectacular, but it turns out to be harder than it looks. Jim remarks that people spend months, years even, learning how to do this kind of thing; Jazzer knew that and wasn't expecting to become world champion, but he's a reasonably fit, relatively athletic person and thought if he put his mind to it, but no. It's basically impossible. (Jim murmurs sympathetically.) And he keeps getting messages from people who are planning to be there, because Chelsea's done a brilliant publicity job. Jim feels that if his aim was to get people back to the pub he will have succeeded, but Jazzer bemoans his pride, which Jim does understand and therefore suggests they have a think about that. Jazzer says mournfully that he liked the way it sounded: 'Parcours in the Pub', which Jim agrees is a nice alliteration and then, when challenged as to whether he knows what parcours is, explains for the benefit of the listeners [who until then had thought Jazzer said 'parka' and wondered what he was on about. Chris] that it's a kind of fast-running semi-acrobatic approach to crossing an urban environment, where people fling themselves over walls and things. However, he wants to talk to Jazzer about something else for a moment. It's been bothering him all day: it's about Alistair, who thinks Jazzer doesn't approve of his feelings for Denise; is he right? Jazzer thinks that while she is still married Alistair needs to respect that; he thinks that's important. Jim understands his point of view, but when he saw them together last night it struck him there was something very right about them, to which Jazzer responds that there is something very wrong and all. Jim argues that people do get divorced, and do meet other people and find themselves happier in their new relationship; he uses Tracy as an example. If everyone who was unhappily married stayed that way the world would be a sorry place. [Has he asked Denise if she is unhappily married? No, Watson, he has not. Chris.] He tells Jazzer that Alistair needs their support, and they just need to trust him to do the right thing. Jazzer gives up and tells Jim he is as wise as ever [which is to say, not at all. Chris.].

The pub is crowded, and Jolene has to admit Kenton was right to say Jazzer could do it, though she adds that of course he can't do it; Kenton gloats that the effect is the same as if he could. Jim then makes an announcement: Jazzer has pulled a hamstring and 'Parcours in the Pub' has to be cancelled. Jazzer is as sorry as everyone else and would like to say a few words. Jazzer takes the mic and blethers incoherently about not living in fear and imagining the worst; you must seize the day and dance like nobody's watching. Also, the person in the pub who said life is too short is right. It's important to be happy. He tells Kenton and Jolene that they are fantastic people and everyone is so grateful for everything they do for this community. So next Tuesday there is going to be a quiz and please do come along. That's all he's got to say, so drink, be merry, thank you and goodnight.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 29th February, 2024

Everything is clear in hindsight, and a bird's-eye view is very revealing.

Characters: Alice, Jim, Susan, Neil, Adam
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The bell rings, and Alice comes into the shop. Jim greets her, and as she is choosing something for lunch tells her that her young man came in the other day and they had a little chat: he seems very fond of her. In the face of Alice's complete lack of reaction to this he continues regardless: he felt so pleased for her, because he thinks she deserves some luck. Alice breathes deeply but restrains herself from comment. He then mentions Jazzer's speech last night, and seems surprised that she wasn't down at The Bull to hear it. [She's an alcoholic, Jim; maybe she doesn't want to spend her time at a pub. Chris.] Jim talks of Jazzer having got out of Parcours in the Pub on medical grounds but made a rather lovely speech about how life is short and we all deserve happiness. Alice remains bright in the face of this provocation and merely says she was at home with Martha. Jim asks how Martha is, and Alice says she is the love or her life, and is going to be three next week, which Jim apparently hadn't realised in spite of having been there for the birth.

Susan is looking forward to a treat and the weather is good; she and Neil are drinking a glass of champagne while they wait for their own personal helicopter. She feels like a billionaire's wife, not that she would want to be one because she thinks they must live quite strange lives. She doesn't think she'd be happy. Neil questions whether she would really choose a pig farmer over a billionaire if she had the choice, and she assures him that of course she would; in fact if they weren't married she'd propose to him today. Neil is briefly baffled, so she reminds him it's the twenty-ninth of February, and then goes on to say that when she was little she used to feel sorry for people who only got a birthday every four years. Neil says that it may not be her birthday but the helicopter flight is a birthday present, so Happy Birthday, Mrs. Carter. She expresses herself as being 'so excited'.

The lunch Alice bought was for herself and Adam: just cheese and crackers and some tomatoes. When he asks how she is doing, she decides, after a false start, simply to tell him: she's kind of awful. He asks what's wrong, and she tells him that she and Harry split up. He is distressed for her, asking whether that was because of Harry's mother, but she says no, though that does make more sense now. In the face of his bewilderment she explains further, or rather continues to talk all round it: when Harrison told her she felt sick. Startled, Adam asks what Harrison has to do with Harry.

Now airborne, Susan and Neil pursue a somewhat erratic, zig-zag course over Ambridge, excitedly pointing out landmarks to one another: Berrow Farm, complete with pigs and Jazzer; their own house; Lakey Hill where they have often picnicked; St Stephen's where they got married; it's like looking at their whole lives. [On a map, that's near the middle, far to the east, back near the middle but a bit further north, and then further to the west, in that order. Chris.]

Adam asks whether Harry admitted he had a problem, and Alice tells him no, he was in absolute denial. He was arrested, arrested while he was drunk, and he still doesn't think he has a problem. Adam sees that this must have been a difficult situation for Harrison, and Alice agrees; she feels bad about him, and Fallon. Adam reassures her that it's not her fault, but she feels like she should have known; Adam asks if she ever saw Harry drink, and when she says 'no' asks how she could possibly have guessed that he had a problem. Alice, almost joking, says that apparently Kate knew something was off: she didn't like his aura, in hindsight. Adam asks if she has told Brian, but she is putting it off because he'll be so mad. But if Kate could see it, why couldn't she? Adam suggests that maybe she doesn't believe in auras, and, when Alice hypothesises that they are just a way of saying a vibe or personality, tells her she'd have to ask Kate about that. Alice says there was the business with Harry's mother, too, which as Adam hastens to say was no reason to make her think anything about Harry; now she does, he adds. Alice crossly realises that Harry's mother didn't want him in a relationship with another alcoholic, but as Adam says, she wasn't to know that at the time. She thinks she should have guessed; he thinks she'd have had to be psychic. Alice doesn't really know what to think about it all, but after she told him it was over she just wanted him to leave; she didn't want to get into it. She can't help him, can she. Adam definitely agrees that she can't, and he's not her responsibility: she did absolutely the right thing breaking up with him. Alice asks what else she could have done, and he postulates listening to Harry's promises, which she tells him at once was not going to happen. Adam is really proud of her; and it will be OK. She does know that; it's just left her feeling a bit hopeless. Adam is sure there is someone else out there for her, but Alice doesn't actually want to meet anyone else: that's the last thing she wants. She feels like what happened with Harry has just confirmed that she doesn't deserve for things to be good. She had something good with Chris and she destroyed it. In the shop earlier Jim said she deserved some luck, but she doesn't think she does.

Susan notices Martha's pony, and the river shining like molten silver, which is something you can't see from the ground. Neil points out the mess where they are building the charging station, and then spots something worse: they are taking the big oak tree down. Susan protests that Justin never said they were doing that, and the incensed Neil agrees that no, he never did.

Alice is back at the shop but can't remember what she went there for, though she does remember about candles for Martha's birthday cake, which is not what she came in for. Jim recalls seeing her with Chris last week, and she called out, 'Hello, Jim! Nice hat,' which tickled him; he was wearing a bobble hat which Alistair doesn't like. He went home and told Alistair. Alice thinks that's lovely, and Jim tells her it's a roundabout way of saying that she's doing a wonderful job of raising that child, who is an absolute delight. Alice becomes a little tearful, and Jim asks anxiously if she is all right, has he said the wrong thing? She assures him he has said the absolute right thing, and thanks him.

Neil can't believe it, he just can't: one of the oldest trees in Ambridge! Susan agrees with him that it's awful. And what if this is just the beginning? What if they're taking down more trees? Susan is sure there is no need for that, but Neil wants to know where the need was for that beautiful oak to get the chop. Then he apologises for spoiling Susan's treat, and says they should go for tea and forget about the tree for now, but she asks if he can do that: doesn't he want to call Justin? He says he'll leave that until tomorrow and not ruin Susan's day, but she thinks he should just call him and find out what's going on. Neil would like to know if they're planning to cut down any more, and Susan encourages him to call Justin; then they'll go for tea. He thanks her, and she wants to know what for: he tells her it's for understanding, and for caring as much as he does.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 1st March, 2024

A tale of two confrontations, one inconclusive and the other damaging.

Characters: Jim, Susan, Fallon, Alice, Justin, Inspector Norris, Harrison
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Jim has come into the shop to buy some wine-gums, for which he has got a craving; Susan says there is no point denying himself, and [in a truly magnificent non-sequitur. Chris] that it is a Friday after all. He asks how her helicopter ride went. She tells him that it was a bit marred, and then about watching, powerless to prevent it, as the oak at the charging station was felled. Jim can't believe it, because that was not referenced in the plans, and finds it appalling. Susan says she and Neil were heartbroken, and it put quite a dampener on the helicopter ride. Jim wants to know what CellCharge say about it, but Susan tells him Neil couldn't get a response from anyone there yesterday, and he couldn't get hold of Justin either.

Taking her courage in both hands, Alice has gone to the tea-room to buy a coffee. There is some awkwardness when she meets Fallon, and both of them are apologetic about the events of the last few days, with Alice wondering if it is all right for her to be there. Fallon reassures her, and, when she starts explaining how she was able to be there, tells her there's no need to justify why she wanted a cup of coffee. Alice is her friend, of course Fallon wanted to see her. It's not her fault, what happened with Harry, and Fallon should have messaged her. Alice says firmly that it's over, with Harry she means: she finished it.

On the phone and sounding a bit breathless, Jim offers to try to get in touch with Justin, but Neil has evidently managed that for himself and arranged to meet him at the charging station site in about half an hour; Jim invites himself to join them, and Susan wonders grimly what Justin will have to say for himself. Sometimes, Jim remarks, he is amazed at the gall of that man, though he should have learned by now. In his agitation he almost forgets to take his wine-gums.

Fallon has brought Alice a flat white and a slice of chocolate cake, and tells her she is sorry it didn't work out for her with Harry. Alice feels that it is really good that she knows now, to which Fallon agrees; anyhow, she just wanted to say thank-you to Fallon, well, to them both, for telling her. Fallon felt she could have handled it better, though Alice doesn't see how: it was a pretty impossible situation. Alice then asks how Harrison is doing: Harry hasn't made a complaint, has he? Fallon assures her that he hasn't, but then tells her that Harrison has reported himself and is now under investigation. Alice is aghast, and Fallon tells her that Harrison just didn't know what else to do. Alice is so, so sorry, and wants to know what she can do to make this better.

What remains of the tree is a heart-breaking sight, according to Jim; he can't think why they did it, and Neil is hoping Justin can explain. Jim exclaims that it must have been one of the oldest trees in the area, and Neil agrees with a sigh that he thinks it was. Jim can't believe he didn't know, and Neil apologises for not having called him yesterday; Jim excuses him on the grounds that he had other things to do, and Neil mentions having tea at Lower Loxley, which Jim thinks sounds lovely; Neil responds that it would have been lovelier if they hadn't just seen this tree being cut down. Jim can't understand why it wasn't on the plans, and Neil suspects 'they' may have found a loophole. As Justin comes into view Neil crossly grumbles that he'd better have a blooming good explanation. Justin greets them urbanely as 'gentlemen' and remarks that they are looking a bit... 'Funereal?' suggests Jim, while Neil offers 'Grim-faced?' Well, yes.

Alice has somehow persuaded Fallon to get Emma to cover for her at the tea-room, and go with her to consult with Harrison; Fallon is now wondering if this is such a great idea. Alice really thinks that if she talks to Harrison's boss it could make a difference, and Fallon clearly doubts this. Alice agrees that if Harrison thinks it's a bad idea than she just won't do it; Fallon is worried he'll think it's a bit weird that they're waiting for him in the car-park. He hasn't read her message of explanation, so they are sitting there waiting for him and he doesn't even know it. Fallon then sees Harrison's boss and foolishly points her out to Alice, who at once decides to forget about consulting with Harrison and, since his boss seems to be leaving, instead to go after her and talk to her before she goes away for the weekend. Fallon tries, and fails, to stop her.

Alice approaches Inspector Norris and asks to speak to her, explaining that she is a friend of Sergeant Burns and she is the person he was trying to protect when he told her about the guy she was seeing. Norris asks her politely what she is doing there, and Alice gushes about how great Harrison is and how he was trying to stop her and her daughter from getting in Harry's car in case he had been drinking. Norris now tries forbiddingly to prevent her from saying any more: she can't discuss any of this with her. Unquenched, Alice says she gets that, then carries on explaining how it happened from her point of view, and makes things far worse by mentioning that Fallon, Harrison's wife, had also tried to warn her – thus making it clear that as well as telling Alice, he's also discussed confidential matters with his wife. Harrison comes out and asks what Alice is doing there.

Their conversation with Justin offers the two men no comfort whatever: he tells them there was no preservation order on that particular tree and CellCharge had to take it down to create the entrance. He's sorry (though Jim says, rightly, that he doesn't sound it), but CellCharge has done absolutely nothing wrong, and nor has he. Jim remarks that is only if what he says is true, and when Justin says he's not going to lie about it to them, is he, Jim says that he doesn't know. Justin says it is just one tree; Neil asks how they are to know there won't be more and is told they can because Justin is telling them so. Look, what if CellCharge were to plant a whole host of new oak trees in addition to those they are already planting? Neither Neil nor Jim thinks that likely, even when Justin says they would do it if he leant on them, but both say it would be good, and Justin explains that he has promised Lilian that he would try not to put business first. [Another splendid irrelevance. Chris.]

Harrison's furious boss tears him off a strip, telling him that he knows how serious this is, and it doesn't matter what she thinks: she now has to refer this new information to the investigation. She has no choice in the matter. He stammers and tries to explain himself, say he is sorry and tell her he is very embarrassed, but she cuts through this: she will do her best for him, but she has no idea how this is going to pan out. She will see him on Monday. She goes and gets in her car, and Alice at once comes over and asks what she said. He tells her that basically he could be in even more trouble than before: what were the two of them thinking? Alice says that Fallon wanted to wait, and Harrison asks through gritted teeth why they didn't; she has made things so much worse. She says she is so, so sorry, and Fallon tries to speak to him, but he tells her he doesn't want to have this conversation there with either of them; he has to go back to work for another four hours, so let's just leave it. Fallon agrees, and as Alice tries to start talking again tells her sharply just shush. She says she'll see Harrison at home, and he goes back in. Alice starts to say that she just thought that, thought... and Fallon, totally fed up with her, says that she didn't; she didn't think in that moment. Alice protests that it seemed like they were going to miss a chance, and Fallon retorts 'miss a chance to ruin his career!' Alice begs her not to say that, and Fallon tells her to listen: Alice knows how much Fallon cares about her, and how proud she is that Alice has stayed sober, and she coped so brilliantly with her divorce, and she's a lovely, lovely mum to Martha, but Fallon can't keep getting involved in her drama. She doesn't know if Harrison is going to forgive her for this. Alice mumbles abashedly that Fallon didn't do anything; Fallon bitterly points out that she didn't stop her, and when Alice says that Fallon did try she ignores that and goes on to say that Harrison is the best thing that ever happened to her and she adores him, and from now on (she says, ignoring Alice's attempt to say what she thinks) she needs to prioritise him, not Alice. As Alice tries again to interrupt her, Fallon says she's sorry, but Alice needs to leave them alone for now. [Which is effin' hilarious seeing that they nebbed uninvited into Alice's affairs; serve them both right. Gus.]

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 3rd March, 2024

Alice and Alistair make bad decisions, and Brian is swapped for a different person.

Characters: Brian, Alice, Harry, Jim, Alistair, Jazzer
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Mel Ward
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Brian has come to visit Alice and is relieved to find her looking well. He really could kill Harry! Alice wearily says Harry has his own demons, but Brian feels that's no excuse for him. In a stream of cliché (mostly from Brian) they discuss what is happening, with Brian being very anti-Harry about his arrest and Alice making excuses about his behaviour. Brian seems really to have come to ask whether Alice had ever been in any danger of drinking with Harry, and Alice is firm in denying the possibility, which is a relief to him. He is surprised to hear that Alice never saw Harry with a drink; he thinks this very strange. He is still trying to reconcile himself to having been completely wrong when he thought Harry a straightforward, decent sort of chap; Alice mentions that Kate didn't like his aura, with which Brian agrees, and that Kate will enjoy being right, which he disputes. Alice speculates that Harry's aura might be off because of his drinking; Brian implores her not to start believing in auras: he can just about cope with one daughter who is all woo-woo, but two might push him over the edge. Alice laughs and says she thinks he'll be safe with her, and Brian tells her, apparently seriously, that he has always felt safe with her. She assures him that he still can: everything with Harry has just made her more determined than ever to stay on track. She does miss him though; it was nice, he was nice. Brian airily remarks there are plenty more fish in the sea, as they say, but Alice is not so sure: she's a single mum and it's not easy to meet people. She doesn't want to spend the rest of her life alone; Brian assures her there is no chance of that. She laughs at him for being so supportive, and he thanks the lord for Fallon and Harrison, without whom she would still be ignorant and with Harry. She now tells him that Harrison is in trouble because he broke professional confidentiality to tell her about Harry, which upsets Brian considerably. Alice adds that she made it worse by trying to talk to Harrison's boss at the police station, which backfired, and Fallon said she needed some space from her. And then they had to drive back from the police station together, which was very awkward: Fallon sat there in total silence, and cried, which Brian thinks sounds horrendous. Brian is not convinced Harrison could lose his job over it, though Alice is. The doorbell rings, and Alice goes to answer it while Brian puts the kettle on. To her surprise Harry is at the door with a bunch of flowers. She accepts them, and he asks to come in and talk to her, though she tells him that it's really not a good time.

Without asking Alistair in advance, for which he apologises, Jim has invited Jazzer over for Sunday lunch and a board-game or two. Alistair sees no objection and in fact is pleased with the idea. When asked, he says he is also happy to do the roast potatoes.

As Harry walks into Alice's main room, Brian's response to his presence is, 'Well, look what the cat dragged in,' and he tells Harry he has a hell of a nerve turning up and thinking a bunch of flowers will fix it. He sees no reason for Harry to be there, and definitely no reason to be particularly civil to him. Alice tries to calm him down, and Harry offers to go; she wants to know what he wanted to say, and doesn't want him to come back another time, so he has to resign himself to talking to her with Brian there. Brian has a couple of things he'd like to say while Harry is there: how dare he take such a selfish risk with someone else's sobriety? He tries to defend himself by saying that he honestly didn't think of it like that, which gives Brian an opening to tell him that he doesn't think Harry thought at all. Brian asks if Harry had any idea how much Alice suffered, and Alice reminds him that she is right there. Brian knows that she is there but feels someone has to say it; Harry bravely tells him that Alice told him about her difficult time, which doesn't placate Brian, who tells him that now one of Alice's best friends is faced with possibility of losing his job because he was honest with her about Harry. This shakes Harry, and makes Alice say she isn't sure he ought to be the one telling Harry that; Brian doesn't see why not, since he feels Harry has got to find out. [Why? What need is there for him to do so? It is literally none of his business. Chris.] No doubt the police will want to interview him. [About what? He is irrelevant to the internal enquiry they are holding. Chris.] Alice confirms this: probably, yes. So now, continues Brian, Harrison and Fallon are facing terrible difficulties because of Harry's selfish lack of honesty and awareness. Harry protests that he never actually intended to make a complaint; he was just trying to stop Harrison coming to 'you' (unspecified, presumably Alice). Brian wants to know how self-serving you can get. Alice suggests Harry should just say whatever it is he came to say; he complies. The first thing is, he would never have put her or her recovery at risk in any way. To his surprise, Alice does actually believe that. He tells her that he is now trying to get help and is considering various options, which Brian clearly doesn't believe for a moment. Alice demands that he must let Harry speak, and Harry goes on: he would do anything to make it right, and he is really, really sorry about everything, especially the trouble about Harrison. Brian breaks in again to ask if he is genuinely sorry, or just sorry he lost Alice; Harry asks whether he can't be sorry about both. Alice tells him that's good, and he says that was it really and he will go now. Brian encourages him to do that thing, and he makes his farewells to Alice and does so. Before he has even shut the door Brian bursts out with 'The nerve of that man!' Alice says she feels a bit sorry for Harry, and Brian begs her to tell him that she's not thinking of getting back with him: he is trouble, and she should remember that. [Brian was in fact written as if he were Tony, for this entire scene. Chris.]

Over a game of Scrabble, which Alistair is losing, the three men chat about this and that, until Alistair takes the opportunity to tell Jim and Jazzer that he has made a decision about Denise: he is going to talk to Lovell James about a transfer. He will leave the practice. Jazzer wants to know why, and Jim pronounces this action 'drastic', but Alistair says he doesn't know what else to do.

Alice rings Harry to apologise for Brian, and to ask him a favour: she understands that he will be asked to attend Harrison's hearing in a few weeks [where does this come from? Harrison hasn't told her, because he and Fallon are not talking to her, and nobody else would know even if it were likely or true. Chris] and give his side. It would make such a difference if Harry could say something in Harrison's defence. Harry is very reluctant and can't think what he would say [and nor can anyone else! Chris], and when Alice says just that he doesn't want to pursue a complaint, reiterates that he never meant to anyway and had no idea it would cause Harrison to go and confess. Alice asserts that is what Harrison is like, decent,and Harry rather bitterly says 'unlike me'. Alice denies that: she does think he is decent and that's why she was hoping he would speak up and support Harrison. He wants to think about it because it's terrifying the think about talking about his situation in front of tons of people he doesn't know. It just makes it real somehow. Alice points out that it is real, and he tells her that he knows that now, he really does.

Jazzer thinks Alistair is insane, and Jim is inclined to agree with him, asking why Alistair would leave everything he's worked so hard to build up at the practice. He denies he is martyring himself, when Jazzer suggests it, and when Jazzer inquires what he is doing then, says that he is trying to do the right thing. Jazzer said in his speech that he trusted Alistair to do the right thing! Jazzer says he was wrong to trust him, because this is definitely not the right thing, and Jim agrees, but when Alistair asks what he's supposed to do then, neither man has any suggestion to offer. Alistair tells them they are a fat lot of help.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 4th March, 2024

Denise knows what she wants, while Harrison doesn't seem so sure.

Characters: Denise, Jim, Fallon, Harrison, Alistair
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Mel Ward
Editor: Jeremy Howe

To the usual loud tinkling from the bell on the door, Denise comes into the shop to buy some biscuits for the staff-meeting at work. While she is there she asks if Jim knows why Alistair seems so gloomy at the moment, and Jim, having mentioned that he probably shouldn't be saying this, tells her that Alistair told him that he is planning to leave the practice. She asks why, but Jim doesn't seem to be prepared to go his rope and tell her that, merely saying that is what he and Jazzer asked too.

When Fallon asks him at breakfast how he is, Harrison claims to be feeling OK but is clearly nervous, though he will probably be only half an hour or so. Fallon wonders why he has to go in rather than them telling him over the phone: he's either suspended or he's not. He points out that it's a formal investigation and this is how it's done; he's not in a position to argue with them. She is not in a rush to go in to work to cater for a corporate afternoon tea, something she never used to go in for. Harrison, yawning, says he had better go and face the music; he didn't get any sleep last night.

Alistair greets Denise cheerfully and (after asking and being told that Paul is back at work tomorrow) gets the frosty treatment and accusation: Denise has just been to the shop and had a nice chat with Jim; she doesn't know why she bothered to get nice biscuits when she should have got rich tea, or fig rolls, or arrowroot, which are supposed to stem nausea. Alistair is somewhat confused by this and asks what is going on; she comes out with her gripe, which is that Jim told her Alistair is leaving. Alistair is angry: he had absolutely no right to tell her that. She demands to know whether it is true or not, and Alistair says he doesn't know but is thinking about it. She asks why, incredulously, and he blurts out, 'Because I'm in love with you, OK?' As she says 'er?' in a hesitant way he adds, 'And I was really, really trying not to tell you that.' She seems at a loss for words, but when he apologises tells him it's OK, and then that it's nice. He tells her that he can't carry on like this, and so he thought he'd just leave. She remarks that seems a bit extreme, and asks why he didn't just talk to her, but he thought that wasn't fair, to put her in that position. After a few more bemused and inconclusive exchanges he suggests they could go for a walk at lunch-time to get away from the surgery, and she agrees.

Harrison gets back and finds Fallon still at home: she has phoned in sick and is catching up on her paperwork. He asks anxiously whether she is poorly, but no: there is just only so much cowhide talk she can take, and she didn't want him to be on his own all day. He says he is fine, which she doubts, and that they were very fair and very reasonable. He hasn't been suspended, which Fallon thinks is really great news, and he agrees: that would have gone on his record. Well, it all will anyway, but no-one wants a suspension. She asks what happens now, and he tells her he's on desk duties until the investigation is resolved. Plus they are giving him a bit of time off this week, sort of unofficial leave. Fallon asks if that's good, but he doesn't know. In a way he'd prefer to be at work but they didn't give him a choice. The other thing is that they will be calling Harry in for the disciplinary, and she's not going to like this but they're going to want to interview her, and Alice too. [At least those two have some relevant information to give; Harry, not so much. Chris.] Not at the hearing itself, he reassures her; before; it'll just be a written statement. She won't be under caution or anything. Harrison asserts that Harry is the one who could make all the difference. He then tells Fallon again that she really didn't have to stay at home, and she tells him she wanted to, and now she gets sick pay they're not even losing money. His worries about how Tom and Natasha are going to do without her make her laugh at him, but she hasn't had a day of paid sick-leave in her life and wants to have this one day bunking off without Harrison making her feel bad. She thought they could have a nice day: curl up in front of the fire and watch a film, shut the world out and forget anyone else exists. He agrees to that, and thanks her for doing this.

Denise asks Alistair how long he has felt like this, and he doesn't know: it's been creeping up on him for a while. The time they nearly kissed at Christmas may have cemented it – but recently he's started to feel a kind of despair, because she's not available and he's not sure she ever will be. She tells him she's sorry she's made him so unhappy he actually wants to leave, and he explains he doesn't know what else to do. She responds that she and John should have split up years ago, and when he asks why they didn't, doesn't really know: they had the kids to think about, and then there's just the sheer upheaval of separating, selling the house and where do you go and what can you afford and ... they just don't talk. They know it's not working, but they don't go there: they circle around it like it's this giant crater in the middle of the kitchen or something. Him being in St Lucia with his mother has been so great because she had the house to herself, and she feels terrible about that. She has been happy for the first time in years, and then Jim said Alistair would be leaving and it was a nasty shock. She was trying to kid herself she and Alistair could be at work together all day without being properly together; Alistair understands. They agree that they don't want to have an affair, and while she knows she wants to leave John she can't do it while he is away looking after his mother. The upshot of all this is that since she still feels a bit robbed of that Christmas kiss, she talks Alistair, who would be prepared to wait, into a kiss.

The film Harrison and Fallon watched has been a failure, and Harrison fancies going for a run. They have both been thinking about Alice: Fallon is afraid this whole thing will send her back to square one. She is regretting telling her to back off. Harrison doesn't feel so sorry for Alice: because of her, he will either be on a final warning or he will lose his job.

Full of the joys of Spring, Alistair come home and greets his father. Jim confesses to having 'accidentally' told Denise that Alistair was thinking of leaving the practice; Alistair doesn't think it sounded like much of an accident. He's not angry, though: he is really glad Jim said it. They finally had the Conversation, and it went well. He is definitely not leaving the practice now.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 5th March, 2024

Harry is in the doghouse with Fallon, and Alistair is in the storecupboard with Denise.

Characters: Emma, Fallon, Harry, Alistair, Denise, Paul
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Mel Ward
Editor: Jeremy Howe

After her day off Fallon goes back to work and walks into an inquisition from Emma about whether she was actually ill or just evading the corporate high tea. She insists she had a stomach bug [in which case she and Emma would both know she ought not to go back to work in catering for at least three days after her last bout of D or V. Chris] and Emma eventually believes her. Emma informs her that the corporate event went well and Tom was very pleased about it. She thinks they will end up doing more of that stuff, which really, really pays, not that either of them will see any of that money; Fallon muses that she never thought of doing corporate events when she was running the tea-room. Harry comes in wanting a coffee to drink in, and also a chocolate and almond croissant, which comes to six pounds seventy. Fallon reluctantly tells him to sit down and she will bring them over. After he is out of earshot Emma asks if that is Alice's feller, and Fallon says he is. When Emma says he seems nice Fallon replies that she thought that too; appearances can be deceiving though, can't they.

Alistair and Denise have been snogging in the medical supply cupboard, though both insist they don't want to have an affair. Denise just took him in there because she wants to talk to Alistair about Paul, who is in a bit of a state about his gran, and she doesn't want him to get any sort of vibe from them so they need to be careful. [And maybe not snog in cupboards? Chris.] Alistair reminds her that nothing is going to happen between them until she has talked to John, and she points out that since they agreed that they haven't stopped kissing. She is about to leave the cupboard, with Alistair following after a pause, but Paul forestalls them by coming in to fetch a medication. They stammer like a pair of guilty schoolchildren, and Paul tells them they'd better not have messed up his system.

Fallon takes Harry his coffee and croissant and tells him that she hopes he chokes on them. He clearly doesn't believe his ears and asks what she said, and she tells him that he heard her, to which he replies that he knows she probably hates him, which gets an uncompromising 'Yeah' from her. His attempts to soft-soap her are a complete frost: he says he came in to apologise and she tells him it's a bit late for that; he tells her Alice told him what happened to Harrison and he feels awful, to which she replies good, he should; he tells her that he wouldn't have put in a complaint and Harrison didn't need to go and confess, and she says sarcastically that that's just brilliant. She clearly has no faith in the idea that he will speak up for Harrison at his hearing, especially since Harry doesn't seem to have any real idea what he will say. He tells her that he went to see Alice but Brian was there and yelled at him for a bit, which delights Fallon, who calls it excellent. He says that he really cares about Alice, to which Fallon pointedly says that if he does, he should leave her alone. For some reason he quite fails to take in her hostility, and asks her advice about whether he could get Alice back if she could see he was getting help and trying to turn things around, which gets an instant 'I hope not' from Fallon. She explains that she isn't saying this because she is furious with him, though she is, but because she questions how he could possibly be good for Alice. When he starts to protest that he could be if if if, she tells him they need to stop this conversation, one because it is hopeless trying to communicate with him, and two because it's not even vaguely appropriate, since his issues with drink have directly resulted in her husband potentially losing his job. And she needs to get back to work. He tells her that he definitely will say something positive at the hearing, and when she seems unsure about this says that if he says he will he will: doesn't she trust him? The answer of course is 'no'; she asks him to eat his croissant and drink his coffee, and get out.

After flying into the country at two in the morning and electing to come in to work on the same day, Paul announces, as if it were unexpected, that he is tired. Unsympathetic Denise tells him he didn't have to come in; he could have left it until tomorrow. She has made him some coffee to help keep him awake, even so. He tells her that he wishes she had come with him and Dad, and when she expresses surprise tells her that they needed her. They could have asked, and the practice could have got temps in. Paul muses that it was amazing to see Gran, but she is so much older, and she looks frail, a shadow; he thinks it hit Dad like a ton of bricks that she isn't going to live forever and he's spent all these years away from her. Denise says that he hasn't said so, but then, he doesn't talk: Paul knows what he's like. Paul then suggests that she ought to go out there: Alistair would totally get it, and she is such good mates. Denise doesn't think she can right now, though Paul argues that it is now that Dad needs her: he is losing his mum. Paul is losing her too and doesn't think he's going to see her again: saying goodbye was horrendous. And John doesn't know what to do: should he stay out there until she dies, or come back knowing he's got to say goodbye to her and won't see her again? [Paul is going to feel a bit silly if Gran fails to die of her broken wrist, isn't he. Chris.] If it were Denise, Paul would be a wreck; John is a wreck and he's on his own. Paul thinks it's really hard for him. Denise says she will call him tonight and they will have a proper, honest conversation, because he obviously hasn't been that straight with her: he hasn't told her any of this. [Ah, manufacturing a grievance to feel better about her infidelity. Textbook stuff. Gus.]

Emma reports back to Fallon that Harry said to say how much he enjoyed the croissant, and asks if everything is OK, since the two of them looked as if they were having 'quite an intense conversation'. She wants to know if he has done something to Alice, and, since Fallon is sure it will get around eventually, she tells Emma they have split up. Emma's immediate reaction is not 'why?' but 'when?', because she didn't know; she then asks if Chris knows. Fallon has no idea: maybe not. Emma then asks who finished it, and Fallon tells her that Alice did. However, when Emma asks why, Fallon finally draws the line and says she can't talk about it because it is their business, and sticks to this in spite of all Emma's efforts to find out what happened; Fallon to tell her she doesn't feel right talking about Harry to her, because she was never that keen on Alice; Emma initially agrees without thought, then disputes it and says Alice is better now, but eventually agrees to stop speculating, and also says she won't say anything to Chris if Fallon doesn't want her to. She will give Alice a chance to tell him first; they're getting on really well right now so she doesn't want to stir things. Fallon thanks her, and Emma tries for the last word: as long as Alice does all right by Chris and Martha, then she has no issues with her. Fallon tops this by saying that hopefully people will do as they promised; it will cause less heartache all round.

Denise comes knocking on Alistair's door to tell him that his last appointment of the day has just cancelled, and stays to chat. Alistair has been wondering if he could take her out to dinner, in Felpersham or even in Birmingham, to get out from Ambridge – it would be just as colleagues, as friends. Denise points out that they are not just that, are they, but after a little persuasion agrees that she would love to. Alistair suggests this Friday if she is free, and she is. Alistair then points out that it doesn't have to look bad even if they run into anyone they know; Denise agrees, but adds that if they get caught in the stock-cupboard again it will look bad. Alistair doesn't think Paul suspected anything, and Denise doesn't either: he definitely didn't and he wouldn't anyway, but still. Alistair says thoughtfully that Paul was so sad today: he told him he found it really hard to say goodbye. Denise informs Alistair that Paul really looks up to him, respects him professionally and just thinks he's a great person; Alistair is finds this lovely, but Denise adds that she thinks he'd be really freaked out if he knew she and Alistair were, she means, not that they actually are but... If he'd seen them in the stock cupboard? suggests Alistair. But he didn't, Denise says hastily,as one denying an unpleasant possibility. They agree they won't do that again, and that it will be OK. And they will go out to dinner on Friday.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 6th March, 2024

Jakob doesn't help Alistair make a wrong choice, while Jim makes several for Martha.

Characters: Jakob, Denise, Paul, Alice, Jim, Alistair, Brian
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Mel Ward
Editor: Jeremy Howe

As Denise arrives at work, Jakob is getting dressed up for the vile weather preparatory to going out; he hates the rain, but he hates admin even more so he isn't going to wish he was staying in and doing that. Having got this admission out of him, Denise tells him that he is living his best life, and he laughs. Paul then breezes in saying 'morning all' before starting to discuss his family's business with his mother. Did she ring Dad last night? How was he? Not great, she tells him, before Jakob interrupts to tell them both something important which is actually about work: he's had an email from Doug Lovell saying he wants to come to see them all at lunch-time tomorrow. Paul asks why in an accusing voice, and is told he probably just wants to see how having two nurses is working, about which he condescends not to blame Jakob, while Denise says she is glad it's Doug and not Don: Doug is just lovely whereas Don's got an edge. Jakob prepares to depart, asking them to tell Alistair he's probably not back until lunch-time. As soon as he's gone Paul goes back to questioning his mother: does Dad know what he is going to do? No; he doesn't know when he's coming back. But he properly talked to her, and he cried. This startles Paul, who says that is amazing, for Dad.

The bell of the shop heralds Alice's advent; she greets Jim and says she just needs some milk. Since he is there, she asks him if he would like to come to Martha's birthday tea, which seems to be for adults rather than for other three-year-olds: Jim and Jazzer are invited because they were in at the birth. Jim apologises for not yet being fully awake, and says he feels tempted to go back to bed with a book when Joy comes in to take over. This reminds Alice that she has to make Martha a costume for school to celebrate World Book Day tomorrow: Jim offers to help by going through left-over costumes from Ambridge pantos to see if there is anything that would adapt. Alice thinks he is too nice, and thanks him very much. He offers to drop in to The Stables at the end of the day with anything he thinks might be useful.

Alistair sneaks up on Denise, who is making coffee, to ask her in a whisper where they should go to dinner on Friday. He starts to suggest places, but she breaks it to him that she can't go out to dinner; he asks anxiously if he has done something wrong, but before she can answer Paul interrupts to tell Denise that he got a message from Dad saying how much she cheered him up last night. Paul wants to know exactly what she said [the nickname Paul Pry was coined for this gink. Chris], but she just says she doesn't know, and it was mainly Dad doing the talking. Paul says that's brilliant, isn't it, and she agrees; he kindly tells her that he just wanted to say she did a good thing. He then takes himself off again, leaving Alistair to draw the correct conclusion: she spoke to John, and now they're not going out to dinner. Denise tells him that John cried – which shakes Alistair – and that is a radical thing because he never cries: the man takes stoic to a new level. Alistair asks if he was crying about his mum, but she says he was crying about everything, telling her he doesn't want to waste any more years and asking if they can try again. She thinks he is having some kind of crisis. Alistair wants to know what that means for Them.

Jim has come up with some costumes and some thoughts, all inappropriate: Ophelia, whom Alice points out drowned herself; Anna Karenina (threw herself in front of a train, interpolates Alice); and his last suggestion, Tess of the d'Urbervilles, which he now realises isn't much better. He apologises and says he is a fat lot of help; Alice asks about a lot of crinkly green material, which he explains he just grabbed because it looked interesting and fun: perhaps it might make a caterpillar. Alice runs with this idea: Martha has loads of toy food which they could string together, and she could go as the Hungry Caterpillar. Brian comes in unheralded and asks what on earth Alice is doing, and to Jim's explanation, that she is being a caterpillar, he says 'of course you are' in an indulgent tone. Alice asks what he is doing there, and he tells her that he is coming to see her.

Alistair has sought out Jakob to tell him he is thinking about leaving the practice. Jakob thinks this seems crazy rather than sudden, but sees through all the flannel Alistair has prepared and gets straight to the point: Alistair is lying. What's the real reason? Alistair admits it is because of how he feels about Denise, which Jakob already knows. He tells Jakob it's not a crush, as Jakob characterises it, but that he loves her, and they talked properly for the first time on Monday and discussed a future, but now, with everything, she can't leave John; Alistair understands that but he can't go on working with her; he just cannot face seeing her every day. Jakob manages to persuade him not to talk about this to Doug Lovell tomorrow, by telling him how bad that would make the rest of them look.

Brian claims not to have come to check up on Alice; he's just checking up on her. He is not apologetic about having scared Harry; he meant to, and it's nice to have it confirmed. He asks about Martha's tea-party; Alice is all set, and it will be just Brian, Susan and Neil and Chris, Jim, Jazzer and a couple of other friends. He realises he ought to let her get home, but before he goes he just wants to say that he is very proud of her, and her mother would have been very proud too. They agree that they miss Jennifer, and Alice reminds Brian that it is Mother's Day on Sunday. Just before he actually goes Alice tells him that she rang Harry, and he has agreed to put in a good word for Harrison at the hearing. Brian asks if she believes him, and she says yes, and he seemed really genuine. Brian heaves a sigh; he's sorry and this is going to sound harsh, but she of all people knows that addicts aren't always reliable. What if he changes his mind or turns up drunk? Alice feels she is just going to have to believe that he won't. Someone's got to.

Alistair is still havering, but tells his father that he and Denise are not going to be an item after all because she has decided she wants to work on her marriage. Jim is disappointed.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 7th March, 2024

Paul goes too far, Jakob loses patience and Harrison is bored.

Characters: Alistair, Jakob, Paul, Emma, Fallon, Denise
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Mel Ward
Editor: Jeremy Howe

At the vets' surgery they are waiting for Doug Lovell, and Alistair tells Jakob that he has made up his mind to leave; Jakob rather despairingly says that when he asked Alistair to take some time to think it over he meant more than twenty-four hours. Alistair says he can't, because Denise now knows how he feels, and when Jakob says that if Jakob knew, he's sure Denise always did as well, Alistair says that they've said it out loud and now he knows that she cares for him too and it's not one way, he can't go back to pretending. When he explains that she has now said she's not going to leave John, Jakob does understand that's a lot, as Kate would say. He still doesn't like it and argues that Alistair shouldn't do it: give up all they have built up, and their partnership, which means a great deal to Jakob! He implores Alistair not to talk to Doug today. Surprisingly, Paul now knocks instead of barging in on them, to announce that not Doug Lovell but Don James is there, forty minutes early and apparently in a really lousy mood.

It's been a busy lunchtime at the tea-room, but at half past three the rush has finally slacked off, so Fallon and Emma have a bit of time to talk together before they clear the tables. Ed and Emma still aren't sure whether to accept the loan from Will, which Fallon feels they should just do. Emma says she thinks they should, but she and Ed aren't quite on the same page, though they are both sick of having no financial security: at least Harrison's job is secure, and professional. She waxes lyrical about Harrison and his job, even unto his pension prospects, and Fallon is insufficiently circumspect in her reply to this, and Emma asks her what is wrong. The whole story of his job being on the line, though not the actual reason for this, then comes out, and Emma is fully of sympathy. Fallon doesn't know whether it will be OK in the end, as Emma optimistically assures her it will be, so she is thinking about taking on more outside catering. Now the tea-room belongs to Tom, she is thinking she ought to invest in something else. Emma feels the same about the tree-surgery.

After Don has left, the members of the veterinary practice are gathered together in a state of shock about how they have been raked over the coals. Jakob and Denise are agreed that it could have been worse, though Alistair feels it could have gone better. Paul feels bruised by Don having had a list of about fifty things they had wrong, and, when Jakob points out that Doug would have had the same list, suggests that at least Doug would have been less abrasive. That he told Jakob they were doing a reasonable job is not acceptable to Paul: he should have said that to the entire staff, doesn't he understand anything about morale? He's worse than Jakob, even. Alistair hastily says that he thinks it's a brilliant practice and they have a lot to be proud of, so Paul shouldn't take Don's comments to heart: as Jakob says, a lot of it made sense and if Doug had come to see them, instead of Don, he'd probably have said all the same things but they'd have come away full of how brilliant they are. Paul says simply that he would have preferred that, and Alistair agrees that he would have too, but they just have to take the useful stuff on and ignore the rest. Denise suggests that they should crack on, but before they do, Alistair has an announcement to make and it will come as a bit of a shock to her and Paul. He is planning to leave the practice. 'Sorry, what?' asks Denise shrilly.

Harrison has come to the tea-room for a coffee because he feels a little lost; he orders coffee and croissant [that's six pounds seventy he has spent on a luxury when they are trying to save money. Chris] which Fallon will bring over. He greets Emma as 'Ems', and asks her if she would be able to find out whether Tracy wants to give up being cricket captain, since he has been told she's been complaining about it being too much. He was thinking he might offer to take over, but he doesn't want to offend her. Emma has no idea, but will try to find out without telling her that it was Harrison who wanted to know.

Paul is determined to find out exactly why Alistair wants to leave, and refuses to shut up about it; he goes on a bit, and also doesn't know why his mother is being quiet: does she want him to go? She tells him that she doesn't want him to go but respects his decision. He wants to know why, when it is so obviously completely stupid. Jakob says his name in a rebuking tone, and he shouts 'What?' at him; Jakob quietly remarks that he thinks Paul is overstepping the mark, and Denise agrees that he really is. Alistair says that it's OK and he understands that it's upsetting, so Paul goes on arguing, and becomes somewhat hysterical about them all being really weird for not agreeing with him. He bets them any money that this is the best working environment, with the best colleagues [with one really obvious exception. Chris], that any of them has ever had, shouts Paul. Jakob suggests that if Alistair has made his decision they need to respect that, however difficult that might be. Paul sulkily announces that he doesn't respect it. Jakob tells him that he is overstepping the mark now, and Paul, ignoring him, demands of Alistair what the real reason is; you see, Paul doesn't believe him. There is something going on that Alistair is not telling him. Denise tells him to stop, but he's working himself up into a tizzy, and ignores her too. Jakob shouts 'shut up!', to which Paul replies, as to an importunate child, 'I beg your pardon?' Jakob quietly tells him that he is so loud; he can hear Paul's voice all day long, yakkity-yak-yak, and if he's not talking he's singing or playing the radio, laughing... Paul snarks that he didn't know they weren't allowed laughter in the building; Jakob replies that it is too much: it's like he thinks the whole world exists just for him. Alistair's decision isn't any of his business. He doesn't think about anyone else but himself. Deflated, Paul mutters OK, then thanks Jakob for the character assassination and says he thinks he will get back to work. The door shuts behind him, and Alistair asks what Jakob said all that for, to which Jakob replies it was because he wouldn't leave Alistair alone. Denise now indulges in some special pleading: Paul is having a really difficult time at the moment; Jakob knows he is, but he's not the only one, is he. And he is being selfish. [Has Jakob been practising on Kate? Gus.]

Fallon gets in from work to find Harrison cooking bolognaise. He remarks that Tom's takeover is going well, then asks if it makes her sad, to which she replies that she wouldn't want it to fail, not least because then she'd be out of a job. She asks him when he started thinking about the cricket thing, which Emma has obviously mentioned to her and he tells her only this week; he was thinking how he misses running the team. Fallon knows that last time he was in charge he got really stressed, and that was why he stopped doing it; he thinks it would be different now: he's in a different place, and anyway a bit of stress isn't a bad thing, is it, if it's the right kind of stress. Fallon just thinks ... Well, what about looking for a second job? He repeats this as if he can't believe his ears, then reminds her he's only just gone part time. She knows that, but she is racking her brains to think how she can generate more income, and thinking that if she did catering events on her weekends off that could be a money-spinner; she's getting really worried about money. Gormlessly, he asks why, and she patiently explains that they don't have a lot in the bank to fall back on. If he loses his job, she means, Harrison says, almost as an accusation; she says a reluctant yes. He asks crossly if that is what she thinks is going to happen; she doesn't know, and is only going on what he has said. It's not that she doesn't have faith in him: she absolutely does, but this is not in his hands any more, and they can't exactly rely on Harry, even if he seems sincere. Harrison mentions that he is a different bloke when he's sober. Fallon thinks that was why Alice liked him, then adds she hopes Alice is OK; she keeps wanting to ring her to find out, and stopping herself. Harrison doesn't see why she shouldn't, but Fallon is still angry with her for going up to his boss in the car-park like that; she can't quite forgive her. Than she feels really bad because they are part of her support network. Alice has a lot of other supporters, it's not just them, as Harrison tells her, and she admits that's true. He reassures her that they've just got to get through this bit, get the hearing over and then, hopefully, all will be well. She must try not to worry too much; but when she asks how she is to do that, he really doesn't know.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 8th March, 2024

Denise tells Alistair what to do; Harrison is telling everything to everyone he meets.

Characters: Harrison, Alice, Denise, Alistair, Chris
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Mel Ward
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Determined to keep herself front and centre in Harrison's troubles [after all, they have been all about her from the first. Chris] Alice rings Harrison to tell him that Harry has promised that he will say only good things at the hearing, and plans to take the blame completely. Harrison is wary, even though Alice says that's good, isn't it: there are weeks before then and a lot could change, including Harry's mind. He doesn't know, but he doesn't trust him. Alice says she understands, but seeks to reassure him. She apologises again for dragging him into her chaos, and Harrison is very firm that Harry's drinking is not her fault. When she goes on displaying her guilt in front of him, he tells her that what's done is done and they just have to get through it and trust it will be all right. She then invites him and Fallon to the tea party for Martha at three thirty, though she will understand if Fallon doesn't want to be there. Harrison accepts for himself but can't speak for Fallon, who is working today.

Denise has come to talk to Alistair. She just wants to know what the hell he is doing burning his whole life down. She tells him that everything Paul was saying yesterday is completely true. He's very upset with Jakob, by the way; Alistair agrees that was not good. Denise feels it's all such a mess; she thought Alistair was staying and they had agreed he was staying [when was this conversation? I heard no such agreement made between them from Thursday until this scene, and Denise knew nothing of his plan to leave before Thursday's announcement. Chris], so what changed? He reminds her that she said she wanted to work on her marriage; she denies that she said that, only that she said John wanted to. Alistair asks if she is sure, because that's not what he heard. He is now really confused: she clearly does want to work on the marriage. She tells him that she really doesn't, and at this moment her phone rings: it is John, and she is going to have to answer it. She says ominously that this conversation is not over, before going to do so.

At The Nest Chris has arrived early to help with the party preparations, and is talking with Alice in the kitchen. She shows him the cake, of which she is really proud and about which he is full of praise, then starts him making ham and mustard sandwiches what time she tells him the great news that Martha won first prize for her World Book Day costume. Chris has been thinking: it's Mother's Day on Sunday and he and Martha should treat her somehow. He really wants to, because he thinks Mother's Day is hard for her. She asks why, and has to be gently reminded that it would be because of her mum. Chris suggests they could have a day out, the three of them, unless she already had plans. She's meeting Kate at the tea-room in the afternoon, she tells him; she is not seeing Harry on Mother's Day, so she's free in the morning and she'd love to spend some time with him and Martha. Chris then asks if Harry is coming to the party today, and when told he isn't says that he would understand if Alice wanted him there: he is part of her life and therefore part of Martha's, and Chris wouldn't be awkward or anything. Alice evades the subject by saying that she and Chris do a good job with Martha between them, don't they? Chris says they do a brilliant job and she is a brilliant mum, she's made a fabulous cake, and Martha won first prize at World Book Day: what more could he ask for? Alice promptly suggests he could ask for her not to be an alcoholic and them to not be divorced, which throws him somewhat. Lightly, she supposes that you can't have everything, and he replies very quietly that you can't. Anyway, she adds, she was going to tell him this today: she and Harry have split up. He asks when that happened, and she tells him it was last week; Chris says with apparent sincerity that he is sorry, and she says that it's OK, and she is fine. Chris is puzzled because he thought she and Harry were really getting on, and she tells him they were and it's complicated. She doesn't really want to go into it. Chris says it's none of his business, and she says Harry's not who she thought he was, which worries Chris in case he was horrible to her. No, no, she reassures him, not at all; it just didn't work out. Chris says again that he is sorry, and then reckons they'd better crack on with the sandwiches. He also checks again that she is OK, and she says that she really is.

Denise asks whether Alistair did talk to Don yesterday about a transfer [he only mentioned that he was planning to leave after Don had left, and when he did she was shocked and surprised. Chris]; he had planned to but it wasn't Doug and he thought maybe not. She presses him: then the idea of him going is still reversible? Theoretically, yes. He has seen a post near Birmingham for an abattoir vet that he is sure he'd get; Denise tells him she's sure he would too but he can't leave all of them for an abattoir. It's just the most ridiculous thing she's ever heard.

Harrison has made it to Martha's party, though Fallon couldn't get away, and hands over the present from him and Fallon: it's a large dolls' house which he thought was beautiful when he saw it on line. Alice thanks him very much and tells him he is an amazing friend; she is going to say so many nice things about him at her interview. He suggests that perhaps she ought not to mention the dolls' house because they might interpret it as bribery, which makes her laugh. She tells him that she and Fallon have been so good to her, and she really doesn't deserve them. [She's certainly got that right. Chris.]

Alistair and Denise are having yet another conversation in which she is telling him what to do and he is trying to please her, the upshot of which is that she tells him she needs him to be patient with her: can he do that? she asks the six-year-old within. He agrees that he probably can, and she asks him to put the mad plans to leave on hold for a bit, to which he also agrees. She makes it plain they will have to stop kissing in supply cupboards, and that they also have to stop accidentally causing massive rows between Jakob and Paul; Alistair agrees. She has to wait for John to come back from St Lucia and to work out some things with him, and they can take it from there. Alistair agrees that seems reasonable. She instructs him to go and tell Jakob and Paul that he is staying, and he agrees that he'd better do that.

It seems that Martha really loves the dolls' house, as Chris tells Harrison; he describes it as something else to keep her away from 'Champion the slightly pointless pony', though she is prepared to stand next to him now, which is a start. When Chris asks how Harrison has been, Harrison assumes Chris knows about the thing at work and goes on a bit about it and then about how he is hoping to take on the cricket; Chris had not heard about 'the thing at work' and asks what that is; Harrison says he thought Alice would have told him, and when Chris asks what it has to do with Alice and what's going on, wants to say no more. Chris says urgently that he has to tell him now, since he can't go in and ask Alice in the middle of Martha's tea-party; Harrison then tells Chris that it's about the drinking, no, not Alice, Harry, and it is out in the open now because Harry has admitted it. Basically Harry's a drinker and Harrison arrested him for being drunk and disorderly, and then Harrison told Alice and that's why she finished it. Chris is shocked, and wants to know why Alice didn't tell him; Harrison just assumed she had. He goes on to say that Harry threatened to put in a complaint about him so he went to his boss and told her what had happened and how Harrison is being formally investigated. Chris understands, and is sympathetic and asks how bad it is at work; Harrison doesn't know yet but could lose his job. Alice then comes in to praise Harrison again about the dolls' house, and call him a superstar, saying that it's all so lovely; Chris through gritted teeth agrees that yeah, it's great. When Alice suggests they might do the cake if it's not too soon, he makes and effort and says it's not too soon: let's do the cake.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 10th March, 2024

Chris and Alice have it out in Martha's hearing, and Tony hangs a cowhide on the wall.

Characters: Tony, George, Fallon, Alice, Chris
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director
s: Kim Greengrass and Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

At the tea-room Tony is hanging a cowhide on the wall, with George's assistance. It is to be beside one of the windows, and Natasha wants the other by the counter. George wonders how they will stop people from stroking them, but Tony thinks they should encourage it, and waxes lyrical about the whole tactile charm of having the hides on the wall. He also thinks they will emphasise the short food-chain at Bridge Farm tea-room, even though the hides in fact come from cows somewhere quite different. He is interrupted by Fallon, who wants him to get a move on because she is expecting the Mother's Day teatime rush and they don't want the sound of him drilling while they are serving Simnel cake to frazzled mothers. He agrees to finish for now and pop back on Tuesday to do the one over by the counter. She enters an instant caveat about having agreed to keep them to the seating area, not hanging over the food, but he tells her he is just doing what Natasha instructed him to and suggests that Fallon could have a word with her about it. Fallon backs down and says 'whatever she says'. She is worried they will make the room darker, and asks George's opinion; he tries to agree with both her and Tony, which since they have opposite views is a little difficult.

Chris having taken Martha to choose a Mother's Day present for Alice at a vintage charity shop in Felpersham, she has a lovely old teacup; it was between that and a ceramic Wellington boot with a face on it, apparently. Alice laughs and says maybe they could get him Weird Boot Man for Father's Day. He is less than ecstatic in his response to this sally, and she asks almost accusingly if everything is all right, which he says at once that it is. Martha is building a bug-house out of toilet roll middles and yoghurt pots, and Chris says they could take it to his mum's, where he is going while Alice has tea with Kate. Alice asks him to wish Susan a happy day from her, and he mentions that he was thinking about Jennifer earlier, to which Alice replies that her mother thought the world of him. Alice then asks again if he is sure he is OK, manages to get him to use the word 'but', then pesters him into saying that there is something but he would rather talk about it tomorrow. That is clearly not good enough, and she tells him he can't admit something is wrong and then expect her to leave it. She thought things were good between them and they were doing really well. 'Are we?' he asks grimly, and naturally she now wants even more to know what it is about, so he tells her: it's about Harry. He knows about him. After a silence, she asks what he knows.

The hanging of the first hide is nearly done and Tony promises Fallon that there will be no more drilling. He wants to do some quiet measuring before they pack up, but the tea-room is filling up and Fallon wants him and George gone. Kate then arrives full of herself and the wonderful day she has been having, which started with Phoebe ringing while she was still in bed and then went on with her talking to Noluthando and Sipho while Brian made her breakfast; Fallon has put her and Alice under the cowhide, and she objects to it as a monstrosity, which she also gloriously describes as 'the flayed pelt of a once-sentient creature'; Fallon completely agrees and moves her and Alice to another table on the far side of the room, swapping them with Jill and Elizabeth, who have not yet arrived. Kate orders a jasmine tea, and Tony comes over to extol his own work hanging the hide and how good it looks, walking straight into Kate letting her powerful feelings overflow a bit; for once, he gives as good as he gets when he argues in favour of being open about the food they serve: they are a Farm Tea-Room, he says with emphasis. Fallon escapes to fetch the jasmine tea, and George comes over to assure they are all done and you could eat a slice of cake off the floor he has just swept. He wants to know where he should put the other hide until Tuesday, but she doesn't care as long as it's nowhere near the kitchen; she just hopes more customers aren't put off. George tries to mansplain to her about USPs, and is thoroughly defeated because she does know what she is talking about and doesn't hesitate to rub his nose in that and the other marketing information she has been on courses to learn. George, not really quashed, says they must be making a mint if they can afford to throw four hundred quid at a couple of cowhides. Fallon laughs a little bitterly and says it's not her money.

Alice and Chris are now having a thoroughly unpleasant exchange of views. She tries to make it about Harrison having no right to tell him about it, but he doesn't want to be deflected, either to Harrison or to Chris not having said anything the previous day. He says he needed time to think about it, and she tells him he means 'silently fume'. She tells him that if anyone should be upset that the man she thought was nice was in fact a liar, it should be her, and Chris asks crossly whether Harry is the only one who is a liar. She's startled: she hasn't lied to him. Loudly he tells her that she lied about why she split up with Harry, and she tells him to keep his voice down: Martha. She didn't think to mention he got arrested when driving a car wasted; Alice indignantly says she didn't know he was a drinker. Chris not only doesn't believe her, he tells her that as an alcoholic she must have known, and over-rides her saying that she can't believe he is being like this by asking her whether they drank together: was that why she liked him? Has she been drinking this whole time? She exclaims 'no!' and tells him to stop it. He apologises and admits he shouldn't have said that, and Alice, now thoroughly angry, tells him that it's none of his business: if it's a mess, it's her mess, and why would he care? Because of Martha, he retorts, and her: she's his wi... she's his ex. When Harrison told him he thought he was going to be sick. Shrilly she tells him to imagine how it felt to her! Chris shouts that he doesn't want to know, then adds more quietly that he doesn't want to hear anything about that man. Alice asks disbelievingly whether he is angry at her, and gets the confusing answer 'Yes! No. Not at you, but at this.' Deflating, he adds that he doesn't know, just as Alice's phone sounds for a message. Kate wants to know where Alice is, and Christopher says that is exactly what he wanted to avoid. Alice knows she had better go; she'll just say goodbye to Martha. She doesn't want the lift he offers, and tells him Martha's bag is on her bed and he can let himself out. As a parting shot she adds – not to worry; she promises she'll stick to tea.

Since Alice is late, Fallon brings Kate another pot of tea and asks if she should start to prepare their sandwiches and cakes; since Alice is on her way and has texted Kate her order, this is possible. Kate wants the vegan full afternoon tea and fruit scones with jam only, which will disappoints Emma because she is very proud of the stiffness of her whip on the plant-based cream, and Alice would like the full works, and a large latte with dairy milk. Alice arrives while Fallon is still with Kate, and Kate has to go to the loo because of all the tea she has been drinking, which leaves Fallon unwillingly alone with Alice. Alice is determined to prevent Fallon from getting on with her job, summoning her back to the table in order to ask how she is, and how things are with Harrison. Fallon [though the tea-room is crowded and she is rushed off her feet. Chris] finds time to make polite conversation with her about Harrison, and Martha's tea-party, though she denies having had anything to do with the dolls' house. She then tries to escape, but Alice summons her back one more time in order to ask if she has given her interview, and to wish her good luck when she is told it will be some time this week. Alice says she had an informal interview yesterday, and then as Fallon makes another bid for escape insists on telling her yet again and with ghastly sincerity that she is really sorry and wishes she could put back... Fallon finally loses patience and tells her sharply that she knows, and they just have to get on with it now and hope for the best; also she needs to work. The unforgiven Alice subsides as Kate comes back to the table and wants to be told everything, starting with why she was late. Alice would emphatically rather talk about anything else, so Kate, nothing loath, starts to offer subjects of interest to Kate: Jakob and the whatever is happening at the vets', how Sabrina Thwaite brought her dog for a massage at Spiritual Home, or exactly how many times Brian has complained about the weather and the replanting. No, please, not that, Alice moans. Kate goes back to asking what happened, and of course Alice does tell her: that Chris found out about Harry's arrest and is really not happy about it. Kate understandably can't see how Harry getting arrested is Alice's fault and Alice goes into a fugue about her being less stupid, less gullible, less desperate, and not believing that something might work; Kate tells her to stop. This has been awful for her but she is not to blame [a new way to express 'It's not your fault.' Chris]; Alice says tartly that's not what Chris thinks. They had a horrible row and she couldn't even do that properly because Martha was in the next room. Kate tells her to forget Chris and concentrate on her own journey of healing, but Alice has to see Chris practically every day and so can't just forget him. It's hard enough when they are getting on, and now there's an atmosphere everything's going to be so difficult. Kate agrees that she needs to find a time to talk to him when Martha isn't around, though she also needs to look after herself. They need to find her a fun distraction. Alice however has now made up her mind that what she really needs to do is go over to the forge tomorrow and talk this out. [Which might be a bit futile, since Chris has a mobile forge and goes to his customers rather than them coming to him, and is likely to be out all day working. Chris.]

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 11th March, 2024

George shows some sense, Ed shows his true colours and Alice shows herself up.

Characters: Will, Emma, Ed, George, Chris, Alice
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director
s: Kim Greengrass and Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Since both Ed and Emma have come round to see him, Will thinks (rightly) that they have made up their minds to accept his offer. Their gratitude for this, which he says is being made because it's a family business and he is sure they'd do the same [optimist! Chris] doesn't extend to an immediate toast, because Emma has to get back to work and Ed is on a tractor all afternoon, and seems a little dented when he asks to have a copy of the business plan, and even more so when George comes in, discovers what is being planned and is utterly opposed to it, going so far as to be unpleasant about it being a three-way relationship and call his mother and uncle 'clowns': if they mess this up Will's family will be out in the street. Emma is shocked: what a horrible thing to say. He asks what she and Ed are investing, and when Ed says their time, re-search and expertise, he says exactly nothing. He advises Will not to be a mug, and that's all he has to say.

True to her word, Alice has come to confront Chris at the forge. She can see he is busy [yes, he is at work. Some people are busy when they are at work, Alice. Chris] and offers to come back later, but he seems to want to get whatever it is over with, and asks what it's about; he doesn't know, since he didn't ask for this meeting. She is instantly antagonistic, using a very nasty voice to say that if it is a 'meeting' she will lay out the agenda. He tells her there is no need to get petty, and she goes on the attack: she's not the one getting anything, he is the one who is completely over-reacting to this. Resignedly he says OK, his fault. She starts to tell him how upset she was yesterday, and how she honestly has no idea what he was so angry about; he feels that is pretty obvious. He was angry because he heard it from Harrison, and he feels he can't trust her, again. It's like every lie she told him back when... He breaks off, then goes on, every secret drink she had. She claims she made amends because she said she was sorry for each and every time she made him feel like that. Bitterly, he says that everything's OK then; with her 'sorry' he should just forget how that was. He wishes he could. And he knows it's an illness, but she has a buddy to work through things with and make her feel better; he doesn't have a buddy, he's on his own. Alice protests that isn't how it works, but Chris is now telling her how he feels: he has forgiven her for everything, he really has, but sometimes, much as he might want to, he can't forget. Angrily, she asks if he thinks she has, but he just says she seems to have moved on from it all, from all the agony she caused for them. She asserts that she hates what she did to him, and she's sorry: she'll say it as many times as he wants – she says 'I''m sorry!' repeatedly, a little louder and shriller each time. She ends up shrieking that she can't change the past. Having reduced him to tears, she begs him not to cry; he denies that he is, so she goes on. Maybe he'll never believe anything she says, but she didn't know Harry had a problem with drink, she was open and honest with him about her past, he knew what she'd had to do to keep sober, and if she'd had any idea he was dishonest with her she would never have got into any kind of relationship with him. And yet, Chris points out, she did.

Will is now trying to have a conversation with George, who is surly and unpleasant and says there is nothing to talk about. He just doesn't see why Will would suddenly trust the two of them, who've never been successful at anything in their lives. Will tries to tell him that's not true, but doesn't actually produce any examples of their successes. He thinks their idea is sound; George reminds him the bank didn't think much of it. Will agreed with George that it was a risk, so he has asked Brian Aldridge to look over the plan they have made. He's meeting him in The Bull for lunch and thought George might like to come along.

Alice protests that she didn't lie, and Christopher says that she failed to tell the truth. She says he knows she would have told him about Harry even if he hadn't heard it from Harrison, but she didn't think she had to rush round as soon as it happened; Martha wasn't likely to miss him and she just wanted to move on and forget she ever met him. Chris calms down and says OK to that. Alice immediately assumes that means that he does trust her. He sighs and tells her he does. She won't leave it there and demands 'But?' and he remarks that she nearly put Martha in a car with a drunk. She says that's not fair, and he tells her that he used to be nervous of leaving Martha alone with her and torture himself thinking of her in danger and what could happen if he wasn't there; he got over that, but Alice has no idea how hard that was. Irrelevantly, she tells him she didn't get sober by accident and she won't drink again by accident either. Fortunately for both of them, before the whole cycle starts again Emma comes in wanting to talk about Eddie's birthday, and Alice leaves, having achieved nothing in particular with her confrontation. Emma asks what that was about, and initially Chris doesn't tell her, but, when she notices that he's been crying, explains they had a row about Harry. Emma thought that was over, but Chris further explains that Alice didn't tell him Harry was a drinker, enough to get him in trouble with the police. When Emma asks if Alice knew, Chris says that she claims she didn't, and he doesn't know what's true and what's not, he only knows anything because Harrison told him. Emma suddenly realises what Fallon was talking about the other day, which leads Chris to grumble that everyone knew before him but maybe Alice really didn't have any idea. When Emma says that he always gives her the benefit of the doubt, he asks what choice he has when she's Martha's mum. Since she stopped drinking she's been a wonderful mum. Emma tells him that he is a wonderful dad, and he asks why he feels so rubbish, then. Saying 'come here, you,' she gives him a hug.

Will is trying to convince George that Ed and Em's enterprise will be the way to drag the Grundys up from the unsuccessful schemes and precarious way of life of Joe and Eddie, and into some sort of security such as Clarrie yearns for. It will be a business he can be proud to pass on to George and Poppy one day. George doesn't think he needs that help, because he'll make plenty from being an internet influencer, though when Will asks him how that is going he has to admit that it isn't. Will [with no irony whatever as far as I could hear. Chris] tells him that he's not an expert, but anything which claims to be a get-rich-quick scheme [such as suddenly being an expert lumberjack without any training? Chris] is a scam or a lie. He's better off working hard at Bridge Farm than dreaming of going viral. And what is an influencer anyway? George evades this question by saying he doesn't fancy being a farm-hand all his life: how is that any different from what the family's always done? Will similarly ignores the question and starts to tell him that if this is a success it will be a family enterprise and George won't have to be a farm-hand: the important thing will be that they're not relying on getting famous or lucky to make their money. They'll succeed because they're filling a gap in the market with an expert service. [There is a whole lot wrong with this: what gap? what expertise? but apparently he doesn't see it. Chris.]

At work for once, Alice is interrupted by Chris [turnabout is fair play. Chris], who wants to talk. Flatly, she says she is working; he tells her it won't take a minute. She tells him she can't handle another row right now, but when he says 'me neither' she condescends to ask what he wants to say. He has come to grovel, in effect: he didn't want to make her feel she wasn't a good mum earlier. She tells him she is a pretty decent mum; she admits she's not perfect, but Martha comes first, and she thought he knew that. He affirms that he does, but he doesn't know how to get rid of the feeling; but that's his problem. Martha needs Alice, and that's all he wanted to say. Alice isn't going to accept that graciously: and next time something happens that sends him into a spiral of panic, she asks acidly, does she have to listen to him telling her that he doesn't trust her to look our daughter? Chris accurately states that he didn't say that, but she is sure that he 'kinda' did. Trying hard, Chris says he doesn't want things to be difficult between them, but Alice thinks they always will be: she can't change the past, so he'll never completely trust her. He quite fails to reassure her that he will, instead telling her that he had to work quite hard to be happy for her with Harry. Having no immediate answer to this, she says she really does need to get on: the owner will be there in a minute. She says loudly that she's not planning to get back with Harry, if that's what Chris is worried about. He turns to go, and she thinks of a last word to have and tells him, as if he were contesting it, that Martha is all that matters; he quietly agrees.

A toast to the future in Ed's Christmas present whisky, and then Ed asks Will what he thought of the plan: did he get a chance to look it? He did, and there's lots in there they can work with. Ed objects to that phrase, and Emma tells him she and Ed have already spent a lot of time on it and she thinks it's practically ready to go. [Go where? Chris.] Will feels that it has to be water-tight if he is putting up his house as a guarantee. Emma pounces on the word 'if': she thought they had agreed he was in. Will is, but he doesn't want to sign anything until he is happy with the plan. Ed is not pleased: the plan they've spent weeks on and he's looked at for what, an hour? Will suggests that he can just leave if that's a problem, and Emma hastens to tell him to stay so they can have a look at it together. When she asks what he means, he mentions their marketing strategy being weak, and the budget for it inadequate, and their projections based on potential customers miss a lot of local possibilities; Ed grumbles but Emma can see Will has a point. Will then wants to know why they have gone for the LX47 Rapier as kit. Angrily, Ed asks if there is anything about the plan that Will does like? Of course there is; but Will thinks the best thing is for them to draft a new plan based on the notes he's made. He has to rush because Clarrie is making dinner for him and Poppy; let him know when they're ready to talk it through. When he has gone Ed bitterly [but belatedly. Chris] expresses the hope he chokes on that whisky, though Emma knows that to be fair, everything he said was right; Ed is spitting tin-tacks not about what he said but about the way he said it. He isn't sure this is going to work. [Whereas everyone listening is reasonably sure it isn't. Chris.]

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 12th March, 2024

Ed gripes, George clypes, and Kate and Paul have a horrible meeting of minds.

Characters: Jakob, Kate, Emma, Ed, George, Paul
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director
s: Kim Greengrass and Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Jakob is having computer trouble, which Kate fixes by switching it off and then on again. She corrects him for not thanking her, and then wants to know what is upsetting him. His planned day has been made hideous for him by having to go into the surgery before his first appointment in Websterbridge and see (shudder) people. Kate intuitively realises that all is not well at the practice, and Jakob agrees that it's awful; she asks if there is anyone in particular he would rather not see, but he thinks it's more a case of Paul not wanting to see him. He's hardly spoken a word to Jakob since last week, and it's very uncomfortable. She asks Jakob whether something might have upset Paul which happened last week, and when he tells her that some harsh words were spoken she at once taxes him with having said them. Jakob says defensively that Paul wasn't blameless, but she is only interested in what Jakob said to him, which Jakob can't remember exactly, though he knows it was about how loud Paul is, how irritating, always talking and singing; Jakob may have insinuated he was selfish. Kate exclaims 'Jakob!' in horrified accusation, and hopes he has apologised. When he repudiates the very idea, she tells him that she really thinks he should; she tells him that sometimes he can come over as quite stern, and he is Paul's boss so she imagines it really hurt to hear him say those things. [Has she ever actually met Paul? Chris.] She thinks he should talk to Paul, today, and apologise to him, since nothing ever gets better by letting it fester.

After reminding Ed that he needs to fetch Keira home from rugby practice after school, Emma goes on to tell him about Chris's unhappiness because of his row with Alice: once you have a kid together there's never any escape, is there. This leads Ed to mention that George was drinking cider with Eddie last night and slept in the caravan rather than stagger home. Ed then starts to inveigh against Will's suggestions on their Plan, because Will has used a red pen for them [I have known sensitive little souls who found red-pen correction intolerable; their tutors had to use green, and doing so made them feel like nutters writing to local newspapers. Chris]; when Emma suggests that at least his showing interest means he is less likely to pull out, Ed grumbles that it might be better if he did. Are they mad, bringing him into it? [No, they are onto a good lurk; but he is mad going into it. Chris.] Emma remarks that they don't have a choice, and Ed goes on finding things to object to. Emma feels that the thing to focus on is the big dream: a Grundy business that can grow and grow. Ed hopes that once it's up and running Will can just do one; Emma, more pragmatic, is aware that it is Will's money. Ed feels the legwork he and Emma are doing is equivalent to the loan. Emma suggests being super-civil to Will and saving up 'all the pompous things he says' to laugh at later. This appeals to Ed briefly, but he then reverts to complaint about Will using 'astrickses' all over his essay Plan; Emma tells him to rise above it. This leads to them canoodling, and this is interrupted by George, who loudly proclaims that sex ought to be banned for old people. Ed asks after his hangover, and George claims not to get hangovers because of his youthful metabolism; Emma feels that since it is almost eleven, he hasn't exactly got out of bed betimes, but he tells her he isn't due at Bridge Farm until the afternoon. He then noseys into their paperwork, and when told it is their business plan refers to it as 'the next doomed Grundy scheme'. Emma tells him she and Ed were about to look over the notes Will has made, and George offers to give them the benefit of his expertise.

Following Kate's diktat, Jakob seeks out Paul and thanks him for reorganising the merchandise shelves, then steels himself to say that he owes Paul an apology for the things he said last week and the way he said them: he's sorry. Paul says he is sorry too: maybe he was going on a bit. Jakob accepts his apology, and Paul says he will try to be quieter from now on; Jakob says he doesn't have to be, but Paul is embarrassed about being hard to put up with. Jakob suggests that just because he is irritated by something that doesn't mean to say he is right. He then lists Paul's positive points: for instance, Paul chatting with people means Jakob doesn't have to. Paul asks anxiously whether that means he is not too much, and Jakob assures him he isn't for most people.

George is praising some of Will's points because he did them at college; he explains what 'SMART targets' are. It's all about acronyms and unless they know the business lingo everyone will be running rings around them. Ed finds it hard to credit that Will knows them, and George at once tells them the notes are Brian's: Dad went to meet him in the pub yesterday. Ed decides this makes Will a fraud, though George thinks he is just being careful and protecting his assets. George thanks them for the bacon butty and says he will leave them to self-destruct. After he has shut the door emphatically behind him Emma says 'Love you too' in a voice which means the opposite, and she and Ed then agree to leave work in the plan until tonight, and then maybe they can find someone who knows about business to take a look. She suggests Justin; Ed thinks they could then pretend his ideas were theirs and prove to Will that they know more than he does, but Emma thinks they could just stop seeing it as a competition and work together to make it a success.

At lunch-time Kate comes over to join Paul at a table the crowded tea-room and they unite in abusing the 'cow-rugs' on the wall but praising the cooking. Kate is glad to see Paul laughing, because she was afraid that Jakob had permanently extinguished all the joy. She proceeds to tell Paul that Jakob was in a terrible mood at breakfast because he had made Paul unhappy [what a little liar she is! He was unhappy because Paul has been being a mardy little git. Chris] and Paul reveals that Jakob talked with him and it was terribly awkward (which makes Kate laugh), but also frank, honest and sweet. Kate assures him Jakob likes him, which Paul knows is not what Jakob said: he said that other people like Paul. He knows Jakob has no malice in him, and also that he wouldn't have said what he did last week if he hadn't meant it. Kate says that in theory Jakob would like to live in an ordered world of silence, and yet he has chosen to share his life with her and chaos, which Paul thinks is because he obviously loves her. He thinks however that Jakob might have a point about him; he could definitely calm down and grow up a bit. Kate begs him not to, but he tells her Jakob isn't the first person to find him hard to take. At one job he overheard some colleagues saying he was a little pest, and wasn't sure how he should behave around them after that. Kate says that's on them, and describes them as 'sad little people'. Paul says he got over it, kind of, but last week when Jakob said how annoying he is... Kate breaks in to say airily that she annoys people all the time, both those who hate her and those who love her, and Paul asks what she does about it; nothing, she states; this is her: take it or leave it. Paul announces that he thinks she's great, and thanks her for thawing things out between Jakob and him. She tells him he's welcome; and now she's solved the problem of their toxic work environment, she needs to work out a way to make things better for her little sister, who needs something to cheer her up. Paul offers ideas: a new hair-do, or a box of goodies delivered to her door, or a fab day out; Kate leaps on this last suggestion.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 13th March, 2024

Kate forces Paul to gatecrash Jakob's quiet evening, and Brian makes a date.

Characters: Alice, Brian, Kate, Jakob, Paul, Miranda
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director
s: Kim Greengrass and Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Off for a day at Cheltenham races with Brian, by seven thirty Alice has been dollied up by Kate in some of Joy's cast-off clothes, which were given to Kate after Tony's unfortunate house clearance efforts at The Lodge: she looks amazing. Kate apparently sewed vintage flowers onto a fascinator for her, too. Just before they go, Alice proposes to call Lilian and tell her when to expect Starlight's owners, who want to talk about stabling another horse with them, and she's remembered that Jakob is doing booster vaccinations this morning: she feels guilty about leaving Lilian to deal with everything at such short notice. Kate says that Lilian is just delighted Alice and Brian are having a day out, and even contributed a bracelet to the outfit. Alice is very grateful to all of them, and feels happier than she has for weeks.

The booster vaccinations are nearly all done, with Jakob, attended by Paul, giving Panther his third and final vaccination. Paul chooses the occasion to talk about bumping into Kate yesterday; Jakob already knows about that and their plans for a drink at The Bull after work. Paul asks whether he fancies coming along, but he absolutely doesn't: he has drink at home, and a good book to finish. He then offers to talk about something while they pack up, though he doesn't have any ideas about what; Paul suggests they could kick off with celebrity gossip and then move on to some light banter about Ambridge. Jakob is less than enthusiastic, and Paul gently explains that he was joking: he is quite happy to keep their chatter to equine matters and brief remarks about the weather.

As the races are ending, Alice tells Brian she has had the time of her life, and he even arranged for the sun to be shining. [Clever chap; my racecourse correspondent tells me that it was grey all Wednesday at Cheltenham races. Chris.] Although they haven't won a bean, Brian thinks it's been his best day ever at the races, and Alice goes along with that. She asks if he is in a hurry to get home: Chris has texted that he is happy to have Martha tonight, so they can stay out after her daughter's bed-time and avoid the rush-hour. Brian asks how things are with Chris, having been told by Kate about their row; Alice would rather not talk about it because she doesn't want to spoil the magic of the day. Brian agrees to stay as late as they can: it's a rare opportunity for the two of them to let their hair down. Not that he has a lot these days to let down, he adds ruefully; Alice plans to keep her hair firmly up, because Kate would kill her if she ruined her chignon. Brian suggests taking a photo in front of the parade ring to show the world how well they scrub up.

Paul and Kate are having a slightly raucous conversation in The Bull, with Kate boasting about embarrassing dance-floor exploits and Paul responding with his own embarrassment on an occasion when he was giving a talk about veterinary nursing to a Women's Institute and seemed unable to avoid innuendos, and then drawing attention to them by apologising. It split the audience: half were outraged and the other half laughing their heads off and heckling. Kate produces a very lame joke for him, asking what you give a sick horse; he replies to it absolutely straight, she tells him the answer is cough stirrup, and even Paul groans. She tells him that Jakob didn't laugh either, and he jokes that he and Jakob must have more in common than they'd thought. When asked whether it was any better at work today than yesterday, he regales her with having been pretty sure Jakob attempted to make small talk with him. Kate is impressed: he really must be trying to make it up to Paul.

Alice goes to see whether the race-course caterers can let them have a table for the evening meal, though Brian is not optimistic about her chances. No sooner has she gone than an old acquaintance approaches Brian: it's Miranda Elliott, Justin's ex-wife, who has been having a wonderful day. She has not heard about Jennifer's death, which slightly embarrasses them both. Miranda [who on air despised Jennifer, and the Aldridges' 'potty little parties'. Chris] says that she always thinks of Jennifer in that gorgeous kitchen of theirs creating a culinary masterpiece, full of life: it's almost impossible to think of her any other way. Brian finds this a refreshing change from the mournful look people give you when you tell them the news. She claims to have missed their dinners together after her divorce from Justin, then asks what their plans are today; when Brian tells her Alice is trying to get them a table for dinner Miranda tells him she has no chance because they don't serve evening meals. She then tells Brian she is involved in organising an event in Borchester on Friday night and will be there all Thursday setting things up: if he fancies meeting for a coffee and a catch-up it would be a welcome break from work. Brian pleads work himself; he is extremely busy with the farm and family at the moment and doesn't think he'll be able to get away. She gives him her card in case he changes his mind, and asks him to tell Justin she said 'Hi' when he sees him. Alice, returning as she leaves, asks who she is and when told it is Justin Elliott's ex claims to have thought she recognised her. Brian says they used to have the couple round for dinner sometimes; in those days Jennifer would start cooking straight after breakfast for the parties they used to give and Brian, says Alice, would annoy her all day hanging around trying to taste things before they were ready. Absolutely, agrees Brian, because the whole house smelt so good. When Alice remarks that the single life must suit Miranda, who looked stunning, Brian, all surprise, asks 'Did she?' Anyhow, though the race-course caterers don't do evening sittings they have told Alice where she and Brian can get mini roast beef and Yorkshire puddings [sic. Chris], or they could stop at a pub on the way home. Brian votes for beef, Alice says she needs to freshen up and apply a new coat of lippy, and they agree to meet by the paddock in fifteen minutes.

Jakob is enjoying a peaceful evening when his front door is opened. He breathes 'oh, no', and it is even worse than he fears: Kate has not only come over herself, she has brought Paul with her. Paul was not convinced that Jakob would want to be surprised, and shows signs of being prepared to leave, but Kate bulldozes through Jakob's objections, telling him that he gave her a key and she shouldn't have to make an appointment to see him when she is his life partner. Paul reasonably points out that he isn't Jakob's life partner and they should have rung to check it was OK to descend on him. He is sorry, and he'll get going. Jakob says that now Paul is here it would be rude to send him away, and Kate agrees; and after all, it is only eight o'clock. The night is young. Paul stammers and asks if Jakob is sure it's all right to stay, and Kate pre-emptively states that of course it is and Jakob can read any time. Jakob, trying to get into the mood, asks whether they had fun at the pub and Kate tells him that she told Paul horse jokes; when Jakob asks if they made him laugh, Paul says 'No, they're truly terrible,' and begs Kate not to give up her day job. However, when Kate asks if he is saying she should rein it in Jakob laughs, and Paul says that was pretty good, off the cuff. [Does nobody know that phrase means 'from notes written on your cuff' and applies to after-dinner speaking? No? Oh well. Chris.] Spontaneous, he adds, while Jakob chimes in pleading for no more. Kate tells Paul to make himself at home while she gets the drinks, and Paul tells Jakob that he did try to warn Kate that Jakob had planned a quiet night; Jakob doesn't imagine she even heard him: that woman is a force of nature. Paul agrees she is.

Brian has rung Miranda, who has ended up going to a party hosted by one of the jockeys, very lavish: the youngsters were in a hot-tub and champagne flowing freely. Yet she is home by ten, remarks Brian; she asks coyly who said she was home, but then admits she is teasing and after one glass of champagne and a few canapés all she could think about was falling into bed. Brian comments that is where he should be: he has to be up at the crack of dawn to check on the replanting they are doing for her ex. She enquires whether he just rang to tell her he wouldn't be having a lie-in, or was there another reason, and he tells her that as it turns out, he'll be in Borchester tomorrow after all, so if her offer of coffee is still on the table, he'd love to take her up on it.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 14th March, 2024

Justin delivers advice in more ways than one, and Miranda lies in her teeth.

Characters: Brian, Justin, Miranda, Emma
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director
s: Kim Greengrass and Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

During a round of golf, Justin mentions having heard that Brian had a wonderful time at Cheltenham, and Brian says it was a nice break from the worry about their waterlogged fields, which they then discuss for a bit. Brian feels that he isn't as worried as he ought to be: yesterday's jaunt was supposed to be to cheer up Alice, but he thinks it did him some good too. And Justin wouldn't believe who they bumped into: Justin's ex-wife. Justin's reaction is, 'Goodness. I am sorry,' followed, when Brian says she spoke warmly of Jenny, by a burst of character assassination and then the minor concession that for all her faults she could be a lot of fun – but don't tell Lilian he said that! Brian promises not to, but also doesn't mention that he will be meeting Miranda later. Justin has got tickets for to go to the BL Easter Ball at Grey Gables with Lilian; will Brian be there? Brian thinks not: there's no fun getting ready for such an occasion on your own. Justin invites him to sit with them if he does decide to come. When Justin asks if Brian has time for a drink at the club house, since he can fit one in himself before a meeting with Emma, Brian refuses: he has an appointment in Borchester. He does ask what the meeting with Emma is about, but makes no remark when Justin tells him she is looking for some business advice.

At their rendezvous Miranda brings over an Americano for Brian and a flat white for herself; she instructs Brian in what the difference is between a flat white and a latte apart from the price. She was surprised when he called; she thought he had given her the brush-off. Brian denies that, on the grounds that he really is very busy; he also wasn't expecting her to give him her card, and he could see Alice coming back and he thought she might ... Miranda breaks in: she understands. Justin is part of his family now. She wonders how he would react if he knew they were fraternising. Brian laughs and asks if that is what they are doing, and she asks whether Brian told Justin they were meeting; when he says 'no' she laughs: see? Clandestine fraternisation. They laugh together and Brian asks about her party last night, which apparently was a bit of a bore because everyone was a little too loud and a little too drunk. Useful for making contacts nevertheless, according to Miranda: she organises after-dinner speakers for high-end events, which is what she is doing in Borchester: they have an event tomorrow. It's a dinner with artist Francesca Lockhart, an animal portraitist of whom even Brian has heard. She has a huge international reputation and has only agreed to talk at the dinner because she is local; they have over a hundred guests confirmed. This [parochial little. Chris] event seems to be something Miranda organises regularly, since she talks about the speaker they had last month, though she doesn't mention what it is called or what it is about or for, under whose aegis. Brian comments on her having so many strings to her bow, and adds that it is no wonder Jenny felt a little intimidated [this is pure invention: she didn't. Chris], which Miranda instantly disputes: Jennifer was the brilliant one. She choreographed those evenings they had at the Aldridges'. [All one of it. Chris.] Brian agrees that Jenny was wonderful, and Miranda goes on with her invention: she was the one intimidated, although the better she got to know Jennifer the more she realised how warm she was. She used to enjoy their little heart to hearts – which Brian doesn't remember them having. Miranda explains this away by them having happened while Brian and Justin were having their after-dinner brandy. Apparently, in Miranda's invented scenes at the fictitious evening meals, she and Jennifer would pour themselves another glass of wine and chat about books, farming, food, the state of their marriages... [I'm sure Jennifer would have been happy to chat about her sister's affair with Miranda's husband. In a pig's eye. Chris.] The last couple of times they came round Justin and she were practically living separate lives [Lowfield, 18th February 2026: 'Jenny declares that Justin and Miranda have always led separate lives, so Brian should be pleased that the new arrangement is lifting Lilian's spirits'. I just mention. Chris], just keeping up appearances, and she remembers a night at Home Farm when Justin was being particularly unpleasant to her and embarrassed her with little snide comments; Brian doesn't remember. Miranda assures him his wife noticed, and while they were clearing the dishes she said it was a shame Miranda was stuck with such a petty, small-minded man. Miranda hugged her: it was a perfect description.

Emma is startled and taken aback that Justin plans to charge her a consultation fee for his advice, though when she pleads poverty he agrees to take payment in kind: once their business is up and running Ed and Emma can do half an hour's tree-trimming at The Dower House in exchange for his half-hour of advice. He just has to make a quick call and then he is all hers.

Miranda and Brian are now discussing their pipe-dreams: if Miranda could go anywhere it would have to be the orang-utan jungle school in Borneo. Brian laughs delightedly: she has surprised him again. He would have guessed her perfect escape would be sailing in the Aegean, or staying in a horse-ranch in Florida. She agrees that she wouldn't turn down one of those either. Brian's phone rings: it is Justin, calling about the Estate farming: Brian says that he is in the middle of something that needs his full attention, and will ring him back.

Justin praises Emma on their executive summary; he has seen much worse, and the first paragraph is punchy and to the point. The rest of the plan feels far less focussed, and is a little verbose. Emma is downcast, because it has taken her ages. He asks who it is aimed at, and what it is for, and Emma tells him it is so she and Ed will know what they are doing. And they will have to show it to Will. Justin immediately assumes other potential investors, and advises they will want to see start-up plans; don't try to over-reach, and definitely don't try to fudge the numbers. She tells him changes they have made since the plan he did not actually see, and that if Will isn't happy he isn't going to help them. Justin now knows what the plan has to do: convince Will he has made the right decision. This seems to be a revelation to Emma, and Justin advises her on what is needed to sell Will on them and their idea. He mentions ending every section with a couple of SMART targets, and Emma latches onto that as something she has already heard of. She thanks Justin fulsomely, and he tells her it is no problem. He looks forward to seeing where they go with this.

After their catch-up over coffee Brian and Miranda are returning to their cars and still chatting. Miranda's opinion is that it was nice to turn her phone off and have a proper break, and Brian bemoans not having done the same: he apologises for the call from Justin, but Miranda feels it's rather fun to think he's in the dark. Brian asks whether she has an office in Borchester, but no: she works from home or at whatever venue the event is being held in. She then has to go and collect some artwork from the gallery for display tomorrow, where she imagines that with the artist there to sign it, it will sell very well; Brian wishes her all the best for the occasion. She suggests that if Brian is free he could come along; when he claims to know very little about art she tells him it's as much about the food and the company. He still clams he doesn't know, so she suddenly remembers a cancellation which means there is a space free at her table: she'd be so delighted if he decided to join her.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 15th March, 2024

There's disappointment for Tony and Miranda, and Alice plays the same record again, again.

Characters: Fallon, Tony, Emma, Alice, Brian, Miranda
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director
s: Kim Greengrass and Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

When Tony comes into the tea-room for some coffee and a slice of buttered tea-loaf to take away, happy because he took the Anguses out to grass earlier and they were delighted, skipping and dancing like kids in a playground, he remarks that the hides are looking good and asks Emma whether she thinks people are noticing them. You could say that, it seems, but when he asks if it is positive feedback she tells it to him unvarnished. One women said the smell reminded her of the handbags you haggle for at markets on holiday, and made a face; this worries Tony slightly but he thinks the smell should fade. At this Fallon joins in: the vast majority of people who've said something to them (or, as Emma adds, they've overheard talking) told them outright that they don't like the hides, or that they find it a bit weird having them stretched over the wall of a tea-room. Downcast, Tony asks if they are saying they should take them down; Fallon says that's not her decision to make, but he asked for feedback and they're just passing on what they heard. Emma goes one further: yesterday a couple who had cycled all the way over from Faircastle [about twelve miles. Chris] for their veggie quiches left without buying anything because they didn't want to eat them in a café decorated with dead animals. Tony thinks that a bit dramatic, but Fallon points out that their customers are increasingly made up of vegetarians and vegans, or at least someone in every party who doesn't eat meat. Tony protests that surely they are not suggesting they take all meat off the menu or stop farming animals at Bridge Farm, but Fallon is not suggesting anything, just letting him know that the customers don't seem too keen on the current décor. Tony crossly says he will let Tom and Natasha know. As Emma gives him his order he mourns that cowhides are so beautiful, and he really thought they'd make the finishing touch to Natasha's re-style.

Since Brian is in his garden deadheading the daffodils it seems otiose for Alice to ask if she has caught him gardening, but she does. She is on her way to The Stables after dropping Martha and Xander at nursery, and thought she'd return the clothes Kate lent her; Kate isn't there, but Brian will take them up to her room when he goes in. Alice saw the photo of them which Kate posted on line, and says Brian looked very dapper. She thanks him for the really lovely day; she felt all her problems had disappeared for a while. Brian is delighted at the success of a change of scene in giving her a new perspective. He asks about her plans for tonight; she has none, and asks what he is up to, to which he replies that he might have a quiet night in, although there was some talk of a meet-up at Grey Gables with some golfing friends. He asks why she doesn't see if Fallon fancies a night out, but Alice is pretty sure Fallon won't want to see her. Brian thinks it unfair for her to get all the blame when it was Harry who caused the trouble for Harrison, but Alice feels that she didn't help, and also Harry was only around because of her. She understands why Fallon wants to keep her distance and she would feel the same in her shoes. Alice's uncharacteristic ability to see someone else's point of view, and fading voice, worry Brian: is she OK? He offers to put the kettle on, but she insists that she is fine, and anyway she needs to get back to work. She's just tired and a night in will be good for her.

The hides are being taken down; Tony tells George there's not much point keeping them up if the customers are complaining. Tony is sore about it and thinks on this occasion the customer is wrong. He describes it as the end of an era [possibly Sarah Hehir's cack-handed response to the online mockery of that phrase being cack-handedly used in BBC spoilers for TA. Chris], to which George replies rightly that less than a week can't really be called an era. Tony tells him to take his break now, and goes off to call Tom. Emma congratulates George on the neat job and hopes that maybe they can get some pictures back on the walls. George admits to feeling a bit sorry for Tony, who was pretty stoked on Sunday when George was helping him put them up; Emma takes up the subject of helping and George assumes she is talking about him helping to do more in the house [why would she care? He doesn't live with her any more. Chris] and says Will already had a go, and he put on a load of washing only this morning; that isn't what she is talking about. She now does want his help with the preparation of the business plan after all: she's chatted with Justin, and also with Fallon, and realised that the things he was saying were pretty spot-on. George sulkily suggests that maybe he doesn't want to help any more, but at that moment Fallon comes over and says his mum was telling her that he was going to help her with the wording of her plan, and his attitude changes to enthusiasm combined with an utterly unsuccessful attempt to impress her by quoting Martyn Gibson's ideas about business. His back-pedalling when she challenges the idea that profit has to be at the centre of everything as risible; she rescues him from his floundering.

At the Event in Borchester Brian enjoys a mild flirtation with Miranda over a glass of champagne until his phone rings: it is Alice.

Tony is drowning his sorrows in The Bull because not only were the hides not wanted at the tea-room, he now has them on his hands and nothing to do with them, and Pat won't have them in the house. George suggests putting them on the floor in his workshop to make the place cosy when he is out there in the winter running his trains. Tony says that's not a bad idea, then starts to laugh: after the year they've had you'd think he'd be happy that the worst problem he has is finding a home for a couple of cow-hides!

Having managed to get home before Alice got there, Brian lets her in and listens to her woes. He notices that she has been crying, although she denies it, and expresses disappointment that her day at the races seems not to have worked. She assures him that she did have a good day; it's just that she still came back to the same mess she left Harry, Fallon, Chris and one great day in Cheltenham was never going to magically make it all disappear. Brian is sympathetic. She suddenly realises that his having on aftershave and being dressed in a suit must mean that she has interfered with his evening meeting his golf friends; Brian assures her that he can see them any time and he was in two minds anyway. He invites her to come into the sitting-room, where he has just lit the fire.

Thanking Brian for her tea, Alice confides that she's not actually sure what's making her feel like this. She just wakes up every morning with the sense that the day is going to be difficult. Brian mentions that she has had some big things to deal with, but she ignores him in order to talk about not thinking Harry was The One though maybe she hoped he might have been, and it was exciting to have someone to go out with, something to look forward to that wasn't just plodding along. Brian muses that Harry was a charmer and it's no wonder that she liked him, which gives her the chance to say yet again that she should have known he was too good to be true, and now she's so much worse off than if she'd never met him. Even Fallon has had enough of her. Obligingly, Brian says he really doesn't think that's true: once Harrison knows where he stands at work she's sure to come round. Alice is not so certain, and when he postulates Fallon buying Martha the dolls' house as a reason to doubt her enmity, Alice gloomily points out that wasn't her at all, it was Harrison. Brian tries another tack: he's not saying things aren't tough, but she is handling it well; this is countered by her claiming to have messed things up with Chris too. He's confused and hurt and she's worried he'll start thinking he can't trust her with Martha. Brian wants to know if that's something he's talked about since she's been sober, and she has to admit he hasn't said that; but what if he's thinking it? He claims to believe she wasn't drinking with Harry... Oh, she doesn't know! Brian tells her that Kate would call that 'catastrophising'; Alice says her friendship with Chris is pretty fragile. Brian informs her forcefully that he knows Chris, and that Chris knows how much Martha needs her. Alice hopes so, then says that it's just when she doesn't speak her worries out loud they go round and round in her head and become huge, unmanageable. Brian nobly suggests that she could stay over, since Kate's bed is free; he has a spare toothbrush somewhere. She thanks him but declines: she's just going to head home soon. Chris has to work tomorrow so he's bringing Martha home early. She plans to take her to see the ducklings on the pond, if Brian fancies coming too? He'd love to. And now he'll walk her back to The Nest whenever she wants to go. [Good Lord, she walked from one end of the village to the other? No wonder Brian was able to get back from Borchester before she got to his house! Chris.] She demurs; he says he could do with the air. She thanks him, and says she is sorry he missed his boys' night out.

As he is walking home again Brian rings Miranda; he is expecting to have to leave a message, but she answers. She is very understanding about his apology for leaving her as he did: how is his daughter? She's very lucky to have a dad like him. Brian thanks her, and Miranda suggests that maybe they could take up where they left off and meet up some time soon; go for dinner? Brian isn't sure: work and family are fairly unpredictable at the moment. She asks him to let her know if things settle and he changes his mind: it's been an absolute pleasure spending time with him. He feels the same, but just doesn't want to let her down again.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 17th March, 2024

Kate and Alice leap to a conclusion, and Robert needs a new hobby.

Characters: Robert, Lynda, Kate, Brian, George
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Making breakfast for a very picky and difficult pair of B&B guests, Mr and Mrs Philpott, is fraying Robert's temper to the point at which Lynda, afraid their visitors may hear him fulminating, takes over the cooking and sends him out to go bird-watching and calm down.

Breakfast at Blossom Hill Cottage also has strife involved, in this case because the sausages that Brian is cooking are spitting fat into Kate's tofu scramblies. In the interest of peace Brian decides they are done and takes them off the hob, leaving it for Kate. He thinks Alice is now OK, possibly as a result of his being available for her to talk to; he's glad she reached out rather than trying to hide the fact she'd been tempted, as she would have in the past. [I didn't hear her admitting she had been tempted. Is this an example of SW non-communication? Chris.] And yesterday she had a good day with Adam and Ian. Kate allows herself a gloat about having mistrusted Harry from the start. Brian murmurs that the rest of them don't have her talent for sensing auras; Kate detects mockery, but says it would have saved Alice an awful lot of heartache. Because he has finished the margarine, Kate offers to fetch more from the shop later, then wonders where he was on Friday evening before Alice called him, since he was looking very smart when Kate went out. Brian [who used to be able to keep a lie straight. Chris] tells her it was nothing exciting: a Rotary Club dinner. He then decides to eat at the table in the sitting-room, and takes his breakfast away to have it in peace and quiet where he can spread out the paper, leaving Kate a little disconcerted by his sudden decision

Bartleby is not interested in the hay George is offering him, and Robert comes over for a chat. He has seen a sand-martin down by the Am but is not really that interested in watching birds right now, and doesn't explain to George why he can't just go home, beyond muttering that he doesn't feel hospitable enough yet. He is impressed that Bartleby keeps going; he remembers all those years ago when Joe got him and kept him tethered in the garden at Keepers, and even then he was elderly. He must be the oldest horse in the world, jokes Robert; George takes this at face value and gets excited.

Just after Alice has dropped Martha off with Chris, Kate calls to her to wait; she wants to ask her if she's all right. She would have dropped in on her yesterday but she was out all day. Alice tells her not to worry: she had a bad day but was hoping Brian wouldn't have told Kate about it. Kate is mildly affronted: she's Alice's sister and is here for her! Alice soothes her, saying she is fine now. Kate is still kicking herself for not warning Alice about Harry: she knew he couldn't be trusted, but Dad convinced her Alice was happy. And she was, Alice says, so Kate tells her that of course she was, because she couldn't see what a destructive personality he had; we never can recognise ourselves in other people, she adds blithely. [Apparently not realising how offensive she is being. Chris.] Alice is left speechless for a moment or two, then rallies to assure Kate that her wobble didn't last long, she just feels bad about having spoiled Brian's Friday evening. Oh, the Rotary Club do? No, he said he was off to Grey Gables to meet some golfing chums, but maybe Alice misunderstood. Kate remarks that Dad got very shifty when she asked him about it earlier; the two women decide he must have been lying, and it's Kate's opinion that since he has seemed to her to be perky recently, even jaunty, he complimented her on her new tie-dyed jumpsuit, and she's heard him singing to himself in the bathroom ('Start me Up' by the Rolling Stones, since Alice asks), the purplish tint to his aura suggests an upsurge in passion. Alice asks incredulously if she means a woman, to which Kate replies that she doesn't imagine it's a man. No, nor does Alice, but does Kate think that was really what he was up to on Friday? Auras never lie, claims Kate loftily, adding by way of bathos that the aftershave was pretty overpowering, too. It never occurred to Alice that he was going on a date; Kate reminds her this is their father they are talking about and it was to be expected at some point. Alice knows, but she hadn't expected it so soon; how can they be sure Kate is right?

Robert has gone with George to do some research, and has established that the oldest horse ever was sixty-two: Old Billy, who died in eighteen twenty-two. George is impressed by the age, but thinks Bartleby might be the oldest living horse. The next entry is Badger, a Welsh-Arab cross from North Pembrokeshire, who died in 2004 at fifty-one. George thinks Bartleby might be the new record-holder, but Robert points out that they don't know how old Bartleby is and have no documentation. Horse passports only came in after they got him, George says, disgruntled. Robert says it would be wonderful if they could prove it just as Linda comes into the shepherd's hut and is surprised to find them there. She wants to know what they are doing skulking in her shepherd's hut, and while Robert explains they are trying to find out whether Bartleby might the world's oldest horse, George thanks him for his help and goes off saying they are definitely on to something. She isn't pleased that Robert is there, and it turns out she has come outside to spring-clean the shepherd's hut because Mr Philpott has been offering her his suggestions on how she could improve the refreshment trays in the bedrooms. She denies that is why she suddenly has to spring-clean the hut, but Robert laughs at her, so she decides that he needs to find something new to occupy him other than bird-watching. What does he think he'd like to do?

Having run Brian to earth at home, Kate (after some argument with Alice about whether it is a good idea to do so) asks him whether he's seeing someone and that is why he has been behaving weird and singing in the bathroom. When they point out that he told them conflicting stories about Friday he comes clean and says that he was seeing someone on Friday, nothing serious, and after Alice had been over he told the lady in question that now is not the right time; he didn't want to stir up feelings about Alice's mother when she was finding things hard . Alice at once tells him that he ought to follow his own advice to her: live your life. How are they to be happy if they don't allow themselves to move on? He asks incredulously whether she means that, and when she says she really does – Kate adds that she agrees wholeheartedly, thanks for asking – he says that it's extremely sweet of them both, though it wasn't anything serious and it might be a bit awkward to rearrange. Alice exclaims that he has to: surely she'd understand? He thinks that she might, but when Kate goes one step too far as is her wont and asks who the lucky woman is, he won't tell in spite of them both wanting to know and calling him coy. Yes, they are being honest, but he doesn't even know whether she'll agree to meet him again, so let's just see how it goes.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 18th March, 2024

Chris is successful, unsuccessful and very much run after; Tracy's nose is out of joint.

Characters: Chris, Stella, Hannah, Pip, Tracy, Lynda
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Chris is on a cricket recruitment drive, trying to persuade first Stella and then Hannah (who seem to have taken Bess out for a walk together, though why is not clear) to join the team. Neither is interested, in spite of shameless flattery. Hannah congratulates him on having become Harrison's vice-captain, and he ruefully takes himself off, saying as he leaves that they can always change their minds. After he is gone Stella asks Hannah if she is all right, and accuses her of giggling and generally acting weird. Hannah thinks she was acting normal, not weird, and Stella decides she fancies Chris, which Hannah hotly denies. Pip then rings Stella to find out if she will be home soon, because there is something she has to see.

As she serves a pie to Chris in The Bull Tracy tells him that Harrison is more than welcome to have all the hassle of being the cricket team's captain, though she is slightly surprised he hasn't yet got round to asking her to be vice-captain, the position she would prefer. When Chris tells her that Harrison has already asked someone to be vice-captain, and it is him, she is put out, saying that it is typical: all boys together, same as always. The patriarchy reasserts itself fast. Chris has no idea what she is on about. She says tartly that'll be sixteen eighty-five altogether, cash or card?

Apparently it takes a while to transform a living room into a puppet theatre, which is why Stella and Hannah have to be in the kitchen whilst Pip and Rosie take over their house, though Rosie will be ready to start her performance very soon. What Pip has come for is a torch, because Rosie needs one for when Mr Prickles goes into space. Pip asks in a perfunctory way whether they mind: she tried to persuade Rosie to do it at hers, but it seems there isn't enough room for her to hide behind the sofa, and she was absolutely determined Stella had to see it. She loves her so much. Stella hands over the torch, and Pip asks how her day was, and Stella tells her it's been fine, though Brian is in a strangely upbeat mood and keeps humming to himself; he's been like it for days. Pip can't see that as a problem, but Stella reckons it is when you're trying to get work done. Still, he won't be around much tomorrow: some sort of last-minute lunch appointment. Pip feels that at least she'll be spared his relentless good cheer, which Stella describes as 'a bit disconcerting'. Pip takes the torch to Rosie, encountering Hannah in the doorway. Hannah cheerfully asks Stella how the puppet-show was; Stella tells her it hasn't started yet. She has a loads of paperwork to do this evening, and was planning to cook and then get down to it. Hannah offers to finish cooking supper, which Stella accepts after some demurral before teasing that she supposes if Hannah gets together with Chris she has all this to look forward to. Hannah is indignant, and Stella says she should just admit she fancies him: it's no big deal. Before Hannah can explain herself, Pip calls through to let Stella know that they are ready now.

Tracy is whinging to Lynda about Harrison's choice of Chris as vice-captain, and Lynda agrees with her when she says that he could have picked a woman. Tracy gives her 'the Shires' and wants to know if it was 'the house Savvy Blonk' that she asked for; Lynda mangles Sauvignon Blanc in her own inimitable [Thank God for that! Gus] way and tells her she wants a small one. Lynda bemoans the fact that the battle for women's liberation never ends. Tracy conjures her, not seriously, to tell that to Chris and Harrison; Lynda, seriously, tells her that she will, then asks after Kenton. He's getting better, according to Tracy, but still has to go upstairs to rest; as far as she knows the police are no closer to catching the owner of the dog that attacked him. She asks whether Lynda and Robert are celebrating something, since they don't often see them at The Bull on a Monday, and is told about the Philpotts, after whose departure they thought they would treat themselves with a meal out. Tomorrow, Lynda has booked Robert into a botanical water-painting class at Grey Gables. Tracy supposes that is one way of getting Robert out from under her feet, but Lynda denies this: she is thinking entirely of Robert, who finds opening their home to difficult guests quite a strain sometimes, and his usual pursuits are not the same balm for the soul that they once were. She is hoping they can find him a new hobby. Tracy recommends karaoke, which is her happy place; Lynda politely says they'll see how the painting goes first.

When Hannah creeps in to ask Stella whether the show is finally over, she gets the reply, 'If only. This is the interval.' Pip has taken Rosie to the loo, and Stella reckons it might finish around midnight, but is grateful for her supper being kept warm for her. They laugh together about the situation, but when Hannah suggests that Stella ought to say something, she feels she can''t because Rosie has put so much effort into it. Hannah tells her she could just say she needs to get on, and there is nothing wrong with being honest, which leads to Stella going back to pestering her about not being honest about Chris. Hannah finally admits she has fancied him since she first came to Ambridge, fifteen years ago. Stella is aghast, though Hannah quickly says she hasn't been yearning for him all that time. Also Hannah doesn't really want to talk about it: do they have to? Stella continues to worry at her; Hannah admits she's a bit scared because it's been so long since she was in any kind of relationship, and even that wasn't a proper one; prurient whispers from Stella extract the information that it was not with Jazzer, absolutely not. If she really must know, it was Tom, but she mustn't say anything to anyone. Anyway, it was before he met Natasha, or at least there was a bit of an overlap but his falling for the glamorous fruit-and-nut woman meant that he ended it with Hannah. She sounds a bit downcast when Stella guesses that it was only a casual thing, or was it more than that? Not for him it wasn't, according to Hannah. Stella is sympathetic, but Hannah firmly tells her is was just one more mess in a long line of catastrophic relationships by yours truly. She's just scared she'll get hurt or make a fool of herself again. Stella gently asks whether that isn't true about all relationships; Hannah admits that she does 'genuinely really really like Chris', and Stella suggests that she could get closer to him if they both join the cricket team. [Rosie is not yet back from the longest pee in recorded history. Chris.]

Lynda has taken it on herself to castigate Chris (though she tells him that it is nothing against him, of course) about having two men leading the cricket team, and what a retrograde step this is and what a bad impression it will make. She tells him to enjoy the rest of his evening and takes herself off, and Chris immediately asks Tracy what she said to her; she's been hauling him over the coals about the cricket team. Did Tracy put her up to it? He suggests that if Tracy is so concerned she should stop carping from the sidelines, and she responds that she would have done, but he's vice-captain. He sighs resignedly and suggests she should join the committee then, since they're always after new members, and in fact they are desperate for a new chair, which they haven't had since Richard stepped down last month. She tells him that now he really is having a laugh, and having to deal with that boring bunch of stiffs is one of the reasons she didn't want to be captain any more. Snidely, Chris insinuates that this means she is no longer interested in getting more women involved, and she tells him that in the team she does, where they can be seen; no-one cares about the committee. Chris gloomily predicts that Barry Symonds will end up chair, and he'll probably insist they make his pet rat team mascot. Just as Tracy suggests that Lynda would be a good chair for the committee, a message sounds on Chris's phone: it's a text from Stella Pryor, about her and Hannah having changed their minds and now wanting to join the team. Chris asks triumphantly how that is for encouraging gender equality: two more women at the crease!

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 19th March, 2024

Brian dodges a bullet, Robert really can't paint and George chases a mare's nest.

Characters: Oliver, George, Lynda, Robert, Brian, Miranda
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The name of 'the chap Joe got Bartleby from', at Overton Farm, rings a bell with Oliver. [On air, Shula had Bartleby on her hands when his unnamed owner no longer wanted him because he was too old, and Shula lent him to Joe. Chris.] At Robert's suggestion, George has found it out from Eddie, and George now plans to talk to Steve and Valerie, who have lived at the farm for the past twenty years, and see if they might have a forwarding address. George reckons that if he can prove Bartleby is the world record holder, the pony will be famous: imagine what that will do for George's clicks. He'll be a social media millionaire.

The cricket club pavilion could do with a spruce, according to Lynda: it lets the side down when seen from the drive to Grey Gables. Tracy has done her best to provide facilities for the female players but Lynda fears that without determined leadership the situation isn't likely to improve. Robert really isn't listening; he is clearly worried about the watercolour painting workshop Lynda has enrolled him in. It may be for all abilities, as she tells him, but he has no ability. Lynda thinks that is tommyrot, because he has been doing the sets for her productions for years, but as far as he is concerned Mother Goose's cottage is hardly the same as the delicate rendering of a daffodil. Lynda jollys him along until they encounter Brian, who has been for a swim and is not there for the botanical watercolour class; he recommends the outdoor heated pool as really terrific. Brian then greets Oliver, but when Oliver asks Brian how everyone is Lynda intervenes to inform him that she and Robert were just saying that Brian looks well. Brian protests, and she says he is looking younger somehow; Brian accepts Oliver's verdict that he seems in fine fettle, and then goes home to get changed: he has places to be. As he leaves he wishes Oliver good luck with his flower painting; this leads to Oliver insisting that Lynda should join the workshop as well.

Miranda is a little late for her lunch-date with Brian at Les Soeurs Heureuses, although, being a gentleman, he denies that this is the case, then says it serves him right for abandoning her on Friday night. Brian explains that the reason he changed his mind about seeing her again because his daughters told him he should, and Alice in particular was insistent that he shouldn't put his life on hold. Miranda agrees, then asks whether they should go the whole hog, which startles Brian, but all she meant was whether they should have the six-course tasting menu or stick to à la carte.

Robert's attempts to paint a helleborus don't please him even slightly, though Oliver tries to persuade him they are adequate, and at least on a par with Leonard's. To comfort the downcast Robert he congratulates him on his idea for finding out Bartleby's age, but when Lynda comes up to see how Robert is getting on the mood is blackened for him again. Her painting of primroses is judged by Oliver to be wonderfully done. She preens about the level of subtlety you can achieve with watercolour, then suggests that if Robert is lucky enough to see a hare at the Rewilding 'Maddest March Hare' event tomorrow he could paint that. Oliver seizes on this as a way to change the subject to the prospect of seeing them there tomorrow, then has to leave them because, as he says, he is a busy man. Lynda then tries to have a look at Robert's picture, which he doesn't at all want to show her. She has difficulty finding a way to praise it, and after a pause calls it a valiant effort. Robert told her so, thought she protests that it's not awful: it's a first attempt. He makes sure that she knows there is not going to be a second, and when she is reproachful tells her firmly that he means it. Painting may be her bag, but he will have to find another pursuit.

George is going to find Robert, but Oliver wants to know before he goes whether he managed to get in touch with Finn Hazledean, whom Eddie thought was Bartleby's previous owner. No, admits George, because he's moved on; he did speak to his daughter though, Kimberley. Oliver won't believe what else: Bartleby was her pony, and her dad got him for her tenth birthday on June 3rd 1991, thirty-three years ago. Oliver remarks that isn't an enormous age for a pony, but George has more to impart: Bartleby is definitely older than that, because she remembers a story about how he was stolen from his previous owner and got rescued from a gang of horse thieves. That's why he needs to see Robert: they need to find out when Bartleby was nicked. Oliver feels that Robert may be glad to see him; his day may need something to brighten it up.

Brian and Miranda are having a pleasant and flirtatious meal together at Les Soeurs Heureuses gossiping about Miranda's ex and Lilian's treatment of him, with Miranda exclaiming 'well done Lilian!' about the tale of her throwing Justin out so that he had to lodge with Brian; Miranda sympathises with Brian about that and it seems he is not the only person who has noticed that Justin spends an inordinate amount of time in the bathroom; Lilian told Brian this was something about his hair. Miranda ascribes this to most things about Justin being a careful construction: it takes a lot of work to maintain the facade. When Brian presses her to say more she protests that she shouldn't because Justin loathed anyone knowing, but very little pressure gets her to reveal that when she first met Justin he barely had two pennies to rub together: Black Monday had pretty much wiped him out, not that she knew that at the time [which would be in 1987; that would mean they were married for thirty years or so. Chris]. She only found out after they got married, which of course meant that she had to bail him out; that wasn't the only time, either. She was the one with the money; her family made it in shipping. Brian had no idea, and Miranda scoffs that of course he didn't: Justin wants everyone to think he's a self-made man, a colossus bestriding the business world. She then remembers that telling Brian any more would contravene the terms of their divorce settlement. It's why she fought him so hard: she only wanted what she was due. Brian can certainly see why Justin doesn't like people knowing. He'll be lording it up at the BL ball on Friday: just imagine if Brian brought Miranda as his partner! She offers to change her plans; she'd love to see his face. Brian supposes that too much good food and drink has addled their brains. They then realise the place is empty and it is late. Miranda suggests adjourning to her place, a short taxi-ride away, which Brian says is certainly very tempting but he thinks he should probably head home: Kate will be back soon and she will wonder where he is. Miranda at once claims that she doesn't mind at all: she has already enjoyed herself immensely. Another time, she adds.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 20th March, 2024

Robert and Oliver watch March hares, while Pip summons Stella to a mad tea-party.

Characters: Stella, Justin, Brian, Oliver, Robert, Pip
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

A report on the replanting, necessary for the Berrow Estate land after two-thirds of the winter wheat was washed out earlier in the year, is being made by Stella; she tells Justin her plans to undersow some of the spring barley with micro clover for the benefit of the soil in years to come and to help prevent erosion, and Justin gives a good impression of understanding every word she says, even adding sagely that it will get worse with more wet and warmer winters. Which brings him to why he is there: he attended a symposium about sustainability a couple of weeks ago and has decided that the BL board should include someone to address the question of hardwiring environmental responsibility into every aspect of the business, including assessment of the environmental impact of all decisions that are made. Stella applauds this in principle but wants to know what it has to do with her; Justin wants her to be their non-executive director for nature. She is surprised; he thinks that as BL's contractor she is the obvious choice. She is startled but flattered. He adds that this would allow her to spread her wings beyond Home Farm; he was thinking six board meetings a year at six hundred pounds a day. How does that sound to her? As she is about to reply Brian bounces in saying he is glad she is still there, then sees Justin and asks what he is doing there

The search for Bartleby's earlier owners led Robert to spend three and a half hours in the county archive; Oliver is most impressed by his diligence, and by the fact that he actually found a picture of Bartleby on page four of the Echo of 27th October, 1983. He did it by finding references to a notorious gang of horse-thieves operating in Borsetshire, and assuming they would have been written about in the local paper. Oliver regards this as spectacular detective work, and is even more confident now that they will spot a hare. The two men agree that there are signs of them and that they exist in the area, though Oliver thinks it most inconsiderate of them to hide in the long grass at the Rewilding. The two men decide to continue to keep an eye out for one, and if none appears they can at least watch the sun descend behind the Hassett Hills [a good trick for this time of year: the Hassett Hills are due north and a bit west of Ambridge. Chris]. Oliver asks whether the research into Bartleby's age can go further and Robert says slightly bitterly that he is better at that than at water-colouring, but he does need to find something to spark his imagination. Oliver suggests guiding at Lower Loxley, but Robert shushes him: a hare has appeared, and then another.

Brian is affronted by the implication that the contractors, ie Home Farm, are not doing their job properly, though Justin assures him that he was just telling Stella how impressed he was: Stella backs him up on that when he appeals to her, but Brian can't understand the need for her to be on the BL board when environmental matters are already part of the contract Home Farm has with BL. What is Stella going to do, check up on herself? Justin asks if he would rather have someone else checking up on them, but Brian doesn't think they need checking up on at all. Stella puts in that if her taking the rôle is going to cause friction then she won't, but Justin doesn't see why it should. Brian disagrees: has he even discussed this with the other board members? Triumphantly Justin says that he has spoken with Martyn and Glenda; equally triumphantly Brian says that it has not appeared on the agenda. Stella wants to make it clear to Brian that she knew nothing about this till now. Brian describes the whole business as a greenwash and points out that he, not Justin or the board, is Stella's boss; Justin falls back on asking Stella what she thinks, but her phone rings at this critical moment and she goes outside to answer it, leaving the two men to carry on their futile argument without her.

It is Pip on the phone, requiring Stella's attendance for dinner and wanting to know how long she will be. Stella says she will definitely be there but things are a bit crazy at Home Farm, and Pip, not interested in Stella's possible troubles, at once says 'tell me about it' and forestalls Stella doing so by launching into an account of the problems in her own day. Stella makes a suitably sympathetic noise but then says that now is not a brilliant time; Pip wants to know if she will be over soon because Rosie needs her tea and could do with an early night and hasn't been sleeping well and she'll be so sad if she doesn't see Stella. Stella says she'll be there as soon as she can and rings off.

Robert an Oliver are happily watching a pair of hares as they box, and Robert bemoans not having brought his DSLR camera; Lynda will be so sorry to have missed this. In reply to Oliver's question he says that yes, he does sometimes take a lot of photographs, but it's such a weight to lug around, especially when you can get forty-eight megapixels on your mobile phone. Oliver suggests taking it up again. Robert agrees it's an idea, but there is something else he is toying with that would most definitely fill his time: chair of Ambridge Cricket Club. This was Tracy's idea, and she is very keen for him to put himself forward; Oliver provides more arguments in favour. He hasn't yet mentioned it to Lynda, because he knows she will insist he is to do it; he appreciates her support but it's important to have one thing that is yours alone. Oliver understands that even the most devoted couples need their own space, and it makes the time you do spend together more special. The hares then take their attention again and Robert decides to give Lynda a call and find out if she can come down.

Stella says that in principle it's a fantastic opportunity and she'd love to sit on the board, but as Justin crows in triumph she adds that if Brian feels there would be a conflict of interest – she's the manager of Home Farm, and while she's there that's where her loyalty lies. Now she needs to get going. When Brian tries to delay her she suggests that she should have a think about it and discuss it with him tomorrow and see if they can find a work around. She leaves Brian to turn off the computer and lock the office, and scarpers, leaving Justin to accuse Brian of being the only thing standing in her way. Brian says it is for good reason, but Justin can't leave it alone and goes on denigrating him. Then he says there is no reason for them to fall out over it and asks whether Brian will be at the ball on Friday at Grey Gables, suggesting that he should bring someone, maybe Alice. Brian doesn't think so.

Light-hearted Brian didn't last long, Stella comments to Pip, and she hates being caught between Brian and Justin: aren't men's testosterone levels meant to fall as they get older? Pip confidently assumes she will talk Brian round, and reverts to the far more important subjects of Pip and Rosie: what is Stella doing for the Bank Holiday? Rosie wants to go to Lower Loxley because Elizabeth has got her all excited about egg-painting, and she'd love it if Stella came with them. So would Pip – sorry, obviously she would! Apart from anything else it's exhausting having Rosie on her own. Stella agrees to go as long as Rosie is not setting her up another puppet show; Pip laughs and admits that did go on a bit but at once speaks of a picture Rosie drew of herself and Stella together, which Stella actually is going to put in a frame because she told Rosie that she would. Stella then starts to make a move, explaining that it's getting late and she is out tomorrow at the cricket get-together at The Bull, but Pip says Rosie will want her to do a story: what, she didn't think she was getting to go home? Stella might be the next big thing at BL, but Rosie is the boss round here.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 21st March, 2024

In which we hear more than we really need to know about cricketing in Ambridge.

Characters: Lynda, Chris, Harrison, Stella, Hannah, Robert
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Lynda wants a word with Chris, but he gets in first, telling her she is just the woman he was looking for. This does not stop her from going on exactly as if he had not spoken. She is sorry if he feels she was pre-judging him by saying he and Harrison mustn't become complacent about where women in the team are concerned, and, ignoring him saying firmly that she was right to hold him up on it, goes on to add that as a woman herself she couldn't be expected to stay silent. She pauses to take breath, and Chris takes the opportunity to say this is why he thinks she'd be such a great chair. She is rendered almost speechless and he is able to continue: that's why he wanted to find her. At the moment there's not a single woman on the cricket club committee: imagine the statement it would make if she were in charge. Standing for chair had not actually occurred to her, but now that he has mentioned it she is clearly tempted; she suggests Tracy as more suitable, but Chris's rebuttal for that is that it was Tracy who suggested her. Linda wonders whether her being parachuted in won't ruffle a few feathers on the committee, but Chris reckons most of them will be relieved: the only candidate at the moment is Barry, so she'd probably win with a landslide. He continues to butter her up until she agrees that as the humble recipient of an honour she wouldn't want to shirk her duty. Does Harrison agree with Chris? Chris suggests she should come to the pub later and they can chat about it with him then.

At the pub, Harrison greets Hannah and Stella and is delighted they want to join the team. Stella turns down a drink for both of them, and he points them towards the couple of tables he has 'bagsied' for the meeting. Hannah is not pleased that Stella mentioned Chris when they arrived, and doesn't know why she allowed Stella to talk her into this: neither of them wants to play cricket. Stella remarks that if it helps Hannah catch Chris is will be worth while, and Hannah tells her to stop it; Stella adds that being there means she can't be held hostage by Rosie. She then apologises because that was dreadful of her, but after the puppet show and then last night when she ended up having to read three stories before Rosie would let her go.... Hannah told her, she needs to start saying no, but Stella says she should try it when Rosie is pleading with her: she's so ridiculously adorable. [A likely story. Gus.] And it's not as if she didn't know the deal when she and Pip got together. Hannah still feels they are going to have to have an honest conversation or Pip will assume it's all fine. Stella uses Chris having arrived to ignore that, greeting him loudly. Hannah offers to buy him a drink, and he accepts her offer but goes off at once to speak to Harrison. She is painfully aware, even if Stella didn't rub it in, that she came over like a stalker.

When Chris finds him, Harrison is pulling the tables together; he has only seen Hannah and Stella, and Chris adds that Roy said he'd try to make it, and Tom and Adam too. Harrison is gloomy about what is going on at work: his Federation rep can't or won't say what his chances are of keeping his job. Chris breaks it to him that Lynda might be their candidate for committee chair and starts to talk her up, but it is needless; Harrison's only real worry seems to be whether she would even be interested. Chris assures him that she is, just as she arrives in full flight, full capacity.

Stella is trying to needle Hannah about Chris, but Hannah turns the tables on her by insisting that she ought to talk with Pip about Rosie: she'll have to in the end. Rosie will be fine as long as Stella is clear how much time she can spend with her; Stella is more worried about Pip's reaction if she tells her she can only stand her daughter in small doses. However she puts it, that's what Pip is going to hear. Hannah tells her to carry on feeling emotionally blackmailed, then; that's not good for their relationship either. Stella protests that apart from this issue with Rosie, things are going really well. They are interrupted by Robert, who is looking for the cricket meeting and for Harrison.

Lynda has gone into self-promotion mode, not realising there is really very little need for her to do so. She manages to imply that if she were in charge, Grey Gables might pay to have the pavilion spruced up so that it was a more idyllic sight for their guests on the Grey Gables drive, and ties this in to a slightly woolly pep-talk about diversity and equality with particular regard to the changing facilities for women. Harrison gradually allows himself to be persuaded, though of course it's not just his decision; based on what she'd just said he'd be more than happy to nominate her. Chris at once offers to second her. She is charmed. Robert comes over and, unaware of her ambitions, puts himself forward for the position of chair of the cricket club, saying that Tracy has suggested he should.

Stella is still banging on about how much or how little time she wants to spend with Rosie and how to go about talking with Pip about this, but brings it back round to why Hannah is pressuring her about talking to Pip when she is unable to talk to Chris. The two make a deal: Hannah will march up to Chris right now and ask him for a date, and in return Stella will definitely talk to Pip about how much time she wants to spend looking after Rosie. At least then they won't have to go through the nonsense of pretending they want to be on the cricket team, Stella remarks; Hannah is very clear that if she is putting her heart on the line Stella must too.

Lynda and Robert are playing doorways: 'after you', 'no, no, after you' and so on, deferring each to the other's right to be chair. Harrison's and Chris's views on the matter clearly count for nothing at this point, and after a little while Robert suggests he and Lynda should talk about this at home. Harrison reminds them that the nomination form needs to be in before the AGM next Wednesday, and they leave The Bull bickering. Hannah now brings Chris his pint, and although he manages not to notice that she is trying to flirt with him, does arrange for him to give her some one-to-one training before he goes off to talk to Tom, leaving her to mind his pint for him. Stella immediately comes over to ask how it went, and disputes a private training session counting as a date, but Hannah still requires her to keep up her part of the deal: Hannah spoke to Chris, now she has to talk to Pip about Rosie.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 22nd March, 2024

Pip can't, and Brian won't, hear what is being said.

Characters: Stella, Pip, Miranda, Brian, Lilian, Justin
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

A busy milking-parlour may not be the best place to have a serious conversation with a busy farmer, but that is what Stella tries to do with Pip. This makes it very easy for Pip to misunderstand, deflect and finally suggest Stella should come over to Rickyard after the job in the cowshed is finished.

Blossom Hill Cottage makes a very good impression on Miranda, who thinks it is 'gorgeous'. Brian informs her it was built in the late seventeen hundreds and is almost as old and creaky as he is; Miranda responds that is ridiculous and he doesn't look old and creaky in his dinner jacket. He offers her a drink, apologising for the lack of choice unless she is a fan of Scotch whisky; she enthuses about single malt, and he is able to enthuse back about having a wonderfully fruity eighteen-year-old Speyside she may enjoy. Brian is a little apprehensive about the ball because this will be the first time Lilian has seen him with any woman other than her sister, but Miranda reassures him that Justin and Lilian can do as they please but she and Brian can act like grown-ups. Brian feels that Justin won't be happy, and Miranda gloats that he will be livid but that Brian did say he wanted to wipe the phoney smile off Justin's face after the business with his farm manager; Brian does, but it seems a little petty for him to use Miranda as part of their battles; she invites him to use away, since nothing gives her greater pleasure than watching her ex-husband squirm. She also approves the Scotch.

At the ball, Lilian is having a good time waving to people she knows while bitching about the women's dresses with Justin; she wonders if Brian really is going to come after the nonsense about Stella, which Justin minimises, saying he was amazed Brian got his knickers in a twist about it. Lilian disagrees: no he wasn't, and that was why he did it. Justin denies the accusation and starts to tell her why he invited Stella to join the board, but fails to deceive Lilian: he could have sounded Brian out rather than springing it on him, and it is surely going to take Stella away from Home Farm. Justin is unrepentant: that's for her and Brian to negotiate, and he can only do what's best for BL. Lilian knows it was because he just likes winding Brian up, and Justin humours her: fine, fine, whatever you say, darling. Then he spots Brian, and is horrified about whom he has got on his arm.

Given the tension between Brian and Justin, Stella is very pleased not to be at the ball. She and Pip are bellowing to each other again, this time because Pip is having a shower. Stella thinks she ought just to take Brian at his word: he keeps saying he is OK with it now, and she would love to be on the board, not just because of the money but for the chance to have a real influence on a large landowner like BL [BL has 1,200 acres in Ambridge; not all that large. Stella used to farm in East Anglia. Chris], not to mention that Justin is spot on with everything he says about the climate crisis, which they really should call a food and water crisis. Pip, who may not have been giving the monologue her full attention, asks Stella to pass her a towel. her contribution is to agree that if Brian is telling her to take it then she should. Stella decides she will just tell Justin she is accepting the rôle; Pip thinks 'non-executive director' sounds very exciting; Stella is so clever, but mustn't let the power go to her head. Stella now wonders if they could maybe finish their conversation; Pip first doesn't know what conversation she means and then wants it to wait: it's a Friday night and they have got the cottage all to themselves. The bedroom, says Pip suggestively, is this way.

False bonhomie seems to be the order of the evening; Justin greets Miranda with every evidence of pleasure, and Brian explains that unfortunately Alice and Kate couldn't come. Miranda gushes that Lilian doesn't look a day older than the last time Miranda saw her. Clearly living with Justin hasn't worn on her the way it did on Miranda; that or she needs to give Miranda the number of her cosmetic surgeon. Sweetly, Lilian responds that he can only do so much, which Miranda caps with a single, drawled 'indeed.' Justin laughs, then asks Brian to enlighten him: how long have Brian and his ex-wife been, er... 're-acquainted?' offers Brian. Not long. Miranda adds that it was a chance meeting at the Cheltenham Festival, which Justin at once describes as 'fortuitous' before asking where Dean is this evening; has she left him in his potting shed? It is Brian's turn to seek enlightenment; it turns out the Dean is either Miranda's gardener, qua Justin, or her landscape designer according to her. He and she were briefly entangled. Justin commiserates: no more? He's so sorry. Did she find him digging in another customer's beds? Miranda pleads total ignorance about what he did in other people's beds; she just knows she was very satisfied with what he did in hers. Brian clearly feels this has gone on long enough, and Lilian takes her cue: yes, yes, they ought to circulate. Miranda says that it's Justin's party, and he is after all the face of BL, and Lilian drags him away, though parting shots, from him hoping Miranda will bid generously at the auction that is the reason they are there and from Miranda that she is quite used to needing her cheque-book when he is around, are exchanged as they part.

Pip and Stella manage to get out of bed eventually [tonstant listener had aweady frowed up. Chris] though Stella does her best before they do to get across to Pip that while she thinks Rosie is a brilliant kid, she could get by spending a bit less time with her; she is too tentative and Pip is able to pretend not to understand what Stella is saying before deciding they have to go and fetch Rosie from her grandmother's care, and that Stella will be saying goodnight to the child and staying the night.

Brian is being slightly disconcerted as the cynosure of all eyes, though Miranda is enjoying it, when Justin comes over wanting a word with him in private. Miranda cheerfully agrees to go and keep Lilian company, and with her gone Justin wants to know what Brian is doing; Brian is gently oblivious to his meaning. They both know why Miranda is there, claims Justin, and it's not because of Brian. Brian, mildly offended, thanks him very much. Justin is saying it as a friend, something which Brian clearly doubts, when he launches into accusations against 'that woman'; Brian is not about to listen and tells Justin that he and Miranda have been getting on very well; extremely well, in fact. Justin then makes the mistake of asking Brian how he thinks Jennifer would feel about it, and Brian goes from politely amused to coldly furious between one second and the next: Justin is not to dare to bring Jennifer into this. As if Brian doesn't know exactly how she'd feel! Justin realises, and says, that he shouldn't have said that, and Brian continues: as for Miranda, she is there because Brian wants her to be. It's got nothing to do with Justin.

Lilian and Miranda are sparring, now about Blossom Hill Cottage and it having belonged to Lilian and Jennifer's mother; Miranda ripostes that Brian didn't mention that but he has talked a lot about Jennifer, which gives Lilian the opportunity to suggest that in that case she will know that he is still recovering from her loss just as Brian comes to find Miranda. Justin too comes over and enquires what Lilian and Miranda are talking about, and Miranda tells him, Brian's cottage: it's so delightful, so cosy. Justin snipes about her not being too disappointed, then, that he hasn't got a big house any more, which makes Lilian try to call him to order and Brian inquire what exactly he is insinuating. Justin is merely aware that his ex-wife has a keen interest in property; he then asks if Miranda still has the apartment in Courchevel [we were told it was a chalet during the discussion of the divorce settlement. Chris], which she has. So what if she has that interest? asks Brian: she's not the gold-digger around here. Lilian asks what that's supposed to mean, and Brian tells her it means nothing, but maybe she should ask Justin. Now, he adds to Miranda, he thinks they've shunned the dance-floor long enough: would she take his hand? She thought he'd never ask. As they make their way to the floor Lilian turns to Justin. Well? she asks, and, when he flounders about it probably being some nonsense Miranda has told Brian, wants to know what the comment was about the cheque-book, earlier. Justin angrily tells her he has no idea: Miranda just likes stirring the pot. The trouble is, Brian's falling for it. Falling head over heels, by the looks of it, muses Lilian; oh, don't, implores Justin. He can't believe Brian doesn't see what a grasping, manipulative harpy that woman is. Let's just hope it's no more than a passing fling.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 24th March, 2024

Refusals abound; one compromise is reached and one plan made.

Characters: Lynda, Robert, Harrison, Fallon, Kenton, Jolene
Credited scriptwriter:
Daniel Thurman
Director:
Marina Caldarone
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The discussion between Lynda and Robert as to which of them should stand for the position of Cricket Club Chair continues when Lynda gets back from taking Monty for a walk, with each continuing to defer to the other with ever-increasing determination. The AGM will be on Wednesday, so they need to decide by then. Their ding-dong-doorbell ringing gives Lynda the chance to issue an order to call Harrison and tell him that Robert will be standing, as she goes to answer the door.

The caller is Harrison, whom she tells not to worry about the Cricket Club chair: it's all been decided. He assumes that means she will be standing; he thinks this is great news, telling her fulsomely that she'll be perfect.

Fallon is feeding cake to her mother in the flat above The Bull, while Kenton tells them about Brian's having appeared at the BL Ball with Miranda Elliott; it seems (according to Lilian) that nobody had the first idea the two were a couple until she turned up on Brian's arm. Fallon, laughing, can't help wishing she'd been there. Jolene seems not to be listening and doesn't join in the jollity. When pressed, she says she already knew, from Lilian, and there are more important things to worry about than Brian Aldridge's love-life. Fallon excuses herself by saying that it's nice to think about something to take her mind of Harrison's impending disciplinary hearing a week on Tuesday; she has to sit that out, and worry. Kenton suggests that worrying isn't going to help. [In itself not at all helpful. Chris.] Fallon says Harrison too has been trying to distract himself, with all the cricket club stuff; Kenton did wonder why he'd volunteered, but it's probably a good idea, keeping him occupied, doesn't Jolene agree? She grunts at him, having clearly been lost in her own thoughts again. When Fallon joins in explaining to her what they are talking about she does her best to seem animated, and then Kenton and Fallon carry on without her again. When Kenton says they should all try and think positively, Jolene rouses herself to say that sometimes thinking ain't enough, Kenton. Kenton tries to argue against this, but Fallon thinks her mum is right, and then postulates that the worst might come to the worst, which Kenton thinks is a suggestion that definitely won't help, but she needs to ask something: if Harrison lost his job, would Jolene and Kenton consider lending her and Harrison some money? Jolene bluntly asks how much, and Fallon tells her, enough to see them through if he struggles finding work. They'd pay it back as soon as they could. Kenton is sure it won't come to that, but Fallon needs to know: if it did, they might be in trouble with their mortgage. Kenton assures her they'd make something work, but Jolene, showing more animation than at any point so far in the conversation, intervenes: she's sorry, but they don't have cash to spare. They can't promise what they haven't got. Fallon tries to explain, and Jolene says that she's sorry: much as they'd like to be able to help, the answer's 'No.'

The argument about whether or not Lynda should try to become Cricket Club chair is now continuing between Lynda and Harrison rather than Lynda and Robert, on the doorstep of Ambridge Hall. In the middle of it, Harrison's phone rings: it's Robert. Harrison decides to call him back, and carries on cajoling Lynda to no effect except offending her slightly by referring to her MBE as though she had wanted it rather than it being a surprise to her. She tells him bluntly that she is flattered that he has bothered to drive over on a Sunday to try to persuade her to stand, but he has had a wasted journey; his nominee for chairperson should be Robert Snell. Harrison gives up, and Lynda shuts the door on him.

Having not had instant agreement from his wife about something, Kenton is indignant and asks Jolene what on earth all that was about, speaking to Fallon like that: it's no wonder she left in a hurry. Jolene patiently tells him that Fallon understands, but he states that Jolene embarrassed her. When Jolene says that she told Fallon like it is, he grumbles that she didn't have to be so harsh. They could have offered Fallon and Harrison some reassurance, couldn't they? Jolene says they don't want reassurance, they want money, and they need to stand on their own two feet. Kenton argues that if Harrison is sacked they are going to find supporting themselves pretty tough, to which Jolene rejoins that they aren't the only ones with problems. Kenton doesn't think she appreciates the seriousness of this hearing; of course she does, she tells him, but Kenton goes on telling her about it: they are both dreading it, you can tell, and all Fallon wanted was a bit of support. Jolene assures him that she can support Fallon – just not financially. Kenton tells her that they could spare something, and she reminds him The Bull is not doing well enough. Any extra cash they've got, they might want in a hurry: does he not remember his own sudden incapacity? Or they might need the money, like when the electrics went, and if they've given it away then what do they do? Kenton guesses they'd cross that bridge when they came to it, to which Jolene protests that no, they need to be prepared. Kenton states that he doesn't want to think like that, but Jolene simply says that haven't got much choice.

Back in Ambridge Hall the argument about which of the Snells should stand for the post of cricket chair is still going on, with Lynda telling Robert that he can go phone Harrison again while she loads the dishwasher; Robert tried him just now but he didn't pick up. Robert rightly guesses that it was Harrison at the door just now, and Lynda is forced to admit that it may have been. Robert wishes she hadn't rejected the idea of being chair, when it is obvious who Harrison wants for the job. Robert finally suggests that they will both have to stand as candidates and start canvassing support, each of them advocating for the other.

Kenton has sought out Fallon to apologise for his wife, saying that Fallon's mum spoke out of turn [how very dare he? Chris] and there was no need for it. Fallon has to admit she was a bit taken aback, but points out that Jolene has been on edge for ages. Kenton thinks she is just tired; he also thinks that Fallon should turn to him if she can't turn to her mother, since he thinks of her as a daughter. [Does this mean he is about to leave for the other side of the world? Please? Chris.] He promises that if she and Harrison need it they will help in any way they can. Leave Jolene to him; he has a plan to put her in a more positive frame of mind, something right up her street. The limelight is guaranteed to lift her spirits.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 25th March, 2024

Two old nags are the centre of attention.

Characters: Jakob, George, Kenton, Jolene, Elizabeth
Credited scriptwriter:
Daniel Thurman
Director:
Marina Caldarone
Editor: Jeremy Howe

An attempt to get a freebie consultation from Jakob is somewhat successful; George shows him video of Bartleby refusing carrots, and Jakob thinks he can see problems with his teeth, but would need to look at the animal in the flesh to be sure of his diagnosis. George tells him all about Bartleby having online followers who are worried about him, and eventually Jakob agrees to come over and see Bartleby at about noon.

Kenton is exaggeratedly cheerful to Jolene when she comes down wanting her morning coffee; he immediately tells her that he thinks he knows something that will perk her up. Her coffee would do that, mentions Jolene. Better than that, he claims; he has a surprise for her. Suspiciously [since she has met Kenton before. Chris] Jolene wants to know what it is. Kenton launches into telling her about having made a special plan for an Easter Sunday event out on the green. Jolene is unenthusiastic: do they have to? He starts to explain the idea of an Easter egg hunt, but combined with a relay egg-and-spoon race. He even demonstrates the whistle he will blow at the start; Jolene would rather he hadn't. Jolene just wishes he would concentrate on getting better: he doesn't need this hassle. He explains that is why he is handing the hosting duties over to her. She simply says 'No, Kenton.' Further attempts to persuade her fail: she said no, and she doesn't want to do it. Can they please just drop it? She would like him to stop going on, and give her that coffee he promised her.

Can Jakob tell what's wrong with Bartleby? It seems that he can, and there is quite a lot to say about it. To keep his arthritis under control he now needs anti-inflammatory butes for his veteran metabolism, and in addition, he needs a special veteran pony diet: unless he has about forty-five pounds' worth of special feed and drugs a week he is not going to live through another winter. George is horrified: the Grundys can't afford that sort of money! Jakob knocks him back further: there could also be some dental work, not to mention Jakob's fee.

Elizabeth has popped into the Bull while it is quiet. She crossed paths with Robert, who asked her where he could find Freddie; Kenton explains that Robert is canvassing for Lynda among the cricket club members. Elizabeth doubts that Kenton will be playing cricket this year, then asks how he is feeling, and when told she doesn't have to keep checking up on him explains that she just wants to make sure he's not overdoing it. He promises that he won't, then adds that she should probably be more worried about Jolene right now: she's still very up and down, either on edge and really snappy, or just distant and distracted. And now, for no good reason as far as Kenton can see, she has started panicking about money. He can't figure it out. Elizabeth assumes he has tried talking to Jolene, and he tells her that of course he has but Jolene just shuts him down; he wonders if Elizabeth could try to get through to her again. Elizabeth wouldn't want Jolene to feel she was always on her back, but eventually agrees to try, in Kenton's words, to 'jolly her along a bit'. She'll pop up and see her in a bit.

Jakob is sure that between them, the Grundy family could afford to pay for Bartleby's new diet and dental treatment; George is desperate to avoid paying for anything he possibly can. He suggests that Jakob could write them a free prescription and George will put him on his channel. Jakob, incredulous, doesn't think so, and, when George speaks of free publicity, asks why he would need any. George sweeps on: he could do a series of videos looking at all the amazing things Jakob does for veteran horses... Jakob's firm 'No' cuts him short. George then suggests that when he's properly built his audience he's bound to end up with lots of pay partnerships, and if they can 'strike a deal moneywise' he promises it would only be temporary. Jakob doesn't bite: he's sorry, but that's not possible, and the focus here should be the animal's welfare not internet fame and fortune. George for some reason thinks that listing other stuff that he posts will help his case; it doesn't. Jakob pulls him down to earth; he needs to grasp the realities of the situation. Bartleby is significantly older than most ponies, and every year he's still with them is something of a blessing. According to George he's a member of the family. Jakob feels that the fact he keeps making it through the winters is pretty astonishing; George says that he told him he's a miracle horse, but Jakob is blunt: without the care Jakob is recommending he doesn't see Bartleby getting through another winter.

Upstairs at The Bull Elizabeth is visiting Jolene and, when asked if Kenton sent her, claims just to have wanted to chat. Jolene says she isn't very good company, and Elizabeth asks whether talking to someone after they had their last chat didn't help. Jolene claims it did, but it's a while ago now. The police are still looking into Kenton's case, she divulges, but when Elizabeth says she could always ask Harrison for an update Jolene swiftly vetoes that idea and says he can't get involved. He's got a lot on at the minute and it's best to leave him alone. [Does this mean Elizabeth is the one person in the West Midlands who doesn't know about the disciplinary hearing? Good gracious. Chris.] Elizabeth then speaks of Kenton having told her about the event they are organising for Sunday; neither of them can remember what it's supposed to be exactly, but the Easter Egg something, anyway. It all sounded a bit complicated, and Jolene, sounding almost cheerful now she's being snide about Kenton, comments they must wait till he starts explaining the rules. Elizabeth laughs and asks how Jolene thought she ended up upstairs; Jolene doesn't blame her. Anyway, whatever it is Elizabeth is sure it will be good fun; she assumes Jolene is hosting it? When Jolene tells her she has said no and won't be doing that, Elizabeth purports to think it crazy: Jolene is the queen of compères. [Which presumably is why we always have Kenton doing it. Right. Gus.] Jolene says she doesn't feel much like it at the minute, but after a pep talk from Elizabeth about how fantastic she would be and how Elizabeth got out of depression herself by keeping busy, decides that actually, she is good at dealing with audiences, and she isn't going to be made to feel intimidated: she doesn't want to be hiding upstairs and this is her pub. Elizabeth is delighted when she says she'll do it, she'll host this Easter Egg whatever-it's-called, and starts to lay down the rules she intends to enforce. They agree that Jolene is going to be the one who calls the shots.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 26th March, 2024

Freddie tests the Snells, George tests Jolene's patience, and one gets a blow in the balls.

Characters: Lynda, Freddie, Robert, Jolene, Kenton, George, Brad
Credited scriptwriter:
Daniel Thurman
Director:
Marina Caldarone
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Lynda has managed to find Freddie and after asking him how he is getting on in his new job [which he started in September, so not all that new. Chris] he is getting a lot from it but is not sure Vince plans to keep him on – is about to sell him the idea of Robert as Cricket Club Chair when Robert himself arrives, also looking for Freddie. They squabble politely about each other's merits, in other words the same old same old, which Freddie seems to find both boring and silly; he intervenes to ask if the position is really worth falling out over. Both Snells at once deny that they are falling out, and Lynda asks Freddie to decide on the spot who he intends to vote for and they will leave him in peace. He tells them that with both of them standing there it isn't easy, and Lynda [who has chosen to forget Barry's existence. Chris] tells him it's one or the other, while Robert says 'pick a Snell'. Freddie, now having been interrupted twice more, tells them he needs a practical demonstration, and goes away suddenly after asking them to humour him.

At The Bull, Jolene unexpectedly suggests that Kenton might have a break while she minds the bar. He tells her she looks nice, and she has clearly gone to a little effort over her make-up; she also tells him Elizabeth had some wise words and as a result she isn't going to wallow or let what happened ruin everything. Kenton is very glad to hear it, and also notices that she is wearing a new outfit, asking her to excuse the old rugby shirt and jeans; she kisses him and tells him to wait till he sees her on Sunday. She plans to wear a customised Stetson for her Easter bonnet, and she had thought of providing some musical accompaniment [Avert! Chris.], which Kenton thinks a brilliant idea. Kenton suggests they need to think about a prize, but she is on that; Kenton ignores what she has just said and muses about vouchers for omelette and chips in the Ploughman's, which Jolene describes as a bit of a damp squib: she has had a word with Roy and he is going to see if he can wangle them a free room for two at Grey Gables. [What about the other two in the four-person team? What if none of them are in a couple? Chris.] Kenton concedes that it is her event and he shouldn't interfere; he can't tell her how happy he is to see her throwing herself into this. She preens: like he said, it's right up her street.

Freddie has come back out with a cricket bat and ball, having decided to challenge the Snells to give him a practical demonstration of their cricketing ability. Quite forgetting that they are canvassing for each other not for themselves, Lynda and Robert are tricked by him into doing various exercises totally unsuited to a man of eighty and a woman of seventy-seven who has never played the game.

Back at The Bull, George tells Brad he is going to have to pay for the drinks: after chipping in for Bartleby's vet bill George has no money. Bartleby's got to be OK: George has all these followers who care about him now. George tries to bully Brad into bunking off college and coming to help him with a video, but Brad is not prepared to do that. Jolene arrives apologising: she had to go and change the Shires. She serves them a pint for George and a lemonade for Brad, but when George tells her that Brad is paying there is a snag: she says 'sorry?' and with patronising patience George tells her to 'take his money, Jolene.' She clearly isn't happy with his tone, and says 'excuse me?', which should warn him he's got something wrong, but he persists, telling her to take his money, the lad's trying to square up. Brad says that it's all right, George, and Jolene tells him it isn't; in an unpleasant voice, George wants to know what she means, as a result of which she in her turn wants to know something: who he thinks he is talking to. Lacking the sense to take warning, George raises his voice and tells her Brad is ready to pay; she reminds him that Brad is seventeen. George continues to talk down to her, explaining that's why Brad is drinking pop like a good little boy; Jolene tells him that it also means he can't purchase alcohol. Smart-Alec George thinks that the pint being for him is a gotcha, but it isn't, as Jolene tells him. George says it's mad, Jolene says it is called the law, and George, almost shouting, tells her not to get her knickers in a twist. She tells him not to speak to her like that, and when he aggressively says 'Or what?' she tells him, or he'll be out on his ear.

The testing of the Snells continues, with Freddie having difficulty not giggling aloud; each Snell in turn has to bowl to the other, and when it is Lynda's turn to bat she strikes out hard. The ball hits Freddie in the groin, though she is too squeamish to say this, and he retires to the house, hurt.

George is now shouting the odds indignantly, telling Jolene she is making a fuss about nothing; in a voice of calm reason calculated to wind George up she explains that if she lets Brad pay for booze they could lose their licence. Brad tells her they are sorry; George tells him to shut up and says that he isn't. Jolene tells him that he should be, and George wants to know why, since Brad didn't pay her. He tried to, she points out, but George says she wasn't going to take his money so what's the problem? He was the problem, says Jolene and he tells her that it is her with the issues. She's off her rocker. Right: she wants them out, both of them. Brad tries to protest, but she simply wants to know if they heard her: out. Now. Kenton arrives and asks what's going on; George tells him that his missus has lost the plot. Brad explains that he went to pay for George's pint, Jolene reminds Kenton that Brad is under age, and George continues to insult Jolene's intelligence and grasp of the situation. When Jolene says that selling Brad alcohol is breaking the law George openly jeers, and Kenton says that well, technically that's true. He then tells Jolene that he thinks they are being a bit tough on the lads, George thanks him as if the obvious has now been stated, and Kenton suggests they calm things down: George shouts that it's Jolene; Brad remonstrates, Jolene is icily furious, and Kenton suggests that George and Brad should head home. George is about to refuse, Brad says they didn't mean to cause any trouble [Oh yes George did. Chris] and Kenton continues to undermine his wife's authority, saying that George should just go home and let the dust settle. This is too much for Jolene, who tells him this isn't just a slap on the wrist, and when Kenton too addresses her by name in a minatory way says that they are both barred from The Bull, and that's final.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 27th March, 2024

She who complies against her will, is of her own opinion still; and George is still a git.

Characters: Bartleby (snorting), George, Chris, Emma, Jolene, Kenton
Credited scriptwriter:
Daniel Thurman
Director:
Marina Caldarone
Editor: Jeremy Howe

George has persuaded Chris to come along, in his capacity as Bartleby's farrier, and make a video for George's channel about that aspect of equine care. Chris has put on clean jeans and shirt for the occasion, and George tells him what is wanted of him: nothing complicated, just explaining to camera about some of the work he does for Bartleby. Chris is just not used to this kind of thing, and George assures him he'll be fine and that it's not difficult. After explanation of how it's done, and before they get started, Chris just wants to ask George about something; George assumes it's his being barred from The Bull, and Chris snorts with laughter: Emma did mention it: he got an earful from her earlier. George lies about it, as might be expected: he was 'only sticking up for myself'. Chris recommends that he personally would watch his step at the best of times with Jolene, and she has ben quite tetchy lately. George sulkily says that's not his problem and it's totally unfair; he's going to drink elsewhere till it's sorted. Chris, reverting to the subject on his mind, tells George that it was the cricket team he wanted to talk to him about. George, who is happy to talk about himself and take favours from other people, isn't interested in Chris's ideas or in doing him a good turn. Chris thinking that George and Brad might join the team is clearly a non-starter: cricket is for losers, according to George. Chris thinks that actually, if he does this filming, George owes him one.

Emma is trying to convince Jolene how unfair Jolene has been, and Jolene really isn't interested in listening to her when Emma is clearly not prepared to hear anything Jolene may say. Since Emma was not there when George insulted Jolene repeatedly, and has only been prepared to accept George's account of the conversation, it's clear there is unlikely to be a meeting of minds; Jolene just wants to get ready to open the pub and can do without Emma going on at her. She points out that Emma should be at the tea-room. Emma tells her that Emma needs to talk about this; Jolene has already had Tracy, and doesn't, but Emma feels Jolene can't blame them. Jolene makes it clear that the problem is not with them, but Emma says that George and Brad are their sons, and they're barred. Jolene tells her that she knows why, and Emma claims [not having been there or heard any of it. Chris] that they did nothing wrong. Brad never paid for any alcohol, she says, conveniently forgetting George; Jolene hasn't and asks her what about George's back-chat? She isn't having anyone intimidating her in her own pub. When Emma says they were upset, Jolene sarcastically suggests that she supposes that gives them the right to behave how they want, and Emma's rejoinder that they were just defending themselves gets the quick reply that they were out of order. Emma tells Jolene that George is no longer like that: he has really grown up and he's got his head screwed on. She wants Jolene to be fair and let them back in. They shouldn't have been barred at all. Jolene finally reminds her that she wasn't there, and Emma says she has heard it all from George; Jolene remarks that she refuses to listen to Jolene and Emma says that's because Jolene is wrong. Jolene tells her that she makes the rules and she decides who gets to drink here, which Emma at once decides is really unfair. Kenton then comes downstairs, complains about the noise the two are making, and joins in, failing to support his wife at all. Emma turns thoroughly nasty in the way she talks to Jolene, and then appeals to Kenton to take her side, with a bit of special pleading about how people have been picking on George, like Helen, and Hannah at Berrow [each of whom was utterly justified in her dislike of George, as Emma doesn't know because again, she was not there. Chris], and how he has really turned a corner. Kenton is glad to hear it. Jolene angrily tells her not to drag Kenton into this, and Emma informs her that it is his pub too. Jolene is firm: she imposed the ban, and she intends to enforce it. If Emma has a problem with that, she knows where the door is.

After a slow start, Chris takes over George's interview with him and does very well. George is put out by this, but can't very well complain when Chris is doing what he wanted him to, and more besides, though the 'farrier's humour' is dire.

Emma having taken herself off, Kenton wants to have a word with Jolene, and wants to know what's going on. He claims to be struggling to keep track of her moods. Yesterday, one minute she was excited about plans for Easter Sunday, the next she's having a right old barney with the customers. [With a customer, Kenton; you might need to look no further then who that customer was for the explanation you are seeking. Chris] Jolene mentions that she thinks he will find George and Brad were having a barney with her, but he puts the blame squarely onto her: she could have diffused [sic. Chris] the situation. She tells him that she didn't want to: she wanted them to know that she wouldn't be walked over. This is her pub, her home; she isn't putting up with it. They don't need people like that in there. Kenton, bewildered, asks, 'Like what?' and Jolene tells him, 'Bullies.' Incredulously, Kenton tells her that Brad is not a bully, but Jolene reiterates what she has already said: she won't be intimidated, not by George, not by Brad, nor by Tracy and Emma come to that. Kenton asks her whether this is really about them, and tells her that what happened a few weeks back was traumatic for all of them, and she knows he he was feeling, but thankfully he's been able to get past it, and the more time that passes them more he feels life returning to normal. They have to remember it was just a one off and they are not under any threat. 'You reckon,' says Jolene with emphasis. Kenton suggests that surely it's time to move on. They should focus on the fact that things are pretty much as they were before: they are back at The Bull, surrounded by customers they know and staff they trust. There's really no point in alienating anyone. He doesn't just mean George and Brad: Emma and Tracy were fuming. Jolene's reaction to that is that they need to teach their kids some manners. That said, though, Kenton certainly doesn't want her to ever feel walked over, so how about this: if Brad and George apologise, would she be prepared to let it go? Jolene instantly says they'd have to mean it. Kenton agrees; what does she say? 'If you say so, Boss.' That's more like his Jolene; she is rewarded with a kiss.

Emma wants George to tell her about the filming with Chris, and he complains that now he has put it up, all that his follower are talking about is how fit and handsome the farrier is. Nothing about him. Emma laughs, but George doesn't think it's funny: he and Bartleby should be the focus. Emma thinks he should put another video up; first he's going to take Chris's down. Emma just says, 'Oh, honestly,' in a resigned voice, as she probably has a thousand times before about some behaviour or other of George's, then says that she reckons she can cheer him up: she's just had a text from Kenton saying that Jolene has agreed to let George and Brad back in The Bull. Only there's one condition; she wants an apology. In that case she can whistle, George says at once: tell her that it's her that should be apologising to them! Emma knows Jolene went over the top, but she wants George to swallow his pride. He asks what sort of advice that is, and she tells him she's had to; he tells her that in that case she's a loser. She doesn't take that well: less of the lip. She wants this put to bed, and that means being the bigger person. He wants to know why he should, and she tells him he doesn't need more bad press; he's doing well, and it shows people round here he's got some initiative. George says he doesn't care what people think; well, Emma does. Angrily he says that in that case she can apologise, but she hits him where it hurts: if he doesn't do this, she swears she'll cancel his phone contract. She means it: no apology, no phone. He protests that she can't do that, and she just replies, 'Watch me.' He wails that he needs his phone, without it he can't make his videos, and she tells him there is only one thing to do, then: say sorry to Jolene.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 28th March, 2024

George won't apologise, Hannah sees no need to, and Robert doesn't believe the police can do their job.

Characters: Robert, Jolene, Lynda, Emma, Brad, George, Hannah
Credited scriptwriter:
Daniel Thurman
Director:
Marina Caldarone
Editor: Jeremy Howe

A triumphant Robert tells Jolene she is looking at the next chair of Ambridge Cricket Club, and Jolene duly congratulates Lynda, who cannot understand how this has happened: she fought valiantly on Robert's behalf! But, Robert tells her, The People of Ambridge Have Spoken. Just as he is about to order a celebratory meal, Emma apologises for interrupting and asks Jolene whether George has been in yet. He hasn't. Emma says he'd been going to drop in on his way to nets practice in Borchester; Robert is interested to hear George has joined the cricket club, and Emma explains that his uncle strong-armed him into it. Jolene tells Emma that she's about to put a food order in for the Snells; it will be on the house, with a bottle of wine thrown in. Robert thanks her for her generosity and Jolene says that it's the least she can do after all they did for Kenton.

On his way to bag a table, Robert bumps into Brad and George and asks how George's researches about Bartleby are going before telling the lads he's heard they are joining the cricket team. George wants to know who told them that, Brad interjects that it's just nets, and George is most emphatic that they have not committed to anything. Robert nevertheless cannot resist the opportunity to introduce the pair to the club's new chair… Brad offers his congratulations and prods George out of his rather pointed silence, eliciting a surly 'Nice one. Lynda.' Lynda, drags Robert away before things can become any more awkward. Awkwardness immediately reasserts itself, however, as Jolene asks 'Well?' in menacing tones. There's a whispered consultation before Brad asks whether now is a good time. That, Jolene intones, depends on why they are there. Brad launches into a seemingly sincere apology for earlier in the week: it won't happen again, really. Jolene thanks him; and what about George? Brad encourages him to just say it. Sullenly, George says he is sorry Jolene got the wrong end of the stick... As Jolene remains loudly silent, Brad urges him just to say sorry. This time, George is sorry Jolene jumped to conclusions. In that case, Jolene tells them, Brad is most welcome to drink (soft drinks, she emphasises) in The Bull at any time but until he decides to apologise properly, 'Mr Grundy' is still barred. As if he's fussed, George mutters and then, in response to Jolene's 'No?' and Brad's alarmed protestations, shares his opinion that The Bull is a right hole. Jolene advises him to listen to Brad but George points out that he has nothing to lose, since she won't let him drink there and Jolene, departing, counters that he wouldn't want to anyway – which is, of course the perfect cue for Emma to join them and ask what has happened. George tells her Jolene has chucked him out again even though he said 'sorry'- but now he's got to go. Brad says goodbye to Emma and apologises: it's all kicked off! What's kicked off? Emma enquires of her retreating son, but gets no answer.

Robert proposes a toast to the new chairman and Lynda, clearly more aware than he of what has been going on, quashes his curiosity about the brevity of Brad and George's visit to the pub with an emphatic 'Nets!' then turns the subject to their quest for a hobby for Robert. Learning an instrument, specifically the mandolin, is mooted, as is a new language, but neither appeals. Robert is sure a hobby will present itself eventually, and both switch their attention to appreciation of the wine and Jolene's generous gesture, which turns into a discussion of how Jolene still doesn't seem to be herself. Lynda feels that no arrests having been made must be torture for her. Robert wonders if there is anything they could do to help.

Jolene is rightly sceptical when Emma tells her she isn't looking for a fight: what did George tell Emma anyway? That he'd apologised and that Jolene threw him out again anyway, according to Emma. Jolene tries to explain that if he'd made a proper apology, she would have been happy to let him back in; after all, Brad managed it. Emma's unimpressed. Jolene wants them to be able to find a way of burying the hatchet and working together without tension; Emma's reckons that's going to be a bit difficult – and she's not going to be working there. She's handing in her notice. Jolene tries to give her room to think again by saying they can't do this now as Robert and Lynda are staring, but Emma, after shouting to the Snells that their food's coming in a minute, is not to be put off. She'd have been leaving because of the tree surgery anyway. Jolene tells her she's a valued member of staff and begs her not to do it like this, but Emma is not mollified. She'll work her notice but after that, she's done.

At net practice, George is mocking the team's endeavours, chuckling and describing them as a bunch of saddoes with no coordination. Brad wants him to stop filming and put his phone away, but George maintains no one is watching them. Anyway, George is just having a laugh; surely Brad's got to admit it's pretty hilarious: Stella's missed every ball so far, and Hannah closes her eyes every time the ball comes near her. As Brad continues his ineffectual protests, Hannah comes near them, asking 'What's the matter, boys?' George assures her they are just trying to pick up some tips – and if he is filming them, well, it's only to study her brilliant technique: he had no idea she was so talented. Pointedly, Hannah asks why the lads don't join them, but George claims not to be in Hannah's league yet and to feel too intimidated to have a go himself. Telling George to grow up, Hannah rejoins the practice while Brad, after calling out an apology, chides George, asking why he can't stop provoking people all the time. George tells him that despite what Chris may think, they aren't just there to spectate: this is going up on his channel later. People like a bit of funny stuff mixed in with the Bartleby content. There is the sound of a muted snick, almost entirely unlike that of a cricket ball knocking a mobile out of someone's grasp, and Brad asks if 'it' hit George's hand. George asks Brad if he can see where his phone is – he's dropped it. Brad can, but George isn't going to like it… He doesn't, wailing that his screen is smashed; he can't use it like this! Who whopped that ball over here? Hannah comes over to ask if everyone's all right; she's really sorry about that. 'Hannah', George snarls under his breath; of course it was her!

As they enjoy their puddings, the Snells note that after the altercation with Emma Jolene has gone upstairs and not returned and continue to cast about for Helpful Things To Do. Apparently Kenton has assistance for the Easter Sunday event in hand, so that's no good. Poor Jolene, she's really had a packet this year. Robert reiterates that the police catching the thugs responsible for Kenton's injuries would go some way to putting her mind at rest. Lynda doesn't expect anyone will be brought to justice now: they'd have heard if there had been any progress [Given Harrison's standard of professionalism, she's probably right for once. Gus]. Robert, though, is sure there must be some evidence in existence, and queries whether the police have checked all the CCTV and speed camera footage. Reasonably, Lynda thinks that would have formed a routine part of the investigation, but Robert seizes the notion that the police might have overlooked doorbell cameras on the way out of the village: that needs following up. But, rather than raise it with Harrison as Lynda suggests, Robert sees this as an opportunity to reassure Jolene by making enquiries himself.

There are raised voices at the nets practice, with George claiming Hannah has always had it in for him and hit the ball at him on purpose and Hannah maintaining it was an accident: does he think she has the skill to have done it deliberately? George says he knows what game she's playing and is told it was cricket, last time she looked. This makes Brad snigger, only serving to infuriate George further, as does Hannah telling him to be grateful it was only his phone rather than his big mouth. Hannah's going to have to buy him a brand new phone, George tells her. Hannah makes it clear he won't be getting a penny out of her. Her parting shot is that he can get the screen fixed: a lad who spends so much time on his phone really should have it insured. George tells Brad Hannah's not getting away with this, she's going to pay, with an intonation suggesting a more than financial dimension. He will join the team, and is going to interval training tomorrow. Brad asks why, and George spells it out for him: to mess with Hannah Riley.

Summarised by Gus

Friday 29th March, 2024

Team spirit is sadly lacking and there's too much of the community kind for Jolene's liking.

Characters: Hannah, Chris, George, Robert, Lynda, Jolene
Credited scriptwriter:
Daniel Thurman
Director:
Marina Caldarone
Editor: Jeremy Howe

At their one-to-one coaching session, Hannah says to Chris that Harrison is already pushing the team hard; Chris reckons their captain is determined they are going to win and, when Hannah reckons police work ought to be enough to keep him busy, adds that everyone needs an outlet. When Chris says he's grateful for the exercise, Hannah assures him he's in fine shape and looks fit. As she is clarifying that she meant 'healthy' [yeahright. Gus], they are greeted with a cheery 'Afternoon'. George hopes he's not interrupting anything - Hannah looks a bit flushed - but he's just reporting for duty. Chris updates her: George is joining the team and enjoyed nets so much that he wanted to come to interval training too. Hannah is surprised he is so keen given that his phone got smashed, but George says that was an accident that could have happened to anyone. Chris applauds his attitude: he had been afraid there might be friction between George and Hannah. Both deny this, as Chris mentions what he heard from Neil about their working relationship: he needs team players. George expresses the snide hope that he will be more use than he was at Berrow; Hannah, equally snide, counters 'wouldn't that be nice?' Both then exaggeratedly agree with Chris's painful platitudes about team spirit, with the result that he suggests they partner up for interval training. Hannah attempts to decline, but when George says it's a great idea of Uncle Chris's she goes along with it.

Robert tells Lynda he's popping out. Not more doorbell camera enquiries, Lynda protests. Robert concedes the police had already checked those, but people are keen to help and he feels there's no harm in taking a second look. The pair agree it's no wonder Jolene is so unsettled, with the unarrested miscreants potentially still a threat. Robert, determined to Make Himself Useful, is keen to research ways to prevent further crime. Lynda reminds him they have a Neighbourhood Watch, but this is dismissed as pretty ineffective. He plans to walk around the village identifying security weaknesses. Lynda admires his persistence but can't help worrying: she doesn't want him to get mixed up in any bother. In the end, she decides to accompany him.

Hannah is laughing, while George struggles to breathe. He suggests she go on but Hannah says Chris wants them to train in tandem so she will wait for him to recover. George maintains he's fine but Hannah reckons were it not for that tree he's propped up against he'd be on the floor [sic]. Bolshily, George tells her to stop staring; he thinks he's aggravated an old sporting injury. From the way he's holding his side, Hannah reckons it's a stitch. George angrily denies this so Hannah doubles down on her theory, which is as well received as one might imagine. When George reminds Hannah she said resting was part of interval training she points out that everyone else rested for about thirty seconds, whereas George's break has been 65 seconds and counting thanks to his stitch, sorry, 'sporting injury'. He says he is recovered and ready to go; Hannah begins to count to three, but George goes on 'one', exhorting the furious Hannah to keep up.

During their patrol, it becomes evident that Robert is somewhat obsessed with security and the need for vigilance. Lynda is reluctant to have Ambridge turned into Fort Knox, but Robert reminds her there are unscrupulous people out there, and worse. He wants to see an increase in vigilance and for the villagers to be more alert. Lynda thinks that has happened naturally as a result of the dog attack, but Robert says a drift back to complacency doesn't take long and it's his job to ensure that doesn't happen. Ever. Lynda wonders whether he is getting carried away: what would happen were he to encounter one of these undesirables? He claims he doesn't want to be a vigilante; Lynda reminds him neither did Kenton – and look what happened to him. Robert says he just wants to do his bit for the village, before the truth comes out. He couldn't protect Lynda from Phillip Moss, and that failure haunts him. Maybe if the 'community' had been more vigilant they could have prevented the abuse of Blake and what happened at Grey Gables, to Lynda… Lynda gently tries to convince him he was not at fault, but Robert's memories of her fear and vulnerability clearly run deep: he doesn't ever want to see anyone made to feel like that. Seeing Jolene's anguish now is why this is so important to him. Lynda is understanding and asks him just to be careful, at which point Jolene greets them.

Chit-chat ensues and Jolene tells them she was nipping to the shop; the Snells don't want to detain her. But she wants to apologise for the upset last night with Emma: she hopes it didn't spoil their meal. Lynda disclaims and thanks her again for her generosity, and Robert says they understand why things are a bit fraught. Since the attack on Kenton, Jolene says, it's been one thing after another. This is Robert's cue to tell her he intends to help put her mind at rest by seeing Kenton's attacker brought to justice. Sorry? Jolene asks, sounding not at all pleased, as Lynda confirms Robert's intentions.

Interval training is over but George and Hannah continue to snipe at one another, with George claiming he 'won'. Hannah reminds him it was training, not competition, which George interprets as her being a sore loser. If anyone is a loser, Hannah says, it's him. Then Chris comes to ask how they got on, and George, with great emphasis and insincerity, tells his Uncle that Hannah's a great training partner. Chris says he thought they were working well together, prompting some smarmy guff about teamwork from George, with which Hannah is forced to agree. Chris then compliments Hannah on her speed and endurance, thanking them both for coming before leaving to catch Harrison. With Chris out of earshot, Hannah taunts George about having a way to go before he matches her fitness level – he heard Chris! George retorts that the praise must have been all the more special, coming from him. Hannah pretends not to understand but George tells her it's obvious she's well into Chris, what with the puppy dog eyes – not that Uncle Chris would ever look twice at her. Hannah's heard enough. It would be proper embarrassing if Chris found out about Hannah's little crush, George muses; it could make being on the cricket team awkward. Hannah starts to tell him he's a spiteful little -, but George is already leaving. 'Luv ya', he calls as she snarls with frustration.

Lynda prompts Robert to tell Jolene about his idea to look again at the doorbell cameras. Jolene forbiddingly interjects that the police have done that, but Robert thinks something could have been missed. Jolene says again that it has all been looked at and tries to convince them that everything has been checked and that there is no need for the Snells to involve themselves, and she fails to hide her alarm when it becomes clear that Robert has already been in contact with camera owners and is waiting to hear from them. Horrified, Jolene protests: people shouldn't be doing that – it's too much trouble! Robert reminds her people know what happened to Kenton and want to help. They're doing this for everyone's sake: all Ambridge will sleep more soundly if The Culprits are Apprehended. Jolene doesn't want to seem ungrateful, but… The Snells brush off her warning that it's too dangerous. Robert has promised Lynda he won't put himself in harm's way. He just wants to be able to point the police in the right direction, then the whole matter can be put to rest. Lynda tells Jolene all they want is to reassure her. Spectacularly unreassured, Jolene tells them she just wishes they would forget about it – they don't understand! Impervious to her distress and telling her this is a community, Robert and Lynda make a few more unwelcome remarks about identifying the suspects and depart, assuring Jolene that they have her back and not to worry. Robert promises they will catch them. That, Jolene mutters darkly as they finally leave, is what's worrying her.

Summarised by Gus

Sunday 31st March, 2024

Maybe Chris Carter had fun; no one else does least of all the listener.

Characters: Lilian, Fallon, Harrison, Jolene, George, Eddie, Miranda
Credited scriptwriter:
Daniel Thurman
Director:
Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

On the green, Lilian and Jolene are cackling at Martha's attempts to steal Easter eggs from under the raffle table. As the greedy child is foiled by Susan, Harrison asks what they are giggling about; they assure him there's no need for an arrest. He says 'Easter Egg-and-spoon Egg Hunt Relay Race' is a mouthful. Lilian agrees; it was Kenton's idea, but she and Jolene have to implement it. Fallon's still confused about the rules, so Lilian has another shot at explaining: the relay teams of six must collect chocolate eggs from around the green without dropping the hen's egg from their spoons. Harrison asks if that means it's six in a bed at Grey Gables, but no: that's an individual prize. Fallon greets her mother and Harrison tells her there's a real buzz on the green, but Jolene is determinedly downbeat. Grimly, Jolene wishes Lilian luck with explaining the rules, and Fallon is inspired to ask Harrison if he wants to race. He's reluctant, and they don't have a team, but Lilian and Jolene helpfully vouchsafe that 'the Horrobins' are only four-strong and Fallon drags him off to the cake stall to join them. Lilian tries to bolster Jolene: the event's huge a success, and her opening speech was great. But Jolene isn't feeling it, frets about The Bull being short-staffed, and asks Lilian to take over the mic for the race. Lilian demurs, reassuring Jolene that Emma quitting isn't a big deal. She is happy to cover shifts herself until a replacement is found: they'll manage, so there's really nothing for Jolene to worry about.

George tells Eddie he means to win this race. That's the spirit, says Eddie, as George adds 'to stick it to Jolene Archer'. He'll be sticking it to Hannah Riley too, for leaving him out of pocket over the smashed screen. Idiotically, Eddie sympathises about the pub ban and the phone and, emboldened, George says he's going to stick it to Uncle Chris as well: his followers are calling the video of Chris a thirst trap! [Look it up; I had to. Gus.] Eddie reckons George's 'team of young lads' will storm it. George says his main reason for wanting to win is the night at Grey Gables: he'll tell Tilly Button it's his birthday and ask her to celebrate with him. Eddie's only reaction to this ludicrous idea is to remind George that it's Keira's birthday next Saturday, with a big family lunch on the Sunday. Him and Tilly wouldn't be going next weekend, George explains; that's too soon. Eddie hopes George triumphs; in fact, he has a suggestion which might improve his chances. Is that gum he's chewing?

Harrison appreciates Fallon's efforts to distract him but he can't stop thinking about Tuesday. She knows, and understands. He just wants people to see he's a good sergeant, which Fallon assures him he is. He's afraid that his explanation won't be listened to at the hearing, or that they will think he is too much of a liability. Fallon reminds him that Harry has promised to speak up for him. Harrison doesn't place much faith in the reliability of alcoholics and, since he and Alice are no longer together, reckons Harry doesn't have much to gain. Fallon's optimistic assurances are cut short as Jolene (not Lilian) asks the teams to gather for the start of the race.

Lilian tells Jolene there's a good crowd on the starting line and that George Grundy clearly means business. Jolene had already clocked that, but Lilian reckons there's no harm in a little friendly gamesmanship. Anyway, Jolene should be basking in the glory [sic] after all her hard work. Jolene maintains she is Fine. Lilian assures her they are going to have fun but Jolene meaningly warns her not to bank on it, just before Miranda greets the pair with ill-feigned delight. She recognises Jolene from The Bull, she says, adding 'fabulous hat'. Lilian assumes Miranda is there with Brian and is told he's just gone to buy her some raffle tickets. Miranda wonders if Lilian is on hosting duties and is told that Jolene is the mistress of ceremonies – Lilian is merely her glamorous assistant. So where's her Stetson, Miranda asks. Hastily, Jolene says they'd better get a move on. Lilian concurs: although she would love to stand there chatting, they've a race to adjudicate.

Sabrina has dropped her egg. Over the tannoy, Jolene tells her she has to return all her chocolate eggs and rejoin her team; if anyone has a problem with the rules, they can take it up with Kenton. Lilian, who has been enthusiastically backing Jolene up sans tannoy, notes that George Grundy seems to have a very successful technique. Isn't Jolene suspicious of his prowess? Lilian thinks he's cheating. After a long blast on her Klaxon, Jolene announces a void round. George is indignant – that was nowhere near three minutes! As Eddie and George protest, Jolene orders everyone back to the start and Lilian tells Eddie cheating will not be tolerated. Who's cheating? Well, Lilian suspects it's George. Eddie pretends outrage at the suggestion as Jolene announces her glamorous assistant will be checking George Grundy's egg, which is looking suspiciously steady on that spoon.

Harrison would rather head home than take up Tracy and Jazzer's invitation for a drink; he's trying not to stress, he tells Fallon, but even if Harry does back him up, what if the Police Standards barrister brings up him breaching confidentiality to Kirsty? It was his fault Phillip Moss found stuff out about Blake. Fallon reminds him he didn't get an official sanction for that, but Harrison is aware it will look as if he's got form [which he has. Gus]. Given the evidence, he can't believe it won't end badly. Fallon tries to halt his catastrophising, but he asks what they would do for money. If it came to it, Fallon tells him, Kenton has said he would help them out. Harrison decides Fallon having asked Kenton means she thinks he will lose his job. She disclaims: she just had a vulnerable moment, and there's no point in guessing what will happen. One thing's for sure, though: she will be right by Harrison's side. ['You know what, Mary? You're just a gol-darned jinx!' Gus.]

It's prize-giving time on the green and Eddie tells George, who doesn't think he can stomach watching, that it's a travesty. The individual prize, the stay at Grey Gables, goes to Chris Carter, and Eddie tells George he was robbed. George puts it down to spite on Jolene's part, and Eddie assures him that had she not taken the gum off his spoon George would have sailed to glory. George asserts he still did all right, and who's Chris going to take to Grey Gables anyway? He's definitely better off without Alice, George reckons, but he's got no one else… Jolene moves on to announcing the winner of the raffle, renewing optimism in the Grundy breasts as they hear that the bottle of Lower Loxley bubbly will go to the holder of a green ticket. Eddie has a green ticket, but not, it transpires, the right one, number 268. It is not only Grundy spirits that fall at this point: the winner is Miranda Elliot. Lilian voices hollow congratulations and disparages the prize – just some local sparkling wine – as Miranda gushes that it is a lovely surprise. She'll look forward to sharing it with Brian. Lilian observes that he's more of a whisky man, but Miranda is sure she can tempt him. Tiring of the fun, Miranda thanks Lilian, and Jolene, for a lovely afternoon: she's really been made to feel like one of the community and looks forward to being a more frequent visitor, particularly to The Bull. As Miranda departs, Lilian tells Jolene she's sorry, but there's a change of plan and Jolene will have to persuade Emma to come back after all as Lilian cannot face serving that woman. Jolene is irritated by Lilian's change of heart. One minute she tells her Emma leaving was fine and the next minute, she's got to get her back? Lilian attempts to soothe Jolene by telling her again what a triumph the day has been but Jolene doesn't care; she's exhausted and just wants some peace.

Summarised by Gus

Monday 1st April, 2024

Justin tries to warn Brian, while Emma and Robert are fearful for Jolene.

Characters: Brian, Miranda, Jolene, Emma, Justin, Robert
Credited scriptwriter:
Daniel Thurman
Director:
Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

At Blossom Hill Cottage Brian is pleased Miranda stayed over. She couldn't have driven after that bottle of bubbly anyway, she says, but no, that wasn't her only reason. Brian tries to dissuade her from getting up: he's not seeing the family until lunchtime and they should make the most of having the place to themselves. Haven't we already? she asks. Miranda is concerned Kate might come back early, but Brian's heard she and Jakob were having a wonderful time in Bath and thinks it unlikely. Mutual assurances of having a wonderful time too follow, and the pair discuss reactions to their coupledom. Brian enjoyed seeing Lilian give Miranda the raffle prize; Miranda reckons she nearly combusted. Brian's glad they can still create a stir at their age. Miranda hopes Justin won't keep trying to stick his oar in and is worried he will try to put Brian off her. Brian projects general unputoffability and says Justin and Lilian will get over it, not that he cares if they don't, and that he is looking forward to spending more time with Miranda.

Jolene's glad Emma's prepared to talk and suggests the Ploughman's for privacy, asking Emma to hear her out. Emma says she's not going to change her mind, which prompts Jolene to 'hold her hands up' to being too tough on George: she overreacted, and is prepared to set an expiry date for George's ban. Really? asks a sceptical Emma. But it's not about that, she tells Jolene: she decided to leave because of all the tree-surgery stuff. In desperation Jolene suggests changing the rotas to fit in with Emma's other commitments, but Emma is adamant: she needs to put all her energy into the new business.

Justin is disappointed Brian won't join him for a round of golf, but Brian has plans for the afternoon. When asked, he reveals that this means lunch with Adam, Ian and Xander. Justin checks it will be 'just the four of them'. He declines an offer of tea but has to ask: that smell? There's a familiar scent in the room. He pooh-poohs Brian's suggestion of scrambled eggs; it's perfume – Miranda's perfume [Tut, Elliot. I think you must mean 'scent'. Gus]. Is he right? Quite possibly, says Brian. He reassures Justin that Miranda isn't on the premises, but they did have breakfast together. And dinner. Is he telling Justin she was there for the intervening period? Brian needs to take it from him: he's playing with fire. Miranda is extremely bad news and Justin would rather Brian didn't find out the hard way; she might be all sweetness and light at the moment, but that hides a malevolent soul. Drily, Brian assures him he will bear that in mind. Justin protests he is just trying to do Brian a favour, which Brian makes it clear he finds hard to credit. Justin urges him to save himself before it's too late. In all honesty, Brian tells him, he doesn't see how this is any of Justin's damned business.

Jolene is still trying to win Emma round: there must be something that would swing it. Free meals? What can she say to convince her? As Emma reiterates her refusal, Robert enters to a muttered 'oh no!' from Jolene; Tracy sent him through. He's not there as a customer but to let Jolene know he's heard back from all the doorbell camera owners. Jolene reminds him she asked him not to pursue this, but Robert says he'd already put out the request. Unfortunately, he continues, everyone drew a blank. Robert is disappointed and knows Jolene will be too but he wants to reassure her he still has other ideas for identifying Kenton's attacker. Deaf to Jolene's protests, he urges her to leave it with him. She's telling him not to; does he understand? Emma tries to escape, but Robert demurs: he's had his say. She has too, Emma chips in, as Jolene beseeches them to please stop. Breaking down in tears, she asks them both to leave, which they refuse to do: how can they when she is upset, Emma asks, and both she and Robert begin probing as to what is the matter.

Chez Miranda, Justin acknowledges that Easter Monday might not be the most convenient time to have called. Miranda observes that it is also April Fools' Day, and thus quite fitting. His pretext is that he and Lilian were thinking of a camping holiday and that he has an idea Miranda got custody of the tent in the divorce. Miranda is incredulous: he wants the tent for him and Lilian? Justin persists: has she still got it? No; was that it? Since he's here, Justin says, it might be a good time to discuss Miranda and Brian. What exactly does he want to discuss, she asks, and he retorts that she knows what his feelings are. Miranda would like him to spell them out. He wants her to stop 'this nonsense' with Brian, Justin blusters; she clearly started this ridiculous affair just to wind him up. Miranda asks why she would do that. Justin claims not to want Brian used as a pawn in Miranda's game. She counterclaims that she is 'very fond' of Brian, and doesn't Justin think he has matured rather well, like a fine wine? He supposes she is going to gulp the lot. To Justin's evident disgust, Miranda concedes that she is very pleased with how the relationship is developing. She might be able to pull the wool over Brian's eyes, Justin says, but he knows her of old: men trust her at their peril. Miranda suggests that, since they are likely to be seeing quite a bit of one another around Ambridge, it might be a good idea to try to get on. This is not well received, and Justin bemoans the waste of an afternoon when he could have been playing golf. As he retreats, Miranda wishes him 'happy putting'.

Emma has brought a brandy to Jolene; she and Robert are evidently shocked by what Jolene has told them, and Emma says she must have been terrified, going through it all on her own. To sympathetic interjections from her listeners, Jolene says she just couldn't keep it bottled up any longer. She feels she was turning into someone else, being so anxious and defensive all the time, snapping at people... Not just George and Brad, Fallon too – and Fallon needs her support. Robert suggests that for now, Jolene should put herself first; Emma agrees. In awful tones, Jolene warns them that what she's said cannot leave this pub: she can't have Markie knowing she's blabbed, to anyone. They disagree and try to convince her to go to the police. Jolene wails that she's told them what he said: Markie will 'do something' to her and Kenton, or to the pub. Robert says he couldn't if he was locked up. Jolene is afraid the police wouldn't catch him quickly enough, but Robert assures her the police have ways of safeguarding [Pull the other one, Squire. Gus]. Emma promises she'll go with Jolene and with a certain dreary inevitability Robert insists he will too. If she's going to tell anyone, Jolene says, it has to be Harrison. Emma wants Jolene to call him straight away, but Jolene wants to leave it for a day or two. Neither Robert nor Emma likes the sound of that, but Jolene is determined it must wait and swears the pair to secrecy: they can't tell anyone, even Kenton. They reluctantly agree as Jolene promises them she will talk to him in a couple of days. Right now, though, Harrison's got enough on his plate.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 2nd April, 2024

Harrison gets the verdict he did not dare to hope for and knows he did not deserve.

Characters: Alice, Harrison, Fallon, Mr Murray, Odette Calandar, Mrs Cromwell, Harry
Credited scriptwriter:
Daniel Thurman
Director:
Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Outside Harrison's disciplinary hearing at 'police HQ' Alice greets him and he thanks her for coming [so she was indeed there entirely of her own volition, not as a witness. Chris], sounding extremely nervous. She apologises if she is interrupting; Fallon clearly wants to tell her that she is, but Harrison says it's all right and Fallon bites her tongue. Alice assures Harrison, from her infinite knowledge and wisdom, that it will be fine, and Harrison is saved from replying by his barrister, Mr Murray, who wants him to come and have a word with his Federation rep before the hearing starts. Fallon offers to go with them, but Harrison thinks he needs to talk with them on his own. This leaves Fallon with Alice, who at once tells her this must be torture [but probably meaning the enquiry rather than her pertinacious presence. Chris] for both of them; Fallon tells her it's awful. Alice tells her she is nervous enough herself, and Fallon suggests they could go in.

Inside, Odette Calandar, who will be serving as panel chair, introduces herself and, on her right, independent panel member Mr Ramirez, on her left, Superintendent Coles representing the police force. Harrison confirms that he is Sergeant Harrison Burns of the Borsetshire Police, and has been in the police force for sixteen years and a sergeant for nearly five. A Mrs Cromwell is representing Borsetshire Police Standards department; she states the allegation against Sergeant Burns: that the officer disclosed personal data recorded on the police national computer to a personal friend. At this point Alice starts to whisper to Fallon about Harry turning up, but shuts up in time for us to hear that the following standards of professional behaviour are alleged to have been breached: honesty and integrity, which equates to discreditable conduct. The actions of Sergeant Burns amount to gross misconduct and are serious enough to justify dismissal. Mrs Cromwell then calls her first witness: the individual whose data was accessed and shared by Sergeant Burns, Mr Harry Chilcott.

When Harry is there and trying to give his evidence in his own way, clearly wishing to exonerate Harrison, Mrs Cromwell barely allows him to speak, reading from his statement and telling him what his words mean. He tries to correct her conclusions, but is not allowed to and has to admit that much of what she says is accurate. Fallon is horrified, and Alice can't really defend him when Fallon says that from where she is sitting, he threw Harrison under the bus. Mrs Cromwell then calls in Inspector Norris as a witness. Alice tries to tell Fallon that it is her fault not Harry's, and Fallon says 'Not now, Alice' and eventually manages to shut her up.

At the end of the hearing Mr Murray recalls Harry and allows him to speak for himself; he does manage to accept responsibility: it's all his fault. Mrs Cromwell tries to prevent him on the grounds that it is not appropriate, but the chair permits him to continue. He explains that Harrison should not be blamed, because he was just trying to protect Alice and Martha; Harry would never have driven them while drunk, but there is no way Sergeant Burns could have known that. Mrs Cromwell tries again to intervene and is silenced by the chair. Harry then admits to having threatened Harrison, which causes murmuring. He put pressure on Harrison, and he regrets it. He was a mess, and still is struggling, and it's no wonder Harrison had serious fears about what his behaviour might be. It is Harry's opinion that since he understands what caused Harrison's behaviour, Harrison doesn't deserve any punishment.

During the pause in proceedings while the panel confers, Harrison tells Fallon that he reckons he is for it, but Fallon, being honest, says that she thinks his barrister made a really good case for him and was very persuasive. Harrison is more concerned about how Mrs Cromwell went for his boss: Norris did her best for him but was not allowed to escape the facts. There is no way he has not committed gross misconduct, in his opinion. They have a brief argument in which he tries to take all the blame and she points out the ways in which he behaved well, and that it was Alice who informed Norris that he had told Fallon. Harrison is clear that there is no point in blaming Alice: she messed up but he was the one who told Fallon what he shouldn't have. Fallon sees the the irony in this: he was trying to protect Alice and Martha. Harrison shuts her up because he has seen Alice approaching with coffee for them all. She tells him he did really well in there, and that she is so relieved Harry finally got to say his piece; Harrison doubts it will make much difference, and nor will Norris saying nice things. Him being a good colleague or a good person is kind of irrelevant: all they want to know is whether he talked to them both about Harry, and the simple fact is, he did. Mr Murray signals that he wants them back inside, and Fallon tells Harrison to hold her hand. She's there, no matter what.

Back in the building Mrs Calandar gives both sides of the case and eventually that the panel finds that the officer breached the high standard expected of him by disclosing confidential personal data to an outside party. The panel also discussed whether there were exceptional personal circumstances and they accept that the officer made this disclosure because he was concerned about the outside party, a vulnerable friend, being exploited, and he has admitted matters at the earliest opportunity. Ultimately it is the panel's conclusion that the officer did indeed commit misconduct; however, given the circumstances outlined, they believe he should retain his job. Fallon and Harrison gasp in relief. He should be issued with a final written warning, which will remain on his record for two years. That brings today's hearing to a close. Harrison seems shell-shocked; Alice asks if she may give Fallon a hug, and does so.

Outside, Fallon and Harrison rejoice together, although he is aware that a final warning is pretty serious. Mr Murray congratulates him on a good result, and Harrison thanks him; Alice then spots Harry, but Fallon doesn't think it would be a good idea for Harrison to talk to him, so thanking him for having come along is left to Alice. She has to go, though, so he is left standing on his own.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 3rd April, 2024

Serving booze does you good; drinking it, not so much.

Characters: Jolene, Kenton, Alice, Harry, Dr Malik
Credited scriptwriter:
Daniel Thurman
Director:
Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

After the long delay during which she has kept him in the dark, Jolene has finally got round to telling Kenton what has been going on. He is understandably concerned for her, feeling that the main thing is whether she is all right; she tells him it wasn't easy going to the police, but Harrison drove her over there and she gave a statement. He makes it clear that he doesn't mind her not having told him before and that he does understand; he insists that he is all right and she is not to worry about him. When she says that telling him all this is just adding to his stress about his leg, and she doesn't want to burden him, he tells her that he needs to know this stuff and begs her not to keep things from him if they are bothering her. He informs her that she hasn't been herself for weeks, but, when she says she has been dreadful to everyone, at once excuses it on the grounds she has been in turmoil, and, when she claims that's no excuse, he makes it clear that he thinks it's a very good excuse. She continues to beat her breast, and he tells her that he knew something was wrong but couldn't work out what. She tells him again all about her feelings before she went to the police and gave them 'a really good description of Markie'; Kenton is startled, and she goes on to say that having seen him up close she could identify him if it came to it. Kenton thought she had meant he'd threatened her over the phone, so she explains that Markie sought her out in the supermarket café: he followed her.

Harry has dropped his car keys outside the Bridge Farm shop, and Alice, who claims to have been driving past [Bridge Farm is off a farm track off a lane which goes south out of Ambridge, not a place Alice would be driving past at all. Chris], says that she just wanted to make sure he was all right. He says he is fine, and is driving back to Darrington, to the surgery; Alice is interested, and when he says he has an appointment with Dr Malik, feels nauseous – more on than off at the moment – and hasn't eaten because he's not felt hungry, but the appointment is because Dr Malik wants to see him not because he made it, Alice decides to drive him to it. She thinks it's best he doesn't drive himself; he puts up token resistance, but when he says he thought she was meant to be working, she tells him she'll text Joanne and ask her to cover.

The account of Markie's behaviour in the café has upset and annoyed Kenton as nothing else had done; he now wants to threaten him in return, and indeed to knock his block off. Jolene, quite as if this were not what she'd been working for over some minutes, anxiously implores him not to and tells Kenton that him going looking for Markie was what she was afraid of all along. He is to leave Markie for the police to deal with. Kenton asks about what if he's still out there, and she tells him they're being safeguarded: a note has been put on the system so that any 999 calls from them get an urgent response. [The rest of us can just wait because we don't matter? Chris.] The police also suggested installing panic alarms. Kenton reverts to telling her that he is so, so sorry; she rejoins that it's not his fault, and they proclaim their love to each other. [Tonstant listener frows up, yet again. Chris.] That it's out in the open, and the police are on it, is a comfort; Jolene just wants things to go back to normal (as does Kenton), and as quickly as possible. To this end, Kenton suggests that they could send Lilian home and manage the pub themselves for the evening: a night behind the bar together, just the two of them, could do them good. Jolene thinks her darlin' could be right.

Dr Malik invites Harry to take a seat, and Alice says she will wait 'out here'; Dr Malik says she is welcome to stay, and Harry persuades her to do so, on the grounds that if she is in there maybe she can help him remember everything the doctor says. What the doctor says amounts to a warning that he is there for a review of the results of his most recent blood-tests, and these are not good. They indicate there has been no improvement; she asks if he understands, and he claims he does, then asks what's next. She asks him to be honest with her about his alcohol consumption, and with a lot of prodding from Alice he reluctantly admits that he is still drinking; Dr Malik thanks him for telling her. He asks what now, again, and Alice suggests a support group, an idea of which Dr Malik approves. Alice also suggests a referral to the local drug and alcohol team, which the doctor is happy to do. She also wants to make an urgent referral to the liver clinic at the hospital so that Harry can have some further tests. In alarm, Harry asks what, and is told an ultrasound of his liver; Alice interrupts again to say that he has been feeling nauseous and ask if that might be to do with his liver; Dr Malik says they will know more after he has taken the tests, and Alice wants to know if he can be prescribed some meds. Apparently the specialist liver clinic might offer medication to support side effects of liver disease – 'liver disease?' asks Alice sharply. The doctor explains that they need to establish whether Harry has, or perhaps is heading towards, cirrhosis. Harry breathes out a long sigh, Alice a short one.

Behind the bar, Jolene is clearly in her element, and Kenton, after changing a barrel, comes up to announce that the Shires is back on. He remarks that it is quite busy for a Wednesday; Jolene tells him that he was right, and this is where she should be. They agree that this is normality, and that is what she needs after the weeks she's had. They kiss each other again before getting on with their jobs.

Dr Malik explains cirrhosis as scarring or fibrosis of the liver, and Harry suggests they not jump to any conclusions. She says she can text him a link for more info, but Alice insists that he should hear it from the doctor, and tells her (or possibly Harry) that it is serious and can lead to liver failure. She and the doctor explain contrapuntally that this is serious but may have no symptoms initially but may lead to liver failure. [The listeners have gathered that by now, and also have access to Wikipedia and even the NHS website... Chris.] Harry has no questions, but then asserts that he will stop. Alice says his name in a chiding voice, and suggests he can't do it alone but he is confident that this time he'll beat it. Alice tells him it doesn't work like that, and he needs help. He disputes this, and tells them that he saw this coming and for a time felt like giving up; he reckoned it might be cirrhosis, and even said it to his mother. He explains that his family have been as supportive as they can be, and tried their best to stop him drinking, and he has done in the past. It's just that then something happens and he's back where he started... But this time he reckons he can stop for good. Alice continues to tell him he can't on his own, but he is sure that if he really commits he can stay on the wagon. Doctor Malik asks whether he can tell her what might have influenced this most recent relapse and at first he claims not to know, then thinks that if anything, probably, the breakdown of his relationship. [Guilting Alice much, then? Chris.] Since that ended he found himself drinking more, and more, and more [as opposed to the drinking which led to the breakdown of the relationship. Chris] and it's no-one's fault, he says, it's just the way it is. Doctor Malik brings things back to the concrete by saying that she does think these tests will help them determine the best way forward. Harry says 'Fine' and Alice tells him there's no shame in being scared; exasperated, he tells her that he said fine, and Doctor Malik asks whether, if she refers him to the hospital, he will attend. Alice says that he will, but Doctor Malik, very properly, wants to hear what Harry has to say, telling him that it is for his own good. Low-voiced, he tells her that he will go, and Alice tells the doctor not to worry: she will make sure he does.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 4th April, 2024

Lilian has another row at Justin, and Alice is told some truths she'd rather not hear.

Characters: Lilian, Justin, Alice, Eve
Credited scriptwriter:
Daniel Thurman
Director:
Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

As so often, there is a rift in the lute at the Dower House: Justin is preoccupied with worry about Miranda and Brian, and not listening to Lilian. When pressed about his plans for the day, he tells her he has some work to finish at home and then a lunch meeting in Felpersham; she reminds him she'll be working at The Bull in the evening covering Emma's shift. He expresses surprise (what happened to her not being prepared to serve Miranda?) but she says it's half her pub and she won't be driven out of it. He tells her not to expect him to be in there any time soon because he finds it hard to bear the sight of Brian and Miranda together. Lilian feels he ought to ignore them, but he grumbles on and on about Miranda having her claws into Brian until Lilian tells him it sounds as if she has her claws into him, which he emphatically denies. Lilian claims Miranda is all he's been talking about; he tells her not to pretend the situation doesn't bother her too, but she points out that she refuses to let it turn into an obsession: it is ten years since he divorced that woman [seven; they decided in April 2017 to get divorced. Chris], so can't he just let it go? He tries to use the fact that Lilian has said Kate isn't very impressed, but Lilian immediately counters that Kate is wise enough to keep her nose out. Justin continues to rant about Miranda, and Lilian continues to pour cold water on his certainty that Miranda is taking Brian for a ride. He goes too far when he mentions that he happens to know that Miranda is smitten with Brian and intends to continue the relationship: Lilian wants to know how he knows this, and whether he has spoken with her. After initially denying it, he has to own up to having gone to her house when he was supposededly playing golf. Lilian is furious.

Alice has now gone over to Harry's mother's house to tell her what she has been told Eve already knows: that Harry is risking cirrhosis of the liver. The trouble is, Harry has not mentioned his liver to Eve, so she is understandably puzzled as to why Alice is on her doorstep; this is the first she has heard about his suspicions. Alice is taken aback and apologises in a flustered way for having just come out with it like that. She witters on a bit, and Eve eventually says that she can see how concerned Alice is, and apologises for how she treated her before. Alice tells her that she does understand, and they have a very awkward exchange during which Eve reveals that they knew Harry had a drink problem but thought he had it under control, which made him going out with an alcoholic very problematic for them: they thought it disastrous. Alice assures her that she does understand how precarious recovery can be. Her family worry about her too, proclaims Alice, but it's partly their love and support that gives her the strength to stay on top of things. Eve murmurs that is good to hear. After a pause, she adds that they have struggled; Alice is just glad that Harry has Eve and his father. The news about his liver must have been a shock but she guesses it's better they know; Eve unenthusiastically supposes so. Alice postulates that if they know the truth they can decide how best to help him.

The squabble at the Dower House continues, with Lilian attacking Justin, as is so often the case, for having tried to deceive her. [You'd think he would have learned by now. Chris.] She accuses him of being jealous of this thing Miranda has got going with Brian; Justin finds this ridiculous, and as a result of his protestations Lilian becomes more and more wild with her words and arguments. Eventually she tells him she has heard enough, and storms out.

Eve explains that she thinks it's fair to say that Harry's addiction has completely crushed her and his father over the years. Harry has not just been a drunk: he has been deceitful and embarrassing and insulting and cruel. Of course later he'd always be full of apologies and promises that he wouldn't behave in such a way again... It's been a nightmare. Alice claims to understand. Eve continues: he used to promise Briony, his ex, exactly the same things, but he just kept on undermining their marriage until she couldn't take it any more. She was heartbroken; Eve is just glad they didn't have any children together because that would have made things so much worse. Alice gasps, and Eve tells her she's sorry; Alice claims it's all right, then whispers 'it's just'... Eve goes on. Whenever things looked more hopeful for Harry, whenever Graham and Eve would let themselves believe that he was getting better, he would self-destruct and they would always be caught in the middle of the explosion. Alice agrees that is what it feels like. [How would she know? She has never had to deal with a nasty drunk; she has been one, which is not the same thing. Chris.] Eve tells her they are both battle-scarred, and, naively, they had thought that perhaps meeting Alice would change things for the better. Tearfully, Alice interjects that she did too. [No, she didn't. The moment she found out he was a drunk she dropped him like a brick. Chris.] Only the nightmare began all over again. She really doesn't mean to upset Alice, but if she's honest, she and Graham have accepted that Harry's alcoholism is a hopeless cycle.

Justin is now protesting that he didn't lie, he just withheld the truth; Lilian is in no way placated. Desperately, he asserts that was only because it was such a mistake going over there that he wanted to forget the whole thing; Lilian doesn't buy it, but eventually he manages to convince her that he doesn't feel that Miranda could hold a candle to her, then has another rant about the awfulness of Miranda; Lilian apologises for jumping to conclusions. Justin realises that this is exactly what the woman wants, to stir things up and drive a wedge between them and they mustn't let her do that. Lilian tartly requires him to keep his distance from his ex-wife from now on, which he agrees to do; she adds that they will just have to trust the fact that Brian is not a foolish man, and at some point he'll lose interest in her. Justin grumbles that he'll more likely realise what a terrible mistake he's made, and Justin will then take great pleasure in reminding Brian that he told him so.

In great agitation Alice demands of Eve how they can turn their backs on their child, and states that she could never do anything like that to her Martha. Eve informs her that she really doesn't know, but Alice is convinced that of course she does. Eve tries to reason with her: anyone could make that decision if they're pushed long and hard enough. They had so much patience with Harry; she, his father, his sister, for a long time had nothing but sympathy and supported him in every way as well as they could and repeatedly gave him the benefit of the doubt, but they can't do that any more. Stunned, Alice asks if they don't feel sad, and Eve tells her that she feels heart-broken: it's the most painful thing she's ever had to cope with. But they've got to protect themselves; otherwise he'll just pull them all down right to the bottom, and Eve is not prepared to let that happen. She really hopes Alice will try to see things from their point of view. Alice stammers that it isn't easy, and Eve agrees: not for her, not any more. Alice knows why Harry bought the horse for his niece, doesn't she? Sadie was purchased to get back into his sister's good books after a drunken outburst at her birthday party; Harry ruined the whole thing. It was awful, and very public, and they were so close as children; Laurie idolised him right up until recently, and hung onto her faith in Harry longer than any of them, but now she's as crushed as they are. Eve wants to give her daughter her attention now. Alice thinks that she gets that. She's just so sorry it's come to this. And she's sorry she lost her temper. Eve assures her that's nothing, and Alice tries to reassure her that although Harry was wary of these liver tests at first, she thinks the doctor's concern has been the kick he needed. Eve says it would be good if that were true, clearly not thinking that it is. Alice is surprised by that, and Eve remarks that she's afraid that she is beyond the point of trusting it will be different this time; as Alice tries to argue, she tells her that she knows that must be hard to hear, because she can see how much Alice cares about him, and she knows he cares about Alice too. Alice is sure he can do it; Eve wishes her luck. Is that all? asks the astonished Alice; Eve hopes he proves her wrong and gets sober, for good, she really does, but his family are not in a position to help him any longer.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 5th April, 2024

In which various people make it clear that Ambridge is chock full of stupidity.

Characters: Harrison, Fallon, Robert, Harry, Alice, Eddie, George
Credited scriptwriter:
Daniel Thurman
Director:
Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Fallon is preparing a special evening for Harrison, starting with a freshly-mixed daiquiri [type unspecified. Chris] as he comes in from work, and having dressed up for him. Her plans include canoodling, pampering, TLC, and cooking a special dinner to have with a nice bottle of wine, followed by an early night. No sooner has she turned on some music and Harrison gone to change out of his uniform than the doorbell rings: Fallon calls asking Harrison to get rid of whoever it is, but Robert wants to talk to Harrison and Harrison lets him in. As long as he isn't interrupting anything, says Robert, having walked into the kitchen; Fallon, with a false little laugh, tells him he isn't at all: why would he be?

In order to bump into Harry 'accidentally', Alice has gone to his house to drop over some support material she's gathered together. Rather than put it through the letter box, or into his hands and leave, she agrees to stay 'just for ten minutes' to help him go through it.

Doing some work to help Ed and Eddie holds no appeal for George at all: he is busy sulking about not having won on Sunday by cheating. He is convinced it should be him and Tilly Button going off for a night at Grey Gables, not Chris and whoever he goes with. Eddie tries to cheer him up by talking about his Bartleby videos going well, but he is gloomy about those too: he can't just keep churning out videos of a veteran pony standing in a field, and if he's bored, imagine how his followers must feel. Eddie tells him he needs to jazz it up a bit, and volunteers to play Bartleby's voice-over, in the style of Johnny Morris's Animal Magic; George is doubtful, especially when Eddie shows off by imitating Scottish, American and French accents very badly indeed.

Alice is extolling the virtues of sundry inspiring articles to Harry, who makes the right noises, thanking her and calling things 'amazing' when she seems to be approving them. She tells him that being assigned a 'buddy' or sponsor is a great help, and that there is a free national helpline; he cavils that he would rather talk to someone face to face, as they are now. She points out that is what the meetings are for, but Harry claims they intimidate him; she tells him he will be fine, but he at once prevaricates: if he ever manages to get himself there. She wants to know, what about the promise he made to Doctor Malik to take the liver test and go to meetings? but he 's not sure he's got the strength, or the willpower; he's not sure he can do any of this on his own. She reassures him that he won't be on his own: there's lots of help out there. He finally admits that though he said his family was supporting him, the truth is that they've all given up and can't do it any more; Alice says she knows that, thereby having to reveal that she went behind his back to see his mother and talk about him. She says that she is sorry if that feels like an intrusion, but he claims that it doesn't and that actually he is quite touched, though he is sure it wasn't much use. Alice regretfully says Eve was pretty adamant about keeping her distance, and Harry laments that he had a feeling she really was done with him this time; Alice says that she is sorry, but Harry doesn't see why: maybe giving up is the right decision, and when Alice suggests 'for her, maybe' he replies 'for everyone'. Him included, he adds, and when Alice exclaims against that says that he is clearly hopeless. Maybe he should just keep drinking and let his liver fail.

The unwelcome visitor at Woodbine Cottage is lecturing Harrison and Fallon on security in the village (and incidentally on people not picking up body-language, with which Fallon heartily agrees) and shows no sign of leaving; this turns out to be because it is his birthday and Lynda is making him a special meal, so she has told him to make himself scarce while she cooks, and he is at a loose end. Just as he says that he should be heading off because he was told to be there for dinner at six o'clock a message arrives on his phone: Lynda is having a stroganoff crisis and doesn't want to see him for another hour. When Fallon asks what he's going to do he says with patent insincerity that he doesn't want to spoil their evening, but is easily persuaded by Fallon to stay for a daiquiri cocktail when she says that it is his birthday, after all.

When George turns up at Grange Farm Eddie invites him in; Clarrie isn't there because she is doing 'some video testimonial thing' for Susan down at the village shop, but Eddie suspects she has had enough of Eddie trying out Bartleby voices. George is not sure this is going to work, but Eddie insists on demonstrating 'the perfect voice for a geriatric pony', which turns out to be fake-posh with undertones of Larry the Lamb when he introduces himself as 'Baaah-telby'. George remains lukewarm about it until Eddie starts to produce salacious gossip (about Brian and Miranda), pretending it is Bartleby's observation of village life; this naturally seems funny to George.

Harry's outbreak of calculated self-pity has the desired effect; Alice buys into his assertion that she has been more help than anyone else he ever tried to talk to. He is sure that they can help each other; when she says that she has enough support, he reminds her that he doesn't: she heard his mother's decision; his whole family... None of them are interested. He has burnt those bridges. He just feels so lucky that he hasn't messed things up with her! In order to convince him this is not the time to give up and that he's not alone, Alice agrees to support him for a bit longer, as a friend, and only until he's got someone else. He thanks her, and swears that she won't regret it. [Oh, Alice, you sucker. Chris.]

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 7th April, 2024

Harry has started to lean, and Kate is having a busy and productive time of it.

Characters: Alice, Harry, Brian, Kate, Miranda
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Mel Ward
Editor: Jeremy Howe

When her phone rings at three-thirty in the morning and wakes Alice, it can only be Harry having a crisis; he says he is sitting looking at a bottle of whisky and wanting a drink, and Alice naturally identifies with this problem. She talks him through taking the bottle to the sink and emptying it, then rinsing it out and throwing it away – obviously this is all on faith on her part, since she can't see what he is actually doing, but over a phone water pouring sounds much the same as whisky. Harry spends a lot of time apologising for having called her, and she spends a lot of time assuring him that it's the right thing for him to have done. She keeps him talking about himself, and tells him repeatedly that he can do this and that he is not on his own. He should go to as many meetings as he can, and also come up with positive things to do such as riding or meditation or gardening; he should just find the distractions that work for him. When he says that he should let her get back to sleep she tells him that she has the latest issue of Borchester Life, and they could do the crossword together; she reads out the first clue and he gets the answer after a little prodding

As he is having breakfast Brian remarks that Kate is up early; she tells him about the full day ahead of her, and he asks if that means she'll be out all day. Instantly suspicious, she in turn asks whether he is planning to bring Miranda back there, and immediately starts questioning him: is it serious? How does he see things developing between them? Brian tells her he will tell her exactly how he sees things developing: Miranda is planning to try out the cross country course today, and then they are having lunch. When Kate eagerly asks 'and?' Brian responds 'And nothing' and says they have no plans beyond that. Kate wants to know whether they are having lunch at Blossom Hill Cottage, and Brian says no, but quite fails to say where they plan to eat. Kate then angles for a proper introduction: Brian could bring Miranda back after five when Kate will be at home, but Brian thinks that very unlikely to happen. Kate whines about the two of them having been at The Bull's egg-hunt, and when Brian remarks that given that half the village was there that's hardly a secret says that's her point: it's not fair that other people have met her properly and Kate hasn't. Brian can't see why all the fuss: they have crossed paths before. Kate grumbles that that was ages ago and things are different now.

Having ridden the cross-country course, a rather breathless Miranda gives her verdict: there are a few things wrong with it, but it's not bad. Alice is not entirely happy with being told she needs to improve the drainage, but Brian comes up as Miranda is advising her about how to do it, and prepares to sweep Miranda away to lunch at The Fox in Edgeley. Alice says 'lovely' and Miranda that she will take that as a recommendation. She needs to pop into the shop first, though, and then go back to Brian's place to freshen up. Once they are gone Alice rings Harry, and leaves a message asking him to call her back when he can, please.

At The Fox Brian and Miranda choose and order their meal, and Miranda complains mildly about having been asked by Susan to contribute a testimonial for the shop's promotional video, which she declined to do. After apologising about that, Brian tells Miranda about Kate's desire to meet her, though he feels Miranda is unlikely to bump into her any time soon; Miranda enquires whether he has deliberately thwarted an encounter, and Brian denies it. She then wants to know if he is ashamed of her, which he also denies; and no,that isn't why they've fled Ambridge today! After all, half the village saw her in The Bull at Easter; in reasonable tones she asks why they are in Edgeley today. Brian explains that it is more that she and Kate are chalk and cheese; for instance this thing Kate's running today, finding your inner infant, is hardly Miranda's sort of thing, is it. Miranda, in a wondering tone, says that it sounds absolutely fascinating, and Brian at once spots that she is sending him up. Possibly, she agrees. However, if Kate is keen to meet she has absolutely no objection: they could go out for dinner. Brian mentions that they'd have to serve vegan food as well as proper food; Miranda is sure they could find somewhere and suggests Tuesday evening.

Harry does ring back, and Alice greets him eagerly and asks if he is all right. He has been out for a hack with Benedict and says he should have let her know what he was planning. She checks that he was OK after they talked, and he promises her he was fine: he slept for a bit and had a good breakfast and then a ride. He is so grateful to her: she saved his life. No, she protests, they did it together. He tells her that he genuinely hasn't wanted a drink all day, which she thinks is great: he should celebrate that. She does warn him that the cravings will come back: they do with her from time to time, and even people who've been sober for decades find that. He's starting to build a strong habit, she tells him, and he replies that he feels so much more confident now; Alice loves it that she can use her experience to help. Like Lisa helps her, suggests Harry, before asking whether Alice has told Lisa about being his sponsor; Alice temporises, because it's not quite like that. Harry has read that you're not meant to buddy up if you're in a relationship and Alice hastily denies that they aren't together; reluctantly Harry agree that he guesses not. Alice tries to sound sure that there is no need to bother Lisa, not really.

Kate has found Miranda's hairbrush in the bathroom and is full of accusation; as soon as Kate's back is turned, Miranda is in the house again. Brian's attitude is 'so what if she is', since they are all grown-ups, even Kate (theoretically); Kate denies that she has any problem with it, but what she meant is that Brian keeps whisking her away before Kate even has the chance to say hello. Brian takes the wind out of her sails: actually, she's very keen to meet Kate and suggested Tuesday evening, perhaps. Oh! Well, in that case, the deflated Kate would be delighted. Brian is glad, but wants to make one thing absolutely clear: he doesn't want Kate giving Miranda a grilling. This is not a job interview for the post of... well, whatever Miranda is; Kate is not there to judge her suitability. Kate claims to be the least judgemental person on the planet, although she would like to point out that she was right about Harry. All right, all right, he needn't worry: she promises that she will be charm personified.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 8th April, 2024

Eddie has gone too far as usual, and Chris is a bit far gone.

Characters: Susan, Chris, Eddie-as-Bartleby, Harrison, George, Eddie
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Mel Ward
Editor: Jeremy Howe

It seems that at well over ninety Carol Tregorran is alive and well and still regularly dropping into the village shop [about a hundred and fifty yards from the house she lives in, but good for her anyway. Chris], which impresses Susan. Chris is inclined to attribute this to her magic potions; he reckons she brews up an elixir of youth every week. Susan didn't ask her to record a video tribute to the shop, but says those are going really well; this brings them to Brian having recorded one for her, and then to the gossip about him and That Miranda Elliott being an Item. Chris then encourages Susan to watch Bartleby's latest video, which includes the ancient scandal about Derek Fletcher having had an affair with Jean Harvey back in the eighties, and when Harrison comes into the shop he confirms that both Derek and Jean have spoken to him to complain about it, though he corrects Susan: Jean Harvey can't sue for slander, because it's on a video and would be libel. Also, as he told Derek Fletcher, if it's true it isn't libel or slander. It's not a police matter, anyway. Has Susan got any soy sauce? Up by the noodles. Chris then moots the question he actually came in to ask: since he has no partner to go with, Martha being too young to appreciate it, would Susan and Neil like to have the night at Grey Gables he won in the egg-hunt? She wouldn't, but suggests Ed and Emma as deserving a break for once. He agrees to the idea, and says he will mention it to Ed when they have a talk about Keira visiting Champion. Harrison , overhearing, asks how Martha is getting on with her pony, and Chris says it's slow but steady: she will stroke him and feed him but still refuses to get on his back. Chris then discovers by enquiry that Harrison has the rest of the day free, and offers to buy him a drink at The Bull to celebrate the result of his hearing.

For his birthday George has been given some money which he plans to spend on clothes and a hard cover for his phone. He and Eddie agree that Bartleby is looking better already and Jakob's diet is working, though it and the drugs are expensive; George hopes that monetisation of his channel will pay for that. Eddie is ready to record the next video of Bartleby's View From His Paddock, this one about chatting to his llama friend Wolfgang the other day [via the medium of a medium: Wolfgang is long dead. Chris], and having told him that Bartleby keeps up with the gossip by popping into the village shop, where there is someone who knows every little thing that's going on and isn't slow to share her knowledge.

The toast is 'To still being a copper', and Chris makes clear his belief that though Harrison may not have done things strictly by the book, he may have saved Alice and Martha's lives. [Bollocks. Gus.] Harrison wants to talk about more important things such as cricket. He and Chris have both noticed that Grundy, G, and Riley, H, have a beef against each other, and make no attempt to hide it. Harrison wants to be fair to Hannah: he doesn't think she starts anything, but she can't help rising to George and retaliating when he undermines her; Chris feels that it has been casting a bit of a shadow over practices. Harrison doesn't know whether to bang their heads together, or take them individually to one side and give them a rocket; Chris asks whether he thinks that would help. Harrison has realised that he has to try something: the other players are starting to moan about it. Chris wonders if there might be a way to get them to cooperate, but doesn't know how; if he thinks of anything he will let Harrison know. He asks about Harrison and Fallon's 'staycation' over the weekend and is told it was brilliant once they finally got rid of Robert. Bless him, says Chris with a patronising laugh, didn't he realise he was interrupting a romantic weekend? They chortle over Fallon even having poured him a cocktail. Harrison proclaims that she is a star, and Chris voices his envy of their strong relationship, then skips track to Brian Aldridge being back on the dating scene, which proves it's never too late. Speaking of which isn't it about time Chris started putting himself out there? Chris is startled: it wouldn't work, what with Martha and work and stuff; Harrison doesn't accept that and tells him that he's a catch, but Chris remains unconvinced, then asks him to keep something to himself. The trouble is, he's still in love with Alice. He doesn't want to be and he's tried really hard not to be, but he can't help it. He tried to be grown-up about Harry coming on the scene but it almost tore him apart. Harrison sympathetically reminds him that Harry is no longer on the scene, and furthermore is pretty sure that Alice still has a place in her heart for Chris and perhaps if Chris wants to be more than friends he ought to try talking to her, but Chris feels that the arrangement they've got works really well and he can't risk spoiling it, for Martha's sake. He's just got to suck it up.

The videos with Bartleby talking are doing way better than anything George has posted before, and he and Eddie are gloating over this and Ed and Emma being able to buy the equipment for their business [even though neither has tried any tree-surgery and they have no idea whether they can, or even want to, do it. Chris] with Will's money when an angry rapping at the door heralds the arrival of an angry Susan. She has seen the latest video and wants to know what George and Eddie think they're playing at.

Chris has been thinking; when Harrison brings him another pint he asks whether he and Fallon want the night at Grey Gables. He was going to give that to Ed and Emma, but when he said the words 'Grey Gables' Ed started bad-mouthing the hotel for not having given Emma a job and for turning down Will for gardening work, and since Ed really had it in for them Chris thought best not. If Harrison wants it, it's his. Harrison is delighted to accept: Fallon will love it.

Having been persuaded that the video will make money to pay for Bartleby, Susan is not letting George off the hook: if that video is staying up she wants recompense. She decides that he will be editing all her testimonial videos for the shop, with backing music and captions and everything. He protests that he hasn't got time, but she is adamant: she wants it all up on the website, and she wants a proper professional job.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 9th April, 2024

Brian, in sign-language: 'As you value your soul, man, bring me some garlic bread.'

Characters: Alice, Lilian, Ed, Emma, Will, Chris, Brian, Miranda, Kate
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Mel Ward
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Being kept up at night is interfering with Alice's work: she is testy with a pupil, and Lilian has to intervene, sending her home and taking over giving Melody the lesson herself Before she goes, Alice excuses her ill-temper by saying she has been having broken nights because Martha is under the weather and has been waking her up.

Ed is defending the latest Bartleby video as not actually naming who it is about, while Emma points out that it is obviously about Susan and anyway that is what everyone is going to think. Ed's response to that is that Susan is getting something out of it, anyway, because George will do a good job of editing her shop videos, but Emma is also worried about who they are going to pick on next. Just as she's pointing out that Ed wouldn't think it funny if they did one on him and she feels that no-one is safe, Will knocks on their door; he has come round to superintend their purchases of tree-surgery equipment. His attempts to tell them about their business clearly do not go down well with Ed, but his views on not buying anything second-hand, rather than cutting costs and making do like a typical Grundy enterprise, are quickly knocked down when Ed and Emma are able to show him second-hand chainsaws in excellent condition for sale at auctions. They are going to get all their clothing and safety gear new, but there's no reason not to go for second hand chainsaws, especially since they need four. [It doesn't occur to any of them to wonder why there might be so much second-hand nearly-new tree-surgery equipment on the market. Chris.]

At The Bull Lilian, who is now working their behind the bar, greets Chris and asks him whether he has ever done bar work, but he spots what she is trying to do and refuses to have anything to do with it: he is already busy enough. He isn't even there for a drink: he has lost a knife and is going round everywhere he has been recently to see if anyone's found it. While they wait for Jolene to come and get the key to the lost property cupboard Lilian says he must be looking forward to his stay at Grey Gables, and he explains about not using his prize because he has no partner, and having handed it on to Fallon and Harrison, which Lilian thinks very nice of him; this leads to her saying she was sorry to hear Martha's been poorly. This illness comes as news to Chris, especially since Alice has used it as an excuse for being tired after nights on which Chris had Martha himself, but Lilian quickly suggests that she might have misunderstood, or Alice might have got it muddled: she was very tired. Just as Lilian is digging a deeper hole for herself Miranda and Brian come in and she goes to serve them, full of false and exaggerated bonhomie.

The pair are at The Bull because they have booked a table for supper for themselves and Kate. Lilian sniping at Miranda makes Brian somewhat uncomfortable, but before there is an open outbreak of war Kate comes in, and Miranda at once redirects her wit: did Kate come straight from work? How lovely for her to be able to wear something so unstructured in the workplace, unapologetically Bohemian. Kate makes a good comeback: she doesn't think anyone should be judged on what they choose to wear; Miranda exclaims 'Good for you!' and it is Brian who shuts down Kate's comment, that formal dress-codes are an archaic remnant of a class-ridden patriarchal society, by suggesting they go to their table. Miranda leads the way through the Ploughman's to the restaurant, and after she's gone Lilian wishes Kate the best of luck.

At their table, Kate interrogates Miranda about her relationship with Brian but gets precious little change out of her; Brian crossly reminds Kate about the talk they had when they agreed on this little get-together, and they haven't even opened their menus yet, but Kate claims she is just making conversation and Miranda feels it is perfectly all right; given the circumstances it would be strange if his family didn't have questions for her. Kate takes this as a vindication, especially when Miranda add she is perfectly happy to answer them.

Emma is triumphantly showing Will examples of hardly-used chainsaws, and he comes round to accepting that she has made her point. She and Ed then take turns in pointing out how good of him it is to put up the money and how they don't want to burn through it, while being confident the business will be a success but needing to be cautious because there is no guarantee how quickly it will get off the ground [first time one of them climbs a tree at all, I should think. Or not. Sniggering Chris.] Will continues to regard the gear as a vital investment and says a lot is riding on 'us' getting it right. Ed says they do know that, and Emma assures him they aren't going to 'do an Eddie', and he is convinced at last: as long as they keep the standards high then he's happy.

Miranda is explaining that the divorce settlement was very fair considering the assets she brought to the marriage in the first place, and lists the residences she took out of it: one in Oxfordshire, near Banbury, a flat in Belsize Park, and a cottage in Polperro. [And then there is the listed house in Notting Hill and the flat in Borchester, also the apartment in Courchevel, or was it a chalet, which have been mentioned on other occasions. Chris.] Brian remarks that she isn't a gold-digger; Kate asserts that she didn't imagine that for a moment. Miranda continues: as far as the future is concerned, when you get to their age you're happy simply to entertain the possibility of a future without worrying too much exactly what it will entail. Brian applauds this sentiment, and Miranda further states that she has no expectations of any relationship with Kate's father beyond their next rendez-vous. If they continue to enjoy each other's company, what more can they ask for? Brian enquires whether Kate is happy, and Kate says yes in a rather surprised way: Miranda's been very frank. Brian thinks that wonderful and wants to know if they can order some food now. Kate says they can, but Miranda now has some questions for Kate: it does work both ways. Kate could be a serial killer for all she knows! Greatly disconcerted and a little offended, Kate can assure her she's not, so Miranda asks whether she conducts pagan rituals at Spiritual Home. Yes, responds Kate cheerfully, especially at the major festival periods. Before she can embark on lists and explanations, Miranda then wants to know exactly how many children Kate has, and on how many continents. Three on two, replies Kate, and what sort of a question is that? A slightly inappropriate one, according to Miranda; Brian chuckles, and Kate realises that it's like the ones she has been asking Miranda. When Miranda says she will leave Kate to judge that, Kate apologises: maybe she did go a bit far. Miranda assures her no apology is necessary, but thinks she can set Kate's mind at rest on one important point: she has no intention of replacing Jennifer even if that were possible. She is there for Brian, no-one else. Kate feels that's very fair, and she likes plain speaking. Brian's comment is, 'Well played, Miranda,' and Kate tells her she has a good aura: Miranda exclaims 'Goodness!' and Brian says that is high praise indeed. Brian now wants to start the evening over again.

Meanwhile, having called in at The Nest, Chris is anxiously enquiring of Alice whether Martha is all right. Alice fails to understand what he is getting at, and says Martha is watching her favourite cartoon, but what Chris wants to know is why she didn't tell him the child hasn't been well. After wanting to know who told him that and being told that it was Lilian, who was quite concerned, Alice flounders, then tells him an obvious taradiddle about a nightmare. When he goes on to report that Lilian said Alice had a very disturbed night and had to be sent home, Alice accuses her aunt of blowing it out of proportion. Chris presses her: what about the weekend? She told Lilian that Martha had been poorly since then. Alice denies it, then blames Lilian as being a bit scatty at times; Chris has always thought her pretty sharp. Alice reiterates that Martha's fine, she's fine herself, and honestly, Chris, there is nothing to worry about.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti. Header provided by HedgeSparrow.

Wednesday 10th April, 2024

Emma's nose is out of joint, yet again; Hannah holds her own but loses anyway.

Characters: Emma, Fallon, Harrison, Hannah, George, Chris
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Mel Ward
Editor: Jeremy Howe

While working at the tea-room Emma finds time to explain to Fallon what is now going on with her and Ed's new business, and that she will still want to work for Fallon except when she has gone on a course to learn how to do the job for which she and Ed are spending thousands on equipment before discovering whether they can do it or enjoy it. She is really excited about this new world that is opening up, and glad to be working closely with Ed as equal partners, but has the sense to realise the tree-surgery is not going to be full time for two people at least for a little while. Fallon dubiously supposes it may be a bit tricky to schedule shifts at the tea-room, but Emma will make sure she gives her plenty of notice of jobs coming in that she will need to do. Still, as Fallon points out, while she's away Fallon will need to cover all her hours. They will manage, though. Emma reminds her that it's her regular day off tomorrow and she and Ed are going over to see Jamie Perks, who is working near Ledbury: Fallon thinks it's dead convenient knowing a real live tree-surgeon. Natasha will be covering for Emma. Fallon then asks about the strength-training, about which it turns out Emma had doubts because of the women weight-lifters you see, but the training is making her feel so alive and you can actually see the progress you're making. Fallon reckons that it does seem to be suiting her, and bets it is going down well with Ed too; an unexpected side benefit, Emma smugly agrees. It's hard work, but Chris has been a real help, lending her his weights and bench and then coaching her. He's such a good brother. Fallon extols him as a good friend, too, and tells Emma about being given Chris's prize night at Grey Gables; Emma manages to sound pleased for them.

Harrison arranges by phone for first Hannah and then George to come ten minutes early for nets at seven o'clock tonight, without telling either that he has asked the other. George rings off and greets Emma, who is back from work in her trackies [which leads me to wonder where this is happening: Grange Farm? Why is George there? It's not where he lives nor where he works. Chris], and claims he is off out but wants to see her do a bench press. She tells him not to push his luck: she's still not very pleased with him. When he asks why, she tells him it's about the video taking the mickey out of Susan, and his protests that it's all Eddie's doing cut no ice with her; anyway, Eddie is also in her bad books. Chris turns up to do training with her before nets, talking abut the logistics of collecting Martha, and Emma wonders that he doesn't get Alice to have Martha tonight when it's going to be so complicated with training and nets; Chris says it's his turn and anyway he wanted to be sure she is all right. Emma wonders why she shouldn't be, but Chris is saved from having to answer by George needing to run in order to get dad to take him to nets early, and his snide remarks about Emma demonstrating her training distract her at the critical moment. As soon as George is gone Emma tells Chris that before they crack on she has a bone to pick with him: he gave his prize to Fallon and Harrison, but didn't he think EdanMe might have liked first refusal? Chris groans, then explains that when he went to Ed to tell him they could have it, Ed explained how they feel about Grey Gables: they wouldn't touch the place with a barge-pole, blah blah blah. This stumps Emma, who finds it hard to credit that he said that, and Chris has to admit that he didn't in so many words but that was the impression he got. Emma is disgruntled that he didn't even offer the night at Grey Gables to Ed and utters the immortal 'I don't believe it' so often used by David to express disgust with something; Chris tells her that he didn't think they'd want it, and she tells him that she might moan about the place, but she moans about fast cars on the road and that doesn't mean she'd turn down a Ferrari. Chris says sorry in the tones of one who isn't really, and Emma exclaims about Ed and his big mouth: she'll kill him! [How many people per episode will she say she holds a grudge against? Is this a record? Chris.]

At nets, Harrison is thanking Hannah for coming in early when George arrives and is not pleased to see her. Harrison claims to want to pick their brains: they are both fairly new to the team and not set in their ways like some of the old stagers. They have a big match to kick off the season, against Darrington, and he'd welcome their thoughts. The danger is that people can build up these needle matches to ridiculous levels in the mind; Hannah agrees that then they push themselves too far and choke, and when Harrison asks him whether he thinks that's true George reluctantly agrees. Harrison muses that his message to the team should be to play with poise and control; Hannah immediately agrees, while George adds that sounds good. Harrison then says that in terms of batting order he'll probably have Adam and Tom opening, George at number three, and Chris at four. George thanks him, and he goes on to tell Hannah she'll be further down the order, which she doesn't mind at all, but she's a useful medium pacer so he'll make sure she gets some early time with the ball. Are they both happy with that? George is, a hundred per cent, and Hannah is aware it means they'll be playing to their strengths. To reinforce that, tonight Harrison wants them to do some drills together, mainly with Hannah bowling to George. Neither is keen, but when he asks if that's a problem they are agreed it is not.

Chris takes over coaching the pair and tells them to swap to George bowling and Hannah at bat: each on their second string. George mutters that they'll see about that. Unfortunately his attempt to hurt her with a fast ball is a mile wide and she doesn't even try to touch it. He shouts that it's no good her standing there like a statue, but Chris supports her: it was wide. She remarks that if George bowls her a legal one she'll take a swing at it, and Chris suggests that George might try a much slower delivery. George offensively asks what the point is of playing cricket if you're scared of the ball, and Chris sternly tells him that's enough. George claims just to be giving her a bit of practice responding to sledging, to which Chris's response is a single, sharp 'No'. George protests that Darrington are always lippy on the pitch, but Chris tells him firmly that the skipper's been very clear that team policy is to ignore anything like that and let the cricket do the talking. All right? When George doesn't reply, he repeats it: all right, George? Reluctantly, George says all right, and Chris hammers the point home: you do not retaliate, even if they're having a prod at you, and you definitely don't start in with the verbals yourself.

Harrison bowls the last ball of the practice to George, whose response is good enough to make Hannah to exclaim 'Shot!' and Chris and Harrison to tell him that was perfect and would have been a four for sure. He is flattered, and Harrison calls for the end of practice by telling the team they've all worked really hard and their teamwork is coming on a treat. Well done everyone, and see them Sunday. Hannah congratulates George on his great batting, and he is surprised into saying 'ta, Hannah' and adding that her bowling's, yeah, not bad either. Harrison gloatingly remarks that it is looking good for Sunday and he thinks Darrington are in for a tough time, and George reckons he's right. Chris tells Hannah that was a good practice and she replies that she enjoyed it, especially after he had that word with George. Chris's reaction is that she shouldn't worry about that and he just needs cutting down to size occasionally. She tells him she is also grateful for the one-to-one coaching he gave her; he tells her that her leg-breaks are coming on really well. She'd like to say thank-you, and he disclaims: there's no need. What she means, she persists, is that she'd like to get to know him a bit better. As a person she means, not just a cricketer. Maybe they could, she doesn't know, have a drink some time? No, says Chris hastily: he stammers that it's just with work and Martha and stuff he's pretty busy, so... Hannah gets it. He's sorry; she assures him it's fine, really, and he's to forget she said anything.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 11th April, 2024

George wants Ed and Emma to fake it till they make it; Fallon has a staffing problem.

Characters: Will, George, Susan, Fallon, Eddie
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Mel Ward
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Over breakfast, Will and George are discussing nets and the order of the cricket team's fixtures, when Will asks whether there is something going on between Hannah and Chris; George says that she'd like there to be, it's obvious, but Chris wouldn't go there, would he: he's got better taste. Will dismisses that as rude, and immediately passes on to George and Hannah training better together, which George regards as united against the common enemy; Will is glad they've put that behind them [or possibly that George has: 'you' is ambiguous in this context. Chris]. He goes on to say that Ed and Emma must be half-way to Ledbury, and George peevishly responds that they have probably got there by now given the time they were talking about leaving. Will would have liked to have gone with them, because although he's not doing the hands-on work it's good for him to get his head round all aspects of the business, but George tells him he wants to be focussed on the management side, not hanging around in woods looking at trees being cut down, and starts to say he has been taught about that on his course; he spouts a lot of business theory bullshit, which Will swallows whole, and ends with saying you should dress for where you want to be, not where you are. He feels that Mum and Ed think a bit small, and that if you think like a little family business you'll always be a little family business, whereas right from the start you should carry on like you're a big, successful operation, and your customers will mirror that. Will swallows this as well, and George's disdain for the company name, 'Grundy Tree Surgery', claiming that 'we' are planning to change that. George is sure that if they get the name right, everything else will fall into place. Will does enter a caveat that this applies only if the work is done properly, but George assures him he can rely on Mum and Ed for that. Yeah, they're good workers, agrees Will smugly. As he asks what the name should be, Susan walks in requiring George to come and do the rough cut of the videos for the shop testimonials, now. Will says he will leave them to it: he has his regular couple of hours on the Thwaites' garden, and then helping Eddie lay a patio at Beechwood. George jokes that he can soon swap his rake and shovel for a big desk and a leather chair.

Fallon encounters Eddie as she is trying to find someone to take over on Emma's day off from the tea-room: Natasha has had to back out because the bottling plant at Sawyers Farm has broken down, which will take all morning to sort out and possibly longer. Eddie makes some suggestions which are non-starters, then has an idea for someone she could ask.

All the videos Susan wants him to edit are rejected by George for one reason or another, much to her indignation, and then, when she has just finished telling him she can't do it all over again because Lynda wants it for tomorrow, his phone rings. On discovering that it is Fallon ringing to ask him to help out at the tea-room, he leaves Susan stuttering indignantly and goes to change in order to get to Bridge Farm as soon as possible. [His first thought oon talking to Fallon is to take all his clothes off. Right. Gus.]

Once he is there George is super-helpful and Fallon is pleased that he was able to come and do the shift over which Natasha let her down. They get on well, with George telling her, as they clear tables, of his ambition to earn enough money to make life easy for his family, thus impressing her with how nice he is. They've worked like dogs all their lives and what have they got to show for it? Zilch. Fallon agrees that it seems like it's always been hand to mouth for the Grundys, and is given the hard-luck story about Clarrie having to work in the dairy at seventy and Eddie doing manual labour at seventy-three.

Eddie meanwhile has Will doing the manual labour for him, hefting slabs around while Eddie adjusts the sand that is to be under them. Eddie has been considering Justin Elliott as the next person to feature in a Bartleby episode. Will is dubious about the value of these videos: he knows they are popular in the village, but if they are going to be the viral sensation George keeps talking about don't they need a wider audience? Eddie disagrees: the more local they keep them, the more fascinating they'll be as a window into another world. Will concedes that it's Eddie's project, and wonders how Ed and Emma are getting on with Jamie. Eddie expects they are learning a lot but noticed they seemed to be at outs when they left in the morning; Will knows that it is something to do with Grey Gables, but not what, though he thinks Ed's made a boo-boo.

The shift at the tea-room is coming to an end; Natasha could come back when George has to go to do the milking, but Fallon reckons she can manage alone for the last hour of the day. He asks if she will pay him in cash, but she's happier to keep it official and add it to his regular wages. Before he goes she wants to talk to him about the pub. She has got it right, hasn't she, Mum did apologise to him about the way she went off on one? [If she did it was not on air, and she and we are still waiting for him to apologise for his attitude and behaviour towards her. Chris.] He says that he guesses she did, and Fallon indulges in some special pleading about the strain Jolene was under after the attack. She suggests that the ball's in his court now: doesn't he think it's time to swallow his pride and go and clear the air? Nobody wants to be barred from the only pub in the village and it's a bit odd to bar yourself. He hadn't thought of it like that, and he and his mates have been drinking at the Crown and Cushion in Penny Hassett, which is all right and not that far [about a mile and a half. Chris] but as Fallon points out, not his local. He concedes that Fallon is right and it is handy being able to rock up at The Bull whenever he wants: maybe he'll pop in for a pint on his way home. Fallon knows Mum will be pleased to see him. He offers to load the dishwasher before he heads off but Fallon tells him it's OK, so he thanks her, then as he is about to leave asks whether she's happy with what he's done today. Very much so, she assures him, and he says that although he couldn't do the fancy coffees and that, he could if he had a bit of training, so he was wondering if she might need him while Emma's away on her course. Fallon doesn't think that would work: she couldn't poach him from his other duties on the farm. And she needs more than just a few hours here and there: she's got to get someone full time. Actually, she needs to get on with looking for them.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 12th April, 2024

Will tries to impose George's ideas on the new business, and Lilian has smelt a rat.

Characters: Alice, Lilian, Ed, Emma, Will, Kate
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Mel Ward
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Because Alice is having trouble straightening out a bridle that has a twisted bit, Lilian comments that Alice has not been on form all week and enquires whether Martha is still having sleepless nights; Alice keeps up her original lie and says that the child gets very clingy when she's poorly. Lilian points out that they have a big day today and need to be on top form for the vet inspection, so she will sort out the bridle while Alice makes herself a strong coffee.

The day with Jamie has made Ed wish he'd done some rock-climbing when he was younger, but he is more interested in a power saw in an online auction; because someone else has just bid £340 he raises his bid to £360. Emma is glad they went along, even though it meant George ended up covering for her in the tea-room, and Ed hopes he didn't make a fool of himself over what Emma describes as 'his little crush' on Fallon; when Emma goes in she will ask Fallon what she thought. Fallon will be advertising for Emma's temporary replacement soon, since the course is only a couple of weeks away. Another raised bid causes Ed to increase his to £391.95 just as Will comes in asking if he still wants a hand weaning the rest of the lambs; Will is told to wait because the auction is about to end, and Ed and Em are successful at about sixty per cent of the price new. [And at least £60 more than they'd originally bid. Chris.] Will congratulates them, and Ed says the bonus is that it's only in Greenbury [thirty miles away. Chris] so he'll be able to pick it up while he is doing some hay deliveries, which saves the delivery charge. And he can pay cash, too. Emma tells Will they haven't even started spending his loan yet; Ed was paid in cash for a job and Clarrie and Eddie gave them a hundred, which startles Will. Ed having all that on today means the weaning will be late afternoon, fourish, which is what Will was hoping because he and Eddie should have finished the patio by then. He goes away again, and when Ed says that's the first tool of the trade and isn't Emma glad, she just tells him she is still miffed with him about Grey Gables. She accepts that Ed didn't know what he was doing but he still has to make it up to her somehow.

Kate has turned up at The Stables wanting to talk about pet therapy. Alice thought Spiritual Home was already doing that, but Kate puts her right: she is thinking of goat yoga. After the new idea has been explained, Alice is dubious: wouldn't horses be a bit big? But Kate explains that people who ride often have pets as well, so when she's had some posters printed could they put one up for her? Wearily Alice agrees that she supposes they could put a poster up so long as it wasn't too big. Lilian now comes in wanting a word with Alice, but not in front of Kate, who witters on for a while before Lilian asks her to go away because she needs to speak to Alice. Kate then says they are all busy people, aren't they, and goes on her way. Lilian is not pleased with Alice: the inspection was a disaster, and the things that were found to be wrong were all of them what Lilian describes as 'basic'. As the manager it's Alice's job to ensure everything is absolutely pristine for the inspection. Alice flounders, claiming she will put it all right, but Lilian is still unhappy with her: if they lose their accreditation they'll be closed down. Alice saying it has just been a very difficult week because of Martha leads to Lilian pulling her up on that excuse: Lilian says she is rather confused about that, because, when she asked him, Chris didn't seem to know anything about Martha being ill. Alice claims not to have told him because he tends to fuss over every little thing where Martha is concerned; Lilian's 'really' oozes disbelief, and Alice saying Martha seems better now anyway is also questioned: Lilian thought she said Martha was still poorly last night. In a tone of concern, Lilian says that she knows Alice's life can be challenging, but they are running a business and a lot of people rely on them. Alice merely says that she promises she will get on top of things.

The last lamb to be weaned is being weighed, and while they do the job Ed and Will speak of such things as George discarding all Susan's videos and how he does seem to know what he's doing with filming; Ed has been told by Eddie that they are planning to record another Bartleby one over the weekend. Emma comes asking if Ed collected the chainsaw, and as he says that he did indeed, Will chimes in to tell her it looks really good. Ed smugly says it's a good combination, Grundy nous and 'Em and Ed' quality control. Emma is surprised he has changed the name from 'Ed and Em', which he tells her is one way of saying he's sorry about Grey Gables, and as they are discussing how to spell it Will suddenly breaks it to them that he doesn't think it should be any of those: he's been talking to George about this and they reckon it should be called 'Ultimate Arboriculture'. After a stunned silence broken only by peevish sheep, Ed asks him to say that again.

Lilian seeks out Kate, and wants to be reassured Brian is not in and won't interrupt them.

Will is extolling George's brilliant ideas for Ed and Em's business, which he seems to think is his. Ed knows George has done a one-week course but doesn't think that makes him a business genius. Will can see a rôle for George as, say, a 'marketing consultant', which Emma feels would be running before they were walking; Ed says they haven't even done the training yet. Emma refuses even to think about calling themselves 'Ultimate Arboriculture', which she can't even say: it sounds far too stuck up to her. Will patronisingly tells her that it's dressing for where they're going but can't remember the exact phrasing; Emma translates it for him as 'fake it till you make it', and he agrees eagerly. He says that he and George are looking ahead to when it's a major operation, maybe even a national business, so you want a name that will match the set-up then, not something that gives an image of a little family firm. Ed tells him that people round there are going to wet themselves if he turns up saying he's... Emma intervenes to tell Will that it's really great that he's thinking about what's best for the business, and (she adds with steel in her voice) they appreciate it, don't they, Ed. Ed takes the hint and agrees. She butters Will up a little more and thanks him, and he says it's his pleasure and he'd better be off, shouting back as he leaves they they must be sure to talk with George because there's a lot more where that idea came from. Ed doesn't doubt it. Once Will is out of earshot Emma agrees with Ed that the name is absolute bobbins.

What Lilian wants to know, without bothering Brian at this stage, is how Alice seemed to Kate when Kate was at The Stables earlier, talking to her. After some thought, Kate's reply is, 'perhaps a bit flat, distracted'; why does Lilian ask? Lilian is a bit worried about her: this past week she really hasn't been on the case, and Lilian even had to send her home once because she wasn't up to taking a lesson properly. Kate thinks that doesn't sound like Alice, so Lilian gives other examples of her having been less than fully on the ball, and what the consequence may be of the faults in the vet report; though that isn't the point. Kate asks whether Alice has given any reason, and Lilian replies that she has been blaming lack of sleep, which may be true but she claims it's because Martha has been unwell, and Lilian is pretty sure that's a pack of lies. Chris knew absolutely nothing about it; Kate agrees that he would certainly know if Martha were poorly. What it boils down to for Lilian, who really doesn't want to be right about this... Kate says it for her: she thinks Alice might be drinking again. And in all conscience, Lilian argues, given what she's been through this past year who could blame her? She's been grieving over Jennifer's death, and all the awful business with Harry must have taken its toll on her. But Lilian has no hard evidence of anything, and, since Alice is already fibbing to her, just coming out and asking her, well, she'll almost certainly deny it. So until Lilian is more certain she'd rather keep Brian out of the loop. Of all the family Kate is the closest to Alice, so Lilian is hoping she'd be willing to keep an eye out for any signs she's behaving oddly. Kate readily agrees: of course she will. Lilian is not at The Stables but when she is she will monitor her closely there. Kate hopes they are wrong, as does Lilian, but if Alice has had a relapse she's going to need all their help.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 14th April, 2024

Hannah hits a boundary; Kate and Lilian haven't got any.

Characters: Jazzer, Hannah, Harrison, Lilian, Kate, Alice
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
David Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

At the cricket match with Darrington, Jazzer congratulates Hannah on a great catch. Chris comes over and congratulates her too, before saying that Darrington are all out for 172 and beating them is definitely doable. Harrison feels they ought to be able to nail it without calling on her to bat at all, since she is last in the batting order; Hannah hopes he is right. Jazzer takes it upon himself to congratulate Harrison on his 'skippering' but then criticises it for being too polite and 'nicey-nicey': it's Darrington, and you don't clap them when they come out to bat, you give them some lip and let them know they're in a fight. Chris, sounding shocked, asks if he is talking about sledging, but Jazzer asserts that it is psychological warfare. When Chris tells him they're not doing that, but letting the sport do the talking, Jazzer can't understand why not and says so at some length. Harrison repeats that he has made it clear he's not having sledging, and, when Jazzer insists that Darrington are sure to do it, says that in that case the Ambridge team will just rise above it. When Jazzer asserts it's not against the rules, Harrison informs him that's the laws, not the rules, and he knows nothing about cricket: becoming heated, Harrison adds that Joy Horville, over there, first time spectator, has picked up more about it in one afternoon than Jazzer has in a lifetime, so if Harrison was Jazzer he'd keep his dodgy opinions to himself. Jazzer at once accuses Harrison of sledging him.

In order to go on worrying about Alice in company, Lilian has sought out Kate again and they agree they aren't sure about Alice drinking, though Kate thinks it is 'early days': there were signs last time and she hasn't seen any, but she didn't spot them last time [from RSA? Chris] and she blames herself for that. After Kate's beaten her breast for a bit Lilian suggests that maybe this time they could be better prepared, but she's been wondering if it's enough just keeping their eyes open: shouldn't they be doing more than that? Neither of them is able to think what else to do; Kate is not sure about the idea of telling Chris, as mooted by Lilian, who says she is just thinking of Martha; of course they must think of Martha, but wouldn't Chris just take her away? That would just make things worse. [And would be illegal, as well as stupid even by Archers standards. Chris.] Lilian emotes a bit about 'poor' Martha ('that little girl') and 'knowing what they know' [which is actually nothing whatever. Chris] and asserts that they have to do something. Kate decides that what they should do is talk to Alice and put it to her, as carefully as they can.

There is great excitement on the cricket ground as Darrington take the fifth Ambridge wicket; Adam, Tom and George were out in quick succession, George for a single run, and Hannah starts to worry that she may have to go in to bat after all. Jazzer puts his oar in again to say that is the result of well-directed aggression, and Harrison gives him very short shrift: they sledged him and he got out, but that is down to George. Whilst Hannah worries about needing more practice, Harrison tells Jazzer off and also points out that Chris is still in. Jazzer decides to go home and come back at about half-six to pick Tracy up, when he assumes it will all be over.

The visit to Alice does not go well. At first Alice is welcoming as she gets spaghetti ready for Martha, before anything has been suggested about alcohol, but as soon as Kate and Lilian mention stress and pressure, Alice decides that they are there to accuse her of hitting the bottle, and goes on the attack. They have no right to assume she is drinking. When Lilian protests that's not what they're saying, Alice states that they are. She's had this from Chris, did she go out drinking with Harry, were they drink-buddies, and now she is getting it from them, her own family turning on her. Shrilly and at increasing volume she tells them that yes, she is under pressure, looking after Martha and running The Stables, and the split from Harry, but she makes it work: do they think that's a sign she's drinking? Does it not occur to them that it might prove that she's actually managing perfectly well? When Lilian tries to get through to her that this is not what they meant she simply retorts that is exactly what it sounds like; and now if they will excuse her she has to give Martha her tea. Kate suggests that maybe they should go, but Alice tells them to wait where they are: this is not done yet.

As the cricket winds towards the close, Harrison is shouting instructions to run one and Jazzer, who has just returned, is shouting conflicting (and utterly unhelpful) instructions, under the impression that running two instead of one is always a good thing. As a result of their running two Hannah is left to face the bowling; because of another collapse after which Rex got a few before he was out and Chris managed to stay in, she's been in for half an hour batting with Chris at the other end, and it's the last over, with Ambridge needing three to win. [This mirrors every boys' school story published between about 1880 and PG Wodehouse's 'Mike' in 1909, which latter took the piss so wonderfully that the cliché fell somewhat into desuetude. Chris.] To no listener's surprise, after two balls without a run Hannah scores four by getting her bat in the way of a fast bouncer and whacking it, as loudly advocated by Jazzer.

Having been left by Alice to cool their heels while she tends to her child, Lilian and Kate are fairly fed up by the time Alice reappears and tells them that since they obviously don't believe what she tells them about not drinking she is happy to provide them with medical proof that she is staying sober: she will pick them both up at nine tomorrow morning and they can come with her to her routine check up and review with the doctor, who will be able to prove that she is completely sober. [Prove it how? Chris.] Neither wants to do this, but she vehemently and vituperatively insists it is necessary.

At The Bull Hannah and Chris are dissecting the last over: apparently what Hannah hit was a classic square cut, even though she says she had her eyes shut. He has been thinking: when she said they could go out for a drink, and he said no? She quickly tells him that it doesn't matter, but he says that they could though. He means, go out for a drink. As mates, he means. Maybe one evening this week? They agree on Tuesday.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 15th April, 2024

Alice and Lily seem confident they know what they are doing; others are not so sure.

Characters: Oliver, Lily, Alice, Azra, Kate, Harrison
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
David Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Demonstrating the way her mind works, Lily interprets Oliver talking about Chris and Hannah's glorious (last wicket) stand as being about a one night stand, but manages very clumsily to retrieve her mistake without Oliver taking it in. He tells her that Grey Gables has an interesting week ahead if she's around, which she says she can arrange to be if it would help. They have the Lord Mayor of Felpersham, Ruby Cosse, and her husband coming for the night on Wednesday and he wants to impress her. Lily tells him they also have the winners of the Bull's Easter Egg Relay Prize coming in on Wednesday; not Chris, who actually won, but Harrison and Fallon. Lily has just seen Harrison, who is there for a 'crime assessment'; Oliver would like a word with him before he disappears, if Lily happens to see him. Oliver feels Chris is on a rich vein of sporting form, with eggs and runs.

When asked, Dr Malik initially doesn't mind Alice's sister sitting in at the appointment; she says a third person can be useful. Alice tells her there would have been a fourth but her aunt apparently can't make it, which the doctor greets with less enthusiasm. She is introduced to Kate, and tells her to ask if there is anything she's not clear about, but Kate feels that is unlikely: as far as she can see she is not there to ask questions, and Alice breaks in to say that Kate is there to confirm something for her and then to pass that on to her aunt, or so Alice is told, anyway. Dr Malik says she sees, then is unsure she does. Alice says that she has told them herself what they want to know, but they are not inclined to believe what she says, it seems. Kate protests sotto voce that she hasn't said that: when did she ever say that? Dr Malik, increasingly unsure about what is going on, wants to know if Kate is there to support Alice, though; Alice laughs falsely. Support? She hardly thinks so! Dr Malik frostily enquires whether she can ask what the three of them are there for, because she has to say it is getting less and less clear as they speak.

Lily has gone to find Harrison, and tells him that she will be on Reception when he and Fallon come in on Wednesday and will do everything in her power to make sure their stay is all that they hope for. Harrison tells her that sounds impressive, and asks about extras: spa treatments, say? Dinner for two? Cocktails? She explains that the booking is just bed and breakfast, and Harrison says with a laugh that he's just having her on. He is not quite disparaging about the various treatments on offer, but makes it clear that all they are expecting is the room, possibly springing for dinner themselves. She's sure they'll have a memorable stay, with which he politely agrees, adding that if they do, maybe he can put a little more business their way: they have the police ball coming up later in the year and he's been asked to suss the facilities out, see what's changed since the refurb. Lily offers to put some figures together for him if he'd like, or, better still, if he has time he could take a quick look at the spaces they have available and see what he thinks of them.

An exasperated Dr Malik feels that she has to say that Alice using her this way is inappropriate. Medical time and medical resources are precious commodities and are not provided to settle family arguments. Alice apologises, repeatedly, and Kate asserts that this was never her intention, and when Dr Malik says that it looked that way to her Alice says it was her fault and she wanted to prove a point. Because Kate said she was drinking again? asks Dr Malik; Kate makes sure she knows that Kate never said that, and nor did Lilian. Dr Malik thinks she ought to see Alice on her own now that's been cleared up, Alice apologises for dragging Kate there, and Kate, in a brave and understanding voice, says that's all right because Alice is all right and that's all they wanted to know. She'll be in the waiting room when Alice is ready. When she has gone out Dr Malik tells Alice she has been through a lot, and praises her for having got this far. Alice is downbeat: it's just all the same day after day; Dr Malik gives her a pep talk, and Alice's response is that she is not drinking, she really is not. Dr Malik asks whether keeping it up worries her, and Alice confesses that she thinks that's why she flared up at her sister and aunt: the fear of falling.

Lily is showing off the conference rooms at Grey Gables in a definitely disparaging way, the reason for which becomes clear when she tries to sell Harrison the idea of the police ball going to Lower Loxley instead, holding out both non-modernity and a willingness to negotiate price as inducements. She has got well into her stride when Oliver arrives calling for her, and Harrison, who has been playing the gormless idiot while the hard sell was going on [and it might have been an act rather than the light of his nature. Chris] nearly manages to tell Oliver what she was up to in the most innocent way imaginable; she only just manages to stop him. When Oliver mentions that they are seeing him again on Wednesday Harrison says he is looking forward to being spoiled rotten, and Oliver at once offers to leave half a bottle of champagne in his room; Lily will make sure about that, won't she. Before Harrison goes away Oliver wants to hear his over all impressions of security measures, the big question being whether they invest in a better quality CCTV; Harrison will give it some thought and see him later, which since checking on the security at the hotel was the ostensible reason for his being there at all seems the least he can do. When Oliver has left the great echoing space they are suddenly in, Harrison suggests to Lily that she wants to be careful with which hat she is wearing: working for Grey Gables and selling Lower Loxley while she's doing it? She could find herself playing a dangerous game, with dangerous consequences if things don't go according to plan. Lily assures him that they will go to plan, and she knows exactly what she is doing.

On Ambridge village green, Dr Malik encounters Alice and at once assures her that she is not stalking her and that 'Azra' is fine outside work; she has just been to look around Beechwood because she might find something there. If the stars align she might be moving into Ambridge. She thinks she could live at Beechwood. They apologise mutually for what happened earlier. After a little light stroking about how well Alice is doing, Azra says she has been thinking: Alice helps other people who have the same problem as her, and that's good, up to a point, but she will need to be careful: it's not easy doing that, and you have to look after yourself first. She might need to keep herself at a distance, to be completely safe.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 16th April, 2024

Opportunity knocks twice for Chelsea, while Hannah just gets knocked back.

Characters: Alice, Harry, Chelsea, Jazzer, Fallon, Chris, Hannah
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
David Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Most unfortunately, Alice has forgotten she'd agreed to go with Harry to his first support group meeting tonight, and has not arranged for someone to look after Martha. When he rings to remind her and discovers that she won't be able to turn up after all, he assures her that he can go on his own, but she is determined to help him whether he wants her to or not.

In spite of Chelsea repeatedly making it clear that she has seen the most recent Bartleby podcast, and knows who is voicing him, and has seen Mr Ed on YouTube, Jazzer insists on telling her about them. Chelsea is waiting outside the tea-room for Fallon to arrive and open up, and therefore cannot simply walk away, but makes no secret of her exasperation with Jazzer going on telling her what she already knows, and why Jazzer is hanging about outside the tea-room is not made clear, though he gave Chelsea a lift there. When Fallon does arrive Chelsea reminds her she said she'd bring some pictures for Fallon to look at before Chelsea does her hair later, and when she starts to get them out Jazzer finally takes himself off. Fallon makes it clear she doesn't want her hairdo to be radical, and asks Chelsea to send her the pictures on her phone later because she now has to open up the tea-room. As she is doing so, Chelsea sees the notice on the door about needing someone to cover for Emma while she is on her course, and then, Fallon tells her, stay on permanently [which I don't think Emma has realised. Chris]. Chelsea is much taken with the idea and reckons she could do that, as well as working at The Orangery and doing hairdressing. Fallon says she will have a word with Natasha and see what she thinks.

Alice hails Chris to ask if he can have Martha for the night, but he can't: he awkwardly explains that he has a date with the cricket team. She claims that a meeting, Stables business, has had to be rearranged and she only found out about it this morning. He suggests asking his mum, or Brian, and that he must be off to a nine o'clock appointment in Penny Hassett; he pauses to add that if she can't find anyone she must come back to him. She rushes off saying she'll try Brian or Susan but thanking him as a star, just as Hannah comes up and asks how he is and remarking that Alice is in a hurry. He laughs about Alice always being busy with meetings and stuff, always something going on. Hannah has just nipped out because they've run out of milk at Berrow, and asks if he is still all right for tonight; he assures her that he is looking forward to it.

Jazzer has now caught Chelsea again, and tells her that he has just dropped into The Bull to see Tracy before heading home, and got talking to Kenton and Jolene; does Chelsea know what they said? 'Was I there?' asks Chelsea; did he see her there? When he says of course not, she tells him that in that case no, she doesn't know what they said. Slightly derailed, Jazzer tells her they were saying about Emma leaving and might Chelsea be interested in replacing her? Chelsea, slightly storbumfurkled, asks whether he means they want her in particular, and Jazzer assures her that they do. He thinks it's because of Tracy they asked: they know she's good and they want more of the same. Jazzer says she and her mum would make a great team, and Chelsea, touched, thanks him for that. She can't do it, though: she has an appointment to see Natasha on Thursday about working at the tea-room, covering for Emma. Jazzer thinks that's a bummer, and Chelsea agrees, but then has a thought of her own: she may not be able to do both jobs, but she could do both interviews and if they both say yes, she could see if she can get them to up their offers. She doesn't know how just yet, but she'll work on it.

Fallon finds Hannah sitting alone at The Bull and, after some chat about Fallon's hair and Chris having been so kind to give his night at Grey Gables to Harrison and Fallon, gets it out of Hannah that she was meant to be meeting Chris for a drink, but when she was already half-way to the pub he rang cancelling because he had to look after Martha; Alice had an unexpected business meeting. Hannah reckoned that she might as well go on and have a drink anyway now she was out. Fallon thinks that being so considerate to Alice is just like Chris, and invites Hannah to join her and Jolene, but Hannah is planning to finish her drink and make her way home.

Alice has rung Chris to tell him the meeting is just finished and ask how Martha is; she is fine. Chris asks how the meeting went (Alice thinks they made good progress) and what it was about; Alice spins a fable about updating stuff and getting better lighting on the outdoor arenas and that sort of thing. She has to go: someone wants a word with her. Chris asks when she can pick up Martha in the morning and they agree on 'by eight'. No sooner has she rung off than Harry gets into the car apologising for the delay; he just wanted to double-check when the next meeting was. She congratulates him on how well he managed, and he says he did very little, just sat there really. She tells him that he engaged with the group, so it was great. He thanks her for being there and then has the great idea of turning up at her meeting later in the week, as a sort of return for her kindness; Alice is clearly horrified by the idea, and manages to convince him that there is no need because, having been to one meeting already this week, she doesn't feel the need for another. Harry realises that it puts her through it too and she has her own battles to fight; she doesn't want all his too. She protests that she doesn't look at it like that, but he is serious: she's right. She got him there tonight, he's made a start (a good one, she interjects) and he's feeling all right about it, quite capable of doing it for himself. In fact, he should do it for himself: he doesn't need his hand held. Alice reminds him that she's said she'll help, but he wants to know at what cost. He doesn't want to add all these complications to her life. Let him do this on his own. She temporises: if she can get in touch from time to time, just to see how he is doing. He jokingly 'grants her permission' to do that. Meanwhile, she is not to worry: he's been put on the right track, and he'll be fine.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 17th April, 2024

Come back, Brian Rix – all is forgiven.

Characters: Fallon, Harrison, Brad, Lily, Ruby Cosse
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
David Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Fallon and Harrison pack for their night at Grey Gables, discussing how nice it will be to get away from it all even for only one night. Fallon is packing a bag which contains a special surprise for the evening, but refuses to allow Harrison to see it or know what it is.

Meanwhile, Lily is busy instructing Brad in how to address and behave towards an important guest [so the most important guest they have had so far is a Lord Mayor? Clearly it's a tinpot dump. Chris] and managing to alarm and confuse him very thoroughly.

The Lord Mayor, Mrs Ruby Cosse, and her totally silent husband, Malcolm, arrive at Grey Gables at the same time as Fallon and Harrison, and there is ample opportunity for Brad to become even more confused. He absolutely insists on carrying their bags up to their rooms even though neither couple actually wants him to.

The room is very luxurious and Harrison and Fallon are delighted with it. However, when Fallon opens their suitcase she realises that it is in fact not theirs, and that this means theirs must have been taken to the Lord Mayor's room by mistake. [Because of course everyone has identical luggage, so it wasn't obvious from the moment they stepped into the room that they had been given the wrong suitcase. Chris.] Horrified, she insists they must rush to reception immediately and get the bags exchanged before the other couple open theirs. When pressed, she reveals to Harrison that the special bag contained costumes: Maid Marian and the Sheriff of Nottingham. Harrison thinks this is funny. Fallon does not.

Obviously (according to Lily, anyway) this mix-up is 'down to Brad'. He accepts full responsibility and is full of apologies, though he says the cases look just the same (and Lily says they have labels, so no, they don't) but Fallon and Harrison don't really care: they just want their suitcase, now. Lily and Brad set off to rectify the mistake.

Once they are upstairs, Brad is sent by Lily to discover whether the Lord Mayor and her silent husband Malcolm are in their room. After amusing [Liar. Gus] confusion it is established that they are not, the suitcase is taken from their room and the door shut again. Lily then realises she and Brad now have two suitcases, since they didn't put the Cosse case into the room before closing the door again. Before they can effect this replacement Ruby Cosse, and her silent husband Malcolm, arrive, and she wants to know what is going on. Brad starts to babble about hotel inspectors, but Lily shuts him up and invents an excuse about the lack of complimentary chocolates on their pillows. She also claims that their case was temporarily unattended and since she was unsure where they were she was going to put it into a secure store. Ruby Cosse (and her silent husband Malcolm) have been for a walk in the grounds and have admired their planting schemes, and she praises the place; she thinks it might be ideal for a ceremonial Autumn retreat. They now plan to dress for dinner, and want their case. Brad picks up what he later admits was a random case and gives it to them; Lily at first thinks he was clever to tell which one it should be, and is then taken aback when he tells her he didn't know, he just figured there was a fifty-fifty chance he would get it right and that was a risk worth taking. Lily despairingly opens the case they still have [rather than simply looking at its label. Chris], and is sure from one quick look that it is definitely Fallon's case.

After being assured by Lily that they have their case back unopened, Fallon and Harrison have gone down to dinner, and as they are finishing a nightcap before retiring again they are approached by Mrs Cosse ('please! Ruby!') on the pretext of wondering how their meal was. She tells them to enjoy the rest of their evening, then adds 'And Maid Marian, hmmm?' As Fallon exclaims and flounders, Ruby tells them that was quite inspiring and has given her plenty to think about, and wishes them a good night. Fallon is horrified: Ruby must have opened the case after all. Harrison thinks there will have to be an interview under caution – with Maid Marian, in Room 105, where she'll find the Sheriff of Nottingham waiting for her. [Words cannot begin to describe how completely unalluring the way that he said this was. Chris.] [Think 'cold liver with custard'. Gus.]

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 18th April, 2024

Chelsea thinks she is a player, and Brad silences Lily by being wrong in the wrong way.

Characters: Natasha, Chelsea, Lily, Brad, Mick, Kenton
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
David Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Using all the right phrases in her interview for the job at the tea-room, Chelsea sells herself to Natasha, then tells her that she has to be somewhere by half-ten and doesn't want to be late: that would be rude. Natasha will let her know whether she has got the job as soon as she can, maybe by close of play today.

At Grey Gables' reception, Lily wants to know what the matter is with Brad and when he tells her he is worrying about the suitcase mix-up, which was entirely his fault, she agrees with him that it was. He has worked out that he ought to have looked at the labels rather than the cases and describes this as a basic error; she tells him that he shouldn't dwell on it and gives him some instructions about seeing it as a learning experience, and how to do his job [which he has been doing quite well for three months or so without her patronising him. Chris], managing to confuse and upset him again by telling him to be happy because Harrison and Fallon enjoyed their experience in spite of his blunder. She tells him that the next person who comes through that door, he is to move in and offer a cheerful smile, tea and a warm pastry, and to be sure to get their room number so he can charge them. She then abandons him to take charge of the reception desk because she has to see Oliver, and swans off: if he has any problems, just ring the bell or phone through to Roy. No sooner is she out of earshot then the next person comes through the door, and Brad leaps into action, greeting him and offering him coffee or tea, and a pastry; Mick (for it is Joy's boyfriend) opts for tea and a swirly pastry, and Brad assures him he will 'activate' that for him. Before he does, he asks for Mick's room number and discovers that he doesn't have one, not being a guest. He's there to see Roy Tucker to interview for the security job.

Like Natasha, Kenton is impressed by Chelsea's interview style; he has to talk it through with Jolene and Lilian, but he'll let her know as soon as he can, hopefully by some time this evening.

When asked if he is free this evening, Brad flounders until Lily makes it clear that what she wants is for him to do an extra shift this evening, when he tells her that he can. She then proceeds to lecture him yet again about how, in her opinion, he should behave. She lists his faults and mistakes, with more-or-less accuracy and considerable vigour, not allowing him to speak or defend himself. [She mispronounces 'pain aux raisins', which casts a certain amount of doubt on her superiority but shows clearly that she is following in the footsteps of Lynda Snell, only without the charm or kindness. Chris.] Brad has been reduced to unhappy mumbling and begging her not to tell Roy about the freebie he has inadvertently given to Mick when Mick himself comes out of his interview full of the joys of Spring because he and Roy really hit it off. He thinks the job could really work for him, since he is planning to be a bit more active in the area and perhaps ultimately move to Ambridge, but he would like them to keep it under their hats: he wants it to be a surprise for Joy, his lady-friend. He is going to spring it on her when the time is right. Brad promises not to tell a soul, and Mick calls him 'good old Brad' and confides that Brad really helped him out; not just with free tea, but by being so kind and helpful when Mick was nervous about the interview and putting Mick at his ease. Grey Gables has a good worker there: they want to make sure they look after him.

Kenton has rung, and asks Chelsea if it is a good time to talk; she is on the green heading home for her lunch, so it is. Since she is not far from The Bull he asks if she'd like to call back in, but she says if it is about the job he can tell her now. She claims to be on her own, which makes Brad expostulate loudly enough to be heard over the phone so that she has to tell Kenton that Brad is there, between shifts, but he doesn't count. Kenton tells her the job is hers if she still wants it. She expresses pleasure but tells him (while Brad interrupts to say loudly that she does, she does! and has to be quashed) that she will have to think about it. He is surprised, Brad is astounded, and she promises to call Kenton later in the day. Brad doesn't understand why she has only said 'maybe', and she explains that the tea-room has offered her a job too. Brad is impressed, and she tells him she plans to go for the one that makes the best offer: at the moment they are both offering the same, but it's not going to stay like that.

Brad is a whole minute late for his evening shift and arrives apologising, but Lily seems more mellow than she was earlier. She just wanted to see him before she went home, and he expects the worst and asks what he has done wrong this time, but no: she just wanted to say, after Mick said what he said, that she thinks Mick's right and Brad knows what's important and wants to help people like he helped Mick. This reversal of her superior attitude earlier throws Brad at first, until she says that she has been being too hard on him, and then he thinks he understands what is going on; she apologises and says she should be more tolerant, and he tells her that's all right, and he does know why it is. It's what girls do sometimes. He's in love with Mia. This non-sequitur baffles Lily, who proclaims that she doesn't know what to say and then stammers as he goes on, so he explains: he doesn't want her to worry about it or anything; someone will come along for her in time, and he's sure she'll find someone. Lily, struggling, says that she supposes she'll just have to wait, and Brad says consolingly that they do get on, though, don't they: they sort things out between them, her and him, the cases and the note thing, they're a bit of a team. Lily agrees that they are definitely that, a bit of a team.

Kenton has served Natasha with a gin and tonic, and goes on telling Natasha about the interview with Chelsea. Natasha is ahead of him, and explains that Chelsea has told each of them that she'd had another offer, for a bit more, and, since she really wanted to work for the one she was talking to, she hoped they might up their offer. She is playing them, exclaims Kenton as the penny drops.. Since neither of them did offer her more, they now agree that they won't, but Natasha thinks they should make her wait before they tell her, and Kenton agrees. A week, perhaps... that should do it.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 19th April, 2024

Rich, moist, and stuffed with idiocy.

Characters: Alice, Lilian, Mick, Kirsty, Harry
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
David Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Alice makes a suggestion about adding another lesson to the summer timetable on weekday afternoons, to which Lilian listens, then says she doesn't mind either way. This leads to her explaining that she feels she is treading on eggshells where Alice is concerned, and that in turn leads to mutual acknowledgement of the apologies each has made. Alice agrees that she was quite angry, but explains that she had a word with the doctor about it and accepted it when the doctor told her that Lilian and Kate came to see her because they cared and that she should be grateful to have people like them on her side. Each of them apologises for having failed to realise the other's apology at the time. They decide that they are forgiven and should stop saying 'sorry' now: no more eggshells. Alice feels she can face the world and, as Lilian remarks, all that it throws at them; or at least, the summer timetable.

Having got the job at Grey Gables – in part, he claims, because Brad and Lily were so welcoming and put him at his ease Mick is now helping Kirsty at the rewilding. He reports that Brad told him Chelsea had two interviews, at The Bull and at the tea-room, and got offered both jobs; she will choose whichever offers most, according to Brad. Kirsty wishes her luck, but wants to get on because there's stacks to do, and Mick admits he doesn't know what the day is about; Rex didn't go into much detail, just said he could do with some help. So Kirsty explains that 19th April this year is Primrose Day [which on that date is a celebration of Benjamin Disraeli, which she doesn't mention. The plant is celebrated on National Primrose day, 5th February. Chris] and the rewilding is running school workshops, mostly for years five and six, using the primrose as a starting point for artwork, wild flowers in general, a bit of birdwatching... Mick's comment is 'Lovely. Lovely stuff.' Today, Kirsty goes on, they have special guests: the Lord Mayor of Felpersham [not the plain old 'Mayor of Felpersham' like the one who was in Ambridge in 2017. Chris] and a couple of Felpersham teachers who might want to do the same with their schools. Apparently Ruby Cosse is a keen rewilder and has been visiting projects like the Ambridge one up and down the country hoping to encourage similar schemes more locally. She would no doubt go on, but Mick interrupts to say it's all hands to the pumps, then; it would be, agrees Kirsty, but they have a problem: no primroses. The path is set up and signposted, but there are no primroses on it: they have all been picked by a previous school trip. Mick points out that there are are loads in clumps elsewhere, so the signposts could be moved to take the path round them; this idea strikes Kirsty all of a heap, and when he offers to move the signs she is over the moon. She is astounded by the notion that he can mark out a new path by eleven.

Alice rings Harry, and when he answers he is obviously drunk. She finds out that he is still at home and has been drinking since it got dark, tells him he needs someone with him, and prepares to rush over there.

Kirsty has another crisis and has come to tell Mick she has so much to do and have a hysterical fit at him, listing a lot of problems that have arisen, including the fact that Ruby Cosse is gluten intolerant. This last means that she cannot be given the cake which Kirsty has got for her as a thank-you from the rewilding project. Mick sensibly suggests that since he has finished signposting the new walk, he could nip off down to the Bridge Farm tea-room and see if they've got anything gluten free. Once again she is greatly taken with his brilliance, though when he suggests the other one could be given to the kids she says no, no, not kids and cake: it could be a health and safety disaster area.

Alice goes to persuade Lilian to fetch Martha from nursery for her but denies there is any sort of problem; she has been talking with some prospective clients the other side of Borchester and has promised she will call on them for a face-to-face; they have asked if she will do this morning, like, now. Lilian can't help: she has an appointment in Borchester herself. Alice realises she has to try Brian, and rushes off to do so.

Mick admires the original cake, as decorated with yellow ribbons by Kirsty, and since it was no good for Her Worship and too risky for the kids, she gives it to him as a reward for volunteering and saving the day. Apparently he found gluten-free buns for Mrs Cosse, and she is thinking of getting Kirsty and Rex to come in as consultants. He tries to refuse the gift, but Kirsty tells him to take it or she'll turn nasty. He thanks her; he'll share it with Joy. He confides that Joy is the main reason he went for the job at Grey Gables; it will give him a foothold to be a bit closer. Kirsty wishes him luck, and he says it is to be a surprise and swears her to secrecy.

Harry is indeed very drunk and incoherent, and when Lilian rings, Alice tells him she has to answer but he is to keep quiet. Lilian has changed her appointment in case Alice still needs her; Alice tells her she has fixed it and it's all good but is unable to get her off the phone before Harry starts making loud remarks, which Lilian is able to hear. After Alice rings off she tells Harry angrily that Lilian was trying to help, and Alice had to lie to her. This is what she is doing now: lying to her family! She can't keep doing that. No, Harry concurs owlishly, she shouldn't: he doesn't want her to do that. It keeps happening, Alice proclaims: she keeps having to lie; Harry protests that she put him on his feet and is his lifeline, but she cries out that she can't be that for him. He exclaims that she is, she is; she tells him desperately that he has to understand: she feels that she is being dragged into a pit, she's been there before and she can't let it happen again. In spite of his arguing that it won't, she lays it loudly on the line: she can't help him any more, or keep clearing up after him. Please, she begs him, he must find a way to help himself! She wants him to help himself because she can't do this any more.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 21st April, 2024

Ed is having sudden Doubts; Denise is still dithering.

Characters: Denise, Alistair, Alice, Fallon, Joy, Harrison, Ed, Laura
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The veterinary surgery, as is usual on a Sunday, has an emergency patient which has necessitated Alistair and Denise turning out to treat it, though Denise has now been able to ring Miriam and tell her Rita is ready to collect and will need to be brought back tomorrow to get the dressings changed. The two humans are still verbally walking round each other carefully, and regretting that they have to do so; they haven't had an ordinary conversation in weeks. They agree to try to be more normal. Denise says she is not doing much for the rest of the day, while Alistair is due at a cricket match. Little Croxley apparently has a new captain, and Alistair has heard that she has really stepped up their game so it might not be the easy win Ambridge were expecting but promises to be a really thrilling game. Denise is not convinced by 'thrilling', so Alistair suggests that if she is at a loose end she can come and see for herself. She can't: she's sure it will be a very interesting game, but she should probably be at home; John's back. Alistair remarks that she hadn't said, and she explains he only got back on Friday and it all happened quite quickly: she's hardly seen him and they haven't had a chance to talk. Alistair wishes her good luck.

It's a fine day and much of Ambridge has turned up for the cricket match against Little Croxley, with Alice telling Martha not to go on the pitch because she doesn't want her child to get bonked on the head with a cricket ball, and Fallon coming over to be wittered at about Martha. Joy has turned up to watch an away game for the first time, because it is a lovely afternoon, and thinks the new pavilion is very posh. She's brought some bits and pieces with her: sausage roll, anyone?

Ed has been roped in to replace Will on the team, and got fifteen runs; he thinks this pathetic, but Harrison reassures him those fifteen runs might make all the difference. He is to stand next to Harrison and catch any ball that comes their way [which presumably means there is a gap in the field somewhere else. Chris] [unless they're in the slips. Gus] and when Harrison asks about his course says a lot about how keen Emma is on what they are doing. A catch then comes in their direction and Ed holds it, to tremendous applause; it turns out to have come off the pad rather than the bat, as Alistair witnesses, so all Ed did was stop it rather than getting someone out; Harrison withdraws his appeal.

It seems to be Ed's afternoon, as Joy and Alice applaud another of the Little Croxley team being out and say 'well done Ed'. As Joy says, you'd hardly know he's almost never played. Maybe all he needed was a cup of tea; speaking of which, Joy will go and see if the queue has died down. Fallon takes the opportunity of her absence to thank Alice for having persuaded Harry to turn up and speak for Harrison. It must have taken a lot for her to get in touch with Harry after what had happened. Still, at least she doesn't have to have anything to do with him any more. Alice disclaims, and doesn't mention having seen Harry since.

In the pavilion [according to Ed the following day. Chris] after the match Joy congratulates Alistair on having been 'absolutely electric' out there; she had no idea cricket could be such a passionate game. The Little Croxley captain, Laura, intervenes to say it can, but only if you play it right; when Joy exclaims that she really enjoyed it, Laura ruefully says she is glad someone did, and it becomes evident that Ambridge won. Joy goes off to congratulate Hannah on her bowling, and Laura stays to buy Alistair a drink as thanks for his having backed her up over the catch that wasn't. He has to decline it because he has one already and will be driving home; she suggests some other time, and he agrees to the idea quite eagerly.

Harrison has bought Ed a drink as thanks for stepping in, then wants to continue the conversation they started about the tree surgery before they were interrupted by That Catch. He got the idea from it that Emma is very keen but Ed perhaps isn't. Ed eventually confides that he has been given a fright about the whole business by something the man selling the safety gear told him about how necessary that gear is. Ed already knew the job was dangerous, of course he did, but then he went home and looked it up on line, and has discovered [rather late in the day! Chris] that tree surgery is one of the most high-risk jobs you can do. He lists things in the job which can kill people, and Harrison tries to make matters better by pointing out that he is no stranger to dangerous work; this really isn't reassuring, and Ed just says miserably that he doesn't want to die in some stupid accident and leave Em and the kids, and if something ever happened to Em... Harrison calls a halt: let's not get carried away. That's why you do the training, so you know exactly what you're doing and you do it in the safest way possible. Ed hasn't told Emma how he's feeling, and when Harrison suggests that perhaps he should he says 'no way'; this is their chance. They have borrowed money and put everything they have against it, so there's no backing out now.

Laura has put her number into Alistair's phone, then dials it from his phone so that she now has his number. Then she has to go before the team think she's trying to get out of buying her round; she instructs him to give her a ring when he wants to call in that drink. No sooner is she gone than Denise calls to Alistair: she decided to come and catch the end of the match. It was indeed thrilling, and she takes back what she said earlier. But why is he looking worried? He isn't worried, but he is a bit confused: he thought she ... How's John? She's sorry, and she knows Alistair is waiting, but she doesn't really know; they still haven't talked, though she managed to say that they needed to because she had been unhappy for a while. He then claimed he had arranged to see his friend Steve and didn't want to let him down, and could they talk about this another time, so they still haven't. She doesn't know if that was true or just a way to get out of something he knows won't go well; she doesn't know anything any more. She is just so exhausted by it all. Alistair is sorry, and it does sound exhausting. She just wants someone to say everything will be all right, but when Alistair obligingly says 'everything will be all right' she asks if it really will, and he has to say that he really doesn't know.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 22nd April, 2024

In which Henry behaves like a grown-up, unlike, e.g., Alice.

Characters: Henry, Harrison, Alice, Harry, Helen
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

On his return to Ambridge on the school bus, Henry approaches Harrison Burns outside the shop; he seems happy to chat about this and that, such as having brought home a Thai green curry he has made in class, but his actual purpose is to ask about playing cricket for Ambridge.

There is an unwelcome visitor on the doorstep when Alice opens her door: it's Harry. He didn't ring her because he knew she wouldn't answer a call from him, and he needed to see her in person so that she can see he has stopped drinking. He is ostensibly there to tell her that he has got a place in a rehab centre and he goes later this week. This pleases her, and she speaks with him about managing to walk in there, encouraging him to do it; he says he has run out of other options, although he is terrified of actually going there, and is preparing to leave when she invites him in for a cup of tea.

Harrison has driven over to the tea-room to see if Fallon wants a lift home, and Helen warns him the shop is about to close. He mentions her supper tonight being Henry's Thai green curry, which amuses her and gives her the opportunity to be disparaging about the veggie chilli Henry left at the bottom of his school bag for two days. Harrison asks Helen to thank Henry for giving him an idea: his asking about playing cricket got Harrison thinking, why don't we revive the Ambridge youth team? [Probably because you can't revive something which has never existed. Chris.] He rattles on about this while Helen takes in the idea; after he has offered to do some practice with Henry tomorrow evening she explains that she is a bit confused because as far as she knows, Henry hates cricket. Harrison is now confused: Henry wanted to join the adults' team and seemed very disappointed when he was told he couldn't until he was eighteen. He did seem very keen.

Some time after he was first allowed into the house, Harry has read Martha her bed-time story at the child's request, and is being lyrical about how persuasive she is and how he loves her. He thanks Alice for letting him have dinner with them both, even though he didn't mean to come in at all and doesn't want Alice to think ... Alice swiftly says she doesn't think anything; it was she who invited him in and she who suggested he stay for dinner. He points out that technically, that was Martha. Anyhow, Alice feels it has been nice, and she's glad she could answer some of his questions about treatment. She hopes he feels less terrified now, and he assures her that he does, at least a bit. He just feels as if he were about to do a parachute jump: he knows there is no going back and he's got to do it, but he also really, really doesn't want to jump. She understands, and tells him how she was still in denial when she went to rehab, which as far as she knows he isn't. No, not at the moment, he affirms, but it's still scary. She reminds him that what he must hold at the front of his mind is that doing this will give him the best possible chance of recovery: he can't go it alone, and having treatment means he doesn't have to because there's a whole team of people there to support him. He is worried in case he can't make it even with all that support: what if he just can't stop drinking? [Then he'll die. Will it really matter very much? Gus and Chris.] Alice points out that he has stopped; unfortunately he is aware that is only true right now: what about tomorrow, and the next day, and the next time he's happy, or sad, or bored, or depressed, and he can't manage it then? She is firm that you are only allowed to think about today: thinking about the future is too hard. The trick is, not to drink today. She isn't saying it's easy: sometimes it's the hardest thing there is, but one day at a time. He repeats that wonderingly, and she assures him that is all he ever has to do. He thanks her humbly and tells her she's amazing and he is so lucky to have her. He means have her in his life, he adds hastily: he knows that that aren't together and that isn't what she wants. She denies that it isn't what she wants, saying she just can't. Then as he seems about to make a move to leave, she tells him to come here.

Henry is reading in bed when Helen comes to interrogate chat with him: she offers to go with him to the cricket practice Harrison has arranged with him for tomorrow. He reluctantly agrees when she says that she'd like to, but warns her that he doesn't want her to stay because he might not be any good at first. She didn't realise he liked cricket; he informs her that he doesn't, or at least doesn't know if he does or doesn't and that's why he wanted to try it out. He thought he hated cricket, but Mr Reeve thinks maybe he hated it because of the way Rob forced it on him. At least, he didn't say that but Henry was talking to him about how Rob used to make him play cricket and he didn't like it because the ball was too hard to catch [he was six at the time. Chris] and he had to play for hours and hours. Henry thinks that if he'd played with someone else, like Harrison, he might have ended up liking it, and might even have been really good at it. And if he never plays, then it's like Rob's stopping him even though he's dead, so he thought he'd give it another chance. Helen thinks that's a really good idea. Henry wants to know if he can now finish his chapter. Helen tells him she loves him, and as duty-bound he replies that he loves her too.

Harry is all right, but when asked, Alice says that she isn't really: she's sorry, but she thinks he should go home. She has looked in on Martha, who is asleep; Harry thinks that's good, and then can't find his other sock. He wants to know what is the matter, and she says that shouldn't have happened; she can't believe she just did that. He says that it wasn't just her, but she is determined to be entirely responsible and says it was her who kissed him, and if she hadn't ... He interrupts her to give it as his opinion that they both wanted it to happen and it just happened, but she's not having that: things don't 'just happen', people choose to do them. She chose to do that even though she knew it as a terrible idea, and can't even blame it on being drunk. He tells her she is being very hard on herself [not to mention on him! Chris] and it's not bad to want to be close to someone: they're being human, and that doesn't make them bad people. Near-hysterical, she says they can't be together and she thought he understood that; he does, but that doesn't mean they can turn off their feelings. She asserts that they have to, this was a massive mistake, and she's sorry but would he go now, please. He says goodbye, and leaves her to sob alone.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 23rd April, 2024

Sometimes being jocular works; at other times, it falls flat on its face.

Characters: Fallon, Harrison, Helen, Henry,
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

As they wait for Henry, Fallon and Harrison discuss Alice looking better than for the last few months; Fallon thinks it's a shame she and Harry are a total disaster together when she really liked him, but thinks that since Alice knows they are a disaster she won't risk everything she's already achieved. What Harrison dubs 'Ambridge's answer to Ben Stokes' then arrives attended by his mother, who confirms that the Thai green curry was delicious. Henry greets Fallon and remarks that he had not realised she would be coming; Helen at once chides him for being 'a bit rude', but Fallon smooths over the awkward moment by saying she'd heard they needed a wicket keeper. Henry then pointedly says 'bye then, mum' and Helen takes herself off, first telling the world that she is under strict instructions to leave before any cricket is played but she just wanted to say thank you to Harrison for doing this. Henry implores her to go; she tells him she will be back later to pick him up. Once she's gone Harrison is able to start showing Henry what he needs to do; they seem to get on well.

One of Ed's Texel lambs has a broken leg; Alistair diagnoses a complete fracture of the radius, which will cost about a hundred and fifty pounds to put in a cast. Considering how many lambs they've lost this season, Ed grits his teeth and tells Alistair to go ahead. Alistair can do it now, over at the shed, so they take the lamb there. As they walk over, Alistair asks how Ed enjoyed the match on Sunday and praises his performance, saying he should play more often and then warning him that it's not always so easy; Ed slyly remarks that it was a double win for Alistair, and starts to tease him, as if they were both fourteen or so, about his having had a drink with the Little Croxley captain. Alistair puts up with it for a bit, and then asks Ed, really quite tersely, whether he wants the lamb treated or not. Suddenly sober, Ed says 'yes please.'

Harrison and Henry are joking together as Henry practises, with Fallon adding a friendly comment now and then, and Henry asks whether he is ready for the youth team if Harrison starts one. Harrison says yes, after a bit more practice on line, length and catching, which Henry takes to mean 'everything'; Harrison and Fallon remind him he has only just started and that's to be expected. Henry doesn't mind knowing he's rubbish; he's had fun, though he thinks cricket maybe isn't his game after all. Helen arrives to collect him and expresses pleasure that he's had a good time; she wants him to come away now, because she has left Joy looking after Jack, but he begs just to try to bowl one good ball at Harrison first. Helen says yes, and Harrison tells her to ring Joy and tell her to settle in for the night because that may take some time to which Henry responds 'Oy! Cheek!' and they both laugh.

Having been dismissed by Henry, Helen is now talking with Fallon, who says Henry's banter has really kept Harrison on his toes; Helen immediately worries lest her son has been cheeky, but Fallon assures her he has been lovely and they have really enjoyed themselves. As jovial shouts from the two males reach them Helen laughs and says Harrison is so good with him; Fallon attributes this to Harrison being a big kid himself. Helen thinks it is so good for Henry to be around a man who doesn't take himself too seriously and shows him that it's the joining in, taking part, having a good time that counts. Fallon has a good one there.

There is a cat who comes to the practice whom Alistair insists has it in for him; Denise mocks him about this conviction, and says she thinks he should talk to him about it: 'look, Fury, maybe we got off on the wrong foot, I'd really like it if we could start again.' They are getting on well, with Denise laughing at Alistair, when Ed turns up with the coat which Alistair left in their shed. Apparently he was passing and thought he might as well drop it in. Alistair thanks him, and Denise remembers she has left her phone in the treatment room and goes to get it, which gives Ed the opportunity to apologise for winding Alistair up earlier, which he has been feeling bad about, and also realises was a bit immature: when you think about it, there's nothing funny about two people like the look of each other, they have a drink and a chat, maybe exchange numbers, he says suggestively. It's nice, he adds; it's lovely. Good for Alistair, and he hopes it works out. Alistair tells him yet again that there is nothing to work out, and Ed, disbelieving, first says it's obviously early days and then when Alistair again says there is nothing, says 'Oh, right, whatever you say' in a way which makes it clear he simply isn't prepared to believe Alistair. Denise, coming back, asks what's this, and Alistair once more says 'nothing' and that Ed is just apologising for a bit of banter, but there is really no need. Ed takes it on himself to explain he was winding Alistair up about fancying the captain of Little Croxley ... what was her name again? Alistair forbiddingly tells him it was Laura, and he does not fancy her. Yeah right, scoffs Ed, then apologises for doing it again – but for what it's worth, he thinks Alistair should call her. If he likes her, that is. Don't let embarrassment get in the way. In a level voice, Alistair reiterates that he is not interested, but Ed still goes on about her being so nice and obviously liking him: why not just ask her out and see where it goes? Doesn't Dennis [sic. Chris] reckon? Denise is non-committal: yeah, if he wants to. Ed can't let it go and is 'just saying': Alistair is single, and if she's single too, why not? They both like cricket, and it's not like he's asking her to marry him, is it.

When the pair have got into the car Henry wants to know why Helen is looking at him like that, and she denies that she is: she's just glad he had fun. Henry sighs and asks whether that's even if he was useless; Helen at once says he wasn't useless [which she knows because she wasn't there and didn't see. Chris] but Henry is clear: at one point he even threw the bat at the ball by accident. Cricket is actually a lot harder than it looks. Helen is sure it can only get easier, but Henry doesn't know: maybe. He had fun with Fallon and Harrison, but the idea of a proper match... Helen reasonably suggests he doesn't have to unless he wants to, and he is relieved: it doesn't have to be a Thing. Helen goes on a bit about playing or not playing, but emphasises that the point is he doesn't have to define himself or put himself in a box and can do anything he wants; he has nothing to prove to anyone. Henry asks what is for tea, and when Helen tells him 'shepherds' pie' opines that's brilliant: he's starving.

Ed having finally gone, Alistair and Denise have been able to lock up: she is in the car so she doesn't need a lift from him. She's about to get in her car and go when Alistair calls her back: he just wanted ... What Ed said earlier, about Laura ... she knows, the Little Croxley cricket captain? Denise wants to know what about her, and Alistair stumbles into an explanation about not wanting Denise to think there is something he's not telling her. They chatted briefly at the cricket on Sunday before Denise arrived. Laura offered to buy him a drink because he had been honest with the umpire about her not being out, and she gave him her number. That's all. Denise assures him that he doesn't need to to explain, but he wanted to. OK, so is he going to call her? No. OK, she says again. He then says that he doesn't know: does Denise think he should? [Good grief, what a question ask your would-be lover! Chris] Denise thinks he should do whatever he wants to, and he has no idea what that means; it means, she explains, that it's not up to her. Well, no, he accepts that, but ... he knows it's difficult, and he doesn't want her to think that he's not giving her time ... Denise breaks in to tell him that it is difficult, things are really difficult right now, and she knows they aren't easy for him either. If he wants to call Laura, call her. It's completely up to him. She'll see him tomorrow. Resignedly, Alistair mutters that yes, it is; it's up to him.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 24th April, 2024

A bonsai tree and a full-sized bottle.

Characters: Alice, Eve, Fallon, Ed, Lilian
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Because she hasn't heard from him for one whole day and he is not answering his phone, Alice has gone round to check up on Harry, but the door is answered by Eve. As he had told Alice he would [and as she would have remembered if she had thought for as much as thirty seconds. Chris] Harry has got a place in a treatment centre, and Eve took him there earlier. Eve went round to clear up and do some cleaning so his house would be welcoming when he gets back, and is somewhat over-wrought: she thought she was coping, but it turns out she isn't.

Breezily, Fallon asks Ed whether Emma is back yet, but she has just missed her: she's off doing some kind of training with Chris. They talk of Emma's training and how much Fallon admires her for sticking to it, and thinks the tree-surgery has given Emma a new lease of life: in fact she thinks it's brilliant. And so does Winifred, which is why Fallon is there. Winifred is a regular at the tea-room; she has dropped off a bonsai tree for Emma, since the gift of a bonsai tree brings positive energy and prosperity, apparently. Ed's reaction to this idea is not as delighted as Fallon's: he says glumly that the whole tea-room knows, then. Fallon is surprised it's not meant to be a secret, is it? Ed feels that they don't want the whole world knowing before they've even started, and Fallon explains Winifred just overheard Emma talking with her about it and was interested. Ed supposes they should take all the luck they can get, to which Fallon responds that of course they won't need it. Is he excited about starting his training? When he claims that he is she remarks that he might want to tell his face that; he repeats that he is, but adds 'it's just'... and she anxiously asks whether everything is all right.

When Eve remarks that Harry said Alice had been to a similar place, Alice tells Eve that rehab saved her life; Eve says that's what she is hoping for Harry. Alice reminisces that she didn't want to go, and was horrible to her father when he took her there. Her last words to him as he walked away were that she hated him. Eve is sympathetic, saying that she was unwell, and Alice asks how Harry was when she left him. Eve likens the look on his face to the one when he was in lower school and they took them on a residential to one of those outdoor adventure places: terrified but determined. He really wants to do this, and Eve dared to believe for a second, looking at him, that he really might, that maybe it will work and he'll get better. Alice assures her that he is in the best possible place, and Eve tells her he would never have agreed to go if not for her, and Eve knows it must have been difficult for her helping Harry, going back there to that time. Bravely, Alice says it's worth it if it helps. Eve thanks her: she will never, ever forget what Alice has done for them.

Fallon, not having asked for it, is now being given a run-through of all Ed's doubts: it's not just how dangerous it is, it's the whole thing. They've got to be away for four weeks for the training, so they've got to put their whole lives on hold and leave Keira with his mum and dad, and when Fallon remarks that she won't give them any trouble he says that she needs him and Emma, and suppose something happens at school? Fallon tries to calm him: if anything does, his mum and dad will be there, and he'll be on the end of a phone. He knows that mum and dad will be struggling as it is without him and Em to help around the farm [and who will be tending his ruddy Texels then? Chris]. The closer it gets the more he keeps thinking: what if they're making a huge mistake? This is a whole new world for them and they know nothing about tree surgery, not really, and they've got no contacts and no customers, nothing. [And keeping it a secret from everyone is really going to help with that, Ed, you drongo. Chris.] And this is like a proper business, not like just doing contract work: they're starting again from scratch. They've put everything they've got on the line to do it, so what if it goes wrong? What if the whole thing crashes and burns? Fallon is probably meant to argue, but instead she tells him he is right, which stops him dead in his tracks. She adds that anything can go wrong, not just in tree-surgery but in life. Things don't always go to plan. Risks don't always pay off. But he and Em aren't going into this lightly on a wing and a prayer, are they. The shell-shocked Ed murmurs, 'well, no'.... She reminds him they are well-prepared: they've spent months thinking and talking [the idea first occurred to Ed on or about Christmas Day 2023, and he told Emma about it the following day to cheer her up after the tree fell on her car. So yeah, four months or so. Chris] researching, planning; Emma's gone on about it so much Fallon has started to feel she could set up as a tree-surgeon herself. She knows there is still a chance things could go wrong, but honestly, she thinks what they're doing is great and she really thinks they will make a success of it. They're bound to be scared: it's a big change and maybe that's what he's scared of the most.

When Alice gets back home from 'pilates' we discover that Lilian has been looking after Martha for her: entertained her, fed her, bathed her and got her to bed. Alice is shattered, and looking forward to a shower and early bed. Lilian praises her skill as a mother, after spending time with 'marvellous Martha', tells her how much she has on with work and Martha, and apologises for not having helped as she should have done. She then apologises again for 'jumping to conclusions' about Alice drinking, and says that she knows Alice misses her mum: so does she, but they just have to get up every morning and carry on. It then occurs to her that since Justin is out for the evening she could stay around, if Alice doesn't feel like being alone, and they could order in some food. Alice protests that she is really tired and would sooner just go to bed. Lilian almost allows this, then insists on making Alice something to eat before she goes; Alice protests in vain.

Ed thanks Fallon for her pep-talk; it really helped to talk about it. Fallon suggests that maybe he just needed to say it aloud and carries on the pep-talking about how brave and exciting it all is, and that it would be weird if he weren't feeling nervous about it all; Ed concedes that she is probably right. She does think he should talk to Emma: maybe she is feeling the same, and anyway Fallon is sure she will understand. Ed says that she is right again, and promises he will.

Alice comes downstairs ready for bed and finds that Lilian has heated some tomato soup and put cheese on toast under the grill; Alice thanks her, and Lilian declares that sometimes she thinks simple comfort food is better than any fancy dinner. She insists that Alice must promise to eat it all – she has to keep her strength up with everything she's got going on – and Alice does promise. Lilian goes on talking about things quietening down, and Alice being in the eye of the storm at the moment [why? in what way? Chris], while Alice sighs repeatedly and clearly longs to be left alone. At last Lilian gives her a hug and goes, saying she will see her in the morning, and when the door has shut behind her Alice doesn't even pause to lock it; she says 'right' and goes to rummage somewhere muttering 'where is it?' There is some clinking of glass, and then the sound of liquid being poured; Alice takes some deep breaths, drinks what sounds like a couple of large mouthfuls and sets a glass down with a satisfied sigh and a sniff.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 25th April, 2024

In which we find that appearances can be deceptive, and history can be re-written.

Characters: Helen, Joy, Lilian, Alice, Azra, Jack (!)
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

It seems that Joy thinks Mick is being 'elusive', though she can't explain this to Helen: he just has a general air of mystery about him. She has noticed that he is excited, like a kid in the run-up to Christmas, but when she asked him about it he said it was just Spring. It didn't wash with her, though she likes a daffodil as much as the next woman. She then realises she ought to get the ice-cream Helen has just delivered into the freezer before it melts. Helen suggests Mick might be planning a surprise, or it will be something and nothing; she's going to have to get back to the dairy, but if Joy is free tonight she could come over to Helen's and have some food, and they can catch up properly. Joy accepts.

Alice is using a power-tool to replace some bolts before the inspector comes back, even though they were not an issue at the last inspection: she doesn't want to give any reason for them to become one in future. Lilian was unaware the inspector would be coming this afternoon; Alice came in early to get on top of things and the inspector rang up at nine on the dot to say she would be in the area and might as well drop in, instead of them sending in a report on what they'd done to bring things back in line with regulations. Lilian at once proposes to go through the previous report and sort out everything that is on it, but Alice has already done that, and also spoken to the stablehands to make sure they all know what to do. She asks Lilian to go and put the kettle on; there is food in the office fridge for lunch, and she'll be in as soon as she finishes what she is doing.

Helen has provided the finest snacks the Bridge Farm shop affords: ready-made salads, bread and cheese, and dips; Joy has brought wine. It seems the big green olives are Joy's favourites: close her eyes and she could be back in Corfu in 1989 with her best mate Susie Fairclough, when they saved up for a week's self-catering in Sidari. That was a great holiday. Helen sighs and says she hasn't had a girls' holiday in years [the last one was when her shagging exploits shocked Brenda in Tenerife in 2006. Chris], and Joy exclaims that she is missing out; Helen knows it. She doesn't really know why, because she's had opportunities [really? When was that then? With whom? Chris], but she just never got round to it. Joy suggests they should go on one together, the two of them, next summer, at Zakynthos, or Skiathos – she's always wanted to go to Skiathos. They could see if Kirsty fancies it. Helen is in! though she might have to wait until the boys are a bit older: she can't quite face asking her mum and dad to have them for a week while she swans off to a Greek island. Joy sees the point but will hold her to her consent later. Helen now reveals that she promised Jack they'd go out at the front after they'd eaten to watch him on his skate-board. Joy doesn't mind, but didn't know he did skateboarding; Helen explains that he doesn't but he found Henry's old board in the shed and insisted on trying it. This happens every time Helen tries to have a clear-out: they rediscover everything and she can get rid of nothing. Because Joy then starts to tease Helen about making the most of them while they are young and the days being long but the years short, Helen tells her to have a vegetable crisp, then asks about Mick. Joy says there isn't much more to tell: there is just something ever-so-slightly off. Helen asks if there have been any developments on the living together front and Joy says no: she'd decided to wait and see how things go, not to rush into anything, and now he's acting strangely she's glad she did. She doesn't really think he's up to something, but on the other hand you only have to pick up a magazine to find a woman whose seemingly-lovely boyfriend was secretly doing goodness knows what. Tentatively, Helen suggests that she could just ask him what's going on, but Joy replies that she has; he just says 'nothing'. As she expounds further the doorbell rings and Joy goes to answer it; someone is on the doorstep who is 'here for the viewing at five-thirty'. Joy tells her that she must have the wrong house, but Helen, coming out as well, greets her by name. Dr Malik has indeed got the wrong house: she wants number twenty, which is for rent. [Interesting: eighteen houses were built at Beechwood. Chris.] That's Julie and Andy's place across the street, according to Joy, and they are moving back to Surrey: apparently Andy's got a deputy headship. She then starts to question Azra: she's Helen's doctor, is she? And she must be Adil's sister? How is Adil getting on in Pakistan? Azra says he is having a whale of a time, then that she must go; she'd best not be late: the rental market round here is so tough she doesn't want to give them any reason to take against her.

As a car (presumably containing the Inspector) drives away, Lilian breathes a sigh of relief: thank goodness that's over! She could do with a massage, she's so tense. But who cares: they passed! Alice corrects her: not just passed, they didn't drop a mark this time. Everything withstood rigorous testing, and so did they. Lilian congratulates her on having played a blinder and been totally unflappable. Alice feels so much better now they are in the clear: she didn't realise how much the threat of losing their accreditation had been hanging over her, and though Lilian thinks they were never at risk of that, Alice knows that if they had been it would have been down to her. Lilian protests against this: she knows how much Alice has had on her plate recently and it is totally understandable, and she has certainly made up for it now.

When Jack is told by Helen not to leave his skateboard by the back door for Helen to fall over again, his distant voice is heard saying 'I won't'. Joy is complimentary about his skill and talks of winning the Olympics, though Helen feels he has a way to go before that. Joy then sees Azra coming back and hails her; Azra has been impressed by the house and the garden, and the quiet road. Adil did well recommending it. Joy extols the area: although she's a city girl at heart she has learned to embrace the country way of life. Just give it time and Azra will be playing for the village cricket team and baking up a storm for the flower and produce. Azra feels that is unlikely, and then asks what the neighbours are like: she has been warned by Julie about a busy-body woman who is nice enough but better not to get chatting to because once you get her started you'll never escape. Helen clearly thinks she meant Joy, but luckily Joy immediately recognises this as a portrait of Bernadette, whom she describes as 'harmless enough, bless her, but she just goes on a bit'; still, she's good for keeping you in the loop with what's going on because she's on the parish council. Azra [who may know as well as Helen who was meant, by now. Chris] will bear that in mind. When Joy asks if she is interested in the house, then, she cheerily agrees that she might be.

Alice has dropped Lilian's phone off at the Dower House; Lilian hadn't even clocked that she'd left it. She has been at sixes and sevens all day, losing things and forgetting what she's meant to be doing: she tried to put the kettle in the fridge earlier. Alice laughs and attributes it to the excitement of the re-inspection. Lilian suggests it's either that or she's losing her marbles, but Alice is probably right: it's been a whirlwind of a day, not that it's ruffled Alice,who has been the picture of calm. What's her secret? Alice mentions a good night's sleep and having got a solid ten hours last night, not moving until Martha woke her at seven. Lilian jokes that in that case she's off for an early night; seriously, though, she can't say how good it is to see Alice looking so well, brighter than she has been, more like her old self. She's been worried about her and how stressed and exhausted she'd been; Alice assures her she's fine. In fact she feels better than she has in ages.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 26th April, 2024

Laura makes her escape, Azra is sucked in and Alistair's shirt is tucked in.

Characters: Laura, Alistair, Azra, Joy, Denise
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The date Alistair has arranged with Laura is stumbling and flagging, with Laura talking chirpily and Alistair not really answering her. She is reduced to asking him if he has any hobbies in an attempt to get him to talk, and when he says he likes cooking asks him what his signature dish is, then is very encouraging when he says risotto. Silence falls again, and she draws a deep breath to go on carrying the burden of the conversation. She likes a pub with a cosy atmosphere: it's a nice place, isn't it? Yes, it is, isn't it. He likes the benches. Banquettes, she tells him. Yes; lovely fabric, is his comment. More silence, then he asks if he should get them a drink, but she has still got most of hers. He swiftly changes it to crisps: would she like some crisps? Before he can start for the bar she asks if he would mind sitting down, then remarks that she is not sure this is working, is it.

The shop has closed as Azra comes up, though Joy has not yet left, and when Azra explains that it's an emergency because it's Friday night, she has a date with a sofa, and she is completely out of chocolate, Joy willingly opens up again for her. [Where is this sofa? In her home in Solihull? There would be open shops on the way there. Chris] Azra has made up her mind about the house: Joy is looking at her newest, most glamorous neighbour, who has just come from the estate agent.

Alistair is apologising for messing Laura about, and she wryly assumes that if he was looking forward to tonight it must be that the reality doesn't live up to the expectations. He protests that it is lovely and she is lovely, but he is just tired. And it doesn't help that he is really out of practice: he hasn't been on a date in a very long time. He hadn't banked on having lost the ability to string a coherent sentence together, though! It's a poor performance by any standard and she has a right to raise a formal complaint. But honestly, it's nothing to do with her: it's all him. She can't believe he really just said that: it's not you, it's me? He then tries to explain, and she tells him he really doesn't have to: tragic as it may sound, she has actually had worse dates. He persists: basically, he decided he should stop waiting around for something that may not happen and get on with his life. 'Hello Laura' she comments. Oh, that makes it sound like some sort of experiment, and it really wasn't, he moans, and she tells him it's OK, she really wasn't judging, and he seems like a nice guy, but she thinks from what he's said that she is probably best off out of it. So if it doesn't seem too rude she is going to go and sit with her friends on the next table. Alistair is startled, and she gently says that he really is new at this, isn't he, and wishes him a nice evening and good luck with his situationship. He thanks her.

Trapped into conversation with Joy, Azra compliments her on the flow of information she is giving her; complacently Joy says it's just that she's observant: she's not boasting, it's just that she notices things, she can't help it. And she likes talking to people, passing the time of day, so she picks things up. Is that everything? It is, except that Azra will grab some milk while she's there: it would be fairly devastating if she gets back with her chocolate only to find there's no cup of tea to go with it. That's four-eighty when she's ready; as she pays she asks whether Joy has any plans for this evening, or will she be sitting on the sofa watching other people sitting on the sofa? Joy loves that show, but has her DanceFit class first, at the church, with Denise who works in the vets. Azra enthuses, and Joy has an idea: why doesn't Azra come with her? She'll still be back in time for her programme, though they had better get going since DanceFit is about to start.

With all the grace and elegance of a homing wombat, Alistair has sought out Denise in the church to tell her his date with Laura was a disaster. It didn't seem fair to mess her about when his heart wasn't in it. She could tell, anyway, and basically sent him packing. Denise chortles gleefully, then apologises: she doesn't know why she's laughing, it's not funny, it's just... Alistair cuts in: it's ridiculous, that's what it is, the whole thing is ridiculous. He doesn't know if he's coming or going. Denise agrees that she does know it's ridiculous, and Alistair reciprocally knows she hasn't chosen this [to mess him around? I'm not at all sure about that. Chris], and Denise reverts to asking why he is there. He doesn't know; it just seemed like he wanted to see her. She is about to put her stuff back into the vestry, since nobody has come, and Alistair volunteers to give her a hand.

After the fastest packing up in the history of soap opera, Denise is discovered in the vestry strategically weeping because her class is not as popular as she had thought it was, which gives Alistair excuse and opportunity to 'comfort' her. She moves on from that complaint to work being awful, and tense, with her terrified that Paul is going to notice what's going on, and although they have agreed to try to act normal it doesn't feel normal: it feels strange, and stilted, and dangerous. And then she goes home and it's worse, it's unbearable. John knows something's wrong [yes, because she told him it was! Chris] but he doesn't want to discuss it: she thinks he thinks that if they ignore it it will just go away, which obviously is not going to happen. Alistair tells her it's all right, which she denies, and clasps her to his manly bosom: he knows it isn't all right, but anything he can do to help, just tell him and he'll do it. Brokenly, she points out that he's part of the problem, which he knows, but he does mean it: anything, any time, he's there. As they start to kiss, Joy and Azra arrive, and in a panic, Alistair tucks his shirt back in. Joy comes barging in, and Denise explains she thought nobody had turned up and was about to leave, but, as Joy points out, she's there and Alistair is there, and Joy has brought Azra, for whose benefit she performs introductions all round. Alistair tells Denise that he said people would bring their friends along, and Joy wheedles Denise to say she'll do the class: she's been looking forward to it all week, not to mention going on to Azra about how brilliant it is. Azra corroborates this: she really has. Given this encouragement, Denise consents: if they'd like to go and get changed, and Alistair gives her a hand with the stereo, she'll come through and get them warmed up. Joy comments that Alistair is sweaty already: did he run there? He admits that he didn't want to be late. Azra and Joy go to change, and Alistair asks Denise if she is all right: not really, no. He tends to agree, though he doesn't think Joy twigged. Denise doesn't think that's the point: oh, Alistair, what are they doing? He really doesn't know.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 28th April, 2024

Being a saga of people who outstay their welcome.

Characters: Lynda, Azra, Mick, Chelsea, Emma
Credited scriptwriter:
Caroline Jester
Directo
rs: Rosemary Watts and Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

It being Sunday, a visit to Lower Loxley Hall grounds is under way; Azra [who is not with her children in Solihull, where she still lives. Chris] has been on the guided tour, and Lynda, who manages to encounter her, is sorry not to have known she was there: if she had, she would gladly have accompanied her and told her more of the history than the guides do. Azra is there with Joy and Mick, who have gone to The Orangery, but now she will be living in Ambridge she sure she will make a return visit. Meanwhile Joy has undertaken to show her round the area, and Azra has to say today's event is better than the one on Friday at the church. Lynda seems affronted not to have heard of any event on Friday, so Azra explains about the sparsely-attended dance exercise class; Alistair having been there surprises Lynda. Now Lynda has learned that Azra is looking forward to moving in, she starts to try to sell her on Lynda's idea of what is important about life in the village, starting with the fact that she will know her neighbours. As she is about to expand on this idea Mick comes over: Joy has instructed him to bring Azra to the tree-top walk. Lynda at once waxes lyrical about the views from the tree-top walk, but when Azra invites her to join them has to decline:she is there to see Elizabeth on business. However, she insists that Mick must show Azra the herb-garden; Joy was already planning to do so, he informs her. She waxes lyrical some more, this time about lavender and camomile, but is interrupted by Azra remarking that is the second time she's seen a sow and her piglets running across the lawn and asking if that is normal; no, Lynda muses, Rex usually keeps his pigs under control. Mick happens to know that Rex has gone to stay with his dad, something to do with a dodgy ticker according to Joy, and a friend is looking after his pigs for him, and Azra remarks it looks as if he isn't doing too good a job of it. Lynda feels it is necessary to warn Azra to stay away from the sow, who might be savagely protective of her piglets.

Emma having turned off her phone because she is busy working out some things about the tree surgery course for her and Ed's nascent business, Chelsea has come over to insist on being given advice about which she would prefer of the tea-room job or the one at The Bull, since Kenton and Natasha caught on to her attempt to con them and are both offering the same wage. Emma doesn't in the least want to listen to Chelsea havering, as Chelsea does so often and so well, and does her best to get rid of her; Chelsea stays, arguing for each job in turn and totally ignoring the fact that she is completely unwelcome and Emma is not planning to help her make up her mind, though naturally Emma takes the opportunity to complain – on this occasion about having to come back in the middle of the course for her GCSE exams. In any case Emma doesn't see that not knowing which job to pick sounds much like an emergency to her. Chelsea goes on talking about herself, oblivious: she needs to save for a car to get her hairdressing business off the ground and be her own boss; Emma sighs and points out that in that case it doesn't matter which job she picks.

Lynda is still explaining her own importance to Azra rather than going to keep her appointment with Elizabeth. It becomes clear that Azra has if possible even less interest than Mick in maypole dancing – she thinks she can live without maypole dancing – or indeed any interest in any community activities such as Christmas shows, about which she is quite rude before realising Lynda's reaction. Lynda remarks dryly that she is surprised Adil didn't tell her more about all their community activities; Azra is sure it's not compulsory to take part in them but will try and come along to watch the Christmas show if she can. Lynda assures her there is something for everyone if that doesn't appeal, and starts to list attractions such as the flower and produce show; Azra turns down the offer of going to see Bartleby the Talking Horse with her later in the week on the very reasonable grounds that she will be working. Lynda is unabashed and at once produces another must-see event, the May Day quarter peal at St Stephens; Azra protests that she hasn't even moved here yet. Mick interrupts to drag Azra away: Joy will be sending a search party if they don't go. Lynda, with a comment about having not to keep Joy waiting, relinquishes her prey.

The space Emma was hoping to work in is still full of Chelsea going on about herself and her own concerns; she is demanding answers from Emma about the pros and cons of both Emma's jobs. She complains that she can't even go for the job that pays best because she was sprung by Natasha and Kenton, and Emme informs her that she's lucky she got offered a job at all if she tried that trick, before resignedly remarking that Chelsea isn't going to go until they talk this through, is she; nope, says Chelsea complacently. Every suggestion Emma makes, Chelsea argues against, and she still hasn't committed herself to either The Bull or the tea-room when, on the point of perhaps leaving, she notices an unopened package, which Emma says Will brought round earlier: something for the tree-surgery course, he said. She nags Emma into opening it; Emma is surprised that it contains clothes, and not particularly pleased that they are matching tee-shirts and fleeces with something written on the back. [A piece of fabric with writing on it! Gus.]

Having hurried Azra to meet Joy, Mick now has to excuse Joy not being there: she's probably dropped into the gift shop. Azra tries to avoid going into gift shops because she ends up buying things she doesn't need. Mick also sort-of excuses Lynda, as just being enthusiastic, but says with the zeal of a convert that Ambridge is a real community. Azra turns the conversation back to Joy: she felt bad turning her down for the concert in Felpersham on Sunday night [this is being broadcast on Sunday. Chris]. New age folk rock music not your thing then, Mick asks; curling up on the sofa with a box set is more her thing, confesses Azra, and is told that her secret is safe with Mick. He is not prepared to go with Joy to the concert, having heard the band once, but he is looking for someone to go with her because he could do with a quiet night in, like Azra; he has a training day at Grey Gables the following day and wants to be fresh as a daisy. Azra admires Joy for keeping herself so busy, and Mick says that it won't be too long before she is joining in with something. Azra claims to be quite good at saying no, but Mick laughs that to scorn: they'll see about that! A cuckoo calls, to Azra's delight, and Mick remarks that he bets you don't hear cuckoos in Brum.

The shirts say 'Ultimate Arboriculture' on them, and Chelsea has insisted on trying one one and modelling it, mocking the whole time. Emma defends Will as having meant well, but Chelsea takes the piss unmercifully: nobody is going to stop them in the street and say 'Tell me more about Ultimate Arboriculture. Emma has to laugh and agree, but says she mustn't tell Will that; Chelsea can't see why not; Emma tells her to leave it. Chelsea wants to know what Will is getting involved for anyway: it's Emma and Ed's business, and if she was Emma she'd tell him to butt out. Emma feels that he's got carried away with them starting a business; Chelsea snorts derisively and opines that it sounds like three's a crowd. [Does she have the least idea what she just said? Chris.] Emma tells her to take the shirt off and scram, please. Chelsea swears that she won't ever let her family be a part of her business, and Emma tells her never to say never, and enquires whether she is any closer to a decision about which job she's going to take. Chelsea breezily informs her that's easy and reverts to her objection to Will's logo: if it weren't there she could have used the fleeces; Emma laughs that she can't see Chelsea in a fleece, and Chelsea is triumphant because Taylor Swift was wearing one and suddenly, they were in vogue. Emma mocks her a little, but admits she isn't going to show the tee-shirts and fleeces to Ed until they are on the course, so that Will is out the way when Ed goes to thump him. Chelsea would like to see that.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 29th April, 2024

Robert is nudged out, and Alice is blacked out.

Characters: Jakob, Alice, Emma, Chelsea, Robert
Credited scriptwriter:
Caroline Jester
Directo
rs: Rosemary Watts and Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Hammering on her door, and shouting through the letter-box, eventually gets Alice's attention: Jakob is there because Kate is worried about her sister. Kate is supposed to be collecting Martha from nursery for her but Alice forgot to mention this to the nursery, who won't let the child leave with Kate without a parent's authorisation, and Alice wasn't answering her phone. Alice claims to be unwell, and indeed was said by Lilian, when Kate tried to get hold of her at work, to have called in sick, but will get in touch the nursery at once.

Trying to instruct Chelsea on anything is an uphill job, as Emma is discovering in the tea-room, which is where Chelsea has decided she'd prefer to be employed. She already knows everything there is to know about being a waitress, far more than Emma does after all her years of experience working there. After all, she is the one who gets the good reviews for 'excellent customer service' at The Orangery – as she tells Emma. Emma points out that this is not The Orangery, and greets Robert as he comes in, then hands over the job of serving him to Chelsea. He asks for a tea, and Chelsea embarks on a list of the various teas they have available until Emma informs her that when a customer asks for tea they usually mean just breakfast tea. Chelsea at once argues that it's good to have a choice, but Emma smacks this down, and Robert, rather than having the list all over again, changes his mind and asks for a cappuccino instead. Emma forestalls any more lip from Chelsea by asking him to take a seat and saying that Chelsea will bring it over to him. Chelsea brightly asks if he wants cake with his cappuccino and starts recommending various kinds until he says firmly that all he wants is a cappuccino, and he doesn't want chocolate on top. She tries a bit of banter: 'sweet enough, are you, Robert?' Emma breaks in again to suggests that he should just grab a table, before quietly instructing Chelsea that she is not to pressurise the customers; of course Chelsea argues the toss about that too, because they always ask people about cake with their drink at The Orangery. Rather than go on struggling with her incomprehension, Emma asks why Chelsea chose to work at the tea-room; apparently Chelsea doesn't want to work with family, and though she and Emma are cousins, Emma will be gone next week, and anyway she wouldn't tell her what to do the way Tracy would. You have to stop family telling you what to do, like Will trying to dress Emma and Ed in those daft fleeces, which Chelsea wouldn't put up with; she has another giggle about the name Ultimate Arboriculture and says that Emma needs to nip that one in the bud.

Alice is on Jakob's phone grovelling to the nursery about having failed to tell them about Kate collecting Martha, and, when she puts it down and thanks Jakob for lending it to her, it becomes clear she has lost her own mobile. Jakob reiterates that Kate was really worried, then mentions that Chris had his phone turned off, which is a relief to Alice: it's good that Chris wasn't worried unnecessarily too. Alice now speaks of having come down with a virus and does just a little too much explaining-away; Jakob notices her phone under the table and thinks the ringing ought to have woken her up. She claims that she must have left it on silent after this morning's lesson at The Stables, but he knows that for a lie: Lilian told Kate she hadn't been in today. Alice's attempt to cover up by saying the virus is giving her brain-fog and she doesn't know what day it is doesn't really convince him: he says that she doesn't seem herself and asks if she needs him to get her anything before he goes, a hot drink? She would rather take a couple of pain-killers and sleep for a few hours, then pick Martha up she thanks him again for all his help. Jakob thinks he should make her a coffee. Alice protests that she has already wasted too much of his time and she's fine, really; he says flatly that she's not fine, and, when she brightly tells him she will be when she's had those painkillers, stammers that this is difficult: he can see that she is not telling him the whole truth here. He can see the wine bottle. She says it was only the one; only the one bottle, she means? he asks. No, it really wasn't: she knocked the bottle over, that's all. He doesn't believe her: and then hid it behind a cushion? She is 'hurt and offended': he doesn't think she drank the whole bottle, does he? She drank enough to forget her child, he says; she snaps that she didn't forget Martha, Jakob, she just forgot the final arrangement: she knew she was safe! It's not as though she left her alone in a playground, is it. [To me that says that, some time recently, Alice has done just that. I am a nasty suspicious type. Chris.]

Chelsea insists on cleaning Robert's table round him and asks questions about what he is doing, which he explains is a difficult puzzle on which he is trying to concentrate. She then tries to sell him another cup of cappuccino, asks if it is time for his slice of cake now, asks if it is noisy at Ambridge Hall, and caps it all by telling him that it always starts to get busy about now. Affronted, he tells her that he certainly doesn't want to take up a table if she needs it for someone else; she disclaims, but tells him it's really kind of him and not all customers are so considerate. He leaves her gushing insincerely behind him. Emma approaches Chelsea to tell her Mick has texted to offer her a ticket for a gig on Sunday with Joy, but Emma thought it sounded more Fallon's cup of tea that hers, and anyway she'll be away on her course. Chelsea asks if she saw what Chelsea just did ('the perfect demonstration of how to deal with a single-cup table-hogger') and Emma says apprehensively that she doesn't think she's going to like this. Chelsea explains she does it at Lower Loxley all the time: you start by hovering over the table, and if that doesn't work you wipe down the table they're sitting at, and if they still don't get the message you ask them to pass you their cup, and then say 'is there anything else you want me to get you?' Emma is scandalised: she didn't tell Robert to leave, did she? Course not, says self-righteous Chelsea; she just planted the idea in his head. Emma groans: it's not on, Robert's a regular. Chelsea knows better: what's the problem if the table's free for someone who will actually buy something now? Emma tries to explain that Chelsea can't come in here and start alienating the customers, but Chelsea of course is not going to accept Emma's word for anything: sorry, Emma, she was just thinking about the business. Emma doesn't think it was very kind; Chelsea thinks that Emma might not recognise the place when she comes back from hugging trees. That is exactly what worries Emma.

If it is only a blip, Jakob really doesn't understand why Alice doesn't want Kate to know. He finds her argument that she is protecting Kate, from going through all the stress of worrying about her when it really isn't necessary, to be somewhat specious: talking things through has stopped things spiralling out of control before, hasn't it? [When was that? I don't think I can have heard that episode. Chris.] Alice says in the tone of one reasoning with a child that nothing is spiralling out of control, to which his reply is that it looks like it might be about to. She promises him that it won't: it was a one-off. Jakob wants her to tap into her support network right away and stop anything escalating, and she agrees that he is right: as soon as he is gone she's going to call her buddy Lisa. Jakob thought you were supposed to call your buddy before you had a drink; still in reasonable mode Alice concedes that would have been better but it just caught her unawares, that's all. She thought she was coping OK, but clearly she's not. There's been a lot going on, but she'll sort it out right now. Jakob asserts that he won't lie to Kate, and Alice that she isn't asking him to: she's asking him to look after her and stop her from worrying herself sick about something that isn't a thing. She doesn't need the stress, and it really is a one-off. Undeterred, Jakob enquires whether it would have remained a one-off if he hadn't come round; Alice claims that of course it would and he is turning this into something it isn't. He tells her that he is worried about her, and she uses splitting up with Harry as her excuse for hitting the bottle; Jakob remarks that there will always be something, and Alice claims spuriously that she's not trying to make excuses and then makes some: all the drama with Fallon and Harrison as well. Jakob becomes a little angry with Harry, and Alice says he has left her without her best friend: it's going to take a lot for Fallon to be there for her again. Alice then produces a violin: and it's mum too, and Alice has really missed her not being around. She hasn't shared that with the family, and she won't because she doesn't want to upset them. Unfortunately for her, everything she is saying makes Jakob feel (and say) that it is critical she talks to her family about what happened today; she refuses on the grounds that would lead to Chris having to know, and she can't risk Martha being taken away from her. Jakob reasons that is unlikely to happen from a blip, but she builds Chris into an ogre: if he found out he might decide she's not fit to look after her, especially after forgetting to call the nursery. Jakob is sure he wouldn't, but Alice doesn't see how he can be sure. She can't take the risk. Can't Jakob understand that? He starts to say doubtfully that he can see, but... and she breaks in to thank him: it would destroy her to lose Martha. She then tells him Kate is really lucky to have him, which he ignores: and she will call her buddy, he asks with steel in his voice. Yes, yes, she will, and get everything back on track. Jakob has really helped her today, she tells him fulsomely, more than he realises. He wants to be sure she knows he will have to keep a close eye on things, and if he has any concerns... Alice is sure today has been the wake-up call she needed. He clearly doesn't really believe her [having an IQ over 17. Chris] but had better get back to work. She thanks him again, and although he tells her that he really doesn't know about this, she goes ahead and thanks him for trusting her: it means everything

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 30th April, 2024

Jim plays Pandarus, and Robert can't remember basic grammar.

Characters: Alistair, Robert, George, Eddie, Lynda
Credited scriptwriter:
Caroline Jester
Directo
rs: Rosemary Watts and Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Because Denise has gone away after the initial examination was made, Alistair is clipping Monty's claws; Robert is amazed by his expertise but still full of praise for Denise' touch with animals. And with people. They've got a good team there now, as he tells Alistair Lynda was saying only this morning; Alistair confirms they are really pleased Denise is back with them. Alistair asks how Lynda is enjoying being chair of the cricket club, and Robert says she is in her element but reverts at once to how much better things are when you have the right people working together, and the two men continue the Denise-fest. In spite of it, Alistair manages to give Robert advice on looking after a dog's ingrowing dew claw which amounts to 'bring him back in if he licks at it excessively'.

Not content with being the voice-over for Bartleby, Eddie is putting up a sign advertising the animal so that people can come and visit him and have their photographs taken with him; George is totally opposed to this, saying that it will make him ridiculous, but Eddie is the stronger character and prevails. Just as Lynda arrives on her bike, George says he can't go to work knowing that Eddie is taking over his idea like this, but Lynda, of course, sides with Eddie – especially when, in character as Bartleby, he calls her 'Lynda Snell, MBE'. No protests from George work: Eddie points out that his is the talent behind Bartleby, and though George says that if he doesn't want Bartleby to do something he won't do it, neither Lynda nor Eddie pays any attention to his bid for 'artistic control'. She wants to be filmed with the pony, and is sure that one little video with her won't spoil the whole aesthetic.

When it comes to Robert paying, Paul should have been at reception but seems to have gone missing, so Alistair will get him to send the invoice by email: he'll get into trouble if he tries to do it himself because he is under strict instructions not to mess with the payment system. Alistair has no idea where Jakob is either, and they shouldn't really leave reception without anyone keeping an eye on it. Robert saw Jakob going out as he was coming in, and tried to talk to him about the cricket but Jakob said he couldn't stop, he had to pop across to The Stables, and seemed very preoccupied with something. It was a good win at Edgeley on Sunday, they agree, even with Rex unavailable; Robert hopes his father makes a speedy recovery, as does Alistair. Lynda has been thinking of asking Ed to let his Texels come in every year to graze the cricket ground: they've really improved the run of the outfield. She is worried about getting enough volunteers to prepare teas for the T20 event; Alistair hastily says he is already signed up to play and it is on the May bank holiday weekend. He'll try and spread the word for them and try and get any takers; Robert thanks him and wonders if Denise might be able to help. Once more he tells Alistair not to let her get away again. As Robert may be about to leave with Monty Jim comes in, on his way to the tea-room, to bring the sandwiches Alistair left on the kitchen table, and Robert asks if they are still meeting in The Bull later; yes, Jim is very much looking forward to it. In that case Robert will see him there, and he hopes Alistair too. He warns Jim not to loiter for too long in the tea-room and recounts the treatment he got from Chelsea, with added injury to insult because it happened at the very moment he was about to solve the ancient mystery Lynda has given him to work on. Jim doesn't really believe him about Chelsea: it doesn't sound like her.

George cannot believe that Eddie has not only made him record a video of Lynda and Bartleby 'talking together', but insists that he has to post it. He wants Ed to take the sign about Bartleby down, because he needs to get to work, and Lynda is patronising about him prejudging his audience's reaction: he is to take that from a seasoned professional. She and Bartleby chatted about a dancing vet, but Lynda won't say which it was of Jakob or Alistair and denies that it was gossip: it was her observations of village life. George seems preoccupied, and then says he doesn't believe this: Jules Somerby has only gone and shared the video on her socials! Lynda is not familiar with that name, and he tells her they've only got five million followers, and the views are already in the thousands. Lynda is quietly triumphant: her MBE can be useful at times. She thinks that in another lifetime, she would have made a rather marvellous influencer herself.

Pints have been purchased, and Jim has been looking forward to his all day: Chelsea didn't have a shift at the tea-room, but in order to establish that there was no change in management policy he stayed at one table reading his book, with a pot of tea as his only refreshment, for two hours, and nobody harassed him at all. He assumes that Robert got his wires crossed yesterday, since Chelsea offers excellent customer service at The Orangery. Robert grumbles, but sticks to his guns: the place wasn't even busy, and he was at a critical point in that game. He's now going to have to go back to the beginning. He changes the subject, to Alistair seeming in good spirits this morning: you can see it in people's eyes when they are happy, and he thinks Alistair is. Jim is pleased to hear that; Robert thinks if you are happy at work everything is improved, and perhaps he will take a leaf out of Alistair's book: next time they have difficult guests at Ambridge Hall, instead of getting annoyed he will 'show them Lynda and I working as a team' [Sic. Chris] to keep their guests happy, like Denise and Alistair did with Monty. Thoughtfully, Jim sees now; and to rub the point home Robert is pleased things seem to be going well for Alistair; Jim seizes the opportunity to invite himself over the Ambridge Hall to work on the 'ancient mystery' with Robert tomorrow evening, and indeed to stay the night there. When Alistair comes over, Robert insists on buying him a drink as recompense for his excellent treatment of Monty; Alistair protests it was just claw-clipping, but according to Robert 'it was much more to Lyndy and I' [Sic. Chris] and Jim having offered his help with the puzzle tomorrow evening, and to stay overnight, is now revealed to Alistair. Alistair offers to give Jim a lift home but it seems he is not planning to leave until the next morning. Robert goes to get a pint of Shires for Alistair, and Jim explains that one must be prepared to sacrifice one's own comfort for the greater good, and obliquely informs Alistair that he and Denise can have Greenacres to themselves for the night while Jim is staying in a strange bed.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 1st May, 2024

It's a bad day for vets: Jakob is hoodwinked and Alistair is out of luck.

Characters: Alistair, Denise, Alice, Jakob
Credited scriptwriter:
Caroline Jester
Directo
rs: Rosemary Watts and Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

A moribund sixteen-year-old cat called Fifi, whom at Christmas Alistair had thought not to have long left, is at the vet with Denise and Alistair for blood tests to check on her kidney disease. Denise says she still has some life left in her, like Alistair, whom Denise has seen dancing. He is still uncomfortable about what (almost) happened on Friday even though Denise said on Monday that she was fine with it; Denise is more concerned about what would have happened [or been happening? Chris] if Joy and Azra had come in a few minutes later. Alistair belatedly realises this isn't an appropriate conversation at work, but adds that he just wanted to say that he would understand if Denise doesn't want it to happen again. She lowers her voice half an octave to reply that she wouldn't understand, which pleases him; he reverses his previous remark to say that neither would he. Still in the husky voice, she says maybe they need to choose the time and place next time.

Another animal, another vet: Jakob is advising Alice on exercise for a horse he has been checking up on but won't need to except as part of routine visits from now on, and Alice strongly implies that he has actually been checking up on her. He doesn't deny it: he wants to be sure she's OK. She tells him soothingly that she is, thank you; it's all fine. He reminds her that after the other day, they agreed... She interrupts to say he'd make sure she wasn't drunk in charge of a horse or a child, and he protests that they agreed he'd check in to see how she was doing. He's not trying to upset her. She assures him that he hasn't, and he confirms that they did agree, because he's still not happy keeping this from Kate; Alice says he can see she's coping fine and it's all good, isn't it. He wants to hear that she has called her buddy Lisa, and Alice obliges, though when he asks if they have been in regular contact Alice evades the question by telling him to stop worrying: she's sure he has a busy schedule and doesn't want to keep him there for longer than he needs to be. He hopes Alice felt that it helped talking to Lisa, and Alice replies that it always does [still not answering the question directly. Chris] and offers him a coffee, since she is making one for herself [what about that busy schedule? Chris], and then suggests that if she tells him what Lisa said, maybe he'll be able to relax a little and stop worrying so much about her.

Paul is doing the invoices for the farm visits, which Alistair thinks will take some time, and Jakob was last seen by Denise going across to The Stables, to which information Alistair comments 'Good.' Denise fails to pick up on this, and goes on to comment that Jakob thinks he needs to speak to the Grundys about Bartleby, because he doesn't think it's good for an old pony to be paraded like that in front of people who don't know him. Denise thinks it's cruel, doesn't Alistair? He clearly hasn't been listening, because his reply is 'no', uncharacteristically not agreeing with every word she has said. He then asks what she said, and when she asks if there is something on his mind finally gets round to asking if she has any plans for this evening, and when she wants to know what he had in mind, tells her Jim is going out for the evening and indeed over night, so he has Greenacres all to himself and he thought... 'While the Dad's away the kids will play,' interpolates Denise. Alistair wondered if it might be a good chance to have some uninterrupted time alone together. She'd love to, but she'll need to think up a reason to give John for going out, although she doubts he'll even notice. She's pretty sure it's one of his cycling nights.

The Stables coffee is very strong, because Lilian chose it, which Jakob thinks is perfect. He now wants to know what exactly Lisa said, if it's not private; Alice says that it is, but then decides after a little prevarication to tell him what he wants to hear, and creates a pleasingly supportive conversation in which Lisa told her to focus on how long she went without a drink rather than fixating on the one relapse, and that she needs to keep reminding herself of that. Jakob can see the logic there. Alice continues: she's done it before so she can do it again, and she will do it again. Jakob is glad Lisa is being supportive; Alice says Lisa thinks it's best if they speak at least once every day at the moment, which to Jakob sounds good.

After a late escape from the surgery because of an emergency with a dog, which Paul is now checking overnight, Alistair compliments Denise on the son she has raised, describing Paul as 'wonderful'. He and Denise have had a takeaway and a bottle of wine, and Alistair suggests opening another, which Denise thinks a good idea. They speak of this and that, and Denise asks if Alistair plans to stay at Greenacres with Jim; Alistair tells her it is certainly not where he thought he'd be living at this stage in his life, but sometimes options become very limited, and he made some mistakes with finance in the past; Denise sympathetically supposes that Jim loves having him there. Alistair feels it has probably been good for both of them, and he has got to know his father in a way he didn't before: he wouldn't have missed these last few years with him, and would probably worry if he wasn't living with him, now; it's worked out well for all of them. It was only ever supposed to be a temporary place to live, though, which is probably why he's never really bothered to put his stamp on it. With a long sigh, Denise muses that it does feel like Jim's house; good music, though! Alistair spoils this by telling her Dad's got great taste. She tries again, saying the wine is delicious; Alistair admits that too is Jim's. He said they could drink whatever they wanted. Alarmed, Denise asks if Jim knows she is there tonight, and when she further asks if he had a hand in tonight's arrangement Alistair confesses it's more like Dad supporting him. He then immediately starts to hint towards moving to the bedroom, and Denise thinks she is going to say no, which takes Alistair somewhat aback. She is just not getting the vibe, it seems. She thinks they can do a bit better than this: somewhere where they can't feel Jim's eyes in the backs of their heads, maybe, and she thinks she knows just the place. It's not too far away, but far enough. Alistair assumes she means tonight, but no: she knows a gorgeous hotel with the most amazing swimming-pool, and she loves to swim. She'll book the hotel for Sunday when John is away for the night.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 2nd May, 2024

Bartleby is a bone of contention, while the Aldridges are in perfect accord.

Characters: Will, Eddie, Alice, Jakob, George, Brian, Miranda
Credited scriptwriter:
Caroline Jester
Directo
rs: Rosemary Watts and Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The monetisation of Bartleby is now Eddie's preoccupation; he plans to tell fortunes in his 'Bartleby' voice. Will is frankly puzzled to find Eddie painting the fortune telling booth he has half-inched from the Village Hall where it is stored. It rapidly becomes clear that George is not included in this scheme, since the punters are to take their own videos. Will asks whether George is happy with this, and then whether Eddie hadn't better ask him first. Eddie shrugs off this strange idea: George will be thanking him by the end of the week.

As she comes out of the shop Alice runs into Jakob, who is there to pick up something for the dinner Kate is organising tonight for Miranda and Brian; Alice knew nothing about it, and Kate is organising it as a 'sorry' for being over the top when she met Miranda. Jakob really doesn't want to go, foreseeing trouble if the two go on sparring, though Alice brightly says it could be fun. He might enjoy it. Jakob just wants a relaxing night; it's bad enough at the practice with Paul and Denise squabbling over the display boards. An idea strikes him: why doesn't Alice come along? He might need her there for support. She doesn't want to, and argues that Miranda might feel overwhelmed if another of Brian's children turns up, but Jacob doesn't think Miranda gets overwhelmed. Alice's final shot is that she was looking forward to the quiet with Martha away, but Jakob has an answer for that too: he did wonder if it might be better for her to be around people at the moment. She decides he might be right and she should get to know Miranda more if she is becoming part of Brian's life. Jakob applauds this: he will let Kate know.

George turns up on his way to work to check on Bartleby, to get some breakfast and to instruct Eddie to take the sign down because he doesn't want it in any videos. Eddie plays dumb: why does George want it taken down when it might be helping to get them views? George does his best to explain about damaging the brand, but Eddie wilfully cannot understand what he is talking about. George points out that it is also tacky: his videos are about how slick this operation is, how professional. Will intervenes: George's grandpa wants to ask him something. Eddie clearly doesn't, but under pressure from Will says he could do with a hand moving the booth further into the field, later, if George has five minutes. Will explains that George's grandpa has a new idea. As might have been predicted, when Will explains Eddie's scheme to 'maximise assets' by having 'Bartleby' telling fortunes (as voiced by Eddie in the booth) George hits the roof and tells Eddie that he just doesn't get it. Will fans the flames by telling George to go easy on his Grandpa; George won't. He is on the brink here, over three hundred thousand views, and already has money coming in: do they have any idea what that sort of money will do for this family? Eddie uses his special wheedling voice to explain he is just trying to make them a bit more, and doesn't seem to understand that if people take their own videos the Grundys are not in control of distribution. He is wrecking it. George appeals to Will: he was only saying a few weeks ago that the Grundy get-rich-quick schemes never work, so what is he doing egging Eddie on? Will suggests that maybe they should listen to him, and as George leaves for work he demands again that Grandpa had better get rid of that sign and the stupid booth, which he starts to kick. Eddie shouts at him to be careful: that doesn't belong to them. He then asks Will to help him move it, since George won't, but Will just tells him he never listens.

More alcohol is being poured, this time an extra-dry Martini for Miranda. Alice is there and Brian thinks her presence a lovely surprise, while Miranda says it is so nice to get to know her. She promises that she won't interrogate Miranda as Kate did, and the three laugh together. Miranda enquires if she should expect any more of the Aldridge clan to turn up; Alice laughingly reassures Brian that Adam is not about to make an appearance as far as she is aware, and Brian says nothing would surprise him: there could be a knock on the door at any moment and Ruairi standing there with his suitcase from London, and Debbie beside him all the way from Hungary. Miranda is curious: is her presence causing such a stir? She does hope so! She then mentions that Jakob is in Kate's bad books for forgetting the wine; luckily Miranda brought extra.

On his return from work and having found out that Eddie has ignored his commands, George is setting out to destroy the sign when he is found by Will, whom he immediately accuses of having backed up and helped Eddie. Will denies having helped Eddie move the booth, and George sulks that he didn't stop him neither; Will does tend to agree Eddie's gone a bit too far. Eddie now arrives shouting: leave that sign alone! and George, defiant, tells him to come and make him, which bit of rudeness causes Will to expostulate mildly. George informs Eddie that he told him to have it down by the time George finished work at Bridge Farm, and Eddie retorts that it is as well that he didn't because they had a bit of a rush this afternoon. George forbids him to come near Bartleby again, Will tells him he can't say that, and George retorts that he can and he has. [Is he paying for Bartleby's food and vet's bills? If not, he really doesn't have much claim to ownership of the nag. Chris.] Eddie, he adds furiously, is off the project. Eddie says that is a foolish move, and though George is inclined to take a hammer to the booth, Will is interested to hear what Eddie made telling fortunes, first at ten, then twenty, and eventually at thirty pounds a go. George insists that what he is doing will get them shedloads more, he reckons thousands, but not if Eddie carries on like this. Eddie is sure they can do both things, George equally sure that they can't. If people take their own videos, they get the views and the Grundys lose the money. Will intervenes to find out whether Eddie is planning to give George any of the money he made today, and when it is clear that Eddie wasn't because he invented Bartleby's voice and was doing all the work, Will reminds him they are a team and the 'right wodge' that Eddie made today should be split with George and they should shake hands. Eddie offers ten per cent; Will says fifty and makes that stick. He then tells George he should use his share to do something for someone else: take his mum out for a fancy meal or something.

Absurdly, Lynda Snell has been bothering Brian to have a go at Maypole dancing on Sunday: it seems Kate is looking forward to it, but Jakob is planning to make sure he is on call and completely unavailable, and Miranda calls him a wise man for it. Kate is out in the kitchen 'doing' decaff alcohol-free Irish coffees with plant cream, which Brian starts to say sounds absolutely... and Miranda finishes his sentence for him: 'delicious'. Alice is really glad she came; the food has been delicious, and she hasn't eaten so much in a long time. Miranda tells Brian he has two amazing daughters, Brian smugly agrees but mentions that Debbie is pretty special too and they make a great family, and Alice tells him to stop or he'll have her in tears. Jakob remarks to Miranda that the Aldridges seem to have lost their powers of persuasion tonight if she's not been recruited to join the pub quiz tomorrow and Alice gushes that she must come; the Aldridges are very competitive. Miranda mildly enters the caveat that she finds quizzes so tedious, and people take them far too seriously, but Brian has promised Lilian they'll be there to make sure there are enough teams for her to host, which causes Miranda to feel that makes it sound a bit more interesting. Jakob asks if they have thought of a team name yet, and after some silly suggestions Alice comes up with calling themselves 'Team Aldridge'. Miranda thinks that Lilian seeing her walk in with team Aldridge would be quite something, and when Jakob protests that he is not an Aldridge Alice insists that he is: he is part of the family, and Miranda can be an honorary member for the night. Brian says that strictly speaking he isn't, Miranda exclaims that sounds perfect, and Alice tells Jakob he is like a brother to her, always there when she needs him. Miranda thinks that's lovely, Brian concurs, and Alice proposes a toast to Jakob which they all drink.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 3rd May, 2024

It's all go at The Bull, and George takes Emma and Will to a meal at at Grey Gables.

Characters: Miranda, Brian, Kate, Jakob, Will, Emma, George, Alice, Lilian
Credited scriptwriter:
Caroline Jester
Directo
rs: Rosemary Watts and Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

It's quiz night at The Bull and the village is out in force, with Miranda gloating about the look on Lilian's face when she saw the Aldridge team walk in under the alias 'Team Smartinis', a moniker with which Kate is not comfortable; Jakob can't see that it matters what they call themselves but Kate feels they need to check that Alice is happy with it. This will be difficult to do since she is not yet there. Jakob offers to go and find her if she hasn't arrived within five minutes.

Grey Gables, meanwhile, has Grundys: George, Will and Emma to be specific; George is treating his parents, though not Ed, who has volunteered to babysit Keira and Poppy. Emma is not sure about the décor, and feels she had a lucky escape not getting the job at Grey Gables because she would never have been her own boss. She thinks the uniforms look shocking, and Will takes the opportunity to ask what she thinks of his tee-shirts and fleeces; she tactfully manages to avoid saying what she thinks of them and changes the subject to Ed not coming: George wouldn't be able to pay for all four of them, has Will seen the prices on this menu? Will teases by suggesting he might have the venison (the most expensive item) or a partridge crown, and Emma asserts that a chicken breast will taste the same. She also exclaims over the price of the cheese board, and suggests that people could go to the tea-room and get their Borsetshire Blue for less than half the price. She then gripes about Chris having given his night at Grey Gables away to Fallon and Harrison, but Will ignores her and George returns from the toilets saying he knows what he is having. Emma asks what the toilets are like, and he says 'er, like toilets?', then wants to show Will his new phone, which Will says looks great but he would have no idea how to use it, and then says they should order – they can have two out of the three courses on the set menu. Emma points out that there isn't a set menu on a Friday.

Because Lilian has missed out the general knowledge round of the quiz, the teams won't be taking a break yet but carrying straight on with the round she forgot, after which they can place their orders at the bar. The first question, about the cruciate ligament, causes Alice to say loudly that a cruciate ligament sounds excruciating and then laugh at her own wit; Brian angrily tells her to be quiet, and it seems clear that she is drunk, he knows she is drunk, and she's been being loud and difficult for a while. Kate asks her please to think of others, and Alice starts to argue: nobody seemed to mind when she shouted out the right answer last time, and she thinks some of the others are cheating. Kate asks Brian if they can go, and Jakob suggests that he could take Alice home if they want, but Brian doesn't want the whole pub staring [I think that's past praying about, at a guess. Chris] and vetoes the idea, saying they can make their excuses and leave in the break. Unfortunately Alice has decided she is not going anywhere until she buys a round of Martinis for the winning Smartinis, and says so in a loud sing-song voice; did Miranda think of that name? She's ever so clever. Brian apologises to Miranda for 'all this' and Miranda says there is really no need to apologise. Alice then decides she wants to buy crisps and has to be prevented by Kate from going to the bar. She argues that too and tries to get Miranda to agree with her. Jakob quietly provides the answer to the question Lilian has just read out, while Alice continues to talk loudly about crisps and which ones everyone might prefer. Jakob is sure that he could take Alice home without causing too much stir.

The Grundys are disappointed by not getting either chips, or vegetables with their main course, so Will says they can all have a pudding if they're still hungry, but George is sorry: he can't afford that. Will says that will be his treat. George decides to click his fingers for a waiter, which singularly fails to work; the waiter ignores him and George disgustedly says that he won't be getting a tip. Emma thanks George for tonight: it's nice doing something different. Even if he has to fill up on toast when he gets home, mutters George. Emma can't wait to tell Susan about this ravioli dish, and George tells her she means raviolo, which make them all laugh. It is a whopper though, remarks Will; Emma just says she would have liked more than one. They thank George again for treating them.

As Brian is about to try to leave the pub Lilian comes over and tells them they'd better get their drinks in quickly, then when Brian says they are going to make a move tells him they can't do that: they'll disturb the balance of the teams. Alice owlishly repeats this as Lilian argues with Brian until he crossly asks her just to leave it: he'll explain tomorrow. Alice informs Brian that he is upsetting Auntie Lilian, and Lilian asks Alice whether she is all right. Alice's reply, describing her family as misery-guts, causes Lilian to understand what is wrong and encourage them to leave before it gets quiet again. Alice announces that she doesn't want to go home; everyone else prepares to leave, but she digs in her heels and repeats that she doesn't want to go ho-o-ome. Kate asks Jakob to take Alice and wait outside. Alice at first resists both the idea and Jakob's attempts to persuade her out for some fresh air, but he manages to get her moving as Lilian quietly asks whether this is the first time and Kate says that she thinks so. Brian apologises again to Miranda, who says she will grab her bag from the cottage and then head home: this is a family matter. Lilian distractedly asks what triggered it, and Brian says grimly that none of them saw this one coming.

Attempts to reason with Alice are clearly futile, with her being offensive to Kate for suggesting she might drink some water and calling her 'controlling', but when Kate makes a cross reply Jakob feels it might be best to talk to Alice in the morning, and Kate can see that. Kate offers to let Alice have her bed and sleep on the floor herself, to keep an eye on her; Alice takes exception to this, then argues the toss with Brian again, then objects to them talking about her in her presence, and when Jakob offers to go away and leave them to it exclaims that he mustn't go and leave her with 'these two'; Jakob is the only one who's been kind to her. Kate picks up on this and wants to know what she means, and Alice, having dropped him in it, decides to go up to bed, describing Jakob as more than a good friend, a brother, as her Parthian shot. After she has gone Kate enquires quite gently whether he knew something before tonight, and it becomes clear that he has known since Monday that Alice had been drunk when she failed to tell the nursery that Kate was collecting Martha. He explains rationally what happened, what his motives were, and that he believed Alice when she said she was talking to her buddy Lisa, but (like Alice) neither Brian nor Kate is amenable to reason. Kate is furious because he has known since Monday and didn't tell her about it, and Brian, when he realises what has happened, is simply furious, and determined to blame someone. He orders Jakob to leave, and Kate backs him up; Jakob apologises again on his way out, and Brian tells him he has no idea of the damage he's caused; please, just get out. [Of course, Brian knowing four days earlier that Alice had fallen off the wagon would have made all the difference. In a pig's ear it would, anyway. Chris.]

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 5th May, 2024

Alice is in de Nile and then in de Am. (Possibly.)

Characters: Alice, Brian, Chris, Joy, George, Alistair
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Having found Alice still in her pyjamas in mid-afternoon, claiming that she must be coming down with something because her head is thumping, Brian is at first sympathetic and gives her painkillers, but then when she tries to pretend that she has not had a drink and doesn't need looking after tears her off a strip about her having been drinking again, which he blames mostly on Harry and says is not just her problem because it affects everybody. She apparently admitted to the whole Harry nonsense yesterday before going home from Blossom Hill Cottage. She is completely unrepentant, merely annoyed that because of her family and Jakob it will be all over the village. She is certainly not amenable to any argument, reasonable or not, and both denies having been drunk in the pub and says it was not the first time she's been drunk, more or less in the same breath. When Chris arrives wondering why she has not picked up Martha, and whether she is all right, Brian, who has had enough of her prevarications, challenges her to tell Chris what the matter is, since she clearly does not intend to. She tells him to do it himself and flounces out leaving the two men together. Chris is shaken, and Brian invites him to sit down and he'll fill him in.

Joy is about to close the shop, but sells George some fruit cider that is the cheapest alcohol they have, [and rightly so. Muck. Gus] for him to take to a party. When Alistair then comes in, she turns over the sign on the door to 'closed' but prepares to serve what she says is her last customer.

Alice has dressed, and come down to tell Brian that far from her having embarrassed him, what's embarrassing is him treating her like a teenager. He responds that he only does so when she acts like one; Chris utters a warning 'Brian', and Alice angrily informs him that this is her house and Chris is her ex-husband, and if she needs to tell him something she will – she will. Chris says Brian was just trying to help, that's all, and she rounds on him: no it is not all: how dare Brian think he can tell him everything when she's not even in the room? Brian defends himself by saying that she is the one who stormed off upstairs; what was he supposed to do, leave Chris wondering why she was still in her pyjamas at six o'clock in the evening? Forgotten about picking up her daughter? Chris asks her where she is going, and her reply, to Brian not him, is that he is not to bring Martha into this. He retorts that she is already in this, right at the centre of it. Chris, still trying to appease Alice, says that he never, he means, as long as she's sober, no-one is going to try and stop her from seeing Martha, and Alice says 'see what you've done now?' to Brian. Chris is talking about her seeing or not seeing Martha and that's the one thing, the one thing she did not want to be up for discussion. Brian is not sure that she realises what is happening, and she flings back that of course she does, and God forbid that she doesn't there'll be all of them to remind her including him and Auntie Lilian now. [Sic. Chris.] Brian apologises to Chris and says that he thought Chris ought to know; Chris assures him it's fine, and tells Alice that he won't say anything to anyone, she knows that, but he's glad he knows, he wants to know. She shouts that she doesn't want him to; now Susan will know, and Neil, and where will it stop? Chris absurdly commits them to not telling anyone because they care, a view which Brian backs up, and Alice states that Mum would never have humiliated her like this. Brian is stung: humiliated? They're trying to support her! As she retorts shrilly that it doesn't feel like it, he continues: as for her mother, if she could see her now she would be so ashamed of her. Chris says 'Brian' in tones of deep reproach, but Alice admits he is right and Jennifer would be ashamed. She is ashamed herself. She then puts on her coat and leaves the house. Chris turns on Brian, saying that he knows how hard this must be, but really... Brian knows, but dammit, the words just slipped out.

Alistair is managing not to tell Joy anything of any import, and claims to be planning a quiet night in after his maypole dancing efforts yesterday; Joy remarks that Denise and Paul had a whale of a time by the looks of it, adding that Denise is out with a friend this evening, having bought a very nice bottle of sparkling wine, the most expensive in the shop. Alistair reckons that someone's in for a treat, swerves Joy's invitation to the Anglic Sister new age folk rock concert Mick has declined to go to, pays his seven fifty-two and is about to leave when Alice comes in and insists on buying 'a couple of things': she brings some snacks to the counter, which Joy rings into the till, then adds 'and a bottle of vodka' – no, the big one, please. It's reasonably clear Joy doesn't want to sell that to her, and Alistair too tries to distract her, but Alice is insistent, cards it and then goes out leaving her snacks behind. Joy feels that she shouldn't have sold her that; Alistair points out that Alice is an adult and they couldn't have stopped her. Neither of them knew what to say; Alistair hopes she's OK.

George is on his way home when he spots Alice in her car, and after making a few jokes about partying by herself decides that he is going to drive her home. He sends a voice-mail to Will saying he's heading back from the party, which was rubbish, and may be a bit longer so don't put the bolt-lock on. Alice is passed out in her car, he adds with a laugh; she can barely open her eyes let alone drive, so he had better get her home, and don't worry, he's only had a cider. He manages to shift the moaning Alice, who feels sick after necking a whole bottle of vodka (which George describes as 'hard-core'), into the passenger seat and gets into the car himself, gets her into a seat-belt, and finds the keys in the glove-box. They set off for Ambridge.

They are nearly there when Alice suddenly says 'stop', and then that she feels sick; George, alarmed, tells her she can't be sick in the car, and she takes him at his word and starts to open the door. He is frightened and tells her to leave it alone: they're nearly at the bridge and then she can get out, but she can't get out when they're moving. There is then the prolonged sound of a horn and George shouts 'O God!', tyres squeal, there is a thud, George grunts, more tyres squeal and there is a sound of running water as another vehicle brakes to a halt, and George whimpers 'No. No, no no no no no,' followed by a loud splash.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 6th May, 2024

Much sploshing and shouting, but nobody drownded. George thinks on his feet.

Characters: Alistair, Denise, George, Mick, Fallon, emergency responder
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

After finishing their meal and drinks at a restaurant Denise and Alistair are driving to their Night of Passion at the hotel booked by Denise. It's late and Alistair worries they may have missed check-in, but Denise says it's not that kind of place. He is worrying in case she is having second thoughts, because she dallied over their food, but she denies it and says it's more nervous anticipation. They are happily looking forward when there is a squeal of tyres and Alistair sees headlights in the water. He immediately brakes to a halt, saying that it looks as if a car's gone off the bridge, and gets out, telling Denise there's a torch in the glove-box and asking her to call 999.

At the same time, George is on the phone to the emergency services: there's a car overturned in the water at Heydon Bridge, he can't see how many people are in it, and they need help there at once. As he rings off he sees Alistair's torch and goes towards him; they both hear Mick shouting for help from the river. He has got Joy, and Alistair thinks it looks like she's in trouble. George and Alistair go into the water after them; Mick tries to stop them from taking him to the bank but they are determined. They drag him out, then go back for Joy. She is unconscious but alive. Mick comes up and then goes back to the river: Denise tries to tell him it's all right and they have Joy, but he shouts that they have to get Fallon, and they realise she is still in the car.

She is indeed in the car, shouting for Mick and for help.

Denise tries to insist on Alistair staying on the bank, and goes in after Mick; they get Fallon out and then realise they can no longer see George and start to shout for him. Someone falls in the water again and is urged to swim towards Denise, while Alistair has a look at Fallon to try to check if she is hurt. Fallon seems more concerned about Joy, but when Alistair asks if she is in pain tells him that her chest hurts; he tells her to breathe. She thinks Joy must have been knocked out as they hit the water. He asks what happened: she doesn't really know because she was in the back, but they got to the bridge and a car came straight for them and clipped the front of Mick's car when he swerved out of the way. Sending them off the bridge and into the river, Alistair says grimly; she guesses so.

Fallon is now out of the water and Denise is reassuring George that she is OK; he is talking about the back door being jammed, snagged on the rocks on the river-bed. He says he got her out the driver's side; Fallon comes over and tells him that he got her out: she was so scared, but he got her out. Denise tells him he did really, really good. Fallon thanks him, and Alistair says he should be proud of himself, which Denise backs up. Then sirens are heard, and George runs off with Denise shouting after him to find out what is wrong with him.

Denise and Alistair are now able to speak more normally: Alistair thinks Fallon is going to be fine, and Denise was not expecting to be soaked on the bank of the Am tonight. Fallon gets up to check on Joy and Alistair suggests she should stay put in case she is injured; she might not feel it because of the shock. Alistair goes to find blankets in the car, then realises George is missing and goes to look for him, while Denise goes over to Joy because Mick thinks she is stirring.

George, meanwhile, has shifted Alice into the driver's seat of the car. He is so sorry, but he doesn't know what else to do. As he says this Alistair comes over and finds Alice; George claims that he tried to wake her but couldn't. Alistair has a go but George doesn't think there is any point: by the looks of it she's necked a whole bottle of vodka. Alistair remembers that she bought it from the village shop earlier: he was there. George asks what they can do, and Alistair says there is nothing they can do: they'll have to let the authorities deal with it. An emergency worker approaches asking for George Grundy, and George admits to having called the emergency services; he goes to answer questions and Alistair is left saying 'Oh, Alice, what have you done?' in a crushed and regretful voice

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 7th May, 2024

Nobody is very pleased with Alice, and Fallon is given bad news.

Characters: Adam, Brian, Kate, Fallon, Harrison, Mick, Dr Ghanam
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The Aldridge family, in the persons of Kate and Brian, is waiting in the police station when Adam joins them. The desk sergeant has told them Alice is being processed and they won't say any more. Brian is in touch with his solicitor with a view to ensuring they do everything right and get Alice through this with the least damage. Kate fears it might not be that easy. Brian doesn't feel Adam needs to be there [and I can see that: he is neither use nor ornament in the circumstances. Chris] but he came over as soon as he'd sorted out care for Xander; for some reason Kate asks if Xander is OK [there being no reason on earth for him not to be apart from being dumped by his father. Chris], but Adam assures her he's fine with Helen. Alice was arrested at the hospital as soon as the doctors gave permission, and brought to the police station. Brian and Kate have been waiting since, and they won't let them see her. She has the duty solicitor with her, which doesn't please Brian much: he thinks it's probably some twelve-year-old who qualified on line. Adam tries to persuade him and Kate to go home for some rest, but neither will budge. Adam can't think why it's taking so long, and Kate breaks it to him that they said they would have to wait until Alice was in a fit state; he only then realises she was completely out of it. Brian blames himself for having truthfully told Alice that Jennifer would be ashamed of her, and while Kate tries to make it clear that it isn't his doing and adding his own guilt to the mix won't help, it's obvious Adam does blame him. However, Adam is able to tell them that when he went to the tea-room to drop off Xander with Helen he overheard Helen and Chelsea talking: according to them Mick's been discharged with a sprained wrist and Fallon will be out today. He didn't hear anything about Joy. Kate realises they are now going to be the pariahs of the village, again, which Brian hadn't reckoned with: they are going to need to make sure no-one upsets Alice with their comments; Kate thinks this would be wrong. Three people could have died, and the villagers are bound to be upset: they have every right to be. Since Alice comes out at this point, we will never know what Brian might have said in her defence. Alice tells them she has been released unconditionally for the time being,and when her blood-test results come back, which may take weeks, they'll call her back in. The blood tests are to show how over the limit she was. She doesn't want Brian to hug her; she just wants to leave. And no, not to Brian's: she needs to go home. Adam decides to follow them to The Nest.

Back at the hospital Fallon is getting restive: she too wants to go home. Harrison is just glad she survived an accident like that with only cuts and bruises, and when Mick turns up he tells them Joy has a fractured collarbone and a few bruises but she's in good spirits on account of Rochelle visiting: Mick just missed her, apparently. He hopes they are discharging Joy soon, though they may have to keep her in a bit longer for observation because of the knock on the head even though the scan looks clear. They have to keep an eye out for drowsiness and headaches but she should be out tomorrow with a sling and some heavy-duty painkillers. [The RSPCGoliath will be pleased. Gus.] Harrison reckons they have lucked out, and Mick fervently agrees, though Fallon feels that they were badly frightened and doesn't seem entirely sure about the effects of shock and the horror of being trapped underwater in the dark. Mick asserts that it was thanks to Fallon that he got Joy out; she instantly disclaims, but he reminds her that she helped him get her out of the driver's side when the back doors wouldn't budge. Fallon doesn't really remember what happened in any detail. She does know that Harrison has said you have to wait for the car to fill with water and the pressure to equalise before you can open the doors [so how did Mick get the driver's door open for him and Joy? Chris]. Harrison tries to hug Fallon and hurts her because of her bruised ribs, and muses that she got out in no small part thanks to George Grundy. All three agree he is brave.

On the drive back to The Nest Alice wants to detour by the hospital so she can see how 'the others' are; Brian reminds her the solicitor [presumably he means his solicitor Kevin, not the duty solicitor whom he never saw and whose sex he didn't know. Chris] advised that it's best she doesn't speak to them, but naturally she knows better and doesn't see why, though the duty solicitor did say it might be seen as intimidation. Kate is adamant that it would not be a good idea, and Adam has said they were mainly fine. Brian offers to make some enquiries, but Alice wants to see them herself, to make sure they're OK and to apologise. Kate starts to get cross with her, and remarks that they are in hospital because they nearly drowned in the river and she is not sure 'sorry' is going to cut it. Brian tells Kate to take it easy, but she points out that if the shoe were on the other foot they wouldn't be very keen for the offender to come and visit them in hospital, and Brian takes exception to the word 'offender'; Kate offers 'perpetrator' and 'driver' as alternatives, after which Alice, having said 'all right, all right' in an irritated manner, admits she is right, but adds that she doesn't remember it, or indeed anything. Kate tells her wearily that she needs some rest, that's all, but Alice starts to recount what she does remember. She was in a lay-by on the lane by Heydon Woods, where she has gone before, and she turned the car off and put the keys in the glove box so she wouldn't accidentally... She remembers hearing George's voice... Kate assumes that was when he was checking on her after the accident, and did most of the rescuing: they have an awful lot to thank George Grundy for. That is not what Alice means: he was... the car was off... She just wanted to be alone, she didn't want to hurt anyone, and wasn't planning on coming back until it was all done with. When Kate asks what was done with, she impatiently says 'the vodka' and adds 'my anger'. She wanted to get it all out of her system, and then when she was clear again she would have headed back. Still wearily, Kate asks if she couldn't just have had a drink at home, at which Brian expostulates, but Kate, the practical, tells him it would have been safer, that's all. Alice angrily says that home was otherwise engaged, and Brian intervenes: they must have told her at the station that when George and Alistair found her, she was in the car, on the bridge, the bottle she bought from the shop was empty and she was pretty-much out for the count. Alice mutters that is not what she remembers, but Kate firmly informs her that it's what Alistair and George remember, and they weren't drunk to the point of unconsciousness. Brian intervenes to suggest they might have some quiet time for the rest of the journey.

Harrison and Mick are still reliving the accident, vicariously in Harrison's case, and have moved on to the actual accident: Mick says he had no time to react and nowhere to go to avoid her car, and the idea of this Alice woman getting behind the wheel tanked up on vodka... Fallon says Alice can't have planned it, and Harrison informs Mick that Fallon and Alice are mates so it's a bit rough. Mick agrees to shut up, and a doctor comes in looking for Fallon. She is free to go, but he would like a word with her in private before she leaves.

They have got Alice to bed, and Brian draws the curtain to give her a better chance at some sleep. She thanks him, and he then sits down and asks her what's the matter. She tells him it's not the first time: she's driven there before and she would never, ever drive drunk, except clearly she has. He brokenly says that his is a terrible thing that's happened, but she is very lucky because no-one was badly or fatally injured. For now she should just stop thinking and rest. He promises her, they'll figure a way out through this.

Downstairs Adam is telling Kate she can go and he will stay with Alice and Brian, or Brian can go too; they both need to rest. As Kate tells him she is fine, Brian comes in and asks them to keep it down, please, because Alice is asleep. Adam at once, though quietly, repeats that he can stay if Brian and Kate want to go home. Brian thanks him but will stay too. Kate realises there is no point in all three of them staying and Brian tells her she can go home whenever she wants. They all need to keep a close eye on Alice, and he can't believe they didn't spot this. Well, Jakob knew and didn't see fit to say anything. Kate fires up at that and says it is not Jakob's fault, and Adam breaks in to ask whether they need to work out a rota, making sure someone is always there. Kate is sure that's not what they need: they're not qualified to deal with this, and they can't babysit her forever: a, it's impossible and b, she'll hate them. Brian doesn't care what it is: they have to do something, because he has no idea how she is going to get herself out of this mess.

In spite of the doctor wanting to have a word with Fallon in private, Harrison has followed her and wants them to be told if something is wrong. The doctor [ignoring any ethical consideration of her privacy. Chris] assures them nothing's wrong, but there are a number of routine tests that are done when someone is admitted to A&E under the circumstances Fallon was, and one of them has come back positive. Apprehensively, Fallon asks for what; the doctor says 'pregnancy.' Harrison and Fallon are stunned, and the doctor tells her that according to her routine urine test she is pregnant. He takes it they weren't aware, and Harrison answers for both that they were not. Fallon protests that she has a coil: they've taken precautions since they've been together, but the doctor quacksplains that as she knows, no contraceptive is one hundred per cent preventative, and coils do sometimes move out of place without you knowing. Fallon asks if it could be a mistake, and he tells her they'd like her to come in for an ultrasound so they can know more; he'll have an appointment made for her in the next day or two, as soon as they can get her in. But in his experience, these tests are pretty accurate. He reiterates that Fallon is pregnant.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 8th May, 2024

A deleted message, more unwelcome news, and a thundering embarrassment of a topical insert (or possibly two).

Characters: George, Will, Mick, Fallon, Harrison, Alan, Dr Ghanam
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Having been seconded to glue sequins onto a costume for Poppy, Will is a little preoccupied at breakfast time, but has leisure to tell George that he doesn't think the rice is going to dry his phone out, which is a bit of a blow to George. As George is about to have some croissant and chocolate spread for breakfast Will's phone rings, but he doesn't answer it: if he does, the glue is going to dry and he'll be in trouble. They'll leave a message if it's urgent, though Will isn't in fact likely to get that either: he hasn't had a chance to listen to them yet, though he intends to when he gets off to work. They will mostly be from Emma and Ed anyway. When the doorbell rings he asks George to answer it, but George excuses himself on the grounds that he isn't dressed. It's Mick, and while Will answers the door George attempts to get into Will's phone but fails, so as Mick comes in he asks if he can borrow it. Will tells him he can, but is a little shocked when George rushes off upstairs instead of staying: Mick has come to see him, with some 'goodies' from Joy as a thank-you for his having rescued her on Sunday night; Mick understands that things can be a little overwhelming, and stays by pressing invitation to talk with Will.

We are treated to the noise of someone noisily masticating breakfast cereal and then talking with his mouth full: it's Harrison, who is concerned that Fallon hasn't had anything, and thinks that she should before the scan today, since they don't know how long they will be kept waiting. She can't face anything. He makes inane remarks and she humours him, and he then apologises for eating loudly (but doesn't stop doing it) and comments he should have had porridge. Fallon tries to pull out the sofa to look for the remote behind it and he leaps up to stop her: she can't be shoving a sofa about in her condition! She remonstrates: she does not have a condition, and when he argues that she is pregnant, asks him not to keep saying that. He claims to know how she might be feeling, which draws a rather disbelieving 'do you' from her, and then claims they have talked about this, and he was listening, so he knows how she feels and they just take it a day at a time for now, right? She concurs and then the doorbell rings; Alan wants to ask after Fallon, and though Harrison seems to want to get rid of him Fallon welcomes him fulsomely and invites him to come in. He says he won't now he's seen her looking so well; Harrison is all for this. Then Alan adds that while he is there, he'd just like to mention that he is collecting clothes, blankets, shoes, and things like that; Harrison tries to fob him off, Fallon is sure she has some stuff in the spare room; she can sort through it and bring it round. Harrison gobbles a bit about the appointment, but she tells him that is not for hours yet and this is a worthy cause, even though Alan has not actually said what the cause is. She then encourages Harrison to pop over the The Bull for the stuff left over from the Renew fashion show, and invites Alan to come in; he can't stay because there are people dropping donations off at St Stephen's; she falls back on her sorting the stuff and sending it over with Harrison. Harrison tries to expostulate but she appears not to notice he has spoken, and Alan thanks him before going on his way. When the door has closed behind him Fallon explains to the bewildered Harrison that they have ages before the scan: how else are they going to kill time?

Mick is inveighing against the driver, Alice Carter, when George comes back down and Will makes him say thank you for all the goodies Mick and Joy have got him; Mick can see he wants some time to himself and prepares to leave, while Will gratefully tells him they will try to come over at some point. He then asks George if he is feeling OK and gets a sulky assertion that George is fine, but it can all just get a bit full on. Will is understanding about delayed shock,but adds that that George should remember that people are only trying to be nice. He then sees the time and realises that he still has the penguin's flippers to finish; George suggests he should get going because Eddie will be waiting, and George will finish Poppy's tee-shirt. And how about George takes his phone and listens to the messages that are about him, and then calls them all back and lets them know he's good. And then he can call someone of his mates, because his own phone is dead, and let them know what's happened. Will thinks that's a good idea, and hands over his phone with the words, 'you really are a hero, you know that, mate,' to which George gives him a quiet, 'sure.'

Harrison is helping Alan sort out the donations in the church hall, and Alan is suitably grateful. Alan probes about him seeming distracted earlier, but Harrison passes it off by saying that maybe they were a bit distracted, then asks what the cause is they're collecting for. It started with a Palestinian lodger in Penny Hassett who wanted to make care packages for her family, and neighbours back home, especially the orphans. [Alan does not explain how he proposes to get things through the blockade and into Palestine. Chris.] Harrison is struck by kids without parents, to which he adds parents without kids. The two men speak of people pulling together, and Alan then mentions his other topical insert, the arts and crafts kids who made heart paintings for the synagogue in Felpersham, for the families of the deceased hostages, and were touched when they got letters back. And they are now organising a big communal prayer: churches, mosques, synagogues, everyone's feeling the need; he ropes in Harrison to do a reading. Harrison has more-or-less realised that Fallon needs breathing space from him, and is grateful for Alan's sympathy over having nearly lost her. He then finds a Man United Babygro for a newborn, and is prompted to tell Alan that Fallon is pregnant; we are pregnant. He feels he has been handed a double miracle, Fallon not having died and now he is actually going to be a dad.

George has located, and deletes, his message to Will about driving Alice home.

At the hospital, Fallon and Harrison are told that no heartbeat has been detected and Fallon was pregnant but almost certainly no longer is. They will remove the coil at once, and Fallon will then miscarry, no more than a heavy period, and if it is more she is to come back in and see them. Fallon asks whether he thinks it was the accident which caused the baby's death, and Harrison angrily exclaims that of course it was, but what the doctor says is that it is difficult to say what causes miscarriages, especially this early; trauma, like the accident, can affect the pregnancy, yes, but also there are many pregnancies that survive despite such traumas, and worse. Honestly it's very difficult to say with any certainty. Harrison bursts out that he may not be able to say it, but Harrison will: that accident lost them their baby. He knows it.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 9th May, 2024

Paul starts to smell a rat, and Chris is sure something isn't quite right.

Characters: Chris, Alice, Jazzer, Alistair, Mick, Paul
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Chris is with Martha at the playground when Alice turns up with a large suitcase. He had expected her to pick Martha up from his place, so he is surprised to see her, but she tells him she doesn't want to be seen at the shop because the rumour mill's already started. He's sorry to hear it: he ought to have thought. Adam gave her a lift to the playground, and Chris immediately offers to drive her back. She wonders aloud whether he is going to ask her if she's had a drink today: initially floored, he then dead-pans 'Have you?', and no, she hasn't. Not yet, anyway. She thinks Martha should be with him, and he says he can even have her for the week if Alice wants. No, she means for the foreseeable: Martha needs a safe environment and right now that's not with Alice. He is certain she would never put the child in harm's way; she asks if he can guarantee that, and gets no reply. She doesn't know whether what is happening is a slip, or a blip, or something longer term, and he tells her almost crossly not to think that way; she asserts that she has to, and that whatever it is, she needs to fix it, which she can't do and look after Martha too. Chris tries to offer to have her overnight and Alice still see her, but Alice doesn't want that; he also says she doesn't have to hand over all her stuff, and Alice tells him the suitcase isn't all of it, it's just the stuff Martha can't be without. They have to be realistic, and neither knows how this is going to pan out.

Jazzer has been fetching drinks which have been paid for by Mick. He wonders where Chris is, since he's supposed to be meeting him, but is interrupted by Paul asking if there's room for one more; Alistair texted to invite him, and Denise, who is unwell as a result of her swim in the Am, practically pushed him out of the door. Mick remarks that he owes her a drink or ten as well, and Paul says he would be happy to take one on her behalf; Mick takes him to the bar to decide what he wants. Jazzer is sympathetic about Denise, then unpleasant about Alice being behind the wheel three sheets in the wind. Alistair is surprised that's spread so fast, then adds his mite to the gossip by saying that when she bought the vodka in the shop she seemed frantic. Jazzer thinks that's no excuse: fall off the wagon, sure, but not into a car. It's always somebody else who pays for it, and what about poor Martha? Alistair asks Jazzer not to talk about it now, please. Jazzer has concluded that it is no coincidence Alistair and Denise were in the same place at the same time, which Alistair also wants him to shut up about since Paul is just over there. Jazzer is just glad they found some quality time together, then asks anxiously whether they did and thinks it well harsh when he's told the car in the river prevented that.

After spending some time encouraging Martha in the playground, Alice declines to join Chris and her daughter for dinner; in fact she should be going. She doesn't want to give Martha a hug, but simply to slip away. Chris tries to encourage her not to assume she will go to prison, but she doesn't think that's really the point: there were witnesses to her buying the vodka in the shop who also saw her get into her car and drive away, and it's a no brainer that she downed the lot, and some cheapo fruit cider apparently. Chris thinks that's not like her [and may mean the cider. Chris] but Alice says it is exactly like her to drink herself into a state on stupid unlikely things: he knows that but mercifully doesn't have to deal with it any more, she tells him bitterly. Chris tells her that being down on herself is not going to help, but she rejoins sharply that being soft on herself won't either: three people she cares about ended up in the Am [had she ever even met Mick? Chris] and Fallon ended up nearly dying because of her. Chris points out persuasively that none of them did die, prison is not a done deal, and she's got to stay positive for Martha's sake and her own. Alice walks away.

Having heard from Chris that he has Martha and won't be coming the The Bull, Jazzer decides to go and see him instead. Paul expresses his great shock that Alice had been driving the other car, and Jazzer mentions that he was there for Martha's birth; Mick asks whether she had a drink problem back then, and Paul tells all of them [who already know. Chris] that it was an entire bottle of vodka this time, and loads of alcopops. Alistair tells him that's an exaggeration, and when Paul persists, saying that she doesn't seem the type, tries to get him to shut up about it. Jazzer goes off to see Chris, which leaves Paul, Mick and Alistair drinking together; Paul at once assumes the person he's offended must be Jazzer because he is friends with Chris and continues to gossip ignorantly about Alice, while Alistair wants not to talk about it and Mick agrees: there are better people to be discussed when in Alistair's company. After Mick's experience has been touched on briefly and Fallon mentioned, Paul mentions George having gone straight back in to rescue her, and Mick says he went to see him and found him a bit overwhelmed by the experience. Mick asks if Paul's mum has said anything, and that reminds Paul that he meant to ask what Alistair and Denise were doing there: Denise has said they were on a late call-out and he wants to know if anyone has logged it. [Paul, this was five days ago. If it hasn't been logged, which you would know about, then they haven't. Chris.] He then goes digging for answers from Alistair, who invents having been on late cover for someone from another practice, which would mean 'and nothing to do with Paul or his records' but Paul just won't let it alone. Mick concocts a story about a sheep Mick saw in trouble by the roadside when he was on his way to pick up Joy and Fallon, which in the end was fine; Paul goes on digging for a bit, but eventually says it's his round and goes to the bar. Alistair thanks Mick for his quick thinking and starts to explain why he was out with Denise, but Mick tells him not to sweat it, so Alistair desists.

Jazzer and Chris are talking about Chris being in charge of Martha for the foreseeable and Chris needing to adjust his work so he can collect her from nursery every day; Jazzer offers that he and Tracy will do everything they can. Chris thanks him, but has no idea how long-term this arrangement is going to end up being; Jazzer says that they both care for Alice, and Chris tells him Alice seems practically ready to walk into a prison cell. Jazzer reminds him that Alice is an adult and makes her own decisions, and has to face the consequences of her own mistakes; Chris reiterates that it just doesn't seem like her. Something about it doesn't fit with the Alice he knows. When Jazzer argues that when they are drunk people often behave in ways that are nothing like them, Chris just says it isn't right, it isn't Alice. He tried to remind her that prison was not inevitable and that she ought to be more positive, but she didn't say anything and just left as if she didn't hear him, as if she'd already given up.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

[Gus wants to suggest that smelling rats is a new veterinary diagnostic technique. Barry take note. Gus]

Friday 10th May, 2024

Fallon loses the baby, Brian and Kate lose their tempers, and Harrison loses the plot.

Characters: Kate, Jakob, Harrison, Fallon, Brian, Alice
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The cupboard was bare at Blossom Hill Cottage, which surprised neither Kate nor Jakob – Brian has had other things than shopping on his mind – so they have been shopping themselves. Brian will be back after driving Alice to a support group, and Jakob seems nervous about them coming back, so Kate tells him they are good now, and since the Alice thing was new to him [why? He has been in the village since April 2019 and he is a friend of Christopher's. Chris] of course he gave her the benefit of the doubt; anyway she fooled all of them, not just Jakob. He agrees that he and Kate are fine, but what about Brian?

Having brought Harrison some tea in the garden, Fallon is trying hard to act normally in spite of cramps and bleeding and not make a fuss, whilst Harrison sorts his toolbox. Fallon was asleep and the house was all quiet so there was no time like the present, as Fallon suggests. Fallon plans to lie down again and take some more painkillers; Harrison tries to be helpful, offering 'something stronger' or a hot-water-bottle or some chocolate, but Fallon says 'no, thanks'. Harrison says that he was thinking maybe they should tell the family, and Fallon asks 'tell them what?' His reply is 'about this, the baby': Fallon could do with her mum around and Jolene would want to know; also he knows his mum and dad would want to know. Fallon's response is a horrified negative, and when he says they would she tells him that she doesn't want them to. She doesn't want anyone to know: her mum and dad, or Kenton, or anyone. This is so personal: families mean well, but there's not really anything they can practically do to help but they'll feel obliged to do something, and she doesn't want that. Harrison tries another tack: he knows where they stood, stand on this, but he needs to talk about it and Fallon doesn't. When she says that's not true he flatly contradicts her: 'it is.' He adds that whatever is happening is happening to her body not his and he can't pretend to know what she is feeling but he does need to talk about what's happened, and when he's going through anything tough or challenging he wants to talk it through with his best mate. Fallon assures him they will talk, she promises, just not right now: right now she needs – he interrupts her to say 'space' [so he's never going to know what she was about to say. Chris] and tells her that is why he's going to finish the toolbox and then take himself off for a walk. Fallon protests that he doesn't have to leave the house, but he says he does have to, he wants to, so if she did want anything fetching just shout. Fallon supposes that now he's mentioned chocolate... Coming right up, he tells her.

When Brian and Alice get back Jakob is still there, and Alice is embarrassed to see him and 'pops upstairs for a second'; Jakob escapes to the kitchen, and Brian asks what he is doing there: he wasn't expecting company with Alice in such a fragile state. Kate replies that Jakob isn't 'company': he is her partner and her family. Brian is scathing, and when Jakob returns saying that he has just remembered he has a thing with Alistair says 'oh good', but Kate isn't having it; he is to stay right there because he's not leaving. Brian protests; she tells him that she lives there so Jakob is welcome no matter what members of the family are going through. And yes, she means Alice, or anyone. Brian tells Jakob that given Alice's current predicament... 'you mean what she did' interpolates Kate, and he tells her she is really not helping. He's trying to ... 'protect her from her own actions is not helping her, dad' says Kate firmly, and he raises his voice to assert that he doesn't need her to tell him what's good for Alice. Quietly, Kate agrees: he never has, has he. She doesn't mind parents having favourites, it's just when you make it so glaringly obvious that it becomes insufferable. Brian seizes on this as a cause to disagree with Kate, and as they start to squabble Jakob says that he should really go. Brian is incensed that while Alice is going through hell, Kate is dragging up talk of favourites, and Kate tells him not to downplay it. Whilst he fails to justify himself over her accusations about the past by telling her to stick to the matter at hand, she gets louder and shriller as she insists that it is the matter at hand: he spoiled Alice at every stage including now, can't he see what he's doing? He says he won't stand for this, and she says he never could, not from her: she's always castigated for anything she does, practically made an outcast for refusing to move Spiritual Home [actually she was never asked or expected to do so; she objected to farm vehicles that did not belong to Home Farm potentially driving past it. Chris] while Alice nearly kills three people and he is protecting her as if someone else made her do it, as if she's not responsible for her own actions. Brian asserts that he never said that, but Kate comes back with it being not Alice's fault but Jakob's, or Harry's, or hers. Brian tries to argue for Harry having ruined her, but Kate is determined that Alice chose to help him and she has to deal with it. Brian thinks this jealousy is going way too far; Kate denies she is jealous of Alice, but claims she feels so sorry for her because if anyone put her in that car with that bottle it wasn't Harry: it was Brian and his ill-judged words. At this Brian goes to call for Alice, saying that if Kate wants to play happy families with her and Jakob, he'll leave since it's clear she's the better parent here. Jakob finally gets a gap into which to say that Alice left about a minute ago: he tried to tell them. When Brian asks him whether he thinks Alice overheard, Jakob responds that he thinks it highly unlikely that she didn't.

Alice has fled to Woodbine Cottage; Fallon is very surprised to see her: she just needed to see Fallon was all right and now she's going. Fallon forcefully invites her in.

Jakob is explaining to Brian how it came about that he did not tell anyone for four days that Alice had been drinking. Brian acknowledges that he ought not to have blamed him for Alice's having got so plastered, and Jakob says that he didn't have to say that; Kate feels that he did, and says so. Alice was manipulating Brian: it's what addicts do, and instead of dealing with her, they took it out on Jakob. They mustn't. When Brian claims that he doesn't Kate at once points out that he just admitted that he did. Kate goes on to say that she loves Alice, and wanting her to take responsibility for her actions is not cruel: it is arming her to deal with her life. They all need to stop handling her with kid gloves and stop shielding her from herself. Brian accepts this but suggests they could dissect [he says di-sect. Chris] his parenting skills after they have found Alice. He goes out and Kate says ruefully that it's like he gets it and then they're right back to square one; Jakob disagrees: Brian gets it but doesn't want to admit it. Kate just wants to go back to Jakob's place and hide under the duvet, but Jakob disagrees again: they're not going to do that. They are going to find Alice, bring her back, and only then go and hide under the duvet.

At Woodbine Cottage Fallon gives the distraught Alice something to drink but declines to listen to her wallowing in self-blame; she insists that Alice is to look at her, and says firmly 'I am OK. I am OK.' That doesn't mean that what happened is something she will ever forget, but she is alive and eventually she really will be fine. Alice starts to sob, and Fallon briskly asks why she is crying, and when Alice wails that it's because she hates herself for hurting someone who has done so much for her, Fallon agrees that she has, and Harrison has done a lot for her, and now Fallon wants something back. Alice doesn't understand, and is told that Fallon needs her to stop feeling sorry, and ashamed, and to come back from this. Alice wails some more, that she can't, but Fallon tells her she can, and she will, because she owes it to Fallon. She will stop this hating herself and and what she's done: we can't take anything back, all we can do is move forward, and Alice needs to get back to being a mum to Martha, a sister, a daughter Look at me! – a friend, Alice. In a very small voice, Alice says 'Yes.' The only way this mess will remain a mess is if Alice doesn't get back on her feet, avers Fallon. She needs to get to a place where she can forgive herself. When asked directly, Alice claims she understands. Fallon argues that if she can do that, if she can get back on her feet, then of course she forgives her. No, no tears. Fallon is not prepared to be the excuse Alice uses to let this break her, so do that for Fallon and it's forgiven. Then the door shuts and Fallon groans as Harrison comes in and at once asks what Alice is doing there. Fallon tells Alice she should leave, and Harrison says quietly and bitterly that Fallon can't talk to him, but she's sitting around the the table singing kumbaya with 'this one'. Fallon says 'no' and he says that's what he sees; Alice tries to explain that she just wanted to see Fallon was OK and makes matters worse, because he swears at her and then shouts that they're not OK and bellows that she is to get out and starts either throwing things or smashing one against another. Get out before he throws her out! Fallon seems frightened by the violence of his reaction and shouts to him that Alice is leaving, she's leaving, and tells Alice she needs to go, now, and Alice, outside, says that she is going and she's sorry; Harrison shouts that back at her and asks if she even knows what she's done. Alice says yes, and she can only imagine what she's put them through and she's so sorry. Fallon tells Alice again just to go, to leave, but Alice has to try for the last word until Harrison tells her just to keep walking if she knows what's good for her and get away from this house. Fallon tries to calm him, saying that people are watching, and he tells her that would be right, stick up for Alice. Fallon says that's not what's happening here, and with no self-restraint whatever Harrison shouts at her as well: she doesn't want to talk to him, she doesn't want to be near him, and then he walks in and finds her cosying up with the person who caused it. Alice, bewildered, asks 'caused what', and Harrison tells her, and the village, that Fallon was pregnant before the accident, and now she's not. Viciously, he asks if she is sorry for that? Is she? Alice starts to cry again.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 12th May, 2024

Paul has unexpected cricketing talent and George gets a nasty surprise.

Characters: Chelsea, Freddie, Paul, Tracy, George,
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

There is a shortage of cricketers to play against Farndale: Chris has got Martha, Alistair is working and Rex is away. Freddie fears the match might have to be called off, though Chelsea hopes not: Tracy is having kittens that they might forfeit if they don't get a team together. Kenton and Jolene are stumping up for extra food as a bribe for anyone who agrees to step up and play. Paul now comes in: he has not played cricket since he avoided it as much as possible at school, but has borrowed Chris's whites, even though they are too big and he hasn't quite got the biceps to fill them, and come along. Chelsea is flattering about them, and Paul asks if he can do anything to help with making the teas. She tells him he can grate cheese. He wonders whether Chelsea will be playing, and she explains she is nothing like her mum when it comes to cricket. Paul plans to spend the afternoon day-dreaming: he is there to make up the numbers and look good in photos and they are to expect nothing more from him. Freddie asks him how his mum is, and the answer is that she's not great, really, and spending most days in bed still. Chelsea thinks Denise is amazing and she wouldn't get in that water if you paid her, but Freddie thinks she probably would if someone was stuck in a car and drowning, and she has to admit to a definite maybe. Paul wonders where everyone else is: he thought they were meeting there at twelve. Tom and Adam are setting things up at the ground, according to Chelsea, and Tracy is round at George's trying to persuade him to play: he's not much into the hero vibe, and nor is Alistair. Paul asks Chelsea about Harrison and whether he is still the captain: yes, but he hasn't replied to Tracy's earlier text and Jolene reckons he won't be up for it, not after what... Well, they know. Freddie doesn't know, and she tries not to enlighten him but Paul lets the cat out of the bag: if it's about Fallon, Mum told him. She heard from Alistair. When Freddie wants to know 'heard what?', Paul tells him in hushed tones that Fallon had a miscarriage last week, after the accident. Freddie didn't even know she was pregnant, and thinks that's awful. Chelsea points out with feeling that it's not exactly something you announce on the village notice-board.

Tracy manages to get George's co-operation after a lot of persuasion, mostly by telling him she has told Tilly Button he will be playing, and Molly is on the team as well. She almost blows it by saying Tilly will be eager to hear how he dived into the Am with no thought for himself, because he absolutely doesn't want to talk about it, nor answer stupid questions like was it cold or was he scared. Tracy informs him that people are proud of him, in fact she is proud of him, though he tells her he just did what anyone would. He says he will think about turning out for the team, and she squeals her thanks, though he immediately adds that he didn't say he would actually say yes. There will be a ham sarnie waiting with his name on it, says Tracy, beating a swift retreat before he can change his mind.

Freddie and Paul are packing the sandwiches to take to the ground, and Freddie is talking about wanting Vince to build a gym at the abattoir and Vince not wanting to shell out for one. He's parked that idea for now, and his short-term goal is getting Filipino food served in the canteen. When Tracy gets back she thanks Paul for stepping in, and he tells her too not to expect too much of him. They all then start to badmouth Alice as having done something stupid, and dangerous: Tracy thinks getting behind the wheel of a car blind drunk is unforgivable and she deserves to be locked up, though Chelsea thinks that won't be great for Martha and Freddie personally wouldn't wish jail on anyone. Self-righteously, Paul tells him that because of Alice six people could have drowned in the Am, including Paul's mum.

Later, at the ground, Freddie and the rest of the team are coaching Paul in the hope that he may sometimes expect to hit to ball. The Farndale team are caught in traffic because a bridge is shut, and will be late. Just as Tracy is about to phone George, he turns up, and Paul takes it upon himself to praise him as a hero, so he asks after Denise in order to distract him, and Paul says she is getting there, slowly. Tracy starts to organise the batting order, and the Farndale team arrive.

During the game Paul shows improbable talent with a bat, scoring more than Freddie, who was out for one run. Tom and Adam too failed to make any great score; George is still in when Paul is caught out for twelve and has no idea whether that is a good score or not.

When the game is over Tracy makes a rather cringe-making speech thanking the team for playing, the spectators for watching and Kenton and Jolene for funding the teas. After toasts have been drink Tracy tells Paul he really should join the team, but there is no way: today, he tells her firmly, was a one-off. He is satisfied that he caught out a smug Farndale player who had called him a poof; the rest of the team are incensed by this homophobic word, but Paul can't see the point of complaining, because he will just deny having said it. Tracy remarks that George is very quiet; he says he's just a bit tired after being at the crease for most of the innings, then wonders why Harrison couldn't play: is Fallon all right? Tracy tells him that she thinks they just wanted some time to themselves, and Chelsea mentions that she has been wondering if they ought to get them some flowers. [No point. Burns has probably smashed all the vases. Gus.] George wants to know why, and learns from Tracy that Fallon has had a miscarriage, presumably because of the crash. Horrified, he rushes away saying that he feels sick.

When Chelsea catches up with him he admits that he has been sick, a bit, and he is clearly shaken. She tells him that she is actually quite happy that she is related to him, which really doesn't help; he doesn't want to come back in. She asks whether it is what Mum said about Fallon losing the baby that has upset him, and he brokenly tells her he just didn't know: a baby's died, through him. Chelsea tells him not to be daft. He did everything he could and it is absolutely not his fault.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 13th May, 2024

The grief-vultures are out in force.

Characters: Kirsty, Pip, Chelsea, Fallon, Adam, Alice
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Kirsty encounters Pip down by the Am; they have each decided to walk by Rex's boat and check that it is all right after the heavy rain last night. Since Pip got there first Kirsty asks how the boat is, and if it has any leaks; Pip has been aboard and confirms there are none, but shows Kirsty some damage at the back [sic. Chris] where something has scratched along the paintwork. Kirsty speculates that it could have been debris from the crash, maybe a piece of metal from Mick's car, which apparently more-or-less fell to bits when it was pulled out of the water; Pip excitedly bets that's what it is. She sent a picture to Rex, who plans to repaint it when he gets back, but he is having a bit of a rough time with his father not having recovered as fast as they'd hoped he would, and Toby working in Tuscany this month, she has decided to do that for him. He has asked if she can look after his pigs next week when his friend Sam is otherwise occupied, but she can't commit herself to doing that so maybe fixing the scratches might redeem her. Rex still has the tins of paint from when he decorated [sic. Chris] the boat. Kirsty offers to come and help her do it after Rosie has been fetched from school, at about four. Pip says traffic in and out of the village is still a nightmare.

At the tea-room, Chelsea is trying to get instruction from Fallon, who is busy and tells her she will have to use her initiative. When Chelsea remarks that if they are busy Fallon must be doing something right, Fallon mutters bitterly that that would be a first. Chelsea than takes over a little to help Fallon get the coffee orders out to the customers, and Fallon thanks her for putting up with her, and says she knows they are lucky to have her. Chelsea asks if she is OK, because she looks a bit pale, but Fallon says she is just tired and didn't sleep very well. Chelsea offers to message Natasha and see if she can get some cover so Fallon can go home; Fallon really doesn't want to go home, so Chelsea knuckles down to getting the customers served, and offers to tell Fallon about yesterday's cricket, guaranteed to put her to sleep. Just as she and Fallon are enjoying a laugh about the cricket they are interrupted by Kirsty, who more-or-less insists on having a word with Fallon for two minutes; Chelsea sends them to sit down, though Fallon prefers to go outside for a breath of fresh air.

In hushed, reverent and above all very understanding tones Kirsty knows that Fallon may not be ready to talk about this yet, but wants her to know that Kirsty is here for her. Fallon thanks her politely but doesn't in the least want to talk about it now: she knows everyone else is talking about it but all she wants to do is work and sleep; she is trying not to think too much about anything, not the accident, not the miscarriage. Out of her vast experience Kirsty then tells Fallon how to behave in the event of a tragedy of this magnitude and also tells her how she feels; Fallon is eventually driven to tell her that the cases are completely different: Kirsty wanted Wren, whereas Fallon didn't know she was pregnant and was actively trying to avoid having a baby, though Harrison is heartbroken. The way he lashed out at Alice – she'd never seen him like that. Her voice rising, she complains that now everyone knows, and that is the last thing Fallon wanted; she can barely even look him in the face right now.

Adam has come to tell Alice what she ought to do; his ostensible purpose is to tell her that Lilian was expecting her at her at work this morning, which Alice can't face, though he tells her that it might do her good. She disputes that: people will stare at her, and whisper. He agrees that the first day may be bad, but Lilian can't hold the fort forever; Alice quietly informs him that they all hate her and she doesn't blame them. When he argues that her family don't, she says they should, and that she would hate someone who got so drunk she doesn't even remember driving: Adam is not sure this is helpful. She tells him that when Chris came round with Martha, she was really happy to see her, and she loves her so much, but what she was thinking about was when her daughter would leave so she could have a drink. After a little more guilt-wallowing from Alice and pep-talking from Adam, he gets round to the real reason for his visit: he wants her to come and stay with him and Ian at Honeysuckle Cottage. She has her doubts about Ian wanting Adam's mess of a sister staying with them, but he trumps that: it was Ian who suggested it. They want to sit down with her to discuss her recovery, and invite Chris along too: they can all have dinner together and then Martha can play with Xander while they talk. Alice is sure it won't work, but Adam thinks it might: it worked last time, and now she has them, her support group, and also her buddy Lisa. She says she will think about it and admits she doesn't really want to be there on her own. Adam says he will help her pack a bag for the night.

Kirsty is determined to get her pound of flesh: a 'proper chat' with Fallon. Fallon simply does not want to 'pop round later' for that purpose, though Kirsty is sure it helps to be with someone who knows what you are going through. Fallon is rescued by Chelsea coming out to fetch the teapot and, when she realises Fallon wants to escape, to agree with Fallon's suggestion that she does need Fallon back to re-stock before lunch. Fallon politely thanks Kirsty for coming to see her and is told again that Kirsty is there for her whenever she needs her. Once she is gone Fallon thanks Chelsea, rather more sincerely, and Chelsea shows that she has a great deal more understanding than Kirsty: she remarks that she knows from personal experience just what it's like when everyone knows your business, and they all think they know how you feel, or how they think you should feel, but no-one knows except you and, if you are like Chelsea, even you might not know from one minute to the next.

Kirsty is helping Pip repaint Rex's boat, while Rosie is in the cabin making a get-well-soon card for Grandpa Robin. The two women pat themselves on the back about the rewilding project, although Kirsty and Rex are aware they will have to do more when Peggy's money runs out. Pip asks how Fallon was, and Kirsty extrapolates from her own experience [but not that of Fallon. Chris] that Fallon was 'not great really' and she thinks Fallon is still in shock. Pip is sympathetic, and Kirsty in turn asks about Alice; Pip messaged, but got no response. Did Kirsty hear that Martha is now with Chris full time? Kirsty agrees that the whole thing is so sad, then is distracted by hearing a cuckoo. Pip says that is a symbol of unrequited love in Japan, and uses this factoid as a springboard for asking about Jakob's brother Erik; Kirsty says he is a lot of fun but they are certainly not in love with each other. She hopes the unrequited lover isn't Roy, who has been chatting to Lexi but claims it isn't 'on' again: they are just good friends. He's spending hours at a time on video calls to her, and last night he even had her propped up in the kitchen while he made a shepherd's pie.

Adam is glad that Alice is at Honeysuckle Cottage; she jokes that she didn't think he'd take no for an answer. When asked how she is feeling she says she is nervous of Ian coming home, and of seeing Chris; Adam assures her it'll be fine, and they are her tribe. The children will normalise everything anyway, just by being noisy, messy and demanding. Alice is really grateful they are both happy for her to stay there, and already feels a bit better; Adam thinks that is great, but does have one thing he has to get clear: this is Xander's home, and – 'no drinking', interrupts Alice, and promises that she won't.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 14th May, 2024

You can lead a vet to water, but you can't make him blink.

Characters: Jakob, Adam, Alistair, Paul, Alice, Lisa
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Outside the shop Jakob bumps into Adam; he is glad to see him, though he doesn't actually say why that is. The conversation is about how they have all failed Alice, and the ways in which getting it wrong has caused trouble for various people: Jakob blames himself for not telling Kate at once about Alice getting drunk, though Adam tries to reassure him. Kate has told Jakob that Alice is staying with Adam and Ian, and, when asked how it has gone so far, Adam says she stayed sober last night, at least, though that might have been not as a result of any resolve of hers but because they threw out all the alcohol and Ian, Chris and Adam were there to keep an eye on her. Neither man feels able to say whether she wants to stop drinking. Adam says she has agreed not to drink in the house and seems very wary of going into the village [Adam and Ian live in the middle of the village, so she already is in the village. Chris] so maybe she won't have the opportunity; Jakob depressingly says that alcoholics always tend to find a way. Adam agrees and says that's why he is da shing home to check how she is: she isn't answering his calls.

At the vets' surgery Alistair is trying to treat Paul like a normal colleague and make small-talk about the practice, and asks after Denise. It seems she has texted Paul to say Dad is still 'hovering', and he keeps telling Paul how proud he is of her; he has even made her chicken soup to her own special recipe, which Denise praised. She is mostly still in bed, feeling weak as soon as she sits up. According to Paul her big ambition is to get downstairs and watch some TV with Dad this week, which Alistair categorises as sounding 'cosy', a word which Paul instantly questions and Alistair amends to 'a nice ambition' before offering to make some coffee. Paul would prefer fennel tea, and then before Alistair can leave goes back to his obsession with the paperwork for the call-out to a sheep with unknown ownership. He apologises for being such a jobsworth but doesn't stop nagging.

When Adam gets home unexpectedly at lunchtime saying that he wanted to make himself a sandwich Alice is very taken aback, and doesn't want one herself when he offers. He tells her that he has picked some things up at the shop and was hoping she could make a lasagne for dinner; she agrees that of course she will and was going to make dinner anyway to earn her keep. Adam wants to know if she's OK, and when she says she is fine and he should go and make his sandwich, he stares at her enough for her to notice it and ask him to stop because he is freaking her out. He tells her she has had a drink, which she denies, claiming that if she is being weird it's because he is making her self-conscious: this isn't going to work if he doesn't trust her. Accusingly, he tells her they had a deal, and she retorts that he is as bad as Kate and if he doesn't want her there he could just say. He reminds her that he can't have her drinking there: he needs to know that when he brings Xander through the door he's not going to find her drunk or passed out on the floor. [Why? At four-and-a-half Xander is unlikely to care. He might even think that fun. Chris.] Alice decides that she doesn't need this and is just going to go back to The Nest. He immediately tells her she is not to do that, and when she starts to argue wildly with him tells her that he loves her and wants her to get better. She doesn't believe that she will, or even can, get better, and nothing works for her; he starts to chide her for having succeeded in getting sober once but then having stopped doing the things that were keeping her sober and got her through Mum dying and got her through her divorce; he doesn't know what went wrong this time. Alice snarls that it went wrong because she's wrong; she killed a baby! He asks when she last spoke to Lisa, and when she claims to have tried ringing, and got no answer, he assumes she is lying, and then tells her that he wants her to agree to ring Lisa. Alice argues against doing so, since ringing Lisa is not a magic bullet, but his threats to follow her back to The Nest and stay with her there and refuse to leave her alone, plus obvious emotional blackmail and tears, eventually coerce her into agreeing to make the phone call he thinks will be important and helpful.

When Jakob comes into the surgery Alistair appeals to him to confirm that Paul need not concern himself with what is a matter for HQ, while Paul asserts he is determined, since Don's last visit, to have everything absolutely accounted for to the last penny and keep meticulous records of his own, so that Don will find nothing to complain about. Alistair points out that he could be one hundred per cent perfect and Don would still complain, but Paul is determined to show his spandy new system to Jakob, and also demands more details from Alistair. Jakob breaks in to tell Alistair that he needs to check over the pet-food orders with Paul; Alistair can sort out all this information Paul needs and speak to him later.

Alice does ring Lisa, not really to seek her help but in order to tell her that she is only ringing because her brother told her to; she no longer wants Lisa as a buddy and no longer wants to be part of the system which has failed to work for her. She doesn't want to get back on track because there is absolutely no point: it's too late for her.

Paul having been removed, Jakob tells Alistair that this whole situation is becoming infuriating. Alistair proceeds to tell him his troubles with Paul and what has been going on, but Jakob really doesn't want to know. He doesn't care what Alistair does; just sort it out. Alistair grumbles on, incidentally revealing that he and Denise never made it to the hotel so all the lies and stress were for something that never happened: diving into a freezing river turns out to be something of a passion killer, a remark Jakob finds almost funny. He and Denise must look like a couple of characters from a bad romcom, Alistair says bitterly. Paul walks in and immediately nebs in, asking who is in a bad romcom, and Alistair says Jakob is. Jakob denies having a clue what Alistair is going on about, and adds that thankfully, he has a call-out to a horse in Darrington, and horses don't spin elaborate stories.

Alice is telling her woes to Lisa, who is singularly unimpressed, and uses having 'killed a baby' as a sort of ultimate argument for her own worthlessness. In the face of Alice's refusal to want to listen, and her repeating that she no longer wants Lisa to be her buddy, Lisa doesn't argue further with her decision to choose drink over sobriety, just tells her the group will still be there if she changes her mind. Alice rings off. Adam, who has clearly been listening in to her side of the conversation, opens the door and asks how it went; Alice at once lies and says it went OK: at least Lisa understands. Alice is an alcoholic, and nothing and no-one can change that. Adam tries to argue otherwise: remember the plan, Lisa, the meetings, rehab... Alice resignedly says that might work for others; not for her. In the end she just has to accept that she's a waste of space and doesn't deserve help from anyone. So that's it, Adam; sorry. She knows it's not what he wants to hear, but she's done.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 15th May, 2024

Sometimes people just want to make up their own minds about their own lives.

Characters: Fallon, Jolene, Adam, Alice, Ruairi
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Unexpectedly early, Fallon turns up at The Bull longing for a cuppa; her scan is at ten this morning and she wants Jolene to go with her when she has it. She didn't sleep, and doesn't know how she is feeling about anything; Harrison is insisting on coming along for the scan even though she told him he didn't have to, and Jolene can see that he wouldn't want her to be on her own. Fallon just thought that if Jolene came too it might dilute things. She tries to explain: everything is so intense, and she's finding it hard to be in the same room as him. His telling Alice about the miscarriage is part of it: the way he spoke to her – Fallon's never seen him so angry, it was almost scary, she thought he might actually grab her. Jolene argues that he didn't, and she does understand his anger towards Alice; Fallon feels that Alice hasn't come out of this unscathed, and just because Harrison is convinced that the crash caused the miscarriage, that's not necessarily true: people lose early pregnancies for all sorts of reasons. Jolene, having no answer for that, asks whether Harrison knows Fallon is round there; no, Fallon told him she was going to get milk. So he doesn't know she has asked Jolene to come to the scan? Jolene really thinks it might be awkward to turn up. Fallon protests unhappily that they are barely talking to each other, and if they were she doesn't know what they'd say. She's scared they will make things worse between them. Jolene's view is that relationships don't get put to the test in the good times, it's facing the tough times together that keeps your marriage strong. Emotionally, she informs Fallon that they love each other and they want their future to be together; every couple has bumps in the road. Fallon feels they have huge great mountains, not bumps, and she hardly even wants to look at him at the moment. Jolene wants to know whether they had a chance to talk about the pregnancy between being told it existed and being told it had failed; not really, but Fallon knew he was thrilled, she knows how he feels about having children; Jolene reminds her that he knows how she feels.. That's another thing, Fallon exclaims: it feels so unfair, she was careful, she had the coil; Jolene believes it's effective most of the time and that Fallon was unlucky. Fallon is getting impatient: so why would Harrison immediately assume things would change for her? Jolene questions that he did that, but Fallon is sure: it was like he had never heard anything she said about not wanting to be a mum, or never really believed that she meant what she said about it. Jolene suggests that the longer Fallon bottles things up, the harder it will be to talk. 'They' [by whom it is clear she means Fallon, since she is not addressing Burns. Chris] must be kind to each other, and patient; they both might need time to get to where they need to be; don't shut each other out.

Adam is riding herd on Alice again, and she is heartily fed up with all the relentless problem solvers. They can't just fix her. Adam heavily remarks that he thinks her being there is making things worse, and she snaps that him watching her every minute of the day is making things worse. He has asked Brian to come and fetch her. No way! Alice is not going to Blossom Hill Cottage. Adam tells her flatly that she is, and then, effectively, continues to order her to do as he has decided that she must. As she is telling him that it's a shame he can't lock her in the attic and throw away the key, his ding-dong-doorbell chimes and Alice gratefully goes to answer the door. It's Ruairi and he has come to spend some time with her.

On the way home in the car, Fallon remarks that it's good there are no complications, and Harrison agrees; she thanks him for coming with her and he says of course he would; 'this was our pregnancy', he tells her, and he wanted to be there, he would have been there every step of the way. She tells him that they do need to talk about this, because they haven't really, not about the pregnancy or the miscarriage, not since the night when he told Alice. He mutters 'not that again' and asks if she's going to start going on about the way he spoke to Alice, the woman who killed their child. She disputes the word and he asks whether this is really the time to be pedantic after they have just had it confirmed that there is no... baby. He wanted to be there to comfort her, but she really does seem fine. Fallon snaps: would he rather she was crying? When he asks what that's supposed to mean she says she doesn't know and it doesn't matter. He claims not to want to get into an argument: he raises his voice as he asserts that's the last thing they need right now. Fallon suggests maybe they need a bit of space if they are going to get through this. She doesn't want to upset him; she knows how hard this is for him; he tells her it is hard for her too, to have all this to deal with [meaning his tantrums and self-centred stupidity, though he doesn't realise he is the only source of Fallon's troubles. Chris] on top of the shock of the crash, and he knows Alice was, is her friend. She tries to tell him it's not that simple, because even though she hates what Alice did she knows Alice needs help, and that won't come from their anger. Stung, Harrison wants to know if she had to invite her in? That was so wrong! Fallon becomes indignant: that's how he sees it, taking it personally, but it wasn't about him! He exclaims that that is what hurts: she wasn't thinking about how he felt at all. Fallon can no longer be bothered to answer: never mind, she thinks she'll stay at The Bull tonight. That way they might sleep better, with no chance of getting into a stupid fight and saying things that they don't mean. Harrison, crushed, tells her he could sleep on the sofa, but she would actually like to have a night or two at Mum's; he says that's OK if that's what she wants, and she asks him to drop her straight there; she just wants some sleep, and will come back to the house later to get her stuff. She thinks it will be good for them to have time to process things, and he reluctantly agrees; she tells him that she does love him, and he says he loves her too.

Alice has had a shower and is now ready to go back to The Nest; Ruairi tells her Adam has had to dash off after a call from Tony about packing problems with the strawberries and says he'll see her later; not if Alice sees him first, she mutters, whereat Ruairi tells her that Adam's heart is in the right place. He tries unsuccessfully to tempt her to eat, and she asks how he knew she was with Adam; Brian told him. She asks whether Ruairi knows the plan is to force her to stay with him and Kate, and Ruairi says no, he didn't, but to be honest he thought maybe he could stay with her at The Nest, and after speaking to Adam he thinks that might suit everyone. Alice is vaguely insulted: she doesn't need a babysitter. Ruairi tells her he isn't there to babysit, he's there because he thinks she could do with a dose of her little brother's charm and good looks. She asks suspiciously whether he is going to be watching her like a hawk to stop her from drinking, and he responds that he doesn't think that would do any good, would it. She agrees it wouldn't. He suggests that at The Nest, if she feels she needs a drink then he'll join her.

Fallon has reached sanctuary in The Bull and broken down in tears, explaining to the concerned Jolene that she thought she was going to drown in Mick's car, she couldn't breathe, she thought she was dying; Jolene comfortingly tells her she is OK now and Jolene has got her, and of course she can stay there for the night. She then asks if everything went as expected at the hospital, which it did, and did Fallon manage to talk to Harrison? Fallon explains that he is so disappointed in her, even if he didn't say so in so many words: he's behaving as if he'd lost a child and Fallon just can't feel that. She's sad, and kind of bruised, but she's not grieving, she sobs. Jolene proposes to get her snuggled up in the spare bed with the curtains drawn so she can sleep a bit; it might not make everything better but she'll feel that much more able to cope.

Over a glass of wine Alice confides to Ruairi that Dad told her Mum would be ashamed of her; Ruairi replies that people say things that they don't always mean, which Alice takes to be a reference to things she has said in the past but he assures her means both of them having said things they wish they hadn't. As she is mentioning Jennifer's bequest in trust for Martha, Adam knocks on the door and she goes and lets him in, offering him a glass of wine. He is incredulous: what?! She informs him that she and Ruairi are just having a glass of Shiraz before dinner. He demands of Ruairi to know what's going on; Ruairi suggests that Alice might go and get Adam a cup of tea instead, and when she has gone to the kitchen Adam turns on him, demanding to know what he thinks he is up to. Ruairi explains that the way he sees it, she is going to drink whatever they do, so he decided it would be better if he drinks with her. Adam laughs scornfully: Ruairi surely isn't naive enough to think she's going to drink less because she is sharing with him? Ruairi concedes that he may be right, but until Alice is ready to get help again it might be best to have him, kind of, supervising her. Adam snorts, but Ruairi sharply asks if he has a better idea, and he clearly hasn't, though he warns Ruairi not to be surprised if while he has one or two social drinks Alice is secretly necking vodka, or to think that the fact of his company is suddenly going to make her drink sensibly. Patiently, Ruairi tells him that he is not stupid; and Dad said she was drinking in Adam's house even though he had put his foot down and chucked away all the booze. Adam concedes that's true. Ruairi is going to ask Alice to come to London with him for a bit: what does Adam think? Adam doesn't know, but it's not doing her any good being in Ambridge and a change of scene might do her good.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 16th May, 2024

Alistair continues to tangle his web, while George is becoming enmeshed.

Characters: Kenton, George, Alistair, Mick, Kirsty, Fallon
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

In The Bull garden, Kenton has sought out George to praise the Bartleby posts, which he and 'Dave' enjoyed yesterday evening. However, what he is really there to praise is George himself: what he did was brave and selfless. George asserts awkwardly that anyone would have done it, and Kenton tells him that they feel terrible about banning him from The Bull; they want to give him a small token to keep: it's a pint glass engraved with 'George Grundy, Local Hero'. They'll keep it for him at The Bull for whenever he comes in [so which is it, Kenton: he keeps it, or you keep it? Chris.] and they won't take no for an answer. George thanks him: that's class. Now he has to get on: he's supposed to be checking on Ed's Texels while Ed is away. Kenton doesn't want to hold him up, but there is one more thing: the main reason he is there is that Fallon would like to talk to George. George seems apprehensive, but Kenton doesn't notice and carries on: she feels bad that she hasn't come to see him, and was hoping he could pop into The Bull tonight so she can thank him in person. George is reluctant: she's texted him already, and he doesn't want a big fuss. Kenton confesses he is there because Fallon has been hiding herself away, and Kenton and Jolene think that coming down to the bar to have a drink with George will do her good. If Kenton thinks it will help Fallon George will do it, but probably won't stay long; he'll be home at about six and can come in then. Kenton is grateful.

Alistair has gone over to Joy's house to ask after the patient and take her some flowers, and also, it turns out, to try to work out with Mick an exact story about the phantom sheep for them to tell to Paul. Paul just keeps on going on about it and sooner or later he is going to work out why Alistair and his mother were together in the dark in the middle of nowhere. Mick points out that the pair saved everyone's lives, and the least they are owed is a bit of discretion. Alistair explains it's a bit more than that, because he needs somehow to quell Paul's fanaticism about record keeping and his claim he has to record the exact time and location of every call [even ones that are nothing to do with the practice in which he works. Chris]. Mick gets out an ordnance survey map of the area; as he is getting it out Kirsty comes downstairs and asks if they are planning an expedition; Alistair produces another lie, this one about them loving hiking, which inevitably leads Kirsty to want to join them some time. Meanwhile, she has come down to heat up the cottage pie she has brought over for Joy; Mick invites Alistair to join them for the meal. Alistair says that it smells wonderful [even though it has not yet gone in the oven. Chris], which seems to be acceptance.

True to his word, George has gone to The Bull, where Kenton tells him that he and Jolene would like to treat the whole family to a steak and ale supper on Friday night but George reminds him that Emma and Ed are away doing their tree surgery training. Kenton asks how that's going; George has seen Emma, who came back to take an exam, and it sounds as if she is loving it. Fallon comes over and greets George, and Kenton leaves them to it, offering to get Fallon a drink; all she wants is a sparkling water. He offers George another pint, which George turns down. Fallon does a valiant job of conversing quite rationally about the accident and laughing about getting waterweed in her pockets, though they do agree that it was scary. She then starts to tell George he has given the whole village a reason to be proud, with which he seems less comfortable; when she tells him he is amazing he states that he is really not, and he wishes he'd never gone out that night; she is taken aback because that would mean she probably wouldn't be there. He seems sure that she would, but then wishes he could have got her out a bit quicker, because he's heard what happened to her. He wasn't going to say anything, but if he'd done things differently that wouldn't have happened, and she and Harrison would still be... Fallon breaks in. It wasn't really – it was very early and they hadn't told anyone, they didn't even know themselves until after the crash. She doesn't want this to be something that George even has to think about; low-voiced, George says he is really sorry anyway. Opportunely [for perhaps the first time in his life. Chris] Kenton brings over Fallon's drink and also, because Jolene insisted, the pint that George refused. George tries to leave, and Fallon makes a joke about getting used to table service and needing to hang around with heroes more often.

It is Kirsty's opinion that Joy seems a bit better today, and Mick enthuses that she certainly enjoyed Kirsty's cottage pie; Alistair chimes in that they all did. Kirsty is going to pop up and say goodbye to Joy, then go back to being a gooseberry at Willow Farm, where Roy is not 'seeing someone' but is spending a lot of time on video calls with Lexi. Mick thinks it sounds like love is in the air, but Kirsty doesn't think so: they used to be a couple, but she lives in Bulgaria now. When she has gone upstairs,Mick announces it is back to sex, lies and injured sheep, and Alistair complains that there was no sex; Mick adds that neither was there an injured sheep, and Alistair says that just leaves the lies, then. Mick wants to get back to the fake facts for Paul, and Alistair starts the business of concocting exact details of the story he is to tell. After some discussion of times and places, Mick feels that it's none of his business, but Paul is a grown man: has Alistair ever thought of telling him the truth? Alistair would love to, but it isn't his truth to tell.

Kenton wants to know how it went with George, and Fallon thinks it went all right but George seems a bit down. He was so brave last Sunday but he really didn't seem himself tonight. None of that brash self-confidence, and he even admitted how scary it was. She hopes he's OK: it's a lot for a nineteen-year-old to take on. He seems to be over-thinking everything. She wonders if she can do more to help him; Kenton is sure the Grundys are looking out for George, and she needs to look after herself. Fallon laughs: that's what Mum says, and Chelsea kept telling her to take breaks at the tea-room and saying she could cope on her own. But she needs to be busy; she needs to stay distracted otherwise she might just implode, or explode, and either way it would be messy. Kenton changes the subject: did she hear that Alice is going to stay with Ruairi in London? Fallon is concerned about Martha, though as far as Kenton is concerned Martha has a huge loving family to look after her, and Chris is a great dad. Fallon knows. Kenton mentions that Jolene has told him Fallon is staying with them again tonight; yes, she is, if that's all right. She doesn't think she can handle being back in the house with Harrison just yet. She feels disloyal admitting that to Kenton, though she's sure Harrison feels the same way, and Kenton asks whether she has spoken to him today; apparently he sent her a funny GIF about shiny plates, which is an in-joke. She texted him to let him to let him know she was meeting up with George and he was pleased about that, which Kenton thinks is good. She then muses that she misses Harrison when she's not with him but she knows that if she want home now they'd either dance around each other not speaking, or get into a pointless fight. Kenton comfortingly assures her she can stay at The Bull for as long as she needs, but adds that it might get harder, not easier, to talk. Fallon takes his point: never go to bed on an argument. Then she fires up; whoever said that has obviously never been in a relationship with another human being! She and Kenton laugh over that and then her phone sounds: it's Harrison. He got her message and thinks they should write a nice post about George on his socials. 'Blow his trumpet for him' is what Harrison says; Kenton thinks that a nice idea. Harrison wants to come over, she adds: is that all right? Kenton assures her that of course it is. She wonders if this might actually be the key to spending some time together: focus on someone else and keep well away from their own troubles. Any chatter that isn't entirely about George, our very own Ambridge super-hero, is strictly off limits.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 17th May, 2024

Jennifer spins in her grave as Alice is rebuked by a Horrobin.

Characters: Alice, Ruairi, Chelsea, George, Tracy, Chris
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Having agreed to go to London with Ruairi, Alice now says she's changed her mind and doesn't think she'll come with him: he has his final exams to revise for. He assures her that it's really not a problem: the exams are nearly over and he has no solid plans for the summer yet. She is fairly sure his housemates won't take kindly to his ancient sister slobbing around the place, so he tells her that it's all fine with his housemates. Dad will give them a lift to the station tomorrow morning so they ought to pack today. Alice prevaricates, then panics: she can't come, she doesn't want to be in London. He soothes her, and she produces her ace: she doesn't want to leave Martha. He gets that; she then adds she doesn't want Martha seeing her in this state either because she might be old enough to have memories that stick. Alice is working herself up, and Ruairi makes it clear that she doesn't have to stay for long; the idea is just to get her away from Ambridge for a bit. While she does some swift shallow breathing to indicate her distress at the idea that he might try to stop her from drinking, he does lay down some rules: drink only in the house and only when he is with her. He doesn't want her getting drunk on her own. Alice reminds him that she hasn't always been very nice to him when she was drunk, which he ignores to tell her that he doesn't want her getting into danger or breaking the terms of her bail. [She told Brian that the police had let her out unconditionally; bail was not mentioned. That would mean she must have been released pending further investigation, which is the alternative to bail. Chris.] She agrees to his terms, then wants to ring Chris to arrange to see Martha before she goes. After she has done that Ruairi wants to get some fresh air with her, but she doesn't want to go out because she doesn't want anyone to see her. Ruairi suggests that they'd be doing Aunt Lilian a favour if they took Champion out on his lead rein, and she agrees to do that: it's a good excuse to put off the packing.

Chelsea is cutting George's hair in the kitchen; Tracy objects on the grounds of not wanting to find clippings in her bolognese. Tracy sees Chris on the green and goes out to catch him and save herself from going over later. She rushes off saying she hasn't forgotten the steak and ale meal at The Bull later, and Chelsea asks George who is going to be there. Everyone, it seems: Clarrie and Eddie, Will, Keira, Susan and Neil, Chelsea, Tracy, Brad and Bert. Chelsea quips that it turns out George is useful for something. It seems Susan has baked him a cake, and Oliver has got him a magnum of champagne; Chelsea jokes that he is living his best life. He hopes people will forget about it soon, but Chelsea doubts it after what Fallon posted on his page. He didn't know about that, so Chelsea shows him.

Tracy has successfully waylaid Chris and says she will walk with him to collect Martha and take her for an extra afternoon at nursery. She sympathises with him being pressed for time now, and says she and Jazzer would love to help out if they can: they could have Martha tomorrow and take her for a walk and to the park and then give her tea. Chris reckons that would be brilliant in case he gets held up at work. He doesn't mind work, and being at the forge actually helps to take his mind off Alice. Tracy has heard she is going to stay in London with Ruairi; it sounds to Tracy as if she's running away from the mess she's made. Chris mutters that it might be better for all of them. He is so tired all the time, Alice is barely functioning and Martha is unsettled and sleeping badly, with epic tantrums. Chris is finding it difficult visiting Alice with Martha: sort of weird and formal. He blurts out that he is never sure if Alice will have had a drink, and when it's time to leave Martha usually has a meltdown; he comes home drained. Tracy feels sympathy: if it weren't for Martha he could just walk away, and Alice really is a piece of work. Chris corrects her: Alice is ill. Tracy knows that, but Alice is also a spoilt little posh girl, and here Chris is, basically a single dad, with Alice living it up in London. Is she going to at least try to stop drinking? Chris has no idea. Tracy just hopes Martha isn't all grown up before Alice gets her act together. Chris really thought she had cracked it, and Tracy agrees she hadn't touched a drink for over two years, but as he says, even if she does stop drinking now, what's to say she won't start again, and again, year after year of drama? How does he help Martha grow up dealing with that kind of uncertainty? He catches himself on a sob.

While she cuts his hair Chelsea goes on bigging up George, telling him that he should seize the moment, what with his talking horse and an action adventure river rescue: 'You're clickbait, mate,' she tells him. On the other hand, George should be careful: Brad says every superman has their kryptonite. When she read what Fallon wrote on his page she proper teared up; George tells her the Borchester Echo want to do a feature on him, and Chelsea shrieks excitedly that they're going to be the next Kardashians if George plays his cards right, and she'll be doing haircuts for the stars. George wonders if it's a bit much, when people got hurt: will everyone be judging him? Chelsea assures him hurt is nothing and they would be dead if it weren't for him. So mop up the praise and the presents: he is the man right now, and they all get steak and ale to celebrate. He tells Chelsea about the engraved glass, which she thinks really cool. She is pleased with how his hair has turned out, and would want a photo of him for her website if he'd smile for it. However, when he asks for another coffee she wants him to move his butt because she has another client in five minutes: has he got work to go to, or does he just lounge about like a grumpy Greek god now?

Alice is enjoying the walk with Ruairi, exercising Champion, and Ruairi spots a dormouse [in spite of these being nocturnal and living in trees. Chris] which Alice likens to Martha when she was a baby. Their happy talk is interrupted by Tracy, who comes up and verbally attacks Alice; Ruairi tells her they are on their farm and entitled to have a peaceful walk without listening to her ignorant comments, but since she is on a public right of way he can't get rid of her, and Alice asks him to leave it. She then tries to explain that she is doing something useful by walking Martha's pony, but Tracy is unimpressed: it would be more useful to get her act together and look after her daughter; Tracy hears she is leaving anyway and reckons it might be a good idea not to come back. She thinks that at this stage Chris, Martha and everyone else around Ambridge would be better off without Alice.

Chelsea is delightedly teasing George by reading out comments from his page: 'George Grundy, you're hot! I'd drown if you'd save me!' and the like. He is half-flattered and half scared by the reactions, and points out that Fallon's post is driving traffic to his Bartleby videos too. Chelsea is glad something is cheering him up: if they want to be a celebrity family people have to want to be them, and no-one has ever wanted to be a gloomy farm-hand. Tracy brings over their drinks and Chelsea tells her about the interview with the Echo, which Tracy thinks is brilliant; she starts dreaming up headlines for the piece. Chelsea suggests 'Who Cut The Hero's Hair?' and gets a laugh.

While Alice is in the other room saying goodbye to Martha, Ruairi is very quietly discussing her with Chris, whom he tells (after saying that he hopes he hasn't been treading on toes) that he suggested the London idea when it was clear she was having a hard time from people round here; he has taken their run-in with Tracy as a sign of the way things are going to be for a while. Chris was really hoping she'd go back to rehab and there would be one good thing to come from the accident, but Ruairi has realised that she is obviously not ready: she has to want to do it for it to have a chance of working. And then there is the threat of the court case: Chris asks if she has talked to Ruairi about that, but she hasn't, much. He's glad she will be with someone who cares about her, and Ruairi muses that she has done her fair share of caring for him when he needed her, for all that they've had their run-ins in the past. Chris warns him that for all she has agreed to keep her drinking under control, he doubts she'll stick to it; if she was capable of being a social drinker she wouldn't be an alcoholic. Ruairi is under no illusions about that; he can only do his best to keep her safe until she feels ready to come back. Chris is still shocked about the drink-driving: he just never thought she would. When Alice comes back down after reading to Martha and singing her to sleep, she starts to cry as she apologises to Chris, and Ruairi offers to wait outside while they say goodbye, but Alice doesn't want that and is ready to go. Chris reassures her that Martha will be fine, though of course she will miss her; they'll make sure she is kept busy. Alice must expect to get a lot of scribbly drawings of Champion – he thinks she still prefers drawing him to riding him – and Alice says she'll look forward to them. He tells Alice that he is going to miss her too, and she tells him not to be daft. He than gives her a print of the photo of Martha dressed as the Hungry Caterpillar for world book day, because he remembers that she really loved it, and she thanks him. He chokes out a goodbye and tells them to look after each other, while Alice fights back tears and then sobs out that she is going to miss Martha so much and doesn't know what she's going to do. Chris offers video calls whenever she wants, and tells her just to take a break and try to get better and she promises she'll try; he knows she will. She adds that she will miss him, too.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 19th May, 2024

Pigs can be quite stroppy about their young (dead or alive).

Characters: Fallon, Harrison, Pat, George, Kirsty
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Jeremy Howe
Editor: Jeremy Howe

After her short stay with her mother, Fallon has returned to Woodbine Cottage and is attempting to converse normally with Harrison; after telling him about some amusing incident at The Bull, she tells him she is sorry she left him on his own, and he seems to have accepted that she needed her mum; she does a little justifying about her reason, then tells him it's good to be home and gets the answer that it's good to have her back. After a long pause he asks if her ribs are still painful and she replies that it depends what she is doing but it's getting less. He asks if she is feeling a bit better now; I guess, she replies. After another pause she asks how he is doing, she means now that Alice is gone to London. He allows that at least he won't be bumping into her, which is a relief. Fallon just hopes she sorts herself out, for Martha's sake, and Chris's; Harrison says crossly that's up to Alice. After another long pause, during which someone slurps coffee, Fallon brightly exclaims how glad she is that the dishwasher is fixed, but when she asks what was wrong Harrison seems not to know, nor what was done to fix it. He is cagey about paperwork for the job, and Fallon doesn't pursue the matter apart from thanking him for staying in for the engineer: she hopes it didn't mess up his shifts. He informs her he is not in until Wednesday, which surprises her; he's still off work? She's been back at the tea-room ages. Is he allowed this much time? As one explaining to an idiot, he tells her it's called compassionate leave, and she tells him she knows that, but two and a half weeks? He mutters that he swapped a few shifts and topped it up with annual leave, which distresses her: she thought they were saving that up for a summer holiday. Almost angrily he tells her there's enough left for a holiday, and he needed the time, OK? By the end he is almost shouting, and she immediately tries to placate him, saying that she gets that and she's sorry. Then she adds that he can't just hole up there, he needs to get back out there and get back to normal. He repeats 'normal' in a dazed way, then again with determination, puts down his cup and says he is going out in a minute: the match against Leyton Cross starts at two so he'd better get changed. She thinks it's good that he's going, but what about his coffee? He tells her he'll leave it, thanks.

The outfield is very dry, according to Pat [it's the Ambridge micro-climate again. Chris], and George opines in that case it will be a fast game. She remarks that the Leyton Cross players are remarkably quiet, not full of their usual wit and banter, and must have heard about the crash. Kirsty stops by to wish Pat luck playing as a substitute for Hannah, who is at home with her mother this weekend. Kirsty is not playing, but is on her way to look after Rex's pigs at Lower Loxley because Sammy, who was looking after them, has other work this week. Rex's dad can't cope on his own so Rex is still looking after him. George inquires whether Kirsty knows about pigs, and she says 'no' [which considering she went out with pig-obsessed Tom for years is quite remarkable. Chris] but thinks there is not a lot to do, with Rex's set-up, so how hard can it be? The pigs at Bridge Farm loved her. Pat is distinctly dubious about the project but Kirsty is sure she will manage. She says pigs like calm people and she is a calm person; George snorts with suppressed laughter before solemnly agreeing with her. Pat then asks if she knows about Joy's surprise birthday tea this Friday; Helen told her, and Kirsty agrees that Joy really needs cheering up. She's still in a lot of pain. Pat has heard that Mick is inviting Rochelle, if he can get hold of her, and when Kirsty says it would be amazing to meet her daughter at last, speaks of 'the enigma that is Rochelle'. She had better get to Lower Loxley, and goes on her way conjuring both of them to 'break a leg'.

Tracy has won the toss and George had better get padded up, but who is this? Yes, Pat, it is Harrison! She wasn't expecting him. He got stuck behind a horse-box in the diversion, apparently. He realises they won the toss and goes to get padded up, and incidentally change Tracy's batting order, since he was not on that at all. When Pat questions this he simply says he's the captain and Tracy will have to lump it. Pat points out that Tracy has had to organise everything in his and Chris's absence, but he clearly doesn't care and is dismissive: he knows what he is doing.

All has not gone as Kirsty planned with the pigs, since Sammy's handover was less than exhaustive, so she has rung Jazzer (who is at the cricket match) for more exact instructions about bedding for the pigs. She doesn't want to make a fool of herself by ringing Rex, whom she may have misled over how much she knew about pigs. Jazzer gives her a great deal of good advice, while also telling her that Harrison has been taking a lot of risks and has now been caught out; Kirsty then starts to want to play with some piglets which approach her, and in spite of Jazzer desperately trying to warn her not to do so, starts to pet them. Then the sow approaches too and is being hostile, which makes Kirsty scream as she runs away. [Misleading writing there: that sow would have had the silly woman. Chris.]

Whilst they are fielding Pat tells George that customers in the shop have been asking after him, presumably after seeing on social media what a hero he is; George feels that he ought to get back into position because Tom is starting his run-up. The batsman slogs, and George makes a catch. Harrison jeers unpleasantly at the man who has just been caught out [which is pretty pointless, since sledging someone who has been caught out is not going to put him off his stroke. Chris] and then shouts at the rest of the team; Pat is shocked. Even George doesn't like it, saying he thought they were supposed to be polite. To distract Pat, he tells her Harrison has him to be vice-captain while Chris is out of the team, which also worries Pat: she thinks the obvious person is surely Tracy, and George agrees with her; he's only been in the team a few weeks and Tracy's going to freak.

Kirsty has survived the sow, and when she rings Jazzer again doesn't mention that at all, just wishes he could come and help her; he cheerfully tells her that biosecurity says no. She has now noticed that the boar, Jackson, is limping, and is horrified when Jazzer instructs her that she will have to give the animal an anti-inflammatory injection. He then tells her he will see her later because Harrison is about to start a full-on scrap with the opposition, and rings off, leaving her shouting desperately at the phone.

Harrison is gloating to his team about their victory, and reminding them about the Ambridge T20 next week, for which they should all sign up. [So the single wicket really has been done away with. Chris.] Pat then tries to call him to order a little, about sledging and Tracy, but it's a failure: he simply tells her offensively that before she starts getting involved in the bigger decisions she could have a look at her bowling: does she reckon she could have a good practice this week, because her deliveries were way too predictable; why not slip in the odd googly or an occasional quicker ball, eh? Keep the opposition on their toes, maybe have a chat with Tom, who is a master of surprise. When she indignantly reminds him she only stepped in because Tracy was short, he says that was good of her, but everyone has to earn their place in the team, doesn't she reckon? Then he shouts, 'OK, bye everyone' and leaves.

Summarised by Chris

Monday 20th May, 2024

Freddie and George discuss prison, and a heifer breaks out of Brookfield.

Characters: Lily, Ben, Alistair, Freddie, George, David
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Jeremy Howe
Editor: Jeremy Howe

A Brookfield heifer has been found by Lily stuck in a ditch, and she has summoned Ben, who fetched phoneless David from a top field; David is bringing the front loader and a hip-clamp. Ben and Lily conclude that the animal must have broken through a fence somewhere; the rest of the heifers are up near the orchard. Lily heard her bellowing from the road. Lily's reason for being on Brookfield land is that she was driving home from Brookfield farmyard avoiding the broken bridge by taking the ford across the Am [which would be more plausible if there were a road on either side of that ford, but there is not: there are footpaths. Chris], but there is a delivery van broken down and blocking the whole lane. According to Ben this means two of the roads from the farm to the village are blocked: he wishes they would get on with the repairs, and that people would just use the diversion. Lily remarks they never knew how crucial Heydon Bridge was until the crash [or even which bridge it was, which the listeners still don't know. Chris]. Because Ben's hands are too muddy to use a phone Lily rings Alistair for him; he is just finishing a call near Lakey Hill and will come as soon as he can. He assumes the quickest way is through the ford, but Lily tells him he can't get through because there is a broken-down van; if he pulls up behind it they are literally just up the hill. As Lily rings off, David arrives with his front loader.

Freddie and George meet in the village shop; they pause to discuss the cricket and congratulate each other on their play on Sunday. Freddie has the last packet of chocolate biscuits, and politely offers them to George, saying it is for the whole crash rescue; George equally politely insists that Freddie must keep them and he will buy some sweets instead. Freddie realises George must be fed up with talking about the crash, and remembers how annoying it was after the Grey Gables explosion, when people insisted of making a hero out of him because of Lynda Snell. Freddie has had a long day at work and asks if George fancies a pint at The Bull; George has had a tough day too, and heard from the adjudicator that Bartleby is nowhere near the oldest horse. Freddie nevertheless congratulates him on his social media success, and George boasts he has even started to make some money from it. They agree to go to The Bull, and Freddie insists the first round will be on him; they can share the biscuits when Uncle Kenton's not looking.

With a bit of difficulty David gets ready to the heifer out of the ditch and on her feet; when Lily sees Alistair's car, Ben sends her to tell him where they are [and incidentally to stop her yattering at them when they are doing a job of work. Chris]. David tells Ben to operate the front loader; he's never used one for this before, but David assures him he is better than Josh in that machine, then instructs him to take it slowly and shout when he is in position. David speaks reassuringly to the cow, wondering aloud to her whether Ben will remember to shout, just as Ben does so, which David regards as surprising. The rescue gets going.

Alistair is having difficulty walking across the ford and talking to himself for encouragement, telling himself to keep going and not panic. When Lily appears on the bank and asks if he is OK he is unsure, and she assumes he must have got one of his feet stuck and asks whether he needs her to come down and help. He keeps breathing fast, and tells himself to focus on the heifer, and that it is is just water so no problem at all. Lily is a little concerned and apologises that the lane is blocked; he assures her it's not her fault and no problem at all, and suggests they should go and look at the heifer.

To David's relief, the heifer is fine; Ben and Lily agree that they thought she was a gonner, but Alistair is reassuring. It was a good job Lily spotted her, according to David; he is sorry about her clothes. She sets off to back her car out and go out the other way, saying that it's been... interesting. After she has taken her leave David also sets off, in his case to get the heifer back with the others; as he goes he thanks Alistair, who says that he and Ben did all the work; this prompts David to say 'well done' to Ben. Once David is on his way Ben, who is more perceptive, asks Alistair if he is OK: he's gone white as a sheet and has been since he arrived. Alistair says it's stupid, but he had a minor panic attack in the ford. Ben immediately realises this was from being in the water again after the crash, and Alistair is able to agree. Ben is so sorry: it didn't even occur to him. Nor to him, says Alistair; not until he got to the middle and then his heart started pounding and the sweat was pouring off him. It took him every ounce of his strength not to run back to his car. Ben thinks that must have been awful, and is so sorry, but comfortingly imagines it's pretty normal after something like that. Alistair agrees it probably is; it just took him by surprise, that's all. Ben offers him a coffee at Brookfield, and Alistair reckons he could do with a strong cup of tea, which Ben agrees to provide, after which he'll drive Alistair round through the diversion to fetch his car. Alistair says that would be great, and he would appreciate it.

The lads are playing darts at The Bull (according to Freddie, Lily is 'annoyingly good at darts'; George is rubbish), and the talk works round to being embarrassed by being treated as a hero, and how every time Freddie saw Lynda's scars he wished he could have got her out faster and felt inadequate: she's the brave one. George agrees that is how it is with Fallon and Joy. Freddie suggests that most people would have done the same thing, so you don''t want thanks, or any of it, do you. George says he keeps thinking that if Fallon hadn't got stuck in the car so long she'd still have her baby, but Freddie tells him Elizabeth reckons miscarriages happen a lot, way more than you think. So the crash might have had nothing to do with it. George is determined to reckon it was, and Freddie puts it to him that the person to blame isn't him anyway: it was Alice, and she'll be the one in court facing the magistrate. George wants to know if Freddie reckons she'll get sent down; Freddie doesn't know: maybe. He tells George that being inside is hard enough without having addiction problems, and he can't see Alice surviving that well. She'd be easy pickings. George asks him what prison is like: pretty brutal? Freddie doesn't like talking about it, but paints a grim picture for him about not knowing you're safe anywhere, and being afraid all the time that something might kick off. George is badly shaken and sure he wouldn't be able to take it, and seems concerned for Alice. Freddie says that women's prisons might be different, and you know what they say: do the crime, do the time. And lots of people are saying she deserves everything she gets. George sighs and says he keeps hearing that too.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 21st May, 2024

George wrestles with a boar-pig, Neil wrestles with Harrison's demons.

Characters: Kirsty, Lily, Neil, George, Harrison
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Jeremy Howe
Editor: Jeremy Howe

For no readily discernable reason Lily has turned up to watch Kirsty worry about Jackson, who is still off his food, and limping. When she uses the term 'trotter' about his hoof, Kirsty exclaims against it on the grounds that is a culinary term; Jackson will get paranoid. Lily says she is there because Elizabeth, having said she would do it, conveniently remembered a breakfast meeting. Kirsty is glad she is there, though with Robin Fairbrother being a bad patient, Rex might prefer to be with his pigs. Lily asks how the fix the animal's trot.. er, foot. Leg. Whatever. Kirsty explains it's an easy solution: an anti-inflammatory injection. However, when Lily offers to call Alistair she says it's DIY healthcare. Lily jibs: she's not jabbing anything into him and she is due at Grey Gables at nine and is going to need a shower first, and she is desperate for a very strong coffee. Kirsty tells her not to worry; she won't need her because she is doing the jabbing and her secret weapon is arriving any minute.

As George is leaving the house Neil approaches him because Emma has rung and said she is worried about George, thinking he's a bit down about the cricket. George agrees with Neil that he doesn't want to be vice-captain: it's really awkward with Auntie Tracy. He told her that Harrison just sprung it on him but she's made it obvious she thinks he should have said no. He agrees again when Neil suggests that would probably be easier said than done: Harrison was being all weird on Sunday, roasted Leyton Cross and was downright rude to Pat, and it was embarrassing. Neil thinks that doesn't sound like Harrison, then moves on to another subject: Emma has asked if Neil could be there for George's interview with the Echo, but George tells him that he doesn't need to bother because George has cancelled the interview. And all this cricket stuff on top! He doesn't need it. Neil offers to see what he can do, and George thanks him but has to get cracking or he'll be late.

As Lily and Kirsty chat, it's clear that Mick and Elizabeth are now the organisers of Joy's surprise party and are trying to get hold of Rochelle. Kirsty can't wait to see Joy's face when Rochelle walks in all the way from... wherever it is up north. Lily is puzzled: she's local. Mick got Joy's address book. Kirsty is sure there's a mistake: Rochelle is not local. Lily is equally sure the address is near Borchester, and it's the only address they could find, so, on the off-chance, Elizabeth has sent a lovely card with details of the party asking her to get in touch. Kirsty remains sure that address can't be right, but the argument stops because Lily has just spotted her 'secret weapon'. The women greet George and Lily says they are very glad to see him; he makes sure Kirsty has the medication, and wants to see the pen they are putting Jackson the boar into. They'll need some pig nuts to get him in there, and Kirsty has plenty; Lily is to feel free to head off now, but wants to stay and watch in spite of having to get to work; she thinks that a video would definitely go viral. These words tempt George, but Kirsty is having none of it: no way are her pig-husbandry skills going all over the internet. Lily calls her a spoilsport, she calls Lily a cheeky madam, and George calls them to order by saying they need to go and find Jackson.

When he goes into the church to put up the bell-ringing rota, Neil finds Harrison sitting there thinking. Harrison takes advantage of his presence to talk about the Bank Holiday T20, and Neil says he will be mowing the outfield and rolling the wicket at the weekend and will water it if the weather stays dry [don't worry, Neil: it's England, it's a Bank Holiday, it is going to rain. Chris]. Lynda and Tony will be umpiring and Jim scoring, Kenton's on the PA of course, and Susan's doing the teas. Harrison realises he needn't have worried. He then asks Neil next time he speaks to Emma to say that her son is his new vice-captain; she will be proud and he thinks it will give George, who lacks self-confidence [you what? Gus], a bit of a boost. This gives Neil the opening he needs to ask if they can have a chat about that? In a flat and emotionless voice [as of one finding a dead hedgehog in the fridge and not actually caring very much. Chris] Harrison assures Neil George will be terrific: 'I have every faith in him'. Neil breaks it to him that George is not that keen. Harrison clearly has trouble taking that in, so Neil explains further: George has enough going on for him at the moment with his work at Bridge Farm and Bartleby and his social media, and then there's the accident. Harrison manages to hear that bit and at once says he can't thank George enough for what he did. Neil comments that reading between the lines, he'd say George is overwhelmed at the moment, so it's probably best if Harrison lets Tracy be his deputy, especially as she mustered the troops and saved them cancelling matches. Harrison, faint but pursuing, says he honestly didn't realise that George was feeling like that, and Neil excuses him: George is not one to come out and say that kind of thing. This morning he was pretty down about it all. Harrison says he will sort it and Neil is not to worry; Neil thanks him, then asks whether he minds if Neil says something else? Harrison tells him to fire away, so Neil continues: from what he hears, Pat Archer was very put out by how Harrison spoke to her on Sunday. Harrison mutters, and Neil says that makes him think – tell him to mind his own business, but is Harrison all right?

Jackson puts up pigfully with being manhandled by George and shrieked at and very slowly and reluctantly injected by Kirsty; nobody is mauled. Unlike Kirsty putting off giving him the injection, the pig makes no delay at all about his escape, leaving Kirsty and George breathing heavily: George because he has been holding down a couple of hundred pounds of reluctant boar and Kirsty because shrieking and breathing hard [and probably tossing their hair about. Chris] is what girlies do in crises. George, pleased with himself, tells Kirsty he's a natural with pigs and will help if she asks him to: he can fit it in with Bridge Farm if he comes early. Rex has said she is not to do that because he can't pay George, but George says that's fine because he enjoys it, plus he needs to keep his hand in. Kirsty thanks him and tells him he was already a hero, and now he's saving Rex and her, and is a total star. George retreats in embarrassment.

Harrison is expressing his outrage about Alice not being able to remember any of it, and having destroyed so much in such a casual way; she has zero memory of doing something that changed their lives. Neil gently expresses his sorrow about the miscarriage; Harrison says he knows it was early days, but we were pregnant when Fallon got in Mick's car, and thanks to Alice's driving... Neil murmurs more condolences. Harrison admits he and Fallon weren't planning on having kids, but it happened, and then... He wasn't expecting to feel so devastated. Neil, quietly, can understand that. All Alice has ever done, according to Harrison, is make trouble for him and Fallon, time and time again. He asks Neil, why does she keep doing it? She's supposed to be a mate! Neil draws breath and points out that he's afraid it hasn't been easy for anyone, and Harrison suddenly remembers that he and Fallon are not the only people who've been troubled by the results of Alice drinking. Neil introduces a touch of his own indignation into his voice as he speaks of Alice putting Chris and Martha through the wringer, and him and Susan being powerless to stop any of it; Harrison says they have been amazing grandparents, and Chris couldn't have coped without them, but Neil feels that he shouldn't have been put in that position, should he, and Harrison has to agree. Harrison asks in bewilderment how one person can cause so much pain, and Neil regrets that Alice has hurt a lot of people over the years, not least her family and friends, but most of all, he says persuasively, herself. He's sorry that Fallon and Harrison got hurt, but he doesn't believe for one minute that Alice did any of it deliberately. Bitterly, Harrison responds that she never does, but Neil sees it as more like self-sabotage, and from what he's heard about alcoholics a relapse is sadly all too common. Harrison is clearly not really taking this in; what he says next is that he doesn't want to see, or hear from, her again. Neil takes a deep breath: no, well, it took a long time for them to understand Alice, the hurt and worry she caused Christopher; Harrison asks how you cope, how do you forgive someone for doing something like that to you and to your child. His faith has helped him, says Neil simply; everything that's happened with Alice, forgiving her has been the hardest thing, but it brought the most incredible relief. Harrison protests that he knows what Neil is saying, he does, but it's all too much at the moment, Neil knows. Of course he does, and Harrison's got to find his own way through it, and after something like this nobody would blame him if he never forgave her, but if it's doing him more harm than good... Anyway, he'll always have his faith to support him, and if he needs Neil, Neil's always there. Harrison utters a heart-felt 'thanks, Neil.'

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 22nd May, 2024

Joy is given a treat, and Harrison makes matters even worse for himself.

Characters: Lily, Fallon, Joy, Harrison, Inspector Norris, Ben
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Jeremy Howe
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Having put in the food order for the barn dance with Fallon at the tea-room, Lily is now badgering Fallon about it as she is locking up ready to take the food to Brookfield later, and requiring all the details that have already been decided to be recapitulated. Fallon remains remarkably patient throughout this inquisition, though she does point out gently that she has done the catering for Brookfield events before. Roy has put Lily in charge of this event, however, so she is going to go on and on and on at Fallon regardless of the risk that she may be teaching her grandmother to suck eggs. The arrival of Joy clearly comes as a relief to Fallon, and when Lily then manages to say something she regards as having been crass about the closure of Heydon Bridge and the diversion, forgetting that both her her auditors were somewhat more involved in the accident than she was, her departure wreathed in confusion is evidently welcome. Fallon and Joy are then at liberty to have a conversation about the real effects on them, starting from the fact that Joy was really looking forward to the barn dance and had got one of the few tickets for locals as opposed to Grey Gables guests, but sees no point in going when she won't be able to dance with her broken collarbone; it's such a laugh at a barn dance. Fallon opines that they could all do with a laugh. She then mentions rather sadly that every time she forgets about the crash, even briefly, someone, or something, reminds her, and she's right back in that car with the water coming up around her neck. She was so scared.... Joy is sorry she invited her to come with her that evening, but Fallon won't allow that: she wanted to go and she really enjoyed herself. Joy capitulates, then asks if Fallon fancies a quick cuppa back at hers: Helen brought round a cheese-board earlier so they could enjoy a bit of a tasting; Fallon is all in favour, especially if it has Borsetshire Blue on it.

Back at work at last, Harrison is hoping to get some information about the Ambridge crash out of his boss, Inspector Norris; she tells him she can't talk about specifics, which he knows, but he wondered if Alice's blood tests are back. That is exactly the sort of thing she can't talk about, except to tell him that blood tests can take four weeks, as he suggests, but very often more, as he knows. He tells her that Alice went to London last week and it was a big weight off his mind; she becomes thoughtful and suggests a quick chat in her office.

'Beautifully creamy' Sterling Gold is Fallon's favourite of the cheeses Joy has on offer. Fallon muses that they are so lucky to have made it, and Joy agrees: if George hadn't been passing, or if Alistair and Denise hadn't driven past... Fallon feels they should just be thankful. Joy asks how she is feeling, and Fallon takes her time considering the answer to that: she had to go and stay at The Bull last week because she just needed to be somewhere quiet, somewhere easy. And how is Harrison dealing with it all, Joy asks pertinently. Fallon tells her that's the problem; she doesn't really know. He claims everything's fine but it's clearly not: he seems perfectly normal and then suddenly says or does something that seems out of character, which makes her feel she is treading on eggshells. Joy points out that he nearly lost her and that's a shock for anyone, but for him and Fallon who are so close... Fallon adds that he's obsessed with the miscarriage, but they can't talk about it, they daren't because they're on such different pages. Joy advises she should give it time; she is sure it will ease. Then the doorbell rings, and Fallon answers the door to Ben, who is there to tell Joy that Lily was looking through the bookings for the barn dance, saw her name, and is insisting that she must come. Joy reminds him that she can't drive and she can't dance, but he tells her that actually, she shall go to the ball, assuming she feels up to it: he will drive her, and Lily has found a special job for her to make sure she is included. Ben assures her it would be no trouble, and asks what about Fallon? She will be there to deliver the buffet, she says, so she supposes she could stay on. Thanks very much, Ben, says Joy: we'd be honoured.

Inspector Norris is correcting Harrison about some of his assumptions: they don't know what the charge is, because that is for the crown prosecution service to decide. He wants to be assured it will be taken seriously, the causing death element, which means a pretty hefty sentence; she agrees that it would have been if his wife or the other two had been killed, but as it stands there wasn't a death. He can't believe his ears: they lost their baby! That's a death! She reminds him of his training: because the child in the womb has not drawn independent breath that doesn't count, it isn't seen as – she's really sorry, but it isn't classed as a death. After a fraught pause, he repeats 'It doesn't count?' Inspector Norris is sorry, but he cuts across her: his wife loses their baby and it doesn't count? In the eyes of the law, she corrects him, and he explodes: but that's ridiculous, he shouts at her. She realises this must be upsetting to hear on his first day back; he interrupts again to say angrily, so Alice gets off scot free. Not at all, responds his boss. He can do an impact statement, tell the court exactly how he feels. He feels... he feels ignored, discounted, dismissed; he feels devastated. Harrison, she says gently, but he's now well into his stride and doesn't let her speak. All of that and worse! he exclaims. He's spent his life in this force helping people get justice but when something happen to him he can't... She finally loses patience. 'Sergeant Burns, listen to me,' she says icily. She's sorry, but she is sending him home. He seems not to understand, and protests that he is half-way through his shift, but she tells him she will get someone to cover him; he continues to protest, but she is no longer listening. Tomorrow she would like him to call the police counsellor, whose number is on this leaflet, and look through the other support available. He deflates. He is also to think about asking his GP to sign him off for a few days till he's feeling more himself . When he asks if he has a choice, she says no. It's for his own good. She will check in with him tomorrow. He clears his throat, agrees, and thanks her.

The barn dance is in full swing, and the special place found for Joy is revealed: she is very stiltedly calling a dance until she gives up abruptly and tells them just to carry on.

On her return from the dance Fallon finds Harrison still awake, and totally unreceptive of her happy account of her evening until she says she has laughed so much her tummy still hurts; he pounces on the word 'hurts' and asks sharply whether she is OK. She tells him it's just from laughing, and explains she's had a drink so she's left her car at Brookfield and Ben drove her home; she would have texted Harrison, but he was working. Dully, he tells her he was sent home. She can't credit it. He doesn't think he messed up [Actually he did, big time, but he's too thick to realise it. Chris] she's not to worry, Norris said it was best. Alarmed, Fallon wants to know if he's all right; he doesn't know, he says brokenly. What happened was that he found out that their baby dying, it doesn't matter at all. In the eyes of the law, it doesn't count. Fallon has no idea what he is talking about, and says so. It isn't seen as an actual person, he explains, therefore no actual death has occurred. He was that shocked, he couldn't actually breathe for a moment. So all they can do, the only thing they can do, apparently, is write an impact statement. OK, Fallon says gently; for sentencing Alice? She is surprised he wants to write one. He is surprised in turn: doesn't she? After a pause she says she doesn't know. Then she tries to get away by saying she needs a shower, otherwise she'll be stinking him out all night. He tells her they need to talk about this; he needs to talk about this! She's sorry, but if an impact statement is going to make things worse for Alice then she won't be doing one. There is yet another fraught pause before he says 'right' as if he can't believe his ears. It's up to her, isn't it she asks. Of course, he concedes. She just doesn't think anything good will come of that, especially for Martha. Now she really needs a shower. He starts to raise his voice: oh, come on, it's not that simple and she knows it! They lose their child, but there's no consequences for anyone! Really? Angrily, she asks whether she said that? no, she didn't. He can just do what he thinks is right, she calls crossly over her shoulder as she goes, and he shouts back 'OK'. OK, he will! Yeah, great, and so will she! He shrieks 'Fine! Fine!' after her, then deflates and starts to sob.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 23rd May, 2024

Vince is surprisingly reasonable, while Tom and Harrison enjoy a pity-party.

Characters: Elizabeth, Freddie, Mick, Tom, Harrison, Vince
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Jeremy Howe
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Freddie and Elizabeth are outside the Filipino restaurant in Borchester where they are meeting Vince, arranging that since Freddie is buying her supper, Elizabeth will support him with Vince, whom he is trying to persuade to put some Filipino cuisine on the works canteen menu. As they are about to go in Elizabeth notices Mick coming out of Underwoods and shouts to get his attention; he comes over saying he has just been getting Joy some jigsaws for her birthday and plans to go to Rochelle's on his way home, since he has had no word back from her about Joy's birthday party. He may as well knock on her door, there will be nothing lost. Elizabeth fears that it must be an old address, but Mick says it's the only one in Joy's book and she is always sending cards and little presents to her grandchildren. This has to be explained to Freddie, who then asks how Mick is: fully recovered? Mick makes it clear that he is; Freddie can't believe no-one got killed. Elizabeth says sententiously that this birthday tea will show Joy they are all there for her; Mick departs saying he'll let Elizabeth know how he gets on, and mother and son go on in.

The veg boxes need to be checked for anything missing from them and Tom is doing that, quietly giving a running commentary as he does so. When Harrison bursts in speaking at an ordinary volume, Tom shushes him: he has been talking his daughters to sleep. Harrison is broody about the twins, and Tom is very sympathetic and then suggests getting down to talking tactics for the T20. They speak of Tracy getting her all-woman team together and who they want on theirs: Harrison has down himself, Tom, Alistair and Freddie; he has asked George and got no reply. George wasn't keen on being vice captain, apparently; Tom offers to ask him again. Tom also suggests Paul and the Gleesons, and then says they could go to the cottage and chat over a beer and talk strategy. Harrison readily agrees.

The meal out is being a success; Elizabeth notices Christine's favourite carer from The Laurels, and one of the nurses, eating at another table, and then Freddie starts to pontificate about the catering and the way it is done, with Elizabeth hanging on his every word expressing surprise and pleasure. Vince is not taken in for a moment: he knows he is being led by the nose and tells them that he smells a gigantic rat. Elizabeth laughingly protests, Vince asks suspiciously if it's about the abattoir canteen again, and Freddie says archly that it might be. Vince reminds him that he did get in a job lot of Tabasco sauce, which Freddie grudgingly admits was a start and Elizabeth categorises as a very small one. Vince is deliberately obtuse about what Freddie is after, saying he won't get in a weekly takeaway from the restaurant if that's what Freddie is suggesting, to which Elizabeth naturally says that a weekly takeaway is a fabulous idea. Freddie corrects them both: that's not what he's suggesting. The chef at this restaurant is willing to do some training for them so that they can offer a Filipino option. Vince protests about the price, and Elizabeth, getting into the swing of things, says it will probably be cheaper than takeaways; Freddie calls her to order, and Vince asks who the chef is going to train: Burger Bill from the canteen? Yes, actually, says Freddie, taking the wind out of Vince's sails; Vince urges him to tell Vince before he asks Bill, because Vince doesn't want to miss that, but Freddie has an answer again: he already has, and Bill is more than willing – in fact genuinely excited. Vince finds the idea laughable, but Elizabeth puts in the suggestion that if Bill is bored, Vince doesn't want him leaving. He recovers enough from the double-act assailing him to remind Freddie that not all their staff are from the Philippines, but Freddie has the answer to that ready: they start with a Filipino option and build from there. It will be great for morale. Elizabeth comes in strongly about the importance of morale, and Vince has had enough: they'll have to excuse him, he needs a break from their badly-rehearsed little script. Just after he flees, their 'mains' arrive and Elizabeth decides they should just enjoy their food.

It almost seems that Tom does want to talk tactics, but Harrison wants to talk children, so Tom falls in with him and recounts his own terrible experience and how numb he felt after Kirsty's miscarriage, and helpless, and pointless. Harrison realises it is different for them because Fallon's pregnancy was so early, but Tom claims they still lost someone, with which Harrison agrees. Tom then one-ups Harrison, as he thinks, because he and Kirsty were not together and therefore couldn't even share their feelings, and Kirsty came to terms with it when Tom hadn't and then he felt left behind. Our beautiful little boy was gone, he says with feeling and sentiment, never to be. Harrison says he is sorry to have upset him, but Tom at once says that he likes remembering. [Remembering what? He literally has nothing at all of this foetus to remember. He never knew him. Chris.] He takes the girls to the Remembrance Garden sometimes to say Hi to their big brother [these kids of his are going to grow up warped if he doesn't stop being emotionally incontinent at them. Chris]. [They will anyway. HTH. Gus.] There's a little brook nearby which flows to the Am, and Kirsty scattered his ashes there, and just seeing the river sometimes reminds Tom of 'our little Wren'. [Or rather, reminds Tom of his feelings when Kirsty had a miscarriage, which is not quite the same thing. Chris.] This makes Harrison wish they had had something to bury or commemorate; it just feels like he ... or she... never existed.

Every mouthful is slightly different, remarks Elizabeth wonderingly; Freddie wonders if they should have waited for Vince. Elizabeth responds that he is probably on a phone call: he's always on his phone when they're out; it's very annoying. Her phone instantly starts to ring; it's Mick, reporting complete lack of success at the address they had for Rochelle: the man who answered the door had never heard of her and was rather rude. As Elizabeth rings off Vince comes back saying she is always on the phone when they go out, which she denies. He has just been asking who supplies the restaurant's meat; seeing that he was passing, he had a chat with the manager and promised to quote him a better price if he'll sort out that training Freddie mentioned. Freddie is incredulous, then delighted; Vince says that basically, he can't afford to lose Burger Bill so anything's worth a try. But this is the only thing he's bending on, OK? He is merely dipping his toe in Freddie's gastronomic vision. Freddie immediately wants to come back to his idea of installing a gym in the first floor; Elizabeth backs him up and Vince tells them to stop it, the pair of them, or they'll give him indigestion.

Harrison is now sharing with Tom the fact that he and Fallon don't seem to be sharing the pain either. Fallon has never wanted kids so he doesn't know what he expected, and now it's happened he's not sure it changes anything, not in Fallon's mind. Tom consoles him with the idea that at least he knows it's possible 'fertility-wise'; Harrison doesn't really see how that helps. Tom agrees it's hard, and adds that he's not sure he even accepted it until after they had the girls; sorry, that probably doesn't help either. Fallon, he adds, is probably still processing it, everything that's happened. Harrison groans agreement, and Tom asks whether there isn't a chance she might feel differently once she's recovered? Because actually, there's nothing to stop them, he doesn't mean trying again exactly because they weren't, but... Harrison feels that if Fallon and he, if they could just talk about it – to be honest, he always saw himself having a houseful of kids, playing silly games in the garden, giving them a cuddle when they trip over [staying up all night changing the sick-soaked sheets over and over again, keeping his temper when one of them has been crying for eight hours straight and he's had to deal with it on his own... Chris], and he'd put all that to bed, because he knew that's not what Fallon wanted, and he was all right with that... Tom asks, was he? Well, he thought he was. He doesn't know any more. He doesn't feel he knows anything at the moment. Tom says sagaciously that he really should speak to Fallon about this. They have to be honest with each other, and if those feelings haven't gone away yet then he should probably tell her that. Yeah, agrees Harrison on a sigh.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 24th May, 2024

In which we have it confirmed that ignoring people's boundaries may be a bad idea.

Characters: Kirsty, Elizabeth, Joy, Mick, Fallon, Harrison
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Jeremy Howe
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The job of checking on the pigs has now been handed over to George, but Kirsty doesn't want Elizabeth to tell Rex. The two women are making sandwiches for Joy's surprise birthday party, which is being hosted by Helen; Helen has provided smoked salmon and a cake with icing like a piece of artwork and 'Feliz cumpleaños' on it in honour of Joy learning Spanish. Kirsty searches her memory and produces 'Alles Gute zum Geburtstag', explaining the Germans fit that on a cake with German engineering. Tracy has been in touch with Elizabeth about the T20 on Sunday; Kirsty and Pat have said yes, and Lily has been asked to play. Then it's panic stations, because Mick messages to say Joy is on her way over; Kirsty goes to answer the door while Elizabeth gets everyone in from the garden and silence falls. After a short delay on the doorstep Joy is invited in. Everyone shouts 'surprise!' and then 'happy birthday Joy' and there are cheers and applause. Joy is pleased but taken aback and says they are naughty to have gone to all this trouble, and Mick says that she deserves it; she thinks it is absolutely lovely and she couldn't have better friends.

When Fallon comes in she finds that Harrison has not got ready to go to Joy's party with her; he has been sitting in the garden all afternoon listening to a cuckoo and didn't see her text about it. He wants her to come and hear the bird; she wants to get on to the party but he says she should go without him since he isn't sure he could face it anyway. When she asks why not he tells her he is happy sorting things out at home, but when asked 'what things?' he doesn't know: should he run the dishwasher? Exasperated, she says no, because it's not full, and declines to argue with him on the subject when he tries to object to washing up a single mug when they have a dishwasher; she thinks he should come to the party. It would be good for him to see a few people, and he could discuss T20 strategy with Tom. He says he did that yesterday, but apparently he never told her and she doesn't remember him having been there a while. In a voice trembling with emotion he tells her they do need to talk; she knows, but does it have to be now? Well, sorry, but he thinks it does.

Happy birthday is sung, Joy blows out her candles and makes a wish, counting her blessings. Kirsty tells her it was Mick's idea, and she thanks him; he then announces that he has got the job doing security at Grey Gables, and this means he can spend a lot more time with 'this wonderful woman here'. Joy sounds less than delighted: her response is that he never told her he'd applied for a job at Grey Gables. Kirsty then says they were hoping to get Rochelle and her grandchildren to come too. Joy now sounds definitely ruffled as she says 'Sorry?', and Elizabeth tells her they tried inviting them and calls on Mick to back her up: he says they gave it their best try and Elizabeth adds the address they had must be out of date. Joy asks sharply what address, and when Kirsty tells her the one near Borchester informs her that must be an old one. Where did they get that? Mick smuggled Joy's address book out, Kirsty tells her. Clearly not pleased about this, Joy says 'I see' rather forbiddingly, and then that she will just nip inside to the kitchen and get a cuppa. Mick at once says he'll do it, but she just says he won't and goes indoors.

Fallon tells Harrison that she is trying to be supportive, but she has to get herself through this thing; she nearly drowned, and she can still feel the water coming over her mouth. He says that must have been terrifying, and she adds that it's still giving her nightmares. 'And me,' he tells her, not to be outdone; she half-laughs that they're both a bit traumatised. But she feels that the one thing keeping her sane is her routine, going to work and serving customers and seeing her friends. Harrison doesn't know how she can concentrate on any of it, let alone going out enjoying herself. Because it helps her, she explains; and she is sure getting back to normal would help him to. No, love, he utters brokenly: she keeps saying that but how can anything be normal? He knows he... or she... was only a few weeks old, but ... Fallon breaks in. He or she? she asks incredulously: Harrison, it was a few cells, and they only found out by chance. Harrison protests that they have to be honest about this, OK? She tells him she is trying to be, but she's sorry, he's building this up into something it's not. Harrison doesn't know where they go from here, and she tells him soothingly that they don't have to go anywhere, because things are back to where they were: nothing's changed. He disagrees: everything's changed. Talking to Tom yesterday, what he said about losing Wren, that's exactly how he felt too. This is clearly a bit much for Fallon: annoyed, she tells him to come on, there's no comparison! He exclaims there is, there is: Tom was struggling to grieve and he said having the twins now, that's helped him accept what happened with Wren. he even takes them to the Remembrance Garden to see him. In horror, Fallon tries to make him see that was a completely different situation: they did lose their child, and (over-riding whatever he tries to interject) she's sorry, and she knows he doesn't mean to, but he needs to be careful that he's not hijacking their grief. He is gobsmacked: what? Is she serious? She's sorry, it's what she thinks. He denies doing that at all; he's really not. It feels like she's not listening to him. All he wants to do is talk, really talk, you know?

Since Joy is now not wanting to talk to him, Mick wants to be told what he's done wrong. Was it him springing the job on her like that? It's nothing to her where he works. All right then, is it something to do with Rochelle? He can tell she's cross with him but he doesn't understand why. She tells him straight that she doesn't appreciate him stealing her address book and knocking on people's doors. He says he borrowed it, but Joy doesn't care for his excuses: he had no right to do that. He asks what he was supposed to do, since he's never met Rochelle though he was expecting to bump into her at the hospital, and he doesn't understand why she's not here now. Joy is always saying how much she means to her and vice versa, she's supposed to care about Joy. Joy loses her temper: how dare he say that! He apologises but claims he is worried about Joy, and she crossly tells him not to be, OK? Elizabeth comes looking for a slice of cake, and then fears lest she has interrupted something; Mick, as if restraining his temper with difficulty, explains that Joy's annoyed that he knocked on Rochelle's door. Well, whoever's door. Elizabeth at once asks Joy not to blame him but to blame her: she sent a party invitation to that address, and then when they got no reply Mick offered to pop round. That's all it was, honestly. There is a silence before Mick says he can see he's making things worse here, and Elizabeth says again that it's her fault, really. Mick tells Joy to give him a call when she wants to talk, and opens the door; Elizabeth begs Joy to tell him not to go, there is another silence, and Mick, saying 'fine', shuts the door emphatically behind him. Elizabeth tells Joy she's so sorry, and Joy asks her please not to fuss: it was something and nothing. Elizabeth didn't mean for them to fall out; Joy explains that her Rochelle has been a fabulous daughter to her [was that word carefully chosen? Chris] so she doesn't need a lecture from Mick about her; Elizabeth is sure he didn't mean to, but Joy has had enough of the subject. Flipping back again to 'normal Joy', she suggests they get that slice of cake.

Harrison can't believe all this isn't affecting Fallon; she informs him that it is, 'just not in the same way as you'. [And that could mean that he is affecting her just as easily as that circumstances are; just sayin'. Chris.] But he can't think of anything else, he offers tragically. If Alice hadn't been drunk that night, if Fallon hadn't gone to the concert with Joy, endless what ifs, and he knows Fallon doesn't like him saying it but if he's honest, he really hopes Alice goes to prison for what she's done. Fallon, who seems to be starting to find him a bit much, says that she understands that he's angry she is too; but hasn't Martha been through enough? Harrison cries out that she's got Chris, but Fallon is certain that she needs Alice as well. Harrison says accusingly that he's sorry, but why is Fallon so worried about someone else's child and yet she doesn't seem to give a toss about theirs? Fallon tells him that is so unfair; she tells him not to dare try and make her feel guilty, does he hear her? He knows she doesn't want kids! Point blank he tells her that she knows he does. She reminds him that he chose to stay with her and said he'd accepted it; he tells her that he thought he had, he really thought he could live with it. But now he can't? she asks. That was before we got pregnant, he mutters; as she draws in breath sharply he goes on that it was a baby, Fallon, their baby and she's had enough. Look, the miscarriage was a huge shock, of course it was, and incredibly painful physically, but it happened, so they can't change it. Brokenly he says that he feels like he needs to grieve, and when she says that he can, no-one's stopping him, but she does not feel that way he does. He won't let that stand: but the fact is it still happened! That's the point! Fallon is bewildered and tells him he has lost her; he tells her that 'we' were pregnant and that means something. She corrects him: she was pregnant. For a few weeks. Without realising. And she's really sorry, but it didn't mean anything. He can't believe his ears and decides to accuse her of being relieved. That makes her ask if he can hear himself? Of course she's not; it's clearly breaking his heart, and she'd never want that. But Fallon, he pleads, if it had never happened, if our... if it had survived, they'd have got on with it all, wouldn't they? As she says 'Sorry?' he continues: they'd have had to make the best of it and she would have got used to the idea, wouldn't she? What else could they have done? Fallon doesn't know where he got that idea from. Who said she'd have even kept it? He doesn't know what she means, then realises: she'd have had an abortion? She doesn't know. She'd have terminated our baby? She bellows that she doesn't want children. He starts to groan and moan his disbelief. She's sorry, but he wanted them to be honest, didn't he? He starts sobbing, says that he can't take this, and then rushes away; into the silence he leaves behind him Fallon says that she doesn't think she can either, and draws a long, miserable breath. [Which is more then their bluddy baby ever did. Gus.]

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 26th May, 2024

And with one bound (and a dead hedgehog) all is forgiven.

Characters: Harrison, Fallon, Chelsea, Pat, George
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

When Harrison gets back from church Fallon is strimming the lawn; he apologises for leaving his bedding on the sofa and thanks her for clearing it away She asks if he's had breakfast; he had a slice of toast before church. Fallon doesn't feel like eating but she'll get herself something at the tea-room, where she is working today and tomorrow. Harrison is going to be at the cricket, where he won't have to worry about what to say to Chris because Chris won't be playing; it's not that they have fallen out, they've just avoided meeting up, and Chris must know how Harrison feels about Alice. Fallon doesn't want to have coffee with Harrison; she wants to finish cutting the last corner of grass and then she'll get off to work, where Chelsea has opened up before getting off to the cricket. Fallon re-starts the strimmer, and Harrison has to shout to be heard over it; she turns it off. A poem has turned up in his feed, Larkin's 'The Mower', which he tries to explain to her; she suggests that rather than read it to her right now he could send it to her and she'll read it later. She wishes him good luck with the cricket and starts up the strimmer again.

At the tea-room, Chelsea brings Pat her cheese scone and a pear-and-raspberry juice, and asks if Pat can still give her a lift to the cricket ground once Fallon gets in; Pat is happy to, and has told George, who is watering the tomatoes, that she will take him too. She asks whether Chelsea is ready for the T20, and is told 'not really': Chelsea is so rubbish! Pat firmly tells her she is not, and gives her some coaching and encouragement verbally. George Grundy comes in and starts to make fun, but is told not to sledge or Pat won't have him in the car. The coaching then becomes physical, with Pat throwing her scone for Chelsea to catch – which she does, and is very pleased with herself. George calls it a fluke, and Fallon, coming in at that moment, wants to know what is going on: Chelsea tells her that Pat sacrificed her cheese scone to the greater cause. Fallon says unseriously that she hopes Tom hasn't seen one of his staff spending work time training for the rival team, but Pat says it's fine: Tom headed for the pavilion hours ago. Fallon hopes he will transfer some of his enthusiasm to Harrison, who is not really feeling it today. He's still a bit embarrassed by his behaviour last week. Pat exonerates him slightly by saying she thinks they all understood he wasn't quite himself, and Fallon, after agreeing he wasn't, asks if George is playing. He is, and in turn asks if she will be coming; she says it depends on how late it goes on because she'll need to be at the tea-room until closing. She wishes the ladies luck, and Pat says she won't tell Harrison that Fallon said that; Fallon realises that was not very supportive of her, but Chelsea pipes up that it is always sisters before misters.

At the ground, Tracy takes Harrison to task for having been less than sportsmanlike last week against Leyton Cross. He tries to claim that he wasn't that bad, and turn her comments about his sledging back against her as having done that herself [DARVO, I call it. Chris], but Tracy ignores this and adds that he laid into their very own Pat Archer. He has to admit that wasn't his finest hour and Neil said she was a bit put out; Tracy tells him that Pat was hurt, by what he said but more by how he said it. Harrison will have a word with her and make it right – and he'll email Leyton Cross as well. As she starts hammering in the stumps again he says there is something else he needs to make right, but when he wants to talk about the vice-captaincy she says she should go and work on her batting order, and he falls back on his customary bleat of 'can we talk?' She tells him he is in charge and he can do whatever he wants, and if he wants George to be vice captain; he does his best to placate her with flattery but she's not about to let him off easy and says 'no' when he asks if she would be vice captain if the rôle were offered to her. Even when he tells her George doesn't want to do it, the best she will offer is 'I'll have to think about it'. They part with a little good-natured banter about the game in prospect.

George congratulates Chelsea on getting four runs, a massive improvement on her last effort. She assumes he is being snarky, but no: he was serious, and Pat remarks that Chelsea held her own against Tom's bowling. Pat asks George how watering the tomatoes went, and Chelsea whether he made a 'hilarious' video about it; he tells her gloomily that he had all these jokes about tomatoes but it didn't really work out. Chelsea wants him to hurry up and get his mojo back so they can be the next Kardashian Jenner family, but he has nothing for today unless he could film her doing some mad fall while fielding; she tells him he is not doing that, then asks for a look at his tomato footage in case it's not that bad, but it really is. Chelsea reckons it sounds like he's at a tomato funeral and wants to know what is wrong with him. The Tigers are then called to order by Tracy; Tom and Harrison are coming out to bat and they need to take their fielding positions.

Later, Freddie is last man in, and six runs are needed. Tracy has got two wickets in two balls, and proceeds to take a third with the third; Harrison explains to George that that's a hat-trick and their team has lost. When Tracy comes over for a quick gloat Harrison congratulates her, and tells Chelsea that was some pretty nifty fielding: she did a right job on him. Chelsea is understandably pleased with herself. He's heard that Pat was coaching her; have they seen Pat? He needs a word. She comes into view and he goes over. Chelsea tells George that if he needs something for his blog she got a video of him batting, and Tilly Button thinks it was good.

Pat is unfriendly when Harrison comes up to her, but after some selective grovelling she tells him that she accepts his apology and tells him there are no hard feelings. He thanks her, then launches into praise of Tracy's Tigers just as Fallon comes up to them, to Harrison's surprise; she's been watching for the last few minutes. She has brought the left-over cakes to give to the teams, but doesn't want to join them for a drink at The Bull. Pat encourages her to come and see them lift the cup, at the very least, and provide some support for her poor defeated husband; Fallon agrees to maybe just the one drink.

Tracy is in full triumph about the Mark Hebden Trophy [with no mention of the fact that what it says on it is 'single wicket', the T20 not having been invented in 1995 when Shula donated that cup. Chris], and also announces that she will be the vice captain. she then calls for a team photo.

In a pause during the jollity Fallon tells Harrison that she read 'the hedgehog poem' and can see why he wanted her to read it. The end is beautiful, it's almost hopeful. Harrison asks whether she means when he says 'we should be careful of each other' and Fallon adds 'we should be kind while there is still time'. [So is anyone going to say that the person who frodding well needs to be a bit careful of others needs to be Harrison? Chris.]

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 27th May, 2024

Lots of if onlys and a dash or two of what if, as well as prompt action on discrepancy.

Characters: Oliver, Lilian, Vince, Jolene, Freddie, Jason
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Oliver returns to The Stables after an early morning ride, and encounters Lilian, who is rushed off her feet. Joanne is brilliant, but there is always so much to do, she explains, and Lilian is not getting any younger. Oliver comments that it must be tricky at The Stables without Alice and asks how she is. It seems, from what Ruairi has said to Brian, that things aren't getting any worse, which is something. Oliver commiserates, and Lilian is not sure everyone in Ambridge is as sympathetic as he is – which of course she understands. She is suffering the guilt of not having done enough to prevent what has happened, which Oliver makes clear he thinks is nonsense: she had no control over what Alice chose to do. Lilian still beats herself up over having encouraged Alice to go out with Harry, which leads Oliver to think it sounds as if she needs a breather. Lilian plans to spend the afternoon unwinding in The Bull and having a catch-up with Jolene, whom she hasn't seen since the accident. Heaven alone knows what they'll all say. Oliver wonders if she thinks it might be awkward, and Lilian explains that she doesn't think that unconditional support for Alice will be all that popular amongst Fallon's family, and Oliver sees what she means.

At The Bull, Vince and and Jolene are chatting, first about the cricket and then about Fallon. When Jolene asks if she can get him another coffee he refuses: he'll have a Shires this time, and a white wine for Elizabeth, who is joining him for lunch. Jolene invites him to try a new beer they have in: a bread ale. He isn't enthusiastic, but she gets him a taster anyway whilst he speaks of the sourdough and salt chocolate Elizabeth got for him, surprisingly tasty. He thinks the bread ale is 'not bad' and makes Jolene laugh by asking for a shot of butter as a chaser; he is glad to see her laughing and a bit more like her old self. She is getting there, she tells him, though what with Fallon's accident and, well, Vince knows... Vince is sure the police will nail Markie soon. Jolene just wishes they would get on with it, and Vince reckons that Markie's a smart guy [evidence? So far on air, he's behaved like a nitwit. Chris] but even the greatest criminals slip up, like Al Capone. Jolene tries to blame herself for not going to the police earlier; Vince doesn't see the point of maybes, and is explaining this when his phone rings and he feels he ought to answer.

On the phone, Freddie tells Vince he's just had a call from a customer missing meat from his order. It's the care home near the bypass roundabout, and it's the second time their order has been wrong in the past fortnight. Vince took a couple of complaints yesterday, too, and wonders where the system has gone wrong. Freddie suggests getting Annie from IT to take a look, but she won't be in until tomorrow and Vince needs to nip this in the bud. Rather than just offer a refund he wants Freddie to go out with a delivery driver and take them what was missing, and stick in a couple of fillet steaks for the manager, turning on the charm as the smiling face of Casey Meats. After he rings off Jolene mentions to Vince that she couldn't help hearing, and thinks he ought to be told that Wayne was missing some steak from the delivery last week; when he rang in he got a refund immediately and it wasn't a big deal. Vince thinks something like that is always a big deal, and he'll bring round her next steak delivery himself, free of charge.

Freddie has arranged his excursion promptly and gone out with Jason, hoping this won't put Jason behind with his deliveries. Jason is both amenable and amiable, and tells Freddie a great deal about himself: he has fifteen-year-old twins, Lia and Tiana, who have pestered him into allowing them to book a ski-ing trip with the school next February so he is doing all the overtime he can, to scrape together the money for the huge deposit due on June fifteenth. In return he discovers that Freddie has a twin sister with whom he gets on well – sometimes. Mostly. Not always. Just like Jason's pair! He just wishes he and his missus could take time off to be with them. Jason was wondering if Freddie could maybe see if he could swing him a bit more overtime; Freddie will see what he can do.

It's busy at The Bull, but when Lilian comes in for a G&T and to order some lunch she asks Jolene if they can have a quick chat. Jolene is very forgiving about Lilian being there for Alice: family is family and it's not like she's denying Alice did anything wrong. Not at all, agrees Lilian. She will always feel protective of Alice, but she is horrified by the whole thing and about what Alice has put Jolene and Fallon through. Jolene thanks her for saying that, and also for the cards she sent to Jolene and to Fallon. Pals? asks Lilian anxiously; of course, replies Jolene. But when she asks if Lilian is ready for that large G&T now Lilian says it will have to wait; she is coming round to serve until the backlog is clear. Jolene calls her an angel: the new barman is trying his best, but isn't the fastest of learners. Jolene goes to serve in the other bar, and Oliver comes in and greets Lilian, who asks if she can get him a pint of Shires while he decides what to eat. He is slightly surprised she is working instead of dining and chatting, but Lilian just claims to be a glutton for punishment.

Freddie has sought out Jason at the works canteen, where Filipino food is the dish of the day; Jason gets out of him that he lives with his mum, then talks about the nicknames mates give you and about getting used to working at Casey's; Freddie likes Casey's better than his last job at Lower Loxley. Jason went there once on a school trip, it seems, and was bored. Has Freddie ever met the owners? Freddie manages not to say 'that would be me,' and instead assures him the family there are neither stuck-up nor particularly wealthy: the upkeep on a place like that is horrendous. Jason laughs that when he is a millionaire he'll buy it, and not moan about the upkeep; they have a laugh together. Freddie tells Jason he's arranged some extra overtime for him: split shifts on Wednesday and Thursday evenings. Jason is made up about that. Vince then rings summoning Freddie to his office.

Vince has established that in every case of short delivery, meat has actually gone missing, though it is all small errors. He reckons some customers might even not have noticed, but he is worried: a business can lose its reputation. Dealing with a complaint well and fast can be a goldmine, but goodwill runs out quickly if you keep making the same mistakes. They need to get to the bottom of this quickly: Casey Meats does not make mistakes.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 28th May, 2024

Lynda is organising again, while Lilian deals with some bad news.

Characters: Lynda, Robert, Jakob, Lilian, Chelsea, Fallon
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Lynda and Robert have been exploring the attic, where they have stored the Edwardian furniture left to them by Lynda's mother. Lynda feels they should bring more of it down and use it. Apparently when she saw Freddie and Vince in the shop they were very interested to be told about it. She decides to take down just one thing, a table for beside their bed, but then sees a dear little chest, which Robert recognises as his chest of military memorabilia with his father's old uniform from the Royal Army Medical Corps. Lynda finds his father's medal, and they ponder being able to hold something in your hand with so much history, so much meaning. Robert suggests that if we all lived with such courage and selflessness the world would be a nicer place to live in. He asks whether Lynda knows if anything is being done in the village to mark D-Day, eighty years ago next Thursday; she mentions that Borsetshire Vintage Society is having a Lindy Hop [named after Charles Lindbergh, a person it really might be better not to remember. Chris], which makes them both laugh. There is nothing in the village, though; they might go to the lighting of the beacon at Heydon Berrow. Lynda realises that between the end of the working day and the lighting of the beacon there would be a good few hours free; she'll think of something to occupy them.

Jakob provides Lilian with new leaflets on equine dental care and asks her to let him know if she needs any more. Lilian then wants to pick his brains about something: the plan was to let their new arrival, Cinnamon, out of the quarantine field today, but he seems a little under the weather and has been off his food for a few days; Jakob decides he has time to take a quick look at him straight away. As she looks out the paperwork, Lilian asks how things are between Kate and Brian; not good, it seems, because she has been staying with Jakob almost every night. Lilian is sorry for it: they ought to be concentrated on Alice. Kate would agree, according to Jakob, but she thinks that blaming everyone else for what Alice did isn't helping anyone, least of all Alice. Lilian can't find Cinnamon's stables contract, which Alice should have filled in when he arrived; she doesn't like to disturb her about it. Jakob suggests asking the owners; it would be useful to see his health and vaccination history. Lilian has worked out that Alice was probably already drinking when Cinnamon arrived and took her eye off the ball when he was logged onto the system. She never saw her drunk at The Stables, but 'she convinced Kate and I that we were wrong' [sic. Chris] and she was handling everything.

Just as Lynda finishes the dead-heading, Robert brings out a pot of Earl Grey and she and Robert eulogise the garden for a bit. She has been thinking about his father's uniform and what it represents. She thinks they should do something here, at Ambridge Hall, to commemorate D-Day: a living history museum. Robert likes the sound of it, but isn't it a bit close now to get something organised? Lynda pooh-poohs such defeatism: not if they move fast, and they do have the weekend to get the concept finalised. Robert starts to pick up her enthusiasm when she says the evening will start with him giving an account of the landings, and then after his talk visitors will move from room to room watching demonstrations on different aspects of the War. For example Robert can talk about his father's story in the living room at six pm, and someone else demonstrate wartime fashions at six thirty. Robert thinks of Chelsea as perhaps being up for that. Lynda thinks that a fantastic idea and gives Chelsea a ring at once. Maybe Tony or Pat will give a talk about the importance of home-grown food, she adds as the phone is ringing. When she has asked what Chelsea is doing next Thursday evening and Chelsea has admitted she has no plans, she broaches an idea for a hairstyles of the forties display, and Chelsea is wildly enthusiastic: she loves Victory Rolls, the proper Vera Lynn style; delighted, Lynda asks if that is a definite 'yes' and it clearly is, but Chelsea was walking to work and has now arrived at the tea-room so she will have to ring back rather than be told all Lynda's vision immediately. Lynda has an even better notion: she and Robert will pop by later to sample Fallon's new line, the orange marmalade cake. As Chelsea yodels 'bye!' and rings off, Lynda has another thought: Fallon will be the perfect person to do their Blitz Baking.

The lethargic Cinnamon is being examined by Jakob, who tells Lilian she was right to get him checked before she let him out of quarantine; Jakob is going to do some tests and get them sent to the lab, and if he sends them today they should be back within forty-eight hours. She has managed to get hold of the owners' daughter and they are away from home for the week, so there is no medical history available: she sees no choice but to go ahead with the tests.

Remembering the dusty treatment he was given last time he was there, Robert is uneasy at the tea-room, but Lynda has no qualms about summoning Chelsea over to their table and engaging her in a discussion, or rather subjecting her to an account of Lynda's Vision of an Event. Chelsea thinks it all sounds cool and wants to know what Lynda wants her to do. When she has been told she is going to demonstrate hairstyles and talk about wartime fashion she seems happy to do some re-search; she got well into history when she was applying to be a Lower Loxley guide. She shows signs of talking about it further but Lynda cuts her short: that's wonderful, and any questions she has she could bring to Lynda. One immediately occurs to her: could they have music She could bring her Bluetooth speaker and play wartime songs. Fallon brings over the cake, fresh from the oven, and Lynda is enormously enthusiastic about it, as indeed is Robert; Lynda describes it as her birthday come early, then reveals that her birthday is tomorrow. Before Fallon can escape, she asks if Chelsea has mentioned their living history event yet, and Chelsea starts to enthuse but says she will need a volunteer to practice her Victory Rolls on; Fallon at once says that she will do it. Chelsea thinks she might be able to do everyone's hair if she gets quick at it, and take donations for charity; Lynda asks Fallon whether she can persuade her to do a demonstration on food. She wouldn't have to bake on the spot, but they could hand round samples for people to try. Fallon remembers that she had a great-aunt who was a nurse in the war and she's sure Mum has a box of her things; she'll see if she can dig it out. Robert is interested in where her great-aunt served, but this is interrupted by Lynda asking if she can put Fallon down as a definite; Fallon sensibly says she'll have a think and let her know. She doesn't want to promise more than she can deliver.

At The Stables Lilian says ruefully that the signs are not promising, and Jakob has to agree with her. The endoscopy has revealed inflammation in the small chondroids; they look like pebbles but they're actually made of thick pus, Jakob tells her; she asks what he thinks is causing it. He needs to wait for the tests to come back from the lab but he has a pretty good idea what they are looking at. Lilian had better warn Joanne; everyone needs to be extra-vigilant with biosecurity while they wait for the results. Brilliant, says Lilian with feeling; this is all they need.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 29th May, 2024

In which the Blitz, D-Day and VE Day are all remembered simultaneously, by people who can't possibly remember them.

Characters: Robert, Lynda, Ben, Fallon, Jolene, Chelsea
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

It being Lynda's birthday, Robert has brought her breakfast in the garden: pancakes with raspberries and Bridge Farm yoghurt. Ben comes to deliver a birthday card from the family at Brookfield; Lynda invites him to join them at breakfast, but he has to get back to the silaging. Lynda mentions Robert having given her a pile of novels, and Ben bemoans not reading fiction much any more: he has too much reading for his course to have time for novels. Robert asks how his course is going, and this gives Lynda a wonderful idea: Ben can talk about nursing. He is bewildered for a moment, and she and Robert explain her latest project: he can talk about nursing in the second world war, and they will help him put a presentation together. He isn't enthusiastic, since he isn't much of a public speaker, but is persuaded (because it is Lynda's birthday) to come to a gathering in The Bull in the evening.

Fallon has dropped the tea-room's unsold bread off at The Bull kitchen; Wayne said the brewery are doing a collection tomorrow. She gives Jolene the bad news that Lilian, who promised to come and help behind the bar later, can't because something has come up at The Stables. Jolene is still looking for Great Aunt Connie's photographs, and pictures of Fallon herself as a child are unearthed, which leads to nostalgic talk about a romper suit she recalls with ladybirds on it, which Jolene had made for her. These is also a self-portrait from Fallon's first day at school, which leads to talk of only a mother's love being able to see the likeness to what was intended. Then the box containing a photo of Aunt Connie in her nurse's uniform surfaces, and also an inscribed picture of her American sweetheart Frank. Jolene doesn't know what happened to him, but Aunt Connie lived alone. Fallon finds a poem: 'I do not dream of you at night, no longer wings beat fruitlessly and wildly upon my window pane and wait in shades of black and white, you will not come again.' which she thinks must be about him. Jolene says she didn't see her often: the only clues are in this box. Fallon tells Jolene that Harrison sent her a poem on Sunday: sometimes people post them on the nature feeds he follows; it made her cry. Carefully, Jolene enquires about her and Harrison; Fallon responds that there is no change and he is still sleeping on the sofa. She then finds a diary entry [is this in an actual diary? I think we should be told. Chris] which Jolene starts to read out: 'one frightful memory from my war days...' Jolene remembers it and stops; she is not sure Fallon should read it right now if she is feeling a bit fragile about Harrison and about love.

Fallon has made a whole marmalade cake for Lynda [not the three-fifths – at most – that she merits? Gus] and Chelsea brings it to her, ringing a bell; Lynda and Robert are touched and Lynda wants to thank Fallon in person, but she is on her way back from The Bull. Robert reminds Chelsea of the D-Day planning meeting there tonight, and Chelsea says she has loads of ideas, which Lynda hails as 'fantastic'. Chelsea goes off saying 'back in a minute' and Lynda confides to Robert that she really is a treasure: it's wonderful how the young people are showing such enthusiasm for this venture and everything's coming together. Fallon rushes in and wishes her a happy birthday, and Lynda and Robert thank her for the cake. Lynda wonders whether she managed to give some thought to their Blitz Baking idea [Blitz: 1940-1941; D-Day: 1944. Not at the same time. Chris.] and thinks it might be a distraction for her; that is exactly what Fallon has been thinking, and she could do with a change, away from work and home. Lynda is delighted to have her, and suggests she might look for a recipe for Woolton Pie. Fallon has never heard of that, so Robert and Lynda infodump all we need to know. Robert remembers his mother making it for the family and wishes that he had her recipe. Fallon then tells them about her Great-Auntly finds and that she has a hand-written account of an evening during the war; she just read it on her way over to the tea-room. She supposes one could say it's a love-story, but it's such a heart breaking, um... She can't continue, and has to leave for some fresh air. Lynda decides to go and check on her.

Outside, Fallon is crying but manages to stop in order to tell Lynda she is sorry and didn't mean to leave like that, but explains that almost anything sets her off at the minute: a flower broken off its stem made her cry yesterday. Lynda is sympathetic, and Fallon goes on to tell her that things have been quite difficult between her and Harrison since the accident. Lynda suggests they have both been through such a lot; Fallon agrees and adds that Jolene keeps telling her to give it time. Lynda compares Fallon's experience to her own after the explosion and not sleeping in the same bed as Robert for a long time after it; this information surprises Fallon, who reciprocates by telling her that Harrison is sleeping on the sofa. Lynda advises her that if she wants things to get back to normal, at some point she has to grit her teeth together and start talking. [Talking through gritted teeth? Chris.] Fallon says that's exactly what they can't do, and Lynda says that trauma of any kind is shattering and bound to have an impact on them both. Have they thought of going together to get some help? Fallon can't see that working: all those couples counselling buzzwords like 'compromise' and 'communication' are useless for them. They had a horrible row last Friday, and they could apologise for the way they said things, but not what they said: it feels impossible. She loves him, and she misses him. His birthday is coming up next week [make a note; that isn't on the webpage. Chris] and normally they'd do something really nice together but he's hardly going to be in the mood for celebrating with her. Only if she doesn't plan anything, he might think she doesn't care, she adds miserably. Lynda asks about their very first date, whereat Fallon remembers that Harrison arrested her, and later asked her out because 'he wanted to get to know the woman behind the criminal'; the two women laugh together, and then Fallon thanks Lynda for abandoning her birthday cake to try and make her feel better.

The option to say 'no' wasn't on the table for Ben, so he is at The Bull for Lynda's meeting; if he's honest, he's quite enjoying the research, which he shares with the listeners: nurses during the war worked an eighty-four hour week and got paid less than men at the same level of the army, which somehow fails to surprise Jolene. Chelsea comes in, bound for the meeting, and greets Ben cheerfully before asking him what his bit is all about; he has no idea, to be honest, but thinks something about nursing back then; he thought he'd probably find out tonight. Chelsea hopes Lynda won't have him slashing people and stitching up their wounds for real, then because he seems taken aback explains kindly that was a joke. He asks how she is, and she decides what they need is a drink; when he offers to get them she refuses to let him on the grounds that he is still a poor student and she literally has three jobs; Jolene seizes the opportunity to suggest they could try the new bread beer, which they are happy to do. Fallon has shown Chelsea some photos of her great-aunt, whose hair was amazing. Nurses were so much more glamorous back then, Chelsea marvels; Ben wants to know what's not glamorous about jeans and a slightly frayed hoodie, and Chelsea is glad that at least there is no whiff of silage off him; when he says that's a relief she tells him not to worry, he smells all right.

Fallon is talking about Woolton Pie with Robert: she will try different versions over the weekend and if they turn out all right she could serve it in the tea-room to advertise the event. When Chelsea arrives to the fanfare of her own voice, Lynda says Pat will be there soon and Jim will be along later, then calls the meeting to order. The first thing she wants to say is how moved she was by the piece of writing Fallon showed her, and Fallon confesses that every time she reads it, it makes her cry; Ben wants to know what writing this is and Chelsea takes it upon herself to explain it was about someone whose fiancé was killed days before the wedding, after which Lynda suggests Ben might find it best if he reads the original. Robert says there is something about holding the genuine article in your hands: you can feel the weight of history in the paper. Everyone murmurs agreement, and Ben says that wow, this is some story: did it actually happen? Yeah, she assures him, and Chelsea tells him to wait till he reads the end: Chelsea was a mess. Shattering, Lynda decides; it's the small details in the story that really cut through, the atmosphere – they absolutely must include it in some way. Fallon thanks Lynda for organising this, and tells her it's rally lovely to be out in the pub with something to get her teeth stuck into. Robert proposes a toast to another grand project: happy birthday Lyndy!

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 30th May, 2024

Freddie plays Columbo and Lilian bites the bullet.

Characters: Vince, Freddie, Jason, Oliver, Lilian, Jakob
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Although he is not yet in the office, Vince is in telephone touch with Freddie; there have been more complaints, including one from the food hall at Underwoods. Freddie tells him there are no obvious issues at processing, packaging or storage, and he is in the loading bay checking there as a last hope. Vince enquires whether he is thinking of a driver nicking meat from deliveries already packed to go; Freddie thinks that possible, and points out the actual amount being reported missing isn't massive, but more than a casual worker taking home the odd cut for his Sunday lunch. Vince's opinion is that it sounds more systematic than someone hiding it under his overalls: more like someone storing it in a fridge for a couple of days before selling it on. Freddie wonders, sell it on to who? A dodgy butcher? Vince knows there are plenty of people looking for a bargain. Freddie has checked: they have a stack of casuals at present as well as the permanent van drivers and it will be tricky to catch who's doing it. Vince thinks it might be worth drawing up a spreadsheet of all the complaints they've had in the last couple of weeks and who was working when those order were loaded; he reckons it will have been on lates when there are fewer people around to notice and they need to see if they can spot a pattern. Freddie will get onto that. Vince then mentions, as if casually, that one of the drivers has a criminal record. As Freddie starts to defend the man (and incidentally himself) he is interrupted by Jason wanting a word with him. There is a warning light showing on the dashboard of Jason's van, indicating an electrical fault: it's running OK, so can he still drive it? Freddie wants to talk with the garage, but Jason feels they are flat out and can't afford to be a van down today. Since he's on his break, Freddie will see the garage and then come and find him. He then asks Jason whether having a lot of casual drivers is working all right, and Jason says it is; his niece Ellie, the lass with the red hair, is one of them. Freddie further asks whether, once orders get to the loading bay, there is any way they could get mixed up at that stage, and Jason is very clear that they could, and sometimes do. He's known a whole delivery get switched. That's not what Freddie is after though: he's thinking abut the delivery they made to the care home on Monday to replace a missing item. How easy would it be for an item to go astray? Jason has no idea: they just deliver what's on the trays. He also laughs at the idea that the order is always checked at the other end: most of their customers just trust them.

Oliver and Lilian meet on their ways to the shop; Lilian is going to The Stables, since the new barman at The Bull is getting the hang of it and she is no longer needed there. They speak of the D-Day event poster that Lynda already has up in the shop window. Oliver thought of doing something at Grey Gables, but with Roy away visiting Lexi in Bulgaria it seemed like asking for trouble: he just wishes Roy had left a clone of himself to keep things running smoothly. As they go into the shop they meet Vince, who is there to buy some champagne to take with him on a surprise trip with Elizabeth, a long weekend away at a lakeside cabin with a wood-fired hot-tub; he forgot to add champagne to the food order. He thought of cancelling the trip because they have headaches at work, (Lilian mentioning that she has those too goes unnoticed) but decided that if you are living to work instead of working to live something has gone badly wrong; and now he had better crack on if he is to get off early this afternoon. As he goes out Lilian's phone rings: it's Jakob, reporting to her that the results are back from Cinnamon's tests and wondering if she has time to pop into the surgery. She leaves at once.

When she gets to the surgery Jakob shows her the results, which confirm Cinnamon has strangles. She feared as much, and wants to know how the horse is; Jakob tells her it is possible he'll make a full recovery, but he's definitely a carrier and Jakob has to recommend a full lock-down of the stables. Lilian havers: that's not a legal requirement, is it? They didn't lock down for the case they had ten years ago. Jakob reminds her that it is taken more seriously now than it used to be, and although in the end it is up to her, his professional advice is to inform all the owners as soon as possible: openness is the best policy. He enumerates the way that highly-contagious strangles could have spread; Lilian is worried that with Cinnamon's paperwork missing they will look incompetent at best and negligent at worst, and there have already been grumbles about Alice. Jakob argues that even if all the paperwork was in order it doesn't stop strangles: even vaccinated horses can still catch the disease. The crucial thing is not to let it spread. Lilian is horrified about the consequences if they do close for the time being; she will set up the heightened security measures right away and make a decision about a full lock-down by the end of the day. She'll let Joanne know; leave it with her and she'll take some time to think how best to manage this.

Vince thanks Freddie for pulling together the spread-sheet; Freddie is just sorry it doesn't help, since meat is being reported missing from seemingly random deliveries that don't correspond to the shifts of any one driver. Vince grumbles that they might have to resort to following the drivers on a late shift and looking out for any drop-offs on their route. Freddie says Jason's on lates tonight doing a split shift; they could start by following him, but Vince reminds him he won't be there tonight, then asks when Antonio's next late shift is. Since Antionio is the ex con, Freddie wants to know why and is bluntly told that's the reason; indignantly Freddie suggests that every time anything dodgy happens Vince points the finger at him, and Vince reasonably points out that he is the one most likely to have the contacts. Freddie tells him to go ahead and accuse Freddie too: he could have a gang of criminal mates keen to buy knock-off meat. Apparently Vince is not accusing Antonio, and when he's back from his weekend away with Elizabeth they'll make a plan to follow everyone – but if Vince was to put a bet on who's running this racket, his money would be on Antonio.

Lilian has decided to lock down, even though she is afraid that if there is even a hint that Alice made a mistake some of the owners will be baying for blood. [Even though the paperwork definitely would not have said 'this horse has strangles' and is therefore totally irrelevant... Chris.] Jakob is sure this is even more reason to do the right thing quickly, which will give them the best chance of coming out of this with the stables' reputation unscathed. Lilian knows he is right, and also wouldn't share her Alice worries with anyone but Jakob, whom she knows to understand. She has spoken with Joanne about all the biosecurity measures they have to take, and is setting up the red, amber and green traffic-light protocol in the yard. They have a few owners out on their horses at present but as soon as they're back she'll shut early to get all the new measures in place and then inform everyone who needs to know. Including other local equine centres, Jakob reminds her, and she adds Chris too. Oliver now shouts a greeting to Jakob, and Lilian heads for the office, asking him to take a minute to look at their biosecurity plans if he can. As Oliver rides up Jakob tells him Lilian is shutting early for maintenance and it might be best to get Duke back to his stable as soon as possible. Oliver cheerfully agrees to do so, though he wants to give him some water because he thinks the heat might have got to the old boy; before he does he has a favour to ask Jakob, about helping out at the South Borsetshire Hunt pony club camp: would Jakob very kindly volunteer again as the show vet for the mounted games? Jakob is sorry, but he will have to get back to him about this: he's just promised Lilian he will help her out because something rather urgent has come up.

Freddie rings Vince to leave a message: he plans to follow Jason's delivery tonight; he promises he won't do anything risky, but if Vince wants to tell Freddie's mum he's on a covert mission ending in a car chase ... Joking, obviously. He tells Vince to enjoy the lakeside cabin and rings off, then calls over to Jason, asking if he's got a minute. Did Jason get his message about the garage? They said it shouldn't take long, they just need to run it through diagnostics. Jason says it's not a problem because it's on his delivery route for the morning anyway. Also, says Freddie, Gail's just told him she can't work tomorrow, if Jason is up for more overtime. Jason is sorry, but it's the girls' football presentation night, the end of season awards, and if he doesn't go they will be disappointed. He suggests that Antonio might be up for some extra work, and Freddie agrees to ask him, then offers to help Jason load up. Jason declines this offer on the grounds that he's a bit particular with the loading of his crates; he tells Freddie not to mess with the system, and Freddie assures him that he wouldn't dream of it. Since Jason has rejected his offer of brute strength, he jokes, he will slope off back to his office job. Jason laughs at him cheerfully. As he is about to go Freddie turns and asks 'just one more thing': what time is Jason setting off for his delivery this evening?

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 31st May, 2024

Freddie, Ben and Chelsea are now a cross between Fargo and James Bond.

Characters: Tracy, Chelsea, Vince, Freddie, George, Ben
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Since she needs to practice victory rolls, Chelsea is doing Tracy's hair for work, and Tracy tells her she needs to be able to talk her through doing them so she can do it for everyone at the demonstration next week. As a result, the listeners are treated to a tutorial. Chelsea reckons Tracy should keep the rolls in for the evening, put on some bright red lippy, and wear the emerald green blouse she got from the charity shop.

Summoned to the phone, Freddie tells Vince they have had a couple of complaints about short orders, but he's demonstrated zealous commitment to extraordinary customer service, which pleases Vince. Vince has got his message about following Jason, and Freddie tells him he wasted three hours of his life hanging behind Jason's van. Vince is startled: he though Freddie was joking about following him. He adds that he'd rather not have to tell Freddie's mother that Freddie got himself beaten up in a brawl over stolen meat. Freddie assures him there is no chance of that: he stayed in the car the whole time and kept well back, well hidden. Anyway, Antonio is on the late delivery tonight and Freddie can follow his van as it leaves the yard. Or, suggests Vince, he could wait until Vince is back, which was the plan all along; he would be much happier if they did this together. Freddie ends the conversation by claiming another call is coming through.

The weekend George has got planned seems tame: drilling swedes, gaming, and playing cricket. Tracy sees a picture of her on his phone, and he explains he is editing footage from the T20 trying to get another post out of it; she hopes he's not planning to make her look stupid. Chelsea comes over and wants to know what George thinks of the hair and make-up she did for Tracy; he reckons it's all right but a bit old-fashioned, and Tracy says that's the whole idea, and loads of people have been asking how she did it, in reply to which she has repeated Chelsea's patter from earlier. When Chelsea protests she comes clean: she has been telling them her very talented daughter did it, and has also been advertising next week's event at Ambridge Hall. Ben greets the company but mostly Chelsea, and asks Tracy for a pint of cider with ice. He insists on buying a drink for Chelsea too and says it is his round, which George declares to be very generous of him: 'mine's a pint of Shires'. Chelsea opts for a lemonade because she is working early in the morning. Tracy asks about Ben's part in Lynda's 'thing', and Chelsea tells her that he is doing a talk on nursing during the war, which gives Ben an opportunity for an infodump about conscription. Tracy tells them their generation is being called the 'pre-war generation' and says that George would be all right and has what it takes to be a soldier; Chelsea dismissively says that just because he jumps into a river doesn't mean he wants to fight in a war.

Freddie is summoning reinforcements, in the person of Ben; Ben is full of the planning for Lynda's event, and says that Robert was telling them how Freddie's great-grandfather Alec actually fought at D-Day, and Freddie remembers Nigel telling them the story or at least part of it; Ben bets that Lynda would love him to talk about it. Freddie might if it was months away, but work is crazy right now, which is what he was ringing Ben about. He wondered if Ben could come and help him with something, tonight; he kind of needs a volunteer this very moment because he thinks Vince might freak out if he finds Freddie is doing it on his own. Ben says he would feel bad leaving Chelsea, even after Freddie describes it as 'sort of Fargo meets James Bond', and Freddie says that Chelsea could come too. When Ben continues obdurate, Freddie tells him he'll be sorry when Freddie is found tomorrow, dead in a wheelie-bin.

Jim, who definitely was not there at the time, has told Chelsea all about the Normandy landings, which has impressed her. Freddie has clearly decided to come for Ben's help in person, since he now puts in an appearance and thus stops another infodump from happening; he offers Ben a last chance to come with him, and Ben explains to the assembled war-freaks that Freddie wants his company on a secret mission involving stolen meat. Chelsea for some reason likens it to the paratroopers before D-Day: sounds cool to her, she's in. Ben decides that if she is going he had better come too, but they will need to pick up doughnuts on the way. And coffee, adds Chelsea. George, however, is not at all interested, even when Chelsea says it might make a blog post, but Freddie forbids putting it on social media anyway: it is, he says, strictly under the wire. [Sic. Chris.] George not being open to persuasion about it, the other three set out.

After a careful pursuit of Antonio, they are just pulling into a lay-by when Freddie's phone rings again; Vince wants to speak to him and make it clear that he doesn't want Freddie doing anything on his own. Intending to mislead, Freddie says he is with Ben and Chelsea, and they back him up, but Vince just ignores that to say that he really doesn't want Freddie to put himself in danger by following the vans. Freddie denies it, Chelsea loudly offers him a crisp, and Vince tries to make him promise not to go all vigilante on him, for his mother's sake. Freddie pretends the signal is breaking up and rings off without having either told any lies or made any promises, and the three followers watch the van, pulled in at the front of the lay-by while they are at the far end. Chelsea reckons it is proper exciting. Another van pulls in behind the first, but they can't read the number-plate. Chelsea spots the Casey's driver getting out and then they see him handing over bags of meat, and when he gets a proper look at him Freddie realises that it's not Antonio: Ben thinks that's good news because he wanted Vince to be wrong about the ex-con, but Freddie is upset because he really, really didn't want it to be Jason.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 2nd June, 2024

Lynda's muse is active, a cricket match is won, and Freddie worries about Jason.

Characters: Lynda, Robert, Chelsea, Freddie, Harrison, Ben
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

It seems that Lynda has been so taken by the piece of writing by Fallon's great-aunt that she has decided to improve it by re-writing it and turning it into a short playlet for her D-Day event at Ambridge Hall. Robert thinks it rather late in the day, but she is sure she can turn out something suitable using the same three characters as in the original: the soldier, the soldier's fiancée, and the friend of the fiancée – who is actually Fallon's great-aunt Constance. She plans to call the character Constance, or rather Connie since that was how she was known. Robert wonders who would act in it, and Lynda was thinking of Chelsea and Ben, who are already participating, and Fallon as her own great-aunt, though that casting slightly concerns Lynda because Fallon became emotional talking about her. If she asked her carefully it ought to be all right, is Robert's opinion: she could always say no. Just so long as Lynda doesn't cajole her, he adds. Lynda indignantly denies any such intention, but Robert definitely thinks that she should ask Fallon what she thinks about the idea before she begins writing. Since she hasn't yet written it, Lynda doesn't intend to mention it at all unless she gets something she's happy with. If she gets started at once she might have it done by the end of the day. Robert enters a caveat: what about the cricket, Ambridge versus Loxley Barrett? As chair, isn't she meant to be there? She immediately decides that if she cracks on with it she can take a break for the cricket, and she won't be happy unless she gives it a try. Robert gives up.

When Chelsea arrives for the cricket and complains about the heat, Freddie tells her she needs a hat, and when she explains she doesn't have one, tells her that there is sure to be something in the pavilion: she should look in Lost Property. When she protests that she doesn't want to look stupid, he tells her she doesn't want to burn either, which makes her call him a wise man. She then wants to know what Vince said about the guy nicking meat, but he's not back till tonight so Freddie doesn't know yet. Chelsea enjoyed the stake-out thing, which made her feel as if they were in a film, but Freddie is less enthusiastic; she asks if he is worried about Loxley Barrett [which is actually Freddie's home team, since LB is closer to LL than Ambridge is, but that is geographical information and thus a closed book to the editorial team. Chris], which he denies. He then admits he is actually worried about Jason, who is going to lose his job and has two kids, but Chelsea's more pragmatic view is that in that case he ought not to nick stuff. Freddie protests that he's a really nice bloke, and yes, he has told Vince and Vince is going to deal with it tomorrow, but he saw no point in rushing back when he is happy in a hot-tub with Freddie's mother – which Freddie really doesn't want to think about, and nor does Chelsea. But poor Jason, mourns Freddie, has no idea that his life is about to fall apart; Freddie just didn't want it to be him. But it was him, persists Chelsea, and that is not Freddie's fault. Before this can be argued any further Harrison breezes up full of the joys of Spring, and at once informs Chelsea that she needs an 'at. When she tells him that is what Freddie said, Harrison tells her there will be something in lost Property, and Freddie tells him that he said that too. They then discuss their chances against Loxley Barrett and agree it would be embarrassing, nay mortifying, if they lost. This devolves into Freddie teasing Harrison for Chelsea's benefit, and Harrison claiming they have to be nice to him because it's his birthday tomorrow: he is going to be thirty-nine. Chelsea at once mocks him being so old, then when he protests tells him he looks good on it, for a man of thirty-nine; Freddie enters the caveat that actually he is thirty-eight. They then tell Harrison, amid laughter, that they are only kidding.

When Robert comes to remind Lynda that the cricket starts in ten minutes, she is far too busy and engrossed to want to go, and deputises him to take her place [not that there is the least need for her to be there unless she were being the umpire. Chris]. Just as he is about to go and do as he has been told she asks him to mention what she is doing to Chelsea and Ben, if he gets a chance. Ben might not be there, since he's not on the team, but he might be watching. In fact, if they could pop round when the match is over that would be wonderful. Robert assures her he will see what they say.

Chelsea makes a squeaking noise and apparently catches a ball, since she is congratulated for doing so, amid cheers. Harrison comes over to tell the 'lads and lasses' that it were a good game; Freddie invites him for an early birthday beer at The Bull but he would prefer another time, next week maybe, and Chelsea too is not interested: too hot. When Ben comes over to congratulate them on a great game Freddie invites him too, but he's more interested in telling Chelsea about Robert's having collared him about a favour he wants to ask both of them. Ben didn't know what to say and couldn't speak for her, but Lynda has written a play, well, a playlet, as part of the D-Day event, and wants them to be in it, and Fallon: there's just three parts. She wants them to go over there and take a look. Chelsea is reluctant: she just wants just to collapse in the garden. Ben suggests they could just say no, or at least not today, or they don't have to do it at all: after all, he's not an actor; nor am I, Chelsea agrees. But she was really good in that lark rise by candlelight thing, according to Ben. As is her wont, Chelsea moans 'what do you thinks we should do?', and Ben doesn't know but points out that Lynda is a hard woman to say no to. Chelsea knows that's true.

Robert returns triumphantly to tell Lynda that Ambridge beat Loxley Barrett, which she clearly regarded as a foregone conclusion, she is more interested in her playlet; she gives it to Robert to read, asking him to promise he will tell her the truth if it is awful. It matters that Fallon and Jolene should be happy with it, and she wants to honour the memory of Connie and the other real people in it.

It seems that Freddie being so soft has come as a bit of a surprise to Chelsea; he doesn't want Vince to sack Jason. Ben realises that Vince has got to sack him, which Chelsea knows too. Ben mentions that he doesn't know what the play is about, though they both know it's got to be something to do with D-Day.

Robert thinks the playlet is fantastic, the best thing Lynda has ever written, beautiful. He is moved by it almost to tears, and really, really impressed. Only when he says that when Chelsea and Ben will absolutely want to do it when they've read it does Lynda suddenly realise that they might not be the best people for the parts: she can't possibly ask them to play tragic lovers. Robert is surprised: he had assumed she had already thought of that, but no, she forgot, completely forgot their ... history. She was so wrapped up in it; how dreadful of her! Well, she'll just have to ask someone else. Understandably, Robert asks who; Lynda doesn't know, but preferably a very happy couple with absolutely no problems. As Robert is pointing out that no-one has no problems, Chelsea and Ben arrive; before Robert goes to open the side gate into the garden Lynda frantically asks what she is to do, and he sensibly replies that she should let them read it: it's so lovely that as soon as they read it he thinks they'll want to do it. She wavers: what if they hate it? They won't hate it, says Robert with conviction, but she is still worried: they might hate her, for her total lack of sensitivity. What Robert knows is that they can't leave them standing outside the garden gate for ever; she must just have faith, in them and in herself. He goes to open the gate.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti7

Monday 3rd June, 2024

Fallon abases herself, and Jason is given the push.

Characters: Harrison, Fallon, Jason, Freddie, Vince
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Far too early in the morning, Harrison is rejoicing over the large number of presents Fallon has bought and wrapped for his birthday. She is apologetic because they are not all something special and indeed, she is not sure about one of them. She has also made some croissants but is not sure about those either. When she was making the dough at midnight she told him she was making Woolton Pie. Harrison makes an exceedingly weak joke about that having been a pie lie and guffaws at his own wit, and Fallon nearly splits her sides with laughter. He thanks her for all this, and asks where he should start; she says he should choose, then immediately tells him that his choice isn't a good one and directs him to something else. Neither of them slept well, and Harrison has to say it felt weird waking up on the sofa on his birthday. Fallon knows, and she nearly said last night 'please can we stop this', but she was worried that he'd say 'no'; they agree that they hate this and that they are both idiots, though Fallon adds that she hadn't finished the croissant dough and didn't want him to clock what she was doing so it was partly that too. Tentatively she suggests that they can stop it now, can't they? Harrison's reply is an emphatic 'yes': he's thirty-nine years old, and he should be sleeping in the same bed as his wife. Fallon squeakily agrees, then instructs him to start opening presents.

There's a slightly uncomfortable meeting for Freddie when Jason greets him at work, and asks about his weekend. Freddie witters awkwardly about the cricket until he is rescued by Vince, who asks him to come into his office and then, apparently as an afterthought, tells Jason to come and join them. The three of them are going to have a chat.

The croissants provide Harrison with an excuse to talk with his mouth full for some time, but Fallon doesn't seem to mind. She remains dissatisfied with her work: they should be lighter and she doesn't know how the French do it. Harrison, saying that he means this in the nicest possible Northern way, tells her to shurrup, which witticism makes her chortle again. He tells her they're great and his presents are brilliant, making especial mention of a book of Larkin's poetry; he thinks Larkin's going to be his man: he was born down the road, in Coventry [up the road, surely? Coventry is three-quarters of an hour away to the north-east. Chris.] which Fallon says is practically Ambridge. She says that it's so nice to feel normal, then hastens to add that she doesn't mean like everything's fixed, but momentarily lighter. Harrison hopes that it will last longer than a moment, and after she has agreed says that he should get ready for work, though Fallon thinks it doesn't feel like a work day; he thinks he should have taken the day off but it's too late now. Before he can go to get into his uniform she tells him Lynda has asked her to be in a play for D-Day: she's written something with Great-Aunt Connie as a character; Harrison knows nothing about this at all, because Fallon didn't tell him about finding her great-aunt's lovely, tragic writing last week.

It's clear at once that Freddie doesn't think he needs to be there, but Vince thinks it would be useful to have him with them. Jason asks if everything is OK, and Vince enquires pointedly why everything wouldn't be OK. He is 'surprised' when Jason says he has no idea, and after some to and fro between them, with Jason denying all knowledge, Freddie urges Jason in an undervoice just to tell him. Vince remarks sourly that this could go on for a while and he has other things to do today beside sitting there watching Jason sweat. They know he's been nicking meat and selling it on. Jason completely denies it, and argues that he would never steal from his job, or anyone else, and he's worked there for years and been a good employee. Vince says that makes it all the more shocking, and Freddie asks if he can just say something; he implores Jason not to make it worse for himself, then urges him to tell them everything he knows, like who he is selling on to and how he got involved in all this, maybe Mr Casey will let him keep his job – this last bit he says tentatively. Vince says that depends on the quality of the info, doesn't it, so don't even think about feeding them a load of old toffee.

It is nearly seven thirty and there is just time for Harrison to have a shower before work. Fallon wants him not to be late home, because she has plans for the evening which she refuses to divulge, though when he says he absolutely does not want a surprise party she reassures him that is not it: the plan only involves him and her. He perks up no end at that, and when she says she can tell him what it is if he wants he passes up the chance to find out. He trusts her.

At lunch in the canteen Freddie is still upset from the morning, and not all that hungry; Vince castigates him for having looked miserable all morning and tells him that he should be as pleased as Punch that they have caught Jason. Also Freddie was brilliant and played an absolute belter. The bit when he told Jason that if he told them everything he could keep his job meant that Jason literally told them everything. Freddie bitterly explains that he meant it, because he thought he might actually be able to stay working there, but then Vince went and sacked him anyway. Vince really doesn't understand: of course he did, how could he possibly keep someone on who'd done that to him? Freddie just felt so sorry for Jason, who was only nicking the meat so he could pay for his kids to go on the school ski trip. Vince's heart bleeds: there are people who can't afford to eat right now and they are the ones Freddie should be feeling sorry for. Freddie knows that, and does, but a bit of him wondered why two kids from a working class background shouldn't get to do something that kids like him take for granted, for once. Vince can tell him why: because these things can't be funded by nicking from Vince's abattoir.

By eager questioning Fallon discovers that Harrison's work knew it was his birthday and that they sang to him and got him a supermarket cake which tasted terrible: synthetic, nasty and super-sweet. When he in turn questions her, she tells him they are driving to Brookfield barn, which alarms him: it is a surprise party, isn't it. She denies that it is, but when he freaks out about a great big space and them not having a barn dance on their own, obviously not trusting her or taking her word about it, ends up telling him what she has actually planned. The plans for use of the barn as a cinema have been messed up by one of the three bridges over the Am in Ambridge having to be repaired after the accident, so Ben has agreed to show a film just for her and Harrison as a test-run. Harrison thinks that is amazing, and lovely, and Fallon tells him it is going to be him, her, popcorn and Prosecco. He is less delighted when she tells him it will be his absolute favourite film, and he guesses first Point Break, then Speed, Rogue One, and Taxi Driver. Fallon can't believe it and tells him it's Footloose. It is Harrison's turn to be incredulous, and instead of having the grace to pretend he likes that, he bursts out laughing at her and makes no secret of that definitely not being one of his favourite films. She is sure he said that it was: when she said that she loved Chicago he said he loved Footloose. He stops laughing to tell her she is wrong and he never said that. [Gaslighting git. Gus.] She is very upset and thinks it a disaster, but he just laughs at her and says it's funny, and it'll be great. Clutching at straws, Fallon says that maybe Ben can change it, of course he can change it: there will be other films, they can watch something else; in fact they can probably watch anything they want. Harrison says no: he wants to watch Footloose now, and will be really upset if they don't watch that. She ends up abject and apologetic when he tells her that he doesn't love it, but his saying that he loves her completely cures everything and she tells him that she loves him too. Lucky, that, says Harrison complacently.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 4th June, 2024

Fawlty Gables, a carry-on with Mick and Joy, and strangles for comic relief.

Characters: Oliver, Mick, Lily, Lilian, Jakob, Joy
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Mick, security man at Grey Gables, is working on the front desk when Oliver comes in, and at once tells him that one of the guests has said her very expensive sunglasses have gone missing; he didn't take her name and he couldn't do anything for her because of being on the desk. Oliver asks why he is behind the desk, and it seems Mick wondered that himself – but it was in the rota, and he thought that if they wanted him on reception, well, who was he to argue. Oliver doesn't want him on reception, and says so; he misses Roy more and more. Mick is somewhat at a loss and asks what Oliver wants him to do; Oliver mildly suggests that perhaps he might brush his hair. Mick feels it might be better if somebody else takes over, if it's a mistake in the rota; Oliver concedes that would be the obvious solution but he is not sure who is available. On cue, Lily breezes in warbling a cheery 'good morning', and Mick suggests she could take over from him; she didn't know he worked reception, and when it is explained by Oliver that it is a mistake in the rota and he will have to call someone in, since that is tech and Roy's department not his, she volunteers to deal with it since she used to organise rotas for Lower Loxley. Mick begs her to take over on reception, but she patronisingly tells him she will be very happy to do that as soon as she has fixed the rota. Oliver assures Mick he will be fine, and tells him again to brush his hair.

At The Stables, Jakob is breaking it to Lilian that he thinks Oliver's horse Duke also has strangles. She is very downcast; it has definitely spread, then. Jakob adds 'at least to this one horse', and she decides she must call Oliver at once. Jakob offers to do it, but she feels it is her job.

After nervously clearing his throat, Mick answers the phone, but he need not have worried; it's Joy. They exchange slightly stilted greetings and briefly touch on the accident, then are mutually apologetic about their last meeting but agree they probably ought not to talk about it now. She actually called to say that one of the Grey Gables guests has left a pair of sunglasses in the shop; Mick is massively relieved and explains they were worried those had been nicked from a room. Joy tells him they retail at about two and a half thousand pounds, which Mick finds absurd, but he then realises that what she has said must mean she's back to working at the shop and he thought she was meant to be taking it easy; she tells him it's not a problem, honestly, and she could bring the shades over if he likes, later on. He tells her she could take a look at his new motor home; as he is about to explain, someone comes into the shop and she has to ring off, but she agrees to come over later. Lily at once approaches the desk to tell Mick with a certain amount of relish that she hasn't sorted out the rota but they have had two complaints about the man at reception. Mick wants to know what has been said, and then denies having told a high-flying CEO that he was fat; what he did was say to a man heading for the gym that he too had trouble keeping the weight off (Lily says his name with deep reproach) but that's not the same as saying he's fat, is it.

Oliver has told Lilian he wants to come over and talk about it, but she doesn't know what there is to say at this point. She just can't believe it's still spread when Cinnamon was in the furthest field the whole time and they've been so careful. Jakob attributes it to horribly bad luck, and fears that it is possible there may be other cases. Lilian bemoans the timing, just as the show season is up and running. She's had more than one girl on the phone in tears, they're haemorrhaging money, riding lessons are all cancelled, and she still can't find the paperwork. She's asked Alice already, and can't ask her again: she swears she filled it in and Lilian believes her. Jakob clearly has doubts: is Lilian sure Alice wasn't drinking at work? Lilian doesn't know, but didn't see her doing so nor suspect she was, and Alice promised that she wasn't; Jakob values that at its true worth, having his own experience of Alice's passing acquaintance with honesty. Lilian tells him he mustn't blame himself for something that is Alice's responsibility.

Oliver has come to collect the sunglasses from the shop because he was on his way to The Stables, and to get some shoe-polish because Mick's shoes could do with a going-over; he is an excellent security guard but his presentation is lacking. Joy thinks it was good of Mick to muck in: he's a good man. Oliver concurs but then says that's another way of looking at it. Joy mentions popping over to see the new motor home, and Oliver tells her it is in the staff car-park but Oliver has made it clear that can't be a permanent arrangement.

When he gets to The Stables, Lilian asks him to sit down and thanks him for adhering to all the safety protocols, offering him a cup of tea. He refuses because he can't stay: things are in disarray without Roy, though Lily is being absolutely marvellous, and he thinks hotel management might suit her down to the ground. Lilian brings the subject to the ostensible purpose of Oliver's visit, his horse Duke, and says how very sorry she is; she can assure him they are taking the very best care of him. Oliver supposes he just wanted to talk to her about how on earth this could have happened, and she replies that Jakob says they've simply been terribly unlucky. Oliver is surprised: and that's it? Lilian has to tell him that it is. They have very strict protocols, and Lilian went straight into lockdown as soon as they suspected strangles, and now there are no visitors, no-one is coming in and out, and no-one can even come into the office until they've disinfected their boots. Oliver points out that the virus has spread despite all this; Lilian says it's appallingly bad luck, and he suggests it might be human error.

Joy knocks on the door of Mick's home, which he has not tidied up at all, and surprises him. He makes all sorts of excuses for the mess, such as not expecting visitors, including the suggestion that he didn't know she was coming [in spite of her having specifically told him that she was, earlier on the same day. Chris]; she asks him not to say sorry and tells him it's nice, or it could be. He turns down her offer of help clearing up, and tells her he gave up his flat and hopes he can park in the staff car-park long term; she knows Oliver said it wasn't permanent and says so, but Mick is sort of hoping he forgets about that, to be honest. Joy doesn't think he will. Mick ruefully says that Lily might remind him, and when Joy replies that Lily's not in charge says he doesn't know: he thinks she could be, give it a couple of years. He moves things and makes room for Joy to sit down. Joy then apologises for blowing up at the party, and he apologises in turn for having looked through her address book. Joy knows it was coming from a good place: like Oliver said, 'his heart is in the right place even if his tie isn't.' After more apology from Mick, Joy asks if they can just agree to keep some things private, and Mick agrees that of course they can, except that he hasn't really got anything he wants or needs to keep private, not from her; he only kept the job secret because he wanted to surprise her. He thinks that's why he didn't understand before, about Rochelle. Joy starts to say something about things not being... but he goes on that he shouldn't have said what he said about her; Joy confusingly speaks of his trying to protect her, but there's just some things that... and again he doesn't answer what she has actually said, but tells her that he knows, he means he is starting to get that. Joy almost whispers that she just can't talk about it, she can't [if only there were more such topics! Gus], and he says again that he knows, that's what he's saying, she doesn't have to tell him anything she doesn't want to. She thanks him, then asks is she can have a hug; he tells her that she definitely can.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 5th June, 2024

Ed and Emma still have all their fingers; Freddie and Vince risk having theirs Broke.

Characters: Emma, George, Vince, Freddie, Ed
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The tree surgeons are home from their course, and Emma is having a beer with her son; he says he missed her because it was strange her and Ed not being there for so long. He felt homesick, which was weird because he was home, and she and Ed were away. He just had to get on with it. Emma has heard about his heroism and makes much of it, but he really wishes she wouldn't: he's sort of ready for everyone to stop going on about it. It's over now, it's in the past. Only a couple of weeks ago, protests Emma, though he is quick to say it was four weeks ago, and though she says that's not very long, he feels it is long enough. She reckons it's brilliant for his socials, but he isn't sure: he just feels sort of cringe. When she asks why he speculates that it may be because it's too much: too much praise. She agrees not to go on about it if he feels like that, but just wants to say one thing: she was really worried about him, before, because he seemed like he was going down the wrong path, and she doesn't like being critical of her kids because she thinks it's much better to be a supportive, positive parent, but the truth is, she was scared, scared of who he was becoming and what was going to happen next, but now she knows: that was just a phase, and this is the real him, this brilliant, heroic boy.

Vince is now thinking about doing a bit of detective work tonight, because he wants to get whoever it was that Jason was selling on to, whoever it was who got him into this in the first place. He doesn't reckon the police have time to check every white van in every pub car-park in Felpersham. Freddie points out it's not every pub: Jason gave three or four names. [They need to make up their minds about this: if Jason was selling on to someone in a white van, he wouldn't know what pubs it ended up in. If he was selling on to pubs, why the man in the white van at all? Chris.] Vince has more recent information: he was talking about it with a mate and and apparently there is someone regularly selling knocked off stuff from the car-park at the back of Wolves, which wasn't on Jason's list. Freddie comments that is a horrible pub. Vince is going there tonight, and Freddie at once says he will come with him. Vince tries to forbid it, but Freddie is determined; when Freddie asks what the risk is he tells him the risk is that someone might realise he's involved. At the moment no-one knows anything about him; not Jason, or anyone else higher up the food chain. Freddie reassuringly says they are only going to drive to four pubs and take a look at a car-park; he overrides Vince's protest to add that they should go in his car, because Vince's is too flash. Vince, sounding almost frightened [which is absurd. Chris] admits he hadn't thought of that, and Freddie says triumphantly that he needs Freddie.

Emma enthuses about Linda's imminent extravaganza; George is not interested. Ed comes into the garden with a couple of bits of good news: he and Emma have had an offer of some work from Hank Grucock, starting next Monday. This makes Emma crow with delight and reassure him that saying yes was OK. George doesn't understand: who is Hank Grucock? When he is told that this person with a name like a country singer (according to Emma) is a tree-surgeon, he asks why they need to work for someone else and is told that was what they were advised to do when they were on their course: they recommend you get some experience under your belt with someone who's been doing it for years. It's worth it for learning the business. They drink to having a future. Emma mentions that she saw Lilian in the village this morning, and makes this an opportunity to be unpleasant about Alice, whom she has disliked for may years. She wonders if Lilian will sack Alice from The Stables: she doesn't see how she can keep her on even if Alice is her niece. George objects that she hasn't done anything wrong at The Stables, but Ed reckons that depends if she was drinking on the job. Chris told him they are completely locked down at the moment because of the illness going round the horses, which George at once asserts can't be Alice's fault; Ed disagrees and says it easily could be. Emma rejoices that if she gets fired for negligence there would be a sort of karma to that; George asks why and Ed explains that she nearly got him sacked from Home Farm; George doesn't remember that. Ed claims he was getting the blame for all her mistakes [or to put it another way, when he was a temporary worker there he once got the blame for one mistake she made, and was sacked for it; she got him reinstated as a temporary worker by owning up to Brian. Chris] but no-one knew she was hitting the bottle back then. Emma adds that she has been nothing but trouble for Emma's brother. George thought he and Alice used to be happy; Ed isn't sure how happy they really were, but George is certain that Uncle Chris always seemed mad on her. When Emma sighs that he's not any more, George asks whether she is sure about that, and Emma tells him to trust her: if Chris had any feelings left this whole thing will have killed them right off. [Chris and Alice will be back together within the year, after that certainty. Irony, innit. Chris.] The Aldridges thought they were so much better than the Grundys, she says with deep satisfaction, and look how things have turned out. Chris has been an absolutely lovely dad, and what has Alice been? George asks whether she doesn't love Martha, and Ed says that of course she does, and George adds that even Mum said she was a good mother; Ed points out that is when she is sober, and Emma says that she was perfectly willing to give her that second chance, they all were, but now! After drink driving, says the squeaky-clean Ed [who never crashed someone else's car hem hem, nor put Alice's life at risk by his dangerous driving through the village when twoccing, either. Chris] , while Emma adds risking all those lives, including George's. George says she cant help it: don't they say it's like a disease? Ed is incredulous: she can't help getting in a car completely smashed? Emma indignantly reminds him that he could have died trying to rescue all them people ... she can't think about it, she gets too angry. Ed says it's good of George to defend Alice, and very mature, but Emma isn't letting it go: honestly, she's not worth it. George says that he just feels a bit sorry for her.

Vince is disparaging about Freddie's car, but Freddie isn't bothered: he likes it, rattle and all. Vince just doesn't want to break down on one of these country lanes and miss the meat-man. Freddie reassures him: he's just had it MOT'd. Vince is still worried about Elizabeth hearing what they've been doing; Freddie must make it very clear that he volunteered and Vince didn't pressure him into it: he can do without anything going wrong for him and Freddie's mother. Freddie remarks that it's his dad's birthday on Saturday, which Vince had remembered because it's important to Elizabeth and to Freddie and Lily, he adds as an afterthought. When he asks how old Nigel would have been, Freddie works out he would have been sixty-five and muses on the age-gap between Nigel and Elizabeth. Tentatively, Vince asks whether Freddie thinks Nigel would have liked him; Freddie considers the matter than says that he thinks he would but he would have had to get to know him: Vince is not immediately likeable, but then he sort of gets better. Vince snorts: why did he even ask?

Ed's second bit of good news is thanks to George: Bartleby's been asked to lead the County Show livestock parade on Sunday. As he and Emma are gloating about this and George is disclaiming, Ed's phone gets a message, and he tells Emma to look at her emails: it's Rebecca wossername from the Echo who has emailed them. She wants to interview George about the accident. George tells them that he knows that and has already refused; Ed is incredulous, so George repeats that she's already asked him once and he said no. Now she is probably hoping they will persuade him. Ed doesn't see why he doesn't want to be interviewed, but Emma tells him George has had enough of the attention, and, when Ed goes on being bemused and George starts to get upset, offers to email her back and tell her to leave it. Ed doesn't get it, and Emma quietly tells him to leave it .

At the Wolves car-park Vince has recognised Markie, and when Freddie doesn't know who that is, tells him that's the one who deliberately set his dog on Kenton and intimidated Jolene and scared her half to death. Freddie knew nothing about this, and Vince assures him Markie is a nasty piece of work. What they do now is take the number plate and take some photos, then take it to the police. Freddie doesn't think that is enough and suggests that he could go and buy something. Vince tells him that's a 'no', but Freddie thinks he could even have a little chat with him and try to find out his supplier; he's got the cash on him. Does Vince really want to miss this chance? Vince definitely does: these are dangerous people, he tells him. Freddie ignores this, and gets out of the car saying that he's only buying meat-balls, with Vince protesting: 'oh, for crying out loud!'

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 6th June, 2024

Death, heartbreak and tragic waste, but the hair-dos are lovely.

Characters: Chelsea, Ben, Lynda, Robert, Fallon, Joy, Harrison
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Wearing Robert's father's uniform, which fits him surprisingly well, Ben looks like he's time-travelled from 1944, according to Chelsea. Ben has exciting news to impart: Vince and Freddie discovered last night that the stolen meat buyer is the same man who was responsible for the dog attack on Kenton. The two congratulate themselves on having played their parts in the story. As they are about to part, amid mutual congratulation on looking great, Ben inquires diffidently whether Chelsea is really OK doing this thing with him, and she points out it's a bit late if she isn't; he knows, and meant to ask her before, but there wasn't really a good moment. She realistically says she wouldn't be doing it if she were not OK with it, then in turn asks if he is OK, which he is.

Like Chelsea, Lynda thinks Ben looks wonderful in uniform; Robert agrees with her. Lynda is distressed that it's still going on: young men dying every single day, and not just young men but women and children. [This may be the closest we get this year to a political comment. We are however spoilt for choice about where she might mean. Chris.] Fallon sends a message to say she is running a tad late, and the two Snells move on to finish last-minute preparations. Robert starts to pin up some pictures of the actual landings, and wonders what happened next to all the men in them.

Chelsea's hair-do for Fallon is fine, and she reckons she looks just like the photo of Great-Aunt Connie; Chelsea tells her this look does really suit her. Fallon just thinks it suits everyone, but Chelsea informs her Harrison is going to think it wonderful and that one day she wants someone to look at her the way Harrison looks at Fallon, and she's not saying that because it's lovely, as Fallon seems to suggest, but because it's true; and it sounds pathetic and she doesn't mean it to, but no-one ever has looked at her like that. Fallon is sure they have, but Chelsea doesn't think so and that's fine but she does want it to happen one day. Fallon hastens to reassure her that it will happen, it totally will, because she is great and gorgeous. She then asks if it is a bit weird for Chelsea doing the play with Ben, and Chelsea confides that she and Ben did just talk about 'it' and hadn't since Chelsea had the, well, you know. What's weird for her is that everyone knows something that should have been completely private [and would have been if you hadn't been such a havering little fool. Chris]; Fallon knows that feeling. But to answer Fallon's question, Chelsea goes on, it's strange, but doing the play has actually been good for them. Lynda was a bit nervous about asking; Fallon is surprised that she did. Chelsea thinks it's been lovely, and almost, well, healing, if that doesn't sound stupid. Fallon starts weeping as she says it doesn't sound stupid, that's amazing, and lovely. Nervously Chelsea enquires if she is OK; Fallon assures her that she is; she doesn't know what's wrong with her at the moment [nearly drowning does have an upsetting effect quite often, and having a husband who doesn't seem to care about your nearly having died can't help. Chris] but she keeps crying. She did the same thing in front of Lynda, but she is fine, she's really fine.

Late-arriving Emma had to cover for Fallon at the tea-room, and when she does get to Ambridge Hall Joy tells her she has missed some good stuff. Robert did a fantastic talk on the landings themselves and there has been a Lindy Hop on the lawn. Emma can't believe Lynda organised all this in a single week [nor can anyone else, listeners included. Chris] and thinks she is a force of nature. Joy suggests they could have used her for planning D-Day itself. Chelsea has done Joy's hair and make-up, and Emma thinks she looks completely brilliant, and it would be a good look for the shop. Mick is not with her because he is at Grey Gables tonight, on security not on reception. Emma had not heard about that debacle, and Joy confides that it was a mix-up on the rota and he didn't enjoy it much. Also some people aren't happy about him having his motor-home parked in the staff car-park; Emma regards this as typical Archers behaviour (even though no actual Archer has anything to do with it at all) but adds that she knows Lily (whose name was not mentioned by Joy, but Emma clearly assumes it was her) is half Pargetter. Harrison then wanders over extolling the whole event; he wants to know how come there's all these people wandering around looking like it's the nineteen forties [thus demonstrating that he really is as dim as a Toc H lamp. Chris] because he didn't know they had to dress up; Joy kindly informs him they didn't have to and it's just for fun, which seems to surprise him. Emma kindly suggests he can dress up for the next one, and Joy recalls that she remembers the one in 1984 when Emma and Harrison won't even have been born. Emma retorts that she was, in August, and Joy says that she only just missed it then, while Harrison says eighty-five for him, missed it completely. Joy can't really believe that in eighty-four it was only forty years after the D-Day landings had actually happened, and now they are another forty years on it's shocking to her that they used to be that close. Luckily for everyone's sanity Lynda then makes a speech, telling everyone they have missed the Nursing Demonstration, and announcing the Playlet.

[Over which I intend to draw a merciful veil, pausing only to say that Madeleine Leslay, Joanna Van Kampen and Ben Norris did an excellent job of acting amateurs acting woodenly without it being actually unbelievable. Chris.]

When it is over the audience applaud, and Emma and Joy want to have it confirmed that it really happened, the soldier was killed the day before his leave to go and get married, and his bride-to-be only found out the night before the wedding. They agree it was sad.

Harrison finds Fallon and tells her it was beautiful, and she looks insanely beautiful. She tells him she doesn't know what she'd do if he died, she doesn't know how she'd live; he assures her he's not planning on dying, and she reminds him they never know what might happen: look what happened to her, she nearly did die. She starts to cry, and he promises he is not going to die for a very long time, not for fifty-three years.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 7th June, 2024

Lilian spoke too soon, and Harrison talks too much.

Characters: Fallon, Harrison, Lilian, Jakob, Kenton, Oliver
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

When they are wakened by a maddening alarm-clock, Fallon and Harrison are in the same bed but we are given to understand that they shared it chastely. They both slept well. Harrison enthrals us all by recounting his dream, which included Fallon with her hair as dressed by Chelsea, but married to someone without a face even though she still loved Harrison and he loved her. Fallon humours him. When he announces that he liked Fallon with that hair style she says Chelsea said he would.

The clouds continue to gather over Lilian and The Stables: Jakob has found another two horses, Marigold and Lucky Boy, displaying possible symptoms, and he is sending off for yet more tests. He assures her they are very mild symptoms and if they treat them promptly... He breaks off to ask if Lilian is all right, and she tells him she just wants to cry, which he at once tells her seems like a reasonable response. It doesn't to her: she hasn't cried once since the whole business began and she doesn't need sarcasm from him! He was being serious, and she apologises for having thought he was telling her to snap out of it; he wants to know how she can 'snap out of it' with everything else that's going on: this is a crisis. She thanks him for understanding, and he suggests that perhaps she really should cry: it might make her feel better. Kate says crying cleanses her aura, which is obviously ridiculous, but it must help somehow because afterwards she definitely does feel better, or at least she is much nicer to him. One of the things upsetting Lilian is that Justin has said that they were clearly very wrong to trust Alice, that family loyalty oughtn't to be taken too far, and that Lilian was a fool to think that this whole nightmare wasn't connected to Alice's drinking. Jakob feels that is not a nice thing to say. Lilian adds that he has a damn nerve saying it because at one point he was the one who was persuading Lilian that it was a terrific idea to hire her. [This is true: when the idea was first mooted by Shula, Lilian was dead set against it. Chris.] Jakob suggests that his aura probably needs cleansing, which makes Lilian laugh. She does admit that Justin isn't nice; it's just not his style unless he wants something or it's an emergency. Jakob indignantly says that this is an emergency, and Justin is being incredibly unfair on Alice. Lilian is stuck, though: she can't defend Alice when people keep saying it is her fault, because she doesn't know for certain that it wasn't. When even her beloved partner says it, it's hard not to believe they are right.

Harrison has ambled over to The Bull, where he wants to speak to Jolene; Kenton tells him she has gone into Borchester to have her hair done, so he gives Kenton the good news instead: Markie has been arrested for receiving stolen goods. [Oh dear; I do hope Inspector Norris has authorised this latest example of Harrison blowing his yap about his job to his relations, especially since he was taken off that case. Chris] He has been selling stuff out of several vans, including stuff from Casey Meats, but when the police searched his place they found a ton of other stuff. He's currently sitting in the police cells. Kenton chortles, and Harrison explains that although it isn't to do with the dog attack they can probably put him away for this alone, and on his previous Harrison is not convinced he'll get bail. Kenton is delighted, and thanks Harrison profusely; Harrison disclaims [which he certainly should, since it had frod all to do with him. Chris] but adds that they will get Markie for the dog attack, Kenton is not to worry about that.

When Oliver rings to find out how things are at The Stables, Lilian knows he has called to ask about Duke; Jakob is with the horse and she can ask him to ring Oliver back if he would like. She is so sorry; she doesn't know what to say. Oliver tells her that it's not just her: he is exhausted because with Roy away there is so much more work. Also, if he's honest he's feeling rather sad about Duke; the horse is not getting any younger but he'd hate to lose him. Lilian affirms that she doesn't think it will come to that, and she'll call him as soon as she can; Oliver calls her as she seems about to ring off and says that she knows 'us country people' aren't supposed to get too attached to animals, and she feeds him some flannel about animals being a lifeline that holds one to the real world; they will do everything they can for Duke. Oliver understands, and will let her get on. He knows she is not personally to blame, and Jakob says they have simply been incredibly unlucky: these things happen. Lilian confesses that she can't find the paperwork [which has nothing to do with anything. Chris]; Oliver clearly has no idea why she feels the need to say this, or to tell him that if that is the case then The Stables is at fault and he could easily say she is personally at fault for trusting Alice in the first place.

Kenton asks Harrison how things are with him and Fallon, then adds that Harrison can tell him to get lost or that it's none of his business; Harrison claims it is Kenton's business since Fallon is his daughter, well, step-daughter and he wants to know if they're OK, of course he does. He can't lie, it's been the worst time he's ever had, and when Fallon was staying at The Bull that was probably the lowest point. Kenton apparently wanted to say to him then that they weren't taking any sides, and Harrison, who didn't think they were, thanks him for saying that; Kenton also feels it is important to tell him that he and Jolene really care about him, and Jolene thinks the world of him, and if Fallon's like a daughter to him, then Harrison really is like a son. Harrison is touched: that means a lot.

A triumphant Lilian now rings Oliver to tell him that she has found the missing paperwork; he isn't particularly interested but doesn't stop her from rabbiting on about what a good friend he is and how she would do anything not to jeopardise that. It's just that this wasn't Alice's fault, and when Cinnamon arrived he had a clean bill of health. Oliver's feeling is that when this crisis is passed she needs to investigate how this happened and make sure it never happens again. [And while she is at it, she needs to make sure nobody she knows ever catches 'flu again, I suppose. Chris.]

Harrison has been called out to a minor collision and then altercation just outside the village, and comes to find Fallon, who is happy they are able to have normal conversations again, and asks him if he's just been at The Bull; he tells her was because it was a chance to tell Kenton and Jolene the good news rather than just giving them a ring. Fallon asks if they were thrilled and Harrison says Kenton was, but her mum wasn't there because she had gone into town, which when she thinks about it Fallon did know because Jolene did say. Harrison had better get back, anyway, so Fallon thanks him again for being there for them; she knows she shouldn't say this, but she feels like things are on the up. So does Harrison, absolutely. She tells him she will let him go, and he asks for a kiss goodbye, which she duly delivers. He then says that he is pretty thrilled that they'll probably get Markie banged up, with which Fallon heartily agrees, and he adds that it's very satisfying seeing justice being done for once. Fallon hopes it happens more often than once in his line of work, which he concedes but says it's never often enough, especially when it's someone you love that's been ... She knows what he's saying. She sighs resignedly: yes, she does know what he's saying and let's not go there, OK? Reluctantly he admits she is right, and leaves saying he will see her tonight.

Jakob is worried about Duke, who has more lumps appearing on his lymph nodes and is running a temperature. Lilian tells him she told Oliver that Jakob would call him: she hopes that's all right, and Jakob assures her that of course it is. She and Oliver have had a couple of difficult conversations already this morning and she thinks he'd rather speak to Jakob than to her, which Jakob understands. She told Oliver about the missing paperwork; Jakob wonders why, and Lilian goes on to say it gets worse: better and then worse too. Practically a minute later she found it, and called Oliver back straight away thinking that he'd be consoled, but he sounded more miserable than ever. Jakob definitely thinks it good news that she has found it, very good news, and Lilian begs him to reassure her that Duke will be all right; Jakob doesn't know that he will, and is sorry but cannot make her or Oliver any promises.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 9th June, 2024

Bartleby makes a hit, Ed and Emma make some money, and Harrison broods.

Characters: Alan, Harrison, Ed, Emma, Will
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Julie Beckett
Editor: Jeremy Howe

After the Sunday service Harrison approaches Alan and when he has said the obligatory 'good sermon' congratulates him in a low and wondering tone on the the way he 'wove in all those D-Day references'. The two men speak for a little about the sacrifice made by the young on the beaches, and then about Roy being in Bulgaria and having a nice time there, before Alan asks how Harrison is doing. Harrison asserts that he and Fallon are doing better than for a while now, which Alan is glad to hear: he'd hoped they'd find some resolution. [An interesting choice of word, given its two possible meanings. Chris.] Since Harrison is now tongue-tied, Alan suggests that he might want to come and chat for a bit.

At the Borchester Show, Ed and Emma are gloating about Bartleby being there in a celebrity VIP enclosure, though he and George are looking singularly gloomy about it all. Will provides flyers and business cards for 'Little Grange Tree Surgery', which Ed says has a classy ring to it and Will says is better than 'Em and Ed's', which sounds like a couple of party clowns; Ed at once ripostes it was nearly as bad as 'Ultimate Arboriculture', and Emma intervenes to head off a possible row. They are to take a bundle each and give some to George, since he and Bartleby are going to attract a lot of attention. As Will is explaining how to distribute flyers, Ed's phone rings, and he answers it with 'Hello, Little Grange Tree Surgery, how can I help?'

Flatly, Harrison tells Alan that basically he's fine, and he and Fallon sorted a few things out last week and basically they're good, only there's still some sort of feeling in him that's not gone away, he wakes up in the night and it's there, like it's waiting for him. Alan is all sympathy and asks if he can talk to Fallon about it, but Harrison doesn't think he can. It hasn't helped so far when they've tried talking, and he doesn't want to rock the boat when they're kind of OK: he doesn't want to make things worse again. Alan suggests that maybe he has to let things get a bit worse before he can put them right again, but Harrison doesn't want to risk losing Fallon. They get on fine if they don't talk about it. Alan asks him what he can do. The idea of doing something seems to come as a novel thought to Harrison, and Alan explains that he has a problem with his feelings and he can't talk to Fallon, so he should do something else. Something practical, even if it is only a small thing, might just help. Harrison Eeyores his way to saying 'I don't know', but then remembers that he has done something quite big, actually: following the instructions on a leaflet they were given when Fallon left the hospital, he has applied for a baby loss certificate. Alan greets this with relief and enthusiasm, and suggests something else he might consider: the Church of England has a service for the loss of unborn babies, and that might help. Harrison concedes in a lacklustre way that it might, and Alan says encouragingly that he doesn't have to decide now, just give it some thought; but whatever he does, please try and share it with Fallon.

The person on the phone was 'nothing to worry about', according to Ed, but when Emma clearly takes this as cause to worry he tells her it was Hank Grucock to say a tree has come down near the bridge just as they were about to open the road after all the work fixing the bridge, and the tree has blocked it. Hank is in charge of clearing the tree and getting things going again, he's tried a few contacts who couldn't do it, and worked down the list to Ed and Emma, offering twice the daily rate; it's a case of who can and when. Emma is gutted: they are stuck at the show, and that's a commitment, they gave their word. Ed sets out to talk her round, and succeeds in getting her to agree they could just leave their flyers with George and then message Will from the car to say what they were doing. She tells him to give Hank a call, and he tells her that he has already said they'll do it; he just wanted to be sure it was her decision as well.

A much more cheerful Harrison rings Alan after the cricket match at Paxley, which they won. He really enjoyed it, for the first time in a good long while, and attributes this to what Alan said about doing something, even if it is only small. Alan is pleased that he is taking steps, even if they are small ones. Harrison has rung about that service: he thinks it might help. Alan will find out what he can, and talk Harrison through it; can he call round on Wednesday morning? Harrison can, but is surprised when Alan asks 'both?' Alan explains that he could then talk to him and Fallon so that they are both in the picture even if Fallon doesn't want to be involved. Harrison needs to think about that one. and will definitely let Alan know if she's not going to be there on Wednesday.

Ed and Emma are giggling together in The Bull about the wonderful day they've had doing 'our best booking so far' [for which read, only booking so far. Chris]; Ed reckons that after today they could think of getting Emma a little van, since they won't always be working together. They can put down a deposit of say fifteen hundred pounds out of Will's money. Emma agrees that they can easily manage monthly repayments if they get more days like today. As the two of them chink their glasses in a toast to themselves Will comes up and Ed at once offers him a drink, then starts to tell him about the brilliant time they've had. Emma claims that with all the kit on, it felt like Ghostbusters, then asks Will how the show was after they left. It wasn't fantastic, it seems; very few people were remotely interested in the flyers, and he had to work three times harder then he thought he was going to have to. George couldn't give him a hand because he had people round Bartleby all day, and that's not going anywhere in terms of hard cash, is it. And the pony was crabby the whole time, apart from to one horsey woman from Shropshire or Herefordshire or somewhere who kept coming back to see him and thought he was a real star: he stopped being grumpy whenever she turned up. Ed remarks that at least he was a success, and that's something for Will to take from the day, and Emma talks of Bartleby's number one fan, but Will reminds her that it isn't going to do them any good: however many fans he's got, Bartleby is costing them more than he's ever going to make.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 10th June, 2024

Duke is no better, he is much the same; this is also true of Lily.

Characters: Josh, Lily, Lilian, Oliver, Paul
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Julie Beckett
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Most uncharacteristically, Lily is showing no interest to speak of in anything Josh says or has been doing. They are sitting in the garden outside The Stables' house in the sun, and he tells her that Harrison was very pleased all yesterday afternoon at the cricket match; she tells him Paul has had another message from Denise on her holiday, with a picture of her on the beach with a tall drink to hand; Josh reckons Paul won't like that. Lily says they are well off where they are in Ambridge in the sun, relaxing and fancy free; Josh remarks that Paul is not fancy free but the opposite, with Etienne in tow, dull Etienne. Lily sees what he means so dull! And so proud to be dull, adds Josh. Lily has decided to be free from now on: her course is over for the year, she has almost certainly passed, her placement at Grey Gables ends soon, and that will be it, work over. She speaks of it being the start of her 'hot girl summer'; Josh very considerately does not laugh at her for that.

Yet again, Lilian is giving Oliver a progress report on Duke; she tells him Paul is looking the horse over, Jakob being out of county at a conference. Paul is acting on Jakob's advice and has been thoroughly briefed, and can ring Alistair at any time if need be. Oliver is not terribly impressed but accepts this, only asking her to let him know as soon as there is anything to report. He then rings off, leaving her and Paul with Duke, whose breathing is laboured. Paul doesn't think it's going to be a positive assessment, since Duke is struggling, and the lumps on his lymph nodes have developed into abscesses. Jakob has advised Lilian to apply warm poultices to encourage them to burst, and when Paul offers to help her with that she thanks him but thinks she can manage; he's a patient old soul and they keep a constant watch on him. The information that Mia will be coming in later in the week and that will relieve the pressure on the rest of them alarms Paul: he thinks it would be better if she doesn't do that. He knows she'd follow the protocols but they really ought to keep the team down to a minimum to help prevent the spread. Lilian realises that is obvious, really, and castigates herself for not having managed the situation very well; Paul disagrees, calling that 'nonsense' and telling her not to be daft, but she is in no mood to spare herself: she wouldn't blame Oliver if he held her entirely responsible for the whole disaster. Paul thinks that unlikely, but does admit that, while they are all doing all they can, there is no guarantee Duke will pull through. He offers to be the one who has a word with Oliver to tell him this [which he has already been told by Jakob, dammit. Gus] but Lilian is determined that it is her job to do, and she must do it face to face.

Although the sun is still out, Lily is off to a spin class at Grey Gables, she tries to bully Josh into wanting to go with her, but he is not interested. Her rudeness about his lack of fitness and his wearing overalls for his work with the chickens which get covered in chicken crap, and her telling him he really should try looking a bit sharper, quite fail to convince him that he wants to go to the gym with her. As he tells her that the whole business of going to work out on a bike that goes nowhere is completely pointless, Paul gets home and butts in, wanting to know what is completely pointless; Josh says 'spinning is' and Lily asserts that any kind of movement is, according to Josh. Paul says he will come with her if Lily is going for a spin; she gives a delighted squeak of 'great!' and hails him as a man with some common sense; he doesn't know about that but he needs something to take his mind off today, and he will come back completely perked up. The start of his hot boy summer, Lily mentions complacently.

What Lilian is really saying is that this bout of strangles has hit Duke pretty hard, harder than they thought it might, and she's afraid they can't be completely sure at this stage that he'll come through. Oliver accepts this and thanks her, though he doesn't mind admitting he was hoping for better news. Lilian is rueful: they all were, but it's best to be honest. Oliver quite agrees: he doesn't want false hope, which helps no-one. He adds that these things happen and that Duke wasn't going to go on forever. Lilian assures him they will continue to do everything they can for the horse. Oliver then apologises for having been a bit snappy with her last week; she disclaims, he explains, she asks him not to worry and in her turn suggests that he would be within his rights to tear her off a strip because she is losing her grip and this has happened on her watch. He ends up denying all her self-accusations, and comforting her. He knows exactly how she feels: he felt the same at times about Grey Gables, but they have mostly come through, and so with The Stables. He gives her a pep talk to the effect 'we cope'. She tells him she was braced for him to shout at her over Duke, and he wonders what the point would be of that when it wouldn't make him feel any better. She claims not to be a flimsy woman but really quite robust; but all this understanding and sympathy, honestly, she could weep. He asks her please not to, because he really couldn't cope with that, and she laughs a little tearfully.

The spin session has left Paul and Lily quite helpless with laughter over the behaviour of the man Josh described as 'Sergeant Major Fitbit', according to Lily; Paul corrects this to Coach Fitbit, because he constantly referred to himself in the third person as Coach. As Lily does bad impressions of the man, Paul's phone tings for a message; it is from Etienne, and when Paul seems a little shocked Lily asks if he needs a minute; he says no, and then that he is not sure, then reads out the message: 'Hi Paul, I've been thinking it might be a good thing and the right sort of time for us to open up the relationship.' Lily repeats 'open up the relationship?' in puzzlement, and asks what he means by that; at first Paul thinks probably exactly what he says, that he wants to include other people. Lily wonders how Paul would feel about that, and Paul definitely doesn't know: he wasn't expecting this. She says he should talk to Etienne, and Paul agrees; she suggests that maybe it's just a passing thought, nothing serious, but Paul is inclined to think the worst: maybe this is Etienne talking about what he actually wants to happen. When Lily expresses confusion, Paul explains that he thinks Etienne might be saying it's time to include other people in this relationship and to exclude Paul.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 11th June, 2024

When is a Grundy like a script writer? When he is flogging an almost-dead horse.

Characters: Lily, Josh, Paul, Emma, George, Ed, Lilian
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Julie Beckett
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Lily criticises Josh because she thought he'd already had breakfast – he did, at six in the morning – and because he is wearing 'chicken crap overalls' (which were clean on this morning) and demands social distancing. When asked, Josh says he noticed that Paul was a bit down last night, and Lily apparently heard him crying in his room over the possible end of him and Etienne, which Josh thinks would be a good thing. Lily is scandalised: that's a heartless thing to say. Josh reminds her that this is dull Etienne, so it's not heartless: they all know Paul would be better off without him. She changes tack and says that Paul is hurt, obviously, and they ought to do something. However, when Josh asks 'like what?' she has no ready answer but suggests asking him about it in one way and another; Josh thinks that if he is feeling down, asking intrusive questions might just trigger more (unspecified) and set him off again. Keeping their distance would be better; Paul knows they're there and he knows he can call on them whenever he wants. Lily grants the point, but reluctantly, just as Paul droops into the kitchen demanding suspiciously to know what's going on: he hears them talking, he comes in, they stop... Lily claims they were talking about the bridge and how it being up and working again makes it so much easier to get around now.

Breakfast at Little Grange is initially less critical and more cheerful: George being there early surprises Emma and makes Ed assume he wants something. He says that on the contrary, he is there because of something they want. They clearly don't believe him, and he explains: remember the horsey woman who kept coming back to see him on Sunday? This woman, Meg Mellor, really took to Bartleby. Emma interrupts to ask if George gave her a leaflet, and she and Ed go off at a tangent, leading George to say it has nothing to do with trees and telling them to listen to him: she's coming to Grange Farm. Emma wants to know why, and Ed immediately takes exception to her obviously thinking she can just roll up there whenever she fancies to see a cute pony [which makes her different from all the Eddie-inspired Bartleby-fanciers how exactly? Ed has never objected to those. Chris]; George tells him not to blame 'Meg' over this, but Ed just complains that she asked herself over and thinks that's OK, which George is forced to counter by saying that he invited her. Ed and Emma are both startled by this, and Emma asks 'why' again: she doesn't get this, he asked some complete stranger to come there and see Bartleby? What for? George says bitterly that this is typical of them: get a commercial opportunity staring them in the face and they just can't see it. They continue to mock and jeer [for no readily apparent reason. Chris] at his every suggestion, with Emma laughing nastily at him, though Ed eventually concedes that he might have a point. Emma wants to know when 'this Meg woman' (as she so charmingly puts it) is coming, and George tells her that's why he's bringing them in on it: she's coming in the early afternoon today and he may not be back from Bridge Farm in time to meet her: he needs them to message him as soon as she arrives. Emma's caveat is that she is due at the tea-room then, but George says she doesn't have to do anything: leave it all to him.

Having gone over to the surgery for the purpose, Lilian explains to Paul that Oliver was completely understanding, which Paul had thought he might be, and how it was a bit unnerving. Paul asks in a subdued way how Duke is this morning, and, when told the horse is no better but no worse, says that he will write it all up for Jakob. His lack of enthusiasm seems to take Lilian aback, and she says she will leave him to it.

Her next act is to stop Josh on his way to his chickens and ask him about Paul, whose very obvious, not to say ostentatious, depression has got through to her, and whether something is wrong: he wasn't himself, he was very down in the mouth, and she just wondered if Josh knew anything. After initially doing as he should and saying that it's a private and personal thing, Josh then tells her that it's not that Paul is unwell, as she'd suspected, but that it's relationships really, and proceeds to give her the low-down about the text Etienne (whom Lilian has heard of as 'the dull one') sent and how Paul is a bit emotional about it. Lilian is utterly sympathetic, and thinks it so good he has Josh and Lily as housemates to shore him up. This view of them startles Josh, especially when she tells him they are there for him when he's feeling so wretched and that it will make all the difference.

George is upset to learn that Meg Mellor arrived early, and Emma took her to see Bartleby in his absence. Emma says they got on quite well and Meg had kind eyes. He thinks it is a disaster, particularly when Emma tells him that in the end she simply asked what Meg's agenda was.

As a result of Lilian's conversation with him, Josh tells Lily that he doesn't like seeing Paul like this: he is normally like a puppy, and he's not like himself at all. Lily reminds him that Paul only found out about Etienne yesterday, and it will take time to shrug it off, but Josh is now concerned that Paul may be too depressed to ask them for help, so he proposes that maybe they could be a bit more... 'actively compassionate?' suggests Lily... maybe they could reach out to him. What does Lily think?

At Little Grange Ed is being disparaging and unpleasant about 'this Mellor woman' [whom he has never so much as seen. Chris], saying that Emma didn't need to be civil to her and could have told her to sling her hook; George suggests that you don't tell people like Meg Mellor to sling her hook, though Emma says that sometimes you do, with some people, a view which Ed heartily applauds. He mutters about her inviting herself over there, which Emma at once says she didn't do although, as she was telling George, the woman did have an agenda. Ed just bets she did. To do with Bartleby, adds George. Oh yeah, and what was that then, sneers Ed; that's what they are trying to tell him, Emma continues: she wants to buy him. She has a retirement home for ex-racehorses and so on – veteran horses, chimes in George – and she says she knows poor old Bartleby's not really worth anything now but she's taken to him as a companion pony. She's offered to buy him. Ed is offering the same advice he offered before: tell her to sling her hook. He then goes off on one: What a nerve! Who does she think she is? Who does she think that they are? He's not daft even if the other two are! She pitches up on their land (Emma reminds him that it is Oliver's land) tells them he's not worth squit but she will graciously (George goads him by saying that she never said 'squit') take him off their hands. Well she can whistle! She can clear right off and whistle for him. Emma interrupts his diatribe: she'll give them fifteen hundred pounds for him. After a gobsmacked silence, Ed manages to utter the words 'How much?' [sounding remarkably like Scooby Doo as he does so. Gus.]

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 12th June, 2024

Stella is the victim of a cyber-attack, Fallon of crass insensitivity.

Characters: Pip, Stella, Kirsty, Fallon, Alan, Harrison
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Julie Beckett
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The possible sale of Bartleby is now common knowledge: 'Ben heard it from someone or other' and told Pip, who shares it with Stella. Unlike Pip, Stella finds the idea rather shocking: Pip's reaction is that it is big money for a bag of old bones, so no contest really. Stella calls her hard-hearted and ruthless, and wants to know why she is there; Pip says she has something Stella might be interested in and might find hard to resist: one canister of worming drench for the deer, which she said she would pick up from farm supplies. Stella assures her that it's not a bad job, out with the drench-gun: better than indoors with paperwork; Pip agrees that almost anything is better than that. Stella knows you just have to plod through and get it done: in fact that's her next task if Pip fancies coming back to the office for a coffee. Stella has to plan next quarter's work for BL, and there is likely to be a twenty-five per cent hit on the winter crop yields after the wet winter and spring. The oilseed rape is thriving, though, as a Pip points out, but when she asks about the spring-planted arable Stella says it is patchy, what with all the stress, sodden fields and stop-start planting. Pip reckons the Ambridge climate is definitely changing, and Stella comforts herself with the fact that the herbal leys she planted in March are flourishing, but their spring cereals could be down two ton a hectare. Right, she adds briskly, that coffee; and she wouldn't mind Pip's opinion on the paper she's writing for the BL board, the sustainability thing, if she doesn't mind looking at it on screen. She wants to know if it sounds too bossy; Pip can tell her that right now: she thinks it's bound to.

At the tea-room Kirsty is talking to Fallon about possible birthday celebrations for Fallon next week, but Fallon just wants to spend the day with just Harrison now things are a bit better between them: she wants to keep that going. Kirsty sighs: no wild night out, then. Fallon is sorry, but Kirsty tells her not to be: it's her birthday, after all. This interlude is interrupted by the arrival of Alan, who wants a latte to take away. The mention of Fallon's birthday leads him to think it might be today, and when corrected he says that of course Harrison would have mentioned that: he is on his way to see him now. Fallon is surprised, and then Alan is surprised in turn: it's about the order of service. After a bewildered attempt at explanation of that, Alan asks if Harrison has said nothing to her about it, and she looks at the paper he has with him and reads aloud 'Service for the loss of unborn baby'; she then says in a tightly controlled voice that Harrison has not said anything. Alan is so sorry; he thought she knew. He did ask Harrison. He then asks her to let him explain, and she says no, it's OK: she doesn't really want to talk about it. Kirsty suggests it might be worth a look, and Fallon asks incredulously whether she thinks so; Alan tries to explain that nothing has been settled and he and Harrison were just going to talk it through, and Fallon's indignation becomes clear: talk it through? Without saying anything to her? She doesn't believe this! Alan awkwardly thinks he'd better give the coffee a miss. He was on his way to see Harrison, but perhaps under the circumstances he'd better give that a miss too, until Fallon and Harrison have talked. He apologises to Fallon again, and beats a hasty retreat. Kirsty feels it's obvious that he thought Fallon knew about it, and Fallon asks stonily if that is supposed to make it all right, is it? Kirsty tries to excuse him, but Fallon isn't having it: Alan has nothing to do with this. Nothing. It's her business, no-one else's. How could Harrison do this to her?

Pip has talked her parents into giving her time off; they have said they can cover for her for the week she and Stella were talking of, a chance for a quick getaway somewhere before the harvest, just the two of them. Stella is delighted; that would be lovely. Her joy is a great deal more containable when Pip amends that to the three of them, and it is clear that Rosie is part of her plan; Stella changes the subject to the sustainability paper and starts to explain: Pip knows what they ought to do. They should commission an ecological survey of all the BL land; she starts to detail what should be included and Stella says it's a good idea. She starts too log on and Pip offers to go and make some coffee before reading it: Stella calls after her that she will put a note abut the survey straight into the document, and claim it was her idea all along. As she tries to log on, the computer starts to make strange noises, and she muses to herself that it doesn't usually do that.

Fallon is having it out with Harrison, and she is absolutely furious with him. Harrison tries to excuse himself by saying it was just going to be a private chat between him and Alan, to with Fallon retorts a private chat about her. Almost in tears Fallon tells him Alan turned up in the tea-room with a list of hymns and prayers and she had no idea what he was talking about. Harrison mutters that he is sorry, he was going to tell her. then why didn't he, she rages. And don't say he forgot, because people don't forget something like that. He tries to put in a word of self-justification and is ignored: her private business flung about in public, again! He tries to tell her it wasn't like that, but she is determined: it was about her, her body, and now he's holding a service that anyone can come to! Harrison tries to deny that, and is shouted over again: a service! In a church! That sounds pretty public to her. He says they were only talking about it as a possibility, but she just knows they weren't talking to her and wants to know why they didn't tell her. Harrison starts to make tearful excuses about putting it off and putting it off and in the end not being able to find the right time; Fallon tells him that's pathetic. He now tells her that it's complicated, and she says wearily that honestly, that is so pathetic. He can't find the right time, so she has to find out from someone else how he is feeling. His excuse is now that he knows that they agreed last week that they wouldn't talk about it any more and he was OK with that, he wails; well, he thought he was, and still everything keeps going round in his head and it it it's complicated. Fallon snarls that he set up a service without even mentioning it to her; in a voice of purplest melodrama he asks her to listen to him for a moment, please, and denies that he set up a service. Alan was coming round to talk about it, how it might work, to answer a few questions; Fallon breaks in again to tell him that she has no questions that Alan can possibly answer, and she is telling Harrison right now that she feels betrayed by this. After drawing a deep breath Harrison says that he never meant to, and she agrees: no, she knows what he never meant. Indignation overtakes her again: they both agreed about not talking, it wasn't just her. Did he not mean all that he said? Desperately he claims that he did; he knows how it must seem... As far as Fallon is concerned he just says one thing and then does something completely different. He is now trying to be sweetly reasonable: he has tried, he says emotionally, he's tried, but he can't turn the feelings off, he can't. He breathes deeply and says he doesn't know, then leaves the room shutting the door emphatically behind him. Fallon sniffs back her tears and rings Kirsty: what Kirsty was saying earlier about birthday celebrations? Fallon has changed her mind: she does want to go out with Kirsty and celebrate, and she doesn't want to wait until next week.

Stella is still tapping in frustration at the keyboard when Pip comes back with the coffees, and when Pip asks what she is muttering about says it won't load properly and she keeps getting these pop-ups; Pip takes one look and tells her very seriously to shut it down. It's a cyber attack. Stella protests that she has to get past all this stuff, but Pip tells her she can't: other farms have had these. Stella is aghast: all her planning is in there. Pip tells her it's a virus on her computer, shut it down. She has to disable the network. Now.

Alan is not pleased with Harrison; when he sighs that he knows, he should have told her, Alan reminds him quite sharply that he said he would. Harrison claims not remember, and then when Alan says it would have been useful to know that Fallon didn't know, says 'sorry' as if that solved anything. Alan tries hard not to be cross, and manages to say that a lot of this is down to communication, or lack of it. It helps if they can keep talking to one another. Harrison protests that they do, they talk all the time, only they can't talk about this. It's the one thing. In fact they sort of agreed not to. With a certain amount of apology for going on at him, Alan says it's not just the talking: there is a problem that is quite separate from that., and that is his own sense of loss and the sadness he feels about that, which is not being addressed and which Alan is guessing is hard to put into words. Harrison, crushed, mutters that he is feeling something but he doesn't know what it is; Alan tells him it is his own particular grief and he has to acknowledge that. Harrison complains that he knows Fallon doesn't feel anything like that, and Alan hastily says that he can see that; does Harrison mind if he makes a suggestion? What if instead of the service they were talking about, they could have a private time of prayer, just for Harrison. Private, repeats Harrison rather blankly: does he mean...? Just him and Alan, says Alan eagerly, in the church: a few prayers, and silence, a time of quiet; he thinks that might be helpful. And Fallon? asks Harrison; should he ask her, or ... He doesn't think for a moment she'd say yes, but should he give her the chance? Alan thinks maybe this should just be for Harrison, but he should definitely let her know about it, if he really thinks it is something he'd like to do. Harrison thinks it is, yeah.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 13th June, 2024

Bartleby's fate is decided, and Paul intends to go out on the lash.

Characters: Will, Emma, George, Pip, Stella, Oliver, Paul
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Julie Beckett
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Breakfast is being scrounged by Will and George; Emma has no intention of offering them more than toast. They are there to try to reach a decision about Bartleby's future: Meg Mellor wants to know if they have made up their minds yet, and Emma told her they would let her know by tonight. Will and Emma are not in agreement: he wants to sell, and she wants to keep him. George agrees with Emma, as (by report from Emma) does Clarrie; Eddie and Ed (also by report) agree with Will.

Stella has slept badly because she has been worrying about having exposed the Home Farm computer to malware, and blaming herself. Pip is more matter-of-fact: it has happened and it has to be dealt with. Stella beats herself up about having been warned by the NFU, who passed on information from the National Cyber Security Centre; she saw them but she still wasn't prepared. She has no idea what she did wrong: she keeps going through everything she did. Pip suggests she should stop that because at this stage it doesn't matter whether she did something wrong or not, though it does to Stella; there are things she ought to be doing to put this right. Has she phoned Justin? Because the BL board will have to know. She has; she also let Brian know, last night. Brian took it calmly, but Stella thinks that was because he didn't realise how big this is; Justin does, and he is not happy about it. Pip tells her to stop going over it and catasrophising, and suggests things she could be doing to put it right. Stella carries right on thinking up worst possible cases. Pip stops her and asks whether everything is saved onto the cloud; when the answer is yes, she suggests what can be done next. The phone then rings, and Stella doesn't want to answer it because it is Justin, so Pip does instead.

The three Grundys who were present over breakfast have gone to talk to Clarrie and Eddie about selling or not selling Bartleby, but since the two senior Grundys have gone into Borchester the three consult Oliver about what to do next: the votes for keeping and selling Bartleby seem to be a tie. He reminds them that Joe's will asked for Bartleby to be cared for, but that doesn't help since it's clear that the Grundys and Meg Mellor will both care for him. Oliver asks when they have to decide, then tentatively makes a suggestion: hold a secret ballot. This will include Jake and Mia, whom George describes as 'hangers on' but Oliver firmly says are part of the family, as well as Poppy and Keira. They are each to text Oliver by tea-time with a K for keep or an S for sell. Emma counts them up and realises that since that makes ten, it could still be a draw; they decide that Oliver (much against his will) is to have the casting vote in the event of another tie.

Josh is hanging about outside Paul's door , and when Lily catches him there, and quietly demands to know what he is doing, explains, in a loud whisper, that he is trying to hear whether Paul is all right. Just as he has announced he thinks he can hear muffled sobbing, Paul comes up behind them and asks if everything is all right, startling them considerably. As they gasp he asks if he can help them with anything, and Josh explains that they were wondering if he was all right. Paul is now surprised, and Lily takes up the explanation: they were worried, because they know it's been a difficult time these last couple of days. Josh mentions being dumped, and Paul objects that he hasn't been dumped, it's just that Etienne wants to make it a more open relationship. The other two go on insisting that he is not happy, which he admits, and Lily tells him that is what's worrying them, which he thinks is very sweet of them. Josh manages to put his foot in it about Etienne and an open relationship meaning that Paul could spend time with other people (which Paul doesn't want to do) and then again about Etienne being a tiny bit dull.

The conversation between Pip and Justin has led to a revelation: it was not Stella, but Brian, who has only just realised it was him. Stella's immediate reaction is to say 'Oh, poor Brian!' but Pip is less forgiving: she doesn't think he's too bothered about it. He opened an email, some sort of offer on tractor tyres too good to miss, he says, which Stella feels should have alerted him straight off; then he clicked on the link. Stella is greatly relieved that it wasn't her. So all she has to do is put everything in place to put things right, as Pip tells her; and Justin wanted to know if the insurance covers cyber attacks, which Stella thinks it does but will check, as well as changing all the passwords and alerting the Borchester NFU. She ought to be making a start:there's a lot to undo. Pip comforts her about it being a horrible thing to have happen; Stella is full of admiration for Pip's competence and calm.

Lily tactfully agrees with Josh that Etienne is a bit on the band side. 'Bland?' repeats Paul incredulously; Josh tells him not to sound so surprised when he must know Etienne is a bit boring. Paul indignantly denies that he does and wants to know why they've never said anything; Josh claims they didn't want to hurt him. But now, as Paul says, it's OK to hurt him when he's already been hurt! Josh is twisting the knife. And this has happened to Paul before, and it took him ages to get over it and learn to trust again. Josh wonders if Paul has ever thought he might be better off without Etienne. Paul is flabbergasted, but Josh is now angry on his behalf: he will put up with him being a bit uninteresting for Paul's sake, but using this open relationship to cheat on him is something else. He doesn't like it. Lily agrees, and adds they are only saying this because they care about Paul. Tentatively Josh asks if a hug would help, and Paul thinks it might. Lily starts to make a suggestion about the answer to this, and Josh cuts in with 'ditch him', but Paul doesn't want to just yet, and doesn't want to be bullied into doing anything he doesn't want; what he does want is to take Josh and Lily out, to thank them for being true mates. Tomorrow night, he says decisively.

All votes now being in, the Grundys are waiting for Oliver to stop faffing pretending to be a returning officer; he eventually gives up trying to do things properly, and announces there are ten votes, one of which was spoiled by being for 'W' (for 'whatever') instead of 'S' or 'K'. K got four votes, S got five; Oliver therefore declares that the Grundy family have voted to sell their old pony Bartleby

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 14th June, 2024


Fallon and Kirsty are drinking together; Harrison and Alan are praying together. Characters: Fallon, Kirsty, Harrison, Alan
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Julie Beckett
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Fallon has not told Harrison where they will be, and when Kirsty is a bit worried by this says that she doesn't think he would care that she is not watching a film with Kirsty and then staying over as he has been allowed by her to suppose: they haven't talked to each other for quite a while. The two women agree to have no agonised conversations, Fallon because she needs no more of them and Kirsty because she has had a bad week with the bloody-minded loud mouthed pigs (though Rex is back now) and wants a fret-free zone. She still has pig-fatigue to contend with. Fallon tries to play her own busy-week-card but Kirsty's is clearly superior, so she gives in. Kirsty tells her the 'real big news' of the week: the Grundys have voted whether to sell Bartleby, but nobody seems to be any the wiser. Kirsty proposes they talk about nothing work related, and Fallon adds 'or man related'.

Making much play with closing the church door behind him, Harrison has come to have his prayer evening with Alan. Alan has sent him some prayers for consideration, and Harrison is quite amenable to using them. Harrison now seems a bit shy, and asks if anyone is likely to come in; Alan reassures him that it is just them. He says this is private grief, just Harrison and him thinking about Harrison's loss. [Haven't you missed Someone out, Alan? God, I mean? And you a vicar. Chris.] When Harrison asks what comes next Alan tells him it isn't a service as such, just a time for prayer and meditation, and he suggests they move up to the chancel, where he will say the words of the prayers and leave pauses, and Harrison can think of the sound of their breathing, or perhaps of the wind in the tree outside, as wordless responses. If it feels right, Alan might ask him if he wants to add anything of his own, at the end, though Harrison can say no if he doesn't want to. Listlessly [everything Harrison says is said listlessly unless I specify otherwise. Chris] Harrison indicates that he is sure he'd like to say a word or two. He adds that he usually has plenty to say for himself so it seems appropriate. Alan wants be assured that Fallon does know what they are doing: Harrison said he'd tell her and Alan thinks she needs to know. No, Harrison hasn't told her, which he justifies by saying that talking to her about this almost always leads to a row, and he doesn't want what they are about to do marred by angry words; he wants to keep it clean, and simple, and unspoiled. Since he starts to gulp and be overtly emotional at this point, Alan distracts him by encouraging him to make his way towards the chancel.

It has taken Fallon a long time to get drinks, mostly because she has run into and been talked at by Paul, who has been telling her the story of his Betrayal; Fallon is sure he wouldn't mind her telling Kirsty, because he had to shout to make himself heard so half the people in there know all about it now anyway. It was rather too complicated for Fallon to be sure she has properly understood it but she has gathered that what Etienne is suggesting, that he can see other people, is not what Paul wants. Kirsty grasps that is what has upset him, and Fallon says it would upset her too, especially if you've made promises to each other. So now he's out with Lily and Josh so they can cheer him up. It's good to have mates, Fallon muses; doesn't Kirsty agree, people to look out for you. Kirsty is glad Paul has got them, and Fallon gushes that she's glad she's got Kirsty. She now remembers that Paul said he and his mates were going on to a club, and invited her and Kirsty to join them, wasn't that sweet? Both women favour the idea.

In a dim religious voice and with a background of birdsong [as if they were in the orchard rather than the church. Chris] Alan is reading out prayers for Harrison's benefit, but does at least petition God in relation to the whole business. After both men have said 'amen' Alan invites Harrison to say a few words, but Harrison feels unable to do so. Alan tells him not to worry; perhaps silence is enough. He will leave Harrison there alone for a while: he is to take as long as he likes.

It is loud in the club and Fallon has taken refuge outside by the bins, where Kirsty finds her, worried about whether she is OK. She has mislaid her coat but is not bothered: she'll find it later. It's becoming clear that she is drunk, and she has been doing some wild dancing; Kirsty wonders about giving Rex a call and asking him to come and pick them up, but Fallon doesn't at all want to leave. She is happy for Kirsty to go, and she will catch up with her later, but Kirsty is fine and doesn't propose to go anywhere without her.

Harrison apologises for fetching Alan out so late to lock up the church, but Alan claims he was up anyway, and tells him to let Alan know if he needs another time to do this again. Harrison confirms fervently that he found it helpful. He feels, not exactly comforted, it's hard to put into words, it's not drawing a line or wiping the slate clean, it's not closure, but he's more at peace with everything. That's not exactly right either, but it's a bit like that. Alan reassuringly tells him that sometimes there aren't the words and you just have to sit there and say nothing. Meantime he wishes Harrison goodnight and says he will remember him in his prayers: both of them, Harrison and Fallon, he emphasises; maybe Harrison doesn't have to explain to her what he can't find words for, but he thinks she ought to know that Harrison was in the church tonight, and why. [Don't worry Alan, there is zero chance she won't be told. Gus.]

Fallon is now rambling somewhat, and saying what it is, is her taking control of her own life, and when Kirsty asks if she doesn't think she's in control she becomes incoherent. They have one of those conversations about the whichness of the wherefore, concerning control, which happen when it gets drunk outside. Fallon seems bitter about other people trying to take control away from her, mentioning that they take her personal, private life and they try to control it; Kirsty pacifically doesn't think that's always what they mean to be doing, and when Fallon tries to pin her down about who she means by 'they' she evades replying. She is sure there are people out there who love Fallon and it's not always about control, but Fallon reckons she knows the difference, and she's decided that there's fun out there as well as worries, and that's what she's going to be looking for. So the plan is, to go back inside the club, forget the worries and dance the night away. She stands up, dislodging a bottle which rolls away as Kirsty sharply draws in her breath.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 16th June, 2024

Fallon clearly had a good time; Lilian has been having a bad one.

Characters: Fallon, Justin, Paul, Lilian, Kirsty
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

All seems well at the tea-room as Fallon greets Justin; he has arranged to meet Lilian there for lunch and, since it is such a nice day, they will have a table outside. The soup of the day is tomato and basil, and the quiche is asparagus, feta and dill, Fallon tells him as she gives him two menus. She asks how things are at The Stables; fortunately there's been no further cases [sic. Chris] of strangles, but Oliver's horse is still struggling, and Justin is very worried about Lilian, who is working extremely hard: Amside and The Bull haven't gone away either. Fallon assures him that Jolene is doing her best not to put any extra burdens on Lilian. Anyway, Justin has insisted Lilian must take a proper lunch-break today. As he goes out to his table Paul comes in, bringing Fallon the coat which she abandoned on Friday; he carried it around all evening for her. She gets him a cappuccino to say thank you, and he asks if she is feeling OK; he is a bit surprised she looks fresh as a daisy. She explains that she stayed in bed at Kirsty's for most of her 'morning after', eating doughnuts and watching cookery shows while Kirsty gave her sports drinks; Harrison was working and didn't have to see her in that state. Paul is still slightly concerned: so she is feeling OK today then? She says yes, better than she has for ages, as if she'd pressed a reset button or something, though she wouldn't recommend drinking quite that much and won't be doing it again in a hurry. Paul alarms her by saying that she did get quite carried away, but doesn't want to say what she did; instead he asks what she remembers: dancing, she says, and did she get up on a table at one point? On the bar, he tells her. And she knows that they got a taxi home and Kirsty made her eat a banana and drink some water when they got there. Paul probes for any other memories, which makes her anxious, but he assures her there was only high spirits. She then thinks that he looks a bit uncomfortable, but he denies that anything is wrong.

Lilian has been taking her responsibilities seriously; the staff (particularly someone called Francesca) constantly need to be reminded to stick to the stringent hygiene protocols, and clients and owners expect her to be able to give them answers about how long it will be before the outbreak is contained. Celia Hampton is apparently missing Columbus and ringing for news every couple of days. Justin is very openly sympathetic, and then says it''s too much for her, and they need to talk about finding a replacement for Alice. Lilian is opposed to the idea, for one poor reason, that Alice is her niece and alcoholism is a disease, and one rather better one, that they cannot just sack Alice without going through all the necessary procedures; at present they don't have any cause. Gross misconduct? Justin thinks they could get legal advice, but Lilian is sure that they can't dismiss her unless they can show she was responsible for Cinnamon getting strangles, and they can't. Alice hasn't actually done anything wrong. The most they could do is give her a warning for carelessness. Fallon comes to take their order, and the argument ceases for the time being.

Kirsty, on a bicycle, encounters Paul coming away from the tea-room, and they have a chat about the coat, and Fallon, and Friday night. Kirsty was playing nurse to her yesterday although she has quite a lot on, but at least Rex has come back to take charge of his pigs so she doesn't have them to do any more. She has spent the morning in the rewilding office: there is always another grant application to complete or activity to plan. Having a duvet day with Fallon may have been just what she needed. Paul squirms slightly, and when she expresses concern claims he has got sunburn, then swiftly moves on to Fallon not having very clear memories about Friday night; Kirsty says anything after about eleven seems to be a blur, and Paul remarks that means she can't remember... Kirsty thought it best not to remind her. It could have been worse: she wasn't taking her clothes off or snogging randoms. Still, she'd probably be embarrassed if she knew, so why go there? That's what Paul thought, and it's why he didn't say anything and is not going to.

Lilian is going on somewhat in rebuttal of Justin thinking Alice can be sacked, and Justin is rather regretting having raised the issue: this was meant to be a relaxing oasis in the middle of her day. Undeterred, she tells him she has been thinking and has concluded that they ought to bear some of the blame: any properly run organisation should have a system of checks and balances to make sure things like this don't happen. [Things like what though? A horse getting strangles is not amenable to checks, nor yet to balances. Chris.] Justin accepts there is something in what she says but invites her to think about the practicalities. At the minimum Alice is going to get a long driving ban: how can she manage a stables if she is not able to drive horse-boxes and so on? Lilian is sure they could find workarounds, but he is jumping to conclusions anyway: they can't pre-empt the outcome of the court case. Justin finds it ironic that Lilian was the one who had doubts about giving Alice the job in the first place, precisely because she feared that something like this might happen. She can't deny this whole episode is bad for the business. Lilian knows, but cannot stick the knife into her niece.

After all the teasing about Friday night's events that we've sat through earlier in the episode, Fallon is in conversation with Kirsty and tells her she has a vague memory of singing, well, rapping. Kirsty realises that there is no further point in the 'suspense' and tells her she rapped to Snoop Dogg's Sweat. Fallon exclaims that's filthy, and Kirsty tells her that's when they were asked to leave. They didn't actually throw them out; they were pretty polite. Fallon feels it's like being back in her twenties, when life was so much simpler. She regrets having been such an embarrassment. Kirsty forgivingly says that she obviously needed to let her hair down; Fallon agrees it was just what she needed, and she feels she's drawn a bit of a line. She was dreading her birthday, but now she is looking forward to it; Harrison seems happier in himself, too, and is planning something nice when he gets home that day. Kirsty then invites her to come and be a volunteer for the bushcraft workshops she is planning, so she can try things out. Fallon agrees to.

When Lilian gets home in the evening Justin gives her a G&T, and some olives and salted almonds to got with it. She is instantly suspicious and wants to know what he is after, but he insists that he wants nothing, but in fact wants to offer something: a compromise on the Alice front. He understands how sensitive it all is, but feels that she in turn has to agree that with the situation being so uncertain, the business is in a very vulnerable position; she does indeed agree, though reluctantly and only partially. But far more important than any of that, he continues, she is working herself into the ground and he is genuinely concerned for her well-being. Will she at least let him sound out a few potential replacements, on a no-obligation basis, in case they do have to let Alice go? Lilian agrees, with the proviso that he is to be very discreet.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 17th June, 2024

George is very tired, Paul is greatly relieved and Alice is filled with self-pity/loathing.

Characters: Adam, Tony, Alice, George, Paul, Azra
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

At Bridge Farm Tony is fed up because George was late coming in to work; baling the silage in one of the fields was to have been his job straight after he finished milking. Adam offers to do it, but Tony crossly turns him down. Before either can say more, Adam is called to by Alice, who is unexpectedly back in the village and didn't ring him because she's left her phone charger at Ruairi's. She has to go to the Borchester Police Station to be formally charged, and has come to beg Adam to go with her because she can't face it on her own. While they were conferring George has come up yawning; he is surprised to see Alice but Tony merely wants to know that the milking went OK, since he is obviously still half asleep. George explains he slept badly, but Tony doesn't care for his excuses and reads him a lecture about bucking his ideas up. Even being told that George was worrying about Bartleby only gives him pause for a moment before he continues to tear George off a strip. Adam comes asks Tony for a bit of time off, and when George wants to know what is going on and whether Alice is all right Tony tells him it's nothing that concerns him and sends him off to start work. Adam starts to explain, but Tony tells him that he doesn't need to.

Paul has taken himself to the doctor and with considerable embarrassment (and after a minor diversion into the only other time he has visited the surgery having been for an iguana bite) explains to Azra that he has red spots 'down there' and that his boyfriend has just opened up their relationship, which means seeing other people; Paul doesn't want to do that himself but is concerned that Etienne might have passed on some sort of infection. In that case, she tells him gently, she is definitely going to need to have a look.

The police are taking their time about processing Alice, so Adam has rung Tony to tell him they might be a while yet; Tony is very understanding. To be honest he is more concerned about George, who should have been back with the bales ages ago. Just as Adam is about to speculate about reasons he has to go: Alice is coming back. Alice tells him that staying at Ruairi's wasn't ideal because his housemates were not all that taken with her sitting around all the time, though Ruairi was understanding and it was a very kind offer. By the end she's pushed it as far as she could really, so it's probably just as well she had to come back for this. Adam asks if it is good to be home; yes and no, because there are lots of people she doesn't want to bump into. She hasn't yet seen Martha because she got home too late last night, but Chris has agreed they will go together to fetch their child from nursery every day this week and then have a family tea. Adam thinks that should be good for both of them, and adds that Alice could do with a bit of a boost. Alice is somewhat doom-laden about her self being the drunk and the other Alice, the one who had her life together, being the fake one. Adam of course tries to argue with her, which just makes it possible for her to denigrate herself more and more. Eventually he tells her that the family love her and want to support her, although... When he pauses she asks him to go on, so he does: there have to be limits. He can't have Xander around the sort of chaos they had before when she was staying at theirs; it wouldn't be fair on Ian either. Alice assures him he is not to worry: when she's not seeing Martha she's just going to hunker down at The Nest, keep her head low like the criminal she is. Adam snorts at that, then asks if that is such a good idea: won't she just be drinking alone all day? She says not necessarily, but he is wise to that one: when she went to the loo just now, did she have a drink in there? She immediately says no, but he doesn't believe it, tells her she doesn't have to play games and asks her how much; she eventually admits to a miniature, that's all, just to take the edge off.

Azra asks whether Paul has been out in nature recently, and when he tells her about sunbathing with his housemates on the lawn last week, she informs him that she thinks she can set his mind at rest: it's not sunburn, but they look like insect bites to her. Paul is very relieved. She will prescribe some cream which will clear them up, but she does want to suggest that given the change in his relationship there are a few things to consider on that front too: has he discussed safe sex with his partner? When he tells her he has found it hard to discuss this new arrangement at all she recommends that he does, and he agrees that it looks like Etienne and he need to have a talk.

Looking for the missing bales, Tony has found George sleeping in the field and shouts to wake him; George tries to deny having been asleep, then has to listen to Tony telling him why the baling was urgent. He says that he did all this at college, which doesn't help his case with Tony one little bit. They need to get the rest baled and back to the yard pronto.

This sorry tale is related to Alice by Adam later, with a certain amount of sympathy: Alice must know what it's like when you close your eyes for two minutes and when you open them two hours have gone. She doesn't imagine Tony was very pleased, and Adam snorts and says that's putting it mildly; Alice starts to wallow again, saying that compared with her it doesn't seem like much. Adam wants to know exactly what the charge was, and she tells him there were two: dangerous driving plus driving while unfit through drink or drugs. The hearing is on Friday, at Borchester Magistrates. It's quick, but at least it will be done before Dad gets back, Alice says; Adam thinks Brian should be sent for, but Alice doesn't want to spoil his holiday with Miranda and she will fill him in when he is back from Minorca. Adam can understand Alice wanting to keep a low profile, but she really should go and see Lilian; she doesn't want to, though she does agree that she must if she wants to stand any chance of keeping her job. Adam suggests maybe tomorrow. He asks if she has heard from Harry at all: no, she hasn't and doesn't want to. She's ashamed to have to tell him she is drinking again after having boasted to him about stopping. She starts to blame herself for having made him her responsibility, then admits if it hadn't been him there would have been something else that gave her the excuse to fall off the wagon. Adam tells her she has to stop thinking like that and she tells him she can't: she is really scared. The blood test put her four times over the limit for driving and that means she could be sent to prison. Adam points out that is theoretical, but Alice is off again: and that just makes her want to drink, which is the exact opposite of what her solicitor said she needed to do. Adam reckons the solicitor is right: the magistrates would take a very dim view of her turning up drunk. Alice knows, but she just can't stop. Adam is going to call the GP's surgery and see if they can get her in and maybe they can help with a short-term fix to keep her from drinking over the next few days. Alice thinks that is pointless, and when he asks if she wants to go to prison says that maybe that's where she deserves to be. She does know she wouldn't be able to drink inside there, enquires Adam, and this finally gets her to stop making futile verbal gestures about her own worm-like nature and realise that she hadn't thought of that. Adam asks if that is what she wants, to be banged up with no access to alcohol, and she tells him that no, no, she doesn't want to go to prison; she begs him to help her, please.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 18th June, 2024

A dressing-down for Mick, but things are looking up for Lilian.

Characters: Joy, Mick, Oliver, Lilian, Justin, Jakob
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

We are unnecessarily dragged to the end of another bed, this one Mick's in his motor home, which he has been sharing with Joy; we learn that they also frolicked in the health club after hours, and get the important information that she is no longer having to wear a sling. Mick is sure they don't need to worry about the CCTV footage: with Roy away, Oliver is too busy to spend time going through it. Joy feels she should get up, since she was planning to dust upstairs at her house, and Mick offers to make them a cuppa, ploughing his way through the mess to get to the sink. Before he can make good on his offer his phone rings; when he manages to find and answer it, Oliver tells him that Mrs Harpenden, in Room 17, is claiming a ring has been stolen, and Mick is needed there at once. Oliver is going to start reviewing the CCTV. This alarms Joy, but her exclamation is lost in Mick's search for his suit, which has ended up under some cushions. He can't do anything about its crumpled condition now, because he needs to get Oliver away from that video.

Lilian wants Justin's advice about a covering letter she plans to send out with the invoices, apologising for the worry and inconvenience and assuring owners they are doing everything they can to keep the horses safe. Justin feels she should be careful: she doesn't want to leave herself open to litigation. He takes a look, telling her they need to be reassuring without being over-promising. Before he has time to give his verdict on her prose she notices something in the diary for Thursday: he has arranged to see Carlotta Mayfield, who works at Sal Blakedown's place, and asks if Lilian would like to sit in on the interview. [Hang on: The Stables is not his business, he really cannot offer jobs in it to anyone. Chris.] Lilian splutters in outrage: they did not agree to him interviewing anyone! What they agreed was to him discreetly sounding a few people out, not start a formal recruitment process. He argues that they don't know when Alice will be in a fit state to come back to work, or even if. Lilian angrily asserts that she is sure Alice will, but he is determined that in the meantime Carlotta, or whoever they appoint, can be a stand-in, temporary manager while Alice is off sick. Then if she really can't come back to work, they've got someone trained up who can move in to a permanent rôle: surely Lilian can see the sense in that. She feels that it sounds as if they are writing Alice off; Justin is sure that, once they explained it to her, Alice would understand completely. [I think that would depend how much she had recently drunk when they did so. Chris.] With no warning, Jakob comes in; he has just done his morning check on Duke, whose condition has deteriorated to the point Jakob would say was critical: Lilian needs to come, right now.

Duke is having trouble breathing, and Jakob needs to perform a tracheotomy: once the tube is in he should be able to breathe more easily. Lilian proposes to ring Oliver at once, but Justin thinks Oliver would want them to go ahead immediately, and since he will be at Grey Gables later in the morning meeting Martyn, he can update Oliver face to face; Jakob just wants to know if they have authority to give consent, which Lilian does. When Justin asks if there is anything Jakob needs, Jakob politely tells him he just needs elbow room.

Later, Justin has sought out Oliver: he can't over-emphasise how urgent the situation was, he explains. Oliver understands and would himself have told Jakob to go ahead. Lilian texted Justin as he was on his way to Oliver's office to tell him the procedure has already been completed, successfully. Oliver finds that a huge relief, and Justin adds that Lilian will keep him informed as things progress. They are interrupted by Mick, who has come to tell Oliver, triumphantly, that it worked out all right; Oliver chides him, saying they were in the middle of a conversation, but Justin thinks they have pretty much finished and asks for an introduction, saying his own name. Oliver tells him this is Mick Fadmore from their security team. Mick is bright and breezy, and explains to Justin that they had a bit of a flap but it's all sorted. Justin murmurs that he is glad to hear it, and Mick goes on to tell him a guest had a ring go missing and thought it was stolen, and, while Oliver tries to expostulate and Justin makes politely interested noises, goes on some more: accusing all sorts, wasn't she, Oliver, grand theft jewellery, but it turned up in a chambermaid's vac. Oliver questions the use of the word chambermaid, and Mick stumbles to try to think of the proper term before saying that Mrs H is in the dining-room now, getting some breakfast. [Dear lord alive, do they vacuum the rooms before breakfast with the guests still in them? Funny ol' place, this hotel. Chris.] Justin utters a bromide about all being well that ends well, and makes his escape, leaving Mick to say 'nice bloke' and that he could do with some breakfast himself, but Oliver wants a word before he goes: Oliver, unlike Mick, has not found this incident at all funny, and though Oliver supposed that he would placate the guest by summoning a trusted security representative, when Mick turned up the impression he gave was frankly terrible. They have spoken about this on more than one occasion, and Oliver lists what is wrong with Mick's appearance this time; Mick foolishly tries to make excuses, which Oliver ignores and continues his dispassionate critique, ending by reminding Mick that he is still in a probationary period and so far is falling well below the standard expected from Grey Gables employees for personal presentation.

When Mick reports that interview back to Joy she is indignant on his behalf, calling it a bit harsh. Mick feels that Oliver was right: he looks like a scarecrow. He also refuses to accept Joy trying to blame herself for having thrown his jacket into a corner: his clothes, his responsibility to keep them tidy. As Joy is about to see what she can do about his jacket there is a knock at the door and, when Oliver shouts for Mick, she dives under the duvet because she's not dressed. Oliver has come to tell him about the CCTV, at which Joy utters a squeak explained away by Mick as being the springs of the van; Oliver has realised there is a blind spot with the cameras, and the corridor leading from reception to the health club doesn't seem to be covered, so he wants Mick to sort that out as soon as possible. After he has gone Mick and Joy exclaim together about the narrow escape they have had.

Lilian is giving instructions to someone at The Stables when Jakob comes to tell her that he is pleased to say that Duke is continuing to respond well. He's put the horse on a course of IV antibiotics and anti-inflamatories, which should reduce the swelling in the throat [which leads me to wonder why he did not give these treatments three days ago before the horse suffered a crisis. Chris] and now feels that his best guess is that it is definitely better than fifty per cent that Duke might make a full recovery. Lilian feels that is wonderful given how he was in the morning, and Jakob chidingly reminds her that it will take time, at least three weeks. So long as he carries on in the right direction, Lilian will happily take that, and Jakob adds that he thinks she can start to feel more positive in general: as there have been no new cases, they may have the outbreak contained. Once all the horses test clear they'll be able to resume normal operations. Lilian exclaims joyfully that she could kiss him; he quickly tells her that won't be necessary. She tells him that now Duke is stable she'll sleep a bit better, and all this has been a terrible strain on her nerves; Jakob finds that understandable, and does wonder whether with Alice on continuing sick leave, Lilian might feel she'd benefit from sharing the management workload with someone else. Joanne is incredibly competent, but she's always very clear about where her responsibilities end, and that slight lack of initiative can't be easing the burden on Lilian. Lilian calls this 'an interesting observation'; he's not the only one who's made it.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 19th June, 2024

A row, diazepam, a razor and a rooftop – but don't hold your breath.

Characters: Joy, Mick, Fallon, Harrison, Adam, Alice, Doctor Malik
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Since Mick is clearly unable to look after himself, Joy has taken on the job of making him presentable, ironing his shirts and even his ties (using a cloth so they won't go shiny); she offers him a cooked breakfast, which he is delighted to accept since he has a late start at work. Joy jokes that after her bush-craft course she will be able to rustle up a three course meal with two twigs and a bit of string. She then offers to do his washing for him once a week, and also offers the use of her bathroom if he wants 'a proper sluice'. He is doubtful at first, but eventually accepts with the proviso that she must allow him to do her gardening.

At first Fallon's birthday evening is going well; Harrison (in consultation with Kirsty) has got her a present she is really keen on, a jewellery-making kit, and they are talking about the meal they should order from a Lebanese place. Harrison hands her his phone, on which he has noted a few favourites for her consideration, but as they are happily discussing extra dolmades a message from Alan arrives and of course she can't help seeing it, and after a fraught pause reads it out: 'Sorry it's taken so long but here as promised is the text of our memorial prayers from last week.' He starts to say something, but she loudly wants to know, how could he? After all they said?

Adam is congratulating himself about someone pulling out of the doctors' car-park just as he and Alice arrived; she tries to pick a quarrel with him about being quite capable of walking from the street, but he refuses to be drawn. He is pleased they were able to get an appointment before Friday and suspects it was a cancellation. [Oh how we laughed. Gus.] [Not. Chris.] Alice says she doesn't know how she feels about Friday, which slightly throws him; obviously she is relieved the court hearing won't be hanging over her for weeks, but at the same time she is terrified about the outcome. It's all just leaning in, and she really needs a drink. Adam says 'no' in a warning and forbidding voice; no, she is doing so well, and if the doctor can prescribe something to help keep her off it... She interrupts to say that's a big 'if', but he goes on: then maybe tomorrow she might feel ready to go and have a chat to Lilian and see how things are at The Stables. Alice offers a grudging 'maybe', and Adam reminds her that he is sure Lilian has heard she is back by now and if Alice doesn't get in touch she's going to think it odd. Alice now explains that she is ashamed: Lilian and Kate were absolutely right and she couldn't be trusted to keep off the sauce. Adam is sure Lilian won't see it that way, and Alice falls back on berating herself for the last time she was at the doctor's, when she dragged Kate along to prove she wasn't drinking. She wasted NHS time and annoyed Kate, and made a complete fool of herself. [Personally I think the last reason there is the one that really upsets her. Chris.] What's Doctor Malik going to think of her now? Adam tries to reassure her, and tells her they need to go in; she jibs, and says says she can't. Alan is rendered speechless for a long moment before starting to argue with her about it, but she's sorry: she just can't.

The righteous wrath of Fallon is falling on Harrison. Can't he get it into his head for once and for all: there was no child? She had a miscarriage. He knew she didn't want a memorial service, and when Harrison tries to protest that he knew she didn't want anything public but this was very small, just him and Alan, she tells him roundly that she doesn't care. In a parallel monologue he says it was to help him deal with the loss of what might have been, and why would she want to take that away from him? Despairingly, she tries yet again to explain: it's just another example of him bulldozing over her, not respecting her feelings. He tries to assert that it wasn't like that at all [thus proving that it was. Chris] and she furiously proceeds to read out bits of prayer, savagely and with contempt: 'Lord God, the heaviness of grief is laid upon these parents, you know the pain and sadness they feel at the loss of the child, console them with the knowledge that he or she lives in your loving care' – as he tries to protest, she adds, more loudly, that she doesn't feel that way. He says that he didn't choose the prayers, Alan did, but she ignores him to read out a bit she proclaims she simply doesn't believe (and which makes her start to giggle): 'there's a baby in Heaven'. As he starts to say perhaps not literally but there's... She wants to know how he dares to lump her in with him, like they both think the same way about it – she doesn't need praying for! Harrison interjects that everyone needs praying for; infuriated, she asks if he can hear himself: he can be so pompous sometimes!

Alice having refused at the last hurdle, Adam has left her in the car and gone in without her to see Doctor Malik, who very properly refuses to discuss her patient Alice with him, even when he tries to get her to talk about 'a patient'. When he tells her that Alice is in the car outside, she decides to take the unorthodox step of going out and talking with her there.

When Joy pops in to see how his day has been, Mick initially seems to suggest it has been something to sigh over, but then tells her it's been the best day since he started there. She is very pleased, and he tells her it's all thanks to her: Oliver actually complimented him on his appearance and maybe he won't get the sack after all. He has put up a hook in his motor home to hang his suit on, and Joy has got him a few things from the shops, too: an electric razor (which he greets as if it were a luxury unheard of for the likes of him) and a mirror with a light in it for him to use when he shaves. He wants to thank her somehow, and since she is not interested in the special whisky Alistair got for him (except for wondering why Alistair did that) he asks her to come back at about eight o'clock.

Out in the car-park Doctor Malik asks Adam to let her talk to her patient confidentially, but Alice at once insists that she wants Adam to be present, so he gets into the back of the car and Azra into the driver's seat. Doctor Malik calms Alice and gets the story of her lapse from 'recovery' from her, somewhat hampered by Adam taking it on himself repeatedly to speak for her and tell her doctor what Alice wants and needs. He tries to tell Doctor Malik what they want prescribed, but she informs him that is no longer what they use, doesn't even discuss MDMA, and offers a short course of diazepam as something she could prescribe if Alice can keep off alcohol while she is taking it, just to reduce the effects of withdrawal. [And if she can't, alcohol and diazepam in combination can be dangerous. We didn't hear Doctor Malik mention this, but I hope that she did so off air at least. She also didn't find out on air that Alice is living alone and if she did mix them and pass out might not be found for several hours. Chris.] Alice is shocked, and asks if that is it, but accepts it as the only option. Doctor Malik is very clear that she must stop drinking of her own accord: diazepam can help short term but is not a fix for alcoholism. Alice confirms that she will stop drinking. She has to.

The eight o'clock surprise for Joy turns out to be a trip to the roof of Grey Gables. She is dubious lest this get Mick in trouble, but he firmly tells her that doing patrols of the whole hotel is his job, and draws her attention to the beautiful view of the sun low over the Hassett Hills, putting the chimney-stacks in silhouette; Joy says she never realised he was such a poet. None of the guests get a view like this, he tells her, adding that best of all, there's no CCTV. She kisses him, and he takes his opportunity to say that he's sorry he messed up about Rochelle; he was out of order. He gets it now: it is obviously difficult for Joy, but, if she is ever ready to talk, he'll be there to listen. She thanks him and says she'll remember that.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 20th June, 2024

Jakob lets the cat out of the bag and Fallon resolves again to sort things out.

Characters: Kirsty, Fallon, Lilian, Alice, Joy, Justin
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The trial day for Bushcraft courses at the rewilding has one person attending it so far, though another is expected; Kirsty tells Fallon that the first requirement is shelter, and they should crack on and collect some branches and debris, using the saws they have. When directly asked, Fallon admits she is not really OK: if she is absolutely honest, she nearly pulled out of the day, but in the end she didn't want to let Kirsty down. Kirsty is sure that if Fallon is not well she can manage with just Joy, but Fallon says she's not ill or anything, so Kirsty ruefully asks if it is Harrison: Fallon seemed so much happier at the weekend. Fallon agrees she had high hopes, Harrison seemed better, and she thought they'd turned a corner, until yesterday she discovered something she couldn't forgive him for: he said some prayers with Alan. When Kirsty blankly repeats the words 'some prayers', Fallon says she knows it doesn't sound like much, but she didn't know, and she found out by accident again, and... she doesn't want to go on about it. Kirsty is just pleased she managed to make it, and thinks being out in nature might do her good.

As usual Lilian can't find something in the office at The Stables; she calls a preoccupied 'come in' when someone knocks at the door, then is very surprised it is Alice. She is able to convince Alice she is glad to see her, and asks if she had a nice time in London; Alice didn't particularly but it got her away from Ambridge, which was what she needed. Lilian asks if she is back for good, to which Alice replies that it depends: her court hearing is tomorrow. This seems very quick to Lilian [a mere seven weeks after the accident. Chris]; according to Alice Adam has been brilliant, dragged her to the doctor for a prescription Alice hopes should ease things a bit. Lilian is delighted to be told that Chris has organised some family time with Martha every day; Alice feels he has been absolutely amazing, and Lilian declares he is a good man. Alice has been reminded it could all be taken away; in the worst-case scenario she could go to jail for a long time, and for all Lilian says she is sure it won't come to that, Alice knows it's not impossible.

When Joy arrives at the rewilding area she is in a good mood, and says they can thank Mick for that. She clearly longs to tell them all about her sex-life, but mercifully does so only obliquely. She asks if it's just the two of them, and Kirsty tells her Roy would have wanted to be there only he is in Bulgaria. Paul was not really interested, being too fond of his creature comforts, and Joy, claiming she is always up for a new experience, asks what is on the agenda. Kirsty explains about building a lean-to, and then making a fire using primitive techniques; once they've got a brew on they'll have a crack at a couple of bushcraft projects. [Query: has KD read Dick Francis' 'Longshot', I wonder? Chris.] This sounds great to Joy, though silence understandably falls when Kirsty asks if she's ever made bramble cordage.

It's becoming more and more clear that Lilian is not expecting Alice to stay for too long, and certainly not expecting her to come back to work any time soon. She offers to take Alice to court tomorrow at ten, or to turn up to support her, but Adam is already taking her and Alice says she's already put Auntie Lilian through far too much. As they are talking about how everyone has been mucking in while the strangles was going on, Justin bounces in and greets Alice; Lilian tells him Alice has just popped in for a little catch-up, and he asks if she has brought Alice up to date; her answer makes him aware that she has not told Alice she's about to be replaced, even if only temporarily, and that her potential replacement Carlotta is due Real Soon Now for her interview. Furthermore, Lilian manages to inform him that the reason he is there is that he has kindly offered to look over the staff contracts. She then tells Alice she's sure Alice has things to get on with, to which Alice replies somewhat blankly that she hasn't until she goes to see Martha later. Alice confides that she was very nervous about coming, but it's made her realise how much she's missed the place; while she's here maybe she could help out a little? Lilian is flustered and puts her off, and Jakob's arrival lets her off the hook; having been reminded of the horse's existence and told of his troubles Alice wants to go and see Duke and insists on doing so in spite of anything either Justin or Jakob can say to put her off. As she and Jakob go off to follow the isolation protocols, Justin hisses to Lilian that Carlotta is due any minute and surely it would be simpler just to share their thinking with Alice, but Lilian is set against doing that yet: Alice is starting to make some steps with her recovery but she is still very fragile. Lilian doesn't want to set her back, and so does not want her to know they are talking to potential managers. Justin reluctantly agrees, with the proviso they can just see how it goes today.

Starting a fire with a bow-drill has proved too difficult for Fallon, and when she comes back from having a rest Kirsty suggests an alternative method, birch bark shavings and a ferro rod. Joy chatters about how well Lexi and Roy were suited and what a shame it was they split up [which is interesting, since Joy arrived in Ambridge in September 2019 and Lexi left in October that year after not having been with Roy since that February. Chris]; Kirsty seems singularly uninterested in whether Roy and Lexi get back together, but agrees with Fallon that is is super-romantic to fly to another country, like in a movie. Joy feels that big gestures are all very well, but if they go wrong you can really embarrass yourself; she then succeeds in getting a spark and making fire, and is triumphant.

Alice is mooning over Duke and telling Jakob admiringly that he saved the horse's life. She then tells him that she owes him a huge debt of gratitude for covering for her: he's been a good friend and he's a great vet. Flattered and embarrassed, he tells her she's been a great stables manager and any replacement will have big shoes to fill. When she reacts with incredulity he realises that he has jut let the cat out of the bag.

The fire is now being thoroughly put out with water, and checked to make sure the embers are no longer warm. Joy thinks it's a shame to leave the place, and Fallon feels like she's been on holiday; Joy tells Kirsty it's been a wonderful day and it makes her feel like fresh starts. Things are really good with Mick now, but she might be more open with him; Kirsty says she's going to put herself out there a bit more. As Joy goes to fetch the spatula she has made, Kirsty asks Fallon how she is now, and Fallon tells her she is feeling much better than she did in the morning. As they've been working she's been doing a lot of thinking: she really needs to sort things out with Harrison.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 21st June, 2024

Alice and Fallon both do one-eighties.

Characters: Alice, Adam, George, Harrison, Fallon
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Because he will be collecting her to take her to court Adam rings Alice early in the morning and worries when she doesn't immediately answer; she was in the shower. She assures him she has not had anything to drink, but muses that may not be an unalloyed good thing: when you're sober everything comes into horrible sharp focus; she goes into another dirge about how guilty she is of having damaged other people, which apparently is really weighing on her. Adam tells her she is doing brilliantly to stay sober after Jakob's little slip-up, thus reminding her that she was kept awake worrying about it even though Lilian explained it as finding cover for her: she doesn't believe that. Adam hastily says they shouldn't get into that now, just concentrate on today. He will pick her up by nine. As Adam puts the phone down George arrives, saying he needs to get to the polytunnels, but Adam wants a quick word first: there are punctures in a couple of the silage bales George stacked the other day. George says he'll patch them up, and the ever-picky Adam wants to be sure that he used the grabber, which George tells him of course he did. [Hard to think he'd be hefting things that size around by hand. Chris.] Adam instructs him to get some duck tape from the workshop. George has heard that Alice is in court today; what does Adam think her chances are? Adam says heavily that he has really no idea.

Harrison is trying to hide what has arrived for him in the post, then explains about the baby-loss certificate. Fallon doesn't lose her temper with him, but asks to have a look, so he shows it to her. She thinks it looks very official, and notices it has only his name on it as parent. Harrison says he didn't want to make assumptions on her behalf, and then that he probably shouldn't have done it at all. Fallon continues to be calm and understanding, telling him not to be sorry and saying that if it was important to him... He continues with his parallel monologue of self-exculpation even though it seems otiose at this point. Finally addressing her, he suggests that he wouldn't want it to make things worse between them, but she interrupts to say that it shouldn't do. She has been thinking a lot about the other day, she hated that and she realises that she over-reacted about his memorial service thing. He reiterates that it really wasn't a service, just a few prayers. She continues: the miscarriage was obviously significant to him and of course he should be able to react in his own way: she was out of order. He reckons he should have been able to tell her what he was planning, and she says he should be able to do whatever works for him, whether that is in a church or this certificate; he thanks her. She says she wants to support him, and he says he really appreciates that, and the prayers wasn't him trying to create a baby from nothing, it was just to say goodbye to the possibility of one. She knows that now, and she's sorry she was so horrible about it. She never wants to be like that again. They hug and say they love each other. Fallon then confesses that one of the reasons she got so upset was because he did the church thing without telling her, and she did something without telling him: last Friday [while he was having his prayer-session in church. Chris] she wasn't watching a film at home with Kirsty. They went into town for a drink; well, more than a few, and she got completely obliterated. Harrison laughs indulgently and says he had no idea. He goes on laughing as she tells him she stayed the day at Kirsty's getting over a monster hangover, and now she feels lighter and sort of clean, and then suggests that may have been her way of dealing with everything, and Fallon, wonderingly, thinks it was. Harrison reckons that it's fine and like she said, they need to react in their own ways, and she is relieved that he understands. He then tells her not to worry about the certificate: he's not going to frame it and put it on the wall or anything. She tells him to do what he needs to do, which he thinks will just be to keep it in a drawer. She is now sorry but she needs to get to work; he is planning to cut the lawn, since the grass is growing so fast. She exclaims with enthusiasm, then enquires if he's not tempted to go to the court where Alice's case is up; he knows that it is, and, when she asks if that is bringing up the anger again, says that the justice system is taking its course and he is going to let it. [Like he has a choice! Chris.] What will be, will be, he adds.

George has done the repairs to the silage bales and Adam thanks him, but cannot resist rubbing it in that it would have been better if the bales had not been damaged in the first place. When George explains that he's had a lot on his mind lately Adam twits him that being the village hero can't be easy, which makes George wish fervently that people would stop calling him that. All eyes on you, says Adam sympathetically; he has to dash, but maybe he and George could go for a pie and a pint some time and take George's mind off it. George turns this down: it's nice of him to offer, but no, thanks.

As they wait outside the magistrates' court Adam is trying to keep Alice's spirits up; she is simply sure he has better things to do than hang around with her all morning. He tells her not to be silly, and says it shouldn't be long now: she is next on the list. She continues her anti-Alice remarks; Adam reminds her that 'Harriet' didn't seem to think her going to jail was very likely: she'll get a fine and a driving ban, and if they add anything else hopefully it will just be a community punishment. Or a suspended sentence at worst. And as long as she stays free, there's a much better chance of things working out at the stable. This sets Alice off again: she thinks she has been kidding herself about that: she may not be going to be barred from working with children, but would he want his kid being taught to ride by someone with a criminal record? Adam reminds her that isn't what Lilian said, but she is determined to talk herself down and says they may have no choice and might have to sack her just to protect The Stables' reputation. Luckily before she gets too worked up she is called in. Adam tries to give her a last minute pep-talk but she isn't interested, and goes on in.

George has brought new potatoes and salad stuff to the tea-room, and when she says it's a lovely day to be working outside says he is working in the polytunnels and it gets pretty hot in there. Harrison erupts into the room and greets Fallon loudly, then, effusively, George, as 'mate', and asks when they can expect the next Bartleby video. George tells him there probably won't be any more, and, when Fallon and Harrison both ask why, says they are selling him. And he needs to get on. After he has left Fallon and Harrison are slightly saddened that, according to Emma, the Grundys are getting rid of the pony because they are finding him a bit expensive, with medication and his special diet, but forget about it in discussion about lunch; Fallon offers Harrison a 'lasagna' she has made with cream, and chocolate, and peanut butter. The whole thing is for him, and he reckons she is trying to kill him: the first time peanut butter has been used as a murder weapon. She reassures him that he doesn't have to eat it all, but his reply is yeah, but he is going to, isn't he.

Exasperated, Adam exclaims that he still can't believe it: why didn't Alice plead guilty? It was all agreed. She stammers that she just couldn't help it when she heard the question: she knew she ... she was trying to say it. She expected to say it. But the word just wouldn't come out. Adam tells her crossly that he simply doesn't understand; her reply is that there was something deep down inside her: she wouldn't have driven after drinking that much. She couldn't have. Adam points out that there is masses of evidence that she did, which will now all come out in court. She knows that, but she still feels it: she doesn't think she'd have put other people's lives in danger like that. Her own life, sure, because that's not worth anything (Adam tries and fails to remonstrate at that) but driving, when she was black-out drunk – no, no, that would be insane. Adam grimly remarks that Harriet was furious, and Alice goes on: when she has a drink, she always puts her keys in the glove compartment so she can't just drive away automatically. Adam continues his theme of the crossness of Harriet, who is going to have to gather much harder evidence than that. He asks if Alice does know the Crown Court can give out stiffer sentences than the magistrates; with those blood test results, he hates to say it but by pleading not guilty, hasn't she just made a prison sentence that much more likely? Alice at once appeals to the Almighty: what has she done? She's frightened! Adam is too, but tries to think practically; he suggests they just get her home and then they can talk about this a bit more. She agrees, but adds that she needs to stop at a shop on the way. Adam is incredulous, so she says she could get something where they are. He realises that she means drink, and absolutely refuses to let her. She tells him just to drive her home, then; she can walk to the village shop. He begs her not to: she's done so well this week, and she can't let this drag her under. Really? she asks him bitterly; can't she?

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 23rd June, 2024

Bartleby has his final say, Alice isn't talking, and Christopher is baffled.

Characters: Neil, Christopher, Adam, Eddie, George, Lilian
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Mel Ward
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Neil has brought Christopher, who is making gates, some of Susan's strawberry tart for a treat. He thinks it is good to keep busy, though Christopher tells him weekends aren't so easy, with Martha; Neil is sure she'll be having a ball at Little Grange, with Keira. [Martha born 9th March 2021; Keira born 6th March 2011. What are they likely to have in common? Chris.] Ed plans to bring them to the cricket match at Waterley Cross later. [Being bored by cricket might form a bond between them, I suppose. Chris.] Adam interrupts Neil's offer to do anything he and Susan can to help, and he and Christopher wish each other a happy birthday for yesterday, and Neil asks if he is on his way to the match, but he isn't playing today. He was wondering if Chris knew how Alice is. She has told Christopher that her plea hearing was horrible, so Adam explains it was a lot worse than that: she pleaded not guilty. Both Neil and Chris are incredulous. Chris doesn't understand, and Neil wonders why she would do that. Adam is not sure she knows the answer to that herself, except for her having said something inside her, deep down, all her instincts told her she'd never have driven when she was so drunk. Chris thinks that it was really surprising that she did; Neil clearly doesn't and is angry about the harm Alice might have done while drunk. Adam honestly wasn't expecting that plea and couldn't face telling the family, so Ian rang round to do that. Brian was pole-axed: he's barely home from holiday and the relaxing he did over there... Neil expects that it was ruined. Chris can't believe she didn't say anything to him. Adam starts to get round to the point of his visit: this is the first time he's been out of the house, but now Alice won't pick up his calls and she won't let them go round, so he wondered if Chris can try to find out what's going on with her. Chris agrees to do his best. although she'll probably say the same to him. Adam tells them about her wanting him to take her to an off-licence on Friday, which he obviously refused to do, but you could tell she was determined to have a drink. Christopher moans 'oh, no', and Neil resignedly accepts that she will have got hold of some, from somewhere. Adam fears so.

The final filming of Bartleby is proving more difficult than Eddie had anticipated, because George is being perfectionist and Gem is being restive. Eddie thoughtfully muses that once Bartleby is gone they could use Gem instead, but George rubbishes the notion. George has told Harrison he is too busy to play cricket, and Harrison accepted it because it is Bartleby's last week with the Grundys. Meg Mellor is collecting him on Friday but coming to see him before then when she is visiting an old mate at The Laurels and staying at Grey Gables. Eddie is snide about money being no object to these horsey types. George mentions that she was asking about bank account details, so he gave her his; Eddie tells him that Clarrie has already given her Oliver's. They all agreed it's best until they decide what to do with it. George acquiesces and suggests one more try to get the filming right, to which Eddie somewhat wearily agrees.

Lilian is providing Adam with a hot drink and says she could just do with a drop of brandy in it; Adam sees the irony, then asks if Alice is answering Lilian's calls. No, and when Lilian went round she could see Alice watching television but she refused to open the door. At least they know she's still alive. Adam is sorry he didn't ring her himself on Friday, and has come round now to apologise in person; she tells him not to worry because Kate explained what an appalling day he'd had. The two agree they all feel useless, which as Lilian remarks won't get them very far, and Adam is sure there must be something they can do to show her they love her and they're all there for her [this may well be the problem. Gus], and as Lilian adds, they always will be. Adam supposes they need to help her feel more positive about her life. Lilian just wants to stop her drinking, even for a day.

The filming is finally a wrap, and Eddie wants to be off for his Sunday pint, but George wants a photo of him and Bartleby first. As George sets up his phone for that, Eddie starts to make suggestions, as from him and Ed, about what to spend the money on; George has already vetoed putting it towards the tree surgery, and Eddie says they're doing well, getting their own jobs independent-like, first one next week, but George firmly says it is still nothing to do with Bartleby. Eddie then puts forward a new van, which would help them all including George; George just says 'no' as he hands Eddie his phone. Eddie asks whether George doesn't reckon his grandma could do with a holiday, in fact they all could, but George says indignantly that it's not about them, and Eddie starts to take many photos, all of which are blurred. He tells Eddie to forget it; he'll ask Keira. Eddie doesn't care, but still wants to talk about the money. George thinks that since Bartleby belonged to Joe, they have to spend it on something to do with him. Eddie is taken with this idea, and when George tentatively clarifies that means they are only going to spend it on something Grandpa Joe would have liked, Eddie agrees that's exactly right. They just need to work out what.

The hardy perennial self-blame game is now in play, at least by Lilian; Adam tells her she was not to know about Harry. Lilian is still puzzled as to how she can have failed to hear rumours in so small a social circle as eventing, where someone being a lush is red-hot gossip; Adam reassures her that he must have hidden it incredibly well, or Alice would have run a mile. He also doesn't think Lilian's effort to bring romance into Alice's life was misguided: everyone deserves a little happiness. Unfortunately in reaching for it she's fallen: even at the police station last week she crept off to drink a miniature she had in her bag. And then she was so down on herself, he grieves, even wondering if she'd gone out with Harry deliberately to give herself an excuse to start drinking again. Lilian thinks that is utter nonsense, and also that it feels as if they are losing her right in front of their eyes, she's slipping through their fingers. Adam knows what she means but is sure they need to do their best to be positive; she's been in recovery before, she can do it again. Lilian wonders if there is any chance she might be persuaded to change her plea, but Adam honestly doesn't think so. If Lilian had seen her, in that moment – it was something she seemed so certain about, a really strong instinct. When Lilian wonders if she is right to trust her instincts Adam thinks she might be: if it's the only thing she feels any certainty about, they might make things worse by trying to take it away. Lilian underlines that Alice can be certain of returning to work there with the horses if she can get to the point where she can recover and is ready to come back they will welcome her with open arms. Adam is sure that will help; Lilian wonders whether it is enough.

Martha is practically asleep on the sofa, according to Neil; Christopher reckons tea, and then bed. She had an amazing time and still thinks the swings are her favourite thing ever, and being pushed by mummy. Neil asks how Alice was, and Christopher says she'd obviously showered and washed her hair, but one look at her eyes showed that she had been drinking: no doubt about it. Neil wonders if Christopher asked her what happened at court; yes, he tried, but she closed down straight away. Neil assumes that means Christopher doesn't know why she did it, and indeed, one mention of Friday and the shutters came slamming down. Neil groans, but Christopher is more positive: they had a real giggle, Martha especially. She's had her tantrums recently but this was different: it was sort of like the old times. He can't explain it, but in one way Alice was back to her old self. Neil reminds him 'that girl' is very far from her old self. but Christopher argues that being with Martha seemed to give her, he doesn't know, some genuine peace. Neil thinks it would make Alice realise what she's risking here: she could easily end up in prison. And if she does what about Martha, Christopher asks; and what about him? Neil assures him he'd get by; they'd make sure of it. Christopher muses that Martha will be a bit younger that he was, and Neil asserts that he survived, they all survived; Christopher just doesn't want his daughter to have to go through what they did. It's already been hard for her, too hard, and if Alice isn't here again for who knows how long, how is that going to affect her?

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 24th June, 2024

George is losing a friend, and gets told he will have to give evidence in court.

Characters: Lily, Oliver, Harrison, Chris, George
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Mel Ward
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Very efficient at the Grey Gables Reception phone, Lily schmoozes Mrs Mellors, then tells Oliver that was the lady who is buying Bartleby; she wanted to know whether she could park a horse-box at Grey Gables. To Lily, she sounded really warm; Oliver confides that Emma and George said the same. He thinks the Grundys are going to miss Bartleby. He has just come off the phone with Roy, who is having such a lovely time he doesn't want to come back. He's got some annual leave owing, so he's giving them notice and leaving with immediate effect. Lily doesn't know what to say; nor, less explosively, does Oliver. She doesn't think Grey Gables can run without Roy, or at least, it won't be the same. Oliver knows they will have to recruit a new manager, but that will take a few months and in the meantime he'll have to step up himself. He's done it before, but not quite like this; dubiously, Lily talks up Roy's merits, then changes the subject a little to Lexi. Oliver says that Roy is getting on well with her: he is learning Bulgarian and one of her daughters has him helping out at a local children's centre supporting young people with Down's syndrome. Lily suggests that Bethany will be super-impressed, and Oliver, hearing no evil, agrees that Bethany is and adds that she and Abi will be visiting Roy over the summer, with Vicky and Mike of course. Oliver wishes him the absolute best, of course he does, but it will have an impact at Grey Gables; Lily condescendingly tells him she is sure he'll cope. When he adds the staff will, and her of course, she asks if he has had time to sign her assessment for uni, which she left on his desk yesterday. He hasn't, and asks to be reminded when she finishes her placement; end of next week, she tells him, which adds to his gloom. She then has to answer the phone. He leaves her to it, remarking as he goes that he will arrange a staff meeting later to tell everyone about Roy.

Chris is visiting Harrison, who offers him coffee and tries to persuade him to come to nets. Chris is too busy, though Harrison asks whether the gear shift might not do him good; Chris agrees that it certainly would, but what with Martha... Harrison perfectly understands. They did well without him against Waterley Cross; Chris congratulates him and speaks of Lynda's idea for fancy new kit for cup matches, in pink and lime green. Harrison goes to answer the door; George has brought his veg box and carries it through, then takes advantage of Chris's presence to ask when he is going to trim Bartleby's hooves, which needs doing before Friday. Chris offers half-one on Thursday, and George reckons that will do. Harrison then says he assumes George heard about Alice pleading not guilty, and Chris confirms that's right but he only found out yesterday; George asks what it means. Harrison explains that Joy, Mick, Alistair, Denise and George will probably have to go to court, and Fallon, of course. Chris says he is sorry about that and it won't be easy; when George asks which court, Harrison tells him the Crown Court in Felpersham: a proper trial. George asks if that means she is saying she didn't do it, and Harrison confirms that unbelievably, she is, but tells him is it nothing for him to worry about. George's response is to say he had best get on with his deliveries, and to leave as fast as he can. Once he has gone, Harrison quizzes Chris: so Alice didn't tell him herself? He then starts to tell Chris about reaction in court to Alice saying not guilty, and Chris, slowly and carefully, says that he doesn't know anything about it, because he and Alice only talk about Martha. Harrison tells him that he has been so angry since Friday, and Chris hesitantly says that he gets that; Harrison asks if he has time for a quick chat while Harrison puts the veggies away, and after a pause Chris says he has.

Oliver is in trouble with the printer and spread-sheets, and Lily providentially comes looking for her assessment and is able to help him with the problem. It's the rota for July and August, and Lily reminds him that people already have their rota for the whole summer because after the earlier mix-up she finalised and checked it all for him. He tells her there were a couple of late requests for annual leave so he's had to alter some of the shifts, and after saying she could have helped him with that she points out that he has her covering reception in August when she will have left. Also Veronica has her wrist operation on Monday. Lily then sees her assessment on the cabinet and asks Oliver to sign it. Oliver has a proposal for Lily, something for her to think about: he'd like her to be his assistant until she goes back to university, or until they have a new manager. A paid position, of course. She mentions that she did actually have some plans for the summer; under interested questioning she confesses that it was going to be her 'hot girl summer', which she hastily explains as a running joke between her and Paul. But she was looking forward to some time off. Oliver sympathises: he is going to have to postpone his trip to the States to see his daughter until later in the year; with a large dose of flattery about her abilities he asks her again to consider his offer, and she says that yes, she will absolutely consider it. So if he could just sign her assessment? It does need an actual, physical signature. So here's a pen, and you sign just here. He does as he is told, and she thanks him. Now would he like her to double-check the rota? He says he can do that, and sends her back to Reception, but before she goes she asks what time the staff meeting is, and discovers he has not yet called it; he thanks her for reminding him. He has to finish the rota first. She wishes him good luck and leaves him to start again from scratch.

Having some chard in the veg box is fantastic, according to Harrison. Chris is sorry they haven't managed to catch up for so long, and Harrison agrees it does feel like ages, and when Chris explains that having Martha full time means he has not a minute to think about anything else Harrison accepts that he is flat out. Chris tentatively says he was sorry to hear about Fallon losing the pregnancy, then asks how she's feeling now, and how Harrison is. Harrison supposes they're OK, getting there anyway, though she is not happy about the prospect of having to go to court; there might be no other choice. There's only one person with any choice, and that's Alice. Has Chris really no idea why she's done this? Chris swears he has no clue. Adam mentioned she had some kind of instinct. Harrison would like to know about what. Is she having a laff? Chris doesn't reckon so; he means that it can happen. On the telly maybe, Harrison grumbles. In a swift change of subject, Chris asks about the under-sixteen summer camp Hannah is setting up, and Harrison seems almost relieved to talk about that instead. Chris is just sorry he can't help with it. or play any matches, and Harrison tells him the team is missing him; he points out that they are on a winning streak, which proves they are doing fine without him. Harrison is missing him, anyway, and Chris thanks him, then realises he'll have to scoot: he has to be in Darrington. They agree they'll catch up soon.

George is chatting to Bartleby when Oliver pops home 'to finish some paperwork' and he asks Oliver to take his photo with Bartleby. Oliver asks if he has posted that final video with Eddie, but he's doing it later; he hopes no-one will notice Eddie's voice going all crackly when he kept getting upset, not that he'll admit it. Oliver knows it will be a big wrench for everyone. George feels it is worst for him because he is the one who looks after Bartleby and notices if anything is wrong, and Bartleby does the same for him in a way. Oliver is not surprised: horses can be remarkably intuitive. As George hands his phone over saying that he needs a close up and a mid shot, Oliver tells him the money has arrived from Mrs Mellor. George is surprised, but says she isn't having him until Friday. Then as Oliver starts trying to take the photos Gem distracts Bartleby by whinnying and George despairingly says he's never going to get this photo; to take his mind off it, Oliver says that Eddie mentioned they're doing a farewell tour round the village tomorrow evening with Gem in the trap; George ominously says that's if she's not being too much of a pain, and he'll walk beside them with Bartleby. Jazzer's going to round folk up to say goodbye. Oliver is sure they'll get some good photos then. Poor Gem; she's really going to miss him. George knows; and she's not the only one.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 25th June, 2024

Susan is sadly puzzled, and it's George's turn to change his mind completely.

Characters: Susan, Joy, Jazzer, George, Eddie, Meg
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Mel Ward
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Susan and Joy are stacking the shelves in the shop, and Susan imparts to Joy that Hilary Noakes has been moaning because the General Election means the village hall will be a polling station next Thursday, when her Scottish dance group would have been using it; Joy is sympathetic, Susan is not. Susan then talks about Lynda handing over the fête, and everyone being afraid to ask her about it in case they get lumbered; when Jill was in paying for her papers she did ask, and Lynda said it's already been decided, but she refused to say who is taking over. They speculate a little; it has to be someone on the committee. Eddie was a one-off; Emma's working all hours; Clarrie's got her hands full with the family; in fact most people on the committee are either busy or too distracted. Like yourself, Joy chimes in. Susan says insinuatingly that Lynda's clearly got her eye on someone, someone with enough time for organising the Ambridge fête. Yesterday in the shop she kept glancing round furtively as if she was looking for someone; when Joy, surprised, asks 'did she?', Susan manages to make it clear that she thinks Lynda was looking for Joy. Joy doesn't find this glad tidings in the least. Her protestations are interrupted by Jazzer, who thinks the anointing of Joy by Lynda a cause for merriment. He informs them that the mamils are on their way, then explains that means middle aged men in lycra; Susan at once goes for more energy drinks, since they cleaned out the shop last time. Jazzer and Joy have a quiet laugh at the expense of these men with hairless legs; Joy mentions that Jim is particularly rude about them, while Jazzer contributes that Alistair threatens to join them in order to wind Jim up. Jazzer then buys two tins of beans and advises Joy not to let becoming fête supremo go to her head. She says that she doesn't mind being a helpful assistant, or a trusty lieutenant, but she is really not a general; Jazzer describes himself as merely a disruptor from the sidelines. Joy says her style is team effort, which Jazzer thinks a bit wishy-washy, but when she ponders keeping it very low key he suggests a cost of living fête with prizes that are actually useful rather than pointless ducks and teddies, which strikes Joy as interesting. Jazzer goes to keep an eye out for Bartleby, and will let them know when he arrives.

The ponies are being readied for their triumphal progress, for which Gem will pull the trap and Bartleby walk beside her with George. Meg rings George as they are getting ready to harness Gem; she has arrived in Ambridge, and George asks her to come to collect Bartleby a bit early on Friday so he can tell her all about the animal's foibles and fancies, which she perfectly understands. When she starts to assure George that they will love the pony, George has chokes up and rings off in a way which Eddie thinks a bit abrupt.

Joy has made a cuppa for herself and Susan, and catches Susan miles away, thinking about Alice. Joy is understanding when Susan says she keeps trying to forget about it, agreeing that it hit her for six an'all. Susan knows that Joy was nearly killed, and can't understand how Alice can have the cheek to stand up and deny it. All the chaos and pain she's caused! Susan doesn't know where Alice is any more, except that somehow she gave birth to their precious little grand-daughter. Joy reminds her that Alice is still the same person; Susan keeps going: every time she thinks things are getting better they get a million times worse. Joy responds that's the same for Alice as well – she was doing so well. Susan at once agrees, saying she actually felt like she'd forgiven Alice for when she was out of control last time. Joy recounts seeing them at the playground on Sunday and Alice looking really normal: Alice, Martha and Chris were having a whale of a time and all Joy could see was this happy little family. As Susan asks despondently what they are going to do, Jazzer comes back to announce the imminent arrival of Bartleby, and Susan and Joy go to say goodbye to him.

The farewell tour, complete with decorated trap, has come past the church (where Alan got some children involved) and Jazzer goes on the The Bull to round them up while Joy praises the turnout in general and Eddie waxes lyrical about Bartleby's 'new luxury abode'. George asks what he is on about: he doesn't know any of that, he hasn't been there. Eddie has looked on her website, but George [who knows a thing or two about spin on the internet. Chris] rightly says that means nothing. Susan tells him Emma has checked it out, which George knows; he just feels that Eddie is in fantasyland. The ponies move on to The Bull and Joy and Susan return to the shop. Susan utters the inevitable 'end of an era' and the women agree Bartleby is going to be missed. Susan yawns, then apologises; she and Neil are not sleeping much because they can't see how this situation is going to end. Why can't Alice see how much she's hurting everyone? Joy reckons she knows, and that's some of why she's drinking. None of them can know what's going on in her head; all Susan and Neil can do is make sure young Martha's OK, and she is, isn't she? Susan says she has her moments; mostly she's coping brilliantly, but only because Christopher's been quietly supervising their visits. Ambridge View and Emma and Ed's place have become Martha's second homes. Joy assures her that surrounded by that love, by her family, is what a child needs, especially when things get tricky. Susan feels it's not easy: the other night Martha said Susan didn't read her bed-time story as well as Harry. Harry! That awful, hopeless excuse for a man! Susan wanted to throw the book in the bin there and then. She didn't, Joy says, because she loves Martha and doesn't want her upset, like the wonderful Nana she is.

Eddie was impressed by how well Gem pulled the trap but is unsure she'll ever do as well again without Bartleby beside her. Eddie says Bartleby is a rock, and they all need one of those, with which sentiment George agrees; then Eddie remembers that he wanted to check something with George, about Alice Carter and her not guilty plea – which he describes as plain ridiculous because she's got no chance. Anyroad, Eddie is just checking George knows he'll have to go to Felpersham now, which George knew because Harrison told him, and stand in the witness box answering some nonsense questions. George isn't sure what he means, so Eddie expands on what he's said: some legal eagle does their best to trip you up. This alarms George, who repeats it, so Eddie expands that too: catch you out, yeah. He gives an example: 'so, Mr Grundy, you said the vehicle hit the bridge when in fact it collided with the bridge' and describes it as 'that kind of rubbish'. George objects that those mean the same thing, and Eddie cheerfully asserts that George might think that, but they'll try and run rings round him: hasn't he seen it on the telly? George affirms that he knows what a trial is, and Eddie says good, and that was all he was asking. You can't trust these establishment types. George repeats that he knows that: you can't trust nobody. Eddie then goes off on an old theme: now, about the money for Bartleby. They could buy more pigs. George thinks this a rubbish idea: how is that to do with great-grandad Joe? Eddie doesn't know; George, indignant, says it's got nothing to do with him, and Eddie, all conciliation, says it is just an idea. In a voice of desperation George wants to know why nobody can listen when it's not that hard, it's really not. That's it; he's had enough. As Eddie asks in alarm what he is doing, he dials on his phone while wondering aloud why anyone thought this was a good idea. When Meg Mellor answers, and after a silence asks him if everything is OK, he tells her that actually it's not: sorry and all that, but the deal's off. As she asks in confusion what he means, and Eddie asks what he is playing at, George says with finality that she can't have Bartleby. She expresses disappointment, and he tells her that he has decided Bartleby's too old to move so he's not letting him go, all right? No way.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 26th June, 2024

Lynda has the wind taken out of her sails, and Lily just can't make her mind up.

Characters: Joy, Lynda, Mick, Freddie, Lily, Kirsty
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Mel Ward
Editor: Jeremy Howe

When Lynda calls on Joy, Joy pretends to surprise at first and offers her tea, but soon makes it clear that not only does she know (thanks to Susan) that Lynda proposes to land her with running the fête, she also has plenty of idea for it and Lynda really doesn't need to instruct her, by immediately unleashing Jazzer's plan about the Cost of Living Fête, no fripperies allowed. Lynda is taken aback; she came prepared to condescend and instruct, and it is being made clear that won't be necessary. She reverts to her original script, disregarding the fact that it is no longer relevant, and explains she won't be organising the fête this year but wants to pass it on to Joy. Joy says they are ahead of her; she's glad Susan was right, otherwise she'd have done a load of thinking for nothing. When Lynda asks if she is ready to accept the mantle, she says cheerfully that she's already wearing it, which puts Lynda out: she wasn't aware she had taken it off. Joy kindly says that while Lynda is on hand, she will check what needs doing. Lynda assures her she will remain on hand; she proceeds to tell her that the first thing on her to-do list is to recruit some helpers. Joy lists some helpers she has, and what they are doing. One is Mick for the donkey-work, and as Lynda says that liaison requires finely-honed skills Mick rings Joy about the musical entertainment. Joy puts him on speaker, telling him Lynda is there; Lynda tells him that she can save him his most important phone call because she has heard, on good authority, that the Hollerton Silver Band are otherwise engaged; Mick knew this. Lynda informs them that band has signed up for another fête which, infuriatingly enough, is on the same day. Mick has tried other bands but they too are tied up. Joy assumes they will have to do without, but Lynda finds that unthinkable: you must have music at such an event! Mick agrees, and will ring round some other possibles when he has a minute, and let Joy know how he gets on. He rings off. Lynda reveals to Joy that Pip mentioned that Loxley Barrett Primary have recently assembled a ukulele band. Joy suggests those are quite hard to play well, but Lynda is not sure beggars can be choosers. Joy suggests that Lynda might jot down a few 'things to remember' for her and offers to get her a pen and paper; the suggestion she might 'jot' a 'few' down offends Lynda: there is an entire drawer in her filing cabinet devoted to the Ambridge fête! Joy reckons that by the time she goes through all that the fête will be over, and Lynda, snyffing a mighty snyff, haughtily agrees to endeavour to create a précis of key points ay ess ay pee, for which Joy thanks her with apparent sincerity. She holds out hope to Joy that even if this year's fête doesn't attain peak excellence, next year's, or more likely the year after, might be back up to scratch. Carelessly, Joy remarks that actually she is feeling really positive and thinks taking charge of the fête might do her good. Lynda solemnly implores her not to underestimate the task at hand, which really is mammoth; Joy rejoins that she is very pleased to say that Lynda's mammoth mantle is fitting very nicely.

As they have lunch together, Freddie is unhelpfully 'helpful' to Lily in her indecision about whether or not to take the job at Grey Gables, pointing out every possible argument; in return she tells him about the non-sale of Bartleby, and Freddie describes George as 'a bit erratic'. Charitably, Lily attributes his indecision to him not being over the whole crash thing, which Freddie agrees might take ages. Lily continues to vacillate about whether or not she wants to work at Grey Gables; Freddie points out she only went there to find out why Lower Loxley staff were defecting. She did succeed in keeping a couple of events for them, but not the Milo Haywood thing: Elizabeth is fuming about that because she has been trying to set up a foraging event with him for ages. Lily says she parked her sabotage mission for a while because everyone there is so lovely and she was learning loads from Roy, and now he's left Oliver will struggle horribly on his own: someone's going to have to save him. She havers repeatedly, and Freddie continues to be no particular help, though he reminds her that since she invited him to lunch, she will be paying.

The departure of Roy is occasioning telephone gossip between Kirsty and Lynda about love's young dream; well the middle-aged version, as Kirsty remarks. She is going to collect his address-book from Grey Gables, and invites Lynda to join their video call with him in the evening: Lynda delightedly accepts.

Also at Grey Gables, Mick is explaining to Lily why his time-sheets always come to the same amount, while she tries to convince him that the work logs are of no use if they are not accurate and sending an identical log every week renders them pointless. He agrees, and, as he breezes away, suggests she could ask Oliver not to bother. Lily's response is a heart-felt 'give me strength', and when Kirsty comes in at that moment she remarks that Lily looks a bit bamboozled, which Lily thinks a perfect description. She explains to Kirsty that she is trying to make up her mind about taking Oliver up on his offer of a job as Oliver's assistant, and how the trouble is that she has just been the work-experience girl for the last few months so no-one takes her seriously. Kirsty doubts that, and Lily brightly asks what she can do for her. It seems that Roy thinks he left his address-book in his locker but has taken the locker-key to Bulgaria; Lily will get the master-key from Oliver later and have a look. When Kirsty tells Lily how loved up Roy seems to be, Lily wistfully expresses an interest in hearing all about it, so Kirsty invites her too to the video call, at about sixish; Lily is delighted, and will bring the address-book with her.

A rather oily 'good afternoon, Joy' from Lynda startles Joy thoroughly; Lynda has Monty with her, and Joy gets licked before Lynda can call him back. Joy is struggling with ground elder, and has Lynda's sympathy for that. Lynda embarks on an account of having bumped into Ruth, who messaged Pip, who asked at the school – who swallowed a fly, adds Joy, I don't know why she swallowed the fly; Lynda completely fails to follow, and even when Joy explains that the rhythm was perfect can't see that it was relevant. Joy jokingly suggests the blood must have gone to her head with all the bending down, and Lynda reprovingly gets back to her sentence, explaining who is in charge of the group; just as she is telling Joy that Pip has written Miss Duncan's number down for her Mick comes up saying that Lynda is just the person he wants to see. As soon as she sees him Lynda tells him they may have solved the band problem, but he tells her she has been gazumped: the cornerstone of the Ambridge fête 2024 is The Borchester Found In A Skip Band. Lynda has no idea what he is talking about, so he explains that all the instruments are made from found items. Joy is ecstatic: like a sort of junk band, she's read about them. Old rubbish bins ... Lynda echoes this in horror, and Mick cuts in with metal pipes, corrugated plastic... Lynda groans, but Joy exclaims that she loves it, and it is perfect for their 'cost of living' theme. She implores Mick to tell her he booked them; he has indeed, on the spot. She thanks him delightedly, then condescendingly tells Lynda that she doesn't think they'll be needing the ukuleles.

The aftermath of the video call [which for obvious, sad reasons had to take place without Roy/Ian Pepperell. Chris] produces from Lynda the statement that she's never seen Roy so relaxed, and happy. As they decide to finish the Prosecco Lily remembers she meant to ask Roy's opinion on her job offer, and Kirsty suggests messaging him now, he won't mind; all three women start to speak fondly of Grey Gables, but Lily worries that if Oliver's not on the ball like Roy, which he's not... The doorbell rings and Kirsty goes to answer it, while Lily explains that the stress over the summer may become impossible in that case. Freddie has come bearing gifts: Roy messaged him and asked him to surprise them with some Bulgarian treats from the deli in Borchester [not the dairy, as the BBC synopsis has it. Chris]: there are banitsas and a bottle of Rakia. Amidst general approval, Kirsty goes for more glasses just as Roy replies to Lily's message: he says that he told Oliver to offer her the job. Kirsty at once says she will have to take it now, and Lily thinks that she will. Freddie applauds: finally, a decision. Lily tells him to shut up, Lynda says that Roy can be very wise, and Kirsty has to agree: he has just messaged her, as well, saying 'Now I'm with my soul-mate, Kirsty, it's your turn to find yours.' The company drinks to that, and to Roy.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 27th June, 2024

George has another change of heart, and Miranda seeks advice.

Characters: Lilian, Miranda, George, Susan, Will, Justin
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Mel Ward
Editor: Jeremy Howe

A rather edgy encounter in the Bridge Farm shop between Lilian and Miranda leads to Miranda asking Lilian if they could meet for coffee later because she needs some advice: Brian was nicely rested until they got home and now is not. Lilian is surprised she would ask for advice from her, but Miranda says he is very upset; Lilian concedes that they all are. Miranda doesn't know how to help him and asks if they can please put aside their fencing foils just for a short while, because they really do need to put their heads together. Lilian will let her know when she is free: would the tea-room suit her? Perfect, according to Miranda, who thanks her. As Miranda leaves, Lilian greets George, who has been stocking up the beetroot. George is being touchy, and Lilian apologises to him about everything to do with Alice: she realises her niece has caused quite a lot of stress for him recently [has she? How, this past six weeks or so? Chris]; George in turn asks if The Stables is all clear of strangles, and Lilian tells him they've had no new cases for three weeks. George hopes they will be starting lessons again soon because Keira is missing them; Lilian says she's a nice little rider with lots of potential, but George then adds that is if she's allowed back, and he doesn't know why folk have to chat rubbish on-line and get all aggy. It don't help no-one, he says gloomily. Lilian is not sure she follows, but a message to George's phone summons him because Tony needs him in the shed, and he goes off without explaining, leaving her to muse that what he said was strange.

The shop is still a target for the mamils, whom Susan describes as like multi-coloured locusts, and she comes back from checking the energy bars to serve Will some chewing-gum. Will wonders why they are suddenly coming through Ambridge; Susan has established that a local blog recommended it as a fast-paced route for touring the countryside. He also wonders if she heard about Roy staying in Bulgaria, which of course she has: Neil rang Mike, who is sounding positive about it. Will remarks on 'good old Mike', and Susan asks how George is. Will's 'hnuh' tells her the Bartleby sale is definitely still off, and she tells him Clarrie's completely baffled and Emma is beside herself. [Why? She wanted to keep the animal. Chris.] Apparently George reckons that everyone who voted to sell is just plain greedy, and Will can't get through to him. No-one can.

Lilian is making a video for one of the horses' owners [the horse is Sadie, whom we have met before, injured because of Alice making a bad decision. Chris] and before she had pressed stop Justin makes a comment about it being embarrassing, so she tells him he will have to edit that out before he sends it. When he asks why him, she reminds him that it is his phone they are using because he always says it is far superior to hers. She now proposes to check their socials, because of the very odd thing George said, but Justin thinks they need a quick chat about Carlotta: Sal Blakedown's reference for her came in and it is outstanding. Lilian concedes that Sal isn't known for handing out compliments, and Justin feels that Carlotta remains the top candidate for their manager rôle by a country mile. Temporary manager, insists Lilian. Justin's main point is that crucially, she can start very soon. Lilian still wonders if Alice will soon come back sober, but realises that's not likely: she's not even replying to messages any more. Justin simply feels that they need help, and now: they are utterly drained from all the work they have to do at The Stables; even Francesca and Joanne are struggling, and they are decades younger. He begs Lilian to let him ring Carlotta and tell her the job is hers. Lilian sticks to her guns: only until Alice is back. Justin agrees that he will say 'six weeks minimum and we'll take it from there.'

George having a colloquy with Bartleby is interrupted by Susan, who has come to bring the pony some knobbly carrots which Pat thought might cheer him up; George seems to take pleasure in telling her they are not on Bartleby's diet and he's not allowed them. Anyway, George asserts, he doesn't need cheering up: he's glad he is staying. Susan agrees, but dubiously. George further insists that Bartleby is too old to move, and Joe would have got that. She agrees, but ruminates that his grandma is worried about the vet's bills, which will only get bigger. George argues that he is working extra at Bridge Farm to cover those, which Susan counters with his Mum's concern that the more work he is doing, the less he can be there for Bartleby. George just tells her that he knows what's best for Bartleby and it's obvious this is the right decision; she wishes things like that were obvious, knowing what's best for other people, and when George wants to know what she means she apologises: she was just thinking about Martha. George mutters that it's not her fault her mum's a boozer, but Susan knows that you never know how these things affect children. George suggests bringing her over to see Bartleby, forgetting that she doesn't really like horses; when reminded, he says it might do her good, and Susan has another chance to ask how we can know something like that. George tells her that's a bit deep, and she carries it a step further: that's the trouble. Even when people want to do the right thing, like for Bartleby and for Martha, they all have different ideas about what that is. George guesses that's true, and she asks rhetorically how one knows what to do; he tells her not to ask him, and suggests you are meant to know these things by her age, to which she laughs and says 'if only!' She's afraid it never gets any easier, and it's so hard knowing which way to go sometimes: how can you know if your instincts are wrong and everyone else's are right? She then says sorry and that she's not making much sense, but George gets what she is on about, or at least he thinks he does, and she hammers the point home: these things are not about what we want, that's all she's saying. Anyway, she's sure whatever he decides he'll make it work somehow, she adds as she wanders away.

When Lilian asks how Justin got on with Carlotta he says he has arranged for her induction on Thursday and start the week after, and feels they will be very glad to have her when they lift their lockdown, as well as getting an idea how she operates just in case, well, Lilian knows. Their first priority has to be preserving the business. Oh, and he has solved her little puzzle: there has been a thread about riding schools, in particular a back-and-forth about whether Alice was drunk during lessons. He draws Lilian's horrified attention to posts from Emma Grundy saying that she could have been, though in reply to Lilian's indignant comment that she's supposed to be family he does suggest Emma got drawn into a spat. The posts cannot be deleted because it's not their site, and replying to them would make matters worse because the thread has moved on. Lilian points out that looking on line is how people choose a riding school, but Justin reassures her that he knows how to make this go away.

The rendezvous at the tea-room now includes Susan, who invites Lilian to sit with her; Lilian is carrying a skinny latte for Miranda and a full-fat cappuccino for Lilian. Susan asks if things between Lilian and Miranda are still awkward, and just as Miranda arrives Lilian admits she would be glad of Susan's company, but that Miranda is worried about Brian. When she has been given her coffee both Lilian and Susan ask after Brian, and whether he is OK; she replies that he is beside himself, especially now Alice won't let him go round: Lilian says she has been the same with all of them. Brian has been leaving supplies on her doorstep in case she doesn't feel like going out. Susan realistically points out that she is going out to buy alcohol; Lilian describes this as self-medicating and says she must eat, and Susan repeats 'self-medicating' with scorn. Adam has been using his key to check her post, and Brian spent yesterday phoning round rehab centres looking for spaces; Lilian tells her he doesn't need to worry about Alice's job because they have temporary cover but as soon as she's back... Miranda thinks he will be so relieved. He can't concentrate: Alice is all he thinks about from morning till night, and Miranda is at a loss. Lilian suggests that the best thing she can do is try to encourage him not to keep blaming himself; that totally saps one's energy, which doesn't help anyone. Susan now asks how long they can keep Alice's job open for her, and Lilian says as long as it takes, Miranda adding that it's now just down to Alice. Susan repeats 'It's all down to Alice' in a somewhat disapproving way.

Watched by George and Will, Gem is throwing her hay around and whinnying, and Will remarks that Bartleby doesn't even notice and they are a funny pair. George asks if Meg Mellor has gone home now, but no: Mick is still keeping an eye on her horse-box in the Grey Gables car-park. Oliver plans to zap her money back to her tomorrow. Mick reckons her dad used to keep Welsh ponies and that's why she loves them so much; her dad sounds a lot like Joe. Anyroad, Will remarks, all that matters is Bartleby and who's best to look after him. If George thinks that's him, then Will respects him for it. If George is willing to be there for him whenever he needs him There is a silence, and then George voices his thoughts: the trouble is that he can't be, can he, what with work and all that. Will is sure he'll do his best, but George now sees the problems: is that enough? Specially when Meg's got that whole amazing set-up and plenty of money for the vet bills. Will agrees that's true. Right then, they've got to do the right thing for Bartleby: George is calling Meg.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 28th June, 2024

Susan waxes exasperated, and Bartleby is finally off to his new home.

Characters: Meg, Lynda, Neil, Eddie, George, Susan
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Mel Ward
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The lane [which lane, for heaven's sake? Surely not the one leading to Grey Gables; that's not at all appropriate for a luxury hotel. Chris] is too narrow for Lynda and Meg to pass, so Meg has given way and Lynda edges by on her bicycle, which Meg describes as 'handsome' She asks Lynda whether Grange Farm is first right after the church, and Lynda at once realises that she must be Mrs Mellor and introduces herself. She gathers the Bartleby affair is back on track, and Meg says she has fallen in love with the old pony; Lynda says she will see her at Grange Farm because she is popping over there at one.

People have been coming to say 'goodbye' to Bartleby all morning, and Neil and Eddie are still there with him, supporting George and reassuring him that Meg is a caring person. Neil understands how difficult it will be for George to hand him over, but the pony will be in good hands. George knows that, and Neil goes to get some lunch before he gets back to Berrow. He pats the pony and takes his leave, and Eddie remarks ruefully that they are all going to blub before the day's out. To cheer them up he offers another idea for how to spend the money: Joe loved his cider, so how about a new cider press? George reminds him that he has always said the old press makes the best cider, but adds he is getting close to a good idea. Meg then arrives, right on time.

As he is waiting for his lunch Neil remarks to Susan that he was proud of George this morning: he's growing up at last. Having informed him what she has got for his lunch she tells him that Christopher is taking Martha to the playground with Alice again after work, but when he says that's nice she asks darkly if it is. Neil reminds her that after Sunday Christopher said it was like they were a little family again, and then, when Susan makes a dubious noise, realises that you can see him trying just to wish it all away and says you can't blame him for that. After all, they both know how he really feels about Alice, still, despite everything that's happened. Susan agrees, but adds that Neil said it himself: Christopher isn't seeing things clearly at the moment, so maybe the two of them need to stand back and think about how best to protect him and Martha. Only neither of them can think what to do. Susan feels sad about how different things could have been for Martha, born into the sort of privilege Alice was, and when Neil philosophically remarks that you never can tell how things will turn out but just have to get on with it, Susan says she is starting to wonder how 'getting on with it' is helping anyone.

High-fibre cubes mixed with chaff are what Meg has brought as a treat for Bartleby, perfect for senior digestion; more importantly, he likes them. Eddie asks if she has been running her veterans' home for long, and the answer is nearly twelve years; she and her late husband were both from farming stock, and he was trainer working with racehorses for many years. Meg was always more interested in the horses than the racing, so when they packed up they naturally took a couple of the retired ones with them. They thought they'd all grow old together, but then her husband died very suddenly (Eddie says he is sorry, just as one ought) and she didn't want to do anything without him, but it was the horses that got her through. George asks if that is why she started the home, and she says yes: she used the money he left her to buy some more land, and it wasn't long before she acquired a cheeky Welsh pony and then a retired Shire horse; so that was the beginning. And they are all growing old together, she muses. She does hope George will trust her with Bartleby: she truly believes he will be happy in their strange but loving little family. George gruffly says that he reckons he will. Eddie then produces Lynda's present for Bartleby, which she said she couldn't resist. Meg says it's an impressive stable rug, and Eddie informs her that Emma and Edward gave Lynda his height and weight [which are not how you measure a horse for a stable rug, even if you know the animal's weight which I can think of no particular reason the Grundys would. Chris] so it should be the right size. It's in bright colours, and Eddie wonders whether the new kit for the cricket team will be like that, explaining (quite as if Meg will be interested) that Lynda plans to get them dazzling new kit, literally, though Eddie has warned her that William says he's not wearing anything too whacky. Meg politely makes appropriate noises, George says Meg doesn't need to hear about their village cricket, and Meg assures them she is fascinated and would love to come and watch their team one day. Eddie assures her she would be welcome, and George, ignoring the cricket, says that he quite likes the rug. Meg reverts to the subject: she has George's notes in the car, about what Bartleby likes and doesn't like, and George adds hoof-picking to the list, hates it: as do many of our veterans, so he'll be in good company, she assures George, going to fetch her note-book in case there is anything else to be added. As soon as she is gone Eddie reverts to what he is most interested in: spending the money. They could plant some apple trees for their cider. George graciously deigns to admit that he quite likes that idea, then suggests they could get a nice bit of marble for great-grandpa Joe's grave. Eddie muses that Bert Fry has no marble: he can see Joe now, all peaceful, giving him a cheeky wink; the two laugh.

Susan can't get yesterday's conversation about Alice between Lilian and Miranda out of her mind; Brian taking food over, Adam checking her post, Lilian holding her job open... Neil cuts in to say that she's got a lot of people who love her and they all want to support her, and that includes them, and Christopher; they're all doing what they can. Susan wonders if it is what Alice needs: if everyone's bending over backwards to support her, why would she do anything different? Neil grunts thoughtfully, and she continues: what is actually stopping Alice buying another bottle of vodka, or stopping her pouring herself another glass? Neil grunts again, adding that he doesn't know. Susan is still working it out: no-one is even questioning Alice's behaviour, as if they're treading on eggshells in case she gets worse, but how can she even get any worse? Neil hates to say it, but Alice can get a lot worse: the fact that she's seeing Martha pretty-much every day and managing to be dressed and washed ready is not to be scoffed at. It's actually quite an achievement. Rubbish, exclaims Susan: this was a bright young mother full of energy, raising her daughter, keeping her home nice, running a business, even in charge of staff, all that and more, but they're supposed to be grateful that she gets in the shower and manages not to slur her speech for half an hour? Neil honestly doesn't think it's as simple as that, and now that she's pleaded not guilty there's a very real chance that she will go to prison. Shrilly, Susan suggests that she's bound to go to prison, and it's anyone's guess what happens then, it really is. It can completely finish people off, especially if they're vulnerable to start with, and then where are they? Neil grunts yet again, then starts to muse that unless someone manages to persuade her to change her plea, but is interrupted: that won't happen, will it, because that 'not guilty' plea is yet more proof that she's in complete denial. Neil suggests Brian might find her a legal team that can get her off, but Susan's view is, even if they did, what then? What stops her from having another drink? Absolutely nothing. When everyone's basically excusing her behaviour, what is it that makes Alice sit up and think? (Yet again, Neil grunts.) Why should she bother taking responsibility? Neil protests that they know nothing about alcoholism [because none of them has made the slightest effort to find out; there are support groups for the families of alcoholics, as well as for the alcoholics themselves. Chris] but Susan rejoins that she knows way more than she wants to and so does he. Neil is not to be deflected this time: what they say is, once someone hits rock bottom that's when they grasp the nettle. Susan points out that Alice will never hit rock bottom: no-one is letting her. Neil needs to process this: let's say she does, he suggests, what impact would that have on Martha? And how, in heaven's name, would it make anything easier for their son? It would be awful, she knows. Neil knows Christopher would have to pick up the pieces, and so would they. He gets what she's saying, but this is Christopher's life they're talking about. Susan is not convinced he knows any more than they do about the rights and wrongs of all this: he's too upset to see any of it clearly. Neil still thinks they should be led by him, put his needs first. Susan thinks that is what they are doing; and all the time, Alice 'self-medicates' into a stupor not half a mile from where they are sitting. Her phone sounds: it's Chris, and he's had some evening appointments come in, and wants them to supervise Martha's visits with Alice next week. Neil groans, and as Susan says 'oh dear' tells her Martyn's insisting on going through next year's projections so Neil will be working late all week, but if Susan's not comfortable doing it they could try asking Kate. Susan tells him not to be silly: of course she'll do it. Neil is sure that whatever they think, Martha's relationship with her mum is still really important; Susan knows, and that's why she'll do it, but she has to wonder if, for all their noble intentions, they're not just prolonging the inevitable. Neil grunts, and Susan questions that if what they are doing is enabling Alice to carry on drinking, how is that helping Martha?

George is seeing Bartleby off, and having a last word with him. Outside the box, Eddie is giving Meg directions; inside it, George is telling Bartleby how weird it is going to be but that Bartleby will get used to it and it won't take long. He thanks the pony for listening these past few weeks, and not judging: he couldn't have got through it without Bartleby. Meg is all right and she'll look after him OK. He drags himself away, he and Eddie close up the box behind him, and in a cloud of farewells Meg drives off.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 30th June, 2024

Harrison has little interest in justice, only the law, and Justin does some blackmailing.

Characters: Harrison, Chris, Ed, Emma, Susan, Justin
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Layton Cross have won their last four cricket matches because they have a new wunderkind who scored a century against Darrington playing for them, but Harrison apparently regards Chris as Ambridge's secret weapon: it's good to have him back. Chris enquires how Fallon is doing, and is told she's all right as she can be and might come over later. Their happy pre-match banter is rather marred when Chris mentions that he has been thinking about the court case, Alice pleading not guilty and that, and wondering if there is more to it than the obvious. Harrison is impatient with that: Alice was drunk driving and as far as he is concerned it's clear that flat statement is all there is to know. When Chris starts to say 'but' Harrison cuts him off: but nothing. She crashed into another car because she was four times over the limit. Chris knows that, but it's like Harrison says: why would she plead not guilty? Maybe there are, well, mitigating circumstances. Harrison's 'like what' brings him to the police having found a cider bottle in the car, and Harrison adds the of vodka bottle. Both empty, Chris notes, adding that's a bit weird. Why would Alice buy cider to go with vodka? It's not like it's a mixer. Harrison snaps that she's an alcoholic and will drink whatever she can get her hands on, but Chris points out she got her hands on a bottle of vodka, and doubts her also wanting one random bottle of fruit cider. Harrison says look, mate, all he knows is she was behind the wheel, and if she had any conscience at all she'd be holding her hands up to what she's done, not dragging people through it all over again. He then stalks away saying the umpire is ready for the toss, leaving Chris to sigh ruefully.

Ed and Emma embark on their first real job, trimming some trees for Justin at mates' rates; Emma plans to ask him for a good review afterwards. Ed is going up the tree while Emma waits below outside the drop zone. Both are cheerful, though Emma has been being melancholy about Bartleby's departure. She is worried about George: it's like he'd lost his best friend, because they'd always been close for the whole of George's life. Emma is having to beg time off from the tea-room more and more often, and feels a bit bad about letting Fallon down, though as Ed says, she's got Chelsea. No sooner has Ed started cutting than Justin appears, seemingly from nowhere, shouting to him to stop: what on earth is he doing?

The cricket has gone well for Christopher, according to his mother, and the team has a score of 176. She asks if he has fallen out with Harrison, who threw his bat crossly after Christopher got him run out. Susan is sure it was more than just a dodgy call; she won't accept any excuse Chris gives her, because she can tell something's up and he might as well tell her what it is. Chris explains about having mentioned mitigating circumstances in Alice's case. Susan hisses 'what are you playing at?' and he tells her he just wants to know what happened, because some stuff about that night just doesn't make sense. Susan says his name in an exasperated tone, and he begs her to listen: that cider bottle they found in the car... What about it? she asks. Alice doesn't drink cider, he explains patiently, but Susan is unconvinced: not usually, maybe, but that cider had been on special offer in the shop for weeks and she could have bought it any time. She knows it's hard to accept what's happened and it's been a shock to all of them, she can understand him wanting to look for answers, but it's important that he doesn't let it come between him and Harrison. Alice has caused enough upset already. Why doesn't he see if Harrison wants to go for a pint after the match?

Emma is desperately trying to remind Justin of what they agreed the job was to consist of, but can produce no actual proof that a metre off the top and sides of these three trees was what was said. Justin denies it and says he just wanted the overhanging branches pruned. He asks if they don't usually confirm the agreed work in writing, but they Emma admits they didn't for such a small and straightforward job; Justin goes on the attack about her doing it because he wasn't paying the full rate. which she indignantly denies. Ed says it could have been worse: at least he'd only done one branch. Justin grudgingly allows that he should be thankful for that. Emma still can't understand how this has happened, and Justin attributes it to a simple misunderstanding and thinks it lucky he came out when he did. Ed says sadly that he supposes that's their five-star review out of the window, and Justin agrees that he doesn't see how he could give them an entirely positive review. Although he knows only too well how damning bad reviews can be for business: he and Lilian have some experience in this area, unfortunately. Ed swallows the bait and asks about that, so Justin explains that since The Stables went into lock-down, some of their clients have taken to the internet to air their frustrations; Ed mumbles something, and Justin continues that he wouldn't mind if the allegations were true, but they aren't, as he explains; unfortunately these people don't let the truth stand in the way of their mud-clinging. Emma now gives away that she knows exactly what he is talking about by interjecting that they are probably worried about Alice's relapse; Justin gently points out that Alice is no longer working at The Stables, which surprises Emma. No, no, she's been on leave for some time; Justin would hope people would realise this and remove their negative comments, but so far... Hopefully, Emma says through gritted teeth, as word spreads, they will. Ed, over whose head this has all passed effortlessly, asks what Justin does want doing with these trees, and surprise! he wants exactly what Emma thought in the first place, a metre off their sides and tops. If it's satisfactory he can see his way to leaving a favourable review. Ed thanks him sincerely; Emma perhaps not so much so.

The drinks have duly been bought, and Chris apologises for earlier, and Harrison apologises for throwing his toys out of the pram; he's just been so churned up at the thought of the court case. Chris tells him he's been wondering, what if there was someone in the car with her? Someone who drinks cider? Like Harry Chilcott. This is a new thought to Harrison, so Chris goes on: his mum said Martha had been talking about Harry, even though she hasn't seen him for months, but maybe she has seen him after all; what if he was on the scene when Alice started drinking again? What if he was with Alice when she crashed? Harrison gives it thought: there was no sign of him when Alistair and George got there; Chris suggests he could have scarpered. He could have, according to Harrison, but it was still Alice driving. Chris still doesn't think she'd drive after a bottle of vodka unless someone persuaded her – not that it's not her responsibility, because it is. Harrison wonders whether he would really do that, and Chris reckons he would because he's spineless. He only spoke up at Harrison's tribunal to get back in Alice's good books, and it did. It's his fault Alice is drinking at all. Harrison thinks he might be getting carried away and clutching at straws



Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 1st July, 2024

Chris and Paul both have disappointing evenings, while Susan and Josh dispense unwanted advice.

Characters: Susan, Chris, Paul, Josh, Harry
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Martha is still napping when Chris arrives home and Susan explains that a walk to see Ed's Texels tired her out. Chris is earlier than Susan expected: she hasn't even started Martha's tea yet. Chris says he's only popped home to get changed as he has a late appointment and had been going to ring and ask if she could hang on to Martha for an hour. Susan is instantly suspicious, demands chapter and verse, and is unconvinced by 'a new horse, over beyond Hollerton'. Before coming clean. Chris warns his mother she's not going to like it: he's going to see Harry. Susan protests, but Chris is adamant. He reckons Harry was in the car that night, and one of his clients has told him that famous three-day eventer Harry Chilcott will be giving out prizes at an event today – that is, if he manages not to fall over during the ceremony. Susan is horrified, but Chris assures her he won't accost him while he's actually handing out awards, he'll catch him as he leaves. Susan thinks this is a terrible idea. Chris concedes she is probably right but he's going to do it anyway: he has to know if Harry was there that night and the only way he can be sure is to look him in the face and ask him. So, will Susan look after Martha? No, she won't. They can drop her with Neil on the way: if she can't talk Chris out of it, she's coming with him.

In the kitchen at The Stables, Josh tells Paul that the only way he could tell Paul and Lily had come home last night was the glitter all over the place. Paul says he is still covered in it and it's just as well his mum and Alistair are away on a training course: they wouldn't have been too impressed with the state he was in at work today, yawning and moulting glitter. This is the aftermath of the Felpersham Pride parade. Paul reckons they danced from midday until about four in the morning and generally had a great time – but they missed Josh. Josh, however, is philosophical: he's in his parents' good books for helping with a wedding, and he got a hundred quid in tips. Paul, by contrast, will be living on beans on toast until payday, but claims it was worth it. Josh asks how Lily enjoyed herself and Paul informs him she hooked up with the only straight guy in the club. Josh scoffs. Lily fell for that? Going to a gay bar to pick up girls is the oldest trick in the book. Paul protests that he seemed really nice; he doesn't think Lily plans to keep in touch, though. Josh enquires whether Paul was fighting them off and learns that four guys did give him their contact details. But, while it's nice to get attention, Paul won't be getting in touch with any of them – Josh knows his views on him and Etienne being 'open'. Dropping the bantering tone, Josh asks how things are on that front. It turns out that Paul too has only dropped home to change: they're going to 'couples therapy', which Paul booked a couple of weeks ago in response to Etienne's unilateral declaration of an open relationship; Etienne was really sweet about it, he says, and agreed that talking to a professional someone might be helpful. Josh is sceptical but Paul says he feels good about it: it feels like the grown-up thing to do.

At the event venue, Chris addresses 'Harry Chilcott' in a menacing tone. He declines Harry's invitation to join him in a ginger beer [We've done the Pride stuff already, ffs. Gus] and cuts off small talk about the event. He's not there as a farrier: he needs to talk to Harry. He was there, wasn't he? There with Alice, that night. Harry asks if Chris is all right and, sensibly, steers him to a more private location. Chris isn't surprised Harry doesn't want his mates hearing what he has to say. Harry denies the bystanders are his mates: he barely knows them, and he also doesn't know what Chris wants to say. 'Really?' Chris sneers. Harry says he can see Chris is angry but… Chris reiterates that Harry was there, that night, with Alice. 'What night?' Harry asks (not unreasonably). The night of the crash, Chris insists; Harry saw his chance and legged it, leaving her unconscious, didn't he? What crash, Harry asks. Is Alice all right? Of course she isn't, Chris snarls, she's a total mess: she might even go to jail! Harry again asks if she is OK and Chris concedes that she is, physically. Harry is patently relieved to hear this, and asks what happened. 'You really don't know?' Chris asks. No, Harry doesn't – and why would Chris think he did? Chris tells her Alice had been drinking, which is evidently unwelcome news to Harry, and then gives Harry a rundown of events. Alice had been drinking, she drove, crashed into another car which went into the water; if there hadn't been people passing… Harry is horrified and says he actually can't believe Alice was drinking. Bitterly, Chris assures him that Alice is indeed drinking: she's completely fallen apart. 'Because of me? That's what you think, isn't it?' Harry asks, going on to say that he doesn't blame Chris for thinking that; in fact, he agrees. If Alice hadn't met him… Chris asserts she has lost everything: she's not working, she can't look after Martha, there's a real chance she could go to prison, and she's right back in that place where drinking is all she cares about. It's terrifying to watch, but that's all they can do, just stand by as she drifts further and further away from them. Harry says he is sorry, and sounds it; it's down to Alice he got his own life sorted out, and he never imagined she would go back to it; but that's stupid, because he knows none of 'us' are ever really home and, um, dry. And how is Chris? Not great, Chris says. Harry can imagine how devastating it is for Chris, and for Martha too, and asks how Martha is. Chris starts to answer, catches himself, and flatly states that Martha is nothing to do with Harry. Harry accepts this - 'quite right ' - and again tells Chris he is so sorry. Chris says he needs to go home. 'If there's anything I can do' offers Harry, but Chris says there's nothing he can do. There's nothing anyone can do.

Josh tells the returning Paul he's just in time for bolognaise: he's just waiting for Lily to come out of the shower to put the pasta on; there's garlic bread too, and they're going to watch Bridget Jones. Paul says he's all right, thanks and, when Josh presses him, pettishly announces that he's not hungry and will just go to his room. Josh asks what's wrong. Nothing: Paul's fine. This has the desired result, and Josh tries again; what happened? Nothing happened, Paul snaps, before unbending and explaining that literally nothing happened; it's just embarrassing. Further enquiries elicit that Etienne didn't do anything awful as such, he just didn't turn up: he was asleep in front of the TV – but he was mortified, and really apologetic. Josh 'has no words' but tells Paul not to make excuses for Etienne. Paul immediately does just that and again asserts he is fine. Josh suggests that maybe it's Paul , not Etienne, who needs to wake up; he deserves better – when people show you who they are, believe them. Paul tells Josh not to quote memes at him and Josh retorts that Etienne couldn't make things much clearer: he's practically begging Paul to dump him. But Paul can't. In fact he's never dumped anyone before. [That means he's always been the dumpee. Figures. Gus.] Josh's other suggestion, ghosting, isn't an option either: Paul wants to give the therapy a chance, and they've rebooked for Friday. Josh starts to voice his disbelief but Paul hears Lily emerging from the shower and tells Josh to go on, then, do him some pasta – and he feels like Bridget Jones after all. 'Treated like a doormat by a man who isn't good enough for you?' Josh mutters, then converts it on repetition to an enquiry as to whether Paul wants penne or spaghetti.

Susan and Chris are driving home, which gives her a captive audience. She knows how Chris feels about Alice and it's to his credit that he wants to find an explanation for what's happened, but sometimes there are no reasons. Chris says he knows that, but Susan isn't convinced. She tells him he has to accept now that Alice did this, no one else; there really is no other explanation. Chris just doesn't want her to go to prison. Susan knows that: none of them do, for Martha's sake, because she's the most important person in all this. Chris agrees, and Susan advises that he should therefore devote all his energy to Martha. Indignantly, Chris asks what his mother thinks he's been doing. Susan explains that what she is saying is 'leave Alice to Alice'. Chris protests, but Susan continues. It's out of Chris's control; Alice is the only one who can determine what happens next and he has to let her do that. This elicits a defeated 'Yes' from Chris. Here's what Susan thinks he should do: go inside, get Martha, take her home, read her a story, put her to bed, then get up tomorrow and do it all again. She knows it's not easy but it's all he can do. In time things will get easier, he'll see.

Summarised by Gus.

Tuesday 2nd July, 2024

In which Justin puts the boot in and Emma unaccountably fails to fall out of a tall tree.

Characters: Lilian, Justin, Emma, Ed, George, Alice
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

It's five past eight at the Dower House and Lilian is berating Justin for not waking her. He thought she could do with the rest; The Stables will survive her being half an hour late. Lilian wishes she had his confidence, but he counters that they are almost out of the woods with the strangles, social media chatter has subsided and Carlotta starts next week, all of which should lift some of the burden on her. Lilian asks if he was just going to sneak off without saying goodbye. Justin denies it: he's got a busy morning, though: signing documents at BL and then back-to-back meetings. He'll pop in to The Stables in the afternoon to see how she's getting on. And she mustn't look so worried – Justin will see to it that The Stables comes back fighting.

Ed and Emma, about to set off to a job near Bartleby's new home, are waiting impatiently for George. Ed reckons it was a good idea of Emma's to bring George; she says it will be good for him to see how Bartleby's settling in. They hope he'll feel a bit better when he's seen the place for himself, although Bartleby looked happy enough in the pictures Meg sent. Emma breaks off to yell 'Hi' to Fallon then asks if Ed thought she looked annoyed – Emma's leaving her to open up while she's off climbing trees… Ed tells her not to be paranoid and reassures her that Fallon will be happy Emma's making a go of their venture: she gets it. It's a big job today, Emma muses; 'Ten metres big', Ed retorts. Both confess they are a bit nervous, but Ed reminds Emma that Hank must think they're up to it. Ed tells her he doesn't mind doing the aerial work, but Emma is firm: it's her turn, and thank you, but she is fine; she's done the training. She outlines her planned approach to the job and Ed approves, saying 'great minds', as George arrives. He was delayed by Tony, desperate to show him a new Angus calf. Apparently Tony went on about it a bit, but Ed can understand that; Anguses are a nice breed. This does nothing to lessen George's evident irritability. He was up at five and he's knackered. His parents assure him that seeing his old pal Bartleby will cheer him up, and they set off.

With a marked lack of enthusiasm, Alice greets Justin. He saw her through the window, and can he come in? It's not a good time, Alice tells him, as she's in the middle of something, but he maintains it won't take a moment. After a cursory enquiry after her well-being, Justin says he wanted to let her know that they have found cover for her absence from The Stables. Alice knows. This seems to surprise Justin, and Alice says she thought everyone knew; certainly Jakob seemed very well informed. With things being so unpredictable, Justin explains, they needed to take steps to ensure the business runs smoothly; the manager they have appointed starts next week. Alice observes it all sounds very permanent. Justin responds that it is a temporary contract – with the option to extend. 'There it is!' Alice exclaims, feeling her scepticism vindicated. 'Oh, come on!' Justin chides. Alice must be aware that a return to The Stables could be impossible, given her decision to plead Not Guilty. Alice tells him sharply that that's nothing to do with him, to which Justin retorts that he nevertheless finds himself dragged in to it: if Alice receives a custodial sentence, he and Lilian will have no choice but to replace her permanently. And, given all the uncertainty, Justin wonders if the best thing might not be for Alice to take things into her own hands and consider stepping back. Shocked, Alice queries 'You're asking me to resign?'

Ed checks if Emma's got her first-aid kit. Yes, it's attached to her harness. She asks him to test the chainsaw, which she will haul up when she's ready for it, and to check the harness. He says it all looks good; she asks him to wish her luck. 'It's amazing when you think how old this tree is' she muses, starting to climb. Hank reckons it's at least a hundred, says Ed: no wonder it's rotting. She'll start by cutting off the little branches. It's incredible up there, she tells him; she can see for miles and miles – and she can see Bartleby's paddock, and George talking to him. It looks as if George might even be giving him a hug, bless him. Ed begs her to concentrate, and Emma reassures him that she is: she's just enjoying herself too. She drops him the small branches and proclaims herself ready for the chainsaw, which Ed sends up. She tells him 'It's brilliant!' and Ed, catching her enthusiasm, echoes her words as she starts up the chainsaw.

Justin is telling Alice she must understand that neither he nor Lilian wants this, and that they would have much preferred The Stables not to have suffered as it has. Reasonably, Alice counters that the horses' illness was not her fault, but Justin is thinking more of the reputational damage they have suffered as a result. 'So you want to get rid of me; problem solved' she says resentfully. Justin sighs. What he wants is for The Stables to get back on track. Alice tells him that she is not going to resign: apart from Martha, The Stables is all she's got. 'But you aren't there!' Justin argues. Not at the moment, Alice concedes, but as Justin can see, she's going through a difficult time… Exasperated, Justin says they both know it's a little more serious than that; what happens if she gets a custodial sentence? Obviously in that case he can do what he wants, Alice says, but if not she's going to do everything she can to get her life back. She knows he came there expecting her to be ashamed, embarrassed, to slink off into a corner; part of her would love nothing more than to disappear. She is ashamed, and embarrassed – this is pretty much as mortifying as it gets – but she needs to hang on to the things that might give her half a chance of coming back from this, and one of those is her work. Justin sighs again. In that case, he needs to let her know that she has used her annual leave entitlement for the year and will receive only Statutory Sick Pay for the foreseeable future. Obviously that cannot go on indefinitely, so they will reassess after the court case. This elicits only a sulky 'fine' from Alice. Justin says he thinks that's everything. 'Take care, won't you, Alice.' He leaves.

The tree finished, Ed and Em are in high good humour, as is George. He is impressed with the set-up at Meg's: it's pretty special ,and Bartleby's a lucky boy. Emma asks if Meg is around and George tells her she had to go and pick up some feed. George passed the documents from Jakob on to her, and she gave him a tour of the stables, where he met the other horses – some famous racehorses included. Emma, Ed and George all agree that Bartleby fits right in with these VIPs of the horse world: he's in his element. George enquires how their big tree is, and Ed gleefully tells him it's not so big any more, not after his mum took her chainsaw to it. Emma tells him it went better than 'all right', it was great! It was amazing to be up there, and you have to concentrate so hard on where your feet are, where your gear is, that there's no time to think of anything else. There was certainly no time to look around, Ed teases, prompting Emma to tell George she spotted him and Bartleby; she'd know George's walk anywhere. George indignantly insists he does not walk in the side-to-side way Emma has just demonstrated.; she assures him he does, and that it's nice. Anyway, George is glad Emma and Ed had a good day. 'You see things differently from up high' Emma enthuses, to gentle mockery, No, she doesn't mean literally, but she realised something today: there's a whole world out there, so many people all trying to make the best of what they've got, and the Grundys are so lucky to have this chance to work for themselves, doing a job that they love. Ed agrees that they are, and Emma adds that they have so much to look forward to, 'don't you think, George?' They realise George is distressed, and Ed tells him that his great-grandad would love it here. If that's what he's worried about. Emma asks if that's what's upsetting George, and he tells them that he can't stop thinking about grandad Joe and what he'd say. Emma reassures him that Joe would be proud of George for doing the right thing by Bartleby, and Bartleby's doing so well; it will be all right, George will see. It might not feel like it yet, but things will work out for the best.

At The Stables, Lilian tells Justin that Carlotta dropped off her contract earlier and that she has cleared her diary for the induction on Thursday. Justin approves, but Lilian is anxious about Alice's reaction when she finds out. Justin vouchsafes that he's already mentioned it. Lilian wants to know when, and he says 'earlier', adding speciously that Alice agreed it sounded sensible for them to get someone in. 'Today?' Lilian exclaims, as Justin assures her it's all sorted. In response to further questioning, he claims to have 'found a window' in his purported schedule and to have been passing Home Farm. Lilian is incensed. He went to see Alice! Without telling her! She's been trying to get hold of Alice for the best part of two weeks! Justin blusters that it was high time they sorted things out, and as Alice hadn't responded to Lilian –. She cuts him off. She would have liked to see her niece herself; how was she? Rather as you would expect, he's afraid; he adds that that Alice is certainly in no state to come back to work. Lilian wants to know if Alice was drinking. Not during their conversation, Justin says, but generally? He'd say so. Does he think Lilian should go over? Justin (with reason) doubts Alice would welcome another visit today. In an attempt to be soothing, he tells Lilian he knows it's hard, but the truth is there's very little any of them can do to help Alice until she decides to help herself. [Justin was very disappointed next time he went to his wine fridge to find out that, somehow, Alice had done just that. If only. Gus.]

Summarised by Gus.

Wednesday 3rd July, 2024

Harry is at The Nest and Lilian at a total loss, while Adam is all over the place.

Characters: Alice, Adam, Harry, Lilian
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Alice answers her phone and asks what Adam wants. Nothing, he claims, just checking in, before telling her what she presumably knows already, that Brian has been trying to get hold of her and she isn't answering her phone. She retorts that she's talking to him, isn't she, and Adam counters that it took a while to get through. His perseverance paid off, she says tartly, so perhaps Brian should try harder (a suggestion she immediately retracts). No, she doesn't want anything – she still has the loaf Brian brought on Monday and she doesn't want him turning up with more bags of stuff she won't use. They're both worried about her, says Adam; is she eating? And how is she? What does he want her to say, Alice asks; she's in hell. This takes the wind out of Adam's sails but he concedes that he did ask; is there anything he can do? He could come over. Horrified, Alice rejects the offer; she can't face seeing anyone. Adam then asks whether she's thought any more about getting professional help. He could call the treatment centre… 'No! Don't do that!' Alice exclaims. She just can't; he doesn't understand. Adam says he's trying to. That first step, he knows that's hard, but once she's made it… Then, says Alice, she'd have to confront everything she's done and start all over again, and she can't do that, not yet. 'What, then?' Adam asks, but Alice doesn't know. She's just getting through the day at the moment. Next, Adam wants to know if Alice has been in touch with Lilian, who has been trying to get hold of her. Darkly, Alice says she knows why, and Adam wants to know what she means. He's outraged to learn Justin came round and advised Alice to resign: they know what she's going through. Alice tells him to ask Justin if he won't believe her. Her replacement starts next week. 'How can they do that?' Adam wonders. Alice's simultaneous 'Go away!' is strangely not to Adam's address but a response to a knock at the door. On second thoughts, she decides she'd better see if it's a delivery, while Adam, despite having been asked not to, says he will talk to Lilian and report back to Alice later. He doesn't have to do that and she doesn't want him to run around after her, she tells him: he's got Xander. Adam says that he wants to, reiterates that he is Worried About Her, and the call ends.

Alice opens the door and gasps as Harry greets her. She thought he was away! He's back now, he says redundantly, as she tells him she can't do this. He knows he shouldn't be there but he couldn't not come. He had to see Alice; he wants to help her. Alice tells him he can't but he retorts that actually, he thinks he might be able to: he's been where she is now. Alice pooh-poohs this: he's only been out of treatment five minutes and has no idea where she is. With all the zeal of a convert, he proclaims he does know what it's like to feel you're being pulled under and that there's no point or hope; but there is! And she doesn't have to do it on her own. Alice is sorry but she really can't deal with this, and shuts the door on him. He exhales in disappointed exasperation.

At The Stables, Lilian is assuring the indignant Adam that he's got it wrong: no one asked Alice to resign and they haven't brought in a replacement, just a temporary manager. Adam is firm: that isn't what Justin told Alice. Lilian wonders if Alice has the wrong end of the stick, but Adam thinks it more likely Justin had his own agenda, and it sounded as if he was extremely heavy-handed; Alice is really low and that was the last thing she needs. And what was Lilian thinking letting Justin go round in the first place? She knows how fragile Alice is! Lilian maintains she knew nothing about the visit until afterwards or she would have insisted on going herself, and she also didn't know Justin would mention Alice resigning permanentlyif that's what he did. She says she's been trying to call Alice for days, which draws fellow-feeling from Adam. Things have been pretty desperate, Lilian tells him, and they need a manager if they're going to keep afloat while Alice is away. Adam sees her point, and sorrowfully confesses he is scared. So is Lilian. If anything, Adam tells her, Alice is getting worse and if she doesn't agree to them getting her some professional help soon, he dreads to think what will happen: she's in a really bad place.

Alice, evidently having changed her mind, catches up with Harry to ask breathlessly how he found out about her. He explains that Chris came to find him, not to tell him about Alice but to establish whether Harry had been in the car when Alice had her …accident. Harry [despite Chris having told him Alice was uninjured. Gus] was so frightened by this news that he had to come to see if anything had happened to her. To Harry's distress, Alice wishes something had. She can't understand what Chris was doing, but Harry tells her he must be trying to make sense of things and, naturally enough, looking for someone to blame, somewhere to put his anger – and he is glad Chris told him. Conveniently forgetting her Not Guilty plea, Alice tells him that she did this and that's all there is to it: she can't believe it either, but that's what happened. Harry protests: her addiction did this, and that's not an excuse but an explanation – she has a disease. Alice says she didn't want him to know she'd relapsed. Harry tells her he would have come to see her anyway, as he has something to say; it will only take five minutes; it's important. She reluctantly agrees. Firstly he wanted to thank her for the incredible gift she has given him – the rest of his life. Alice disclaims – it was treatment that did that. But, he says, he would never have gone were it not for her. She asks how it was and hears it was the worst thing he has ever done, and the best. She tells him she's glad: he seems well. Harry describes the endless group therapy, his resistance to it and week-long refusal to talk, and the eventual bursting of the dam when he found himself recalling out loud the time he passed out outside his dorm, the shame of it, and begging his housemaster not to tell his parents. After that, Harry goes on, it all came flooding out, about how discovering alcohol at the age of twelve felt like coming home. Eventing was an escape for a while, but after his injury drinking was waiting like an old friend, the only thing he could rely on. But he couldn't rely on it, he knows that now: the only thing he can rely on is himself, and it's the same for her; she knows, she told him... Alice begs him to stop. She's glad for him but it's not the same for her. Harry disagrees: she can come back from this, because she's done it before. And he's so sorry – he knows this is all his fault. Impatiently, Alice points out that group therapy will have taught him to take responsibility for his actions and his actions only; if she chooses to drink, that' on her. Harry laments that if they had never met, she wouldn't be drinking now, wouldn't have got in the car that day: he has ruined her life. Alice thinks she always knew she would end up back here somehow. Harry is sure she can get out again. He's so sorry for what has happened but cannot be sorry he met her because she saved him. And if there's anything he can do to help her, then he'll do it. Alice has to go, but says well done to Harry. She's pleased for him. Really.

Lilian tells Adam they're all treading on eggshells, Brian too, and Adam agrees: Brian's going out of his mind with worry, so Adam keeps checking in on him too. With an edge in her voice, Lilian grudgingly admits Miranda is being a support to Brian. Again, Adam agrees, saying he doesn't think Brian believed it would come to this – only this time, it's even worse. Lilian apologises again for Justin's contribution to the gaiety of nations and assures Adam she will be speaking to him. Adam thinks it's understandable that Justin wants some clarity. Lilian pooh-poohs this, but Adam tells her they have to face facts; none of them knows what will happen when it gets to court, which could be weeks, months even. This surprises and dismays Lilian; she wonders how Alice will cope if this all drags on. Adam doesn't think she will cope, not unless she stops drinking, but that isn't a conversation she's willing to have at the moment. Lilian just wishes there was something she could do, which gets the predictable response that there isn't anything anyone can do if Alice doesn't decide to do something herself. Adam has to stop himself getting angry with her; he just wants to wake her up before everything slips away from her – the court case, Martha, her job. She really could lose everything, and then what reason will there be for her to stop? Lilian corrects his wrong-think: Adam isn't angry with Alice, he's angry with the situation! It's devastating to realise that one is totally helpless. Adam groans in agreement. Lilian tells him that when his mum died, she swore that she'd be there for the five of them and take care of them for her, but she hasn't done that, has she? She knows it's silly, they're adults, but there are times in life when you need your mum. And for those times, Lilian intended to be the next best thing. Alice desperately needs her mother now and Lilian should step in and help her. But she just doesn't know how.

Summarised by Gus

Thursday 4th July, 2024

Alice scores a bottle from The Bull and an earful from Susan.

Characters: Alice, George, Kenton, Susan
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Alice is checking her voicemails as she walks. 'Auntie Lilian, just checking in' and asking her niece to call elicits a groan, as suddenly George greets her, asking if she is all right. She assures him she is and there is no need to worry. Defensively, he disclaims; why would he be worried? Alice sarcastically enquires if he really isn't, since everyone is worried about her; this flummoxes George somewhat. He was there, wasn't he, Alice suddenly remembers, and found her in the car. Nervously, George confirms that he was, and did. Alice tells him she never thanked him, and that he was a hero that night, which George denies. She insists he was and that he saved people's lives: if it wasn't for him, she'd really be in trouble. Not that she isn't, of course, but if he hadn't rescued Fallon, and Joy… 'Alice –' George begins, but she goes on to tell him that he is a good person, whereas she is not. George, hugely uncomfortable, offers her a lift home which she declines, having 'stuff' to do in the village, promising as she leaves that she won't forget what he did.

At The Bull, Kenton and Lilian are hunting the cheese-and-onion crisps and waiting for Jolene, who has gone to vote. Kenton murmurs that trouble is coming, and Lilian nerves herself to greet said trouble brightly: 'Alice! Darling!' Alice is taken aback, having expected Lilian to be at The Stables, but her aunt explains that she popped in to do the accounts, adding that's she's been trying to get hold of Alice. Alice knows. Lilian asks how she is and Alice says not great, not since Justin turned up on her doorstep and pressured her to resign. Alice is not mollified when Lilian says she is sorry and advises her to take no notice of him: so they haven't replaced her, then? Lilian stammers that it is only temporary, and Alice wants to know who with and is told Carlotta, from Sal Blakedown's. Dripping with faux-bonhomie, Kenton interrupts to ask how Alice is doing and is snubbed by both women. Alice wonders how come Lilian didn't think to mention this to her, but Lilian has a seriously good defence: she did try, and has been trying to get hold of Alice for ages. Sulkily Alice assumes that is why she sent Justin round to get her to resign, but Lilian assures her it was no such thing; Alice knows what Justin is like – and if she can get herself in a position to work, then her job will be waiting for her. Alice counters that her aunt doesn't sound very confident; Lilian tells her she wants nothing more than to see her back on her feet, which sets Alice off into a rant to the effect that Lilian is right, she's got to protect The Business from The Alcoholic Niece! Kenton interrupts again, asking if Alice would like him to run her home; Lilian can hold the fort. Or she could run Alice home, Lilian suggests. Alice just wishes people would stop offering to take her home: it's getting a bit rude. Actually, now she's here she'd like a drink. As Kenton havers, she enquires snappily whether it is a pub, and asks for a double gin and tonic, offering to stand her aunt the same. Lilian declines as it's barely lunchtime, something which Alice points out has never stopped Lilian before. Lilian thinks Alice should go home: she can't carry on like this. Alice wants to know if the pub is open or not; Kenton doesn't think this is a good idea and finally tells Alice he can't serve her. Alice huffs off, saying she'll leave them to it.

But as Kenton and Lilian exhale Alice returns, asking what Carlotta is like. Lilian stammers that she's pleasant, competent, and knows what she's doing but that obviously it won't be the same as having Alice there. Alice has been thinking about The Stables; they should organise something to get people back in, a summer equine fete or a pony camp, and make it a real celebration to show people they're back up and running, she concludes tearfully. Lilian thinks that's a lovely idea but Alice is much better at that kind of thing than she is: maybe she could organise it when she's back. Alice says they don't even know if she's going to come back, and leaves for a second time, advising Lilian to get Carlotta on it. There's more synchronised sighing, and Lilian says they can't let her go off in that state. Kenton says he will go after Alice and does so, calling to her to wait. Alice asks what he wants and, when he asks if she is all right, wants to know why he cares. Jolene hates her. Kenton tells her that Jolene has seen enough alcoholics to know that Alice is as much a victim as anyone, but Alice is unconvinced; Fallon could have died because of her. Kenton points out that she didn't, adding that they just want Alice to get better. He again offers to take her home, but is rebuffed; she wants to go for a walk. Kenton calls after her to take care of herself as she finally departs.

At the shop Susan is giving George a message for Neil about covering for Martha between nursery pick-up and teatime, and bemoaning the logistics of childcare, as Alice enters. George greets her; Susan grunts. Alice asks if Susan was talking about Martha and is told in no uncertain terms that she was, about filling the gaps in the complicated childcare puzzle they are all juggling. If the set-up is to become permanent, something more manageable will have to be put in place. 'Nana' George protests, but Alice tells him it's all right. Tightly, Susan asks what she can get Alice, adding that she hopes she hasn't come hoping to buy alcohol because Susan isn't going to sell her any. Lightly, Alice retorts that she wouldn't ask Susan to compromise herself like that. Susan snorts, and remarks that she doesn't mind Susan being run ragged looking after Martha while she drinks herself silly. It's not just Susan, either: Neil, Tracy, Jazzer, Emma, Ed, Will… even Keira's been lending a hand. [What kind of accent that lot will leave the child with doesn't bear thinking about. Gus.] Not to mention Christopher. George suggests pacifically that Alice might go home, and Susan concurs, advising her that's a good idea and she should go and sleep it off, adding that she'll be bringing Martha round after nursery and if Alice is in any kind of state, she won't be stopping. Alice is taken aback; she was expecting Chris. Susan says he has a job in Darrington which he can't turn down, then herself turns down Alice's offer to collect Martha on her own. The best thing Alice can do, says Susan, is go home, have a shower and get herself sorted. Susan will see her in a few hours.

Leaving the shop, Alice has a near miss with a speeding car [which is clearly doing at least fifty through the village, going by the SFX. Where is Lynda's Speedwatch when it is needed? Chris]. Shaken, she murmurs 'I really need a drink' before an idea strikes her. Pub!

Lilian is asking a customer how many glasses they need for their wine as Alice enters. She asks what her niece is doing back there. Alice says she doesn't want to cause any trouble, she just wants a little vodka and tonic. Lilian can't: Kenton will be down again in a minute. Alice begs her. Lilian offers to make them both a cup of tea; she could come and sit with Alice. Alice accepts. Kettle bound and relieved, Lilian tells her to find somewhere they can sit but Alice, with a strangled 'sorry', grabs the wine bottle and runs out of the pub, leaving her aunt wailing 'Oh, Alice!'

Alice arrives back at The Nest to find Susan waiting, and asks where Martha is. Susan tells her Neil has taken her back to their house; Alice was late. Stunned, Alice says accusingly that they packed her off without Alice seeing her. Susan sighs; she brought her from nursery as arranged and they came in to wait but once they were inside, Martha got upset. Susan tried to distract her with toys in her room but she got into a state. Alice asks what kind of state and Susan tells her a tantrum; Martha's been having them, on and off. She's angry, Susan explains, and doesn't know why her life's been turned upside down. Tremulously, Alice wants to know that she is OK, but Susan talks over her. Martha is testing them to see what happens if she pushes them away; anyway, the child lost it and Susan called Neil to take her away, which is just as well: it would only have made matters worse if Martha had seen Alice in this state. Alice denies being 'in a state' and Susan tells her flatly she's drunk. Alice hotly denies it; she might have had a drink but she is not drunk – and anyway, it's not up to Susan to decide whether or not she can see her daughter. Susan tells her she didn't: Martha decided for herself. Alice accuses her of trying to keep Martha from her and says she won't have it; Susan tells her to come off it: the only person keeping Martha from Alice is herself. Then she really gets into her stride. Does Alice know her father is ringing round rehabs to see if there's a free place? Expensive ones, obviously: only the best for his little girl. Alice protests she didn't ask him to. Susan argues that Brian is desperate to help her, and with money being no object, all Alice has to do is say the word and she'll be whizzed off to the best treatment centre in the country. Alice tells her it's not as easy as that, provoking even more scorn from Susan, who tells her it certainly isn't, for most addicts: Susan can see how they can't break the cycle, but Alice? Stung, Alice exclaims that Susan doesn't know what it's like. Susan concedes that she doesn't, being lucky enough never to have been an addict; she knows it's a disease but she also knows that Alice's best chance is rehab, so she should take it. Tremulously, Alice admits she is scared, and Susan wonders what of, because in Alice's shoes, Susan would be scared of one thing only - losing Martha. And if Alice carries on as she is, that's what's going to happen: she'll end up dead, or in prison, or the courts will judge her unfit – or Martha will grow up and decide for herself she wants nothing to do with Alice. 'Stop it!' Alice cries savagely, but Susan goes on. When Chris was first born, she remembers holding him and just weeping, partly from hormones and lack of sleep but mainly at the realisation that whatever happened, she had to stay alive because this baby needed her and the thought of him being without a mother is more than she could bear. [Very pretty, but manifest bollocks. She rejected him on account of the hare lip. Gus.] Alice recognises the sentiment. Some mothers don't get a choice, Susan tells her, separated through circumstances or illness, death; the world can be a terrible place. But Alice is young, fit, healthy… she just has to want to get better. Alice claims that she does, but Susan doesn't believe her, saying with feeling thaat if she did, she's do it. She'd take responsibility, accept help, get treatment. No one's saying it's easy, but life isn't easy. Alice tells her that she wants her to go now, and Susan tells her not to worry, she is going – to look after Alice's daughter. But she means it; if Alice doesn't put everything she's got into getting better for the sake of that little girl, she'll live to regret it. Outraged, Alice forbids her to talk to her like that: Susan is not her mother! Susan retorts that her mother isn't there and Susan is, and right now Susan is all Alice has got, just like Alice is all Martha's got: and she deserves a lot better than this. Alice sobs.

Summarised by Gus.

Friday 5th July, 2024

In which the clue stick finally connects with Paul and the listener is clobbered with the pathetic fallacy.

Characters: Josh, Paul, Adam, Alice, John, a rainbow
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Outside The Stables a taxi hoots, and Josh wants to know where Paul is rushing off to. Paul petulantly reminds him, Borchester, and Josh recalls it is couples therapy night, whereon Paul tells him not to make fun of him. Josh isn't making fun of him; he just can't believe Paul is giving up his Friday night to sit in a therapist's office with Etienne, if he turns up. Paul is reproachful, but Josh says it's not Paul, it's Etienne; he just hopes Etienne appreciates the second chance. Paul thinks he does. Josh checks Paul is sure he doesn't want to come to the pub with him and Freddie instead, but Paul is definite that he wants to give therapy a go. He then checks that Josh thinks his trainers and jeans go together and concedes 'it might be' a new jacket that he's wearing. He and Etienne might go for a drink after, so he'll see Josh when he sees him. As the taxi hoots again he leaves, with Josh wishing him good luck, adding sotto voce that he thinks Paul's going to need it.

To the accompaniment of much sighing, Alice is getting into Adam's car. When he asks if she is all right, she exclaims 'No!' and Adam explains that 'Have you got everything?' was more what he meant. Alice thinks she's forgotten her headphones but declines to go back inside for them: she might never come out, and can they just go, please? As they drive off, Adam talks about the rain: Bridge Farm doesn't know whether it's coming or going and Brian is fretting about the ground ahead of harvest. Alice makes a polite response and Adam adds that it seems unfair after such a wet winter they deserve some sun – it's July, for goodness' sake. He realises Alice is crying quietly and tries to encourage her: they're on the way, so she's done the hard bit and it will get easier now. She asks whether he read that in a leaflet and he admits he made it up, but there must be some truth in it. He's just glad they had a place available; 'Me too,' says Alice, before adding that a bit of her was hoping they'd say she had to wait a week or two. She promises she's going to pay Dad back, but Adam reassures her that Brian is just relieved that she is doing this, and proud. They all are: they know what it has taken. Uncomfortable, Alice tries to silence him [As one would, because Adam. Gus] and then cries 'Stop!' Adam reasonably says he has but she explains she means stop the car; she wants to talk to Susan.

Alice tells Susan awkwardly that she is glad she saw her; she wanted to thank her for last night, for what she said about Martha. And Alice's mum. Susan is storbumfurkled as Alice continues, saying it was what she needed to hear and made it impossible for her to carry on; after Susan left, she called the treatment centre she went to before. 'Did you?' Susan breathes, wonderingly. They had a place available, Alice explains, and said she could come tonight. Susan, while clearly astonished, says she is glad. Alice adds that it is expensive but Brian was happy to help; she knows Susan thinks she's an entitled brat, and she probably is, but Susan was right. She has to get better, and she know how lucky she is to have this chance. She is, Susan tells her, and she hopes Alice can do it. She knows it won't be easy, but Alice is made of strong stuff. Alice asks if Susan will tell Chris; she couldn't bring herself to tell anyone once she'd decided. Susan will, and says Chris will be very pleased for Alice.

In Borchester, someone calls out to Paul. It's his dad, who asks what he is doing there and then answers his own question: Paul's off to some fancy craft beer place, isn't he? John then asks if Paul, who is sniffing somewhat, if he is all right; after claiming a bad day, in fact a bad week, Paul asks what John is doing there himself. John says he's been to the dentist and elaborates on the theme until he realises Paul is sobbing. Questioning as to what's up elicits that it's Etienne, and that Paul thinks it's over; John is immediately comforting. Paul tells him he had to walk out of there; it was awful. John advises taking a breath and suggests giving Paul a lift back to Ambridge and taking him for a pint.

Adam tells Alice he never thought he'd see her and Susan Carter hugging at the roadside, and Alice reveals that it is partly down to Susan that she's decided to do this: she helped Alice see things more clearly. Adam is surprised. Alice explains it was Susan's own brand of tough love, or rather tough hate. Tough exasperation. She left Alice with no choice. Alice can't believe she's here again. Leaving treatment last time she was proud, and so hopeful; and now look at her. Adam croons that she'll soon be there again, finishing treatment and ready to come home. Suddenly brittle, Alice says that even if she manages it, it won't be the same because she knows now how weak she is, how easy it is to fall; she thought she knew that last time, but she didn't really. Adam tells her it's different because it's her choice this time, but Alice reminds him it's not just about recovery now: what about everything else – the harm she caused, the court case. Adam says treatment can only help with the case, as it shows she's remorseful and trying to change her life, but Alice insists that's not why she's doing it. Adam continues: if Alice changes her plea to guilty, she stands a good chance of getting a lighter sentence, or even just a fine. Has she thought about changing her plea? Alice breaks in: 'It was here, wasn't it? I remember the bridge, and the other car coming towards us.' Us?' Adam queries. 'Me,' Alice corrects herself. It's all so jumbled in her head she can't get a handle on it; it's like a nightmare. Adam suggests she should try not to think about it, and Alice returns to earlier in the conversation. She knows she should plead guilty; she will; it's the right thing to do. Adam is approving. Alice laments that it all seems so unreal to her that she did that, she got drunk and drove into another car; she really could have killed someone.

An open relationship evidently doesn't impress John, who asks whether it isn't just cheating on each other. No, Paul tells him, because it's consensual, with agreed boundaries and no secrets, and they can work really well for some people. Gently his dad says suggests it's just not for Paul. Paul says he tried to be fine with it, but he couldn't act normal about Etienne meeting other people. He wanted to be fine with it. John wants to know why, if he wasn't feeling it, but, when Paul says he didn't want to lose Etienne, John sees where the couples therapy came in. Paul thought maybe they could help, but he could see as soon as it started that it wasn't going to work. Etienne was there, arms folded, looking at his watch, and launched into a speech about Paul stifling him and trying to stop him being himself; 'I've never tried to stifle him', wails Paul. John wouldn't blame him if he had, but Paul goes on: Etienne then said that he wanted an open relationship because Paul wasn't enough for him, fulfilling some of his needs but not all. John can't believe he said that. Maybe that's fair enough, Paul muses: it seems a bit much to get everything you need from one person. John tells him that most people don't just view their relationships in terms of getting what they need. Paul wishes he'd said that, but Etienne wasn't up for much in the way of discussion, more 'this is how it is, take it or leave it'; he was so cold, Paul finishes. John says he always found Etienne to be a bit cold, with him anyway, but had just assumed he didn't like him that much; so Paul just walked out? Paul feels he should have stayed and tried to salvage something, joking that he paid for the full hour, after all, but he just felt so humiliated and upset he had to get out of there. John tells him gently that sometimes you just have to admit defeat. Paul observes that Etienne hasn't even messaged to see if he's OK. John suggests that maybe the open relationship isn't the problem; looking at it as an outsider, and bearing in mind he only met Etienne a handful of times, he thinks Paul is worth ten of him. Paul reckons John may be biased, being his dad. John lists his good points: he's kind, generous, funny, loyal, thoughtful… If that's not enough for Etienne, then maybe that's Etienne's problem. At which delicate juncture, Josh interrupts, asking whether Paul shouldn't be lying on a couch somewhere in Borchester, talking about his childhood. Paul begins to tell him it's a long story as Josh greets John, whom he hadn't seen at first. John explains his presence by saying the thought it was about time his son bought him a pint, then spoils this pretext by asking Josh what he wants as it's John's round. Josh asks for a lager; Paul asks Josh where Freddie is. Having pizza, and Elizabeth was buying, Josh explains. Dare Josh ask how it went? Maybe not, Paul says. 'Don't tell me you've seen the light?' Josh asks in wondering tone. Actually, Paul thinks he might have done, to which Josh returns a heartfelt hallelujah; Paul won't elaborate on what made him see sense, as Josh puts it, but talking to his dad helped. He thinks John never really liked Etienne. Scathingly Josh wonders why, and Paul cheerfully tells him to shut up.

Adam tells Alice they are there, which she knows; she wasn't asleep. This is it then, here goes nothing, says Alice in an unsteady voice, before asking if Adam will tell Martha she loves her. Of course he will. She thanks him. Adam observes that the weather is clearing up, then tells Alice they're all behind her and will be thinking of her every day. Alice knows that, too. 'Oh wow!' he exclaims, 'look at that sun! Better late than never.' Alice reflects that Dad will be pleased, and it's like that song Mum used to play when they were kids.' [Being a kid was not a state that overlapped for Alice (born 1988) and Adam (born 1967). Gus] and Adam remembers it: The Sunshine after the Rain. He then spots a rainbow, look! She's going to be all right. Alice doesn't know if she is, but she is going to try.

Summarised by Gus

Sunday 7th July, 2024

Alistair and Denise are making hay, George is going to, and Neil thinks Chris should.

Characters: Alistair, Denise, George, Emma, Chris, Neil
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Against a background of quacking, Denise and Alistair are cloud-watching. Denise can't believe Alistair has actually found a Jakob-shaped cloud. It's Denise's turn now, but she decides she prefers just relaxing in Alistair's arms. She doesn't need to ask him twice, he tells her. She says that a little boat, on a lake, away from the village, was an interesting choice, and Alistair wonders if part of him wanted he to be sure he was okay on the water. Not in the water? Denise asks. No. In a boat, on the water, in Denise's arms is perfect, according to Alistair. So was last night, Denise tells him, and he agrees. Denise muses that if anything were to land him in the water, she could finally show him her swimming skills. He believes her [as he should, having seen her in the Am on That Fateful Night. Gus] but she offers to show him anyway. The ensuing horseplay frightens the waterfowl, and Alistair implores her not to land them in the lake; anyway, if he wanted to check out her swimming skills, he'd rather do it in the Mediterranean. Denise doesn't understand, but Alistair just asks if she is hungry yet. Denise wants to know what Alistair meant.

At Grange Farm, George doesn't know what his mother is worrying about. Emma snaps that she's not worried, it's just a shame Brad isn't free as George is going to need some help. George might check with Ben, who could be up for a few days this week: he's at home doing coursework. Emma says that would be good; she trusts Ben. George is indignant: he knows what he's doing, and Dad was fine with him taking over the haymaking this year. So is Emma, but she tells him they'd feel better if they knew who was going to help; they can't do much after today, not with this big job Hank's given them in Darrington. 'George needles her by suggesting that Justin got them that, but Emma sets him right: it's Hank who gives them the work. George counters that Justin said nice things about them online; Emma is scornful of the notion of Justin as 'nice'. George needles her a bit more, telling her not to say any more nasty things about Alice on the stables' website, and is firmly told that misunderstanding's been cleared up now, thank you! as a call from Chris comes through on Emma's phone. Chris is heading over to the cricket but he left Martha's rucksack in the car, and would Emma mind picking it up? Emma is happy to and tells Chris how much they love having Martha; thanks are not required. Chris says that when Neil picks her up later he is brining Martha to the cricket, which she loved last week, with George adding that perhaps she could be the team mascot. Chris tells Emma that he really appreciates it, and she tells him everyone has to juggle a bit sometimes 'and there are two of us': Chris is managing incredibly well considering he's on his own. Chris corrects her, saying there are two of us, too, which causes Emma to stutter a bit and say she didn't mean, er… Chris informs her that Alice has gone to rehab and left on Friday, which Emma dutifully pronounces great news. George agrees, with more genuine enthusiasm, and Chris ends the call. Emma is glad her brother is doing something for himself, even if it is only village cricket. 'It's good about Alice – isn't it?' George says uncertainly. It is, his mother says decidedly, for Martha's sake, and his Uncle Chris's. With her own special edge, Emma adds that maybe if Alice gets herself sober she'll change her plea.

On the lake, Denise is talking with her mouth full. Chocolate-covered strawberries were a lucky guess on Alistair's part, he says; if the rest of the picnic had been left to him, they'd probably have ended up with soggy sandwiches. Denise tells him she dropped some food off to Paul en route: he's sad, and hurt, but she thinks he's okay. She reckons that he had thought Etienne might be 'the one'. Alistair is sympathetic, but steers the conversation back to Them: where would they go if the did go away together? Denise says she only just got back from Spain, and she can't believe she's allowing herself get excited about another trip. Alistair's always wanted to see more of South-East Asia. Japan, perhaps? [Which isn't SE Asia. Did he mean 'OR Japan'? Gus] Denise vetoes any sushi involvement as she likes her fish cooked, which Alistair thinks fussy but she feels is just sensible. The implication that Alistair isn't sensible is the cause of more horseplay and outraged quackage, but they manage not to capsize. Huskily, Denise thanks Alistair for today, and he tells her it's his absolute pleasure. She tells him that he makes her feel present, really there in her own life, which Alistair thinks is the nicest thing anyone's ever said to him. Denise reminisces. When she first met him, before there were any intentions attached, she thought he was quite handsome, but he didn't know it, which was cute; of course now, his ego's just massive! Alistair protests, amused.

Neil has arrived at Grange Farm to collect Martha, who is having a high old time playing on the tractor. He tells Emma they've got a good week for haymaking. You'd think, she says, then explains about being neck-deep in tree surgery work: the Darrington job is a big one for newbies like them, so George is taking over on the farm. Neil supposes his grandson knows what he's doing, but senses that Emma has reservations, and she confirms that they need someone to keep an eye out. Neil says he can do that – pop over in his lunch break and check in in the morning, or on the way home. A hoot from the tractor signals that Martha is still having fun, and the pair chuckle indulgently. Neil asks how Chris was when Emma spoke to him. She relays that he told her about Alice going to rehab and Neil asks if he also mentioned his bottle of cider mystery, as George yells that Martha is refusing to get out of the cab. Emma tells her father that he didn't today, although he was being all Sherlock Holmes about it last week. 'Sherlock Holmes?' George queries, but Emma dismisses this and continues talking to Neil: Susan must have been pleased about Alice going to rehab. Neil confirms she was. Emma just hopes it works. Neil thinks it's time he was off and goes to try and extract Martha from the tractor, and George asks what Grandad was saying about Chris. Emma explains he's just obsessing about a bottle of cider that was in Alice's car, breaking off to shout child-wrangling instructions to Ed. George asks if that was on the night of the crash, and wonders why Chris obsessed about that. Emma is distracted again by attempts to capture Martha, but tells him Chris is probably just desperate to believe the best of Alice and it's nothing for him to worry about: he's done enough for Alice. George won't let it drop: why is Chris obsessing about it? Emma tells him it's because she had a bottle of vodka, so why would she need a bottle of cider. Anyway, it's not important, she tells him tersely; right now they need to get their ducks in a row – has George heard back from Ben?

Denise regrets having to leave so soon, but if she doesn't prepare for Tuesday's conference now, she won't get anything done at all. Alistair remarks ruefully that she did say he had her for the whole day, and he would like to be in a world where he could be with her for the entire weekend, and the whole week, and beyond… Denise chides him as greedy, and tells him he'd get bored. Alistair thinks not and tells her he feels they've turned a corner, and after all the to-ing and fro-ing, they're finally in a place where when they're together they're really together. With some hesitation Denise says she knows she's going to have to tell John, and sooner rather than later. Alistair is enthusiastic about the prospect, but Denise is reluctant. As soon as she tells him, it's all going to get very serious very quickly, then Paul and Cara will need to know… Paul being all right concerns Alistair, and Denise isn't sure; she hopes so, but he's vulnerable at the moment: who knows how he, or his dad, will react. Days like today make her want to stop time in its tracks and just be here with Alistair. She doesn't want to face all that difficult stuff right now. To her evident surprise, Alistair accepts this, telling her she'll know when it's right to tell John.

Chris hasn't gone for drinks after the cricket, and tells Neil he wanted to get back to see to Martha. Neil remarks that Martha loved watching Chris at the match, adding that it was nice of Hannah to give her a run-around on the pitch afterwards. 'Yeah, she is nice,' Chris says. Neil agrees, rather emphatically, and tells Chris that Hannah likes him. Though Chris says flatly that she's a mate, but Neil says that when he and Hannah were talking, she only had eyes for Chris. When Chris wants to know what his point is, Neil thinks it should be obvious. Chris is a single man, Hannah a single woman, and they get along well. It's time Chris met other people, surely? Suspiciously, Chris asks if Neil has been talking to Emma, but Neil denies this, telling Chris that he's in his prime and shouldn't waste it. 'On Alice, you mean?' Chris snaps back. Disingenuously, Neil protests that he never even mentioned Alice; but once all this is over, Chris is going to have to start living life for himself. After all, Alice moved on with Harry – which was a mistake, as Chris is quick to point out. 'Hers to make, and one of many', Neil says bitterly. Chris protests, but Neil suggests it's time Chris made a few mistakes of his own now. Chris goes back to his argument about Alice: why would she plead not guilty if she'd done it? Neil warns him not to let his mother hear him still going on about that, but Chris is firm that something doesn't add up. Angrily, Neil says that if Chris is going to be of any use to Martha, or even to Alice, he's got to get on with his own life. And he deserves some happiness. Chris says he can't stand it: what if Alice is right and no one believes her because she's just some drunk? He can't abandon her. Neil says no one's telling him to do that. They're just scared that in all of this, Chris will end up losing himself.

Summarised by Gus

Monday 8th July, 2024

Lilian is out of sorts, and the tedder is out of commission.

Characters: Neil, Ben, George, Justin, Lilian
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Neil has popped over to Grange Farm to check on the haymaking. It's going well, Ben says: they'd be quicker if George didn't insist on filming everything with his drone, but the grass is spread and Ben is clearing out the stackyard ready for the bales. Neil enquires how George has been and Ben has no complaints except that he wishes he'd put his shirt back on Ben thinks he's trying to impress his female social media audience. Neil chuckles, then observes that the tedder looks as if it has seen better days; Ben concurs. George joins them, asking if Neil has come to check up on him, which Neil denies. Ben then asks George how the tedder was. George says defensively that it is fine, and wants to know why, and Ben tells him it's old and looks as if it's about to fall apart. Neil says machinery is tough if it's looked after, then advises George not to go too fast, what with the rocks and the anthills. George declines Neil's offer to inspect the tedder, but Neil takes no notice. Ben tells George his grandfather is only trying to help, but George reckons he doesn't need any. Is George ever off his phone, Ben asks him. George says he's waiting for a reply from Tilly; the reason for his shirtlessness is now clear to Ben, who gleefully informs George that he has some stiff competition in the form of Aiden Belshaw. George opines that he's a proper idiot [and you're a fake one? Gus] and Ben agrees, but on the other hand the Belshaws do have that big house up near the woods... George is thinking of asking La Button to the Winkley music festival this weekend. Ben sounds dubious, and tells George she seemed pretty into Aiden in the pub last night. George is put out that he was sniffing around Tilly; backpedalling slightly, Ben tells him they were just drinking together – but Tilly did seem to be lovin' it. Returning, Neil tells George the tedder is definitely a bit rickety and advises him not to take it over 5mph; did George give it a good clean, and grease it, before they started? George assures him that of course he did, and Ben coughs. If they keep it slow, Neil says, they should be fine, and the forecast for the week is good. George tells his granddad it was good of him to stop by, but they've got this. Neil again denies he is checking up on them, then beings a nostalgic rhapsody on haymaking, punctuated by cheek from the lads. Clearly, says Neil, the joys of haymaking have passed George by; he wonders how Ben is going to put up with him all week.

At the stables, Justin's birthday greeting is lost on Lilian, who just wants to know if Carlotta is around. She's disappointed not to have been there when she arrived, but Justin tells her she deserved a birthday manicure: she's been spreading herself too thin for too long. Peevishly, Lilian tells him they don't need everyone to know it's her birthday; she would have been there earlier but they started showing her nail jewels, and she got carried away – look! Justin's 'Lovely' conveys severely modified rapture. He then expresses surprise that Lilian Bellamy is trying to keep a birthday quiet and wonders whether a birthday kiss is permissible. It is, but cheek only, and Justin notes that he's not yet out of the doghouse. Lilian ignores this, telling him she bought some bits for Martha, but doesn't know how to pass them on given that she daren't face any of the family after last week. She finishes quelling him by saying that anyway, birthdays are just another day and they've got work to do. That, Justin explains to Lilian's evident disappointment, is why he hasn't done anything too special. Carlotta's been there since about six, Justin tells her, and so far, so good. Unenthusiastically, Lilian supposes she can get on with the handover documentation. Before that, Justin says, they have birthday croissants and coffee waiting. Lilian tells him crushingly that simply adding the prefix 'birthday' to everything does not make it special, but he chortles, horribly, that she must wait till she sees his croissants.

On the tractor as they ted, Ben says he knows what Neil meant; he loves this, and thinks that if some of the patients he sees could spend time outside working in the sunshine, they'd feel so much better. George greets this with the contempt it deserves: he doubts they could lug bales (depending on what's wrong with them). As Ben recycles Neil's reminiscences about community haymaking, George's phone pings: it's Tilly. As Ben is suggesting he could maybe slow down a bit George tells him Tilly's coming over and he is to make himself scarce when she arrives. 'Whatever you say, George,' Ben says, but George is oblivious to the sarcasm and just tells him he is really good to work with: no fuss, he knows who's in charge, and he just gets on with it. There is an almighty graunch, which Ben superfluously says doesn't sound good, and as George wonders what it is, Ben reminds him he said to slow down.

Justin has just ended a call to Stella, which Lilian says was longer than expected. Stella's attending her first board meeting as the new NED for Nature, he explains, and Lilian says she didn't think Stella was the nervous type. Justin says there's nothing like a bunch of stiff, entitled old grumps to knock you off your A-game. Lilian asks whether he includes himself in that description and he admits that he is as entitled, and grumpy – 'and old?' Lilian interjects – as the rest of the BL board: he just looks snazzier. Stella wants him to take a look at her initial proposals for the meeting, but he just hasn't the time. Speaking of ideas, has he had any thoughts about a nice big event for when the stables is out of lockdown, Lilian asks. He hasn't, which disappoints Lilian: it's got to be something really special as a thank-you for the clients' patience during the strangles outbreak. Who better to think up some fresh new ideas than their fresh new manager, asks Justin, instantly corrected by Lilian to cover manager; Justin reminds her Carlotta had a lot to say at interview about strategies for improvement. Lilian counters that she was a bit too blue-sky thinking, with no proper handle on the concept of a budget, which Justin claims is unfair, since they didn't impose a budget when they asked the question. Shifting her ground, Lilian is put out that Carlotta left a birthday card on her desk; thankfully whoever informed her hadn't mentioned her age. She tells Justin he doesn't have to help Carlotta wheedle her way into Lilian's good books: good honest graft will do that, no sucking up necessary. In a slight non sequitur, Justin takes it that Lilian won't be wanting her present, then. 'Justin! Did you get me a present?' Lilian exclaims, going all kittenish.

Ben is full of statements of the obvious: they can't get on until it's fixed, and George should ring Neil, who did say not to go to fast. Tightly, George tells him that he wasn't and that he is ringing Neil. Answering Neil asks if everything is all right; Ben mutters 'That'll be a no' as George says that the tedder is broken and it looks as if a bearing has gone on one of the rotors. Neil reckons they'll need to get a mechanic out. How much have they got left to do? A field and a half, George estimates. [And how many acres is that? Chris.] Neil says they won't get anywhere with a bearing gone; he'll call Evan and see if he can come out today. George asks anxiously whether it is going to be expensive, and Neil isn't wholly reassuring, but says Evan's a fair chap and it shouldn't cost too much. He asks whether George kept the speed down like he said, and George assures his Granddad that of course he did while Ben snorts derisively. Neil tells them not to worry: that tedder's been on its last legs for ages; he has to go. After he rings off George tells Ben there's nothing they can do now until the mechanic's had a look, so Ben says they can can finish clearing out the stackyard, whereat George claims unconvincingly that he was just going to say that.

When he returns to The Stables later in the day Justin enquires if all has been quiet on the Western front, and Lilian responds by asking about his meeting. He says that Neil and Hannah are now a well-oiled machine keeping Berrow ticking over, and Lilian observes that reliable staff are a godsend. Justin wants to know how Carlotta is doing and Lilian reports that she has videoed the ponies for their owners and did a decent job. However, Lilian thinks Carlotta could loosen up and smile a bit more and is concerned that she got staff members' names muddled and committed the cardinal sin of calling Joanne 'Jo'. Justin points out that, to be fair, Carlotta was only introduced to everyone last week, but Lilian claims it's not a complaint, it's an observation: if managers don't get names right, things can go wrong quickly. Lilian indignantly repudiates Justin's accusation that perhaps she's decided not to like her, telling him not to be ridiculous. Then she sighs that it isn't Carlotta, it's her; Carlotta was brightly sharing suggestions for the reopening, some of them with potential, and all Lilian could think of was Alice, whose suggestion the event was – it's such a shame she can't plan it herself. Justin gently reminds her that Alice is not there; Lilian knows that, she's not an idiot, but she can't help feeling she's stabbing Alice in the back. He reassures her that she is doing no such thing, but she retorts that is easy for him to say: he's not the only one Alice had a go at. Everyone is so worried, especially Brian: even Miranda was worried about him being worried about Alice. Justin is flabbergasted that Lilian spoke to Miranda. She tells him that Miranda was actually very good about it, and understanding of all the factors at play, but he can't see why Miranda was speaking to Lilian in the first place. The explanation Lilian offers is that Miranda is concerned for Brian; he's not sleeping much. Justin says he can do without knowing Brian's intimate business, so Lilian adds that Miranda's just looking out for him; this causes Justin t say scathingly that Miranda's only concern is for Miranda, which Lilian regards as being spoken like a true Justin. He wants to know what that means, but she has lost interest and simply murmurs wearily that she doesn't know. Once more he tries to exonerate himself, saying that he knows she thinks he approached Alice the wrong way, and, although Lilian tells him she really does not want to discuss it again, he goes on regardless. They are not stabbing anyone in the back, least of all Alice. If she gets herself out of this rut (Lilian is goaded into response: when, not if, because now she's in rehab there's every chance she will; she might as well have saved her breath) doesn't Lilian want her to come back to a place that's thriving? Of course Lilian does, and insists tremulously that Alice will get better. Comfortingly, Justin intones that of course she will, Darling, and it's what everyone is hoping for.

Summarised by Gus

Tuesday 9th July, 2024

Pip is entranced by some kittens, while Paul is fascinated with Paul.

Characters: Pip, Stella, Paul, Alistair, Neil, Ben, assorted felines
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Entering the bungalow, Pip calls a cheery 'Morning!' to Stella, who is still in bed despite it being, as Pip then points out, nearly afternoon – the luxury of a day off, which Stella at once teases her she would hate. Probably, Pip concedes, although Rosie would fill it even if she wasn't farming. Stella's laugh is brief and humourless. Pip observes that for a day off, this looks like a lot of work, and Stella says if she can just get the pitch right... she wants people eating out of her hands. Pip queries if the BL board qualify as 'people' and Stella agrees that the jury's still out on that, though they will listen to reason, she says firmly, and she will reason them into a green package to be proud of for the coming decades. The response to that is that the world must watch out, with Stella adding that Stella Pryor's coming to the rescue, and then Pip asks what Stella's going to wear. Hannah's interview suit, Stella says, pointing it out where it's hanging. Pip observes it's pretty sharp-looking and Stella adds that it's uncomfortable-looking too but she feels they'll be more open to her ideas if she looks like one of the gang. Pip reckons the suit should do the trick: Stella will fit right in with the sparkling water and the mini-croissants [which sounded more excruciating than you are imagining, trust me. Gus]. Stella is excited at the prospect of pastries and Pip asks her to pop some in her handbag for her. [This will cause an indescribable mess, if we are talking about croissants. Chris.] But now she'd better head over to Grange Farm to see if they have any extra bales for Brookfield; Stella can come if she wants, and get some fresh air, a suggestion Stella greets with wholly inexplicable glee.

Things are quiet at the practice with Denise on a course and Jakob out, and Paul tells Alistair he's doing okay, all things considered. Alistair opines that it was a bit harsh, handing him his stuff there and then, but Paul thinks it was harsh but necessary. He then asks how he knows that and Alistair, shiftily, says he thinks Paul's mum must have mentioned it. Yesterday. At work. Paul says at least it saved him having to go through Etienne's flat for his stuff. Alistair tells him he's doing well. Paul's feeling okay, too, a bit sad but content: he didn't want what Etienne wanted, so Paul ended it. Alistair applauds this, saying relationships are hard work; Paul observes that they can be and that's when alarm bells should be ringing. Alistair asks whether it isn't tea and biscuits round about now. So that's why he's hanging around reception, and there was Paul thinking Alistair was interested in his love life! Alistair protests that he does care. Paul apologises for his mum having mentioned it, but she takes his all-too-frequent relationship problems to heart. Alistair tells him it's because Denise cares, which Paul knows: she even dropped off a food parcel on Sunday. Paul knows Denise had planned a day out with friends on Sunday, so it was sweet of her to think of him. It's what mums do, Alistair tells him. But Paul's not at home now, and a grown-up, he retorts, and is trying not to interrupt her life with his stresses any more. Alistair is sure Denise doesn't see it that way, and Paul treats him to a rundown of the differences between him and his low-maintenance, travel-mad sister: Cara's self-sufficient, like his dad. She is back-packing across Canada at the moment. Paul reckons he was spoilt as a result, having his parents so much to himself, so he tried to do the grown-up thing on Sunday and not interfere with her day out. Alistair's sorry Paul went through that alone, but Paul corrects him: he wasn't alone. The phone rings, and Paul promises a tea-break after he's taken the call.

Neil greets Stella and Pip as they arrive at Grange Farm. Pip notes that there's very little haymaking going on, while Stella observes it's great weather for it. Both Neil and Ben laugh when asked where George is: Neil sent him indoors while the tedder is being repaired to put calamine lotion on. Smugly, Ben tells them that's what happens if you spend all day outside without a shirt, and no suncream. Giggling, the women express disbelief and wonder why, and Ben can't wait to blab that it was in aid of posting videos for Tilly Button, who keeps promising to come and watch George lugging bales but hasn't shown up yet. Pip and Stella find this hilarious but Neil turns the conversation to his new favourite subject: what happened to sitting around on haybales with a beer and your shirt on, with the sun shining, the smell of fresh hay, and some meaningful conversation? There's nothing more romantic. In that case, Ben thinks, Neil should get Susan down there for a date night. Neil goes off,to check the pallets are down in the stackyard before he has to leave to pick up Martha. Pip wonders if they will be able to sell Brookfield some more hay and Ben tells her George said they should have enough, then Neil calls Ben over to have a look at something.

Tea-break at the practice features the last of the biscuits, which Paul says Denise is going to top up. Alistair declines one as he's trying to shed a few pounds, and Paul immediately wants to know who the lucky lady is: has he got another date with luscious Laura from the Little Croxley cricket team? Alistair says that won't be happening soon, or ever: he's just trying to be healthier, that's all, and asks who it was who helped with the Etienne situation on Sunday. Paul says he spoke to his dad and Alistair wonders how Paul managed to get him off his bike, then hastily apologises. Paul gets it: but John was brilliant on Friday, taking Paul for a drink and chat, exactly what he needed to be able to think the relationship through, and he dropped round on Sunday and they had a real heart-to-heart. After hesitation, Alistair tells Paul that's really good. It seems that talking to his Dad made Paul realise he's an old soul; he knows he likes to be with people, and party, but what he craves most of the time is someone to curl up on the sofa with and watch rubbish with, with a massive bag of crisps. [And this shows him to be an 'old soul' how exactly? Chris.] 'That's nice,' Alistair says weakly. Paul goes on some more, recalling weekends when his parents snuggled on the sofa doing small, normal stuff and loving it, all of them together: Paul would squish himself in the middle [whereas I would squish him round the throat, speaking purely personally. Gus] [and Chris] so they would have to hold hands over him. He regrets that now, and, when Alistair asks why, explains that it was their precious time together and he should have let them have it. Somewhat subdued, Alistair says he and his sister seldom witnessed affection between their parents, although they knew they loved each other, and expresses the hope that Paul will find that someone to share his time, and crisps, with. When Paul asks whether he doesn't want to find that perfect someone, he replies blandly that maybe he will.

At Grange Farm, the visitors have gathered to admire the litter of kittens Neil has discovered. Ben says they will have to work out what to do with them. Neil thinks Clarrie and Eddie wouldn't have time for a cat and her litter of five, and Pip thinks David and Ruth wouldn't be happy about it either, though Ben chimes in that Gran would. Pip tells him fiercely not to even think about it: he knows Gran wouldn't be able to say no, and she wouldn't ask for help if it got too much. Helpfully, Stella adds that they might be sweet kittens now but in a few weeks they will be six cats, and that is quite a handful. Ben wants to know what they are supposed to do with them, and Neil advises doing nothing for now, just keeping an eye out for them while they're haymaking. They can get a few bales round for protection and let her stay until her litter's ready to move on. This doesn't seem right to Ben, but Stella assures him the cat will know how to protect them, and Neil says she'll move them on herself when she's ready, but perhaps they could look for homes for them. Pip wants a photo taken with the kitten she has picked up. Stella didn't know she was so into cats; Pip isn't, but kittens are just so gorgeous. Ben urges her to put it back, saying that the mum doesn't look too happy, but Pip is confident she knows they're not going to harm them. Stella ought to be making a move, and although Pip says she could watch the kittens for ages Stella is unmoved, and drags Pip away. Neil tells Ben he should be getting on too, once the tedder is fixed. Ben wonders whether they should put some food out but Neil explains [To the trainee nurse, who grew up on a farm. Gus] the kittens will be fine with mother's milk for the moment, but mum will need something. He goes to tell George to bring something out for her.

Paul is giving Alistair, who sounds distracted and dejected, an X-ray of the cocker spaniel that was in earlier, and asks if he can leave early tomorrow: Denise will be back and it doesn't look too busy. Alistair says that's fine but asks why. Paul says his dad's coming over, so he wants to check everything is tip-top – and he's got some nice stuff in for dinner. Alistair asks how Paul is holding up, and Paul wants to know if he looks unhappy. Alistair says no, but his mum called on her lunch break and wanted Alistair to keep an eye on him. Paul doesn't sound too happy. Denise shouldn't have bothered Alistair, and she should be able attend a conference without worrying about Paul's personal dramas. They're not dramas, it's his life, according to Alistair, and Paul says he thinks that's why his dad is coming over: to check in and make sure he really is OK. Alistair tells him it's what parents do, and Paul muses that he supposes so; his parents are in such a good place now and all they need is for them to stop worrying about him and his sister – well, him – and they'd be perfect. Alistair says that parents never stop worrying: it's part of the job description. Paul acknowledges he is lucky to have them, and says he will get out of Alistair's hair. Alistair seems relieved, but Paul still has a parting shot up his sleeve. Maybe it's because he's got his parents in my head that he can't find 'the one'. Maybe he's aiming too high. We can't all be his Mum and Dad, right? When Paul has gone, Alistair sighs deeply.

Summarised by Gus

Wednesday 10th July, 2024

Lilian gets encouraging news; John just gets the message.

Characters: Jazzer, Joy, Denise, John, Justin, Lilian
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Jazzer tells Joy that Berrow will provide a piglet and visitors can guess its weight [Biosecurity, anyone? Gus] but the fete committee need to find a prize. Joy says that won't be a problem. Denise comes into the shop and, when the fete is mentioned, apologises for not having got back to Joy about the tombola: she absolutely can offer some dance fitness classes as prizes. Joy says it's turning out to be a very productive day. Denise needs supplies for work: milk, teabags and biscuit reinforcements. Joy goes through to the back, leaving Denise to make her selection. Jazzer too is buying biscuits: Brad's heavily into the chocolate ones and needs a steady supply. Jazzer asks after Alistair, whom Denise says is OK; she'll tell him Jazzer said hi. Jazzer says he saw Alistair yesterday and adds with emphasis that he looked well, very well and Denise does and all. Discomfited, Denise asks if everything's OK but goes silent as Joy comes back through. Jazzer says he'd best skedaddle. As Joy attends to another customer, Denise asks Jazzer why he is looking at her as if he knows something, and Jazzer explains he's just really happy for Alistair and her, that they've finally… 'John!' Denise exclaims in horrified surprise. What is he doing there? John reminds her he's seeing Paul tonight; he thought he'd cycle in the area and head straight to Paul's afterwards. He says 'That's a lot of biscuits,' and Jazzer reassures him that Denise isn't going to eat them all – they're for the biscuit drawer at work. John seems taken aback and Denise is forced to introduce the pair: John, this is Jazzer. Jazzer, this is John. 'Her other half,' John fills in. Jazzer says he'd guessed as much, babbling that he knew by the cycling gear, because everyone says how much John loves cycling, then scuttles off to pay. Denise apologises for him and says he is a bit, um... and John asks how she knows Jazzer. He lives in the village and works at Berrow, she explains; 'He's lovely really.' John doesn't seem convinced. He asks if Denise is working late tonight and whether she's coming to Paul's; she says it looks like it, and sure. Since Paul is making dinner, John advises her not to eat too many biscuits.

At the stables, Justin tells Lilian that Jakob has reported negative strangles tests all round and no new cases; while obviously there are no guarantees, Jakob reckons planning the reopening event is feasible if things continue as they are. Lilian is vastly relieved and says they need to get their plans in motion, then breaks off to ask Justin what he's doing. He's seeing if the pasture is clear but Lilian tells him all the paddocks are: she checked with Carlotta this morning. When Justin asks if she managed to get everyone's name right, Lilian, who has clearly had a change of heart, says yes, and she's impressed by Carlotta's tenacity and presence of mind. She's been mucking in with the mucking out, talking to suppliers the on her earbuds at the same time. If being called 'Lil' every so often is the only downside, then Carlotta gets a thumbs up from Lilian so far.

At the till, Joy is running off at the mouth as John waits to pay for his water, telling him that Denise works them hard in her dance fitness classes and that they make a lovely couple, him all fit from the cycling and Denise dancing away the calories. Denise's 'Thanks, Joy' sounds less than thrilled. John bids farewell, and Denise tells him to ride safely. Joy's telling her that her John's ever so nice; so tall and handsome gets unenthusiastic 'yeahs' from Denise; when she asks if Denise has got everything she needs there is a long pause before Denise muses that sometimes it's not what you need, though, it's what you want. Or the other way around. She asks the baffled Joy to give her a second and goes after her husband, asking if she can have a word before he heads off. 'Sure,' says John, but if it's about Etienne, he's never liked the guy but he did not tell Paul to end it. 'I know,' Denise sighs; she wasn't fond of Etienne herself, if she's honest. 'Great minds,' John laughs; Denise does not laugh. She asks whether John knows that when they're talking about love and stuff, Paul always tells his friends they can't all have what his mum and dad have; mystified, John utters a non-committal 'does he?' remark, and she goes on: she wonders if he knows that even they don't have what they used to have, not any more. John asks what this is about. She asks him to sit with her for a minute on that bench over there.

Jazzer has gone back in to the shop, saying he'd forgotten what he really came in for, and asks Joy what she's doing by the window. When she claims that she is watching the world go by, he suggests that she means John and Denise, and Joy admits it. They seemed fine a second ago, but then she left her stuff in the shop and went outside, and they've been sitting on that bench for ages. Jazzer asks if Denise looks happy. Joy wouldn't say so, but she doesn't look sad either. Discussion of how each of the couple look is protracted yet inconclusive, until Joy, without much conviction, tells Jazzer they shouldn't be watching, really.

Lilian is talking of hosting their event on the cross-country course, with a pony-club-style camp for the children and show-jumping and competitions. 'Just for the children?' Justin queries, but there will be different competitions for adults as well, and medals... Justin asks if the event has a name yet; Lilian lists the current options, saying that personally, she thinks they may have to go back to the drawing board. Justin queries her use of 'we', and hears that Lilian and Carlotta have been working together, and that Lilian thinks Carlotta's come up trumps. Justin just can't tell Lilian how nice it is to see Lilian smiling easily and getting back to her old self. He asks if this refreshing transformation is due to Carlotta. She tells him it's not only Carlotta: she got a message from Alice this morning, adding that it was just a few snatched words because inmates don't get much time on her phones and Alice must want to use her time to speak to Martha. Justin asks how Alice is, and Lilian says they will have to wait and see. Tearfully, she tells him Alice said she loved her. She wished her a belated happy birthday and said she was sorry for what she's put Lilian through these last few months. Lilian had been worried Alice would spend all her time in rehab hating her ('you mean me,' Justin puts in) so this is like a weight being lifted off her chest; she can breathe a little bit easier. Justin assures her that Jenny's children are lucky to have their aunt: she's doing a brilliant job.

Denise tells John that she doesn't think any of this is a surprise to him. Don't look at her like that; he knows there've been issues, he knows she's wanted to talk about them. John asks what talking is going to do, and Denise is incensed. Really? He's shocked she feels this way and in the same breath he's telling her talking's no use? Every time she's tried to broach the subject, he's off out! He says they are comfortable, and it's where marriages are supposed to be after this many years, like his mum and dad. Denise rasps that they are not his mum and dad. He tells her his parents stayed the distance; if they had problems, they worked through them, and she retorts that you have to discuss something to work through it. John concedes they're not all fireworks and Fifty Shades of Grey, but they had something, and have hit a rocky patch and you don't just opt out; she tells him wearily that it's not a patch, it's a desert. Sighing, John suggests they talk about it at home but Denise insists it should be here, now. She reminds him that when he was in St Lucia, he cried on the phone, remember? He said life was too short and we can make things better again... John interrupts, saying his mum was ill, but Denise asks why, if he didn't think they had any issues, he was saying those things. John thinks they can work on things, get back to where they were when they were good, but Denise asks how long ago that was and wants to know if it is even possible to go that far back. John reckons it is, but Denise says it takes work, constant work, and they've both taken their eye off the ball for too long. John insists it isn't that bad. When she doesn't respond, he asks if she is bored now, and is leaving him. Denise protests that she doesn't want it to be like that, but John tells her that there she is. She doesn't think they are worth fighting for? Slowly, Denise tells him she thinks they would fight, and end up losing; some things shatter if you force them. John says it sounds as if she has made her decision. She thinks they left each other way before this conversation; actually leaving is just a formality. He wants to know why now: she's buying biscuits for work and suddenly, this. Why today? Denise's silence is eloquent, and John's 'There's someone else?' is more statement than question. Quietly, she admits it; but whatever John is thinking, it's not like that: this is something she tried to avoid for a long time. 'How long?' John demands. Denise tells him she tried to change her life to avoid this person, and he did the same, but in the end, very recently... she can't deny her feelings for him any more. John asks who it is and whether she is really going to make him guess, then, before Denise can answer, follows up with 'Is it that Alistair, your boss? Does Paul know?' Flatly, Denise tells him no: she wouldn't do that to Paul, or to him. He says that she has been carrying on with her boss under her son's nose: who is she?' She protests that she is herself, but John has had enough: he asks her to tell Paul he's not coming tonight; he doesn't know where he's going. Foolishly, Denise asks first why, giving him the opportunity to ask whether she really needs to ask, and then what she should tell Paul. Disgustedly, John tells her to make something up – she seems to be pretty good at it. He leaves.

[Aaaargh, this one was a bloody nightmare. Must be something to do with Wednesdays.]

Summarised by Gus

Thursday 11th July, 2024

Stella has a bad day, and George throws a tantrum.

Characters: George, Ben, Neil, Stella, Justin, Pip
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

George is recording a video update on the kittens at Grange Farm, who are doing well; their mum's better now about them being held, George thinks because they are feeding her. Ben comes out to see what he's doing, and is dismissive, even when George asks if he knows how many likes the channel has got since they discovered them; he points out George wasn't even there. Ben identifies the filming as the reason George has his shirt off again, not having learned his lesson, and George reports that Tilly's liked the latest video already, even though he's only just posted it. Ben reminds him they have bales to lug and stack. They decide who will lug (Ben) and who stack (George) just as Neil joins them. George asks when Neil has to get back to work, and Neil says he has the day off but as he's told Susan he'll look after Martha while she's working in the shop, he's only got a couple of hours. George doesn't think much of this programme for a day off. His phone pings, and Neil tells him to put it away as they've work to do. George says Neil can get off now as he's got this covered. When Neil wryly asks if that is like he had the tedder covered, George indignantly retorts that was not his doing. Ben asks what George is grinning about and learns that Tilly has definitely said she's coming to look at the kittens, and George has said she can have a hold. Ben sneers this is like she was definitely coming to see George haymaking, and advises George not to hold his breath. Neil wonders whether the guinea pig Tilly's cousin bought is still alive, and Ben speculates that Tilly will bring her cousin along today. George tells him to shut up [Rather than punching him in the mouth, which I am itching to do myself. Gus] and Ben observes that it's the sunburn making George moody. Neil comments that George is red as a lobster and will be blistering on his shoulders, and advises sunblock and a shirt. In return, George complains that he is not a baby – and his back is too sore for a shirt. There's no point trying to impress girls if you're burnt to a crisp, Neil tells him, while Ben has another go, saying Tilly's been promising to turn up since they started, but has yet to show. George tells Ben to keep his trap shut, and Ben retaliates with the news that Tilly is going to the festival over in Winkley with the Belshaw lad: Josh said that Molly told Lily Tilly's going with Aiden. George doesn't want to believe it. Neil then asks what they are talking about, and Ben, who is clearly confused, says it's the music festival over in Ramsbury. Neil tries to refocus them on work and promises a break shortly.

Stella is at the BL office and on the phone to Justin: she thought he'd be there by now. He says she sounds a bit off. She's just fine, she says, excited but just a little bit nervous. Justin tells her that's a winning combination. She'd been hoping they could go over her proposals and asks if he's had a chance to look at what she sent; Justin claims it's been a busy week, it looked good to him at a quick glance. He tells her she'll be fine, and she asks where he is. He's just leaving and suggests she go into the board room and settle herself. She suggests hopefully that she could wait for him, but he says she shouldn't be late and he might be. She tries to press him about the statement she will suggest the board adopt, but Justin has to go: Lilian is calling. As Stella growls with frustration, her phone rings again. It's Pip. She won't keep Stella, but she wanted to say knock 'em dead, don't take any crap from anyone, and not to worry if they're poker-faced when she's speaking: it's what they do. Good call, says Stella, and thanks Pip, who adds that it will just be the plastic surgery restricting their facial expressions. Cheered, Stella thanks Pip again, and Pip promises her she'll ace it. Stella tells her she's quite looking forward to the challenge and will have the meeting eating out of her hand before they know it. Pip says that's the spirit.

As they work, Ben is still banging on about the festival: apparently Josh, Lily and Paul are all going, and Freddie too. George doesn't know what the big deal is. Ben knows why Josh is going: The Straw Crows are playing and he goes to all their gigs because of the girl he fancies. He suggests George should go and that the others would let him ride with them, but George claims not to be fussed. If George is really into Tilly, Ben says, he shouldn't make things so easy for Aiden. He's a looker, isn't he? George asks glumly, then hastily denies that he thinks he's anything special: he's a bit tubby. Because he hasn't got a six-pack? Ben snarks, and George asks if Ben's jealous, to which Ben retorts that he's not when the skin's peeling off it. Neil calls them to order and says they need to get the load back to the stackyard. When George asks about Ramsbury Ben says he won't be going [George is also confused; the BBC synopsis is definite about the music festival being at Winkley. Chris]; it's not his scene and he has an assignment to hand in. Don't judge, says George, checking his phone. He's going to make another video of the kittens. Ben can't see what there is to update: they're just kittens and sleep by their mum or drink milk, that's all. George retorts that they're his kittens, Ben claims that he and Neil found them, and George points out (inaccurately) that it's his farm. Sanctimoniously, Ben tells him they're not chick magnets or clickbait, they're little living creatures, and George argues he's not harming them, just sharing the joy. Neil asks if the pair are going to keep squabbling, or are they going to enjoy this glorious sunshine.

After the meeting, Justin asks how Stella is feeling. She tells him she is frustrated, and when he asks why, wonders if Justin was in the same meeting; they talked over her and Martyn interrupted her before she could get to her main point. And Justin and Martyn didn't help, wrangling with Brian over the agenda before they even started. Justin claims that Brian always wants last-minute additions: it shouldn't be allowed. Anyway, she knew this wasn't going to be a walk in the park, though she argues that the the board agreed to have a non-executive director for nature, didn't they? Justin points out that now they have her, she has to convince them to take on her proposals – which sounded great, by the way, and he meant what he said in the meeting about holding their feet to the fire, he flannels. Stella wants to know how she can make them listen when they practically admitted her role was a greenwashing exercise. She just needs to keep doing what she's doing, Justin assures her; after all, she got agreement for an ecological survey of BL land, and this was the first meeting with you in post. They were always going to be a bit obstinate; now, Stella doesn't just have her foot in the door, she has her bottom on a seat at the table. She is partly mollified until Justin tries to drag her off to post-meeting drinks, she demurs: not with them! Anyway, she told Pip she'd be back for dinner. If she leaves now, he tells her, they'll think they have her running scared. Sometimes more business gets done at after-meeting drinks than in the meeting itself. Come on!

Neil tells Ben he's got a couple of beers and some fruit ciders, and Ben asks for a beer. Both give sighs of satisfaction as they drink: there's nothing like a cool beer after lugging bales. Ben asks where George is, and learns that Neil sent him indoors to put more calamine on his back, which looks awful. Ben laughs, but Neil says it's not funny. George joins them, and is delighted by the sight of beers, but then sees what has been left for him. George wants to know how come they have beers, and Neil explains he had a couple of beers and a pack of cider. Ben chips in with 'you snooze, you lose,' as Neil tells George it's nice and fruity and wants to know what's wrong with him: it's a cold drink on a hot day after all that work, and he should enjoy it. Stuttering, George wants to know why him and not Ben, and Ben tells him to rein it in, it's just a drink, just as Neil says George likes cider, doesn't he? George, now in a proper strop, says they've been having a go at him all day. Neil tells them to pack it in, adding that George's Nana bought the cider because it was on offer at the shop, and he didn't fancy it so he though he'd bring it there. Ben offers to swap drinks with George, who says that's not the point. Neil asks what is, and George shouts 'Nothing!' as he storms off. What the devil was that about, Neil wonders. Ever helpful, Ben is ready with an explanation: girl trouble. He's a bit miffed that Tilly's going to that music festival with Aidan. Neil says anyone would think the Button sisters are the only girls in Borsetshire and Ben predicts George will get over it, adding 'cheers!'

As Stella arrives back at the bungalow, her phone rings, and she answers it wearily. It's Pip again. Pip was wondering if the post-meeting drink turned into drinks, plural, and says she's ordered a boatload of Thai food; Lottie's asked her to organise her mate's hen do and Pip needs help. The tom yum soup is a bribe. Stella's sorry, but she's shattered. Pip protests that she wants to hear all about the board meeting too. How did it go? Well, she thinks, or so she's told, even though she feels like she's sold her soul to the devil, Stella says. And Pip was spot on with her warnings: they were absolutely poker-faced, when they weren't interrupting her – which was often. Justin was useless, and she felt so awkward when he and Martyn were laying into Brian who is her boss, she complains, adding that there were quibbles about the agenda, and that the sisterhood she expected from the women in the room failed to materialise; they were worse than the men. She prepared in detail to talk through my four clear goals for the business – social, human, economic, environmental – clear, concise, absolutely relevant to the business and my role. And she had them asking if she's going to expect them to wear vegan sandals and sell their 4x4s, Stella tells Pip disgustedly. And then Justin dragged her off for drinks with the same bunch of – Sympathetically, Pip says she is sorry, then urges Stella to come over. Stella is apologetic, but she just needs to get out of her suit and into her PJs. Pip says she hasn't eaten but Stella reckons a piece of toast will do. All she wants is to get to bed and sleep. Pip understands. Stella thanks her and tells her she's been really sweet. Pip tells her to sleep well, and enjoy her toast. She'll save the world next time. After she has rung off, Stella murmurs 'I doubt it, Pip,' sighing deeply.

Summarised by Gus

Friday 12th July, 2024

Denise is Intense, and David doesn't actually drop a clanger but apologises anyway.

Characters: Denise, Paul, Alistair, Pip, David, Stella
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

When asked his plans for the evening by Denise, Paul eventually reveals after much pointless wittering that his Dad is planning to come over for the evening; this is ideal because Lily and Josh are out for the evening. They're all planning to go to the Winkley Music Festival so the other two are off to buy pro-things. Denise wants to know how Paul's Dad sounded, but he left a text message so Paul doesn't know. As Paul leaves to put things back into the store-cupboard Alistair comes in, and Denise asks furtively if they can speak. In private. Alistair fails to whisper 'sure' but asks her if everything is OK and whether it is about John; Denise, milking the drama, whispers yes, but that Paul will be back any minute, so Alistair suggests she could just pop into the office when she's ready.

In concord over some cows, David is sympathising with Pip about Stella having had a rough time with the BL board, though he and Ruth were grateful for the leftover Thai food, which they had for lunch: Pip wasn't in the mood for any after hearing how bad Stella was feeling. Pip complains shrilly that there is no reason for the board to have alienated Stella like that, and launches into a general diatribe against said board for always making things tough; David reminds her that he is no fan of the BL board and he's surprised Stella went for the rôle when clearly they are greenwashing something coming up the pipeline, and scoffs at her title, what was it, 'Non-Executive Director for Nature': what does that even mean? Stella arriving at the moment shuts both Pip and David up in short order. The two woman hug, and talk to each other to the exclusion of David until Stella says she has to go, she just wanted to see Pip face to face, at which juncture David suggests Pip could head off too and he'll finish the milking. Pip takes him up on it, saying she will just walk Stella out and then pop back and help finish.

When Denise finally goes into Alistair's office he has clearly been on eleventerhooks, and in a quiet voice asks what's happened. Equally quietly she tells him John is coming to see Paul tonight, but really has no other information to justify secrecy and hole-in-corner assignation. She does confirm that she is sure Paul knows nothing, and Alistair still can't believe John guessed that it was him: Denise tells him his was the first name out of John's mouth. She now says she needs to speak to John, doesn't she [I got the distinct impression she already had. Chris], and find out what frame of mind he's in; Alistair considers this a good thought. Their tête-a-tête is interrupted by Paul thumping on the door and walking in as he does so in order to tell Alistair that Sabrina Thwaite is coming in with Tosca [a labradoodle. Chris], a suspected grass seed 'between her paws'. Sabrina's a bit upset, he reports, and Tosca in a lot of pain. Alistair [thank goodness! Chris] at once becomes professional and asks Denise to make ready to assist, but she passes this on to Paul on the grounds she has to make some phone calls: he offers to make the phone calls for her, but she turns the offer down. Paul goes to set everything up.

Stella is sorry she has to get back so quick ]sic. Chris], but Pip tells her not to worry, and lists all her coming chores. She mentions they could do with a bit more rain, and a silence falls, but when Pip asks 'What?' Stella tells her to keep talking, and they indulge in some heavy-handed flirtiness; Stella invites herself over to Rickyard for the evening meal, but Pip has already included her in an invitation to Brookfield Farmhouse. More flirting follows, with Stella suggesting she is just a humble farmer with a humble farmer's wife, and Pip wondering if that was a proposal. Stella realised last night that she didn't like sitting there like one of the board when she's really not: she's in the room and her opinions will be entertained but they don't have to adhere to any of it. Pip feels that if she says it in the right way they just might, and if she can show it's good for business they'll have to listen. Stella apparently honestly thinks that Justin really believes that the environment, nature, sustainability, have to be at the core of any modern business if it's going to survive into the future; Pip is glad, and also is sorry about Dad. Stella is surprised, but Pip says she thinks Stella overheard his comments; Stella says it's all right and she knows what everyone is thinking when they hear about her rôle; Pip says she has a choice of either proving the nay-sayers wrong or ducking out now, and neither is a bad choice: she just has to figure out what's right for her, right now. This seems to comfort Stella, and more jollity about humble farmers ensues.

Denise has phoned because she wants to make sure John will come to Ambridge to see Paul, and won't change his mind again. He wants to know where she has been staying since Wednesday, and clearly finds it unlikely when she tells him she's been with Dawn; then when she says she told Dawn she needed some space, tells her lying comes really easy to her, which she says is not fair. She didn't want to tell anyone until John had a chance to process it, plus Paul doesn't even know yet. He is put out that she hasn't thought about trying again, hasn't even called; she patiently explains that she thought John needed space, after the way he left on Wednesday. He asks hesitantly whether that means she does want to try to fix this, and, with a heavy sigh, she reminds him they've had years to address it and they haven't. He says that's because he didn't think it was that broken, and she tells him that's not true: some people would say if he didn't know it was broken, that alone is reason enough not to be together. John angrily asks if 'he' said that, and Denise tells him she doesn't want to do this over the phone, and not while she's at work. [In which case why did she ring him, and from work? Chris.] He tells her he is coming to see Paul today, and wants to know what they are telling him: that she decided their marriage is over? She decided, and she has to own the decision. She knows, and she will come with him, after work. They should tell him together. John laughs bitterly: so she wants to be together for that. She wonders what he's going to think, and John doesn't know; she wants to know whether John is going to tell him about Alistair, and he throws the question back at her, saying he has never lied to either of them and Paul needs to know what's going on, but her affair with his boss, right under his nose, maybe she should tell him about that herself. He rings off.

Stella has turned up at Brookfield for dinner before Pip, who is still out with the platemeter, and meets David. He is embarrassed about what she may have overheard him say in the parlour about her post with the BL board, but she tells him not to worry: he's not the first to say it. He says he really didn't mean to mock the rôle or anything, it's just that the BL board does get under his skin. She corrects him: he did mean to mock it, but it's OK. One of her first thoughts when Justin told her about it was to wonder what they were trying to greenwash. For what it's worth though, she does think Justin is sincere in taking her on, and there's a lot of good work could come of this rôle. David is sceptical: Justin, and sincere, in the same sentence? Stella laughs, then says the more she thinks about it, it doesn't matter what their motivations are; what matters are hers. She's in a position to make a positive change. Their priority is profit, but it's her job to make them realise that accounting for nature and diversity is good for the planet and good for their balance-sheet. David approvingly says that sounds like fighting talk, and Stella, sounding surprised, agrees that it does, doesn't it.

Denise is delaying leaving the office, and is there when John comes in looking for Paul, who goes to get his jacket. Alistair is also there, and awkwardly greets John; Paul tells him he is welcome to come for a drink, and dinner, of which he has lots. Denise butts in to say Alistair is busy: she already asked him. John remarks that they have a lot to catch up on, and lot to talk about as a family, and Alistair tells them to have fun. After Paul and John have left Alistair asks in an undertone if they have gone, and Denise repeats his 'have fun' incredulously; he apologises and says that was awkward. She sighs deeply, and when he asks if she is going over there says 'yes'; he asks if she wants him to come and says he will if she wants, but she turns down the offer. He asks whether she is going to tell Paul about them, or thinks John is going to: she has no idea.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 14th July, 2024

Lily enjoys forcing everyone's confidences, and Chelsea rashly makes a promise for someone else.

Characters: Paul, Lily, Freddie, Stella, Pip, Chelsea
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

At the mysteriously-sited Music Festival Paul greets Lily, whom he had assumed to be asleep in her tent; on the contrary, she has been having a shower which she declares to have been worth every penny. [Lilies that fester, ect. Gus.] Josh and Freddie seem not to have surfaced yet, and Paul reckons Josh is going to be insufferable when he wakes up because of the Straw Crows' Nina having invited him backstage. Lily wants to know all about how Paul is feeling about his parents [I have just realised: Lily is a psychic vampire who thrives on the unhappiness of others. Why did I not see this before? Chris] and he [like the Brave Little Soldier he is. Chris] tells her he is all right though still shocked, and trying not to dwell on it really: he doesn't want to spoil everyone's festival and be gloomy. He then renders Freddie's awakening hideous with bonhomie but does offer him coffee, while muttering to Lily that Freddie is not sounding too hot. They plan to pack up first, then head back to the stage when the car is full [and just pray nobody breaks into it and steals all their gear during the day, presumably. Chris], Lily figuring that that way they can leave as soon as the last band finishes: they all have work in the morning. Paul thinks that her having Milo Hayward to look after is exciting, Oliver having asked her to be his chaperone: maybe he'll take her for a private forage. Freddie emerges, saying the sleeping-mat he bought is totally useless because it is only a centimetre thick [a fact which was concealed from him when he bought it? Chris] and Lily sends Paul to wake Josh. This gives her the opportunity to accuse Freddie of being grouchy and refuse to accept it when he says he simply didn't sleep well. Meanwhile Paul threatens to break into Josh's tent to roust him out, does so and discovers that Josh is not there and by the look of it has not been in his tent all night.

The need for her to change the mindset of everyone at BL, not just the board, is weighing on Stella, who is preaching about it to Pip: she wants to organise training groups to make sure they all understand the four pillars of sustainability. Pip, whose mind seems to be more on food, makes suitably encouraging noises, and Chelsea arrives to take their order; Pip knows she wants shakshuka and an apple-and-raspberry smoothie, while Stella has not made up her mind. While she is deciding, Pip asks if Chelsea has asked whether Tracy wants a kitten and is told she doesn't. Stella is not enthusiastic about the kittens, and asks for an all-day breakfast and orange juice.

Lily is now laying down the law to Freddie about where they parked the car, and telling Paul that she knows he has been putting on a brave face but he doesn't have to. He tries to shut her up, but she persists: is he sure he's OK? He doesn't know what he is, and it came completely out of the blue, but seems happy enough to talk to her about his parents and blame himself for not having noticed anything. All sympathy, Lily reminds him he's had his own split to deal with, then asks what exactly Denise and John said when they told him. Apparently it was all very matter-of-fact and they told him they'd only just made the decision themselves and nothing was going to happen straight away; John barely said anything, just sat there looking like he'd turned to stone, so Mum had to do most of the talking. Lily decides that it doesn't sound as if they are separating for any specific reason; other than the fact that they don't love each other, mentions Paul, and he thought they still did. He then starts to weep, and Lily croons at him and asks if he thinks there is any chance of them working it out, which, naturally, Paul doesn't know. She suggests he might be able to persuade them to give it one more shot, and while he is contemplating that possibility pulls him into a consolatory hug. He laughs in a watery way and tells her to be careful: she almost had his eye out with her rucksack. She promises him that it's going to be fine. Freddie, who seems actually to have been doing what they set out to, shouts to them that the car is over there next to the yellow camper, and wants to know why they have stopped and what's going on: are they OK? Lily says they were just having a Moment, and Paul that real life can wait till tomorrow, to which Freddie offers a heartfelt 'don't remind me'.

Stella wants to know how many times she has to say she doesn't hate cats, agrees that Pip's photos show that the kittens are very cute, but says that at heart she is a dog person: cats don't give you love in the same way. When Pip manages just to 'mention' the fact that Rosie is besotted with kittens, Stella says that if Pip wants to adopt one she's not going to stop her, but Pip clearly wants her whole-hearted enthusiasm: she doesn't want her grumbling about it when she is at Rickyard. Stella makes it clear that it is Pip's decision; she knows how Stella feels. She then enquires whether they weren't talking about the hen-party: has Lottie found somewhere to hold it? Yes, a barn-conversion just outside Shelly Magna. Alina will love it; now Pip just has to sort out activities and food for the seven people who are coming. She doesn't have time to cook... Inspiration strikes Stella when Chelsea comes to collect their plates. Doesn't the tea-room do events catering?

Paul has bought tequila sunrises for everyone before they head for the stage, but before Freddie can start his someone barges into him grunting like a pig, and spills half of it. Lily is very indignant, but Freddie wants her just to leave it, and says it doesn't matter. He's not really into the next band and is just going to go for a wander. She is not prepared to let it go, and talks at him until he is goaded into telling her that the man she calls a 'lout' who bumped into him is mates with Jason, the one who was nicking meat, and because it was Freddie who dobbed Jason in he's been getting a bit of grief over it. The pig noises are because he squealed on Jason. Lily goes on ferreting, and gets out of him that it's not just Antonio, but a few of them; she wants to know what Vince has to say about it, but Freddie hasn't told him. Paul shouts to find out whether they are coming or not, and Freddie manages to escape Lily and go off on his own.

Chelsea is telling Pip and Stella about her chosen beauty products and is up for doing facials at the hen party, and manicures as well. She could do pedicures too. Stella is unsure that is really the kind of activity Pip is after: anyway the last thing anyone wants to see is Stella's feet. Chelsea promises her that when she has finished with them Stella won't want to hide them in a pair of wellies any more. Pip says it's Alina's hen and Pip thinks she would love it. And if the tea-room can do the food as well, that would solve Pip's problems in one fell swoop. Chelsea gropes her way forwards: like a package deal, then? Pip thinks that would be ideal: after shelling out for the barn, they haven't got a massive budget left and pleasing everyone is the priority. She asks if Fallon's around, but no, not at the moment; Chelsea is sure she'd be up for it, though, she says, recklessly committing Fallon to the project. Pip thinks an evening with the girls being fed and pampered sounds perfect: doesn't Stella agree? Stella's 'absolutely' sounds less enthusiastic, more resigned. Chelsea tells Pip to leave it with her: she'll convince Fallon.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 15th July, 2024

Neil, Susan and Tracy have the same idea, and Chelsea manages to talk Fallon round.

Characters: Neil, Susan, Fallon, Chelsea, Jazzer, Tracy
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Who is looking after Martha when is exercising Neil, who can't keep up with all the logistics; Susan says they just have to hope Alice's rehab works, don't they, with which Neil agrees wholeheartedly. As he is about to leave for work Susan asks if he is still taking Wednesday off, which he is, and she asks whether they, or at least she, might go to to Grey Gables and see Milo Haywood, since there are tickets left; she shows Neil a cookery book and speaks of 'that lovely parsnip soup', about which Neil grunts in inimitable, non-committal Neil style. She admits a ticket would be quite expensive; when she tells him how much, two hundred and forty pounds, Neil fails to warm to her enthusiastic description of what the day involves, and tells her he is sure it would be very nice but they have more important things to spend their money on: her car needs new tyres soon, for instance. He's sorry, but he needs to get back to work.

The hen night [weary hennights nine times nine? Gus]sounds a lovely idea to Fallon but she questions whether they need the hassle: she'd have to run it all past Natasha. Chelsea protests that she used to do those before, but Fallon explains that was before Bridge Farm bought the tea-room [which didn't happen on air. Chris]. Chelsea saying that she told Pip that the tea-room would do the hen party leads Fallon to say that's not Fallon's fault and Chelsea will just have to tell her that she was wrong. when Chelsea says that Pip wanted the whole thing as a package her response is that she should have spoken to Fallon first. Chelsea nagging gets her to say maybe she could cook at home, even though it's a bit of a nightmare because her kitchen is tiny, and anyway she doesn't have time. She tells Chelsea to go and clear table five; Fallon has a café to run.

Even more unintelligibly than usual, Jazzer talks to Neil about Milo Hayward as they feed some pigs; Neil says it's the price he objects to: almost five hundred pounds for him and Susan. Also, if you live in the city a day out foraging with a famous chef might seem worth it. He does feel a bit bad, mind. Jazzer doesn't see why: imagine if Neil wanted to spend five hundred pounds going on a pub-crawl with Nigella. This makes Neil laugh: he knows exactly what Susan would say. But the thing is, Susan is a big fan of this Milo Haywood. Jazzer suggests that if foraging is what Susan likes, Neil could take her for a wee wander round the woods: put on a tall chef's hat and act all knowledgable. Neil says thoughtfully that's not such a bad idea, and when Jazzer says he was yanking his chain, asserts that he is probably as much of an expert on what's edible or not as this Milo fellow. He could give him a run for his money, that's for sure.

Tracy hadn't realised that Susan had Martha, and apologises for coming round; Susan hopes a lolly may cheer the child up, and when Tracy asks what all the tears were about says it was nothing, just that Susan asked her not to leave smears on the patio window. She assures Tracy she didn't shout at the child, but Martha is acting up for everyone lately; this comes as no surprise to Tracy, since the poor little mite [OMT. Chris] must be so confused. How is she meant to understand? asks Tracy rhetorically, but Susan worries she understands more than they think. Tracy then moves on to gossip about Joy having seen Denise and her husband last week having a very intense conversation outside on the green, and Susan is greatly interested, especially when Tracy says that she asked Jazzer about it and he got really stern about it and told her it had nothing to do with her and she shouldn't be sticking her nose in other folks' business. Joy didn't mention anything to Susan this morning, so she says she'll have to ask her next time she sees her. Tracy then sees the Milo Haywood cookbook, and Susan explains Neil said his masterclass at Grey Gables was too expensive, and muses that it would have been amazing to meet him. Tracy agrees: she loves watching him on telly, and the way he magics up plates of beautiful food in just a few minutes. He's so talented, they agree. Twinkly. Charismatic. Oh well, never mind, sighs Susan: she'll just have to make do with his book.

The campaign at the tea-room continues: Chelsea has found the place the hen party is renting, and it has a huge kitchen. Fallon is busy, but spares time to look at the website, and agrees it's enormous; Chelsea's nagging is starting to persuade her, although the mention that they could both do with the extra cash offends her a little. In the end she starts to crack: all right, OK, don't go on. Plus, Chelsea adds, it's for a really good cause, because the hen, Alina, is from Ukraine and her family is still there. Fallon accuses her of trying to guilt-trip her, which Chelsea denies but then admits she maybe is a bit. Fallon wishes she could do it, but it's on the first of August, and she will be working. Chelsea is not giving up: if she got Emma to cover for her would Fallon do it then? Weakly, Fallon tells her to go on, then, and Chelsea squeals with glee.

Neil is now proving to Jazzer his expertise about edible weeds and claims that though some people can be allergic to pineappleweed, eating a little bit of the flower won't hurt Jazzer [which shows that he doesn't know much about allergic reactions. Chris]; doesn't it taste like pineapple? It's called a weed because it escaped from Kew Gardens, and spread as fast as it did because the seeds were carried in the tyres of motorcars. Neil then pounces triumphantly on another plant, soldiers' woundwort [the American name for staunchweed. Chris], otherwise known as yarrow; when Jazzer says he has never heard of it, Neil derisively says 'call yourself a countryman' and Jazzer defensively says he grew up in Springburn. Neil then offers him a lesson: if he ever hurts himself he can chew the leaves of yarrow and then stick them on the wound: it will stop the bleeding, and it's an antiseptic. Jazzer is sceptical, but Neil assures him it is nature's own medicine and has been in use for hundreds of years. It's good for eating too; the older leaves are a bit bitter but the younger ones are fine. Try a bit. Jazzer asks if there is anything Neil is not going to make him eat, and Neil responds by plucking some flibberty-gibbet [which suggests to me that Stimpson has been reading https://www.woodlandtrust.org.uk/blog/2021/07/foraging-in-july/ Chris] which he says is not bad. Jazzer remarks that Neil was right about Milo Haywood: who needs a celebrity chef when there's Neil Carter around? Neil laughs triumphantly, and Jazzer says he was only joking before, but why doesn't Neil take Susan foraging? Neil warms to the idea, and thinks he should cook her a meal as well [none of the plants mentioned so far needs to be cooked. Make her a salad, perhaps. Chris], since Susan has one of Haywood's recipe books. He asks Jazzer if he thinks that would make up for saying no to going to Grey Gables; Jazzer reckons it would more than make up for it.

Meanwhile Susan is reading the cookery book and discussing with Tracy, and bemoaning the fact that since it is July they can't make elderflower fritters. Tracy decides that if Neil won't take Susan to Milo Haywood, Susan will have to bring Milo Haywood to her. Neil comes in as they decide this, and Jazzer too; Tracy and Jazzer are surprised to see each other, and Neil explains he has been giving Jazzer a crash course in foraging. Tracy thinks it funny he should say that, because they have just been looking through Milo's cookbook and they thought instead of shelling out for Grey Gables... Neil starts to interrupt, and he and Tracy speak together, each retailing the brilliant idea of preparing a forage meal. Neil is cast down that Susan had already thought of it, because he wanted to do something special for her, but Tracy assures him that he still will be: a special dinner for all four of them. It will be a laugh. Anxiously Neil asks if that is all right with Susan, since he knows it's not quite what she had in mind; her 'no' is resigned rather than joyful, and he points out that it is similar and a hell of a lot cheaper. Pulling herself together, she manages to say 'absolutely' with enough enthusiasm for her disappointment not to be too obvious to him, adding that it's a lovely idea. She can't wait.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 16th July, 2024

There's more than one snout where it isn't wanted.

Characters: Oliver, Lily, Denise, Alistair, Paul, Freddie
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The celebrity chef Milo Haywood has arrived at Grey Gables, and Oliver enquires of Lily where he is now; in the kitchens with Ian is her reply. She further informs Oliver that his trip round the country park was fine, though she feels that part of the point of foraging is not knowing what you might find, rather than casing the joint in advance: isn't it kind of cheating to do a recce of the park? Oliver feels that he does need to know what dishes to prep for, though Lily argues that given his whole thing is meant to be about spontaneity and getting alongside nature... Oliver interrupts to tell her that's where these top chefs are so clever: you don't see all the hard work that goes on beforehand. Outargued, Lily says in a Lyndaish way that well, anyway, he's back now and is 'instructing the brigade'. Oliver thinks this excellent, and tells her the Echo and Borchester Life are both coming at ten tomorrow morning; they wanted to do separate interviews but Oliver told them they could share the half hour before the master class started. He feels it's amazing publicity to have him here, doesn't Lily think? Lily says 'hmmm' noncommittally, but when challenged says hastily that yes, it's just... She's not sure. There's just something about him; has Oliver not noticed the way he talks to people? he can be quite... snide. Oliver is startled, but Lily says even the tone of voice he uses; it's not like he is on the telly. Oliver points out that he can't be on show all the time, with which Lily agrees, adding that even if he does come across that way occasionally, Oliver doesn't think he means to. Lily unwillingly assents. He adds that their job is to put him at his ease, and what they want him to do is cook brilliant food, so they ought not to judge him on the tone of his voice. Lily reluctantly concedes this.

The labradoodle Tosca has been relieved of her grass seed and her paw is healing nicely; Sabrina has gone away happy and Denise and Alistair are pleased with that result. Paul asks if they are done and offers to put up the 'closed' sign, though Denise doesn't have to rush off straight away; Alistair has a couple of things to finish in the operating room and goes to do that, so Denise asks Paul if he is doing anything special this evening. He tells her Lily is cooking dinner and is convinced he needs looking after; what about Denise, though? Will she be all right going back to the house? She is going to have to be, because she can't stay at Dawn's any longer and unless Paul's dad decides to move out... Tentatively Paul suggests that maybe it will give his parents a chance to talk, but Denise thinks it more likely they'll just try to keep out of each other's way. Disappointed, Paul asks if she is sure the two of them can't work things out, and when she sighs tells her that it's just they they haven't really explained why they are splitting up. Slowly, as to an idiot, Denise tells him that Yes. They. Have. They told him it's just not working any more. He argues that's not a proper reason and asks if there is something she's not telling him. She seems about to tell him something but he doesn't give her the chance, telling her that he is an adult and she doesn't need to protect him; he just wants to understand why they've decided it's over now.

Oliver asks anxiously whether Jared needs to go to A&E and Lily confirms that he doesn't because the cut's not that deep, which is a relief to Oliver. Crossly, Lily says it wouldn't even have happened if Milo hadn't been picking at him; Oliver asks her what she means and she explains: making little remarks, pointing out mistakes in front of the others, and then, when he was chopping the chickweed, Milo just kept hovering over him; Jared's hands were shaking and it was like Milo wanted him to slice his fingers. Oliver is shocked by her. And then, she continues, when Jared did he just rolled his eyes and walked away. Oliver argues that Jared's very green and bound to be nervous around a chef of such stature and that is not Mr Haywood's fault. Lily accepts that it may not be, but... Oliver cuts her off: as for pointing out mistakes, that's good, because they want him to show their team how they can be better. Lily concedes that as well, but complains that he doesn't have to humiliate them. Oliver asks whether Jared is OK and can still work, and when Lily says that he is and can, asserts that you don't get to where Mr Haywood has without demanding perfection, and he is only setting the same high standards he sets himself. Freddie then comes up, since he has offered to pick Lily up; he reminds her she invited him over to dinner and she (clearly not having remembered she is cooking tonight) complains it's been such a hectic day. Oliver feels he should let them get off, since it's going to be even busier tomorrow. As soon as Oliver is out of earshot Lily starts to give Freddie grief about being bullied at work and trying to bully him into taking action. He insists quite firmly that he doesn't want to talk about it.

Denise is still claiming to Paul that she and John have just grown apart; Paul offers the solution that they should do more things together and at least give it a chance: he knows Dad would. He then argues John's corner to her: all right, he's not the most romantic person but Paul bets he'd go to the ends of the earth to make things work. Patiently Denise tells him it still wouldn't be enough. [And the silly little boy still doesn't grasp that she doesn't want to be reconciled with John. Gah. Chris.] This time she almost tells him why it's no good, but ends up saying she just doesn't have those feelings any more. He thinks she hasn't tried, but she has. He has no idea! It's not like she meant this to happen. She says she can't spend the rest of her life being unhappy, and Paul ends up comforting her as she sobs. Whatever happens, he tells her, they will always be his parents and he is there for both of them. Alistair comes back in and is taken aback by the scene which greets him; Denise tells Paul to go to the dinner being cooked for him, and when he protests he does want to leave her in this state, Alistair steps forward and says he is there and he is not leaving her on her own. Denise backs this up: Alistair will look after her. Reluctantly he leaves, telling Alistair to take good care of her. When he is gone, Denise tells Alistair that she tried to tell him about them but couldn't; what is he going to think of her? What is Cara going to think? Alistair wonders what she was saying to him, and she mourns that the longer she keeps the whole truth from them... She should go. She still has John to face. Alistair asks her not to rush off: they've barely had a moment together all day. She wishes she didn't have to go at all.

Paul of course is seeking advice from Lily, who thinks it sounds as if his mother was pretty adamant; he feels that when you know a relationship's over, you just know. She gives him plenty of sympathy, and he changes the subject to the chilli that is cooking. Freddie comes in and they start to discuss Josh's infatuation with Nina. Lily declines to put much more chilli powder into the food, as suggested by Paul, and is then teased about being a wonder-chef because of association with Mile Haywood. She says she seems to be the only one who thinks he's a jerk who just likes intimidating people; he knows they're in awe of him , and the worst part is, people enable it. Take a look at his socials: he obviously has a publicist, someone paid to make him look good. The whole thing is a total scam. As Paul is talking about his own socials Freddie, who has been looking for his phone, discovers a pig's snout in his pocket. Paul and Lily are both disgusted, and he explains the obvious: he didn't put it there so it must have been someone else.

Denise finds it odd she feels more guilty about Paul and Cara than she does about John. Alistair doesn't see that as odd: they are her children. She just wishes that this thing between her and Alistair didn't have to hurt them. Alistair suggests they might not take it as badly as she thinks, but she seems certain, so he agrees that perhaps she should wait. He knows she thinks that keeping it from them will only make things worse, but they already have a lot to come to terms with. He remembers when he and Shula separated and that Daniel still struggled even though he was grown up. He wonders if she thinks John will tell them, but she says he is pretty adamant it ought to be her, and he's right, it should be. She just can't help feeling ashamed. Alistair finds this surprising, and tells her this is about them being honest about how they feel. She's taken the first step, and they don't have to lie to John any more. If she wants him there when she tells Paul and Cara, well, they need to see this isn't something tawdry and that they're serious about each other and it's not just a workplace fling. She affirms that of course it isn't, and says she loves him; he replies that he loves her too, and they have to tell them soon.

Lily and Paul are both determined that Freddie has to tell Vince, but he is uncertain: tell him what? He doesn't know who put it in his pocket. As he and Lily argue, Paul asks him please just to do something with the snout. He puts it in the bin, and says whoever did it probably just thought it was a bit of a laugh. The other two remain indignant on his behalf, and Lily demands that he has to promise to tell Vince, which he reluctantly does; she says that no-one should have to put up with being bullied, and she is sure Vince will put a stop to it.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 17th July, 2024

Susan and Tracy have a triumph; Freddie is left disappointed.

Characters: Neil, Tracy, Susan, Freddie, Vince, Oliver
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

In the course of competitive foraging by Neil, Tracy and Susan for the evening meal they plan to cook, Neil has brought (and explains in detail how to identify) chanterelle mushrooms from Leaders Wood, also some wild strawberries, the latter of which Susan is positively enthusiastic about; however, when Tracy describes him as Susan's very own Milo Haywood, the best Susan can muster in his praise is that he'll have to do, anyway. Neil percipiently notes that she'd still rather be spending the day with the real thing. Jazzer complains bitterly about the nettles he has injudiciously failed to grasp, and without rubber gloves on; Neil has not foraged any dock leaves. Since they still need some chickweed and meadowsweet, Susan volunteers herself and Tracy to go and find those, in spite of Neil clearly doubting that they can reliably identify either common plant [and presumably not thinking that they have phones to refer to if they are in doubt. Chris] and not mix them up with dropwort in one case and speedwell in the other; she patiently tells him that she thinks they'll manage, but that they will take Milo's cookbook with them, since it has a guide in the back. She suggests that while they are gone he and Jazzer could blanche the nettles ready for the pesto.

At the abattoir Freddie is discovered by Vince mending Antonio's tagging gun, and Vince doesn't think much of this. He is short with Freddie, instructing him to go and tell Antonio to mend his own equipment; when Freddie tries to tell him about the problems he is already having, Vince isn't listening, but agrees that Freddie can come and see him later after the carcases are properly tagged and processed.

As they look for plants Susan and Tracy are talking about aging and how old their children make them feel, and discuss administering an eighteenth birthday party for Brad without anaesthetic (because he has said he absolutely doesn't want a party for his birthday) and a big surprise one for Emma's fortieth, since she doesn't want one either. Susan triumphantly spots some meadowsweet, though Tracy worries in case it is 'that other plant Neil mentioned' and insists on checking in the book. Susan says she only brought it to appease Neil, but adds coyly that if they just happen to run into Milo Haywood... Tracy asks whether she thinks they will, and Susan thinks there's a chance because according to Adam, it's the country park where he has been foraging. As Tracy is reaching for the plants, Oliver asks if everything is all right and what they are up to.

When Freddie does go to Vince's office it's clear that it is not a good time, because Vince is waiting to be let into a video conference and is not happy about being kept waiting, but Freddie plunges into his account of his problems anyway. Vince has little sympathy, and when Freddie has told him about 'some of the lads' giving him a hard time over what happened with Jason, but the refusal to hear him, deliberately knocking into him, and pig noises don't seem to interest him; his first reaction is to the theft of the pig's snout (which would have made a perfectly good dog-chew) in order to put it in Freddie's pocket. Freddie says that it being stealing is not really his point, but Vince is distracted by finally being let into the meeting and merely tells him he has to show the lads on the floor who is boss.

Oliver informs Susan and Tracy that strictly speaking, they should always ask the landowner's permission before taking wild plants [which is interesting, because Arkwright County Park is part of the Arkwright estate – the clue is in the name and nothing to do with Grey Gables' owners or Oliver. Chris] and puts the wind up them properly; they are grovellingly apologetic and beg his to permission to take a few weeds to have for tea, quite as if he owned the country park, until he laughs and tells them it is absolutely fine, and they realise he was pulling their legs. He says it was a shame they weren't around a few minutes ago, because Milo Haywood was foraging there. [I just hope that he had the landowner's permission. Chris.] Susan and Tracy are very disappointed that they missed him, and ask Oliver what he is like; Oliver gives him a glowing chit. Tracy is glad that the rumours on line that he is actually not very nice aren't true, and Oliver admits he's a hard task-master, but says that's what you need in a top kitchen, isn't it. Several members of the Grey Gables staff have let Oliver know that when they get his approval, it means everything to them. And when he's out from behind the pass he couldn't be more charming, enthuses Oliver. He is looking forward to tonight's meal: he's never seen a menu quite like it. Susan wistfully wishes they could have afforded it, but guesses they'll just have to make do with the recipes from his book. Tracy sighs and agrees. Oliver suggests that since they are clearly genuine fans, and since they've been inspired to have their own foraged dinner, why don't they come up to the hotel? He's sure Mr Haywood would be only to delighted to meet them; he'll introduce them.

Back at the house, Neil is still being a countryman herbalist for Jazzer's benefit [infodumps abounding; see internet for any herbal tips that you want. Chris] and causing considerable boredom and irritation; Jazzer addresses him as Brother Cadfael and makes it clear he is getting hungry. He wonders where Susan and Tracy can have got to. Neil says they have prepped everything they can, and all they can do is wait. After an exasperate sigh, Jazzer asks how Chris is doing, and Neil tells him, OK, he thinks, doing his best to juggle work and taking care of Martha, who is a lot more unsettled than the last time Alice was in Rehab [which was in July to September 2021; Martha was born in March 2021 and less than a year old at that time, whereas she is now more than three. Hard to have a strop effectively in the cradle even if she'd known what was going on. Chris]. Susan and Tracy return, with vegetable offerings but far more interested in crowing about having met Milo Haywood and had the book signed by him. Their husbands seem a little underwhelmed by their adulation of the celebrity, but Neil consoles himself that he doesn't have to feel quite so bad now about not having paid for the masterclass.

Vince is belittling Freddie's experience with the pig's snout, and generally showing no interest in tackling workplace bullying [after all, it is not November so the Awareness Week is not going on at present. Chris]. He effectively tells Freddie that he is not there to make friends and all this ingratiating himself with the staff (which Freddie denies, saying he just thinks people work better when they feel they're valued) is all very nice right up until tough decisions have to be made. It's not about being liked, it's about earning their respect. Does Freddie honestly think he will get that if Vince comes down hard on them? It will just be another thing they hold against him, and in any case they've already got the acceptable behaviour talk from HR and there are signs in the staff room. The only thing that really works is standing up to it, and in any case Vince would hardly call it bullying: they are just trying to wind Freddie up. Freddie must have had to deal with lads a lot rougher than [ex-con as Vince knows. Chris] Antonio and Curtiss when he was inside. When Freddie admits this, Vince says 'exactly' and instructs him that when one of them tells him to fix their tagging gun or whatever it is, tell them to do themselves. They just want to see he's got a bit of backbone. All right? he demands threateningly, and when Freddie reluctantly says 'yes' calls him a good lad and tells him he doesn't need Vince to handle it: he can do it on his own.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 18th July, 2024

Ruth puts her foot in it, Pip is demanding, and Natasha is stealing ideas again;

or

Why has no-one strangled Natasha, or Ruth, or Chelsea, or Pip?

Characters: Fallon, Chelsea, Natasha, Stella, Pip, Ruth
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

As Fallon is about to go and discuss the arrangements for the hen night with Pip, Natasha turns up requiring her presence in the tea-room. Fallon immediately says she isn't going anywhere, and Natasha tells them the installer can fit the new extractor fan on Thursday the first of August, which since that's the day of the hen party will clearly be a bit awkward. Fallon explains she has something she has to do that day and Emma is covering for her, though on the rota it says it's her. Natasha demands to know what the something is that has come along to prevent her from working at the tea room that day; quick-thinking Chelsea says it's a private thing, and Natasha accepts that it must be important, asks her to update the rota and leaves saying she hopes whatever it is goes well.

The more Stella hears about the hen do the more she is dreading it, but she is the odd one out: Ruth thinks it sounds fun and Pip defensively remarks they could have come up with a lot worse. Stella wants the films to be decent romcoms, but that is vetoed at once by Pip on the grounds that it is a hen party and only the schmaltziest, cheesiest films are allowed. Ruth giggles that she's sure they'll have fun, and it's great they've got Fallon doing the catering. Pip has to go and meet Fallon at Rickyard, while Ruth walks the cows back. They are all but one in calf, according to the scans Alistair has just done. He didn't need to do the two Herefords because David is taking them to the abattoir later, which Pip hadn't known because there was a mix-up with dates and they were going to go next week; Freddie has managed to squeeze them in anyway, so it's quite useful having him working there. Ruth thinks he has found his feet, and he is always hard at it. Stella politely declines to go with Pip to discuss the hen party, saying she might just hang on there with Ruth. Pip takes this as evidence she really doesn't want anything to do with the party; Ruth chortles, Stella explains she and Ruth haven't had a decent chat in a while. Ruth asks Pip if there is anything she needs from the Bridge Farm shop, since she is popping over there in a bit, but there isn't. Pip goes to her appointment, and Ruth and Stella speak about the harvest, how the crops are looking, the wheat yield being down as much as thirty percent, and climate change. Ruth is glad Brookfield got out of arable. After a lot of climate and economic data and doomsaying from Stella, Ruth comforts her with the notion that once she is on the combine things won't look so gloomy.

The ideas Fallon has for the hen party fill Pip with enthusiasm. She suggests giving a cake decorating tutorial as well as just providing various food. Pip feels that this all sounds great, even amazing, and is happy to give Fallon a down payment for the ingredients. Stella lets herself in and as Fallon tries to get away, Pip fills Stella in on the new ideas. Since these include more risqué decorations on the cakes than mere flowers, her reaction is 'oh, no', with Pip immediately telling her it's just a bit of fun. Furthermore, Fallon told her mum about the kittens and Jolene is taking one in spite of Kenton's dislike for Hilda. [Why has Kenton ever even met Hilda? Chris.] Pip thought that was really good of him, putting his own prejudices aside, and when Stella objects to the pointed nature of this comment says that means only the runt's left; Stella (not for the first time) says she is not stopping Pip from adopting a kitten. This is not good enough for Pip: Stella is not exactly keen, is she? Fallon, is that the face of someone who'd be happy to share her partner with a cat? Fallon sensibly opts to stay out of it, and Stella mentions emotional blackmail and wishes she had not come over.

It is Seren and Nova's second birthday on Sunday and Natasha tells Ruth they are already terrible; Natasha has a sore throat from saying 'no' and 'stop'. Ruth has just popped in for some potatoes, and Tom lifted a lot of new ones this morning. Natasha suggests gooseberries as well: their first crop from the edible forest garden. They chat of Susan and Tracy's triumph about Milo Haywood: Susan has been showing Natasha the photo with him. Apparently he is very tall and Susan barely came up to his armpit. Ruth knows the name but wouldn't recognise him; maybe if she enjoyed cooking more she might, but she certainly doesn't need to watch somebody else doing it. Natasha would love him to visit Bridge Farm, and Susan tried to persuade him: you can't buy that sort of publicity. Not without very deep pockets, Ruth jokes; talking about business, she continues, Pip is delighted they've taken on the catering for the hen party at such short notice. Natasha asks what hen party, and when Ruth tells her it's the one Pip's helping arrange says rather forbiddingly that the tea room isn't doing that but asks when it is happening. Ruth, never one to refrain from making bad worse, displays her knowledge by giving the date, a fortnight today, then apologises for having got the wrong end of the stick.

Re-running the earlier scene, Pip is thanking Fallon so, so much, and tells her she can watch the film with them; Fallon laughingly advises her to pick anything with Matthew McConaughey on the poster. Stella informs them that she will be hiding in the garden; Pip rather bitterly tells Fallon to ignore her because she is allergic to anything romantic, and then that she will ping her the down payment now. Fallon finally goes, and Stella says she should leave too; Pip asks if she wants to stay to lunch, but she has to get out onto the estate and check the moisture of the barley. Pip requires her to hold on and be told that if she really doesn't want to come to the hen party Pip would miss her, obviously, but she's not making her. Stella is of course coming: she wasn't being serious. Wasn't she, Pip asks doubtfully: it kind of feels like she's making a point. Stella is baffled as to what point, and reminds Pip she is just not into nail varnish and cup-cakes. Pip asks what she would have, then, if it was her hen party, and Stella doesn't know, because she has never really thought about it: she tries not to think about getting married. She doesn't see why it's necessary: it's just a piece of paper. Pip reverts in a wheedling voice to the question of poor little kittens in need of a home. [She has lived on a farm since 1993, during which time there will have been at least six litters of kittens born each year at Brookfield. Why is she suddenly so fussed about these ones, which are not even hers in the first place but are at Grange Farm? Chris.] Stella sighs, and Pip attacks: it's not as big a commitment as getting married! Fine, fine, says Stella in exasperation: if Pip really wants a furry friend when she spends most of her time out on the farm anyway... That is not good enough for Pip: Stella has to mean it. Really, all joking aside, she doesn't want to put Stella off coming over there. Stella points out she would really have to be allergic, and she's not. We can adopt the kitten, OK?

Joyful Chelsea snorting and squeaking about the hen party with Fallon and discussing the order of play, cakes before nails, and how great it is going to be, is interrupted by the entrance of Natasha, who has something she needs to talk to Fallon about. When Chelsea tries to get away, Natasha tells her it involves her too. This thing they are doing in a fortnight, says Natasha, it's a hen party, isn't it – not exactly what she was imagining when Fallon told her it was private. Bravely, Chelsea takes responsibility: it was her that said it was private, but Fallon asserts that it's not Chelsea's fault, and Fallon ought to have been more honest, with which Natasha sternly agrees. When Fallon says by way of explanation that she didn't want Natasha to think they were moonlighting, Natasha is clear about it: Fallon booked a day off when she's supposed to be working, so she is moonlighting. Natasha then allows it to seem as if she is about to sack Fallon and Chelsea, saying that she's had a long think, and if this is the sort of thing Fallon enjoys doing she wouldn't want her to think she is wasting her talents here. Fallon protests that it is just a one off, and Natasha muses that they are very well placed to cater for hen nights, though they have never really pitched for that sort of thing, and she hears Fallon has Chelsea on board doing nails and things; she thinks it's a fantastic idea. And not just for hen parties; we (she says, clearly having decided to take over the whole scheme) could do birthdays and baby showers, or just friends going away for a weekend. Fallon ruefully mutters that she supposes, and Natasha rubs things home: she won't lie, it did make her quite sad that Fallon couldn't be honest, but then she thought, why let hurt feelings get in the way of a brilliant business idea? Fallon mumbles 'yeah' and Natasha bulldozes on: she'd help with things like budgets and marketing, and obviously Fallon would be able to use the kitchen at the tea room – Chelsea pipes up that was one of the things Fallon was worrying about, and Fallon has to agree that yes, it was – and obviously they'd be paid; it probably wouldn't be as much as they'd make by doing events themselves, but with the tea room behind them, Natasha thinks they'd be able to ramp things up so much faster. Certainly more than Fallon could by doing it on the side. 'So, what d'you think?' she asks brightly. Fallon is still trying to think what to reply when Chelsea chimes in that it is so not what she thought Natasha was going to say and she thinks it's a great idea, doesn't Fallon reckon? Flatly, Fallon agrees it's great.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 19th July, 2024

Natasha is plucking hens, while Lily won't stop picking.

Characters: Lily, Freddie, Lottie, Pip, Natasha, Vince
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Determined not to allow Freddie peace at home about what is happening to him at work, Lily waylays him as he is about to go into Lower Loxley Hall; he has not been replying to her messages and she wants to know whether he has done as she instructed him and spoken to Vince. He tells her he has, then mentions having seen the article about Milo Haywood's visit to Grey Gables, and is happy enough to talk about that; Lily is not to be deflected and demands to be told what Vince said. Freddie tells her he said what Freddie thought he would say, that there was nothing he could do and to show some backbone. Lily refuses to let him go in to change; she is annoyed that Vince did not fall in with what she felt he should do, and with Freddie as the messenger bringing this unpalatable news. Freddie in turn is fed up with her: he has told her it is his problem, and he needs to sort it out himself

At Rickyard, Lottie is doing a Tarot reading for Pip, or perhaps for herself or for the bride to be or anyone else in the whole world; this is unclear, as is her interpretation and everything about it. She looks up the Queen of Wands in the book she is using as a crib, and Pip bursts out laughing at her: if she plans to do readings for the hens she needs to up her game. Pip, ever ready to go along with folly, suggests first that the card is her, then that it is Stella, then the fact that the cat at the Queen's feet, like the kitten being adopted from Grange Farm, is black: could it still be Stella, if she wasn't keen on the cat? in any case, isn't Lottie meant to be doing the reading for her? [Ah, now we know. Chris.] Lottie protests that it is only a bit of fun, and she is just worried they won't have enough things to do; Pip lists what they do have, including a video Alina's mum sent over. Lottie can't help feeling there is something missing, the last little thing that's going to make it proper special. Pip is unsure what she means, and they have barely any money left anyway; they only have any because Fallon and Chelsea have been so brilliant about it. Tarot it is then, Lottie affirms; and says the Queen of Wands is also adept at juggling many balls at once but where finances are concerned she can get carried away. Just then a knock on the door heralds the arrival of Natasha [who has come there to spend for them the money they don't have. Chris].

Freddie doesn't get why Lily is so obsessed when it's not happening to her, and she tells him to forgive her for caring: she only wants to get to the bottom of what exactly Vince said to him. [She is clearly going to nag until she does, too. Chris.] In a lowered voice, Freddie tells her; she is greatly indignant and talks Vince's about legal obligations, since she has looked up the law around bullying. Freddie sighs resignedly and tries to argue with her, asking if she wants him to take Vince to court when, were it not for Vince, he wouldn't even have a job. Lily can't believe that he is grateful; he tells her that she is all right, being at uni and going to get a degree, while what has he got? A criminal record. Lily snidely points out that he has Lower Loxley Hall, which is more than she has, and he remarks that nobody thinks he can run it, so he hasn't. And could they please stop talking about this now? She is determined to go on cross-questioning him about whether anything else has happened, and he is equally determined to keep his own counsel and tells her he is ignoring it. She is not prepared to do the same: she's had to bite her tongue all week. He replies with some heat that she is not listening to him, and that she is to stop ignoring what he's saying to her and back off. He doesn't need her help and he can fight his own battles, thank you. This announcement is greeted by Vince, who has come in during the arguement, with the words 'what battles would those be?'; the two Pargetters glumly deny that they are arguing. He makes urbane small-talk about dinner, and offers them a glass of each from the bottle he has opened

Natasha lyingly states that the tea room used to cater outside events [Fallon used to; Tom and Natasha never have. Chris] and Fallon knew they had stopped but didn't know they had started again. She then proceeds to reassure them that Fallon will still be doing the hen party, and say that with Natasha to support her they can offer the party much more. Pip is suspicious, so Natasha starts to list possibilities, which include personalised robes at twenty pounds each; Lottie is enthusiastic, as she is when Natasha speaks of decorations (with Pip saying 'hang on' and being over-ruled): since the bride is Ukrainian, how about a sunflower theme, which is the symbol of Ukraine and also of love and fidelity. Lottie says that's amazing because when she arrived she was doing a tarot reading and the Queen of Wands is holding a sunflower. Doesn't Natasha think that's mad? [Yes, and so do all the listeners. Chris.] They were wondering who she represented and here Natasha is [the Queen of Wands also signifies the love of money, and hope for success in business. So it must indeed be Natasha's card. Chris]. Pip objects, asking if they have any idea how much it would cost to fill the house with sunflowers [at over £1 per stem wholesale. Chris], but Natasha at once says she is sure they could work something out and Lottie is all in favour of the idea: if the cards say that's what they should do, she thinks this was meant to be.

Vince is talking about the meal prepared by Milo Haywood which he and Elizabeth went to last night; it is heavy weather because Freddie and Lily are notably silent. They answer direct questions but only with short sentences until Lily decides to be rude about Milo Haywood: there are a lot of things about him that aren't what they seem. At Vince's invitation she expands on this bald statement: she thinks the man's a bully. Vince tells her she can't just leave it there, and although Freddie, seeing where she is going with this, asks her not to, she speaks of the way he treats people, with examples such as his throwing a plate of food prepared by the sous chef Angelica into the bin Vince's response is that there must have been something wrong with it. Or, counters Lily, he just did it to put her in her place, knock her down a peg or two. Vince mentions the old adage about getting out of the kitchen if you can't stand the heat; Lily wants to know, why be like that? Bullying's bad enough anywhere, but when it's the person at the top setting an example, and not just in a kitchen. Freddie intervenes suggesting that they not have a big debate, but Vince (who is no more stupid that Freddie, and must also be perfectly well aware what she is on about) says that she has a point. In fact it reminds him of his first job in a slaughterhouse; they had a pleasant manager whom none of them respected because he was nice to them, and they didn't listen to him, so they ignored him when he reminded them about wearing arm guards and Vince's mate Kenny slipped while preparing a carcase and his knife went straight through his arm. Lily [reasonably enough, since this is nothing whatever to do with what she had been saying. Chris] asks what his point is, and he tells her his point is that if the manager had cuffed them round the head a few times Kenny might have worn his arm guard and he'd still have been able to work. Scornfully, Lily asks if that's how he runs things now, is it? Vince says with amusement that he doesn't go round cuffing people round the head, if that's what she means, Lily asks him why not, and Freddie tries again to get her to shut up; she innocently rejoins that she is only asking a question: if that's what works... Vince then offers his non sequitur: if he's the head chef he needs his sous chefs to make sure the commis chefs toe the line because if they don't and they start taking the mick, what he does won't matter and the whole system will fall apart. Lily rudely describes this as 'such rubbish' and when Vince asks if it is replies that it's what someone who's never been bullied would say. Vince asks if she thinks he's never been bullied and when she says she doesn't know, tells her that of course he has; when she asks what happened he replies that he grew a thick skin. and if she'd been around as many blocks as he has she'd know that's a good thing. He then goes to see how Elizabeth is getting on with dinner, and when he is gone Freddie asks Lily for pity's sake just to give it a rest. Lily says 'sorry' meaning not-sorry; Vince needs to understand things aren't like that any more, and Freddie, desperately, tells her she is not helping: how many times does he have to tell her she's not going to change Vince's mind? Just leave it, please, he says with strong emphasis. She concedes, reluctantly, then says she could do with another drink, and takes Freddie's glass to go and fetch one. Freddie sighs.

When Lily gets to the wine, which is in the kitchen with Vince, Elizabeth has gone out to raid the herb-garden for oregano and Lily is free to go on trying to browbeat Vince into agreement with her that things having been acceptable back in the day doesn't mean they are acceptable now; he sighs and says that he thinks they should leave this discussion alone, but she argues that it's not just a discussion, is it: Freddie is being bullied and Vince is doing nothing about it. Aas he is about to try to get her to listen to him she asks if that is the thanks Freddie gets, and when he wonders what for she comes back with 'for stopping people from stealing from him'. Vince tells it to her straight: he and Freddie talked it over and agreed Vince should stay out of it. Maybe he did, Lily suggests; Freddie is having a really terrible time and Vince should be putting a stop to this. Vince wonders whether she honestly thinks Freddie needs her to defend him: he's been in tougher places than an abattoir. She concedes that he has, and Vince carries on before she can muster further argument: Freddie can stand up for himself. That's what he thinks, is it, Lily asks: he thinks he can just wash his hands of it? No, Vince says, but much as he might like it to be, the world is not always as nice a place as some youngsters might like to think it should be. He suggests they agree to disagree, and Lily plays her winning card: is he aware that as an employer he is just as responsible for any harassment received as the person doing the harassing? It's called Vy-carious liability. When Vince fails to recognise the word [or perhaps the pronunciation. Chris] she tells him that means it doesn't matter whether they agree or not: according to the law he is just as bad as the bullies. So is he going to do something to help Freddie, or not?

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

the Queen of Wands also signifies the love of money, and hope for success in business. So it must indeed be Natasha's card.

Sunday 21st July, 2024

Elizabeth never changes; neither does Tom.

Characters: Elizabeth, Vince, Tom, Fallon, Pip, Pat
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Mel Ward
Editor: Jeremy Howe

On finding Vince out in the garden when she wants to tell him she is making lunch, Elizabeth at once reads what is on his laptop before he can close it. He offers to get the lunch in her stead, and as he goes off to do that she asks him if he has seen Freddie; it's obvious to her that he and Lily had some sort of falling-out on Friday. Vince suggests that if they have, it's not up to her to sort it out, but she is sure one of them would normally tell her what's going on and she just hopes it's nothing serious. Vince thinks she shouldn't get stressed about it, since they are grown adults, and she admits the force of this. She tells him the potatoes are in the fridge and he will find some vinegar-ette [sic. Chris] there too.

It being World Ice Cream Day, Natasha has caused the tea room to have a sales push; eleven of the special Bridge Farm Sundaes have sold so far, with the vanilla and fudge tower being the most popular, Fallon tells Tom, though it's a nightmare to keep it standing up. As he is telling her what a genius Natasha is, always coming up with brilliant sales ideas, Pip comes over to ask if she can order dessert: a vanilla and fudge tower for Ruth and Rosie to share. Tom remarks to Pip that he saw the combine out at Home Farm earlier, and assumes Stella has decided to go for it; yes, the weather is too good to ignore, especially as it's not going to last. Fallon asks Pip for eight ninety-five, and Tom greasily suggests that he's sure they could do sundaes for the hen party she is organising; just ask Natasha, he can't tell her how much time and effort his wife is putting into it. Pip rather ruefully says they got the new quote yesterday with so many extras: room decoration and scrap-books to leave messages in.... Tom chuckles appreciatively: she just wants to make it perfect for them, and so does Fallon of course, and Chelsea. Fallon weakly murmurs 'absolutely'. When he says they'll make sure it's a hen party Pip will never forget, there is a slightly awkward silence before Pip says she had better get back to Mum and Rosie.

When Vince offers white wine, Elizabeth asks for a small one, because she has to get back to work after lunch. As they start on the salad she asks how come he was reading up on his bullying and harassment policy: has somebody made a complaint? Vince says that he can't really talk about it and she laughingly replies that she's not asking him to name names; what's happened? Vince tells her it's nothing, just a bit of horseplay, and she tells him that if someone says they are being bullied or harassed he can't just dismiss it; he denies dismissing it but says he thinks if you make too big a deal out of something it becomes worse than it really is. Going by their official policy there will have to be a full-blown investigation with the parties concerned being kept apart and put on separate shifts – ridiculous! Elizabeth mocks that anyone would think he'd never read his own policy before; he reminds her they've had conversations before about how everyone's getting too soft, and, when she's not sure she's ever said that, further reminds her that when they've talked about mental illness she has said it makes her angry when some people confuse having a genuine condition [like Elizabeth, obviously. Chris] with just having a bad day [everyone else, clearly. Chris]. Elizabeth agrees that yes, that does annoy her and she thinks it's really unhelpful. When she was ill, she knew she was getting better when she had a bad day and that's all it was. She became resilient so that things didn't send her spiralling. Resilient was the word Vince was looking for. He doesn't think it helps anyone expecting the world to always be a nice place. Elizabeth guesses that he thinks the person making the complaint is making a mountain out of a molehill, but no, they're not: Vince is pretty sure they don't want to go through all this rigmarole either. Elizabeth asks why he's doing it then, and he replies heavily that as an employer he is legally responsible for anyone getting hassled. She informs him that doesn't mean he has to start going through the whole process of investigations, especially if he's right and they'd rather deal with it informally. Interested, he asks how she would handle it then.

Tom and Pat try, and fail, to catch Hilda, who has ticks which need to be removed. Tom has had a video call with Roy, who seems well and happy and is trying without too much success to learn Bulgarian; Tom has heard it is one of the hardest languages to learn, or so Roy claims. Roy wants Tom and Natasha to take the twins out for a visit, which Pat endorses on the grounds that air travel will be much easier now they are no longer babies. [Pat is supposed to have had children. Chris.] The girls' age having come up, Tom mentions the weather is due to be fine tomorrow so he thought they could have their birthday party in the Bridge Farm garden again; he and Natasha will set it all up, perhaps with a paddling pool. When Pat suggests she can easily put out a few tables and chairs he tells her not to be silly: she will be busy with the food, and she suddenly has to go after Hilda again, leaving him wondering whether there is a problem with the garden, and shouting the question after her.

An ice-cream sundae disaster (presumably keeping it from collapsing proved too difficult after all) is a total embarrassment for Fallon, who keeps saying sorry to Pip about it. Pip says Rosie still enjoyed it, then asks if Fallon has a minute: it's about this quote Natasha sent for Alina's hen party. Fallon asks if she is happy with it, since it's a lot different from the one Fallon gave her. That is apparently 'kind of' the problem. It is partly their fault because Lottie got 'kind of' carried away and they just haven't got the budget: they're going to have to trim things back. She asks if that would be OK. She and Fallon sympathise with each other about it being hard to say no to Natasha, and Pip asks if Fallon thinks she would be able to talk to her. Fallon agrees to try to do her best to rein Natasha in.

Pat shows Tom why she didn't want him going in the garden: a secret birthday present for Seren and Nova just behind the greenhouse. It is an organic veg patch for them, complete with miniature bench and polytunnel and wheelbarrow, a group effort from all the family except Tom and Natasha. [Tony has been making another scale model! Chris.] Tom is speechless for a bit, and Pat explains that the love of the soil is very important to her and Tony, and the girls inheriting it seems to matter a lot; they can plant miniature veg. [They are going to be two years old. Chris.] They family has also got them boiler suits with their names on the backs and the Bridge Farm logo on the front, but those are already wrapped. Tom thanks her: the girls will absolutely love it, and Natasha will too. Pat makes him promise not to tell her, so that at least someone gets a surprise; he won't breathe a word, her secret's safe with him.

After suggesting that Vince could have a quiet word with the bully, which Vince points out would just make the one being bullied feel more likely to be picked on more, Elizabeth's thought is that the two parties should sit down together and talk it out, which is often the quickest and easiest way to clear the air. [Vince seems to be aware, as Elizabeth seems not to be, that this would be a sure way to enhance Freddie's reputation as a clype and make him more of a target but more subtly targetted. Chris.] She finally asks how bad the alleged bullying is, since Vince said it was just horseplay, and Vince feels obliged to stick to that assessment; she decides that her suggestion might be best, if everyone agrees, and it might be that the person doing it doesn't even realise the effect that they are having. A sit-down chat would allow them to hear how they are making the other person feel. [And confirm it as a resounding success for them. Chris.] Vince asks if that would be enough, a chat? Yes Vince, confirms Elizabeth smugly, a little chat. It's what she sometimes does with her volunteers, and she bets they are harder to deal with than Vince's employees. The most important thing, she pontificates easily, is his complainant feeling their allegations are being taken seriously. Does Vince think it would be acceptable to them? Vince would say so; he thanks Elizabeth, saying that he thinks that might just do the trick.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 22nd July, 2024

Emma and Ed are doing well, but Paul is a little upset.

Characters: Ed, George, Emma, Denise, Paul, Alistair
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Mel Ward
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Various rotting and repulsive items have been collected by Ed to use in a fly-trap, for the benefit of his sheep, and whilst he and George are constructing the trap he asks if George fancies going to the Moreton show: he reckons 'our Boris' is good enough for a rosette and a couple of the ewes too. George doesn't know where Moreton-in-Marsh is and Ed explains it is down in the Cotswolds [26 miles away or so. Chris] and the last big show of the year. Ed extols its merits; George shows precious little enthusiasm, then when Ed calls him on it, he apologises and says it is ages away. Ed responds that it's at the beginning of September and entires have to be in by the end of July, and, once George has shown a modicum of grudging interest, decides they should go. Emma comes over after finishing work not-complaining that she kept having to cover for Fallon doing things about the hen party, rushing off to talk to Natasha: she claims to be really glad Fallon gets to do outside events again. After all, the Ambridge Tea Service was how they began. Ed answers his phone while Emma speaks of George's new video of the kittens; they have really grown, even the runt. George admits to having worried when Pip said she wanted to adopt him for Rosie, in case he didn't make it. Emma asks him to hold on a moment, and Ed tells the person on the phone to give them some time to get their kit together and they'll be there as soon as they can. He then explains it was Stella: there is a tree down across the lane at Oak Bank blocking the combine, and they need to get the barley in tonight before the weather turns. Come on, let's go!

Denise is exclaiming in horror over Paul's account of Freddie finding a pig's snout in his pocket when he was over at theirs to dinner, and is indignant when she hears Lily reckons Vince has been totally useless about it. She thinks Lily was right to remind him of his legal obligations about something she reckons appalling and Paul describes as nasty. Denise then says she is going to check on Muffin and see how she's recovering from her op, but before she does Paul wants to ask her to go clubbing with him on Friday night to cheer her up. She thanks him, but says she is not in the right head space; her not wanting to do it means nothing to Paul, who appeals to alistair to back him up and tell Denise she should come out with him on Friday. Denise tells Paul to leave it, and he protests about her not wanting to spend a night on the tiles with her son even when she ignores him and goes to check on Muffin. Alistair gently suggests she might not be ready for that yet and Paul grumpily agrees they can stay in. He just wants her to talk to him: he tells Alistair they've had precisely one proper conversation about her ending her marriage to Dad. It's like it's not just their relationship that's gone sour, it's her and Paul's too and he's starting to think maybe they're not as close as he thought. Alistair is sure Paul knows that's not true, but Paul wants to know why she won't talk to him, in that case, when he tells her everything that is going on with him. Alistair explains that is is difficult being a parent, and there are some things you don't want to share; he remembers what it was like with his son Daniel when his and Shula's divorce was so painful and Alistair couldn't tell him everything he felt, not about his own mum: it wouldn't have been fair. Paul says 'I guess' reluctantly, and Alistair says it can be easier to tell these things to comeone else. 'Like you?' asks Paul, surprising Alistair. he goes on to say he knows Alistair and Denise aren't just work colleagues but really good friends – don't worry, he's not asking Alistair to tell him what she's said, it's just good to know she's talking to someone. He thanks Alistair: he's glad she has him to lean on; and thanks for listening to him, too.

Ed is chainsawing the tree to get it out of the way while Emma and George drag branches when Brian comes to find out how long it will be; he and Stella are dong their best to turn the traffic round; Emma goes to ask him to get a tractor ready, which will speed things up.

At the surgery Denise tells Alistair the blood work's back for the Frobishers' dog and they are back to normal; he'll ring them in the morning. She starts to go out again and he calls her back to have, yet again, the conversation about telling Paul; this time she warns him Paul is just out there in reception, then says she's sorry about Friday but she thinks she will have to say yes to Paul so can Alistair cancel the hotel room? He doesn't try to argue, just says he can, but tells her it is not about that, and then tells her Paul is worried she is not being completely open with him. Alistair tried to explain that's not true [oh, come off it! She is not being completely open with Paul and Alistair knows it. Chris] and when Denise wants to know what he said, tells her he said it can be hard for a parent to confide in a child and sometimes it's easier to confide in other people. [By this time they are both forgetting to keep their voices down. Chris.] But now Paul thinks she is confiding in Alistair, and Alistair feels terrible: he kept thanking Alistair for being there for her. Decisively, Denise says that is It: she can't carry on like this. She's going to have to tell him. She knows that they said they would wait, but the longer this goes on, the more lies they are forced into... Alistair reminds her he always said it's up to her: does she think now is the right time? She tells him John is getting impatient anyway and she's worried he is going to tell Paul if she doesn't. And she can't have Paul confiding in Alistair: it's too hard on both of them.

The clearance of the tree is proceeding to its conclusion, and Emma congratulates George on his hard work; he says he's not finished yet because there is a lot of stuff all over the road, and sets off to fix that. Ed hands him the tip Brian has just bunged over, which embarrasses George. He doesn't want it, though Emma tells him he deserves it, but then takes it after all. He goes to clear the road as he had intended, and a bewildered Ed asks what that was all about; Emma says not to ask her, she can't keep up with his moods at the mment. Ed would have thought that with fifty quid in his back pocket George would be laughing. Emma tells him to watch the trailer, and asks if he is missing doing the harvest at Home Farm, and Ed admits that he is a little bit, the pay cheque anyway. Emma feels they are doing all right with the tree surgery, and Ed agrees; Hank Grucock is still throwing jobs their way so they must be doing something right. Ed adds that today won't have hurt their reputation either, Brian is so grateful: him and Stella are desperate to get the barley in, and hopefully they won't be shy about mentioning Em'n'Ed to other people. They agree they are glad they went for it, and the best part is they get to do it as a family. They share a kiss, then Ed starts up his chainsaw again so they can get on with the rest of the clearup.

Alistair knows how hard this is going to be for Denise, but she is resolute that she wants to do it on her own: Paul needs to hear it from her. She starts to weep again as she utters her wish for him to know how sorry she is, sorry she lied, sorry she wasn't brave enough to end things with John sooner. Alistair tells her she is being brave now, and when she's explained things to Paul, well, it may be a shock at first but he'll understand. Denise hopes so; Alistair reassures her that Paul is her son and he loves her, and Alistair loves her too; she thanks him, and he tells her he'll wait for her at home. He'll tell Dad to make himself scarce [um, whose house is Greenacres, again? Chris], he adds; trust him, this will all be so much better once it's out in the open; she just has to get through telling him first. As he opens the door Paul comes through it saying 'Don't bother!' in outraged tones; Denise makes matters worse by asking how long he has beenn out there, to which he replies 'long enough.' How could she? She tells him she knows what he must be thinking, but if he'll just let her explain... He doesn't want to hear it. Choking, he says he feels ill, and when she asks where he is going simply rushes away, with her pursuing him and shouting to him to wait and to hang on.

The explanation from her, that the last thing she wanted was for him to find out like this, with Alistair adding 'of course it was', cuts absolutely no ice with Paul,who shrieks at Alistair that he can shut up as well. Denise adds fuel by telling him not to talk to Alistair like that: it isn't his fault. Shrilly, Paul repeats the words, and then wants to be told whether Dad knows. He has the unreasoning tantrum we have all been waiting for. She tells him that her feelings for Alistair have nothing to do with her falling out of love with his dad, which he doesn't for a moment believe and says so. Alistair tells him to hear his mum out, and Paul can no longer contain his righteous wrath or possibly hysteria; he announces that he is going, he can't stay there, the two of them make him sick. As Alistiar shouts to him to hoold on, he slams the door behind him and Denise starts to sob again, this time more loudly: what has she done? She's ruined everything. Alistair tries to comfort her but she is inconsolable. Paul hates her, she sobs. She knew he wouldn't take it well, but she never imagined... What's she going to do, Alistair; what is she going to do?

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 23rd July, 2024

A front row seat for Susan and abasement for Alistair.

Characters: Neil, Susan, Lily, Ben, Paul, Alistair
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Mel Ward
Editor: Jeremy Howe

In the shop, Susan has drafted Neil to help her shift stock that is too high for her to reach; the volunteers have not bothered to rotate stock on shelves too high for them [and presumably the customers. Chris] so she wants it rotated now. He cheerfully helps, and asks what is for supper, and they joke about foraging in Leaders Wood and various dishes they have had; Susan says Tracy plans to make more as a good way to get Jazzer to weed the garden. When Neil lists possible dishes made of garden weeds such as goosegrass soup and cow parsley Susan tells him not to be unkind. In fact she is planning to have Tom Archer Smoked Paprika Sausages, to Neil's pleasure. Susan is glad Ed and Emma seem to have done themselves a favour clearing the fallen tree: Brian was in earlier buying a tin of corned beef and full of praise for them. He even mentioned how conscientious George was, making sure no rubbish was left on the road. She tells Neil she's seen a real change in George recently: maybe he and Neil should go for a pint. It must be a year since he had to fire him from Berrow, so why not? Since Neil fails to leap on the idea, she tells him who else popped in earlier: Ed, who wanted to talk about Emma's surprise birthday party. He's booked upstairs at The Bull. Neil expresses surprised interest, saying 'great!' Before they start inviting people, though, Ed reckons they should decide on a theme: Susan favours 1984, quickly explaining since Neil seems confused that it's not for George Orwell but the year of Emma's birth, though it could just be the eighties generally; Ed didn't seem that keen. [Which since neither he nor Emma would know much about the eighties, which ended shortly after they went to school, seems reasonable to me. Chris.] Neil declines to get dressed up as Big Daddy, which surprises Susan as the first thing he thinks of. Since Alistair comes into the shop at that moment, Neil appeals to him: what does he think of when he thinks of the eighties? Initially stumped, Alistair mentions being knee-deep in vet training.

In the House of Sanctimony, Lily is cooking and Paul is just going down to the shop: does she or Ben want anything? Neither does, so he goes off saying he will be back in a bit, and Ben asks if he's been being like that since, well, she knows? Lily says he was very upset last night and spent most of the evening on the phone to his dad and then his sister and hasn't been in work today; this doesn't surprise Ben, who thinks it is all a bit grim. He knows Alistair isn't technically family any more [and there's a non-sequitur if ever there was one. Gus], but he really is surprised; people make mistakes and everything but Ben feels he doesn't seem the type. Isn't Denise younger than him? This reference to disparate age catches Lily on the raw, and she postulates that it might not be a mistake: maybe they are genuinely in love. It sounds like the marriage was dead, anyway. Ben quite rightly supposes it is none of their business really, and Lily snaps that it's all very well people thinking they can judge a relationship from outside. He points out pacifically that he wasn't judging, which clearly forces her not have the row she was spoiling for; he then asks about the Freddie work situation, which allows her a legitimate outlet for her spleen [so long as she doesn't mind spraying Freddie's business all over the village, anyway. Chris]. Oh, he told Ben about the bullying? No, he didn't: Ben didn't know that, Freddie just said he wasn't having a good time. Lily apologises to Ben and says she shouldn't have, and Ben assures her he isn't going to say anything, then presses for more information: was it about the stolen meat? Lily assures him that it is all resolved now and he even got an apology after she told Vince what was what and he did what she told him to. [That is not how she put it but it is what her remarks amounted to and I am tired of pretending the little liar does not lie. Chris.] Ben asks if Freddie knows she intervened for him and she says no and she thinks it's probably best if it stays that way.

Still at the shop, Neil is talking to Alistair about cricket, and then as he tries to get going Susan stops him to talk about The Stables re-opening – Cantering On is what they are calling it – and wants to be sure they are making it clear the strangles wasn't Alice's fault. Despite Neil' admonitory 'Susan!' she goes on about a lot of bad things being said about Alice at the moment; a lot of them justified, as Alistair comments. She thought maybe if there was some sort of official statement, she says in a tentative-determined way. Alistair tells her Jakob has been dealing with the outbreak, and tries again to get away. However [as several hundred thousand listeners were expecting. Chris], all this flapdoodle has served its purpose of delaying Alistair's departure until Paul's arrival. Susan immediately asks Paul what he thinks, which leaves him none the wiser since he didn't hear the question, and exasperates Neil, who thinks it's all a waste of time and will make no difference. He also doesn't think Alistair and Paul are the right people to ask anyway, and, when Susan asks what he means, reminds her Alistair was there when Alice ran Mick's car off the road, and so was Denise. He adds that it's a good thing they were, because he dreads to think what might have happened if they hadn't been: isn't that right, Paul? Paul almost reacts, and Neil goes onto say it was a stroke of luck Alistair and Paul's mum were around to rescue everyone from the river. In a lacklustre way Paul says 'yeah' and Susan asks if there is anything else, love. No, just the beers, he mutters, then turns on Alistair, asking to be reminded why Alistair and his mum were driving around so late at night. Alistair sticks to the story about the sheep, and Susan interrupts to tell Paul that will be seven-fifty, cash or card? Neil says it was a very brave thing they both did, wading into the Am like that. With deep insincerity Paul says that's Alistair for you, always putting others ahead of himself, turns down a receipt and makes to leave; Alistair asks him if he minds Alistair coming with him, since he was hoping for a quick chat. This is too much for Paul, who suggests he goes on talking to Neil and Susan instead: he's sure they'd like to hear what Alistair has been getting up to with Paul's mum. He wonders if they'll have such a high opinion of him then, he says loudly as he goes out of the door. Neil clears his throat, embarrassed; Susan stammers; Alistair says he should probably go, and does.

It seems that it just felt to Lily like Vince wasn't taking it seriously, but she's glad she got through to him in the end and it's all worked out for the best. Ben suggests maybe it's a sea-change and Casey Meats will deal with bullying by the book in future; that is what legislation is there for, he says piously, to protect people. Lily hopes so: Freddie winds her up, but she also can't stand anyone [except her. Chris] pushing him around. Ben hits the nail on the head by saying that's her job, which she doesn't take issue with, only saying that she is the older by two minutes so she thinks she's allowed to do a little bit of pushing, if it's in his best interests. Ben disagrees; as the youngest of three, he wishes there were legislation to prevent the tyranny of older siblings. Clearly not meaning it, and laughing lightly, Lily says he is right and she should practise what she preaches. Paul barges in saying 'Don't even ask!' and slamming the door, so of course Lily asks, and Paul explosively explains that Alistair was in the shop, but when Ben asks says it doesn't matter what Paul said to him and he doesn't want to talk about it. He is going to go and watch some trashy TV; Josh isn't on the console, is he? He's out with Nina, reminds Lily, and Paul rushes out slamming another door. Lily asks Ben to keep an eye on the chicken and take it out of the oven when the timer goes, and, in spite of Ben saying she might be best leaving him for a bit, goes after Paul.

When she gets to the other room Paul tells her he said he doesn't want to talk about it, and then talks about it: he's great, his boss is a sleaze and his mum's lied to his face, he's doing great. As she tries to speak soft words of comfort to him he asks if she knows what the worst part is: all the stuff he's starting to question, all the times they were hiding what they were up to, laughing behind his back. Lily assures him nobody's laughing, but he is not ready to believe that: what were they doing then? She has no ready answer, but says they probably didn't know what to do and sometimes these things just happen. when Paul asks what things, she says being attracted to someone and falling in love. He is unimpressed by this, so she reminds him that he told her his parents barely spent any time together, but Paul certainly doesn't see that as an excuse for his Mum cheating on Dad. Lily agrees, and Paul rants on: Dad's in pieces, how could she just throw all those years away? Lily is just saying no-one sets out to do these things on purpose, and all you can do is wish there were some other way. Oh, come on! says Paul impatiently: they knew what they were doing was wrong; Lily argues that so did she when she got together with Russ. Is Paul calling her a bad person? When he says 'no', she says 'well then', and tells him his Mum's a human being. Lily is not justifying what she's done, or Alistair, she just thinks life is messy, that's all. The door opens: Ben is sorry to interrupt, but has come to tell them Alistair's at the door, and ask if he should tell him to go away.

Outside, Paul approaches Alistair, who seems to have started to walk away. He thought he made it clear how he felt, and Alistair begs him for one minute to make his case. Paul agrees to one minute, and when Alistair does not immediately speak impatiently prompts him: well? Alistair tells him that if Denise had said there was still a chance to make things work with John he would have walked away, really; he didn't pursue her. This isn't some tawdry workplace affair: he thinks Paul's mother is the most wonderful, beautiful person he's ever met [including Shula, whom he wanted so much he could taste it, eh? Chris], and he is sorry that because of that he's caused Paul and his family pain. It's not because he doesn't care: he thinks an awful lot of Paul, which is why he promises to do whatever it takes to prove himself worthy. He loves Paul's mum, and he wants to make her happy. He hopes Paul will eventually understand that was all he ever intended. Evenly, Paul asks if that is it, and when Alistair says yes, says 'Good'. He wants Alistair to understand something too. He thinks Alistair is disgusting, the lowest of the low, and when Alistair tries to remonstrate he raises his voice and goes on. Even if his mum was unhappy, it wasn't an invitation and Alistair didn't have to take advantage ('I didn't,' protests Alistair) worming his way in like that ('it wasn't like that,' says Alistair); Paul shouts that Alistair is her boss. Alistair argues that he never abused his position and honestly, if Paul won't take on board what he is saying how will they ever work together? Paul can't believe it: work together? Alistair says he can't stay off forever: they need him. Shrilly, Paul accuses Alistair of trying to manipulate him now: what, because he's an employee he has to accept what Alistair says? Bad luck, Alistair: Paul has no intention of ever working with him again. Alistair begs him, seriously, not to do this; Paul, keeping it surprisingly clean, tells him to shove off and take his stupid job with him. He then goes back inside and slams the door with angry emphasis.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 24th July, 2024

Elizabeth is annoyed Vince listened to her, and Fallon finds listening to Emma tedious.

Characters: Elizabeth, Vince, Emma, Fallon, Pip
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Mel Ward
Editor: Jeremy Howe

As they drive to the tea-room for a 'treat' Elizabeth congratulates herself that the advice she gave Vince seems to have borne fruit and makes digs at his way of sorting out the problem with workplace bullies; Vince is not amused. He has already said he is pleased by how it turned out: it didn't blow the issue out of proportion, everything got settled without a lot of silly fuss... He ends his remarks by saying all's well that ends well and Freddie's not going to get more bother, and then realises what he has just said and shuts his mouth with a snap. Elizabeth has not missed it, and wants to know why he didn't tell her it was Freddie being bullied.

Emma can't get over the idea that Alistair and Denise are having an affair, and wants to discuss it with Fallon; Fallon really is not interested and just says she has heard of weirder affairs. Emma's shocked that they were carrying on right under Paul's nose and starts to be righteous about Paul's shock; Fallon asks if table fifteen outside has got their drinks. Emma says yes and continues to gossip in spite of Fallon's obvious monosyllabic boredom with the subject. When she says with relish that Jazzer told Tracy to keep her nose out so Susan reckons he must have known, Fallon intimates that Jazzer has a point and it is none of their business. Even then Emma can't take a hint, and keeps on speculating, until Pip comes in looking for Fallon and provides a welcome excuse not to listen any more. Fallon greets her enthusiastically, though Pip clearly is not bringing good news; when Pip starts to tell Fallon that Natasha is not taking what Pip says on board Emma can't resist commenting. Natasha is adding things to the list of stuff for the hen-party, and what is really freaking Pip out is that Natasha is saying she has already bought loads of stuff like the robes, and the eye-masks, and because they are personalised she can't send them back. Fallon completely gets where she is coming from, and will speak to Natasha again. She's not around today, she is visiting one of her growers in Herefordshire, but tomorrow. Pip explains they are already massively over budget and Pip is worried she'll order more stuff before then: it's all got so much bigger than they planned. Emma suggests Fallon could ring her, and Pip says that would be amazing; when she talks to her, Natasha doesn't seem to listen. Fallon agrees to do that and asks Emma to watch the counter. Emma sees no need to, so Fallon suggests she might see if there are any tables that need clearing, and goes to get her phone.

Elizabeth is now making light of the idea of confidentiality, telling Vince he can't be serious. Vince says it wasn't for him to tell her; at the higher end of her vocal range Elizabeth tells him that Freddie is her son and of course he should have told her. [This is wrong in so many ways that I can't even. Chris.] She asks if that was what the atmosphere on Friday was all about, and Vince informs her placatingly that it doesn't make any difference now anyway; she exclaims 'no difference?' with indignation, and when he reminds her that he handled it the way she suggested, says that it makes the world of difference. If she'd known it was Freddie being bullied she'd have... Well, what? Vince asks. Making a recovery after a pause, Elizabeth says she'd have wanted to know exactly what these bullies had been doing to him. [Why? Does she get her jollies thinking about ways Freddie is being made unhappy? Chris.] And Vince kept claiming it wasn't too bad. Vince reiterates that it wasn't; Elizabeth says it can't have been nothing, and Freddie is hardly wet behind the ears. Vince says he told her it was horseplay; she wants to know what exactly he means by that. Lynda interrupts them and lets Vince off the hook for now, and Vince heaves a sigh of relief. Her purpose is to rope Vince or rather Casey Meats in to provide help for the village fête; that neither Vince nor Elizabeth knows about the 'cost of living' theme confirms her in the feeling that she is vital, since Joy has failed to publicise the event to Lynda's standards. As it becomes clear she intends to talk at Vince until he gives her whatever she wants, Elizabeth goes in to grab a table, leaving him to his fate, or fête.

On the phone, Fallon asks Natasha to hang on while she checks with Pip. Would Pip be willing to provide a couple of written testimonials? Slightly dubiously, Pip says yes, she doesn't see why not. Fallon relays this, then says just to be clear, they're going to go back to her original quote, and all the add-ons and extras are free of charge. She rings off and Pip is ecstatic; neither of them was expecting that! Pip wonders how Fallon did it and Fallon is not sure: she guesses Natasha is really keen to promote the business, as does Pip, though Fallon wants to be sure Pip is really all right with having lots of photographs taken; Pip thinks it's incredible and Lottie is going to go wild when she tells her. Fallon wants her to double-check with the others anyway, because they might not all be so chuffed. Pip tells her not to worry: the only person who might not like it is Stella, and she doesn't have to be in the pictures. Besides, they're supporting Fallon's new enterprise and Pip is more than happy to help. Fallon disabuses her: it's not Fallon's enterprise, it's Natasha's. Now all they have to do is make sure it's a success.

Having got her own way, Lynda does love it when a plan comes together, and is sure Ian will be delighted too. She has already tasked him [sic. Chris] with devising delicious budget recipes he can demonstrate at the fête; Vince says he can supply him with all the cheap cuts he needs: skirt, flank, chuck and blade, scrag and middle neck, pork cheek, pork knuckle, trotters, marrow, tripe... Lynda backs away from the subject, saying he should liaise with Ian. They will make sure the name Casey Meats is used prominently when they are promoting the event. Vince asks when the fête is, and Lynda explains it has had to be moved; it was on the same day as the Women's Institute coach trip to Cheltenham, but that would never do: what would the fête be without the WI tea tent? So it will now be on August the twenty-fifth. Vince says that date rings a bell, and checks his diary, adding that it hardly matters since he can send someone on his behalf: Freddie, perhaps, and he can be Ian's commis chef, an idea Lynda thinks would be splendid, a fantastic idea. Her enthusiasm stops abruptly when Vince says his Shelly is dragging him to the Cantering On bash at The Stables. She says that can't be right, but he is sure that's the date he was given; she exclaims that what she means is they mustn't be on the same day: Ambridge isn't big enough for two events and they will cannibalise each other. Oh, why on earth didn't anyone tell her?

In the tea room garden Emma is trying to drive off Hilda, apologising to Elizabeth as she does so for the animal's presence, calling her 'that wretched cat' and explaining she hangs around looking friendly and then going for kids. She also has an unsightly tick on her face which they can't catch her to get off. Emma is otherwise on her favourite subject of the moment, the affair between Denise and Alistair: what does Elizabeth reckon Shula will make of it? Elizabeth neither knows nor cares, judging by her lack of interest in answering that one, so Emma goes on to ask if it is adultery if you are the one that's married or is it both people. [She and Elizabeth both needed the answer to this, didn't they. Chris.] Elizabeth doesn't think it matters; Emma sighs and says she can't imagine Shula will approve. [Nobody else can see that it has anything whatever to do with Shula. Chris.] Vince now comes over, and Elizabeth says they will come through and order at the counter, thus getting rid of Emma. Vince asks if everything is all right, and Elizabeth yes, yes, fine, just some surprising news, before returning to her inquisition about Freddie and the bullies. Like an ass Vince says it was just horseplay, name-calling and a few shoves, and one of the lads put a pig's snout in Freddie's jacket pocket. Elizabeth is horrified, which he seems not to have expected, then indignant: and he didn't immediately haul them in? He should at least have given them a formal warning. Vince asks why she thinks he was looking at their disciplinary policy until she suggested how to deal with it informally. She exclaims that she didn't know about the pig's snout, but Vince ignores her to say that besides, that's how Freddie wanted it handled. Elizabeth mutters that he probably wasn't sure Vince would stand up for him if it was made official. Vince tells her that Freddie was concerned about getting anyone into trouble. She insists that was because he was scared, but Vince thinks not: it was because his heart's in the right place and he understood they were just upset about their mate getting fired. That's what it was to do with, the thefts from the abattoir. Elizabeth finally grasps that Freddie was getting bullied because he helped catch a thief; Vince tells her that Freddie stood up for the thief and all, and at the end of the meeting Antonio could see that he tried to do right by everyone. Vince has pulled Freddie up before for what he thought was currying favour with the staff, but when he heard him talking to Antonio, well, let's put it this way: Antonio shook his hand. Elizabeth is to trust him: her boy can hold his own. Elizabeth is still dubious: is Vince sure he isn't going to keep getting bullied? It's definitely stopped? Vince assures her the meeting did everything she said it would: isn't that what she wanted?

Fallon bids goodbye to Pip, saying she will see her soon, and Emma wonders how much it will cost Natasha to comp all that stuff. Fallon's guess is more than a couple of hundred quid. Emma reckons if it brings in more bookings they'll be doing hen parties all the time, but Fallon is not happy. Emma reminds her she's always loved doing big events, but Fallon tells her that was back when it was Fallon's business; she only agreed to do the hen party because Chelsea talked her into it, and now it's ballooned into this enormous new thing. She sighs, then says it's nothing. She chose to take the manager's job: she didn't have to bottle it, she could have tried to set up again on her own. Emma tells her firmly that she didn't bottle it: everyone needs to earn a living. Fallon contrasts herself with Emma, starting the tree surgery business, and says that's so brave of Emma and she's in awe; Emma points out she is still working at the tea room, isn't she, and hasn't burnt her bridges yet. Fallon is aware that at least Emma knows where she is going, and where is Fallon going? Nowhere, that's where. Emma wonders if it might have something to do with the accident [which happened months after Natasha had choused Fallon out of her business. Chris] and what happened afterwards, but Fallon asserts that she and Harrison are fine now; she just feels like she is going to be doing all this work for Natasha and Tom and their business; where does she come in, what's in it for her? Emma doesn't know all the details, but they're looking for someone to run the café at the new EV charging station; Fallon knows, she got an email and signed up for updates. Emma thinks maybe she should really consider it. It's not like she couldn't still set up on her own. She doesn't have to stay at the tea room. No, Fallon says meditatively.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 25th July, 2024

Lynda is (on the) offensive and George is coming unglued.

Characters: Alistair, Paul, Lilian, Neil, George, Lynda
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Mel Ward
Editor: Jeremy Howe

At the surgery Alistair is surprised to find Paul collecting his things. Alistair tells him that he has been telling head office Paul is off sick, and Paul unpleasantly suggests that he didn't fancy telling them the truth; Alistair keeps his temper and says that in spite of what Paul has said to him he doesn't want Paul to lose his job: they have to come up with some sort of plan. Paul can't just keep not turning up for work. Paul tells him to stop worrying: he has written his resignation. Alistair says he doesn't have to do that: if he needs time, they could arrange some sort of sabbatical and he can come back when he's ready. Paul laughs bitterly and tells him not in a million years, but at this moment Lilian walks in (even though afternoon surgery has not started yet) and hopes they are both feeling brave; she has brought Hilda in with a nasty tick bite that needs looking at. Alistair says OK; Paul says 'good luck' and makes as if to leave, but Lilian tells him he can't go: he is one of the very few people Hilda doesn't instantly want to kill. Paul apologises, but tells her he is not working, so she asks for Denise; Alistair tells her that at the moment, it is just him. By making a point about how swollen and sore Hilda's face is and how she won't tolerate Lilian holding her, Lilian manages to get Paul to greet the animal kindly, and Hilda at once calms down. Alistair suggests waiting for Denise to come back, but has no idea how long that will be and will have to ring her to find out where she is; Paul tells him not to bother and offers to help.

As George is on his way to afternoon milking at Bridge Farm Neil calls to him to stop, and after some awkward pretence at easy gossip with him about such essential matters as the hen party George, who really is not interested, tells him has has to make tracks, and Neil finally does as Susan instructed and invites him for a pint after work. George asks if there is something up, and Neil unconvincingly says that he just thought it might be nice to spend time together, since he hasn't seen him properly since hay making [on 8th July, when George was not at all happy to have Neil as a foreman. Chris].

Doctoring Hilda has gone well, with a final antibiotic injection against possible infection given and Hilda returned to her basket by Paul. Lilian thinks the two men are cat-whisperers: Hilda is all sweetness and light for them. Paul says she just likes being a diva, and he's the same; Alistair says that if Lilian would like to take her back through to reception he will bring the tablets for her, but Paul says he will do that, and opens the door for Lilian to take Hilda through. Alistair stops him as Lilian goes out, and Paul shuts the door again and asks brusquely what he wants; Alistair just wanted to say thank you, because he would have struggled to do that on his own. Paul softens enough to say he couldn't let the cat go without treatment, and that he'd better get Hilda's medication.

Lynda wants to know if Neil knew about Lilian having had the nerve to arrange The Stables' re-opening for a day on which the fête was not going to happen before Lynda moved it. She asks George the same question; he doesn't know, and she triumphantly says they can hardly claim to have advertised it very well. She is outraged that The Stables is offering attractions that will be unavailable at the fête, and, when Neil and George enthuse that Poppy would love them, angrily exclaims that while the fête is making a noble attempt to chime with our straitened times, The Stables is throwing an equine extravaganza in order to make money! Talk about bread and circuses, she adds bitterly; how will they ever compete? Neil wishes he could tell her, but 'us workers are just trying to enjoy our pints.' For a wonder, she takes his hint, apologises and leaves them in peace. In her absence George breathes heavily and Neil opines that heaven knows how she didn't know about The Stables when Susan has been going on about it for days. Does George know that Alice is coming back next week? George didn't. All they can do is hope rehab has done its job, sighs Neil. Poor little Martha has really struggled, this time, without her mum. He dreads to think how it's going to affect her if Alice gets a jail sentence. He then asks if George is all right, and George comes back to himself, offers him another pint, and (since Neil is only half way through the one he has) goes to the bar to get himself one, with Neil reminding him to take his special glass for it.

Lilian tells Paul to put his phone away: the drink is on her. Mum was so happy when Lilian told her how beautifully Paul had treated Hilda, about whom Peggy still worries. Paul thanks her and says that's very kind; Lilian then greets her 'other favourite vet', Alistair. Paul manages to be civil to him, and Lilian insists on buying him a drink, the while panegyrizing the vets and their practice in the village: the four of them really do make a fabulous team. As Alistair raises his glass George calls her over asking for a pint and a whisky chaser [or as one might say it, and small – or a double – scotch. Chris], Lilian goes to serve him and Paul makes it very plain that he is not interested in Alistair's attempt to talk to him about staying at the practice.

Meanwhile Lilian serves George his whisky, and starts to draw him a pint as Lynda arrives to tell her that she has not replied to the several voicemails Lynda has left for her. Lilian informs her that she appreciates Lynda's predicament but can't possibly move Cantering On; Lynda will just have to move the fête. Impossible, pronounces Lynda; she has already moved it once. [Yes, to the day when Cantering On was already happening. Chris.] Lilian heartlessly says she'll just have to move it again and serves George his pint; he asks for another whisky. Lynda tries to talk Lilian into moving her event, telling her it will look as if she is using her commercial might to undermine the charitable efforts of the village. George interrupts to ask how much Lilian wants to be paid, and she turns away from Lynda to tell him fourteen seventy. She turns back to suggest that if it is competition Lynda is worried about maybe she should try making the fête a little less moribund. This is fighting talk, and Lynda duly rises to the bait, repeating the word as one who might say 'a handbag?' and defending it as tradition, which some people appreciate. Lilian doesn't say gotcha, but she does say that in that case she shouldn't be worried, should she. George proffers his payment at the same time as Lynda tells Lilian she merely felt Lilian should have the opportunity to avoid embarrassment. George says 'cheers', Lilian assures Lynda that it won't be Lilian who is embarrassed, George slurs 'catch you later ', and Lynda picks up the obvious gauntlet with 'we'll see about that, shall we', to which Lilian replies breezily that they most certainly will.

Neil enquires of George how many pints it is now, and George, clearly at least bosky if not downright cast away, says he doesn't know. Neil is still on his second, and George says that he'd better catch up then, pushes back his chair and asks if Neil wants another. Neil says no, then tells him to sit back down because it's Neil's round and he'll go the the bar in a minute. He then selects this moment to tell George there is something he's been wanting to say to him, though it was Nana who suggested it really, and George is alarmed, asking him if he's heard something: he thought Neil said there was nothing up. Neil is puzzled and repeats that there isn't, and then starts to try rather confusedly to explain about what he thinks relations are between him and George, saying that in the last two months something has happened (which alarms George again) and that George is different, he's more grown up; Tracy was telling him last night how much better George is getting on. He's not saying George doesn't still have his moments, like that nonsense at hay-making... George, fed up, wants Neil just to tell him what he is getting at. Neil suppose his point is that George is a good lad really and he's proud of him. George seems not to understand, and wants to know what Neil is proud of him for. Well, Neil explains, for a start he saved three people from drowning. George protests sulkily that it wasn't just him, and it was only because of what happened with the car... If he hadn't... Neil asks what, and George stammers that if he hadn't... Neil is worried and asks sharply what he is trying to say, and George carefully enunciates his theme that he is not a hero. They can write on this stupid glass but that doesn't make it true. Neil cheerfully says that might be how he feels, and George loudly proclaims that it isn't about how he feels, it's about what he did. Neil, faint but pursuing, says 'sure' and George goes on: and now he's going to have to give evidence and he's going to have to stand there in court... Neil interrupts to say 'come on' and George says it will be his fault if Alice goes to prison. Neil says that's enough, now, but George is not done: is he supposed to drink to that? he asks, and stands up, smashing his hero mug. Alistair asks if everything is OK and Neil says yes, then instructs George not to touch it; when Neil tries to smooth things over, George proclaims that this man here is the real hero, isn't that right, Paul? Paul, who has not been following as indeed why would he be, asks 'what?' and George drunkenly explains: Alistair and Paul's mum, they saved Mick and Joy. Neil apologises generally, saying he doesn't know how George got himself like this, and Alistair mentions that he did see him drinking shots at the bar, at which Neil exclaims 'what?' in his turn and then 'when?' and George defensively says it was just one or two chasers. This exasperates Neil somewhat, and he decides that he had best get George home; Paul asks if he needs a hand but Neil is sure he doesn't, while George announces loudly that Neil says he is proud of him but he shouldn't be, and Neil tells him he's not while George is in this kind of state and starts to escort him firmly from the pub. Alistair says that they will deal with the glass, and Neil tells 'you two' to enjoy the rest of their night.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 26th July, 2024

Alistair and Denise must dance to Paul's piping or leave the practice, and well-meaning Pat makes George's life worse.

Characters: Alistair, Denise, Susan, George, Paul
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Mel Ward
Editor: Jeremy Howe

It seems that Alistair is cautiously optimistic: Paul wasn't about to sit down and have a drink with him, but compared to earlier in the week... He honestly thinks Denise should try talking to him again. She wants to; she's called him, she's left messages, she's been over to the house. Alistair pleads that if she'd been there yesterday, if she'd seen them working together [this doesn't work, because if she had been there Paul would not have felt obliged to stay and work with Alistair for Hilda's sake. Chris], just the fact he agreed to help with Hilda, that's a massive step forward. Denise thinks that's Paul all over: he can't stand to see an animal suffer. Exactly, agrees Alistair, and he still hasn't resigned, or not as far as they know. Denise so wants him to be right: the thought of losing him forever... she starts to sob as usual, gasping out that she doesn't think she has ever felt so alone. Alistair tries to comfort her: of course she's not alone, she's got him hasn't she? He really does think Paul just needed some space. It's got to be worth another try. Maybe, she sniffs, she doesn't know, she sniffs, then abruptly says 'look at the time!' as she realises they should have opened up two minutes ago. The last thing they need, she says firmly, is to start the day running late. As she starts to panic about finding the keys, he tells her to wait: speak to Paul. He can manage on his own for a while, and Paul is ready to listen, she'll see.

After expressing relief that George has come in to work, since she was afraid he would have stayed in bed nursing his hangover, Susan subjects him to a lecture about getting drunk and getting into trouble with Tony again: she wants to know what got into him. Was it to do with the accident still bothering him? No, he protests, but having had the idea, she is not about to let go of it: Neil said he was saying all sorts of stuff about how he doesn't feel like a hero and about giving evidence in court; he knows he smashed his lovely pint glass? Not deliberately, he protests. And he said he felt bad about Alice. he informs her that whatever he said, he didn't mean it: he was drunk. She shows every sign of going on 'and another thing'ing indefinitely, and he asks her please, his head is already pounding, just stop. She scolds that she is only asking, and luckily Pat intervenes, saying hello, but then at once remarks she feels better than George by the look of it, and Tony said he seemed out of sorts. He says he is all right, just a bit poorly, that's all, maybe because he ate something that didn't agree with him, then makes his escape to take the Montys back to the field. Susan supposes she ought to be getting over to the dairy, and Pat offers her a quick coffee and says that it's not nine o'clock yet. Susan still hasn't seen Seren and Nova's new veg patch.

Denise is now hammering on stables' house door and bellowing for Paul, who eventually comes to the door and listens while she starts to abase herself to him, making thoroughly unpleasant comments as he does so. She tells him she is sorry for not having told him straight away, and for deceiving him and his sister, and their dad; she asserts it's the last thing she ever wanted. But she couldn't carry on with things the way they were and she didn't want to hurt anyone, she gulps throatily. She knows she messed up, but please, she's still his mum. She begs him not to leave and asks if he has he started looking for another job. He hasn't, but he's sure there are plenty out there. Still throatily [sounding more like attempted seduction than anything. Yuck. Chris] she tells him they're not like here and she knows that he loves it here, and the clients love him. He protests, and she goes on: what about his friends? Josh and Lily won't want him to leave; they've made such a lovely home together. Paul wants to know if she thinks he wants to. He didn't create this situation. Suddenly brisk, she says that he didn't, so they need to work it out; he must tell her what he needs her to do. He asserts that he needs her to be honest, about everything: how long it's been going on for, all the times she and Alistair were carrying on. She remonstrates at that, and he asks how he can even think about moving past this until he knows what he's moving forward from? She agrees, if that is what he needs, so he grudgingly condescends to let her into the house.

Susan thinks the twins' garden is adorable. Pat says they have planted baby beetroot and radishes, and Susan broods that Seren and Nova must love it; she saw them yesterday running around in their little Bridge Farm boiler suits. Pat wonders when you can spoil grandchildren, if not now. She then says point-blank that George isn't sick, is he. She's not stupid, and knows a hangover when she sees one. Susan sighs and tells Pat that he was drinking last night because he's not been his usual self since the accident. In a lot of ways it's been the making of him and he's gone up in a lot of people's estimations, but there are other times like last night. Pat wonders if he could still be traumatised, but Susan doesn't think it's just that; there is something else, something he doesn't want to admit [oh, the irony. Sigh. Chris]. Pat says 'Susan?' questioningly, and Susan tells her she reckons he's scared of giving evidence in court.

Paul is putting Denise through the Spanish Inquisition, naming every possible time she and Alistair might have been canoodling, or worse, without his knowledge, and demanding details. He shouts at her about when it began, and she claims it started when he and John were in Saint Lucia, which he seems to accept, then realises that was why Alistair said he was going to leave when Paul had only been back one or two days. Denise explains that Alistair didn't think they should go on working together. Paul regrets having begged him to stay: he knew there was something weird going on, the two of them were acting so strange. and then Jakob had a go at him for always yakking on: did Jakob know? Denise tells him this is what she means: it's not just her and Alistair, it's the other people who have been forced to lie too, which of course makes Paul demand to know who those are. He dislikes the answer, and she tells him she will answer all his questions if he wants her to, but the reason this is happening now is because she wanted the lies to stop. [Which is itself a black lie: it was Alistair who wanted her to tell Paul, and had done for some time, while she declined to do so until Paul found out by eavesdropping. Chris.] That's why she told John. That's why she was going to tell Paul, if he hadn't overheard. He asks if there was a sheep, that time she went into the Am, and she says no: she and Alistair were on their way to a hotel. At this point he says he'd like her to leave now, please; he's heard what she has to say. She wants to say just one more thing before she goes, and does: please don't resign.

Pat waylays George in order to coach him about giving evidence in court. She tells him it is entirely understandable to be nervous about giving evidence, especially about someone he knows, and he says 'I guess' and then that he is a bit nervous. She admits that it is a very different circumstance, but when she gave evidence at Helen's trial she just kept reminding herself that all she had to do was tell the truth. She's not saying it's easy, standing in that witness box having holes picked in his testimony, he's going to feel like he's the one on trial ('yeah,' breathes George); she was so terrified of saying something that incriminated Helen (George murmurs agreement), and that was in spite of knowing she wasn't guilty. Even in this case, though, he mustn't be scared of saying the wrong thing. What happens to Alice is out of his hands; his job is to be honest and tell the court what happened exactly as he remembers it. He can't do anything else, OK? George sighs agreement, then says cheers and that he will bear that in mind. Pat is glad to hear that; she warns him it won't be a pleasant experience but, as long as he knows he's being truthful, he'll be fine.

Alistair is trying to convince Denise that Paul's an adult and he's not naive: he'll come to terms with it. The good thing is, she's made a start. He's sorry but he is late for his farm visits; she tells him to go, and she will hold the fort there; he tells her she is to try not to worry, it will be fine, gives her a quick kiss and starts to go, but is halted by Paul coming in with the silkily spoken words 'oh, you're not leaving, are you?' Paul has something he needs to say, and requires them to be silent while he says it. He has decided not to resign: he's going to come back to work straight away. They start to express pleasure, but he silences them: he is still speaking. Denise was right. He does love his job, and he loves where he lives, too. After Denise left, the same thought kept going round and round in his head; why the hell should he destroy his life? He's not the one who's done anything wrong. So the deal is, they'll be professional together, but that's it. Their relationship starts and ends there. Denise tries to argue, but he icily shuts her down: he doesn't think he said he'd finished. They can get up to whatever they like outside this surgery, but when they are there, if it's not about an animal or a client, he doesn't want to hear about it. Do they think they can manage that? Because if they can't, it won't be him going anywhere; they can find somewhere else to work. Agreed?

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 28th July, 2024

Ambrose goes walkabout, and the wedding barn is to be used for the hen party.

Characters: Emma, Susan, George, Ruth, Jill, David, Pip
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

A search is going on at Ambridge View for Martha's toy giraffe Ambrose [whom Martha has owned at least since 2022. Chris], which she has lost somewhere. George has managed to calm the child for a bit, then stayed asleep on the sofa after Martha woke up and went with Neil into the garden. When Susan and Emma start to talk about him rather than just about Ambrose, George mentions that he is fully awake and that he is hungry. Susan assures him food won't be long, and then, in reply to Emma asking if she is sure Martha even had Ambrose with her, says that Martha has always got him with her, or in her backpack. When Emma starts to extol how brilliant George has been with Martha, and Susan talking about how it isn't really about Ambrose, with reference to Alice being away and the arrangements for Chris and Brian collecting her tomorrow from rehab, followed by Emma talking about the court case, George rises abruptly from his pretence at sleep and goes off to look for the giraffe out front. Emma can't see the point, though Susan says Martha might have dropped him on the way in. As soon as he has left the house Emma and Susan start to discuss his mercurial moods at present, one day silent and the next chatting, as Emma says, ten to the dozen to Tony. Susan hoped he might have felt a bit better after Pat had a kind word with him the other day, and he is trying to help with Martha, which is a good sign. Emma agrees, adding that she knows he's been through a lot himself [oh, for goodness sake! What exactly has George 'been through'? Chris] [Puberty? Gus] [You reckon? Chris]; Susan says it's hard at his age when they are kids really and working out how to be grown-ups. She tells Emma to sit and have a rest while she gets the lunch on.

A frail-sounding Jill [she's ninety-three, you know. Chris] fails to pay attention to Ruth because she is looking at a video on her phone from Leonard, and much laughter from Ruth ensues as she teases Jill about this. Jill is worried about the spread of the Asian hornet, and doesn't want them feeding on her bees. Ruth teases her some more about Leonard being on holiday. Jill comments deadpan that that's not funny, Ruth. To this jolly scene enter David, enquiring if it is lunchtime already and complaining about litter in the hedge, in the paddocks and in general. He feels people can have a picnic by all means, but take their rubbish with them. He and Alistair have had a chat about the talk Alistair will give at the NFU branch meeting, and Ruth says Alistair could have stayed for some lunch if he had the time; David suggests that would be so she could ask about the 'situation' with Denise. Jill, not mincing her words, calls it an affair. Ruth asks if he mentioned it, and David says no, and (forbiddingly) that neither did David. Good, says Jill: it's none of their business. Ruth thinks it is, on the grounds that he is David's ex-brother-in-law; Jill puts the emphasis on 'ex' and David asks if she is OK. Sotto voce, Ruth tells him Jill is missing Leonard, as Jill says emphatically that she is fine.

Emma wants to know what George is doing in Neil's car, and he explains he is looking for Ambrose. She is not convinced Martha had it with her when she arrived; George thinks that since Neil often has Martha in the car it might be there anyway. Emma wants to know how he calmed her down when Susan and Emma had failed to: he did what always worked with Poppy, he put on her favourite cartoon and gave her a biscuit. On enquiry, he tells Emma that Martha's favourite cartoon is the one with the big bird and the little bird, which has her in stitches every time. Emma croons that George is good with her, then tells him he needs a haircut and relates him not being smart as he was a few weeks ago to Tilly Button; George crossly asks her just to concentrate on finding this giraffe. According to Emma Tilly comes into the tea room sometimes and asks after him. George appears not to care, and Emma, saying it's nearly lunch time, wonders how many places there can be in one car for a giraffe to be. George peevishly remarks she could have dropped him anywhere: he's not a life-sized giraffe. Anyway, Emma is the one who said Martha needed him. Emma tells him she knows he cares, but he doesn't have to be the hero; he crossly says that's not why he's looking, but Emma ploughs on: Martha already thinks the world of him and he already helped her feel better. It's enough. George mutters that she's just a little kid, and Emma muses that she must be feeling confused, missing her mum. It''s horrible when you're young and don't know what's happening and you know it's bad. Emma felt like that when his Nana had to go ... away. George, scorning euphemism, says 'when she went to prison', and Emma says she was away for months, 'and I refused to see her' because she was so scared of going to that prison and knowing Susan couldn't leave. Now she has children she understands how that must have felt for Susan, her own child not wanting to see her. Emma couldn't take that, and she doesn't want to see Chris struggling by himself like Neil did. Whatever she's done, Emma wouldn't want that for Alice either. She apologises for going on, then suddenly sees Ambrose under the car.

David informs his family that the wet winter and spring mean harvest yields will be down, and then there's the litter, and now Mum's worried her bees might get attacked by Asian hornets. Ruth says he is meant to be cheering Jill up, and Asian hornets haven't been spotted in Ambridge yet, and while the litter situation is terrible and she is all for getting people to take their rubbish with them... David mocks her as 'Miss Positivity'. As she is telling Jill and David to wallow in their doom and gloom Pip comes up and is greeted as someone to break the negativity. She asks what is wrong, Jill replies there is nothing wrong with a dose of reality, and Ruth informs Pip that Jill is missing Leonard. Pip is sorry, but is not about to lighten the mood: the hen party venue has something wrong with the electrics and has cancelled, and although they will get their money back they simply don't have time to find somewhere else. David tentatively points out the obvious: they have an events barn, though Pip shoots this idea down by explaining that it wouldn't fit the plans they had made for the other venue. While she is denigrating the barn, Jill pipes up to say that in her day it was a quiet sherry with the girls, the night before your wedding. Pip says Stella is with her on that score: they are having to drag her to it. Except there isn't an 'it' any more.

Emma is crowing about Martha's face when she woke up with Ambrose in her arms [had she fallen asleep while digging in the garden with her grandfather? Chris] and Susan tells George he has made his little cousin very happy, though he protests it was Mum really. He should get going, anyway; he'll just walk back. Emma tells him not to be daft: she will give him a lift. She thanks Susan for lunch, and Susan then remembers she has something for George, from Martha. He's mortified and doesn't want to take it, but Susan tells him Martha made it when George was in the garden with Neil and gave her strict instructions to seal it in an envelope like the letters Mummy and Daddy get. George takes it and goes out saying he will see Emma at the car. Emma says 'See? Hot and cold', but Susan reckons he is just embarrassed and tells her to leave him be.

Pip returns to tell David the barn is free, and is now booked. She has spoken to Lottie and Alina, who agree it's too close for an entire rethink so they are going to try to pull it off at Brookfield. Jill thinks it sounds like an awful lot of work, and Pip breaks it to her that Alina has invited her, which Jill thinks a ridiculous idea: she doesn't even know Alina. Ruth wonders why, and Pip says Alina has family back home and it's because her own two grandmothers can't be there; she said Jill being there would be like her grans attending. Jill grumpily says 'we'll see' and David that he is not sure hen parties are mum's thing. Another video from Leonard arrives, and Pip suggests that maybe she can send Leonard some photos of her own? Jill considers that Pip is right, and maybe she will go.

George will be fine for tea and Dad will be back later, but Emma is actually hanging around because she wants to see what Martha made him: isn't he going to open it? He reluctantly does; it is a picture of the big bird and the little bird, Martha and George. She insists on putting it on display and when he remonstrates tells him not to be embarrassed: he's not just Martha's hero. She kisses him, tells him he is hers too and she loves him, and breezes out. Almost in tears, he says 'stop saying hero' to the shut door.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 29th July, 2024

Alice is back, Paul is still there, and Jakob is at the end of his tether.

Characters: Alistair, Paul, Jakob, Brian, Chris, Alice
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

When asked a question by Alistair about a client's appointment, Paul is initially civil but seems unable to resist being snarky almost immediately; however, he greets Jakob with exaggerated good cheer. Jakob says Lilian is insisting they must all go to The Stables' re-opening; Paul tells him that Joy equally firmly wants them to be at the fete. Jakob suggests a compromise of two to each event, and Paul immediately says 'baggsy I'm with you' [apparently not realising that means he is throwing Alistair and his mother together. Snigger. Chris]. When Alistair comes back with the tin of biscuits Lilian left for him and Paul, on Hilda's behalf, Jakob comments that Lilian's got good taste, and takes one when they are offered to him, but Paul claims to need something from the store cupboard and goes off there. Jakob remarks that he thought things might be improving once Paul decided to stay, and inquires if he has been like that all morning; Alistair says yes, he is sticking to his word and engaging with Alistair and Denise only about work. Jakob thinks that ridiculous. He'll have to have a word with Paul; Alistair implores him not to make things worse even than they are now. Alistair will mention it to Denise when she's back, but when Jakob asks if Paul is like this with Denise too says he's worse with his mother. [So why mention it to her? She already knows. Chris.]

On the way to collect Alice, Brian and Chris converse, with Brian first saying that he really hopes Alice has made some progress because she will need to have to cope with what's ahead, and then beating his breast over having approved of Harry and about having said the wrong thing and driven Alice to her drunken behaviour, while Chris tries to reassure him that it really is not his fault Alice used him as the cause for a bender and if it hadn't been him it would have been something else. Brian also feels guilty because Kate told him he pandered to Alice, and words are so important; Chris sensibly advises him that if we all started worrying about everything we say, nobody would ever say anything to anyone. He is just happy Martha will get to see her mum, today. If Alice is ready to see her, he adds more dubiously. Brian is sorry to be so negative: he's got the harvest playing on his mind too [sic. Chris], and Chris is right: they have to show Alice they are one hundred per cent behind her. He is just praying she'll come out of that place with a fresh new perspective on things, and maybe then they can start the process of changing her plea to guilty. Chris clearly doesn't quite agree about that, but Brian ignores his attempt to say so and just tells him that they all know that the sooner she changes her plea, the better for Alice.

Alistair is now fed up because he has just had an argument on the phone with Denise, and Jakob crossly tells him that's what you get for interfering between a mother and her son. He denies interfering and says the mother happens to be his girlfriend, and when Jakob points out that she is married and is also their veterinary nurse tells him that he is not helping. Married or not, she is the woman Alistair loves, and it was never supposed to be like this. He goes on a bit about the poor nature of Denise and John's marriage, saying he can't go there because of John and she doesn't want to come to his place because his father is there, and she is paranoid that someone will gossip and it will get back to Paul... Jakob acerbically enquires, and what? It can actually get worse than it is now? Probably, Alistair responds, which means he is seeing less of her than he did before. Jakob says he is no good for advice on personal matters, but Alistair tells him he is wrong, he's perfect: he shoots from the hip and he never cares about anyone's feelings. Jakob takes this as permission to tell Alistair that the position between Alistair, Paul and Denise is most uncomfortable for him. Alistair points out that they're not exactly enjoying it either; no, exclaims Jakob, but he's not having an affair with a married staff member, or a staff member's married mother, so the discomfort is completely undeserved from his perspective. And it's getting more and more out of hand. Alistair asserts that is because it is a complicated situation, and Jakob warns him that it can't play out in the workplace or he will have to speak to HQ. It's making work impossible. Alistair needs to be honest and admit he knew from the start of this affair that it was only going to lead to trouble; when Alistair angrily protests, Jakob reminds him that he told him weeks and weeks ago to tell Paul the truth. He failed to follow that advice, and now Jakob's expected to listen to Alistair whine on (the word seems to incense Alistair), and now it's exploded in Alistair's face and he and Denise are arguing with each other. How is Jakob supposed to work when the three other staff members are unwilling to speak to one another? He just wants to do his work, see his girlfriend of an evening and then go to sleep, which is really not too much to expect. In a surprisingly normal voice, Alistair sees his point. He's sorry. But you can be a vet and a human being, you know! he delivers as a louder parting shot; it's not an either or. The door shuts emphatically behind him.

Brian is delighted to see Alice, and tells her she looks well and her chariot awaits; she asks for a hug. Once in the car, he asks how it was, and they chat awkwardly while Chris concentrates on driving, except to speak to her about Martha, who does not yet know she will be seeing Mummy soon. It would be a nice surprise, says Chris; and if she wasn't up to it, Alice fills in, Martha would be none the wiser. Chris doesn't argue with this. Brian chips in to say he was telling Chris on the way up that he has a good feeling about this. He then tells Alice he has booked an appointment with the solicitor tomorrow (Chris doesn't seem happy about that) because he thought that given she has a fresh perspective on matters, it might be good to talk through the possibility of her changing the not guilty plea and what that might mean. She doesn't reply, and he hastily tells her it doesn't have to be tomorrow, he can re-schedule... Chris says slowly that might be an idea, but Alice tells them brightly that it's fine, honestly: it's a good thought.

Finally having snapped, Alistair is having to remind Paul that they are at work and he is Paul's boss. He will not accept behaviour like this at work! Jakob comes in wanting to know what the hell is going on, and Paul tells him to ask the boss, why doesn't he. Jakob wants to know how much more of this he is going to have to take; Paul throws the question to Alistair, who says that he is warning him... Paul refuses (loudly) to take orders on how he should behave from Alistair, given Alistair's shenanigans with a veterinary nurse, boss or no boss; Alistair tells him to watch his tongue, that veterinary nurse is also his mother. Yes, but that doesn't make him Paul's dad, Paul replies irrelevantly. Jakob tells them both that's enough, and then tells Paul to go and answer the phone, please, now. When Paul has slammed the door behind him he asks Alistair what that was, and Alistair states the bleedin' obvious: it was an argument, in case Jakob hadn't noticed. He is trying to navigate a tricky situation, but whatever they are dealing with, Paul's attitude just now was not on. It's just snarky comments under his breath, all the time. He then thanks Jakob for his support on that one, and Jakob asks if Alistair wants him to fire Paul; no, no, of course he doesn't, Alistair groans. Jakob, confused, asks 'then what?' but Alistair doesn't know. Perhaps Jakob should go ahead and call HQ, and say what he likes; maybe they'll fire me instead, he adds bitterly. Jakob says he's sorry and speaks of his own day, not sunshine and roses either; sometimes he looks back at his single days and thinks how simple it all was then. Kate is the one for him, but her family! Alice is coming out of rehab today, everyone's on tenterhooks, Kate and Brian have only just got back to being comfortable with each other, and what if Alice coming back changes everything? Whatever he does where Alice is concerned it never seems to help, it always makes matters worse. Kate is with Martha while Brian picks Alice up, and Jakob just wants to be there with her in case she needs some support, but he's useless. Alistair chuckles and tells him his words could do with warming up, but clearly he cares about Kate a lot, and for her family too. Jakob feels that caring for people is over-rated. Alistair suggests they put the kettle on and Jakob can tell him more. And if Paul doesn't want Hilda's posh biscuits, then they do.

Having dropped Brian off, Chris has taken Alice to be greeted by Martha. Kate has sent him a picture of Martha covered in chocolate; he lets slip that they are making cupcakes, realises, and says he may have spoiled a surprise; Alice promises to act surprised. She thanks Chris for bringing Brian to pick her up, and asks how she looks. She is wearing a tee-shirt Martha loves, as Chris remarks, also telling her she looks great. He says he is sorry about Brian, earlier, and all that stuff about the solicitor; Alice assures him it's OK, really, Brian is just doing what he thinks will help. She can't hate him for that. She's already put him, and everyone, through enough. Chris's help for being there is not nothing, either. Right, she'd better go in, she says decisively; is he coming? No, he replies, he'll leave her to it; Martha will want her all to herself. Alice suggests it might be easier for her to have Chris there too, but he reminds her she has only been away three weeks and video-called Martha every night, so he thinks she'll be fine. Alice braces herself and gets out of the car, asking him to wish her luck, which he does, but only quietly and after she has shut the door behind her.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 30th July, 2024

George feels cornered, Jazzer speaks his piece and Alice isn't changing her plea.

Characters: George, Chelsea, Alice, Brian, Jazzer, Chris
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Although George tells Chelsea she can't just turn up and force him to have a haircut, it's clear that she can, because ultimately she does. He protests and says he doesn't want one, but on the basis that his mother has already paid her, she insists and he capitulates. He draws the line at letting her wash it, and when he objects to her spraying water into his eye she accuses him of being grumpy. He seems to have forgotten that it is Brad's birthday and they are going to The Bull for Brad's first legal pint, though he quickly recovers enough to make fun of Brad's probable tiny capacity for beer. He also has no interest in Chelsea's various suggestions for different style of cut; he just wants it a bit shorter all over. She then starts to go on about Tilly Button and his reputed attraction to her, which irritates him a fair bit though he still falls for it enough to ask if Tilly has been talking about him or what. Chelsea claims Tilly is always talking about him, or at least she mentions him a lot. She also instructs him not to go blowing hot and cold on her like he does when he's in a mood, because she won't put up with it, hero or no hero. George wants to know what that's got to do with anything, and Chelsea tells him it's his USP and she has been telling her customers wherever she goes that she is related to him; he is unhappy with the idea she talks to her customers about him. She explains that the customers of hairdressers always want to talk about everything, which is why she knows all there is to know about relationships – in spite of not having a boyfriend, as George is quick to point out. She tells him Tilly is really nice, and not the idiot people treat her as being because she is pretty. She is very loyal to her sister, and is saving up to travel, backpacking first in Europe and then maybe in Canada. Paul has shown Chelsea pictures sent by his sister and Canada looks amazing. George thinks it sounds great, to get away. Chelsea suggests that if she gets his hair right maybe he and Tilly can go together.

Seeing the solicitor has not caused Alice to change her plea, and she is aware Brian is fed up; she will get a taxi in future so he doesn't have to give her lifts everywhere. He assures her that Stella can cope with the harvest, and he is not shuttling her about: he's her father. Is he dropping her off at Chris's so she can see Martha before heading back to The Nest? No, she is a bit tired and might just go home and get an early night, and see her fresh in the morning. Brian applauds this as a good idea, and then gets a warning he is low on fuel and needs to stop for petrol.

Tilly has messaged George to meet her for a drink, and, when he wonders why, Chelsea lets him know that she set it up while George was out of the room. He tells her to keep her beak out of it, especially since he is having a drink with Brad and Chelsea; she explains that is why she suggested Tilly could meet him somewhere else. Once Brad's had his first pint George can slink off and no-one will blink an eye and if they do, Chelsea will cover for him. He announces he is going to tell Tilly he can't come, so Chelsea tells him he isn't and snatches his phone. She asks if he is nervous because Tilly is older and more experienced, and he angrily tells her to shut up and give him back his phone. She argues that she is in the right, having just set him up with a girl he's been after for ages: does he really not like her any more? He mentions that Tilly is all over Aidan, which Chelsea immediately says she isn't: she went with him to one music festival, that's all. Does George honestly think she'd try to set him up with someone who is already with someone else. She hands back his phone with instructions that he is just to message Tilly a 'yes', and takes herself off.

While he is filling the car Brian greets Jazzer and has a quick moan about the price of petrol, then when he is told it's Brad's eighteenth tells Jazzer to pass on his and Alice's best to Brad. Jazzer's response is to say in a surly way that mebbe he won't, which Brian decides to pursue: is this about Alice? She is sitting right there in the car and Jazzer hasn't even acknowledged her. If there is a problem, he'd prefer Jazzer just to say. Jazzer takes him up on this: there are some of them who cannot believe she pleaded not guilty. Brian angrily tells him that what Alice does and doesn't do is none of his business, and it's not as if Jazzer hasn't been reckless in the past, or done something he'd regretted. Jazzer's response is that Fallon could have died and a baby did; Brian disputes that the latter is something anyone can know, but Jazzer just regards that as making excuses and says they are as bad as each other. Brian snorts, and asks if he has never done something ill-advised that turned out wrong, but Jazzer ignores that in order to say that Alistair is like family to him and Joy's a friend, and George is his wife's nephew; what Alice has done has affected people Jazzer cares about. Brian asserting that they care too, especially Alice, just makes Jazzer say that he knows she's an addict; Brian tells him to stop right there, and Jazzer continues to ignore him in order to assert that all these people Brian says Alice cares about are going to get dragged into court to relive that night all because his wee lassie won't stand up and admit what she's done. He's sorry, but that's the truth of it. He's shouting by the time he walks off.

When George turns up at The Bull Chelsea at once rushes up to tell him they are in the beer garden and everyone is here; he apparently got held up because he had to help Dad with Poppy. Chelsea asks what happened with Tilly, and when George says 'nothing' tells him Tilly messaged her to say he'd turned her down; Chelsea is put out because she set him up with a date and he turned it down, and now Tilly's embarrassed and Chelsea looks like a numpty. George tells her that not everything's about her, and when asked why he would turn Tilly down when he likes her so much, says that he's not in the mood. She first thinks he is kidding her, then asks why: what's changed. Goaded to distraction, he replies 'me!' and tells her just to leave him be. She says she knows he likes Tilly, and he asks in exasperation if she ever stops pushing; she tells him she will shut up when he tells her why he is suddenly not interested in Tilly. He ill-advisedly lashes back, 'Not interested? I'm not able!', adding that whatever she wants to do, he's not, he can't... Chelsea is desperately apologetic and begs him not to walk off: she's sorry, she's really sorry, she didn't know he was having ... issues like that. He shouts that she is to leave him alone, and she makes matters worse by assuring him it's nothing to be embarrassed about. Savagely he snarls that if she tells anyone about this, anyone, he swears he'll ... He is interrupted by Jazzer shouting for Chelsea, and is able to make a getaway as Jazzer distracts her by saying that Jolene is about to bring the cake out and they can't find the candles, which she was looking after. He notices George legging it, and enquires if George does know the pub is this way.

Brian has decided he has to tell Chris what is being said; he apologises for calling round so late. Chris feels it's not like Jazzer, but Brian is sure he meant every word, and is sure he's not the only one. Forget the law; Alice is being judged by the court of public opinion, and her 'not guilty' plea is not going down well. Chris asks whether Alice heard him, and Brian says not, but she will have seen him talking to Brian and him not acknowledging her. He feels they need to do something: Alice is clearly better after rehab (which Chris puts in is not a silver bullet) but they don't want encounters like the one with Jazzer to knock her off course. Except how do they know she's not already at home necking a bottle of vodka after Jazzer's attitude, he asks bitterly. She says that is because she is there, and surprises him: he thought she wasn't going over there tonight. She wasn't. Brian asks suspiciously if this is an ambush, but Chris explains Martha wouldn't go to bed until she saw her, and a video call wasn't enough. So she came over, Alice adds. She's sorry Brian had to hear that from Jazzer. He claims that it doesn't bother him, but he won't stand for her hearing it every time she leaves the house, and Chris agrees with him: they need to change her plea to guilty. Chris starts to speak, but Alice cuts in: she's sorry, and can't find the words to explain, but until it feels right to her she can't change her plea. Brian tries to argue about it with her, painting the worst possible picture of having the book thrown at her, or if she were to get off being seen forever in the village as the entitled woman who got off scot free after causing all this. Alice says again that she's sorry, and Brian calls on Chris not just to sit there but to say something. When he does, after a fraught pause, it's not what Brian wanted, because what Chris says is that he backs Alice. Brian accepts that they all get to have their say, but there is a little child asleep in there who does not want to be parted from her mother. When the other two say nothing, he leaves in disgust. After the door has shut behind him Chris lets out his breath and says Brian's not happy, and Alice excuses him: he's used to getting what he wants. Chris then argues that even so, what Brian said makes sense, especially for Martha – she saw that tonight. Alice knows, and knows what they must all be thinking, but when Martha grows up she wants to be able to show her that she stood by what she believes to be the truth. She's an alcoholic and knows she can't expect to be trusted, but she has so many fragments of memory from that night: car horns blaring and George's voice, but not even one moment of her driving in the dark, not one flash of her getting the keys out of the glove-box or stopping so abruptly on the bridge. Starting to gasp, she says that until she's sure she just, she can't... Chris soothingly tells her it's OK; don't worry, they'll get through this. That's not what she wants: she will get through this. His support means so much to her, but right now he can't get tarnished because of her. He is Martha's centre and that's the best help, honestly. He must be there for Martha, and Alice will sort out Alice's mess.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 31st July, 2024

Jim's whisky and Jakob's eardrums take a hammering.

Characters: Jazzer, Jim, Paul, Jakob, Alistair
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

In The Bull, Jazzer is maundering on about having offered to help transport furniture to the barn for the hen party; Jim reproves him for talking an awful lot, and he claims just to be keeping Jim informed, whereas Jim thinks he is uneasy, and reminds him they agreed that it would be good for Alistair and Denise to be seen together in public with their support. The couple are due after they finish work, and Jim and Jazzer argue about what would be the best place to sit together, before Jim starts to tell Jazzer about Lynda having offered to help Joy with the fête: Jazzer has refused to run the welly-whanging, on the grounds that who'd want to be in charge of a bunch of folk chucking wellies on the green, but Jim has agreed to do it, and Jazzer advises him to watch out for green wellies because they're the most dangerous. It's busy for a Wednesday evening, and Jim wonders if that will be easier for Alistair and Denise, but there is a distraction when Jim sees what he thinks is Chris and Jazzer panics because Chris is angry with him about what he said to Brian at the petrol station. Jim admits that when it comes to Alice he's torn: she can't be in a very good place right now [sic. Chris], but Jazzer is clear that he has no time for her at the minute. Before he and Jim can disagree about her, Jazzer gets a text from Alistair to say that Denise has backed out so they're not coming.

Returning from a call-out, Paul thanks Jakob for giving him a lift [presumably so he didn't have to trudge to wherever it was on foot. Silly. Chris] and Jakob says there is no need to mention it since they both attended the appointment. Work will be locked up by now, so Jakob can drop him off wherever's easiest, but Jakob is going there anyway because he has paperwork to do. Paul asks anxiously how he did today, and Jakob assures him he did well, was good with the client and was developing a real rapport with the horses. Paul is pleased and says he is glad he stayed; Jakob agrees he was glad too, but takes the opportunity to point out to Paul that it hasn't been easy this past couple of weeks. He knows Paul's mother and father's relationship ending is tragic and sad, but they are adults, dealing with their relationship as they see fit. Paul is affronted: so he doesn't have a say? No, Jakob doesn't believe he has. He can have a response, emotions, but not a say in their relationship. Paul asks if he has kids Paul doesn't know about, and Jakob remarks that there it is again, that sharp edge. Much as he understands why Paul is behaving as he is, Alistair and Denise were keeping their relationship secret because they wanted Paul and John to find out in the right way, though Jakob does appreciate there is no 'right way'. He then stops the car and tells Paul that since Paul is upset and there was a pub back there, he is going to buy them a pint and maybe even dinner if the food looks decent. Paul argues against the idea, saying that he is feeling sad and that's just a human emotion, so Jakob doesn't have to take him for a pity drink; Jakob is determined.

Alistair, slarmy, is talking about his feelings to Jim and Jazzer; they have all adjourned to Greenacres. He likes John and thinks he is probably a good man, though Jim instantly remarks that John doesn't like Alistair, and when Jazzer says there are many reasons not to get involved with a married woman, Alistair muses that it can't be wrong when it feels so right. Jazzer suggests there's a song that goes like that [it wouldn't be Fairport Convention's 'If It Feels Good, You Know It Can't Be Wrong', but it ought to be. Chris] and Alistair mutters that he needs another whisky. Jazzer pours lavishly for him from Jim's 'very expensive bottle of single malt' and Jim tells him that he doesn't want Jazzer filling a pint glass; Alistair informs Jazzer he is a bit generous with the measures and Jim peevishly adds 'especially when he hasn't paid for the bottle'. After a brief argument about whether it is a pity party or a cheer Alistair up party, Alistair apologises and says he's not himself today. It's one of those days when he feels... He trails off, and Jim helpfully offers him 'wretched' and 'pathetic', and Alistair suddenly asks why Paul doesn't like him and seems aggrieved about it: he's a fairly decent person. The doorbell interrupts his maundering, and Jazzer guiltily thinks it might be Chris, but in fact it is the food they have ordered from the Thai place. Alistair decides not to bother to watch his weight for Denise, but just gorge himself.

As they sit outside the pub Paul tells Jakob that he knows his behaviour has been unacceptable but doesn't blame himself, and he offers extenuations which do not at all exonerate him. He goes back over things, and when Jakob tells him not to do that claims that he can't help it. He clearly feels that he has made a fool of himself in his talks with Alistair about his parents' marriage. Jakob repeats that Alistair always wanted to tell him the truth, but it was not Alistair's place to do that before Denise did. Paul stammers out that he could have convinced her if they're so loved up, but Jakob puts him right about that: they both know no-one can convince his mother of something she doesn't want to do, especially where Paul is concerned, and Alistair respected that. Paul doesn't know why Jakob likes Alistair so much, and Jakob ripostes by asking why Paul dislikes him so much. Paul explains that he is Mum's go-to now, which Jakob doesn't understand: the person you go to for everything, whenever anything important happens in your life. Paul is Mum's go-to and she is his; that's always been the way. [Not that great a marriage then, hers. Chris.] He can't believe things were so bad between her and Dad but she didn't tell him. Jakob suggests that might be because John is Paul's dad, but Paul is in indignation-mode and ignores him: she gets together with her boss and doesn't tell Paul that either! Why did she stop talking to him about things? Jakob remarks that Paul is jealous, which Paul denies, immediately adding she's got Alistair now, it's obvious, even though they work together and Paul thought they were closer than ever they weren't. Alistair is her go-to. Jakob wonders if that isn't good, but Paul doesn't think so: he's her son, Alistair is just someone at work. How does he get to jump the queue? Jakob asks incredulously: there's a queue? Paul tells him he's right, Paul has been keeping his emotions bottled up [God help us if he lets them loose, then! Chris] and he can't share them with Dad, who's got enough going on, and isn't exactly easy to talk to, and Mum... So thanks for this, he tells Jakob, the dinner and the talk. He admits he has been unbearable at work, and apologises to Jakob for it. He's not going to do it any more: he doesn't want Jakob to be unhappy at work. Jakob hopes they will find a resolution for all of them, soon, because when they all work together, they really do make a great team. They did, agrees Paul; they really did.

Jim having had the good sense to go away to bed, Jazzer and Alistair are having one of the pointless, drunken conversations we all remember so well from our late teens, this one involving Jazzer's comparison of Tracy with a coffee cream chocolate, which Alistair thinks is lovely. Alistair announces that Denise is his coffee cream, a comparison Jazzer takes amiss; they argue about what chocolate Denise is like until Alistair says he has never really been into those tins of chocolates anyway. Jazzer however can see Alistair really likes her, and Alistair drools that he loves her more than anything, and at this stage, after a marriage and all the baggage that comes with it, before Denise it was too much bother, one minute you have your calving jack out helping a cow to give birth and, then you go home and it's just too much to get showered and dressed for a date with some random person who bakes her own bread or sets flowers in resin for a living. Jazzer would say that was quite specific if he were able to say the word, but he can't, and Alistair says that it's true; when Jazzer asks which, he says both. Not at the same time, obviously, he adds carefully. They were nice women, but then every day there'd be Denise. He burbles about it being a wonderful thing, knowing someone well. And then Paul came along and ... Ruined everything? suggests Jazzer, but no no no, he was the opposite of Alistair but fun and energetic. He's a good kid, enthuses Alistair; Jazzer mentions that Chelsea is crazy about him. Lugubriously Alistair states that he realises how much he misses Dan, and Jazzer, interested, asks how Dan is doing. Alistair affirms that he's good as far as Alistair knows, then reflects that once they grow up they go off and do their own thing; Alistair just has to trust that if he's not OK he'll let them know. It's not like that with Denise and Paul, they're so close! Claustrophobic, suggests Jazzer, but Alistair thinks not; maybe Dan and Shula are the same, mothers and sons. Jazzer puts in that Tracy always mothers Brad too much but she won't have it any other way. Alistair likes it that they're close, only, when push comes to shove, if it's between him and her son, Paul wins, hands down. [From his lips to God's ear. Can they both go off to Saint Lucia now? Please? Chris.]

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 1st August, 2024

A hen party is thrown, and George comes under discussion.

Characters: Pip, Emma, Fallon, Chelsea, Stella, David, Ruth
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

There is a great deal of preparation for the hen do in progress, trying to make a wedding barn equivalent to a house with several rooms. Cushions and chaises are being delivered and arranged, while Emma quizzes Chelsea about Paul's feelings about Alistair and Denise. Fallon feels sorry for Paul, with Alistair and his mum working right under his nose [why their getting on with their jobs is awful for him is not explained. Chris], and she still can't believe it's true. When they get inside with the things they are delivering, Pip is there to tell everyone what they are to do. Emma and Chelsea are there for an hour before they go back to the tea room, and Fallon seems to be there all afternoon. [Presumably the tea room is simply closed for lack of staff. Chris.] The cupcakes are going to be on a sunflower theme, for Alina. Fallon and Pip discuss Natasha having arranged things ready for the photographer, but when Pip asks when the photographer will be there, Fallon distances herself, saying that Natasha will have all the details about the extras; Fallon is strictly catering. Pip asks if there is black icing for Jill to use to make fondant bees to go with the cupcake tower's sunflowers. Fallon is surprised Jill is coming but Pip explains she is miserable because Leonard is away and they want her to stay at the party for as long as possible.

More organising, this time with Emma and Chelsea; Jazzer and George are on their way over with the chaises. As they are getting ready to leave, Chelsea asks how George is; Emma says he's fine and wants to know why she asks. Chelsea explains he was a bit off last time she saw him, and Emma how so, then makes light of it as George not wanting to get drunk again so publicly. Chelsea's agreement with this idea doesn't quite ring true and, after a pause, Emma asks if she knows something and then refuses to accept Chelsea's denial; Chelsea asserts strongly that if she knew, she'd say, but George never really said anything about what's bothering him. Emma keeps digging: so something is bothering him? She wishes kids came with an instruction manual. David coming over derails her train of thought, and he tells them he is supposed to be setting up the film for later in the evening and starts to tell them about what is going to be available until Emma says it would be best to ask Pip or Natasha. Thus given his congé, he sets off to find his daughter, pausing to ask if everything is OK out there; Emma tells him the unloading is taking forever and goes off with Chelsea.

Pip's organisational skills seem to involve not being able to tell left from right, but fall slightly short of 'no, your other left' as she instructs David where to put something. Stella laughs at her, and, when Stella and David start to chaff her, she asks them to be careful of the picture-board that took Lottie ages to make. Stella starts to complain about having to hold it while Pip makes up her mind, so Pip quickly says it's good where it is, only higher. Fallon comes to tell them Emma has gone back to the tea room, and she wants to ask what they reckon for her fortieth birthday cake. The family are planning something between them but Ed asked her if she can make the cake. Does it sound crazy if she says 'chainsaws'? Pip thinks that would be fine, though Fallon is not sure how she even makes a cake that looks like a chainsaw. David meanwhile has carried on fixing the picture-board and now says it had better be where Pip wants it; Stella says it looks great and asks Pip to confirm this, while David announces he is going to feed the herd. [Which is strange on two counts: herd not cows? and feed them, in August, when they are grass-fed? Chris.] Stella makes fun of the picture-board as a concept, and Pip kindly explains it for her while Stella heckles. When Pip mentions 'mark an important milestone' Stella sees where this is going and gets in ahead of her, saying, 'like marriage', then when Pip says 'well done' tells her it's not in fact funny, and issues a warning alert: Jill is in the kitchen interfering with Fallon's ingredients, and although Stella tried to explain to her that Fallon is doing the catering and Jill can just chill out and be a party guest, Jill wasn't having any of it. Apparently she's representing Alina's two absent grannies so she must contribute. Pip says this is not going to be easy; and Stella wishes her good luck and goes to help the others, in spite of Pip protesting.

To the accompaniment of music thumping in the background, Emma tells Fallon she has closed the tea room and come straight over. She asks how it's going and Fallon says some of them have been on the shots, as you can see. When Stella comes to ask for more nachos Fallon thanks her for entertaining Jill and keeping her from messing about with the ingredients Fallon has got organised in the kitchen. Stella shows Fallon and Emma some pictures they have taken of people mucking about on the chaises longues, and Fallon has a laugh about how George and David look in them; Emma asks Stella if she could send them over to her phone, which Stella willingly does. As Stella returns to her Jill-watching duties and Fallon starts to talk about the risk of running out of nachos, Emma seems distracted and Fallon asks if she's OK. She says she's fine, but then asks Fallon if she has seen those pictures: everyone is smiling and having a laugh except George, who hasn't smiled in even one of them. Fallon attributes it to teens getting self-conscious when they are dating, and Emma accepts that there is some nonsense around Tilly but she doesn't know what. Fallon suggests she should chill out.

When Chelsea comes to give her a message from Fallon, Emma is looking at the photos Stella sent her, and shows them to Chelsea. Chelsea is reminded of how Ben looked when she saw him before he had his mental health trouble, and Emma is scared by this, even though Chelsea tries to reassure her by saying he was like Ben but he wasn't: Ben was talking really fast, like if he stopped he was scared something bad was going to happen, and Chelsea should have done something or told someone because she just knew that something wasn't right. And that's the feeling she got when she saw George at Brad's birthday drinks. It wasn't like Ben was that time,she hastens to reassure Emma, she just had the feeling he wasn't himself. Emma asks what she thinks is wrong with him, then, but Chelsea doesn't know. Maybe he's going through some stuff he needs to share, but doesn't know how or who. Emma says he just clams up with her and she can't get him to talk about anything. Chelsea suggests they should have a word with Ruth and David, and when Emma says George wouldn't want that says George wouldn't know. They're taking over some food for them in a bit anyway, Fallon says. Just then Ruth materialises, having been sent to check up on Jill, but realises they might want to speak to her.

Later, Ruth and David are trying to help Emma whilst making it clear that whatever is happening with George is not exactly what happened to Ben. Emma has realised it's probably been going on since 'the night in the Am'; on that basis David thinks it might even be post traumatic stress disorder, which Emma reckons she could believe. He has always been a bit of a mardy teenager, she confesses, but since then it's, well, more. Chelsea reiterates that he doesn't seem like himself. Emma is not sure how to reach him. Ruth wonders if it could just be a phase, and David backs her up on that: and the fact that Emma's noticed, that she's addressing it, seems to him to be really important. A suddenly tearful Emma is sorry to bring it up, after everything with Ben, and Ruth murmurs that it's awful, when we can feel something's not right with our kids and we don't know what; she felt it with Ben and kept pushing it to the back of her mind and telling herself he was just stressed with his course, and knew nothing about what else was happening. Emma recalls they've all been teasing him about Tilly, including her. David recalls that when Ben was on the other side of his breakdown, when he was starting to heal, he told David that the reason he didn't say anything was because he didn't want them to think he was, well, broken. To think that he couldn't cope. He thought they wanted him to be perfect, but no-one is, are they. Sometimes we need to hear that, from the people who expect the most from us. Ruth muses about growing up, relationships, work, and how it can be so difficult. Chelsea wonders whether if he knew he could speak to someone about it, like someone he trusts, he'll open up. Ruth reckons she's right: if Emma is there for him, and he knows it, he'll have space to talk to her about anything that might be bothering him. 'He just needs his mum, Emma,' says David soberly. Emma braces herself: they are all right. Whatever is upsetting him, she just needs to show him she's here. No matter what it is: no judgement, no embarrassment, she's here for him.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 2nd August, 2024

Emma badgers confession out of George. A sob-fest ensues.

Characters: George, Emma
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Since they finished work at the same time, Emma insists on giving George a lift home from Bridge Farm, and then as he cavils tells him everyone else is going to his grandma's for tea; she wants to take him back to Grange Farm with her, but he would rather be dropped off at The Green. He doesn't fancy an evening meal where Poppy and Keira won't leave him alone. However, when he says he will have instant noodles for tea she offers to get him fish and chips, adding that she got paid today. Or they could go to the lovely pub at Hollerton Junction. She mentions having seen the pictures Stella took with Ben and Chelsea and David, in which it looks as if everyone is having a laugh except him; he says it depends when the picture is taken, doesn't it. Subtly, she says that if there is anything worrying him he knows he can speak to her. When she elaborates on the theme, he enquires if she's going to be like this the whole time they are out, and she apologises. She just wants him to know she's there for him. When she mentions that if there is anything about Tilly, or girls in general, he indignantly asks if she's been talking to Chelsea, which she denies, then admits that Chelsea is worried about him. He insistently wants to know what she said, and when the answer is nothing says Chelsea should keep her nose out of it, the stupid cow, and asserts she's lying, whatever she said. Goaded, Emma reports that all Chelsea said was he seemed upset at Brad's birthday drinks and she was worried about him, and whatever is up with him he cannot talk about Chelsea like that. [Whyever not? Gus.] He seems surprised that is really it, and apologises for the way he spoke about Chelsea, getting 'it's OK'. He now just wants her to take him home.

As they go into the house and close the door Emma remarks she keeps forgetting to tell Will to replace the doormat, and George suggests that she doesn't always have to come in. However, she wants to see what George and Will have in, and can then rustle something up for George to eat. He tells her to suit herself, and retreats upstairs to his room.

Once in privacy, George is crying. Emma comes and knocks on the door, which he has locked, then talks at him through it about her having often sat alone worried the world is going to cave in, but it never does. It just feels like that when we're trying to carry it all alone, and he is not alone because he will always have her. Tearfully, she asks if it is the accident, and this gets him to open the door. She sits by him, and he asks whether, if he tells her something, she will promise she won't tell anyone. A mere 'of course' is not enough: he requires her to swear on Keira's life; he means it, not even Ed. She agrees; just tell her what's wrong.

George, sniffing, embarks on an account of how dark, frightening and difficult his rescue of Fallon from Mick's car in the Am was. Emma waits for a pause and then tells him he was amazing, everyone said so, but he ignores her. Fallon thanked him, crying on the riverbank, and he'd never seen her cry. Emma sympathises that she must have been so scared, too. But George is not finished. And all the time, he goes on, she didn't know he's the reason she was in there. Emma exclaims 'what?' Denise was hugging him and he needed it, and then he heard the sirens and he knew he had to get to the bridge, to Alice, before they did. Emma tentatively suggests that was to check she was OK, right, George? No, it was to move her. Emma doesn't understand, so he explains further: it wasn't easy and his arms and legs were dead from being in the river, but she's only little and he just pulled... Now thoroughly alarmed, Emma asks what he is telling her, and he continues: he shoved her hard, over into the driver's seat, and put her seat-belt on. Then Alistair came, he sobs, while Emma cries out 'No!' Alice wasn't driving her car the night of the accident, blurts out George; Emma again cries out 'No!' and then 'Don't!' but he sobs that he was.

It seems that Emma has left him and gone downstairs, because he approaches her and asks if she is all right. She tells him he should go back to his room; she doesn't think, she doesn't want to, er. Did he get Alice drunk that night? Is that the party he was talking about? No! There was a party at Ethan's and he went there, but it was lame so he left; he was walking home when he saw Aunty Alice in her car, nearly passed out. So he was drink-driving then? enquires Emma sharply. No, she's not listening: he only had a cider for the walk home, that's all he had that night. Emma realises with horror that Chris was right about the empty bottle in the car. It wasn't a random choice of Alice's, it was there because it was George's. It comes to George as a revelation that he forgot about the bottle; he should have moved it. Like he moved Alice, he means, says Emma shrilly: can he hear what he's saying? He protests that he was trying to help Alice, trying to get her home so she wouldn't drive drunk. It was all fine till they got near the bridge and she started going at the door handle saying she was going to be sick. He was trying to stop her, and that's when he slammed the brakes on. Emma doesn't believe it, and George repeats he was trying to help her, he was trying to stop her jumping out. He is distraught, whilst Emma has realised what this means for her: all the things she's said about Alice, the things she's thought, accusing her of putting George in danger, and he... Words fail her, whilst he keeps reiterating that he just wanted to help her. He didn't mean for any of it to happen. Emma doesn't know what to believe: he's been lying for so long. And Fallon and the baby! oh God! He asks if she hates him, then although she says no contradicts her and says that she does. She just can't believe what he's done: she can't wrap her head round it. Trying to exculpate himself he says again that she was passed out; if he hadn't driven her... Emma breaks in to say that he was trying to help and he didn't mean it, but when he moved her he knew exactly what he was doing. He did it to make her look guilty. he even put the seat-belt on her! George blurts out that it was Alice's fault too, but Emma isn't having that: when he says if Alice hadn't got drunk in her car none of this would have happened, she tells him that is a dangerous game to play: he did something to make someone else take the blame for what he did, for what he caused. And now Alice and Martha, Chris, how is she going to face any of them? George, exasperated. shouts that this isn't about her. It's him that did it! Emma screeches back that he is her, doesn't he get that? Doesn't he understand that whatever happens to him, happens to her? She's his mother! Just like everyone's been singing his praises and congratulating her on having a hero for a son. And now they'll think... She breaks down in tears. Desperately George tells her that they won't think anything, because they won't know. No-one knows. She catches her breath, pauses and then addresses him very calmly: he has to be brave, he's got to tell the truth. He refuses point blank. She tells him they have to, and to encourage him says that he helped to rescue them, he was trying to help Alice to start with, it was an accident, and he's just young, he got scared, it happens. The police will understand. They could go to Harrison. The idea horrifies George: it was Harrison's baby that died! They are both tearful now. Emma suggests they should go to the police station and ask to speak to someone else, but George says 'no'; she says she'll go, and he breaks out again: stop it! He looked it up, he'll be done for perverting the course of justice. She says he can explain, he says he'll go to prison, and she tries to reassure him that he doesn't know that. His view is that if they can send Nana to prison, does she think they will give someone like him a chance? He can't, he can't go to prison. She starts to fumble with her phone, and George wants to know who she's calling, and, as she says they have to tell someone and then says Ed is the person to call, wrests her phone away from her in a panic. He'll dob George in! Emma reassures him that of course he won't, he's George's dad, but George says he's only his uncle and he's never loved George like a dad, not like he loves Keira. Emma can't believe he said that, but he asserts it's true. He'll think he's doing the right thing but he won't be. George starts to breathe heavily and say he won't, he won't; Emma gives him some water and he calms down a bit. When he can breathe again he reminds her that she promised she wouldn't tell anyone; she swore on Keira's life. She sobs that that was before. What about Will? No, George sobs, no, please. Emma says OK soothingly, and George explains that Will already thinks he's going a bad way, then, when Emma says no-one thinks that, tells her not to lie to him. He'll look at George and George will know, he'll know, what he's thinking, like he knows what she's thinking right now. He was only trying to help, he squeaks pathetically, and starts to sob again, brokenly begging her not to tell anyone, please. Please, Mum. He then asks her what she is thinking, and what she's going to do. She doesn't know: what does he want her to do, she asks savagely. He wants her to give him a hug. Weeping, and with the usual oh, come 'ere', she hugs him. He whimpers that he is sorry, and she says OK, repeatedly, and tells him there will be no police, no Ed, no Will: it's just him and her, he's got her, but whatever happens, they cannot let Alice go to prison for this. Look at her! They're not going to let that happen.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 4th August, 2024

Justin merits kneecapping, Alistair loses a bet, and Fallon has an idea for Ed.

Characters: Justin, Alistair, George, Fallon, Ed, Will
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

It being Sunday, the Ambridge team are playing cricket, this week away against Edgeley. Justin, who has decided he knows something about the pitch there, takes it upon himself to stop George on his way in to bat in order to give him unsolicited advice, which George first refuses and is then rude about. Alistair advises Justin just to leave it, but not before George has been rude enough for Justin to notice and ask, after he has walked off to the wicket, what has ruffled George's feathers. When Alistair says first that he did try to warn him and then that George is in a foul mood, Justin pretends ignorance of the first and asks why about the second; Alistair has no idea but reckons it probably best to steer clear. Justin is still ruffled [and serve him right. Chris], and picks a bone with Alistair for not being all bouncy and full of the joys of spring, saying he sounds as bad as George. He insists on being told what's up, and it turns out Josh Archer has pulled out of coaching the under-16s, which he was helping to organise with Hannah and Alistair, and thus left Alistair in the lurch. Justin nosily wants to know the reason, but Alistair declines to tell him. Picking away at him, Justin eventually infers that it is because Josh shares a house with Paul, and Paul is upset about his mother's love-life. Alistair unfortunately confirms this prurient guess by saying he would rather Justin just let it go, and is then goaded into telling Justin that his relationship with Denise is not just 'a fling': they care about each other, a lot. Justin thus has the opportunity to patronise him about affairs of the heart being tricky to negotiate, speaking from his own vast experience and a great height. Alistair is worried because John is coming to see Paul next week; Denise wants him to keep his head down, but that looks too much like skulking to him. The conversation reverts to the under-16s; Harrison would be a natural, and has had all the checks done, but he doesn't want to know, and when the idea is mooted Justin declines to put his money where his mouth is and volunteer.

Being forty is 'one of the big ones' and Ed and Fallon are discussing Wednesday's surprise birthday party for Emma: Fallon wants to do anything she can to make it special to thank her for her support over the past few weeks, and also because it's Emma. The food is all sorted: Fallon is doing it. Ed has booked Upstairs At The Bull and will take Emma for a family meal then spring the party on her, but he wants to do more than that; he'd like it to be special and he's not sure it will be. The room looks like it always looks, he says gloomily, whereat Fallon cheerfully tells him they can decorate it. He can't see how, and they need more than balloons. Fallon suggests pictures of Emma when she was little: Susan is sure to have loads. Fallon also suggests pictures linked to the party theme: what is it again? Ed is unsure: 'birthday', maybe? Clarrie suggested 'eighties' but he dunno. Fallon jumps on that, music and stuff, and when he says movies, she starts to enthuse: there's some brilliant eighties films, and the fashion was fabulous. They could have clips on the big TV, George could fix something up. Ed says wistfully that he does want this to be good for Emma, because he thinks she needs it; Fallon chimes in that she deserves it, [lived unslain to the age of forty: very deserving. Or not. Chris] but Ed says she actually needs it, because she's a bit down at the moment. He doesn't know what's wrong, though he thinks George said something to her. He thinks it might be about 'the big four oh' starting to get to her. He would like to do something a bit different for her as well as the party. Fallon suggests that if they are doing films, Ed could learn a bit from one of her favourites and dress up for it and do a few lines. She goes in, everyone says 'surprise' but Ed isn't there, nobody knows where he is until he comes in and does his act. Ed spots a flaw: if he's taking her there he can't be dressed up as well. Fallon suggests asking George to escort her.

The push for someone to replace Josh continues; Will manages not to understand what Alistair is getting at when he says it will be good for the team and the young players and for the people organising it too, and Justin gratuitously throwing in that it will be good for the planet is totally irrelevant and makes matters worse and irritates Alistair. When it's got home to him, Will is interested but can't do the days that are suggested. He does however know someone who might do it for them: George. Justin makes a scathing noise and Alistair is surprised, then Justin wonders if Will knows it's unpaid. Will however thinks it would be good for George, who needs confidence boosters at the moment. Alistair wonders if he would do it, and Will says he might: he'll have a word and let Alistair know. Someone is out and Will, who is in next, has to go; he'll see George after the match. When he is out of earshot Justin grumbles that George won't do it, and Alistair, more optimistic, thinks he might. Justin [whose judgement is deeply suspect. Chris] claims that he knows people and George, for all his qualities, is not the type; when Alistair rashly says they'll see, Justin retorts that they will indeed, and a tenner says he won't.

Selecting the right film is proving difficult, and Ed's suggestion of The Shining [1980. Chris] doesn't meet Fallon's approval; she offers Return of the Jedi [1983] but Ed is not dressing up as an Ewok: they may be cuddly, as Fallon says, but he has never liked them. Emma liked The Princess Bride [finally a film within Emma's lifetime: 1987. Chris] but Ed suggests E.T. [1982], then on second thoughts discards the idea: E.T. is just a bald Ewok. Fallon suggests Saturday Night Fever [1977]; apparently she knows Emma loves that film. [Rape, attempted rape and all, no doubt. Chris.] Ed is dubious: he's supposed to dance like John Travolta? But Fallon is full of enthusiasm: a dance routine. Strike a pose, roll your arms, all that. It only has to be a couple of minutes. And she thinks there's a white suit in the costume store at the village hall that would do. Why don't they go and have a look?

Ambridge having scored a victory which Will describes [indescribably. Gus] as 'comprehensive' leaves George indifferent. Will tries to enthuse him about helping with the under-16s; he has already heard about it, and is totally and utterly Not Interested. No amount of soft soap changes his mind, and he is not deceived: Will is trying to pull his strings, same as always, and he won't have it. Rudely, he shouts at his father to butt out: he doesn't want to know. Justin, eavesdropping with no difficulty at all, murmurs that he thinks they can probably take that as a 'no', wouldn't Alistair say? Alistair agrees that George did sound fairly sure about it, he supposes; Justin would rather say 'adamant', and Alistair remarks that there is no need to look so pleased: he thinks it's a shame. Justin gloats that as he told Alistair, he understands people. Ten pounds, he thinks they said?

Dancing on the radio is a sure-fire success; Fallon is coaching Ed and they are giggling together. It seems Ed is getting the idea, and the suit fits well enough until he splits it squatting and bouncing back up. Fallon assures him, when he starts to have doubts, that Emma is going to love it, for certain.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 5th August, 2024

Lynda and Justin both suffer defeats, one of which is thoroughly deserved.

Characters: Kirsty, Lilian, Justin, Joy, Lynda, Alice
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Kirsty has heard Ed is planning a surprise for Emma's birthday, but can't tell Lilian what it is because she doesn't know. Lilian will want a full report afterwards, though. She then hopes that they can expect to see Kirsty at their Cantering On event, especially since they selected the date first, but no; regretfully, Kirsty tells her that not only is she going to the fête, she is helping to run it. Lilian tries to guilt-trip her by saying she's the latest in a long line of people abandoning them [I don't see Kirsty as a riding-stable habitué, but who knows these days? Chris] but Kirsty really does have to go to the fête and is on her way to a meeting about it. Lilian is saddened: she can see this being a disaster with no-one turning up at all.

There is a measure of cheer waiting for Lilian at The Stables; Justin has entered all the bookings until October and they look healthy. The projected profits for the summer quarter are more than OK considering what happened, too. This does not stop her from glooming at him about the event she expects to be a failure, with everyone going to the fête instead. Justin reminds her that a lot of their customers come from further afield than Ambridge and will turn up for them, but she persists in pessimism. His determined efforts to cheer her up merit a grudging 'all right'. Before she becomes utterly exasperated with him, Alice knocks on the door, opens it and comes in, and Lilian greets her with considerably more enthusiasm than Justin does. Alice announces she is back where she belongs, and Lilian stammers agreement and says they can't wait to have her back at The Stables; well, here she is, Alice declares jauntily, back at work and ready to get started. In reply to Justin's anguished 'Now?' she replies not this minute, but some time this week. That's why she's there: so they can fix up her return.

For the fête committee meeting, Joy has provided cheese twists, about which Lynda is quite unnecessarily scathing; she feels they might be better after the meeting rather than before or with it. Lynda carries on as if she were running everything, while Joy remains good-humoured, even when Lynda calls Kirsty out for answering a direct question from her which had clearly been timed to catch her with her mouth full. Kirsty and Joy extol the way Mick has simply been getting on with practical things without fuss, which leaves Lynda rather out of the conversation, so she breaks in to ask pointedly whether there is an agenda. There is not, and it is clear Joy sees no need for one, saying that the main thing for today is who's running which stall, which Kirsty hails as a good idea; Lynda feels they should follow up on the clash of dates with The Stables event. [Which she caused. Chris.] Kirsty reveals that she saw Lilian on the way there, and she is quite upset about it, which Lynda seems to find gratifying; when Kirsty tells them Lilian thinks everyone will be going to the fête she says that Lilian is right and people will favour it. Joy is sympathetic to them: it's a shame, when they are trying to attract folk back. She can't help wondering if there is something they can do so that both events are a success. Kirsty is definitely in favour of this, but Lynda says that question is easily answered with the word No. When the other two exclaim against this she states that there is absolutely nothing they can do about it.

At The Stables Justin has set himself to persuade Alice that she has no need to rush straight from rehab into work, not helped even slightly by Lilian saying she would love her to start work again. Alice thinks Lilian doesn't sound sure about this, which of course causes her to be firmer, but also to say they are concerned about her health, a line Justin is ready to follow. That has to be the priority, they both agree. Justin suggests she might do it in stages: ease herself back in, a phased return. Alice repeats 'stages' and 'phased return' as if the words were completely unknown to her, but then feels that might work and it might be better that way.

Lynda 'really doesn't think there is any more to be said on the matter' and though it is unfortunate the dates are the same, there they are. There's no possible solution and they will want to move on. Kirsty argues that if they could think of a solution ... and Lynda cuts in to say they can't and have wasted enough time on it. Joy disagrees: she can; Lynda offensively asks 'you can what?' and Joy explains the solution, which has just come to her: the fête is on the village green and the Event at The Stables, so they're not exactly miles apart; they could set up some sort of vehicle to travel between the two, like a pony and trap, or a small cart. They could charge a flat rate for the journey, fifty pence single. As she and Kirsty wax enthusiastic, Lynda mutters objection, finally bursting out with the word 'no!' Joy ignores her to say that she thinks it will work, and Lynda tries her usual tactic of saying no, no, she's sorry but it won't. Apart from all the practical objections such as Health and Safety for a start, there is a moral dimension that rules it out absolutely: the fête is a charitable endeavour, especially this year when it's the cost of living fête, while The Stables is out and out commercial, its purpose being to make money. Kirsty feels that it is more than that, surely, but Lynda states that it is simply unacceptable to cart their customers up the road to spend their cash at The Stables. Joy points out that it would be two-way traffic, but Lynda puts up her standard 'no, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but we won't be doing it' veto, adding that they ought to move on to consider things they will be doing. Joy finally loses patience with her and says firmly that not yet they don't, and, when Lynda tries to sneer her out of countenance, is firm that she thinks they should put the idea to The Stables first. In tones of deepest patience Lynda tells her that she has just explained they won't be doing it. Joy replies that she heard what Lynda said, but she believes Lynda asked her to take over the running of this fête: that is what Lynda said, isn't it, she asks with an edge to her voice. Lynda reluctantly admits it was. That's what Joy is doing, then: if she is running things, the final decision is hers, wouldn't Lynda agree? Lynda starts to prevaricate, and Joy continues: clearly there have been a few too many decisions made by the wrong people. So does Lynda want her to continue organising the fête? Lynda clears her throat and then says that yes, she does. Joy thanks her, and says in that case, will Kirsty see Lilian on their behalf? Kirsty gives a ready agreement, but Lynda still doesn't think it's a good idea. Joy sweetly tells her that her objection has been noted, thank you, Lynda. If The Stables go for it, is Lynda prepared to organise it? Lynda would rather not, anything but in fact, so Joy suggests she might rather take on litter management, a vital contribution needing a firm hand on the tiller; can they put her name down for that?

Now that Alice has gone off again Lilian is free to enthuse about her looking well; Justin merely wants Lilian to realise that Alice can't work there again. Lilian thinks he is being melodramatic, but he is serious: it will be a hammer-blow to the business. She feels that is ridiculous, but he draws her attention to the damage done to The Stables already, though she rightly says that is not all down to Alice. He adds that there are chances of more; she just says the strangles outbreak wasn't Alice's fault, and that has been their biggest set-back. He tells her they have lost customers because of Alice; word's gone round, and would she trust her with her horses, or her child? Lilian is aware of that, but they should be challenging those opinions, not caving in to them. Justin is additionally put out because she is planning to plead not guilty when she goes to trial, which means she has a prison sentence hanging over her. Lilian doesn't answer that, but tells him that he heard what Alice said: she's straightening herself out, and Lilian believes her. Justin pleads that it's sad, of course it's sad, but what other business would land itself with risks like that? Lilian understandably wants to know what all that about a phased return to work was, and Justin explains that he had to say that. When she asks why, he says it was to buy time. She thinks it was cruel of him to allow her to think she was welcome; he thinks it was necessary. Would she rather he told Alice straight out? Lilian would rather he discussed it with her first. He retorts that offering Alice a phased return means they have time to do that. They have to be pragmatic about this, and have a strategy. To get rid of Alice? asks Lilian indignantly. Yes, for the good of The Stables Justin thinks they have to do that. Lilian wonders about the good of Alice: shouldn't that be part of their thinking? She is at her best working with horses, and being at The Stables is a key to her proper recovery. Justin enquires how risking the business helps her; they can't afford to play those odds. If they can persuade her to leave... Lilian says forbiddingly that he will not do that, and when he still wants to get her to leave of her own accord asks him what they do if she won't: actually sack her? He sees this as a last resort, and Lilian tells him firmly that he can't just sack her; he'd have to have proper grounds, evidence she'd mismanaged, and there really isn't anything. [How about habitual absence from work, absenteeism? Chris.] He is sure that is a matter of opinion; Lilian adds that he'd have to produce copies of official warnings, written warnings all dated. Have they got any of those things on record? Ha-ha, he knows full well they haven't, because there was no need for it: Alice manages this place and managed it well, and deserves a second chance. Justin explodes: a second chance? How many chances has she had already? Lilian informs him that he will not force Alice out: she knows her niece, and Alice won't back down. And Justin can't sack her, she tells him triumphantly, so he'd better get used to the idea: Alice will be coming back to work at The Stables, with or without his approval.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 6th August, 2024

Nothing reaches any resolution, at some considerable length and with Symbolism.

Characters: Alice, Alistair, Fallon, Harrison, John
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

A car door slams, and Alice greets Alistair and says it's a lovely evening; he is surprised to see her, but assumes she is back at The Stables. She says she will be and is easing her way in again. Justin and Lilian have been very supportive. When he says they will be work neighbours again, she admits she hasn't actually started again yet, not officially anyway, and Alistair tells her not to let him hold her up. She starts to go, talking about taking Martha for a walk in a bit, but then stops to tell him that she thought she ought to let him know that she saw someone hanging about earlier, outside the practice. It was no-one she knew, just hanging around, like he was waiting for someone.

Harrison and Fallon are out for a walk, talking about Emma's party and Ed's surprise for her, with Harrison remarking that Saturday Night Fever is not an eighties film and Fallon telling him not to tell Ed, who is actually quite good at his routine. They agree that it's good of Ed to try to cheer her up about turning forty. Having sausage rolls at the party seems to be significant. Fallon has made a cake in the shape of a chainsaw and got Freddie to do the music, which is to be from the eighties so they can dance to it. Also they are doing up the room with photos of Emma when she was little. Her cheerful chat is interrupted by Harrison exclaiming about the amount of litter (including tin cans, by the sound of him kicking at it) which Fallon reckons must have been chucked out of a car or something. Harrison kicks it to the side of the road, and Fallon exclaims in disgust that it includes yoghurt pots and all sorts. At the same as Harrison decides his perfunctory clear-up will do, Fallon is changing the subject to the chance of getting one of the 'outlets' at the charging station but is interrupted by them coming unexpectedly on Alice, who greets Harrison by name, then Fallon. Fallon says hello; Harrison is noticeably silent. Alice nervously explains she has to be there keeping an eye on Martha; they are playing hide and seek. Pointedly not addressing her, Harrison tells Fallon he thinks they should turn back, and Fallon explains to Alice that they are not really supposed to talk to her; Harrison, still to Fallon, suggests he will get the bags for the litter, and Alice tells her that she knows they're not but they can say hello, can't they? Fallon supposes so, and Alice tries to explain away her presence; Fallon asks how Martha is. She's in good spirits mostly, thank goodness; Fallon echoes the thank goodness. Harrison announces he is going to go now, and though Fallon asks him to wait, Alice thinks she should go too, so she does, saying that she is sorry about this, Alice, really sorry.

There is a clattering noise [which is probably a bicycle being unchained. Chris] and Alistair, approaching, asks if he can help someone he has quite failed to recognise [even though he has met John at least twice and there can't be all that many bicycling black men in Ambridge. Chris]. John immediately greets him by name and in a hostile voice. Alistair explains he was told there was someone hanging around, which affronts John, and didn't realise it was John. John crossly tells him he has come to see Paul, and is affronted again when Alistair mentions that Denise said he'd be doing that. Alistair reckons he should leave John to it, and John entrusts him with a message for Denise: John has seen their son and he's in a bad way. He's suffering, and it's because of Alistair. Alistair is surprised: 'me?' John wants to leave him in no doubt that he and Denise are to blame for Paul's neurotic behaviour [he didn't say that, but that is what it is. Chris], but Alistair is not sure that is right: he says it's not exactly down to them. Incredulously, John asks if he stands there and denies it, and Alistair retorts that yes, he does. While John angrily tries to engineer a confrontation, Alistair says that he knows he's responsible for a lot of things, but Paul's state of mind it not one of them. After some more aggression from John, in particular because Alistair starts to say it is ridiculous to suggest something, but we will never know what because John blows up about being called ridiculous, John shouts at Alistair to get out of his way and slams the gate off its hinges, as Alistair mildly points out. Alistair then puts it to him that either he takes a swing at Alistair, which he says he's not going to do though Alistair wouldn't blame him if he did, or he comes into the surgery and they can talk about it properly.

When she gets home Fallon tries again to talk to Harrison, asking him what his nastiness to Alice was about. He pretends not to know what she is talking about, and then says 'nothing', which she doesn't accept because she says his behaviour was embarrassing. She knows they are not supposed to communicate with Alice [I still don't see why Harrison is not allowed to: this court case has absolutely nothing to do with him and he cannot be a witness in it because he did not witness the accident. Chris] but he could say hello, couldn't he? He falls back on 'it's what the law says', and then makes it clear that rather than talk to her about it he is going litter-picking: is she coming? She doesn't think so. They might meet someone else they're not allowed to say hello to.

Alistair has poured a Scotch for John, who says he doesn't usually drink whisky but thanks him anyway. Neither man is sure sitting down together is a good idea, and Alistair says he hardly knows John, and yet he does, to which John replies that he has Denise's version of him,for what it's worth. Alistair comfortingly tells John that she is very fond of him, and, when John says that's nice, realises he's said something stupid and apologises. He is aware that the family, John, Denise and Paul, have a strong band and he really doesn't want to break that; they're close. John believes that still counts for something. Alistair agrees, and adds that the last thing he wants to do is upset John, or Paul, of whom he is very fond. He didn't mean it was ridiculous Paul being hurt, exactly, it's just that life will throw things at him and he might need to learn to cope with that.

When Fallon comes back into the room she is surprised to see Harrison still there, not off litter-picking; no, he says, he thought they were both going. Fallon reminds him that she never said she would; in that case he is sorry he jumped to that conclusion. Fallon asks if he is sorry, because he doesn't actually sound it. He claims that he honestly never meant to upset her, not about Alice nor about anything. She enquires whether he doesn't think he was wrong, but no, he doesn't. He thinks it is perfectly clear cut what they are supposed to do. Fallon says she knows what he thinks, and he tells her you don't have to be wrong to be sorry, so since she is getting nowhere against the wall of his deliberate incomprehension she goes back to what they were talking about before they ran into Alice, which he guesses means the litter until she tells him it was about the EV charging station. He clearly has no idea what she is talking about, and she patiently reminds him they were talking about her maybe starting up in one of the 'outlets'. His 'oh yeah?' is questioning, so she further reminds him that she said she'd been thinking and he'd said ... 'that it sounded ominous', he recollects, adding that it was a joke; she knew that, and now wants to know what he actually thinks. She couldn't do it without his support, financially, he knows that. He agrees that he does, and she reminds him that is like her supporting him when he wanted to go part time. He says that he knows that too, and she sighs and comments that well, they have been here before, like when she wanted to grow the upcycling business and he was worried about the money. He says he doesn't need reminding. No? asks Fallon. Then what does he think? Should she risk it? He thinks that it's up to her, and is utterly unhelpful about answering any further questions. She resignedly reckons that saying it is up to her is another way of saying he is not bothered either way.

The next time John starts to get his bicycle he pauses to say that it doesn't feel as if they have resolve a lot; Alistair agrees but adds they weren't likely to, were they, and John supposes not. He's not planning to see Paul again before he heads off: they said their goodbyes and as far as Paul knows he is already on his way home. Alistair mentions that Denise advised him to keep out of the way, keep his head down, but he wasn't keen on doing that when he saw John. John asks in surprise if she thought he would go for Alistair, when that was never his intention. Much as he wanted to, he adds drily. Alistair mentions that he did take a pop at the gate, though, and John says firmly that he slammed it, that's all. The he pauses and says that before he goes, there's something he has to ask: is Alistair really serious about Denise? Alistair immediately says yes, but John tells him to think about it properly, because if he is and the break-up is really happening, nothing John can do about it, then that's going to be devastating. It's madness him telling Alistair this, Alistair of all people, but he's scared. He'll have to start his life all over again from nothing, and alone, which really does scare him. He knows he got it all wrong, but if Alistair really means it well so be it. If not, if Alistair is not completely sure, then he will fight to save his marriage. Slowly, Alistair repeats that he is perfectly serious, and very sure. John thought so. Alistair says that he loves her; he did try not to, but it was hopeless. Drearily John says there is nothing more to be said, then, and changes the subject. This gate, it's on drop hinges. They can just lift it back on. They could fix it. 'You lift that end,' he says.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 7th August, 2024

Emma shies away from the truth at first, but is later goaded into it.

Characters: George, Will, Alice, Chris, Emma, Fallon
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Personal delivery of Will and George's present to Emma at Little Grange is thwarted by her not being at home. George bought the present at the craft market in Borchester: it's a hand painted tray, and Will thinks it's great. It has little squirrels running around the edge, which he says is 'very Emma'. When it becomes clear that she is not in, he wonders where she is.

In conversation with Chris at his flat, Alice says she saw Alistair yesterday and he didn't seem to mind talking to her [even though unlike Harrison he is probably an actual witness at her trial. Chris]. Chris asks if he mentioned the court case, but no: it was just a fairly normal conversation; he didn't talk about the accident and she didn't talk about Denise. There are other things to talk about, like her starting back at work, and her seeing a man hanging around the vets', which was a bit odd: probably innocent enough but you never know. Chris wants to press on because he has to be back at work by half-three. Alice agrees: about the court case, then. Chris asks what they are doing about character references, which can help but are only referred to at the end of the trial, and the people who give them can be cross-examined by the prosecution. [In practice this doesn't happen, since they are read after the verdict has been reached and are relevant only for sentencing. Chris.] Some people might not be up for that. Alice wonders if they are going to find anyone to speak up for her, but Chris reassures her that of course they are. When someone knocks at the door he calls 'come in, it's open' and is then surprised it is Emma, who asks him if she can come in for a minute before he tells her that Alice is there too. She is sorry: she didn't know. Alice wishes her a happy birthday, as does Chris, who then asks if she is all right. He thinks she looks a bit wrung out, and she sounds very subdued. Alice suggests that maybe she should go, if Emma wants a private word; she and Chris can talk later. Emma tells her not to go because it was Alice she came about anyway. Chris invites her to sit down and then prompts her: she wants to talk to Alice? Yes; she was going to talk to him first, but as Alice is here... Concerned, Alice asks her what is the matter, and she says 'nothing' and then, with long pauses, she just, um, she's been thinking about Alice, what she's been going through and everything, and she's been so horrible about it; she struggles to get it out, but manages to say tearfully that she's sorry. After a pause, Chris incredulously repeats 'to say sorry?' Emma says she has been so unfair, and Chris wonders aloud what has brought this on. Well, like she said, she's been thinking about it, and she woke up the other night and it just came to her how she never gave Alice a chance. Alice says she can't really blame her, because Alice did some pretty unforgivable things. Emma says she never tried to understand [oh yeah? See 16th September, 2021; that was written by Nick Warburton too. Chris] and it must have been really hard for Alice, for both of them, and Emma has made it worse. So she wondered, with the court case coming up, is there anything she can do to help?

Fallon is getting on with preparations for the party when Will rings and tells her Emma wasn't in and he doesn't know where she is. Fallon is worried: they have to know. Has he called her? She's not answering, Will says. He's going to give Tracy a bell, and he tells Fallon they'll find Emma, not to worry. She gives him a quick rundown on what is ready, and he checks there will be sausage rolls. All they need now is Emma. [And they don't need her for another three hours and more: the party starts at 6:30pm. and Chris had to go out to get somewhere at 3:30, so what is all the hoo-ha about? Chris.]

Chris is telling Alice that basically a lot will depend on her first statement to the police: the prosecution will focus on that, because she didn't deny doing it. She says that the truth was, she couldn't remember what happened, so that was all she could say. Chris is sure that if she does start to remember things, that could really help, though Alice knows that will depend on what she remembers. Emma murmurs that it's so complicated, the court and everything: she had no idea. Alice tells her Chris has spent hours going over it all, and he says he can't do any more now: he's got to be in Brampton Green by half past. Emma has to be going too, but wants to know about these character witnesses; Alice explains that means people she's worked with, friends, that sort of thing. Emma volunteers that she could be one of them. Chris is startled, and she says that she does want to help, if she can. Alice is unsure, and Emma makes the point that it might even be better, coming from her, because they haven't got on in the past: she's not a mate who'll just say whatever Alice wants, she can be honest. Chris starts to say he's not sure, and Emma interrupts: because of what she's said before? Yes, but that's the point. If they ask about that she can say yes, that's true, she did say all that, but she does know Alice is a good person and a truthful one. It might help. Stunned, Alice thanks her and says it's a really kind offer. Chris feels they should give it some thought, and so should Emma. Alice warns her they might want to cross-examine her: would she be all right with that? It could be a bit intimidating. Emma thinks she would be all right, and then says she had better go. Chris repeats they will think about it, and she must too, and then they'll decide. Enjoy the rest of her birthday! He'll see her at... he'll see her later. As he rushes off Alice tells Emma it's so good of her, what she's prepared to do; Emma mutters that it's not, and when Alice adds that most of the people round here hate her, Emma says that honestly, Alice, she's not being good, and like she said, she owes her.

It's six o'clock and Emma still isn't at Little Grange; George is beginning to panic. Will tells him soothingly that he is to wait there in case she comes back, while Will goes over the yard to see if Clarrie knows anything. Just as he's leaving Emma comes in, and asks what George and Will are doing there: she is not pleased that they've let themselves in and made themselves at home. She has been for a walk alone down by the river, and has to be reminded to open her present, and when she has done so her thanks are perfunctory even though Will talks it up. When Will says he'd better be off, she asks if he has somewhere to be and has to be reminded that they all have: The Bull for her birthday meal. She seems not to want George to take her over there, but Will tells her that being escorted there by her son is part of it, and goes. After the door closes she tells George she doesn't want to go, she can't face them; when he argues, she asks whether she should tell them why she doesn't want to go, is that what he wants? Sounding a little desperate he breaks it to her that they're not just booked in for a family meal: there's a party, a surprise party, upstairs, and loads of people are going to be there. She tells him he will have to make an excuse. He cries out that she's got to be there, because if she's not the guests will all start asking questions and they can't deal with that, they can't afford questions. She has to be there, and she has to look like she's enjoying it, he says fiercely.

Fallon calls for silence Upstairs at The Bull, and then a chorus of Happy Birthday when Emma comes in with George. Emma manages to pretend to surprise and pleasure quite credibly, mock-blaming people for not having told her, but is more convincing when it is Chris than when it is George. To cheers, Fallon joyfully calls out that they are all there: let the party begin! Will tells them to hang on, because there is someone else who wants to say 'happy birthday', and Fallon announces a special guest appearance by Mr John Travolta.

Later on, George finds Emma sitting outside; she refuses to go back in and, when he tells her that she must or people will start to wonder, says they will just have to wonder. He orders her to try, but she is saved by Will also coming to look for her; he has brought George a pint in his 'hero' glass, which Kenton and Jolene got replaced. He praises the moves Ed was making, and then leading Emma in the dance; she agrees, but in a lacklustre way. George mentions that he has been telling her she should go back in and enjoy the party, and she sharply thanks him and says she'll go back in when she's ready, and tells him to get back in there himself, go on, leave her alone! George reluctantly does as he is told, commanding her to remember what he said. Will can tell from her tone that she's at the end of her tether, and asks what that was all about; when she says he knows what George is like he says 'not him, you,' and tells her that was uncalled-for. The poor lad's been doing his best... She repeats the words 'his best', then says if only Will knew. She tries to back down when Will asks 'knew what?' and then starts to weep and tells him she can't say. He wants to know what all this is about, and, even when told that he honestly doesn't want to know, he persists in asking her to tell him, until she says all right, she will. It's too much for her to handle on her own, and maybe Will ought to know what George has done.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 8th August, 2024

Harrison admits to error, plus it's a Roy Tucker/Ian Pepperell Memorial Episode.

Characters: Fallon, Harrison, Alistair, Kirsty, Kate,
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Fallon and Harrison are discussing the aftermath of the party. Emma had to leave early, and Harrison was under the impression that meant they failed to cheer her up, but Fallon believed her excuse that she was unwell. Fallon now has go and clear up The Bull after the party, which spoils Harrison's plan to drive over to Malvern since they both have the day off. He doesn't argue much, simply says all right and stays where he is while she goes to get on with this chore, muttering 'you go your way and I'll go mine' as she shuts the door. After a pause, he rings Alistair and arranges to see him at lunchtime, half-twelveish, about the under-16s coaching; he might have a bit more time on his hands than he thought when he failed to express interest. It might help to take his mind off (unspecified) things.

An appointment to see Kate this morning has slipped Kirsty's mind, and as Kate arrives to see her she is off to move the electric fencing for the longhorns because Tony is busy harvesting. Kate suggests coming with her, and they could multi-task: talk about arranging for cold-weather yoga classes whilst moving fences. Kate likes the longhorns, which she describes as 'contented creatures'. Tony has told her that in bad weather they would rather be outside in woods than inside in barns, which she thinks is 'so humble of them'. As they go, Kate asks after Roy and Lexi, and Kirsty says she heard from Roy recently and he is doing well, trying to learn the language and hoping to get a job helping out at a restaurant once his permits are sorted. It is a little strange living in his house without him there, and she keeps expecting him to walk in. Mike and the family are going over in a week or two to see him. He's asked her if they can take something over for him, a framed aerial photo of Ambridge, and the trouble is she can't find it and it's not where Roy said it was. Kate offers to find it for her: she can very often sense where things are. It's a particular skill. And anyway, she'd like to do something for Roy.

Harrison says that he will be able to act as safeguarding officer for the whole camp, and Alistair practically falls on his neck with relief, calling him a hero. Harrison disclaims, saying that he is already one for the club and he has all the specific safeguarding training so it makes sense. So long as he can be hands-on with the coaching they're good to go. Alistair says ruefully that some things are more easily sorted than others: he ran into John, Denise's husband, the other day. It was a bit awkward. Alistair was all ready to throw him off the premises because he didn't realise it was him. Harrison asks what happened, and Alistair admits that nothing did, only adding as an afterthought that John slammed the gate off its hinges, but in the end it was perfectly civilised exchange of views. No fight. Alistair felt really sorry for him; it must be painful for him. Harrison mutters about things not just being painful for John, and given a massive hint like that Alistair asks how things are with Fallon. Harrison indicates they aren't great and he keeps putting his foot in it. Like this morning, when they had planned to go for a drive together because their days off coincided only then she suddenly had to go and clear up The Bull after the party. Alistair is taken aback: and that's it? That's what Harrison wanted taking his mind off? Harrison feels she was making a point: they had this argument the other day, well, more of a disagreement really, and he tried to say what he thought and that wasn't right, so he tried being non-committal and not expressing an opinion either way, and it turns out that's not right either. Alistair can't believe it: so not what you'd call a major bust up? Harrison has to admit it wasn't: something or nothing, he supposes. But mostly nothing, is Alistair's verdict; what he'd give to be in Harrison's shoes! Harrison grunts in surprise and Alistair explains: he loves her, doesn't he? Harrison agrees that he does. And he can be with her, every day? Again Harrison agrees. Then what has Harrison got to moan about? He's a pretty lucky bloke, if you ask Alistair.

As Kate and Kirsty go through Roy's belongings looking for the picture that he asked for, they sing his praises and reminisce about his past in the village. Having found his 'not to be thrown away box' they come across the Aston Villa shirts he wore to watch the Villa on telly (sometimes changing into a different one at half time), and a Stephen King paperback over which he may have bonded with Lexi (which Kate suggests should be sent to him with the picture). The picture is not in the box, so they move on to the box-room.

When Fallon gets home she finds Harrison waiting for her wanting to talk about the EV charging station. She is reluctant to go into that again just then, but, as she is saying that she's said what she has to say, he quickly tells her he was wrong. In fact he is sorry and wrong, both. She wants to know, wrong about what? He eagerly says that him having said that taking over one of the 'outlets' was up to her, she was to decide, not his problem, but it is, it is his problem, their problem, except it's not really a problem... Fallon has started to laugh, and says she can't keep up with this, but Harrison hasn't finished: he thinks she should go for it, they should go for it, and as she delightedly exclaims 'you do?' says she goes for it and he'll be right behind her. She wants to know why, which he wilfully misunderstands and answers by saying that she knows more about it than he does, but that is not what she was asking: why now? The last time they talked about it... Because he loves her, he says solemnly, and he thinks it could make her happy. She's confused: but what about affording it? He suggests that he could go back full time, and that would help; Fallon wishes she'd never said that about making sacrifices. He says it wouldn't be because of paying her back: love doesn't keep count like that; but it might work out and make her happy and that's what he wants. She wonders where all this has come from, and he tells her he had a word with a mate who put him straight. And to show him how grateful he was Harrison said he'd help with the under-16s club [that is not the order it happened in, you horrible little liar... Chris]; Fallon bursts out laughing again, and when he says he knows he's a mug agrees with him whole-heartedly.

Kate has found Phoebe's silver cup from her naming ceremony on Lakey Hill. She thought Roy wasn't coming [because she had forbidden him to and changed her mind at the last moment. Chris] even though all the grandparents were, and at the last moment he turned up with the cup. Kirsty remarks that he always turns up for Phoebe, and in a rare moment of self-knowledge Kate realises you can't say that about her and she could learn something from Roy about that. Kirsty [instead of murmuring 'so true' and leaving it at that. Chris] reassures her that she has always cared about Phoebe, though she does add 'in your own way'; Kate thinks her daughter is lucky to have Roy for a father. Kirsty says he has a way with him, Our Roy, and Kate adds 'just ask Elizabeth'; the pair laugh about the various women they know he had sex with, Kate, Elizabeth and Hayley, and how disparate they are. They then have a further laugh about his on line date Layla and longhorns destroying her tent. Kate is sure the longhorns saved him from a dangerously controlling relationship, though Kirsty liked Layla. They go back to riffling through Roy's possessions: birthday cards, panto scripts; Kirsty says he is some actor, with Kate adding 'and a good man' [but enough about Ian Pepperell; can we get back to The Archers please? Chris]. He was good to Kirsty over Philip. Kate sees his old jacket on the back of his door, and they start to plan to go and see him one day, and Kate thinks she might put his jacket on, but Kirsty has spotted something on the back of the door: it's the photograph they have been looking for. Kirsty remembers why he said he likes it so much: you can see him on it, when he wore that old yellow hat, which Kate describes as 'a terrible old cap'. Kirsty finds the yellow dot just outside The Bull. Kate softly says 'Roy Tucker, at the heart of the village.' [like a burrowing worm. Sparrer.]

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 9th August, 2024

Lilian is not above a bit of poaching, and George is desperately stupid.

Characters: Emma, Will, George, Joy, Lilian, Lynda, Kirsty
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Having had a day to think things over, Emma feels she and Will have said all there is to say; Will agrees they talked and talked but didn't decide what to do. She just thinks they don't have a lot of choice, but Will reckons that his experience is that when Nic hit Matt Crawford by accident it was a mistake, an innocent mistake; Emma says that's not the same, though. Will and Nic did nothing, he argues, they didn't go to the police, and in the end it all went away, and when Nic died her name was still in the clear and that was only right. Emma can hardly believe it: so he's saying they do nothing? He thinks they should wait and see, but she is sure that's really not going to work. He points out that it did before, but Emma knows this is totally different. Will stubbornly insists that it did, though; Emma can't believe he doesn't see the difference. His assertion that things do get forgotten is countered by her saying that Alice could end up in prison when she hasn't done anything. Can they stand by and let that happen? He wants to know what they do: are they to shop their boy? She feels that George has got to go to the police. Will doesn't believe that he'll do that, even when Emma says it will be better for him if he does: he tells her George is already mad at her for having told his father. This shocks her: George is living on lies, and that can't last; the longer it goes on the worse it's going to get for him. She hates the idea of what might happen to him, it makes her feel sick to think about it, she's his mum, but honestly there isn't any other way. They have to persuade him to go to the police.

It is slightly embarrassing for Joy when she encounters Lilian 'giving Ruby a trot out' (as Joy puts it), but the real frost from Lilian is reserved for Lynda, whom she greets in a most unfriendly way. Lynda, in equally icy tones, explains they were on their way to see Kirsty, but when Lilian shows no sign of thaw, Joy tells her they are so sorry about the date clash and they just didn't realise. Lynda at her most up-herself says they were about to ask Kirsty about her meeting with Lilian but can now ask Lilian herself about her response to their offer of a combined attraction. After some verbal fencing, during which Lynda makes an attempt to claim the credit for the idea but Joy 'obliviously' makes it clear she was the one who thought of it, Lilian (after saying she thought Kirsty was going to tell them and she wouldn't want to steal Kirsty's thunder) says that she thought it was a splendid idea. Lilian then says that of course there are details to work out, such as fares, pick-up points, routes, staffing, insurance... Lynda picks up on routes, wondering what possible route there is apart from a straight line from the village green to The Stables, which Joy agrees about, and Lilian takes pleasure in suggesting 'the scenic route'. Whilst Lynda tries hard to veto the idea, Joy enlarges on it: pick-up outside The Bull, head north up the green and then round by Hollowtree. Lynda argues against it on the grounds that this will mean people spend less time at either event, and that it will never work, but is over-ruled. Lilian asks them to give her regards to Kirsty when they see her, and thank her for her horse and cart suggestion. She tells Lilian she's been sorting out things to send to Roy, mementoes, photos, things like that. Joy thinks that's lovely; Lynda sententiously speaks of 'memories of Ambridge', and Joy has the last word on the subject, saying he will know they all miss him.

Emma and Will can see no way out of this except going to the police, but Will is unsure George will see it that way. Just as he says this George comes in and asks if they are talking about him again; Emma says that of course they are: what else does he think they are going to be talking about? George starts to be accusing: he hopes Emma knows what she's gone and done. Will tells him not to start on his mum, who was right to tell him, and George starts to rant about telling everyone, spreading the word. Emma points out that it was going to get out anyway, which doesn't help. George is in a thoroughly nasty mood and very angry with her, but Emma insists that he must listen to her: they have to think, and talk about what to do. George's reaction is to say 'no thanks'. He's sick of talking, he's sick of even thinking about it. Will tells him sternly that he can't turn his back: some things have got to be done. Emma argues that it's bad now (with which George sarcastically agrees) but at least he's got some control. George can't believe he is hearing this: she is joking him when she says it's in his hands. He's got nothing! No, Emma tells him, he's got one chance. Go to the police. Tell them what happened. Before someone else does.

As is usual, Lynda is trying to take over running the committee by saying that what she thinks is the most pressing matter facing them is litter. Kirsty gives her a bit of fulsome praise for taking on this unglamorous task so readily, which Joy happily supports, and then asks for her action plan. It swiftly becomes clear that Lynda's plan is to coordinate the litter-picking while doing none of it herself. She suggests Kirsty as the person to do the work. In spite of Kirsty's objections this is supported by Joy, who then feels they must move on to shuttle plans.

Emma coming out of the shop meets Alice going in, and asks if there have been any more developments in the court case: no, nothing, and Alice is trying not to think too much about it. That way she might remember something herself. But no luck so far. She starts back at work next week, and that might help. Then she says she was thinking about George, which puts Emma on the alert, but all she wants to say is that she knows it might not be easy for him in court, reliving what happened, but she is really grateful for him trying. Emma assures her that he's happy to help. Alice hopes maybe doing that will jog his memory, maybe he'll remember seeing someone there or something. Emma, increasingly embarrassed, says she will tell him but has to get going. Alice is not to worry, George will do what he can for her, Emma knows he will.

Kirsty has gone to report to Lilian about the brewery dray shuttle: the fête committee have reached no conclusion, having got bogged down with practicalities. Lilian laughs: don't tell her, routes. Kirsty says yes, where the pick-up and drop-off points should be; they can't agree. And she's been lumbered with litter-picking. Lynda suggested it and she found she couldn't say no. Lilian thinks it's absurd, and says she should tell them she's changed her mind, but Kirsty can't do that: she promised. Lilian says they are taking advantage, and she would be better off at the stables event. There are some details still to be confirmed: for instance, there might be room in the yard for a rewilding stall, if they can find someone to run it. Far be it from Lilian to lure her away from litter-picking, but she'll just leave Kirsty to think about it.

Shaken, Emma tells George that she thought Alice might know something and be testing her; he is also worried and hopes that she doesn't does she? Emma doesn't think so, and he at once says there is nothing to worry about, then, but Will says that's just it though, she could easily have remembered something. Emma backs Will up, but George just retorts that he could deny it: there's no proof. Emma feels strongly that would be piling one lie on another. and George says 'like that matters' contemptuously; Will tells him it will matter if he's caught, and George furiously claims he is not going to get caught. He knows that. As long as they don't tell anyone else. Emma reminds him that it's not just down to her: she thought Alice was remembering something, remembering seeing someone. This gives George a 'brilliant' idea: what if he saw someone else there? Will asks scornfully who would be around by the bridge that time of night, and George replies that anyone could have been, while Emma tells him that he'd just be digging himself in deeper. George reckons this could work: what about that bloke she was knocking around with, Harry? Emma says 'No!' but George insists, yes, because Chris told them he was a waste of space, and how the Aldridges blame him for getting Alice back on the drink. He was dead suss about Harry, wasn't he. Will wants him to hang on, but George isn't going to do that: what if he says it was Harry, he saw him running away from the scene? He doesn't even have to say his name, just a bloke that looks like him, give a description and let them work it out for themselves, and it saves both of them: they'll be all over that Harry, and George and Alice are both off the hook.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 11th August, 2024

Lynda cannot let go of the reins, and George rushes upon his doom.

Characters: David, Lynda, Ruth, Will, Emma, George, Kate, Azra
Credited scriptwriter:
Avin Shah
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Lynda has rung David while he and Ruth are having breakfast; he puts her on speaker phone. Her purpose is to coerce them into taking a stall at the fête on 25th August, though she starts by asking if they will be at the event – to which of course the answer is yes. Ruth tactlessly says that she thought Joy was organising it this year, and also claims they haven't had a moment to think about it. They also have a big wedding in the barn on the Thursday that week, and Ruth doesn't think they will have the time to commit to running a stall. Lynda, as usual, refuses to take no for and answer and talks about Casey Meats being involved, and when David foolishly asks if they can have a think about it, says she will tell Joy to hold them a spot and they can update her with their plans.

It's no use, Emma, Will has been racking his brains all weekend and can't think of another solution: maybe they should think about it. [In spite of the failure of this process so far. Chris.] Emma is utterly opposed to George saying he saw someone when he didn't. Will argues that George is only nineteen and this could completely ruin his life; Emma is sure that another lie is not the answer. and will just make things worse. The best plan, according to her, is for George to tell the truth and face up to it. Everything in her is screaming out how wrong it all is; she came this close to telling Ed this morning. Inevitably, George overhears her saying this as he walks in, and has a hissy-fit about the idea of her telling Ed, since he is convinced that Ed will shop him without thinking twice. Emma tells him that he cannot point the finger at an innocent man, and his response to that is that Alice is innocent too, and it's one or the other so it could just as well be Harry. Emma sees the flaw in this: no, it couldn't, because it's George. She implores him not to make this any worse. Framing someone innocent is an absolutely awful thing to do, not to mention the fact that he'll be committing perjury. He made a mistake, and he can't change that, but he can make it right. George absolutely refuses, and anyway he's worked out what he's going to say. Emma knows it is still wrong; Will however shows interest in the idea of not exactly framing Harry, just putting his name into the mix so the police investigate him: it could buy them some time. [Time for what, exactly? Chris.] [Change his name and flee to Costa Rica? Sparrer.] George greets this as vindication, but Emma asks Will why they are even discussing this: he must see that this is completely mad, and tells him not to encourage George. She can't think what's got into both of them and she can't sit there and agree to all this madness: she is going home. She'll see Will later, once he's knocked some sense into George's head. She opens the door, making Kate, who was putting a leaflet for camping at Spiritual Home through Will's door, jump. Emma tries to get away, but George seizes his opportunity, saying he is glad Kate's there: there's something he needs to tell her.

Lynda has gone to new person to make her do something she was not planning; this time it is Azra, who has got a skip into which she is throwing garden furniture, which she describes as old junk which Julie and Andy left in the shed and which she has been meaning to clear out all summer. She is also doing some decorating, and would get rid of the fitted carpets, which still smell of dogs, if the landlord would let her. Since Azra is obviously busy, Lynda thinks this a good day for her to go and tidy up Adil's allotment in the Lower Loxley Hall grounds: it is becoming somewhat overgrown. Robert has been tidying up the edges and keeping an eye on it, but Lynda wants to go there with her so Azra can assess the task in hand. She tells Azra she will meet her there in an hour.

The cock-and-bull story about Harry has now been told by George to Kate, who seems to have swallowed it. George makes it clear that he is not a hundred per cent sure who it was, with Emma pointing out to him that it was too dark to identify anyone, but George reckons it looked a lot like Harry. Kate didn't know he'd met Harry, but George swiftly invents having seen his photo on line on an equestrian website, though when she asks why he didn't mention this before, he isn't so glib: he doesn't know, he must have just forgot. Kate is slightly sceptical: how can you forget something like that? Will breaks in to excuse him: it does sound like it was pretty hectic that night, and George, relieved, goes along with that. Emma adds that he's had such a lot on his mind [what, for more than three months? Chris], and Kate accepts this reason, saying she doesn't mean to sound like she's interrogating him. It's just come out of the blue, that's all. She realises that this may have a major impact on Alice's case and voices the thought, adding that he should update his witness statement as soon as possible. George asks if she couldn't just tell Alice or her solicitor, but Kate veers into speculation about why Harry hasn't come forward and what he is hiding. She will drop a text to Alice's solicitor now while George goes to the police station. George tries to wriggle out of it: what if he's wrong? It might just have been someone out jogging. Will says he thinks that the most likely explanation, but Kate doesn't: why would someone be out for a run, all the way out by the bridge [ie not in the middle of the village. Chris], at that time of night? George catches hold of that: that is what he thought at first, seeing a jogger was a bit odd, before he got all mixed up with the rescue and everything, and then when he heard Uncle Chris was trying to help Alice remember, that's when he remembered. He reckons that's why it came back to him, because it was so weird. That he looked a bit like Harry, George means. Emma suggests that she and Will could take him to the police station, and he could tell them what he actually saw, and Kate supports her: that's the best thing to do. She thanks George for telling her this: it makes perfect sense, and she never trusted Harry.

A cow called 'Brookfield High Heels' is in competition with her for David's affections, according to Ruth. Ruth has been hoping to avoid the fête this year, but David feels they could really do with promoting the farm and the events barn, though he agrees not to take an animal. He thinks of doing their own stall, featuring family meals on a budget, but Ruth reckons Vince would kill them and suggests showcasing the dairy side of things instead.

Lynda is selling Azra the idea of looking after Adil's allotment, saying that weeding can be very satisfying, bringing order to chaos. Azra proves somewhat resistant, not having planted anything since Adil left [in January. Chris], but is told that at least she now knows everything there has to be uprooted. Lynda then discovers two rows of garlic hiding under all the growth; the bulbs look perfect. When Azra offers to harvest them Lynda begs her not to: she ought to save them for the Flower and Produce Show: she must enter them! Azra is not bothered about any of that; can't she just knock up a garlic bread? Lynda asks what happens if they win a prize; imagine how happy Adil will be when she tells him.

Will and Emma are waiting in the car outside the police station, where George has been for nearly an hour. They are not happy about it, Emma because they are giving George the wrong message by being there for him at all and Will because they had no choice about it once George had told his story to Kate. They would both rather this wasn't happening; rather desperately, Will says that George knows this isn't what they wanted and he kind of tricked them into it, so it's on him. A distressed George approaches the car and gets in, and when Emma asks if he is OK tells her that it's all gone wrong, it's all messed up. She demands details, but he doesn't know what to do and wails that this can't be happening. In alarm she wants to know what is, and he reveals that Harry wasn't there and it can't have been him. The police had already checked and he's got an alibi, cast iron. One copper was reading George's statement back to him, checking that he was agreeing with what it said, and then the other one came back in the room and said that Harry was in rehab that night. It all checks out. Emma exclaims that the whole thing wasn't right from the start, now look at them! Will says that it means they're right back at square one, doesn't it, and George moans 'no' in accents of despair.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 12th August, 2024

Gut gripes (Amir), arm-twisting (Lynda) and bellyaching (Justin).

Characters: Lilian, Justin, Alice, Azra, Lynda, Alistair
Credited scriptwriter:
Avin Shah
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Lilian has noticed that Alice has been given all the grunt-work at The Stables this week, and none of the managerial jobs, and rightly (as it turns out) suspects this was Justin's doing. His justification for this is that though they are paying two managers' salaries they don't need two managers. When Alice comes over to find out what they want her to do for the Cantering On event, marketing-wise [sic. Chris], Lilian tells her she has commissioned George Grundy to make some publicity videos later in the week, and Alice, assuming she will be involved talking to clients at the event itself, offers to present one; Justin temporises, saying they'll see and she should leave it with them. Lilian tells him that George suggested making one with Justin on horseback in fancy dress; he is horrified, and Alice suggests that if a horse and dray is running between The Stables and the fête he could be on that in costume. Lilian applauds the suggestion; Justin does not. Sensing disagreement about to break out, Alice goes away to clean the staff and visitor toilets.

Azra has called on Lynda on her way to the surgery, bringing with her some cauliflower peas and some mashed aubergine as a thank-you to Lynda and Robert for their help with the allotment. Lynda thanks her and says she didn't need to cook them specially, but in fact they were from the freezer, being Azra's left-overs. Lynda graciously glosses over this somewhat tactless explanation, and asks whether she heard back from Adil about entering his miracle garlic in the Flower and Produce Show? Oh yes. She sent him one photo, from his beloved allotment, and she woke up to about fifty texts;she usually has to message a dozen times before he answers. Apparently he did plant it, in January, choosing each clove to plant with utmost care. Azra now wishes she hadn't told him, because he wants her to send him a video from the show and all she said was she was thinking about entering them, not that she would be going. Using this as a springboard, Lynda tries to talk her into going so she doesn't disappoint her brother, but Azra just says that it isn't really her and all this country life and events stuff is not really her thing. When Lynda suggests joining them at the fête as a rehearsal for the F&P, Azra is pretty sure she's busy that weekend, and, when Lynda assumes she is going to Cantering On instead, says that she has never even heard of it. Lynda claims to have been joking, then offers Azra the treat of spending time on a stall; Azra says she has to go or she will be late for the surgery, and leaves.

Lilian is now trying to undermine Justin by getting Alice to admit to not being all right with being assigned all the yard duties, but Alice is fine about it. Even when Lilian says she has noticed the new rota doesn't have her down to take any lessons, Alice says it makes sense to have someone dedicated to cleaning and tidying before the event, when they will be showing people round. Lilian goes away to get on with whatever it is she actually does at The Stables, and Alice moves on to Amir's stall, which she is going to muck out, and starts talking to 'Justin's pride and joy'. He doesn't look like a happy boy and she realises something is actually wrong, so she calls Lilian back to take a look at him: he's sweating a bit and he's been scraping his hoof all morning, and is also looking at his stomach. Also there is no dung in the box. Alice suggests that it could be a touch of colic and that they should call someone. Lilian goes to let Justin know while Alice finds her phone and rings Alistair. When she tells him Amir's symptoms Alistair agrees it sounds like colic, but gives her the unwelcome news that Jakob is on calls all day and he is with another patient; still, he will pop over when he's finished. If it is colic, it's best treated sooner rather than later. Alice suggests she could take Amir outside and walk him a little, an idea Alistair approves.

Azra has changed her mind about the F&P, and come during her lunch-break and on her way to the Bridge Farm shop to tell Lynda that her comments about Adil and his excitement made her see that she must attend it. Lynda at once uses this as a lever to get her to the fête as well, which she is prepared for, and manning a stall, which she is not. She clearly does not in the least want to help out on the produce exchange stall, claiming that she is no use at socialising and small talk, and when Lynda says she is a GP and must see dozens of people on a daily basis says that is different, and is a transaction and on her terms; sure, there's some chat, but patients have a proper reason to be there and she's on safe territory. Lynda retreats, regroups and suggests she could help out on the second-hand book stall where she can just sit and read a book because it is generally quiet. It would only be to relieve someone else for a couple of hours so they can have a decent break. Azra realises she is just going to have to bite the bullet, and tells Lynda to put her on whichever stall Lynda thinks suits her best. Lynda crows triumphantly, and thanks her, saying she is so pleased, and who knows? Azra might even enjoy herself.

Alistair confirms the diagnosis of colic, congratulates Alice on having spotted it early, physically sorts out the impaction (a lump of feed blocking the system) and reckons that, now they've got rid of that, the animal should be OK to relieve himself. Alice is to encourage him to eat some grass, and exercise on the lunge rein; Alistair advises her that if that fails, sticking him in a horse box and driving him round Ambridge for twenty minutes might do the trick; this is a new one on Alice. He also advises adding some extra water to Amir's feed. He then tells her it was a good spot, and if she hadn't flagged it up Amir could have been in quite a bit of pain.

Justin never thought he would be relieved to see a big pile of horse muck, but has no intention of praising Alice for her sensible action about Amir being obviously uncomfortable, just saying that looking after the horses is what they pay her for. Lilian feels it would be no effort to go up to her and express a bit of gratitude, to which his response is that we don't thank a traffic warden for successfully handing out parking ticket so why thank Alice for doing her job, but when Lilian starts to get cross he capitulates, saying 'all right' in a resigned tone. Lilian, with that edge back in her voice, asks if he has given any more thought to Alice's rôle on Cantering On, and he says no, because she doesn't have one. Lilian reminds him that this event was Alice's idea and she is the marketing whizz around here, to which Justin's reply is that in that case, Alice should know better than anyone that it could be disastrous publicity for The Stables if she goes around chatting to potential clients. Lilian says how about a video for the website, and Justin asks what sort of video that would be: apparently Alice mentioned she could do a taster for one of the beginners' classes they are offering on the day, for instance how to tack up a pony, to get to potential young clients. Justin heaves a long-suffering sigh and says that he can't agree; they can't have her face associated with The Stables at all right now. Lilian likewise sighs, probably in her case with exasperation. Justin adds that a series of how-to videos might not be a bad idea, only streaming sites are full of them. Lilian now tries to explain: what she is trying to say is that Alice came out of rehab only two weeks ago and she's trying her hardest to fit back in. One could argue they have presented her with a rather lousy version of a phased return, but instead she's thrown herself into the work. Justin is of the opinion they should be pleased by that, but Lilian feels that as Justin himself said, they are paying two salaries, so wouldn't it make sense to get Alice doing something more suited to her status and experience so that they can gently move her back into her old job as they ease Carlotta out? Justin wants to know who said anything about easing Carlotta out? Only the criminal justice system will know if Alice has a future at The Stables, and they mustn't be short-sighted. Lilian is fully aware Alice is waiting on her court case, and what that could mean, but she doesn't think they should be holding it over her like the sword of Damocles. Until the law takes its course, Lilian thinks they need to keep their commitment to Alice as a valued worker, not least because it's important for the morale of the whole team; and any verdict could be a long time away. Precisely, retorts Justin, and if it goes the wrong way, which is where he would put his money, Alice may well end up in prison. How does Lilian suppose that will affect team morale? That is why they should not be reinstating Alice as manager any time soon.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 13th August, 2024

Various parties find socialising can have unwanted consequences.

Characters: Emma, Kate, Paul, Ben, Kieron, Lily
Credited scriptwriter:
Avin Shah
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Drumming up custom for her camping for children at Spiritual Home, Kate has rung Emma while she is at work in the tea room in order to invite her and Poppy to come and join Kate and Martha for the night, as a trial of the idea. [Always get things in the right order: advertise something, and only after that check the viability of the thing advertised. That's the way to do it. Chris.] This is as a thank-you to Emma for trying to help Alice, on Sunday, about George amending his statement. Emma is aware that it didn't do any good, but Kate thinks it was very sweet of Emma and Will to take George to the police station. Kate presents the idea as having been Martha's, not hers, and speaks of the child's 'two favourite aunts'. Not for an instant thinking of her actual daughter, Emma accepts the invitation.

Ben has come over to the Stables house, where Paul is being ungracious but accepts the offer of a lager and manages to say thank you for it. He then complains about work and about Alistair having offered to take him to The Bull, which seems to have been intolerable to him: unless it's about work he's not interested in talking to Alistair. He can't believe Alistair's nerve. Just because he and John met last week and didn't knock each other's lights out, he now thinks he can cosy up to Paul after work, as if Paul's going to listen to Alistair bad-mouthing his dad. Ben is shocked: he didn't say that, did he? Paul doesn't quite have the nerve to maintain that he did, so instead he claims Alistair dressed it up by saying that he loves Paul's mum, would never hurt her, wants to get to know Paul outside of being his boss, yada yada yada. Ben asks whether Paul thinks Alistair was trying to manipulate him; Paul mutters grumpily that it's probably the signals Paul gives out. Everyone he trusted seems to think it's OK to walk all over him: his mum, Alistair, Etienne, the list goes on. Ben thinks that's grim, and asks what about his mates, Josh and Lily? No, of course Paul doesn't mean them! Ben says that's good, because Lily is on her way home now, and then they're going into Borchester for some karaoke: is Paul in? The taxi is booked for six forty-five, and the takeaway Ben has with him is for all four of them. This sounds good to Paul.

Since Martha and Poppy are asleep, Kate and Emma can now sit around in a yurt drinking wine and gossiping, and do. Kate reminisces about camping in Morocco with Phoebe when she was barely a year old, and how her story-books were all in French. [Kate took Phoebe to Morocco by road on 26th or perhaps 27th November 1999, so they probably got there by 1st December if they were lucky and the van didn't break down; by 5th December Phoebe had contracted some foul gut condition requiring hospitalisation, and Brian paid for plane tickets to get them both home. Chris.] Emma condoles with Kate about her children being so far away, and Kate avers that she misses them, then adds that it is Roy she is missing more than anyone else right now. Camping reminds her of all the festivals they went to together [for at least two months until their catering van died and had to be towed home. Chris]; she has always been a free spirit, a nomad, who couldn't wait to up sticks and travel and experience other ways of living, but at present she feels rooted to Ambridge. Maybe that's because she can leave whenever she wants now and doesn't feel trapped by responsibilities. Though there is Alice, of course. Emma says she feels terrible about... how mean she was to Alice, but Kate's reaction is to ask if that is the reason she is so stressed, and then to want to know what's up if it isn't the Big Four Oh, which Emma said hadn't helped. Emma can't think what it is but everything is getting on top of her even the tree surgery, and that's going well! Kate gives her advice about starting your own business [and quite fails to mention the important bit about her own, which was having a father who could give her some land and a sister who could lend her the money for the start-up. Chris] which amounts to saying that building up a customer base will eventually bring success. Emma remarks that she doesn't think she could go back to being full-time at the tea room. Kate says the trick of it is not to let it all get on top of you, to rest your brain for a few minutes each day, and offers to show Emma a relaxation exercise.

Lily, Paul and Ben, plus a man called Kieron who seems to be Paul's friend, are home at nine-thirty after their evening in town, and Josh is thought to be asleep upstairs having left the bar early. The other man is loudly drunk and wants to play darts, but Ben tells him house rules are no darts when they've been drinking. Paul bags the sofa and is clearly even more drunk than his friend; he says he is going to bed by stages. Ben tells him that sofa is his bed tonight and Paul's room is upstairs; Paul's friend says he and Paul will go up together if someone shows him where the bedroom is, but Paul is waiting for the room to stop spinning and claims he'll never walk again. After brief discussion of the karaoke Paul stands up, then sits down again saying he feels sick. Kieron shouts that they have a casualty, someone send a stretcher; Lily asks him, not for the first time, to keep the noise down. She then asks Ben to fetch down the old duvet in the airing cupboard in case Paul is sick; he might end up in Paul's room tonight. Ben departs on his errand, telling her to leave it to Supernurse. After he has gone up, Lily suggests to Kieron that they had better call it a night.

Emma is unable to relax because her brain won't stop whirring, and Kate asks if she has tried hypnotherapy: that might help to work through any underlying anxiety she's holding on to, but Emma thinks she needs to practise what they just did. She asks Kate how she stops herself worrying; Kate meditates and practises mindfulness, though being completely honest it's not always easy, especially at the moment with everything that's going on. Emma is sympathetic: Alice, you mean. What Kate is most afraid of is her relapsing; Emma suggests that maybe some of Kate's relaxation exercises might help Alice, both to stay sober and to deal with the stress she must be under. Kate is unsure they could deal with addiction, but when Emma asks what about what she said before, underlying anxiety? Kate realises that regression therapy helps you to access painful memories and process them properly, so Alice wouldn't feel the need to self-medicate with alcohol. Emma might be on to something, Kate muses: the therapist can help you relive moments in your past, memories that you've buried because they're too painful to remember or too horrific to contemplate... Emma is a genius! What if regression therapy could take Alice back to the night of the accident? [At which point she would 'remember' anything it was hinted she might remember, which is why the police don't use it. Sparrer.] Emma, slightly bewildered, asks 'what?'; Kate goes on: if Alice could recall what actually happened... Emma says she doesn't know, but Kate says she is no expert and it might lead to nothing, but what if it did work? Emma is fairly sure Alice was totally out of it, and doubts you can re-live something you weren't conscious of in the first place, but Kate feels that, if Alice really wants to remember, it's worth a try.

Lily has provided a bowl for Paul to be sick into if he needs it, and then offers Kieron a taxi number, at which point he says that's fine, he has an app, and when she says she doubts it covers this area says he won't book it yet and suggests she could go off to bed while he sits and looks after Paul. Brightly she tells him not to worry, she and Ben can keep an eye on him, and enquires whereabouts Kieron lives anyway. He abruptly turns nasty and informs her coldly that Paul hasn't asked him to leave; she says 'sorry?' in disbelief, to which he replies in a rather threatening way that he thinks she heard him. She doesn't think Paul is in a fit state to ask, which Kieron says flatly is just her opinion, so she tells him point-blank that he needs to go home. Luckily, Ben comes downstairs calling cheerfully that he's found the duvet, Lily asks him if he could please call Kieron a taxi, and he grasps there might be some sort of problem, asking if everything is all right as he comes into the room. Kieron no longer likes the odds, and says it's OK, it's OK, it's OK as he retreats: he will call one himself from outside. It's been a lovely evening, he adds sardonically, adding that they are to give Paul a goodnight kiss from him. The door closes behind him, and Ben asks Lily what happened and if she is OK: she is fine, just glad that Kieron, whoever he is, has gone. What was Paul thinking?

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 14th August, 2024

Alice wants to be involved, Josh absolutely doesn't

Characters: Lilian, Alice, Lily, Ben, Paul, Justin
Credited scriptwriter:
Avin Shah
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

At The Stables Lilian is having a hard time getting a pony called Rusty to have the bit removed from her mouth when Alice turns up and asks if Rusty's owner is there. No, they have been filming her. George is now getting some exterior shots and barely said a word to Alice, and Lilian laughingly tells her not to disturb the artist at work. Alice asks if Justin is doing his fancy dress video, but Lilian doesn't know: he has gone to the vets to check up on Amir's condition after Monday. Alice thought they would be filming her publicity video this morning and asks where George needs her, but Lilian has to break it to her that they have already done it, though because of the contrary Rusty it took a few takes. Alice says brightly that she could do something else, but then realises that Justin doesn't want her in any of the videos. Lilian starts to explain that they had to make a very difficult decision, and Alice interrupts: in case Alice damaged the reputation of The Stables. Lilian is very sorry. Alice accepts that she will be cleaning Rusty's tack. [Was it filmed dirty, then? Chris.] Lilian gives her a pep talk as usual, but Alice tells her she is actually feeling rather positive: Kate's recommended a hypnotherapist. Lilian agrees that does sound positive and asks how she is coping about the court case. Alice says she can't afford to let the uncertainty affect how she approaches each day, and has to live in the present for her own sake and for Martha's [she has her priorities... Chris] and it's too easy to use the future as an excuse to give up on herself. Lilian praises her: she does admire her resilience, and feels Alice could allow herself to be more proud, on the inside anyway. And she is behind Alice all the way.

Speaking with Ben over breakfast about the previous night, Lily quotes Josh saying that stuff happens and it's no big deal, but Ben is unimpressed: that's typical Josh. He didn't see what Ben saw: when Ben walked in, Kieron looked like he was squaring up to her. Lily admits it did get a little bit scary; Ben informs her that she was shaking after Kieron left. Lily doesn't think he would have done anything, but it's not like Paul to bring home a random on a night out. Ben postulates that he is just doing what he thinks he ought to after all that stuff with Etienne, but Lily has never seen him get that wasted, and he was downing shots like he was on a mission. Ben muses that working with Denise and Alistair every day can't be helping. Then they hear the lavatory flushing and Lily remarks that Paul is alive at least; Ben wonders if she thinks they should mention it, before he puts himself in real danger. Lily suggests doing it after work; she'll see him later. Ben wants to say something now, and though Lily pleads a hangover on Paul's behalf and says she doesn't want to start the day with a difficult conversation, Ben calls for him and Paul comes in asking crossly what he wants.

Alice is glad she caught Justin; she assumed he'd be going to check on Amir. He wants to see Alistair before surgery starts, but takes the time to tell Alice he does appreciate what she did on Monday; Alice unwittingly repeats Justin's own comment that she was just doing her job, then asks if he's had a chance to think about her in Cantering On; he replies not yet, they're still finalising details. She reminds him she put it all in her marketing plan, including suggestions for what she'd be doing on the day itself, and Justin flannels: she's a little late to the party, so to speak, and they didn't know when she'd be back, or indeed if. Alice responds that she is right here, so... and he is forced to be more direct: he's afraid they've already allocated staff to their rôles, and Carlotta is covering the event in Alice's place. It's a bit late to change things now. Alice spells it out: so there'll be nothing for her to do there? Justin claims they were only trying to consider her best interests, and assumed she wouldn't want to be around lots of people so soon. Again she offers a reminder: this event was her idea in the first place. What he says makes it clear that he did read her plan, and she accuses him of having no qualms about using her marketing ideas while simultaneously trying to push her out, which drives him into saying that they have to consider Carlotta as a potential long-term manager until they know how things will turn out with – he stops abruptly, and she completes the sentence for him: her court case. He agrees, adding that means giving Carlotta the responsibilities that go with the rôle for as long as she is with them. Alice thinks that fair, and understands it, but remarks that he gave up on her quite some time ago, didn't he, which he indignantly denies. She knows she has to live with the possibility that she might go to prison, but in the meantime she needs to support herself and her daughter; she's competent and she wants to work, and if Lilian wants her there she'll be at Cantering On. She then cuts off Justin's reply, saying she has to take a phone call.

Kieron seemed like a nice guy to Paul, but Ben tells him that's not what they saw and he was way out of line with Lily, though Lily says it was more like he was trying to save face. Ben asserts that Kieron's behaviour wasn't on, and Lily reluctantly admits that he was a bit sinister, and certainly didn't want to leave. Paul mutters that he must have missed that, and Lily says that he wanted to stay the night with Paul. Paul laughs and asks them to remind him never to do shots on a school night. When Ben points out that Kieron was a complete stranger, Paul's response is that he doesn't think he can take a lecture on morality right now. Lily decides on a different tack: didn't he seem a bit full on? He was coming on to Paul all evening. Paul doesn't get why this is such a big deal, and Ben explains it's because Paul could have been in danger: he had no idea who Kieron was. Paul is starting to be cross, and asks whether they really have to do this now; Lily suggests he could maybe try and be a bit more careful in future and Paul says he's got enough to deal with right now, he has to get ready for work, and he needs to get his act together. Lily persists by saying they are just worried about him, that's all, and Ben asks if he is OK, to which Paul replies loudly that no, he's not. His head is ready to explode; just give him a break! He's going for a shower. As the door shuts behind him Ben asks Lily not to say it, and she replies she's not saying anything.

The perpetual argument between Lilian and Justin about whether to make use of Alice as a manager or pay her to be a manager and employ her to sweep the yard continues. Lilian has decided she wants Alice at Cantering On, in spite of anything Justin can argue against her being there at all. This time Alice knocks at the door and comes in whilst the argument is happening, and hears them at it. Justin immediately makes himself scarce on the pretext of finding George to arrange a time tomorrow for filming. Lilian immediately asks Alice to be the face of The Stables on Sunday week and not worry about Justin. Alice cheerfully agrees to, and thanks Lilian for having her back. The truth is, she has been worrying about the future, prison. Lilian utters bromides as usual, and Alice says the hypnotherapist Kate advised her about had a cancellation which means she was able to make an appointment with her tomorrow. She explains to Lilian that it is regression therapy and the therapist thinks she might be able to help Alice remember the night of the accident and fill in the blanks. Lilian dubiously asks whether Alice wants to remember it all, and Alice is confident that she does. She knows she looks guilty, but she can't let go of her feeling that she wouldn't have driven her car after drinking so much. She needs to know.

A round has been bought by Paul: white wine for Lily, and pint of lemonade for Paul. Paul is trying to get Ben to come and meet them, and he apologises to Lily for his behaviour. She is just concerned that it was Paul who could have been in danger, and it seems Paul has finally realised how he behaved and what a fool he was. He's just glad Ben was there to back Lily up. He says that she, Ben and Josh are his best mates, which she thinks is a lovely thing to say. He survived at work with coffee and painkillers, and once he got his head together he spoke to his mum and told her he'd try and make an effort to get on with Alistair, though he can't promise to be his friend. He hasn't made the effort yet, but he will first chance he gets tomorrow. When Lily says that's good for him, he tells her she was the one who made him see where he'd been going wrong: he thought of something from the time he took her to the rage room for her birthday, and she told him about Lower Loxley and how her dad left the whole place to Freddie, and said she could go on raging about the injustice of it all and stay angry for ever, but where would it get her? It would end up defining her and souring everything else she did. She is touched that he remembered, and comments that she sounded rather wise, didn't she. Ben arrives at this critical moment, and as Paul starts to try to apologise to him, tells him that he is not going to hug him because he is all sweaty from rushing over. He only just saw Paul's message: dinner at The Bull, on Paul, how could he say no? He wants to order quickly, because he has to rush back to Brookfield to wash their prize heifer so she can be in wedding photos tomorrow. The information that David will be 'dressing up a heifer' [so often the case with weddings. Gus] causes Lily to start laughing as Ben orders steak and chips, and thanks Paul. Paul says thanks again to both of them: he owes them.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 15th August, 2024

High Heels the star is also a patient, and Paul admits to being at fault.

Characters: Ruth, David, Alistair, Paul
Credited scriptwriter:
Avin Shah
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

It's all go at Brookfield: Josh and Pip are said to be putting the finishing touches to the barn while David and Ruth primp High Heels, the Hereford heifer. They agree that Ben did a great job of washing her, though Ruth complains about having to crouch down and clip her legs. David praises her conformation and her brilliant temperament and reckons she will be a star of the show ring one day. The reason for having wedding photos with her is that the bride's grandad used to breed Herefords, and it was seeing the herd on the Brookfield website that sold the barn to this couple as their wedding reception venue.

A cat has had to be put to sleep and both Alistair and Paul were distressed, though not as much as the owner, Mr Saddler, who has left his cat carrier in case someone else can use it. Paul seems willing to talk to Alistair in a civilised way about his dislike for the transactional nature of euthanasia, especially since the machine refused Mr Saddler's card the first time and the poor man was standing there with tears pouring down his face. Alistair thanks Paul for being so caring, and Paul offers to make him a coffee, which Alistair refuses, then asks if Alistair has a moment. Not really, because his next client is due any minute: is it urgent? Paul wanted to talk to him about him and Denise; Alistair is surprised because he thought they weren't going to discuss it at work, or indeed at all, and Paul says that he supposes it's more about him and Alistair and he owes Alistair an apology. He's sorry he's been such a pain. Alistair thanks him, but he hasn't finished: he's been struggling, and he still is, but that's not an excuse for the way he's been behaving. He's been getting under Alistair's skin deliberately, and he's sorry. Alistair really appreciates him saying that, and Paul tentatively suggests they could talk more later if Alistair has the time. Maybe they could have a coffee outside in the yard during a gap Paul has seen in Alistair's diary this afternoon. That sounds good to Alistair.

When the wedding is over David and Ruth pause for some champagne from a bottle given to them by the father of the bride, leaving a little in the bottle for Pip and Josh. Ruth had to miss High Heels' performance, but David took a lot of photos to show her. She wonders if he has any photos of her on the phone at all, and he admits he might have deleted some to make more room for the Herefords. There is a photo of the official photographer sneezing: he was allergic to High Heels. They congratulate themselves on a successful wedding, and David ponders on what Phil and Dan would have thought of all this; he then reverts to his favourite subject, High Heels and how she will make a great show animal. He can really see her in the cow and calf classes; he'd love to do some more showing as he gets nearer retirement. Ruth asks if the champagne has gone to his head, mentioning the 'r' word.

Alistair is telling Paul that John was really reasonable in the circumstances; he seemed to realise how Denise felt about Alistair but wanted to know if Alistair was serious about Denise. Alistair told him how much he loves Denise and John could see he meant it; it was then that he told Alistair that he realised his marriage to Denise was all over. He was being very honest, and very calm, and very understanding. He tells Paul that his dad is a good man, and in another life he is sure he and John could be friends... Honestly, he truly hates the fact that he's been instrumental in Paul's parents' break-up, and it's been awful seeing the pain it's causing Paul. He didn't want it to be like this, and he is truly sorry. He suggests they head back over the wheat field. [Back from where? They were going to have coffee in the yard, not go for a ramble. Chris.] As he opens a gate he goes on beating his breast, about having kept it from Paul and how he hated doing that as well. Paul joins in the general apologetic atmosphere by saying he's sorry he was so awful. He felt at the time that Alistair was abusing his position and he just saw red. Alistair can see that and honestly can't blame him for reacting as he did, but although he knows he can't have the sort of bond with Paul that connects him to his parents, he hopes that over time they might get to know each other a bit better. Paul tells him it still really hurts, but he appreciates Alistair's words. Does he think he can ever get used to the idea of Denise and Alistair being together? He doesn't know: it's not the idea he has to get used to, it's the reality. They then see Justin, on horseback, in a ringmaster's costume, and Paul shouts a greeting to him. The cheerful mood caused by this sighting is shattered when Alistair's phone rings: it's Ruth asking him to come and help them because there is something wrong with one of their heifers. After listening to her description of the symptoms, Alistair agrees to come over right away.

When they get there the cow drooling is what bothers Alistair, who fits a mouth-gag to avoid getting bitten, then examines the inside of her mouth and finds a wadded-up crisp packet in her left cheek. David is outraged: she could have choked on that! Sadly, animals in trouble because of litter is something Alistair sees all too often. As he is telling them about another, more serious, case, his phone rings again and he asks Paul to remove the gag while he answers it. Paul removes the gag, David fulminates about litter, and Alistair talks on his phone at a distance. David then goes back to the house to make a cuppa, and Paul speaks feelingly of the evils of summer visitors and animals getting injured by their stupidity, listing the various sorts of litter which cause them problems. Ruth remarks that Alistair was great: he has such a good heart, doesn't Paul think? Paul agrees: he does. He also agrees when Ruth tells him that he and Alistair make a fine team. Ruth tells him that in a complete U-turn Josh is back as a helper on the under-16s cricket; Paul is glad. She then sees Alistair come off the phone, and goes to give David a hand with the tea, telling Paul he and Alistair are to come up to the house when they're ready. Alistair is not happy: that was head office. Don James has heard the gossip about Alistair and Denise, and didn't sound very happy about it. He wants to see Alistair in his office next week.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 16th August, 2024

George would like to forget, while Alice is trying hard to remember.

Characters: George, Will, Emma, Alice, Yasmin
Credited scriptwriter:
Avin Shah
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

According to George a shot of Justin riding a horse while wearing fancy dress has been ruined by Paul and Alistair waving at him. Apparently Justin will wear the fancy dress for the dray shuttle [dray where from? Pulled by what horses? Argh? Chris] and Will explains that it is taking people between the fête and The Stables, in case either George or the listeners did not already know this. George has to get going: he is due at Bridge Farm by ten thirty, and Emma is giving him a lift there. Will tells him not to forget they are celebrating Mia's A-level results tonight; they were good enough for her to get into her first choice yew-knee, Newcastle. George points out that Mia's are nothing compared to Brad's four A stars, proper geek. Will remarks that Tracy says it's pretty rare for anyone to get an A* in further maths even in posh schools, just as Emma arrives to give George his lift. [Eight hundred yards in a car, to be at Bridge Farm by ten thirty. Chris.] For some reason she finds it necessary to advise him not to panic before telling him about Alice's appointment with the hypnotherapist today at ten. George says that's now, but it seems there was a last-minute cancellation, and Alice took the slot, so George at once starts to panic. They have to stop her from doing it!

At the appointment Alice is reassured by the hypnotherapist, Yasmin, that there is nothing mystical about regression therapy, and she cannot be forced to remember anything she doesn't want to, but they are there to help her remember what she does want to. Alice would like to go back to the night of the accident; Yasmin asks if there are any reservations she might have, or anything that worries her about the therapy, and Alice worries that she might remember she was actually driving and is guilty; she can't remember anything because she had just drunk a whole bottle of vodka. She's an alcoholic. ['I'm ninety-two, you know...' Gus.] Yasmin patiently says that she told her that, and Yasmin understands. Shall they begin?

In spite of both his parents' attempts to calm him down, George is trying to plan some way to prevent the session; where is it happening, Spiritual Home? No, Emma tells him, and he demands that she must tell him where it is, shouting at her. She steadfastly refuses, so he applies himself to the internet and swiftly finds Yasmin MacFarlane at Felpersham practice and Spiritual Home. Why couldn't Emma have just told him? Emma asks if he is going to call her, and if he does what he is going to say, but George plans to go there and asks for William's car keys. He has to get there before it's too late! Emma asks him what on earth he is going to achieve by turning up? He'll only make things worse. He accuses her of not caring what happens to him, and gets less and less coherent, until Will offers to take him on the basis that he is in no state to get behind the wheel.

Alice is recalling what she did before the accident: driving carefully out of the village in the early evening with the bottle of vodka in her handbag on the passenger seat. She had been upset by the row with Brian, but she is calm now. That bag and that bottle are her friends, her secret friends, and she needs the reassurance that her friends are beside her. She indicates and pulls into the lay-by in Heydon Wood, and backs up to park right at the end of the lay-by so any approaching car can't spot her; it's something she has done twice before. It feels like her safe space. She gets ready to drink and forget everything: she feels really sorry for herself and especially hates her dad, everyone hates her, no-one trusts her, and she wants her mum, but most of all she just wants to get away from everything. She starts to drink. No, hang on: there's something else...

On the way to Felpersham Will has pulled into a lay-by and stopped the car in order to find out just what George thinks he is going to do when they get there. George plans to stop the session before Alice finds out, but has no plan beyond that. He has no idea what he would say then. Will suggests that if he's lucky he gets thrown out; if he isn't, Alice seeing him might trigger her in some way. and actually make her remember that it was him. It seems to Will that whatever he does is going to make it worse. George is an intelligent lad and he's got a good brain; he needs to start using it a bit more. George works out that Will is not taking him; Will is sorry, and can't tell him how much it hurts him to see George like this, and can't George see Emma's in bits and it's making her ill? George is never to lose sight of the fact that whatever he did, it came from a good place and he was trying to help Alice. Everyone knows he's a good person at heart. [Could'a fooled me. Chris.] He has to own up to it, be a man and take responsibility for his actions. George starts to cry: he doesn't want to go to prison, please, dad, he can't, he just can't.

Alice is feeling all right, she thinks, and is not shaking as far as Yasmin can tell. Yasmin asks her how she thinks it went, and Alice expected to be more disorientated afterwards and wasn't expecting it to be so vivid. At least she now knows that she definitely put her keys in the glove compartment before she opened the bottle. When Yasmin asks what that means to her, and Alice replies that she can clearly remember putting them in there but has absolutely no memory of taking them out. And didn't Yasmin say the subconscious doesn't lie? Yasmin confirms that, but with the caveat that Alice may have a way to go before she remembers. Yasmin offers to guide her back into the trance if she wants, and Alice eagerly agrees: she needs to know what actually happened.

Will is still trying to get through to George that if he admits to everything now, he'll be doing the right thing and making amends; don't let it ruin his life. As far as George is concerned, Will is telling him to do exactly that. Will says they will understand if George holds his hands up; he knows it sounds daft, but he promises: once George does, he won't feel as bad as he does now. George says Will doesn't know what it's like inside, but Freddie told him about it. Will advises him to try not to think too far ahead and remember Will and Emma are always there and they're on his side. George is reduced to moaning that he can't go to prison, please don't make him; Will affirms to him that he would never make him do anything [which is why George is the horrible person that he is. Chris] but right now George has a choice to make: he can't run away for ever.

No sooner has Alice left the session than she is rung by Emma, and Alice's first reaction is to thank her: if it hadn't been for Emma she'd never have considered it. Kate told her Emma gave her the idea for suggesting hypnotherapy. Emma asks how it was, and Alice tells her it went better than she'd expected; Emma carries on fishing for more exact information, and is told that Alice remembers the crash, it was so vivid, the noise of the two cars colliding [which we did not hear on air. Chris] like it was filling up her whole head, deafening almost. Emma asks if there was anything else and Alice tells her that all she can remember is the sound, no images. Emma hazards that she didn't remember what she needed to remember, which Alice confirms: not yet, but she made some progress. Yasmin is great and Alice really trusted her; is Emma still thinking of trying it for herself? Emma hasn't decided. But she suggests that it might be blessing not to see what happened; she's probably not meant to. Alice thinks she might be right and Yasmin says you only remember things you want to; it might just be too traumatic. Next time she might remember a bit more. Emma asks if she is going back and Alice definitely is: she hasn't booked it yet, but next session, you never know, she just might get to the bottom of what happened that night.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 18th August, 2024

George may be going to own up; Paul comes over to clear himself.

Characters: Lilian, Jazzer, Alistair, Emma, Will, Paul, George
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

It's getting a little chilly,so Lilian offers her table outside to Alistair and Jazzer, proposing to take her G&T inside. Jazzer asks after the preparations for 'Galloping Forth', which makes her laugh and correct him, say they are getting there, and ask how the plans for the fête are getting on: she hears Jazzer is running a stall. Alistair tells her it is 'guess the weight of the piglet'. Lilian plans to take an hour off and ride the dray to the fête [and we learn it is to be pulled by Shire horses. Whose? Chris]; the dray looks fabulous on the posters. She then sees Paul and goes off to catch him.

Alistair is feeling glum about his impending interview with Don James, and Jazzer tries to jolly him along about it, without notable success. Apparently no-one's ever seen Don smile. Alistair knows it is about him and Denise, and he knows they have received a complaint, and he doesn't know who made it; he is casting about to think who it might be. Jazzer rubbishes the suggestion of Jakob, saying he hasn't a sneaky bone in his body and would tell Alistair to his face if he was going to dob him in. Alistair continues to speculate: John has good reason to want to cause trouble for them, and Alistair is hardly in Paul's good books at the moment; Paul might go behind his back if he thought it would get rid of him. Jazzer remarks that Alistair and Denise are doing nothing wrong, but Alistair checked the Lovell James small print and it states quite clearly that relationships at work are discouraged. In reply to Jazzer asking if they are banned he says no, but they should have told HR about it. Jazzer advises him to stop panicking, finish his pint and, if he's sacked, grab a chance at a new start doing something new and exciting like topiary or taxidermy. While laughing, Alistair chides him: it's not funny! He wonders if there is ever going to be a time he and Denise can just be themselves without any big worries hanging over them.

At yet another conference between them, Emma turns down Will's offer of coffee; she can't be too long or Ed will wonder where she's gone. She has come to see how George is, and the answer, according to Will, is that he is still asleep or at least not coming out of his room or opening his curtains. She asks if he's said much since Friday; no, and he slept most of yesterday and he doesn't want to talk about it. Emma repeats her opinion about him having to go to the police and own up. The Aldridges have 'jumped on' the fake mystery jogger, [who told them what George said to the police? Chris], Alice could be about to see the truth under some hypnotic trance, Emma is lying to her husband, and it's all such a mess. Will reckons all George can see is prison and he's not thinking straight. He's nineteen and he's frightened. Emma wants to know what they are to do.

Lilian is feeling positive, and it seems that being back at work has given Alice's confidence a boost. Paul admires some glittery, horsey bracelets she has designed for publicity, and Lilian says that even Justin admits her slogan 'your horse is our horse' is perfect. Paul sympathises about the comments on 'socials' during the strangles outbreak, saying that it's mad how people think they can say just anything on line. However, they are getting positive feedback about George's first two promotional videos, one of which features Justin on horseback dressed as a ringmaster; Paul remembers seeing him. On the day, Paul plans to be at The Stables in the morning and go to the fête in the afternoon, which fits with Lilian's idea: to ask him to judge the children's fancy dress. He asks what he would have to do, and she assures him it will be easy; they discuss how to avoid upsetting any children at such an event. Paul wants to avoid the ranking element, but Justin has set his heart on medals denoting gold, silver and bronze. Paul will think about it, but if it matters to Justin that there are 'winners', there shall be medals. Jazzer comes up then and Lilian tells him Paul has agreed to judge the fancy dress, but he has no time to hang about talking about horse costumes: he's on a mission to buy Alistair another pint and some fancy crisps. He lets slip that Alistair is down because of his meeting with Don James tomorrow and is fearing the worst.

Emma and Will go into George's room even though this makes him swear at them, and tell him they need to talk. He doesn't see the need, claims to be ill complete with a fake cough, and absolutely rejects the idea of going to the police. However, they speak of Alice getting the blame, how George being scared is not something to be ashamed of, and that if Alice is sent down it will destroy George as well. Will offers to go to the station with him and be there for him all the way. Emma suggests that the police might find new evidence next month, or year, or ten years, or Alice might remember George getting into her car: staying silent doesn't guarantee he can hide the truth. Admitting it would show he's not a coward and he does know right from wrong. [Yeah, which is why he's not doing it, keep up at the back there. Sparrer.] They wear him down into saying he will do it, but after that he just wants them to get out of his room, while he goes to The Bull for a burger on the grounds that even prisoners on death row get to have a last meal. Will tries to give him twenty quid for food, but George says he has money. After he has gone Emma asks how Will thinks that went, and Will supposes it could have gone worse.

On the way to the pub George gets on the phone and says 'Hi. It's George. Grundy. Erm. I dunno if, er, I don't really know, um, I'm just leaving a message to ask, er, what I wanted to ask is for a favour. And I wouldn't be ringing like this if I didn't really need to ask you, well, er, what I want to know is, if you can help me.' [Verbatim. Chris.]

Back at The Bull, Paul approaches Alistair, who makes desultory replies to him and then says he had better be heading off. He's cooking beef for Jim for Sunday dinner. Paul wanted a quick word if he had time. Jazzer said he was nervous about his meeting with Don James tomorrow; Alistair reveals that he is concerned that a colleague or a previously happy client has made a complaint about him and his conduct, and if he does keep his job it won't be pleasant working at the practice if his presence is resented. Paul tells him, for the record, that he did not make the complaint. Alistair feels that's something. Paul admits he is finding it all rather difficult, but he hopes it will settle down, that Mum and Dad don't have to share a house for much longer, and they can all be happier than they are now. He feels able to admit it wasn't a shock they were splitting up; they haven't been in love for years.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 19th August, 2024

George has done a runner, and Don shows a human side.

Characters: Emma, Will, Jim, Alistair, Don James
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Once more, Emma and Will discuss taking George to the police station, this time at Little Grange where Emma is hanging up washing; he has taken Poppy to be with Clarrie. Ed is on a job trimming trees at a private school near Felpersham and Emma made an excuse not to go with him: she feels wrong keeping what's going on from him, but, as Will points out, she promised George she wouldn't tell him. [She made the same promise about Will. Chris.] She is also very well aware that when the truth comes out, as it now will, George will be hated, and have the whole Aldridge family turn on him. And what about Bridge Farm at one of their busiest times? Is George going to ring in sick? No, Will has spoken to Pat and Pat thinks George has a dentist's appointment. Emma is having cold feet, and in a reversion to their usual rôles Will is the one urging the right course of action. George was still upstairs having a shower when Will came out.

Alistair, on the phone to Jim, is outside Don James' office waiting to be carpeted and feeling like he's waiting to see the headmaster for a beating. [I regard this as vanishingly unlikely ever to have happened to Alistair during the seventies and eighties when he was at school. Chris.] Jim tells him to remember he's not a schoolboy, and then tells him not to talk nonsense about his relationship with Denise being nefarious. He wishes Alistair good luck just before Don calls Alistair in.

When Will and Emma get back to 1, The Green, George is gone. He has packed a bag with clothes, as Will quickly establishes, and is not answering his phone. Emma states firmly that they have to focus and can't panic; they have to keep calm and they have to think. Will says anxiously that when George went to the pub for a burger he called it a death row meal; he's scared. Emma needs him to be strong, and says so: no-one else has a clue what's going on and it's just him and her, so either he pulls himself together and he helps her think, or she has to ring Ed and tell him everything.

Don James starts out playing 'hard cop', with Alistair grovelling like a naughty schoolboy, but after Alistair has embarked on a long and torturous explanation of the circumstances he tells Alistair he doesn't need to know the details but that Alistair should have made HQ aware of the relationship; Alistair realises that now. So, continues Don, back to the complaint; Alistair, not know what was in it, asks, and is told that the gist of it was that this new relationship is disrupting the work. Alistair protests that's ridiculous: he's been nothing but professional. Not according to one disgruntled customer, it seems, who felt he was distracted during their dog's appointment because Denise was in the room. In their words, 'Mr Lloyd's blatant flirting was very off-putting.' He ignores Alistair's protest at the word flirting, and continues: 'It's obvious the vet's full attention is no longer on the care of our pets.' Alistair enquires, with respect, whether Don thinks that sounds like him, and gets the surprising reply that he doesn't actually, and that's why Don's annoyed that they're even having this conversation, but the fact of Alistair's relationship came as a surprise to him and Doug when they received this complaint. Alistair apologises yet again, and Don tells him that the sooner he and Denise fill out the required paperwork the better; that will make it official and he suspects the interest in the two of them will soon die down. Alistair is astounded that he is not being disciplined; he had thought he might have to leave the practice. Don makes it clear that they wouldn't want to lose either him or Denise: she's one of the best nurses they've ever had working for them and Alistair is an experienced vet with excellent interpersonal skills. Doug was only saying last month that the Ambridge practice is a model of how a rural vet's can serve its community. Alistair is massively relieved and is sure Denise will be too. Out of the blue, Don remarks that Alistair may be aware that he and Doug have been together for years and are often asked if it is too much, living and working together, but there are great perks to it. Every single Friday, no matter how busy it is, they have lunch at the café round the corner, ordering home-made quiche and chatting about books, or anything but work. [Perks for a pair of partners to share a meal and not talk shop? Wowsers. Chris.] He then says he will draft a perfectly light response to the complainant assuring them that Lovell James trust that Alistair's priority is and always will be the welfare of the animals in his care. This has been a waste of Alistair's time and his, he adds peevishly: sometimes the need to follow protocol is extremely irritating.

A delighted Alistair rings Jim from the car park to tell him that all went well and Don was positive to and about him, in a way he has not heard before. He can't wait to tell Paul: they thought Don incapable of anything approaching 'nice'; he even complained about having to follow rules. It was almost like speaking to a human being. Alistair feels Denise and he can finally relax; they are together, and for the first time they don't need to hide how they feel. Jim thinks that calls for a celebration, but he doesn't think he should be involved: this is for Alistair and Denise, and Alistair should take her out somewhere. Alistair muses that what would be really lovely some time would be a proper night in with her, with a bottle of wine and a film, doing nothing much but having a chat, and Jim encourages him: then that is what he shall do. Jim was planning on going bird-watching with Robert tonight anyway (Alistair doubts the truth of this) and after that they'll take their ornithology books to The Bull and stay there until closing time. Alistair feels there is really no need for Jim to go out, and anyway a romantic evening in your dad's place feels a bit teenage. Jim offers to hide his slippers and turn the photos around, which makes Alistair laugh. Jim then suggests that maybe Alistair needs a place of his own. What Alistair wants is to cook the three of them a meal tonight, something special like steak and chips, and Denise could beat Jim at chess while Alistair cooks. They agree that's a plan, and Alistair heads for the surgery.

Emma has collected Poppy, and Will has told Pat that the dentist had to drill deep and George is in a lot of pain; Clarrie was there so she has been told that story too. Ed came home as Emma and Poppy were leaving and said Emma looked ill and should go to bed for a bit. Emma has been trying to find out if George got a taxi somewhere, but he didn't use Rex and the taxi companies won't tell her anything. Both his parents have been ringing him every five minutes with no reply. Emma has subtly questioned those of his mates whose numbers she has, but they knew nothing. She has been thinking about reporting him missing, as has Will, but they decide not to; Will points out that it's only been three hours. Emma is feeling guilty because George turned to them and now he clearly thinks they are not on his side. They just need to know he's OK. Providentially, their phones both sound for messages simultaneously, and they're from George. Emma reads hers out: 'I'm OK. I've got somewhere to stay. I'll ring you tomorrow' and Will's says the same. Another arrives for Emma, which just says 'sorry mum'. Emma is relieved that at least they know he's safe, but Will reckons that now all the other stuff comes crashing back in: the whole point of him confessing was to buy him a bit of credit if he ends up in court. [Nothing to do with exonerating the innocent person he framed for a crime. Chris.] Emma doesn't think they should give up on that yet: he might just need a night or two to process what they're asking of him. Will makes a plan: to keep quiet about him going AWOL, and hope they can talk some sense into him when he rings tomorrow. If he rings tomorrow, Emma adds realistically.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 20th August, 2024

It's all go at Bridge Farm, and George continues to be gone.

Characters: Natasha, Pat, Emma, Will
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Rainbow chard and courgettes are delivered to Pat by Natasha, and the French beans and basil will be brought by Tom when he's finished helping Tony with the milking. Once they have got the veg boxes packed they will work out a schedule for the rest of the week. Pat is unsure how they will cope when Adam goes on holiday to France soon, and poor George being off yesterday didn't help. Natasha feels guilty for saying it when everyone is rushed off their feet, but she desperately needs to get on top of things at Summer Orchard today: she is behind with the accounts. Pat is fine with that; they can't expect Natasha to drop everything just because it's manic at the farm. [Except aren't the veg boxes 'Bridge Fresh', and isn't that Tom and Natasha's enterprise? Chris.] Pat doesn't know where they would be without her. Both women are tired and down, and Natasha in particular thinks these last few weeks have felt too much. She worries that all the girls will think she does is feed them and put them to bed, but Pat tells her not to be hard on herself, and that she is doing a great job and the twins are a credit to her and full of life. Natasha says they certainly are, and were wide awake at five on Saturday morning; Tom had promised to get up with them since she'd been up till after midnight doing recipes on the Bridge Fresh website, but contrived to fake sleep and leave it to Natasha to look after their children. Their anti-Tom chat is interrupted by Tony messaging Pat to ask if George has phoned in sick again. Pat is vaguely sympathetic to George, saying he has a lot on his mind; Natasha is not, saying they all have a lot on their minds.

Another conversation takes place between Emma and Will, who are wondering where George is and wanting to speak to him. When Pat rings Will, he doesn't answer the call because he wants to work out what to say to her; Emma suggests they could tell her George has gone away for a few days with some friends to chill out and get over some of his stress. She thinks if they say it was last minute and they persuaded him to go, Pat will understand. As they finalise the details of this lie, the phone rings again: Pat is sorry to bother Will, but George hasn't turned up for work and he isn't answering his phone. Will claims the blame: he was meant to send a message to Pat last night and he forgot. She assumes George is still in pain from his tooth and is very sympathetic, but Will explains about the spur-of-the-moment (mythical) holiday and offers himself in George's place. Pat certainly wouldn't say no. Will says he will be doing the Bridge Fresh deliveries tomorrow and if he can get them out of the way early, he's all Pat's.

After thanking him, Pat rings off and Natasha brings the French beans and basil, since Tom is making Tony take a break, and Pat says that if they manage to finish the boxes quickly Natasha will be able to head off and concentrate on Summer Orchard for a few hours. Pat asks how many courgettes Natasha has been putting in each box, and the answer amounts to 'it depends on their size'. Natasha asks if it was Will Pat was speaking to as she arrived, and is indignant when Pat explains that George is away on an impromptu trip, and it's clear that though Pat was friendly to Will, she is not at all pleased about it. Natasha knows George isn't full time but she thinks he's thoughtless, especially since Pat and Tony gave him a chance when many wouldn't. Pat agrees, and says that in the main he's stepped up and been a pretty decent worker. Natasha asks waspishly whether, assuming everyone stays healthy, and Nova and Seren are happy not to see their parents during daylight hours, they are going to make it to the end of the week? Sighing, Pat suggests that with Will on board, maybe. Pat has made a note on her phone of tomorrow's schedule: Tom will be doing the heavy veg harvesting, weeding and checking on the Anguses, Susan and Clarrie are in the dairy in the morning and then picking beans as soon as Helen can take over, Natasha and Pat will pack the meat and dairy into the veg boxes before Will gets there and then they must focus on the arable, ten acres of barley and twenty-five of wheat they have to harvest. The yield's bound to be down, with the weather they've had, she adds despondently. Has Natasha seen the forecast for tomorrow? Yes: a gorgeous start to the day, with rain later. Natasha feels that they need to get started on the barley and wheat early, and offers to take over the veg boxes: she will skip taking the twins to messy play, and take them with her in the van.

Will has been at Little Grange fettling the chainsaws, and Emma has sent Ed a text saying that George has gone away for a few days; Ed asked her if George was feeling OK, and she replied that he was all right but in need of a break with the trial looming. Ed really got it, and said a bit of fun would do George good. Will now wants to go straight on over for Pat to tell him the plans for tomorrow, and Emma is going to do some baking with Keira, since it's her day off. Ed sends her a message: he's finished the job and is coming back for lunch.

Natasha has finished her Summer Orchard work and tells Pat she is heading over to help Helen in the polytunnels. She apologises for being down earlier, and she and Pat agree that everyone needs to vent sometimes. Pat suggests that Natasha and Tom should book a few days away, with or without the girls, in October or November, for something to look forward to; Natasha thinks that's not a bad idea. Will knocks on the door and comes in to be given his instructions by Pat, and Natasha goes off to the polytunnels. Pat praises George to his father, and Will expresses his willingness to do any job asked of him.

As Will is leaving Bridge Farm Emma rings and asks if he can talk. She has just got a text from George saying 'I'm all right. Don't worry. I'm not on my own and I'm not living on burgers and fries. I just need to get everything straight before I come home.' Will is cheered: at least that sounds like he's planning to come home. Emma agrees and says that the burgers and fries bit sounds a bit jokey, doesn't it: you know, not too bad. Will still wonders who he's with, since it's not any of his mates that Will knows of, he's checked. Emma ponders who she is kidding George says don't worry, and she's worried sick.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 21st August, 2024

Ed and Will are getting on well for the time being; Kirsty and Denise hope to do so.

Characters: Jazzer, Alistair, Jim, Kirsty, Will, Ed, Denise
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The damsons in Jim's garden are ripe and Alistair is picking them before work, with Jazzer heckling. Jim comes out and is told Alistair is about to stop, so he goes back in to make a pot of tea. Jazzer and Alistair remember making damson and cinnamon and damson and star anise jelly during the pandemic. Jazzer wonders if Alistair has had Denise to stay over yet, but no, not with his dad just down the hall. Jim did mention them getting a place of their own, though Alistair was unsure he was serious and changed the subject. He'd love to live with Denise, but, well, Jim isn't getting any younger: what if Alistair moves out and he has a fall? He was so generous opening up his home to Jazzer and Alistair, and Alistair would feel selfish moving out now just because it suits him to do so, just at the point when he might be some real use at Greenacres. Kirsty calls over to ask if she has caught them scrumping, and they have a conversation about foraging and rewilding before she says she has to get an advertisement into the shop window before she goes to work. It's for a room to rent at Willow Farm; Roy has decided that he needs the income. It's a bit daunting to be getting a new housemate at her age, but Roy plans to advertise on line later in the week and she'd prefer someone local; she doesn't suppose either of them knows someone who's looking? Jazzer doesn't, but Alistair just might know someone for whom a room at Willow Farm might be perfect.

Poppy is very pleased, or as Will puts it 'high as a kite', at the prospect of spending time with Keira, and Ed and Will chat about this, and then the weather and the fact that Will is taking on some of George's jobs at Bridge Farm, which Ed thinks very decent of him. Will hopes it may make them less grumpy about George having a short break, and Ed enquires what George is doing; he's messaged him a few times and got no reply. Will laughs it off: Ed knows George, he'll talk for England if you put a pint in his hand but a text? You're lucky to get a one-word reply. Ed muses that he hadn't realised things had got so bad, which alarms Will into asking what he means; apparently Emma has told Ed that George is getting himself in a right state about giving evidence at Alice's trial, to which Will gives a relieved assent. Ed hopes a few days away does the trick, and asks who he's gone with, to which Will of course doesn't have an answer and so, instead of answering, asks him if Emma didn't say, then adds that whoever he is with Will bets they're having a right laugh in Brighton, which Ed corrects immediately to Bournemouth. Ed is glad George talked to Will and Em about struggling with his feelings and not really coping; he doesn't talk to Ed about anything like that. Will feels that kids go through phases, and he's sure George knows Ed is there for him. It's probably a relief that he has one person who isn't constantly asking him how he is. Ed asks Will to let George know that Ed hopes he's having a ball, and he'll transfer a tenner into his account for a couple of pints; laughing, Will says you'd be lucky to get one drink for a tenner down south. Ed invites him for a quick drink at The Bull after work; Will is unsure because of Poppy, but when Ed points out that Poppy can stay with Keira and Emma will be there to help with her, Will accepts the invitation.

Having been shown round, Denise is enthusiastic about Willow Farm, and Kirsty is missing Roy and would prefer to have a bit of company. Denise has been with John for so long she can't image what it would be like to have her own space. They speak of break-ups they have experienced or are experiencing. Denise asserts that she did love John, and that's the most painful part: she'll always care about him, for many reasons, and their lives bound themselves together, but when Kirsty is sympathetic she adds that she's all right really and two minutes back in the house with him puts paid to any sentimental regrets. She can't live with someone who only talks to her if she asks him a direct question, or who makes her feel like he's doing her a favour if he agrees to spend time with her. Kirsty feels that it sounds as if they made the right decision to separate, and anyone can see Denise has made Alistair a very happy man. Denise apologises, and [rightly. Chris] says there is nothing more boring than someone droning on about the end of their relationship. Kirsty tells her not to be silly, then suggests they take advantage of the sun before those storm-clouds blow their way.

In a jocular manner, Jazzer accuses Jim of kicking Alistair out in the street, and adds that Alistair is a big boy and it's time he made his own way in the world instead of sponging off his poor old da. Jim splutters indignantly, and Alistair breaks in to tell him that Jazzer is teasing him. Although Jim did mention him and Denise getting a place of their own, Alistair adds thoughtfully. Jim asks if that is what he'd like, and Alistair doesn't know: he doesn't want to rush things, and she was very eager to look at the room at Willow Farm. Jim reflects sarkily that he might have the pleasure of Alistair's company for a little longer. The three have a short complaint session about each other's little habits, all in fun. More seriously, Jim says that if Alistair is really planning on staying there, it's time he put his stamp on the place so that when Denise comes over they'll feel like it's their home too. Alistair is touched; Jim suggests he could choose a paint, or wallpaper, and Alistair is carried along enough to think they could get a little two-seater sofa. Just as Jazzer is about to leave Denise arrives, having adopted the Ambridge habit of walking in without knocking while saying 'hi, it's only me' and that the door was open. She is there to announce she wants to take the room at Willow farm, which she and Alistair agree is wonderful news.

Ed and Will have forgathered at The Bull and are talking of how their two girl-children get on well together [in spite of being thirteen and nine. Chris], until Will recounts his bad day; he made a mistake at Bridge Farm with the tractor-and-trailer and spilled a lot of the barley onto the ground; he felt a complete amateur and Tony didn't even try to be nice about it and just yelled at them to keep going and try to beat the rain. Will ended up scooping up the barley with the tractor at the end of the day, and made it into the yard as the first drops of rain began to fall. Ed says that sounds like a save to him, but Will doesn't think so. He caused them a load of stress all day; even the delivery details he sent to Natasha for Bridge Fresh were wrong. He's just not with it at the minute; his mind is on other things. Ed assumes this is because he's a bit depressed about Mia leaving for uni; she's going to love it, he says hearteningly. Will pulls himself together and agrees with a degree of enthusiasm, and Ed goes on to say George is off having fun, and Keira and Poppy will be having a great time. He reckons they can put their worries aside and enjoy their Shires. They clink their glasses together and say 'cheers', in Will's case somewhat gloomily. The Ed remembers what he has to ask: is there any chance Will could come over for a piece of cake and a glass of bubbly to celebrate Em's GCSE result tomorrow? Will accepts the invitation either willingly or making a good show of willing. Ed can tell that Emma is nervous, and he's rung George to remind him to ring her tomorrow; he didn't get an answer, but he left a message he hopes George will have listened to. Ed just wants the day to go well: getting these results is just the most important thing to Emma right now.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 22nd August, 2024

Bad news for Denise, bad news for Kirsty, and bad news for Emma and Will.

Characters: Kirsty, Lilian, Will, Ed, Emma, Susan, Denise
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Every cloud has a silver lining, according to Kirsty, who is visiting Lilian in her garden; she tells Lilian that the rain which threatened the harvest has done everyone's gardens a world of good. They are actually discussing the rewilding stand at The Stables on Sunday, and Lilian holds out an inducement to Kirsty to be there: she is expecting a contact of hers who is the head of a family trust, and who gives out grants for environmental projects. Kirsty is torn, but has already committed to litter-picking at the fête and won't be able to man the stall. She'd rather be at the stand, and Lilian suggests she must find someone else to do her litter-picking. In the face of heavy persuasion Kirsty muses that there is someone who might be up for it. Lilian offers her a lift home: she is heading for The Stables to see if she can salvage something from the half-finished job George Grundy has abandoned, having promised four promotional videos, then gone on holiday and left her with only two.

Having been demoted to the Bridge Farm lazy weeder after his mistake yesterday, and then been told by Pat that they could manage without him for the rest of the week, Will is a bit late for Emma's celebration. He has brought a box of chocolates for her, and Ed, when asked, tells him George has not called her. Inside the house,'for she's a jolly good fellow' is sung [and for once not in perfect tune; this is rare for such a rendition on the radio. Chris] and Emma is invited to cut the cake but is happy for Ed to dish it out. The first slice is for Susan, who feels that any woman with a daughter who gets an 8 in English Literature (which Will says is 'basically an A*') deserves to get the first slice of cake in celebration of her excellent genes. Emma is being quiet, and both Ed and Susan notice this; she claims to be overwhelmed after having been nervous about this day for so long: now it's here and she's passed, she can't really take it in. Susan assures her that she's worked incredibly hard for this and deserves her 8, and should be very proud of herself. They are all proud of her. Neil sends Susan a message saying he's just left Berrow and asking them to save some cake for him, and then a text arrives for Emma: it's Lilian, wanting to know where she is. She offered to help with the promotional videos that George was in the middle of making, and can't believe she forgot: she has to go.

Denise wouldn't have guessed last August that she would be sitting in The Bull beer garden about to say yes to the let of a room at Willow Farm. Kirsty is very pleased she's definitely decided to go for it, and will get Roy to email all the details, the contract and everything, and in the meantime would like to toast her flatmate [Willow Farm is not a flat: it's a house. Chris], and to drink to many cups of tea among the Willow Farm hollyhocks. Denise thanks her for showing her round before she'd advertised it: she owes Kirsty one. Well, actually, Kirsty does have a cheeky favour to ask her: is there any chance she could do a stint of litter-picking at the fête? She explains why in detail, but need not have bothered; Denise would be delighted: she's sick of animals coming into the surgery injured by some stupid person flinging their litter out of the car window. It makes her so angry and, after that near miss with the heifer at Brookfield, she's more than happy to help Kirsty out.

At the curtailed party Susan thanks Ed for the cake, which was lovely; she'll take a piece with her for Neil if that's all right. After Emma left, Susan texted him to say she would see him at home, and he'll pop over tomorrow to congratulate Emma. As she is about to go Ed tells her he is quite worried about Em, who hasn't been herself for weeks; he's put it down to all sorts of things, to being tired or stressed or nervous about results day, and obviously she has George on her mind, but she can talk to Ed about all that. Susan assures him he's such a good step-dad. He goes on: whatever is really bothering Emma, she's bottling it up for some reason; he knows her, she's holding back and she's on the edge of tears half the time. Susan asks what he thinks it can be; he says rather desperately that he doesn't know but keeps thinking the worst: is it her health, or something going on with Keira, something she doesn't want him to know about? Susan's guess is that Emma is just overdoing it, trying to make things right for everyone and forgetting to look after herself. Susan can't see why Emma felt she had to finish George's filming, when it wasn't her responsibility; Ed is not going to tell her that, though. He's in an odd position when it comes to George: he thinks of him as a son, but never really feels comfortable laying down the law.

Still at The Bull, Kirsty calls Lilian over and tells her that since Denise has offered to cover for her, Kirsty will be able to attend Cantering On. Kirsty hopes to get a cheque for Rewilding Ambridge out of being there. Denise feels almost officially an Ambridge resident and thinks litter-picking is the least she can do. Lilian is very glad to hear she is moving into Willow Farm with Kirsty, and congratulates her. As Lilian is recounting the trouble she and Emma have had with the filming, Kirsty gets a call from Roy and moves off to talk to him, leaving Lilian and Dense to talk of Denise's affair with Alistair. When Kirsty comes back she has bad news to impart: Roy has decided that rather than renting out Willow Farm, he wants to put it on the market and release cash; Kirsty is mortified and apologises to Denise for getting her hopes up. Roy is pricing it for a super-quick sale so there isn't much point in Denise taking the room. Denise is resigned about it. Kirsty understands Roy has to put Lexi and her girls first, but she had no idea this was on the cards. Lilian expresses sympathy and says it will be a wrench for Kirsty to move out, and Kirsty speaks of moving back into Willow Farm after everything with Philip and how it was her safe space. Denise hopes she finds somewhere else, and as a consolation to herself says that this has proved to her that it is time to move out and move on; she will seriously start to look for somewhere else.

Emma tells Will that for about ten seconds during filming she managed to think about something other than George. She is feeling bad about Ed; Will suggests that maybe they should tell him, but Emma is not sure he wouldn't go off on one, and there is too much at stake. This morning he said that Adam isn't Brian's real son. It was just a passing comment and she knows he wasn't thinking of George, with which Will absolutely agrees: Ed has been great and has been there for George sometimes when Will couldn't be. Emma explains that it just made her feel that they are doing the right thing keeping that promise to George: the fewer people that know, the better. It will be different once he's owned up to it: Ed will be the first person they tell. At this critical moment Will's phone sounds: he has a message from George. 'He's coming home tomorrow!' Will exclaims, then reads on and realises George is not coming on his own. Will thinks Emma should sit down: she's really not going to like this.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 23rd August, 2024

For no readily-apparent reason we now have Clive Horrobin.

Characters: Paul, Lilian, Will, Emma, Clive, George
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

At The Bull, Paul and Lilian are celebrating National Plum Day by eating puddings made with plums. Paul inevitably speaks of himself and his being happier at work than he had been; Lilian is agreeable but off-hand, and he goes on a bit about it not being easy and his not knowing what to describe Alistair as being: not Denise's 'partner', which feels too serious, not boyfriend, which sounds like they're fifteen... Lilian suggests that Paul could just call him 'Alistair', about which Paul makes a feeble joke before asking how things are going and if all is ready for Sunday. Lilian tells him that Alice has been marvellous and has taken on the bulk of the work, which Paul thinks is great; Lilian reckons she is at the top of her game and is doing everything right, while also saying that she knows it is unhealthy to put Alice on a pedestal. Paul is as taken by the branding as Lilian; since he will get a free polo shirt as 'part of the team', he has chosen one in powder blue with the classic 'Ambridge Stables' motif: he thinks the font is gorgeous. He asks Lilian when he is on, what time they need him, and she outlines the schedule for the day; he is needed as soon as they open, for the youngsters' competitions; Justin will be judging the showjumping and equine art from midday so that might be a good time for Paul to take the dray to the fête, which pleases Paul because his mum is stuck there all day on litter-picking duty and he said he'd meet her for lunch. Lilian hopes he will then be able to be back at The Stables for the grand Prize-Winners' Photos at the end of the day. Paul is looking forward to it.

Will and Emma are waiting for George, who has been driven back to Ambridge. Will wants them inside quickly before anyone sees them and starts spreading rumours; Emma feels sick at the thought of speaking to Clive – for that is who walks in after George and says it's a pleasure to be back in Ambridge, to which Will dryly replies that he somehow doesn't think the feeling is mutual. Emma stages a tearful reunion with George: she missed him so much! [He left Ambridge on 19th August and has returned to it on 23rd, so it's hardly been that long a parting. Chris.] Clive reassures her and Will that there was no need to worry: George has a good head on his shoulders and knew who to call when the weather got stormy. George tells them that Uncle Clive came to get him straight away; Clive confirms that he was more than happy to help his nephew [George is his niece's son. Chris], whom he describes as 'a chip off the old block', to Emma's fury: she tells him never to say that and that George is nothing like him. George tells her to chill out, and she asks if he knows what 'this man' has done in his life. He's not some cuddly old rogue, if that's what George thinks. He's a convicted criminal who intimidated and threatened a lot of people in Ambridge. Clive coldly says that was a long time ago, and adds that a man can change. [It was eleven years ago, most recently. Chris.] And he's sly, Emma quickly adds. George is not to think for a second that Clive Horrobin is the answer to his problems. George's response is to say OK, and that he'll see her, as he stands up as if to leave. Emma exclaims 'don't go!' in alarm, and George tells her 'we' are obviously not welcome. Clive intervenes to tell George not to worry about him; he understands why Emma's angry, he did some bad things in his time. George leaps to his defence: Uncle Clive has been great. He's helped George, and he was the one who persuaded him to come home, and now look at her! She's on at him the minute they walk in the door! Carefully, Emma thanks Clive for bringing George home, and Clive takes this as an invitation to be nice about George, saying he is good company and they had a real laugh: just what the poor lad needs right now. Will finally breaks his silence to ask Clive what George has told him, and then to ask George what he's told him, but gets no answer because George chooses instead to reveal that Clive has been telling him about his near-death experience and how it changed him, which has Will flummoxed. Clive explains it was all those anger-management courses in prison, all those yoga classes and meditation; he took no notice until it was almost too late, then boom! a new road appeared before him and, hesays in a mystic-style voice, this journey is quite a ride. Dead-pan, Emma tells him they are happy for him, but unless he wants to face villagers with pitch-forks she suggests he gets in his car now, he drives away and he doesn't come back. George asks indignantly if she is not even going to offer him a drink or something to eat, but again Clive plays the peacemaker and says it's no problem. Will then suggests that he and Clive stick the kettle on while Emma helps George unpack upstairs, and Emma adds that she can then make Clive a sandwich to take with him when he goes, adding quietly that if they're lucky, he might choke on it.

Since Justin insisted on the awarding of medals [as opposed to rosettes, which is what the owner of any pony would want. Chris] Paul tells Lilian he has got Alice to order him vast quantities of medals so that he can make sure every child wins at least one: best hat, best-embellished horse, craziest costume, endless possibilities for celebrating each and every child, he says proudly. If that doesn't fit Justin's ideas, it's too late to change it now. Paul also plans to wear face-paint, applied by Chelsea.

George is being truculent and Emma denies being there to lecture him, which somewhat takes the wind out of his sails. She does however have a few things they need to get clear; 'here we go' says George. Emma tells him that for starters, they've had to lie to cover for him and told the family he went away with mates. When he asks why, she tells him that he absolutely cannot say that he went to stay with Clive. And his dad told Pat he was stressed about giving evidence and he needed a few days off. So now everyone at Bridge Farm thinks he's had some kind of a breakdown, is George's angry reaction to that, and Emma points out they couldn't tell them the truth or he might lose his job. George's comeback to that is that if he told the police, he wouldn't be needing a job: that's one advantage of being banged up, they feed you and they clothe you... Emma informs him that she and Will still think that going to the police is his best option, and predictably his response is a flat and loud 'No'. She tells him they do need to talk about this; he explains that he talked about it with Uncle Clive, so Emma asks sceptically what he had to say on the subject, only to learn that Clive's advice was to stay quiet until after Alice's trial; he said anything could happen, mistrial, lost evidence, failed disclosure or something like that, basically there's a good chance she'll get off. Emma tells him Clive has zero idea of the background or what Alice is facing. Sounding less sure of himself, George argues there's a chance she's found innocent or the charges are dropped and then he'll have thrown himself under the bus for nothing. That's what Clive said! Or Alice might go to prison, Emma insists, because of him. And when Alice remembers, at some point in the future, that it was George who sent Mick's car into the Am, he'll be in so much more trouble than if he confesses now. He should know all this! They've been through it! Did Clive have much to say about that? About perjury, or about common human decency? Crossly, George says he knew this was going to happen: he thought she said she wasn't going to lecture him? Emma is sorry; the thing is, they care about him, and she thinks they can confidently say that Uncle Clive does not. George falls back on asserting that she doesn't know anything; Emma knows she is not going to watch George ruin his whole future based on the advice of that vile specimen downstairs, which makes George laugh. Sharply she suggests that maybe she should just call the police herself. With desperation in his voice George challenges her to do it, just do it, but he won't hang around and she won't ever see him again. Sarcastically she suggests that his Uncle Clive will protect him; does George think Clive will look after him? That's exactly what he did, according to George; Emma tells him to believe her, Clive would drop him at the first sniff of real responsibility. She reminds George that he's never lived on his own, he barely cooks or cleans, he doesn't pay rent and they still pay for his mobile phone. That's the only reason he has money to buy designer clothes and beer. George insincerely says that he's sorry he's such a burden to her, and she tries to explain that's not what she is saying: will he actually listen for one minute? They love him, she says emphatically, and they want it to be OK, but running off will never make this OK; nothing has changed since they spoke on Sunday. George sulkily asks what she is saying, and she tells him that he needs to say 'goodbye' to Clive and then start telling the truth.

Whilst Emma and George are arguing Clive is going through the cupboards in Will's kitchen looking for the ingredients to make them all a home-cooked dhal after the service station grub he and George had on the way there. [So Clive lives quite a long way off. Chris.] Will tries to stop him, but Clive simply bulldozes over his unwilling host by telling him he has found some lentils and some garam masala, just as Emma comes back down and asks what he is doing. He says he is gathering ingredients for a store-cupboard curry, and Emma ignores him to tell Will she needs to talk to him. Clive asks for the 'lav' and Will tells him it's the first door at the top of the stairs, and when Emma worries that he might go in to George reassures her they will hear him if he does. Will tells her Clive is under the impression he is staying there, which leads to her saying 'over my dead body', and asks what George had to say; Emma tells him George is threatening to do another runner. She doesn't think they can do softly softly when it comes to the cult of Clive Horrobin, and Will agrees. He's told George that Alice might get off and George is better keeping quiet, and she's scared. Clive comes back in and claims that he finds cooking relaxing, almost meditative, especially accompanied by a decent red wine, so he'll pop down to the shop and get some. Emma pours cold water: does he have any idea what will happen if he goes out there, let alone to the shop, and Susan sees him? He admits that he probably needs to approach that one with caution, but suggests Emma could go, taking his card. He asks Will if Poppy eats dhal, and Emma tells him she doesn't. As he starts to get up to cook, Will finally forbids it, adding that he's not filling George's head with any more of his rubbish either. Clive asserts that George turning up was the universe telling Clive to catch up with his family. And that's why he's sticking round for a bit, to see a bit of his old dad. Emma informs him Bert is not there: he's away. She adds that Clive can't stay there, and when Clive remarks that it's Will's house, Will tells him that he feels the same. Clive mentions that he would book himself into a B&B but he's a bit short of the readies, so if they could see their way to chipping in... Emma tells him again that he needs to leave: get out. She means it. He tells her she can't upset him because the road he's taken is one of love, and forgiveness, life is short and past mistakes are ancient history. Not in Ambridge they're not, as far as Emma is concerned. Clive immediately demonstrates his love and forgiveness by telling her in his familiar threatening manner that she might just find that Ambridge gets to hear exactly what her darling son has been up to.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 25th August, 2024

It's 'never again' from Azra; everyone else is on repeat.

Characters: Joy, Azra, Lilian, Justin, George, Emma, Alistair, Alice
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The bookstall looks amazing; the idea of categorising the books (detective, romance, non-fiction and so on) seems quite new to Joy. Azra ascribes it to her desperate need to try to create order. Joy is in a bit of a state about the entire event, and Azra calms her down. That is, until Joy says she is a bit worried about Azra running an open surgery today as someone has told her is planned, at which point of course Azra hits the roof. No, she is not offering a consultation to everyone who buys a book [and a stupider idea it would be hard to imagine. Chris] and the doctor is most definitely not in. Joy rushes away to let people know this is a bookstall and not a doctor's surgery.

The 'ringmaster' costume Justin has been forced to wear for Cantering On greatly pleases Lilian, who gives the impression of never having seen him in it before [in spite of the video he and George made. Chris]. He takes advantage of the moment to press yet again for Alice to be kept in the background; Lilian will not countenance the idea. When he suggests that Carlotta would be an adequate substitute Lilian reminds him that Carlotta doesn't have the social skills Alice has, and is not capable of selling The Stables as Alice can. Carlotta can't even manage chit-chat; in fact, she barely speaks. When Justin starts to argue that you just have to put in a bit of effort with Carlotta, Lilian loses patience, says she is not having this conversation, and tells him to put his game face on and get on with it.

George resents having been brought along to the fête, which he says looks nothing like as good as other years. For some reason Emma is determined to make him stay, and suggests he could try the welly-wanging; she claims this is because she doesn't want him sitting in his room at home with the curtains closed, but he is of the opinion she just doesn't want him to hang out with his uncle Clive. She agrees that she doesn't want him to hang out with That Man – and would he please keep his voice down? George loudly protests that Clive's not even there while Dad is paying for a B&B which, by the way, George doesn't get at all when he could just sleep on the sofa. Emma explains, clearly not for the first time, that she and Will don't want him anywhere near George and Poppy. George tells her that he's all right really, when you get to know him, and she says patiently that no, he is not 'all right'; trust her, George doesn't know him at all, so George is not to start thinking he does, or believing any of Clive's mystical flannel. He got Nana sent to prison, for goodness sake! Doesn't that mean anything to George? Of course it does, George agrees, but at once adds that it doesn't mean everything, not after thirty years. What about forgiveness, and redemption? he asks, parroting Clive. Emma protests that Clive has done nothing to redeem himself and, when George argues that he helped George out, didn't he, makes it clear she believes he has an ulterior motive. George wants to know why she can't just give Clive a chance, and Emma tells him to stop talking about this here. When he says no-one is listening, she informs him that someone is always listening, and he accuses her of being paranoid. She reminds him that he mustn't say anything to anyone: not that Clive's back, not that he's helped him, nothing. He knows; she's said it about a million times; she hisses that's because he still doesn't get it, and he argues that he does, he gets it. People in this village are actually scared of Clive, continues Emma, still trying to get the point across, whereupon George argues that they don't need to be, that's his point, and Emma tells him it's like talking to a brick wall. It's not just the post office, as if that wasn't bad enough, there's other things too. It now emerges that George asked Clive about hurting the horses, and Clive said it wasn't true; when Emma points out that Clive was convicted, George tells her Clive said it was a miscarriage of justice. Emma produces the immortal 'He would say that, wouldn't he?' George falls back on asserting that even if it was true, Clive is different now. 'Cos of his near death experience, scoffs Emma. George says 'Yes!' emphatically, and Emma scornfully says that probably didn't even happen; when asked why Clive would make something like that up, she snaps that it would be because he's a pathological liar, as well as being a convicted criminal. This last is a mistake, because George at once tells her he will be a convicted criminal if he does what she and Will want him to do. He thinks Uncle Clive's right; he thinks he should just see how things pan out. Emma begs him again not to take advice from That Man, and, when George cries out that Clive talks a lot of sense, says no, he doesn't. But they should talk about this later, when they're not surrounded by half the village.

At the book stall, Alistair greets Azra and sympathises with her about not giving medical advice except in surgery; he gets this too, as a vet. He then spots a Lee Child that he hasn't read, and Azra, who has read it, recommends it, so he buys it for a quid. He then has to get over to The Stables, taking the dray shuttle.

Rani Pershore has turned up at The Stables, to Lilian's delight; she is looking for livery for her four horses. Justin wants to keep Alice away from her, but as he and Lilian are arguing that one yet again Alice comes over, and it turns out she knows Rani because she sold her horse Banjo to her. Lilian encourages her to go and talk to Rani, while Justin splutters that Lilian should be the one to seal the deal; at Alice's suggestion, they both go. Lilian tells off Justin to go and do his 'lord of the games' stint on the brewery dray.

One of the junk musical instruments has been accidentally thrown away by Joy, or possibly Denise, and Joy tells Emma she has had to go through the rubbish looking for the bassoon. Joy is standing in for people on their stalls so they can have a wander round the fête. As the two women chat, George comes up and tells Emma he is going to go, having wanged a welly, guessed the pig's weight and eaten a fairy cake. Joy seems to be sympathetic to his point of view, but Emma excuses herself and runs after him. It turns out that she needs him to reassure her that he hasn't mentioned Clive, which 'of course' he hasn't. She saw him talking to Susan and got worried; George feels that she is sure to find out Clive is there in the end. Emma hopes that he may just go before then, but George is certain Clive is not going anywhere and shouldn't have to. This is where he grew up; this is where his family is; Emma has just got to get over it. [And Emma doesn't ask which of Clive's family, of the five still resident in Ambridge, George thinks might remotely want to see Clive. Chris.]

Rani has agreed to put her horses at livery in The Stables and Alice is over the moon about it. Lilian attributes it all to Alice, telling her she has her father's savvy and her mother's warmth, which almost makes Alice cry. Alistair, who has just got there, comes up to them and is full of praise for the dray, and for Justin's costume and demeanour. Lilian says that she would be quite happy for him to wear that outfit all the time, and cackles salaciously. Alistair reports that the fête seems really busy too, so it's a good day all round, he'd say.

It seems that the people of Ambridge are litter-louts, because Joy and Azra are united about it having been heartbreaking to see how much rubbish Denise had to pick up. Still, Joy feels it all went so well – apart from the mess. Azra offers to give her a hand clearing up, and Joy doesn't turn the offer down, just saying Azra will need gloves, and pointing out the bin bags. She has had to send Denise home, she's done so much all day. She asks what Azra has done with her left over books and discovers that there weren't any [OK, it is now official: The Archers has jumped the shark. Chris] because Azra worked on the guilt of people who came to her asking for free medical advice; Joy seems mortified, but Azra says it was absolutely fine. Joy feels she should have made an announcement, but she didn't get to it; Azra understands that she had enough on her plate. In a despairing voice, Joy says that Lynda is already talking about next year's fête; to Azra's incredulous 'no!' Joy replies that Lynda can't help herself, and in fact she thinks Azra will be a victim of her own success today. Azra asks what she means, and Joy explains that she sold out of books, she is clearly a natural, and someone might want her back next year. Azra's 'no' this time is emphatic and followed by no way, never again and the declaration that this was a one off. Joy teases her that that's what they all say.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 26th August, 2024

Rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat, apologies, and some Looming of minor interest.

Characters: Clive, George, Harrison, Alistair, Laura, Susan
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

In the garden at 1, The Green, Clive is making a meal of doing some yoga, and trying to talk George into joining him; he gripes that his room at the B&B is not big enough to do the Balasana, or anything else. He thinks the B&B is a bit of a dive, and complains about Will and Emma not inviting him to stay. George is knackered after work, and reveals that Will covered for him last week and seems to have made a mess of it. Clive asks how long Will has been working on farms now, and George replies 'only twenty-five years or more' [which is rubbish: Will worked as a gamekeeper between 1999 and 2019, and George must know this. Chris] but George thinks he must have been quite stressed about George going away. Clive assures George he is all right now: he's got his uncle Clive looking after him.

At the evening session of the cricket camp for the under-16s, Harrison and Alistair discuss the fête; Alistair says the Stables event was good too, but Harrison rather pointedly didn't get to that. He bought a book about cricket coaching from Azra, and Alistair thinks he might need to borrow it. The turnout is good, but he's had a bit of a nightmare with one of the kids, Cassie, who's got an Attitude. Sassy Cassie, in fact. Harrison offers to have a word with her and Alistair doesn't see why not: she's not listening to Alistair.

George has now broken out beers for himself and Clive, but will have to nip to the shop to replace them. [Beer after yoga; a healthy mind in a slarmy body... Chris.] This is because he doesn't want to upset Will, who is really on his case to go to the police. He and George's mum go on and on about it, and they are doing his head in. Clive advises him to tell them to back off, then asks if he wants Clive to talk to them; George isn't sure. He just wants it to go away, the whole nightmare of it. Does Clive really think he's doing the right thing by staying quiet? because it doesn't necessarily feel like the right thing. Clive tells him he's just got to hold his nerve, and George whines yet again that he doesn't want to go to prison, whereupon Clive reiterates yet again that he's got to keep schtum. George adds a new twist: he doesn't want Alice to go to prison either. Clive says, honestly enough, that he's told him and he's told him that someone like her, those kind of people, they get off all the time 'cos they've got money. [Which explains why the only old lag of George's acquaintance apart from Clive is Freddie, who is one of 'those kind of people'. Chris] You don't get wealthy people in prison, Clive pontificates with wild disregard for accuracy. George quibbles that he doesn't know how wealthy Alice actually is, but that cuts no ice with Clive: she must have a share in that farm. George reluctantly admits she does, but manages to remember that even if she is a billionaire, which obviously she's not, she didn't actually do the crime, to which Clive at once comes back to tell him that neither did he. This is too much even for George, who protests that he did. Clive tells him didactically that the crash was an accident, but George recalls the lying and everything; Clive, having no actual answer to this, instructs him to stop torturing himself, because it's getting a bit ... frustrating. George hears the hint of steel and apologises repeatedly: he didn't mean to be annoying. [He's breathing, isn't he? Gus.] Clive repeats with emphasis that Alice Aldridge is not going to go to prison; their sort do not go to prison. Having decided that she is not really an Aldridge any more but still a Carter, George proclaims that he doesn't know what to do, and Clive gives up on him. Clive can't keep saying the same thing over and over [in the name of whatever God they worship, would someone please tell this to the scriptwriters and editor? Chris] and he can't keep trying to save George from himself. If George wants to go to the police, then go! When George stammers that he doesn't, he doesn't want to go to the police, Clive tells him to stop going on and on: he's as bad as his mother. Enjoy your beer, Clive adds bitterly, enjoy the last days of summer, live in the moment. George apologises again, and Clive advises that he should go with the flow and let the river take him where it will; this flummoxes George, who (after a pause) says yeah, he supposes. Clive realises this is probably not the right metaphor, and sniggers.

At the cricket camp Laura (from Little Croxley) approaches Alistair, who first fails to remember why he knows her and then discovers from her that she is Cassie's mother; fortunately this is before he has told her that her child's behaviour has been atrocious. It turns out that her mother too calls her Sassy Cassie, and that Laura did send her under duress; she is sorry if her child has behaved badly. Alistair asks her please not to talk to Cassie: there's no need because in the end she was really engaged, and he doesn't want her to get put off. He tries hard to exonerate the child, while her mother insists she would much rather know the truth. He ends up saying firmly that the truth is she could be a fairly decent cricketer with good hand to eye co-ordination, good reactions, and a great runner, so if Laura is going to say anything to her, say that. Laura tells him that is kind, and when he says he means it snipes gently: he means he's not just feeling guilty about their lousy date? He asks guiltily if it was that bad and she tells him that it was quite bad, for which he immediately apologises, and she asks how things are going with his 'situationship'; he gushes a bit about it being good and them being together now so it's all official, she professes herself really glad and tells him that 'she' is a lucky woman.

While she is shopping in a supermarket in Borchester Susan has a nasty shock: she is greeted in an ingratiating manner by Clive. She asks what he is doing in Borchester, and he says it has been too long, hasn't it, to which she manages to reply coherently that it hasn't; it hasn't been long enough.

Laura now thinks she'd better get going, calls her child and tells Alistair it was lovely to see him and she will see him next Sunday at the cricket. Harrison then comes over and starts to make heavy-handed comments about the encounter, calling him the Valentino of the village. Alistair takes it well, laughing too but becoming somewhat defensive at the suggestion Denise might want to know he has another woman waiting in the wings. He tells Harrison that Sassy Cassie is Laura's daughter, and that's what Laura calls her too. He wonders what Harrison said to Cassie to alter her behaviour after the break, but Harrison isn't saying: they just had a chat. Alistair enviously remarks that he is so brilliant with kids, then tries to correct it to Harrison being good with people in general, obviously, maybe it's his job, plus apologies for having said anything and a self-accusation of idiocy. [If nobody is ever to speak of children or be a child in Harrison's vicinity he's really going to put a damper on life in the village. Chris.] Harrison says it's all right, but Alistair is determined to be in the wrong and insists that it wasn't, it was a really stupid thing to say. This forces Harrison to say he's doing all right, he's doing better, and gives Alistair the opportunity to say he's glad to hear it, so Harrison can then say that yeah, he is good with kids but it's not going to be a thing for him and Fallon. Alistair apologises again, or perhaps just expresses regret. Harrison sighs and says it's just one of those things. For some reason Alistair can't let it go and tells Harrison it must have been really difficult with everything that's happened, and Harrison is able to do some more self-pitying disclaiming: yeah, it was, but he thinks they're getting there.

In the supermarket Clive is following Susan around and trying to force her into conversation, while she tries to do her shopping and ignore him, telling him to stop following her or she'll tell the security guard. He wants her to go and have a coffee with him; she doesn't want to, and anyway doesn't drink coffee after midday. He takes to criticising what she puts in her trolley, and she tells him she does not want advice on nutrition and he is to shut up and leave her alone. As she gets shrill, he puts on a reasonable and caring voice, telling her that he knows it's a shock to see him, and he wasn't planning on bumping into her in a supermarket, but they're there now and basically he's back because he wants to see their dad. Susan doesn't believe a word of it, and Clive piles it on: because Dad's not gerrin [sic. Chris] any younger; Susan, in mock surprise, asks if he just realised that. He claims to be different now; her reply is that he would say that, wouldn't he [a line Emma also used, on Sunday 25th August; Ms Hims ought not to repeat her effects quite so immediately, I feel. Chris]. He affects to be hurt: can't she see? Doesn't he look different? She looks at him and says 'not particularly.' He says that he's lost weight ('so what? rejoins Susan) and he's really looking after himself; she tells him she doesn't care. He's enlightened, he says in a low, earnest voice; she can't believe what she is hearing and says 'what?' incredulously, so he repeats it as if to an idiot: he's enlightened. She laughs at him and asks what on earth that is supposed to mean; he doesn't expect her to necessarily gerrit [sic. Chris] 'cause it's hard to explain, but he had this profound near-death experience, he tells her in a voice shaking with emotion, whereupon she asks if that's a joke. He responds in a hurt voice that he is serious, and Susan asks if there are cameras on her or something. He doesn't understand, she goes on; he claims that he does, but she denies this: no, he doesn't. He's caused too much damage and he can't just waltz back into their lives 'cause he discovered healthy eating and a sudden need to see his elderly father. They don't want him anywhere near them.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 27th August, 2024

Justin pries, Brad tries to Bradsplain statistics and George denies everything.

Characters: Justin, Emma, Fallon, Susan, Tracy, Brad, George
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Because of being stressed, Emma quite fails to give Justin properly servile treatment when he complains that his coffee is cold, instead pointing out that he was talking with someone for ten minutes so a flat white would be likely to lose its heat. She tells him that Tom and Natasha wouldn't thank her for giving away free coffees, and declines to replace it for him, though she does offer to heat it in the microwave. He fulminates that he is not paying nearly four pounds for a microwaved coffee, and has started to make even more of a fuss when Fallon materialises, sends Emma to fill the dishwasher in the 'chaotic' kitchen, and offers Justin a fresh cup of coffee and a complimentary croissant, to be brought to him at his table in the orchard.

Susan is recounting her terrible experience in the supermarket to Tracy, who wonders what on earth possessed Clive to come back after all this time. Susan has gathered he is staying in a B&B in Borchester, so he must have some money. He has told her about having had a near-death experience, but she has no idea what it was, as she tells Tracy when Tracy questions it. Susan told him that she wasn't listening and didn't want to hear it, only then he followed her around and even insisted on helping to pack her shopping, though she tried to stop him. She didn't want a drama so she didn't manage to stop him; she just wanted to get away. Tracy murmurs her sympathy. Susan asks tearfully why Clive couldn't have just stayed away. Tracy has grasped that he wants to see Dad – 'yeah, he wants to reconnect with his father before it's too late' Susan says cynically. Tracy adds that Clive knows Dad's away right now, but Susan pricks that bubble: he said he can wait and he's in no rush. Tracy asks if he knows Dad is back tomorrow; Susan exclaims that she didn't tell him that! They contemplate telling Bert to stay away a bit longer but not tell him why. Tracy wonders what's in it for Clive; Susan has no idea, but Clive's always got a motive. And as Tracy says, Dad can't stay at Gary's forever; Susan notes that Clive probably can't afford to stay at the B&B forever either. They wonder where he is getting his money from, and don't credit for one moment that he has changed. In any case, the longer Bert stays away the longer Clive is likely to hang about, and Susan is not happy about people knowing he's back; she has told Emma, and naturally Neil. She isn't sure about Tracy's suggestion they should warn people: who? And what would they say?

Emma is crashing cutlery around when Fallon asks her what that was all about with Justin, and is still ruffled: Fallon knows what he's like, so superior and annoying! Fallon comments that it's not just him: Emma has been stressed out for days. Emma apologises, but when Fallon asks if everything is all right claims that it is, well, sort of. Fallon sympathetically wants to know what's wrong, and Emma claims that it's stressful starting a new business; Fallon thought it was going well, and Emma agrees that it is, but then adds she is worried about George. Fallon anxiously asks what's happening with George, and Emma finds it impossible to explain exactly what's going on, but falls back on him being very nervous about going to court and that it's not Fallon's problem. Fallon suggests that a problem shared 'and all that', but Emma just says it's OK and she's OK but she's sorry: she didn't mean to lose it with Justin. Fallon passes it all off by saying with a laugh that at least she didn't yell at Jim or Jill or someone, which she knows Emma would never do, and implores her to try not to worry so much; also she is to reassure George because he did a wonderful thing and the whole court will be on his side. Emma then has to answer her phone – to George. He is in the van, doing deliveries, and he wondered if she'd heard from Clive. It seems that Clive just called George, quite upset because Susan was awful to him at the supermarket. Emma seems not to be that bothered.

Tracy is wondering if they could bribe Clive to leave, though Susan asks with what; where would this money come from? Tracy knows that haven't much, but if the two of them and Will, and maybe Emma and Ed if things are going well... Susan breaks in: they are not giving that man money. He doesn't deserve it. He hasn't earned it. And once they start where would it stop? Tracy admits she's just clutching at straws. Then Brad comes in asking what there is to eat, and Susan asks if he knows; about Uncle Clive, he asks, and Tracy tells Susan that she told him: she didn't really know how they could hide it. Susan asks him to keep the matter secret, then tells him that she trusts him completely. Brad having asked how she was, she now tells him she's pretty stressed out because Clive wants to see Brad's grandad. 'To reconnect' puts in Tracy. Brad doesn't see how they can really stop him; Tracy tells him that's what they are trying to figure out. Susan tells Brad that he's clever, he can help them out, but Brad is looking at the other side of it: if Grandad wants to see Clive too... Tracy explains that he doesn't know Clive is back, yet, with Susan adding sententiously that what the eye doesn't see, the heart doesn't grieve over. Brad sticks to his guns: hasn't Grandad got the right to see his son? Tracy tells him it's not about that, and Susan explains that it should be about that, but when it comes to Clive, it's not. Then there is a ring at the door, and Susan is on edge at once: what if that's him? Brad offers to get it, but Tracy goes.

Having got his own way and one over on Emma, Justin is happy to say that his coffee was absolutely perfect. He then tells Fallon that he's heard a rumour she might pitch for one of the units at the charging station; reluctantly she admits that's right, but says she can't really talk about it in the tea room. He laughs that there are only two old biddies and a Jack Russell there who might hear them, and wants to know the gist of what she's planning. She tells him she has been reading tons about the environmental cost of meat and dairy farming so she is thinking of opening somewhere meat and dairy free. Justin exclaims that is bold, and she explains that's what she is passionate about, that's where her heart lies, and she really thinks she could make it work. She thinks there is a kind of sea-change going on and the demand is there. Justin makes an affirmative noise, which she takes to mean that he thinks it's a terrible idea. [Or he could be starting to choke to death. Gus.][I wish. Chris.]

When Tracy offers George a quick cuppa, Susan rebukes her: he's supposed to be working. Ignoring her, Brad offers George some toast, which he accepts. Susan asks whether they are not going to miss George at Bridge Farm, but he is sanguine: not really, it seems, because they know he had a delivery for the shop; Susan remarks that Tracy's house is not the shop. She doesn't want him to lose his job, after being away all last week. George protests that it was only half the week, and Brad hands him some toast. Susan continues to talk about George taking time off work and Pat fuming about it, but George ignores her and asks Brad what he is doing tonight; George wants to go to the cinema, but Brad was going to see Mia. Brad suggests the three of them could go, George says he doesn't want to crash Brad's date, and Tracy hands him his tea with the comment that she thought he was Clive when the door went. Susan claims her heart started going again and Tracy says hers did too; George says he doesn't really get what the big deal is with Clive. Susan is scathing: oh, doesn't he? George feels they should at least give him a chance, because maybe he really has changed. The two women unite to say he doesn't know what Clive is like; Brad is more interested in working out that he could see Mia tomorrow night instead and neither teenager asks the women what their view is on what Clive is like, nor asks for examples as to why he should be disliked. When Susan asks suspiciously if George has seen Clive he hastily denies having done so, saying he just feels bad for him; Brad chimes in to say he feels a bit bad for him too, and when Tracy exclaims in exasperation George asks, what if Clive died? Tracy asks why Clive is going to die, and George has no idea but heard he had a near-death experience... Tracy says he's not likely to have another one then, Brad starts to call the statistical odds but is rightly suppressed by Tracy, and George says that he thinks they should at least give Great Grandad the choice over whether he sees his own son. Brad agrees. George persists, what if Bert found out too late that he missed the chance? He'd be really upset, wouldn't he. Susan has no time for this reasoning, but Tracy feels they need to think about it for a minute and put themselves in Bert's shoes: if he finds out later that Clive was here and then Clive disappears again, Dad might be heartbroken. Susan's last word on the subject is that they just have to make sure Bert never finds out, then, but Tracy wants to know how on earth they would do that.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 28th August, 2024

Clive thinks he's on a charm offensive; everyone but Bert hears offensive smarm.

Characters: George, Clive, Brad, Tracy, Susan
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Reporting in to Clive, George tells him he is going to the cinema in Felpersham with Brad, and Clive tells him everything is brilliant and he has George to thank. George doesn't understand, so Clive explains: he doesn't know what George said to Susan and Tracy but obviously he played it perfectly, because Bert got back this afternoon and Clive is going round there now. George expresses slightly bewildered happiness for him. Clive tells George he is the only one who's got any faith in Clive, and George sees Brad coming and says he has to go. Clive tells him to buy them some popcorn on him, and he will pay George back for it. George volunteers the information that it was Uncle Clive on the phone, and Brad asks why Clive was calling him: the explanation that Clive just wanted a bit of help with something doesn't satisfy him and he wants to know what, and then how come Clive has George's number..

While offering Clive a cup of tea, Tracy just wants to make one thing clear: she's not doing this for him, she's doing it for Dad. Clive claims to get that and to respect it; Tracy doesn't care if he respects it, and Clive sanctimoniously tells her she's got to let go of some of her hostility, which makes her laugh at him. He adds that it's not for his sake but for her own: it's not good for her. She huffs an exasperated breath as he tells her that these negative emotions take their toll, and then remarks contemptuously that Susan said he's gone mystical. Dad's in the garden, and if Clive goes outside she'll bring them a cuppa and a biscuit. He can't stop long, though, because she's got to go out in a bit; Clive offers to look after Dad while she goes out and enjoys herself, but there is no way she's leaving him on his own in her house, so he can forget that. He sighs that she is being hostile again, and informs her that it's not just Dad he wants to reconnect with, it's her and Susan too; they're his sisters. Tracy reminds him that he wasn't too worried about Susan being his sister when she got sent to prison. He claims that he was, and Susan going to prison is one of the biggest regrets of his life, but Tracy doesn't believe him, or a word he says.

The popcorn bought by George on Clive's say-so [does anyone really think Clive is going to pay for it? Chris] should be seen as Brad's going-away present, according to George, but since Brad is going to Felpersham he is not in fact going away. The film George has selected is about three hours long.

Clive has been at 6, The Green for about three hours, according to Tracy, who was meant to be going out with Jazzer to the pub. Susan is surprised Bert is still awake, and thinks Tracy should have kicked Clive out and gone to the pub. Tracy says she couldn't because Dad is so thrilled; apparently he nearly cried when he first saw Clive. This shocks Susan: the only time she ever saw Bert cry was at Mum's funeral. Furthermore, she can't believe that Clive genuinely wants to 'connect with his family'. For a moment Tracy weakens and wonders if he does, but Susan is having none of it: no, no, no! Tracy must not be taken in! Resist! The most suspicious thing for Susan is, why now? It's so sudden. Tracy mentions the near-death thing; oh, the sign that was a sign, scoffs Susan, but Tracy feels that if a heavy metal sign fell on your head it could easily kill you, and Clive said it missed him by millimetres. Susan reckons he just made it up, but Tracy is not sure: she reckons it's too ridiculous. They agree that they are about ready for bed, and Clive conveniently comes in just then and greets Susan, asking what she is doing there, whereat she mutters that she could say the same to him; he starts to tell them about having had the loveliest evening with Dad, and Tracy pointedly says 'goodbye' to him. He says he'll see her tomorrow, since Dad has asked him to stay about and spend some more time with him. Tracy is outraged, because that was not the deal, but Clive ignores her and suggests they all do something nice together at the weekend. His two sisters refuse to consider the idea. He pleads that it would mean so much to Dad, and it would be like old times, and when Tracy incredulously asks what old times, he says when they were kids. She puts him straight on that: he's living in a fantasy. Susan points out to him that it is late, she and Tracy are tired, and some of them have to work tomorrow. He says sullenly that he'll get going and leave them in peace; Susan doubts he has ever left anyone in peace, to which he responds that Dad is looking pretty peaceful [and a lot of listeners devoutly hope Bert has popped his clogs. Chris] – he's fast asleep in his chair. He loved seeing Clive, and Tracy would have prevented that if she could, he says, in his nasty voice; Tracy retorts that they didn't, and Clive fires back that they tried hard enough [how does he know that? He was told as soon as his dad was home, and saw him that evening. No obstacle was put in his way. Chris] [Villain's off-screen telepathy. Sparrer]; Susan tells him she thinks he should leave, and he informs her that Dad said this is the happiest he's been for ages and these hours with him were precious, and Clive thinks the least they can do is put their differences of opinion aside. Tracy is blunt: it's not about differences of opinion; Susan is blunter: it's about Clive being a consistent let-down. Tracy puts in 'a nightmare, basically'. Clive says that at least he knows where he stands now, and Susan can't think why he didn't know it before. He thinks they're both very selfish, and Tracy has started to think he might be insane. He shouts that he is starting to wonder what's the point? What's the point in him going to all this effort to turn his life around if he can't see his family, he asks emphatically but rhetorically.

In the car home, George thanks Brad for coming tonight because he knows it wasn't really Brad's sort of film, though Brad claims he liked it, and indeed likes all films. George reveals that sometimes he wishes he was Brad, which makes Brad laugh, but George insists he really does, and when asked why says that Brad's future is so exciting and he's going on this massive adventure... Brad interrupts and says no, he isn't, he's staying in Ambridge. George says he'll be meeting new people and being in a whole other world, but Brad disagrees: he is just going to go to uni, come home, and see Mia on the weekends when they can, if she wants to. George is indignant on his behalf, but Brad is being realistic: he's not sure how often they'll be able to see each other or how it will work. They will both want to concentrate on their degrees. George talks of stuff to do, opportunities, parties; Brad asseerts he isn't going to go to them. George feels that is a waste, but Brad explains that he doesn't really drink and he's not going to uni for the parties, so it's not a waste at all. George persists in his assertion that it's a waste, a waste of Brad's freedom: he'll be free. Brad says that George will be free too, and George says 'maybe' in a rather downbeat tone.

When Brad gets home Tracy greets him, and asks how the film was: he replies it was terrible, but don't tell George. He asks how Clive was, but Tracy doesn't want to talk about it. Brad is concerned, and asks if she is OK; she shrugs it all off and says she's just tired and might go to bed. Jazzer's at the pub, Bert's in bed and Chelsea's at her mate's. Brad decides he'll stay up for a bit and watch a film to wash away the other one. As Tracy prepares to go up to bed, Brad asks whether George seems OK to her, and when she asks why tells her that George said something really weird to him: he said he wished he was Brad. he said he was jealous. But he's never, ever been jealous of Brad.

Clive walks over from 6, The Green to 1, The Green, where George is putting out the bin. George asks how his evening with Bert went and Clive says he can't lie [reeeaally? Chris]; it was a mixed bag. It was amazing to see his dad, and when Bert hugged him he had this profound feeling of coming home, and Bert having tears in his eyes, well, that means something and just shows you he did the right thing coming back [but hang on – George thought he was there to help George. He needs to keep his story straight. Chris]; the love a man has for his son and a son has for his father goes deep, you know, and he wishes Susan and Tracy would see that. George agrees, but his heart doesn't seem to be in it. Clive muses that there might be something seriously wrong with those two, and when George asks how he means, says they've got so hard, both of them, so cold and heartless. George tries to enter a caveat, but Clive asserts strongly that they have, and they never used to be like that. He thinks they've changed: he's changed for the better and they've changed for the worse. George doesn't know about that, but Clive overrides him: Susan took him in all those years ago and she didn't have to do that, but she did it; she wouldn't do it now. George manages to voice his protest: yes, but his Nana went to prison for that! Clive acknowledges that was regrettable, of course, and George continues: George's mum was a little girl. Clive mutters that Susan wasn't in for that long, but George says it was long enough to have a pretty big effect on her, and on George's mum. They don't talk about it much, but when they do they get really upset. Clive repeats that it was regrettable, but that's what family do for each other, they stick their necks out and they make the effort. George, greatly daring, asks what effort Clive has made for Susan and Tracy, and Clive claims, a massive one: he's been very friendly since he got back. When George starts to say that's not really what he meant, Clive replies somewhat threateningly that he doesn't want to fall out with George, and all he's saying is he's surprised he hasn't had a warmer welcome after all these years. That's all he wanted. And today, he's made a decision. He's done with hiding. And he doesn't think he should have to listen to people who won't listen to him. So he's going to go where he likes, and talk to who he likes, because he's done apologising, he's just done.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 29th August, 2024

It's been a while, for both Clive and Harrison.

Characters: Clive, Joy, Fallon, Harrison, Kate
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

As the bell on the door jangles, Clive walks into the shop and strikes up a conversation with Joy, who is not reluctant to have a chat about inconsequentialities. He claims not to know whether to buy chocolate or cigarettes, then tells her the shop has really come on from the way he remembers it when he was a child and came in to steal the penny chews. Joy has already told him she is a newcomer, and now describes theft from a shop as a rite of passage before asking if he's local, or at least used to be. Clive tells her it's been a while.

Harrison is cooking chilli tofu and noodles when Fallon gets in, and is trying to get into the no-dairy-nor-meat vibe; when she tells him he doesn't have to join her in the madness, he assures her that it's not madness; she says loads of people think it is and he comments 'not Justin Elliott', to which she agrees, saying she was amazed he was so into the idea. And he genuinely seemed to believe it could make a good business. Harrison is of the opinion that of course it could, and it's also brilliant because she won't be in competition with the tea room or The Bull, but will offer something completely different. Fallon reckons that's handy in lots of ways, because she doesn't want to compete with Natasha or her mother. Anyway, it's exciting; Harrison reckons it's done her good, planning and dreaming and generally being glad to be alive. Fallon hopes it has never been that bad, and Harrison assures her it hasn't, but adds that they have been pretty low, with which she agrees. He offers her a glass of crisp white wine: he doesn't know if it goes with tofu. She volunteers to deal with the wine, because he is cooking, and asks how his day was; the answer is it was good, but uneventful, but uneventful is good. She'll drink to that.

It seems Clive thinks he has made a decision, and is about to buy one real ale and one lager; Joy asks him to let her know which one he prefers. He says he certainly will. She asks if there is anything else he'd like, and he ponders on crisps; the bell rings as he says they have a really good selection. Joy looks up and greets Kate, who says cheerfully that she was afraid the shop might already have shut. Clive engages Joy in crisp discussion for a few sentences, until Kate, disbelieving, addresses him by name. He doesn't know who she is, but she says slowly that he is Clive Horrobin, and Joy asks cheerily if the two know each other. Clive doesn't think so, but Kate is in no doubt: they do. He claims not to recognise her at all, and says it's been a long while since he lived in Ambridge. She tells him quietly that she is the bitch, which startles him; Joy asks her what's going on and who this is. Kate offers to introduce them both: Clive, this is Joy. She's lovely. Joy, this is Clive. He's horrible. He held up the village post office and kept her, and several others, hostage. Kate was fifteen years old and he held a gun to her face and called her a bitch [to be fair, she was. Gus]. Clive loudly interrupts with the words 'I'm sorry' and adds that he didn't realise who she was, did he. No, clearly, Kate says levelly. In a voice of controlled anger he says it was a long time ago, and Kate retorts that he knew who she was then, and he knew she was fifteen, and he scared them all half to death. Joy intervenes: OK, Clive needs to leave the shop. He starts to say 'hang on a minute' and 'let's not be too hasty', but Joy says the one word, 'Now' with finality in her voice. He needs to leave now, and she's not serving him. He says that's not right, and she explains she had no idea who he was. Clive argues that a man can change, and Kate asks if he can, and can Clive? Because she looks at him and feels a sort of rising panic. Clive tells her not to panic, just (he inhales loudly) breathe! Kate can't believe her ears. Don't tell her to breathe. Clive starts to instruct her how to breathe and she informs him sharply that she knows breathing techniques: she teaches breathing techniques. Joy intervenes again: please will Clive just leave. Clive tells her that he needs to talk to Kate, but Joy returns that Kate has made it clear she doesn't want to talk to him. In his most reasonable voice Clive asks Kate to listen, sweetheart (which she instantly forbids him to call her), he's changed, he's a changed man, OK? He does yoga! Utter scorn is in Kate's voice as she repeats this claim: him? He does yoga? Clive, still the reasonable man, says they've got things in common, and he's heard she runs a whole like retreat kind of place; he was thinking he could come along to one of her classes even. It might be healing for both of them. Kate asks if he is out of his mind. [The answer to that is 'yes'; we just don't yet have the diagnosis. Chris.]

Having had a glass of wine, and aware that, since she hasn't had time at work to eat lunch, it will go straight to her head, Fallon starts to bemoan no longer being her own boss, but is comforted by Harrison saying it won't be long now; when she says she had better not count her chickens he makes a joke about the whole endeavour being poultry-free and she calls him an idiot and giggles. A really lovely, handsome idiot. She then announces they need a holiday, somewhere hot, somewhere romantic, somewhere they can just forget everything that's happened – and just have loads of sex, she adds with a splutter of laughter. Harrison was not expecting that. She then asks him to kiss her, and after he has asks if he thinks the dinner will keep. He is confused. Don't get him wrong, he's keen, but what's changed? She thinks she is just sick of being miserable, isn't he? He tells her that he thought they were doing pretty well lately, and she points out that they haven't slept together, well, properly, since... Harrison feels that was because she didn't want to, and she claims it wasn't because she didn't want to, she was scared of another, um, accident. He understands that. He realises that he is ruining the moment but he needs to know what's happened: is she not scared any more? She says that she is scared, she is, but she doesn't want to carry on like this, it feels awful, and a bit mad, and unnecessary, and she really loves him, and she really fancies him, and she just... wants to go to bed. [She is drunk, isn't she. And I notice he did not at any point tell her that she was sexy: this was entirely a one-way transaction. Chris.]

Mr Nice Guy is out of the window and Clive shouts that there is something very wrong with this village. Joy shouts back that there is nothing wrong with the village, it's very nice; now get lost. The shop door slams behind him and Joy asks if Kate is all right; Kate says in surprise that she is shaking and thinks she is going to fall over. Joy hastily puts a seat behind her. Kate is badly shaken; she didn't realise, when she came in she didn't realise straight away, it was while he was talking about crisps and she recognised his voice. Joy apologetically says she had no idea at all, but Kate asks why she would. Joy had heard of the robbery, and Kate assures her she couldn't possibly have known it was him. Joy knows that but still, seeing him in there, for Kate! Kate whispers that was so scary... Joy congratulates her that she didn't act scared, and Kate, perking up, says she knows, she knows! Joy is so sorry that happened to her, and she was very young; Kate tells her there was a moment when they thought Jack was dying, Jack Woolley, Gran's husband, one of the other hostages, he had a heart attack and they wanted to call an ambulance but Clive ripped the phone off the wall. Joy is horrified. Kate tells her that's not the only awful thing Clive has done, there have been other incidents, but that one really affected her, and her sister Debbie who had all sorts of trouble after. She's fine now, but it took a while. Joy tells Kate she was amazing just then, really amazing; Kate says triumphantly that Joy was too: she threw him out! They laugh together, and then Joy asks what Kate came in to buy, but Kate doesn't know: she has absolutely no idea, she says in wondering tones.

Harrison asks where he and Fallon are going on this holiday then, to have all this sex, and Fallon is unsure; after she suggests various places (France, Spain, Greece) and Harrison rejects them as not being hot enough in the autumn; they are talking about end of October, November, according to Harrison. He'll have to see when he can get the time booked off work. Fallon will have to as well. Harrison muses that even if it's just Friday morning to Monday night... Fallon agrees that anything's better than nothing, and she'd just like to get away, and Harrison laughs complacently and says him too, it sounds good. Fallon suggests they could have a look, after dinner, and he agrees. Fallon wonders who was yelling, and when Harrison, thrown by the sudden change of subject, says 'what?', explains: earlier, when they heard that bloke yelling outside. Harrison remarks that it wasn't great timing, and Fallon giggles that it didn't stop them. Harrison asks tentatively if she feels OK; she says yeah and asks if he does, and he says it was nice, it was lovely – apart from the bloke. They laugh that off, with Fallon saying nothing's perfect, and Harrison finally takes his cue and tells her she is perfect; after she says 'if only' and he repeats it, she tells him to shut up and get the dinner, on, and he claims that's all he is to her, sex and then her tea. They both laugh, and he asks if he makes her laugh, and, when she says he does, proclaims that they might just make it. She asks what he means, and he tells her they might just grow old together; she asks if he ever thought that they might not, and after a pause, he asks if she didn't. After another pause she tells him she doesn't know, then says no. He grunts, and the two stammer for a moment until she says that she never, ever thought they were going to split up, to which he replies, 'well, good.' She enquires if he did think that... He doesn't know, and she asks if he wanted to; of course not, he says, never.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 30th August, 2024

Neil cares about Kate, Kate and Alice care about each other, and Clive... Oh, take a wild guess.

Characters: Neil, Kate, Alice, Clive
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Neil catches up with Kate and asks how she is doing, and she tells him she is fine. He has heard about her encounter with Clive and is very sorry about it; she tells him he mustn't apologise and that Susan called last night and explained and honestly, neither of them is responsible for what Clive does or where he goes. Neil knows that, but they do feel a huge responsibility; also a kind of shame, he supposes. It's been a massive shock for all of them, him coming back. But as long as she's all right? She assures him that she really is, and Neil says he heard she gave him hell; Joy was full of it and said Kate was amazing. Kate says Joy was pretty amazing herself, but yes, Kate did give him hell: maybe it was a bit reckless of her. Neil doesn't think so, and Kate adds that it felt like therapy, which make him laugh and say 'Excellent!' Kate adds that Clive was trying to calm her down, can Neil believe it, trying to talk her through a breathing exercise. Neil is disbelieving and Kate says that honestly, you couldn't make it up: it's almost funny, isn't it? Anyway, it doesn't matter now. Neil is afraid she'll still see Clive around sometimes, and wishes he would just go: he's insisting he wants to spend time with his dad, Bert; Kate supposes they can't really stand in his way. Neil would love to, but no, he can't, and Bert's apparently delighted to see him [do we have anyone's word but Clive's for this? Chris] so Neil is going round there now to supervise another visit. Kate is off to have lunch with Alice at The Stables. Neil asks after Alice and Kate tells him she is better apart from the giant cloud hanging over her; she's not drinking, which is wonderful. Neil is very glad to hear that. He knows they've both got to go, but he wants to tell Kate that despite everything that's happened, the accident and Alice and Chris and all of it, Kate is still family to Susan and Neil, and they wish her well, the very best. Kate is touched, and tells him she feels the same. Neil says reluctantly that he must go and see Clive, whom he really wishes were not family. Kate wishes him good luck.

When she gets to The Stables Kate finds that Alice has laid on quite a spread, geared to Kate's vegan preferences, including the cake for pudding. She wanted to spoil Kate a bit: it's the least she can do. Kate wants to know why she says that, and Alice says after what she'd just been through. Kate disclaims and says she's fine; she's actually kind of amazing.

Clive crossly wants to know why Neil can't just leave him and Bert on their own, and Neil patiently tells him that Susan and Tracy have been through all this. Clive insists that it makes no sense: he don't need no babysitter. Neil informs him that the two women don't trust him and neither does Neil, which leads Clive to wonder what a man's got to do in this life to earn a second chance. Neil is blunt: a hell of a lot more than Clive has done so far. Clive challenges him: tell Clive what to do and he'll do it. Neil tells him that he hasn't got time for this, and if Clive wants to see Bert he can go and see Bert, who is in the garden. Clive sighs in a put-upon tone and asks when 'you lot' got so heartless, to which Neil's response is a disbelieving 'what?' They've all got so cold and cynical, Clive mourns, and when Neil questions the words, tells Neil that the truth hurts, doesn't it. Refusing to rise to his nonsense, Neil gently tells him to go and see Bert. Neil is just going to sit in the kitchen and do some paperwork. Clive says he could get them a cup of tea, and Neil, amused, tells him that he really does push his luck.

Kate has greatly enjoyed her lunch, and, after congratulating Alice, muses that she has only just realised that the robbery was a really formative experience for her. When Alice just says of course it was, she was a teenager, Kate is slightly taken aback: what she meant was, she actually thinks it was the reason she got involved in the well-being field. She's always wanted to give people the means to feel calm, and centred [could have fooled me. Chris], and safe. Alice says Um and Yeah, and Kate admits maybe that sounds a bit of stretch, but Alice doesn't think that it does: it makes perfect sense. Kate knows that in the past her family thought it was all a bit daft, Alice and Dad and Adam and probably Ruairi, which Alice heatedly denies on her own behalf though maybe Dad did, with Kate saying Dad definitely did: he once called it woo-woo, a phrase Kate hates. Even so, Alice has also heard Dad say that he's so impressed that Kate has made a successful business doing what she wants to do, and Kate admits he has said that to her too. Alice insists Brian is really proud of Kate, but Kate suspects he's just relieved she's not a complete disaster. He'd much prefer it is she were a farmer like Debbie; Alice knows that Kate would then be miserable. In a change of subject, Kate tells Alice she's been feeling bad about something for a while now and maybe this is a good time to talk about it: Kate's not sure if Alice remembers the moment, but it's been weighing on Kate. It was straight after the accident, and Brian and Kate had a row; Alice remembers that Kate called her a spoilt brat. Kate denies that initially, then admits she might have; Alice asserts that Kate said Alice was the favourite and Brian treats her differently, and Kate stammers that he does, he just does, but Kate wasn't having a go at Alice, she was having a go at him, and Alice wasn't meant to hear any of it. Alice tells her it doesn't matter now, but Kate feels it does: she didn't mean to hurt Alice ever, but especially at that moment when she was so low.

Somehow, Clive has got in from the garden unobserved and gone upstairs, and Neil only comes up in time to find him rooting around in Tracy and Jazzer's bedroom. When asked what the hell he is doing Clive, as usual, gives no direct response but says he knows it is Tracy and Jazzer's bedroom and they don't keep it very tidy, do they, with Jazzer's pants on the floor. He was so surprised when those two got together: she used to think he was an idiot. Neil foolishly starts to get into an argument about that, but when Clive pushes it by insinuating things about Tracy's morals he realises what Clive is up to and tells him to get out of the bedroom, and in fact out of the house: Neil has had enough of him. Clive tells him that he needs to take a chill pill, but Neil is uninterested, Clive goes on to say that Neil needs to be more zen, like Clive, which causes Neil to say Clive's not zen, he's a fake and a liar, and he's after something though Neil just doesn't know what it is yet. Clive irrelevantly asks what Neil's star sign is: is he a Taurus, a bit of a raging bull? Or Gemini, maybe: intellectually curious? [He's a Gemini. Chris.] Neil sticks to the point: what was Clive looking for? Clive mutters that it's not what Neil thinks, and Neil tells him that there's no money in the house, and wants to know what Clive has got stashed there. Clive protests that he hasn't been there for years, then thinks of a new tack: if he tells Neil, will Neil promise to help him, and maybe not say anything to Susan and Tracy? Neil snorts in true Neil style and tells him he's joking, but Clive claims to be serious: he'll tell him, but Neil has to promise. Neil calmly tells him just to get out. Clive doubts his ears; Neil repeats that he is just to leave now, before Neil physically throws him out. Clive laughs at him and says nastily that he's sorry, he doesn't think Neil is physically capable of that; he's not being horrible, it's just that he's a fair bit younger than Neil and he does yoga now. Did Neil know he does yoga? he adds ingenuously. Yes, Neil does, because Clive won't shut up about it. Now get out.

Kate supposes she's just jealous of Dad's love for Alice. Alice is drawn into saying that he loves Kate too, and Kate asserts she's not saying he doesn't: he just loves Alice more. Alice disputes this, and asks if Kate loves one of her kids more than the others, which Kate of course denies; Alice argues that neither does Dad. Kate insists Brian and Alice are really close and for him she is the perfect daughter, and Alice asks what she's talking about: Alice is an alcoholic, and when Kate says that even that doesn't matter, says firmly that of course it matters. Kate tells her that's what the row was about: Brian forgives Alice's flaws, he'd forgive her anything, and that was the point Kate was making then and she didn't mean to make it again now, she wanted to get past it or fix it with Alice. She didn't just want to rake it up and she supposes... she supposes she misses Mum. She needs her, she explains tearfully. She was such a counterbalance to Dad, and she didn't have a favourite [one word: Adam. Chris] and Kate just wishes they could have Mum back. Alice misses her too, and the lachrymose pair agree that they weren't ready for her to go. Alice however catches at the idea that they have got each other, and that's quite something. She's sorry Dad makes Kate feel bad and she's sorry she's been such a nightmare but she does love Kate: she really loves her and she's very lucky to have a sister like her. And she thinks Kate was really brave yesterday. She is really proud of her, in so many ways.

While Neil is escorting him off the premises Clive has thought up a reason to be in Tracy's bedroom, and asks if Neil wants to know what he was actually looking for; Neil says he doesn't, because he's not interested. Clive carries on regardless: he was trying to find Kylie's address. This does startle Neil into exclaiming 'What?' and Clive pulls out the sob-story about not having spoken to his own daughter for years [thirteen of them since Ivy's funeral, nor for the eighteen before that. Chris] and she wants nothing to do with him. This is not a surprise to Neil: can Clive blame her? Clive argues that she doesn't know how different he is, and if she could see him, and hear what he's got to say... She's got kids now, he's a grandad, he's never even met his own grandchildren. Neil thinks it's no wonder she doesn't want anything to do with Clive, and when Clive goes on to Neil being a grandad says he is, and he doesn't want Clive around his grandchildren. Clive asks if he is cast out for good, and Neil agrees that he is, pretty much, and Clive exclaims that it is so bleak! When Neil remains unhelpful, telling Clive that he should have lived a better life then, shouldn't he, and you reap what you sow, Clive forgets as usual to be ingratiating and tells him savagely that Neil thinks he's so perfect and he's done such a wonderful job as a dad and a grandad, but he's in for a shock. He'll soon see. Neil doesn't believe a word of it, and the tone in which he says 'soon see what?' is totally sceptical. Clive quotes the bible back at him: pride comes before a fall. Neil says that enough is enough, and Clive says that he hasn't even got started yet, but Neil remains unimpressed: Clive doesn't scare him, he really doesn't, so don't even try, he growls. Clive growls back: He means it, Neil Carter, Neil has a big, big shock coming to him, and when it comes, Clive's going to have a front row seat. He's going to buy popcorn, you just wait, 'cos Clive's not going anywhere.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 1st September, 2024

'A turnip dressed up in a sheet to frighten silly boys' and victory in the cricket league.

Characters: Harrison, Pat, George, Will, Joy, Emma, Ed, Clive, Susan
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Mel Ward
Editor: Jeremy Howe

It's the day of the return match against Little Croxley and Harrison wants to give everyone a pep talk: if they win the Division Five title decider today they could win promotion. The flaw in this is pointed out by Pat: in order for Ambridge to come top of the league, they need Penny Hassett to beat Darrington. George thinks this unlikely, and in order to shut him up Harrison sends him off to change from trainers into cricket boots. Joy then arrives and tells them she has sent Brad and Mia over to Darrington to report back to her on the match against Penny Hassett, which Pat considers a good idea. Emma asks if everyone is OK, and Ed says they are fine; Pat decides to go and fill up her water bottle and so does Joy, and Emma asks if anyone has seen Susan, who said she was going to bring Martha. Emma then says 'oh no': she has seen Clive, and assumes he has come to cause trouble. Ed feels they have enough to worry about today without adding Clive Horrobin to the list and advises Emma to leave him to it. He then decides to get water too, and asks if Will wants some, but Will has some already. When Ed is gone Will and Emma have a whispered conversation; Will wonders if Clive is going to say something, and Emma wouldn't put it past him: he's a loose cannon, isn't he. Will says they need to get rid of him, and Emma wonders sarcastically why she didn't think of that. Will protests he is only saying that the longer Clive hangs around, the more chance of the whole thing coming out. Emma decides to go and speak to him and tell him where to get off.

This doomed effort has all the success one might expect, since all she gains from it is the knowledge that Clive has a new idea: in return for not telling the village about George, he wants his daughter Kylie's contact details, so he can see his grand-kids. Emma says she can't help him, but Clive thinks she can; she may not have Kylie's number herself, but he'll bet Susan has, and Emma can ask her. Emma says that even if Susan does have it, why should she give it to Clive? Clive's answer, in a quite different and much more threatening tone from the one he has used so far, is that if she doesn't he will tell everyone about George's little secret. Has George changed his mind yet about going to the police? No, Emma says bitterly, and he's not likely to while Clive is around pouring nonsense in his ear. Clive claims to feel bad about that; he'll talk to him and try and get him to do the right thing. All Emma has to do is convince her mum to give Clive Kylie's number. That's not much to ask, is it?

Harrison is worried because George seems, as Ed says, 'a bit off his game'. Will shouts to him just to focus on the ball, and George irritably shouts back to ask what Will thinks he is doing; Pat reassures Harrison that George will be fine once he gets going, he always is. Harrison continues to jitter, about everything. The opposition then come out to bat, and Pat braces Harrison: none of this is insurmountable. Harrison in turn braces the team.

Later in the match, Susan and Joy are disparaging about the way Ambridge is playing, with poor bowling and dropped catches. When Emma comes over, Susan makes a similar comment to her, and Emma says she thinks they must be nervous. Joy's phone rings and she can barely hear Brad, so she goes away to try and get a better signal, leaving mother and daughter together; Susan at once asks if George is all right, and causes Emma to ask 'why?' in a sharpened voice, but Susan is just assuming that he is still fretting about the court case, and mentions that he looks as if he hasn't slept. Emma manages to pass the matter off, and Susan then adds that it doesn't help having Clive around making a menace of himself: he'd put anyone off their game. What's he playing at, she wants to know. Emma says she just asked him that, and he has claimed he's trying to put right his mistakes before it's too late. Susan is sure that it's already too late [and has been on the receiving end of his 'putting right mistakes' already this visit, so she knows how insincere that is. Chris] and Emma agrees: too late for her, maybe, but what about Kylie? Might she like to see her dad? Susan doesn't believe this of Emma of all people: this is what Clive's like, so slippery and devious and getting decent intelligent people doing his dirty work. Emma denies doing his dirty work, but Susan is not taken in: oh, so he didn't ask her to get Kylie's number? Emma temporises: why shouldn't he want to get in touch with his daughter? Susan lays it on the line for her: families can overcome all sorts, but Susan learned the hard way about Clive. He is only out for himself, and there's something missing with him, always was, but because he was her brother and she loved him Susan gave him chance after chance; every chance she gave him he just let her down. The fact is, he's out for himself and he genuinely doesn't care who he hurts in the process. She tells Emma not to fall for it, and Emma says she hasn't, which leads Susan to say 'Good'; if you do one thing for him, he'll be after another, and another, and another, he'll take you down with him. As she speaks Joy comes over with the words 'Bad news!' – but she is talking about Darrington having set Penny Hassett 255 to win, not Clive. On the plus side, there's a cracking lunch inside: do the other two want some? Susan goes with her, but Emma says she'll see Susan later.

Rather than getting food, she has gone to find Clive and tell him that she has not got Kylie's number for him. He is indignant that Susan wouldn't give it to her, and calls his sister 'tight'; this is the last straw for Emma, who says her mum is not tight: she is kind, and generous, and has done more for Clive over the years than Clive ever deserved. His mood turns ugly again and he sneers that Susan has been bad-mouthing him. Emma retorts that Susan said nothing that Emma didn't already know and she can see what Clive is like for herself. They all can. He's fooling no-one and it's time for him to go. He snarls that he'll go when he's ready, and Emma tells him that as of tonight he's got nowhere to sleep because Will's cancelled his B&B. He threatens that in that case, he might feel like taking a little trip to the police station, but Emma is ready for that: he is to do what he likes, she means it, but she can't think he'd want to risk that with his record. With a hint of desperation, Clive says they had a deal: get him Kylie's number and he'd go. She tells him she can't, and when he asks 'can't, or won't?' replies can't. Anyway, Kylie isn't in Ambridge so why is he there? His saying he wants to be near his dad now they've just made up after all them years butters no parsnips as Emma, unmoved, says yeah, and that is beautiful, it's really lovely he's sorted things out. As he repeats that it is, she says it would be really tragic if he messed it all up and was left with nothing. He wants to know what she's on about and she tells him: she's on about him, and his habit of poisoning every relationship he's ever had: mark her words, he sticks around and sooner or later he's going to do something that ruins everything he's managed to salvage with Bert. He tells her he won't, but she replies at once that he will, because he won't be able to stop himself: it's who he is. Only next time it will be so monumental there won't be no coming back from it: Grandad will see him for who he really is and he will curse himself that he ever let Clive wheedle his way back in, and then he'll really hate Clive. Everyone will. Her cold fury seems to have frightened Clive, who shouts at her to shut up, but she just tells him that he knows she's right: he's had his miracle, he's back in his dad's good books, and if she were him she'd get going, quick, before it all comes tumbling down.

Joy brings better news this time: Brad has messaged that Penny Hassett has beaten Darrington. There is general rejoicing; all Ambridge has to do now is score eleven runs off the last four balls, which naturally Ed and George manage handily, with Ed scoring one and then George a four and a six. Harrison shouts delightedly that they are the division five champs, and also that they are 'going home' [whatever he thinks that means. Chris.].

After the match George is once more hailed as a hero, and chaired shoulder-high into the pub, with the various spectators recounting to each other their impressions of the match. Pat goes to find Tony, who has got a drink for her, and Harrison is determined to buy George a pint even though he already has one. It is Harrison's opinion that it has been a pretty incredible day, a fantastic day for Ambridge cricket.

Susan has brought a drink to Emma and says it looks like she could do with it, but Emma avers she is fine, then apologises for asking Susan for Kylie's number. Susan tells her not to beat herself up, adding that she said, didn't she, this is exactly what Clive is like: he's made a career out of getting people to do stuff for him. Emma sighs and says that anyway, she thinks the good news is he's cleared off. Susan is initially incredulous, then asks how Emma managed that, and Emma explains that she just helped him see there was nothing round here for him any more. Susan heaves a sigh of relief, but then probes a little: is that all that's been worrying Emma? It's not just this afternoon: she's been stressed for a while, and don't say she hasn't. Is everything all right with her and Ed? Of course it is, Emma tells her. Everything's fine, she's just had a lot on, that's all. Susan is not fully convinced, but goes to find Neil anyway. Coming over, Will asks Emma where Clive is, and Emma says he's gone; when Will asks how she managed that she tells him she just did: don't worry, Will, it's all sorted. Will wouldn't go that far: Clive might have gone, but things are a long way from sorted.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 2nd September, 2024

A lot of rubbish is collected, talked about, talked and written.

Characters: Ruth, Joy, Mia, Brad
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Mel Ward
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Armed with one of the litter-picking grabbers she ordered for use at the fête, Joy is sorting out the overflowing rubbish-bin outside the shop, which hasn't been emptied for ages. She tells Ruth, who is full of admiration, that kids love the grabbers: Jack and Helen came by earlier and Jack was really keen to have a go. Ruth describes her as 'the Joy Horville one-woman litter campaign' and wonders why they don't empty the bins more often, which Joy can tell her: they had a drop-in surgery at the library in Borchester and she went and asked they've had to streamline services. A very nice woman told her they're completely over-stretched and it's a county-wide problem. Funding cuts, adds Joy. Ruth believes this, but feels you have to wonder, what kind of person finds a full bin and thinks 'oh well, I'll just drop this on the floor then'? Joy says it was the same at the fête: bins overflowing so people just dump stuff instead of taking it home with them. People just don't think sometimes, she adds bitterly. Ruth thinks they just should, and it gets you down, with which Joy agrees, especially after what happened to the Brookfield Hereford, High Heels, though Ruth assures her the animal is fine after her ordeal. Kirsty has found a fox cub dead, with cardboard wrapped round its neck. This conversation leads to Ruth and Joy deciding that they must Do Something About It. Ruth suggests seeing if the Parish Council has any ideas, but then decides they don't have to wait for the official channels: Joy has started a one-woman campaign, does she fancy making it a ­two-woman one?

Mia is showing Brad pictures of the rooms she will be occupying in Newcastle when she is up there for her first year: she hopes to get one with a view of the river. He seems even more than usually silent and then makes an effort to say cheerful things when she tells him about lectures from the beach in her second year, but his heart might not be in it, and Mia too is on edge, because it seems a bit real now she is going on Saturday: only five sleeps to go, as she says. She has managed to get almost everything she needs second hand, she boasts. She thinks it a good job Brad's uncle Clive has cleared off so he won't be gate-crashing her good-bye pizza on Friday night, though she thinks it's weird how he came and then just disappeared again. Brad is monosyllabic about that, and Mia asks how he is feeling about next week. He tries to enthuse about the course, but has a hard time sounding properly keen on it all. Mia asks if he is going to miss her; of course he will, he tells her, and it's going to be weird. She sounds suitably regretful when she says she will miss him too. They should do something nice before she goes: she has never been for a picnic on Lakey Hill, so how about doing that? They decide to do that on Wednesday, and before then, she wants to have an ice-lolly, so they set off for the shop to get one each.

The two-woman campaign are discussing possible names for their project, and Ruth comes up with 'Don't Rubbish Ambridge', which Joy thinks suitably punchy. Ruth reckons a lot of people would be interested in joining them, such as Lynda and Robert; Joy contributes Kirsty and Alistair, who as a vet has to deal with the fallout from litter, and Ruth is sure David will be up for it. Joy suggests they gather at her house tonight for an ideas meeting; Ruth is to bring David, and Joy will drum up other support. [Why is the WI not involved? This is the 70th anniversary of their 'Keep Britain Tidy' campaign. Chris.] Joy then utters the standard cliché, 'Hello you two', because Mia and Brad have turned up for their ice lollies. Ruth and Joy are both delighted to extol the joys of Newcastle to Mia, including the now-defunct nightclub Julie's, which Brad at first thinks was the name of a friend of Joy's. Mia casts a slight damper by saying she isn't into nightclubs, but Ruth makes a recover and talks of other attractions for a bit. Joy remembers to tell Brad what a great time he is going to have at Felpersham, too. She then takes the time to try to recruit them both for her campaign, but Mia is not keen: it sounds great, but if they're not going to be around... Joy says they still need the undergraduates' brilliant ideas before they go. Also she has a box of luxury biscuits that needs eating.

Later in the evening at Joy's house, Ruth is delivering orders for tea and coffee: Robert and David want tea, Brad and Mia coffee, black for Mia, and Jack will have a juice if Joy has it. Joy also has some elderflower cordial somewhere. Mia has been taking notes, and after the break Ruth hopes to make a plan for action, so when Mia comes through to help Joy asks her to read out the list of ideas: suggestion boxes in the shop and the tea room, ask Lynda to put something on the village website, regular litter-pick, design competition at local school for new, colourful fun bins (a great suggestion from Jack, according to Ruth) [but who is going to empty them? That is where the problem is said to be. Chris], talking bins, sponsored bins, naming and shaming litter lout bins, and Helen's suggestion, encouraging retailers to minimise packaging and keep premises clean. Jack wanted to get his school involved in posters and campaign stuff. Joy thinks they need to decide what they're doing and who wants to take the lead on things: it's a shame Lynda couldn't make it.

Later still she bids farewell to Mia and Brad, full of understanding that they will not be around for the litter pick, and Mia says that it's cute Jack wanting to lead the campaign; Joy thinks the problem is that he may have put everyone else off suggesting themselves. Brad asks if she is really going to let Jack be in charge when he is only eight, but Joy thinks it's brilliant, with the caveat that he may need some help; if no-one else comes forward she's happy to do some coordinating with him. As long as it gets done, that's the main thing. The two escape, and on returning to Ruth in the house Joy describes them as adorable, a view with which Ruth heartily agrees; the two women sentimentalise a little over the young.

Brad in the meantime is making it fairly clear he will only be doing litter-picking if he is roped in, and assuming he'll be free; he contrasts Mia having a great time at uni with him picking litter in Ambridge, so she says that she wants to pick litter in Ambridge, which he clearly doesn't entirely believe. When she insists that she does, he says that lucky for her, he bets they have litter in Newcastle too. She tells him it won't be the same as picking litter with him, though, which he thinks the most romantic thing she's ever said to him.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 3rd September, 2024

Ian is OTT and Susan gropes towards a conclusion.

Characters: Ian, Adam, Lottie, Joy, Susan, Neil
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Mel Ward
Editor: Jeremy Howe

It's Xander's first day at school and Ian is over-excited; Xander clearly isn't that fussed. As Ian is jumping up and down, waving his arms and shouting goodbye to his son, Adam and he are recognised and approached by Pip's friend Lottie, who met them at Rosie's party and is bringing her own, older child to school. She is friendly but has to rush to get Maddie to her own class line, and Adam and Ian are left to congratulate themselves on Xander's unflappability, which they attribute to their having brought him up to be confident.

As they open the shop, Joy is recruiting Susan for the litter-pick; she will do it unless she has Martha, but wonders if Joy hasn't taken on too much with organising it all. Joy repeats her theory that once Jack had offered to run it nobody else wanted to upset him by offering, and takes comfort in Ruth having said she'll help her with the running; also she hopes once it's going it will look after itself. That hasn't been Susan's experience of such things, which have a tendency to snowball. Joy is glad Clive has disappeared, if he really has; Susan says touch wood, but he said goodbye to Bert on Sunday and no-one's seen him since. Joy thinks that is good news. She knows he's Susan's brother, but he didn't half cause some upset in the shop last week when he ran into Kate. To think he held up this very shop! Susan might have preferred not to be reminded about the robbery, even by ultra-sympathetic Joy. She remarks that she knows it sounds awful to be estranged from your own brother, and she may have taken a long time to work it out, but life's much better without Clive in it. For all of them. Joy remarks that families are complicated things and only the people inside them can really understand, just as Neil comes in and Susan greets him, as does Joy. He is there to buy a sandwich for lunch but is tempted by a peach and raspberry roulade, not for lunch but to have that evening, to please Martha; Susan agrees to bring one home with her.

After school Ian encounters Lottie again and she explains about collecting children as they come out: reception children come out of the sheep gate, which confuses Adam until she tells them the gate has a picture of a sheep on it. They go on to talk about children going to school for the first time, and whether Maddie likes school now, since it's a really nice place and the teachers are amazing. Lottie also tells them about the class group chat, which drives her absolutely insane but is essential for the reminders it gives about the endless 'days': sports day, home clothes day, odd socks day, wear orange day... Ian wants to know how to join the reception class chat, and, when he learns that there isn't one yet, resolves to start it. Lottie then spots her daughter and goes off to fetch her, and Ian sees Xander and starts to shout to him.

'That'll be five pounds sixty when you're ready,' announces Joy; Susan is making sure she's got everything before she leaves the shop, not forgetting the roulade, which amuses her: when she was Martha's age they were over the moon with a bit of Angel Delight. She worries that they spoil Martha, trying to make up for the fact that things haven't always been plain sailing, but Joy doesn't think the odd roulade for tea will do much harm. Joy asks how Alice is, and Susan thinks she's good, though the court case is hanging over all of them; she's doing OK. Joy still feels guilty about having sold Alice vodka that night: if she hadn't then maybe... Susan comforts her by saying Alice would have bought it somewhere else, and, when Joy is still unsure, says firmly that Alice is an alcoholic and if she got it into her head she was going to buy a massive bottle of vodka, and some cut-price cider to wash it down, there was no chance of Joy or anyone else stopping her. She'd have found a way. Joy ruefully concedes this, but adds that she doesn't want to be pedantic, only she didn't sell Alice any cider. Susan is surprised and assures Joy Alice must have got it there: the stuff they had on offer. Joy is sure she didn't sell any to Alice; it's quite clear in her mind because she had moved it to try to shift it, and the only person she sold any to that day was George, who was going to a party. He was short of money, and he was being cheeky and asking for credit, and in the end the cider was all he could afford. As Susan murmurs 'right', Joy asks why she thought Alice had bought some, and Susan distractedly answers that she must have got her wires crossed, then hastily says she'd better get the roulade home, and goes.

After his exhausting day at school Xander has gone to sleep early, leaving Ian and Adam to discuss this and that in peace. This includes the fact that Ian's group has been joined by seventeen people. Lottie was amused Ian did start the group, and has passed on a few more school tips, such as the voluntary one-way system at drop-off and pick-up time; she also said she can introduce them to some friends of hers with a kid in reception. Adam wonders why, just because they've got kids the same age, and Ian burbles about setting up a play date and it would be nice for Xander to invite a pal over, which Adam greets with very muted enthusiasm indeed. [Quite right too: why should two sets of parents getting on mean their children will, or vice versa? Chris.] As they are talking, three more people join the chat, and when told this Adam says a truly dreary 'great', so Ian asks him what is wrong. He is just worrying about whether Ian wants all this extra admin. Ian disputes there will be any and at once wonders if he should organise a parents' night out, which Adam vetoes. Adam adds that Ian can represent them and he will stay at home and look after Xander; Ian accuses him of having been grumpy ever since Ian gave Miss Simpkin his number for the chat. Adam declares that was embarrassing, and while he envies Ian being so at ease in new situations he doesn't share that ability. Ian suspects this is about a parent's mistaking Adam for Xander's grandad; she was mortified, poor woman. Adam grumbles that she was at least twenty years younger than him [i.e. in her late thirties, a perfectly reasonable age for a woman with a child of nearly five. Chris] and he isn't happy about going back to school at his age when he still doesn't fit in. Ian asks gently whether Adam thinks he is over-thinking it, and Adam's reaction is yes, absolutely, but this is about Xander not him, and he's really pleased the child had a good day and that's all that matters.

Neil is pleased with himself about the roulade having been a hit with Martha, but eventually notices that Susan is distracted and quiet and asks what the matter is. He suggests that she looks shattered, and they could leave the clearing up for him to do later and go and sit down in the summer-house with a glass of something, since it is still nice out there. Susan doesn't want to: she needs to talk to Neil. He says that it sounds serious, and she replies that she doesn't know if it is or it isn't. Neil invites her to go on, and she does: it's about the accident. Does Neil remember that as well as the vodka bottle they found an empty bottle of fruit cider in the car? He does, yes. And Christopher got himself all worked up, Susan continues, and he thought it was strange because Alice didn't drink cider. Neil remembers that Chris thought that Harry might have been with her. But it turned out Harry wasn't, Susan reminds him, so Christopher accepted that Alice must have had the cider. Neil wonders why she is bringing this up: has something happened? Susan takes deep breath and tells him Joy didn't sell Alice any cider; she's sure of it. Alice only bought vodka. Slowly and cautiously, Neil produces the word 'right'. Susan tells him Joy remembers clearly because only one person bought cider in the shop that day: George. Neil is shocked, and repeats 'George?' and asserts that George doesn't even like cider [perhaps thinking of George's reaction when Neil and Ben offered it to him while they were hay-making. Chris.] Well, he bought some for a party, is Susan's reply – on the day that Alice crashed the car. Neil asks what she is saying, and she doesn't know, but something about this doesn't feel right; in fact it feels very wrong.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 4th September, 2024

Ian continues to be a nonsensical Tigger but Brad has seen sense.

Characters: Mia, Brad, Ian, Adam, Lottie
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Mel Ward
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Just as Mia rings the doorbell, Brad opens it because he was about to look and see if he could see her coming. They are both surprised. Since they have each bought supplies for a picnic, as well as Brad having been lent a roll-up blanket from the pub, they are ready to set off for Lakey Hill.

In spite of having said he didn't want any fuss Ian is having a really lovely day for his birthday: presents, breakfast in bed and a home-made card from Xander, a lovely walk by the river and now lunch. Adam describes it as 'low key fuss'. Alice has given him a posh candle. Adam reports that the morning has been nothing exciting: helping in the dairy because Clarrie booked the morning off to go to Poppy's assembly. Ian is instantly alert; he didn't know they got to go to assemblies! He then apologises and asks Adam to go on, and Adam tells him he thought he was covering Clarrie 'but it turns out I'm actually covering Susan as well: she's there but she's all over the place' [he suddenly started talking in the present tense about past events: has he done this before? Chris] and he thinks her brother having shown his face has really shaken her; Clive's gone, but he's clearly left his mark. Susan's a wreck. She came close to ruining a whole batch of ice-cream. Adam is not unsympathetic, and knows what family stress is like, but to be honest she'd be better off at home. Anyhow, Clarrie is back now so he's in the polytunnels after lunch, which is a relief. Ian thinks he might go for a swim after lunch, and Adam says dinner is taken care of and he can pick Xander up so Ian doesn't need to rush. Ian however doesn't want to miss anything to do with Xander, just at present. He also wants to put some faces to the names from the group chat. Forty-two people have now joined, which as Adam says is more than the number of children in the class; Ian tells him both parents have joined in many cases, then uses the excuse that it is his birthday to insist on signing Adam up for it even though Adam actively doesn't want to join .

Mia is very happy with the picnic, and so is Brad. He asks her what a climate change specialist does and seems genuinely interested in the answer even though Mia doesn't really know and lists all sorts of other things she might also do. All Brad knows is he wants to do maths: it makes him feel a bit mad when he tries to look too far into the future. Mia agrees; what will the world even be like in three years? Where will they be? Brad knows he will still be in Ambridge, and when Mia says he might not be, moans that he can't imagine moving that far away. She on the other hand might love Newcastle so much that she ends up staying there. She muses that they might both end up there: maybe he'll visit, and love it so much he wants to move there too. He asks if she knows it costs a hundred and fifty pounds on the train to get to Newcastle, and she at once says not with a rail card [after all, it's only £100 with one of them. Chris] – which he hasn't got. He could get one, suggests Mia, or get the coach: that's cheaper. Softly, Brad points out he has to work at the weekends so he won't be able to visit that often. Mia is cast down, then suggests that she could come back some weekends and they can video call each other every day. Can't they? Brad doesn't know, and after a pause she asks him what he doesn't know. He struggles to explain: he doesn't know if it's going to work.

Ian is one-upping both Lottie and himself in the matter of Xander's hundred-pound outdoor kitchen: Ian used to play with dirt, literally. When he was a child he really wanted that play kitchen owned by the girl with the baked beans, does Lottie remember? She doesn't, being rather too young to do so. Then one day he went and visited a richer kid who owned that kitchen, and he was raging with jealousy until he discovered that you couldn't actually cook beans in it. Lottie simulates horrified astonishment and agrees that was devastating. But look where he works now, finishes Ian triumphantly. They are rejoicing over their children playing well together when Adam comes home calling for Xander and wanting to hear all about his day; the presence of Lottie clearly takes him aback somewhat, and he is also briefly disconcerted that Ian has invited Lottie and Maddie to eat with them. Adam's doing carbonara, he tells her, there will be plenty, and he hopes she likes caterpillar cake. They always have caterpillar cake for birthdays. He offers to get them something to drink if they want; Ian asks for another shandy on the grounds that it is his birthday after all, and Lottie says she'll join him.

Mia has drawn the obvious inference, and asks Brad, if he wants to end it, at least to tell her straight. He says he doesn't want to, but she's determined to think the worst: does he want to be single so he can meet someone at uni? Of course not, he protests. So why doesn't he think it will work? He tries a bit more to explain: he's been thinking about it, in fact this last few weeks it's all he can think about. He's happy with being at home in Ambridge and working at Grey Gables and going to uni, but she is going to be miles away in a brand-new city with brand-new people: she's getting a whole new life. She cries out that she'll still be her, which Brad says he knows; just because she's going away doesn't mean that they can't still be together. Brad however thinks maybe it does. Mia accuses Brad of being ridiculous: loads of people go to uni and stay with their boyfriend or girlfriend back home, she claims. He doesn't want her to have him pulling her back and making her feel like she's only half there, he says miserably: having to ring him every night when she'd rather be having a laugh with her mates, having to miss stuff at weekends because she's having to be coming back to visit him or have him visiting her and her having to explain all her in-jokes to him... He trails off and she indignantly proclaims that it wouldn't be like that. He tells her that he worries that it might be. It might be really exhausting trying to be at uni and be with him at the same time. It might be too much. And the thing is, he really doesn't want to risk it. Them, just, kind of, fizzling out. Mia has started to cry. He tells her that he loves her and he knows she loves him, and he doesn't think he can stand to watch all of that just fade away to nothing, Or for them to try to carry on out of nostalgia until one of them builds up the courage to make the call and say it's not working. He's thought out all the eventualities. She wants tp know what about the eventuality where everything's fine, but his answer to that is that even if it's fine it will never be like this again, and she has to accept that she supposes not, though it might be OK. He wants to know, what if it is OK? Like, they decide to stay together and manage it and it doesn't fizzle out, what then? She doesn't get it: that would be good, wouldn't it? Then, he reasons inexorably, they'd be the people who stayed with the first person they went out with, which might be brilliant but it might not be. They might wonder what they'd have done if they weren't together. He knows he's completely over-thought and he's sorry. Mia tells him not to be sorry: over-thinking's what he does. She loves it. She loves everything about him. Sorrowfully, he tells her that he loves her too, and maybe in the future they will end up together, and that would be the most magic thing ... he sighs. But for now, he really thinks this is for the best. Reluctantly, Mia draws her breath in and says 'OK'. She can't believe it, but yeah, OK. After a pause, Brad asks if she wants to head down, but no, not yet, she requests: let's just stay here a while. Brad agrees.

Lottie is filling in more school gossip for Ian: Mr Ashe teaches Year 4 and there were rumours for ages about him and Miss Denham, Maddie's teacher, and then the school came back this week and they're married. Adam wonders if that's allowed; Ian asks if teachers can get married. Lottie wants to know why not when it's only like other people meeting at work, she supposes, and at least they weren't married to other people. Can you imagine – now that would be gossip, sniggers Ian. Lottie says she volunteered to be a reading helper this year, so if she hears any scandal she'll keep them in the loop. Ian asks if they need reading volunteers in all the years, and Lottie remarks that he really is keen, isn't he; he just wants to do his bit, but Adam advises caution: they should probably let Xander settle in first. Lottie at once counsels Ian to join the PTA, although Adam implores her not to encourage him; she's serious, he'd be perfect. They're always looking for members and they could do with more men. Ian enthusiastically asks how he joins. When Adam says hang on, hang on, Ian claims he is just wondering what the process is, that's all. Lottie suggests he could just go to the next meeting and get involved; in fact why doesn't he volunteer to be a class rep? Adam asks what that is, and Lottie tells Ian he'd be the point of contact for Reception and pass on info about events, that sort of thing. Eagerly Ian says he could do that, Lottie says he could totally do that, and Adam says yes, he could, but how much time would it mean? Lottie doesn't know but thinks it depends how much you can give, which is Adam's point exactly: it's not as if Ian's got loads of spare time. Ian asserts that this is important; what, asks Adam, running a tombola at the school summer fair? Yeah, being part of the community, part of Xander's education even, and what could be more important than that, Ian asks. Lottie tells him he has almost convinced her to join, and while she and Ian laugh together Adam heavily offers to clear up.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 5th September, 2024

Susan and Neil take action, and under compulsion so does Emma. George just wails.

Characters: George, Emma, Susan, Neil
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Mel Ward
Editor: Jeremy Howe

In order to get George to herself while Ed and Will are away overnight delivering a ram, Emma has fed him a lasagne, and when he offers to clear up before he goes she makes it clear that her motive was to have a talk with him. Her attempts to talk sense into him are as successful as all the previous ones have been, and are interrupted by a car arriving outside.

In the car, Susan is getting ready to go in to see Emma, but Neil prevaricates and asks her to hang on so they can think about it. Are they doing the right thing? She reminds him they have been over and over it, but he still doesn't think it feels right walking in there and pointing the finger at George; Emma won't take it well and this could go badly wrong. Susan wants to know what choice they have. And besides, they're not going in accusing George of anything. Neil gloomily predicts that Emma won't see it like that, and wants to know if it has to be tonight, but Susan is clear that it must be while Emma is on her own. If George had anything at all to do with what happened that night, then Emma has the right to know about it. Neil grunts, but reluctantly concedes that Susan is right and then says 'Let's get this over with'.

As they come in they have to change gear and make allowance for George's presence, with Susan quickly inventing a story about returning from the supermarket and thinking they'd drop in to see if Emma was all right on her own, which Emma thinks is a little nonsensical but nice of them. Susan comments on Keira's absence, and Emma tells her that the child is having a sleep-over with a friend. Neil seizes on George's presence as an excuse to leave them to it and come back another time, but George quickly tells them to stay: he's a bit tired and thinks he'll go and get his head down. As soon as he is gone Emma offers to put the kettle on, but neither of her parents wants a hot drink, which makes her guess something is going on; Susan bravely starts explaining why they are there. There's something they need to talk about. Emma at once fears the worst and asks if they are OK, but no, it's nothing like that. It's just that something's come to light, something they both felt they should discuss with her. Emma is starting to get cross and asks them to stop talking in riddles and just tell her what is going on; Susan asks if they can sit down, and having done so says that it's about the accident and Alice crashing the car that night. Something isn't sitting right with her and Neil. Up to now it seemed so cut and dried that they just accepted it, but when you think about it, there are a lot of things that don't make sense. Alice pleading not guilty even though she didn't remember anything, Christopher being so sure some else was in the car with her... Neil reminds Emma that Chris was obsessing about the fruit cider bottle that was found in the car, because Alice wouldn't drink cider. Emma just says yes. Susan continues: they've been very worried about George. Emma repeats his name, blankly. Neil cuts in again: George hasn't been himself for months. Susan takes up when he stops: and then this week, Joy told Susan that on the day of the crash George bought bottles of fruit cider from the shop. Neil asks if Emma is OK, and she gets herself some water. He tells her that they just wondered whether George might know more than he's letting on, and Susan says that she knows it sounds ridiculous but whether he might even have been in the car with Alice that night. She knows when you say it out loud like that it sounds ... Is Emma all right? No, Emma gasps, and as Neil anxiously asks her what's up, she tells them she only found out a few weeks ago and honestly had no idea for ages, George hid it all. Susan wants to know, hid what? Was he in the car with Alice that night? After a pause, Emma says he was driving.

Far from having gone home to 'get his head down', George is on the phone to Brad, trying to persuade him to come out for a drink at The Flying Horse (a pub just before the bypass). Brad isn't interested.

Incredulously, Neil realises that Emma is saying George moved Alice to make it look like she'd been driving. Susan says in shock that Alice was out cold, and Emma tries to excuse George by saying he was terrified and wasn't thinking straight. Obviously the thing to do was to own up and face it but he was frightened, she pleads: it was a spur of the moment decision and he's been regretting it ever since. Susan can't understand why: it sounds like an accident, if it happened like George says, with Alice trying to get out of the car while it was still moving... I know, Emma moans, he panicked. Neil is unable to sort out his feelings, and both Emma's parents realise that this explains Emma's strange behaviour on her birthday and about her exam result. Then Susan asks, what about Alice? The things Susan said to her! The things Emma said about her! Emma excuses that by saying it was before she knew; ever since she found out she's been on at George to hand himself in, and he nearly did but he ran away before they could get him to the police station. Susan questions the word 'we' and Emma says Will and her; Will is the only other person who knows. Susan is shocked that Emma hasn't told Ed; Neil adds things together and realises that must have been when George went off with his mates to Bournemouth out of the blue, and then came back – that was when Clive turned up. Susan works it out: George brought Clive back, didn't he. As if things weren't bad enough already, she cries out. Emma is sorry: she had no idea George would even think of Clive, and once Clive was there she did everything she could to get rid of him. Neil grasps the important point: so Clive knows. Oh yes, Emma says bitterly: he threatened to go to the police if she didn't get Kylie's number from Susan. Neil is following his own line of thought: George must know he can't get away with this. Susan chimes in: even if Clive keeps it to himself, who's to say Alice won't remember what happened? Emma tells them she has said all this to George, and that was why she had him there tonight: to try to get him to see that his only option is to tell the truth. But it's like he's in denial, and Clive didn't help telling him all these stories about prison. He's scared, and Emma doesn't know what else she can do. Susan quietly informs her that Susan thinks she does know, deep down. She needs to call the police. Emma's instant reaction is 'no', but Neil implores her to come on: every day that goes by things get worse for George, and for her, and Will. Now that they both know... Emma breaks out in agitation, saying she can't, she promised George she wouldn't, and anyway isn't it better if he owns up himself? Susan agrees that it would be, but that's not looking likely, is it. Emma suggests she could ring him, now, and tell him to come back, and then they all talk to him together. Once he sees that Neil and Susan know he'll realise that it's over and he has to do it now. Susan isn't sure, and Neil rather brutally (but honestly) says that he's sorry, but he doesn't think George has got it in him; he'll run away again. It's going to take more than that, and Neil thinks Susan is right and Emma needs to ring the police. Breaking down, Emma asks how she can, when he's her son. Susan points out that Keira's her daughter, and, when Emma asks what Keira has to do with it, reminds her that it isn't just George who could go down for this: Emma has been covering for him, and she's in it up to her neck. What happens to Keira if Emma is sent to prison for assisting an offender, has Emma thought of that? Emma stammers that she hasn't, and Susan sharply instructs her to think about it now: does Emma remember what happened to Susan when she covered for Clive? [There was a little more to it than just 'covering' for him, as I recall: she gave him shelter, food, clothing and money, and concealed him from the police when they were actively looking for him. Chris.] Of course Emma remembers. Susan asks her how she would feel if it was Keira refusing to visit her because she couldn't bear to see her mum like that? Emma is sorry and wishes she hadn't done that, and feels awful thinking about it now. Susan doesn't blame her for what she did when she was nine, and they were all going through hell; she was just saying think about where all this could end up. Neil, who has clearly been thinking things over quietly, suddenly asks Emma why she hasn't told Ed, and she tells him that George didn't want him to, because he was worried that Ed might say something and, well, it was just easier. 'Easier for whom?' Neil asks, suddenly exasperated; look, this is all wrong. It shouldn't be George calling the shots. He has shown beyond any doubt that his judgement is broken. Emma claims that is on her because he is her son, but Neil isn't having that: George is an adult and has made his own choices, and he's got to live with the consequences. Emma admits that she knows he is right, but does Neil really expect her to call the police without even telling George, and have them turn up on the village green and arrest him in front of everyone? Susan says she will ring George and get him back to the caravan where it's quiet, and when she gets his voicemail leaves him a message saying it's her and she needs him to come back to his mum's as soon as possible: it's an emergency and she'll explain when he gets there. Emma isn't pleased with that because George is going to think something has happened to one of them, and Neil growls that when he gets there he'll wish it had. Now, Susan says unsteadily, Emma needs to call the police; Neil says he will do it, but Susan forbids him: Emma needs to do it; she's. Susan is sorry, but it has to be her. It might come out further down the line that she knew, and if it does it will be better if she has made the call. Neil agrees, and Emma says she'll do it.

George gets home asking what's wrong and is greeted by the news that Neil and Susan know everything, having mostly worked it out for themselves; Neil tells him the police are on their way, and Emma tells him she had no choice. Someone knocks on the door and he goes into full-blown panic, whimpering 'Don't let them take me' and calling on his mum to do something. She sobs out that it's going to be all right, she loves him, it will be all right.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 6th September, 2024

There is plenty of blame and angst to go round. And round. And round.

Characters: Ed, Emma, Will, George, Susan, Neil, Mia
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Mel Ward
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Since the police wouldn't allow her to accompany her adult son at the police station, Emma has been up all night waiting for word from George, and greets Ed and Will as soon as they get back. She tells them George is with the police, but would rather talk about it inside, not out in the yard.

Indoors, Will wants her to tell him what happened: how come George is with the police? More basically, Ed wants to know what he's done. Emma tells Ed this is going to be a shock, and then reveals that George was driving the car that caused the crash. Ed asks what crash, then realises: Alice's crash? He was driving Alice's car? Yes, Emma says, whereupon Ed immediately wants to know when she found this out. She tries to fudge the issue by saying she hasn't known for very long, but he digs further, and she ends up saying that she's sorry, but she couldn't tell him. Will meanwhile doesn't get it: they've been on at George to hand himself in, so why would he decide now? Ed realises that Will knew, and Emma tells him that she had to tell Will; she tearfully says she is sorry, Ed, and Ed angrily questions why she couldn't tell him but she could tell Will. She tries to explain that Will is George's father and she had to, which really doesn't go down well with Ed: he's her husband! Will interrupts this burgeoning row to ask why George would choose the one night Will was away to hand himself in, and Emma once again lands herself in it: he didn't hand himself in, she called the police. Will wants to know why she would do that, and she asserts they couldn't go on like that, could they: she had to. Mum and Dad had pretty much worked it out between them and they came round and put her on the spot, they were right to and it was only going to get worse. The police would have caught up with him sooner or later, Will knows that. This is not what matters to Will: he wasn't there. His boy was taken away by the police and he was tucked up in a B&B miles away. How would Emma feel if that was the other way round? Emma protests that she didn't plan it; does he think she enjoyed it, ringing them and telling them to arrest her own son? It was awful, the worst thing she's ever done. [And there's a lot of competition. Chris.] Ed has been quiet but now asks, angrily, how long Emma has known, and when the answer is a few weeks, he's aghast: they tell each other everything! Will is just as angry: who else knows about the arrest? Emma told Clarrie and Eddie, who are obviously upset, and hasn't worked out what she is going to say to Keira.

George comes in and all three turn to him for information. He's released on bail for now and the police have not yet charged him, but they will soon. Will starts to plan: they will have to get him a proper solicitor. Ed gets a message from David wondering where he is, and decides to go to fix some fencing. He doesn't want to let David down and it doesn't look like they need him anyway. Emma calls after him as he walks out, and George remarks that Ed knows, then, and that's why he's thrown his toys out of the pram. When Emma asks what the police said, George sullenly tells her that he kept her name out of it, if that's what she's bothered about. For Keira, not for her. He wants nothing to do with Emma; he has only come back for his phone [which the police allowed him to leave, and didn't seize? Why, if they are making this a three-ring circus? Chris] and now he is going to bed. Is Will coming? Will says he will call Emma later, and she is left alone.

Because Emma is not answering her phone, Susan is increasingly worried, though Neil is sure she will call them before long. Susan just wants to know what is going on, whereas Neil is less grieved than angry, almost entirely with George. Susan plans to pop over to the tea room when she gets to work; Neil cautions her to tread carefully with their daughter. He knows that it can't be kept secret once the police get in touch with Alice [or presumably her solicitor. Chris] and they need to prepare themselves for that, and be there for Emma. They both know it's going to be awful.

Ed is hard at work doing the fencing, and Emma brings him a sandwich. She says repeatedly that she is sorry and that she wanted to tell him so many times, to which he replies yes, but she didn't. She cries out that she couldn't tell anyone, and he responds that she told Will. She argues that George begged her not to tell anyone, but Will saw something was wrong and confronted her about it at a particularly low moment; Ed continues to be hurt and angry because he too saw something was wrong – an idiot could have seen something was wrong! When was it? She tells him on her birthday, which doesn't help at all, and then makes it even worse by saying that really, Will is George's dad. Ed wants to know what he is, then, when he loves George and always has, as if George were his. He chooses to doubt that Emma believes this, and Emma bursts out that it wasn't about him, it was about keeping it as small as possible to protect George, and to protect Ed too: Emma didn't want him burdened with this. He is hurt: he wants to be burdened! This is them, him and her, and if she is going through something he's supposed to be right there going through it with her! They've always shared everything, he informs her, his voice cracking. Desperately she tells him George didn't want anyone to know, to be met with the argument Neil gave her the night before: it shouldn't be up to George to say what she can and can't tell Ed. She exclaims that she promised; Ed just thought they were a team, and, when she says they are a team, says no, she and Will are a team. They knew what was going on while Ed didn't have a clue. Realisation dawns on Emma: she didn't know what to do for the best, and maybe she got it wrong. Ed tells her that she did; she got it really, really wrong.

Just after George has got up after a fitful few hours' sleep Mia arrives to meet up for their meal, and finds nobody else ready to go out and George sighing in a long-suffering way. She burbles happily about them not needing to change when it's only for pizza, and Will apologises: he totally forgot. George asks 'forgot what?' and Will explains they are supposed to be going out for pizza: clearly George too had forgotten. Mia swallows any disappointment she might be feeling and says that it's totally fine, they don't have to go out, and she's happy to stay in as long as they're all together. She asks where Poppy is, and Will says she is with Clarrie and Eddie. When Mia asks him why, and what's happened, and if Poppy is all right, Will says Poppy is fine and Mia demands to know what it is, then.

Anxious parents are not top of Emma's list of people to speak with, so she tells Susan and Neil it's not a good time, Ed having just got in from work; Emma herself called in sick, as Susan discovered from Fallon. Neil tries to get Susan away, Ed goes to have a shower, and when Susan asks how things are Emma asks her in turn how she thinks they are. Susan supposes it is understandable Ed is upset, and Emma very insincerely says yes, thank you. Getting information out of her is hard, but Susan is able to discover that they haven't yet charged George but they will; Susan asks how he is and Emma tells her he's furious, hurt, and not talking to her. Neil tries to comfort her by saying he is bound to be upset, and Emma glumly tells him George said he wanted nothing more to do with her. Neil and Susan are sure that given time he'll see that Emma did the right thing, the only thing she could do, but Emma doesn't think so; she thinks he'll always remember how it felt to have his own mum go behind his back. Do they realise he could get years? Emma wouldn't blame him if he never spoke to her again. Susan tremulously tells Emma that this isn't her fault, and Emma harshly agrees: no, it isn't. It's theirs. The two of them made her do this.

Having been brought up to date, Mia asks what will happen now, but Will doesn't know. He thinks it likely that after investigating, the police will charge George and then it will go to court. She seems fixated on the idea that George could go to prison, though Will says they need to talk to a solicitor and get proper advice. Will apologises about the meal: it's a big deal, her going to uni, and they should be marking it. Mia drops a bombshell: she can't go now! Will can't seriously expect her to skip off to Newcastle when George might go to prison. Actually, yes, Will can. Mia claims she needs to be there, and George speaks up and says 'no'. Mia protests, asking how she can go away and leave him like this, and he tells her that of course she can; she has to. He might have ruined his life, but there is no way he is letting her ruin hers as well. She tells him it's not up to him, but he means it: he's got enough on his conscience without her adding to it. She's going to Newcastle. Will chimes in that he's right and he won't have her dropping everything to look after them. [Maybe he prefers his own cooking, Chris.] Anyway she doesn't need to: Will is there. She deserves to go, she's worked so hard for this. She says she doesn't want to, and George tells her it isn't about what she wants. Look, they've all got their rôles in the family, and there's only room for one failure. He's got that covered, so she's just going to have to carry on being the high achiever; he's sorry, but that's the way it is. She disputes him being a failure, and Will agrees with her, but he just says they're both wrong. Will and Mia are unanimous that they are going to get through this, and Mia condescends to take up her university place if they are that desperate to get rid of her but she'll be ringing home all the time and they had better keep her in the loop, and George had better try; he had better do everything he can to turn this around. He thinks it's a bit late for that, but she disagrees: whatever happens, he's only nineteen and he can come back from this. She means it. Don't give up.

Emma is ranting at Susan: why did she have to stick her nose in, why does she always have to stick her nose in? Neil asserts that it was both of them, and Emma viciously tells him she knows he played his part, because he's never liked George, has he. Neil is dumbfounded: of course he likes him, he loves him! Not like the others, Emma accuses him, he's always had George pegged as a bad lad. With increasing volume, shrillness and unreason she raves that she means, is it any wonder he goes and does something like this when his own grandad thinks he's a monster? Susan protests that Neil doesn't think that, and Ed comes out from his shower bellowing 'What's going on?' Emma turns on him: she should never have let 'them' talk her into calling the police. They forced her to betray George, and now look! Ed tells her to come on, that ain't fair, and, when she angrily asks if it isn't, says no, it ain't. George had this coming, and she should never have agreed to keep it secret in the first place. She starts to say 'but' and he talks over her. All this, he proclaims, is down to George, no-one else. And she has no right taking it out on her mum and dad. Suddenly deflated, she says in a strained voice that she knows, and she's so sorry, Mum, then starts to cry. Susan moves to comfort her, saying that it's all right, and Emma says no, it's not, she shouldn't be laying into Susan and Neil (Neil gently says she's upset, of course she is) when she knows they're only trying to do what's right. Ed's right, none of this is their fault, it's George's. But that doesn't stop her worrying about him! she exclaims in a tone of anguish; sobbing, she gulps out that he's in it up to his neck and there's nothing she can do to help him.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 8th September, 2024

Martha is making a garden, and Emma can’t stop digging.

Characters: Chris, Alice, Susan, Neil, Emma
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Chris has arrived to collect Alice; they are going to take Martha to the water-park. Alice however is in shock: she has just had her solicitor on the phone to tell her that the charges against her have been dropped. At first Chris doesn't believe it. Alice is somewhat incoherent but manages to confirm to him that the crash wasn't her fault, somehow, though she doesn't really understand how. She is off the hook, after the worst few months of her life. Chris is really happy for her, and they are both somewhat tearful. The solicitor has emailed confirmation. Alice doesn't know whether to screech with delight or just burst into tears, and Chris feels he could do both. All Alice really wants now is to see Martha: she is giving her the biggest hug she's ever had. They set off together; Chris can't wait to see Mum's face, or Dad's.

When they get there Susan tells them that Martha is on the patio planning her 'garden in a seed tray' entry for the Flower and Produce Show; Chris goes and shouts for his father, who is in the lounge, while Susan talks of the sandwiches and quiche she has made for their trip to the water-park and Alice thanks her for them. Susan wonders what's happening, Alice says there is something she needs to tell them, and Chris, coming back in, wants to know where Emma is. Susan tells him Emma is on a job at the rewilding with Hank Grucock and Neil arrives. Prompted by Chris, Alice then tells Susan and Neil that her solicitor rang, but starts to cry and can't explain, so Chris tells them that basically, the charges against Alice have been dropped. Alice's incoherence and Chris's triumph are somewhat of a contrast to Neil and Susan's lack of reaction, and Chris rapidly realises that something is going on and asks what it is. Susan tells him they've had a different shock, and Neil bites the bullet: George was arrested last week. Resignedly, Chris wants to know what George has done now, and Susan says haltingly that he was arrested for causing the crash. At Heydon Bridge, Neil adds. Alice can't believe it: George? Neil tells her George was driving her car.

Chris has come to accuse Emma at her place of work [and Hank Grucock doesn't tell him to sling his hook and talk to her when she isn't doing a job for him, just carries on sawing wood. Tsk. Chris] and starts by asking her if it is true; when she asks 'what' he tells her she knows what: George was driving Alice's car. She says yeah, he was. Christopher snorts: is that it, 'yeah, he was'? Emma starts to self-justify: look, she was just as shocked as he is when she found out. What did the police say to Alice? Chris tells her no-one's said anything apart from the solicitor, and asks how she found out and when. She tries to duck the question by telling him that honestly, she couldn't be more sorry, and nor could George, but this is good news, isn't it? Alice must be over the moon! Chris asks blankly if she is serious, and Emma burbles on: please tell Alice George has been that cut up about it, honestly, if Chris had seen him... Chris interrupts her: she's not getting this, is she. Her waste of space of a son nearly destroyed Alice's life, and Chris's, and Martha's, and she thinks 'sorry' is going to make that better?

Susan and Alice are having a cuppa and Neil is trying to phone either of his children, but is being sent straight to voicemail. As he tries again Susan reports on how Martha has been and how she is having so many ideas for her miniature garden. When he gets voicemail again for Christopher, Alice offers to try him, but Susan thinks it's too late: they'll be rowing by now. Neil decides he'll just have to go over there, though Susan questions whether that is a good idea. He says he doesn't want anyone saying something they regret, and tells Alice to stay with Susan, if she doesn't mind. He hopes he's not too late. When they are left alone together, Susan tells Alice how brilliantly she thinks Alice is doing since rehab; it's like she's actually herself again. Alice disclaims, and thanks Susan for being the cause of her going to rehab at all; it is then Susan's turn to be modest. When she thinks about how Alice might have had to go away again (to prison, mentions Alice) it breaks her heart for Martha. When she thinks about what might have happened... But it didn't, says Alice bracingly, and, when Susan whispers that she's sorry, begs her not to be; the two women cry together as Susan explains she is so ashamed that her own grandson could have done something this dreadful to Alice.

Chris is trying to understand why anyone would do what George is said to have done, and Emma explains that he said he panicked and didn't know what else to do. She tried so hard to get him to the police station, she begged him. Chris is taking it in: George deliberately framed Alice. Emma goes on trying to excuse him: he was so terrified of the police, and he ended up running away and then Clive brought him back and then it got even more complicated and ... Clive? asks Chris; so hang on, George told her the truth before Clive turned up. Emma repeats that she tried everything to get him to come clean, but all Chris now wants is to know when George told her. He is remembering how she was suddenly all sympathetic towards Alice. She is sympathetic, claims Emma, Chris knows she is. Chris reminds her that she was not to start with, when she made those snide online comments about Alice being drunk at the riding schoolEmma denies that she ever said she was drunk, just that she might have been – which she wasn't, says Chris decidedly, but then suddenly Emma was really supportive, and Chris thought his sister finally understood how hard it was for Alice. Emma says that she did understand, but Chris isn't having that: what she was doing was trying to protect George, to make sure no-one pointed the finger in his direction. Emma says yet again that she begged him, and said if he went to the police station himself it would be so much better for him; Chris asks softly, and what about Alice? Better for her too, obviously, claims Emma, and Chris wonders if she has even got the tiniest idea how distressing it was for her thinking she was going to prison? She could have started drinking again at any minute. Emma argues that she went to rehab and (in a less certain voice) Emma figured she'd be OK. Chris can't believe what he's just heard. Emma knows how fragile Alice is when she's in recovery, and what about Martha? And him, he adds with more volume and emotion. Does she not think they've been affected by all that stress? It's been agony, Emma knows it has. Yet again she stammers that she is so sorry, but he has no time for that: and now he finds out that she could have stepped in weeks ago and put them out of their misery. She begs him: she's sure George would have confessed, and Chris bitterly asks when; when Alice was sentenced? She cries out 'No!' as Neil arrives shouting her name and Christopher's, she calls out 'Dad!', and Chris says that he can't believe this. Every day she kept schtum, every hour, she pushed them nearer to... With his voice cracking, he says it could have gone so badly wrong. Emma yet again utters her futile 'I'm sorry'. Chris ignores her. It has gone wrong, because Martha's struggling, Emma knows she is, but Emma didn't care. Neil tries to intervene, Emma cries some more, and Chris sweeps on: because her pathetic excuse for a son, who knew exactly what he was doing when he put Alice in the driving seat, that piece of garbage, is more important than an innocent little three-year-old (Neil tries again to intervene) who can't understand why her mummy might have to leave her again. Emma starts to cry in earnest, and Neil angrily tells Christopher to look here, Emma's done her best to look after Martha; Chris shouts back that it turns out she could have done a hell of a lot more, Dad, just by telling the truth! Some sister she's turned out to be! Neil tries again to reason with him, but he shouts that he doesn't want to see, or hear from, Emma ever again, does she hear him? Never! He turns and rushes off; Emma starts after him but Neil restrains her. Let him go. She shouts that Neil has to tell him, but Neil doesn't think Chris is listening to any of them at the moment. He then encourages her to cry into his shoulder, as she wails that Christopher is never going to forgive her.

Martha is fine in the garden and Alice is providing tissues for Susan. She says that if there is anything she can do, and Susan says she doesn't want Alice worrying about anything but herself and Martha. This is the Grundys' and Carters' family mess and it is for them to deal with. Alice accepts this and changes the subject; rehab this time felt different, because she knew she could get it right, she'd proved that. Well, until she messed up, obviously. Susan is sure she will get at right, and says so. As far as Alice is concerned, staying sober is the most important thing, and the minute she needs help she'll make sure she gets it. She's never going to forget that again, not for an moment, she promises. Susan reminds her that it's not Susan she needs to make promises to, and Alice agrees but is saying it to her when really she's saying it to Martha. Susan quietly tells her she is a good person, she means it. Alice welcomes Neil's return eagerly, and asks if he found them, but he is so ponderous when he says that he did that Susan knows this isn't really good news. He tells Alice that Chris is back at the flat, or his car is anyway, and Alice at once suggests she could go and talk to him (which Neil thinks a good idea), but Martha still wants to go to the water-park so she'll see them in a minute. She leaves, and Susan asks if it was awful; Neil says with feeling that it was worse. He's not sure Christopher will ever forgive Emma. Susan wonders aloud how they are ever going to get through this.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 9th September, 2024

Harrison loses it with George, and Alice is apologising. Again.

Characters: Fallon, Alice, Brad, Jazzer, Harrison, George
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Alice has gone round to tell Fallon that George has admitted he was driving, and Fallon, though incredulous and feeling that it makes no sense, also thinks it was very cruel for George to have done that, and to have kept up such a pretence and horrific lies for so long. Alice apologises for having come round so early, but she wanted to tell Fallon herself; Fallon is really glad she did because otherwise she'd never have believed it. She invites Alice to help herself to tea, and texts Chelsea to open up the tearoom because there is no way she's going into work until she has understood all this properly. Alice wants to tell Harrison herself, too, if that's OK; Fallon is in favour [is she afraid Harrison wouldn't believe her? Chris] and says he will be back from nights any minute. Alice thought he might have heard at work, but Fallon is sure he won't have done: they're not allowed to talk to him about it and he hasn't heard anything. Fallon then bursts out that she is so incredibly relieved, and Alice says that it basically means she won't be going to prison, and she knows it sounds tragic but she's been crying herself to sleep every night and last night was the first time for weeks she dozed off with a dry pillow. She pleaded not guilty because she was totally convinced that she would never have driven in that state. [Yes, love, you had passed out. It is quite unusual to drive while unconscious, Chris.] She is still surprised that she was right.

On the phone to Jazzer, Brad is burbling about his first day at Felpersham University and all the societies and clubs; he was thinking about joining the chess club. Jazzer unaccountably feels that this shows they broke the mould with him. He rang to find out when he is needed tomorrow to help Alistair redecorate Greenacres. They arrange a time, and Jazzer then interrupts the conversation because he has seen a very big sunflower; it's the tallest sunflower he's seen in his life. Brad points out that lots of farmers grow sunflowers nowadays for winter birdseed, but Jazzer takes a photo of it to send him and he has to admit it's massive. Jazzer decides to enter it in the F&P. and then lets on to Brad about the time he entered the men only bread making category at the show and was disqualified; nobody told him you weren't allowed to use a bread-maker. Brad laughs.

At 1, The Green, George is having breakfast in the garden when Harrison comes in through the gate and demands to know whether it is true he was driving. After intimidating and shouting at George, he accuses him of 'killing my baby' and then (as an afterthought) that Harrison's wife nearly drowned. George is clearly terrified, and it sounds as if Harrison is slapping him [the BBC synopsis says that he restrains himself but that isn't what it sounds like to me. Chris] before he runs away into the house and shuts the door behind him, leaving Harrison gasping and breathing heavily while still shouting at him in fury.

Fallon and Alice are still discussing George and his (to them) inexplicable behaviour; Fallon asks if Alice has seen him, but she hasn't and thinks she is probably not allowed to. She supposes she is feeling quite detached, in a way, like it's happening to someone else, and Fallon feels she must want to find out why; Fallon knows she does. He's caused so much trouble for Alice. He's a kid, Alice says, and she'll worry about him when she's ready and not before. Anyhow, she says, she did still cause the accident by being drunk in her car. Fallon isn't impressed by that: he didn't have to frame her! Alice is determined that since her drinking put her in that car she has to take some responsibility. Fallon gets that. Alice then apologises to her, and Fallon reminds her it was George's fault Fallon ended up in that river; when Alice in turn reminds her that he got her out, her reply is a 'yeah but'. Alice moves on to telling her that Chris and Emma had a horrendous falling out yesterday – Fallon says 'oh, poor Em! – and Susan and Neil look like they've been hit by a bus. Fallon feels that Alice shouldn't be worrying about any of that, and wants to know what her dad says, and everyone else. Well, Kate and Adam are massively relieved, Alice tells her, and Lilian; Dad and Miranda are on a jolly in Lincolnshire, having been to the Burleigh Horse Trials and then gone on to an AgTech demo which Brian is interested itn, so Alice has told him the charges have been dropped but not about George's involvement; she didn't want to spoil another holiday for him. Fallon is not sure how Harrison's going to react; she then finds it impossible to explain how he has been lately, and simply repeats that she's really not sure how he'll take it.

Brad has been sent to Berrow with the lunch Jazzer left on the kitchen table [and to blazes with biosecurity. Chris] and now has to go to university, where he has an 'Introduction to Data Science' lecture; the bus is in fifteen minutes. Brad hopes that by then Robert will have finished boring for England with his dog-poo display; he has collected the bags of canine excrement people have hung in trees and dumped in hedges all round the village, and piled them on the green under a sign saying 'No Dumping', which Jazzer thinks quite funny for Robert. When he asks Brad if no-one has tried to stop Robert, Brad explains that Robert is wearing his hi-vis and you can do what you want in a hi-vis. He adds that he didn't see Jazzer's flower when he came past; that's because Jazzer has hidden it. Jazzer thinks he is guaranteed a win with it, and Brad enquires whether there is a 'tallest sunflower' category, because it sounds a bit random; Jazzer has tried to ask Fallon but she's not answering. Under further questioning he admits that it isn't exactly wild, either, because it's on Brookfield land at the back of their orchard. He reckons however that it's finders keepers and his golden ticket to victory; Brad sniggers, and Jazzer pointedly asks if he has a bus to catch so he goes off to do that.

As it happens, Fallon is just replying to Jazzer and sending him the complete schedule of classes for the F&P, and just after she's done that Harrison gets home. Fallon calls him through to hear Alice's news, and Alice takes great pleasure in telling him that all charges against her have been dropped; Harrison in turn tells them that he heard a few things at work, but they wouldn't tell him anything else so he went to the horse's mouth. Both women are taken aback, and Alice asks him if he has seen George; he says he went round. He needed to know if it was true. Will's garden gate was wide open; Fallon breaks in to ask incredulously if he went into Will Grundy's garden, and Harrison ignores her to say that George was eating his breakfast there and Harrison guesses that he couldn't deny it. Harrison claims that obviously he asked him why [and we, who heard the whole confrontation, know this is a lie: at no time did Harrison ask that question. Chris] but George didn't really answer, because, Harrison thinks, he was too scared. Fallon is horrified; please don't tell her he hurt George! For crying out loud, he's on a final warning at work! Harrison's 'no no no' and explanation that he didn't hurt him, he sort of came to his senses in time, really doesn't really placate her, though his promising that he didn't hurt George does make her say 'thank heavens for that'. But she wants to know what the hell he was playing at going round there. He says that he didn't really think, and she realises she doesn't want to continue this, so she says she has to get to work and can't leave Chelsea on her own too long. In spite of Harrison protesting, she says she needs a bit of space and will see them both later, and shuts the door behind her.

Left there together, Alice and Harrison both don't know what to say until Alice does: she is so, so sorry for all the trouble and pain she has caused Harrison; she realises that all he's ever done is try and help her, and even put his job on the line to protect her and Martha from getting in a car with Harry. Harrison tries to disclaim but she is determined: please, let her finish, she needs to say this, OK? It's been killing her and she needs to say it. He's been such a good friend to her, him and Fallon, and she is truly, truly sorry. Harrison doesn't know why she is being so nice to him when ... Alice says this is her being honest – although she is quite a nice person, believe it or not, she adds in a flirtatious voice. Can they maybe start again? Harrison says haltingly that he has been so vile to her, and none of it was her fault; she says that they both know some of it was; she stands up, pushing her chair back, and asks if they can please be friends again? Harrison says he would really like that, and she throws herself into his arms saying that she has missed him. He says that he has missed her too, as they hug each other.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 10th September, 2024

Harrison makes it all about him even more than Alice makes it all about her.

Characters: Alistair, Jazzer, Brad, Fallon, Harrison, Robert, Alice
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

It's been a long day keeping the pigs cool, and Jazzer is glad of a cold drink himself; Brad doesn't want to drink and uses the Freshers' Ball at the weekend as an excuse not to drink on a Tuesday. Jazzer offers to collect him from it and save him the cab-fare, and Brad gratefully accepts. Both Jazzer and Alistair encourage Brad about having made friends to go to the ball with, and Alistair then asks Jazzer about the giant sunflower, and Jazzer, not best pleased, tells him and Brad they need to keep it zipped about that – whereupon Alistair starts to enumerate disasters which could befall the bloom, with Brad joining in. Jazzer is unworried: he has made it safe behind a network of branches. Brad at once boasts that Poppy [age 10. Chris] has made a fantastic knitted Bartleby [it was at this point that your faithful synopsis-writer started to laugh, couldn't stop, and needed to go and lie down in a darkened room to get over it. Chris] for the show; she thinks it will cheer George up. Mention of George makes Alistair say that he and Denise don't know what to make of it; Brad says his mum reckons that George has phoned in sick to Bridge Farm, and he won't let Brad go round. Jazzer instructs him to steer clear, Brad says regretfully that George always does stuff without thinking, and Alistair muses that if they'd seen him after the crash he was amazing. And to think all the time... doing that to Alice; Alistair can't make sense of it, and Jazzer can't fathom it either. Jazzer calls them to order: what does Alistair want doing with the furniture? Brad adds that it's Chelsea's birthday so Mum is ordering a curry, and Alistair starts to concentrate on the business in hand. His plans involve a deep green feature wall and apple white on the other walls, and Brad asks which is the feature wall; they debate the question for a while and decide to get rid of the bookcase and indeed almost all of Jim's furniture including a display cabinet and a bust of Plato which Brad thinks is creepy. After Brad suggests it, Alistair muses that they could move the bust to Jim's bedroom; after all, Dad did say he could make the place more comfortable, and went away while he was doing it, which as Jazzer says was tantamount to giving Alistair free rein; Jazzer wants them to get on with it.

Fallon is late home, and Harrison tells her Alice is hoping they'll meet her at the playground. He then tells her 'we should talk' [meaning, as usual, that he wants to talk at her about him. Chris] and she gives a long-suffering sigh and says OK, maybe they should. He says he knows she's annoyed with him for confronting George and risking his job. Levelly, she tells him she's not annoyed: she's furious. He accepts the changed word but continues on his own course: it's just he wanted George to understand what he's done to Harrison. To them both. Fallon says that there it is, right there; that's what she's struggling with. He wasn't thinking of 'us' when he went charging round. Harrison is clearly hurt: so she thinks he's making it about him? She's sorry, but that is what it looks like. Harrison claims he's really not, and she very reasonably reminds him that what happened, happened to 'us'. [In fact it happened to her, because it was her body, her non-baby, her miscarriage; none of them his. Chris.] They've talked about this and agreed they need to work through it together; he says he knows. That's what she's struggling with, she tells him, because instead of figuring out how she feels about George, and about what he did, she's worrying herself sick about whether Harrison's lost his job. Harrison doubts George will make a complaint, but Fallon points out they could lose their house because she can't pay the mortgage on her own, and she can forget making a pitch for the charging station café. He didn't stop to think about any of that, did he. He stammers something, and she presses him: well, did he? He just says no, and she goes on: all their plans for the future could be ruined because he, well, he saw red and lost control, or that's what it sounds like. He replies that if he loses his job he guesses they'll just have to deal with it [that's what he said about her unwanted pregnancy too. Chris] Fallon is somewhat lost for words: really? Is that it? He says that he doesn't know what else to say, and she says 'right' and 'that's fine, then' clearly meaning that it isn't really; come on, they're late for Alice. He then says he's sure Alice could wait a few minutes, and Fallon asserts she won't keep Alice waiting, she's had the worst time and doesn't need people messing her about.

The complete re-ordering of Jim's house in his absence is being approved by Alistair, with alternative places found for Jim's bookcase and display cabinet. Brad is told off to shift the display cabinet and is in the process of refusing to touch Plato's bust when the doorbell rings; it is Robert, there as Jim's deputy, to forbid them from moving everything they had planned to move; for some reason rather than getting in touch with Alistair from Fiona's, Jim has sent Robert a text. [They 'couldn't resist the comedic potential', I suppose. Chris.] Robert is of the opinion that he is not a moment too soon and wants to know what Brad is doing with those books, then tells them the bookcase is not to be moved. [What, not even to paint the wall behind it? Give over. Chris.]

At the playground Harrison praises Martha as doing amazingly well considering all the upheaval of the past few months, thus giving Alice grounds for a bit more boring breast-beating and himself the opportunity to apologise to her for being so insensitive [which is more than he seems capable of doing to Fallon. Chris] and not being there for her, until Alice archly threatens to ban him from any more apologising and forgives the lack on the grounds they've had their own stuff to deal with. Fallon seems less than gruntled about this. Alice goes on to preach that the one thing she's learned is that feeling guilty doesn't help anyone; Harrison thinks that's another reason he went barging round yesterday and confronted George: him lying meant that Harrison fell out with Alice. He feels terrible about that breach. Fallon remarks that she still can't believe he went round there, and he says well, he did, and Fallon is right, for a few minutes he saw red and if George hadn't started crying... Alice hastens to assure him he'd have snapped out of it, but he isn't sure he would have. All his years of training, years of dealing with unpredictable young men and ridiculously stressful situations, went straight out of the window. Fallon doubts it was that simple, but he affirms that he completely lost control. He can't stop thinking about it. Alice suggests he might need to take a few days off, but he's not sure that would work, and when Fallon asks what he is saying he tells her that if anyone had seen him yesterday they'd say he wasn't fit to be a police officer. [And they'd be right, Chris.] Alice at once tells him he's a brilliant police officer, but he's not sure any more. Fallon intervenes to ask what he is saying now; he isn't sure what he's saying. Here's her worrying about him losing his job and suddenly he's thinking of what, quitting? she asks incredulously. She calls his name to get his attention; he tells her this isn't the time, and then, as she breathes an exasperated sigh, goes over to give Martha a push on the swing. Fallon asks what the hell that was, and Alice is not sure.

Jazzer quite reasonably explains to Robert that the wall is being painted so the furniture has to move. Brad shows him the amazing colours Alistair has chosen. Robert insists that as soon as the paint is dry everything must go back. Rather than just saying words amounting to 'yes dear', the two continue to argue with him, and Alistair asks what the point is of repainting if none of it is visible at the end. Brad changes the subject to Thursday'of s litter-pick and then, after some discussion of what Robert intends to do with the prize when he gets it, Brad points out some people in a car chucking the rubbish out of their car onto the verge. Robert rushes out to remonstrate with them, and Alistair locks the front door after him and proclaims his intention of sticking to his guns. He and Denise are starting a new life, and they need to feel comfortable on the occasions she's over here, so they are moving the stuff now and not moving it back.

Fallon bemoans the fact that she doesn't know what happened to the loving, confident, wonderful man she married, and Alice tells Fallon that Fallon knows he's still there, it's just been such a horrible time for all of them and they've got to find a way through it. Fallon glumly says that was what she and Harrison were doing, and Alice informs her that there is pretty-much nothing she regrets more than losing Chris. Fallon realises that they were such a strong couple, and Alice at once adds the caveat 'till her drinking finished them off', but before that she thinks maybe they weren't noticing all the little moments of damage. Fallon remarks that it adds up, and Alice agrees that it really does, but for Fallon and Harrison, there's so much love there. Fallon ruefully knows she has to stay patient, and Alice at once turns that to herself: she needs to be patient too if she is going to get back anywhere near where she was before. Fallon asserts that Alice can do it; they'll get there together, eh?

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 11th September, 2024

Shades of the prison-house for George, intimations of mortality for Brian.

Characters: Will, George, Brian, Neil, Tony
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

After his unpleasant experience with Harrison, George is skulking in 1, The Green and being surly and churlish to his father. Will, showing the patience normally attributed to saints, offers to make him breakfast and puts up with having his offer rudely spurned and with being asked if he has lost his tiny mind when he suggests a walk to clear their heads. He reads out 'Charged with perverting the course of justice and dangerous driving' and says it doesn't sound good, and George reminds him that George 'fessed up to everything and he's pleading guilty, so his brief reckons the judge has to take all that into account. Will feels that it sounds serious as in 'maybe going to jail', which leads to more lip from George. George wants to know why Emma had to grass him up; he doesn't get it. Will patiently says there's no point in going over it again; he wishes Emma had talked to him first, but she only did what she thought was best. George tells him that's garbage and he knows it. They are interrupted by loud banging at the door and someone shouting George's name and demanding that he is to get out there. Will quietly says it sounds like Brian Aldridge and George is not to worry, the door's locked; far more loudly, George tells him to keep his voice down, and then when Brian says he knows George is in there George panics, wanting to know how Brian can see them. Will calmly points out that he can't see into the kitchen, he's guessing, and after a short while there is silence from outside. When Will gets up to check that Brian is gone George panics and exclaims Will can't leave him, and, when Will tells him there is honestly nothing to worry about, asks rudely if Will is thick or something. Will tells him that a few people might be cross, but they'll get over it in time. Anyroad, now he's been charged they've got bigger things to worry about.

Outside the shop, Neil encounters a hostile Tony, who tells him they have found George's fleece in one of their sheds and someone needs to pick it up. Before Neil can say anything, an even more hostile Brian storms up loudly demanding where the hell George is hiding; he wants to know and Neil is going to tell him right now. Neil says slowly that he realises Brian is angry, and Brian says in that case he can tell Brian where George is; Tony tries to calm Brian down, and Neil says he's angry too, but having a go at George isn't going to help anyone. Brian exclaims that it will help him, because Brian needs George to know George nearly destroyed his daughter's life, and his granddaughter's. Neil firmly sets him a bit straight: Martha is his granddaughter too and he knows exactly where Brian is coming from. Brian doesn't want Neil trying to soft-soap him. Tony implores them to calm down: Jean Harvey is watching from inside the shop. Brian doesn't care who's watching. Neil tells him to make no mistake, George will answer in court for what he's done: he's been charged. The best thing for Brian to do is go home and calm down, before he makes things worse. Thus goaded, Brian promptly does make things worse by getting so worked up that he brings on an angina attack. Tony asks where his spray is, and from Brian's inarticulate gestures Neil works out it is in his inside pocket and Tony gets it out for him. Brian applies the spray and the other two help him to the bench. Neil is all ready to continue talking with Brian, but Tony suggests it is probably best if he leaves them to it. Neil asks him what he was saying about George's fleece, and Tony repeats that someone needs to take it away, because George is not working at Bridge Farm any more: he's sacked, and he doesn't think Neil needs him to say why. In a much stronger voice Brian adds that he would hope not. Neil says he will pass that on, and hopes it doesn't apply to the rest of the family: Susan, and Emma. [And Will, and Clarrie. Chris.] Tony hastily assures him it doesn't, and Neil hopes Brian feels better and takes his leave. After he has gone Brian assures Tony that he is feeling better by the minute, and they agree that they can't see this ending well for George.

Neil has gone across to 1, The Green, where Will tells him they have had Brian round banging on the door; Neil tells him and George that Brian accosted him outside the shop and was that upset he had some kind of angina attack, and George asks anxiously if he's OK. Neil says that he will be but it was pretty worrying for Neil, and for Tony. Does Will mind if he sits down? George asks again if Brian is all right now, and Neil says the pain seemed to ease but he is still angry, obviously. And Tony was. Will asks what Tony said, and Neil says they have very definitely sacked George. Will says that anyroad, it's nice to see Neil, isn't it, George. George says 'no', which shocks Will, and goes on to complain that Neil is as bad as her [meaning Emma, presumably. Chris], and Nana. Neil and Will speak briefly of the serious charges faced by George, and then Neil says that he doesn't mind George talking honestly if he doesn't mind Neil also talking honestly to him. George mutters 'whatever' and Neil lays it on the line. If they hadn't phoned the police last week would George have handed himself in? Will eagerly says he would have confessed in the end, but Neil isn't content with that: Alice might have drunk herself to death by then. George has heard she's getting better, and Neil abruptly tells him that the thing about prison is, you've got an awful lot of time to think. So that will be something else for George to consider, because Neil has to say it's not looking good. George says he's had enough of this and starts to get up to go, and Neil sharply tells him to sit down. Such is his surprise, at being given an order in a no-nonsense way, that he does as he is told, albeit telling Neil to keep his hair on. Neil continues. He can't help thinking that if George had owned up himself they would have been more lenient on him, and if he hadn't blamed Alice, well... George whines that the police were never going to listen to him, and Neil accepts that he's no lawyer; but what he's gleaned over the years is that it's all about intention. Will at once intervenes to say that George's original intention was good. George however is a bit more honest: he messed up trying to get Alice home, he messed up stopping her opening the door. At this Neil draws a halt in a determined and angry voice: no, George messed up by blaming her. George starts to make tearful noises as he says that he knows that, and has known it ever since he clicked her seatbelt into place. He's felt sick as a dog ever since, like a weight inside him that keeps dragging him down, and he thought it would go away because he helped the people in Mick's car and saved them from drowning. Will agrees that he did rescue them, Neil points out that no-one is saying he didn't, and George asks if they don't think he'd change things if he could, so he doesn't need 'you lot' grassing him up and making things worse. Neil tells him that sounds as if he's blaming other people again, and George veers in the other direction: yeah, it's all his fault, ain't it, because he's a pointless piece of ... he wishes Harrison had done what he wanted on Monday, it would be easier all round if he were out of the way. This causes a silence, broken by Neil saying 'Harrison?' in a bewildered tone, and Will asking what George means. George explains: one minute he's eating his breakfast in the garden and the next Harrison's grabbed him. Neil asks if he is saying Harrison attacked him, and without answering the question George says he bets Neil wishes Harrison had finished him off, because George does. Better for everybody, he says hysterically, leaping up and rushing away up the stairs. Will starts to go after him, but Neil stops him, with the words 'leave him'. Will can't believe Harrison would do that, then admits to Neil that he's way out of his depth. He's tried everything to get George feeling more positive, but it's so easy to get things out of proportion. They're serious charges, aren't they? Neil fears so. He knows that George needs to be able to see a future for himself, and Will agrees: if he can't, he won't get through court, let alone what follows.

The Anguses are exerting their usual calming influence: Tony has taken Brian to see them, and Brian is enjoying just watching them a bit. Tony especially likes the adolescent calves, and the two men laugh about their antics. Brian thanks Tony for looking after him and bringing him up there: it's just what he needed. Tony knows how it feels to have your child put through the wringer, and how he felt about Him: he finds it hard saying His name even now. [Poor Old Tony. Chris] The fury felt overwhelming, but he is sure that it is not worth Brian making himself ill. Brian tells him that just the worry about Alice could do that on its own. In reply to Tony's anxiety that he must look after himself because he has the whole of his family to support, Brian says rather sadly that is except the one person who would have shared it completely, and Tony agrees that he misses his big sister too. The kids have been wonderful, Brian continues, and Miranda has been very sweet, but ultimately, Alice is his responsibility. [Brian, your daughter is thirty-six this month: she is old enough to take responsibility for herself. Chris.] Tony laughs at him and points out Alice is very much her own woman; Brian admits he realises he's a bit of a Neanderthal but that's just how he feels, especially since her divorce. Tony recommends him not to repeat that to Alice, and definitely not to Kate. Brian accepts that he wouldn't say it to Miranda either: she's an extremely modern woman too, almost as bad as Pat. Tony laughs at him in mock-outrage.

After a sensible pause, Neil has followed George to his room, and asks if he can sit down; George ungraciously allows that he can't stop him. Neil starts by quietly saying that he realises George doesn't want any more lectures, and George sulkily replies that he's heard them all: 'bad things happen', 'it's how you deal with it'... Neil laughs and tells him that actually, it's how you learn from it that's the crucial thing. George tells him to tell that to Alice and Uncle Chris [neither of whom has said a word to him. Chris], and the rest; tell that to the judge, and what about Harrison too? Neil asks what he means, and George says he's been thinking: if the cops knew Harrison had come round there would that help his case? Neil tells him he's got to be joking, to which George responds that he'd probably lose his job; Neil tells him he doesn't condone what Harrison did [even though he doesn't know what it actually was any more than the listeners do. Chris], not for one minute, but he reckons he can understand it: can't George? Hasn't Harrison lost enough already? [That would be precisely nothing: like not having not caught a bus that wasn't running. Chris.] And what about Fallon? After a silence, George says 'maybe'. There is a further pause before Neil tells him he has got to stop doing things that make the situation worse. George claims he can't help it: look at what happened at Berrow. He was that lucky to get a job, and then he blew his chances for nothing. Neil won't disagree with that. It's the same now at Bridge Farm, goes on George. And now going to court and it's all happening so fast, it's like it's out of control and it keeps happening 'cause, 'cause let's face it, this is what he's like. Neil tells him to shift over and moves to sit beside him before telling him that he's going to have to build his life back up inch by inch, step by step, just like Freddie Pargetter did. George mentions that Freddie told him how it was at Young Offenders: he was terrified the entire time. Neil tells him that Freddie came out the other side, just like George will. George sobs that he's not strong enough, he knows he's not, but Neil isn't having that. Oh yes he is. He'll tell George what their family has got: resilience. George, still tearful, wishes that he did, but he can't; Neil encourages him to cry and let it all out. He's telling George now: he will come through this, Neil will make sure of that. As George sobs, Neil gently says that he's George's Grandad, and he loves him very much, and that will never change.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 12th September, 2024

Robert cheats, Jazzer takes advantage of it, and Alice muscles in.

Characters: Joy, Jazzer, Robert, Alice, Brian, David
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

As Jazzer makes a purchase in the shop he and Joy mention the whole business of George and his being charged; Joy is just bewildered about it all, and Jazzer thinks it's not looking good for George. Jazzer has heard that Clive came into the shop, and Joy says proudly that Kate really gave him hell and Joy was dead impressed; Jazzer, who has not heard about Clive having come back before, thinks that's pretty good considering the last time she saw him he was waving a shotgun in her face; Tracy couldn't wait to see the back of him. Joy greets Robert cheerfully as he comes into the shop, but he is there to be unpleasant to her by dumping a lot of wrappers with a complaint about there being too much packaging on what the shop sells [as if she were responsible for what the manufacturers choose to do. Chris]; Jazzer assumes that Robert's recycling bin is full and thus irritates Robert, who lectures Joy about the need for retail outlets to push for less packaging from their suppliers and his hopes that his gesture will inspire the village shop to do just that. Joy says she is inspired to put it in the recycling bin out the back, and Jazzer pushes the line that Robert's bin is full. Robert waffles about small actions making a big difference to society and is about to gallop off to do good by clearing up some litter he has seen endangering the birds near the bird-hide on Arkwright Lake. Before he escapes Joy reminds him about the litter-pick that afternoon between four and six; Jazzer lets on Robert is so confident of winning he intends to donate his prize of a meal for two at Grey Gables to the Borsetshire Wildlife Trust raffle, Joy points out that he hasn't won it yet and Robert says that he will. When Joy says young Jack's got his heart set on winning, Robert says they must hope Jack takes disappointment well, and whisks out. Joy is indignant and Jazzer remarks that the man's getting obsessed. Joy supposes it is in a good cause.

It's obvious that Alice has dragged Brian to another miraculous same-day appointment with his GP, because she is now congratulating herself on having established what he already knew, that he is fine, and also treating him as a child and talking to him in that special voice reserved for the moribund and the imbecile. [But has she got him a prescription for a new Nitrolingual pump spray for his heart? They start to go 'off' once they have been opened. Chris.] When Brian tries to find out what Neil had to say about it all, she is completely unhelpful but asks why, getting an insouciant 'nothing' from Brian in return. Brian in turn asks how Alice is feeling; she says she may have the lowest blood-pressure in the village right now. Everyone is either furious with George and family (which they fully deserve, Brian interjects), or feeling guilty for being horrible to Alice, or confused about the whole thing; Alice claims that mostly she is just incredibly positive. However, she wants Brian to promise her he'll stay out of it. He objects that they can't let George Grundy get away with something like that, but she means it: the law will decide. Brian worrying about it will just make him poorly, and none of them wants that. He concedes the point. He thinks it is very big of her to see it as a miracle that the whole tremendous trauma is over and they can start to live their lives again, to which she smugly replies that she can choose to see it like that and it is something she's finally learnt. She asks after Home Farm and whether the maize harvest is under way, but no: the wet weather in winter and spring has set everything back. Brian goes to answer the doorbell.

Jazzer is protecting 'his' sunflower when Robert hears him and comes over with a bin-bag full of rubbish from around the hide, though why he's carried rubbish from one side of the village to the extreme other side is not clear. As they are looking at a broken umbrella David comes by on a quad bike and stops to greet Robert and applaud the litter-pick idea in general; Robert takes the opportunity to suggest that David should provide a dog-poo bin down by Heydon Bridge. [Is Robert going to empty it? Getting the bins emptied is the problem, after all. Chris.] Robert seems to see the sunflower and Jazzer quickly suggests to David that as a busy man he might need to be somewhere, and he is blocking the road; David reluctantly drives on. Robert then remarks on the sunflower, but Jazzer brushes him off, and once Robert has gone gets on with hiding the flower.

The person at the door was Jean Harvey, who has seriously annoyed Brian. Alice offers him a sip of water and tells him to calm down. Initially, Brian says, Jean was full of concern: was Brian all right? had he seen the doctor? But then, then she got to her real point, which was that Brian's behaviour outside the shop had been 'unedifying'. Her pièce de résistance, in true Jean Harvey style, was that Jenny would have been ashamed to see him like that. Since this is what Brian told Alice on the occasion of her drunken maundering just before the accident, Alice reminds him that they've all heard that line, thus wrong-footing him. It was pretty upsetting, she tells him, but then adds 'mostly because it was true' in proper holier-than-thou style. For some reason Brian tells her that her mother would have been extremely proud of her now, and Alice agrees that she would. Brian then apologises for telling her to plead guilty, and Alice magnanimously forgives him on the grounds that he thought it would reduce her sentence, she gets that. She does however allow herself some self-congratulation about her instincts having been right, and thanks him for supporting her: everyone's been great. He thinks she needs a few days to get used to the new normal, and proposes to skip Ruairi's graduation in London tomorrow, to which he is supposed to be going, because he thinks she needs him there. She exclaims against this, but he is determined. She then says cheerfully that at least she won't have to fork out for more regression therapy, and Brian tells her that she needs to focus on her work, for now. She will, but this week she is actually glad Carlotta's still at The Stables, though she hates to admit it. Carlotta has really stepped up: Alice wouldn't have been able to concentrate on anything

After pontificating over a sound system about a cleaner countryside benefiting their wildlife, their livestock, and their whole community, David hands the microphone over to Joy for the results of the competitive litter collecting. Runner up with a bag and a half of rubbish is 'young Jack Archer', but the winner, with two and three quarters, is Robert Snell. Robert arrives just too late to hear this and has to be told by Jazzer, who wants to know where he has been; he was delayed by BBQ sauce getting on him, it seems. He sends a text to the Wildlife Trust to offer them his prize for their raffle, and Jazzer spots some litter which was in the load that Robert was wandering around with earlier in the day. Just then Joy and David come over to congratulate him and give him his voucher, so Jazzer is able to ask whether the litter-tally is for the two hours of the litter-pick or over the whole day, and Joy says that she assumes just during the litter-pick; David says he doesn't think anyone cares so long as they're cleaning the village up. David and Ruth spot Denise and go to thank her for her help, leaving Jazzer to point out to Robert that one of his winning bags is from earlier, and Denise must have accidentally counted them all. Robert realises that he left them all together and forgot to explain; he then wants to know how much Jack got and remarks with relief that he still won by a quarter of a bag. Jazzer says sternly that some folk might disqualify him for his 'mistake', and rather than doing what Robert would previously have done and go to sort out the mix-up, Robert says it would be really embarrassing to have to ring the Wildlife Trust and withdraw the prize, and then allows himself to be blackmailed into saying nothing about Jazzer's giant sunflower, chuckling over the phrase 'don't mention the sunflower'.

Alice has prepared supper for Brian, since Kate is not in the house in which she lives, and as he prepares to eat smoked mackerel agrees with him that he is fine and she doesn't have to fuss. By some strange Ambridgonian twist of logic this is why she left a message for Ruairi in order to arrange for Ruairi to get her a ticket for his graduation so that she and Brian can both go. Ruairi has texted her back to say that he does indeed have a spare ticket, and Alice feels he has worked hard and deserves to celebrate properly. She then yawns loudly, apologises, and tells Brian that for the first time in months she had Martha for the night last night and didn't sleep much as a result. She then hears her phone: it's a text from Ruairi and yes, she and Brian can both go. Brian says they will have a double celebration; he is sure they'll have a splendid day, and so is Alice. She honestly can't wait. [It ought to be Ruairi's day, not one he has to share with someone else, dashitall! Chris.]

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 13th September, 2024

Harrison seizes his chance, and Ruairi collects his degree.

Characters: Will, Chris, Brian, Alice, Ruairi, Harrison, Emma
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

On seeing Chris going to The Bull, Will hails him across the green; Chris is not at all pleased to see him, and even less pleased when Will tries to tell him 'how desperately sorry' they all are, George included. Chris has nothing to say about George. Will tries to tell him that George is desperate to apologise to Alice but isn't allowed to speak to her; Chris makes it clear he is not passing any messages on to her, so Will falls back on wanting George to be able to explain to Chris how he is feeling. Chris says savagely that he doesn't give a toss how George is feeling, just like George didn't give a toss about Alice, or Chris, or Martha when he was lying through his teeth for months. Will tells him that they were angry too when they found out what happened, and Emma's still distraught now; worse even with her and Chris falling out. Light dawns on Chris: oh, he gets it, his sister sent Will. Will denies it, and tells Chris she begged George to go to the police: they both did. Chris realises that Will knew too, and neither of them did anything about it. Will anxiously tells him they were trying to get George to see sense, and calls Chris 'mate' as he says he has to understand that. All Chris understands, mate, is that Will and Emma knew the truth for weeks but didn't lift a finger to help Alice and Chris. He tells Will, emphatically, to get out of his way. Rather than getting out of the way Will goes on trying to talk to Chris, telling him he's sorry and this isn't how they wanted it to turn out. Chris bets it's not.

Brian and Alice have found the venue for the graduation ceremony, and according to Brian are ridiculously early for a four-o'clock ceremony. Alice gushes over the building, though without saying where it is, then goes to get a graduation ceremony booklet, and in her absence Ruairi greets Brian with a glad cry of 'Dad!'. She gets back and the siblings hug each other, and Brian disparagingly supposes they'll be having a group hug soon; Alice tells him not to worry and they won't inflict that on him, but Ruairi adds 'not yet, anyway'. Ruairi then has to go upstairs to get his cap and gown; Brian arranges with him that once he has fetched those, they will see him in the café Ruairi likes. Alice will get him a coffee.

At The Bull, Chris is having a pint with his actual mate, Harrison, and they talk about the cricket and promotion to division four. Chris thinks he is still in shock about Alice: how he is feeling flips from one extreme to the other, over the moon one minute and raging the next. Harrison feels that the truth being out is something, and Chris bemoans having been powerless from the beginning, on the sidelines, and even now all he does is react to what other people say and do. Harrison is aware that he made everything worse going and dealing with George the way he did, and Fallon is still fuming. Chris reckons the only thing he gets to decide is who he is going to be most frustrated with today, and that's been hard because most of the time it's been with the one person he actually cares about. [Martha is only a person when they remember. HedgeSparrow.] A lot. Harrison guesses at Alice and when Chris confirms it, says him too – when all the time she was completely innocent. So today, Chris muses, he can't decide if he is more angry with Emma, Will or George. Harrison asks if that's because they're his parents, but to Harrison's incredulity Chris says it's because they knew what he'd done and just sat on it. He expands: George 'fessed up to Emma weeks ago; his own sister knew and never said a word. Apparently she was trying to make him go to the cops himself, which was never going to happen. Chris can't believe she betrayed him like that and chose her own toe-rag of a son over Chris's own family: they were close to breaking and she didn't give a stuff, and when he bumped into Will just now it turns out that he knew and all. Harrison wants to get this clear: Chris means that Will and Emma knew George had lied? Chris confirms it. Harrison probes further: when exactly does Chris reckon they found out?

Alice realises the queue is starting to die down so they'd better order lunch, and Brian notices that Ruairi's coffee has gone cold and wonders where he is. Brian wants to have a look at the graduation programme and see Ruairi's name in print, and when Alice looks she sees that four o'clock is all engineering degrees and she can't see Ruairi's course. As she is checking again her phone rings: Ruairi wants to know where they are because the ceremony's about to start and the usher is saying everyone needs to take their seats. It's not at four, as Brian said, but at two, fourteen hundred. Alice instructs him to tell the usher they are on their way, and when she tells Brian what has happened he doubts that he misread it. She just thinks they need to get their skates on.

After dealing with the turkey poults in George's stead, Will goes to see Emma, and brings her up to date about George still refusing to come out of his room, and still fuming about Emma calling the police. Emma says her parents were right, but Will still wishes she'd told him before calling the police. [To what possible end? He had nothing to contribute at that point. Chris.] Will tells her that Neil was brilliant on Wednesday, firm but fair, and it worked betted with George than any kind of sympathy. Let's face it, says Will, George is not happy with anyone, specially not himself. Emma knows how George feels: no-one left for her to upset, is there. The way Chris was with her at the rewilding, he might as well have spat on her. Will tells her that he tried having a word with Chris earlier but shouldn't have bothered, because Chris seemed even angrier afterwards. Emma says ruefully that Ed's not great either and has been on different jobs from her all week: he just can't bear to see her. After re-running their various concerns and complaints, and defences of George as 'just a kid', they arrive at Will asking how Fallon has been with Emma, but the two haven't seen each other. Emma wonders if she should message her before she has shifts at the tea-room next week, but when he finds out that Fallon is having a day off Will thinks it might be better to go round and talk to her face to face. [This has worked so well for both of them so far. Chris.] Emma isn't sure she's brave enough, so he agrees to go with her.

After the ceremony is over Brian and Alice are talking about the photos and video Alice took of it all, which Kate has already forwarded to Ruairi's family in Ireland. When he arrives Ruairi apologises for the time mix-up and says he has been distracted by job interviews; he heard this morning that he has got the grad scheme for a finance company based in the city. Alice shrieks excitedly and Brian expresses himself as being as proud as Punch, and he knows Jenny and Siobhán would have been just as proud too. Ruairi is pleased, embarrassed and a little emotional, and Alice says this is exactly the moment for a group hug whether Brian likes it or not. Brian accedes to her and Ruairi's enthusiasm.

Unfortunately for Will and Emma, it is not Fallon but Harrison who opens the door of Woodbine Cottage; he tells them Fallon is watching telly. Emma launches into her 'so, so sorry' speech, which leaves him unmoved: he asks flatly if that's it. Emma asks if she can please speak to Fallon, but he stonewalls, and then asks if she plans to tell Fallon how long she knew what George had done before she made that call. As Will starts to say he's not sure [not sure how long it was, or not sure what business it is of Harrison's, is not clear. Chris] Harrison tells him not to bother, because one of Harrison's police colleagues will be coming to speak to them about that. It's called 'assisting an offender', says Harrison with relish. Will asks 'what?' and Harrison expands on this, with more animation than he had previously shown: the crime. That they've committed. Emma stammers that she doesn't think... and dries up, and Harrison prompts her: doesn't think what? Is she saying she doesn't think they've done anything wrong? Will says that they realise it wasn't ideal, and Harrison snarkily repeats the phrase: not ideal, then repeats it in a murmur: not ideal. That's funny. He'll tell Fallon that: not ideal. They'd best head home, because they'll be getting a knock on their door any minute [which door? They don't live in the same place. Chris] and he doesn't want them to miss it. He shuts the door on them emphatically. On the doorstep, Will asks if that's right, assisting an offender, and Emma says tremulously that it must be, Harrison's a copper, isn't he. Will grumbles that this thing gets worse every moment, and wonders how the hell they are going to deal with this.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 15th September, 2024

Will desponds, Ed tries to keep a brave face, and Kenton is climbing the furniture.

Characters: Emma, Will, Ed, Jolene, Kenton
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Mel Ward
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Emma has made Will some coffee, his third of the day, and remarks she wouldn't be able to sleep with that much caffeine in her; not that she can sleep anyway, because every time she shuts her eyes she's back in that police station. Will didn't know what to say because he didn't want to get George into even more trouble; Emma just told the police everything, and Will agrees that he did too, in the end. Whatever they did doesn't affect George. Only them, and their families, Emma agrees. Will grumbles that this makes things even more complicated. Ed comes in saying that Joanne has taken Keira on a hack. He is slightly taken aback to find Will there but is civil enough: he plans to walk Keira home so nobody in the village says anything horrible to her. Emma wonders whether she should have stayed at the other riding school, but Ed says Keira loves The Stables, and everyone there especially Alice. When Ed asks how they are, both Will and Emma say they have been going over and over what they said to the cops and whether they'd got things wrong, which Ed finds strange: surely all the cops needed to know was when they found out, but Emma is clear that the police also wanted to know why they didn't report George. Emma says that once she started talking everything came rushing out: that poor policewoman couldn't keep up. Will feels that it was a relief in a way, and Emma concurs: finally they could let it out and she feels a bit better for it. Hiding stuff really weighs you down. Ed remarks pointedly that she didn't have to hide it from everyone, did she, and she reminds him that she has said sorry. Ed is aware that George made them promise, but it doesn't seem as if he thinks that was a good reason. Will remarks that now they've got to wait for the Crown Prosecution Service to decide what they are going to do about Will and Emma, and Emma says they have no clue how long that's going to take. More waiting, Ed comments, only this time... 'It's us,' Will finishes the thought. He's taking George to the magistrates' court tomorrow; he won't be taking Emma because George won't let him, but it's only a formality. Emma says 'poor George', but Ed reminds her there are other people to consider now: Keira and Poppy, for a start. If Will and Emma get a prison sentence – no, he doesn't want to talk about it either but they've got to face up to things. Keira's not silly: she knows something's up. Will adds that Poppy keeps asking him what's wrong. She's already stressing about George going off to Young Offenders. Will reveals that he had to tell Bev [his mother-in-law, Nic's mother and Poppy's grandmother. Chris] yesterday, and after a long talk she agreed it's best for Poppy to be at Grange Farm for now because she was worried about George being a bad influence. Ed is more concerned that if Keira finds out from someone else she'll freak, and with George in court tomorrow the whole story is bound to end up on social media; he reckons they should tell Keira today that there is a chance, a remote chance 'of me going to prison like my mum' Emma cuts in. Will adds that in that case he'll have to tell Poppy today as well.

Jolene and Kenton are making a fuss of their tortoiseshell Grange Farm feral kitten [as found a home with them by Pip, who had never encountered a farm cat before July this year. Chris] and saying that she is so friendly she will make a perfect pub cat. Kenton is calling her 'Catty', but Jolene thinks they will have to do better than that. [I foresee a 'name the kitten' competition and fierce rivalry. Chris.] Jolene reports that Fallon and Harrison will not be coming round later, and also that Fallon is ducking the Flower and Produce Show, which she was meant to be organising. Kenton is struggling to believe that anyone would do that, by which it turns out he means 'cause a crash and then blame it on someone else' rather than evade a responsibility. And then to let people call him a hero! Jolene points out that George did save Fallon from drowning, and Kenton's voice is squeaky with emotion as he argues that it was George's fault. He throws George's 'hero' tankard into the bin, saying that if they had one for Emma Grundy or for Will they would go in there too. Jolene indignantly wonders why the hell they didn't tell the police. She just hopes Fallon is doing better now; Kenton asks if she is still worrying about Harrison, and Jolene is afraid so. [Harrison having a breakdown really cannot be laid at Will and Emma's door; he started having it well before they were known to be involved at all. Chris.] The kitten distracts them, and they then return to the Flower and Produce rather than the transgressions of the various Grundys; maybe they should enter something.

Surprisingly, Keira already knew what was going on, perhaps because the adults in her life have discussed things freely where she could hear them, in this case Will telling Clarrie all about it outside her window. Ed was astounded to discover that she plans to talk to the judge and tell him to leave Emma alone; he thinks they should be proud of her because that is so mature. [Maybe by Grundy standards... Chris.] Emma compares her bravery with how scared Emma herself was when Susan was sent to prison. Ed promises that he will be there for Keira if the worst happens: the whole family with be there for her. Shakily, Emma bemoans the fact that they won't be there for her: Chris still won't speak to her. To the accompaniment of much bleating Ed tries to console her by saying that at least the Texels are thriving and, when she is not absolutely delighted by that, says they have enough problems and should be glad that something's going right. Emma hastily says that she is. After a couple more false starts Ed mentions that Auntie Rose had her op, and Emma says it was on Friday. Anyway, if Emma will check the water troughs Ed will sort out the supplements.

The kitten is now three feet higher up, on top of the bar fridge, having got there in one leap from the bar, and Kenton is trying to tempt her down with some chicken. Jolene reckons they need the stepladder because they have to get her down before opening. Kenton wants to talk about the Flower and Produce show and a possible entry, and Jolene is not entirely enthusiastic after her failure last year when her profiteroles were knocked out by Joy's Sachertorte. He suggests that if she enters a dessert and wins, they can put the dish she wins with onto the menu at the pub as award-winning; Jolene can see what he means. Kenton adds that as far as he knows the only person entering that category so far is Barry, whom Jolene feels fairly sure she can beat. He is then distracted again by the small feline attraction, but fails to persuade her down and suggests a fruit pie for the show, maybe something exotic. Jolene thinks it would be better if the ingredients were local, and, as he climbs onto the chair she has fetched in order to reach the kitten, he suggests they need an eye-catching twist that's also local: apple and elderberry or apple and rosehip, say? Jolene remembers that what they like in the States is apple pie with cheese, and both are available locally: apples from Brookfield and cheese from Bridge Farm. As he looks on top of the fridge Kenton agrees she might have something with apple and cheese. Jolene suggests they should both enter them, which Kenton sees as doubling their chances of winning and hails as genius. He then realises that the kitten is not actually up on top of the fridge, and when Jolene looks, she has teleported back down unnoticed and eaten the chicken Kenton left on the floor as he climbed up.

Ed greets Will and offers him a beer, but Will turns it down. He's had a difficult interview with Poppy, who couldn't stop crying. He tried to play it down, saying it was really unlikely and so on, but... Ed asks if she is OK now, and Will says that Keira came over and took her for a walk with Clarrie, which will perk her up a bit; Ed tells him that Keira already knew everything and he's amazed she hadn't told Poppy. Mum did her best to cheer Poppy up, according to Will, telling her they'd get through it, but then after they got back Dad turned up and, by being upset himself, upset Poppy all over again. Ed is surprised Eddie was upset, and William says he rushed off suddenly to check on the turkeys but obviously he wasn't right. Emma comes out having failed to get the kip she had hoped for, because she couldn't relax; she asks Will how Poppy took it, and he says she seemed to understand it in the end. Emma is glad: at least they know now. Ed puts in that Keira is really angry with George, and Will says that Poppy is the exact opposite; Ed tells him that Keira said they've agreed not to talk about it, so it's fine between them and they are as close as ever. Emma wishes the adults could do that; so does Will, but the way things are going ... He's all Poppy's got left. Emma exclaims against that, saying she's got the whole family, but Will is not sanguine. If anything else happens he reckons Bev [who kept Poppy on a previous occasion and refused to return her to her father. Chris] will try taking her off him again. Ed firmly says they won't let that happen, and Emma promises there's no way, but Will says they might not have any choice.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 16th September, 2024

Adam makes a stand, and Tom has a Good Idea. God help us all, sa Tiny Tim.

Characters: Tom, Pat, Susan, Will, Adam, Emma
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Mel Ward
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Since Emma has called in sick for the second day in a row, Tom is somewhat exercised about who is to do her work; Pat offers herself to help Fallon when she is free. Tom then claims that they drove past Grange Farm yesterday [which cannot in fact be done, unless you plan to drive into the river. That road goes only to Grange Farm. Chris] and Emma was out helping Ed with the Texels, so she can't be that ill. They had all this when George was phoning in sick, and Tom knows she's got a lot going on but it's infuriating. Pat isn't sure what they can do about it: it's a complicated situation. None of which, as Tom says, is their fault. He is going to ring her; and he wants to know where Susan and Clarrie are; Pat hopes they are on their way and mentions that Tony is really struggling with the milking just as Susan arrives. She announces that Clarrie won't be coming in: she has had to go to Great Yarmouth for a few days to nurse her sister Rosie after an operation. Tom sighs resignedly and tells Pat she'll have to cover in the Dairy not the tea room. And he has to get on: there's tons of work in the polytunnels he needs to check on [his words: he did not say he would be doing this work. Chris] so he leaves the two women together. Susan volunteers to work a bit later if that helps and is sure Joy wouldn't mind holding the fort at the shop. [And to blazes with anyone who wants to buy a stamp during the Post Office opening hours, eh? Chris.] Pat thanks her, then asks how things are with her, and then, not deceived by Susan's bright and breezy manner and various gossip about the F&P show and how entries are down because Fallon is not at the helm, asks if Susan is OK when she has such a lot on her plate at the moment. Susan deflects: she just hopes Clarrie's sister is getting on all right. Pat grasps the nettle and says they heard about Emma and Will: Lilian phoned this morning and they know at the pub, having heard from Fallon. Susan tells Pat she is so sorry, to which Pat immediately says 'nononono' and that she just wanted Susan to know they are aware, and if she feels she needs some support, she only has to ask. Susan thanks her but feels she is best getting on with it: if she keeps busy there's no time to dwell. She suggests getting changed so they can crack on.

A gossip between Adam and Will as they load the veg boxes for delivery, about Ian joining the PTA and volunteering to be the class rep, is interrupted by Pat, who has brought the yoghurts for the day's deliveries, and then by Will saying he'll be off then and getting into his car. Adam wonders where he's off to, since everything is ready for this morning's deliveries, and Pat explains that he has to take George to the magistrates' court in Borchester. This takes Adam totally by surprise, and when Pat tells him that Emma called in sick today he is similarly clueless about it, though Pat tells him that she expects Emma didn't want to see Fallon. He asks if he is missing something, and Pat asks hesitantly if Lilian called him; he replies that he hasn't had time to listen to the two voicemails he had from her this morning: what's going on?

Tom hails Emma and claims he was just passing [see note above. Chris] and saw her hanging up the washing. He then produces a different excuse: that he had to fetch a wheelbarrow Eddie borrowed last week. Next he asks if he can pop over later for a quick chat; he knows she is off sick and things are difficult for her, but they really value her at the tea room, and as a neighbour and friend as well, so if they can help at all they are there for her. She thanks him, and he says he'll pop over in the afternoon and bring some cake.

Having heard from Pat of Emma and Will's iniquity in knowing for weeks that their son had done something criminal but not saying anything, Adam is glad they were arrested: they deserve it and he hopes they throw the book at them. Pat reports that Tony thinks it's 'assisting an offender' or something like that. Adam claims to be gobsmacked: they knew how awful, how precarious, things were for Alice, how much she was struggling! Emma certainly knew, and at any moment Alice could have started drinking again, he exclaims histrionically, and all the time... No, no, he's sorry, Pat, he can't trust himself to be anywhere near Will Grundy. How can he work with a guy after he's done that to Alice? Pat is genuinely gobsmacked but manages to stammer that she sees. Adam asserts that he has been with Alice every step of the way, and if Will is coming back for the deliveries, well, Adam can't be there to help him, he's sorry but no way. With a sigh, Pat tells him that if that's how he feels they'll sort something out. Adam grumbles that he doesn't even want to clap eyes on Will, or on Emma. Pat briskly tells him that she completely understands; for now, how about him helping up at the polytunnels? Fine, yeah, yeah, he'll do that; sorry, Pat, but this is too much, it really is.

Susan asks Will if George wasn't too scared at the magistrates'; according to Will he was like a frightened little boy but managed not to let it show. Susan wonders if he might have done better not to try to hide his feeling and it might be good if they see he's upset. Will hadn't thought of it like that. Susan is glad George got through it, and Will says he is just going to have a quick coffee back home with him – which is what he is in the shop to buy, and he'd better get the biggest jar – and then he has to get back to Bridge Farm and get on with his deliveries. Susan warns him that things there have kicked off a bit since he went: Adam found out that Will and Emma knew about what George had done and is refusing to work with him. And with Clarrie over in Norfolk Tom would normally put Adam in the dairy, but Pat is still covering there so it looks as if he doesn't want to work with Susan either. Will tells Susan he's sorry about that, and she tells him that it's not his fault but she wanted to say, she's glad they've told Poppy and Keira everything because she's been worrying about them finding out at school. Will says that Poppy was a lot better after she talked to Keira, and Susan remarks that family's what counts in situations like this. Will exclaims that he doesn't want to be in a situation like this ever again: it's killing him! Susan reminds him they are all feeling it, so she was thinking: maybe they should all have a family day at the Flower and Produce on Sunday, what does Will think? He reckons she can ask Eddie or maybe Ed, but he won't be going, not now anyroad. Susan argues that Poppy is entering something, but Will says that Keira will have to take her, or Clarrie if she's back by then. He managed to block everything out at work this morning, but now Adam's said that... Susan tells him Adam is up at the polytunnels, but Will is not consoled: everyone in that crash, not to mention Alice and Chris and now Adam, all of them were friends, good friends, that he can't look in the eye any more. Susan declares that it will pass, and, when Will laments that he is not sure that it will, speaks of her own experience when she came out of prison: it was dreadful to start with, but gradually, bit by bit, things improved. Will groans that he doesn't know, but Susan honestly thinks that anyone with kids, if they thought about it for even a minute, as a parent they'd have some sympathy for him and Em, surely. Will really hopes she's right, but it's going to be so much worse for George. Susan knows, and doesn't really need Will to add that George is bricking it and doesn't think he'll survive if he goes to Young Offenders.

Emma thanks Tom for the cakes, saying they look lovely; Tom tells her they are Fallon's cupcakes, which she did already know. She doesn't think she can... but Tom cheerfully tells her to save them for later. He asks how she is feeling, and she replies it's hard to say; Tom tells her if she is genuinely poorly to please tell him to sling his hook because he'd never want to encourage someone back to work if they weren't well, but is this about Fallon? Emma tells him she honestly cannot face her. And she is feeling stressed, that's completely true. She has been worrying herself sick about George, and now what happens with the kids if she and Will get sent to prison. Tom is shocked and asks if she thinks that's a possibility; yes, she does. Tom agrees that must be really stressful, but, well, staying home? It going through her head all the time? Is that helping? Emma's answer is 'not remotely'; it's like hell. Well then, Tom coaxes, how would she feel about maybe having a chat about coming back to the tea room? Emma tells him she can't and says she thinks Fallon must be so angry with her; Tom allows her to think that Fallon is more upset than angry and he has suggested the three of them meet in the tea room tomorrow to talk about it. He would be there so he can chip in with any thoughts, whatever helps. Emma is surprised to hear Fallon agreed, but Tom assures her Fallon did. Emma tells him that she wants to work but she just doesn't think there's any way back from this, but Tom claims to have an idea about how to sort things out; what does she think? Why not give it a go? Emma doesn't know what to say: is he sure Fallon wants to do this? She's blocked all Emma's messages. Tom assures her that Fallon has said she does. The truth is, they're struggling to manage without her. Under pressure, Emma does agree, if Fallon is willing to see her then of course she'll come. She thanks him for doing this. 'You're very welcome,' says Tom.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 17th September, 2024

Tom's idea is the resounding success you'd expect, and Eddie shows his true colours.

Characters: Eddie, Will, Ed, Emma, Susan, Tom, Fallon
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Mel Ward
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Someone else (in this case Will) mending a gate that Eddie said he would get round to mending irritates Eddie, who sounds off and then apologises with the excuse that it's been a bit of a day: he got dirty looks and lots of whispering at the market, and Clarrie is staying in Norfolk for a bit because Auntie Rosie is still rickety on her feet. Oliver has gone shopping because they're running out of stuff, and, when Will protests that Clarrie's only been gone a day, Eddie retorts that it all happened sudden and they [meaning Clarrie. Chris] never had time to stock up. Will is not being allowed to help Ed at the rewilding because 'it's specialist stuff managing the rides and glades' [and something he only did professionally for over twenty years as a gamekeeper. Chris] and he was doing deliveries all afternoon; luckily there was no sign of Adam. Before Eddie goes for the cuppa he says he is gasping for, Will asks for reassurance: if the worst comes to the worst and he gets sent to prison (which Eddie is sure won't happen) he needs to know Poppy will be OK. That Eddie and Clarrie will look after her. Bev says she'll help out but Will would rather Poppy stays at Grange Farm if that's OK with Eddie. Eddie tells him he doesn't even need to ask, but Will says he does need to because it's a big thing, massive. Eddie asserts firmly that nothing's too big for family, not in his book, though obviously not everyone thinks like 'us', by whom he means Susan and Neil: what in God's name did they think they were doing making Emma phone the coppers on our George, he rants, with rising indignation and volume; he can't get his head round it. It's the last thing you do to family, grassing up their own grandson! Will tries to make him see it wasn't like that; they've talked about this. Eddie should stick the kettle on and Will will join him when he's finished up. Eddie agrees to make some tea, but reiterates that he is not going to change what he thinks, Will has no chance.

Before Emma sets off for her meeting with Fallon, Ed asks if she is sure about this; she isn't. Ed tries to persuade her to have something to eat first, but she just wants to get it over with. She thinks it is really nice of Tom to do this, but Ed is dubious; she can't know that Fallon wouldn't have agreed to see her otherwise. She reminds him that she went round last week [and was turned away not by Fallon but by Harrison. Chris] and Ed remarks that he doesn't reckon Fallon will be deliberately awkward; Emma says Fallon is just angry and upset and Emma gets that. Ed works out that Fallon is entitled to say how she feels, and Emma sharply informs him that's why she's going. And she'll be knackered: it sounds like they're really understaffed; Ed suggests that Emma should ask for a pay-rise. He is worried about their business, which he can't run on his own: this is exactly why he wasn't sure about starting it. When Emma argues that even if they have to cut back then can always get it going again, Ed gloomily says if they want to. Emma asks what he means, and he explains that with both of them in it, if something like this happens it leaves them open to disaster; Emma disagrees. They need their tree surgery to work because the tea room was only ever a means to an end and now even Fallon isn't in charge there any more it's precarious. When she adds that they love working together, don't they, and gets silence in reply she says 'fine' and then that she'll see him later. As the door shuts behind her he huffs out his breath.

Susan has caught up with Eddie and wants to have a word with him about what they plan to do if... He is surly and unhelpful, and refuses to accept the possibility that either Will or Emma may go to prison, before attacking Susan along the same lines he was ranting about to Will. His tone is remarkably nasty, and he accuses her of wanting George to suffer, claiming that he would never rat on his Mum and Dad [is there any evidence for this? Chris], and wanting to know why Susan told Emma to make that call when she didn't need to. Susan points out that Alice was having a terrible time, but Eddie seems to think that her having done rehab again is a good job because it was her boozing that caused the crash in the first place. George was only trying to help her, he claims, and what does he get for that? Susan says it was a difficult situation for him [to do the right thing or the wrong one? He seemed to have no difficulty with that decision at all, either when he took the car or when he framed Alice. Chris] and Eddie furiously maintains that he jumped in the river and saved folk from drowning, so why does he have to go to court? He's nineteen years old and he's terrified. And he's family. Why the blazes would you make that call? Susan sticks to her guns: it's about doing the right thing. Eddie, his voice rising, wants to know how it is right for Our George; Susan bravely tells him she really doesn't think it's that simple, so he starts to bully her, demanding that she answer him and telling her he wants to know: is it right for our grandson to get sent down? Answer him! She's sorry, but yes.

Tom and Emma are on time for Tom's mediation session; Fallon has not yet arrived [in spite of it having been set up in her place of work where she has been all day. Chris] but Tom has got her coffee. She arrives and apologises for being late, and Tom tries to smooth over the awkwardness by talking cheerfully about them all being there and asking how they should do this. He asks Emma if she would like to kick them off, and she tells him she would prefer not to. She's already said everything in her messages to Fallon. Nothing can change the fact that she's betrayed her best friend so she's got every right to hate her. Prompted by Tom, Fallon says she's angry, yes, that's no surprise. Emma concurs. Tom says he knows Emma is very sorry about how it's affected every one, and Emma assures them both that she couldn't feel any worse, especially since it's ended up hurting Fallon who has gone through so much. With what George... With what her son did that night Fallon nearly died. [Which made no difference to Fallon's feelings about Emma between 5th May and last week. Chris.] Fallon mentions what he did to Fallon's other best friend, whom Tom quietly explains is Alice, just in case either woman has forgotten her name. Emma knows Alice was really struggling. And still is, Fallon mentions; and there's Martha. Tom asks how they can move things forward, and Fallon wants to know in what way, to which he replies 'in terms of the work situation'. They've been amazing colleagues and their fabulous ideas have helped make the tea room the successful place it is today. Emma disclaims and says it is all Fallon, but Fallon insists it's both of them. Tom agrees with Fallon: they're a great team. The staffing situation is impossible now, so how can they come up with a solution? Emma says in surprise that she though he had some ideas, and Fallon reminds him that's what he said; his idea, it turns out, was for the other two to come up with something together. Emma asks how they would do that, and Fallon incredulously suggests he thought them having a coffee together would solve it. Tom was hoping they might start to see each others' point of view. Fallon indignantly points out that she and Emma have been mates for years, close mates, while Emma informs him that they already know each other's point of view, and that doesn't change the facts, Fallon tells him, with Emma adding 'unfortunately not'. Tom wonders if there is no way to respect those different opinions while 'we' are in the workplace. Fallon says firmly that her opinion is there is nothing Emma would do differently in the same situation; Emma agrees there isn't, and Fallon tells Tom that there he has it.

Eddie is still haranguing Susan in a thoroughly unpleasant way and refusing to allow her to finish sentences: he accuses her of having talked Emma into snitching on George so she would get a lesser sentence. [He is remarkably stupid not to have worked out that if Emma had said nothing, there would be no question of her getting sentenced to anything. Chris.] Susan tries to get clear to him that her kids were left motherless when she went inside, and no-one wants that happening again, but Eddie remains abrasive and accusing. He wants to know what about their William: does he get a lesser sentence, and when Susan says she doesn't know he starts a new rant about Poppy. Ed, having heard the racket Eddie is making, comes out and asks what all the shouting is about, and Eddie, ignoring him, asks if Susan doesn't think Poppy has gone through enough already. Ed tells him to calm down, and he bellows that he is asking Susan why she grassed on 'our George'. Will now emerges saying that folk can hear the row mile off, and Ed suggests they all go inside, whereupon Eddie claims he ain't talking to no grass, and Susan can say the same to Neil. Will asserts that this really ain't helping, and Susan says it's not that simple; Eddie seizes on the word and accuses her of calling him simple. Ed tells him she didn't mean that, and Will tells him to come inside; Eddie retreats saying loudly that he didn't want to see Susan anyroad. After he has gone Ed tells Susan he is so sorry, and asks if she is OK; she tearfully says not really, and she shouldn't have come; when Ed tries to excuse Eddie, by saying he's just upset, her reply is that they are all upset but his Dad is upset for the wrong reasons.

Tom is sure that if they all try they can find a way through, but Fallon tells him the whole thing has caused her and Harrison so much pain she can't tell him. Emma agrees that it must have been awful. Fallon continues: it's put this horrible strain on their marriage; Emma mentions that she and Ed aren't great neither: George begged her not to tell him, and now she's not sure Ed will ever trust her again. However, she realises that everything she's feeling is down to the choices she made; Fallon quietly remarks that she didn't choose any of this, and Emma agrees that she didn't. Fallon definitely feels that Emma must have known George would never go to the police: she's complained, for literally years, about how he didn't take responsibility. Emma replies that he is her son and she couldn't give up hope on him. Just as the two women are reaching some agreement, Tom butts in again to say OK, can they focus on how they can arrange things with both of them working there, and what would that look like, do we think? Emma quietly tells him it wouldn't 'look like' anything: Fallon shouldn't have to pretend to customers she's happy working with Emma, and Emma would never expect her to do that. Tom pushes her: so, what's the way forward. Fallon, clearly fed up with him, says they are both exhausted with this, and Emma agrees: the best solution to this is, she quits. Tom, astounded, says 'what?' and tells her that is definitely not a solution. Emma ignores him and tells Fallon she is so, so sorry: Fallon knows that. Fallon does. Emma opens the door saying 'bye Tom'; Tom asks her to hang on, and can they just take a minute, but Emma just repeats that she is sorry. Fallon calls after her, and then says 'Thank you'; Emma says 'sure', and shuts the door behind her.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 18th September, 2024

Incipient pie wars, sunflower rivalry and too much volunteering.

Characters: Kitten, Jolene, Kenton, Fallon, Tracy, Ian
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Mel Ward
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The kitten is mewing, and Jolene does not want her helping with a hot pie straight out of the oven. Kenton comes in and after he has praised Jolene's cheese and apple pie in a rather absurd way, describing it as smelling very appley and very cheesy, they have a predictable argument about whether either of them has asked any expert for baking tips, during which it becomes clear that both of them have. Kenton then criticises Jolene's pie for being too pale, and expresses doubt that it would be a Flower and Produce winner, which annoys Jolene: she asserts that a cheese crust ought not to be burnt, and it is thus discovered that they are using different recipes and Kenton's involves cheese in an apple pie rather than on it. Jolene then criticises Kenton's pie for its taste and tough pastry, which she attributes to him overworking the dough. Their usual standard of marital harmony continues for a bit before Jolene departs to see Fallon and find out how she is coping on her own at the tea room, and Kenton is reduced to talking to the kitten in a soppy voice.

The answer about Fallon seems to be 'not very well'; she is rushed off her feet and the queue has reached out to the car-park at times during the day. When Jolene says it is ridiculous and she can't do everything without help, Fallon unconcernedly replies that she can't, so people will just have to wait. Natasha was there earlier but had to take over at the shop, Tom is harvesting veg, Pat's in the dairy and Helen is meeting a supplier; Chelsea is busy this week. Jolene asks for a spare apron; she will lend a hand. When Fallon says she doesn't have to do that she replies that she does, or else Fallon will lose customers. As she bustles in to fetch the apron, Fallon mutters that they're not her customers, then asks Mr Cartwright if it is his usual and, when he answers 'yes please', tells him she'll bring it out as soon as she can but she's afraid she might be a while.

Tracy and Kenton are serving in the pub. Tracy finds the kitten adorable, and comments on it nuzzling Cecil Jackson, then asks Kenton whether there might be any shifts for Emma at The Bull. He's sorry, but it wouldn't feel right. She apologises for asking, and he reaches for his phone, which has buzzed: it's Jolene to say she'll be back around four. Tracy greets Ian, who thanks her for Xander's 'good luck' pencil case, which the child loves. He asks for a pint of diet lemonade, and, when Kenton asks if Xander is enjoying it in Reception, replies he has no clue; Kenton suggests asking him, but Ian has tried that and got no sensible answers. He tells Tracy and Kenton he has joined the PTA; Tracy says he is brave, and it's clear that as far is she is concerned 'brave' is the new 'crazy'. He asks if they know anything about Jazzer's giant sunflower, which Chelsea spoke of when she trimmed Xander's hair yesterday, and Tracy, who hasn't seen it herself, reports that Jazzer reckons it's a dead cert to win in the Flower and Produce on Sunday, and Ian mentions Dr Malik's accidentally-perfect garlic. Kenton remarks thoughtfully that Jazzer might have some competition, and, when pressed by Tracy to explain, recounts his brother 'Dave' having come in and told him that Pip found an enormous sunflower behind their orchard and Rosie is going to enter it on Sunday. Tracy is strangely quiet for a moment, then excuses herself to go and ring Jazzer 'to ask him to pick up milk on his way home'. Kenton takes advantage of her absence to ask Ian for baking tips for an apple and cheese pie; Ian solemnly advises him that the obvious one is to bake it on the bottom rack. Kenton thanks him, and asks what size apple slices work best, and how not to overwork the dough.

Jolene found the work of the tea room exhausting, and Fallon thanks her for helping out. Without her Fallon would not have got through the queue nor cleared any of the tables. Jolene tells her firmly that she can't run the place on her own, and Fallon agrees and tells her there is to be a meeting tomorrow about all the staffing problems: Clarrie is away too. Jolene reckons that if those queues keep building up Fallon will lose business; Fallon agrees but says she's tired of it, and when Jolene asks tired of what she says the people, the place, all the drama. She doesn't give a monkey's: she's an employee, and if their business goes belly up why should she care? Jolene is sad to hear that, but Fallon is not going to waste her energy worrying. Jolene enquires if she is still working on her pitch for the charging station café, which Fallon absolutely is. She is trying out loads of menu ideas and she's written up her research on customer preference, and all that; Jolene approves. And Fallon has found local suppliers who'll sign up the moment she gets the green light; Jolene hopes she has asked them to be discreet; is she worried Bridge Farm will find out? Fallon couldn't care less. What are they going to do, sack her? That would definitely be the end of the tea room. Jolene is sorry it's turned out like this for her, but Fallon assures her she is honestly fine about it. Thus leads Jolene to wonder how Harrison is getting on, and Fallon assures her there has been no more mention of quitting the force, thank heavens. Jolene then claims anyone can see he's a fantastic copper; Fallon mentions 'that thing with George', which Jolene instantly discounts as 'a blip' and anyway he stopped himself from doing anything too bad, which proves he's solid: Fallon hopes so. If he wants to stay part time there's no point in her pitching for this café. Jolene is convinced it will all be fine, and advises her to hang in there.

While he goes quickly into the shop Ian has left Tracy keeping an eye on Xander, who is asleep in the car. Ian has managed to chat with Xander's teacher, who told him that Xander loves the sandpit and all the water play and said he's a popular member of the class and very keen to join in with the learning. This would have been more convincing if Ian had not overheard her saying exactly the same thing, word for word, to another parent about their child. Tracy tells him all his efforts at the school are 'very impressive', which Ian corrects to 'very stupid'. Tracy then lets on the the prize winning sunflower Jazzer has been raving about is the one Rosie has laid claim to, and Tracy is in no hurry to get home: she'll need ear-defenders tonight while he gets over it. Ian chuckles and says he loves how competitive the Flower and Produce makes the village; Kenton was angling for tips for his pie, and Ian gave him exactly the same ones he had given to Jolene. He now has to get home and think of fund-raising ideas for the PTA tomorrow; Tracy warns him not to volunteer for too much, and definitely not for the teddy tombola, but he says that Helen has already briefed him and will be there tomorrow to stop him from being too enthusiastic and will nudge him to offer to help with whichever events have the nicest people. He has promised Adam he will sit on his hands for the rest of the meeting however silent the room goes. Tracy, while sceptical, says that is good advice. As they part she tells him she still thinks he's bonkers wanting to join the PTA in the first place.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 19th September, 2024

Emma is determined to fear and hear the worst, while Pat is a voice of calm.

Characters: Susan, Pat, Tom, Emma, Ian, Tony
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Mel Ward
Editor: Jeremy Howe

When Pat gets back to the dairy Susan is very glad to see her, and remembers to tell her they need to order more ice-cream tubs. Pat is sorry she deserted her, but the veg boxes took longer than expected: Tony had been going to check them but when he finished milking he went straight back to bed. Also, Pat has had Clarrie on the phone; Rosie is much the same, but Clarrie has told Pat about Eddie. Susan suggests they shouldn't worry about that now when have work to do, and says it was something and nothing; she's done the ice-creams, the yoghurt's are in the fridge, but there's still the cheese. Tom rings Pat to put off the emergency meeting till two because they haven't finished the carrots. Pat objects that Helen wanted to go to the PTA meeting with Ian, but Tom says she's had to visit a customer and he doubts she'll be back. He also informs her that Natasha says she took a last-minute booking from the Felpersham Produce Society for a cheese demo and they are due any minute now. Pat cries out in horror and tells him that's really not on, but Susan says she has got it all ready. Natasha popped in earlier and told her about it and it's fine. Tom rings off as the party for the demo arrive, and Pat asks Susan if she feels up to leading the demo, because she herself is a bit rusty; Susan tells her not to worry, because she has done it so many times that she reckons she could do it in her sleep. It turns out however that this view is not accurate: she stumbles, stammers, makes mistakes and then dries up, so Pat ends up doing it after all.

Emma is in the shop waiting to be served when Ian comes in and makes small-talk about needing biscuits for the PTA; Sabrina has had to go and take a delivery so they have to wait for her together. Emma is very subdued, and says he should go ahead if he's in a rush, but he is distracted by a message from Helen saying she won't be at the PTA, and Emma volunteers the information that Will's not going because he's delivering veg boxes. Then she says she will come back later, though Ian tries to keep her there: he starts to tell her that he wanted to say... but she just tells him there's no need to say anything and rushes out of the shop, though he is saying that he wouldn't want her to think; she doesn't think anything, don't worry, bye! says Emma as she shuts the door behind her.

At the dairy, Susan is deeply apologetic to Pat about her failure: she's never dried up before, she says: words just come out of her mouth even in difficult situations. Pat is calm and sympathetic, and Susan reveals that she was really looking forward to coming in to the dairy this morning because she knew she wouldn't have to think about anything else and there would be some sort of peace. Pat agrees that work can be a kind of sanctuary, and Susan becomes increasingly distressed: the whole family's fighting and Eddie spoke to her like she was scum. Enter Tony to discover whether Pat is coming to this meeting; he says Helen should be there any minute and asks whether Susan is OK to cover the dairy for an hour or so. Pat tells him she isn't, and is going home, so Pat will message Helen to take over for her. She will see him at the house in a couple of minutes. He says plaintively that he doesn't understand, and she asks him to tell Tom she won't be long, and as he havers asks him just to do that, please, with steel in her voice. He goes to do as he's been told, and Pat tells Susan that she wants her to go home. After a bit of argument Susan too does as Pat has told her, but only after Pat has also told her she is not alone and asked rather sorrowfully whether they are not still friends. Pat will ring her later to see how she is.

Before the meeting begins Tom asks Tony questions about the dairy demo to which Tony naturally doesn't know the answers, then announces that he has made a staffing chart so they can see the gaps, to which Tony ruefully remarks, 'Everywhere'. Pat arrives and Tom gives her tea; Natasha is not coming because she is covering the shop, and Tony will need to take that over shortly when Natasha goes to pick up the girls. Pat tells them she had to send Susan home, and, when Tom asks what is wrong with her tells him, patiently, that Susan is extremely stressed, which leads Tom to say impatiently that they are all stressed. Pat informs him that if they push Susan any harder she'll end up going off sick, and then where will they be. Tony gloomily proclaims that they might as well shut up shop. He's shattered by the early morning milking, which Pat at once says is certainly not working; Tom adds that nor is the tea room without Emma, or the dairy without Clarrie, or the veg boxes with Adam and Will being kept apart; nothing is working. Which, as Pat impatiently reminds him, is why they are having this meeting. She goes on to tell him that Helen is finishing today's demo in the dairy and then putting future bookings on hold, and, when he asks if Pat can't do them herself, says she is far too rusty [which is a polite way of saying 'no, you useless specimen'. Chris] and they mustn't come over as unprofessional. Tom grumbles that is already happening in the tea room. He suggests that Natasha could help more in the shop, if she had Seren and Nova with her, which Tony vetoes; in any case, Pat comments, that would mean she had less time for Summer Orchard and their troubles would just be spread. Tom has a general whinge, to which Pat says she agrees, but they can't compromise on the milking. Tom claims Tony is coping with that; Pat sharply says that he's not, and Tony apologises to Tom, saying that it's too much for him every day, and if they start chopping and changing there the cows will be unsettled and their yield will drop. Pat says firmly that they need a contract milker. Tom objects that it will be pricey, and Tony asserts that between them they can cover everything else. Pat calls them to order and asks if they are agreed on a contract milker; the two men agree, Tom reluctantly, and Pat says she will ask Helen to phone round her contacts once she is done in the dairy.

Ian is buying yellow tomatoes in the Bridge Farm shop, with a view to making soup; Tony serves him, although he was cashing up. He asks how the PTA meeting went and apologises for Helen's absence, discovering that, without Helen's restraining influence, Ian has volunteered for eight things including the end of term disco, which Helen usually does. Tony wishes him good luck with telling Adam.

Pat has gone over to see Susan; she was going to ring, and found herself getting into the car. She wanted to know how Susan was, and says she was sorry about Eddie: that sounded awful. Susan says he was very upset, but Pat doesn't feel that means he should be allowed to shout at Susan, so Susan admits that it was awful, and she could have cried. She's known Eddie for donkey's years and they've had their ups and downs, but nothing like this. Pat says that Clarrie was very angry with Eddie, and Susan tells her she had to play it down with Neil because he'd have been straight round and made it a million times worse. Pat asks how George is, and Susan reports that he's not good and still won't speak to Emma, who comes in at that moment. Pat, realising (because Emma arrives with the words 'I've had such a rubbish day' before she sees Pat is there) that Emma is upset and needs to talk with Susan, says she was just leaving. Emma starts to cry and apologise, and they vie briefly about which of them should go: Pat wins, and leaves, with the parting words 'stay strong, Emma.' The door closes behind her and Emma collapses on Susan, sobbing out that she can't take it no more.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 20th September, 2024

Snits, huffs and misunderstandings, also lousy advice and sheer stupidity.

Characters: Ed, Emma, Eddie, Will, Jolene, Tracy
Credited scriptwriter:
Liz John
Director:
Mel Ward
Editor: Jeremy Howe

At a tree surgery job, Ed is trying to hurry Emma up, with one eye on the weather, while she is taking her time to work out exactly what cut she intends to make. He bemoans it being a small job, because they need to make all the money they can when they can and while Emma is still around, which she takes as a dig at her possibly going to prison. He tells her there's no point in not facing up to these things, and she asks him to give her a break: she's sorry about quitting the tea room, but there was no other option because Fallon has been hurt enough. Ed reckons this whole thing has been like massive self-harm, if you ask him, and exactly when they didn't need it. Emma says fatalistically that there is nothing they can do about that now, so they just have to get on with this. Ed wants to know how long they [meaning the CPS, I assume. Chris] are going to be, it might take forever. Emma says she hopes not, and would he move away so she can make a start before the rain?

An impatient Eddie has been waiting for Will to come and help him make some repairs to the barn, and, when they have established what they need to do and started work, Will asks how Rosie is and when Clarrie is expected back. 'Not soon' seems to be the answer, and Eddie is reminded to ask whether it was Will or Edward that told their mum about his run-in with Susan. They both did, according to Will, and Eddie says he had a load of grief off her for that; Will points out that he wouldn't listen to them and with poor Susan struggling on her own in the dairy as it is... Eddie should see Bridge Farm: Tom and Helen are running around like headless chickens trying to muster some cover. Eddie opines that he couldn't care less about Bridge Farm and he doesn't know why Will is still working there after they sacked George just because Brian Aldridge went round shouting the odds, and how they forced Emma out and all. Will patiently explains that's not what happened, and falling out with Susan and Neil helps no-one. Eddie says that at least he's sticking up for George, unlike the rest of them. Will is startled into expostulation, and Eddie accuses him of sitting on his backside while the law runs rings round George; Will further expostulates that George's solicitor is doing everything she can, but Eddie clearly doesn't believe him when he says it's just a process now: George pleads guilty and then they tell him his sentence. Eddie says that's cobblers: what exactly is this solicitor doing then? She should be banging on doors to get him a lesser charge or finding a way to undermine the case, anything! Is Will listening? Will doesn't know what Eddie wants him to say, and Eddie stomps off in a huff.

Having stopped using the chainsaw, Emma shouts 'clear the drop zone!' and Ed shouts back 'clear', followed immediately by the crack of a branch falling. Ed shouts that the rain is getting worse and they are going to need to pack up, and she shouts back this will be the last section then. A phone rings and Ed realises it is Emma's, in her bag, and goes to get it; while above him Emma makes the final cuts with a handsaw and then shouts 'clear the drop zone!' This time Ed shouts back that he is not clear, he's answering her phone – and the branch she drops only just misses him. She shrieks his name in alarm, and he angrily bellows to know what she is playing at, and that it missed him by inches; she could have killed him, for crying out loud!

In the pub, Jolene is using Tracy as a pie-taster, and Tracy lets on that she has also tasted Kenton's latest offering. As they talk about the Flower and Produce show, Jolene tells Tracy that Ruth was in earlier spitting tintacks because someone has stolen Rosie's sunflower, which alarms Tracy; apparently whoever it was dug it up and there is just an enormous great hole there now. Tracy comes out with the word 'unbelievable!' and then tells Jolene she's got to keep schtum on this, but Tracy is going to explode if she doesn't explain. It's Jazzer's sunflower that he was going on about all last week. When Ruth and Rosie found it he went into this massive sulk, and even though he knows Rosie is entering it, he is behaving like a five-year-old himself. [Rosie is six: born July 2018. Chris.] Digging it up! Jolene suggests that she doesn't know for definite it was Jazzer, but Tracy says of course it was, so Jolene wants to know what she is going to do. Tracy reckons he's got to give it back. Somehow.

Ed has now gone into a massive snit and is being nasty to Emma, who indignantly says she shouted and he said 'clear'. Ed snarls that he said 'not clear', because he was trying to answer her phone, and she exclaims that they can't go in the drop zone to answer the phone. He protests angrily that he thought it might be another job come up and they need all the work that they can get and Emma shrilly replies not if he's lying in the hospital or he's dead! Doesn't he think she's got enough on her conscience as it is? Ed shuts her up by saying the customer will hear her and it's lucky for them he wasn't watching, She says they've got to stop anyhow because of the rain, but they've got to sort this out: they can't work safely if they are constantly distracted or getting at each other. Ed suggests in a resentful voice that they should just pack up and talk in the truck.

Tracy is back and Jolene is interested to know what has happened. It's pouring out, and Tracy is soaking; Jolene gets her a towel. Tracy has found the missing sunflower, in a pot round the back of their shed. Jolene chuckles that Jazzer ain't giving up easy and is still determined to win; 'even if he breaks a little girl's heart,' Tracy points out. They discuss both how Jazzer got it from Brookfield to 6, The Green unseen (Jolene reckons he must have had a lookout) and how Tracy is to get it back. Tracy is sure that neither Brad nor Chelsea would have helped Jazzer do something so despicable, so Jolene reckons it must have been Bert giving him the all-clear from his wheelchair. Tracy is determined to get the sunflower back onto Brookfield territory, which for some reason causes Jolene to produce one of her salacious chuckles.

Eddie is still in his huff when Will goes to find him and tries to coax him out of it. Will tries to tell him that George is happy with the way things are going, well, not happy but settled-like and calmer. He knows it's up to the court now, and hopefully he'll get a good judge. Eddie explodes again: that's exactly what he's talking about! Brian Aldridge wouldn't be looking at it like that. Will wants to know why he keeps on about Brian, who has nothing to do with it, and Eddie claims that the likes of Brian or Justin Elliott would never say it's up to the court or the judge, they'd be out there trying to beat the system: they'd never leave it to chance! Will points out it isn't about chance; it's about justice. Eddie is convinced that justice isn't one thing: it's not dished out the same for everyone. Will says discouragingly that if they were millionaires, yeah, but Eddie's idea is that he's got to use his head and he's like a rabbit stuck in the headlights. Will loses patience and reminds him that Will and Emma might go to prison and it's hard to focus when you've got that hanging over you, which gives Eddie pause for a moment before he tells Will that he has to get a grip and this is our George they're talking about, who for all his hard man talk is too soft to get through a sentence unscathed. George needs all the help he can get and they must use their brains to help him, Eddie proclaims; Will is sure George's solicitor is doing all she can for him, and all Will wants to do is make sure he's OK in himself, prepare him. Eddie scathingly asserts that Will doesn't even want to try: that's fine, Eddie will do it himself.

Having got home and parked, Ed is about to go and check on the Texels, and Emma says she thought they were going to talk. It wasn't just her fault, she says, it was both of them not concentrating; Ed says he knows, and he's sorry, but Emma doesn't feel that is all that is needed: they can't make mistakes like that, they need to learn from it. When Ed doesn't reply she sharply says his name, and then realises he is in tears. He sobs out that he doesn't know what he's going to do if she goes to prison, and she tells him she doesn't either but he can't let the business fail whatever happens. Fighting back her own tears, she says that she needs something for when she comes out; she couldn't face being inside knowing everything's gone to pieces here. Ed and Keira (Ed chokes up again, repeating 'Keira') have to be strong, right? They'll have her Mum and Dad and his Mum and Dad, Oliver, there will be people helping all the time... Ed gulps out an assent: he knows. But the business, Emma continues, that's down to him, especially if Will's sent down too. Ed determinedly pulls himself together and says he'll try his best, he promises. Emma firmly tells him they worked too hard for this and can't throw it away, and he gulps again and agrees. Emma then tearfully tells him that the other thing is that he has to find a way of forgiving her, and this he finds more difficult, saying at first that he can't seem to and it's going to take time; when Emma reminds him they haven't got time, he makes a joke about winding back time and putting George in a headlock before he let him out on the night of the crash, and as Emma is trying to laugh about that her phone rings. It's Will asking if she has had a letter. Rejoicing, he tells her they aren't going to prosecute; he just opened a letter, he thinks she'll get one as well, and they're leaving them alone! Laughing and crying at the same time, Emma tells Ed they have been let off; he doesn't quite believe it and then thanks Will, who is just about to tell Poppy and rings off saying he'll see them later. Ed and Emma are both in tears again, and Emma exclaims they are going to be all right, Ed that he can't believe it. Emma says it's a miracle, is what it is, she'll have to ring Susan who has been so worried, and then she begs Ed again to forgive her, because they can't have this thing between them, they can't. He promises her that he'll try.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 22nd September, 2024

O the comedic potential of the Flower and Produce show! Shame it is only potential...

Characters: Kenton, Usha, Lynda, David, Eddie, Tracy, Jazzer
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

At the Flower and Produce Show Kenton is making a nuisance of himself insisting that Usha has to smell the pie he is entering for the show, and going on about its ingredients to the clearly uninterested judge-to-be. She is rescued by Lynda bringing a complaint from Hilary Noakes, who, having misread the rules for jam-jars (plain glass only is allowed), is now objecting to having been disqualified. Usha willingly goes to help sort out this little difficulty, and Kenton tries to buttonhole Lynda in her stead, first asking whether she is judging the fruit pies. Lynda too ignores him, and David then puts a cap onto his disgruntlement by arriving with Jill's plum and marzipan pie; Kenton had assumed she was not entering, this year, after not getting a prize last year, and goes off to phone her and try to talk her into withdrawing her entry.

Outside, Eddie wonders whether Tracy is all right, but she assures him that she is: she has just been doing some litter-picking, as has Jazzer. She sends Eddie on into the village hall, and Jazzer immediately comes over to tell her that 'this' isn't going to work. She tells him he should have returned the sunflower to Brookfield, and he protests that he tried to, and makes various excuses for his failure to manage it. He suggests that he could just enter it for himself, but Tracy is having none of that: if it wins, could he live with himself knowing he robbed little Rosie of her first prize? She outlines her plan: he is to stay out of sight while she creates a distraction, and while everyone is looking to see what happened, he must sneak in through the kitchen with the pilfered seven-foot sunflower and put it on the right table along with the entry form with Rosie's name on it. She cuts off the protest he starts to make, telling him she'll see him on the other side.

Eddie is bending David's ear about his family's misfortunes, in which David is as interested as one might expect. David changes the subject to an entry for Clarrie, a spectacular rose, and is successful insofar as Eddie changes the record slightly to having wanted to enter something 'for Dad's sake' and Poppy having entered the tallest sunflower contest [a non-existent category until Jazzer asked about it, so how did Poppy know? Chris], which gives David an opening for a lament about Rosie's Sunflower. Kenton interrupts to tell David to leave Mum's pie there: she has refused to withdraw it, as David had expected she would. Eddie feels he has to say that Jill's pie looks tasty, which doesn't please Kenton much. Kenton then notices that his pie is right at the back, David having moved it to make room for Jill's; he shifts Jolene's to where his had been, and puts his at the front of the next table. Usha comes over and asks them to leave, because it is almost time for judging to begin, and David leaves willingly, Kenton only after a last-minute adjustment of his pie's position. Usha also wants Eddie to leave, but he wants to consult her about George's Crown Court plea hearing on Friday. As far as Eddie can make out, his solicitor isn't doing much, which Eddie reckons is because George isn't paying and because he's pleading guilty, so she's decided he isn't worth the bother. Usha tells him decidedly that she doubts that very much. Eddie has apparently been looking on line and it says that for the crime with which George is charged, he could go down for life; Usha kindly tells him how unlikely this is and that it is only in the most serious cases that a sentence like that would apply. Eddie thinks it could still be a long time, and he's scared that, without a proper lawyer who'll fight for him, George is going to get locked up for years. He is interrupted by the fire alarm going off, and Lynda asking everyone to make their way out as quickly and calmly as possible.

Tracy is alarmed to hear from Lynda that Kenton has gone back inside to check the kitchen, and that Lynda is going to call the fire brigade. She tells Lynda not to call them and admits that she was the one who set off the fire alarm by accident when she tripped; on cue, Kenton comes out saying he has checked everywhere and there is no fire. David seem pleased to announce to him that it was a false alarm. Kenton however has found something else, and wants them to come inside and look.

There is a slightly chaotic scene for Lynda to exclaim over: as well as the floor near the fire alarm being covered in Tracy's scones, there is a table full of pies on the floor. Kenton's idea that it was pushed over in the rush is a non-starter: everyone left in an orderly way, and in any case Usha would have noticed. Tracy's suggestion that one of the legs was already broken is also no good: the tables are all new, replacements for the ones last year which were deemed to be rickety. Both Jill's and Jolene's pies are among the casualties. Lynda goes for a bin-bag and a dustpan and brush while David and Kenton pick up what they can. Tracy goes to see if she can find a mop and also to find Jazzer, who has been hiding in the toilet. She explains to him about accidentally setting off the alarm and establishes that Jazzer didn't knock the table over; all he did was put the sunflower, with Rosie's name on it, in the appropriate place, and, when he was doing that, the table and pies had already fallen.

Later Usha tells David that Rosie won the sunflower competition, which puzzles him because he didn't think hers had been entered; he goes to check, and Eddie at once comes up to Usha in order to take up their conversation where it was interrupted by the fire alarm. She fobs him off as much as possible whilst assuring him the George's solicitor, Sharon Prince, is well respected. She feels changing solicitor would be a poor idea, and refuses to take over representing George at such late notice [sic. Chris].

David is baffled as to how the sunflower just appeared out of nowhere, and Tracy tells him that it beats her too, while Jazzer chimes in to agree, adding that what matters is Rosie being happy. David can only assume that whoever dug it up got a guilty conscience. Tracy and Jazzer beat a strategic retreat, with David's valedictory remark being that he is sorry about her ruined scones, and it not being the day for baked goods. Kenton claims not to know what he means, and asks how he should best display the rosette his pie won: on his lapel, or on his breast pocket? David suggests perhaps next to his pie, but Kenton doesn't see why: Kenton baked it! David advises him not to crow too much, since he only won because most of the others ended up on the floor. Kenton feigns offence, but also claims that Jolene knows that it's great for the pub [though why, given that Kenton doesn't cook there, who can say. Chris] that they are now the home of the Ambridge Flower and Produce Show's Award Winning Apple And Cheese Pie. Lynda overhears and congratulates him, saying that indeed they are and that the judges tell her he was a worthy winner, even if his path to victory had been somewhat cleared. Kenton gloats to David, then murmurs 'Saigon Cinnamon', to which David replies 'yes yes all right' dismissively. David then goes to see what trouble Rosie is getting herself into, and Kenton tells Lynda that he does appreciate her saying that, adding that it's not his fault the table collapsed. Lynda agrees that it was just lucky that he moved his pie first – that's right, isn't it? He moved it to the adjacent table? At least, that's the information she received. Awkwardly, he agrees that's so. And he was the only person inside the building whilst the alarm was going off, she continues. Kenton says 'wait' but she ignores him; and now she sees how important winning first prize was to him and his commercial endeavour. He asks her what exactly she is implying, and she tells him she is not implying anything: she is simply identifying lines of enquiry. The phrase flabbergasts him, and he repeats it incredulously; she replies that the integrity of the Flower and Produce Show has been most grievously and shamefully attacked, and she intends to find the person responsible.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 23rd September, 2024

Kenton and Jolene won't shut up, Lynda hasn't given up, and Oliver comes up trumps.

Characters: Ed, Emma, Oliver, Kenton, Jolene, Harrison
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Ed would really rather not celebrate his 40th birthday on the twenty-eighth, and Emma accepts this, especially after how her fortieth turned out. He wants just to ignore it. He is getting on with things to do with the tree surgery business, ready for a job over Darrington way on Wednesday, and complains that Eddie is still going on about paying for a new solicitor. Emma wants to know how he thinks they are going to afford it, even if they did find someone better; Ed realises that Eddie is just desperate to do something, like all of them. Emma knows Usha told him that what George really needs is some good character references; Ed knows that George's solicitor has already told him that but George doesn't think anyone would give him one. It occurs to Emma that maybe they should ask for the references on his behalf; he might then see Emma's actually on his side. No sooner has she said this than Oliver breezes up full of the joys of autumn and the orchard in a good season for the apples, quoting 'dear old Joe' Grundy's 'wise sayings' about apples. When he says they need to start rallying people to pick apples for the cider club Emma is doubtful: given how people feel about them, they may not want to. Who does Oliver think might still volunteer? He cites Robert if he isn't too busy with the parish council, and of course Alan, then says that he is sure they are not the personae non gratae Emma thinks they are. Especially now the police have decided not to prosecute, Ed says hearteningly. Emma explains they are just worrying about George, then braces Oliver for a reference for him. For the judge, when he's deciding his sentence. Whilst she is still asking, Oliver realises the time and says he has to dash to get to an online meeting, suiting action to the word and leaving Emma to complain about 'so much for personae non grata' [sic. Chris] and that he couldn't get away fast enough. Ed guesses that being seen defending George is quite a big ask and maybe they should have picked a better time.

At The Bull Kenton is already writing his prize-winning pie up on the Specials Board even though the first one is not yet out of the oven; Jolene is massively unimpressed, and reminds him it doesn't mean his pie was better than hers, just that hers ended up smashed all over the village hall floor. If it hadn't, it would have been Jolene's apple and cheese pie that he was writing up on the board. Kenton guesses they will never know, and Jolene comes back with them also never knowing how the table mysteriously collapsed. Kenton hopes she is not casting aspersions; he had enough of that yesterday from Lynda. He had nothing to do with it! Jolene protests that she believes him and then, aside, 'although thousands wouldn't'; when Kenton asks what she said, tells him it was 'nothin', my darling'. She greets Harrison cheerfully; he is there for the cricket memorabilia to decorate the Brookfield Barn when they have the dinner there on Friday. Chris is lending a bat signed by Mike Gatting, from the year Ambridge competed in the Village Cup at Lords [2007. Chris] and Jolene remembers the photograph she took of Gatting with Sid, which she had framed. She goes to fetch it, and Harrison recalls that Kenton will be running the bar; he hopes Kenton will be well prepared. Kenton assures him that he will be; in fact, the brewery truck is pulling up outside as they speak. Harrison goes out to help Kenton with the delivery.

Ed has sought out Oliver, who is cleaning the kitchen and remarks on Azra having got a first prize with Adil's garlic. What Ed wants to do is to tell Oliver that they completely understand his not wanting to give George a character reference, and to compare himself unfavourably to George. Oliver never gave up on him all those years ago, and having one person not giving up on him made all the difference for Ed. Oliver says that Ed has never given him reason to regret it. Ed then does some special pleading: George has more going for him that Ed ever did, but a long stretch inside isn't going to help. Couldn't Oliver say a few good things about him? Oliver, who didn't take in what Emma was asking, eventually manages to stem the flow of Ed's pleas and tell him that of course he will write a reference for George. Ed just needs to be aware that he won't write anything he doesn't feel is truthful.

Harrison and Kenton are hefting barrels around in the cellar, with Harrison griping about Emma having dumped on Fallon in more ways than one and all the lies Emma must have told when she was having conversations with Fallon at the tea room. It makes Harrison furious, so much so that when he first found out he was close to doing something terrible. Kenton asks if he means with George, and Harrison realises that he heard. Kenton agrees there has been gossip, but no-one is blaming Harrison; in fact quite a few people would like to strangle George. Harrison says heavily that that doesn't make it right, though, does it, and Kenton tries to exculpate him: he saw red for a moment and is being too hard on himself. Harrison then admits it hasn't just been George. He also used what he says wasn't excessive force, but could easily have become so, when restraining a drunk and getting him into the van. The drunk was resisting, and the anger Harrison felt inside means he doesn't feel he can trust himself. He's not sure he can be a police officer any more. Before Kenton can make any more reassuring comments, Jolene comes to the top of the stairs and calls Kenton away to be interrogated by Lynda.

Oliver reads out [part of? Chris] his character reference for George: 'As someone who has known Mr Grundy his entire life, I am well aware of his shortcomings. Like many young men of his age he can be foolish and impulsive. However, when he applies himself he isn't only diligent and enterprising, he shows signs of the man he could become, and it is because of these qualities, along with many others, that I remain convinced he can make a great future for himself if he is granted the opportunity.' He asks how that sounds; Ed says it sounds great, and Emma that it is just what George needs. He says that he tried to be as generous as possible, though obviously there were some things he couldn't ignore, and Emma and Ed express their gratitude and tell him he has been very fair, more than fair. They thank him, and Emma says she is sure George will be very grateful too. He leaves the reference there to let them get on with their lunch. After he is gone, Ed exclaims about having thought he didn't want to give George a reference, and then he writes something like that! Emma, after a pause, says that it's a really good start but she's worried about having only one: the judge is going to wonder why. They need to get some more.

Kenton is in a stunned condition, saying that it's his belief that Lynda thinks she's Miss Marple, no, what's her name from Prime Suspect. Harrison suggests Jane Tennison, and Kenton says he wouldn't mind being interrogated by Helen Mirren, a view with which Harrison clearly agrees. Harrison wonders why she is now questioning Jolene, when she wanted to talk to Kenton, and Kenton admits that may possibly be his fault: he may have mentioned that Jolene wasn't outside the village hall during the alarm, when he was pointing out that if he'd wanted to sabotage the fruit pies it would have been pretty stupid of him to let everyone know he was going back inside [that proves Kenton did it, then. He is known to be pretty stupid. Chris], and maybe she should be looking at the people who weren't there, like Jolene. Harrison asks where Jolene was, and Kenton tells him she was opening up the pub, so she will have an alibi and he hasn't thrown her under the bus. Before he can utter any more excuses Jolene comes over, and she is not happy with him. He tries to escape by claiming he has to catch the kitten from behind the bar, but Jolene wants to have her word with him immediately, and orders him ominously to come back here. She demands that he is to tell her why she would want to destroy her own pie, which Harrison at once hails as a very good point; Kenton says that maybe she should have said that to Lynda. Jolene informs him that she did, but Lynda thinks it might be a cunning ruse to deflect suspicion and give The Bull first prize. Kenton is not to think Lynda hasn't seen the Specials Board. He says that's just bonkers; Jolene knows – like she'd ever deliberately let Kenton win! [Several million listeners at once agree that she never would, even by accident. Chris] She seemed to buy that, Jolene adds in a disgruntled tone, but she still has her eye on Kenton; Jolene doesn't blame her, either. Kenton objects, but, before he can voice his feelings properly, Jolene says determinedly that she is going up to the flat for a lie-down before she does something, or someone, some serious damage. Kenton can look after the bar. As she sweeps out Harrison thanks her for digging out the memorabilia, and in honeyed tones she tells him that he is very welcome. Kenton shouts to her to hold on, and Harrison hastily says he will leave them to it, but before Harrison goes Kenton wants to say something: he realises, self-deprecatingly, that he may not be the best person to be giving marital advice, but if Harrison is seriously thinking about quitting the police then he needs to have a proper talk with Fallon. Harrison uses the excuse that she's got so much else on at the moment, but Kenton asks if it is more important than Harrison not feeling able to carry on with his job, and Harrison mumbles that if he puts it like that... Seriously, says Kenton, that is not something Harrison can just brush under the carpet; it doesn't matter what else is going on, Fallon would want to know.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 24th September, 2024

Jim is surprisingly tolerant; Lynda, comme d'habitude, is intolerable.

Characters: Alistair, Jazzer, Lynda, Harrison, Jim, Fallon
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The complete reorganisation of Jim's house in his absence is nearly complete, and as they work on it Alistair tells Jazzer how very happy Rosie was about winning the prize for the tallest sunflower; it becomes clear that the two men have moved all the contents of Jim's sitting-room into his bedroom, in spite of his message via Robert saying the book case and the bust of Plato and display cabinet are not to be moved. Jazzer is concerned in case Jim is not happy about his instructions having been completely ignored, but Alistair has talked himself into believing that it was all Jim's idea in the first place to make the place more inviting for Denise. If they'd left all his old furniture in the living-room there'd be no point, and although the book case takes up a lot of space it means Jim has all his favourite tomes to hand. [In his bedroom; he is not expected to need them to hand in his own living-room. Chris.] and the artefacts he has dotted round the bungalow are now all together. Alistair thinks he'll love it; [and he didn't put all his belongings in his bedroom when he lived in the bungalow on his own, and could do as he pleased, why, exactly? Chris] and says it will be like sleeping in his very own private museum. Jazzer still sounds a little unconvinced about how pleasant that would be but agrees it might suit Jim. Alistair says that now they just need to pick him up from the station.

Lynda bangs on Harrison's car door and he feigns pleasure at seeing her. She explains that she heard the car pull up five minutes ago but he didn't get out; he says he's sorry, he was taking a minute or two to decompress after one of those days. She sympathises: she has had a busy day pursuing her enquiries and had hoped Fallon might shed some light. He is surprised she is still investigating what happened with the pies; she says she is indeed. She didn't expect Fallon to incriminate Kenton or Jolene but thought she might be able to glean something about the nature of their competitiveness; motive is such an important factor, as Harrison well knows, she says sententiously. In the face of his disinterest she tells him they are not her sole focus, because it turns out that Jazzer was mysteriously missing during the fire alarm too, as was Derek Fletcher. She is not going to let the fact that neither of them had fruit pies in the competition influence her need to rush around making a thorough nuisance of herself. Jean Harvey's pie survived, and she and Derek Fletcher had an affair thirty or forty years ago seems to Lynda to provide him with a motive. She does admit there is a paucity of hard evidence and she is grasping at straws.

For some absurd reason Alistair and Jazzer have got Jim to close his eyes, and guided him into the living-room. As they eagerly ask if he likes it he says tactfully that it's very different, then asks if they got his message from Robert; Alistair explains that when they had finished painting and brought his furniture back in, it didn't suit the new style. He seems not to be entirely pleased by his display case being in the hall and the bookcase in his bedroom, but Alistair coaxes him to sit down and tells him they haven't removed everything: doesn't he think the painting of the Parthenon looks great on that wall? Jim supposes so, but seems less than enthusiastic about all the cushions; Alistair asks him whether, now he's had a chance to absorb everything, he is pleased. He doesn't answer, instead asking whether they are. Alistair launches into a paean about being ecstatic that he and Denise finally have a place where they can feel comfortable and have a space of their own. [Of Jim's actually. Chris.] Jim summons enthusiasm enough to say that in that case, he's delighted too. Alistair presses him: is he sure about that? As Jim is saying it's what he wanted, isn't it, the doorbell rings and Alistair tells Jim it can't be Denise, to whom Alistair has given the spare key, before going to answer it; as he leaves the room he asks Jazzer to tell Jim what they found behind the bookcase: a dart from Alistair's birthday party. The doorbell rings again, impatiently. It's Lynda, who noticed Alistair returning home with Jazzer and now needs to speak to Jazzer 'in connection with the disturbing incident at the Flower and Produce Show' involving the fruit pies. Would it be possible to come in?

In her kitchen at Woodbine Cottage Fallon is prepping samples for her pitch tomorrow before she has a shower and washes her hair, and tells Harrison so when he comes in from his shower. She has a gripe to him about her work at the tea room having become stressful because Natasha expects so much of her and goodness knows how the place will function without her. Harrison asks about some paperwork he can see, and she doesn't want him to read it: it's her victim personal statement and she's been making a few notes but not getting very far. She wants it out of the way: wouldn't want food getting on it. To explain her absence tomorrow, she's told Natasha she has a doctor's appointment, and Natasha accepted that; she didn't like lying but it was better than saying she didn't want to work for Bridge Farm any more. She asks Harrison to move so she can reach something, and he takes his opportunity to say 'talking about not feeling like you want to work somewhere' – but then he is in the way again, and she wants him to move again, so the sentence is interrupted. He asks where she wants him to stand, and she says that it's lovely to have him home but she has a million and one things to do and she needs to make sure these recipes are spot on; he says 'of course' but doesn't go away. She says that he knows how important tomorrow is, and he agrees with that too: no worries, he can wait. She thanks him and tells him she loves him, which gets 'oh, yeah, yeah, love you too'.

Lynda announces that, as they know, she is investigating the 'ignominious' goings-on at the Flower and Produce. Jazzer questions the word 'ignominious' and she offers despicable, disreputable and beneath contempt as alternatives. Under Lynda's inquisition, which includes Mr Simmons having gone in as soon as they were allowed to in order to use the lavatory and seen Jazzer coming out without the sound of flushing nor handwashing, and in spite of Alistair making it clear that he doesn't have to say anything at all, Jazzer admits to having been in the hall during the fire alarm, and confesses that he was there to put Rosie's sunflower in place at the table. Lynda is completely taken aback when the sunflower is mentioned, and wants it explained; since Jazzer shows every sign of flannelling indefinitely, Alistair explains in short words and sentences so Lynda will understand, and Jazzer confirms that the pies were already on the floor. She then says snootily that may be so, but it doesn't excuse such duplicitous behaviour, and now, thanks to Jazzer, her entire line of enquiry thus far has been led down the garden path. She no longer knows which evidence pertains to the destruction of the pies and which to the smuggled sunflower, she says indignantly. Jim then suggests that she could look at it another way: it seems to him that having a witness inside the hall is very helpful in that it narrows down the window in which the perpetrator could have acted. He establishes that Jazzer got inside the hall through the kitchen and was in the back the whole time, then reasons that the perpetrator couldn't have escaped that way, and nor did they come out the front of the hall, which leads Jim to one conclusion: the perpetrator must have been inside the village hall the whole time, he finishes triumphantly. Lynda gasps and repeats the phrase wonderingly, then praises Jim's reasoning and thanks goodness he is back; perhaps he'd be willing to assist her in the next phase of her investigation?

Harrison has not left Fallon to get on with it, and now asks her to remind him what's in this again; she tells him it has seitan, sauerkraut, vegan cheese, and Russian dressing; it's basically a meat-and-dairy-free Reuben sandwich, and she suggests he tries it, adding that she wants his honest opinion. After a pause for (mercifully silent) mastication he says it's delicious and if the rest of the samples are like this she's going to blow them away. She is delighted but then wonders, what if she does win the contract? She'll be even more hard at it than she is now. She's going to need his support, which means they might need to think about his work too. He starts to say it's funny she should say that, but she carries on with her thought: she knows he's finding things tough right now, and he agrees that yeah, he is; and this isn't about forcing him into anything, please don't feel like that, to which he assures her he doesn't. But if she does get the café, she tells him, she might need him to go back to working full time. It wouldn't be for ever, she hastens to assure him; just while she's getting set up. He says 'right' and 'yeah, of course', and she nervously goes on to explain that it's just that she wouldn't be earning very much, if anything, and she doesn't see how they'd manage on his part-time salary; it would only be for a year or so, and imagine if it's a success! They're going to be rolling out these charging stations everywhere. If she manages to nail the contract here, she could have a chain. She comes down from her excited high: she knows she is getting ahead of herself, but the more she's been imagining it in her head... And she needs a fresh start, she says plaintively, she needs to get away from Bridge Farm. Harrison knows, and says so sympathetically. It was such a mistake becoming an employee, she muses. And who knows if it will happen, but if it does, would he be willing to go full time? Or it's a no, just tell her. What, and stand in the way of her dream? asks Harrison; it's fine, love, of course he'll go back full time.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 25th September, 2024

Eddie means well, Ed does too, and Tony puts his foot down.

Characters: George, Eddie, Ed, Pat, Tony
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

George is helping with the Texels by hanging mineral lick for them when Eddie comes up and starts to tell him about not yet having found him a new lawyer, but he will do even if it's too late for the plea hearing on Friday. George tells him, not for the first time, that the lawyer he's got is fine and he likes her, but Eddie is determined to put him straight: it's not about liking her, it's about spending as little time inside as possible. George points out that don't have the money for hiring lawyers, but Eddie has been thinking about that: he could trade in his van, he says with a degree of finality. George isn't all that impressed and says that Eddie needs a van that runs, then when Eddie goes on in the same vein says 'no, grandpa'. Eddie ignores him to speak of other stuff they can sell; George tells him that he doesn't want him having to sell anything. Eddie tells him not to be stubborn and then says there's the money they got for Bartleby: Joe doesn't need a fancy gravestone. George protests, and Eddie says Joe would much rather it went on getting George the best lawyer they can. George exclaims he is to stop going on; does he think he's helping? Eddie goes on using the voice of sweet reason, saying 'now, George', and George has had enough. Talking about spending great grandpa's money on him, it ain't happening! It ain't worth it! He ain't worth it! Ed hears the row as he arrives, and becomes furious when George tells Eddie he just sounds like a stupid old fool, angrily telling George that will do and asking what the hell's got into him. Eddie says the lad's only blowing off steam and he needs to go, suiting action to the word, and when Ed tries to take George to task for talking to his grandad that way George too walks off, saying, when asked, that he is taking the rest of the mineral lick to hang up.

At Bridge Farm Pat invites Eddie to come in, although she is busy cooking and can't stop what she is doing. She enquires about Clarrie's sister Rosie, and obviously hopes to hear that Clarrie may be back soon, but takes pretty well the news that Clarrie will have to stay there a while yet, just asking for a message to be passed on saying they all miss her in the dairy. They're missing Emma as well, and Natasha is having to work in the tea room when Fallon has time off. Eddie asks her about the solicitor who defended Helen, and she has to correct him about Anna Tregorran being a barrister not a solicitor, but she can suggest Dominic Farrell, who was Helen's solicitor. However, she doesn't understand what is wrong with George's solicitor. Eddie doesn't really know, but feels she doesn't do enough and that George is being thrown to the dogs. He feels that there are other people who do far worse things, and George is a good lad really. He just feels like it's always him and Clarrie that suffer; they had such a hard time with Will and Ed and he'd hoped with the grandkids it would be different but it's happening all over again. She is sympathetic but can't see that changing solicitors is going to help; she suggests he should have faith in the system. She knows it's hard, but trust her, it can get things right in the end.

Ed has caught up with George, who is going to feed the ferrets, and requires him to talk about earlier. He gives George a rocket about the way he flew off the handle at Eddie, and George tries again to explain that he doesn't want Eddie's help, or anyone's help, because he doesn't deserve it. He just wishes Eddie would stop it. Ed tries to get through to him by telling him about his own experience of hitting rock bottom, and how the hardest thing to handle was the shame: that's the killer, knowing that your family are suffering because of things you've done. It's why Ed ran off to London, thinking that living on the streets would be better than staying here not being able to look anyone in the eye. But in the end he had to accept help. George grunts. Ed tells him that he might not feel that he deserves it, but other people do. He read the character reference Oliver wrote: Oliver hasn't given up on him, has he. When he tells George that he and Emma are trying to get other people to write references George says 'good luck with that' and, when Ed protests, says he is just being realistic. Ed says he should stop thinking everyone is against him, but, when George demands to know who they've asked, can only come up with Martyn Gibson and George's old tutor; George tells him that like he says, it's a waste of time. Ed indignantly asks if he hasn't been listening, and tells him you don't get anywhere in this world without other people, then asks him who else he has impressed; who'd give him a reference?

The visit from Eddie has exasperated Tony, who think it was a cheek: the reason Helen got off was because she was innocent. [Yes, all she did was stab Rob repeatedly; she didn't actually kill him. Chris.] Even George admits he's guilty, and changing his lawyer isn't going to alter that, he continues, still crossly. Pat argues that's not what Eddie meant, and shouts to him to turn the hose off: she thinks the parlour's clean now. Pat then comes closer and tells him he can't blame Eddie for wanting to help his grandson; Tony says he just thinks it's a bit much asking the relatives of the person he tried to frame to defend him. Pat knows that was not what he was doing. She then changes the subject to Tony's back, and we learn that Tom talked him into lifting potatoes, which Tony defends by saying that Tom couldn't find enough casuals and you can't leave potatoes in the ground. Pat says that at least they've now got a contract milker and he's not having to do 5am starts; in turn he asks about her day and she says it would help to know when Clarrie's going to be back. She was fine covering for a few days, but Eddie now says it will be longer, and they need to start getting ready for Christmas. Tony concludes that it all leads back to George, though Pat points out it's not George's fault that Clarrie's sister is ill; Tony argues that if he were still there to do field work Adam would be able to do more in the dairy and Pat wouldn't be under so so much pressure, and Tom and Natasha wouldn't be scrambling to find a replacement for Emma in the tea room. Natasha didn't know if she was coming or going this afternoon. Pat agrees that things are difficult but at least Ian is helping with the school run now, which is something. Pat has discovered how much Ian is doing for the PTA and Tony laughingly says he needs to be careful: next thing, they'll be making him a member of staff. She has started to go and get dinner ready to serve when Ed comes in asking if he can have a word.

Eddie comes in to see to the ferrets and finds George already doing them; he turns to leave and find something else to get on with, but George wants to apologise to him for the way he spoke to him earlier. He didn't mean what he said; he just doesn't reckon a new lawyer will make any difference. He's going to jail and that's that. Eddie tells him not to talk like that: they can still fight to get him a shorter sentence. He can't give up. [I find Eddie's 'wheedling' voice, which is all he ever seems to use at the moment, well-nigh intolerable. Chris.] George asserts that he isn't giving up, he is thinking about what he really needs to get through this. If he's ever going to be able to look folk round Ambridge in the eye again then he needs to face up to what he's done. There's no point pretending it isn't as bad as it is; he's going down for a long stretch and he just needs to accept that. Eddie starts to expostulate but George over-rides him: and so does Eddie, he says firmly. Eddie asks if that's honestly how he feels, and George tells him that he isn't saying he's looking forward to it, but he certainly doesn't need Eddie making things harder for everyone by spending money he hasn't got. Eddie protests that the family has never had two pennies to rub together but George is what's important: they'll find a way. George is adamant that he doesn't need them to, that's what he's trying to tell Eddie. He knows they've got his back, and that's plenty. Knowing that's all he needs. Eddie's next utterance makes it clear he hasn't listened to a word George has said: he has just thought, says Eddie brightly, that they made all that money with films of Bartleby; why don't they do the same with the ferret Marvin? He'd have to work on a different accent: how about Cockney? In spite of George wearily saying 'Grandpa, enough', Eddie starts to demonstrate his Mockney ability, which makes George laugh and tell him to stop it. George doesn't reckon that's going to work, and Eddie has to agree, but still thinks it was worth a try.

The request for a reference for George, as made by Ed, has really riled Tony, though Ed makes it clear it would only be about what he was like as a worker and they wouldn't be expected to write about anything else. Tony insists they won't be writing anything, and when Pat tries to speak he is not listening: he doesn't care if George was the best employee they've ever had, that boy tried to pin almost killing three people, on Alice. Ed accepts that and starts to apologise, but Tony, in full rant, says that George saw he could take advantage, so he did. Pat intervenes to say she's not saying it wasn't wrong, and Tony expostulates that George hasn't even the courage to ask them himself. Ed tells him that's his fault, because he told George he'd ask, and he shouldn't have come; Tony crossly tells him that he's right, he shouldn't. Ed disconsolately says he'll get out of their hair, and as he turns away Pat says 'sorry, Ed', which annoys Tony all over again: Ed's the one who should be sorry. She tells him not to have a go at Ed, who is only trying to do the best thing for George, same as Eddie. As Tony splutters she reminds him that for goodness sake, they both know how horrendous prisons are; what good is a long sentence going to do George? Tony exclaims 'no. Pat, no'; Pat continues regardless. Even with a character reference from them he is still going to be punished. Tony tells her she can be as liberal-minded as she likes, but some things are beyond the pale, and when she tries to argue further he emphasises that's an end to it. They are not writing George a reference!

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 26th September, 2024

A mare's nest is found to contain a damp squid, and Pat reminds Tony she is her own woman.

Characters: Emma, Ed, Pat, Jim, Tony, Lynda
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Although George has said he wants only Will to be with him at his Crown Court appearance on Friday, Emma thinks she and Ed should be there too. Ed feels that if George only wants Will, they should respect that. He probably doesn't want the whole family there to see him plead guilty and they'd best not make it harder for him. Emma swiftly accepts Ed's decision, and he adds that if they want to show their support they're better off trying to get some more character references. Emma agrees but can't think of anyone they haven't tried, and still can't believe Ed went and asked Pat and Tony, like they were ever going to write a reference for George. They might just have to accept the only person who's going to give him a reference is Oliver; maybe, Ed agrees heavily. He'd better go and see to the hedge-cutter: one of the hood-flaps tore off when he was using it yesterday and he needs to replace it. When Emma asks him about his birthday and suggests going out for a drink – not at The Bull, obviously – he says that honestly, they've got enough to worry about at the moment and she is not to start worrying about him: he doesn't need anything. As if on cue, Pat comes up hoping to talk to them.

While serving in the shop, Jim gets into conversation with Tony, and they and Lynda discuss tomorrow's league dinner, with Lynda humble-bragging about the team's promotion having happened within months of her becoming Cricket Club chair; Tony just hopes his umpiring is up to Division Four standards. After Tony goes home, Lynda and Jim briefly discuss their search for evidence about what Jim describes as 'a locked room mystery with fruit pies instead of a dead body'. They agree to convene and compare notes at Greenacres when Jim's shift at the shop finishes.

The reference Pat has written for George is described by Emma as 'amazing': what she says about him being a good herdsman and how much he cares for the cows (which Pat at once confirms is true) means so much. Ed is still reading it, and Pat says she's only touched [which is a funny word for her to emphasise, in context, but that is what she did. Chris] on what George was like as an employee, because that's what Ed said was wanted. She really does think he has the makings of an excellent farmer, though: he's hard-working, usually, and he's knowledgable, too, and comfortable taking his own initiative. Ed murmurs 'this is just great', and Pat finishes by saying that most importantly, he clearly has a passion for it. Ed doesn't understand, though: when he came over, Tony was crystal clear there was no way he was writing George a reference. Has he changed his mind? No; the reference is just from Pat, she tells him, than explains that she can't excuse what George did, and what Alice has been put through is terrible (Emma agrees), but she also saw what it was like for Helen when she was on remand. [This is simply not true. Pat was not allowed to see Helen at all while Helen was on remand, because Pat was a witness for the prosecution. Chris.] Guilty or not, Pat is not sure what purpose prison really serves, and of course there needs to be punishment but there has to be redemption too. George is just a young man, and she couldn't not write him a reference. Ed asks tentatively if Tony is OK with that, and Pat says she doesn't imagine he'll be best pleased. Emma is a little shocked she hasn't told him [proving what a hypocritical little person Emma is. Gus], but Pat is sure it was the right thing to do. It's not the only reason she's there, either: there's something else she's been thinking about.

The new look for the living room at Greenacres surprises Lynda somewhat, though she is glad that Plato still holds pride of place; Jim informs her that he had to bring him back because Alistair had banished him to Jim's bedroom. Lynda expresses shock, but he says firmly that they are not there to talk about his living room. Lynda then expounds on her methods so far, focussing on means, motive and opportunity and making a spreadsheet with each of the suspects and those three criteria. Jim has approached the investigation from an alternative angle: he has sketched a plan of the village hall identifying all points of access. Lynda exclaims that this is marvellous, and Jim says that sadly, the only thing he's been able to establish is that other than the front entrance and the kitchen, other doors and windows were secure and unmolested. He suggests that they need to return to the scene of the crime, inspect the village hall. Come on!

Without actually hearing that question asked, we gather that what Pat wants is for Emma to come and work in the dairy while Clarrie is away. Emma asks anxiously whether Helen is OK with the idea, and yes, Pat discussed it with her earlier and she agrees they desperately need more help. Emma's only worry is that she'd have to fit it round tree surgery work. which Pat is sure they can work out, and once Emma hears that, she thanks Pat very much and says she'd love to. Pat asks if she can start tomorrow at nine. They part on that note, with Emma and Ed saying how grateful they are to Pat for everything and Pat saying that she hopes it helps. After she's gone Ed and Em are not sure what to make of it, and Ed reveals that when she first walked into the yard he wasn't sure what he was expecting, but it wasn't that. Emma starts to cry as she says she didn't think there was anyone left in the village who was on their side, and, when Ed tries to comfort her, says that just knowing there's someone who understands what it's like, who knows what they're going through... her voice fails, and Ed, in a robust tone, points out that it does mean she's going to have to work with her mum now, but maybe that's the point; Emma is intrigued, and he says jokingly that's punishment for anyone. They laugh together before Emma tells him she's really pleased to spend tomorrow with Mum so they can distract each other from wondering what's going on at George's hearing. Ed sees the point, which Emma amplifies: better that than sitting round at home on her own.

When Pat tells Tony what she has done he goes off the deep end again, asking why and complaining that she obviously didn't listen to him. She tells him that of course she listened, and she knows how he feels; he interrupts to say she went ahead and wrote George a reference anyway. She acknowledges this, but emphasises that she wrote it, and didn't put his name on it or Tom's or Helen's. She's allowed her own opinions, and she did what she thought was right. Tony explodes again, shouting the word 'right', and she firmly says yes. He wants to know what's right about speaking up for that... Doh! What he did was wicked! Pat disputes this: come on, Tony, George isn't a wicked person. Isn't he? Tony asks, and she says no, with emphasis. They know what a genuinely wicked person looks like, and George is a far cry from that. And she does understand: Alice is Tony's niece. And hers, he reminds her, which she accepts, saying that it has been dreadful for everyone. But if all they do is focus on being angry, or on getting revenge, what good is that going to do? It's not going to help anyone. Tony tells her he keeps thinking about Jennifer, and how grateful he is she's not had to go through this; isn't that awful. Pat does sympathise, but asks how anyone is going to start to heal unless they try to show a little forgiveness. The Grundys and the Carters are their friends, and even if he doesn't care about George, surely he cares about them? He tells her that of course he cares, and she responds that in that case the least they can do is offer them an olive branch. They know how horrendous it is to have a child in jail. Crossly Tony gives way: Fine! If that's what she really felt she had to do! Just don't expect him to defend her to the rest of the family. She doesn't understand, and he expands on his remark: Brian and Lilian won't be happy when they find out. She'll have to explain it to them.

Jim is getting events at the F&P straight in his head: he prompts Lynda with questions, and she answers them. So Lynda was the first to arrive? Yes, she tells him, along with Usha. They unlocked the hall and came straight in, at half past nine. They noticed nothing unusual or out of place. All the chairs were stacked neatly and the tables were folded away on their trolley; as Jim knows, they give precise instructions about what condition the hall is to be left in. Jim asks whether it is possible someone could have sabotaged the table prior to the show? Lynda doesn't think so: the bonsai club used the hall last, and besides, they couldn't have known which table the fruit pies would be displayed on. Which Jim says begs the question [no, it really doesn't, and Jim would know that. Chris] who did. Lynda continues: she and Usha set the tables up, with the help of Robert and Neil, and surely Jim isn't suggesting one of them did it? Jim asks which table it was, and she tells him it was one of the new ones; he lifts one for reference. Lynda is busy being indignant at the very suggestion that one of the organising committee could be responsible, while Jim inspects the table; he interrupts her mini-rant to ask whether she has seen 'this', on the bottom of the table, and if she is quite certain she didn't notice it before. She tells him that of course she didn't, and if she had she would have followed the instructions... Oh my goodness, she says, he doesn't think... Could that be what happened? Jim is very much afraid it could.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 27th September, 2024

In which loose ends are wound up and tied in a bowline, but nobody is hanged.

Characters: Kenton, Harrison, Lynda, Ed, George, Emma
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The Cricket Club dinner is being set up in the Brookfield barn, and Kenton greets Harrison, who is wearing a suit and an Ambridge Cricket Club tie and says he turned up early in case Fallon needed a hand but she sent him away. Kenton persuades him to have a pint of Shires before anyone else arrives. Harrison says that barn is looking great, and then confirms Jolene's account that Fallon was pleased with how her big pitch went. He carefully checks that nobody from Bridge Farm is in earshot, because they still don't know about it. Apparently the panel from the charging station loved the food; now they just have to hope she wins the contract. Kenton enquires whether he has spoken to Fallon about his job, and Harrison starts to equivocate but is interrupted by Lynda rushing over and saying 'thank goodness you're here!' and wanting to complain as if it were a serious matter or immediate emergency that when she arrived two hours earlier barely any of the memorabilia had been displayed and she had to force David to stop work on his farm to help decorate. Kenton says pacifically that it looks great now and people are going to love it, but Lynda clings to her grievance: it shouldn't have been such a rush! Kenton remarks comfortingly that at least the phantom pie-smasher hasn't knocked over any more tables, thus taking the wind out of her sails. He enquires in dulcet tones whether he is still the prime suspect, or if she has got her eye on someone else now; in a tragic voice she tells him she hasn't got her eye on anyone any more. He wants to know if she has fingered someone for it, but she says that now really isn't the time to discuss it, tells Harrison to check whether the team names are on the tables, and says she needs to go and practise her speech.

George is playing a computer game when Ed goes to find him, and is not willing to talk, especially when Ed speaks of the date for sentencing being October the tenth; he ignores Ed when he says that he is proud of George for pleading guilty. George finally succeeds in killing a recalcitrant character, and Ed asks what game it is and says it looks fun.

Taking a break from the bar while David serves, Kenton seeks out Lynda and asks if he may sit with her: he says he was keen to have a little chat because she seemed a bit shifty earlier when he asked about the Flower and Produce Show. She uses her snooty voice to say 'I don't think so' but he persists, and, when she reiterates that she said now is not the time, insists that now is precisely the time: thanks to her insinuations, the whole village thinks that his award-winning apple pie is a fraud. She chides him: her enquiries were carried out with the very best of intentions; he retorts that she is ruining their pie promotion. She says that, if it helps, she can confirm he is no longer under suspicion. Kenton asks who is, and she says it wouldn't be right to point fingers; he indignantly tells her she's been pointing fingers all week. She says she's so sorry but she believes she's being called to make her speech. He expostulates that if she knows it wasn't him she needs to tell everybody, but she is already gone, and Harrison, coming over, asks if he is all right; he says yes, he was just having it out with Miss Marple there. Harrison assumes she hasn't cracked the Pie Case, but Kenton says he doesn't know: he gets the feeling she's discovered something... Harrison chuckles and Kenton changes the subject: how is Harrison enjoying the evening? It's a shame Fallon is stuck behind the scenes doing the food. Harrison thinks she's doing a smashing job: that main course was terrific. [I hope she is being paid for this work. Chris.] Kenton presses him about the chat he was meant to have with her about his work, and Harrison has to admit that in the end he didn't have it, and in fact might have to go back full time. If the gets the café contract they're going to need the salary, at least for a while. Kenton is worried by this, but Harrison assures him he was just having a wobble, and then has to stop talking as Lynda takes to the microphone and asks for 'attention please'. She starts a speech 'on behalf of Ambridge Cricket Club' saying how honoured they are to host this year's Division Five Annual End of Season Dinner – after which she talks about herself being chair. [Stimpson 'cleverly' has her talking about making a confession, but it's an irrelevant one. Ho Ho Ho. Chris.]

Ed and George are now playing the computer game together and when they have cleared a level George offers Ed a drink. Ed first wants to tell him that he meant what he said earlier: Ed and Emma are proud of George. George asks if he wants some crisps as well, and Ed tries again to get him to listen and ignores several attempts by George to get him to stop. He has been thinking about the conversation he and George had the other day and he knows there have been times George maybe thought he didn't care as much about George as about his sister and figured that because Keira is Ed's, and George isn't, that somehow made a difference; well, it doesn't. Finding out George wasn't his son crushed him, it was one of the worst days of his life. He wants George to hear this: despite all that, it didn't change what Ed feels about him. As far as he's concerned George is just as much a part of him and George is never to think otherwise. Ed's there for him no matter what. And now he's finished. Go and get them a drink now. George is emboldened to say, as he has so many times already, that he's scared. All he can think about is how much time he's got left before they send him away, and everything he's going to miss: the farm, Little Grange, helping Grandpa with the ferrets; who knows how long it will be before he gets to sleep in his own bed again? Ed reminds him that however long it is, it won't be forever, and however long it is George has to concentrate on getting through it. George isn't sure he can, but Ed is, and says that when George does it will all still be waiting for him; he is to remember that none of it will be going anywhere and they are not going anywhere. George agrees to try. But in the meantime, Ed says firmly, they need to find a way of distracting him: he can't spend the next fortnight playing video games. George remembers it is Ed's birthday tomorrow and apologises for having forgotten to get him a present, and Ed says he can think of one thing he'd like for his birthday.

Harrison is trying to drag Lynda into a dance with him, without success, when Kenton comes up and tells her that he has just been talking to her sidekick Detective Constable Jim Lloyd of the Yard, who has explained to Kenton the real reason the table at the Flower and Produce collapsed. Lynda is embarrassed, and Kenton explains to her that it wasn't because someone sabotaged it, was it, it was because a certain someone hadn't locked the legs in place properly. She admits she failed to read the instruction sticker on the underside. [Hang on: so did Usha, Neil and Robert, who also erected tables for the show, so why is it exclusively Lynda's fault? Chris.] [And every folding table I've used in the last ten years will collapse instantly if you don't put it up correctly. HedgeSparrow.] And that, Kenton tells her triumphantly, is why the pies ended up all over the floor. Harrison says he has got to be joking, and Lynda that it does seem to be the most likely explanation, yes. Kenton asks what she is going to do about it: he thinks that after the ruckus she's caused, she should take public responsibility. She agrees that he is right, it was an honest mistake but it was hers, and decides to make an announcement at once. She'll just have to ask the DJ to turn the music down. Kenton stops her: he's not serious, he says. Jim told him how mortified Lynda was when she realised, and to be honest, he should be thanking her: his mother's pie would have definitely won. Harrison bursts into laughter and tells Kenton that he had Harrison going there and all. Lynda anxiously checks that he really is not upset, and he says of course not, then invites Miss Marple to dance and sweeps her away.

Emma is alone and palely loitering at Little Grange when Ed gets home; she and Keira had their tea ages ago and she wants to know where Ed has been. He tells her he has brought someone to see her, and on cue George says 'hiya Mum.' Reconciliation ensues after Emma dries her hands and Ed explains that he told George the best birthday present George could give him was to make up with Emma. Emma cries and says she is sorry and that he knows that, doesn't he, and George graciously allows that he knows she is sorry while she tells him it doesn't matter to her what he has done, he'll always be her beautiful boy. Ed checks that Keira is in her room and suggests George might like to go and say hello to her, because she has missed him; Emma tells him to go on, and he does, leaving Emma to cry on Ed and thank him; she was scared George would never forgive her, she sobs, and Ed reassures her that George knows that at the end of the day she had no choice but to tell the police. He pleaded guilty today so he's facing up to his actions, Ed tells her, and he did the right thing in the end. He's got his whole family round him now, and two great character references, they mustn't forget those. Emma pulls herself together, and, when Ed asks if she got Will's message about when the sentencing hearing is, is able to answer coherently that she did. Ed tells her gently that he knows it isn't going to be easy, but she is to try not to worry: at least now they can face it together.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 29th September, 2024

In which various persons react badly to various creatures.

Characters: Alice, Chris, Ben, Zainab Malik, David
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Alice plans to take Martha to a wildlife park as well as a story-telling 'thing' later on; in between, she plans to have lunch at the new café and play-place near the chocolate shop. Chris reckons she is pushing the boat out, and Alice says she is enjoying the novelty of being able to be on her own with Martha again, just the two of them, able to decide what they are going to do together and not to have to check with anyone. Chris says he gets that. And if she's honest, Alice adds, Martha is taking a bit of time to adjust back to normal life. Chris remembers that Alice said she'd been playing up in the week, and Alice says that of course she doesn't blame her. Chris's comment is that Martha's had a ton of upheaval, and Alice's that it's been such a lot for a three-year-old to deal with. Chris then mentions George's plea hearing on Friday, and Alice says she doesn't want to think about that and asks if Martha is still getting her coat on; Chris jokes that she is unless she has climbed out of the bedroom window, and calls to her.

Ben calls Bess to heel just as a noisy scooter approaches and then stops abruptly. The rider of the machine is not happy about being barked at by a dog; Ben uttering the classic line 'she won't hurt you' really doesn't help [it is a fatuous and offensive remark at the best of times, and clearly it isn't the best of times when your dog is barking at someone. Chris], and nor does his reassuring his dog rather than apologising to the person in front of whom Bess ran. He does admit that Bess should be on a lead on a road, but excuses himself by saying it's normally quiet along there and the scooter must have spooked Bess. The rider asks if he is saying that it's her fault, and Ben replies that her scooter is pretty noisy, which she instantly disputes. He adds that she is travelling too fast, and they have a badly manufactured squabble in which both are pettish and he is unreasonable. This ends when he tells her Bess is a working dog, and she replies crossly that she doesn't care if the dog has a contract and a pension, just keep her away. He walks off ordering Bess to stay 'close'. His opponent quietly comments that he is an idiot, then tries to restart her scooter without success. After the third attempt to kick it over she calls after 'dog-man' for help, but Ben is out of earshot.

At the events barn David is hunting for Chris's bat, and he and Chris talk about Chris getting it signed in 2007: David has been wondering why he took a bat with him to Lords when the team had been knocked out by Netherbourne and weren't playing, and Chris reveals that when he found out that Sid had chummed up with Mike Gatting he went and bought it just to get it signed. David admires his initiative and wishes he'd done something like that. David then asks what Chris is going to do with his 'Bowler of the Year' trophy, and, when Chris isn't sure, tells him he should give it pride of place next to the bat. Chris notes that David doesn't look hung over like some of the lads; Barry got very drunk. David is having one of those days when it feels really good to be a farmer. Also they are looking forward to Jill's ninety-fourth birthday this week; she doesn't want a fuss, just a nice tea at home with all the family calling in, and she is insisting on making her own cake. Chris is a little surprised by that, then has to read a text from Alice which reveals that her day with Martha is not going according to her careful, extensive plan. Ben comes in asking if David has been in the orchard today; he was on his way to check the bees when he saw some weird-looking insects on the raspberry canes, and is pretty sure they're Asian hornets. He wants David to come and have a look. Gran has been worried about them for a while, given that they say one hornet can devour [that really is the word he used. Chris] fifty honey bees a day. Chris murmurs sympathy but has to go, and David and Ben arrange to meet in the orchard when Ben has gone and got his phone so he can take a photo if the hornets are still there.

Zainab knocks repeatedly on the back door at Brookfield, then tries it, discovers it isn't locked and walks in, shouting 'anyone home?' Ben sees her and comes up saying 'excuse me' and asking what she thinks she's doing, then realises who it is. She says in self-exculpation that her scooter broke down and she was looking for someone to help her out, which leads Ben to ask 'what, in our kitchen?' He's not particularly pleased to see her, and when she asks if he could give her a hand, since farmers know about engines, explains that he can't because he thinks he's just spotted an Asian hornet, a member of an invasive species. [Bess has conveniently ceased to exist by this time. Chris.]

Rather then go away [and push her scooter the hundred yards or so to Beechwood Estate. Chris] Zainab has followed Ben to the orchard, where David is looking without success for the hornets. She introduces herself by forename (which leaves David none the wiser) and says she couldn't resist coming to see what all the fuss was about. David advises her to stay well back and Ben adds that Asian hornets can be really nasty; she jokes that they sound a bit like her, not the nasty bit (about which Ben mutters that's a matter of opinion) but 'Zainab, over here, causing consternation'. This disconcerts David, who starts to say that he didn't mean that, he only meant for her own safety, until she tells him it's just her sense of humour, which is a relief to him. Ben then spots one of the insects and takes a photo which he describes as 'a bit blurry' and Zainab puts her oar in to tell him he wasn't very steady; Ben however thinks they need to upload the photo to the Asian hornet app thingy Gran saw in her bee-keeping magazine. Zainab laughs and asks incredulously if that is really a thing; David patiently tells her that yes, it is, then asks Ben if he's sure it's not a native hornet. Ben points out the yellow legs that confirm the species. David reckons they need a better photo for positive identification before they start to panic, but is interrupted by a scream from Zainab, who has been stung on her face. Ben promptly goes into trainee-nurse-mode, telling her to be calm, asking if it was just the one and whether she can breathe OK and whether it's all right for him to feel her pulse (which he says is fast but strong), then wants to get her to the house. He tells her she is being really brave, and, when David asks if there is anything he can do, says 'not really' and asks him to stay there and try to get a decent photo to upload. Zainab is led away moaning, to be given an ice-pack, an anti-histamine and some pain-killers. Ben asks as they go whether she has any allergies; she hasn't, but wants to talk about her horrible morning and how she is unimpressed with the countryside. Ben asks whether she is local and offers to give her a lift home, sticking the scooter in the landrover; where does she live? She tells him Beechwood and that her family has just moved there. He wonders whether she knows Dr Malik; Zainab says that's her mum.

Martha has been returned to Chris; he leaves her watching something in the other room and comes back to Alice, who nervously asks whether the child is OK. He tells her she's better than she was, and asks what happened. It seems that Martha was a bit 'funny' from the start, and though Alice did her best to enthuse her about the animals they were going to see; she was fine with the sea-lions and the red pandas, but when they got to the giraffes it all went wrong. Alice was reminded of the first time they tried to put her on Champion. Once Martha had started her wobbly she wouldn't stop, though Alice tried everything; she just kept screaming for her Daddy and Alice didn't know what else to do, so she brought her to him. She's sorry and is sure he had plans for the day, but he shrugs it off and says that he feels bad for her. She in turn makes light of her disappointment, saying it's just one of those things and everyone can have an off-day. Especially three-year-olds, Chris suggests; especially three-year-olds who've been what she's been through, Alice adds, and they know it's going to take time. Martha was to stay with Alice overnight, but Alice now feels she might be better left with Chris for the day and night. Chris asks about her; she says she'll be fine, but Chris meant now she'll be on her own for the rest of the day. Her reply is that there's a meeting in Darrington that she will probably go to.

Having dropped Zainab off with her mum, who will know what do do if there are any complications, Ben returns to Brookfield and reports back to David. David in turn reports to Ben that he has managed to get a better photo and uploaded it to the app, recording the sighting and location there, but says fatalistically that if they see one there's bound to be a nest nearby; Ben is equally doom-laden and tells him that Gran says they are a danger to all the pollinators, which David says is a big threat to their livelihood. They must just hope the experts can track down the nest and destroy it: this could spell disaster, and not just for their bees.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 30th September, 2024

Pat is apparently both unforgivable and unforgiven; Azra is full of good advice.

Characters: Pat, Alice, Lilian, Azra, Ben, Tony
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Pat has gone to see Alice to try to explain to her why she wrote a character reference for George; she wants to talk to Alice about her reasoning, face to face. Alice is fairly receptive, if monosyllabic, and Pat starts by saying that she hasn't tried to make out that George is an angel, just stuck to facts about his professional life. When she says that like a lot of young men, he can act on the spur of the moment, Alice comments 'don't I know it' somewhat wryly; Pat strikes off into George's situation vis-à-vis the prosecution of Helen, and how concentrating only on the negative wouldn't give the whole picture. Whatever else he's done, she pleads, George is a hard worker and has shown a lot of initiative. As Alice tries to stop her, she offers to give her a copy of the reference so Alice can see for herself what it says. Alice finally manages to break in and say she'd really rather not, thank you. Pat claims to understand, but doesn't leave, instead saying that she does think George should face serious consequences but honestly can't believe that locking him up would do any good. She then starts to criticise the prison system, again with reference to Helen, and the thought of George mixing with real criminals – Alice chokes, and Pat realises what she said and swiftly amends it: she's sorry and of course he committed a criminal act, but Alice knows what she means. Alice asks her to think what it is like for Alice: at any time she could bump into him, in the shop, in the pub, just on the village green. Pat starts to reply, but is interrupted by the doorbell; Lilian has come round and is not at all pleased to see Pat.

Loud music is blaring out, and when the doorbell rings Azra shouts to Khalil to turn it down and get on with his homework, then goes and answers the door to Ben. He has come round to enquire after Zainab, and to let her know what's happened about the hornets. Azra tells him Zainab is so embarrassed by her swollen face that she has taken to her room and practically barred the door; it was a nasty sting and it's still quite painful, but her mother thinks she is suffering teenage mortification more than anything. Ben laughs, and Azra assures him Zainab will live. She says she will pass on to her daughter what is being done about the hornets, and invites Ben to come in for a minute.

Lilian has come bearing gifts for Alice, a goody bag from a hotel she's visited, and when Pat tries to join in the conversation she simply ignores Pat and goes on talking to Alice, about The Stables and a visit from Genevieve Stradbolt to talk about working equitation. Alice is really enthusiastic about Genevieve, who gave her a lot of information she plans to look at this evening. She offers to show it to Lilian, and goes to fetch it from her bag. As soon as she has gone Lilian turns on Pat and accuses her of choosing to take George Grundy's side against Alice; she doesn't know how Pat has the brass neck to be there. Pat denies that is what she has done: she's just written an accurate and limited description of George as a worker, and has just been explaining her reasoning to Alice. Lilian describes it as 'trying to salve her conscience'; Pat ignores this in order to say that Alice has actually been very understanding about it. Lilian calls her a hypocrite; Pat can't credit what she has just heard, and says 'I beg your pardon?' Lilian comments on the way Pat treated Alan over Rob Titchener's baptism, and Pat really sees no parallel and starts to defend her behaviour to Alan; Lilian is not prepared to listen and tells her that here she is writing references for the boy who nearly destroyed Alice's life, and not only Alice: the scandal could have bankrupted The Stables. Jenny must be turning in her grave.

At Beechwood, Ben is telling Azra that there is probably a nest somewhere on the farm and they have a team investigating; after they notified the app, the hornet was positively identified by an entomologist, and the National Bee Unit has been mobilised. Azra thinks it sounds like a Bond movie but seems surprised they are taking it really seriously, so Ben explains it is a biodiversity threat: if the Asian hornets get established here there could be a massacre of pollinators and that will endanger the crops. [This in spite of the fact that wheat, rye, barley, oats and corn, and even oilseed rape in large part, are anemophilous and don't require insect pollination. Chris.] They've been told to expect a ground team to arrive some time tomorrow to deal with the nest, Ben continues, while Azra makes impressed and concurring noises and then says they don't hang around, do they. 'When you say deal?' she asks, and he translate that to 'destroy it, yeah'. Kill the hornets to prevent the queens hibernating and emerging again next year. Azra is sure Zainab will be pleased to hear that: it's personal now! She then thanks Ben for his prompt action to treat the sting, which she describes as really resourceful; preening, he says he is training to be a nurse, and she continues the stroking process by saying she thought his handover was very professional and asking where he is studying. He tells her he has just started his third year at Felpersham and is enjoying it a lot, though they haven't covered much about primary care; he wonders what general practice is like, if she doesn't mind him asking. She tells him that one of the main differences is the breadth of relationship you build up with patients; in hospital even intense professional relationships may be short-term; she has just moved practice, but some of her previous patients she's known for years and years. She tells a tale of having succeeded in getting a CT scan for a patient who got the all-clear and his life back. [Gripping stuff. Gus.]

According to Tony, Hilda's got no sense whatsoever: he was taking the carrots into the store and she just shot in front of the tractor with no need for it. Pat is sympathetic but slightly distracted, though she asks if the carrots are all done. They are, and Tony asks if she is all right; she tells him she's not really, and explains she has just come from Alice's, and it was a bit bruising, if she's honest. Tony asks, in mild exasperation, how she expected Alice to react, and Pat tells him Alice was very controlled (which surprises him slightly) but then Lilian arrived and she was absolutely horrible about it and really went for her. Tony groans sympathetically. Fortunately while Alice was out of the room, Pat says. Tony can understand Lilian being on the defensive for Alice, but Pat laughs hollowly and tells him it was more than defensiveness: the way she talked about George was so vindictive, almost loathing. Tony groans again, and Pat complains that Lilian seems to have no understanding of the complexities of it all. It's not as if George wasn't affected by what he's done: he was obviously eaten up with guilt, and anyone could see that in hindsight. Tony doubtfully says 'maybe', and Pat tells him he must remember the way George was losing sleep and performing poorly; Tony laughs and says that he remembers all right – but was that just worrying about being found out? Pat ducks the question and tells him what hurt most, though: Lilian tried to compare this to her attitude to Rob [not on air: she compared it to Pat's treatment of Alan, which is not the same thing. Chris], and Tony instantly agrees that is unfair and says that for all his faults, George is a very different kettle of fish from That Man. Essentially, claims Pat, George made one stupid mistake; Tony isn't going to let that pass without remark and says it was a mistake with pretty huge consequences. Pat stammers that she knows, and is not denying that, then adds that George was in court on Friday, which Tony knew. She adds that he'll be sentenced next week, and she knows the judge will decide what they'll decide, she just wanted the court to have as full a picture as possible. Tony calls this an admirable ambition; he does love her for her ability to look at all perspectives, but she can't expect the family to see it that way.

As Ben seems to be preparing to leave, Azra says she will tell Zainab all about the hornets, and advises him not to be too put off by the war-stories she has been telling him from general practice: it's a great job for all its challenges and she's sure he's got it in him to be a really good nurse [why? She has met him once. She knows only that he can talk the talk at a handover. Chris], for which he thanks her. She adds that of course it doesn't have to be in a hospital setting: has he ever thought about community nursing? He has, a bit, and she tells him could apply for work experience at the surgery [presumably Darrington. Chris] where she thinks they are about to advertise for a part-time healthcare assistant. Ben sounds interested, saying he might just do that.

Tony has taken Lilian some carrots; she suspects him of having come over with an ulterior motive, which he laughingly denies: he doesn't know what she means. Undeceived, she tells him she means that if he has really called round to defend Pat then he is wasting his time. He tells her that Pat is really quite upset, which butters no parsnips with his elder sister: she asserts Pat has only herself to blame for that. Tony starts to tell her that Pat is not trying to pretend that George is anything that he isn't; she just wants – Lilian cuts him short. She's sorry, she heard all this at Alice's and it cuts no ice whatsoever with her. Tony carries on regardless: it doesn't mean Pat thinks he shouldn't be punished. Lilian tells him to stop it, please. What Pat has done is wrong-headed; it's upset her, and if Mum gets to hear of it doubtless she will see red, and it would have most definitely upset their sister. What was Pat thinking? she asks; families have to stick together and they need to rally round Alice. He attempts to expostulate but she is not about to hear him: no, Tony. No buts. She knows he's only trying to defend his wife, but she doesn't want to fall out with him as well. Heavily, Tony agrees that they mustn't. Lilian tells him she's said her piece; she suggests they should move on, and hope Mum doesn't get wind of it.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 1st October, 2024

Nobody expects tea, toast and the Spanish Inquisition... or an egging.

Characters: Tracy, Brad, Emma, Susan, Pat, George
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

On his return from his university, Brad is given tea and toast by Tracy, though he protests that he could have got it himself. She is full of questions about what it's like being at the university, and when he tells her it was only one seminar and one lecture today she thinks 'seminar' sounds dead posh and asks him what it is. He explains it as a discussion in a smallish group. She says 'oooh' and then asks if he is settling in all right; he says he is still getting used to the campus, which is big, but there is usually someone else that's lost too so you can explore together. She expects he'll soon get used to it and wants to know what about the work, which he explains as different from A-level maths in that you are not rote-learning but building proofs from first principles: it's actually about something. Tracy feels that as long as he's coping... and he says so far, but they're only a couple of weeks into the semester, which word draws another 'oooh' from her and has to be explained by him as 'just another name for term really'; she tells him not to spoil it for her and they laugh together. Brad affectionately tells her she is bonkers, does she know that? and she tells him it has been said. Then she wants to know if he is making friends, and he says it's a bit harder, not being in halls, but when she asks if that's a problem he assures her it's OK, and he's not the only one who's commuting; he thinks he's found his tribe, he tells her cheerfully. Yes, Mum, fellow nerds. Yes, it's not quite as easy to get into the social stuff, but that's not really his sort of thing anyway. She feels he should try to get involved a bit, even so. He remarks that staying at home was definitely the right decision and it would be too much otherwise; Tracy says that's good then. It's different to Mia, says Tracy; she's so far away. Brad says 'yeah' rather wistfully, but Tracy doesn't seem to notice: she wonders how Mia is getting on, and Brad says pretty well. That they have been in touch surprises Tracy; a couple of times, as friends, Brad tells her, and yeah, she's loving it. Tracy is pleased, and Brad muses that it's really not long till Mia will be back for reading week and they can catch up properly then. The doorbell rings and Tracy goes to the door.

At the dairy Emma asks where Helen is today and Susan says 'somewhere in Yorkshire', which she then clarifies as 'Hebden Bridge', three hours' drive away; she is on a cheese-promoting expedition, and Emma wonders how someone from Hebden Bridge even heard about Helen's cheese. Susan's explanation is 'one of those food fairs Helen goes to'. Emma starts thinking what the equivalent would be for the tree surgery: country fairs, perhaps. Susan asks if they have much work coming up, and Emma says a bit, but mostly things Ed can do on his own; with, well, George they haven't really had the brain space to go chasing work. That's why she was so grateful to Pat for suggesting work at the dairy. Hiding at home was doing her no good. Emma says they are proving Ed wrong: the two of them working together is not a recipe for disaster. Then Pat comes in to tell them they have a small problem with the batch of yoghurts they made on Friday: the ones labelled strawberry are actually raspberry, the rhubarb is strawberry and the plain is actually rhubarb. [Which makes the raspberry, plain, Gus.] Emma at once apologises, assuming it is her fault, though Pat says it is only four trays and they have taken them off sale; she'll pass them out to the family at large. Emma says she should take the cost out of her wages, which Pat won't hear of; both she and Susan reassure Emma that we all make mistakes when we are leaning and she shouldn't worry too much. Emma worries that she was trying to be so careful, and Pat asks if she's like some of the yoghurts: they'd both be very welcome so long as they'd be happy to take pot luck on the flavours. Emma feels that would make it even worse: she messed up and then she gets free food out of it!

Finding George of the doorstep, Tracy tears him off a really hefty strip, and is about to send him on his way when Brad takes pity on him because of the state he's in, intervenes and invites him in, reminding Tracy that this is his home too. She is obdurate: she's sorry but she can't have him in the house. Brad decides they will go for a walk.

Pat has set the mislabelled yoghurts down in the dairy and tells Susan and Emma to take as many as they want and put them in the fridge till after work. Emma is crushed by this generosity, but Susan has been thinking. She doesn't think it was Emma. Emma did most of the labelling on Friday, but Susan did the ones for the shop. Emma doesn't remember, but Susan is sure of it, and there have been no complaints about the ones for delivery. This is a great relief to Emma; Pat laughs and asks her if she thinks she could bring herself to take a few yoghurts, and Emma thinks she might. As they are all laughing at this, there is a splat noise, and they realise someone has thrown an egg at the window.

As they walk, Brad asks George about the pre-trial preparation hearing last week, which George is surprised by because he doesn't know how Brad knew about that; Brad says simply that he looked it up. George tells him about it: there was no jury because he was pleading guilty but it was still pretty hard-core. Brad asks if he was scared, and he says more ashamed, really. He goes back for sentencing on the tenth, and that's going to be the really scary one. They're going to send him down. Brad tells him he doesn't know that, but George is certain he does. He thanks Brad for standing up for him with Tracy; he really appreciates it. Brad makes sure George knows that doesn't mean he is totally in George's corner, and George does get that; Brad says that of all the stupid things George has ever done, this is the worst ever, by a million miles (which George knows), and that he hates what it's done to everyone. George feels the same: he's totally gutted about it. Brad can see that. He'll tell George what's different this time: George actually seems sorry about what he did, not just because he's been caught. George agrees that he so is. He'd give anything to go back to that car and make a different decision. His life's down the toilet: he's hurt so many people, people he really cares about. Brad asks about Bridge Farm sacking him, and he asks back: what else were they going to do? Tony is Alice's uncle; George feels lucky Tony didn't batter him. But it's not just family: it's everybody. A few weeks ago he was the village hero, which he totally hated by the way because he knew he didn't deserve it, and now he's Public Enemy No 1. Everywhere he goes people are pointing and staring, or even worse they come right up in his face and tell him what they think of him. Brad tuts. George adds that he's kind of looking forward to being put away; Brad tells him not to say that, but George means it: straight up, at least in Young Offenders there won't be anyone he's hurt. Seriously, nothing can be worse then this. Brad wishes he could help, and George promptly asks him for a favour: to keep his business going while he's inside. Brad asks what, the videos? and then says that he doesn't think that's his sort of thing at all, but George begs him: he's got to have something positive to come back to. He's begging Brad. Before committing himself, Brad asks what sort of things he would have to do.

Emma and Pat couldn't see anyone when they went out looking for the Phantom Batter Pudding Hurler Egg Flinger, and Susan says there's no-one hanging around; Pat wonders what in Heaven's name is going on, and Emma again assumes it's about her. When Pat asks her what she means she says the egg was thrown at her, because of her anyway; it's obvious. Plenty of people in the village have got a down on them because of George. Pat feels that no-one would do that sort of thing, but Emma points out it's never happened before; Susan has to corroborate this. Pat says firmly that she mustn't think like that, but Emma reasons that they are either angry with her, or angry with Pat for giving her a job. Pat expects it was just someone messing around, but Emma is now in a state: Pat tries to be kind to her and look what happens! Susan and Pat both exclaim against this, and Pat suggests that Emma should knock off and go home: she and Susan can finish the potting and do the washing down. Emma tries to argue, but Pat gently instructs her to go home, and they'll start fresh in the morning. She consents to leave, and after she's gone Pat asks Susan if she thinks Emma is right, though she'll check the CCTV this evening. Susan tells her she she needn't bother; Susan did see who did it. She didn't want to say anything because she knew it would upset Emma, but when Pat asks who it was she replies simply, 'Poppy'.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 2nd October, 2024

David is not as green as he's cabbage-looking, and Alice finds another audience.

Characters: David, Ben, Azra, Khalil, Alice
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Sheep are being weighed by David, with Ben's out-of-practice assistance; Pip would be doing it but she has had to take Rosie's kitten to be microchipped. Ben won't be able to get home early for Jill's birthday on Thursday, which he regrets: he instructs David not to eat all the cake before he gets there, and David laughs and says Ruth is still miffed about Jill making her own cake. Ben is glad of it: Mum's baking is all right with the more agricultural stuff; David asks 'what do you mean?' [and is echoed by several million listeners. Chris] and Ben expands on the theme: like a tray of flapjack or something [and several million listeners are left none the wiser. Chris], but when it comes to a Victoria sponge... David tells him not to let Ruth hear him say that, and Ben claims he's not daft. David then tells him he has booked Ed and Emma to get down the hornets' nest so it can be taken away; he thought he might as well give them the work. When he rang the felt that Emma didn't really sound herself, and Ben thinks that with all the talk about George that's not surprising.

On the phone to her husband Akram, explaining to him about Zainab's sting, Azra is being talked at by Khalil wanting to know how you spell anaphylactic, which Azra defines as him 'trying to be funny'; he continues to be loud, and she tries to shut him up. He says they should sue the Archers: rich farmers, big payday; she tells him again to be quiet, then offers to fetch Zainab so she can tell Akram for herself that she is OK now.

The sheep-weighing continues, with desultory chat; David tells Ben about Jim returning things from his bedroom to his living-room, according to Alistair. They agree that Pip is finding a cat rather like keeping livestock, with Ben feeling that she owes him one for him having done her job. David thinks calling the kitten 'Coffee' was clever: it's the perfect name for a black cat. Ben thinks that was Stella's suggestion, and she is definitely the brains in that outfit; David tells him they are thinking of running a competition to find a name for the kitten at The Bull, just for the honour rather than for a prize. He and Ben debate what name they might choose: something appropriate for a pub cat; Shandy is David's suggestion, and Ben's is Chaser, followed by Half Pint, and then Hangover. Ben asks what the rams were like, and David confirms that they were a pretty good weight. He then suggests a drink at The Bull as a thank-you to Ben, in say half an hour because he has a few errands to run first. When he mentions taking a brush-cutter back to Tony, Ben asks if he could drop in to Beechwood on his way past and give the Maliks an update on the hornets, and also see how Zainab's doing; Ben wants a quick shower before the pub.

When David goes to the Maliks', the door is answered by Khalil, and David asks if his mum is in; Khalil says she has gone to the shop, and David asks if he knows about the hornets, introducing himself as Mr Archer from Brookfield Farm and saying that the nest has been destroyed. Khalil agrees to pass that on, and David asks after Zainab; the account he is given is that she is not good at all, with a face the size of a football, and won't come out of her room. They have to leave her food outside and tiptoe off. David has clearly started to smell a rat, and when Khalil adds that it could be long-lasting psychological damage David's 'oh dear' is decidedly dubious. Khalil offers his advice, man to man: David might be in a lot of trouble over this (David humours him by saying 'I see') and it could cost him big money. David says 'right' and asks his name. He then thanks him for the heads up, and asks him again to pass that message on about the nest. He then thanks Khalil very much and leaves.

Alice waylays Azra as she is leaving the shop and invites herself round to see her GP 'later this evening', because she would like to bring her a little 'welcome to the village' gift, to apologise for all the times she has messed Azra around at work. She promises she's not using it as a way of jumping the queue for an appointment, and they laugh about the line of unofficial patients at the fête; Azra says she will be welcome any time after eight. As Alice leaves, David arrives, and takes the opportunity to introduce himself as David Archer and tell Azra in person about the hornets' destruction, first asking how Azra's daughter is. On hearing that she's doing all right, he hopes it hasn't caused her too much embarrassment at college or work or whatever, and Azra tells him that Zainab is taking a year off after her A-levels – which was not Azra's idea. David tells her about the impressive operation against the hornets, with positive identification and then nest-location using drones, followed by destroying the nest with insecticide. Azra thinks it amazing, especially when David tells her that it was high in a tree so they injected the poison using a telescopic lance. Azra is glad to hear this from David; Khalil, she says ruefully, is not all that reliable when it comes to passing on messages. David is emboldened to ask whether Khalil is a bit of a wind-up merchant; Azra wonders why he asks, and David tells her about having been given a rather different picture of how Zainab was from the one Azra just gave him. Azra sighs the sigh of long-suffering and wants to know the worst; when she is told what was said, she is mortified, but David laughs and tells her it's fine and he thought it was rather funny. Azra is not amused, and will make that very clear to Khalil. David feels there is no need on his account, but Khalil is her son and David is sure she knows best.

Alice has come round as promised, with some flowers, and Azra apologises for the untidy house, explaining it by there being two children and her husband being in Pakistan; only temporarily, sorting out family matters, she quickly explains as Alice starts to commiserate. Speaking as Alice's neighbour and not her GP, she asks how Alice is doing, and Alice says she is in a good place and tells Azra all about Alice for a bit, and then about her trouble with Martha being difficult. Azra has heard about George having eventually confessed, but didn't want to join in any gossip; she now talks about Alice as well, and her having gone through some monumental highs and lows. Alice says she has made a decision about George: she's going to go and see him because there's something he needs to hear. She's been thinking a lot about what's best for her [so no change there. Chris] and this is something she really needs to do. She is interrupted by Khalil coming in: Azra is annoyed with him for lying to Mr Archer, and requires him to go round after school tomorrow and apologise, on pain of having his games console taken away for a month if he doesn't.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 3rd October, 2024

Khalil and Will both have things to apologise for, and go to do it.

Characters: Emma, David, Jill, Azra, Khalil, Zainab, Susan, Will
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

At Brookfield, Ed is getting the gear ready and David prepares to show Emma where the hornets' nest is, but she already knows: they saw it as they got out of the van. Jill agrees with Emma that it is like something from outer space. David has the box left by the exterminators for it to be put into when Ed and Emma have got it into bin bags; he will send it off for analysis. Emma feels it's like being in a film, and David wants to emphasise that she and Ed are not in any danger: the hornets are dead now. Emma remarks it's the first time they've done a job like this and it's a bit different from cutting down trees; Jill hopes it's the last. Emma asks if they have attacked her hives, and Jill is afraid so. David hopes they have contained the damage by picking this up early, while Emma feels sorry for the poor honey-bees, but when she asks, Jill tells her they still have that lovely Brookfield honey; David gives credit where it is due and says it's thanks to Ben spotting them in the first place. As Emma is about to go and get started, Jill tells her to be sure to take some birthday cake for her and Ed before she leaves, and, when Emma thanks her and asks whose birthday, David says proudly that Jill is ninety-four today. Emma asks her if she is having a party; David answers for her and says a tea-party, which Emma thinks is lovely. She wishes Jill a very happy birthday, and Jill tells her that she is having one already.

As usual Khalil is too busy with his own concerns to listen to Azra, so she turns off the television and asks him for the third time if he has been round to Brookfield to apologise to Mr Archer. He then claims that he did go round straight from the school bus, but can't tell Zainab what Brookfield farmhouse is like, so they know he is lying. [And unobservant, since he must walk past it every day on the way home from the school bus. Chris.] When Azra suggests she might ring Mr Archer, and Zainab encourages her to, he says he will go and do it no; Azra warns him she will be checking up on him so he is to be sure he does it. When he has gone Zainab asks if she has David Archer's number, and Azra says no, but Khalil doesn't need to know that, does he.

After struggling to know what to do for the best, Susan has decided that Will needs to know about Poppy egging the dairy, and has gone to tell him.

Ed and Emma are off, having delivered the nest in the box to David; he makes sure they have got their cake, and thanks them for doing the job so efficiently. Emma feels it has been an education for them, and is going to tell everyone she knows to keep an eye out for Asian hornets. David has alerted the local NFU and the Garden Club and the Allotment Association; he and Emma agree you can't have too many people looking. As they are talking Khalil comes up, and, since they have just about finished, Emma takes her leave and David gives the boy his attention. He manages to drag an actual an apology out of Khalil, after a certain amount of equivocation which David simply doesn't accept. He tells Khalil that fortunately, he wasn't really fooled: he's been around the block enough times to know when someone is trying it on. Khalil is relieved, but David then points out to him that other people might not be so savvy so he needs to be careful who he tries to kid, because with a more vulnerable person the effects could be serious . Khalil accepts this, ruefully saying 'yeah'. David then thanks him for coming round, and offers him directions on how to get to the village [which he certainly knows, since he goes that way every day. Chris]. David then goes into the kitchen, where he finds Jill topping up the teapot and is mildly upset because it's meant to be her party and she shouldn't be having to work at it. He offers to do it for her, and tells her about having had an apology from Dr Malik's son; Jill says she'd like to have met him because he sounds quite a little character, so David goes and calls him in. Khalil asks if he is still in trouble, but David reassures him, then asks if he likes cake.

Susan explains to Will that the only person she's told so far is Pat, since Emma was upset enough already and Pat sent her home early. Susan needed to have a think before telling her, and what she thought was that she ought to talk to Will. Will thinks it seems such an odd thing to do, and Susan accounts for it as Poppy being angry with Susan and Emma for what she sees as dobbing George in. Will agrees that she seems in bits about George being locked up, which he hastily amends to 'probably' locked up, and Susan says she really doesn't want to make things worse for Poppy on top of everything else. Especially since it's only going to reinforce what Poppy already thinks of her, that she's a tattle-tale (or as Will suggests, a snitch). Will asks if she is sure, and she replies sure enough to come and tell him, though she knows it's impossible to prove. Inspiration strikes Will; actually, there is a way. This was on the day before yesterday, and before they headed home Will asked Poppy to pick up a couple of things from the shop, and once they got home she was very keen to put it all away for him. He checks the box of eggs, and there is clearly one missing.

After Khalil has been entertained with cake, David asks him if he needs a lift, but he says he walked there and can walk back; David jokes that at least he's now well fuelled up, only it looks as if he's got one anyway, because Azra and Zainab turn up in a car at that moment. Zainab does a certain amount of bullyragging Khalil while Azra is more concerned in case Khalil had run away instead of apologising, which affronts Khalil into saying that he is not a child. David tells her that Khalil did say sorry for yesterday, but explains he then got rather caught up in Jill's birthday celebrations. Azra's immediate reaction is to ask Khalil if he has been making a nuisance of himself and David says far from it, he has been entertaining them with his tales; Azra wants to be sure he hasn't been bothering them, so David assures her that Mum really liked having him around. Azra is satisfied, and then tells Khalil it's time to go because dinner is waiting; David suggests he might not need full portions tonight (to which Zainab says 'typical'). Azra asks David to pass on their good wishes to his mother, then as she tries to get Khalil into the car he asks David if he could come back some time, which surprises David a little, though he says Khalil can if he likes and he's sure Mum would be pleased to see him. Khalil thinks that's awesome, Azra thanks David again, goodbyes are said and Azra asks Khalil what she is going to do with him as she hustles him into the car; Zainab could apparently think of a few things, which makes David laugh.

Will has gone round to Little Grange to break it to Emma that Poppy was the Egg Flinger. As soon as Susan had gone he asked the child about it and she didn't try to deny it; she just fell apart, absolutely in bits, and he thinks she frightened herself by what she did. Emma remarks that she certainly frightened Emma. Will is fairly sure that she just saw Emma and Susan laughing and lashed out with the first thing that came to hand. She's at home with George looking after her; he knows about it because Will had to explain why Poppy was so upset, and he was pretty cut up: he's sort of resigned to what's going to happen to him, and thinks he deserves what's coming, but he doesn't want Poppy to get into trouble because of what he did. Will says that when Poppy's in a better state he'll bring her to apologise to Emma in person, but he wanted to come round straight away to tell her himself how sorry he is. He knows it isn't his fault, as Emma hastens to comfort him, but still. She finds it hard to believe: Poppy, though? It's hard to believe she'd do that when they've always got on so well. Will describes her as 'favourite auntie', but she is afraid she's not any more. Will agrees that she isn't for a while, any road. Emma asks what he is going to do about it, and he really doesn't know; he knows Poppy is struggling, but he can't just let it go. There ought to be some kind of punishment for doing something like that. Emma wonders if she isn't suffering enough; Will was wondering about taking some of her birthday money off her [has he noticed the price of eggs these days? if she had to pay for the egg she wasted that might make her think. Chris]. Emma argues that she is obviously devastated at the thought of losing her brother , and Will heaves a sigh and says that so is he. Emma makes that three of them. Will tells her that since they all moved into Number One it hasn't been perfect but they've had some really good times, like a proper family. Emma understands. And now, he mourns, it's such a mess. How did they get to here, he asks Emma miserably; she really doesn't know. Then his phone beeps for a message which he feels he'd better check in case it's George, but no: it's from Alice and says 'I need to speak to George. Do you know if he'll be at home tomorrow'. Emma wants to know what she means by 'speak to him', and Will doesn't know. It can't be good, though, can it, he says with panic in his voice.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 4th October, 2024

Alice sticks the boot in, Lilian turfs Will out.

Characters: Ed, George, Will, Alice, Lilian, Chris
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Ed is explaining to George how they removed the hornets' nest; George really isn't listening, but makes uh-huh noises. This is because he is not looking forward to Alice coming to talk to him. When Will comes back in he and Ed both offer to stay there so George is not left alone with Alice, but George would rather they went out. He suggests they should go to the pub. Will doesn't want to, but Ed reckons that's a good idea; he called round to take Will to the pub in the first place. Will says he wouldn't feel comfortable, and it's not a good idea. Ed tells him he can't hide at home for ever, and George that he doesn't want him to put his life on hold because of George, so when Alice arrives and George tells Ed he can't go running to Daddy if Alice is nasty to him, but has to face up to it like a man, Ed and Will do go out and leave the two alone together. Before they leave Ed asks whether she is actually allowed to talk to George: won't she get into trouble? George says he's not allowed to approach any witnesses, and Alice tells them that strictly speaking George could send her away, and when he says he isn't going to she asks if either of the others is going to report them, which they say they won't. Even if anyone does find out she's not bothered about getting a slap on the wrist when a few weeks ago she was preparing for jail. This silences everyone, and after a pause the two brothers go out, in Will's case reluctantly.

Once the men are out of the house Alice thanks George for agreeing to this, and he responds that she has a right to have a proper go at him. She tells him that she imagines enough people have already done that, and she has something for him, actually. He is surprised, and she says that he probably knows she had a chance to submit a statement to the court, which he says he did: an impact statement, right? She correctly calls it a victim personal statement and tells him she could read it out herself in court but she doesn't want to put herself through that, so the prosecutor will do it. But she does want George to hear it from her, face to face. George half-asks: so this is how she was affected by what he did? He braces himself for the worst, and she tells him that when she was first in rehab [in rehab for the first time: it was about a week before she came home. Chris] she got letters from her family as part of the process, all about how her actions had affected them while she was drinking. It was painful, but she found it really useful, and thinks he might too. He acquiesces: 'whatever you want'.

In The Bull, Lilian is pulling Chris a pint for himself and another for Harrison, whom he expects along shortly. Lilian is glad all is good between those two; Chris attributes this to the bad feeling between Harrison and Alice having been cleared up, and Lilian amends this to him having realised who they should really be angry with. Chris suggests they should change the subject, which is fine by her. She asks if he has heard about their 'name the pub cat' competition. He remembers that they did the same thing for the new peacock a few years ago, and Lilian says that if a gimmick's worth doing, it's worth repeating; Chris just hopes they end up with a better name than 'Prospero'. Banging at the door heralds the arrival of Ed and Will, and while Lilian says 'oh heavens' quietly, Will says 'Oh no, not him', presumably about Chris, and Ed tells him they're here now, and to come on. Ed tries to be cheerful, and greets Chris, whose reply is curt and followed by him stating that he's a bit surprised to see Will in there, which is supported by Lilian hissing 'yes'. Ed remarks that it's a free country and they are just two brothers wanting a quiet drink after work. Lilian tells him it's not that simple, and Chris says he's not to get him wrong and he doesn't have any problem with Ed because he was in the dark just like the rest of them. Ed plaintively asks if they can't just forget about that, and Lilian, with a gloating laugh, says it's going to be a very long time before any of them forgets it and she is really not sure it's a good idea for Will to be there. As Ed is about to expostulate she tells him she doesn't want her customers upset; it's not just Chris, and Harrison's going to be there any minute. Will says crossly to Ed that he told him, didn't he, and Lilian adds there are plenty more who feel the same. Ed is still trying to persuade her that they are not there to make trouble, but Will walks back out.

At 1, The Green, Alice is reading out her victim personal statement [we did not hear the beginning, but what we did hear is below in full. Chris] and expects George not to interrupt until she has finished it. By the time she does, he is in tears, and sobs out that he is so, so sorry.

Back at The Bull, Ed is trying hard to get through to Chris and Lilian that what they have to realise is that Will and Emma were in a really difficult situation. It might look like they were covering up for George ('they were covering up for him,' Chris interjects firmly) but the whole time, they were trying everything they could to get him to confess. Lilian harshly says that all they had to do was pick up the phone to the police, or talk to Harrison – he lives in the village. Ed asks her how they could shop their own son, to which Lilian indignantly asks how they could let Alice suffer for longer than she had to, and Chris chimes in that it was not just Alice; Shrilly, Lilian claims that half the village were affected. Ed accepts this and that they might have got it wrong; this gets an indignant exclamation of 'right?' from Lilian, to which Ed enquires if she hasn't ever made a mistake. She admits that she has, of course she has, thousands of times, but she can't recall ever framing an innocent woman. Or allowing a serious miscarriage of justice to happen, Chris adds. Ed points out it is so difficult when it's family, though: Chris should understand, George is his nephew. Chris won't accept this: no, he shouts angrily, don't you dare try that! After what he did to Alice and Martha that boy is no nephew of Chris's. After a pause, Ed says OK, maybe this was a mistake, and starts towards the door; Lilian tells him that if he wants a drink she is perfectly happy to serve him: as Chris said, they don't have a problem with him. Ed is no longer interested; he needs to go and make sure his brother's all right. As he leaves, Lilian lets out an exasperated breath.

Alice has finished reading her statement out, and George doesn't know what to say. He sniffs and sobs; he knew it was bad, but he never realised so many people were affected. Alice says 'yes'. So much, so deep, George sobs out. Alice says 'yes' again. George tells her he does mean it: he really is sorry. He knows it doesn't help, but he felt terrible about it from the start, but the longer he went on it just got harder and harder to put right. Briskly, Alice tells him she understands; like she said in the statement, she's far from perfect. She knows only too well what it's like to do stupid things that you regret. Believe her, she's done plenty. George whimpers 'OK', and Alice continues: she has to face the fact that if she hadn't started drinking again that she wouldn't have been in that car at that place at that time, and then... 'None of this would have happened,' George finishes for her. She tells him that's right; so she knows he's feeling pretty bad now. (He really is, he says.) She's going to give him a piece of advice that Fallon gave her: she's not going to be the excuse that George uses to let this break him. He doesn't get it, so she explains further: there's been so much waste because of what he did, but he mustn't let it waste his life as well. He's going to be punished for it and he needs to accept that [I heard her voice at this point as gloating; others may differ. Chris] like an alcoholic has to take responsibility for their actions; the broken George tells her he will, and that he deserves everything they're going to throw at him: this time next week he'll be banged up, and yeah, that's how it should be. Yes, she agrees happily, but that's only the first part of taking responsibility, she warns him; she knows what it's like to be locked away – in rehab not in young offenders, she knows that, but at first that's what it felt like, she was a captive, but she had to use her time there to face up to things and eventually come out ready to function in the world again. George, taking this in a positive spirit, says she did, didn't she; she put her life back together. And that's what he needs to do, Alice emphasises: assuming he does end up inside, he needs to take every opportunity he can. George promises that he will. Alice tells him he must not let this ruin him; he is not to let her down. He gives his word that he won't, and says this is a big wake-up call for him; he promises Alice he's going to come out of this a better person.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Victim personal statement of Alice Carter, in part (all we heard on air)

... because in this age of social media extensive and vicious condemnation of me can still be found on line, vastly outweighing any explanations that I have now been exonerated. So I came very close to losing a job I loved, and which as a single mother provided my only source of income, and because the business was owned by relatives added even more destructive strain to my family relationships as detailed above. But perhaps the most damaged relationship has been with my daughter. Of all the people affected by this, Martha is the most vulnerable. She is only three years old. She could not understand anything that was happening. All that she knew was that her Mummy, a near-constant presence in her life up to then, became only an occasional visitor, and when I was there I was a hollow shell of my true self, struggling to act as a mother should. Martha and I can never get back those missing weeks and even now, we have still to rebuild our mother-daughter relationship. Because of Mr Grundy's grotesque actions I was forced to believe, and others believed, that I severely injured and could have killed innocent friends and neighbours. As I hope I have explained, the web of damage and unhappiness this has caused is incredibly wide-ranging, and still continuing, despite the real facts now being known. But I would like to finish by describing the effects on me. I know I am far from perfect, I have struggled with alcoholism, not always successfully, but the intense guilt and self-doubt created by Mr Grundy not only after his actions took me to the lowest point I have ever been in my life; the self hatred reached a stage where I believed I had no right to exist on this earth. I was on a course of self-destruction and had the truth not come out when it did I have no doubt that this would have continued until the inevitable end.

Sunday 6th October, 2024

Lynda enunciates, Kenton prevaricates and it is to be hoped that Salieri defaecates.

Characters: Jolene, Kenton, Lynda, Lilian, Khalil, Zainab
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The Bull cat has gone missing, and Kenton clearly doesn't really care; Jolene assumes something is up with him, since she thought he was as taken with Kitty Cat as she was, but he explains that was before she decided to use his best jumper as a bed. Kenton is finding it hard work having a pet, and Jolene has no sympathy. [Of course she hasn't, it's Kenton. Chris.] After a quick interlude for a squabble an exchange of views about the kitten, Jolene goes to ring Fallon and invite her and Harrison over for a drink tonight; she thinks they may need a bit of TLC because George is in court this week, and Kenton agrees that they just need to get the couple through this week and hopefully it will all be over.

Having invited Lilian over for brunch, Lynda is doing some gardening and trying to convince Lilian that rather than leaving it all to the gardener, she might benefit from doing some gardening herself. When Lilian suggests she might have got her over on false pretences, she claims she is working up an appetite and they can 'shoot the breeze' as neighbours often do. Lilian is wondering whether she ought to try to persuade Alice to come to court on Thursday; Lynda thinks if Alice has decided she won't then that's her decision, but Lilian claims she hasn't actually said either way, not to her or to Adam, and they are not sure whether to bring it up. As Lilian is about to make further arguments for and against she spots a boy near the llamas and asks whether Lynda knows him; she doesn't, and goes over to see him off and tell him he is not to feed the llamas. He grunts at her, so she tells him 'the animals', and when he still doesn't react says it again slowly: 'no feeding the an-im-als'. Especially not jalapeño cheese crisps, she adds in a horrified tone. He then asks why she is talking like that and repeats 'an-im-als' in a slightly aggressive way; she tells him it's called enunciation, and he tells her it's called something else 'round our way'. She supposes that 'round his way' he can just drop cans and crisp packets in his wake, and he denies the can on the ground is his. She doesn't believe him, and reiterates that he must not feed the llamas. He tells her he wasn't, and she adds that neither can he just wander up to people's animals: it's not a zoo. In the countryside they all belong to someone. He comes back with a gotcha, that his grandmother said that animals don't belong to anyone and people are just their custodians; when Lynda asks if she is an expert on animals he tells her that his grandmother was a farmer. Oh, and by the way, that one on the left doesn't look very happy. Lynda is not inclined to take this seriously, and tells him that she would have him know Salieri is a very happy llama, but he will not be happy if visitors to the area keep littering. Would he throw litter about outside his home? The boy replies that it's not has can, but if it were he'd normally use a bin, although that concept doesn't seem to have reached the outskirts of civilisation. And anyway, he says, over-riding Lynda's indignation, his mum says he can only have fizzy drinks as a rare treat and she gets really serious about that. Also he's not stupid: llamas don't eat crisps, not that one crisp would kill them or anything, but their digestive systems do need a lot of fibre; maybe Sally-thingy ('Salieri', Lynda enunciates clearly for him) is constipated: that would explain the strained expression. Lynda has had enough of him and asks him for his name, which he declines to give her, asking 'why?' She tells him she insists on having a word with his parents about him, because he's wandered onto her land, he's littered... He asks if her ears work, and she adds that he is rather rude, unfortunately segueing into his possible criticism of her llama's health instead of his actually rude utterances. He offers to buy Salieri, which further exasperates her, and Lilian comes over to ask if everything is OK. Khalil sees this as a chance to make himself scarce; Lynda calls 'hey, hey, don't run off. What's your name?', presumably to his retreating back. She then tells Lilian that she expects he's just a rude youngster from the city, and Lilian asks what he said. Lynda tells her that he said Salieri looked constipated, and he wanted to buy him! A boy who can't have been more than about thirteen. Lilian cackles, but Lynda feels it's no laughing matter: clearly the boy dropped the can on the ground and then refused to own up to it. Lilian makes light of this and says she will take it, but Lynda is determined that she will do no such thing. If he wanders back that way she will make sure he takes it with him.

The cat-hunt is still going on when Jolene sees a stranger and they approach him, while discussing Fallon and Harrison not wanting to come over; Jolene can't blame them and reckons it will get better once George's sentencing is done and dusted. Jolene then asks 'who have we got here?' and the stranger says 'hello'. Kenton delightedly exclaims that he found her; they thought they'd lost her. The boy says accusingly that she was out on the road and he practically saved her life, which makes Kenton start to laugh and Jolene say that he's a hero then, though not in a very serious way. He claims he was just stroking the kitten so she would know she was safe, and she fell asleep on his arm. He says she is too small to be out alone [she is thirteen weeks at least. Chris] and Kenton tells him that small as she is, she is desperate to see the world. Jolene asks whether the boy is there with anyone, which he ignores in favour of telling them that if the cat had got into the fields she'd have been lost for good. Kenton murmurs 'if only'; Jolene says they should give him a reward for finding her, in that case, um... and he reveals that his name is Khalil and they've just moved into Beechwood. He asks the kitten's name and says it's important it's something she likes as names have a massive effect on an animal's behaviour, and Jolene tells him about the 'name the kitten' competition, to which Khalil at once responds that not having a name is why she ran. He says that his Baba had a cat called Sheru, because Sher means a lion and the u just makes it sound cute, but Baba's was a tom-cat. Jolene suggests putting it in the box as the first entry; Khalil thinks that's a bit of a rubbish reward for saving the cat's life. When Jolene asks if he has something else in mind he tentatively says maybe he could keep her; Kenton says it's an idea and Jolene, that she was thinking more of a packet of crisps. When it's clear he can't have the kitten he says he'd better go because his sister will be doing her nut, hands over the kitten and says 'bye Sheru'. When he is out of earshot Jolene asks whether Kenton thinks he'll be all right; Kenton does, since he said his sister was out with him.

In the meantime Lilian is saying that they did see a boy in a green jacket but her friend who spoke to him would know more, and she has just popped back into the house; they can ask her when she comes out. Zainab thanks her and explains he was with her, but then she took a call from their mum checking up on them and when she rang off he'd disappeared. They are getting on reasonably well when Lynda appears and asks if everything is all right; Lilian explains that this young lady was asking after her brother, and Lilian has said she thinks they have seen him. Lynda at once becomes offensive, saying 'Oh. So he's with you.' Zainab then puts herself in the wrong with Lynda by saying she saw the alpacas and thought he might have stopped to take a closer look because he loves animals. Lynda tells her he did stop, and she explained to him that the llamas belong to her. Zainab senses trouble and says carefully that she is just asking where he went, and Lynda says he ran off, in that direction. The word 'ran' alarms Zainab, who asks if he was OK, to which Lynda replies that she thinks so but she did ask him to pick up after himself. Lilian tries and fails to stop her from preaching about disposing of one's own litter and saying Zainab's brother dropped the can on the ground. Zainab looks at it and says that's not his can; she is absolutely sure because they are both boycotting that drink and have been for a while now. Lilian is glad that's cleared up, and takes it inside to dispose of it. Khalil comes over, and tells Zainab he's sorry, to which she replies that he will be when she tells Mum he walked off; he instantly says he never; Zainab says just because he spotted a pair of alpacas and he and Lynda chorus 'llamas!' and explain the difference between the two species; Lynda says it's an easy mistake to make, and Khalil adds 'especially if you've got a small brain like my sister.' Zainab just wants to get back home, and Lynda calls after them thanking them for visiting the village and wishing them a safe journey home to the metropolis. Khalil turns to explain that actually, they're local, but Zainab hustles him away.

Selecting the right picture to show off the kitten is causing Kenton problems, and Jolene comes upstairs to tell him it's getting busy and they will need him behind the bar with Tracy in a bit. Jolene doesn't think the picture matters much, but Kenton feels it needs to be cute to encourage people to vote. Jolene likes one in which the animal 'looks so tidy sat in that old Shires ashtray', so that is the one they use. She tells him Fallon texted and she and Harrison might pop by after all. Apparently she is feeling confused about the personal statement she's got to read out in court; Kenton points out that she doesn't have to, which Jolene knows is true. It's just that Fallon said she will so she feels she ought to and it is really playing on her mind. Jolene has said she'll go in to the court with her, which Kenton thinks a good idea; he will hold the fort at the pub.

Lilian offers to pass on her gardener's details if Lynda's garden ever gets too challenging for her and Robert; Lynda is preoccupied and Lilian realises she is still thinking about 'those two kids'. Lynda denies having given them another thought, though she then admits to having been upset by the insinuation she was being in some way offensive; it was too much, given the boy was trespassing. She has remembered he said he was local, and has realised that he might be Azra's son; what if she has offended Adil's family almost as soon as they moved in?

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 7th October, 2024

A day containing several more or less successful learning experiences.

Characters: George, Brad, Azra, Fallon, Adam,
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

George is preparing to hand over his business to Brad. His suggestion is that rather than put Brad's number on the website, he should ask Emma to pass his own phone to Brad, since he can't take it to prison with him. Brad tries to convince him he might not even get a custodial sentence, since it's his first offence, then corrects himself: George's first proper offence. Brad is to keep it charged and check it twice a day or so, and if anyone messages with a job, accept it and head on over as soon as he can. Brad objects that he's already quite busy, so George says he can leave it to the weekends but just make sure everyone who messages gets a reply. Brad wants to know why he's packing his stuff up, and he says it's in case Keira or Jake or Mia wants to stay: there's no use leaving all his stuff hanging around if he's not going to be there

For once, Azra is having something in the tea room rather than her usual order of a cappuccino to go; she's had some training that finished early. She wants a regular cinnamon chai latte and one of those bad boys, which Fallon tells her is seven pounds forty. Fallon will bring it over, though she is on her own so it might be a few minutes. She then greets Adam, who turns out to have been sent to help her; Tom says she has a booking this morning and is up against it. Fallon laughs at the idea of him helping her, but he claims to know his way around a kitchen, and she does have to cater for the South Borsetshire Culture group who are meeting there at eleven thirty: it's a first booking so it needs to impress. If he can handle out front, Fallon can finish putting their brunch together. Unfortunately Adam hasn't used that type of coffee machine before and thinks it looks rather complicated, so she prepares to talk him through it.

George is instructing Brad in the use of the drone, and also in basic salesmanship. Neither is a success: Brad ignores the sales talk and then crashes the drone into a tree, to George's irritation.

Another apprentice has also fouled up: Azra approaches Adam to tell him that what he has served her is not a cinnamon chai latte. She thinks it might be caramel. He apologises and says he will get her another, and whilst he is doing it Azra tells him she has had a social visit from Alice; speaking as a villager and a neighbour, it was nice to see Alice looking so well. Adam is glad she was looking well, and that Alice called to see how she was settling in; he asks how she is settling in, and she sighs that she supposes it's fine, but sometimes it feels as if the bags and boxes are procreating while her back is turned. Adam laughs with her about this while reassuring her that it does all get done eventually. However, the coffee machine defeats him, so it is just as well Fallon comes just then to see if everything is all right; she tells him she can help for a minute but really needs to start assembling the sandwiches and plating up. He volunteers to do that for her, since he is struggling with the coffee machine and could use a whole morning being instructed by her to get it under his belt. Fallon supposes all the cooking is done and it's just a case of cutting the sandwiches and putting everything out on the platters and cakes stands; Azra reminds him that she still doesn't have her chai latte, and Fallon starts to get that for her while Adam escapes to the kitchen. Fallon calls 'Crusts off the bread, please!' after him, and he replies 'got it'.

The drone was not irreparable, and George has fixed it while Brad made them a brew. Brad apologises again for damaging it, and George sharply tells him to leave it, then more calmly tells him it wasn't his fault. Brad remarks that the room looks weird, which George corrects to 'tidy'. George then gets a message from Mia, and explains to Brad that she's been texting wishing him all the best for Thursday, and even Jake has sent a couple, which Brad thinks shows they care for him. George gloomily doesn't know why, and Brad jollies him along a bit: he's just got to get through this any way he can. George reveal that he made a promise to come out of it better, and when Brad asks 'better than what?' says better than he is now. When Brad tells him not to be too hard on himself, George says he has to be, and when Brad asks 'says who?' he replies 'everyone, probably'.

When Adam, sounding vaguely complacent, asks Fallon if it's all good, she tells him it's not, and he is taken aback and asks why. She says she thinks you could see the sandwiches from outer space, and she's sorry but if he's going to cut the bread that thick, and overfill them, it really makes no difference whether the crusts are removed or not. She explains that it's for women from a culture group, and Adam apologises and says he just thought they looked nice and rustic, like her usual sandwiches: everyone loves those. Fallon protests those are for lunchtime customers, but then gives up and tells him not to worry about it. He says he thought he was going with the brief and she should have said, but she claims she didn't have a chance. Groups like this want small and dainty, and Natasha and Tom want repeat business, she says slightly despairingly, but anyway it's done now. Azra, coming to say goodbye, reassures Adam that what the group have looks lovely to her, and asks him for a couple of brownies for the kids. She also remarks she hasn't seen Emma in there the last couple of times and supposes that's why Fallon needs some help, to which Adam just says 'yes' before asking her for five pounds fifty for the brownies. Azra bets Fallon can't wait till Emma is back, and Adam says he's not sure about that, then is obliged to explain that George is her son and it's a bit difficult. Azra didn't realise, and was so sorry to hear about everything that's gone on; Adam tells her, you and me both. Fallon comes asking for a couple more pots of Earl Grey, and Azra takes her leave and departs. Adam asks anxiously if they said anything, and Fallon reports that yes, they love it, much to Adam's relief. Apparently one of them did say she'd be skipping dinner tonight, but in a good way. She thanks Adam and apologises for her earlier crossness; she doesn't think she could have handled a complaint right now. She asks if Alice is going to the hearing; she didn't want to ask her, and Adam says he's the same and just didn't want to rock the boat when Alice seems to have found some balance at the moment. He was delighted when Azra said she had visited her last week: to know she's going out seems positive, surely? Fallon fervently agrees. She will be going to the hearing because she said she would read out her statement in court, which Adam seems to find impressive and admirable, saying it's good and everyone needs to hear the effects of what happened on the victims, especially her. Fallon says it's just, does she want to do it? Adam turns that round: what made her say she would? Fallon doesn't know: she just felt a strong urge to list it all and see it in black and white all in one place, and once she'd written it she thought she should read it. With him there. So he knows. Not going, not reading it out, felt like she's scared or has got something to hide, she says questioningly. Adam at once tells her she hasn't. Whatever the sentence, the one thing George shouldn't escape is a true understanding of what he's done. Fallon says she just doesn't want to be scared any more, of anything. [And having a go at George in court will mean you no longer feel scared? Why? Chris.]

Brad is washing up their mugs and is told by George that he doesn't have to and that he has been working in hospitality for too long. Brad asks what George is thinking, and George says 'nothing' but then asks what if he goes away for so long no-one remembers him? Brad tells him not to be daft, but he's serious: everyone will have spent all that time doing their own thing. Mum and Ed are already used to it being just them and Keira... Brad says 'don't', but George goes on to say Dad and Poppy are going to be the same, and he's going to have changed too, isn't he. Brad tells him not to go there: it's not going to help him or anyone. George mutters that he doesn't deserve to be missed and Brad objects: oy! he says, stop it! George says he will miss this place, and he'll miss Brad. He sniffs, and Brad calls him a softie; he asserts that he means it: he knows they're not the same, but whenever they hang out he knows Brad wouldn't be there unless he wanted to be. That's solid. Brad even stood up to his mum for George, and he didn't have to. She had every right to say the things she said last week. Brad tells him it was nothing, and George tells him he knows he's said it before, but thanks. Brad says don't mention it, then defuses the emotion by asking if George is going to kiss him now, or? George instantly says yes, go on then, and Brad tells him to get off, get off! much as he's a pain in the backside. They both laugh, and Brad says he'll miss George too.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 8th October, 2024

Alice pimps Chris, and Lynda makes a peace-offering.

Characters: Zainab, Khalil, Lynda, Alice, Hannah
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

As soon as Khalil gets home, Zainab insists that he must change out of his school uniform and help her unpack some boxes; he is reluctant because he only just got back from school, but she is in full 'bossy elder sister' mode, supported by their mother having left her in charge until she gets back, which will be late because she has an extended clinic. She left instructions that he is to get out of his uniform as soon as he gets in, and Zainab adds that the rules don't change because it's a new house. Khalil misses the old house, he says; doesn't she? She says they're here now and have to suck it up, and the doorbell rings so she looks out of the window to see who it is. Even when he sees who it is, Khalil is interested by the dog, but Lynda rapping on the door and shouting that she can see them spooks Zainab. They open the door and Lynda starts in a friendly way and introduces Monty (of whom Khalil immediately wants to make a fuss, except Zainab tells him to say in the house), saying she thought she would drop by and see how Azra is settling in: what a surprise to see you two here! Khalil says it's not really a surprise, they live there, and Zainab asks suspiciously how Lynda knows Azra's name; Lynda laughs and says they should start again. She is Lynda Snell, and she and Azra are friends, and before she knew Azra Lynda was host to her brother Adil, whom she guesses is their uncle. Oh, Zainab says, enlightened: she's that Lynda. Lynda is disconcerted and hopes Adil said only good things about her, then asks for their names, at which point Zainab tells her they are not allowed to let strangers into the house and firmly shuts the door. In the silence that follows, Khalil tells Zainab she'd better hope Lynda and Mum aren't good friends, because that was rude. Zainab points out that Lynda was rude about him, so fair's fair.

Hannah has just finished cooking a shepherd's pie for supper, and also just found out that Stella won't be in for the meal, so when Alice calls round to give her the book on cricket coaching which Chris offered to lend her some time ago, Hannah invites her to stay and eat it with her.

When she gets in Azra is glad to see her children have cleared some more boxes, though not as many as she'd hoped; they pounce out from hiding behind the sofa. After a lame explanation from Khalil, Azra laughs and says it was so like him, though she is surprised Zainab went along with it. Zainab says it saved her from the boredom of unpacking the boxes, and Azra (predictably, it seems from Khalil's reaction) reminds her that she could have been at university, then asks if Khalil helped with the unpacking. (He clearly didn't much.) When she wants to know what his day at school was like, he tells her it was just like yesterday, and, when she asks if that's all he's got for her, tells her that it's still new. He doesn't know anyone that well, and they all still stare at him. Zainab tells him that's because his hair's proper crazy, and Azra defends him, saying he can't help it if he's got too much hair: it was doing its own thing from the moment he was born. Khalil says that if they have a mouse, they need a cat [no, I didn't see how that followed from anything either. I think a line about his hair being like a mouse's nest must have been cut. Chris] and he knows where to get one; Azra tells him not to start and calls on both her children to help her get the last bit of unpacking done. She doesn't want anyone coming round and thinking they are still living like this; Zainab, slightly anxiously given Lynda earlier, asks 'like who?' and Azra lists possibilities: neighbours, friends; Khalil asks 'like Lynda?' and then gasps and says 'Zainab', who presumably kicked his ankle. Azra is surprised, and Zainab says she might have come round earlier to see how Azra was settling in; Azra hopes they made her tea and gave her biscuits, and Khalil says they couldn't be hospitable because Zainab shut the door in Lynda's face. Azra is horrified and gasps 'what?' and then 'why?'

Hannah and Alice are having a good laugh together about an unsuitable man Hannah is not going out with any more; he was cute, but she saw him drop the meat from her dinner-plate, pick it up off the floor, wipe it and serve it. Hannah pretended she had an allergic reaction to the sauce and needed her medication, and ran. She hasn't been on a proper date since. She then says it's nice to see Alice laughing, which hasn't happened the last few times she's seen her, and mentions that she's had her fair share of run-ins with George and she doesn't have much good to say about him, but she couldn't believe he'd stoop that low. She's glad Alice is now doing better. Alice reciprocates by hoping that Hannah finds someone nice to date soon. She then asks if Hannah likes Chris, and, although Hannah tells her they are just mates, starts to try to sell Hannah on the idea of finding out if he might be interested in her, assuring her that apart from Martha's existence there is nothing left between Alice and Chris. Hannah is distinctly suspicious and seems to have realised that Alice may be through with Chris but Chris is sticking by Alice. Alice says he's always been very loyal but insists that's all it is: nothing more than looking out for Alice because she is Martha's mum. Hannah asks if Alice ever wonders if breaking up was the right thing to do, then apologises and says she was just following the thought through: the two of them seem so good together. Alice admits they were good together, very good, until they weren't. Hannah tries to change the subject but Alice is not done: if Hannah likes him she should go for it. Hannah doesn't seem particularly keen on the idea.

By opening her door just before Lynda has rung the bell, Azra frightens Lynda 'half to death' [try harder next time. Gus]; Azra was about to put out the bins but invites Lynda to come in, saying she can do those later. Lynda says she popped by earlier to see how Azra was settling in [which since Azra has been living in Ambridge since early May, to Lynda's knowledge, seems a little belated for a house-warming visit. Chris] and Azra apologises for her children's behaviour in not inviting Lynda in earlier: she gave them a good talking to about it. Lynda says that she wondered if Azra had mentioned her to them, or perhaps their uncle Adil had, but Azra doesn't answer, instead calling her children to come down because they have company. She then says her head has been all over the place what with work and moving in [for the past five months. Chris] and their dad being away [also for at least the past five months. Chris] and she's not sure she has. She then says it's good for the children to meet someone friendly, and describes in unflattering terms the obnoxious woman they encountered at the weekend, who had some exotic animals on her land; Khalil loves animals and went over to have a look, and this woman accused him of feeding them crisps, and then chased him about with an empty can of pop accusing him of littering, Azra tells Lynda indignantly. She adds that he's not even allowed fizzy drinks except as a treat. Lynda is incredulous about him saying that she chased him with the can. Khalil, who has come in, corrects this slightly, saying that actually she held onto it after he told her it wasn't his, and then tried to accuse him when he came back. Can you believe it? Azra asks rhetorically; Lynda breathes the word 'no'. Azra says she knows there must be some eccentric types around here who want to be left alone, and she wouldn't want to jump to conclusions about why she behaved that way, but then, if you don't want anyone looking at your animals, put up a clear sign. Khalil says that she was definitely the 'r' word, which shocks both Azra and Lynda until he explains he means 'rural' – with what truth we cannot tell. He adds 'rifle in hand, get off my land'. Azra says she hasn't met anyone like that in Ambridge so far, and then, in a sly tone, asks Lynda, there aren't any, are they? [This lends credence to a feeling she knew all along about whom she spoke, and had probably asked her children why they shut the door on Lynda and thus discovered who it was who had been unpleasant to them. Chris.] Lynda laughs, perhaps a little uncomfortably, and says of course not: this is middle England, not the Wild West. [Personally I wouldn't put it past Ed, if someone had a dog with them; he has form. Chris.] Farmers do have guns, she explains, but they don't wander about the fields with them. Khalil says 'shame' and Azra calls him to order; he then says he is hungry, and Lynda plays a master card: that's good, because she made them a tagine. Azra exclaims that she shouldn't have, but she is really pleased she did: they've had spicy eggs with pita bread two days running. She goes to set the table, which leaves Khalil alone with Lynda, who says accusingly 'chased you with a can, did she, this rural woman?' He says 'errr' and she tells him to stay right there, young man', at which moment Zainab comes down and walks in asking what's going up; she is taken aback to see Lynda, who greets her with 'hello'. Khalil tells her that Mrs Snell made them a tagine, which he reckons means she deserves a chance. Zainab is not so sure, and says it depends what's in it. Lynda says she thought they might only eat Halal meat, like Adil, so she made a fish tagine with fresh vegetables from her garden. Khalil thanks her and says they have been living off eggs for days. She tells them their uncle spoke very fondly of them, but the question remains: what did he tell them about Lynda? Zainab escapes by saying she had better go and help Mum, and ignores Lynda saying 'hang on', so Lynda remarks sadly that Zainab doesn't like her; Khalil tells her consolingly that his sister doesn't really like anyone straight away. He asks where Monty is, and Lynda tells him the dog is at home with her husband Robert, but she can bring him next time if Khalil likes, which thaws Khalil enough to cause him to tell her that Uncle Adil only said good things about her: Zainab is just winding her up. This is a great relief to Lynda, though Khalil then adds except when she booted him out of his room for Rylan: Adil really didn't like that! Lynda anxiously asks him to let her explain, then realises that's a wind-up, so the two of them start to laugh together.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 9th October, 2024

It is the last day before George's trial and all the Grundys are unsettled.

Characters: Eddie, George, Ed, Emma, Will
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

In search of a bit of normality, George is helping with the turkeys; Eddie thinks that is admirable and thanks him for it. He also tells him that George doesn't know he will be sent to prison tomorrow, which George ignores, saying they need to look at the paddock fencing over on the far side, once the turkeys are all in. He then notices that Eddie is wearing his good trousers; what if Clarrie, who is now back, sees him wearing them out there? Eddie explains that she's doing a big tea for everyone tonight and he knows he won't have time to change, though George warns him it is mucky out there in the turkeys' field. Eddie wants to talk with George about the 'big day' tomorrow and warns him not to knacker himself out, and if there is anything George wants to talk about, well, Eddie is there for him; they all are. George says he just wants to work out at the field with Eddie, if that's OK. Eddie tells him that of course it is. George proposes to take the muck out, and come back with the hose to fill the drinkers. Eddie suggests he should then go and find Poppy, who said earlier that she was going to come and help.

Driving back from a job, Ed and Emma are talking about their equipment when Will sends a message to say he is back home if Emma wants to pack George's things. Ed doesn't mind dropping her off there, and will also be OK to make sure Keira gets back from school; apparently Poppy has taken the day off to be with George. Emma reckons that's protective instincts in a younger sister; Will is going to ring in sick for her. If George's little sister wants to be with him on his last day before... well, she's every right to. [Bollocks. Gus.] George is seeing to the turkeys with his grandpa, so he's asked Emma to pack up everything she thinks he might need. Ed muses that Dad was going to let him take the lead on the turkeys this year, and Emme isn't surprised when he did so well with the haymaking; he could handle the turkeys easy. Emma is worried that Clarrie's going to do all this cooking and fuss for a family tea and it will backfire: what if it's too much, or George gets overwhelmed? Ed muses, then slowly says that in that case they'll be there for him. They all will.

At least one turkey has gone to roost in a tree; also it is getting dark. George tells Eddie that Poppy has been making a video on Grandma's phone of messages for him for tomorrow, and she filmed the fields and everything so he doesn't forget what they look like. He is about to show it to Eddie when he realises that more than just one turkey has got through the fence, and he and Eddie set off through the mucky field to retrieve them. They realise the turkeys flew out rather than going through the fence. George catches one, and Eddie grabs at the second and comes a cropper in the mud, but George succeeds in catching it and returning it to the paddock. Eddie is wet through, and so is George, but Eddie reckons if it's not his trousers Clarrie will find something else to have a go at him about and refuses to worry. It's too dark now to fix the fencing, and George says he'll do it with him in the morning. Eddie pauses, then says it will get done; George tells him that he'll miss this place. Eddie says that he knows, and then tells him with determination that in worst case, it will all still be there when he gets back. He'll promise him that.

The fact that George has tidied his room causes a shrill attack on Will by Emma, who wants to know what Will is playing at. Will, who has made her a cuppa, carefully explains that it was George who cleared his stuff away, not Will, and he did it so people could stay over without tripping on his things. This takes the wind out of her sails, and Will adds that he told George not to be daft, his stuff should stay in his room, but it seemed like something he really wanted to do. Emma apologises for her diatribe, and Will says understandingly that it's OK. Ed comes in just as Will is saying Mum's texted twice to make sure they'll be back at the farm for tea, and Will offers him a cuppa, which he refuses. He's there in case Em needs a hand, and she says crossly that there's no need for Ed when George can hardly take anything with him; when Will says that the solicitor said to bring a bag she retorts that they don't know where he might go so they don't know what they'll let him have. She's got him a notebook and put their numbers in it, and put in underwear and socks, and they said one set of clothing. Will says that he and Poppy pulled some pictures out for him, but Emma stops him. No, sorry, Will, but George said, no pictures. He said it would be harder if he'd got pictures of everyone. Ed has been racking his brain trying to think what George can take with him, what he can give him, but what do you give your kid to take to a... Will says there's still a chance he gets off lightly; it is a first offence. Ed grunts,and Emma says hardly: them sort of chances are for other people, not them. They get squashed the moment they step out of line, she says bitterly. After a pause she says she'd better get back upstairs, and does; Will softly asks Ed if she is OK, and Ed says he doubts it: she's trying to be strong for George but Ed can only imagine what's going on inside.

At Grange Farm Emma, as Clarrie's messenger, gives Eddie a direct quote: 'Are you going to do anything to help, or just sit there?' Eddie says he is doing the seating plan, and Emma says if he puts the cutlery out that will keep Clarrie happy. Eddie's strategy is to stay sitting down so Clarrie won't see the state of his trousers, as he tells George. George thinks he might go and help Poppy, Keira and Clarrie (and we assume Emma) in the kitchen, but is told by Ed that it's all systems go in there and by Eddie to sit down, and the men try to involve him in talk about the turkeys, which he just barely manages. When they say they plan to go with him to court, though, he panics, and tells them he doesn't want that, they've got work, they've all got stuff to do, and he doesn't want them to see him there. When Ed says it's too big for him on his own, he says he won't be on his own: Mum will be there. They ought to get on with what they'll be doing; he's caused enough trouble. Emma brings through the bread-rolls and knows after one look at George that he's told them his plans; Ed asks her if she's all right with it, and George, realising what he is asking, says that if it's too much for her he can... but she says no, it's fine, they'll be fine, which reduces George to tears. He says he's really sorry to everyone for everything and he knows they're all ashamed of him; Emma tells him they know he is sorry, and they all reassure him that they are not ashamed of him. Eddie adds that everyone makes mistakes, but it takes a real man to square up and face the consequences. They're not ashamed of him; if anything they are prouder of him than they've ever been.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 10th October, 2024

George has his day in court, Fallon lays it on with a trowel, and Emma makes an exhibition of herself.

Characters: George, Emma, Sharon (solicitor), Susan, Ms Bartram (prosecution counsel), Fallon, Mr Marney (defence counsel), Judge Hardwick (in England, Mr Justice Hardwick)
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

At the court, Emma is making sure George is neat and tidy while George worries because his solicitor isn't there yet. Adam and Lilian walk in and look at George, to his dismay, but before he can get too upset his solicitor comes over and explains the proceedings of the court to them. George will be given over to the court officials, who will be with him until they are ready for them in court. She asks if he has a bag, and Emma shows it to her. She tells them the judge has all the various statements, and that Fallon will be reading out hers in court. [See below for the text of what we heard on air. Chris] This surprises George, who regrets that she will be there. As Sharon asks whether they have any questions, Susan arrives, and Emma excuses herself to Sharon in order to confront Susan.

Attempts by Emma to get Susan to leave, it being her birthday and all, are unsuccessful: Susan says she can hardly stay away and, when Emma tells her George doesn't want anyone there and that's why she and George are there alone, firmly states that George is her grandson and Emma is her daughter, and she didn't convince Emma she should tell the police the truth about George so Emma could face this day alone. She's staying. The solicitor and George come to find Emma because they are about to take George through, and when Emma asks whether she will see him again if they send him down, the solicitor tells her he will be taken straight from the courtroom to the cells, then processed and sent to the Young Offenders' Institution from there. Susan intervenes to say that's only if he's sent down and there's nothing to say he won't get a suspended sentence or community service or something; the solicitor agrees that is possible, and Emma says they are due a miracle. The solicitor says she will give them a moment, and Emma, businesslike, tells George not to forget his bag. He interrupts her to thank her for coming with him, and for trying: he knows she tried. She tells him there are no thanks needed, he's her boy, and he asks Susan to look after Emma, to which Susan replies that of course she will, adding that she loves him. He says 'see you on the other side' and goes after Sharon; Emma tells Susan that she hates this, and Susan tells Emma that hard as it is, this is what 'facing up to it' looks like.

Speaking for the prosecution, Ms Bartram draws the judge's attention to the fact that George's actions cannot be seen in the light of one mistake, made in haste. With increasing heat, she maintains they were a series of calculated lies designed to extricate himself from a situation for which he was responsible, while implicating a vulnerable woman with a young child, which resulted in Ms Carter's addiction to alcohol worsening, and impairing her ability to mother her three-year-old child. She mentions the victim statement from Mr Michael Fadmore, terrified that his partner Ms Joy Horville was knocked unconscious, then says they will now hear from Ms Fallon Rogers. Susan murmurs that Jolene is there, and Emma says she must have come for Fallon: she wasn't there before. She doesn't know how George is going to get through this: look at his face. Susan tells her he is stronger than she thinks.

Fallon reads out her victim impact statement [see below. Chris], which at times makes George react with emotion and at the end call out that he is sorry.

During the lunch recess Emma has just finished letting Ed know how things have gone so far, when to her surprise Fallon approaches her. Emma says that must have been difficult, referring to reading the statement out, and Fallon says it can't have been easy for Emma, hearing it; Emma simply says it wasn't. Fallon then thinks she'd better go to be with Jolene. [Not wanting to be caught fraternising with the enemy, eh? Chris.] She hopes Emma finds the day ... manageable. Emma hopes this too, then adds that George is sorry; really, really sorry. Fallon knows: she saw it in his face. But what happened still happened, she says, and Emma has to agree there's no hiding from that. George's solicitor then comes to tell Emma they are going back in and it is the defence's turn.

For the defence, Mr Marney gives an account of Alice trying to get out of the moving car and thus causing George to 'lose sight of the road for a fateful moment', but points out that George did not flee the scene as he could easily have done; instead he called the emergency services before racing down to the river and helped save all three souls from drowning. He paints a good picture of George risking his own life to save Fallon. George Grundy made one poor choice that night, out of fear and inexperience, he tells the court; every other choice was intended to help. He mentions Pat's statement describing George as an asset to the farm, always ready to take on any task however physically taxing. He also mentions that before Alice was punished for his mistake, George owned up and pleaded guilty, and that it was a first offence, and asks if George deserves to be incarcerated at this young age for a poor choice made in a panic. Susan appreciates his speech and says he's good, isn't he; Emma replies that Sharon said he was, and please God let the judge agree.

When it comes to the sentencing the judge pulls everything back together and lays it out in order, to provide reasons for his decision as to the sentence. He believes that on the night of the fifth of May, 2024, George found Alice in her car, too drunk to drive, and he believes that George intended to bring her safely home and prevent any potential danger caused by her drunken state. He believes the witness statements, clear about how determined George was to save the three victims trapped in a car in the river. However, to have the presence of mind after the rescue to go back to Ms Carter's car, to move her from the passenger seat into the driving seat, which also takes strength and determination, was a conscious act of deception, unquestionably aimed at saving himself and implicating Ms Carter, and later Harry Chilcott. [Woolly, that, for a judge. Gus.] Had he owned up to the truth, so much suffering of the victims in the case would have been prevented. This he believes is not a matter to be overlooked. Please stand. The sentence he passes is, for the charge of dangerous driving, one year, and for the charge of perverting the course of justice, two years, to be served concurrently. Take him down, says the judge, and Emma screams 'No!', while George shakily says 'It's OK, Mum.'

(There was applause in the court at the sentence, as well as distressed noises, but it was not possible to tell from whom.)

Once outside the court, Emma wails and screams while Susan tries to calm her; she wants to know how she can be strong when they've taken her boy: she can't do this, she can't do this, she sobs.

In the cell, Sharon tells George she's got all his paperwork, and he will be sent to Handale, and he doesn't know where that is. She then tells him this doesn't happen often, but there is no space in any of the Young Offenders' Institutions so he's being sent to an adult prison. In alarm, George exclaims 'no way!' and asks why, and what she means by 'no space'; can't he wait till there's a place free? She patiently explains that's not how it works, and it's not as bad as it sounds: he'll be in an adult facility, but in a wing reserved for inmates twenty-one and under; he won't be around the adult inmates. He cries out that they can't do this, but she says gently that she is afraid they can, and they do. The paperwork is done, and they'll transport him to Handale soon; she has to leave now. George implores her to listen: his mum is going to flip when she hears where he's going, so please tell her... Tell her he was OK about it. Tell her he's going to be OK. She says she will, and wishes him good luck as the door opens to let her out. Left alone in his cell, George cries quietly.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Victim personal statement of Fallon Rogers, in part (all we heard on air)

Then I was lying there, on the bank of the Am, looking at this young (pause) friend who'd gone back into the horrible black water alone, for me. I felt so grateful to George, and I thought it would end there. But it didn't. When I found out it was Alice, also my friend, driving the car, that fact alone was a challenge for my husband and me. Then we found out I was... was pregnant, and just as suddenly I wasn't any more. I don't know if that was definitely down to the accident but my husband believes it was and he always will. Through that time I have watched my strong, capable friend Alice Carter unravelling, isolating herself from everyone who cares for her because she thought she didn't deserve any better. Then the truth finally came out and my world got shaken up again. I was back in the car, in the dark, with everything on its head and filling up with water. The person who saved me was the reason I was trapped in the first place. He didn't dive back into that water to save me because he cared, he did it because he knew it was his doing. I still can't sleep. I can't really be myself around my husband, not properly, not yet. And I can't work with a friend and colleague who I miss very much, because George is her son. That's it. That's it.



Friday 11th October, 2024

Much ado about the naming of cats, and an aborted phone call.

Characters: Kenton, Jolene, Lilian, Susan, Emma, George
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy
Howe

Yet again Kenton reminds Jolene not to forget to include his Flower and Produce award-winning best apple and cheese pie on the specials board; her reply is 'as if I could', and he chuckles and tells Lilian that she's just jealous, which Lilian obviously doubts given the entire table having fallen. Jolene remarks that 'livid' would be more like it, if she could be bothered. Truth be told, she is so relieved after yesterday. Lilian sighs 'aren't we all' and then says that reminds her: a drink for them, on her, whatever they like. Jolene wants a juice, though Lilian at once says they are toasting the British justice system, and yesterday put their little world to rights. Kenton says a heartfelt 'hear hear' and Lilian adds that she is glad that Alice and Fallon can both draw a line under it now. Kenton suggests whiskies all round, and Jolene cautions him to be careful, since they don't know who might be in. Lilian says they don't need to worry about it anyway, because justice [unlike Will Grundy. Gus] was served. Jolene mentions the other side of things: it's really hard on Emma, though. George deserved what he got, but he is still her kid. Lilian argues that he's old enough to do what he did, he's old enough to be put away for it; that's her view. She's pleased Alice didn't go yesterday in the end, and Jolene says part of her wishes Fallon hadn't, which makes no sense to Lilian: Fallon was brilliant, and very brave. Jolene's point is that it took it out of her; and all this because of one bad decision. Kenton thinks it's good that Fallon went: when he spoke to her yesterday afternoon she sounded, well, content, like she was ready to put everything that's happened to her to bed. He asks how Alice took the news of the sentence, and Lilian can't say exactly: she's hard to read these days, and it was via text anyway. Lilian and Adam decided they'd message her the verdict and leave things open for her to talk abut it if she wanted, and so far she hasn't said anything to Lilian. Kenton goes to serve someone, and Lilian asks Jolene where the kitten is; Jolene says 'upstairs', and that they can't have her down there when they are open or she wanders off outside. Lilian doesn't think much of the picture of her on the name-suggestion box and says it makes her look scrawny; Jolene defensively tells it's the clearest one they could get, and Lilian thinks maybe it's the huge ashtray she's sitting in that makes her look even smaller than she is. The affronted Jolene goes to put the specials board up, and Lilian remarks to Kenton that she may have offended his wife; he tells her not to worry, because Jolene is used to it when it comes to that kitten. He thinks 'Scrawny' is a good name for her, and puts it in the suggestions box, slightly to Lilian's horror. She then questions whether a gallon of ale is an appropriate prize, given that it's not for everyone: Lilian wouldn't know what to do with a gallon of ale, since she is a G&T person. Shouldn't it be champagne? Kenton tells her to steady on [Why? Eight pints is about thirty-five to forty quid, a bottle of champagne (not the good stuff) is twenty-five to thirty. Chris], and anyway the prize is already stated online and on the suggestions box. Lilian supposes it does appeal to the regulars.

Emma has not yet got out of bed, and Susan is trying to persuade her to do so. Emma draws a comparison with her life being like falling downstairs: first George admits it was him in the car. Doof. Then everything she thought turns upside down, and then facing everyone, and work. Doof. And Fallon, and Alice, and then Clive (Susan says 'don't remind me' in a heartfelt way), and then it finally lands at the bottom. And this whole system takes her baby away, just like that, and they put him in an adult prison. Susan reminds her that Sharon explained he'd be on a wing with people his age, but Emma doesn't care: the solicitor also said it's rare, it rarely happens, so why her? Why them? Why George? That's what she means. It's like, she was at the bottom of the stairs, but she's not. There's another long set of stairs waiting for her to fall down them. Susan reminds her that George said it's OK, but Emma isn't having it: of course he said that, he was just being George! Bitterly she adds that since they all encouraged him and forced him to tell the truth, he had no choice but to own it, to be brave, to style it out. But Emma knows he's scared: he was scared of being sent down and he'll be really scared of an adult prison. And where's her phone call? They said he'd get there and he'd have a phone call: it's lunch time and he hasn't phoned, what if something's happened, what if someone... Susan cuts across her rising hysteria and sharply tells her to listen. Do not underestimate her child. She can't live on what ifs. Does Emma know how many nights Susan has spent worrying about her, that she's got too much on her plate, that she won't make it through, but she always does. And so will George. He's Emma's son! Now, Susan tells her determinedly, get up and get dressed. She doesn't want to sound half asleep when he does call. Besides, she's got Keira to think about: she can't come home from school and see her mother still not dressed. Emma crossly says she hates it when Susan is right, just as her phone rings; but it's only Will, and she told everyone to message her and leave the line free for George.

The Bull is still a bit quiet for a Friday lunch-time, according to Jolene, though Kenton is sure it will pick up. Lilian is going through the suggestion box, and reads out 'Catty McCatface' in a disdainful tone. She can't see what 'Frank Bruno' has to do with their little kitten, and Jolene thinks it may be a drunken entry. Lilian thinks 'Sherlock' is nice, and is then incredulous about Mercury, which Jolene explains to her as a the smallest planet in the solar system. Lilian then finds 'Sheru' and has that explained to her as well, with Jolene adding that she likes the sound of it. Lilian notes that if it means lion, it ought to be lioness. She hopes the entries on line are better than the ones in the box, and if they aren't, a winner can't be chosen today. They'll have to hang on until they have some decent entries; when Jolene wants to know how long she expects that poor creature to go without a name, Kenton says she's made it this far and it doesn't seem to bother her, and Lilian says it's the pub mascot and will be around for at least a decade, and they need to give it at least another week.

Kids' cereal is better than nothing for Emma to eat, as far as Susan is concerned, and Emma does thank her mother for making her get up. She has been looking the prison up on line and brooding over it. She hasn't slept because of all her worry about George, some of which she shares with Susan; Susan tells her to stop, because there is no benefit at all in imagining the worst. As soon as he calls George can tell her the actual answers to all her questions. Then she can worry about real things, and till then Emma needs to wake up every morning and keep putting one foot in front of the other and doing everything she'd normally do, and believe her, when George calls all he'll want is a little bit of that normal. He'll hear it in her voice if it's not there. Emma thanks her again, and Susan tells her to eat her cereal; she promised George, didn't she, that she'd look after Emma. Emma says she's her mum, isn't she, and that's her job, and she's right: he's stronger than Emma gives him credit for. Now more positive, Emma says they will get him through it.

The search for a kitten name has now moved on to the the online suggestions, which Jolene reads out and which get immediately objected to by Kenton and Lilian: Fluffy; Tickle, at which Lilian sniggers because she thinks that sounds a little rude; Nosy; Nancy; Reginald (she's a girl, as Lilian says); Moggy... Jolene gets distracted by something, and Lilian and Kenton have a laugh about the word 'tickle' until she calls them to order and tells them what she has just read: someone is interested not in naming the kitten but in the old Shires ashtray in the photo. Lilian thinks it might be a collector, and Jolene says he's left his contact details and says he is interested in the item, and any more if they have them. They decide to reply to him.

Emma's phone finally rings, and she rushes to answer it and then at once wants to know what took George so long: she's been waiting since yesterday. He tells her it took a long time to get there and get his stuff sorted, and two of the phones are out of action; she asks if he is on that wing for twenty-one and under, and he says that he is; she asks if he's eaten, and he says yes, not to worry; she asks what it was like and he says just grub. There starts to be a noise in the background as he is talking, and he loses track; what was he saying? Emma asks him to tell her anything: what's it like, is he sharing a cell? He says it's ... er... Mum, if he gets cut off just say Hi to everyone for him, OK? Especially Keira and Poppy. Anxiously, she says she will, but why is he going to get cut off? He says 'just in case', and she asks if everything is all right, is he managing? He says yeah, but it got a bit tough because something must have kicked off somewhere on the wing and they had them locked down for hours. Emma is sorry, and he says 'yeah' again. She asks if there is anything he needs, anything he wants, and he says no; Dad put some money in his account so tell him thanks. Of course she will: he's been messaging all day to see when George would call, and Ed, and everyone. Shouting in the background makes her ask 'what the hell was that?' He starts to say something, and the phone is cut off. Emma says his name, twice, and starts to sob.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 13th October, 2024

Emma hurts Neil, and Elizabeth and Clarrie dole out advice.

Characters: Neil, Emma, Ed, Elizabeth, Will, Clarrie
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

In an attempt to be kind to Emma, Neil has brought round a casserole for her family supper, and Emma bluntly tells him he needn't have bothered because it's sorted. She's still there; it's not like she's stopped being a mum or wife just because George is inside dealing with heaven knows what. Staying calm, Neil tells her they just thought it would help, and Emma says 'thank you'. He asks if she knows what happened when the phone was cut off, because Susan has been worrying ever since, and she tells him that she and Ed got onto them afterwards and found out there were two inmates fighting right by the phone; one of them ended up in hospital. She thinks George is all right, but the wing's been locked down since it happened so no phone calls: they're supposed to just wait until he can call again. Neil tries to comfort her by saying George will be OK, and she snaps at him that they don't know that, they don't know anything till they can speak to him, and he says it's all so new and will get easier once she's visited, and she'll get used to it and ... Emma interrupts to tell him he can put the casserole in the fridge for now, so he picks it up and discovers it's leaked in the bag; she tells him to get it over the sink, and then to just leave the drips, which she'll wipe down when she's finished doing the invoicing. Neil asks where Ed is; he and Will have gone to Lower Loxley because they think Elizabeth might be able to give them advice about how to deal with the prison and get information out of them quicker. Neil thinks that's worth a try, then tells her Hannah has been telling him to take some of his leave because if he doesn't take it he'll lose it, so he's got the coming week off and thought he could help out at Little Grange if she needs. She ignores the offer to tell him that what she wishes is that she'd never let him and Susan talk her into going to the police. She wishes she'd just been strong enough to protect George and just lie. Neil, shocked, tells her she doesn't mean that; she tells him that he and Mum wouldn't let it go. People lie all the time, and she should have just hung on that little bit longer. She can't protect him now he's in there; she's useless. Neil expostulates that it was the right thing to do, but she comes back with 'not for George', which leads Neil to start saying that if he hadn't confessed, Alice... Emma tells him she thinks he should go now. He is silenced, and she tells him she is asking him to leave, please. Crushed, he says 'OK, love' and goes.

The two men are indeed at Lower Loxley Hall, where Elizabeth offers tea or coffee and then feels she needs to tell them that she doesn't understand or condone what George did. Will says maybe they should just go, and she at once protests that she really didn't mean to make them feel worse than they probably do [in which case why say what she did, calculated to make them feel worse? Chris] but that's how she feels about it. Ed thanks her for being honest and points out that George is being punished for what he did, which she admits and then asks how he is. When Will says he wishes they knew; she doesn't understand, so Ed explains his wing has been on lockdown since he went in, and Will tells her about his being cut off from the phone with Emma. Elizabeth realises that Emma must be beside herself. They tell her they have been trying to find out what's happening and if George is OK and getting the bare minimum of information, and, when Elizabeth asks if George was hurt, Ed says 'not as far as we know'. Elizabeth then tells them of having only been able to find out what was happening to Freddie by visiting him, saying she does appreciate what they're going through.

Since he is now at a loose end, Neil offers to help Clarrie to carry her shopping, telling her he is there because he came to see Emma. He ruefully tells Clarrie he half expected her to send him off with a flea in his ear, but she laughingly replies she could do with all the help she can get, and offers him a cuppa when she's put the frozen stuff into the freezer. He has to sit down for a minute, gasping rather, and she asks him if he is OK; he says he just took a funny turn and felt a bit wobbly on his feet. He's sure it's because he didn't have breakfast, in spite of Susan saying he should; Clarrie immediately tells him is the most important meal of the day.

Elizabeth is now doing what she is very good at: talking about someone else's current problems or troubles in terms of her own past experience. Her words of wisdom amount to telling Ed and Will that the prison system is not going to alter for them, or George's benefit [with the unspoken message that if it wouldn't for her and Freddie, it won't for anyone of lesser importance. Chris]. Ed asks if she is saying there is nothing they can do, and she says that in respect of the prison, no, she doesn't think there is. The main thing they can do is be there for George and make sure he has whatever he needs to get through the sentence. Will thinks this means she is saying it's all hopeless, and she tells him the best advice she can give them is to live their lives as normally as they can. Will clearly doesn't think much of this: 'with George inside?' he asks. She confirms that's the thing they can't change, but they can keep him connected to his life so he knows what he's coming back to; she adds that George is lucky to have three parents, when Freddie had one and she felt like she wasn't always up to it, and gosh she missed Nigel. The truth is she wasn't coping very well and couldn't keep the negative thoughts at bay, whereas they have each other to keep things afloat. Prison is an ugly thing – it's supposed to be, because it's punishment – but if the three of them can help George get through it without it infiltrating everything in his life, they'll have done right by him. Will thanks her, and then doesn't stop when she tries to call him back, saying that he'd better collect Poppy, who is at the rare breeds. Ed thanks her again for her time, and she suggests he might keep an eye on Will: he doesn't have Nic to discuss things with the way Ed has Emma, so will needs to be careful this doesn't swallow him whole.

When questioned by Clarrie, Neil admits to having had funny turns a couple of times. Clarrie strongly suggests that he should see a doctor and asks if Susan knows; Neil asserts that of course she does, that's why she wanted him to have breakfast. He denies skipping breakfast exactly, he was just in a rush. He's sure it's nothing medical. Clarrie is very dubious about that, so he tries another tack and suggests it's the stress they are all under. Clarrie is resigned: what's done is done and thinking about it now won't change it. Neil agrees up to a point, but George is in prison, Em and Chris aren't speaking to each other, Susan hates going in to the shop, Neil has to take leave next week and he thought he could use it to help out but no-one needs his help nor wants it. Clarrie sympathises: it's all a big mess. Since she's been back from Rosie's she's just been trying to keep everything ticking over and she's barely had a chance to think about what's happened, but one thing has always been true: doing the right thing can never be wrong. Neil mutters darkly that Emma said she regrets forcing George to come clean, and Clarrie remarks that of course she does, now he's inside, it's hard for anyone to take, but what she says and what she really thinks aren't the same thing. Neil questions this, but Clarrie seems sure, and says that otherwise she wouldn't have called the police no matter what Neil and Susan said. Anyway, she says, drawing the conversation back round to what concerns her just at the moment, if Neil is off work it's the perfect chance to go to the doctor's and see what these dizzy spells are about. Neil promises not to skip breakfast again. He gulps down his tea and says he'd best be off, and Clarrie asks if he's in a rush or something; when he says no, she suddenly comes out with another thing that's on her mind: Eddie is a stubborn old so-and-so and he shouldn't have spoken to Susan the way he did. He only wanted to protect George, and when he couldn't he lashed out, the fool. Neil is not to rush on account of he might walk in; he's to sit and finish his tea.

Will is waiting at the car and Ed comes to tell him Poppy says she'll be there in five; Will thanks Ed and complains that Poppy isn't listening to him these days. She's been going on and on about Apple Day as well; Ed starts to laugh, then explains that she did ask him to talk to Will about it, only Will's not meant to know that she asked him. Will is mildly exasperated: her teacher mentions it at school, and Ed knows what Eddie's like when you get him started on anything like that. Ed thinks it's nice, Poppy wanting them to do Apple Day, and she's talking abut the whole thing being in one of their fields, with crafting stalls and all sorts. Will reckons that's not happening, and, when Ed asks why not, he sighs and explains that no-one's going to come to a Grundy Apple Day; to Ed's 'says who' he replies 'everyone' and then wonders if he has to answer that; Ed argues that Poppy and Keira's mates could come and there's a few people in the village that would like it: they could pull it off if everyone mucked in. Will is still dubious, so Ed tells him Elizabeth's right and they have to start trying to get back to normal, for the kids and the family and for George. Will asks how Apple Day helps George, and Ed argues that while he's away they need some sort of normal, with other folks, to make sure that when he's out people are willing to give him a second chance. They won't do that by hiding away and playing the victim. Will reluctantly concedes that he's right, which surprises and delights Ed. He agrees that Apple Day it is then.

Another helper has arrived to see Clarrie, who tells Emma she doesn't have to help and she's to sit down while Emma and the girls carry the washing upstairs for her. Clarrie mentions she saw Neil, who said he'd been to see Emma; Emma says shortly that he was dropping off a casserole, she doesn't know why. Everyone's acting as if she doesn't know what she's doing. Clarrie tells her it's because they care, and Emma apologises: she knows she's being difficult. She knew it was all coming, but she never knew it was going to be this hard. Clarrie exclaims 'come here, love' and tells her it will be OK, she'll get through this.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 14th October, 2024

Kirsty may have to sell her Beechwood house; Helen administers tea without anaesthetic.

Characters: Helen, Neil, Kirsty, Clarrie, Pat
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Pat is waiting outside in the car to do Jack's school run for Helen, who is a bit put-about because Jack has mislaid his PE kit but answers the door to Neil; he was looking for Pat or Tony. He's heard they are very busy with no George and all; Helen describes it as 'all hands to the pump' and asks how Emma is. Neil says she is handling things as best she can, and then offers his services at Bridge Farm, since he has a week off work; Helen tells him he can't work on his week off and should get some rest, but he tells her he'll rest when he's dead, 'as they say'. He used to make time to look after Martha, but that's no longer needed, and he's run out of things to keep him busy, so it would actually be doing him a favour to be able to get his hands dirty at Bridge Farm. Helen is just waiting for Kirsty, whom she has arranged to see before work, but she can tell Neil there are some potatoes that need crating and shifting to the packing shed; Neil sets off eagerly to do that, coinciding with Kirsty on the doorstep. Helen offers her tea and toasted bagels, and she and Kirsty express sympathy for what the Grundys and Carters are going through at the moment. When asked how she is Kirsty says that's not exactly great news either; as Helen knows, she's been looking into getting a mortgage to see if she could buy Willow Farm: it's looking impossible. She'd have to get another job, one that pays better and has more stability, and even then she's not sure she'd get enough to buy out Roy and Hayley [or as ordinary people might say, buy the house from them. Chris.] Helen asks if that includes the rent from Beechwood, and Kirsty tells her a chunk of that goes towards that mortgage, and what's left plus what she gets from rewilding isn't enough to buy Willow Farm. Helen reminds her she has her house to fall back on: if she sells it, Helen and the boys can find somewhere else. Or if she wants to move back they could all muddle through together for a bit. Kirsty thanks her and adds that she just hates being in her early forties and finance still being an issue. Helen tells her it's not just her, and Kirsty says she knows, and honestly she just couldn't see herself back at Beechwood, not to live there. She can just about manage to be there now Helen and the boys have settled in, because it feels like their place now. Though Helen says it's just a house, bricks and mortar, Kirsty tells her firmly that the idea of living there is just not an option for her and she doesn't think it ever will be.

Clarrie encounters Neil and wonders what he is doing and whether he think carting taters about will help with his funny turns. He shushes her, and, when she asks if he's got an appointment with a GP, tells her he hasn't: appointments are like gold dust these days. She disagrees with his assertion that he hasn't got time, saying that he's got a whole week. If he doesn't make good use of it Clarrie threatens she will be speaking to Susan, even though he implores her not to make a fuss and promises he'll get round to it. She seems set to go on, but he escapes because at that moment Pat calls Clarrie to say that she has been told Henry has a school project about roast dinners with a difference, and is looking into goat meat. Pat has eaten goat meat more than once, but never cooked it: has Clarrie? Clarrie hasn't, and rather expects Pat would be the expert, since she has a herd of goats, but Pat explains those are for milking, not their meat. It's funny how grandchildren expect you to know everything. Clarrie agrees, and takes the chance to tell Pat about Poppy's Apple Day plans; Pat asks what they're doing, which Clarrie tells her they haven't planned yet, and then, when Clarrie is doubtful about whether anyone will show up, says that if she can get away she'd love to come, and bring Jack and Henry and the twins along. Clarrie is delighted. Pat then wonders what Neil is doing there, and Clarrie not only tells her that he's helping, but clearly intends to divulge his personal information to Pat – on the understanding that Pat mustn't tell Neil she said anything.

Kirsty is feeling bad for dumping her troubles on Helen so early in the morning, though Helen is happy to forgive her: Roy has decided to stay with Lexi and sell up, and so the dominoes start falling. Kirsty says ruefully that Helen and the boys seem so settled, and she doesn't want to have to sell, but Helen seems determined to convince her that she should. Kirsty thanks her, then has to get off, as does Helen, who is due at the dairy.

Although she is armed with the information from Clarrie, Pat expresses surprise when Neil brings the shop the beets left over after the veg boxes have been filled; she suggests he can take a break, an idea he laughs off because he has told Tom he'll do some weeding in the polytunnels when he's done at the shop. Pat cautions him against overdoing it and mentions him having a week off from Berrow; at her insistence he puts the beets down for her to re-stock the shelves in a minute, rather than doing that himself. He then leaves, with her telling him to be sure to take a break, just as Helen arrives and greets him. Helen has just come to check the fridges, which Pat tells her are fine; Pat also tells her Jack did find his PE kit before school. She then wants to know whether Helen asked Neil to help out; when Helen replies that he volunteered, Pat spreads Clarrie's uninformed diagnosis to another person Neil might prefer not to have gossiping about his health, whilst warning Helen to say nothing to Neil because they have to be 'a little sensitive about these matters'. [What does she think is the matter with him? Syphilis? Or just boils on the bum? Chris.]

Helen arrives in the polytunnels just as the rain starts; she has brought Neil over some tea and a sandwich, and stays to drink some tea with him. Neil tells her that having heard her calling Jack at school time took him back to the days when Susan had the kids at home: they used to be a challenge to her, some mornings; Helen is just glad he saw them at Bridge Farm, since their mornings at home are embarrassing. Neil avows that he misses having kids around. Helen mentions Chris and Emma not speaking at the moment, and settles in for a chat with Neil, during which she manages to bring up the possibility of going for counselling to help deal with stress, since she found it very helpful, after Rob died, to talk to someone who was not going to be judgemental and was not going to spread what she said around the village. Neil politely says that is something to consider and asks about the expense; she says it wasn't cheap, and Neil, who seems to assume she is suggesting it for Ed and Emma, thinks he might be able to help them pay for it. Helen tries to suggest she was talking about the stress Neil is under, which startles him and then makes him laugh at her and say he's fine. She asks whether he is, really, and he tells her to listen: he can talk with Susan about anything, and anything he can't say to her he can't say to anyone else. Helen persists: what about those things he can't say to Susan? Neil's reply is that anything like that will work itself out in time. Helen feels that it might be worth thinking about, and it seems that Neil has had enough: he thanks her and says that he will, and thanks her for the tea as well. She tries to expostulate further, but he tells her he'd better get on.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 15th October, 2024

Clarrie does her best and Fallon gets good news.

Characters: Fallon, Chelsea, Natasha, Adam, Clarrie, Kirsty
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Although Fallon is doing fine on her own, Chelsea volunteers to help her pack up some take-out stuff, rather than staying at the tea room counter where she is needed. When Chelsea is told Natasha is coming in to help and bringing Adam with her, she sighs; she doesn't think much of help from Adam. Fallon shuts her up by telling her that Natasha is the boss, not Fallon. When Natasha and Adam do arrive and Adam asks where they want him, Chelsea tries to get rid of him by saying he's just missed the lunchtime rush; Natasha squashes her by saying that in that case it would be good time to get him trained on the coffee machine, and delegates Chelsea to teach him how it works. She and Adam then heap praise on the look of some Halloween cakes Fallon has made for an experiment, decorated with green glitter and spun-sugar cobwebs.

Clarrie is puffing and panting her way towards the tea-room with the cream Fallon is waiting for [and Clarrie has the cheek to suggest Neil puffing means he is unwell! Chris] when Kirsty intercepts her, and they sit together for a minute or two; Kirsty has brought Jack's coat to deliver to Helen: he left it in the car. Clarrie mourns never having time to take the kids round the rewilding, and asks whether they will be doing anything for Halloween; they're not, because according to Kirsty they can't afford to do both that and Christmas and so they are going for Christmas. Kirsty sighs, and Clarrie asks if everything is all right; Kirsty replies yes, and then no. The funding for the rewilding isn't great, and they failed to get a rich patron through Lilian's good offices; Kirsty then realises that Clarrie might not want to hear bad news and asks how the family are doing, and especially Emma. Clarrie thanks her for asking and tells her they're managing; when asked how she is herself, Clarrie is honest and says she doesn't know. The whole family is in need and it's all too much. Kirsty seems genuinely sympathetic, especially when Clarrie tells her she still expects George to come in unexpectedly but he won't be barging in like that now, not for a while. Kirsty wishes there were something she could do, or say, and Clarrie explains she told Helen she could take the cream over, thinking she could see Fallon and see if she's willing to talk to her; Kirsty can't see why she wouldn't, and bets that Fallon knows that whatever George may have done, it wasn't Clarrie's fault. Clarrie doesn't know what Fallon is thinking, but it breaks her heart how close she and Emma were... if ever Emma needed her friends it's now. Suddenly she loses her nerve: would Kirsty take the cream in for her? Kirsty says no, but offers to come with her: she suggests they can go in, and Clarrie will see Fallon and say whatever comes to her. Clarrie is very doubtful, but Kirsty manages to persuade her, and assures her that she will be right there and will buy her some cake and a cuppa afterwards.

Adam is practising using the coffee machine unaided, and has managed to produce a chai latte. Chelsea is horrified: if Natasha knew he was making freebies... He reminds her that it was Natasha who said he should use this time to get to know his way round the coffee machine. Chelsea says smugly that thanks to her, he now does. He mentions things that are more specialised than the lattes and cappuccinos she has taught him how to make, and she dismissively tells him a chai latte is just a latte with the chai mix in the bottom; Adam, with all the enthusiasm of a convert, urges her to try it and extols its gloriousness – so velvety. Chelsea informs him that there are tables to clear as well, though, as he immediately points out, she has cleared the ones that needed it and Natasha doesn't like people being hurried to leave. Chelsea makes exasperated growling noises at him as he tells her that he wants to pick her brains about bunting for the PTA Halloween disco, since she got what they are going to put up in the tea room. He has volunteered to help Ian with it. She tells him she can give him the website, and, when he asks doubtfully whether it is quality stuff, impatiently tells him it's for a bunch of kids at Halloween: what kind of quality is he after? He explains he is worried about sites that are really cheap and then you get stuff that's falling apart or misspelt... Chelsea tells him he is over-thinking it, but he doesn't think so: there is a strict budget and Ian isn't going to be happy if something Adam does embarrasses him. Before they can argue further, Kirsty comes in and both are delighted to see her; Chelsea thinks she knows what Kirsty will want, a latte with two shots, to go, but actually Kirsty will have a tea, sitting in, and make that two because she is waiting for Clarrie. Adam seizes on her as a new person to try his new super-frothy chai latte, and Kirsty agrees, but asks for a pot of tea as well. Adam goes off saying he will bring it over, and Chelsea growls whole-heartedly; when Kirsty asks why, she says with feeling that Adam is doing her head in, which makes Kirsty laugh at her, though she agrees Adam would not be her first thought for the tea room. Chelsea reckons that if he's doing all right it is only thanks to her. Kirsty invites her to tell all as she feels in need of a distraction.

The cream is greeted by Fallon with a loud cry of 'The cream! Hurrah!', which is unfortunately followed by embarrassment when she realises who has brought it. Natasha takes the cream, and Clarrie asks how Fallon is; Natasha, with unexpected tact, says she will leave them to it because she wants to have a chat with Kirsty before she goes. Fallon tells Clarrie she's OK, and asks how Clarrie's sister is; Clarrie says she is much better, then offers to help if there is anything she can do. Then she says she wanted to say something, and Fallon utters a somewhat warning 'Clarrie', then is bewildered when what Clarrie says is nothing to do with George, but instead the words 'apple day'. Clarrie explains about Poppy's determination to have 'a little event', and that she was wondering whether Fallon and Harrison might come along. Fallon prevaricates about planning to take a short holiday next week with Harrison; Clarrie is cast down but just thought she'd ask: Fallon and Harrison deserve a wonderful break. She leaves saying she'll see Fallon some time.

For some reason Natasha seems to want Kirsty and the rewilding team to do something for Halloween, but Kirsty is determined that it is too late to start it now. Natasha is lavish with her praise of the rewilding [oh, is she planning to take that over as well? Chris] and how great it would be if potential funders could see for themselves how wonderful it is. Kirsty explains her plans, and Natasha gushes that it is an amazing project. Kirsty thanks her, then notices that Clarrie has left and expresses surprise about that, since they were going to have tea together. Natasha then sees Fallon, whom she thinks is off to make the delivery.

But no! Fallon has in fact run after Clarrie, having perhaps realised how upset Clarrie is and how difficult she must have found it to speak with Fallon at all; she tells her that she appreciates the invitation and Clarrie coming to see if she was OK. Clarrie says fervently that they do all care about her, and Fallon says that she knows, and also that she knows things aren't going to be easy for all Clarrie's family at the minute. They aren't easy for her and Harrison either. Clarrie knows that, and says she is so sorry, but Fallon tells her not to be: it's not her doing, and Fallon doesn't want her to be upset. Clarrie has enough to worry about and doesn't need to worry about her and Harrison. They really are trying to get away next week, Fallon didn't want Clarrie to think she was making excuses. Clarrie claims she wouldn't think that. Fallon goes on: but maybe even if they weren't going away, coming to the Grundys' apple day would be a bit too much for her right now; she's sorry, but she wants to be honest about that. Clarrie does understand. Fallon says she now really has to go and make the delivery, or Natasha will fire her.

So enthused is he about the tea room that Adam is even prepared to be happy about taking out the rubbish to the bins at the end of the day [all right: who are you, and what have you done with Adam? Chris], and Chelsea is glad not to have been left to it on her own. he tells her that she really does have a knack when it comes to training, even if she'd rather have been doing anything else. When she disclaims and says it was all right he informs her that she was huffing and puffing louder than the machine, and she discloses that she just can't get her head round him in the tea room, so he responds that desperate times require desperate measures though he is sure the family are sorting things out now and she won't be seeing much more of him. She expostulates that he just mastered the coffees, and they laugh together. He then says that he still can't believe that Clarrie expected Fallon to turn up for apple day [and how did he know about that? Fallon has been out doing the delivery, and surely Clarrie wouldn't have blown her mouth about it? Chris], and Chelsea suggests she was just trying to reach out. Adam says unforgivingly that if Chelsea asks him, it might be better if the Grundys kept their heads down for a while. Chelsea points out that it wasn't the whole family, was it, and he can't blame her because George is her cousin; he appreciates that he can't but complains that George's parents knew but said nothing for a long time. Chelsea remains unconvinced: as far as she's concerned he owned up in the end. Adam's rejoinder is that was after causing his sister and family a mountain of pain they should not have had to endure, which Chelsea agrees is a fair point, but she saw George before the truth came out and he was not in a good place. What he did was the pits, but he was feeling it. Adam gets out of the conversation by saying Fallon's back, and the two hurry back inside as Fallon comes over; Chelsea notices that she is looking excited and wonders why, and she asks if Natasha is still there; when Chelsea says she is inside, Fallon tells them she just had a call: she applied for a unit at the EV charging station and she got it. Adam asks what that means, and she says it means she is about to hand in her notice.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 16th October, 2024

Natasha is baffled, Emma is miserable, while Henry fancies a spot of goat-breeding.

Characters: Will, Ed, Clarrie, Helen, Natasha, Pat, Emma, Henry
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Will and Ed are planning for the Grundy Apple Day event and squabbling about which of them is to meet-and-greet dressed as an apple until Clarrie crossly calls them to order, then asks who will be making this apple costume. Since they had assumed she would, they are caught out, but after some blandishment she says she will see what she can manage.

The crisis meeting at Bridge Farm seems not to have included Helen, who saw Tom and Tony going out as she brought Jack back to the farm after school. She asks Natasha if it is over, and Pat asks if they must call it a crisis meeting; this gets the one-word reply 'yes' from Natasha, who then solicitously offers her more tea. Helen will be making dinner tonight: she wanted to do something for everyone given how hard they've all been working, and now with Fallon leaving... Natasha remarks gloomily that it never stops, does it. Helen then asks if Pat knows where Henry is; Natasha says she still can't get over how calm everyone is about this, and Pat says she doesn't think it's calm so much as resignation – no pun intended. Helen's take is that Mum's got a point; there isn't much they can do if Fallon has chosen to leave. Natasha wonders why they aren't a little ticked off that Emma leaves for Fallon's sake and two seconds later Fallon is handing in her own notice: how does that not leave them up a creek without a paddle? Pat agrees that it's awful timing, and Helen that this entire chapter after the crash has made life difficult for Bridge Farm, although Fallon was a victim in all of this and it wasn't her fault. Natasha continues to sound off about Fallon's stupidity in leaving an established, successful business for a nowhere place like an EV charging station, and Pat reminds her that it's not up and running yet and they don't know what it will be like; Natasha's point is that it will never be more than somewhere people wait while their car charges up. [She hopes. Chris.] It's not like a destination for refreshments or socialising. Helen remarks that there is something about being one's own boss, which Pat says she feels is over-rated at times like this. Natasha grumbles about Fallon having had a say in everything, and having thought she and Fallon had really come to an understanding, and were working well together; she's quite hurt. Helen asks pointedly whether Fallon had a say in the cow-hides; Natasha immediately goes on the attack and inquires if Helen didn't like the cow-hides; Helen herself didn't mind them, but they weren't popular with the staff. Pat tries to jolly Natasha along by saying she doubts it was a decision made by Fallon in haste, and Natasha goes on about the concessions she made to the staff's feelings about her and Tom's unsuccessful changes. Pat escapes to find Henry so he can help her with the goats.

The Apple Day will have a longest peel competition and a kids' craft table, which Emma is being delegated to be in charge of, though Clarrie wonders whether she will be up for Apple Day at all. Did she know they were planning it today? Ed assures her that Emma just had a few things to sort and will be there soon. Sure enough Emma comes in just then and immediately complains about Keira having been allowed to go and help Eddie with the turkeys when she knows she's got homework tonight. When told by Clarrie they are organising for Apple Day [which is on 21st October. Chris] she shows no interest and instead starts to clear up. She tells them she is not expecting anyone to turn up, and they can put her down for whatever they want while she goes to get Keira, who shouldn't have gone out there on a school night.

The goats are being tended by Pat and Henry, who are having a good time. Pat is grateful for Henry's help, especially since they are short-handed now George is no longer around. He says he likes helping on the farm so that's OK. He praises the job George did haymaking at Grange Farm, and Pat agrees that when George puts his mind to it he's a good worker; Henry remarks that he misses him. He asks if that is bad, and Pat assures him that it isn't. Henry confides that he knows everyone hates George, but Henry thinks he's all right, so Pat tells him it can be hard when someone we like makes a mistake, but they can hope everyone comes to forgive him in their own time. Henry muses that lots of people think Pat made a mistake when she wrote the reference for George, and asks if she thinks it was a mistake; she tells him firmly that no, she doesn't, she believes she did the right thing. Helen has told Henry that Adam and Auntie Lilian are still really angry about what George did [and WHY has Helen told him that? Gus]; Pat resignedly reiterates that people forgive others in their own time, and explains that those two love Alice dearly so it's understandable that they are still angry and thought giving him a character reference was the wrong thing to do, but in the end Pat has to answer to her own conscience first. Henry says he thinks she was right: it's not as if what she said stopped George from getting punished, and if it was the truth about what she thinks of him why shouldn't she say it? Pat is cheered by this, and they go on tending the goats in amity.

Natasha is noisily clearing up the plates and mugs from the meeting, and Helen sympathises that Fallon has knocked Natasha sideways, more than the rest of them, but adds there is not much they can do; maybe they should start looking for a new manager. Natasha whinges about Fallon's manifold advantages [don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got till it's gone... Chris] and Helen unhelpfully agrees that Fallon really is good at what she does, though she adds that it seems impossible now, but they can scope other places that they like and talk to some people. Natasha assumes she means they should poach from elsewhere, and Helen laughingly asks why not. Natasha has also worked out that Fallon isn't just leaving, she is starting up another café that could be direct competition and the moment people hear about it they'll follow her there, but Helen thinks they can rely on the Bridge Farm brand: the organic ethos, the meat, the cheese, the veg boxes, and the tea room, it's all part of a brand that people are invested in, and she doesn't think they'll throw it away so easily. A unit at an EV station might be a big hit, but Fallon will have to build her customers from the ground up whereas Bridge Farm just have to make sure they keep theirs. Natasha knows she is right but just wishes they could hang onto Fallon.

Henry is not in favour of a goat eating his shirt when the feeders are full, and then asks Pat whether she would ever sell her goats for meat, or does she love them too much? She treats his question seriously and tells him that dairy goats aren't the meatiest for consumption, but she has known people who have put a meat buck in with some nannies and produced some good-quality goats for meat. She suggests they could give it a try, and Henry thinks that would be fantastic. She makes a deal with him: if he will put the work in, outside of school work obviously, she'll look into getting a buck as soon as they can. Maybe Henry is a farmer after all! He seems to enjoy it, and he's a quick learner. Henry is not too sure about that: it might be too early to say. He has noticed that Pat and Tony are retired and they are still always working. Pat laughs.

Clarrie has pursued Emma, and now calls to her to stop, which she does. Emma then asks Clarrie to send Keira over once they've done with the turkeys, because Keira refuses to listen to a word Emma says. Clarrie tells her William was saying just the same about Poppy the other day, but actually came to tell Emma that if she doesn't want to take part in the Apple Day extravaganza she doesn't have to. Clarrie understands, everyone does, and if she doesn't want them to do it at all Clarrie can have a word with her sons. Poppy will get over it. Emma, however, recognises that Poppy should have her Apple Day, of course she should, though Clarrie asks her to let Clarrie know if it is too much: Clarrie can always ask someone else to help instead. Emma bitterly enquires, like who? She's not being mean, but who does Clarrie really think is going to step up to help them right now? Clarrie suggests Chelsea, and is sure Brad would help. And Pat said she'd come with the grand-kids if she can get away, and Kirsty and Helen might pitch in. Emma seems not to credit this, and Clarrie tells her that despite what's happened there are plenty of people who haven't turned their backs on the Grundys. Emma mutters that she's not so sure, and Clarrie suggests that maybe she needs to let herself off the hook, just allow herself a day off all the pressure and stress, and Emma lashes out: how? How is she meant to do that, when her son is locked up with a bunch of thugs? Clarrie, losing patience slightly, tells her, by doing it for him; do it for George. If he was there he'd be the first one talking about how to promote the day, putting it on his socials, trying to invite lots of girls round... Emma realises that he absolutely would, and Clarrie is right. Clarrie utters a sort of moan that George is gone, and she knows that hurts, but adds that he's not gone for ever, he'll be back.

Finally Natasha is off to her husband and daughters, who are waiting in the yard. Helen assures her they are welcome to stay for the meal, and she apologises for having hung on there thinking out loud. Helen tells her that's not a problem and it's completely understandable, and she tells Helen that she actually has been thinking, and everyone's right: she knows they can get a little excited and maybe go overboard on the need for control – Helen exclaims 'A little?' and Natasha says 'oy', but then goes on. Nothing Fallon wants is contrary to what they want, and Natasha just needs to convince her of that. Helen remarks that she looks like a woman with a plan, and Natasha, clopping out in her high heels, says that's because she just happens to be very good at convincing people.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 17th October, 2024

An unholy alliance is formed, and Adam's new enthusiasm proves short-lived.

Characters: Chelsea, Brad, Zainab, Natasha, Adam, Helen
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

A reunion party running late is keeping Natasha and Chelsea from closing the tea room; they should have been out ten minutes ago. Brad is there trying to work, having gone there to escape Bert's interruptions, and Chelsea first talks at him and then demands his attention as a repayment for the free coffee and cake she gave him. A customer comes in seeking coffee, and Chelsea rudely asks who she is, then tells her they're closed, not serving: the customers are a private party. The chippy customer points out that the sign on the door says they are open, and criticises the fact that Brad is there and clearly not part of the reunion. When Chelsea remains firm that they are closed, the customer turns to wheedling: what difference will one cup of coffee make? Is the machine switched off or something? Brad lands Chelsea in it by saying that it's on, and his sister makes a wicked coffee. Chelsea explains slowly and carefully that they close at six and the reunion party has overstayed their welcome. Natasha now clack-clacks over in her trademark high heels and says they might actually be about to start leaving, the customer tries to speak to her, and Brad's cup of cold coffee goes down the customer's front. Chelsea takes the blame and starts to apologise, Brad rushes to fetch cloths to wipe her with, and Natasha asks if she's a friend of Brad's, to which she replies no, just a customer wanting a cup of coffee: she just wasn't expecting it to be cold and all over her top.

At the shop, Adam has brought beets and potatoes to restock the shelves ready for the morning and Helen has brought over stuff from the dairy for restocking the fridges. Helen remarks that Adam always manages to look as bright at the end of the day as he does in the morning [ie totally dreary at all times. Chris], and he attributes this to being back on the farm as opposed to the tea room. He feels Chelsea may not have thought much of him, and adds that he was wondering if Fallon's exit would mean more juggling around of staff; Helen says she's not sure yet, and Tom and Natasha are thinking things through; it's settling down a bit now with Clarrie back in the dairy, though of course they'll have to find a replacement for Fallon. Adam now moves on to talk about the PTA and how he told Ian he'd help with the school disco for Halloween, and Ian has taken on the training of two new staff and has management chasing him more than he would have liked and is very busy... anyway, Adam has ordered some decorations and the package arrived this morning; he is excited and nervous, and he knows the PTA can be quite judgy, so he wondered if Helen could have a look at them with him. She laughs and agrees.

Brad is bringing more cloths for wiping, and Chelsea brings over an iced coffee with all the toppings to applause and thanks, apologising again about the spillage and asking if the customer could please play it down in front of her boss. The customer tells her not to sweat it and agrees it was an accident, which Brad says is really good of her. Chelsea just can't believe she wanted an iced coffee in this weather, especially after getting Brad's cold coffee all down her, and when Natasha comes to see if there is anything more she can get her it becomes apparent for the first time that she's introduced herself to Brad and Chelsea as Zainab, which Natasha has forgotten; she explains this lapse by saying 'mother of twins, brainfog'. Zainab praises the coffee, and Natasha says that it's good because of the fresh organic milk and ice-cream from this very farm. After some mutual stroking, Natasha takes Chelsea off to clear up and clean down, but insists that Zainab can stay indoors until they leave, because it is cold and she has a wet top. Left alone with Zainab, Brad explains that he was just studying, and she says she will quietly enjoy her drink. This involves slurping it, and commenting on it, and saying how cold it is; Brad takes the hint and gives her his scarf to wear, for which she thanks him flirtatiously.

In another part of the premises Natasha is thanking ''Chelce' for staying on a bit, and says she can come in later tomorrow; she apologises for not having managed to hint the reunion crowd into leaving, and Chelsea says that come six she would just have booted them out; Natasha however thinks that wouldn't be good for business, and they might be repeat customers. Chelsea is preoccupied with watching her brother and Zainab, saying 'it looks like someone's noticed the new girl in town', on which Natasha pours cold water: giving Zainab his scarf was just good manners, in her opinion. Anyhow, they had better get on: she was meant to be collecting the twins five minutes ago. Chelsea offers to do everything so she can go now, and Natasha gratefully accepts her offer.

The conversation at Honeysuckle Cottage has devolved onto Helen's situation if Kirsty sells the house; Adam suggests that there seems no reason Helen should not buy it. This seems not to have occurred to Helen [in spite of the fact that the original agreement was that she would rent it with a view to buying it later, and Tony and Pat told her they would pay the deposit for her. Chris] and she briefly prevaricates on the subject, until Adam brings up the reason she is there: to look at the decorations he has bought for Ian. He produces the package, and Helen recognises the vendor: she has used them herself. We are then treated to Adam showing things to Helen, and Helen enthusing, until she suddenly changes the subject back to the possibility of her buying the Beechwood house from Kirsty: the more she thinks about it the more she likes it. Adam encourages her, then remembers that he wanted to ask her about the characters on the PTA before she leaves; Lottie has told him that some of them can be quite antsy but he bets that Helen knows more. She tells him parenting is a quagmire of judgement, and remembers something she meant to ask: Ian did tell Adam that it's a spooky day, didn't he? Of course, says Adam in his innocence, what else would a Halloween disco be? But that isn't what Helen meant: did Ian mention it is specifically called 'the spooky disco'? Parents and schools can get a bit funny about the use of certain words they don't like. Adam is baffled: words like what? Like Halloween, Helen tells him. Hence 'the spooky disco'. Adam clearly finds this hard to credit.

Brad and Zainab have helped Chelsea with the clear-up, and she thanks them; Zainab tells her not to mention it and that it's nice to hang out with someone young for a change. Zainab then offers a ride, saying she has a spare helmet; Chelsea becomes giggly and girly instantly, asking if she has a scooter, and accepting a lift from her, and Brad says he has his bike anyway. She offers to race him, but he declines, saying maybe next time. Zainab tries to give him back his scarf, but he tells her to keep it on, saying that it looks good on her. He rides off, and Chelsea says she feels bad Zainab taking her home when it is her who owes Zainab, big time; Zainab's reply is that if Chelsea can tell her someone who can thread her eyebrows and give her some decent false eyelashes that will keep for a few weeks they can call it even. Chelsea asks if she is kidding, and tells her to look no further, before realising she hasn't yet told Zainab she studied bew'ee so she can do that as well as hair. There is excited squeaking, and they agree Chelsea will deal with Zainab's facial hair tomorrow after work, but not at Zainab's house because her 'squirt of a little brother' will be there. Chelsea suggests her house, and tells Zainab this is on her, really, when she wouldn't even let her get her top dry-cleaned; Zainab decides Khalil can look after himself for an hour or so [he's fourteen FFS! Chris]. Chelsea admits that she did threading on her course but it does take her a bit of time; Zainab doesn't care: she just needs them done, they're looking like roadkill. Cue more adolescent high-pitched laughter.

On inspection, Helen has discovered the bunting is unusable because it is printed with the H-word, though she is sure Adam will find a use for it somewhere; Adam still doesn't see why they have a problem with the word Halloween [him and almost everyone else. Chris] – what difference does it really make if it's the spooky disco or the scary disco or the pumpkin disco? Helen knows it can get a bit full on, but there are so many different views on all these occasions ... Adam says this is ridiculous, and when Helen suggests they could make some spooky day bunting from scratch he tells her that is so generous of her, but make bunting? He doesn't think so. Helen starts to laugh and says it really wouldn't take that long, but he says no, really, thanks but no thanks; whatever possessed him to help Ian out, he's over it. Helen is reproachful, but he says quite seriously that his desire to volunteer for the PTA is over: Ian can pick up where he left off. From here on in, he's on his own.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 18th October, 2024

Many shrieks and squeals, plus racist, sexist and ageist stereotyping, and an offer it's not impossible to refuse.

Characters: Fallon, Chelsea, Zainab, Brad, Natasha
Credited scriptwriter:
Naylah Ahmed
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

There is an 'agreed early close' at the tea room so that Fallon can get away for a private meeting with Natasha, she doesn't actually know what for ['Meet me at the old oak at midnight. Tell no-one. Bring this note with you.' Chris], though she can guess that it is about her leaving so soon after Emma has and that Natasha and Tom are not happy about it, so she is braced for possible unpleasantness. Chelsea says she is an employee and can do what she wants as long as she's given notice; Fallon knows this, but also knows that people tend to be a bit sore when your plans don't chime in with theirs. Anyway, Chelsea says, she just has to work out her notice and then she's gone. Chelsea goes off to keep her eyelashes-and-eyebrows appointment with Zainab, wishing Fallon good luck.

At 6, The Green Zainab apologises for turning up while Brad is studying, but in fact Bert has gone out to the pub and Brad is tidying away Bert's possessions rather than studying anyway. These include fig rolls; Brad prefers custard creams. When Chelsea gets there she apologises for being late and Brad, saying he will give them some space, makes his escape. Chelsea tells Zainab he's a sweet brother when he wants to be, and that he's just come out of a serious relationship; they broke up by mutual agreement but he needs to get back out there, though he's a bit shy. Zainab feels relationships are over-rated and is planning to stay single for as long as she can. [That should present few difficulties. Gus.]

The meeting with Natasha is at the rewilding picnic spot which, as Fallon remarks, is nicer in summer. Natasha then chats about the place at length until Fallon is forced to ask why Natasha has called her there: are they waiting for anyone else? Me and the family [sic. Chris] have been discussing what to do, says Natasha, but they realised they shouldn't all descend on her; Natasha now realises Fallon might find their meeting a bit unusual. Fallon admits to being a bit confused about why they are there. Natasha then shows her an envelope and says none of them want her to leave; if it were up to Natasha she wouldn't accept her resignation; Fallon laughs and tells her she can't do that, which Natasha does know. At first she was angry about Fallon's new venture, because she thought they had built up trust between them; Fallon [lying in her teeth. Chris] says that they have, and they work really well together: the way they've had the staff's back has been truly great... Natasha cuts her off: can she just finish what she was going to say? When she's finished they can talk about whatever Fallon wants. Without waiting for Fallon to reply she goes back into her prepared speech, though Fallon does interrupt to say that Emma left of her own accord and Fallon won't allow anyone to pin that on her, and can't change her life plans according to what's comfortable for anyone else. Natasha's reply, shorn of intense flattery about Fallon's abilities and work for their business, amounts to asking whether Fallon really wants to give up the tea room for a blank unit in an untested location.

If Chelsea ever goes to Dubai, she has to try the dune buggies, according to Zainab, even though it seems Zainab broke her arm on one. Chelsea will pass: she is saving up for a tattoo, and a trip to Dubai would take her twenty years. Zainab asks what she is having done for a tattoo, and Chelsea tells her she wants the words 'make more noise' on the inside of her arm, wrist to elbow, or maybe around her upper arm; Zainab asks what's stopping her. Chelsea explains she can't make her mind up about the font and the size, and there's the cost. Zainab is musing: make more noise. Isn't that a Pankhurst quote, 'you have to make more noise than anybody else'? Chelsea is chuffed that she knows it. Chelsea recounts having been talkative at school and one of her teachers winking at her when she read that quote out. Zainab is impressed: and here Chelsea is, keeping a job down, running her own mobile beauty business, making it happen. Chelsea isn't so sanguine: she's only just making ends meet and a lot of people would think she's just wasting her time; Zainab says they're wrong: she knows what she wants, and if you know what you want you're sorted, it doesn't matter how long it takes you to get there. She's lucky. Chelsea announces that Zainab's lashes are done, and the two shrilly exclaim over them before Chelsea asks what Zainab wants, and gets the reply 'a job', so she earns some money of her own and doesn't have to ask her mother for any. Fallon tells her she saw a card up in the shop about the local Thai restaurant needing delivery drivers, local meaning two villages away. Zainab thanks her and will check it out. They then have a minor argument about payment: Chelsea says it was to make up for spilling coffee on her, but Zainab says the iced coffee was repayment for that and she wouldn't have let her do it free, and she can use the money to start her tattoo fund. Chelsea realises she's been thinking about it so long it may never happen, and she wishes she could test it out; actually, Zainab informs her, she can. Zainab has a henna tube in her bag and can do her a henna version that will last a week or so, so she can see how it looks. Cue squealing from Chelsea.

Natasha has fetched a hurricane lantern left for them by Kirsty, and Fallon tells her that she doesn't want to discuss her ideas for her new business with anyone. It's really good of Natasha to say nice things about her, but it sounds as if Natasha just wants to pressure her into staying. Natasha quickly tries to deny it, but Fallon feels that she listened to Natasha, and so Natasha should listen to her. As far as Fallon is concerned, she's followed all the procedures and given the notice period required, and she doesn't see what the problem is. Natasha says she isn't saying they're not accepting Fallon's resignation; she's saying they don't want to. They want to do whatever it takes to keep her. Fallon is incredulous, and Natasha hands her an envelope and tells her they've come up with an offer for her, which includes a pay rise, a good solid increase they will revisit in two years. She will have full control of the menu, Natasha and Tom will not be interfering with the menu at all, and they have no qualms about putting her one hundred per cent in charge. They are also considering taken on an extra pair of hands full time, so that eventually Fallon could work more flexible hours to make up for the early starts. They believe this is a good offer and they really want to retain her, but they've had their own challenges at Bridge Farm so the offer has a cut-off. She might want to talk it over with Harrison but they'd need to know soon; why doesn't she take a look and have a think? She will go and call Tom and see if he's got the kids down,

When Brad comes back down he is invited to look at Chelsea's 'tattoo' and thinks it is really good; with a slightly hysterical giggle Chelsea informs him Zainab will be back in a minute and it's clear as day he likes her; she gives an exaggerated and inaccurate high-pitched rendition of what she thinks his behaviour was the previous day because he lent his scarf to Zainab, and makes kissing noises. He is disgusted by this display and reminds her he only just broke up with Mia: does Chelsea really think he is looking for someone else? Zainab, coming back from the loo, instructs Chelsea to take lemon juice and sugar mixed together and dab it on the henna once it's dry, and basically the longer she keeps it on the deeper the colour. She mixes her own henna so it's all natural, not the fake stuff that wears off. She then prepares to leave, but Chelsea wants a cheeky favour: could she do the other style Chelsea was thinking of, but on Brad's arm? Brad doesn't at all want that and tries to plead work to do, but Chelsea begs, and Zainab simply assumes she is doing it; Chelsea squeaks her way off to get them some snacks. Zainab rests Brad's arm on her lap and gets ready to start work on the design.

Fallon has made up her mind, and Natasha realises, and says, that she isn't going to like it. She adds that Fallon doesn't have to answer right away, but Fallon does anyhow, saying that Natasha is right, it's a very generous offer, which gratifies Natasha. Working for Natasha and Tom has been an education, Fallon says with deep sincerity in her voice, and she has learnt that it's good not to have all the responsibility on her shoulders, but it's also reminded her how much she likes being her own boss. Although honestly, how could anyone not be bursting with joy to hear Natasha speak about her work the way she has: Fallon really appreciates that. But after this past year Fallon needs something new, for herself, and she's sorry: sink or swim, she thinks this is what she wants and it feels right; Natasha does understand, doesn't she? Natasha says she does, and Fallon gives her the envelope back. She's thought about it, and she's very sorry, but her resignation still stands.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 20th October, 2024

Stella takes the huff and Ruth placates her, while Alice reaches out to Emma.

Characters: Stella, Brian, Alice, Emma, Ruth
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

First thing, before breakfast, Stella greets Brian and comments he is out early. He has been thinking about their ploughing match on Thursday and suddenly thought about access for spectators needing to be a different entrance from the one for the ploughs. This is easily sorted out in principle using a gap in the hedge, and the two pause to admire two stags at the edge of the woods before going for breakfast. As they walk Stella asks if everything else is sorted for Thursday, and Brian reckons it is: The Bull are doing the catering, David is lending them the prize-giving platform, and Brian has entered Stella in the Ladies' Cup when Ruth put in her entry last week. Stella is not best pleased to hear it: he should have asked her first, and they are a no-till farm and she doesn't plough; she doesn't want to be the poster-girl promoting outdated farming methods. She grudgingly agrees to think about it.

Alice turns up at Little Grange wanting Emma to sign a permission slip for Keira to go on a hack, and invites herself in. Emma apologises for the mess; she has had a slow start. Alice graciously tells her not to apologise and says she loves Sundays without work so she can have a slow start herself, then stays to talk about herself, and about Martha and the joys of snuggles with her when she has her at The Nest, which leads to Emma remembering George was one for snuggles when he was little. Emma signs the form and Alice says she will drop it in to Lilian so she has it before Keira's hack; Emma has forgotten about the hack and feels the need to explain she has a lot on her mind. Alice tells her that's the other reason she's there, and Emma says she understands if Alice wants to tear her to pieces [though why Alice would have the right to walk into Emma's home on a Sunday morning to do so is past belief. Chris] because she deserves anything Alice wants to throw at her, but she has a headache and can't find any painkillers. Alice offers her a paracetamol and Emma thanks her. Alice then starts to gossip about Fallon having handed her notice in and adds that Harrison's gone back to work full time; Clarrie has told Emma, who hasn't spoken to Fallon since the day in court. Alice puts on a concerned voice, and Emma interrupts to say she is so sorry for everything they put her through; Alice at once says she's not looking for an apology. Emma continues to grovel, and Alice continues to be sweet reason personified; Emma tells her she is so angry with George, and disappointed, and misses him so much.

Stella has sought refuge with Ruth, thus forcing her to take a break from wading through orders for Brookfield Christmas beef. Ruth is planning to do a bit of ploughing later in the day, collecting Bert's old tractor from the shed near the Bungalow for the purpose, and Stella tells her about Brian having entered Stella for the match. Ruth had been aware she is to have a local rival, and Stella starts to complain about the entire enterprise and the prospect of being in the local paper apparently advocating something she has been trying to eliminate. She also objects to the 'Ladies' Cup' and claims to have thought she'd slipped through a wormhole to the 1970s, though Brian thinks it's farming's answer to feminism. Ruth suggests they should embrace it, citing her having read about a couple of plough-women from the fifties, Jean Burns and Margaret Hawke, in an article she pulls up from the net. Stella thinks it is amazing: 'and not a hooped skirt or a ladies' bonnet in sight', she says wonderingly. Ruth suggests they could go to the match dressed as these pioneering women: vintage clothes on their vintage tractors. Stella thinks that would give women in farming a proper historical platform and is not a bad idea.

We are now to understand that Alice has applied her own twelve-step-plan training to Emma's situation and advised her to take one day at a time, and also not to catastrophise; Emma is impressed by the idea advocated by Alice of waking up and managing one day as best as she can [sic. Chris] but says she is trying to do that, which makes Alice realise she's being preachy. Emma isn't bothered by that, it's just that when she tries focussing on the moment something negative creeps in, like shame or guilt or dread, and then she snaps at Ed or Keira and ends up feeling worse. Alice, in her chosen role of comforter , assures Emma that she herself can't use George as an excuse to be angry: that's a slippery slope she knows too well and it's not going to help Martha; she's still got a long way to go to make things OK with her child. Her talk of snuggling, well, to be honest it's been a while since Martha did that and she prefers to sleep at Chris's. Emma muses about what a mess George has made for everyone, and Alice honestly says it wasn't his fault she started drinking again; Emma just knows he made it worse, then apologises for reminding Alice about her troubles after the crash. Alice changes the subject from Alice and asks if Emma will visit George; yes, she's waiting for his visiting request and hoping she might feel better once she's seen him. Alice suggests writing to him; she found it helpful when Chris wrote to her in rehab. She could write and tell him all about Apple Day; yeah, says Emma, how the Grundys are putting on an event in the village no-one will attend... I'm coming, Alice tells her; she promised Keira, who is running a stall. Emma didn't know that, and Alice laughingly says she'll have to come along and find out what her daughter's doing.

The plan now is that Ruth is to plough as Jean Burns and Stella as Margaret Hawke, and they pretend to a rivalry it seems they don't really feel. Ruth suggests Stella needs a no-till soap box to preach to all the ploughing families of Borsetshire.

Brian and Alice are waiting for lunch at The Bull while Kate entertains Martha in the garden; after Brian has talked about it being difficult for Neil and Susan, Alice tells him about having gone to see Emma, which Brian feels was unnecessary: she needs to focus on her own recovery and not worry about Emma, but Alice feels reaching out to the Grundys might be part of her recovery. She can't live inside her head; it's not good for her. When Brian remarks that Emma has her own family, Alice points out that she kind of is family, because like it or not Keira and George are Alice's niece and nephew. She understands what it's like for Emma to be separated from her child and to feel it's her fault. Brian admires her in a way: she's a better woman than he'll ever be. They both laugh at the phrase.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 21st October, 2024

Apple Cobblers all round, with added saccharine.

Characters: Lottie, Ian, Alice, Chris, Clarrie, Emma
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Lottie has come to visit Ian prior to Ian's first PTA meeting as chair [he joined the PTA on or just after 16th September and has become its chair by 21st October. Chris]; while their children play in the other room, he is about to email everyone the agenda before he logs on. He has a vision of being efficient and just keeping people moving through the agenda point by point; Lottie (refrains from hysterical peals of laughter and just) says it sounds like a plan. She warns him however not to be surprised if people want to have their say, because they always do. He thinks it will be fine as long as they are done by four thirty when Adam gets home: Adam is still annoyed about the 'spooky night' as opposed to Halloween. Lottie's phone notifies her that she has got the agenda. Ian says that he's learnt the key to managing these committees is to be a firm leader who's confident in delegating. Lottie says she likes his confidence, and he assures her that once you've run a busy high-end kitchen you can handle anything. [When did he ever run a busy high-end kitchen? It would be fun if he lost his temper at the PTA the way he habitually used to at Grey Gables, though. Chris.] Lottie seems doubtful, then tells him there have been some rumblings among the parents and grandparents, not on the group chat where he would see it but in private messages flying around all day and she heard bits and pieces at drop-off. She tells him not to worry too much: most parents are on his side. He demands to know about this, because he doesn't want to be ambushed at this meeting, and she tells him there's a schism over sweets and hot-dogs. Ian is incredulous: he thought the problem was over using the word Halloween; haven't all the schisms been solved? Lottie thinks his optimism is very sweet.

In order to keep Chris in the loop, Alice has come to tell him she is taking Martha to the Apple Day at Grange Farm later; his distaste for the idea is marked. When Alice tells him Keira will be there and he must have noticed she is Martha's absolute favourite person, he mutters that Keira can't help having sociopaths for parents, against which Alice protests. Chris wants to know what Alice's sudden obsession with the Grundys is about, it's like she can't help scratching at a scab. She asks what he means, so he explains: going over there. She knows they're not good for her but she can't leave them alone [when since the trial, apart from seeing Emma once? I don't remember it being habitual. Chris]; she protests that she is making an effort to move on for Martha's sake. That makes no sense to Chris: for Martha's sake, he'd steer clear of the Grundys and anything they do. Alice says that's a shame, because she was hoping he'd join them after he's finished at work. When he says no thank you, she wheedles at him like a child begging for an ice-cream, but Chris thinks the whole event is madness and can't think why they are doing it, and wants to know why he would go. She says she has told him why: she, he and Martha live here, they work here, the children are close and there is no option to walk away from them. She wants them to put the past behind them, or at least try. He asks if Emma will be there, and Alice doesn't know but tells him Emma is about as keen on a family event as he is; he asks if Alice has spoken to Emma and she tells him she dropped in to speak to Emma yesterday. [So hang on, if he didn't even know about that occasion, when exactly has he observed Alice going over to the Grundys'? Chris.] Scratching that scab, again, he tells her, to her indignation. Alice then tells him Emma could do with a bit of brotherly love right now: she's finding it really hard to cope. He says he isn't a monster and doesn't like hearing that, but neither he nor Alice should be expected to make Emma feel better after what she did. Alice tells him they don't need to forgive and forget but they do need to keep going, and Chris utters a Neil-style grunt. Alice continues telling him to come with them to Apple Day.

Clarrie has come to tell Emma everything in the field is set up ready for Apple Day, and in spite of Emma showing no interest goes on talking about it until Emma point-blank tells her she is busy and will come out when she's done. Clarrie is not prepared to accept that and goes on trying to put pressure (in the cotton-wool way that she has) on Emma, who eventually repeats that she will finish up and be out soon. Clarrie persists, and then asks if she can help with whatever it is Emma is doing. Emma tells he she appreciates her concern, but no, she cannot help. It was hard enough thinking what to write, but now she's lost her train of thought. Clarrie, never one to avoid the obvious, asks if she is writing to George, and Emma says she was, before Clarrie came in talking about cider and sausages and all the things you can't have when you're locked up miles away from friends and family. Rather than apologising, Clarrie tells Emma reproachfully that she knows it feels frivolous, but enjoying a couple of hours with Edward and Keira does not mean she's forgotten about George. They have to fill the days somehow.

In the aftermath of the PTA meeting Ian is laughing in a bewildered way and asking what that was about; it was an utter shambles. Lottie on the other hand would say it was a pretty standard descent into online committee chaos. Ian has never been more happy for a meeting to cut off in mid sentence after forty minutes of fractious sniping, and Lottie points out the disco's in two days, so what did he expect? Ian decides to cover the rest of the agenda in a no-nonsense email and people with opinions can get in touch with him; Lottie doubts that they will [because she's a raving optimist. Chris] because much of the indignation is only in the moment: they will have moved on to cooking and their children, and all that righteous rage about how to police the sweets will be a distant memory. Ian fears that it's bound to resurface, but in Lottie's experience it won't: a school disco is so manic it will bring the adults together on the day. All the factions will pull together; Lottie calls it all the chemistry of survival. She asks if he is going to stick or quit, based on that meeting, and he says he will most definitely stick: in the end it's about the kids, not the parents. Lottie says it's that worrying naive streak again; he tells her to watch him direct proceedings on Wednesday with the skill and grace of a master conductor, and she tells him she can't wait but must now get back to her daughter. She is expecting to meet Pip at Grange Farm for apple based food and crafts: why don't he and Xander join them? Ian says that's a no-go for him; has she not clocked that the village, like the PTA, is split down the middle, those who are speaking to the Grundys and those who are not, and Adam is firmly on the side of 'not'.

Alice greets Emma cheerfully and informs her that Chris is there [since Emma's sight impediment means she can't see him standing next to Alice. Chris] then asks what the stall Emma has been left in charge with is for. Chris says he thinks they should come back later when Keira's there, but Alice ignores him, and under instruction peels an apple and throws the peel over her left shoulder, discovering from the shape it lands in that her true love begins or will begin with C. Alice is embarrassed and goes to take marshmallows to Clarrie and Martha, leaving Chris with Emma and instructions to guard her bag. Emma muses that it's C for Chris and C for Carter [C for various other things too, Emma love. Gus] and Chris asks if she's had a go herself, which she hasn't since she doubts the peel would fall in an E for Ed and doesn't fancy being forced to marry someone awful. It might be an N for Nathan Booth. In the spirit of this Chris suggests it could be worse worse, D for Derek Fletcher, and they both laugh.

Alice is now packing apple sauce into jars for Clarrie, who says it's good of her to help out and thanks her for getting the marshmallows. She is grateful to Alice and not just for her help: it means a lot to have her around; Alice disclaims. Hammering the obvious home with a large mallet, Clarrie tells her that there she is, the one who had the most to lose, being kind to the Grundys; Alice sententiously questions who knows how any of them will get through all this and adds that she is determined not to make things worse than they already are. She's back in Ambridge with Martha and she's sober, she says [how much worse can things get, I ask? Chris] and she'll take that for now. Clarrie says that Martha is on great form tonight, and Alice says it's been lovely to see her joining in, running over chatting and giggling, though she still cries whenever Chris drops her off with Alice for the day. Clarrie comments sympathetically that that's hard, and Alice responds that she has to keep saying to herself that it's bound to take time. Martha doesn't totally trust her yet and doesn't believe she's there to stay; Clarrie says she's sure she does, but Alice knows better: why should she after Alice shook the child's faith in her so badly? It's awful seeing the effect that's had on her and on their relationship as mum and daughter, but Alice knows she has to be patient. Clarrie tells her she'll get there, and Martha thinks the world of her, for which Alice thanks her before asking how Clarrie thinks Em's doing; Clarrie tells her that if she had told her last week that Emma would be doing apple-printing with Chris, Clarrie would have thought Alice had lost her reason, but there they are, sharing the paint and they might even have been laughing. Alice really hopes the afternoon has broken the ice a bit, and Clarrie (who knows about this subject rather well) says that feuds between siblings is [sic. Chris] heart-breaking. She was worried sick [sick. Gus] this would drive a wedge between our Edward and William, all the secrets and lies... Alice saw them helping Eddie earlier and they seemed friendly enough, and Clarrie thinks that now George has started his sentence they've realised they have to be on the same side: they both have daughters who need them and they both love George. The Grundys all just want this nightmare to be over.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 22nd October, 2024

Ben lands in clover and George calls out – to Brad.

Characters: Ben, Ruth, George, Brad, Jazzer
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Ben wants Ruth to take a break in her ploughing practice so she can give him her full attention. She does stop, then talks with him about the ploughing match on Thursday, and Bert's old tractor which he offers to help wash and polish for the big day, and about Fallon and Chelsea coming over to help with the vintage ploughwoman look, like Jean Burns and Margaret Hawke in the photo. Stella has pulled out of the actual competition, but is still going to wear the costume and give talks about women at harvest through the ages, finishing up with why Home Farm invested in the drill. [That would be 'because Stella took advantage of Jennifer's death to bulldoze getting it past Adam, after Brian had refused to buy the idea', as I recall. Chris.] The Ladies' Cup may not be Ruth's even so: another farm, from Loxley Norton, has entered someone. Having talked about Ruth for a while, Ruth suggests they could go back to the farm for a cuppa and Ben finally mentions what he came out to say: he's got some news and it's really good.

Breathlessly, George thanks Brad for accepting a call from him and asks how he is, and Brad says fine and asks how George is. It was not inconvenient for him to take the call, because he is studying at home today. He asks George if there is any news, and with a flash of his old spirit George says he is in prison, not on holiday, though he does then apologise. Brad says he heard about the fight [which is more then either the listeners or Ed and Emma did really. Chris] and asks if George is OK; yes, George is fine, he can handle it. Brad says he couldn't, and George fully agrees: no, mate, you really couldn't. Brad asks what happened, and George replies there are literally guards standing beside him and a line of lads behind him; he can't talk about it. Brad's concern is whether George is OK; George takes a breath, then asks what Brad has been watching, like, films, TV, whatever. Brad is surprised but answers readily enough the he and Chelsea watched Star Wars at the weekend; George says that he misses choosing what to watch; he has to watch whatever's on, there's no streaming. Brad speaks about Chelsea wanting to watch them in one order and him in another, and George asks if Chelsea is still annoying; Yes, Brad tells him, she is. Then Brad tells George it's great to talk to him but Brad should probably go, and George at once starts a new subject: how is Brad's course? How's it going? Brad clearly doesn't think George can be interested, but George doesn't want Brad to hang up and asks more questions. When Brad asks if the call isn't costing him a fortune George agrees it is, but says that's OK.

Ruth is over the moon about Ben's 'fantastic' news, which he has already told to David, whom he passed in the yard – David gave him a hug and then told him he could start tackling his overdraft. Ben is really looking forward to it and will be working with Dr Malik a lot: it's going to be so different from The Laurels or the placement at the hospital. Ruth is sorting it out in he mind: he will be a Healthcare Assistant, right? What will he be doing? Ben tells her that at the interview they talked about him doing health checks for new patients, taking blood, giving vaccinations, all the routine stuff; Ruth thinks it sounds excellent. And Dad is right, Ben remarks: he could do with the cash. Ruth wants to be sure it won't be too much, managing a job like that along with his uni work: it will be more demanding than lots of part-time jobs he could do. It will be much more more interesting, according to Ben, and brilliant experience, and it is only part time. When Ruth goes on being anxious Ben 'remembers' that he forgot to tell Dad that Dr Malik says David qualifies for a flu jab: she wanted to know if he'd be happy to be one of Ben's first patients. Ruth is not sure: it's not that he won't trust Ben, but Ben had probably better ask him in person but should be prepared for him not to be as excited as he should be by the honour of being Ben's first patient.

George is still on the phone to Brad, asking after Poppy and Keira and even the guinea-pig, but is then told time is up and he has to go. He asks if he can ring again and ,when Brad says 'sure', tells him he's a good mate. There's lads in there, he says, just putting one across, it's like, keep your head down and your mouth shut. Brad expresses total incomprehension; George says he has to go, and does. As Brad is ringing off Jazzer comes in with a bit of off-cut wood he has got cheaply, and which is the perfect size for a shelf above the cooker as wanted by Tracy. Brad feels the need to lie about who was on the phone, saying that he was talking to Mia; Jazzer is unwantedly sympathetic about him being embarrassed to be still holding a torch for her, something which Brad denies. He then has to invent a conversation for Jazzer's benefit, about Clarrie buying Poppy sweets in the shop; Jazzer says in his day it was all the music scene, and getting on the wrong side of the law.

Ben had no idea David hated injections, and Ruth attributes this ignorance to David having pretended they were no big deal when his children were small. Ruth was always the one who had to take them to the dentist or for their boosters. She gives examples of injections he's had to have, such as a tetanus one, and Ben muses that he has coped in the past. He feels the jab is better than the flu, and Ruth says he is welcome to try and persuade David of that, but suggests he might do better to talk up how much it would mean to Ben to have David as his first patient. [Don't do it to David! the last thing a trypanophobe needs is someone jabbing at them clumsily, and that's what a first time injector is likely to do. Chris.] Ben now looks for, and does not find, Jill's apple cake, and has to make do with a custard cream to celebrate his new job. Ruth thinks she could go to Borchester with Ben to get him some shirts for work, but he feels that at twenty-two he can get his own shirts and anyway, when will she have time?

Jazzer is in full flight with his drill, putting up the shelf, when Brad comes to talk with him; he just got an email from the prison, a visiting request from George. He wants Brad to come and see him on Friday. Jazzer establishes Brad has got lectures on Friday, and strongly advises him to use that as his excuse: he doesn't think Brad needs George as a friend and George being inside is a perfect reason to put a bit of distance between them, and Tracy feels the same. George is not exactly a model of good behaviour, and this is not the first time he's been happy to throw someone else under the bus to save his own skin, including Brad: don't forget the Grey Gables Broken Bench fiasco. Brad, rather forlornly, asks if Jazzer thinks Mum would say no, and Jazzer suggests he can ask her, but he can't see her being thrilled. He adds that visiting jail is no picnic, and when Brad asks how he would know, admits he might have had a few wayward mates in his time. Brad remarks that he still went to see them, even though even though they were... what did Jazzer call them? Wayward. Jazzer allows that he did, because, well, a mate's a mate. Jazzer had his limits, but mostly they were just young lads who'd done something stupid like the rest of us, but didn't get away with it. Brad says he is pretty sure George is sorry for what he did; rather grimly, Jazzer asks 'you think?' Yes, Brad does, and George is his mate. Jazzer asks if he is saying he wants to go, and Brad acknowledges that he doesn't exactly want to, but he thinks he should. Jazzer says he should talk to his mum about it, but in the end only he can decide.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 23rd October, 2024

Ian misses the disco he has 'organised'; Emma gets no invitation to visit George.

Characters: Ian, Lottie, Fallon, Emma, Alice, Brad
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The 'Spooky Day' disco is in need of its organiser when Lottie rings Ian and discovers he is stuck at work, interviewing a pastry chef who was very late for his appointment. Ian has a lot of things they need: the float and the stuff from the cash and carry, for instance. Ian has arranged for Adam to collect it all from him and deliver it to the school; Adam won't be helping with the disco, just doing the delivery and then going straight back to work. Lottie is not pleased at being left in charge like this. He wishes her good luck and rings off.

As she comes out of the shop Emma encounters Fallon and asks if she has a minute. She has heard Fallon handed in her notice at the tea room and wonders if she has finished already, but no, Fallon has a few weeks to go; she is just buying emergency replacement peppermint tea and heading back. Emma asks what's next, and Fallon cheerfully tells her about having been offered a unit at the EV charging station, adding that she is keeping it as quiet as she can until it's all signed and sealed. Emma breathlessly congratulates her and says Harrison must be so pleased for her. Fallon then asks what Emma is up to, and Emma says she is keeping busy: she's on her way to The Stables, where Keira plans to encourage Martha to have a proper ride on Champion; Emma is meeting Alice there. Fallon is suitably surprised, and goes to close the tea room. Emma is then hailed by Brad, who asks her for a lift to the prison on Friday to visit George. She is taken aback because Brad has had an email from the prison about visiting, and she hasn't yet; she asks Brad if there were contact details so she can ring directly about it. Brad has to go because Tracy is giving him a lift to Grey Gables, but promises to message her with the phone number if he finds one.

Lottie has taken refuge in a store cupboard in order to ring Ian and find out where he is now; the disco is in full, noisy swing; he is just walking to his car after a wasted interview with a terrible candidate. Lottie gives him a potted account of how dire everything is, but his response is to ask if everyone is having fun, to which she responds that Adam is, which surprises Ian more than somewhat: Lottie tells Ian that whatever Adam had planned went out of the window when he was handed the ketchup by Luka's mum and ended up on Station Hot Dog for the rest of the disco. A loud noise from outside the cupboard causes Lottie to say she had better get back to it because parents are starting to turn up to collect their kids; she tells Ian she has a sweeping brush there with his name on it.

Alice can't believe how relaxed Martha is with Keira; she tells Emma that before Keira arrived Martha was refusing to ride Champion for Alice and Joanne, but within seconds of Keira's arrival Martha was chattering on about how she loves the pony and is a grown-up girl who rides horses. Alice doesn't care if Martha never rides competitively but she would love her to get the joy from riding that Alice has over the years. Emma loves the way Keira lights up when she sees the horses. She is actually quite worried about her daughter at the moment; this surprises Alice, who thought she seemed all right at Apple Day when they had a long chat about Sunday's hack. Emma says she's going off to school every morning without a fuss, but when she gets home she's always sullen or angry and shuts herself in her room, even wanting to eat in there. Alice thinks that unsurprising, with everything Keira has had going on; Emma agrees, and is trying to stay calm when Keira snaps at her [thus bringing up another child without boundaries, to be like George? Chris] but isn't doing very well. Emma can't work out whether Keira drops the mask at home because she can, or if she really hates Emma for ringing the police. Alice is sure Keira doesn't hate Emma [though on what grounds she has this certainty who can say. Chris] but if it is complicated for the two of them it must feel impossible for a teenager. Emma remarks that if she hears anyone else say that time heals, she thinks she's going to scream. The mums watch their children for a bit, and Emma feels she has to avoid saying George's name; Alice tries to lighten the mood by telling her it was good to see her and Chris talking the other evening, and does indeed succeed in cheering Emma up a little. Emma inquires about Alice and Chris and whether they might ever be more than friends again, and Alice speaks of his faith in her through everything and how it counts for a lot. Emma laughs and tells her that'll be it, it's only because Chris is so 'loyal' that she looks at him that way. Alice says too much has happened to even go there, plus Hannah has the hots for him; Emma thinks Hannah is not right for Chris. As the two women are about to walk over to their children Emma gets a message on her phone, but it's only chainsaw marketing; she tells Alice she is expecting to hear from the prison because Brad got an email yesterday and hers hasn't arrived yet. Then another message arrives, but she is too nervous to open it.

Fallon serves Ian and Lottie at The Bull, where she is behind the bar for an hour or so while Kenton goes to the cash and carry. Ian tells Lottie that Fallon manages the tea room, and in keeping with her policy of 'keeping it as quiet as she can until it's all signed and sealed' Fallon tells them she will be moving on and has something exciting up her sleeve. Ian says that Adam hinted at something but wasn't sure if it was common knowledge yet, but in spite of this prompting and Lottie asking for more information, Fallon intends to say no more until she has all her ducks in a row [sic. Chris] but enthuses about being energised and ready for change. As Fallon goes to serve other customers Ian enjoys a good chuckle about Lottie not being energised after the disco, and the two of them raise their glasses of wine to 'surviving'. When Alice comes in after dropping Martha at Chris's flat, Ian offers to introduce her to Lottie, but it seems they have already met. Lottie offers to get her a drink so she can join them as they celebrate surviving a school disco, though she says Ian doesn't deserve it for rocking up after it was all over, though he did zoom round the hall with a broom. The one who ought to be there is Adam, who stood in for him, but he was keen to go home and watch children's TV with Xander and Lottie's child Maddie: his actual words were 'I'm never going out again'. Amid the hilarity caused by this wit, Alice asks Fallon for an elderflower tonic with ice, and asks how Harrison is getting on with going back full-time; it seems he has been getting home really late because of catching up with paperwork.

Having worked herself up to it, Emma has gone round to tell Brad that the prison emailed her to tell her George hasn't asked for her to visit. She wonders why George invited Brad and not her: she knows he was mad at her at first but she thought they'd got past that, and he sent a message to say he'd be OK, like he wasn't holding it against her, but now what is she supposed to think, that he'd rather see Brad than his own mum? Brad says he's sorry, but she calms down enough to say she should not be taking this out on him; she's glad Brad is going to see George and she will still drive him there on Friday. He tells her there's no need, she tells him she'd like to, and he explains that Jazzer says he will take him; he's off work on Friday and supposed to be finishing up some jobs in the house, but says he's happy to have an excuse to escape. Deflated, Emma says OK then, and asks if Brad has everything he'll need, for Friday like ID; Brad has his provisional driving licence. She asks if he knows what to expect, and he says not really, but... She was looking at the guide book preparing herself, and she can send him the link. He thanks her, and she says she'd better get off. As she is about to go he tells her that he will let her know how George is, after, when he gets back; she says thanks, and tells him that would be good. She adds that it's nice George wants to see him: he must really miss Brad.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 24th October, 2024

It is the day of the ploughing match and of David's flu jab.

Characters: Ruth, Stella, Brian, David, Neil, Dr Malik
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

As Stella sets up the display board at the ploughing match, Ruth plies her with coffee and a cheese scone, and they discuss their talk on the history of women and the plough. Ruth hopes David will be there to see her ploughing, and takes the opportunity to tell Stella that Ben has started work at the surgery. Stella mentions there will be another woman entering for the Ladies' Cup, and that Brian is still grumpy about Stella pulling out of it. He comes up at that moment and greets her and Ruth perfectly cheerfully, but, when she goads him about her display, reminds her that the farmers there have taken the afternoon off to celebrate traditional skills, not to get a lecture on the environment. He then ignores her somewhat sniffy reply in order to tell the pair that he has to say they look fabulous and just like the photos of the plough women on the display boards. They are flattered, and Ruth says the costumes, hair and hats are all thanks to Fallon and Chelsea. Kenton then arrives with the catering and Brian goes to superintend operations, which he describes as 'giving him a hand'; if they need him, he'll be setting up the hog-roast beside the beer tent. Stella laughs that he is in his element, then tells Ruth she has something for her which she and Rosie made: it's a corn dolly, which Ruth describes as lovely and terrifying, asking whether it is meant to look like her. Stella says they did their best, then offers to stuff some corn in Ruth's ears and up her nose to improve the likeness, but Ruth says it's fine and she will treasure her. Stella informs her that she's supposed to plough the dolly into the first furrow for good luck, but Ruth isn't going to sacrifice her little corn doppelgänger.

David and Neil meet in the waiting room at the doctors' surgery, and Neil manages not to tell David why he is there, instead spreading the gossip about Helen planning to buy the Beechwood house from Kirsty. David clearly wants to talk and take his mind off the coming ordeal by needle, and Neil, who is up next, humours him by talking about the ploughing match, which is where he will be going as soon as he has finished seeing the doctor; he says that it may be right not to plough, for the sake of the soil, but there is something almost primaeval about turning the earth. David then says if it was up to him he wouldn't be there, but Ben persuaded him to get a flu jab since apparently he's ancient enough to qualify. Neil tells him that at least that's quick and easy; David says it's a bit embarrassing because Ben will be in the room and David is not a fan of needles. To avoid the subject he pulls the talk back round to ploughing; Neil is borrowing a Little Grey tractor (a Ferguson) and David thinks the afternoon will be 'a trip down memory lane'. Neil says that all he has to do it get through the appointment and then he can get on with the ploughing match, and David asks how he is feeling about it. Neil, assuming about the appointment, says he feels awkward and uncomfortable, and would rather not be here but Susan insisted; however, David was talking about the competition. Neil says he knows what he's doing on a tractor – but talking to a doctor about, well, how he's been struggling since everything came out about George, that he's not a fan of. David is sorry he's struggling, and Neil thanks him and says he's sure he'll be fine, it's just at the minute things seem quite hopeless; David assures him that he is doing the right thing getting help, decries thinking one can carry on without it and be strong, and bemoans not having noticed sooner that Ben needed some help, but is cut off by Dr Malik calling Mr Carter in to her surgery.

After establishing that Neil's blood pressure is slightly elevated, which she thinks could be attributed to stress given what Neil has told her about the last few weeks, Dr Malik tells Neil he did the right thing coming to see her and tells him it's important to find ways to bring those stress levels down; she prescribes plenty of rest and also a balanced diet, activities he enjoys, and regular exercise. She also suggests sharing how he is feeling with family or friends: reaching out for help and support builds strong relationships and communities. Neil maintains that he doesn't like causing a fuss but will try everything she's suggested. She also wants him to monitor his blood pressure at home for a few weeks and then make another appointment so she can check in on how he's doing. She also gives him some numbers to call if he finds himself struggling.

Stella and Ruth give their talk about the history of women and the plough, dressed as Jan Burns and Margaret Hawke [is there going to be a programme about those two shortly? Chris], and are congratulated by Brian as well as doing a bit of self-congratulation. Stella then goes to get some cider, and Ruth to check her Massey before the match.

David and Ben are driving over to Home Farm for the match, talking about Ben's first day at work, which seems to have gone well; when Ruth rings to check where they are, David pulls over even though they have nearly got there.

After the match is over, Stella gives a talk about combining [no pun intended. Chris] old and new methods of farming, before handing over to Brian to make the awards. Ruth is the overall winner, and Neil, having come second, has been awarded the runners-up cup, traditionally called the Ladies' Cup. Neil gracefully accepts the cup and makes a speech in which he is complimentary to Ruth.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 25th October, 2024

George is finding prison tough; Brad keeps this truth from Emma.

Characters: Jazzer, Brad, Emma, Fallon, Rhea, George
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah Hehir
Director:
Peter Leslie Wild
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Jazzer suggests that he and Brad could pull into the services for a coffee, since they have made good time on the road to the prison, but Brad would rather just get there. Jazzer tries to keep him occupied with gossip, such as Neil coming second in the ploughing match, and suggests he could tell George that his grandpa is now the proud holder of the 2024 Ladies' Cup, but Brad feels that bringing up Susan or Neil might upset George. He is clearly nervous, and Jazzer tells him he doesn't have to do it: they can turn off at the next junction and make up some excuse to tell George. Brad knows George would be gutted if Brad didn't turn up, and Jazzer encourages him to realise it's a good thing he is doing.

Emma has tripped and dropped her shopping, including eggs, all but one of which are broken. Fallon tries to help her and then, when Emma starts to cry, to console her. Emma explains Brad's got a visit with George and she hasn't, and all she can think about is him going and her still in Ambridge. She gives a list of small woes caused by her inability to concentrate, like a cut finger and a stubbed toe; Fallon tries to jolly her a bit by saying in that case she should definitely leave the tree surgery to Ed today because she doesn't fancy Emma's chances with a chainsaw, which does at least make Emma laugh and agree. Fallon then has to get off, if Emma is sure she's all right; Emma claims to be, and that she just needs to get home and hide from the world till she hears back from Brad.

While the visitors to the prison are waiting to be called in, a woman asks Brad if he is OK and if it is his first time visiting, and gets into conversation with him, kindly reassuring him that, in spite of having come before, she too is nervous about the pat-down search and feels obscurely guilty while it is being done. She introduces herself as 'Rhea' and he reciprocates with 'Brad'. She tells him her boyfriend Elliott is in there, and Brad sympathises about that being hard, especially when she reveals they have a baby, born after Elliott got banged up, whom he has only met during family sessions; she's twelve weeks old. Because Brad doesn't realise he shouldn't, he asks what her boyfriend did; unoffended, she says he's in for pushing a security guard when the guy accused him of stealing sweets and he hadn't. He lost his cool, and got banged up for assault. [There definitely must have been more to it than that. Pushing someone, even angrily, is not a thing you get sent to prison for. Chris.] She seems a bit hacked off with Elliott for being stupid and taking on a security guard, thus subjecting her to prison visiting as just another prisoner's baby-mum, but they've been together since they were thirteen (which impresses Brad). Elliott has A-levels and was applying for uni, and she is sticking by him this time. She can't be doing this again. though: she can't hang about forever waiting for him to grow up. He might be Tia's dad but that doesn't mean she has to give him a million chances. Before she can enlarge on the subject more, a door opens and it is time for them to go in.

George is very glad to see Brad, having been afraid he might have bottled it. Brad manages to present a calm front and say that of course he's there, and ask how George is doing, adding he doesn't look great, then apologising for saying that. George says it's all right, Brad could tell him he looked like a washed-out maggot and George would still be pleased to see him. He asks after the family, and seems surprised to be told they are missing him. When told Emma has put some money into his account he says that's nice, because he'll be able to buy some shower gel in the canteen and then, when it's been nicked, buy some more. Brad is puzzled: how do people get away with nicking things in prison, when they are being watched 24/7? George darkly tells him he'd be surprised what people get away with in here. Then it all comes out: there's a gang that runs the wing, and since George's photos of Keira and Poppy were stolen off his cell wall and he thought it must be his cell-mate [which is not what he'd call him, but never mind. Chris] joking around, but when it wasn't and he'd made himself an enemy with the accusation, he made matters worse by telling an officer about it. The officer found the photos for George, albeit scribbled on, but now everyone knows George turned grass in his first week and they won't forget that. Yesterday someone pissed on his bed, and, though he washed the sheets as well as he could, they still stink and they're damp and he can't get new ones till Tuesday. He hardly slept last night, which probably not a bad idea since his cellmate now hates him.

Having started to worry about Emma earlier, Fallon has gone round to see her and find out how she is. Emma feels a bit silly now, and reassures Fallon that she's OK, and will be much better when she hears back from Brad. She's writing George a letter, and has been since Monday; she just wants him too know she's thinking about him. He'll probably just laugh at it. Fallon bets he'll be relieved there are people who still care about him.

It looks like it's time to go, and George thanks Brad for coming and asks if he'll come again; Brad readily promises he will. He knows Emma, Will and Ed are desperate to see George and think he's mad at them; George denies being mad, but just doesn't want them to see him like this. He asks Brad to tell them he's fine and he'll be out before they know it. Brad protests that George isn't fine, and George wants to know how them knowing that would help anyone. Like he said, the best thing Brad can do for him is keep his business going; Brad promises to do his best, but also has work and uni to do. George knows it's a big ask, but he needs something waiting for him when he gets out. Brad has to go, and his last words are 'Be careful'; George mutters 'keep my head down, right' to his departing back.

In the car park Rhea greets him again, and asks how it was; he tells he it was pretty awful, though not why. She half-wishes she hadn't come today. Last time Elliot seemed pretty sorted, but today he just started crying. Being in prison can be a roller coaster, and she may never get used to it.

When he and Jazzer get back Brad is starving and Jazzer assures him they don't have to wait for Tracy to get home, then asks if he is better now: he was shaking when he got to the car. As Jazzer is reassuring him that he doesn't have to go every time George sends a request, Emma pulls up outside; Brad doesn't know what to say to her, and Jazzer advises what he said to Jazzer: George is going to the gym and catching up on Clarrie's favourite soaps. Brad is worried he won't be able to keep up being positive, and then reveals to Jazzer that George is not doing that great at all, but begs Jazzer not to tell Emma because George really doesn't want her to worry. He then goes to the door and invites Emma in, and she sees they are eating and says she won't keep them: she just wanted to know how Brad got on. How's George? Brad, lying nobly, says 'good'; he's working out, loves the gym, and said to thank her for the money. He's going to buy shower gel with it, and crisps. Brad told George Emma was writing to him, and he's looking forward to that. Emma, relieved, says it sounds like he's doing all right and settling in; she just can't wait to see him for herself. Anyway, their fish and chips will be getting cold. She thanks Brad, and Jazzer too for driving him to the prison; it means more than they know to have people still supporting George. She'd better get off, and not to worry about seeing her out. Enjoy their tea! She'll see them. Bye. They dutifully say 'bye' too, and as the door bangs shut behind her Brad moans that he feels bad about lying to her: does Jazzer think he did the right thing? Jazzer most definitely does.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 27th October, 2024

Brad and the kitten are both out of luck.

Characters: Justin, Lilian, Brad, Jolene, Kenton, Pat
Credited scriptwriter:
Daniel Thurman
Director:
Marina Caldarone
Editor: Jeremy Howe

On the way to The Bull Lilian has dropped in to The Stables to collect some gloves she forgot, leaving Justin in the car for fifteen minutes. He is fed up about this, since he booked a table for lunch at The Bull and they are now going to be late. They have a manufactured row, interrupted by Brad trying to sell Lilian on the idea of aerial photographs of The Stables. She realises this is for George's benefit and is extremely brusque and unpleasant to Brad, telling him that he is wasting his time coming there. Justin, who wants his lunch, encourages Brad to leave, though in a less abrasive style, and, after Brad has retreated, says in an amused voice that his 'sweetest' certainly did tell Brad.

Another couple constantly at odds, Jolene and Kenton, are disagreeing about Harrison going back to work full time; Jolene thinks it right that he should step up just as Fallon did for him when he decided to go part time, while Kenton argues that he is not ready to go back to work: apparently Kenton keeps telling Jolene this. (Indeed, he says it twice in under a minute on this occasion.) He doesn't think the pressure is going to do either of them any good in the long run. What has clearly been being argued for a while is dropped when Lilian and Justin come in. Lilian wants to chat about having been ambushed by Lynda on the way in; Justin, more practical, wants to be assured they haven't run out of beef, and orders sirloin. They might have gone to their table if Lilian had not been distracted by seeing the kitten being Cute, and then by wanting to know if she has a name yet. Kenton tells her they are still accepting submissions for the competition, and she curtly suggests they stop because 'certain punters' are getting quite restless. Jolene asks her to be more specific about which punters but assumes she means Lynda, and Lilian tells her that Lynda says the consensus is it's gone on long enough. Kenton confidentially says they just aren't very inspired by the suggestions, and it's so hard to choose. Lilian suggests picking a name at random, and that way it's done. Justin is glad that's all decided and it's the sirloin for him; what is Lilian having? She protests that they haven't chosen the name yet; she can't see why they shouldn't do it this minute. Justin groans.

The next person approached by Brad is Pat, who is a great deal less unfriendly than her sister-in-law. He sympathises with her about having been both clawed and bitten by Hilda while she was trying to de-flea the animal, and they chat quite cordially, which gives him the courage to bring up his request for help with George's business. Pat however is regretful: the family would never forgive her for doing anything more to help George, and suggests he might try places outside Ambridge. He's been all over, he tells her ruefully. He supposes it's George's reputation or his own rubbish salesmanship. She tries to comfort him, and asks how George is getting on, to which he imprudently replies 'not great', adding that George will be even more upset when he finds out Brad has run his business into the ground. Pat seizes on 'more upset'; Brad tries to recover from his error, but she is not deceived and asks point-blank if George is all right.

The ice-bucket has been put to use as a container for the entries, and Lilian proposes to draw a name out of it [which was not the original idea: they were going to choose a name from among the suggestions, not have a random draw. Chris]. Kenton reminds her that he and Jolene can pick the winner if she wants to go and eat with Justin, but she doesn't want to to and listen to him blaming her because he missed out on the beef. Jolene suggests that Lilian should pick the winner, and for once Kenton agrees with her, so Lilian draws out a name. 'Tortoise'. She is not impressed, thinks it sounds silly, and rejects it utterly, wanting what she calls 'best of three'. Jolene for some reason thinks this is cheating and makes a mockery of the whole thing. They said first one out of the bucket wins. Lilian insists on looking at the other entries, with Kenton, aka Jeremiah, warning her that they are all pretty bad. She draws out 'Spot' from David, then 'To Be Decided, or TBD for short'. Kenton pulls forth 'Bomborina' from Paul, and Jolene, 'Bastet' from Jim. Jolene refuses to allow 'Sheru' because it would be breaking the rules, and they decide on 'Tortoise', as much as anything because it was suggested by Jack Archer and he is eight. Lilian thinks they are making a mistake, but Jolene wants to announce it at lunchtime on Wednesday. It's half term so the kids are off school, and they could have a little do. Lilian the jaundiced thinks she will give it a miss. Jolene, trying to cheer her up a bit, tells her that the collector who was interested in the old Shires ashtray is interested in all possible memorabilia and is coming over tomorrow to view it. Lilian's mood is now such that she is not prepared to be impressed.

Brad has clearly been trying to get Pat to drop the subject, but Pat assures him she doesn't mind if Brad wants to talk to someone. He asks her, not for the first time, to forget it, but she persists: he has seen George? He admits that he did, on Friday. She asks how George was, and instead of insisting that George was fine, Brad tells her he can't say, which leads to the obvious question, 'why not?' Brad temporises: he just wants to help his business so he's got something to come back to. Pat, foiled, tries another tack: she appreciates that Brad is trying to be loyal, but sometimes you might have to break someone's confidence in order to help them. Brad reiterates that he can't; Pat suggests that talking to someone impartial might give him a different perspective on things, but he thanks her and says 'no'. He's all George has got at the minute. Pat protests that he does have his family; has Brad talked to the Grundys? Brad says unhappily that he told them what George told him to tell them. Pat asks uneasily if George won't talk to his family: when Brad tells her George hasn't even asked them to visit, she hopes he's not trying to cope all by himself. Brad doesn't know. She suggests Brad might be able to change George's mind if he is finding things difficult, and Brad begs her not to tell anyone that George is, and when she says anxiously that George shouldn't be pushing his family away, not when they might offer him some comfort, Brad doubts that George will listen to him. Brad remaining obdurate, Pat is left hoping that he will encourage George to see his parents. Brad is saved by his phone.

Or maybe not, because it is Justin, making an appointment to see him at noon tomorrow at the EV charging station, with a secret little proposition which he refuses to disclose.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 28th October, 2024

Why do these couples stay in their relationships?

Characters: Jolene, Wesley, Kenton, Lilian, Justin, Brad
Credited scriptwriter:
Daniel Thurman
Director:
Marina Caldarone
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The man who expressed interest in the Shires ashtray and other memorabilia has found the pub all right, as Jolene ascertains by asking if he did. [If he hadn't she would not have been able to say anything to him, would she... Chris] He used a leather-bound atlas to navigate there, never having possessed a satellite navigation system, he tells her prissily. He also calls her 'Mrs Archer', causing her immediately to tell him to call her Jolene, and she then introduces Kenton, who bids him welcome to The Bull. Lilian at once introduces herself as Lilian, Kenton's cousin, but says that she's not stopping. When she clearly wants to know his name, saying 'Mr, um?', he says 'Hutchinson', but that as Jolene has put them all on first name terms, she'd better call him Wesley. He states that he is not Wes: like his parents before him, he's a stickler for full names. Lilian responds approvingly, saying 'good for you, darling' and recounting an occasion on which someone called her Lil when they'd never met her before. He feels that was quite unacceptable. Kenton offers him a drink, but all he wants is water: he has a firm rule of never consuming alcohol prior to six post meridiem, and certainly not on a Monday. Jolene says she wishes she had his discipline, and calls him 'moi darlin'.' She then says all the items are down in the cellar, where they found them, and he says that judging by the photos he saw they could be looking at a very unusual item [good grief. Do prospective buyers really talk up the thing they want to buy? This guy never haggled in his life. Chris] and explains why it is unusual, possibly unique for this design. When she asks if it's worth something, then, he says he wants to refrain from speculation until he has examined the items. Lilian now wants to tag along while he 'inspects the collection', as he puts it, so Kenton is left to mind the bar when Jolene tells Wesley to 'follow me, moi darlin',' and Lilian tags after them to the cellar.

It turns out that what Justin wants is to get Brad to produce a promotional video for the thirty EV charging points, twenty parking spots, accessible toilet facilities, and three flexible retail units. It is to be done quickly because they are opening next year so time is of the essence. He butters Brad up, then asks how much something like that would cost. Brad clearly doesn't know, and falls back on George having prepared costing for various packages. When pressed further Brad says he will be in touch with George later in the week and can ask for exact figures then, and Justin puts on more pressure, implying without actually saying so that Brad needs to answer now or not get the job. Brad is reduced to asking Justin what price he was thinking, which of course Justin is unwilling to say.

Wesley is interested in everything Jolene has shown him, very much so as he puts it himself. He continues to talk up the items he proposes to buy at a price which is not yet agreed. The ashtray is in practically mint condition, and Lilian jokes that it's lucky she didn't find it or she would have put it to practical use; shocked, he asks if she smokes, and she replies that she knows it's a filthy habit, darling, and he says that if that's everything... Jolene tells him there is one last piece, moi darlin', a character jug in the shape of a shire horse. Lilian suggests that since they usually depict heavy-set men, this one must be quite special, perhaps valuable, and when Jolene tries to call her to order says she is just excited, darling. Wesley is grateful to them for showing him everything, and when Jolene starts talking about him making an offer on things he says he would be willing to take the entire collection off their hands; Lilian breaks in to say 'willing? don't you mean fortunate, darling?' and is called to order by Jolene again. The two then have a minor disagreement about which is to be in charge of completing the deal, and Lilian takes herself off in a huff, saying that if Jolene needs her she will be driving to Underwoods and can put her on speaker. Jolene tells Wesley that she supposes they'd better talk valuation, moi darlin', and he politely says that if it's all the same to her, Mrs Archer, he'd rather finalise the deal with her husband. That would be his preference under the circumstances. When she is surprised and asks what he means, he tells her he can explain himself better to Mr Archer. Perhaps she can take over the bar while he and her husband settle on a price. She says just a minute, moi darlin' and he insists that it is either that or the deal is off.

Justin is working on Brad, and seems close to getting him to agree to a very low price for his work on the grounds that if Justin likes the work he will recommend Brad to his wealthy associates, and the company, CellCharge, will do the same. He starts to describe exactly what he wants the shots to be like, but suddenly notices Lilian and hustles Brad away as she comes over from the gate. He then greets Lilian as 'my love' and asks in honeyed tones if she was just passing [which she wasn't. Nobody passes Hollowtree on the way from anywhere to anywhere else, ever, because it is not on the way from anywhere to anywhere else, particularly not if they started at The Bull. Chris], but she is already furious, and stridently demands that he explain exactly what is going on.

Kenton hands over a sales receipt to Wesley, who is much obliged and says it was a pleasure doing business with Kenton, which is more than he can say for his experience downstairs. Kenton is sure no offence was intended, but Wesley says tartly that it was caused, and is offended when Kenton suggests that perhaps there was a mix-up in communications: not on his part, he informs Kenton: he makes a point of being extremely clear and courteous in all his interactions. He picks up his box of purchases and goes out to his car with it. Kenton is left chuckling, and when Jolene asks if Wesley has gone tells her she's all right and the coast is clear. She asks what that was all about and describes Wesley as some sort of dinosaur, only prepared to talk to the man of the house, but Kenton disabuses her of that notion, telling her that he gave a very specific reason for not wanting to deal with her and Lilian: all the 'darling's. He said he felt 'bombarded with unsolicited terms of affection', and as far as he is concerned only his wife calls him darling. Jolene protests that she calls everyone darling, and Kenton replies 'as does Lilian', but Wesley took exception to it: he said it was patronising and impertinent. Jolene had never thought that people might find it patronising; Kenton reassures her that 'people' don't, just Wesley. Doubt having been put into her mind, however, Jolene is now worried: sometimes when Lilian says it Jolene thinks she's talking down to her. Kenton tries to reassures her by promising her that her 'darling's land differently, but she is now worrying that they might be losing trade because of it, which Kenton tells her is daft, and thinks that, since folk can be very sensitive these days, she should stop saying it. Kenton exclaims 'impossible!' but when she asks why, says there isn't a world in which she or Lilian could remove darling from her vocabulary. Insulted, she asserts that she could if she wanted, and though Kenton says she doesn't want to, he then adds that if she's serious, they should make The Bull a 'darling'-free zone. She laughs and says he doesn't think she can do it, does he, and the foundation is laid for yet another round of marital strife, especially when she says 'I mean it, my darling' and he crows with delighted laughter, telling her it's like breathing in and out for her. She promises that is her last one, cross her heart, and he officially bans her henceforth from using the word 'darling'. She says 'fine' in a thoroughly disgruntled voice, and he chortles that he thinks he's going to enjoy this.

The row between Lilian and Justin has less of amusement and more of acrimony about it. She is infuriated that he heard what she had to say yesterday about not employing Brad under any circumstances, and has immediately gone off and struck a deal with him, a deal which benefits George Grundy. Justin tries to deny this, and argues that she is focussing too much on George, at which suggestion she hisses angrily. He explains that it is Brad he is dealing with and Brad is the one who is leading on it, which does not appease Lilian in the slightest; nor does hims saying that he got Brad down to a very good price persuade her: she doesn't give a fig about the price, it's the principle. All he's trying to do, he claims, is get some benefit out of what George did; when that too cuts no ice with her, he changes his story yet again and claims it is about payback, and when she asks for who says for George, giving back a fraction of what the job should cost. Lilian sees through that easily enough, and says that he's getting a good deal, with the implication 'so what'; Justin's 'so what' appears to be that George is getting a bad one. George Grundy took advantage of Alice's situation, Justin says, so why shouldn't they take advantage of his? [But hang on: he was arguing that it was about Brad and not George at all, about four sentences earlier. Chris.] Lilian crossly wonders if he really thinks she is going to fall for his spin, and he says in a voice of high-pitched indignation that he is telling her the truth; look into his eyes.... All Lilian can see, apparently, are two glowing red dots. Justin claims that honestly, he is doing this with the very best of intentions; Lilian scathingly supposes that he wants her to give him the benefit of the doubt. She warns him that if he's not careful he can forget Christmas in the Caribbean, and, when he says surely she wants to go as much as he does, says with serious venom in her voice that she would go alone if necessary.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 29th October, 2024

Nobody actually says 'what could possibly go wrong?' but they probably all think it.

Characters: Kirsty, Rex, Jolene, Kenton, Fallon
Credited scriptwriter:
Daniel Thurman
Director:
Marina Caldarone
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Feeling guilty because she is doing the paperwork while Rex is doing manual labour, Kirsty is weighed down by having said she would help with the coppicing, but Rex sees no need for her to worry, and anyway there are plenty of trees left that need to be thinned. She tells him about Brad coming round touting for work, and Rex is interested in revamping the rewilding website – especially if it is cheap. He wants something interactive, to really capture people's imaginations. As he is expanding on his enthusiasm Kirsty makes a discovery: the lease agreement with BL is near its end! The other leases are fine for now, but she meant to be on top of that one with lots of time to spare. She meant to set a reminder to have a word with Justin, and there is not long before it expires; she explains to Rex that the reason she's been off-balance is that although she has agreed to a sale of the Beechwood house, Helen is taking her time over it. Rex, always a calming influence, suggests talking to Stella about it first, since she is looking after the environmental stuff for BL and ought to give them a sympathetic hearing. Kirsty just hopes so. Rex suggests that she should ring Stella while he follows up with Brad, and maybe the new website and marketing plans will sweeten the deal.

Jolene is now being fined a pound every time she uses the word 'darling', and Kenton is being unpleasantly gloating about it, rattling a jar into which she is expected to put a coin immediately. She grumbles that she agreed to stop using the word, not to paying a fine every time she did, but he claims it increases the incentive; she retorts that it increases his enjoyment, more like. He denies this, but not all that convincingly, and then claims that someone has to hold her to account. She expresses relief that she will be going out for a bit to inspect Fallon's new premises. Kenton asks if Harrison will be there; he wonders how he is doing, especially after the trouble in Felpersham last night. Jolene wonders what sort of people set fire to a youth centre: mindless idiots is all they are. Kenton has tried texting Harrison to find out how he is but got no reply. Jolene suggests he may be up to his ears, but she can ask Fallon. She'll be back in an hour or so. As she is about to go, Kenton demands a pound for her most recent 'darling', and, when she pays up, chortles.

Obviously Jolene will have to use her imagination, as Fallon tells her while explaining what she plans to put where: there will be a café counter, with space behind it for the worktops and appliances; she'll also have room for a bench along one wall and some stool seating in the window. She asks for Jolene's first impressions, and Jolene says she likes it; it's got a nice feel to it. She does wonder if it's a bit smaller than the original plan Fallon showed her, and Fallon admits there was a mix-up with the units and she thought she was getting the one next door which has a bit more space, though this suits her needs. Jolene assumes she is getting it cheaper: no, but she is being let off the first month's rent. Harrison has not yet seen it; he's a bit too busy at work, but Fallon is sure he will love it and he's been really enthusiastic about it from the beginning. It's going to be something different around here, meat and dairy free, adds Fallon; Jolene asks if she is sure that's the way she wants to go, and Fallon asks why not. Jolene's reply is that she was just thinking it might be a bit niche for somewhere like this, and Fallon is offended and makes no secret of it, arguing against anything her mother says thereafter and saying she invited her over to share the excitement, not to pick holes in everything. [Or possibly that she only wanted validation for what she is starting to see as possibly a mistake. Chris.] When Jolene tries to placate her she tells Jolene to forget it, and says she has to get back to the tea room.

Kirsty hails Rex to tell him she has arranged a meeting at the rewilding site tomorrow afternoon to talk about the lease; he exclaims that this is brilliant until she tells him that Stella recommended that they talk directly to Justin, because as a non-executive she only offers guidance to BL and it would need to be voted on. This deflates him. Stella plans to come along to give them support, which Kirsty will appreciate – bearing in mind what a slippery customer Justin can be. Rex continues up-beat: all they are requesting is a renewal of the existing contract; Kirsty continues doom-laden: why didn't BL come to them about it? Rex reckons it was probably an oversight, and Kirsty that they might have other plans for the land. She can't help worrying, because if BL pulls out the whole rewilding thing falls apart. Meanwhile, as Rex firmly tells her, they must be ready to impress tomorrow, and he has now had a good chat with Brad about the website. Brad can't himself do the interactive things wanted by Rex, but he has a contact who might be able to help; and with AI doing things instantly, they should be able to put a test website together pretty quickly. You never know, says the optimistic Rex: Justin might be so dazzled that he offers them more favourable terms. Kirsty tells him not to get carried away, and Rex tells her not to forget that he did a pretty good job schmoozing Justin to get the original deal; he's sure they'll have it in the bag. Kirsty admires his confidence.

Jolene, who is serving customers, is losing patience with Kenton's nonsense; she finds it weird, and rather unfriendly, calling everyone by their first name. Formal is not her style, she pleads, and, when he reminds her they made an agreement and then demands money because she called him 'my darling' in the course of the argument, she tells him she is getting properly fed up with this and is really not in the mood. There's other stuff going on. He realises she is worrying about Fallon, and suggests she should call her daughter now, he doesn't mind [and Jolene is in such low spirits that she doesn't land him one for his condescending permission to ring up her daughter. Gaaaah! Chris] even though, as Jolene points out, it's quite busy for a Tuesday evening. He then calls a departing customer 'mate', and Jolene has finally had enough. If she is not allowed to say 'my darling', why should he get to call anyone 'mate'? He claims this isn't about him, but she wants to know what is the difference; he reminds her that it was not him who put Wesley's nose out of joint. She no longer cares about Wesley's opinion, describing him as 'sad', and is sick of all this nonsense. When he says she is doing so well, she tells him she doesn't want to: the customers are looking at her funny, and they may get used to it but she won't. Anyway, people actually like 'my darling', she informs him, and Wesley can get stuffed. Frankly, she's willing to risk insulting puffed-up nits like him, and she should never have agreed to this stupid challenge in the first place. Grandly, Kenton says 'Then let this be an end of it', just as Fallon comes over and greets them, Jolene calling her 'my darling' with evident satisfaction as well as pleasure. [And what I want to know is, what happened to the many extorted pounds in that jar? Did Jolene get them back? Did Kenton trouser them? Did they get given to the Cat's Home? I think we should have been told. Cross Chris.]

A little later Fallon is telling Kenton and Jolene that they didn't have to come upstairs [and Kenton certainly didn't! none of his beeswax. Chris]; Kenton assures her that Tracy is fine down there, at the same time as Jolene saying she is so glad Fallon stopped by. Fallon has realised that it felt really weird, the way they left things, and Jolene at once says it was her fault: she hadn't meant to come over as critical and just wants the new business to be a triumph for Fallon. She knows Fallon has a lot invested in it, and so, vicariously, has she. Fallon's happiness and success is so important to her! And to me, Kenton adds. Fallon thanks him, then thanks both of them, and assures them 'we' are doing everything they can to make it work. [This is simply not the case, because there are many things 'they' could do and have not, starting with not jacking in her job before the new place can open for business. Chris.] Harrison offering to go back to work full time means that Fallon can really focus on the café. Kenton asks how Harrison is now this is happening for real, and Fallon assures him Harrison is fine and seems to be settling back in all right. Even with all that trouble in Felpersham, Kenton asks. Fallon says airily that they've had issues with gangs for a while, whereupon Kenton at once tells her this was another level, though, and must be a lot of strain for him, and Jolene remarks that starting a new business comes with its own stresses; Kenton tells Jolene that's a bit different from breaking up what sounded like a riot. Fallon asks what they are saying, and Kenton back pedals a little: just that police work can be a little demanding. Fallon slowly asks what this is: has Harrison said something to either of them? Jolene says no, nothing at all, and when asked by name, Kenton lies and says 'no'. Fallon, back in her huff [it's a high-perch purple hough with the wheels picked out in yellow. Chris], says that she suggests they stop looking for conflicts. Jolene stammers that they just want Fallon and Harrison to be OK, and Fallon tells her that for the record, they're fine; in fact things between her and Harrison are better than ever.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 30th October, 2024

Justin is not impressed and Azra is not bamboozled.

Characters: Inspector Norris, Harrison, Khalil, Azra, Justin, Rex, Kirsty, Henry
Credited scriptwriter:
Daniel Thurman
Director:
Marina Caldarone
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The phones at the police station are ringing off the hook with people complaining about the police not managing to prevent the trouble on Monday night; no new leads, but plenty of Felpersham community leaders giving Harrison an earful about failure to communicate with them properly. [He was still stationed in Borchester on 21st February this year, and why people in Felpersham are ringing Borchester rather than the Felpersham police station I have no idea. Chris.] Inspector Norris is sympathetic, but not enough so to make time for him to have a word.

Azra promised Khalil to take him to the kitten-naming ceremony, and is late because of her last patient; Khalil is out of sorts and bored and the choosing of a name will happen in twenty minutes when he wanted to allow three quarters of an hour to get there. She tells him he could always check the mouse-traps for her, which he thinks frivolous; she reminds him they have a mouse. She then says they have plenty of time if they don't run into Lynda; he thought they were friends, and Azra tells him she like Lynda very much but she is so eager to get Azra involved in village life. Khalil suggests telling Lynda she has too much work, and Azra counters by saying Lynda is so well-intentioned that it's hard. Khalil hustles her out of the house to The Bull.

Because he is visiting the rewilding site, Justin has worn smart shoes and is annoyed that they are now muddy; he wants a cloth to clean them with [so that he can get them muddy all over again on the way back down the path, presumably. Chris] and suggests that the path to the office needs tarmacking (which Rex at once tells him is not the look they are going for) or wood-chip at the very least. Rex thanks him for the feedback. He also thinks Rex and Kirsty could have arranged this meeting for elsewhere [or he could easily enough have done! Chris] but Kirsty thought it would be appropriate to meet in the project they were discussing. Rex adds that it's a good chance for Stella to see their set-up, since she hasn't yet. Justin breaks it to them that she has an issue with slug damage on Home Farm's winter crops and won't be coming. He reassures Rex that he is still talking to the decision maker. [200 acres of the rewilding land is leased from Borchester Land. Chris.] Rex and Kirsty then produce not a business plan but a lot of flannel and fine-sounding words, with mention of employing Brad to upgrade the rewilding website; Justin's reaction to this news is a non-committal, slightly questioning 'oh', but the suggestion of Robert Snell as an IT consultant does surprise him. He points out that they have nothing to show him, which causes them to tell him about what they intend to do. He tells them he expected a solid five-year business plan, and, when they say they were up against it, castigates them for forgetting that the lease was expiring. He is then unpleasant about business not operating on trust, and claims that all he's hearing from them is an expectation of charity.

Having failed to get her attention earlier, Harrison is complaining in his Inspector's office about being on the phone or doing admin and not doing police work. She is understanding, and when he implies that she may think he can't handle the job she says at once that no-one is suggesting he can't. They've had some difficulties this year, but he is still there and there is a good reason for that, Sergeant Burns. She completely understand the challenges he's facing but they just have to get on with things to the best of their abilities. He asks rather peevishly if she reckons his best abilities are filling out forms and answering phones, and she tells him bluntly that's what needs doing right now. He tells her he is just trying to understand what's going on, because he feels like he's being doubted; she assures him, not by her he's not. Now if he doesn't mind... He leaves, saying he'll get on with it.

Khalil introduces himself to Henry at The Bull, and they agree that Tortoise (Jack's contribution) is a rubbish name for the kitten. Khalil claims not to be bothered about losing: once he has his own pets he can name them whatever he likes. He wants chickens, just a small flock. Henry thinks chickens will be one cool pet [collectively, I assume. Chris] but Khalil tells him heavily that Mum has said no to any pets, period. He's determined to get her to change her mind, though. Actually, if Henry is up for it he might be able to help.

Kirsty and Rex are making a valiant effort to use generalities to impress Justin, who is not impressed. He remarks that Martyn Gibson always suspected that BL would make a pittance from this investment, and he wasn't wrong. Rex starts to suggest that they aren't a profit-making organisation but exist to look good in BL's portfolio, which goes down like a cup of cold sick with Justin, who points out there are plenty of other green projects they could support. Kirsty tries to explain what she thinks Rex meant, but Justin impatiently interrupts her to suggest they need to get their house in order before they speak with him again, and stomps out instructing them to call him when they are ready to impress. after the door has closed Kirsty says ruefully that could not have gone any worse, and Rex agrees, adding that Justin was in such a foul mood. They had both been hoping they could agree things today, and instead it feels like the whole rewilding thing is hanging in the balance, as Kirsty says; and there is all the house stuff she's having to juggle. Rex tells her she will have to give Helen a push, and Kirsty agrees she will need the money from Beechwood to secure Willow Farm, but at the moment Helen seems wrapped up in organising a leaving do for Fallon. Kirsty just wants to wash her hands of Beechwood and all the bad memories there, and Rex bracingly says that hopefully she will soon be the proud owner of Willow Farm. Kirsty is still not sure how easy it will be for her to get a mortgage, and the way Justin was talking she doesn't know there is any guarantee they've even got jobs any more. Rex agrees he was pretty damning they have one hell of a lot of work to do, and they need to do it PDQ.

Harrison has now been given some of Inspector Norris's time, in her office, and apologises for his manner earlier: they're all under pressure and there's no sense in taking it out on colleagues. Especially those of a senior rank, she points out dryly. She does appreciate that their resources are stretched right now, but is that all that's bothering him? He plays dumb, and she prompts him: is there anything else going on? He doesn't think so, and she tells him she's aware that his return to full-time work has been prompted by his wife starting a new business venture; she was just wondering whether that could be contributing to the pressure. He says somewhat defensively that he doesn't think that's got anything to do with it, and she appears to accept this, saying 'OK' and 'Good'. He adds that it would be stressful to see his wife unhappy and not branching out with her own café, and that's why he's trying his best to support her in every way he can; he'd do anything for her. Inspector Norris advises him to try to factor in his needs too, and he then goes to answer the insistent phone.

Azra asks if Henry's mum is not there, and he says resignedly that Helen is working. Azra says she is so pleased he and Khalil have had a chance to talk, which embarrasses Khalil, and then says she is sure they have a lot in common. [Both male, both about fourteen? Ohhhh... K. Chris.] Henry, prompted by Khalil, asks what she thinks of the kitten's name, and she replies slightly dubiously that she can see the thinking; Henry remarks that anyway, she's a lovely kitten, and Azra concedes that she is very friendly and not nervous of strangers. Henry says that pets in general are great, but she is less confident about that, especially when he goes on to tell her there are loads of benefits to having them, not just the connection to the natural world; she smartly responds that in Ambridge they are surrounded by the natural world. He argues that having a proper pet encourages empathy and a sense of responsibility, appealing to Khalil for confirmation: isn't that right, Khalil? He says yeah, totally, and then 'see, Mum?' Her reply, that she does see, makes it clear by the intonation that she has realised she is being manipulated: she adds accusingly that she assumes Khalil has put Henry up to this, which Khalil instantly denies while Henry says 'uuum', but she then laughs and says it's all right. Henry assures her that he did mean what he said: pets are a really good thing. She tells him that having spent a bit of time with little Tortoise, she might consider trialling a cat. Only as an experiment. She now has to go and return a call, and then she and Khalil will get going. Henry, left with Khalil, asks how he did, and Khalil tells him not bad, he guesses; when told slightly indignantly that she agreed to a trial with a cat and that's massive, Khalil says that what he really wants is chickens. Henry [who has had a lot of practice getting round his own mother. Chris] says that it's all about strategy and he needs to build up to chickens. Khalil doesn't see why: they live in the countryside and a cat's just ... ordinary. Everyone has cats. Henry says he is getting a goat, and Khalil mutters that he is so jealous while Henry continues, saying he still likes cats though. Apart from Hilda. Khalil demands to know who 'Hilda' is, and Henry explains that she is his Granny and Grandad's cat who did belong to his great grandma but now she lives at Bridge Farm. Khalil asks what the matter is with Hilda, and Henry explains she is evil; Khalil accepts this: a devil cat. Great at catching mice, Henry grants her, but a monster. He shows his scratch from having fed her, and when Khalil starts to snigger says indignantly that it's not funny. Khalil says no, but he might have another plan, and this one could be good for them both.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 31st October, 2024

Helen shows her hand, Khalil shows low cunning, and Justin sails too close to the wind.

Characters: Helen, Harrison, Khalil, Henry, Lilian, Justin
Credited scriptwriter:
Daniel Thurman
Director:
Marina Caldarone
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Having hailed Harrison as he enjoys a coffee from the tea room, Helen chats to him about his work and the 'Felpersham Riots'; he says these people make the George Grundys of this world look respectable. She then tells him about Brad visiting George and George refusing to let his family visit him, which Harrison doesn't really understand as a position to take: he describes George as his own worst enemy, though he can't say George's behaviour has ever made sense. A message from Henry gives her a reason to talk about his new friendship with 'Dr Malik's son', but before she can elaborate, Harrison says he needs to get back to the station [being on duty and all? Chris] and she has to be more abrupt than perhaps she had intended as she explains to him that she and Natasha are planning to hold a surprise farewell party for Fallon after her last day at work, tied into bonfire night. They want him to be involved. He feels it is more a work thing, surely, but Helen argues that it is a big step for Fallon and they want him to have a say in the plans. He is clearly unwilling to help.

Khalil has turned up to see Henry; he wonders if Henry has spoken to his granny, because his mum is definitely up for trialling a cat and has been sold on Hilda as a brilliant mouser. According to Henry, Pat said cats don't really like being taken away from their homes and wasn't exactly keen, but he talked her into allowing Hilda to go and frighten off the mice on an overnight visit. Is two days enough? Khalil says it will have to be, and Henry warns him again about her savage nature, which Khalil says is exactly what is needed. Henry then offers to show him round the farm, including the goats, but he thinks perhaps he could meet Hilda first and see what they are letting themselves in for. Henry warns him again that she is pure evil, and they go off to try to find her.

Justin is run to earth by Lilian, who 'happened just to cross paths with Kirsty' and is now on the warpath. She asks ominously if he has anything to say, and, when he asks if this can wait, is afraid it can't. He tries to deflect blame onto Kirsty for whining on to Lilian, but Lilian is not deflected, and is not inclined to accept his request to stay out of it. She says she has a vested interest in the rewilding [she does, indeed, as the Administrator of the Trust Peggy set up to fund it. Chris], and reminds Justin that rewilding Ambridge is something very dear to her mother's heart. He is dismissive, and she is suitably annoyed by this and continues to argue for treating Kirsty better. He is clearly of the opinion that attack is stronger than defence and blames Kirsty and Rex for having brought this on themselves. Lilian tries to talk him into just renewing the lease, since the land is no use to BL, and gradually retreats from righteous wrath to pleading, which just allows him the opportunity to seize the high ground and refer to not wanting 'the Justin Elliott Weed Patch' as a legacy.

The joys of Fallon's leaving event are being expounded by Helen: a Bridge Farm hamper full of her favourite produce and cheese (Harrison agrees this is a nice idea) and Natasha making a speech to celebrate all of Fallon's achievements at the tea room and acknowledge how difficult it's going to be to replace her. Harrison makes one-word agreeable noises as Helen says they don't want Fallon's leaving to feel awkward and it's no secret she's setting up a similar business so there's no need for wariness. Of course, adds Helen airily, there are obviously wrinkles to iron out. 'Wrinkles?' asks Harrison. Helen doesn't think Fallon and Natasha discussed signature bakes [I do hope Fallon will tell Natasha she is welcome to retain copyright in the kale croissants, cauliflower eclairs and sprout strudel. Chris]; Harrison doesn't know what she means, so she sweetly mentions whether cakes associated with the tea room are going to pop up at the charging station, but (as he says 'ah') these are things they can settle between them. [Actually, you can't copyright a recipe. As you were, pigs. Chris.] Helen's concern is marking Fallon's last day next week, so if Harrison has any thoughts ... He really doesn't know. Helen remarks that Natasha suggested that as they are doing the speech and presentation at Bonfire Night, and he breaks in to ask in horror whether she means on Jubilee Field; she concurs: once the main display finishes Natasha thought they could do something extra. It seems there is a sort of firework called a 'cake' [There is. Oh, please, please let these idiot amateurs set off a cake and blow somebody's hand off. Pyrotechnic Chris.] and Natasha thinks that Fallon could do the honours. Harrison is not sure Jubilee Field is the best place for this event, not the fireworks but the other stuff they are planning. Couldn't they go somewhere a bit more private? He reckons Fallon might prefer that. Helen thinks it a good idea and starts to ponder; Harrison takes his chance to say he really does have to go. She tells him he'll have to be there, but he won't commit himself: he'll try but can't say for sure because he's up to his eyes in work; he hurries away saying he'll come along if he can.

The two boys have found Hilda, hunting by a wood pile, and Henry boasts that she kills rats as well and mice and birds, and leaves them dead in the yard. Khalil asks what her kill-rate is, and Henry tells him she has always caught something every time Henry has been there; she even brought back a grass-snake once. Khalil describes her as a machine, Henry replies she is possessed, more like, and Khalil says she is definitely his kind of cat. They discuss when she can go to the Maliks, since she had fleas recently and Pat wants to be sure she's rid of them first. As soon as she gives Hilda the all clear, Henry says, she's all theirs. Just remember, she's really temperamental, totally unpredictable: one minute you're giving her a stroke, the next she's sunk her teeth into your arm. Khalil is OK with that, and, when Henry says he might want to warn his mum, says 'why spoil the surprise?' Doesn't Henry get why he's doing this? The mice are not the real reason he wants to borrow Hilda. If Hilda is as bad as Henry says she is, well, at the minute his mum will only consider a cat as a pet, but after experiencing Hilda, she might decide chickens are a safer option. Henry gets him loud and clear.

The row between Lilian and Justin rumbles on its predictable way: eventually, Lilian tells Justin that she is tired of serving as his conscience and can find nothing to admire in him. His spurious efforts to convince her that there is no such thing as altruism, which is all and always to make people feel good about themselves or try to buy credit with others, cause her to feel genuine horror and revulsion; she really doesn't know what to say. She suspects it might be him trying to be witty, but he doesn't seem to realise how repellent she is finding his behaviour. He says wearily that she is over-reacting, but she doesn't think she is. The fact is, last Christmas he promised to be a better person, but it seems to her he's shown his true colours again, first manipulating Brad – Justin splutters indignantly that he offered Brad work and it was Lilian who didn't want to help him with George's business and her who sent him packing, but she simply tells him that the difference is that she doesn't take pleasure in disappointing people and she doesn't take pleasure in cheating them either. Justin tries to shut her up by saying that he can't and won't allow sentimentality to inform his business decisions, and suggests they agree to disagree. Very quietly, she says 'for the rest of our lives', and when he utters a startled 'what?' asks whether he remembers how close she came to ending things with him last year? Sobered, he says that of course he remembers. Well then, she advises he thinks long and hard before dismissing other people's feelings – especially hers.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 1st November, 2024

Brad consults an old lag, and there is a distinct whiff of humbug.

Characters: Ed, Brad, Justin, Martyn, Helen
Credited scriptwriter:
Daniel Thurman
Director:
Marina Caldarone
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Caught outside the shop, Brad greets Ed with embarrassment and says he is late to see a friend, but can't get away without being thanked for having visited George and then asked if George said any more about visiting him. Ed asks what they talked about, and Brad repeats that he really has to go before effectively fleeing, with Ed asking questions to the last.

Driving home after an event, Justin is talking to Martyn Gibson about such things as the clock change; Martyn, however, has had a lot of the complementary 'fizz' and keeps nodding off. Both are rude about the boring presentation and the amateur nature of the people making it. Justin then goes on to speak unfavourably about the meeting with Kirsty and Rex and his serious reservations about them, but finds to his surprise that Martyn is not in tune with him when he says he has half a mind to knock it on the head. He laughs about having been unpleasant to them and says Martyn should have seen their faces, then, when Martyn doesn't join in, asks if he has fallen asleep again. Martyn says contemplatively that there was a time when he might have relished a story like that, but not any more: perhaps they're better off changing the subject.

The person Brad was rushing off to see was Helen, who is glad she has run into him because Henry was set some maths homework over half term and she has failed in her attempt to help him with it; Brad guesses that she wants him to help. She says she will pay him, of course. Nervously, he then asks her about what it is like in prison, if she doesn't mind talking about it. She tells him not to worry, because she knows how horrible those places can be [she was in a mother and baby unit on remand. She really doesn't. Chris]. Brad says he just wanted to ask what someone should do if they're being bullied in there. Who could they go to without being put at more risk? Helen guesses he is talking about George, and he tells her he's not going to lie: George is in trouble.

The music in Justin's car is louder, and Martyn has started to snore. Justin is sarcastically saying there is no problem with Martyn's behaviour and he doesn't mind serving as Martyn's personal car service when the engine cuts out. Martyn wakes, assumes they have arrived and thanks Justin for the ride before starting to get out of the car, but is corrected by Justin; he says it looks like he should have got a taxi home. He's not happy about waiting for breakdown assistance and makes unhelpful, drunken suggestions, which greatly irritate Justin, after which he tells silly stories about breakdowns he has heard of, before saying he is peckish. Justin says there is a bag of humbugs in the glove box, but it seems Lilian has had them: there is an empty packet. Justin finds Martyn increasingly annoying, and Martyn suggests a game of I spy, which, as Justin acerbically tells him, will be difficult since it is pitch black out there. Justin would rather know what he meant by that comment earlier; Martyn can't remember what he said, so Justin reminds him he balked at Justin criticising Kirsty and Rex. Martyn is sorry, but that is simply how he feels: why take so much pleasure in the misfortune of others? Says the man who likes nothing more than an aggressive takeover, remarks Justin. Martyn says not him, and Justin enquires 'since when?' Not any more, says Martyn firmly; he's not kidding, and he'll tell Justin for why.

Helen is now probing for more information, and Brad seems quite glad to get things off his chest. He found out when he saw George last week but spoke to him on the phone on Wednesday and the bullying is getting worse. Helen gives plenty of easy sympathy about it sounding awful, and Brad is determined she must tell nobody what he's said: George told him to tell everyone he was fine. She wants to know what good that will do; when Brad says it will protect George's family, she points out it won't protect George. He's clearly not safe, she points out. Brad says that's why he's worried. Helen is not sure she should really be getting involved, and Brad assures her he's not trying to drag her into it: he just doesn't know what to do. Her advice is that he is going to have to speak to George's family. He must, and tell them everything he's told her. Brad's argument is that George doesn't want to panic them, and Helen asks what about Brad: isn't he panicked? Brad tells her he hasn't forgotten what George has done, but he is still Brad's mate and he's in trouble. Helen is certain Brad can't carry this on his own shoulders, and that's why he's talking to her; Brad concurs. He's been feeling sick as hell all week and can't really focus on anything else. He's never seen George so broken and he's scared something's going to happen to him. Helen argues that if anything happened to George in prison and Brad hadn't said anything to stop it, Brad would never forgive himself. [So when something does happen... Gus.]

Justin wants to know whether Martyn really expects him to believe that the acquisition of his wealth has become a burden, and Martyn assures him it's true and he almost wishes he'd never started. Justin attributes this to Martyn having been drinking, which Martyn denies: there's more to life than stacking up assets and he should never have made that his priority, he asserts, and trampled on people to make money. Justin is clear that Martyn loves the money, not to mention the status, but Martyn merely warns him not to make the same mistakes as him: be alert to the signs. Justin demands what signs, but Martyn just tells him he'll recognise them when he sees them. As Justin starts to get seriously fed up, the car starts again for no reason, and they can go on their way. [I hope he cancels the mechanic. Chris.]

Acting on Helen's advice, Brad finds Ed and tells him about George being bullied and Brad's concerns for him. The details horrify Ed, who wants to know why Brad didn't tell him before but does understand when Brad says he didn't want to cause Emma any more stress. Ed certainly agrees he was right not to go to Emma: she'd only panic. When Brad asks what about him, he says what, knowing George ain't safe? He needs to do something, he asserts. Brad asks what, and Ed says that if George is in danger in there Ed has got to speak to the prison. Brad asks him not to, but how can he not? Brad says these guys rule the wing, and George is really scared about what might happen if they know he is snitching on them. Ed responds that they've got to get George out of there, though he has no idea how. There must be someone who can help.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 3rd November, 2024

Ed and Will share their concerns; Justin and Miranda share a table.

Characters: Will, Ed, Brad, Justin, Sarah Byron MP, Miranda
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Explaining to Will that Brad lied to Emma about George's well-being is a little uphill but Ed perseveres. Will then asks what Emma says about it, and it has to be explained that she doesn't yet know. Will then becomes indignant about George being in the adult estate, which doesn't help with the actual problem; it was unlikely that being truculent with Ed was ever going to be any use. Ed has in fact been trying his best to get help from all sorts of places, most of which didn't reply on a Saturday. The main thing was that he sent a message to their MP Sarah Byron; although he got a message back saying she was holding a surgery at Borchester Library next Saturday, he and Will both think that's too long to have to wait before helping George. However, Ed has found out there's a family Fun Run in Borchester this afternoon, and their MP will be involved. He suggests they should somehow manage to approach her there. Will doesn't think it will work but Ed is going to try it anyway and says it's up to Will whether he bothers or not..

At Grey Gables Brad greets Justin, who is first dismissive of any information Brad gives him about the promotional video he is making for the EV station, then even more scathing about the promotional video Brad is making for the rewilding, and downright sarcastic about Brad's employment. He is then unpleasant and abrasive to Brad because although he has booked a single table for one, the booking has been altered so that the table he wants and had specified in advance already has someone sitting at it, and there is no other table free. He sees that the person sitting at his table is Miranda..

Will doesn't know what the MP looks like, but Ed does, and in spite of Will expressing doubts about whether a young offenders' institution will be any better then the prison George is in at the moment, the two manage to accost her by running alongside her as she runs past them, and she agrees to hear one question; Will asks if she can help his son.

Justin understandably accuses Miranda of having done this on purpose, although she tells him not to be so ridiculous. He is sure she contrived the whole situation just to spite him. [She did not however compel him to walk over to her; he had the choice of simply going away again the moment he saw her. Chris.] She asks why she would do that, and he tells her he has never understood the serpentine workings of her mind. Brad offers to find one of them another table, but Justin refuses: he booked this one. Miranda states that she refuses to give it up. She tells Justin not to take it out on Brad. They bicker a bit more over who has the right to sit at that table, until Brad says that if they are both stopping there, they'll have to share, won't they: logically there's no other option.

Will and Ed have managed to give the MP a potted history of George and his crime, plus their relationships with him and each other, about which she manages not to be utterly, openly confused. She is polite and helpful [even though she has just won an election and doesn't need their votes for a bit. Gosh. Chris] and promises that as far as George is concerned, she'll do what she can. She does warn them not to overestimate what she can achieve, but says she knows who to talk to; she'll ask a few questions and see what she can find out. They are very grateful, and Ed asks anxiously if it will take long; she replies that she's afraid it will take as long as it takes: weeks, perhaps. She also warns them that if she does manage to get George moved, it may be to somewhere much further away, which might make visiting him a lot more difficult.

Extraordinarily, Justin has decided to sit with Miranda, and she proceeds to tell him that in her opinion what he has done to Kirsty and Rex is despicable. He rightly says he hasn't done anything, and she accuses him of having done nothing to help them, which, again rightly, he says he is under no obligation to do. She then tells him that's what they have come to expect from him, heartlessness, and launches into a thorough critique of his character, from which he defends himself vigorously, not helped by Brad interrupting with the standard irrelevant and obtrusive question as to whether everything is all right with their food.

Having spent time on their concern about George, the MP tells Ed and Will she should be getting back to the Fun Run; she asks for their contact details and Ed gives her the card for the tree surgery business. She says she might be needing a bit of tree surgery and might give them a call about that, but declines Will's offer of a special price: professional rates for a professional job is all she'd ask, she tells them as she makes her getaway. After she's gone Will remarks that he doesn't think she will call them about work, she was just being polite; Ed is more concerned about whether she will help George did Will believe that? Yes, Will thinks so; Ed reckons he thinks so too. She was good, didn't make wild promises and knew what she was talking about, they agree between them, and they must take every chance they can put something right for George. Ed won't say anything to Em just yet, though.

Justin has gone on the attack and calls Miranda petty, accusing her of never seeing the bigger picture. What she calls 'ruthlessness' is in fact usually the clear-cut thing to do, he claims, before attacking Rex and Kirsty as having nothing real to offer and expecting to be propped up by others. Miranda in turn goes into a [spurious, because they were not together when they were young. Chris] reminiscence about how when they were young she couldn't keep her eyes off him, he was so dashing; but not just that, she remembers seeing him outside the National Gallery with a consumptive match-girl an old man selling postcards of his own work that were not very good nor in good condition, and watching the two together for three or four minutes, her dashing young man and the old boy with the postcards. Justin bought some and made him laugh. She's never forgotten that. What made him so kind, all those years ago, and where's it gone today? she asks as she stands up to go. He stammers 'Miranda' and she tells him the table is entirely his now. She wishes him well of it. [Shouldn't that be 'and may you never have a day's luck with it'? Chris.] He calls to her to wait, but she is gone.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 4th November, 2024

Not saying the obvious in order to increase 'suspense' is carried to absurd lengths.

Characters: Lilian, Justin, Ed, Emma, Sarah Byron, Megan Miller
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

On the way in to Felpersham to do some shopping, Lilian is still puzzling about Justin's encounter with Miranda at Grey Gables; he says Miranda didn't add her name to Justin's table booking, and he blames Brad. Lilian wonders what they talked about, and Justin doesn't reveal anything much, so she seems to lose interest and tells him to stop thinking about it. The plan for the day is that he is driving her into Felpersham and then coming back to Netherbourne for a meeting [do they really only have one car between them? Chris] about something he refuses to discuss but she knows very well is the BL land used by the rewilders. She wishes he wouldn't pursue this when it's just not worth it: BL hasn't missed that bit of land for five years, and they won't miss it for the next five. He ignores her and instead says that he is then driving back to Felpersham to pick her up, with a snide side-comment about if she still wants him to, when Lilian sees a woman walking along the road with a wheeled suitcase and wants him to stop for her. He refuses, and accelerates away.

Just as Ed is leaving for a job in Hollerton the phone rings, and he asks Emma to answer it. When she does, it's for Ed, but too late: he's gone. It's Sarah Byron, who has a eucalyptus tree which is outgrowing her garden. Emma offers to go out and give her an estimate.

In spite of having driven past the woman by the road when he was on the way to Felpersham, Justin stops to speak to her on the way back. She asks to borrow his phone, which he absolutely refuses, but he does ask where she is going. She says Ambridge, and asks if he might he be going in roughly that direction.

Emma is reasonably certain the eucalyptus should come down, and says so; the potential customer agrees. Emma can provide an estimate by mid-day tomorrow, which Sarah rates as 'brilliant'. Emma has now worked out that this customer is her MP, and apologises for being short on the phone, but assures Sarah it won't make a difference really, of which Sarah is glad, saying she is just a customer: they work for her, and in other ways she works for them. Emma asks how she actually found out about them, and Sarah tells her that Ed and Will approached her at the Fun Run: not the recommended way to get in touch, but she can completely understand why they did it that way.

As Justin drives her to Ambridge the woman he has picked up rattles on about why she was stranded by the road. She was in a cab from Felpersham when she went to get her phone out of her bag so she could ring her daughter to say she was coming [presumably because if she knew sooner, said daughter would have arranged to be in Bratislava or Kentucky to avoid her? Chris] and neither her phone nor her purse was there. When she told the the driver of the cab, he thought she was trying it on and threw her out of the car in the middle of nowhere. Justin feels she should put in a complaint, which she says she is thinking of doing. She tells him she is Megan, he says 'hello, Megan' without offering his own name, and she tells him she is visiting her daughter, then gives him an account of what turns out to be the rewilding business, with Justin cast as a heartless villain who has completely let them down. Justin manages not to reveal who he is, nor that he knows Kirsty; in fact he denies that he knows her or Rex. [And that's not going to be exposed as a lie in a matter of about ten seconds flat, right. Chris.] The project's backers suddenly pulling out has all been a bit sudden, and Kirsty is talking about leaving Ambridge, at which Justin exclaims in unnoticed horror; Megan is busy telling him that what worries Kirsty most is the long-term effect on the local environment and wildlife and people. There's not much Megan can do about that, but she can come down and cheer Kirsty up, or try to. A flying visit to make her feel better, and she hopes it works. It's not like Kirsty to get down in the dumps, Megan claims. Justin announces they are in Ambridge, and drops Megan just by the pub, then wishes her luck with the cheering up and drives off without telling her his name.

Emma is putting Ed through an inquisition, and gradually gets the whole story out of him, though initially he plays dumb. She tells him she has to know the truth, because she can't cope with knowing that something is going on and not knowing what it is, and (having been caught out in lies and half-truth already) he admits that George is being bullied and that their MP is going to try to get him moved. He wanted to keep it from Emma until it was sorted out. Initially she holds by what Brad told her, and in the end Ed tells her Brad was lying to her at George's behest. What's going on, according to Ed, is intimidation because George is the new boy, bullying, basically, but they'll get him moved out before anything bad happens. Ed swears it. Brad says George is having a bad time and is scared to say anything in case they come back at him; Emma immediately grasps that if George has been moved they won't be able to harm him. Does Ed reckon this MP woman is going to be able to help? He is sure there is every chance, and adds that she and Will are going to see George on Thursday and they'll be able to judge for themselves how he really is. Emma says that will be enough, for her and for Will, and Ed says it could help: they could let him know that they are doing their best for him. Emma states that she just needs to see George, and Ed reiterates that they can get a better picture of how things really are with him, and then they can report that back to Sarah Byron. That seems less important to Emma than that they can tell George things are changing and they're getting him to a better environment. Ed agrees they might put his mind at rest, and give him hope. A safer place, adds Emma.

When Justin meets Lilian she apologises for being late but he assures her she hardly is, and her excuses are rather wasted. She asks how his meeting was, and he replies with the one word 'dull'; when she speaks crossly of him stitching up rewilding in Ambridge and calling that 'dull', he tells her not to start. She does, of course, and tells him she is just trying to find out what is happening about Mum's investment; he remains cagey and refuses to talk about it, but is prepared to tell her, 'completely truthfully', that the matter remains undecided.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 5th November, 2024

Would you rather be undermined by your other, or blind-sided by your spouse?

Characters: Tom, Natasha, Kirsty, Megan, Fallon, Helen, Harrison
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

It isn't enough to make sandwiches to save Natasha a job. As Tom discovers, they need to be cut the right way. He has cut them square; she wanted triangles.

The fireworks are at the Jubilee Field this year, well away from the centre of the village after last year's 'silent' fireworks that were anything but, as Kirsty explains to her mother. Half the village must be there tonight, Megan says, but not the mystery man who so kindly gave her a lift. Kirsty can't think who he was, and her mother's description of the car as 'black, or perhaps grey' doesn't really help. She told him about Kirsty and the rewilding, and her impression was that he was interested; Kirsty, ever doom-ridden, says he won't be interested for much longer because its days are numbered; her mother tells her not to give up, but she seems really certain of it. Megan optimistically tells her that something else will come along, but Kirsty is not consoled: the rewilding means everything to her, as she explains at length. Megan then wants to call in at the tea room for Fallon's farewell; Kirsty would rather not, but Megan insists.

The presentation goes well, and Fallon thanks everyone, but that's not the end of it: Natasha and Helen then embarrass her with a joint encomium in which they praise her for her wonderful running of what was until recently her own tea room, a fact which both of them seem to have consigned to oblivion and which Fallon is too polite to mention even when Natasha talks about 'the difference Fallon's made to the tea room'. [She means 'the difference Fallon made to the cowshed rented to her in 2015', I think. Chris.] According to Helen she's been a good friend to the tea room, and they are all going to miss her, according to Natasha, who then says 'fare well, and may all good things go with you'. [Which could be taken as cursing the tea room with having no good thing left there. One can hope. Chris.] Amid cheers and applause, Fallon thanks Natasha with apparent sincerity, and Natasha can't resist telling her that way she left, well, Natasha found that disappointing and felt let down, but that's been and gone now and Natasha is determined to remember the many positive things, so she really does wish her well with the charging station venture and hopes it will bring her true happiness.

Kirsty admits to being glad she came, and Megan tells her that Fallon's face lit up when she saw her; Kirsty is not sure about that. As they are talking Tom comes over and offers Kirsty a sandwich, and gets a seriously cold shoulder from Megan when Kirsty tries to get them to talk. Being introduced to Natasha, who says she is Tom's wife, really doesn't help: Megan expresses astonishment with the words 'Tom has a wife?' Natasha tries to be bright and breezy with her and gets no change whatever, and Tom draws his wife away, saying that maybe they should keep circulating. Kirsty is shocked at her mother's behaviour, but Megan is clearly unrepentant.

Fallon and Harrison are talking together, with him saying that Helen and Natasha were not over the top and Fallon made a great success of the tea room and is now going to do the same for the charging station. The only difference, he says, is that she will be the boss. [Just the way she was at the Bridge Farm tea room until Natasha and Tom took it away from her. Is this amnesia universal? Megan would not have forgotten! Chris.] He tells her not to be nervy about it: she'll cruise it. Then Megan comes over and Fallon introduces her to Harrison. Fallon was sorry to hear about Kirsty's rewilding problems, and Harrison says that's Justin Elliott for you: he's not bothered who he tramples on to get what he wants. Megan's comment is that give her half an hour on her own with him and he won't know what's hit him. [O the irony. Chris.]

For a wonder, Tom and Natasha have realised that Megan's dislike is reserved for them, since she is getting on all right with Fallon and Harrison, but Natasha congratulates herself on it all having gone well apart from that. Tom seems surprised that she thinks so, and, when Natasha argues that it's the kind of thing people in Ambridge do well, he explains that he feels that Natasha was a bit too generous about Fallon, who turned down a very good pay rise and is planning to set up in competition to them. Natasha reckons the new business being meat and dairy free is enough of a difference for it not to matter, but Tom thinks there will still be some people who drift away [from what had always been Fallon's tea room. Chris] to Fallon's café. [It's more convenient to the village than Bridge Farm.... Chris.] And now she has walked out on them she's not going to be easy to replace. Natasha tells him it's not impossible, and he asks whether she has someone in mind then, to which her answer is that she has, as it goes. [sic. Chris.] He speculates in alarm that she means Chelsea, but she tells him he is staring the answer in the face: her. Obviously.

Just as the cake is about to come through Harrison approaches Helen and tells her he has had a call and has to go to work at once. She tries to argue him out of it, as well as asking him whether going full time again is 'more difficult', and he tells her it's different but he's not complaining, it's what he signed up for. He then asks her not to mention his having said anything, it's just work and you get through it. [How martyred is that, on a scale of 1 to Sebastian? Chris.] He drags himself away as Natasha claims everyone's attention with the words 'gather, people' [die, witch. Gus] and draws attention to the cake she has made.

On their way home Kirsty is cross with her mother for her embarrassing treatment of Tom: Kirsty made peace with him long ago and also gets on with Natasha. Megan is unrepentant: she will never forget what Tom did to Kirsty. Kirsty doesn't suppose that she will either, but she has decided not to carry the burden around with her and has set it aside. Megan says she just resents the way he's moved on, made a nice little life for himself, and Kirsty, well... hasn't. Kirsty thinks she has, but Megan reminds her that life's changing around her: her work's changing, her home's about to change, and maybe she should embrace that. [I thought this woman said she was there to cheer Kirsty up? Chris.] She should find a more reliable kind of work, and does she have to be on her own all the time? Kirsty insists that she isn't alone, and she is fine, absolutely fine, and maybe the work isn't reliable but it's what she really wants to do. Megan sighs.

Tom and Natasha have taken Fallon home, although she protests she could have got a cab, and she thanks them for the lovely evening she's had, which Tom at once says was no more than she deserved, with Natasha adding it was a pity Harrison had to leave. Fallon says he'll be all right: he's got some cake for when he gets back! She praises the 'bonfire' cake with its Catherine wheels and starbursts, telling Natasha it is seriously good. She wishes them goodnight, telling them to take care, and closes the door behind her. in the silence that follows Tom asks whether Natasha doesn't think it's a bit too much, and she replies that obviously she doesn't think so or she wouldn't have said she'll do it. Doubtfully, he says that managing the tea room is pretty full on; she laughs and tells him she does know that. But Fallon leaving like this, they can see it as an opportunity for trying something different; does he think she hasn't considered the workload? He asks if she has, to which her reply is 'of course'. She tells him there is an answer: sell Summer Orchard. This gets a blank 'What?' He wants her to hang on a moment, but she ignores him and says they really should be getting home.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 6th November, 2024

Mothers should be kept on leads and muzzled, and is this Justin's dream computer?

Characters: Megan, Kirsty, Rex, Justin
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

At the rewilding Kirsty has been busy cutting back brambles, and her mother tells her that she deserves a cuppa; they discuss brambles and what wildlife, such as dormice, lives in them, and then last night's party. Megan thinks Fallon a lovely girl, but clocked that Tom and Natasha were a bit on edge with each other, a bit tense. Kirsty derides the notion, but Megan is sure they'd had words or were about to, and Kirsty resignedly tells her mother this is what she does: she imagines things in people that really aren't there and then states them as absolute fact. Megan thinks they'll see, won't they, and says that the main thing is it was a lovely evening for Fallon who is now off to pastures new – which she uses as a dig at Kirsty. Kirsty ignores it and speaks of Helen instead, and whether she said anything to Megan about buying the house. Rex comes in, and is greeted enthusiastically by both Kirsty and Megan; he has been running a trial of their virtual tour and holding his breath in case it all goes wrong again. He says it's good to see Megan again [when did he see her before, I wonder? Chris] and she offers him a brew and asks after his boat. She says she lived on a boat back in the day and absolutely loved it.

His computer is giving Justin trouble as he tries to connect to something, and tells him 'something seems to have gone wrong', which irritates him. He then gets a message from Robert Snell on his screen, which says 'Hello Justin, the rewilding Ambridge virtual tour is ready to go. Why not give it a try?' and he indignantly says is what he's been trying to do for the past twenty minutes. He continues to read it aloud: 'If you're having trouble getting in, try this code (copy and paste), kind regards, Robert.' When he does copy-and-paste, this lets him in to the new rewilding site, where Rex's voice greets him and asks him where he wants to go today. Justin fails to answer instantly and is prompted, then told 'I'm sorry, I didn't quite understand that'. He pulls himself together enough to enunciate 'Show me what's happening with rewilding this morning', and is told about clearing brambles. Justin exclaims in wonder that Kirsty is still working at it: its days are numbered but she is still working at it [he was not told that it was Kirsty bramble-clearing. Chris], and the Rex-voice in the machine says 'That's right, Justin.' Being addressed by name seems to surprise Justin (as it probably would anyone who had not given their name to an AI) and the Rex-voice continues, 'Still working when it all seems a bit pointless, Justin.' Justin apparently smells a rat and says 'Rex? Is that you? Rex, are you talking to me?' only to be told 'I'm sorry, I didn't understand that' by the disembodied voice. He repeats 'Are you talking to me?' slowly and clearly; the machine chimes at him, which also seems to astonish him, and asks if he would like to visit their latest room, then addresses him by name once more while repeating the question in a different form: would he like to visit the Future of Ambridge room? Justin appears to be awed by this, uttering a moan.

Megan is still telling Rex about the boat and how it could be very cold, but but once you warmed it up it was perfectly toasty; he agrees that is indeed a good word for it. She also speaks of seeing an otter so often that he felt like a neighbour. Rex interrupts her reminiscences to ask if she's sure Kirsty doesn't want any help with the brambles, but Megan is sure Kirsty is fine and said she'd rather just get on by herself [when was that? Before or after he came in and greeted both women? Chris]; Rex knows how independent Kirsty is. Rex says it means a lot to her, all this; Megan agrees that she knows it does, but tries to tell Kirsty there's other things in life and work's not the be-all and end-all. Rex muses that it almost is, for her: she has real belief; and for him too, he adds. He knows it's important even if he doesn't get as passionate abut it as Kirsty, and although he knows there are other things in life, he basically thinks she's right and it matters. That's why thinking they might lose it all at any moment is hard. That's the price you pay: if you care about something, it can hurt, and you should be prepared for that. Megan suggests that living on a boat puts you close to nature: is that what got him interested in rewilding? No, he's been interested since he was a kid and went camping with his little brother Toby, in Norfolk (Wells, Holkham, all along that coast) and saw a hare in the early morning. He and Megan appear to bond over this, and she then asks if he shares his boat with anyone, as it might be a Mrs Rex, then inquires if there ever has been a Mrs Rex. Kirsty interrupts by coming in talking about the brambles, and though Megan goes on asking questions Rex is able to ignore them by talking to Kirsty, who says she was happy on her own but could now do with a coffee. She realises she's left her rucksack outside and asks Megan to go and fetch it, then apologises to Rex about her mother quizzing him. He politely says she was, a bit, but she was fine really. Kirsty is aware that her mother has no restraints and is a magnet for embarrassment, but Rex assures her they got on really well; however, he takes his chance to escape, as suggested by Kirsty, since he should get back to the boat anyway and finish off working on the virtual tour. Kirsty thinks she'll take a look, and Rex advises her not to leave it too long: Robert says it's running in a beta version but only for a limited time, two days or so. Then they give Robert their feedback before it goes live. Kirsty ruefully says it all seems a bit meaningless really.

The virtual tour includes a Tamworth pig and her piglets rootling and wallowing on the edge of woodland; Justin exclaims that he hardly recognises the place. Rex's voice speaks of other things they've seen; the biodiversity of the wetlands, the air alive with butterflies (Justin recognised a purple emperor, it seems, because he used to have one on a cigarette card), the wild flowers: the scarlet pimpernel, red clover, black medick: we see all these things [in November. Gus], he says, because rewilding flourished in Ambridge. [Sudden fourth wall moment: the tour is now, so why the past tense? Chris.] 'But if it didn't flourish?' asks Justin, giving a cue for dystopia. So, Rex-voice continues, there's a panoply of bird-life: black stork [these are rare visitors in England. Chris], turtle doves, osprey [on a day trip from northern Scotland. Chris] – nightingales! enthuses Justin. The computer chimes, and the Rex-voice starts sombrely to discuss 'if it didn't flourish...', punctuated by moans from Justin. Nothing. Or next to nothing. (Chime.) Now look. This is the alternative. (Noise of wind howling.) Rewilding Ambridge nipped in the bud, and there are fields of mono-crops with thin, bare hedges at the boundaries, no wild flowers, and the Am a dead river choked of all life, poisoned by chemical run-off from intensive farming; no click and hum of busy insects. (Chime.)

Continuing an earlier conversation at Kirsty, Megan is only saying you have to be careful if you're selling a house, you have to tread ... We're talking about Helen here [so anything could happen. Gus], Kirsty informs her, slightly crossly. Helen is never going to take advantage! Megan continues to prophesy gloom: she's seen it before. Kirsty tells her she can't make sweeping generalisations like that. It's probably best if Megan doesn't interfere. Megan asserts that she's not interfering; she doesn't do that. Kirsty chokes, then exclaims that's exactly what Megan was doing not half an hour ago, prying into Rex's private life. Megan denies it, but Kirsty heard her grilling him. Anyway, when did Megan ever live on a boat? The boat on the Broads was for two weeks: a two-week holiday. Megan swiftly changes the subject: anyway, Rex is a nice young man. Kirsty groans: don't. Don't do that. Megan protests innocence, and is talked over: Rex and Kirsty get on perfectly well, it's a business relationship, and Kirsty does not want it spoiled.

Anxiously, Justin asks the Rex-voice about the people; the computer chimes and the Rex-voice says 'I'm sorry, I do not understand your question.' Justin enlarges what he asked: the people who manage rewilding, what happens to them? The Rex-voice replies 'what happens to Kirsty?' and after Justin has clarified that he meant if the project stops for some reason. She will lose employment, according to the Rex-voice, and when Justin asks what will happen to her, and then tells it to answer him, the computer chimes and, after a pause, the Rex-voice tells him what it found: possibility one, a person may look for better remuneration, a job with better pay and better prospects. Justin seems horrified: and asks if she will abandon her ideals; the Rex-voice says a person may abandon her ideals. She may harden her heart. Justin moans. Possibility two: a person may be broken. (Broken, repeats Justin unhappily.) She may give up hope. She may move away. (No! cries Justin.) She may give up hope. She may disappear.

[This computer stuff is simply bullshit. It's the sort of thing someone might believe could happen when they're handing over their credit card details to a sexbot-chat company. Feral Techie.]

Summarised by Chris Ghoti



Thursday 7th November, 2024

George is making 'friends', and Helen starts to try to make conditions.

Characters: Emma, Will, Susan, Kirsty, George, Helen
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Waiting to be allowed in for their visit, Emma and Will are worrying about George, for whom Emma has brought some puzzle books: sudoku and the like. Emma hates the place, and the look you see in people's faces, that look of hopelessness. It's like the old lady they saw at the bus stop with the kiddy in the push-chair while they were waiting at the lights: there was a look about her and Emma just knew she was visiting the prison. Will points out reasonably that is where the bus was going, but Emma reckons it wasn't just that, it was something else, something hopeless. Nobody helped her fold the pushchair to get on the bus, and the little boy was grizzling and she was trying to be cheerful for him. Emma had to wonder why the mum wasn't with them and what the story was. Will starts to wonder if he ought to ask what's going on, but just then they are allowed to go through.

At the shop, Kirsty buys some muesli and is interrogated by Susan, who wonders if she might have more time on her hands: maybe she would consider joining the Parish Council. Kirsty realises that it is because of the rewilding that Susan thinks she might have time for the council, and says that maybe she'll have nothing to do there: the whole thing might fold. Susan is surprised, and then disgusted by the way Justin is treating the rewilding. Kirsty has run out of muesli because her mother eats it night and morning, but Megan has gone home now; it's fairly clear that Kirsty was glad she came, and is glad she's gone again.

George can hardly believe it about the puzzles: how old do they think he is, fifty or something? Emma, of course, apologises and says they are doing their best. He also complains about the money she put into his account: doesn't she know how much she can put in? She apologises and says it was all a bit of a rush, and he tells her that next time he'll need the full allowance, every penny. When Emma asks how he is, he says he does all right, then points out a nasty-looking customer talking to a blonde, whom he describes as Baseball, a right laugh. Emma doesn't think he looks like a laugh, he looks wild, and George laughs in a nasty way and says he is. Emma says he looks like an animal, and George dares her to go over there and tell him that, and see what it gets her. Will says he is now looking their way, and George tells them it's OK: he has seen they're with George so he won't bother them. He's a mate. When Emma remarks that he looks angry George tells her that being angry is how you get things done. People know what Baseball is capable of; if he's on your side, you're laughing.

Kirsty is insisting to Helen that she's sorry to see Megan go, and Helen asks if they tried Lost Property at the station for the missing purse and phone; yes, they rang them but didn't hear a thing back. Kirsty didn't hold out much hope that they would. Helen assumes that would mean Megan had to fork out for another ticket, which must be quite a lot, but Kirsty tells her no, she didn't, because the purse turned up. And the phone. Helen is astonished: where was it? Kirsty is sure she'll never guess where: they were in the bag. Helen wants to know more: the bag that she'd already searched? Were they in an inner pocket? No, Kirsty says, they were loose, in the bag – they were just bobbing about in the bag and she completely emptied it, tipped it out, shook the blessed thing and there was nothing, absolutely nothing in it. Weird. Helen is equally astonished, but they agree things like that sometimes happen, and Helen decides it was a happy ending to a happy visit. Helen wonders if Megan knows Kirsty is selling her Beechwood, and what she thinks of it: no agent, no fees. Untruthfully reassured by Kirsty that Megan was fine with it, in fact keen on the idea, Helen says that she was talking to Pat about it and they sort of agreed there ought to be a survey rather than just take things for granted. Kirsty is taken aback but of course she wouldn't mind. Helen adds that she was going to ask about the curtains: is she planning to remove them when the sale goes through, or can Helen keep them?

Persevering, Emma asks about the courses George might be able to take in the prison, and George's voice when speaking of them suggests he despises the very idea; in any case he hasn't signed up for any. He tells her not to start all that; it's still early doors and he'll do it when the time's right. Will tells her that maybe George should wait anyway, if he's going to move. George greets that idea with disbelief: who said anything about moving? Will tells him about talking to their MP, which George thinks cool: he asks them to tell her thank you. However, when Emma tells him they think this other place could be better for him, more suitable, he tells them simply that he's not moving. He's all right right where he is. His cellmate is all right when you get to know him, he's a laugh, and George is making a few mates. Mates like Baseball, Emma says in disgust, but George says mates who look out for you and watch your back, so thanks for the offer but he's not going anywhere: he's staying.

Kirsty has had time for thought, and rings Helen to say that she's been thinking about what they were saying about the house, well, the curtains. She might change her mind about that: on reflection she thinks she wants to keep them. They'd be for Willow Farm, if she's lucky enough. The trouble is Roy wants to sell up as soon as he can so she'll have to get moving if she wants to buy it, and she just thought, well, if she'd already got curtains. Helen assures her it's fine and she doesn't have to explain.

Emma tells Susan that George was like his old self, mouthy and sounding off about this and that; Susan thinks this is really good news. Emma explains he's making friends and not being bullied. Susan asks if Emma gave him Susan's love, and Emma says yes, but when Susan asks if he said anything or sent her any message it's clear Emma is not being truthful when she tells her he sent his love back. Susan questions it, and Emma says she knows what they're like at that age, no time for sending love. He didn't say anything, did he, states Susan, and Emma says no. He just looked away. He'll come round in time. Susan says he's doing all right in himself and that's the main thing. Emma reveals that he says they don't have to try and get him moved: he's fine where he is so it's just a case of counting off the days; she talks up the prison until she can't manage it any more and breaks down, telling Susan about George's new friends and how she doesn't know what he'll be like when he comes out: it feels worse to her than if he were being bullied.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 8th November, 2024

The Christmas Carol 'homage' limps to a close, and a new melodrama starts.

Characters: Fallon, Harrison, Emma, Rex, Kirsty, Justin, Lilian
Credited scriptwriter:
Nick Warburton
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Fallon is on her way to sign the contract for the EV charging station unit and is nervous; she takes her lucky tape-measure with her even though Harrison scoffs about it. He tells her she doesn't need it: all she needs is herself and the contract to sign. He is sure it will be a roaring success because of her talent. He goes off to work, and Emma rushes up, glad that she hasn't missed Fallon.

Winding up the rewilding will involve selling the longhorn cattle, which Rex describes as a melancholy business. He and Kirsty feel they should get on with planning it now so that it isn't done later in a rush, but neither is happy about it: it's like selling off favourite members of the family. Their discussion is interrupted by a knock on the door followed by the uninvited entrance of Justin, with whom Rex loses his temper, starting by saying that he doesn't remember having said 'come in'. After giving them to understand that they ought to pay attention to the paperwork to save everyone bother, thus goading Rex into considerable heat and rudeness, he reveals the reason he is there: he has with him some paperwork which needs their immediate signature. He hands it to Kirsty with a flourish, and, in spite of Rex's opposition to the very idea of having anything more to do with Justin, she starts to read it and realises it is a contract for the lease of BL land at a peppercorn rent. The Board are very pleased to renew, and just awaiting a couple of signatures. He is there [he calls them his friends, his very good friends, in order to clarify the debt this script owes to Dickens. Chris] to save the day. He chuckles, and Rex and Kirsty gasp.

Aware that Emma has visited George, Fallon warns her she doesn't want to talk about him, which is just as well because Emma doesn't want to either: she just wants to forget about it. What she wants is to give Fallon a present for good luck. She was at the leaving do, though Fallon didn't see her because she didn't stop and didn't speak to anyone. She can't look them in the eye. But she realised this morning that she can't leave it like that, and wish her all the good things in the future and give her something special. It's to say thank you for all Fallon has done for her over the years, she explains, and remember all the fun they had. Open it! It's to bring her luck. And it's a miniature tree given to Emma and Ed by a grateful customer. They will trim it for her as necessary, and are getting some special little ladders so they can reach the top. [It is not specified whether this tree is a bonsai, or is made of china or of wood. Chris.] The two women laugh heartily, and Fallon accuses Emma of just trying to palm it off on her, which Emma doesn't deny. More seriously, Emma says she really is grateful for what Fallon has done for her, and does wish her well. Fallon feels that she needs the luck it will bring, because what she is about to do seems such a big step. [What, starting her own business? She's done it before. Chris.] Emma felt the same about the tree-surgery: it just felt so daunting. But honestly, Emma tells her, being your own boss... Emma loves it. Really? Fallon asks doubtfully, and Emma assures her that she wouldn't change a thing. [Just think, Fallon: a little over a year ago you too were your own boss, until your business was the victim of a hostile take-over. Chris.] Emma agrees it's a big step for Fallon, but she can do it and it's the perfect thing for her to do.

Kirsty and Rex are having a drink with Lilian and telling her all about Justin's visit to them, which has come as a surprise to her. Rex is feeling a fool for having fallen for Justin's 'twirly moustached landlord bit'. Lilian wants to know that he has renewed the BL contract after all, and Rex and Kirsty tell her that he has indeed, and at a slightly reduced rent, as well as adding a small parcel of BL land; on top of that, he's investing his own money in Rewilding Ambridge. All for a guaranteed five years, so they can secure Kirsty's job for that time at least, carols Rex; she immediately says his could be the one chosen for that. Kirsty was surprised by the way he completely changed his mind; Lilian wonders what brought this about, but apparently he's been a bit cagey about that, though Kirsty got the impression it was personal and he was doing it for them. Rex is not so sure but concedes that he did seem happy that they were happy. Kirsty is simply grateful, whatever it was. They toast Justin, with Lilian adding the suggestion that the two of them might spread the word that Justin Elliott has as warm a heart as anyone in Ambridge.

The man himself, meanwhile, has been trying without success to get into the Rewilding website, and Lilian finds him crossly prodding at the computer. She tells him she is going to have a drink and Justin works out that there is something up; she tells him she is fed up, since he asks. He tells her that is two of them and explains about the website, then asks why she is fed up. She tells him she has seen Rex and Kirsty, who were stunned by his generosity, so he assumes she is cross with him for not having consulted her and starts to make excuses, but not a bit of it: she thoroughly approves and was nearly as delighted as they were. He asks what's the matter, in that case, and she explains that the reaction was not people saying what a good chap he'd been, with a steady flow of gratitude and appreciation, but instead people looking for a dubious motive for his behaviour. Justin is upset to get no thanks for what he's done; he splutters indignantly about it. Lilian complains that people are so cynical expecting that he only did something good to cover up something else . Justin thinks it is disappointing, perhaps particularly so when Lilian, clearly suspicious herself, asks him to confirm that he's not up to something. All he is up to, he protests, is what she sees before her: a little financial backing for a cause he now sees is important. He has done it to help Kirsty and Rex, not to enhance his own reputation. Reassured, Lilian tells him that she thinks he is wonderful and she is so relieved: she thought she might have to leave him as she did last Christmas, but now he has seen the light and she thinks he's wonderful.

When Harrison gets home with flowers and a bottle of fizz he finds Fallon there and very despondent. The unit she is being offered at the charging station has been changed again, and this more recent one is simply not going to be financially viable: it's too small and too far from the middle. She hasn't signed the contract, and can't think what to do now. He makes various suggestions, but she doesn't see how any of them could work. She is now making all the calculations about footfall which she ought to have been making before looking at it at all [still less resigning from her job. Chris], and they have to be realistic. Harrison is stunned: she might have to pull out? And do what else? She doesn't know. She has already turned down the Bridge Farm offer so that's not an option, and she has to decide in a few days. What are they going to do? She doesn't know what to do!

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 10th November, 2024

Fallon comes to a decision, Tony makes an offer and Helen havers.

Characters: Helen, Tony, Fallon, Harrison, Jolene
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Mel Ward
Editor: Jeremy Howe

At Bridge Farm, Henry has been a great help to Tony tending to the goats they already have and in setting up a pen for the new goat arriving this week on Thursday: a buck, as Helen and Henry have both insisted, not a billy, because he is a meat goat. Tony repeatedly invites Helen to come and share a chicken-and-mushroom pie for lunch, since the boys are out with Lee. Helen suggests the name Messi for the new goat [G.O.A.T., geddit? Chris] or Lionel to be more subtle; or perhaps Rinaldo. Tony is opposed, and eventually has the joke explained to him. Henry was not pleased by Helen using slang, and Jack irrelevantly chimed in that she had zero rizz [defined by the OED as 'style, charm, or attractiveness, and the ability to attract a romantic or sexual partner'; I am with Jack on this one. Chris] but luckily Helen and Henry had no idea what it means and nor has Tony initially. He does work out that it must be short for charisma, which Helen had not thought of.

After much consideration, and debate with Harrison, Fallon has decided the unit at the charging station just isn't doable: the risks are too great. Harrison keeps going on about it being wrong them being able to change units on her with no comeback, and she is resigned about his doing so. He wants her to go back tomorrow and argue with them, and offers to do it for her if she wants; she definitely doesn't want that. [Even if there is the slightest chance the bosses would be at the building site without an appointment. Chris.] Harrison can't believe they know she cut her job for the chance, and wants them told, but Fallon knows that Justin does know, and he wasn't there when she spoke with them. Harrison urges her to talk to Justin, then goes to answer the door.

Tony is showing off the new pen to Helen and telling her how useful Henry was in preparing it. Helen mentions Khalil's possible jealousy about the goat, and how Khalil really wants to get some chickens and has a plan to persuade his mother, a plan being kept secret from Helen. Tony reckons chickens will be less trouble than a certain cat round here who shall remain nameless; like the goat, mentions Helen, and Tony just hopes it is going to be worth what they paid for it. Helen asks how much it was, and Tony snorts and says that's another detail they are not privy to. Helen thanks him anyway and says that Henry loves it. Tony tries again to persuade her to stay to lunch, talking about Lee feeding the boys and how good it is he's staying in touch with them; Helen agrees that he's a great guy, but just... Just not the one for her, Tony finishes for her. After a small further outbreak of banter she agrees to stay to lunch. According to Henry, Tony tells her, this time next year she'll be eating roast goat that Henry has reared himself. Well, in a year and a half. Helen finds it strange to see her teenager planning eighteen months ahead, and Tony tells her Henry is growing up to be a farmer. Tony wishes they knew how much this animal cost: Henry mentioned that it was a lot.

It was Jolene at the door; she claims to have messed up the rota at work and have twenty minutes off. She's been worrying about Fallon being so down about the charging station. She's come to try to persuade Fallon to accept a loan from her. Fallon steadfastly refuses it, and Harrison reminds Jolene that not long ago she was worried about lending them money. She explains that was when she had the dog attack to deal with and was not at all sure she, or Kenton, would be going on running the pub: she thought they might want to retire early [or in Kenton's case at normal retirement age. Chris] but now she feels they're on the up and she'd like to see Fallon and Harrison on the up as well. Why don't they just think about it?

As they walk back for lunch Tony asks Helen what is happening over the house. A surveyor came in on Friday afternoon, and she hasn't had the report but he was doing quite a lot of muttering [the house was built in 2018 at the earliest. Chris]; Tony doesn't think that means there is anything seriously wrong. Helen at once says she doesn't either but there are definitely things that need doing. If he finds anything significant, well, she just doesn't know. Houses, like people, age and have things go wrong, and she doesn't know what else is coming in the report. She and Kirsty have agreed a price but it may need to come down if she's going to afford it. She hasn't yet spoken about this to Kirsty because she's going to wait for the report to come in. [Kirsty is Helen's friend, but Helen is not Kirsty's. Chris.] The real problem is that she's ambivalent about buying the house: it's just not where she pictured herself. They're lovely houses, but the estate still feels like suburbia to her. Tony agrees, and reassures her that she doesn't sound spoilt. Helen concedes that the boys love it, it's home to them, and they don't want to move. She just doesn't know what to do. Tony says it sounds like she needs a bit more time to think, and she agrees. [Kirsty, meet bus. Very predictable. Chris.] Tony asks where she would live if she didn't buy Kirsty's house, and Helen supposes she'd rent somewhere elsethere are other housesthough probably not in the village. Tony feels that would be a shame just as Henry is starting to get involved in the farm. When she says that's true but they wouldn't go far, Tony asks if she knows they are always welcome to move back into Bridge Farm. He then mentions his own ambition: an eco-house built on Bridge Farm. But at this stage, it's probably just his fantasy.

Jolene hasn't given up, and wants to be told how much they'd need. When Fallon refuses to tell her she appeals to Harrison, but he doesn't in fact know. He is tempted, however, and wants to talk it through. He is thinking that if they borrowed money from her mum, he could talk to his parents as well [forgetting that they have already, in July 2017, given him the deposit for the house he is sitting in, I assume. Chris], which gets an instant, vehement veto from Fallon, which he over-rides to add that he could also put in some regular overtime and that way they could mitigate the financial risk. Jolene thinks it sounds sensible, but Fallon isn't prepared to touch it. when Harrison says he is trying to be positive, she tells him there's a fine line between positive and wishful thinking. He tells her that he wants her to have what she's always wanted and Jolene chimes in to say so does she, but Fallon feels that sometimes we can't have what we want and we shouldn't try and make it happen at all costs and against all common sense. [They have all forgotten that until this time last year she had what she had always wanted, and it was then stolen from her. Chris.] However much they lend her, she proclaims, if there isn't enough room for what she wants there the business model won't work. She is turning down the unit, and that's that.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 11th November, 2024

Emma gets a job offer, Fallon gets a job offer and Harrison offers to work more.

Characters: Natasha, Emma, Harrison, Fallon, Tony
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Mel Ward
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Because the tea room is becoming something of a slog for her, Natasha has invited Emma to come in so that she can offer her a job as part-time manager; Natasha has a lot of other jobs to do and needs help. Emma is delighted and accepts without further ado [or finding out details like hours, pay and such. Chris] and Natasha is delighted, calling her a life-saver.

Fallon has just emailed CellCharge turning down the unit when Harrison comes in. He is taken aback because he thought they'd keep on discussing it, but as she says, they've been discussing it for days and she feels like they've discussed it to death. He thought that if they just kept talking they'd find a solution, whereas Fallon thinks that sometimes you've just got to know when you're beaten. He goes on grumbling, then apologising about grumbling, until Fallon strokes his ego by telling him she loves how much time he has spent trying to work it all out. She tells him she doesn't want him running himself ragged for her, and he says he'd do anything for her. [And she doesn't ask 'would you put your head in an old fish-saucepan for me, please?' – a sadly missed opportunity. Chris.] She is now dreading seeing Justin, because he was so keen on this whole venture. Harrison feels strongly that Justin is the one who should feel bad, his company having let Fallon down as it has. His indignation is stoked again at the thought of Justin's perfidy and he has another angry rant, about that. She asks what time his shift starts, and, when he says 'two', offers to make him lunch before he goes. He delightedly accepts, and she says she has to go and get some things from the shop, and will also have to swallow her pride and go to talk to Natasha.

Tony has come into the tea room for a flat white and is served by Natasha, who seems to be working there on her own. He asks whether she has ever heard of the 'Passive House' concept and, when she says she isn't sure, explains energy-efficient eco-houses to her in some detail. Eventually she politely asks why he is talking about them, and he says he wants to build one on Bridge Farm land, which immediately gets her full, excited attention. When he says it's pie in the sky she asks why, so he explains it's a huge endeavour; but her reaction is that if that's what he's always dreamed of, and they've got the space, then it isn't pie in the sky. Tony agrees they have, and he thinks they could finance it; he'd love it, he really would. But he had given up on the idea until yesterday when he discovered that Helen is not sure about buying the Beechwood house. Natasha instantly says that if Helen doesn't want it she and Tom will buy it. Tony at once thinks that's it then: Helen can move into the farmhouse, Tom and Natasha into Beechwood and he and Pat could have a Passive House on Bridge farm land. Natasha thinks that sounds great but they shouldn't tell anyone else. They are laughing over it when Fallon comes in; Tony reckons he'd better go, takes Natasha's order for various veg, and leaves saying he'll be back in a mo. Fallon is not actually a customer, she explains, and it's really awkward but she's just going to come out and say it: she's there to ask for her job back. Natasha is taken aback, and, when Fallon tells her more about the reasons, finds it hard to believe. She is very sorry, but she has literally just offered the job to Emma, and she said yes. Fallon is downcast but accepting.

When Fallon encounters Emma shortly afterwards, one leaving and the other coming to the tea room to fetch the phone she has left there, the matter is not mentioned by either of them.

Emma goes in and retrieves her phone; Natasha asks if she saw Fallon, and, although interrupted by Tony bearing veg, tells her that Fallon asked for her job back. Tony is astounded, and Natasha at once says Fallon wouldn't want them to know what she has just told them, so please don't spread it around. Tony wants to know more about what went wrong with the charging station plan; Natasha claims not to know or understand it, and as the other two make sympathetic remarks adds that she feels terrible; Emma says that now she does too, even though Tony tells her it's not her fault. Natasha frets that she shouldn't have told them, and repeats that they mustn't say anything to Fallon. Tony swears to be the soul of discretion, and Emma says that of course they will.

Back home, Fallon is pacing, and sounding off to Harrison: what is she going to do? She's lost everything! Harrison tries to console her, and assures her they will work something else out. He didn't want her to go back to the tea room anyway. She reminds him they need the money and they can't live on what he earns; he says he'll have to do overtime, and she says 'no'. That's not what she's saying. Harrison is sure the tea room was a backward step, and he's glad she's not going back there. Can't they go back to Plan A, the charging station? No, they can't; Fallon is certain of that. He thinks she could talk to Justin and try to get another unit, but Fallon reckons there aren't any and whoever took the one she wanted must have offered more money. She doesn't know who it was; they aren't going to tell her that, though Harrison points out they'll find out when they go there, unless they boycott the place. Fallon's phone rings: it's Natasha, offering her a couple of regular shifts a week to help tide her over. Let her know by the end of the week if she wants them. After Natasha rings off Fallon tells Harrison about the offer, and he begs her not to do it, though she says they need the money; he reckons it's worse than going down a mine, going back to the combination of Natasha, and Emma as her boss, plus her mother at The Bull. [I don't remember Jolene offering Fallon work. Chris.] She was going to be autonomous. As she is protesting, the doorbell rings; Emma is there, wanting to offer to let her take the managerial post. Fallon refuses. She just can't do that.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 12th November, 2024

Neil and Susan reach out again to George, and Rex exclaims 'Beavers!'

Characters: Kirsty, Rex, Emma, Susan, Neil, Tony
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Mel Ward
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Kirsty wonders why she and Rex are meeting out of doors, and he says it's so he can see something he's got an idea about. She is freezing, but he brought coffee and home made flapjack. [Not flapjacks, like a normal person. Chris.]They discuss Justin's behaviour somewhat disparagingly, even though they have a reprieve, with Kirsty saying she thinks he thought it was funny; they agree it's great news in spite of the theatrical delivery. We have a salary, Kirsty says joyfully, and they can't be kicked off the land for five years. Really, the question is what they're going to do with this. Luxury, she adds comfortably. Rex has a suggestion, though it's a bit left field; Kirsty expresses interest, so he spits it out in a single word: 'beavers'. She wonders if he is serious.

Emma is telling Susan that she did try offering Fallon her job back and now she feels awful, which Susan doesn't understand: she did all she could, the honourable thing. Emma bemoans that even if she does a thousand honourable things she doesn't think she'll ever make up for what happened with George. Susan reckons she doesn't have to and it's not her job: it's for George to do. Emma reminds her about the covering for him, which Susan indignantly disputes, but Emma goes off at a tangent about his associates in prison and how much Emma dislikes them and finds them really scary-looking. George was proud they were mates, she says in disgust. She's afraid it could go wrong, and even if they don't turn on him they could lead him further astray and get him into all sorts; imagine if he starts bullying other lads in the prison just to look hard. Susan doesn't think he would, but Emma points out neither of them thought he'd do what he did in the crash. so now anything's possible. Tremulously, Susan insists that she does believe he's got a good heart. And he did something brave that night too, and that takes a good heart. After a diversion into this making Emma think of 'Braveheart', she notes that people can be both good and bad at the same time, and with George in prison she's worried he's going to lean into the bad. Emma felt pleased to be offered the job and felt accepted by the village again even though she knows Natasha isn't the whole village; Susan tells her that she is accepted by the village but that isn't how Emma feels. Anyway, then she found out Fallon wanted her job back and it took away all the happiness of it. Susan offers her some lunch with Neil so they can talk it all through: Neil is so sensible and has always got something useful to say.

The rewilders have adjourned indoors where it is less cold, and Rex launches into a talk about beavers and their attributes and merits. [I have not yet found the information brochure he was reading from. Chris.] Kirsty enthuses that she has read the research and they're a keystone native species. More enthusiasm for the idea of beavers 'back' in Ambridge comes from Rex; Kirsty at least has realised that they are quite controversial and some farmers would say they're a menace, though Rex disputes this view and feels that all they have to do is win people round by [talking at them until they lose the will to live. Chris] explaining how it all works. Kirsty suggests they need to talk to Tony first, since he is their farming consultant, and Rex agrees: as an organic farmer Tony is sure to agree to the beavers. They set off to see him at once.

When Neil gets home for his lunch he finds Emma there, but she is not planning to eat with them. Susan tells him they were just talking about George, and Neil wishes he could talk to the boy, but he's refusing to let them see him. Neil thinks he could write him a letter, though Susan thinks he might not pay attention to it; it's better than nothing, as Neil says and Emma seconds. Neil muses that with a letter you can read it again and again. Or you can just tear it up, says Susan, and he concedes that's true. Susan apologises; she didn't mean to be so negative, she's just devastated that George didn't want to see them. Neil suggests they put in another request to visit; Susan thinks he'll just refuse them again, but Emma thinks he might not. After Neil asks what they have got to lose, and although Susan remains unconvinced it will do any good, they agree to Neil emailing the prison now. Emma goes off to do the admin she won't have time for next week when she is back at the tea-room, asking her father to let her know when he gets a reply.

The rewilders find Tony, and, having innocently asked them to tell him a bit more, he too gets the full-on Rex pro-beaver chat, this time at even greater length and with additional input from Kirsty.

A phone rings; it's Neil, calling Susan to tell her he's just got an email from the prison and it doesn't say yes or no, unlike the immediate 'no' last time, so he thinks they may be in with a chance: it says they'll be notified with a date soon. Susan feels that seems promising, and thanks him for letting her know; she tells him he's lovely, which makes him snort with laughter. He then asks whether, if they do go to visit George, she'll be all right. She asks if he means because it's a prison, and he says yes, so she assures him that yes, she'll be all right; he is still anxious: it won't be triggering for her? [Not a word I'd expect Neil to use, but there we are. Chris.] She thinks it probably will be, a bit, but she'll cope. Whatever it takes to see their grandson. Fingers crossed they get a date soon.

Tony thinks what they need to do to win other farmers over is to emphasise the benefits to Ambridge, which causes yet another outbreak of the listing of same, this time involving talk of standing water spoiling the crops. He then comes to the awkward matter of the cost of this new excursion, and Rex offers £60k for a mile of beaver-proof fencing, which would include installation, which Kirsty sarcastically calls a bargain and Tony seriously says is potentially a bargain if it prevents crops being destroyed. Rex then adds in other costs for gates and maintenance: he'd say they're looking at about two hundred thousand over five years. Then if they can raise that and get the farmers to agree to the plan they will have to apply for a licence, which is its own battle. Tony thinks it is all doable and it's really interesting and bold and exciting – but he does need to crack on with the carrots right now. He leaves, and Rex gloats that he is into it, he's really into it. Kirsty is still reeling from the price; could they get people to sponsor a beaver? Rex [unlike the listener. Gus] starts to laugh over the potential publicity campaign.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 13th November, 2024

Tony's suggestions are tentative; Helen's are just cheeky.

Characters: Tom, Tony, Helen, Kirsty, Pat
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Mel Ward
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Tony arrives on a tractor and is greeted by Tom, who is looking for Helen: he wants to check with her about which cheeses are going in the veg boxes and which are being kept for the Christmas fairs. Tony tells him that Helen is at home spending the morning talking to Kirsty about the house and suggests he could give her a ring. He then remarks that driving the tractor is doing in his back, so Tom suggests they swap jobs: he will lift the carrots and Tony can finish the veg boxes; Tony is happy to agree. [What Tony actually says is 'you can drive and I'll supervise the followers. Some trays have had too many bunches this week,' which I cannot make sense of at all. Chris.]

Kirsty has indeed gone over to her house to talk with Helen about its sale to her, so they chat about Kirsty's mother having left and her attempts to match-make Kirsty and Rex. There is some self-deprecation from Kirsty about her own life and how her mother might make better choices for her, and then Kirsty says the weird part is that now her mother has chosen Rex to be her next husband Kirsty is looking at him in a different light. Helen decides they need a cup of tea for this discussion. Or a gin, Kirsty suggests.

During the handover of the tractor Tom tells Tony that Susan and Neil are going to see George tomorrow, and the pair have the Ambridge Standard Number 2 rant against George. Tom enquires about the new buck's arrival, and Tony says it's due tomorrow; Tom has promised to bring Nova and Seren to see him, since they are keen on the Billy Goats Gruff; Tony is glad to hear this, since Helen's two never liked them. Since Tom now proposes to ask Helen about this, Tony would like him also to ask his mother how much the new goat cost: she won't tell him because Tony didn't see why they needed to buy a male goat rather than just borrowing one and they had a bit of a row about it. Pat arrives just then asking how they are getting on [to which the answer is not at all, they have done sfa for ages. Chris] and announcing that she has to go and make Peggy's cake if it is to be ready for this afternoon. She wonders rather despairingly why they didn't just hire someone professional to bake the cake, and Tony reminds her that she volunteered. Pat says that his mother is a hundred today, which is amazing, and she thinks Peggy needs an amazing cake, and now she's got four hours to make it happen. Tom chimes in to tell her encouragingly that she can do it, and then asks her how much Henry's new goat cost. She instantly realises Tony put him up to this question, but Tom denies this rather unconvincingly.

Helen asks about Erik and where he fits into all this, and Kirsty replies that he doesn't: he's just not a serious prospect and she's not remotely in love with him, nor with Rex either, as Helen points out. She adds with mild irritation that this is a ridiculous conversation, and when Helen reminds her that she started it admits this, then adds that it could get really complicated working together and everything and anyway they should talk about the house. Helen concedes that they should but wants to talk about Rex some more ; Kirsty almost-firmly makes it clear she doesn't want to have Helen in one ear and her mother in the other.

Tony is getting cross all over again about the price of the goat being a secret, and Pat denies that it is a secret. Tom puts forward the idea that Tony could just look in the accounts, but that feels sneaky, possibly dishonourable, to Tony, even though they are joint accounts; Pat agrees that it would be kind of dishonourable. Tom tells them seriously that they are both insane, for which Tony thanks him in a way which means the opposite of thanks; Pat abruptly announces that it was seven hundred and fifty pounds. Tony repeats the sum in laughing disbelief, which Pat says is precisely why she didn't want to tell him. Tom claims that's just how much they cost [not if you look about a bit. Chris, who owns a computer] and Tony repeats his assertion that they didn't need to buy one at all. Pat shuts the argument down by saying that she needs to make this cake, so let's talk about it later, yes? Tony rightly says it's too late now because she's bought the damn thing, and Pat tells him to trust her, it's going to be great. She adds that Susan is going to see George and won't be coming in tomorrow; she said she might be able to do the afternoon but can't be sure. Tony says she might as well take the whole day off, and Pat agrees: Susan might find the visit difficult. [She doesn't have to work in the Post Office on Thursdays any more? Chris.] After she finally goes off to make the cake Tony explodes to Tom about the price of the goat, and Tom advises him to let it go. Tony concedes the point because he wants to talk to Tom about his latest idea about accommodation and building himself (and Pat, very much in brackets because he seems not to have told her) an eco-house on Bridge Farm land; he claims this is a life-long dream; Tom takes him up on this and points out it's a life-long dream he's never mentioned before or tried to make a reality, to which Tony rather limply says he's been busy, but when Tom asks if he is not still quite busy requests him to shut up and listen. He needs to ask Tom something seriously: if, if he can make it happen, how would Tom feel about Helen moving into the farmhouse? Tom temporises, and Tony continues: they haven't really talked about this in a long time [ever. Chris] and he wondered if Tom saw himself living with Natasha in the farmhouse? Tom temporises some more, saying he doesn't know, has no idea, and doesn't really think that far ahead [or to put it another way, Natasha hasn't yet told him what to think about it. Chris]; Tony tells him he's got the impression this isn't something Natasha would want, and maybe it is something that Helen would. Lacking HMV to guide him, Tom repeats that he doesn't know, and Tony tells him not to worry. It's just that he thought he'd ask because he wouldn't want Tom to feel less, well, loved. Obviously they'd make it fair somehow. Tom asks him to stop, but he protests that they really would; it's just that he worries about Helen. Tom says that he does too, but then asks what Pat thinks about the eco-house, and Tony admits that he hasn't talked to her yet. Tom calls that an interesting approach and asks how long they have been married, and, when Tony says 'fifty years next month', marvels that they still can't communicate. Tony rebuts him: they talk about lots of things, which he enumerates, ending with 'or beavers', which completely distracts Tom – he hadn't heard about the beavers.

At Beechwood, it turns out that what Helen is really asking is whether Kirsty would be prepared to drop the price to cover some of the repairs [repairs necessitated by Helen and her sons' occupancy of the house; Helen really does have a nerve. Chris]; she's sorry and she knows it's awkward but they have to be able to talk about it. Kirsty agrees that they must but tells her that she doesn't think she can afford to do that. It seems that Brenda has been in touch about Willow Farm because Roy has asked her to handle the whole thing, and although Roy is prepared to sell direct to Kirsty, Brenda has put it on the market. Kirsty has put a formal offer in, and she knows Roy would like her to get Willow Farm so it should work out, but obviously she needs to get everything sorted. Someone else could just come along any time and gazump her. Helen tries to argue that Roy wants to sell to her, but Kirsty tells her Brenda is the one handling it all, and if someone puts in a whacking great offer then she could persuade Roy to take it. Helen persists: she doesn't think he'd listen to Brenda, or do that to Kirsty; Kirsty remains firm. At some point you have to be pragmatic, and realistically, he's not going to sell to her if he can make a lot more money from someone else. Helen sighs and faces this: so she needs to get her act together, she says. Ideally, yes, Kirsty replies; when Helen says she just has to think about the extra costs though, whether she can afford these repairs, Kirsty suggests that it might not cost as much as she thinks. Helen says that whatever it is she'll have to roll the costs into her mortgage, and it's just her so it's not like she can get a joint mortgage and share the burden, and Kirsty reminds her that she too won't have a joint mortgage. Helen actually apologises and then whines that it's just there are three of them, and she feels she's made so many mistakes with the boys. This causes Kirsty to tell her she hasn't made so many mistakes, and that she has said it's the boys who love the place and want her to buy it; what exactly is it she is waiting for? Kirsty doesn't know how to say this without sounding harsh, but she is starting to lose patience: she really, really needs to sell this house and move on.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 14th November, 2024

In which we learn that grandparents may spoil children really badly or really well.

Characters: Susan, Neil, George, Pat, Tony
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Mel Ward
Editor: Jeremy Howe

In the car, Neil and Susan are not really looking forward to their imminent visit to George; seeing him is fine, seeing the prison not so great, as far as Susan is concerned. They are both nervous, Neil on Susan's behalf as well as his own. They both think it is good he's agreed to let them visit him; they hope that means they can start repairing their relationship. Neil also hopes to steer him away from his dodgy new mates, though Susan feels they must tread carefully about that.

When they get in, Susan tries to hug George and then breathlessly and repeatedly apologises for having upset him. The visit proceeds very awkwardly indeed, with neither grandparent knowing what to say and George giving snippy or unpleasant answers to every overture; he clearly blames them for having put him in prison, and says as much. He doesn't want anyone to hear Susan say she loves him, but denies that anyone is threatening him; Susan apologises for saying she loves him. George tells her that's fine and to chill. More overtures from Neil and then from Susan are met with silence, or non-committal or rude replies. He has clearly got no interest in being told about anything that is happening (or, like the Christmas Show, not happening) in Ambridge.

According to Pat, the new (still nameless) goat is a very handsome buck [very Georgette Heyer of her. Chris]; Tony questions whether any goat can be handsome: to Tony he just looks like any other goat, and certainly not like seven hundred and fifty quidsworth. Pat says it isn't like they can't afford it and it's all about Henry really. Tony does know that. They agree for a bit, and Pat eventually says that they don't want him ending up like George. Tony, emphatically, cannot see Henry turning out like George; ever-optimistic, Pat says you don't know, you just never know.

The ordeal by visit continues, with George managing to make Neil too apologise, for having asked a perfectly reasonable question which didn't suit George. Susan is called on to apologise repeatedly. George also apologises, for snapping at her. One of George's new 'mates' is in for GBH, but is all right when you get to know him and has been kind to George. Neil then tries to tell him that Emma was concerned about the company he's keeping inside, which gives George the opportunity to have a go at them: they send him to prison and then fret about the company he's keeping! Neil points out that they did not send him to prison, his own actions did that, and actions have consequences; George retorts that he didn't ask them to come: they wanted to see him and he said 'yes' because they made him feel bad. He knows they don't want to hear that but he's just being honest. Goaded, Neil remarks that now he decides to be honest; and George suggests angrily that maybe they should just go, and when Susan asks if that's what he wants he tells her it sort of is, yeah. She starts to prepare to leave, but Neil's dander is up and he wants his say; he asks if George knows what it cost Susan to visit him: she was nervous and shaking when they were on the way there. Susan tries to stop him, and says she doesn't think this is helping, but Neil doesn't care: George needs to hear this, because he doesn't know why they bothered. As Susan begs him not to say that, George tell him that he doesn't know why they bothered either, and when Susan tries to say that Neil does know, it's because they love George to bits, he demands to know whether she heard what he said about not saying that stuff, She sobs that she is sorry, and Neil, infuriated, asks why she is apologising when George is the one who should be doing that. /hatGeorge stands up and says he is going, he's had enough, and when Susan asks in distress where, snarls that he is going back to his cell, where else; he can't go down the shops, can he, or anywhere, because he's in prison, where she put him. And if anything bad happens to him in there, anything really bad, then it's all their fault: it's on both of them, so they can just think about that when they're driving home free as the birds. He slams out, and Susan sobs.

Pat wishes Helen would stop agonising and secure a mortgage for the Beechwood house, but Tony realises that the real problem is it's just not very 'her'. When Pat says that Helen does need somewhere to live, Tony takes a breath and starts to suggest his idea about the eco-house to her. She is initially unsure, especially when she realises he has talked to Tom first, but grasps what he is proposing. Her every doubt is answered by Tony, and she starts sounding almost enthusiastic, but then she gets cold feet: she doesn't really want to move out of their own home, an objection Tony meets by assuring her they'd have built an even better one. She is unhappy about the amount of work involved, and thinks they are too old. He does his best, but she's sorry: she thinks they're past it. He mentions that it is their fiftieth wedding anniversary next month, and they could build their beautiful passive house, he says lyrically, and live there very happily for maybe two more decades. Pat definitely isn't expecting to live that long.

The drive home is unhappy, and Susan is aware the visit was a disaster. She doesn't know what she can say to Emma, and, when Neil suggests keeping it vague, says she knows Emma will see right through that. Neil apologises for losing his patience with George, but Susan doesn't blame him: George was being horrible. The last thing he said is haunting her, and Neil reckons that's what George was trying to do, and she mustn't let him. She asks if he thinks George is that calculating, and Neil says he doesn't know; he feels he doesn't know George any more. Susan gets a message from Emma asking how it went, and while they are trying to decide what they ought to tell her, she rings up. Neil tells Susan to answer it; Susan protests that she will hear how bad it was in Susan's voice, and Neil says grimly that maybe she has to hear it; brokenly he adds that maybe there's no other way.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 15th November, 2024

Natasha makes the first move in the game of musical houses.

Characters: Jolene, Fallon, Helen, Natasha, Tom, Justin
Credited scriptwriter:
Katie Hims
Director:
Mel Ward
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Having been offered some shifts at The Bull, and gossiping with Jolene about Lynda not doing a show this Christmas and how that will affect the pub's profits, since people won't be coming in after rehearsals to gripe about Lynda's artistic vision, Fallon gets cold feet about being left alone behind the bar while Jolene changes a barrel. People are sure to ask why she's there, and what is she to say? Jolene is able to persuade her nobody will think any worse of her for not having taken the unit at the charging station. Then Justin comes in and Fallon is anxious again; luckily he is intercepted on his way to the bar by Cecil Jackson and will probably be delayed for half an hour listening to tales of woe about the bus service.

Tom and Natasha are having supper with Helen at the Beechwood house; the food is not yet ready so they start to talk while they wait. Nova and Seren are with Pat and Tony, and Helen is of the opinion that they were amazing at Peggy's birthday party, though Natasha muses that they might not have understood about her being one hundred when they think you're really old if you're five. Tom remembers that when he was a kid he was always wishing he could catch up with John, and now he has and in fact is way past him; he and Helen both become emotional about that and how sad it is, and Natasha is sympathetic when Helen apologises, telling her not to be sorry. Helen changes the subject by asking if Emma was OK this morning when Helen came to the tea room: she looked as if she'd been crying. Natasha explains that Emma had just heard George is now refusing to see any of his family ever again. Tom says bluntly that George is an idiot, and when Natasha exclaims against this defends his view, saying that he honestly has no sympathy. Natasha explains she has some sympathy for Emma, and Tom reluctantly says 'maybe'. Natasha asks Helen what she is doing about the house; Helen doubtfully asks 'this house' and Natasha confirms, this house.

When he finally gets to the bar Justin is friendly to Fallon, and cheerfully makes derogatory small talk about Cecil Jackson. He asks if Lilian is not about, explaining that he is to meet her, and Fallon says she is sure Lilian will be there soon. He then expresses surprise that Fallon is working at The Bull when she asks what she can get him to drink. She tells him she is just helping out and he says 'I see' in a way which makes it clear that he sees only too well. Fallon becomes mildly defensive, and Justin asks for a pint of Shires. As she pours it for him he tells her that he was sorry the unit at the charging station didn't work out for her in the end: he feels frustrated about it, to be honest. Fallon replies equably that it's just one of those things, isn't it. Justin realises he should get a G&T for Lilian as well, so it is ready for her when she arrives, and asks what Fallon is going to do now. She tells him that she has some work at The Bull and Natasha has offered her a couple of shifts at the tea room. Justin seems shocked, and hopes to goodness she said no to that! Fallon hasn't said either way, but will probably say yes because she doesn't have many options right now. Justin says she can't go back to the tea room, honestly, but she points out she doesn't have much choice, to which he responds 'no, no, no, no,' and asserts there is always a choice. She tells him that's not true: it might be, for people with significant resources, but that isn't her.

Now on the subject of the house-sale, Helen claims she doesn't know what to do for the best and is thinking about nothing else at the moment. She whinges that she is going to have to borrow even more to pay for repairs [she noticed Kirsty refusing to lower the price? Gosh. Chris] and interest rates are so high it's a lousy time to be getting a mortgage. Natasha surprises everyone by saying that she thinks if the mortgage payments are too much, Helen shouldn't take it on. If it's keeping her awake at night it's not worth it.

Aware that he is stating the blooming obvious by telling Fallon that you can't get ahead by going backwards, Justin does so anyway. Fallon insists that she had to be realistic about the EV charging station not working out for her and that you don't get anywhere by bankrupting yourself. Justin says well, yes and no; she may or may not know that he was actually bankrupt once, some years ago. Fallon is impressed and makes sympathetic remarks as he tells her it was a hellish time and he was at absolute rock-bottom at one time, not just financially but psychologically, but there was something about a clean slate, starting from scratch, thinking radically, thinking completely out of the box; he didn't have any other option. It was sheer desperation that made him come up with something new. [Like persuading his wife to bail him out; see Miranda's conversation with Brian on 19th March, 2024. Chris.] In many ways it made him what he is now. Fallon asks where that leaves her, and Justin suggests that taking the easy option and tiding yourself over with jobs here and there, you don't give yourself the time and space to come up with a new plan. Fallon mentions that she has to eat, and Justin makes a getaway by claiming that Cecil Jackson is heading their way and he can't cope with any more of his chat. He's going to hide in the Ploughman's; will Fallon direct Lilian his way when she turns up? But let's talk again soon, Fallon: he'd like to help, really he would. Fallon thanks him politely. Jolene, coming back, asks how Justin was, and Fallon says wonderingly that he was nice, and sympathetic; Jolene asks brusquely whether he apologised, but Fallon isn't sure he needs to, and is glad he took her seriously; Jolene wants to know why he shouldn't and assures Fallon that she can do something big, something proper, and she will: they all think that.

On their drive home Natasha and Tom discuss good sibling relationships and then the Beechwood house; Tom was surprised Natasha was telling Helen to be cautious about her mortgage, since Natasha is usually pretty gung-ho about credit. Natasha denies that she knows what he means and has a quick snipe at him as being neurotic about their finances, which he in turn denies. After a bicker over their differences about managing money, Tom points out that the mortgage is Helen's decision and nothing to do with them, and Natasha enters the caveat that it is if Helen doesn't want the house: Natasha would love them to buy it. Tom is clearly not keen, even though she says she really likes it and that it has a really nice feel; he says in disdain that it is on a housing estate. He's not saying there's anything wrong with housing estates as such, he just doesn't want to live on one. He grew up on a farm and thinks he'd feel claustrophobic in a place like that; he can see why Helen isn't too sure. Natasha argues that the house is surrounded by fields, but he disagrees: it's surrounded by other houses. When she persists, he asks in disbelief if she is serious about this, and discovers that yes, no, she's just thinking out loud. He intimates that the only way they could afford it is to sell Summer Orchard and she has said she doesn't really want to do that; she concedes that is the case, and when he says that she could reconsider says that no, that was just a moment of madness. She adds wistfully that she can just see Seren and Nova running around in that garden; there's so much space and it hardly needs any work. Tom disputes that and says it needs loads of work, according to Helen, and, when Natasha says only about twenty grand, says sarcastically that's nothing. She reckons they could add that to the mortgage, and it's just something to think about. Tom comes up with another argument: if Helen can't afford to buy it and then they snap it up, how is Helen going to feel? Natasha dismissively says she's sure Helen could afford it if she really wanted to, but she doesn't, because she clearly doesn't really like the house. Natasha does.

Once the pub is closed and Jolene and Fallon are clearing up, Fallon admits to her mother that it was fine behind the bar and no-one asked her awkward questions about why she was there. She also thinks Justin is right and she can't go forwards by going backwards [remember when you worked behind the bar at the Bull, Fallon? Doing so again isn't going backwards, is it. Chris] so she's not going to take those shifts at the tea room. Jolene thinks that's probably the right decision: Natasha was driving Fallon mad anyway, and Jolene thinks she can do a lot better than returning to her old job. So does Fallon, breathily, and Jolene goes on to say that honestly, she thinks the world is Fallon's oyster.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 17th November, 2024

No mustard, no kitchen, no spine, no clue.

Characters: Ruth, Jolene, Brad, Tracy, Fallon, Justin
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

By happy fortuity, while seeking emergency mustard at the village shop Ruth bumps into Jolene, with whom she shares her sorrow that a Silver Wedding party for thirty which has been let down by their original venue going bankrupt can't come instead to the events barn at Brookfield: it's on this Tuesday, and that's far too short notice for Ruth, who is in any case out on Monday at a lunch celebrating Borsetshire's Hereford Society's sixtieth anniversary and making an award to David, who is the guest of honour. Also the barn is booked for a big wedding this Saturday [and can only be used once a week, it seems. Chris]. Before Ruth can ring straight back to tell the potential customer they can't do it, Jolene has a brainwave and suggests she should talk to Fallon first. Ruth asks doubtfully whether Jolene thinks Fallon could organise it, and Jolene feels sure that if she is free, she definitely could; also, she is at home to be consulted

The university course work is harder for Brad than his A-level work was, and Tracy feels that his also working for George might be pushing it by distracting him. Brad denies that George is piling pressure on him, but that is what Tracy would call it, and she is not pleased when Brad says he can't abandon George, pointing out that George would abandon him if it were the other way round, though Brad doesn't think she can know that. She's not happy that Brad is still planning to visit George next week, either. At this critical moment the phone rings, and is George calling Brad at a prearranged time; Brad says he won't like it if Tracy is listening, so Tracy goes off to work.

The idea of catering for the Silver Wedding Party is absolutely delightful to Fallon, who is sure she can manage it even though it's not just the catering but also all the liaison with the client. Ruth tells her that the most she and David can do is run the bar on the night, an offer which Fallon gratefully accepts. She says it will be great to be working with Ruth again and mentions the hen night having worked brilliantly. She will get back to Ruth after she's talked with the client, and they'll sort out details then.

At The Bull, Tracy is getting seventy-eight thirty-five from Justin for the lunch he has just enjoyed with Lilian. As he pays, Justin asks whether Brad is available to make another video, and Tracy more-or-less says no and explains that he is busy with university work. Justin refuses to take this as definitive and gets the number of Tracy's house out of her before he goes. Meanwhile Jolene and Fallon are rejoicing over Fallon having been given the job by Ruth, though Fallon is slightly put-about by it having expanded from thirty to fifty guests with the larger venue, since Danielle and Calvin want to add more guests now that they can. This is great in terms of money, but Fallon's kitchen is not big enough to cope with those sorts of numbers: thirty was pushing it. Fallon has come to ask her mother for a big favour. Would Wayne mind her using the kitchen at The Bull? Jolene at first says she doesn't see why not, under the impression they are talking about Thursday, but, when Fallon corrects that to Tuesday, realises it won't be possible because the pub is hosting a motorbike rally that day. Fallon is momentarily cast down, but rallies and tells Jolene not to worry about it. Tracy suggests the farmhouse kitchen at Brookfield as an alternative, and she and Jolene decide that's a possibility, so Fallon mentions her other problem: if she's catering for so many she's going to need a helper; Tracy volunteers Chelsea for this, and offers to text her, but Fallon needs to talk to Ruth first: if she can't get a kitchen the whole thing's off.

Unfortunately Ruth is entirely unwilling to be helpful, first declining to talk about it at all on the grounds that she needs to bring the cows in and then, when Fallon walks up with her to collect them and talks as they go, incredulous that Fallon might want to use the Brookfield kitchen to cater for an event happening at Brookfield. She says accusingly that Fallon did say that she was going to take everything on, and crossly reminds her that she told Fallon how busy they were, and that she and David are going to lose a large part of Monday to being out to lunch [what has that to do with the use of the kitchen on Tuesday? Chris]; if she'd known there were going to be all these problems she wouldn't have accepted the booking at all. Fallon placates her, saying that she is sorry to ask, and Ruth suggests they should just contact Natasha, which draws a horrified exclamation of 'No!' from Fallon. Ruth grumbles peevishly that they've got proper facilities at the tea room, and Fallon begs her not to hand over Fallon's job to Natasha. Ruth then wants Fallon to rent a kitchen somewhere, which is clearly not going to be feasible since there isn't one in the area. Fallon promises her she won't need any input from anyone there, just the use of the kitchen, from say ten am. Ruth is really not keen, and says that the main problem is that it's Jill they have to persuade: although Ruth and David do most of the cooking these days, Jill still sees the kitchen as her domain. Ruth grudgingly agrees to explain the problem to Jill and ask her. She's not promising anything. Fallon implores her to get back to Fallon as quickly as possible. She agrees to ring Fallon after milking.

Justin's proposition to Brad is that he should make a video about Ambridge Rewilding for Justin to send to a shooting friend of his who has introduced beavers to his property in Scotland, so that his advice about the project can be sought. Brad is reluctant on the grounds that he is 'actually quite busy' and also that he is no good with the drone, but Justin is very determined and bulldozes him into agreement: how hard can it be?

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 18th November, 2024

A dead house-transaction, a dead cat, a dead van, and the lawn's not looking too good.

Characters: Helen, Azra, Kirsty, Jakob, Joy, Mick
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

When Azra opens her door and Helen asks if it is a good time, Azra simply says 'no', but then [disappointingly. Chris] relents and invites Helen in. What Helen came over for was to give Azra a book of twenty easy local walks. Helen is a little surprised at the idea Azra is having Hilda for the day as a 'trial cat'. Hilda has revealed her talents: she has left two dead mice laid out 'like a ritual sacrifice' on the floor of the living room, to Azra's horror. Helen says mice can be an issue in the Beechwood houses because of being so close to farmland, which had never occurred to Azra. Her idea of giving Hilda a treat as a reward is foiled by Hilda not being there; Helen suggests she may have gone out through the open window. she advises Azra not to worry if Hilda doesn't turn up: she will probably have gone home to Bridge Farm across the fields. Azra hopes she hasn't, because she hasn't yet had a chance to cosy up to the cat; Helen advises her not to try to cuddle the animal and warns her about Hilda's general reputation. According to Tom, Helen explains, Hilda may look like a cat but is in fact a demon in feline form, sent to earth to do the devil's work, which Helen is pretty sure Khalil knows. Azra at once divines Khalil's plot to use the awfulness of Hilda as a lever to get him chickens. Helen attributes some of the blame to Henry having a new goat. As she prepares to leave and let Azra get on with the work she was doing, Azra warns her about a strange, scruffy chap in a cap who came to the door offering to sell her a turkey; Helen is able to tell her that this was Eddie Grundy from Grange Farm, who has been rearing turkeys for as long as Helen can remember. This reassures Azra, who was afraid he was casing the joint with a view to later burglary; Helen tells her that Eddie might sail near the wind sometimes but he's a good guy. Helen then sees Kirsty at her house, and hurries off.

Rather than discuss what Kirsty is there for, she and Helen talk about the idea of having beavers at the rewilding site, and Brad making a video to send to someone asking for advice about it, and that there will probably be a lot of local opposition to the idea. Eventually Kirsty asks Helen whether she wants to buy the house or not: Kirsty has dragged it out for as long as she can and she's sorry, but she needs an answer, today. After a pause and a sigh, Helen tells her that in that case, it has to be 'no'. Kirsty accepts this, but Helen goes on to exonerate herself: she just can't get the sums to add up. Kirsty responds by saying she'll have to put it on the open market, then, which is a shame, then asks what Helen and the boys are going to do; Helen doesn't really know, but they'll have a bit of time, won't they? [Sunday 10th November, 2024: 'Tony asks if she knows they are always welcome to move back into Bridge Farm.' Chris.] Kirsty reminds her that house-selling is never a quick process, and Helen says she is sure they'll sort something out.

Jakob has run over a cat, and Azra sees there has been an accident, and then, unhappily, fears that the victim is Hilda. They introduce themselves, and Jakob says the cat does look like Hilda but he's pretty sure it isn't. He'll take her back to the surgery and check the microchip. Azra wants to come with him: if it was Hilda, she was meant to be looking after her and she feels responsible.

Joy and Helen meet in the road, and Helen breaks it to Joy that because of the bad news brought by Kirsty, Helen is going to be moving out of the house next door to her. She then back-pedals and says it's not Kirsty's fault that she's under pressure to seal the deal, and in the end the numbers just didn't add up for Helen. Joy is sad to lose her as a neighbour, and Mick asks where Helen and the boys are going to go, and adds that he's just had his marching orders too: after nearly six months, Oliver has said he can't stay in the Grey Gables car-park in his van. Helen asks what he's going to do, and Joy at once says it's obvious: park it on her drive. Mick thinks that would be brilliant, but there's just one problem: the van's gear-box has seized up. Helen at once volunteers Tony to tow it over for him using the tractor. She's on her way to the farm now, so she can ask at once.

Azra is feeling awful and worrying about what she can say to Pat and Tony, but Jakob insists they must be sure about facts first. Extensive scanning reveals no microchip, so he doesn't think the cat can be Hilda; he knows that she does have one, as is now a legal requirement. In his professional opinion it is most unlikely this cat is Hilda. Azra is greatly relieved, though sorry, of course, for the person whose cat has been killed. She asks what happens now, and he tells her they try to find out whose cat it is by advertising and asking around, while keeping the body frozen in storage, and if nobody has claimed it in three months they cremate it at the licensed veterinary crematorium in Galton. Azra does her best to console him for the unpleasantness of having run over and killed a cat that ran under his car's wheels; he says bitterly that vets are supposed to save animals, not mow them down, though he did try his best to avoid it. He admits he is stressed, and will talk to Kate tonight about booking a holiday.

Tony has been to Beechwood and gone again, and Helen says he will come back tomorrow in the light and assess the damage. Mick says it was his fault, and Helen points out that Tony was driving. As the point is being debated Kirsty arrives and exclaims in horror: her lawn! How did that happen? Mick explains there was a bit of a miscommunication, and Kirsty is not at all happy about it: she came to tell Helen that the estate agent is due to come and take pictures and will need to put her off, because she can't have great gouges in her lawn for that. Mick promises that he will sort it out, as quickly as possible

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 19th November, 2024

Team work, team work; it's the product of a mutual esteem work.

Characters: Emma, Tracy, Brad, Ruth, Fallon, Kirsty
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Having heard that Chelsea is unwell, Clarrie has dispatched Emma with a herbal remedy which Clarrie's mother used to give her when she had a tummy-ache. Tracy takes it up to Chelsea at once, leaving Emma with Brad, who is definitely uncomfortable with her quizzing him about George, even though it is leavened by her with praise and thanks to him for staying in contact when she can't. When she asks whether George talks about prison at all, Brad says that he thinks George prefers not to: when they talk it's George's connection to the outside world. But he promises that George does seem to be all right. Emma is worried that George may be lowering himself to the level of the other prisoners, and Brad claims to be ignorant about that. Tracy comes back down and tells Emma that Chelsea says to thank Clarrie, then chivvies Brad about getting his video gear and drone ready because Kirsty will be picking him up soon. He goes to check the batteries, which have been on charge, and Emma calls after him to thank him for that too, keeping George's business going. Emma tells Tracy it will mean such a lot to George, having something to come back to, but Tracy is not happy: she is worried about Brad and feels that the video stuff may be important to George, and so to Emma, but Brad's first term at university is important and he needs to concentrate on his studies. Emma doesn't want to hear what Tracy is trying to tell her, and just says that Brad is so bright: surely he can fit in the occasional phone call. She then pleads with Tracy to realise that if it weren't for Brad, they'd have no idea what was happening to George; Tracy does know that, but all this work Justin Elliott is giving Brad doesn't help, and his Grey Gables shifts too: it all takes time. Emma has no answer for this, so she says she'll pass on the message to Clarrie and prepares to leave; just as she is going, Tracy lets fall that Chelsea was meant to be working all day.

In the kitchen at Brookfield, Ruth is giving Fallon her orders about its use, all glossed as 'Jill particularly wants' by Ruth. Leonard has taken Jill out for as long as possible and Ruth hopes he may manage to keep her out all day: he thought they might go to Cheltenham. One thing they must insist on, Ruth continues: Jill hates it if things aren't in the right place, so perhaps Fallon could take some photographs before she starts, to make sure she knows where everything ought to be put back to. She then goes off to open a new bale of silage for the milkers and leaves Fallon to get on with her job.

Kirsty and Brad agree that he will do the aerial shots first and she will take notes about what she wants to say to go with each section, and they will then fit the two together. Kirsty was slightly delayed by arranging a new time for the agent to come and measure up the Beechwood house, but that has given Brad time to set up the drone.

Fallon is busy working when Ruth comes back in wanting a cup of coffee and is put out that Fallon is using both the hotplates on the range, but condescends to use the electric kettle instead for once. Ruth notes that Fallon is on her own with no Chelsea helping her [which is just as well if Chelsea has an upset stomach and Fallon is preparing food, eh? Chris], and wants to know how she is going to cope single-handed, to which Fallon replies that she will because she has to and knows she can expect no help from Ruth. Ruth mutters that she knew they should never have taken this booking, just as there is a knock at the door: it's Emma, who has come to offer her services as Chelsea's replacement, if Fallon will have her. She tried to ring and got no answer. Fallon accepts her offer, and Ruth calls her a life-saver. She is prepared to do whatever Fallon needs, including serving in the evening. Fallon thanks her, and asks her to wash her hands, grab an apron and start on the filling for the mini pasties.

Kirsty is recording for her voice-over; we learn that the rewilding has a brook running through it which debouches into the Am and that is where they plan to put the beavers. Brad knows that he now faces a lot of work editing it all, and knows he finds that difficult, but Kirsty offers to help him with it. He gratefully tells her that would be brilliant.

Emma and Fallon are working hard, feeding what Emma calls a herd of locusts and Fallon corrects to a swarm; they seem to be having a good time, and working well together. Ruth checks up on them, but they are too busy to pay much attention to her until Fallon pauses to ask if she is happy; she temporises but admits that she is.

The bikers' gathering at The Bull is in full swing when Kirsty brings Brad in for a drink, telling Tracy she has never seen so many motorbikes in one place. Tracy tries to start a complaint about how much time doing the video has taken, a whole day, but Kirsty interrupts to say they haven't finished yet but they're on the right track and Brad's doing a great job. Tracy is left with nothing much to say.

After the work of the evening is over Emma is shattered and Ruth offers to make a cup of tea. Fallon brings in the last of the washing-up and tells them David has nearly finished in the bar, and Ruth suggests they all sit down for a minute, which suits Fallon and Emma. The three women laugh together about David's award on the dresser, and Fallon thinks it's no wonder he's in such a good mood. Emma feels the night went well, though Danielle is hard work and neither she nor Fallon sees the marriage lasting another twenty-five years: Calvin has a lot to put up with. Ruth proclaims that the evening was a success in the end, but then finds it necessary to tell Fallon that she has to be straight with her: she and David agreed they got away with it this time but they won't be able to use Fallon again until she is properly set up. Emma tries to argue with this harsh judgement but Fallon accepts that she can't carry on using borrowed kitchens. Ruth is relieved she understands. Fallon declares that she has to get her business onto a proper footing,and vows that is what she is going to do.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 20th November, 2024

Azra spurns a gift and Kenton opens his mouth without engaging his brain.

Characters: Azra, Helen, Jolene, Mick, Tony, Kenton
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Azra has come to the Bridge Farm shop for provisions and is served by Helen, who is filling in during Anya's lunch-hour. She sees the poster for Jack's school Christmas Fair and is told about Ian's involvement in the PTA, and her attempt to steer clear by saying she is unsure what days she'll be working that week is foiled by Helen pointing out that it's on a Saturday. [So she can see the week on the poster, but not the day? Hah. Chris.] Azra then mentions her scare with Hilda and that Khalil's plot has worked: she has completely gone off the idea of a cat now she has realised how uncontrollable they are. Azra then diffidently asks Helen something: is that camper-van next door to Helen going to be there for long?

Like a good landlady, Jolene is chatting with a 'punter', in this case Mick; she is telling him about Fallon's successful catering venture at Brookfield. She is fed up because she's been trying to take a photo of their skittle alley [the boules piste as was? Chris] for the Borchester Echo's piece on traditional pub pastimes, and is finding it difficult. Mick can see that must be frustrating. He has come straight from work and is exercised about how he is becoming bored with having a steady job: he's had more interesting baths than his day there today. He was very pleased to pass the interview and get a 'proper grown-up job', but he is now missing his days as a roadie; back then it was easy to move on if he got itchy feet, but with Joy in his life he can't do that now . Jolene, of course understands exactly from her own experience [though she attributes no longer gigging to her job and not to her having no voice left worth listening to. Chris], and then, prompted by Mick, explains how she came to be at The Bull and married to Kenton, after having a talk with herself and persuading herself that those days were great but they were over and it was time to settle down. She still has the occasional pang, even so. Mick comments that marrying a lovely woman who runs a pub is every man's dream, and Jolene agrees that if you put it like that, Kenton did pretty well out of the deal. Mick hastily adds that Jolene is not to get him wrong, Joy's been the best thing that's happened to him for a very long time and he wouldn't change that. Maybe he needs to have a talk with himself the way Jolene did. He then asks for a look at the photos of the skittle alley, and at once sees what is wrong with them: it's basically a long dark tunnel, isn't it. Jolene likens it to a passageway to Hell, and Mick asks if he could make a suggestion.

As she leaves the shop Azra runs into Tony and asks after Hilda's well-being; he is resigned about the animal ruling the roost as ever. He hasn't seen much of her today but she's fine, he says. Azra tells him she's been hearing all about Henry's goat-husbandry, which she thinks sounds impressive. Khalil keeps talking to her about wanting chickens, which she thinks sound like an awful lot of faff although the idea of fresh eggs is appealing. Tony, never reluctant to contribute a bit of pessimism, suggests she should think about it very carefully: if you keep chickens the fox is always a worry, and nowadays you can add avian flu to that. As she agrees that she supposes so, he adds that the feed can attract mice and rats. She is shocked and surprised, and tells him that she's only just got rid of two mice, thanks to Hilda. Tony chuckles and says 'talk of the Devil' as Hilda comes up to them bearing a dead mouse, which she presents to Azra. Azra is not in the least grateful, though Tony says he thinks Hilda likes her: she can manage without that sort of admiration, thank you very much. The combination of dead mouse and a strange smell lead her to say that she'd better get on; she asks if Tony can't smell it, but he sniffs hard and says no, not really: the occasional whiff of the countryside is a fact of farming life.

The photos in Jolene's second batch are fantastic, according to Kenton, so much better than her first lot; Jolene agrees but tells him that Mick is the person he should be praising. Mick says self-deprecatingly that he's done a fair bit of lighting over the years and the alley just needed a bit of brightening up. Kenton offers Mick a pint on the house, or even a couple of pints, as payment, but Mick will take him up on that some other time: he has to be at Joy's house to take delivery of some turf to repair Kirsty's lawn. Kenton, interested, asks if he does gardening as well as security and is told that the lawn got a bit chewed up while they were getting Mick's van onto Joy's drive. Kenton is surprised: he thought Mick kept it at Grey Gables, and Jolene explains that Oliver asked Mick to move it. Kenton misunderstands: so Mick has moved in with Joy? No, no, Mick swiftly corrects him, he's still living in the van, just on Joy's driveway now. He is not sure that will go well, though; the van may not be welcome at Beechwood, and Joy tells him there have already been a few comments on the WhatsApp. Kenton decries the miserable lot living at Beechwood, and has a brainwave: why doesn't Mick bring it to The Bull? Jolene is clearly not keen, but Kenton says he could stick it in the car-park. Mick seems to realise this isn't a unanimous offer and says he's not sure, but Kenton is pressing, and Mick suggests that if there were any trouble he could be their unofficial bouncer, which Kenton laughingly tells him would be a bonus. Jolene makes it clear that it would have to be a temporary arrangement, and Mick replies that once he's fixed the gear-box there's lots of places he could move it to. They agree that's a deal, and Mick reckons Joy will be chuffed because it gets her out of trouble with her neighbours.

Tony is aware that the smell of male goat is strong and fears it might put off their customers at the shop. Helen refers to the animal as 'Hero' and explains that Henry thought 'Messi' would be easily misinterpreted in English, but is not there to discuss the animal; she wants to ask him to make amends about moving Mick's van via Kirsty's lawn.

The van has been moved to The Bull, and while Mick is very enthusiastic and rushes off to set up a mains cable, Jolene can see why Joy was keen to get rid of it: it's a bit of an eyesore, she confides to Kenton. Kenton agrees, but says that at least it's tucked away in the corner. Jolene consoles herself that like they said, it is only temporary. Ain't it, she adds.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 21st November, 2024

One vehicle is resurrected, while another receives Extreme Unction.

Characters: David, Leonard, Kenton, Jolene, Mick, Ruth
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

To Leonard, spannelling in the machine-shed at Brookfield, enter David, who at first fails to recognise the bicycle Leonard is working on. They briefly mention the farm protest in London, and David says both that it is the largest farmers' demo he's seen [an estimated 'as many as 20,000' as against the 407,791 at the Liberty and Livelihood one on September 22, 2002. Chris] and that there is a lot of anger about this new inheritance tax on farms. Leonard mildly suggests 'they' need taxes to pay for things like the NHS. He explains he was looking for something he needed to make a repair for Jill when he came across the bicycle, which David finally realises used to belong to Josh. The two men reminisce about their childhood bicycling, and Leonard about his later experiences as a bicyclist: he was a member of a cycling club for years, doing sixty-mile rides on Sunday mornings. He doesn't know why he gave it up.

Fortunately Jolene is woken by Kenton with a cup of tea at half past seven, just before Mick starts work in the car-park on his van. She tells Kenton to stop the hammering. Mick's response is to ask if Kenton has a fourteen mil socket by any chance; Jolene moans.

The bicycle having been (in Leonard's word) fettled, Leonard is riding it and showing off to David and Ruth. Ruth is surprised it's in such good condition, and David tells her she should have seen it this morning as well as that Leonard was a serious cyclist in his young days. When Leonard comes back and dismounts, David tells him that Josh says he has no use for the machine, so Leonard is welcome to keep it. Leonard takes this as a sign that he should get a bit more exercise: this is the perfect opportunity. Do they need anything from the shop?

Kenton is now helping Mick while Mick works, and gossiping about this and that: Tracy is worried about Brad spreading himself too thin trying to keep George Grundy's business going – Kenton wouldn't care if it went bust. Mick was pleased with the repair to Kirsty's lawn. Leonard joins them, though not to help, just as an onlooker, and Kenton introduces him and Mick. Leonard mentions having to get some 'proper togs' now, because he couldn't get away with his old big shorts and jersey even if he could find them, and Mick offers him Joy's old helmet and hi-vis jacket, if they fit him. Leonard is about to go to the shop, where she is working, so he will ask her. They are still working when Jolene comes out wanting Kenton to come in and wash because she is about to open the pub.

David tells the slightly puffed Leonard that it is a significant day: Ruth will be keeping the cows in overnight, though they are not yet in for the winter. David extols the merit of home-grown grass for feed, but it has to be balanced against the damage to the pasture when it gets muddy later in the year. Leonard remembers 'poaching' as what cows' hooves do to sodden pasture, and Ruth thanks him for getting the butter. She asks if the bike is living up to expectations, and he says yes but seems a little doubtful: the bike is running fine, but he thought he was going to expire the moment he came to the tiniest hill. [Brookfield is up a rise from the Am: the shop was flooded, Brookfield – apart from the milking parlour – wasn't. Chris.] He wants to offer them, and of course Josh, drinks at the pub this evening, since they won't let him pay for the bike. Ruth declines, but David happily accepts.

Mick is crowing that he could get used to this, a pub on his doorstep: they might never get rid of him, he jokes. Jolene is very obviously not amused, and when he tells her (before he heads off to work) that the gearbox is dismantled now, but since he needs to keep all the bits under cover he has put them into the lean-to at the back where they keep the crates of empties. Kenton is sure that well be fine, and Jolene's more doubtful 'we-e-ell' is drowned out by Mick expressing his gratitude for everything; Kenton tells him he is welcome. To show his appreciation, Mick is pretty sure he has persuaded his mate Errol to have his birthday party at The Bull, and ass Jolene and Kenton are saying how great that is David and Leonard arrive, with David saying that Josh is on his way. Leonard tells Mick he will be going over to Joy's place later, and explains to David that she might be able to let him have some old cycling kit. Mick continues what he was saying to Jolene and Kenton: if Errol likes the pub, there's a good chance he'll bring his mates there for the Christmas do as well. He then gets off to work, leaving Kenton to say they have two extra bookings already and Jolene to correct this to 'possible bookings, Kenton'. Kenton adds that she has to admit the Echo feature is excellent, with The Bull front and centre; Jolene doesn't deny it, but it doesn't get away from the fact that they've got a ratty old crock on their doorstep. Kenton quips she ought not to talk about Dave like that, but Jolene sticks to what she is saying: and already bits of it are spreading around the pub. Since Leonard has seen it with the bonnet off, Kenton asks him for his honest opinion: if you ask Kenton, it looks pretty kaput and he's not convinced it will ever run again. Jolene implores him not to say that. He says he could be wrong; Jolene hopes so, and goes to serve someone. David enquires 'Another fine mess, Kenton?' and Kenton tells him not to start. He then bestirs himself to serve David, Leonard and the absent Josh, and asks Leonard how he is getting on with the bike; Leonard says well except for the hills, and is treated to the tale of a woman older than him, the Gleeson twins' aunt Velma, who rides an electric bike to get her up those. Shocked, Leonard describes that as 'cheating'. When he gets to a hill, he'll just jump off and push. Heavily, David tells him to make sure he doesn't overdo it.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 22nd November, 2024

In which disappointment turns to elation, and vice versa.

Characters: Brad, Justin, Kenton, Jolene, Joy, Mick
Credited scriptwriter:
Keri Davies
Director:
Kim Greengrass
Editor: Jeremy Howe

In order to emphasise his evil tendencies, Justin has rung Brad to tear him off a strip about the quality of the video for Rewilding Ambridge, and insists on doing so even though Brad is about to go into a seminar. His point, when he finally gets to it, is that they can't send the video to his friend Innes as it is: it will have to be re-edited. Brad breaks it to him that Kirsty has already sent it. Justin gobbles for a bit about Kirsty and violations of business protocol, then informs Brad that if this is the standard he comes up with, he can forget the chance of any more work with [he means 'from'. Chris] Justin.

In conversation at The Bull, Jolene tells Kenton about Fallon's thoughts of converting the brick shed at the bottom of Woodbine Cottage garden into a kitchen, just as Joy comes over to the bar to meet Mick, with whom she is going to have a meal at the pub. He has booked a table but is not yet there, and Kenton takes advantage of his absence to invent a conversation he and Jolene have been having about relationships and how wonderful it is when you find the right person, which he works round to Joy and Mick being a good example of a couple who go through life together; Jolene backs up this monstrous tosh. Joy says it's nice of them to think so, and Kenton presses on to ask if they have ever thought about living together. Joy confides that she used to think she'd never share a house with anyone ever again, but she has started to wonder. Mick's always so kind and helpful and they get on really well – Kenton tells her everyone can see that – and he's brilliant to have around – Jolene says he's a diamond, and they've always said so, haven't they, Kenton; Kenton asserts that he's a prince among men, but their transparent attempt to influence her is interrupted by Justin coming into the pub and wanting service. He asks for a double scotch and for a tab to be opened, and whilst Jolene goes to deal with that Joy prompts Kenton to continue what he was saying to her. He continues to try to sell Joy on the idea of inviting Mick to live in her house, but is interrupted again, this time by Mick arriving. Joy starts to tell him that they were just saying... when Jolene interjects that the soup of the day is minestrone, and gives Justin his large whisky. Joy thinks she'll look at the food before getting a drink, and Jolene says they are on Table Nine, in the alcove, so they take their menus there. They are replaced at the bar by Brad, whom Justin has arranged to meet; he asks for half of lemonade, and, while Jolene goes to get it, Justin asks how his seminar was but is then obviously out of his depth when Brad starts to tell him about it. Justin suggests grabbing a table while one is still free, and Kenton and Jolene are left wondering what it going on before reverting to their concern about Mick. Jolene feels that it isn't really Mick that's the problem, just his van. Kenton can see that, but thinks that once Mick has a proper roof over his head he can just sell it; Jolene, more practical, can't see who would buy a dilapidated non-runner like that. Kenton suggests that the seed has now been sown, and they must just go one step at a time.

It seems that Justin has heard from Innes, who has told him that Brad and Kirsty's video was exactly what he wanted, and it was excellent to have such a clear overview of the terrain, and found Kirsty's voice-over relevant and concise. Justin describes this as victory snatched from the jaws of defeat. He has made it clear to Kirsty that he would have preferred to view the finished product but it seems that Brad and Kirsty had a feel for what was needed, and Justin hopes he's man enough to admit it. In the light of this he is going to entrust Brad with another job – one which will be extremely inconvenient for Brad to do, but which Justin insists he must cut at least one lecture for.

Joy has given her cycling gear to Leonard because it was cluttering up her 'utility', and she thanks Mick for telling him about it. She asks how Mick's day was, and he tells her they are hosting a conference about AI, which is probably why Oliver wanted Mick's van gone from the staff car-park. Joy considers it to have been so nice of Jolene and Kenton to let him move it to the pub; Mick is less grateful, because a pub car-park is not the quietest of places, and he works shifts. It's been messing with his sleep a bit. [He's been there for two nights. Chris.] He plans to buy some ear-plugs. Joy suggests there might be an alternative, and doesn't mean white noise, which Mick has tried without success. She thinks is seems daft him spending most of his time at hers and then coming back to the van; wouldn't it make more sense if he moved in with her? He jibs, and she hastily explains she's not suggesting it just because it's more practical: she thinks she'd like it. He thinks it a generous offer and tells her he loves her; maybe some time in the future he could see them getting together and he'd like that, but not like this. He doesn't want to be taken in just because he's a waif and stray. For now he's just loving seeing her most days. How about maybe waiting till he's got the van fixed, and when he's got options they can talk again on equal terms. She tells him that he is a very decent man, noble in fact, and that's one of the reasons she loves him too, very much. And now all this serious talk is making her hungry, and she's going to have the fish and chips; Mick says chicken for him and goes off to the bar to order those and a bottle of white.

Jolene and Kenton are eager to hear what has been going on at Table Nine, and, so keen are they to think their plotting has paid off, that before Mick gets beyond Joy having invited him to live in her house they start to congratulate Mick in terms which make it fairly clear they don't want him in their car-park. When he goes on to tell them he said no to Joy's offer they, in particular Kenton, are caught on the wrong foot. Because of Kenton saying that he wasn't really thinking when he said Mick could stay there, and Jolene that it was a nice idea, Mick is aware they may not want him and asks if him staying in the van for now and says so; Jolene and Kenton then feel they have to be effusive in their pleasure to have him remain, and make excuses for what they said before. He goes to ask Joy which white wine she wants to have, and they are left to realise how awkward that moment was. Jolene says mournfully that she thought it was all sorted there, and Kenton says ruefully that they were so near and yet so far.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 24th November, 2024

It is BBC Scam Aware week. Do not expect any particularly Archers-related content.

Characters: Faith, Chuck, Kate, Jakob
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

At half past four in the afternoon an American couple have had trouble finding the key to a cottage they have rented, which was not in a keysafe where the booking agent had said it would be but instead under a flowerpot near the door. Both are jetlagged. In a not-at-all stereotyped way the man, Chuck, is in a bad temper and complains about everything, while the woman, Faith, is determined to make the best of things and placate him; she is certainly delighted when she opens the fridge looking for milk to put in their coffee and finds it full of food including all the ingredients for supper: a nut roast, plenty of vegetables, and potatoes prepared ready for cooking. They are somewhat puzzled by how different it is from the pictures on the website where they booked it.

With the sound of footsteps on tarmac, Kate and Jakob walk onto the radio, arguing as they so often do, this time about a possible location for a holiday they are planning in the New Year; Jakob favours Finland and argues for it most eloquently, while Kate wants to go somewhere unspecified but warm: she is sick of the cold already this year. She is waxing lyrical about somewhere hot when Jakob abruptly asks whether she left the lights on in his cottage, and then notices a car parked outside it. He realises someone is in his cottage and wants to call the police, but Kate stops him: she opens the door and goes in to find out who's there.

Faith is working out how to go about cooking the food from the fridge when Kate and Jakob walk in and she drops a roasting tin. After inevitable confusion and some understandable ill-temper from Jakob about them being in his home, and indignation from Kate about her nut roast, it turns out that Faith and Chuck have booked the cottage for a week's stay using a website called BorsetshireBreaks dot com to do so. [Since the BBC did not register this site, James Cooper has. Chris.] Chuck is aggressive about this, Faith apologetic. Jakob rings Chris to find out if he knows anything about it, and Chuck tries, without success, to get hold of someone at the booking company. Kate offers to make everyone some tea. Chuck describes this as very British of her and starts to tell her they were about to make supper, but is headed off by Faith apologising about the nut roast; Kate says it's fine and that she will bring tea through to the living room, if they go and sit down there.

Chuck is still grumbling about the whole business, and the couple are now considering whether Jakob is in some way responsible; Faith wonders if he could have rented his home out and then forgotten, and Chuck replies that he is a bit odd but doesn't seem that odd. Unless, he adds, it's a trick and they have lured them there to take them hostage, but Faith thinks not: Jakob seems genuinely annoyed, and anyway if they were going to take them hostage surely they would have done it when they were asleep? Chuck reluctantly agrees but adds that it's hard to tell because he's never been taken hostage before.

Meanwhile Jakob has established that Chris doesn't know anything, and was quite alarmed by what is an alarming situation, and Kate has found the listing on the website; after a brief look, Jakob points out that the cottage illustrated as 'The Rookery, Ambridge' is not his cottage [it certainly isn't; for one thing Kate's cottage, given to Chris as part of Alice's divorce settlement and now rented by Jakob, was abruptly and retrospectively renamed The Hobbit recently, not The Rookery. Chris] but another place entirely. The two agree that the whole thing is weird. Jakob wonders if the two in the living room are con artists, but Kate can't see any pay-off if they are. Jakob says that he went out for a walk and came back to find someone in his kitchen cooking their nut-roast, and he is basically in The Three Bears. Kate tells him to breathe, and, when he says he is breathing, corrects him: he is spiralling. She knows this isn't ideal, but it has happened. They need to try and resolve it as best as they can [sic. Chris] for everyone. Jakob breathes heavily.

Chuck has started to worry about where they are to sleep for the night just before Kate comes in with two pots of tea, one English Breakfast and the other lavender and camomile, which she says is good for calming nerves. [And as an emetic. Gus.] Kate introduces herself and Jakob, and Faith herself and Chuck. Jakob tells everyone that the bottom line is that his cottage is not a holiday let, it's his home, so obviously they can't stay there; Faith accepts this, Chuck shows every sign of wanting to argue about it on the grounds that it is dark, they haven't slept for twenty-four hours, and they have paid good money to stay there. Jakob reminds him that they have not paid it to Jakob. Kate thinks that that Faith and Chuck should stay there for the night; she and Jakob can go to dad's. Jakob objects that Miranda will be there, so she falls back on suggesting one of the yurts (taking the opportunity to extol her Spiritual Home establishment to Faith, who is interested). Jakob interrupts her exposition to say that he is not moving into a yurt so that his home can be taken over by strangers – no offence, but they are complete strangers, and the problem with their booking is absolutely not his fault. Kate reproves him: it's late, Faith and Chuck must be shattered and they're in their seventies. [How does she know this? Chris.] They can't go looking for somewhere else now. She then tells Jakob not to be ridiculous for suggesting he ought to be like Mick and buy himself a van to move into. She over-rides his objections and tells Faith and Chuck they are to stay where they are, make themselves comfortable, have something to eat and then tomorrow they can sort something out. Chuck is entirely willing to say that works for him, leaving it to Faith to say thank you. Jakob stomps off to get his pyjamas and lock up his valuables, and Kate laughs and then says she is sure it's all been a misunderstanding and they are not to worry about a thing. Kate herself is quite looking forward to a night under canvas, and Jakob, she says firmly, will love it.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 25th November, 2024

The BBC says the nightmare continues; speaking as a listener, I couldn't put it better.

Characters: Kate, Jakob, Faith, Chuck, Jazzer, Ruth, Ellie
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The following morning Kate wakes at five to seven in her yurt, very cheerful; Jakob has had a horrible, uncomfortable night on the futon and simply wants his house, and particularly his orthopaedic mattress topper, back. He wants coffee from his own machine, and instant is not really good enough. Kate says she will go over later and see if they can find out what's happened, and get Faith and Chuck booked in somewhere else. Jakob can't see why she is doing this: surely they can sort themselves out? She tells him to go to work, and by the time he comes home it will all be sorted.

While catering to the breakfast needs of Faith and Chuck, Kate is told that her efforts to find them somewhere to stay and only managing Felpersham were a bit wasted, although Faith magnanimously does not blame Kate for there being nowhere in the village for them to sleep, because the whole point was to stay in Ambridge, where Faith grew up in a now-demolished cottage on the green – on the site which is now Glebelands, she tells Kate. Kate [unlike any normal person. Chris] does not ask what Faith's maiden name was nor whether she knew any of the Archers who would have been in Ambridge fifty years ago [Glebelands was built in 1978 – 9. Chris]. According to Chuck she made the cab drive past when they arrived [so the car that was parked outside Jakob's cottage last night was not theirs. Chris] and Kate exclaims that Glebelands has been there since she was a kid: when did Faith leave? Her parents emigrated to Phoenix, Arizona when she was ten and she has never been back until now. She just wanted to see the place; she has so many memories of it after having a lovely childhood there. Kate thinks coming back to your roots is an amazing thing to do. Chuck mentions that they have been together for forty years and the trip was a celebration of that, and Faith tells Kate that it is their anniversary on Friday. Kate's hospitality on Jakob's behalf knows no bounds; since there is nowhere nearer than Felpersham [apart from Borchester and Hollerton! Chris] they must stay where they are. Kate will speak to Jakob.

When she tells Jakob, by text, he is outraged and tells Jazzer all about it. Jazzer is astonished that they just turned up and let themselves in, and Jakob tells him that he's been on the site and it is his address on there; Jazzer works out that someone else is advertising Jakob's place as a holiday let without Jakob knowing about it, so it's a scam. Jakob says yes, he'd hoped it was just a misunderstanding but he has done some research and found out this kind of thing happens quite a lot. They've been had, and so has he. Jazzer asks where he is staying, and Jakob says he knows where he isn't: Kate's yurt. Jazzer offers him a sofa, and Jakob thanks him, saying it might come to that, but Jazzer then remembers that Jim and Alistair have a room going spare that they wouldn't mind him using till this is sorted out, and Jakob thinks that's a good idea: maybe he'll have a word with Alistair.

Ruth leaves a phone message for Alistair asking what time he plans to come over to Brookfield, if indeed he is coming today, because they have a Hereford needing his attention for an infected hoof. As she rings off she is approached by a woman called Ellie asking where the holiday cottage she has booked for four nights at £360 is. Ruth, not a sucker like Kate, tells her they have no cottage, nor any other building, to let, and, although Ellie talks about her six-year-olds [we are told in the BBC synopsis that this was 'sixteen-year-olds', but that was not what was heard on air. Chris] in the back of the car who are missing school for this holiday, Ruth stands her ground and refuses to do anything for her.

After they have climbed Lakey Hill and had no view from it because of the rain, Faith and Chuck have gone to The Bull; Chuck constantly grumbles in spite of her buying him a mulled wine, and his mood is not improved by Jazzer coming over and trying to be jolly about them being the folk who are staying at Jakob's. Chuck is grudging and unpleasant to him, and after a couple of tries at conviviality Jazzer takes himself off again saying it was nice to meet them. Faith tells Chuck that was embarrassing, and Chuck turns his sarcasm on her and describes Lakey Hill, and indeed the whole place, as 'miserable'. He describes The Bull as a run-down ye-olde pub in the middle of nowhere, and when Faith protests that it's not run down replies that it has a clapped-out campervan in the car-park. Faith informs him that the barman told her it belongs to one of the locals; he broke down so they're letting him stay there temporarily. Chuck peevishly insists the whole trip has been a mistake.

When Jakob instead of Alistair turns up to look at the Herefords, Ellie criticises his parking and stomps off, while Ruth comes over to greet the vet. He asks who that was and Ruth explains it was a very unhappy holiday maker who thinks she has booked four nights in a holiday cottage at Brookfield. Ruth tried to explain that she can't have done because they have no holiday cottages, but she was adamant and has just spent twenty minutes on the phone to the booking company to try to prove it to Ruth. Ruth claims that she did feel for her, especially since she had two teenagers [also sic. Chris] in the back of the car on their phones, and Jakob says this is really weird; Ruth rattles on for a bit about having offered to show her round so she could look for the holiday cottage for herself, and Jakob finally breaks in to tell her the same thing happened to him last night. He explains about the holiday having been booked on BorsetshireBreaks dot com, and Ruth recognises this as the same as what was said by her woman; she is puzzled, because it's an established site, but Jakob doesn't think it's the site that's the problem: he's been doing some research and has found out that it is relatively easy for someone to post a fake listing. Ruth is scandalised: what, so they could get more turning up? If they don't do something about it, yes, Jakob agrees grimly. Ruth doesn't see what they can do: ring the site and get them to take it down? Jakob wishes her good luck with that, but he has been trying all day and getting no reply. He thinks that if they are going to solve this they'll have to take matters into their own hands.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 26th November, 2024

Ruth and Jakob try hard, Kate and David are trying and Eddie doesn't try at all.

Characters: Clarrie, Eddie, Ruth, Jakob, David, Ellie
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The tumbledown barn that now belongs to Miles Titchener is still full of Eddie's junk (aka 'Grundy Family Heritage') almost a year after the land was sold, and Miles has quite reasonably sent an email requiring Eddie to clear it or be billed for it being cleared and the junk thrown away. Clarrie is at her wits' end trying to persuade Eddie to get this done by Friday, which is the deadline; Eddie, of course, is sure the junk is valuable and he can sell it on the internet as upcycling projects. Clarrie thinks Miles has a cheek wanting to be able to use his own barn, and that he didn't have to be so assertive. [If he has met the Grundys, he will have known that he did have to. Nothing less works on them. Chris.] Clarrie bemoans the fact they are rushed off their feet with the turkeys, and that they thought George would be available to help; also she is not at all sure about the upcycling notion.

Fallen in together at the tea room, Ruth and Jakob compare experiences with their homes being advertised for let at BorsetshireBreaks dot com and agree that it's dreadful and something has got to be done, with a side order of Jakob's annoyance about Kate's high-handed behaviour in turfing him out of his own house for the benefit of strangers. He spent the night with Jim and Alistair, though Kate stayed in her yurt to make a point, and he needs to order food for his breakfast. He's found an online forum where they discuss B&B scams; he'd had no idea how widespread it was, before. He explains about making fake listings on legitimate sites using fake photos [and let's hope no would-be scammers listen to The Archers, eh? Chris], which Ruth describes as a crime. Jakob has left a message for Harrison but the site has led him to think the police can do nothing to help. And Chuck has managed to get hold of someone from the website, who was very sympathetic but offered nothing in the way of actual help. Someone in the Cotswolds whose house had been advertised in this way reverse-searched the images and found the house whose pictures they were, but she never came back to say what happened then. Jakob thought it was worth a go so he did the same thing, and the pictures of 'his' cottage were of a house in Penny Hassett when it was on the market a while ago, and he plans to go over to it after work. Ruth can come if she likes. Ruth does actually realise that the photos could just have been lifted off the internet and they might trail over there only to find the owner of the house is just as much in the dark as they are, but Jakob asks what is the alternative, do nothing and wait for the next set of confused and disgruntled holidaymakers to turn up?

There is a car parked in the lane down which a herd of cattle will be coming through, and David wants it moved. One of the people in it emerges and asks him to stop shouting before he wakes the other two: if they are woken before ten her life won't be worth living. He is shocked: they've been sleeping in the car? She explains that they don't have much choice, and she's not homeless; yes, her life's a mess and their holiday here has gone to hell in a handcart but they're OK. But thank you for asking. David realises she is the person who booked the non-existent Brookfield holiday cottage and, when she asks how on earth he knew that, explains in his turn that he lives at Brookfield. He adds that she can't sleep in the car, especially not with kids; when she tells him not worry, they'll move on, he invites her back to the farm: he's sure they can work something out.

As he comes up Ruth starts to tell him about meeting Jakob, then sees who is with him and greets Ellie rather awkwardly. On being told that David found her and her kids sleeping in the car she feels terrible, though Ellie assures her they're fine. The girls are having breakfast made for them by Jill, and she thinks this is lovely of David but honestly, they will get it all sorted. Ruth agrees with David that they can't let them sleep in the car: it's not safe, apart from anything else. It becomes clear that they can't afford to stay anywhere else after losing the money for the Brookfield let, and they can't go home until Friday, but Ellie is definite in asserting that honestly, it is not David and Ruth's problem.

Clarrie is feeding the turkeys, and Eddie has failed to write the turkey orders into the order book: she has found some written on bits of paper. He also isn't helping with the birds, nor clearing the barn much, though he promises he will do the afternoon feed and tells her to trust him. He has put an old sink in mint condition up for sale and is sure it will fly out. Clarrie is not sanguine about that, and tells him he can finish up the turkeys, but he at once wants to go back to his sink and polish it up ready for collection. Clarrie tries to get him to promise he will put the turkey orders in the book as soon as they come in. As she tries, a message comes in on his phone: someone is interested in the sink and is coming to look at it now. He rushes off.

The visit to Penny Hassett was a frost; a long shot, as Ruth says. Jakob replies, their only shot. He has spoken with Harrison and been told there's nothing the police can do and they should report it to Action Fraud. They are both concerned because it can simply happen again, and also they don't know how or why they were chosen as victims. [They are not the bloody victims! The victims are the people whose holiday money has been swiped. Gus.] Jakob is frustrated that despite his best efforts he has made precisely zero progress. Ruth suggests he should leave it to his guests to solve and asks how long he plans to let them stay; Jakob says bitterly that what happens in his house seems to be out of his hands. Ruth says that if he wants them to go he should just tell them, and none of this is his fault, but he tells her to try telling Kate that. The thing that gets Jakob is that she doesn't even seem to think that she's done anything wrong. She's swanning around like Mother Theresa basking in the glow of her own goodness. Ruth can see he's upset, but he denies it: he's not upset, he's furious.

David has come up with a perfect solution: since, for reasons she won't share, she cannot return home until Friday, he is arranging for Ellie and her children, and Chuck and Faith as well from tomorrow, to sleep on camp beds (provided by Kate) in the Events Barn where there is warmth and space and bathroom facilities. Jakob thanks David very gratefully for getting him his bed back.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 27th November, 2024

Somebody recognises Faith, and yet another victim arrives in the village of the scammed.

Characters: Faith, Jazzer, Jim, Joel, Eddie
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

On his way to the events barn with an airbed being loaned by Jim, Jazzer is hailed by Faith and they chat together for a bit: Chuck wanted to go to London and book a hotel, but Faith insisted on the 'romantic' sleepover. People in the village have been so kind, she muses. She realised that Jakob was a bit put out at being evicted from his own house, so she has left Chuck there cleaning, something she asserts that Chuck will enjoy doing. They also intend to re-stock the fridge. Before Jazzer goes on his way she asks him the best way to the church.

Jim thinks he hears Jazzer, and goes through telling him he forgot the bedding when he took the airbed, only to find a complete stranger whom he asks who he is. The answer is Joel, and Joel, in turn, would like to know who Jim is.

In the churchyard Eddie is having a quick word with Joe's grave when he is disturbed by Faith, clearing her grandparents' grave and making quite a job of it. As she apologises for disturbing him, he recognises her as Faith Robertson, whom he last saw when they were at primary school together, and, thus prompted, she names him too. She also remembers Joe, and his ferrets. [They talk in the slightly awe-stricken voices reserved for reminiscence on the radio. Chris.] She asks if she has mud on her face after her gardening stint, and he points out the smear on her cheek. She likens it to a rom-com in which the heroine re-encounters an ex boyfriend when she is looking like a dog's dinner; he assures her she doesn't look like that, but then says a little apprehensively that he doesn't remember going out with her. She reminds him that they were married, one playtime in school, at the age of five. She's glad she ran into him; she was beginning to think that everything she knew of Ambridge was gone, after more than sixty years. It hasn't changed that much but it feels like being in a ghost town, and all the people she knew are gone. Except Eddie, who hasn't changed at all.

When Jazzer does get back Jim is very relieved to see him. He accuses Jazzer of having left the door on the latch when he went out, which Jazzer denies until Joel, from the living room, says that actually, it was on the latch. Jim ignores further discussion and tells Jazzer that he has made a citizen's arrest and 'contained' an intruder, who claimed to have booked a holiday in Jim's bungalow, but unfortunately Jim's phone is in the living room so he has been unable to call the police. Jim is obviously aware of the other holiday-makers, since he has provided a bed for one of them, but seems to be under the impression that this one is a criminal rather than a victim. Jazzer points out that Joel hasn't done anything wrong; this does sound like one of the B&B scams that has been going on, as Jim suspects it is, but this fellow isn't the scammer. The voice through the door thanks him. Jim asserts that he walked in bold as brass, and Joel calls that a bit harsh: he simply walked in. Jim wants to know how Jazzer can take the intruder's side, and Jazzer reiterates that Joel has done nothing wrong, just booked a holiday. The scammer is the one that gave him Jim's address, and took his money.

Faith and Eddie have adjourned to The Bull, where Eddie buys two halves of Shires for them and asks what made Faith come back to Ambridge after all these years. She wanted to rediscover her roots, it seems. Chuck wasn't so keen but she insisted, and who'd have thought they'd end up sleeping in a barn? The penny finally drops as Eddie realises she is one of 'those holidaymakers'. He says it's awful, this scamming business [and he should know! Chris], and Faith rejoins that talking about it makes her blood boil so why don't they change the subject. Tell her about him: what does he do? Eddie invents an antique business for her benefit, separate from the farm [a farm which of course he doesn't actually have. Chris], and introduces his wife into the conversation as his partner in it. Faith confides that there is no way she could work with Chuck, and says she'd love to meet Clarrie; Eddie at once invites Faith and Chuck to come over tomorrow evening to try some of his home-made cider: Clarrie would love to have them, he tells her blithely.

Peace has broken out at Greenacres, and Jazzer is pouring drinks for the three of them: the good single malt, as Jim is at pains to be certain. Jim is apologetic about having locked Joel up, and jokes about handing himself in to the police. He feels such a fool for thinking Joel was the scammer; Joel excuses it on the grounds that he gave Jim a shock walking in as he did. Jim feels that it is very good of him to be so understanding, and that Jim doesn't deserve it. Joel is impressed with Jim's library and reveals that he is an archaeologist, and he and Jim start to get on well together. (Jim has the entire works of Tolstoy, it seems.) Joel is there because he likes to walk, to ramble, and the area is a good one for that, with some lovely scenery. But he doesn't think he can do that now: he needs to go onto the booking site and sort out the mix-up. He thinks he will probably just go home. Jim at once asks why he doesn't stay 'here' as planned, but Joel says he couldn't impose on Jim, and, when Jim says he doesn't mind, that it wouldn't be right. Jazzer suggests the barn as an alternative, explaining there are others in the same boat: apparently it's not unheard of for several addresses in the same locality to be put on sites at the same time, a kind of scatter-gun approach. Joel's mind boggles, and so does Jim's. Jim offers to run Joel over to the barn and introduce him to David and Ruth, the owners, and then take him to the pub for lunch, by way of apology. Joel says that he would love that, and that he feels he's met a kindred spirit. Perhaps him being scammed wasn't such a disaster.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 28th November, 2024

All is harmony at the Brookfield Events Barn, with none between Kate and Jakob.

Characters: Faith, Chuck, Clarrie, Eddie, Ellie, Kate
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

At Brookfield, Faith is still being relentlessly cheerful, and Chuck is still grumbling, about every entertainment that is offered them. She wants him to try to reframe it a little, and he eventually admits that playing chess with Joel was a welcome distraction. When she breaks it to him that they will be going over to see the Grundys this evening his enthusiasm is containable, but when he asks if they have to she says a determined yes.

At Grange Farm, Clarrie is having a tidying session, handicapped (as usual) by Eddie bringing in dirty things to put down where she has just cleaned, in this case a flagon of his cider. She wants the visitors to think well of the Grundys, and Eddie can't see why they shouldn't, but she can't help feeling she and Eddie don't measure up to retired lawyers, and she doesn't want guests looking down their noses, or feeling sorry for them. When Eddie assures her they won't, she tells him crossly that he doesn't know that. To reassure her, he tells her that he does, because... He falters, then allows, in response to a sharp question, that he might have given Faith the impression they're doing a bit better than they are. He told her they ran an antique furniture business. As Clarrie utters a reproachful 'Eddie!' [she is not saying 'Eddoi' in this episode. Chris] he adds that this is alongside their day-to-day work on the farm, of course. She corrects him: the turkeys, he means. Eddie sheepishly thinks Faith might have assumed it was a bit more than that, and reminds Clarrie they do have the Texels. Clarrie is not deceived: he let this Faith believe they are land-owners, farmers, running a successful antique business on the side. Eddie confesses that's about the size of it.

At Brookfield again, Ellie tells Kate about her amazing day: David took her and the kids all round the farm on a tractor [all at once or sequentially? Is he insured? Chris] and it was fun. They also saw what Kate identifies as having been a murmuration of starlings while out for a sunset walk with Faith and Chuck, and Ruth has said Ellie can help her with the morning milking; Ellie really likes being on the farm. (Kate is revolted about the milking and explains she is a vegan.) Ellie feels this is just what she needed, a break from reality. Kate is over there to restock the tea and coffee and to check there are enough pastries and fruit for tomorrow morning: David is going to do a cooked breakfast but Kate thinks it's nice to have another option; Ellie is impressed by how thoughtful that is of her. She is about to go and check the bathroom supplies when Ellie urges her to go home and put her feet up, and thus discovers that Kate may be supposed to be staying at Jakob's tonight but has made herself odious to him by her ready donation of his bed to two complete strangers, and can't go to her father's house because his girlfriend is there. Ellie offers her a cup of tea, saying there is a camp-fire going [and where would that be, on a working farm? Chris], and Kate accepts: actually that would be really nice.

Faith is having a lovely time remembering characters she knew, and discovering how Eddie and Clarrie are related to them; occasionally she explains who they are to Chuck, and he has clearly had some of Eddie's cider and mellowed a bit. He praises the cider, in any case. When the visitors seem a little close to the Grundys' actual circumstances Clarrie asks about the trouble with their booking and heads off any boasting from Eddie; she asks how long they plan to stay. and Faith says they have to leave tomorrow because there's a wedding in the barn on Saturday. Chuck mentions it being different from their usual Thanksgiving, and as this is being explained to Clarrie there is a thunderous knocking at the door, so Eddie goes to answer it.

Kate is telling Ellie about Jakob's concerns over his house being fraudulently let, in disparaging terms which imply that Jakob is somehow wrong to be worried by it. Ellie can see that it is awful to have people turn up to your house expecting to stay, and Kate responds that her partner does like to be in control. Ellie sympathises that it must have been hard for him, but Kate discounts that on the grounds that he focusses on how awful it is for him and doesn't seem to care at all about anyone else, and that isn't who she thought he was. Ellie starts to try to defend him a bit but Kate is not listening to her, presumably because Kate is focussing on how awful it is for her. Ellie tells her that it sounds like she offered Jakob's house to Faith and Chuck without asking him, and, when Kate says it felt like the only option, points out that it felt that way to her but maybe not to Jakob. She asks what Kate is going to do, and Kate doesn't know. She can't face going back there now and has already told him lyingly that she will be staying at her dad's, which she can't face either, so Ellie suggests she could have a sleep-over in the barn with the waifs and strays.

The furious caller was someone attacking Eddie for mis-selling some junk, and everything he said was heard by the other three. Eddie makes a game attempt to explain it away, but Clarrie has had enough and reacts by telling Faith and Chuck the true facts about her and Eddie's 'business', much to Eddie's discomfiture. Most fortunately, rather than finding it all rather distasteful Faith and Chuck find it extremely funny; not that they are laughing at Eddie, they carefully explain, they are laughing at the absurd angry man at the door, and Chuck is able to be very sympathetic to Eddie about a spokeshave.

Kate is staying the night at Brookfield barn. Faith and Chuck return to find her there, and Faith reveals that Eddie had been a little economical with the truth but she and Chuck hadn't laughed so much in years; they had been drifting apart and not really talking since their retirement, with Chuck being angry and resentful and Faith not being very supportive, but tonight when they got back the campfire was still going and they talked. Faith hadn't realised how lost he'd been feeling, she just thought he was trying to stifle her. Kate tells her that she likes Chuck, and Faith says 'me too'; she thinks maybe she lost sight of that for a while. It's crazy to think that after all these years they're still discovering things about each other. Kate and Ellie think that's beautiful.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 29th November, 2024

Can the listeners have The Archers back now please?

Characters: Ruth, Ellie, Eddie, Clarrie, David, Kate, Faith, Jakob
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Rosemary Watts
Editor: Jeremy Howe

True to her word, Ruth is teaching Ellie how to put a cow on the electric milking machine. Ellie does a lot of exclaiming and giggling about this. Once the chosen cow is fixed, Ruth offers Ellie a cup of tea, saying that Pip will be fine to take care of the rest. She asks when they will be leaving, and encourages them to stay for the Thanksgiving dinner (or buffet, or lunch) which Eddie and Clarrie [ie Clarrie: I doubt Eddie has had much to do with it. Chris] thought would be nice for Faith and Chuck before they leave. Clarrie is cooking one of her turkeys and Jill's making a pumpkin pie, with Kate doing some veggie sides; Ellie definitely wants to be counted in, after which, she says with a sigh, she supposes it's back to reality. Ruth asks about this, saying that she is to tell her to mind her own business but it struck her as a bit unusual to take the girls out of school during term time to come for a week in a farm cottage. Ellie tells her they are at college; she told their tutors and they have brought work with them. She doesn't want Ruth to think she did this lightly: they just had to get away for a few days. Ruth asks if they are in some kind of danger, and Ellie says not danger exactly, but she just split up with her husband and gave him a week to get out of the house. He's not a very nice person and she shouldn't have married him really, but she was young and didn't know any better. When Ruth makes the right sympathetic noises Ellie explains that he was a real piece of work, angry, moody, and for a long time she thought it was normal: he'd fly off the handle at the most random things. But when he started on the kids – Ruth assumes the worst, but Ellie goes on that it was little things at first, making fun of them, but it was getting nasty and she decided there was no way she was letting him do that. [I do not believe this. Sorry. It is vanishingly unlikely that a nasty man would have not been nasty to his children until they were this old. Chris.] So she told him he had four nights to pack his bags and clear out. Ruth is impressed, then says it sounds like Ellie's really been through it and standing up to him can't have been easy. Ellie agrees that it wasn't, and thanks her. Being in Ambridge has certainly opened her eyes to the big wide world out there. [How? Gus.]

Under duress (that is, under orders from Clarrie), Eddie is clearing out the barn while she does everything else that is needed about the farm. He still has the idea that some of his rubbish is too good for the tip, but Clarrie is having none of that. It all goes to the tip before they get landed with a bill from Miles Titchener. Clarrie has to go back and check on the turkey in the oven, which should be done by eleven so they can get it over to the Brookfield barn in time for lunch. This is to be a surprise for Faith and Chuck, and Eddie has a little something for them, but refuses to tell Clarrie what it is.

David greets Ruth and Ellie with the time-honoured phrase 'hello, you two' and is not enthusiastic about the beavers being introduced to the rewilding site, which is what Ruth has been telling Ellie about. He is sure they will flood fields by digging out the banks of the river, and doesn't feel that beaver-hugging is what they need in Ambridge. He then turns down a cup of tea and says he is about to do breakfast for the campers, before asking about Ellie's experience of the milking; she is enthusiastic and says Ruth's a great teacher, with which David agrees. He wonders whether she and the girls would like to come with him to Home Farm to check on the ewes, an offer she eagerly accepts. David moves off, greeting Kate as he goes. Kate tells Ruth and Ellie that she slept surprisingly well, considering all the things she had going round in her head, and is on her way home to pick up some stuff for the Thanksgiving lunch: she thinks Clarrie's idea is fantastic. She is less gung-ho when Ruth mentions that she messaged Jakob as well, and just says she doesn't know if he will be able to come: she can but ask him.

Faith can't believe that Clarrie has brought a whole turkey: it's the best gift she's ever received. Who cares if it's a day late! And Chuck is over in the farmhouse kitchen with Jill, sharing his grandmother's recipe for pumpkin pie. Eddie now tells her that he brought a present for Chuck – well, for both of them: the spokeshave that Chuck admired. Faith is charmed. It will remind them of their Ambridge holiday, which has been perfect. Well, everything went wrong, but she rediscovered Ambridge, which really is a special place full of special people. She reminds them they have her email address and tells them they must promise to keep in touch, and even to visit some day. Now she must finish packing before they eat. After she has gone to do that, Clarrie realises they will never afford the flights to visit them; Eddie is sorry for another daft scheme gone wrong, and bets she wishes he really was a big-time antique dealer and landowner and farmer, but Clarrie tells him she's never wished him anything other than what he is.

As he arrives Jakob offers to carry something for David and Ruth, but there is no need: they are just taking over extra plates and cutlery. He feels that he will probably be unwelcome because of his behaviour and his inability to do anything about the scammers, though he has moved his spare key from under the flower-pot. Ruth remarks that now it's time to let it go, and Jakob mutters that he doesn't have much choice. Ruth tells him Kate has been a real hero this week, and David supports this view. Jakob seeks Kate out to thank her for inviting him, and to apologise for having been difficult this week. She apologises in turn, saying she shouldn't have offered his place to Faith and Chuck as she did, but Jakob discounts this, saying that she did it because she was trying to help; when she says it's no wonder he flipped, he mutters that he feels quite embarrassed about that now. She tells him not to: having people invading his personal space was his worst nightmare, and he admits he did find the whole thing very difficult – but he was so rude to them, and none of this was their fault, and in spite of that they cleaned the cottage from top to bottom and restocked the fridge. It made him feel he could have been more generous, unlike Kate who didn't hesitate. He tells her she has been amazing, and made him wish he was as trusting as her and as ready to see the good in people, but he also admits that if it happened again he can't promise he wouldn't react in exactly the same way. They then hug and say they missed each other, and Jakob says he almost went to the yurt to find her; almost. She tells him they could do another night there: it would do him good to get used to the cold, because she has started looking at accommodation in Finland. The trouble with that is that he has changed his mind too, and doesn't mind where they go for their holiday as long as it's somewhere warm; Kate can choose. Faith summons them to come to the meal: Clarrie is carving, and they haven't pulled their crackers. Jakob objects that he thought crackers were for Christmas, and Faith comes back that she thought he was a man of the world. He can't think what gave her that idea, and she tells him that only a sophisticated kind of guy would own a coffee machine like his and she had half a mind to pop it in her suitcase, only, sadly, it would send her over the luggage limit. She then looks at his face and reassures him she's joking, before wishing him a happy Thanksgiving.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 1st December, 2024

Chickens come home to roost for Emma, and Mick isn't as suitable as he thinks.

Characters: Robert, Emma, Mick, Jolene, Kenton
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Meeting Emma coming out of the shop on her way to work, Robert sets out to convince her that she should stop being afraid to show her face, and come to the Parish Council meeting tomorrow night since she has to come back sooner or later. She might as well get it over with, he says persuasively.

The Bull has a two-for-one mulled wine offer, which appeals to Mick although he is actually on tea; Kenton tells him they're doing whatever it takes to get the punters through the door. The Christmas rush isn't happening yet and the place feels dead. Mick asks if they ever do a Santa's Grotto. When Kenton says they don't want to step on Elizabeth's toes when she has one at Deck the Halls, and Jolene that she thinks it's not really a pub thing, Mick says that it can be a pub thing: there's this man with a pub outside Leeds who does a Santa Brunch every year. A couple of weeks before Christmas on a Saturday morning he does a set brunch menu for families, then Father Christmas drops in and gives all the kids presents; it sells out every year. Kenton is interested, but for next year; Mick persuades him there is still time to do it this year even though he and Jolene think it is too late to find a decent Father Christmas. They don't need to bother with auditions and all that; a suitable Father Christmas is already sitting at the bar drinking a cup of tea, Mick tells them.

Robert has now sought out Emma at the tea room for a word about the meeting tomorrow night; she tells him that she will be there, his wise words having borne fruit. Now she's actually decided to go, she's really looking forward to it. Robert is cast down, because he has to give her some difficult news: there's been a complaint, which Emma grasps is about her. Robert says it's about her rôle on the council; he ran into Richard Thwaite earlier and Richard told him, though he didn't know who it was from. He just 'had it on good authority that something has been said'. It relates to Emma's part in withholding information from the police about George. Emma protests that doesn't have anything to do with her rôle as a councillor, and Robert agrees but hasn't seen the complaint and doesn't know enough about the process to know if it holds water or not. Ruefully, Emma realises she shouldn't be surprised: she knows what people have been saying about her. What happens now? Robert doesn't know that either, but offers to ask Jim and get back to her, since he's on his way to see Jim about something else anyway and Jim is likely to know after all his years as clerk to the council. Emma appreciates that, and thanks him.

The Bull Santa Brunch is to be a week today, which is just barely enough lead time. Kenton, as usual, is optimistic; Jolene not quite so much so, though Wayne has said he reckons he can put together a Christmassy brunch menu in time. Kenton is anxious that it must be in budget too, and they swap sides on optimism, with Jolene saying it's good of Mick to offer to be Santa for nothing and Kenton pointing out that he does have his van on their car park, against which stricture Jolene exclaims. Kenton back-pedals and says it is kind of Mick, and he seemed very excited. Kenton thinks being Santa is up there at the top of some blokes' bucket lists. Mick then comes in wearing a Father Christmas costume which he has borrowed from Tony Archer and which Jolene declares is perfect. She tells him they have pencilled in next Sunday, and he is 'so made up', a comment he prefaces with a perfectly ordinary 'ho ho ho'. It's something he always hoped to do, and he agrees when Kenton suggests it is top of his bucket list. He has been working on his voice all afternoon, as he then proceeds to demonstrate by producing a frightening laugh combined with an ominous 'Merry Christmas' which causes a perceptible pause before Kenton asks him to let them hear it again and Jolene suggests more words, such as 'what are you hoping for this year'. The result is even less jolly and more alarming. Mick asks what they think, and they seem lost for words.

At Ambridge Hall Robert tells Emma about Jim's experiences with the booking scam victim Joel, and how it worked out all right: they got on like a house on fire and have exchanged email addresses. Emma is polite, but wants to know what Jim said about her particular problem, and it seems that Jim thinks the matter is most likely to be a code of conduct complaint: any member of the public can lodge a complaint about a parish councillor if they feel they haven't adhered to the seven principles of public life that they all signed up to. He starts to list these and Emma tells him she remembers and she has always upheld the principles. Robert assures her she doesn't have to tell him: he knows she is an excellent councillor. But he supposes if someone wanted to they could make the argument that she hasn't quite upheld all the principles. Baffled, she asks 'how?' [forgetting theft as an example of perhaps lacking rectitude, for instance, or failure to pay taxes, or not applying for necessary planning permission for a dwelling. Chris] and Robert tentatively suggests that someone could argue that in covering up for what George did, she did not act lawfully or with integrity or honesty. Just to be clear, he adds, that's not what Robert thinks; Emma tells him it is what some people think, and, when Robert argues that people who don't know her possibly might, she says bitterly that they don't know that, because it might be someone who does know her. It might be someone who knows her very well. It could be anyone, couldn't it. Robert feels they will find out in time. Emma tells him that she has really tried to build bridges with people in the village, and gone out of her way to try too make amends for what George did, but it's obviously not enough: people think she's not fit to serve on the council. Robert emphasises that it is one person, and there is no point in speculating: they might know more after the meeting tomorrow. Emma asks him to let her know what happens; she can't go now, no way. She'd be mortified, and they'd all have to discuss the formal complaint. Robert doesn't think so: Jim said it will have to be considered by the District Council [and in fact the PC wouldn't touch it if they are abiding by the rules. Chris], which alarms Emma, and then they would report back to the Parish Council to tell them whether the complaint has been upheld or not. If it is upheld it is up to the Parish Council to decide what action to take. There is no fixed procedure and it seems to be very much case by case, and he doesn't know how long all this will take: it can probably vary. He urges her again not to let this stop her from coming to the meeting as she had planned, but Emma is obdurate. She thanks Robert for speaking to Jim, and leaves to go home for the tea Ed is cooking.

Mick says he had better get back to the supper Joy is cooking for them, having only popped in to show Jolene and Kenton his Father Christmas costume. He'll see them tomorrow, and thanks them both again: he won't let them down. After he has gone they ask each other what they are going to do: how can he be that bad, Kenton wonders despairingly. At first they thought he was joking, and they still can't see how he seriously thinks that a reasonable Father Christmas impression. Kenton is of the opinion that it is absolutely terrifying and they can't let him loose on little kids: he'll give them all nightmares and everyone will ask for their money back. Jolene agrees, but adds that he was so chuffed to be doing it that she can't face telling him that he isn't going to be Father Christmas after all. Kenton at once tells her not to look at him: he's not doing it. It would be like kicking a puppy; Jolene heard Mick, he's been waiting his whole life for this moment.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 2nd December, 2024

Leonard has bought himself a present, and Lynda pushes her luck repeatedly.

Characters: Ruth, David, Ben, Leonard, Mick, Kenton, Lynda
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

The kettle is on when Ruth gets back on the quad bike from checking the ewes, and David thanks her for doing that; he's been checking the beef orders ready for Christmas. He asks how the bike was; apparently it keeps cutting out, and it is also wet and windy out, and he is disquieted to hear that Ruth didn't wear a helmet. She spuriously excuses not having worn one by saying she wouldn't have been on the quad bike if David had checked the sheep. There is a massive parcel for Leonard in the yard, and Ruth has let him know, so he's hot-footing from Borchester to pick it up. David tells her he is thinking of making a lasagne this evening [why is that the Ambridge go-to food? It takes more time and effort than many other equally filling dishes. Chris] now they have no campers and the wedding is over so he has more time. Ruth liked having Ellie and the rest staying, but is still upset that there is no chance of catching the scammer. David reminds her that the listing's been removed so it's not likely to happen again. They both feel they can do without any more surprises before Christmas, and Ruth remarks that for once, they are just having an ordinary conversation together, but just as they are rejoicing in that, Ben comes in telling them they have to see this, and wanting them to come outside.

Once in the yard, they find Leonard unwrapping his parcel, which is an electric bicycle. He feels it may make a real difference to his life. Ruth and David think it is all very exciting. Once it is unpacked Leonard is able at once to go off to try it out [with no such paltry considerations as having to charge it first. Chris] and offers to fetch things from the village for them all if they want anything.

Down at The Bull Kenton has asked Mick to come in for a word about the Santa Brunch, but before he can say anything more, Mick tells him that Joy loved his 'Father Christmas bit' when he did it for her last night. Kenton agrees that obviously his performance is great, but suggests there might be another way to go. Unfortunately when Mick tries for a more 'authentic, natural vibe' he just sounds understated, and unnatural in a different way.

As they get back to work, David and Ruth are interrupted by the arrival of Lynda dramatically saying, when asked if everything is OK, that she's afraid it's not. As though they were his keepers or in any way responsible for what he does, she gives them a histrionic account of having seen Leonard riding at an excessive speed in the village. He was travelling downhill from the village green in the direction of the country park [which since the green is at the level of the Am and downhill from almost everywhere in the area was clever of him. Chris] and even overtook some cars. She mentions speedwatch, and while Ruth doubts that he'd go fast enough to break the speed limit, Lynda is sure he could if he doesn't apply his brakes on hills. Ruth tries to placate her by telling her they will warn him, but that's not what she wants of them; she wants to lecture them about speeding, not speedwatch, and how it is extremely dangerous for everyone who might be involved, and how it would be awful if he were to have an accident. They agree to have a word with him, but Ben arriving at that moment with Bess means they are not yet rid of her, because Ben wants to know why they all look serious. They are saved by Kenton ringing her, and, after she's walked off answering her phone, Ben asks in astonishment if she walked all the way over to tell them that? He wonders how fast Leonard was going, and mentions thinking that e-bikes have a max speed of about fifteen. Ruth collapses into giggles, though David, who also laughs, says it's not funny really because it does sound like it was free-wheeling down hills. Lynda is right: if Leonard is whizzing round the village at high speeds [this village is not like Fowey or Lewes or Bishop's Castle, on the side of a steep hill. Chris] that's potentially very dangerous for him and for others. [Excellent. Keep it up, Lenny. Gus.] Ruth agrees that it would be terrible if he had a fall, words which Ben repeats incredulously, wondering why an experienced, confident cyclist would fall off his bike, even if he was going that fast, which Ben seriously doubts he was. He finds it offensive when David says that it is true that Leonard is no spring chicken, telling him not to say that. He indignantly tells them that Leonard is an adult who knows what he's doing, and he thinks it's great Leonard has got a bike. Ruth asserts that they just want him to be safe, with David in support of her, saying that all Lynda wants is for them to remind him of the dangers of speeding. He suggests that might come best from Ben, but Ben refuses to have anything to do with it, and Ruth does too, so it's up to David.

Kenton appeals to Lynda for help with Mick, and after she has made a few objections her vanity gets her to agree to see Mick and try to sort out his frightening Santa voice.

Leonard tells David he is very happy with his bike: he took it uphill by the water treatment works no bother at all, and then all the way to Penny Hassett [which is not quite two miles from Ambridge. Chris] and could have gone further except that he had told Jill he'd only be gone for an hour and didn't want her to be worried. Next time he might take a packed lunch and make a day of it. David says 'very nice', but in a preoccupied way, and then does his best to convey Lynda's Dire Warnings, with qualified success. When he tells Leonard that Lynda saw him, Leonard responds that he saw her too, as he was going past the village shop. [Which is on the flat, not a hill. Chris.] In the knowledge that the person who has worried David is Lynda, Leonard muses that every small village has these self-appointed rule-enforcers. He likes Lynda, but she can be a bit of a stick-in-the-mud. He then asks what she is concerned about, and David tells him she's worried that excessive speed on an electric bike could cause an accident. Leonard tells him to give over, and that it doesn't go that fast; when David says he just thinks Lynda wants Leonard to be safe, Leonard remarks that it very kind of her but there is no need to worry: he knows what he's doing and always wears his helmet, unlike some idiots you see. He tells David that if Lynda Snell comes round telling tales again, he'll speak with her himself.

Lynda is now making trouble for Kenton by encouraging Mick in his unpleasant voice, and talking about the Krampus and other unkind manifestations of Santa's Little Helpers; she wants to theme the event in the tradition of the Christmas Darkness as manifested in Europe, replacing the grotto with what she pleases to call Creepy Christmas. Kenton finally loses patience and tells her that he appreciates her thoughts, but what The Bull wants is a boring old grotto with a boring old brunch, none of the suggestions she is making. All right?

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 3rd December, 2024

Confrontations do not always have the desired effect.

Characters: Ruth, David, Emma, Leonard, Ed, Zainab, Brian
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

While mending a fence round some ewes, David and Ruth see someone David assumes is Leonard riding fast on a bike, and, after a sanctimonious back-and-forth about him possibly coming off it, David sets out in pursuit in the Land Rover, saying that Leonard is a pensioner speeding along on black ice and the fence-posts can wait.

Leonard meanwhile is at the tea room buying himself coffee and a pistachio muffin; Emma likes the sound of his electric bike, and they have a friendly chat. As Leonard is leaving for Waterley Cross, Ed arrives to grab a BLT on his way to Home Farm, where he has to do a tree estimate for Brian. Emma says bitterly that it's just as well she is working in the tea room today, since she doesn't think Brian would be happy about the village pariah turning up, but Ed doesn't see why: the main thing is that at least he's given them the work. When he asks how Emma's day has been she says she's been eyeballing every customer who comes in and wondering if they were the one who complained about her; Ed wonders if any light was shed on it at last night's meeting, but there wasn't, according to Robert, who said it wasn't even mentioned. Ed feels sure it won't have been anyone who comes into the tea room, though Emma is convinced it could have been anyone. He then says they have to let it go because they have no choice in the matter: he doesn't like it any more than she does but it's happened. He wonders if she even wants to carry on with the parish council but, having wondered the same thing herself only yesterday, today Emma is determined that she doesn't want to give it up because she is good at it and she enjoys it. BLT, was it? only she has tables to clear. Ed protestingly reminds her that he is on her side, and she says she knows that and is sorry.

With squeals from ill-maintained [Ford Focus? Chris] brakes David returns to Ruth; he caught up with the person they saw, only it wasn't Leonard, and it was a scooter not a bike. As Ruth asks who it was, Zainab pulls up on her scooter wanting David to tell her why he has been following her. [Presumably he was following her very fast, since he got there first. Chris (and Peter Sellers).]

Brian shows Ed the tree he wants fixed, and Ed reckons he can save it, but suggests he could take a look at the other crab-apples along the hedge while he's there; Brian agrees to this. As Brian goes out of sight Emma rings; she has been thinking and is now convinced the person who has complained about her is Brian, and she wants Ed to ask him whether he did. Ed reluctantly agrees to see what he can find out.

Ruth, who has provided tea, is now full of sympathy for Zainab's ordeal, being followed by a strange man, which Zainab agrees with her was very frightening. [Which is why she followed him when he stopped following her. Yeah right. Chris.] David makes an effort to try to explain that he was not following her; well, he was, but only because he thought she was someone else. Zainab's helmet is that same colour as Leonard's, and he's got a new electric bike. Zainab is unconvinced: David does know hers is a petrol scooter, she asks dulcetly. Ruth says she thinks David missed that small fact in his rush to apprehend the miscreant. David says heavily that he has been very worried Leonard has been going too fast,and Zainab suggests sarcastically that is why he thought he would chase him, to tell him to slow down. David sighs, put-upon; he realises when she puts it like that it does sound a bit... 'Ridiculous?' suggests Ruth, supportively, to which Zainab adds 'Dangerous?' David apologises to her and explains that he was so carried away by the idea that he should save Leonard that he didn't stop to think about what he was doing, until he did, and realised he was behaving like a complete chump. Zainab says that at least he's owning it. She supposes it's quite nice of him to be looking out for his mum's boyfriend, then identifies Leonard as a the man she saw at the temporary lights at the roadworks on the way out of the village, weaving to the front and trying to get a head start. David repeats 'a head start' in a horrified tone, and she emphasises that Leonard was riding in a way which of course she would never dream of doing (though she doesn't quite make that claim), and describes him as a liability. She tells them they should have a word with him and tell him to calm down. David thanks her and says they'll do that. She takes herself off, and David sighs wearily; Ruth says that the real question is, what are they going to do about Leonard? While David was chasing Zainab, Leonard was presumably racing along with not a care in the world because whatever David said to him yesterday clearly went in at one ear and out the other. David feels he will have to talk to him again; Ruth says they will talk to him together and then he can see that they mean it.

Ed has finished his inspection of Brian's hedgerow trees and goes to tell him so, and also, more tentatively, to mention Emma. Brian would really rather not talk about the matter; Ed says he'd be really happy not to but just needs to ask him one thing.

Ruth preaches to Leonard about just wanting him to be safe, and manages to irritate him to the point at which he becomes really quite cross and accuses her and David of insinuating that he is not up to it, and thinking he's a doddery old fool who 's going to wobble off his bike into a ditch. Would they be this worried if Ben had bought himself an ebike, he asks them, and it is clear that they wouldn't, for all that Ruth pretends otherwise. Defensively, the two say that if Leonard fell off his bike he might not bounce back from it as Ben would, and David describes him as 'sprightly for his age', a word which clearly annoys him. Ruth offers 'fit' and 'agile' instead, and Leonard retorts 'for a decrepit old coffin-dodger, you mean'. He knows he is getting on, but that doesn't mean he should have his wings clipped and his feet tied together just yet. David protests against this, and Leonard says bitterly that he knows some people think that when you get to his time of life you should stay wrapped up inside in front of the telly, keep all the old duffers safe and out the way; David again protests that they don't think that, and Leonard declares that he is very glad to hear it, because he might be getting on but he's got plenty of adventure left in him yet.

Ed has asked Brian whether he made a complaint about Emma, and Brian assures him that he understands why he asked this, but Ed can't leave it alone and argues Emma's cause. Brian tells him again that he did not make a complaint against her, and as far as he knows nor did any of his family, but he can't agree that what Emma did – he breaks off to say that this is why he didn't want to get into this, which Ed says he understands. Brian then proceeds with a few home truths about George's and Emma's behaviour and their failure to take the many opportunities they had to put things right after George's crime once Emma found out. Ed tries to argue, saying 'not straight away', but Brian goes on: of course he can imagine, doesn't have to imagine in fact, how it feels when your child has done something awful, something you can't justify, but what he can't imagine and cannot countenance is covering up a crime in the way that Emma did. And if you ask him, he adds, that does call into question her judgement in a way that justifies a complaint to the Parish Council, although he didn't make one himself. Ed, crushed, mutters 'right'. Brian suggests they should leave it there, and Ed gratefully concurs.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Wednesday 4th December, 2024

In which we see that fortune favours the utterly undeserving.

Characters: Azra, Ben, Lynda, Mick, Zainab, Jolene, Kenton
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

At the Darrington surgery Ben is making hot drinks, and Azra comes and asks for one; she gets a message from Zainab, who has forgotten her keys and wants Azra to come home and let her in. She has been told all about Zainab's 'run in' with David, which Ben found highly embarrassing [so why did he bring the subject up? Chris] but which made Azra laugh. Azra had a slight hope that it might stop Zainab from riding around aimlessly all day and think about university next year, a course of action in which Zainab has shown not the slightest interest; Ben suggests that if she doesn't know what she wants to do, applying for places will be tough. She wanted to be a doctor when she was a little girl, but Azra fears she may have put her off by not holding back about the harder aspects of the job. She then realises that her next patient is due and gets back to her consultation room.

Having gone to Grey Gables for a massage she claims not to be able to afford, Lynda greets Mick effusively, and is sorry to learn that he is feeling depressed. The reason for his low spirits is slow sales for the Christmas Brunch; Lynda is very sympathetic and says she's sure they will pick up, but Mick feels that it's his fault for talking them into it. They were worried there wasn't enough time, but he convinced them it would be fine – he was just that keen to be Father Christmas. Well, it's backfired on him now, hasn't it. It will be so embarrassing if no-one comes! He keeps imagining it: him turning up with a bag full of presents and no-one to give them to. Lynda says bracingly that she is sure that won't happen and there is still three days for people to book, but Mick says despondently that the shine has gone off it completely and he's beginning to wish he'd never volunteered in the first place.

As Azra and Ben are leaving the surgery Zainab turns up on her scooter [which on this occasion sounds as meaty as a Tribsa. Chris]; she has been sitting on the doorstep for half an hour and has come for the keys to the house, since Khalil is not there to let her in. Ben is ready to get off, but he pauses to bad-mouth his father to Zainab, and then Azra ropes him in to go and have a hot chocolate with Zainab and tell her all about how great it is to be at university, a discussion neither he nor Zainab is keen on having. Azra bribes her daughter with a tenner to pay for the hot chocolate and the promise of a takeaway for supper if she goes along.

Jolene rushes into The Bull in a state of excitement, to be faced by Kenton grumbling about having been left alone to deal with an unexpected rush of customers. After a quick burst of ill-feeling between them she is able to tell him she was in the shop and got talking to Helen (which he sarcastically says makes leaving him to cope on his own all right) and Helen told her Jack was really excited about Creepy Christmas – Lynda having told Helen all about the idea on Monday night but somehow quite failed to mention that Kenton had absolutely vetoed it. Helen is planning to come to The Bull to buy tickets for Jack and his mates. She wasn't sure about the brunch, but apparently Jack and his mates are all quite into the dark Christmas stuff: there's a lot of it on line. Helen has also told some other parents who are planning to book as well. Kenton, unimpressed, wonders if people are getting Christmas confused with Halloween; Jolene, however, is starting to think they have dropped the ball. Kenton asks dubiously if she thinks Creepy Christmas has got legs; Jolene doesn't know, but reckons that if it has, it isn't too late to change their plans. They've only sold four tickets for the brunch, so far. Kenton adds that at least they'd have Lynda's direction, because Mick's normal Christmas voice is unbelievably worse than his spooky one. Jolene proposes to do a bit of market research this afternoon and see if she can gauge interest.

Ben and Zainab are having hot chocolate together [where, we wonder but are not told. Chris] and agree that Ben will not preach to her about the wonders of being at uni; she feels there is no point in going if she doesn't know what she wants to do there, and Ben supposes not. He wonders what she is interested in, and she tells him lots of things but nothing that she wants to spend three years talking about. Her mum doesn't seem to realise there's no point getting up to her eyeballs in debt unless it's for something she really wants to do, which Ben thinks fair enough. Uni is sold as this really amazing important experience that you're really missing out on if you don't go, but Zainab says there are other ways to have cool experiences; Ben agrees again. Zainab claims she is not going to make a mess of her life: she just needs a bit of time to work things out, which Ben thinks sounds totally reasonable. Zainab then goes off home for her takeaway.

Jolene reveals to Mick and Lynda that she and Kenton have decided that they do after all like the idea of 'Creepy Christmas'; they owe Lynda an apology for not having immediately seen the potential, and Kenton describes it as a brilliant idea. They are hoping to have a brunch in the morning for the little ones and then in the evening the Creepy Christmas upstairs for the older ones. Mick thinks it sounds brilliant; Lynda rubs in their having changed their minds using her most saccharine voice, and then [as I'm sure we all knew she would. Chris] forgives Kenton for his lack of vision and agrees that it might just work, though they will need to book in some rehearsals. She and Mick compare diaries, agree that something can be arranged, and Kenton asks if they are on; when Mick and Lynda say yes Jolene and Kenton chortle and say it is brilliant, but Lynda has one more hurdle for them.. Now all that's left to do, she tells them, is for everyone to agree terms. Kenton says 'terms' in gobsmacked voice, and she tells him yes, terms; what was he thinking, financially speaking?

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Thursday 5th December, 2024

Either a hero or a villain is revealed, and Robert feels unappreciated.

Characters: Emma, Fallon, Mick, Joy, Robert, Lynda
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Emma has turned up at The Bull wanting to talk to Fallon, but is interrupted by Mick, who is using the washing machine there and offers to make them coffee. Once Mick is not in earshot Emma asks whether Fallon or Harrison made the complaint against her to the Parish Council, to Fallon's shock. While the matter is being discussed, and when the horribleness of not knowing who did this is mentioned, Mick comes back in, overhears, and says that he knows who it was. It was him.

Looking into the garden of Ambridge Hall, Joy sees Robert labouring in the garden; he is tidying the place before the arrival of some rather pernickety regular guests called Philpott, to whom Lynda wants to give a good impression to match the new decoration. Joy remembers they have had the decorators in and says she bets it looks lovely; Robert agrees that it looks very nice and wants to use her as an excuse to move indoors, put on the kettle for a brew, and show them to her, but she can't stop: she has a shift at the shop. She just dropped in as she was passing, to leave a book, A Dark History of Christmas Lore, for Lynda. She suggested Mick might read it, but he felt he had better wait for direction from Lynda. He is taking it very seriously, as is Lynda. Joy laughs that Mick was telling her she drove a hard bargain with Kenton and Jolene, requiring a donation to charity for the event, raising some money for international aid. Lynda is full of good ideas, Joy enthuses; Robert agrees, with the caveat that Lynda's good ideas often involve Robert getting drafted in to do the donkey work. Joy praises the garden and is sure Lynda's going to love it.

Emma is outraged: Mick's only been living round there five minutes! [Which has precisely nothing to do with the matter. Chris.] Fallon does protest at that, and Mick defends himself with some heat; long enough to have been involved in a car-crash caused by Emma's son, the one Emma covered up. Emma tearfully tells him it was a very difficult situation, and tells him he could have spoken to her; he replies that he had nothing to say. She accuses him of having had plenty to say, and Mick starts to talk about Joy, who would have been a good parish councillor; he thought it a shame she wasn't one, and had a look on the website to see how it all works, and there he read the code of conduct and got angry. The more he thought, the angrier he got, so he made a verbal complaint, and yesterday he put it in writing, and he's sorry, Emma, he doesn't know her very well and he's aware of that, but he doesn't think, with everything that's gone on, that she should be representing the people of this parish. Emma wants to know how he can possibly say that when he's just said himself that he doesn't know her. Mick points out that Joy could have died, and Fallon too; Fallon puts in that they didn't because George saved them, but Mick's point is that they were only in danger in the first place because of George. Fallon then has to go and serve someone. Emma tells Mick that she handed George in, and Mick knows that but it doesn't change what happened before that. She's right that he's a newcomer to the village relatively speaking but he's still allowed an opinion, and it is his opinion that there are plenty of other people round here who'd make very good parish councillors. Perhaps it's time she gave one of them a chance. Emma tells him shrewishly that he'll just have to hope they uphold his complaint and get her kicked off the council, won't he. She needs to go home, she says, but can't resist a final dig: she hopes he never finds himself in an impossible situation [she says, meaning the exact opposite. Chris], damned whichever way he turns, because if he does he might just be surprised by what he finds himself doing.

After all Robert's hard work he expected some enthusiasm from Lynda, but she has a new bee in her bonnet and wants him to undo the tidying he's spent all morning on: from now on rewilding is all the rage. Robert, exasperated by her lukewarm reaction to his having done exactly what she asked for before she went out, argues for a little and then stomps off in a huff to have a bath. If she wants the garden rewilding she can jolly well rewild it herself.

Now he has got his feelings off his chest Mick feels terrible about Emma because she was so upset, and has a heart to heart with Fallon, saying that she must think he's horrible. As it happens, she doesn't or at least claims not to; he tells her he has just felt useless and wanted to do something, and when it comes to it he doesn't think Emma has shown integrity. However you look at it she covered up a crime. Fallon reckons that it's complicated, and she thinks Emma only did what she did because she was desperate. Mick asks if she thinks he was wrong to complain, but Fallon tells him she didn't say that, and they then compare notes about still thinking about that night. Mick still has nightmares, and, when she learns he hasn't talked to anyone about it, Fallon encourages Mick to talk to someone about it, or to talk to Joy at least.

Lynda has brought tea to Robert as a peace offering, and apologises; after maintaining his peeve for a bit Robert thaws enough to make a joke, asking when he should expect the beavers. Lynda says that if the guests think the garden is not rewilded so much as overgrown, it will be her and Robert's job to educate them; Robert declines, at least in the case of the Philpotts: she can if she likes. She tells him laughingly that she relishes a challenge, then asks if they are pals again; he tells her they are always pals, he just wishes she'd had her epiphany a few hours earlier.

Joy had no idea how upset Mick was and is glad he has talked to her. She could kick herself: she should have realised. Of course the accident has had an impact on him! She knew nothing about it until she woke up in the hospital, but he had to experience the whole thing. She can only imagine how frightening it must have been. Mick asks if she thinks he shouldn't have complained about Emma, but she doesn't know. He tells her that he felt so angry about Emma and George having covered up the truth for so long: why should she get away with that? Joy doesn't think she is getting away with it, really, but when Mick asks if she thinks he should withdraw his complaint she says it's up to him. Just, if he's going to process this and learn to live with it, at some point there has to be some forgiveness, because otherwise where does it all end? How are any of them going to properly move on?

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Friday 6th December, 2024

It's the obligatory Yuletide Feelgood Episode. Or it's the first one, anyway.

Characters: Fallon, Ed, Emma, Joy
Credited scriptwriter:
Sarah McDonald Hughes
Director:
Pip Swallow
Editor: Jeremy Howe

Fallon has a puncture, and also a flat spare. Luckily for her Ed comes past, sees her and stops; he has a pump in the back of the van and comes to help.

Emma opens the door to Joy, who has come to see her bearing sausage rolls and stays to ask after Keira, then points out that it is a bit nippy on the doorstep and wonders if she can come in to have a chat.

Sorting out the flat and getting the spare tyre on is taking a while, during which Fallon and Ed talk together as the friends of long standing that they essentially are, and Fallon discovers that Ed is worried because Emma is 'in bits' and the parish council business may be the last straw for her. Fallon is suitably concerned, and tries to suggest that Mick is struggling to process it all and lashed out without thinking about it. Ed reveals, when questioned, that he thinks George is not OK; Ed and Emma are worried about him because he has refused to see them and shut them out, and worse than that he has made friends with a lot of men who are inside for violent crimes involving guns and drugs. [How Ed has discovered this is not made clear; George is not talking to anyone but Brad, and he isn't telling Brad things like that as far as we know. Also what men are doing on the youth wing is anyone's guess. Chris.] Fallon tries to be sensibly consoling, saying that George must just be trying to get by, and Ed reckons George is scared and trying to fit in, focussed on surviving, which Ed gets: he'd be the same. don't get him wrong, Ed is not saying George didn't deserve to be punished for what he did, but he is just worried: he's only two months into his sentence, and who's he going to be when he gets out?

Joy has come to inform Emma that she doesn't support Mick's complaint. She tempers this by saying that obviously she is supportive of him, and he is his own man and can do what he likes, but she doesn't agree with his complaint against Emma. Emma says she'd understand if Joy did, and she doesn't blame Mick neither, and she would do the same in his shoes. In fact she did do the same, when she thought Alice had caused the crash: she took Keira out of the riding school and posted on social media telling other parents to withdraw their children. She did worse than that and all, she adds, and never even stopped to think. So she can't blame Mick for complaining she is not fit to be on the council. [Is someone that vindictive suitable to be on the council? Discuss. Chris.] Joy takes it on herself to explain that Mick doesn't think she's not fit for it [he has said loud and clear, to Emma and to Joy, that this is exactly what he does think. Chris], he's upset and angry and he's taking it out on Emma. Emma continues to argue his side and cast doubt on her own, and Joy continues to assure her that she's not wrong to have behaved as she did. Emma says that she covered up a serious crime, and people could have diedJoy could have died but Joy points out that they didn't. She is sitting there in front of Emma alive and kicking, and she has George to thank for that. The only reason she's here today is because Emma's George helped to save her life. Emma says ruefully that she was so proud of him because his instinct was to help other people, and she found that reassuring because he hasn't always done the right thing, but this time he did, or she thought he had. Only the whole thing was his fault, he caused it all and put the blame on someone else. Joy says that yes, George did a bad thing but that doesn't make him bad, and it doesn't make her a bad mother. Emma remarks bitterly that's not what everyone else there is thinking, but Joy doesn't think that's true. She thinks most folk round here, and everywhere else, know how hard life can be, and unexpected and that we are all just doing the best we can with the cards we've been dealt, sometimes in impossible circumstances. Emma clearly assumes she understands because she's got kids, and Joy's comment is 'Let's just say, I know what it's like to have a complicated relationship with your child, to feel like you've failed them because things happened that were out of your control.' She goes on to say that because Emma's instinct was to protect George, she made some questionable decisions, but it doesn't make her a bad person. It doesn't make her a bad mam – it makes her a good one.

Ed and Fallon have ended up filthy but successful, and Fallon is very grateful, though Ed asserts that he did nothing and claims that he enjoyed it. Or at least, it was good to think about something else for a bit. Fallon is really glad they are all friends again and things are finally on their way back to normal. Ed agrees, but just wishes things were back to normal for him and Em. It's just all so complicated: they agreed they were going to put it all behind them and move on, but things keep getting in the way, like this parish council complaint. Fallon tells him they just have to hang in there, and if he ever needs to talk or have a drink he knows where to find her. He thanks her, and she gives him a hug.

Since Mick is rehearsing for 'Creepy Christmas' with Lynda, Joy is meeting him at The Bull afterwards; she suggests that Keira might like to see it, since it sounds as if it's going to be quite spectacular. Emma is not sure, and feels it might be a bit awkward, though Joy encourages her think it will be fine, telling her that she lives in Ambridge and doesn't need to hide away. Emma disagrees: she is starting to think maybe she should keep a lower profile altogether. Joy is not in favour of her leaving the parish council, though Emma feels Mick has a point and maybe she shouldn't be a parish councillor after what she's done. Joy tells her to come off it and she doesn't think that, but Emma says that if she quits she won't have to face any of the enquiry by the District Council or decision what to do about her by the Parish Council. And Ed, who thinks she should give it up because she has enough on her plate, would be pleased. The trouble with this is that the council is one of those things that's really kept her going [in spite of her not having attended a meeting during the whole time Robert has been on it. Chris] and she's really loved being a parish councillor, seeing it as a way to make things better for people rather than as a status symbol. Joy wants to know why she would give that up, and reiterates her lack of support for Mick. Her life has taught her that things are not black and white, the way he sees them: actually there is less black and white and more grey. Joy feels it would be a big loss to the community if Emma resigned and left the council to those who don't care as much. She'd rather have representatives who aren't perfect but know what real life is like and how tough it can be, than someone who's sailed through without any challenges. Emma doesn't know if she's got it in her to fight; Joy is sure she has: Emma's knackered and she's hurting, but Joy reckons she can find a little spark, enough to get her back on her feet so she can stand her ground. And when she does, Joy will be cheering her on.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Sunday 8th December, 2024

It's a day for alarums and (potential) excursions.

Characters: Joy, Kirsty, Gavin, Lynda, Mick, Alan
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

As Kirsty waves off a couple (she's an accountant and he has something to do with insurance) who have been viewing her house at the Beechwood estate, Joy comes over and tries to engage her in conversation. Kirsty doesn't really want to be told about what a shame it is that Joy can't continue to have Helen as a neighbour. Joy is also keen to share the information that they have been having another litter pick and that Emma was on it; Kirsty definitely doesn't care one way or another, and eventually manages to get rid of her when Joy says she will walk home with her [and then presumably walk back, since Willow Farm is not on the way to anywhere in the village. Chris] by saying she has a few things to do first. Joy reluctantly goes and leaves her in peace, but not for very long: she is startled to be greeted as 'Kirsty', and Gavin Moss comes out into the open.

There is no peace for Mick either: Lynda is rapping on the door of his camper-van wanting his presence for a quick run-through before the audience arrive. He is not happy at having been woken and tells her he'll be out when he is dressed in his costume, before shutting the door on her with firm finality. Alan sees him and makes a teasing remark abut putting the satanic into Santa, so Lynda at once starts to make excuses about the 'Creepy Christmas' idea; Alan of course is far too open-minded to care at all, and quickly reassures her, even when Mick emerges in costume as the Krampus complete with rams' horns; Lynda tells him to take them off, which succeeds in confusing him and making Alan laugh at her. He says he finds all the traditions around Christmas fascinating, and might even come to the show.

Gavin (whose conversation is punctuated with splendidly understated coughs at intervals) tells Kirsty that he got out of prison last year, and in return is told that Helen now lives in the house, not Kirsty. He saw on line that the house was up for sale, and realised this might be his last chance to see Kirsty, about whom he often wonders; he was trying to see how she was doing. Kirsty realises he was searching for her, and tells him she is not sure he should be there: she doesn't know what he is after. He protests that he is not 'after' anything, but says that he knows how much pain he helped cause to so many people in Ambridge and then starts to talk about his dad, whom he seems to want to repudiate: he claims he doesn't speak to him and tries not to think about him, since he ruined Gavin's life as well. He now realises, given Kirsty's failure to be at all welcoming, that this was a bad idea, and says he'll go; when she asks how he even got there he says that he hitch-hiked, walking from the by-pass – Kirsty seems horrified by such a huge distance, but he says he hopes to flag down a ride back. Anyway, it was good seeing her. She tells him to wait: she genuinely doesn't live there any more, but she's not far: why doesn't he come back and get himself warm?

It seems that although Mick did all right with the little ones, he is nervous about the twenty or so kids out there now; Joy tells him to stop fretting, and he says it would help if he wasn't absolutely cream crackered because the pub car park is not quiet after the pub shuts, and he has early shifts at work this week. He even had one of the drunks urinating on the side of his van. His ill humour spills over onto having seen Joy with Emma yesterday; when Joy tells him Emma was helping with the litter-pick he asks aggressively if she's all right with that, is she? Joy asks if they can't agree to disagree, and he sighs deeply and allows that he supposes they can. He crossly says that her and her lad have done enough damage and he's not going to let her come between them now. Lynda interrupts them to tell him it's time to go on.

It has now started to rain, and Kirsty says they made it back just in time. She gives Gavin a cuppa and asks him about his life: he has been living in hostels and doing labouring work on a construction site. He can't live with his mum because she's as good as disowned him. He asks if Kirsty ever found out what happened to Jordan, Blake and Kenzie, and she tells him that Jordan and Blake managed to get away from the gang and were doing well last she heard, but she doesn't know if Kenzie ever... Gavin talks some more about himself and how his father misled him, how deep down he always knew it was wrong; Kirsty tells him not to try to justify himself and, when he talks of her being whisked away to that cottage in Wales, reminds Gavin that unlike him, she didn't know how Philip was making his money, and Gavin could have stopped it all much earlier. He says he wanted to, loads of times, and he did wake up eventually, or rather he was woken by Kirsty: he couldn't bear lying to her any longer. He goes on somewhat about Philip deceiving her, and suddenly she has had enough and tells him she would like him to leave.

The Santa event has been a success, and Alan assures Lynda that he enjoyed it and there was nothing sacrilegious about it at all [pity. Gus]. He then mentions that if Lynda can pull this off in three days it's not too late for her to put on a village panto: Ambridge isn't the same without one. She thinks that would be a tall order even for her, and though Alan appeals to Joy for support he doesn't get it. Joy suggests getting together a party from the village to go to the panto in Felpersham. Lynda applauds the idea but declines to organise it. Alan makes his getaway on the excuse that he has promised to call on Mrs Chadwick in Manorfield Close, and Lynda says she too must go; Mick accepts valedictory congratulations from Alan and comes over to talk with Joy and be talked at by Lynda. Mick is going back to his van and hoping for some sleep; Joy tells him it's daft living in the pub car-park, and very determinedly invites him to come and stay with her. She knows what he said about moving in on equal terms, but she wants him to. Call it a trial run, just over Christmas; she needs someone to eat mince pies with. Bribed with the offer of warmed mince pies, and assured that it's not just because she feels sorry for him, Mick accepts.

The rain is pouring down, and Alan sees someone in the bus shelter, he assumes waiting for a bus; since he knows they don't run on Sundays he goes to tell the traveller so, to be told that he's just keeping out of the rain. He then almost-recognises Gavin, and Gavin says who he is and that he will be leaving just as soon as he can thumb a lift to Felpersham. Lynda then comes up to stick her nose in check if everything is all right, gets a nasty shock when she recognises Gavin and starts to hyperventilate before running away; Alan stops Gavin from trying to go after her, and tells him that he will himself give him a lift.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Monday 9th December, 2024

The reasonable is mostly ignored, but it seems the past can't be.

Characters: Tom, Natasha, Lynda, Robert, Kirsty, Alan,
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

While trying to get his and his daughters' breakfasts, Tom treads barefoot on a plastic building block in the kitchen; he admits he should have worn slippers, and he and Natasha briefly discuss giving Pat and Tony a celebration for their fiftieth wedding anniversary whether they want one or (as they seem to have said, since they are planning to take a weekend break instead) not. Natasha uses the fact that the two of them are in each other's way as a reason to complain about the smallness of the kitchen and start to do a hard sell on the idea of them buying the house at Beechwood, whose kitchen is larger. Tom, who is ignorant of Helen's actual reasons for not buying that house herself, does not want to be seen to swoop in and buy it when she was unable to afford it, and in any case they probably can't afford it either. Natasha disputes this: she has been looking at some mortgage deals, which comes as no surprise to Tom. He says they have discussed the matter, and when she argues that they can't very well wait for Pat and Tony to downsize, reminds her that wasn't what she said a few weeks ago; this is only since Kirsty put the house on the market. When she says that is because it would be perfect for them he says that there are other places. He agrees it would be nice to have somewhere bigger, but there's no rush, and anyway the girls are waiting for their breakfast and he'd better fetch them.

Yesterday's visitor to the parish has left Robert sleepless and unhappy, and Lynda also had trouble getting to sleep. Lynda makes small talk, while Robert wrestles with, and makes a mess of, opening a new packet of coffee. Finally Lynda grasps the nettle and speaks of the cause of their discomfort: Gavin Moss. She tells Robert that it was a shock running into him yesterday but she is no longer upset, and asks Robert not to be. He doesn't see why not, when they don't even know why Gavin was there. He inveighs against Gavin showing his face in Ambridge, and says he ought still to be in jail. Lynda tries to calm him by suggesting he should talk to Alan, who was speaking to Gavin and might know something. When Robert wants to go on grumbling, Lynda raises her voice to say please, she just wants to forget about him and enjoy her breakfast, and Robert being angry does not help. The awkward silence that follows her outburst is filled by her speaking of having read more about rewilding, and going on talking about this in spite of Robert not wanting to have that conversation; in the first pause, he says he is going to get dressed, and as he leaves the room the phone rings. Lynda answers it, to Alan.

The visitor's unwelcome presence is also the topic of conversation between Natasha and Kirsty outside the farm shop; Kirsty is explaining that Gavin was hanging around outside Helen's house. Natasha thinks that creepy and wants to know if he is allowed to be there, and Kirsty tells her that he can go where he likes and it's not as if he were aggressive or anything. In the end she invited him back to Willow Farm, which shocks Natasha. She knows she was silly to do so, but Natasha didn't see him: he was so gaunt and had lost so much weight from when Kirsty knew him and he was really fit. He looks ten years older. Natasha's reaction is 'who cares?' Does Kirsty not remember what he did? Of course Kirsty does, but he did blow the whistle, and also gave evidence against his father. Natasha argues that was after he had been arrested and after he had sold those poor boys, and he is not a nice person: what did he even want? Kirsty seems unsure, but has realised he only turned up when he found out she was selling the house and maybe he feels entitled to something even though he had no stake in the premises. She then tries to escape, but Natasha invites her to go back to the office where they can talk more privately.

Alan has invited himself round to Ambridge Hall, where Robert makes it clear that he detests Gavin and sees no reason to have anything more to do with him. Alan's mission (after he establishes from Lynda that Lynda is now fine, and from Robert that she wasn't last night) is to explain that Gavin seems very remorseful, though Alan wants to be clear that he is not advocating for him. Punctuated by groans and ill-humour from Robert, he explains that he feels he would be doing Lynda a disservice if he didn't pass on what Gavin said: that he wants her to know how sorry he is and that he is haunted by what happened and is asking to meet her so he can apologise for himself. Robert at once says 'No!' forcefully and unequivocally: Alan is right, they don't want to. Lynda protests, but Robert is well-launched into a recital of his anger and hurt, and is in no mood to consult her or listen to her opinion. He resists any effort from Lynda to get him to be less upset, and, when Alan says that if that is the case he will of course say 'no' to Gavin, tells him he is to do so. Lynda asks what else Gavin said to Alan, and, when Robert seems ready to attack her for it, she tells him decidedly that she would like to know. She asks him to calm down, and he refuses: no, Gavin doesn't get to apologise. They have to live with what he did; so does he.

It seems that Natasha believes Philip gave Kirsty the house as part of the divorce settlement [Kirsty let the house to Helen in January 2021, having offered to sell it to her, and did not get her divorce until more than a year after her marriage 10th December 2020, so she does seem rather to have jumped the gun in assuming ownership. Chris] and that this means Gavin can do nothing about it because Kirsty's name is on the deeds in black and white, but Kirsty isn't talking about what he's legally entitled to: she is talking about morally. Natasha thinks this absurd, and says so, but Kirsty was listening yesterday when Gavin talked about how Philip justified everything to him so convincingly, and feels that she was also sucked in; why should she get all the proceeds from the house? She was only properly married to Philip for a few weeks [two. Chris] and Gavin is his only child. Natasha advises her not to start shedding tears for Gavin Moss when there are other people whose lives he destroyed: Kirsty leaps on this as a reason to spread the money even more, but that's not what Natasha meant. It's not up to Kirsty to make amends for Philip and Gavin, and she did everything she could, going looking for the three slaves as soon as she discovered the truth; she doesn't owe anyone anything, especially not Gavin. When Tom now comes in asking about the website Natasha was going to bring up to date, Kirsty takes the opportunity to leave. She tells Natasha she is probably right about Gavin and makes her getaway, leaving Tom aghast: this is the first he's heard about Gavin coming to Ambridge, but he instantly says it's another good reason not to buy the house. Who'd want their money going to a piece of filth like him? [This is quick thinking for a man as stupid as Tom. Gus.]

Alan is very apologetic to Lynda as she shows him out and thanks him for coming over, saying that she does appreciate it. After she has shut the door behind him she sighs, and Robert comes through and thanks heavens he has gone, then apologises to Lynda: he knows Alan is the vicar, but to come there and expect them to forgive Gavin Moss... Lynda somewhat acerbically points out that Alan didn't say anything about forgiveness, then rethinks and supposes that as Christians maybe they should, which is more than Robert can believe: she almost died! She begs him not to start getting irate again: it's so not him. He reminds her that he spent a week by her bedside waiting for them to bring her out of her coma and not knowing if she'd pull through... He starts exploding again, and when Lynda suggests that Gavin might want to apologise says he can stick his apology, it's no help to them. Lynda turns the subject to a time about ten months after the explosion when they climbed Lakey Hill together, the first time she felt able to do the climb, and the view was so breathtaking it reminded her there was still so much of life to enjoy; Robert says he remembers. Then he remembers their conversation, continues Lynda, how they agreed to not let the past poison the present, to let all that pent-up anger go. Alan didn't come here for Gavin Moss's sake, he came for theirs. She's not convinced she wants to see Gavin either, but Alan does know what he's talking about and maybe it would be healing. At least she'd like to be able to discuss it together. Emotionally, Robert tells her he does remember that conversation, and they've let go of a lot of anger; Lynda remarks they've come such a long way. Robert feels that in that case, there's no more healing to be done, and there's no need to meet Gavin. Before she is able to say any more, he proclaims that he is going to take Monty for a walk, and when she says he's already had his morning walk because she took him earlier, calls back that in that case he can have another one. Emotionally, she says that neither of them is completely healed, and doesn't this prove it? Please don't walk away, she cries out tearfully.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti

Tuesday 10th December, 2024

After all that build-up, a bicycle crash with no fatalities.

Characters: David, Ruth, Alan, Lynda, Leonard, Gavin
Credited scriptwriter:
Tim Stimpson
Director:
Dave Payne
Editor: Jeremy Howe

As David and Ruth are driving to the farm store it becomes apparent that Leonard has been winding David up by talking about not breaking the speed limit on his bike, which Ruth diagnoses as a joke. Whilst they are out, she wants to remember to get a card for Pat and Tony's wedding anniversary on Thursday and asks if David remembers the wedding, but he doesn't: he was away at boarding school at the time. He does however remember them coming home from their honeymoon and Pat proudly announcing that she had been had sunbathing topless; at the time and aged fifteen, he thought Tony the luckiest man alive. It pleases Ruth to take mocking exception to this teenage crush and make fun of him for it. As she goes off into peals of laughter at his expense he asks if they can talk about something else. The single word 'beavers', which he then utters, pulls Ruth up short in bafflement, and he explains that he wants to ask Tony about the plans to introduce them to the rewilding: if they get out into the Am they could cause all sorts of havoc. Ruth doesn't think this a serious threat and says they are only toying with the idea. David however reckons that for farmers they will become the new badgers if they're not careful, but Ruth is distracted by seeing Leonard cycling towards them, and encourages David to hoot at him as a greeting. She shouts his name, and then realises he has come off his bike. [So let's get this right: he was coming towards them and David hooted at him; this probably caused him to swerve to get out of the way of the car that was hooting, and thus means David and Ruth were directly responsible for his fall. Those two are a bloody menace. Chris.]

In another car, Lynda and Alan are also on their way out of Ambridge to see Gavin, and Alan wants to be sure Lynda really doesn't want Robert to know they are doing this. She is determined: it's not up to Robert to dictate how she feels, and this is something she needs to do for herself. If she can't look Gavin in the eye she has let herself down. They then become aware of Ruth, David and Leonard in the road ahead.

Leonard is in pain but doing his best not to make a fuss; David acknowledges blame for his having fallen, as does Ruth, and Lynda, seeing that he has hurt his wrist, exclaims 'Thank goodness you were wearing a helmet!' Alan asks if they can help and is told they can't, so he and Lynda go on their way. Ruth asks if he needs to get his wrist checked; he makes an agonised noise when she asks if he can bend it, and she says sorry. [I do hope she didn't bend it for him to find out! Chris]. It is already quite swollen, so they decide to get him into the Land Rover and take him to A&E.

Alan encourages the coughing Gavin to begin the conversation, since he was the one who asked for it. He starts by thanking Mrs Snell for agreeing to meet him and apologising for freaking her out on Sunday, congratulating her on her MBE, and saying that he had been wondering how she was. He tells her she looks like she is doing really well, then realises this might not be the best thing to say, and tells her that he just wanted her to know how sorry he is: sincerely sorry. What happened to her in the explosion was his fault: it was him who gave Blake the petrol and made him use it instead of adhesive remover. Lynda is breathing carefully, and Alan intervenes to suggest that he is not sure going over such details is helpful, but Gavin reiterates that he wants Mrs Snell to know he takes full responsibility. If it makes her feel any better, he's still suffering. He doesn't expect her to feel sorry for him and he knows it's nothing compared with what he put her through, he just wants her to know that his life's been destroyed too. He has no friends or family, he's got nothing and no-one which is fair enough and he deserves it, and he thought knowing that might help Lynda. She informs him crisply that it doesn't. Knowing he is suffering doesn't make her feel any better. How could it? It can't give her back what was taken from her.

At the hospital, David has rung Jill, who was upset; he told her Leonard wasn't going that fast, which Ruth says is ridiculous and he must have listened to what they said; David gloomily remarks that he then had to go and hoot at him, and Ruth, not to be outdone, reminds him that she told him to. She's not sure how much difference it makes whether it's a break or a sprain, and David tries to be optimistic.

Lynda is now telling Gavin precisely what he did to her, enumerating operations to her pelvis and her collapsed lung, and skin grafts from her leg and her scalp. She's become quite adept with her make-up and how she wears her hair, but she's sure he doesn't have to look too closely... 'No', agrees Gavin, crushed: he can see. Lynda won't bore him with the details of her recovery; her scars aren't as painful as they were but they still can be very sensitive and she has to massage and apply creams to them every day... Alan tries to intervene because she is upsetting herself, but she prefers to continue, telling him she is OK. The hardest thing, she goes on, was not knowing who she was any more: how she looked, how she felt, the way she reacted to things. She was someone who loved nothing more than being among people, reduced to cowering in her home, scared her husband wouldn't be able to love her, terrified she wouldn't be able to show him how much she loved him. She seems about to sob uncontrollably, but then pulls herself together to say strongly that was taken from her that day, and that is what she needs Gavin to understand. He tells her that he does, and she says she is glad, because she has fought to find that woman again, she has had to prod and bully and cajole, and even now, when she's about to step outside, there's still part of her that wants to turn around and hide. She has decided that's not an option, though; that's why she is here. Gavin has trouble replying. He doesn't know what more he can do other than say how sorry he is. He wishes he could put it right, go back and do things differently. Flatly, Lynda tells him she does too, but they can't and there's no point wishing it. If it's any solace, she does have a new appreciation of all the ways in which she is fortunate: she has a a wonderful husband, a lovely home, marvellous friends including Alan (who murmurs that they are fortunate to have her) and she feels more supported by her community than she ever did before. It must be awful not having any of that. Gavin repeats that it is only what he deserves. But if he is asking her to forgive him, Lynda continues, she just can't. She doesn't need him to punish himself, but she can't forgive him either. It wouldn't make any difference anyway. He protests that it really would, but she informs him that it wouldn't; not unless he forgives himself. They can't change what happened, but they can accept it; accept it and try to move on.

David was unable to ring Jill back because they were talking to the doctor, but is on the phone to her now; Leonard has been put onto a bed and is struggling to sit up, so Ruth helps him. David reports that the doctor says it's a fracture and they are waiting for it to be put in a cast. David says Leonard is fine and has been given pain-killers, but Jill wants to talk to him herself; David hands over the phone and he and Ruth retire to a distance in order not to eavesdrop and discuss letting Simon [Leonard's son. Chris] know, though they don't know what time just gone four pm in England may be over there: David guesses at a vague 'night-time' [just after midnight. Chris] and Ruth wonders if he might fly over to look after his dad. David asks how she means. She points out that someone is going to have to look after Leonard while he has his hand in plaster, because he'll struggle on his own. David hadn't even thought that far, and, when Ruth suggests that maybe he should stay with them, protests that the doctor said it would be six weeks until the cast can come off, and they're not set up to look after an injured eighty-something-year-old: Mum certainly can't. Ruth says that Ben could help, and David agrees that he could, but he's got his work and is barely around. With all the Christmas events in the barn, as well as the regular farm work... Ruth is not saying it wouldn't be difficult, but they can't just dump Leonard on his doorstep and expect him to fend for himself: what choice have they got? None, as it turns out, because Jill has already invited Leonard to come and stay at Brookfield; Leonard reports that she is insisting that he should. Is she, asks David hollowly.

Summarised by Chris Ghoti


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